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greekbros · 3 years

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"greek-Bros: Battle of the Bands"

*Apollo, Hermes and Dionysus have decided to enter into a devine battle of the bands. Their most toughest competition is the Nordic gods....and they've realized they need a another member*

Apollo: *grumbles to himself about the rules of the competition*

Dionysus: come on man, it's ok, I know that being barred from doing multiple things for being TOO good at something is upsetting, but think about it, you playing the lyre and not being the lead singer isn't too bad.... I mean, I've been kicked out of plenty of brewing competitions.

Hermes: Didn't you get kicked out of your own wine contest?

Dionysus: *turns to hermes with an unamused face, than turns to apollo* ....... besides! I bet we can find a singer.

Apollo: I know, but I just don't want you guys to lose just because I'm not going to guarantee you guys winning.

Hermes: I understand dude, but you know we need a lead singer. I mean......I'm not up for it.... mostly because I'm already playing tambourine. And you, Dionysus, are playing bongos.

Dionysus: *dramatically plays the bongos*

Hermes: we got strings, percussions, the brass...so...we need a voice. *Off in the distance, Hermes hears Ares scream at the top of his lungs* ......... anyway, I would like to sug-*again hears Ares scream again* ......I want to suggest asking Ar-*Ares just starts breath loudly* OH MY GODS WHAT NOW?!?

Apollo, Dionysus, and Hermes: *all three brothers go to find Ares lifting dumbbells*

Ares: *lifts up and screams*

Apollo: ....Ares can you PLEASE keep it down? Must you scream like that?

Ares: *tosses the dumbbell over* what? Oh, I was working on lung day.

Dionysus: Lung day?

Ares: Lung day......what are you guys doing?

Hermes: ......one second. *Huddles Apollo and Dionysus* I think we have our voice.

Apollo: *whispers* Absolutely not! I will not have Ares's literally primal cries of death and destruction ruining the harmony of our instrument playing.

Dionysus: *whispers* Look I know man, but to be fair the rules are simple, if you're playing an instrument, you can't sing. That's the rules.

Ares: *sneaks in to over hear the convo and whispers* what are you guys talking about?

Apollo, Dionysus and Hermes: *all scream and lose like 10 years off their life spans*

*later*

Apollo: *after explaining the situation to ares* Ok, do you understand what you need to do?

Ares: yes. Scream.

Apollo: NO. You have to sing. It's like screaming...but with intent.

Dionysus: *has a bowl of fruit with Hermes sitting by his side* oh boy, a singing lesson.

Hermes: Yep. This is going to absolutely ruin our ear holes.

*later after failing to teach Ares to sing*

Apollo: *in a corner nearly ready to cry and couldn't believe he was going to lose to Balder and his musically challenged nordic brethren*

Ares: *looking at Apollo like a child who has no idea what he did* ........stop crying you're ugly when you cry.

Hermes: holyshit. He's actually worse than his son.

Dionysus: *finished his fruit bowl and is sleeping from boredom*

*later, The Bois meet up with Nordic gods*

Balder: Ah there you are Apollo! How are you doing this fine and glorious mornin? I can't wait to hear your band's performance!

Apollo: *not happy* ......... swimmingly.

Balder: Ah wonderful! I see your brothers are here.

Ares: *walks around, sees Tyr, waves to Tyr* HEY MAN!

Tyr: *was talking to Thor, looks at Ares and tries to pretends he's not there, but waves back with his missing hand*

Balder: Hohohoho, good luck out there friend!

Apollo: ....let's get on with it.

*later the Nordic gods (Comprising of Baldar, Thor, Tyr and Loki), decides to sing a cover of a beetles song, the judges of Odin, Freya, Zeus and Hera were impressed at best*

Apollo: oh noooooooooooooo they're good! Why did I agree to this?

Ares: ....pft. I can totally do better. *Still has no idea what he's doing*

Dionysus: dude we're fucked.

Hermes: *was writing a song* ok because Apollo is being a sad sack...here's a song I rewrote our song.

Apollo: Hermes why?!

Hermes: if we can't win with genuinely good catchy music....than we will DEFINITELY win with this. *Shows what basically is a greek version of a tenacious D song*

Apollo: .......oh wow now you've insulted me.

Dionysus: holyshit this is perfect.

Ares: woah...... DIONYSUS switch places with me. I can't invoke the level of epic this song requires. Not even me.

Dionysus: oh thank God yes.

Apollo: .....we could have switched?

Hermes: yeah..... except you and Baldar....for obvious reasons....I mean..if he opens his mouth life itself becomes puppies and rainbows and you are literally the god of music, instruments and the concept of art itself.

Apollo: Fine...that's fair.

*Dionysus takes up the mantle of lead singer, Apollo now switched to a bouzouki (greek guitar), and Hermes in now on the drums instead of bongos and Ares has a tambourine and dionysus basically sing "With Karate I will Kick Your Ass" by Tenacious D. Basically is the spiritual blueprint for Jack Black.

*The Norse Gods can't stop laughing at the song because it's just that silly while the judges are horrified*

*later*

Balder: *gives Apollo a good pat on the back* Well done pal! I can't believe you and your awesome brothers won! Congratulations!

Apollo: *forever dieing inside for being associated with the song*....

Dionysus: my gods....that was the greatest song ever.

Ares: so Hermes how did you write that?

Dionysus: yeah man, what inspired you to write this absolute masterpiece?

Hermes: ....ugh....

*literally a week ago*

Hermes: *has been running around looking for a girl he was dating until he found her cheating on him with Hermóðr (the norse messenger of the gods) *sheds a tear* ....no reason......fukn bastard

#greek bros #greek mythology #greek-Bros #dionysus #ares #Apollo #hermes #Hermóðr #thor #tyr #loki #greek gods #norse gods #greek myth memes #Balder

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rhydium · 3 years

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Info dumbo about the StarFinite story?

aright u asked for it anon GET READY [cracks knuckles] this is gonna be long so obligatory cut in 3, 2........

