#barnaby: so about eddie-

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ayyy im back with another Unedited human au snippet <3 it's almost entirely dialogue oopsies <3

~

Eddie slows in putting his coat on - Barnaby isn’t sticking around to chat with fellow staff like usual. He’s in a rush, scrambling to grab his jacket and hurrying from behind the bar. He dashes through the door, looking like a man on a mission.

The door Mr. Frankly had just vanished through. 

Could he be…? No, Barnaby seems like a good man. But he had seemed a little pushy with Mr. Frankly, from what Eddie could tell. 

It couldn’t hurt to make sure.

Eddie frowns deeply as he goes outside, wincing slightly at the first burst of cold air after hours spent in a warm building. He’s just in time to see Barnaby jog up behind Frankly and close his car door before he can get in. Barnaby immediately leans against the door with his arms crossed, pinning it shut and blocking Frankly from the driver’s seat.

Eddie’s stomach plummets. Before he knows it, he’s speed-walking across the parking lot towards them, a fire burning in his chest and his hands curled into fists.

Frankly says something loud enough that Eddie can almost hear, his voice echoing in the empty lot. As Eddie watches, Barnaby pokes Frankly’s chest, making him stagger back a step.

“Hey!” Eddie barks. 

Both of them jump and whip around - Barnaby’s eyebrows shoot into his hair, while Frankly’s lowers into a flat line. 

“Eddie?” Barnaby says.

At the same time, Frankly says, “Mr. Dear?”

The two of them look at each other in surprise. Eddie pays the exchange no mind. He stops by Frankly, trying to slightly angle himself in front of him without making it too obvious.

“Is everything all right here?” he asks, looking Barnaby up and down. He really hopes this won’t come to blows - Eddie can throw a punch well enough, but Barnaby is an imposing figure. Eddie already knows he’d likely lose, but as long as he can buy Frankly a couple extra seconds…

“No, actually, everything is not fine,” Frankly says in a ticked-off - and strangely scolding - tone. 

Barnaby, not breaking eye-contact with Frankly, counters with, “Everything’s peachy, Ed.”

“You sure about that?” Eddie asks, trying to keep his tone amicable. 

“Scout’s honor.”

“Please,” Frankly scoffs, “you were never a boy scout. And that’s not the point - I am trying to get home!”

“You are trying to die in the most avoidable way possible.”

Eddie shoots Frankly a concerned look. “You’re what?”

“I am perfectly sober,” Frankly says.

Barnaby raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “Your face is flushed.”

“It is not!”

Eddie winces. “It, uh, it is. A little.”

“It’s none of your business,” Frankly seethes. 

“Listen,” Barnaby sighs. He leans heavier against the car and rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t wanna be the one 'ta call Julie and deliver the news that her beloved Frankie went and got himself killed at the taco bell intersection.”

Frankly makes a high and derisive noise. “Excuse you, I have class. I’d die outside of Howdy’s.”

“Please, he’d turn your memorial into part of the gift shop. I can already see the signs - ‘dead friend sale, five percent off!’”

“I’m worth at least thirty percent.”

Eddie clears his throat and gestures between the two of them. “You two… know each other?”

“Unfortunately,” Frankly mutters.

Barnaby grins. “Aw, you’re just saying that. It’s okay - I know ya love me, Frankie. You don’t have to say it.”

“I do not.”

“I have evidence that proves otherwise.”

Frankly rolls his eyes. “You’re unbearable.”

“And yet…”

Eddie heaves a sigh - of relief or exhaustion, he’s not sure - and drags a hand over his face. “Alright. Good, I - good to know.”

“What, did’ja think I was attacking him?” After a moment of prolonged, awkward silence, Barnaby’s teasing smile drops. “Oh. You did.”

“Barnaby? Attack me?” Frankly snorts. “Give him some credit - he’s smarter than he looks.”