...1!

so the uh, the au! the story!! w/e yall wanna call it! full disclaimer, i only began working on this whole thing a while ago, but it's totally taken over my fukn brain. like, we're talking big hyperfixation hrs. am i cringe for being this invested in my own content? yes? cool i do not Care >:3€

i should also throw it out there real quick that i am kin w/ infinite, n this is actually one of my two canons (both of which are my own aus lmfao wow). i didn't go into it expecting it to be but sfsfsgdfs here we are ig!! for that reason it's got extra importance to me n this definitely contributes to the euphoria i get from it!! it's a lil odd writing ur own canon,,? but i kinda just go w/ the flow!

the au n, the story that i will start Eventually, revolves around infinite n starline (obvi) n it's honestly just ... the tl;dr is big healing momence n, what's this? uh oh sisters !!! they are falling in love 😳😳😳

uhhhh so infinite is an android, made by eggman. that's like, the most notable canon divergence here! super important context to have. i've got a whole big theory on the possibility of sega originally intending infinite to be an artificial being (which i explored in the works for my Other canon too), stemming from not only the scene in forces wherein infinite comments on sonic's "data", but a line of dialogue from tails in one of the last stages of the game where he Literally Says "so this is where eggman built infinite". that ... i mean. that contrasts w/ episode shadow pretty hard don't it?? would explain why that dlc was so rushed, n the comic too. ANYWAY adsfsfs um that's a seperate ramblepost. yeah!!!

they are also agender n use they/them (primarily) as well as he/him!! so i'll be refering to them w/ those pronouns!

after the war, infinite is taken in by the resistance n, instead of being dismantled, they're basically given a chance to rehabilitate themselves. it's agreed that they won't be reprogrammed, as despite the potential risks, it feels wrong to do so; like a violation of their free will, individuality n thinking. if infinite is to be a good person, it's not gonna be bc other ppl recreated their entire personality, it's gonna be bc it's what they themselves truly want. robot ethics idk man!! u can't tell me that sonic n co wouldn't offer this to infinite if they offered it to metal in IDW,,,, i am Standing By This!!!

it's, yknow, a bit rocky, at first. infinite has to really fight the urge to return to eggman (something they already tried once, before the resistance found them; they were cast out). it's a struggle against what they were built to do, against giving into unhealthy familiarity over facing a, while healthier, unfamiliarity. new faces, a new life, turning their back on their mission n creator, it's like, a lot.

they work for/with the sonic crew, rebuilding the world they tore down as deemed fitting justice, being closely monitored for a bit as a natural precaution. as it becomes apparent infinite truly no longer has any ambition to harm others (they don't have much ambition for anything, really), they're then granted more freedom, n start taking on more important missions!! it at least gives them something to do, keeps them occupied. they have issues with dissociation, unreality, whether they're truly a real person bc, well, android. feeling purposeless, n a lack of worth, especially. a need to prove themselves. heavy stuff. i'll kinda go into that a bit more in a sec. their work grounds them, if only temporarily.

n soooooo... IDW comic stuff happens. metal virus time. starline gets kicked out of the empire.

now, as the comics are ongoing, n as this is already an au, there's gonna be divergence, n i must admit i haven't planned out all that yet. there's a lot i have to consider!! infinite being w the resistance/restoration is a big game changer ... tho i Do believe that they were absent, likely on a far out mission during most of the chaos. eggman doesn't know abt them, nor does starline or anyone else other than the sonic crew; n some civilians that recognise them.

i'm not 100% sure of Exactly when it happens, but i think it's just after bad guys, that infinite is sent to locate n bring in starline. it doesn't prove too difficult. there's a whole, starline realising "oh fuck it's you???", some bickering n, the two don't hit it off right away. they're both kinda like. not mentally stable ddgddgdds,,,

so uh. starline ends up essentially going thru the same sorta shit as infinite. careful watch, rebuilding, all that jazz, making sure he can be trusted. he's like... very very lost, quite like infinite is. the world has kinda calmed down, in the meanwhile.

it's at this point i'm gonna go ahead n drop a bit of a ramble i subjected my friends to a while ago, to articulate the way i see the two, n their dynamic together!! i was considering making this it's own post a while ago!

analysing their characters a bit... let's look at starline. Like. so we have this, in bad guys, which SENT ME tbfh;

i feel like it's the moment that triggers starline onto the path he is rn canonically,,, he's clearly like. rly mad n bitter. the core of this?? he wants his work n his efforts to be acknowledged.

he's big angry. still kind of in denial at this stage. he has himself obsessed w/ the idea of making eggman see him as Worthy, that if he just tries hard enough, that'll happen. he's dependent on eggman's validation, n i mean, it's no surprise; he's followed him a Long Time by the sounds of it.

then in the recent issue, hold the fuck up, bc we got, This;

god. my god it's all comin together now homies. this???? this right here??? it is the CLASSIC "i have to do this to prove i'm strong n powerful n smart n worthy n should be respected please Give Me Acknowledgement" ..... n who else is Like That? can u see where im going w/ this?

i think most ppl are aware of infinite's character being extremely indicative of self worth/esteem issues n the need to prove themself, right?? the extreme adversity, repulsion, perhaps even fear toward the idea of being weak. the compulsion to prove otherwise, to show their strength, to become powerful, to conquer to make a point. their theme exudes this same energy as their behaviour in-game; an aggressive attitude, trying to assert themself, while if u rly listen...? the lyrics are actually really sad in places. it reeks of cover up, although composition wise, a v interesting thing to note is a lot of the more telling lyrics are prominent while some of the affirming ones are in the background. indicative of a desire to have their true feelings be heard but caught in a vicious loop?

okay okay that's yet Another different analysis. AHEM.

not to get deep on main (oh who the hell am i kidding that's the point of this entire thing) but i think starline has issues w/ his worth in a similar way to infinite. they both seem to have this need to Prove something, whether it's to others or themselves, n get caught in a toxic spiral of doing worse n worse things for Some kind of validation or acknowledgement. they'll go to really big lengths chasing that, n both of them ultimately sought validation in the wrong place n wrong way.

this is a big part of my starfinite dynamic,, n so, what happens, as they get closer n open up??? we have them BOTH realising together that they don't have to do fuck all to prove anything to anyone. they don't need to do all this to show they're strong n smart n worth something, not to anyone else OR themselves. they're enough as they are. they bond over that shared feeling that they have to do xyz, to prove themselves, n that desire to just finally be acknowledged n appreciated n help each other thru it. to help each other understand that other ppls approval, or lack thereof, doesn't define them, their strength, intelligence, and worthiness.

i feel like they have an interesting parallel between them in like... the above could be taken as a general analysis, but to go more in depth on this au specifically?? ...

starline followed eggman for presumably a long time n it no doubt left him feeling a heavy and deep regret for all that time wasted n spent on an unhealthy path. infinite kinda teaches him that what matters is what he's doing Now n also reminds him that if none of it happened, starline wouldn't have learnt a lot of the serious skills he has. n while starline still feels bad, he also realises himself that, he likely never would have crossed infinite's path if none of it happened. for that reason, he wouldn't take it back.

infinite has only been recently made, on the other hand. they haven't really existed long, yet, but so far their experiences haven't been very positive n it can be .... discouraging. starline sorta, shows infinite their limited experiences w/ the world are a very tiny fraction of what's out there, n things can absolutely change, yes, including for the better; that's the essence of life, a neverending, constant flow of change.

it's a big tale of moving on n letting go, honestly; made easier as they're doing it together. n as they heal n grow, well... these bitches gay. sfshshdgds like, ig that's putting it p bluntly but!! they start to trust each other, understand each other more. as they get to truly know who the other is, they both start developing The Feelings. they're both pretty oblivious n the reveal is totally unknown so far!! yeah, i know, bummer. i suck. boo. adafsfsds however i can say there will be lots of content in the making!! if that soothes the soul! i've got of ideas i hope to bring to life.

ofc there's still a lot of more specific things i haven't covered here so! if y'all want more juice hmu w/ more focused questions but !! this is the overview n i hope it was a decent read now that gave some uhhh! Cool Insight! yea!!! ✌

#jackal.txt #android infinite au #i need a proper name for this #infinite the jackal #dr starline #starfinite #long post #idw sonic spoilers

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jonarchivistcansing · 4 years

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So I have a magnus archives playlist

I’ve been making a long chronological Magnus Archives playlist for my own amusement (So This Is Basically The Magnus Archives) , but since season 5 is close and my college kicked everyone out i decided to Do Something Unnecessary.

I have taken painstaking effort to not only properly organize this stupid thing with specific tma episodes, but also have documented the episodes as well as why I included the songs (under the cut). This is my Magnum Opus. I have officially pulled an all nighter to work on this. AND i’m making another playlist with songs that I wanted to keep tabs on in case I end up needing to use them as s5 comes out (here) Spoiler warning obviously

Please send me some songs if you follow the playlist and think they should be on there!

TLDR - Grace for sale = season 1 finale; Bad Bad Things = season 2 finale; Greatest Show Unearthed = season 3 finale; Just Did a Bad Thing = Season 4 finale.

I bold the songs I added most recently. Honestly I recommend listening to the playlist first because its way fun and like referencing this if you really care about it. Please give me song suggestions or alterations!

Song Name - MAG00 - PoV/Sung at/etc; Event. NA = Not Applicable

The Office Theme - NA

memes

Turn The Lights Off - MAG 01

The whole “Dont go in there” theme is applicable to the danger of the Angler fish, which also parallels that first statement acting as a lure for Jon

Don’t Worry We’ll Be Watching You - NA

I didn’t want to comb through to find an episode where Jon says hes being watched. I might move this somewhere else because it’s really slow for the begining of the playlist. Maybe where he went to America

Somebody’s Watching Me - NA

Same as above + memes

Bloody Nose - MAG 17 - PoV Jared Hopworth

the boneturner’s tale statement

Grace For Sale - MAG 39 - PoV Jane Prentiss; S1 Finale

I didn’t know this was part of a whole carnival themed album when I added it, but I felt that the themes of shedding your skin and worms were relevant enough. Still looking for a good song for the s1 finale tho :/

I Don’t Trust You Anymore - MAG 40/41 - PoV Jon

Immediately after the Worm Attack, Jon realizes he can’t trust anyone in the archives.

Losing My Mind - NA - PoV Jon

Jon makes a lot of mentions of his paranoia thruout this season and I feel it just fits best here

Little Pistols - NA - PoV Jon

Same as above, but its like Really Sad because this one paints the paranoia as much more self-destructive.

Afraid - MAG 77 - Multi PoV/Sasha

Jon just realized the NotSasha replaced Sashsa. Could be from Sasha or NotSasha or even Jon realizing the implications a shapeshifting creature, just fkcn love the chorus for the whole NotSasha fiasco

Mr Capgras - MAG 78/79 - Sung by the NotThem

Jon’s a huge idiot and the NotThem is Out For Blood

Bad Bad Things - MAG 80 - PoV Elias; S2 Finale

Bitch boy Murkd Leitner and Gertrude and he’s an asshole for it

Its not overly literal but i think some characters in the song could be interpreted as Leitner and Gertrude, with the POV Elias speaking to Jon.