“Yeah, I’d have better chances taking on a pack’a hyenas!” Barnaby lets out a hearty cackle. “At least then we’d all get a laugh out of it!”

“So I misjudged the situation pretty terribly,” Eddie says, inching to the side to give Frankly his personal space back. “My apologies.”

“Don’t sweat it, Ed. I know Frank may look like a bundle of sticks, but he’s petrified wood all the way through! Pure stone, you know.” Barnaby grins and leans towards Eddie. He whispers conspiratorially, “‘Cept when it comes to holdin’ his liquor. Then he’s a total lightweight.”

“Barnaby,” Frankly hisses.

“Practically paper!”

“That’s enough, thank you!” Frankly makes an attempt at shoving Barnaby away from the car door, but Barnaby widens his stance. It’s like watching someone try to move a tree.

“See, this is how I know he shouldn’t be driving,” Barnaby says conversationally to Eddie. “If he were sober, I’d be the one drunk - punch-drunk, that is.”

Eddie isn’t sure whether or not he should laugh - was that a joke? Barnaby seems fond of them, but… surely Frankly isn’t a violent person. Frankly lets out a growl of frustration and clumsily tries to bodyslam Barnaby. Eddie inches back a step.

“Alright Frankie, you had your fun.” Barnaby scruffs Frankly like a misbehaving cat and holds him at arm's length. He holds out a hand. “C’mon. Keys.”

“Never.”

“Have it your way. I’ll go ahead and call Poppy, tell her that you’ve forgotten the many dangers of-”

“Oh, fine,” Frankly spits. He yanks his keys out of his pocket and slaps them into Barnaby’s waiting hand. 

Barnaby flicks the keys as Frankly stalks to the passenger side door and yanks it open. “Choose a place for dinner, we’ll swing by and pick it up - my treat.”

“Obviously your treat,” Frankly grumbles. “As if I’d-”

The slam of his door cuts off whatever he says next, though Eddie can see him still talking in the car. His phone screen illuminates his irritated expression as he - presumably - looks up places for takeout. 

“Well, I’m glad you were here to stop him from doin’ somethin’ everyone would regret,” Eddie says. “Mr. Frankly-” 

“Mr. Frankly?” Barnaby snorts. “You’re not one of his students, are ya?”

“I’m just bein’ polite. He set the tone by referrin’ to me by Mr. Dear, so I’m tryin’ to respect that line in the sand.”

Barnaby shakes his head, grinning. “Just call him Frank. He puts up a big show of bein' a grouch, but he’s really a big softie. Though don’t - don’t try to pick a fight with him. Ever. You’ll lose.”

“Wasn’t plannin' on it.” Eddie makes a mental note to keep calling him Mr. Frankly, just to be on the safe side. It’s not like they’re friends, anyway. More like… acquaintances. Occasional Run-Into-Each-Other strangers. 

#shorter than usual - only a little over 1k - but yk the motivation provides what it provides #in my docs this is titled 'aw... babe's first protective attempt' #or i guess we could call it #eddie's past parasocial relationships come back to haunt him more than they already have #also barnaby definitely teased frank about eddie in whatever place they're picking up food from #lmaoooo no wait #barnaby: so about eddie- #frank: so about howdy. #barnaby: ..... #frank: ..... #barnaby: hey i think that's our order #wh modern human au #snippets from the bog #in my mind frank is actually kinda pleased #annoyed of course. he doesnt need anyone to protect him #but i bet a part of him enjoyed having the strong mailman attempt to ~come to his rescue~ #i imagine that the next time they see each other frank invites him to lunch or somethin #'just' to 'thank' eddie for trying his best #yep alright yawn yawn yawn its almost 3 i should sleep #tomorrow is one of two final days to complete packing! its almost Time! #tonight was decent... got some tasty tacos... listened to somethin neat... did a bit of writing... yeah <3

[mobileleprechaun]