I’m Not Ok - MAG 81 - PoV Jon

Georgie pls....help this nasty man

The Cult of Dionysus - NA

Honestly this isn’t very specific at all there’s just a lot more cult activity in this season and this song lines up well with the next few

Rejoice - MAG 89 - PoV Jude Perry/Lightless Flame

this ep is jude’s statement and this is a Good cult song

Bust Your Kneecaps - MAG 67 - PoV Agnes Montague

Keeps with the theme better here than in order with s2. Statement of cafe boy who tried to romance Agnes that one time

Are Things Still Burning - MAG 67/89 - PoV Agnes Montague

You’ll get it.

I’m Gonna Win - MAG 101 - PoV Gertrude or Michael

Really connect this song with gertrude’s Bad Bitch energy and MAG 101 is the episode where we really get a scope of how morally gray she is

But the overall cocky tone of the song is real good for Michael

The Distortionist - MAG 101 - PoV Michael

this ep is Michael’s statement.

Its kind of hard to tell because of the vocaloid, but the song's character seems to have been pushed and manipulated into something like Michael. I can see the song shifting from Michael singing about how Gertrude created him into accepting it and them singing at Jon

Has wayyyyy too much Spiral imagery to not include

Seven Devils - MAG111 - PoV Gerard Kaey

this is the ep where Gerard properly explains the fears to Jon

Dirty Night Clowns - MAG 104 - PoV Tim Stoker?

sort of Tim about his brother

Blood End Credits - no MAG/MAG 119 - PoV Tim Stoker

god i miss tim. I don’t think it translates exactly to 119, but it’s more of the climax of his character arch. He’s literally given everything to the Institute and to Elias and now he has to fucking die? FUck.

Greatest Show Unearthed - MAG 139 - PoV Nikola/The Circus

This one is literal lol. u can figure it out

My Time - MAG 120/121 - Sung about Jon

*Mable pines picture* “He’s resting”

Who Are You, Really? - MAG 121 - Sung at/for Jon

Jon has to decide whether to let himself die human or risk becoming a monster to protect the people he loves*

*Martin

Cold Cold Man - MAG 124 - PoV Jon

This is the first time Jon and Martin have seen each other since he woke, and I think really the first time Jon has sought out Martin because he just...wanted to see him

Ruler of Everything - MAG 124 - PoV Martin

This is Martin’s side of the exchange he and Jon had. This is where he started pushing Jon away (Shot as wily one/only friend), and Peter is making him into the “ruler of everything” aka running the Institute, and just doing his best to go one day at a time until whatever Peter has planned gets done

Catabolic Seed - MAG 125 - PoV Melanie

Honestly, I just really wanted this song for melanie. The Magnus Institute is taking too much out of her, making her into a hollow, and she’s just trying to keep herself together with emotional duct tape

Body - MAG 131 Build Up - PoV Jon

I see this as the culmination of Jon’s survival guilt and desperation to make himself worthy of humanity again. Since he has a healing factor now, he has no sense of self-preservation and is willing to sacrifice his entire body to make himself worthy of humaity.

Skeleton Appreciation Day - MAG 131 - PoV Jared Hopworth

THE MEATBONE MANNNN

What Am I Becoming? - MAG 146/147 - PoV Jon

It hurts

in 146 Jon admited to Basira, Daisy, and Melanie confronted him about his live feedings. 147 Jon realises that he doesn’t want to stop feeding

Human - Mag 147/152 - For Jon

Couldn’t decide where this goes chronologically, but these in these two eps jon is seriously debating his humanity and disturbed that he even needs to do that

Isle Unto Thyself - NA

this fits....somewhere in this season. I believe i see this as Jon singing about Martin’s isolation, but really its just applicable to their whole situation

Train Remastered - MAG 154 - PoV Jon

a fukn EASY one FINALLY.

THis bitch is Jon asking Martin to blind himself with Jon so they can run away together. Their romantic arcs got me feeling all sorts of ways

No Eyed Girl - MAG 157

this is so literal lmao its just Melanie and Georgie

Not Human - MAG 158 - About Daisy

She’s spent so long serving the Hunt and trying to undo its power over her, and she really just Did That(tm) for her friends. We stan a werewolf queen

Monster - Many MAGs

honestly can fit Martin, Jon, Melanie and Daisy at different points, but i think its a good end to Daisy’s character arc currently

Ship In A Bottle - MAG 159 - About Martin and Peter

I like to see this as the climax of Martin’s Loneliness and his relationship with Peter as well as like the culmination of Peter’s deal with Elias and Martin’s Deal with Peter

It’s Alright - MAG 159 - To Jon and Martin

Jon Rescued Martin from the Lonely and is finally able to have a purpose and they are allowed to Be Okay

Honeybee - MAG 160 - PoV Jon

WE STAN TRUE LOVE AND SATISFYING ROMANCE IN THIS HOUSEEEEEEE

Great Vacation - Thematic transition

If Honeybee was the first 2 minutes of 160, then we know what’s coming next. The Scottish Cottage isn’t a vacation

Just Did A Bad Thing - MAG 160

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Its the end of the world as we know it - Season 5 trailer

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

#The Magnus Archives spoilers #the magnus archvies #tma #tma s5

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grace-evelyn · 5 years

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Diary entry 2

Tuesday 26th March 2019

Before I start I just want to make sure that everyone is on the same page and has the same understanding about my job and my industry.

I do not need to be saved, I have chosen to work in this industry and in this job. The only hardship I experience from this job is from outsiders judging.

My job does not define me as a person, it does not make me anything other than a young girl who is confident, extroverted and ambitious. I have worked in retail, sales and hospitality and I still do social media management work and sales every now and then.

I do not come from a broken home and I do not have ‘daddy issues’. These stereotypes are so untrue to my industry and ESPECIALLY the club that I work in.

The men that enter my workplace are not all ‘creeps’ and ‘disgusting’, in fact I have met some of the most incredible people through my work place and I have learnt so much from these people too. I enjoy most of my customers company, they are paying for a service, therefore they are respectful of the women they are paying. I have met elite athletes, actors, singers and CEO’s through work. People make the assumption that dirty hobos come into my workplace- but would this kind of person be able to afford $50 for a 10 minute dance? Or $400 for 1 hour of my time? No, hence why my customers are not disgusting and I do not hate dancing for them or talking to them.

LEARNING TO DANCE/ BEING CONFIDENT ON STAGE

When I first got a job as a dancer I was so nervous but I have always been very confident in bathers/ underwear so that part was okay for me. Tbh if you’re not comfortable in your own skin then you shouldn’t even think about this job. I’ve always been an attention whore and I love being on stage and the centre of attention so that helped too. I did dancing when I was in school but I’d never done pole. I had a 2 hour private pole dancing class at pole princess in the city, I learnt about grip, a few basic spins and how to climb the pole. It was really hard and frustrating but I was happy that I at least knew the basics.

My first night I was sooo nervous and I wore the tackiest outfit lol I also hadn’t bought proper pole shoes so I was wearing a pair of cheap lipstick heels all night.

They gave us a few free glasses of champagne which helped me to Loosen up, when it was my turn I felt a lot better and I actually killed it. The girls said I was a little fast but that is super common for baby strippers. After that I felt fine and couldn’t wait to go on again!

It’s super important to watch what the other girls do on stage and to listen to the music. One of the older girls told me that i had a good body so I didn’t need to move too much, I could be more sensual and it didn’t matter about pole tricks. I think my biggest advice is that audience intersection is your best friend!!! I am all about face and looking into customers eyes- this works so well to build a connection with them without even speaking to them.

It definitely takes time and I highly recommend watching YouTube videos on how to pole dance just so you know the basics. Also when it’s quiet that’s the best time to practice

2. HOW IT WORKS

every club is different and has different rules, I am so lucky to work at the best club in Melbourne and possibly even Australia- The Men’s Gallery. We are hired as subcontractors and we pay a house fee to work. On weeknights we pay $80 and on weekends we pay $120. Each club charges different amounts though. At men’s we are a non touching club, which means that men are not allowed to touch us at all (with little exceptions like arms or legs), however there are more and more clubs now that are allowing touching in dances. No, we do not offer ‘extras’ and if there are girls doing this in the club they will be fired on the spot.

We make our money from dances and VIP bookings, dances are 3 minutes for $20, 10 minutes for $50, half an hour shower room for $250 and one hour for $400. We’ve just introduced new VIP rooms so we now have a karaoke room and a shower room which is so fun.

The club doesn’t take a cut from what we make but some clubs do.

3. HIRING PROCESS

Again- every club is different but I have worked at four different clubs so I do have an understanding of the main processes of each club. I am 99% sure that no club will ever make you ‘audition’ on stage. However I have heard rumours of spearmint doing this. Most clubs will just run through a few basic questions like whether you’ve danced before and whether you understand the rules, have pole experience etc. it’s pretty chill. They’ll then ask you to take your clothes off and they’ll take a photo of you in your underwear and that’s pretty much it. At men’s they’ll either hire you on the spot or leave you hanging or give you a trial shift. It is really competitive these days and there are always new girls in and out. They can also fire you with 0 notice for whatever reason they want. If management doesn’t like you then they’ll just stop letting you roster on, this ha the same at every club.

4. THE GIRLS

A lot of people always ask me if it’s really catty/ competitive at men’s and I just want to say that all through school I always struggled to get along well with girls and I hated going to an all girls school. But working at men’s I’ve never had so many female friends and I’ve never felt so welcome and warm in a community of women. It is really like a family. However, it did take me at least a year to feel fully comfortable and confident in the change rooms as it can be very intimidating and loud. As a new dancer you can’t just waltz into the changerooms and expect everyone to be your friend because to be honest we don’t really like any new girls at first. You’re fresh meat and you don’t fully understand how everything works. So it’s a really good idea to lay low until you’re welcomed fully. Try to avoid making friends early as well because you want to focus on hustling and making money and the moment you have friends you get lazy!! Also friends always equal drama, that’s unavoidable and you don’t need that at your work place. Be friendly with everyone but avoid getting too close too soon.

5. TIPS

SAVE YOUR FUCKING MONEY. SAVE IT. JUST DO IT. the money you make when you’re a baby stripper will be the easiest money you’ll ever make so fucking make a savings account and put at least $1000 in a week. That’s easy to do. I only started doing this after a year and I regretted it. I know this is like really shocking but you actually don’t need to go to Nobu 3 times a week or buy expensive cocktails every time you go out. Live like you still make $20 an hour at maccas.

GET AN ACCOUNTANT. I’ll never forget when my mate turned around to me and goes ‘what are taxes??’ This bitch had been working in the industry for over a year. If you’re depositing your cash into the bank every week the ATO is gonna come for you. Get a dodgy ass stripper accountant and pay ur taxes. Also get an ABN.

Some strippers live week by week which I don’t get, the golden rule to saving and making money is to make more money than you spend. So if you’re living like a fukn queen and you have $0 in your bank by the end of the week you need to either roster on for another shift or you need to calm the fuk down on the bags and dinners.