Welcome Home Homewarming Update Moodboard™

#welcome home #welcome home update #welcome home spoilers #wally darling #eddie dear #barnaby b beagle #disturbing #cursed image #so... how are we feeling about all this. #cuz uhhhh. #yeah

[clownsuu]

i do think it’s quite thoughtful that even though all your men are whores, you still don’t draw anything that would make clown uncomfortable. love the aus btw

There is a fine line between sus and normal stuff- it ain’t hard to be able to make conventionally attractive characters and not make them do anything spicy or even allude to it. There is like this weird expectation that if a character is very attractive, they must be a complete sus magnet LMAO

Though idk how (other) clown would feel that iv started the trend of their child Howdy being buff as shid JDHGDDHDJD-

#He must be so confused about it LMAOOO #if he ever says anything about it I would apologize profusely to him smhhh #welcome home #welcome home howdy #welcome home barnaby #welcome home frank #welcome home wally #welcome home eddie #welcome home sally #howdy pillar #barnaby b beagle #frank Frankly #Wally darling #sally starlet #eddie dear #i wanna draw more normal non au character stuff but I am fresh outta ideas JDHHFHDH #Mostly cause there is a big boom in au creation and it feels a little overwhelming atm #It’s very predictable that this would happen but still smhh #Next thing I post will definitely just be normal stuff- maybe more Wally and howdy per usual #Dunno tho #just have to wait and see what my motivation is JDHDH #Welcome home mob au #I keep almost forgetting to put that tag every time KDJHFHDDHH

[pawfulofwaffles]

Nhnhnhn holidays

It’s very snowy, Eddie better be careful delivering mail…

(In the first picture, since it’s hard to read, Frank is saying “Happy Hanukkah” and Howdy is saying “Merry Christmas” and their exclamations are colliding, so they just go with “Happy Holidays” instead)

#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home arg #welcome home puppet arg #howdy pillar #barnaby b beagle #frank frankly #eddie dear #julie joyful #sally starlet #oh yeah ignore the random note at the top that says “fragile masculinity” #I usually write down funny things that happen in class #one of the kids in English called a book character a loser for not wanting to fight #The English teacher went “that tells more about your fragile masculinity than it does about the book character's personality” #he's the best english teacher to deal with highschoolers lol #also Barnaby and Howdy are more fluffy because winter coat #and Sally is a bit more fluffed because #i say so #happy holidays #WAIT POPPY'S HERE TOO SORRY POPPY #poppy partridge #AND SUNNY #sunny welcome home #sunny songbird #my art #pawfulofdoodles

[xraytheredx]

It's been such a long time since I've fallen so hard for a project. All the work put into Welcome Home so far has been so vibrant and amazing, and things are just getting started! Of course I had to draw something for it! 😊💖 (Several somethings, to be more accurate! XD)

#raysartwork #8-bit art #pixel art #welcome home #wally darling #julie joyful #frank frankly #sally starlet #eddie dear #barnaby b beagle #howdy pillar #poppy partridge #I had quite a time trying to figure out what heights they all were; in the end I had to really dig through Clown's archives for help >w> #And of course each had their own hurdles #Like Sally's sleeves and Frank's vest #Howdy really gave me a run for my monopoly money though XD #So many arms to work with; only felt fitting to have him advertising his wares! #I have more waiting in the wings but let me know what you guys think of these first >///< #Been a little nervous about interacting more in fandoms

[indecisive-dizzy]

I've been thinking about Frank again and it lead me to remember how Bad he is at chess. So here are my Neighborhood Chess headcanons! 🏠♟️

Frank - Horrible at chess, takes forever to make a move, constantly overthinking, but can recite the textbook rules word for word.

Julie - God at chess. The Chess Master, Undefeated Champion (Chesspion?). She's only ever lost One game and it was against Jonesy back in the cave. They don't talk about it.

Barnaby - Knows how to play chess but would rather mess with the other player (Frank) and use slight of hand to steal/replace pieces on the board. Good at chess while cheating, decent without.

Howdy - Knows how to play chess but always tries to make trades/offers to the other player to swindle a win. "My pawn for your knight! What do ya say?" Is decent at chess but impatient and breaks the rules.

Eddie - Forgot how to play chess, completely wings it. The first time he played with Frank he felt bad when he won. He had literally just copied Frank's moves for half the game because he didn't know what he was doing. Still feels bad when he wins against Frank. Bad at chess but only because he doesn't remember how to play. Would be decent if he remembered.

Wally - Julie taught him how to play chess. Takes a while to move but unlike Frank there's a benefit. Is very quiet when playing. Says "That's the Most!" everytime he wins. Good at chess.

Poppy - Very anxious when playing. Has trouble moving the pieces but makes her moves as fast as possible to get the game over with. Gets overwhelmed, is bad at chess.

Sally - Pretends to be Very good at chess, the best even, practically invented it! Is actually mediocre. She turns the game into a dramatic tale everytime. Monologues over every piece she loses and makes up a piece of story with every move. No one wants to play chess with her except Wally and Julie. Frank only does so because he is determined to win One game of chess and Sally is second worst. She lost to Eddie once and never played chess with him again.

Home - Can't play without assistance. What do you expect he's a house? Houses don't have hands, silly! If someone (Wally) helps move the pieces he's good at chess. No one knows where Home learned how to play chess. Somehow still beats Frank even if no one helps.

#Frank would be a sore winner if he ever won anything #i just know it #Howdy would also try to sell pieces. There is no benefit except Profit #Barnaby doesn't cheat with Julie Wally or Home #Julie bc he's not stupid. Wally bc he cant do that to his best friend. Home bc Home. #Yes he would cheat with Howdy. Its the funniest most absurd game of chess bc Barn is still immune to scammers #Eddie doesn't like playing chess with Frank because of the guilt #he genuinely is so lost the whole time as Frank agonizes about Eddie's “strategy” #bby there is no strategy. Hes just confused. #welcome home #frank frankly #julie joyful #barnaby b beagle #howdy pillar #eddie dear #wally darling #poppy partridge #sally starlet #wh home #typing out loud

[grieving-angel-hopeful-demon]

Ok, got references for how I want to draw the squad

#poppy Partridge #howdy pillar #barnaby b beagle #eddie dear #frank frankly #julie joyful #sally starlet #wally darling #wh #welcome home #poppy was so hard #like i tried to do that fun gradient #but noooooo #combined a lot of other people's stylizations that i like #also wanted to get the height differences down so... #that's why wally only takes up about 10% of his canvas #silly puppets #my creations

[randommusicalfluff]

Eddie tickles because I think he deserves to be a little silly in these trying times 🫶🏾🫶🏾

#mango art #tickling #tickle #tickle art #tickle community #tickles #my art #welcome home tickles #welcome home tickle #welcome home tickling #Lee!eddie #Lee!eddie dear #implied Ler! howdy and Barnaby lol #I think about him so often he’s so silly

[nastylillad]

Hear me out, Barnaby in just a collar and thigh highs

hes lying he loves it

#playfellowxxx #i wasnt expecting so many people to ask about barnaby #or frank #i get zero asks for wally or howdy (minus one i got earlier this week) #or even eddie #but those two fruits? most popular #damn…. #i mean i draw howdy the most anyway but because i stuff nina in there (or have her get stuffed AYO) #anyway #:o) #lmao #also suprise molly and howdy visit #molly claims shes never done this before (she has) #aggressive little shit #howdy just likes to watch barnaby squirm LMAO

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hold on. i just wanted to see their height difference and. and hold on-

ill probably clean this up & do the other neighbors but ohhhhh my god. hes SMALL!!!!!! TWELVE! APPLES! (bg Home included to see if Barnaby would be able to fit through the front door. nope<3)