DONT PAY FOR YOUR PARTNER. I learnt this the hard way, I didn’t realise I was spending so much on my ex until I was fully over him. Dinners, presents, tickets, drinks, holidays. Everything. If he guilt trips you into spending your money on him because he doesn’t like what you do then DUMP HIM. your partner should love you for you and understand that your job doesn’t define you as a person. WORK IS WORK. Stop guilt spending, save your cash because you may not even be with this person forever like you think you will be, and I promise you’ll feel like an idiot in the end.

LOVE YOURSELF, TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF. breaks and holidays are a necessity to avoid stripper burnout. Yes that is a thing and yes it will kill you. This job is tough both mentally and physically and it will affect you in the long run. You need to be proactive in taking care of your body and your mind. No that doesn’t mean drinking alcohol or taking drugs to forget, that means going away for a weekend, doing yoga, having a night in, spending time with family.

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teshknowledgenotes · 3 years

Text

JAYZ DECODED NOTES

WHY?

Jay-Z is someone I look up to as a rapper and businessman, I wanted to read this book to gain some insight on his thought process. I found it really cool how he made a deal with LVMH, Louis Vuitton Moet Hennesey.

There were some real talents in Marcy. DJs started setting up sound systems in the project courtyards and me and Jaz and other MCs from around the way would battle one another for hours. It wasn't like that first cipher I saw: the crowds were more serious now and the beat was kept by eight-foot-tall speakers with subwoofers that would rattle the windows of the apartments around us. I was good at battling and I practiced it like a sport. I'd spend free time reading the dictionary, building my vocabulary for battles. I could be ruthless, calm as fuck on the outside, but flooded with adrenaline, because the other rapper was coming for me, too. It wasn't a Marquess of Queensberry situation. I saw people get swung on when the rhymes cut too deep. But mostly, as dangerous as it felt it stayed lyrical. I look back now and it still amazes me how intense those moments were, back when there was nothing at stake but your rep, your desire to be the best poet on the block. I wasn't even in high school yet and I'd discovered by voice. But I still needed a story to tell.

Just like beats and flows work together, rapping and hustling for me at least live through each other. Those early raps were beautiful in their way and a whole generation of us felt represented for the first time when we heard them. But there's a reason the culture evolved beyond that playful, partying lyrical style, and even personally knew the cats who were on the records, the content didn't always reflect the lives we were leading. There was a distance between what was becoming rap's signature style the relentlessness the swagger the complex wordplay and the substance of the songs. The culture had to go somewhere else to grow. It had to come home

. No one hired a skywriter and announced crack's arrival. But when it landed in your hood, it was a total takeover. Sudden and complete. Like losing your man to gunshots. Or your father walking out the door for good. It was an irreversible new reality. What had been was gone, and in its place was a new way of life that was suddenly everywhere and seemed like it had been there forever. Cocaine wasn't new and neither was selling it. There had always been older dudes who grew their pinkie fingernails out to sniff coke. There were always down-low dealers who partied with their customers as they supplied them. Melle Mel had a song called "White Lines (Don't Do It)" and of course Kurtis Blow called himself "Blow". but for the most part doing coke was something that happened at private parties, something you might've of heard about but had never really seen. Crackheads were different. They'd smoke in hallways, on playgrounds, on subway station staircases. They got no respect. They were former neighbors, "aunts" and "uncles" but once they start smoking, they were simply crackheads, the lowest on the food chain in the jungle, worse than prostitutes and almost as bad as snitches.

Most of these fiends were my parents' age or a little younger. They had no secrets. Skeletal and ashy, they were as jittery as rookie beat cops and their eyes were always spinning with schemes to get money for the next hit. Kids my age were serving them. And these new little kamikazes, who simply called themselves hustlers (like generations before us did), were everywhere stacking their ones. Fuck waiting for the city to pass out summer jobs. I wasn't even a teenager yet and suddenly everyone I knew had pocket money. And better. When Biggie rhymed about how things done changed he could've meant from one summer to the next. It wasn't a generational shift but a generational split. Look at our parents, they even fukn scared of us. With that line, Big captured the whole transformation in a few words, Authority was turned upside down. Guys my age fed up with watching their moms struggle on a single income, were paying utility bills with money from hustling. So how could those same mothers sit them down about a truant report? Outside in Marcy's courtyard and across the country, teenagers wore automatic weapons like they were sneakers. Broad-daylight shootouts had our grandmothers afraid to leave the house, and had neighbors who'd known us since we were toddlers forming Nieghborhood Watches against us. There was a seperation of style, too. Hip-hop was already moving fashion out of the disco clubs and popularizing rugged streetwear, but we'd take it even futher: baggy jeans and puffy coats to stash work and weapons, construction boots to survive cold winter nights working on the streets. As an MC I still loved rhyming for the sake of rhyming purely for the aesthetics of the rhyme itself -- the challenge of moving around couplets and triplets, stacking double entendres, speed rapping. If it hadn't been for hustling I could've been working on being the best MC, technically to ever touch a mic. Btu when I git the streets for real, it altered my ambition. I finally had a story to tell. And I felt obligated, above all, to be honest about that experience. That ambition defined my work from my first album on. Hip-hop had described poverty in the ghetto and painted pictures of violence and thug life, but I was interested in something a little different: the interior space of a young kid's head, his psychology. Thirteen year old kids don't wake up one day and say "Okay I just wanna sell drugs on my mother's stoop, hustle on my block till I'm so hot people want to come look for me and start shooing out my mom's living room windows" Trust me no one wants to wake up in the morning and wants to do that. To tell the story of the kid with the gun without telling the story of why he has it is to tell a kind of lie. To tell the story of the pain without telling the story of the rewards the money, the girls, the excitement is a different kind of evasion. To talk about killing people dead without talking about waking up in the middle of the night from a dream about the friend you watched die, or not getting to sleep in the first place because you're so paranoid from the work you're doing, is a lie so deep it's criminal. I wanted to tell stories and boast, to entertain and to dazzle with creative rhymes, but everything I said had to be rotted in the truth of that experience. I owed it to all the hustlers I met or grew up with who didn't have a voice to tell their own stories and to myself.

This is why the hustler's story through hip-hop has connected with a global audience. The deeper we get into those sidewalk cracks and into the mind of the young hustler trying to find his foturne there, the closer we get to the ultimate human story the story of struggle with is what defines us all. One of Big's genius lines wasn't even a rhyme it was in the ad lib to "Juicy" his first big hit:

Yeah, this album is dedicated to all the teachers that told me I'd never amount to nothin, to all the people that lived above the buildings that I was hustlin in front of that called the police on me when I was just tryin to make some money to feed my daughters and all the niggas in the struggle

I loved that he describe what a lot of hustlers were going through in the streets dissed and feared by teachers and parents and neighbors and cops, broke, working a corner to try to get some bread for basic shit as more than some glamorous alternative to having a real job. Our struggle wasn't organized or even coherent. There were no leaders of this "movement". There wasn't even a list of demands. Our struggle was truly a something out of nothing do or die situation. The fucked up thing was that it led some of us to sell drugs on our own blocks and get caught up in the material spoils of that life. It was definitely different, less easily defined, less pure and harer to celebrate that a simple call for revolution. But in their way, Biggie's words made an even more desperate case for some kind of change. Che was coming from the perspective "We deserve these rights, we are ready to lead" We were coming from the perspective, "We need some kind of opportunity, we are ready to die" The connections between the two kinds of struggles weren't necessarily clear to me yet, but they were on my mind. Being misunderstood is almost a badge of honor in rap. Growing up as a black kid from the projects, you can spend your whole life being misunderstood, followed around department stores, looked at funny, accused of crimes you didn't commit, accused of motivations you don't have, dehumanized until you realized one day it's not aobut you. It's about perceptions people had long before you even walked onto the scene. The joke's on them because th're really just fighting phantoms of their own creation.

From the first time I rapped the line you like Dom, maybe this Cristal will change your life on my first album, hip hop has raised the profile of Cristal. No one denies that. But we were unpaid endorsers of the brand which we thought was okay, because it was a two-way street. We used their brand as a signifier of luxury and they got free advertising and credibility every time we mentioned it. But they didn't see it that way.

A journalist at The Economict asked Frederic Rouzaud the managing director of the company that makes Cristal: "Do you think your brand i hurt by its association with the "bling lifestyle?" This was Rouzaud's reply: "That's a good question but what can we do? We can't forbid people from buying it" He also said that he looked on the association between Cristal and hip-hop with "curiosity and serenity" The economist printed the quote under the heading Unwelcome Attention.

That was like a slap in the face. You can argue all you want about Rouzaud's statements and trry to justify them or whatever, but the tone is clear. When asked about an influential segment of his market, his response was essentially well we can't stop them from drinking it. That was it for me. I released a statement saying that I would never drink Cristal or promote it in any way or serve it at my clubs ever again. I felt like this was the bullshit I'd been dealing with forever, this kind of offhanded, patronizing disrespect for the culture of hip-hop.

When people all over started drinking Cristal at clubs when Cristal became a household name among young consumers it wasn't because of anything Cristal had done. It was because of what we'd done. If Cristal had understood this dynamic they never would've been so dismissive. The truth is we didn't need them to tolerate us with "curiosity and serenity". In fact we didn't need them at all.

There's a knee-jerk fear in America that someone especially someone young and black is coming to take your shit fuck up your brand destroy the quality of your life, tarnish the things you love. But in hip hop despite all the brand shout-outs the truth is, we don't want your shit. We came out of the generation of black people who fainlly got the point: No one's going to help us. So we went for self, for family, for block, for crew which sounds selfish, it's one of the criticisms hustlers and rappers both get, that we're hypercapitalists, concerned only with the bottom line and enriching ourselves. But it's just a rational response to the reality we faced. No one was going to help us. Not even our fathers stuck around. People who looked just like us were gunning for us. Weakness and dependence made you a mark, like a dope fiend. Success would only mean self-sufficiency, being a boss not a dependent. The competition wasn't about greed or not just about greed. It was about survival.

Back in the eighties and early nineties cities in this country were literally backgrounds. Kids were as well armed as paramilitary outfit in a small country. Teenagers had Uzis, German Glocks, and assault rifles and we had the accessories too like scopes and silencers. Guns were easier to get in the hood than public assistance. There were times when the voilence just seemed like background music like we'd all gone numb.

The deeper causes of the crack explision were in policies concoted by a government that was hostile to us, almost genocidally hostile when you think about how they aided or tolerated the unleashing of guns and drugs on poor communities, while at the same time cutting back on schools, housing, and assistance programs. And to top it all off they threw in the so called war on drugs, which was really a war on us. There were racist new laws put on the books, like the drug laws that penalized the possesion of crack cocaine with more severe sentences than the possession of powder. Three strike laws could put young guys in jail for twenty five years for non-violent crimes. The diseas of addiction was treated as a crime. The rate of incarceration went through the roof. Police abuses and corruption were rampant. Across the country, cops were invovled in the drug trade playing both sides. Young black men in New York in the eighties and nineties were gunned down by cops for the lightest suspected offenses, or died in custody under suspicious circumstances. And meanwhile we were killing ourselves by the thousands.

Almost twenty years after the fact, there are studies that say between 1989 and 1994 more black men were murdered in the streets of America than died in the entire Vietnam War. America did not want to talk about the human damage or the deeper causes of the carnage. But then here came rap, like the American nightmare come to life. The disturbing shit you thought you locked away for good, buried at the bottom of the ocean, suddenly materialized in your kid's bedroom, laughing it off, cursing loud, and grabbing its nuts, refusing to be ignored anymore. I'm America's worst nightmare, I'm young black and holding my nuts like shh-yeah. Hardcore rap wasn't political in an explicit way, bt its volume and urgency kept a story alive that a lot of people would have preferred to disappear. Our story. It scared a lot of people.

When the politicians can't censor you and the industry can't marginalize you call the cops. The statistics on the incarceration of black men, particulary of men of my generation are probably the most objective indication that young black men are seen in this country as a "problem" that can be made to literally disappear. No one in the entire world not in Russia or China or Iran is locked up like black men are locked up in this country.

I had to deal with the cops when I was hustling and that made sense. I had to ddeal with the cops before that too, because even before I started running the streets, I was on their radar just because of who I was. But when I was done with the streets and done with my one major brush with law enforcement after I left the streets, I still wasn't done with five-oh.

I got followed by hip hop cops for seven years but I sill have to ask myself why. Rappers as a class are not engaged in anything criminal. They're musicians. Some rappers and friends of rappers commit crimes. Some bus drivers commit crimes. Some accountants commit crimes. But there aren't task forces devoted to bus drivers or accountants. Bus drivers don't have to work under the preemptive suspicion of law enforcement. The difference is obvious, of course: Rappers are young black men telling stories that the police, among others don't want to hear. Rappers tend to come from places where police are accustomed to treating everybody like a suspect. The general style of rappers is offensive to a lot of people. But being offensive is not a crime, at least not one that's on the books. The fact that law enforcement treats rap like organized crime tells you a lot about just how deeply rap offends some people they'd love for rap itself to be a crime, but until they get that law passed, they come after us however they can. I was never on that nationalistist tip as an MC, but MCs I looked up to, like Rakim, Kane, and Cube, whatever their politics were unambiguously black, with no concession to any other standard of appearance. They didn't hate themselves. They knew how to be strong and stylish but stay black in a way that wasn't self-conscious or contrived. Just by being true to who they were, they obliterated the ideal of the light skinned singer with the S-curl which for a lot of kids of my generation took the edge off the kind of color consciousness that's always lurking for black people in America. Even when hip-hop aired some of the ongoing colorism among black people like Biggie rapping that he was black and ugly as ever the point is that we were airing it out, not weeping it under the rug and letting it drive us crazy trying to pretend it idn't exist. Just one more way that hip-hop kept us sane.

For my pops it was just as important to take in places as people. He wanted me to know my own neighborhood inside out. When we'd go to visit my aunt and uncle and counsins my father would give me the responsibility of leading, even though I was the youngest. When I was walking with him, he always walked real fast (he said that way if someone's following you, they'll lose you) and he expected me to not only keep up with him but to remember the details of the things I was passing. I had to know which bodega sold luandry detergent and who only stocked candy and chips, which bodega was owned by Puerto Ricans and which one was run by Arabs, who taped pictuers of themselves holding Aks to the Plexiglas where they kept the loose candy.

He was teaching me to be confident and aware of my surroundings. There's no better survival skill you could teach a boy in the ghetto and he did it demonstratively, not by sitting me down and saying "Yo always look around at where you are", but by showing me. Without necessarily meaning to, he taught me how to be an artist.

You could name practically any problem in the hood and there'd be a rap song for you. The hip hop generation never gets credit for it, but those songs changed things in the hood. They were political comentary but they weren't based on theory or books. They were based on reality on close observation of the world we grew up in. The songs weren't moralistic but they created a stigma around certain kinds of behaviours just by describing them truthfully and with clarity. One of the thing we corrected was the absent-father karma our fathers' generation's created. We made it some real bitch shit to bounce on your kids. Big mixing rage with double entendre (pop duke left ma uke, the faggot took the back way), we as a generation made it shameful to not be there for your kids. The burden of poverty isn't just that you don't always have the things you need, it's the feeling of being embarrassed every day of your life, and you'd do anything to lift that burden. As kids we didn't complain about being poor, we talked about how rich we were going to be and made moves to get the lifestyle we aspired to by any means we could. And as soon as we had a little money we were eager to show it.

I watched the coverage of Hurricane Katrina but it was painful. Helicopters swooping over rooftops with people begging to be rescued the helicopters would leave with a dramatic photo, but didn't bother to pick up the person on the roof. George Bush doing his flyby and declaring that the head of FEMA was doing a heckuva job. The news media would show a man running down the street, arms piled high with diapers or bottles of water, and call him a looter with no context for why he was doing what he was doing. I'm sure there were a few idiots stealing plasma Tvs, but even that has a context anger, trauma. It wasn't like they were stealing TVs so they could go home and watch the game. I mean, where were they going to plug them shits in? As the days dragged on and images got worse and worse old ladies in wheelchairs dying in fron of the Superdome I kept thinking to myself. This can't be happening in a wealthy country. Why isn't anyone doing anything?

To some degree charity is a racket in a capitalist system, a way of making our obligations to one another optional, and of keeping poor people feeling a sense of indebtedness to the rich, even if the rich spend every other day exploiting those same people. The highest level of giving is giving in a way that makes the receive self-sufficient.

Of course I do sometimes like to see where the money I give goes. When I went to Angola for the water project I was working on and got to see the new water pump and how it changed the lives of the people in that village, I wasn't happy because I felt like I'd done something so great. I was happy ot know that whatever money I'd given was actually being put to work and not just paying a seven figure salary for the head of the Red Cross.

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