#im imagining barnaby leaning against home's roof while home repeatedly hits him with the side window #(it does nothing) #ANYWAY SO YEAH WALLY TINY. SMALL MAN #since the only info we have on heights is that wally is 3ft (twelve apples) and julie/sally are just a smidge taller than him #then frank/eddie are 4 ft #and then howdy/barnaby/poppy are all 7-8 ft #since theyre a bit vaguer im currently hc-ing that barnaby is the shortest at 7'9 while poppy is a solid 8 ft and howdy is between them #that still leaves barnaby as an absolute BEHEMOTH #scribble salad #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #okay. okay okay okay im so anormal about this #because i fucking Love height differences ok #whether its platonic or romantic or WHATEVER I AM WEAK TO IT. ITS MY FAVORITE THING #just a big person and their little guy. a little person and their big guy. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #barnaby can hold wally like a ferret. wally can probably hide under barnaby's fluffy ears. im losing it #also the character heights are probably different than the physical puppet heights #since in the official art they all seem to have consistent size/height differences that slightly contradict their heights #which makes sense!! the big guys have walkarounds And live hands to keep em in frame with the smaller guys after all #(unless that info is a lie and there Are no different puppets bc theyre all alive and autonomous maybe but also hmmm Thinking) #still. wally is. so small #also its gonna amuse me when humans come into play #bc its like oh no!!! the puppets are all 3-4 ft tall! so tiny and vulnerable! #and then barnaby & howdy & poppy show up- #they could absolutely wreck humans. like fuck dude. theyre Huge. #id shit. just saying. if a near-8-ft-tall four armed four legged caterpillar man showed up id Pass Away On the Spot #i would say No Thanks and then Die Instantly #great now im picturing julie screeching THEY CANT STOP US ALL and then the smaller puppets swarm a person #so true queen <3 they Cant stop you all <3 especially when you have a huge fuckoff dog backing yall up

[w1tchcr4ftt]

OH MY DEAR EVERYTHING! TO EVERYONE WHO VOICES THE INCREDIBLE PUPPETS I LOVE ON WELCOME HOME WELL DONE! *BARNABY SOUNDS SO EXACTLY LIKE A FIGURED I LOVE THE BABIES AHHH

#I’m so happy rn #i’m sobbing #I wanna put them in a washing machine #I will never be normal about the silly puppet #ahhhhhh #w1tch.txt #welcome home #barnaby b beagle #eddie dear #frank frankly #home welcome home #julie joyful #wally darling #poppy partridge #sally starlet

[von-posts-stuff]

Miscellaneous doodles! Hugs all around!

#von does art #these are very rough #but also very fun #hugs all around #everyone needs a hug #look at limp Wally is #Frank looks so disgruntled he’s adorable #unsure about the Barnaby design but I tried my best #artwork #digital art #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #wally darling #frank frankly #eddie dear #barnaby b beagle #I love these puppets so much

[gay-ppl-real]

I finished this days ago and was too nervous to post LMAO, but I finally did it! Even if it cost me my plans to actually go to bed on time for once

Fic where Frank writes Eddie a letter to express his affections, but there's some minor barriers on the way because Eddie has never been the RECIPIENT of a letter before, and Frank has phrased his confession somewhat... uniquely.

Wee note! (RE: pronouns for Frank)

I used he/they (he/him preferred) for Frank in this, where previously I've just used he/him. I know Frank is enby and I fucking love that!! But, as an enby, people defaulting to using they/them just because you're non-binary is a HUGE pet peeve of mine even though they/them are MY pronouns ashdfbhjsadf. Frank uses exclusively he/him in the ARG so far, so that's previously what I'd used. However there's some asks from Clown's blog where they/them are used for Frank too, so NOW (since seeing those), until we get further notice, I'm going to interpret that as he/they with a preference to he/him :) I will probably go back through previous fics and adjust his pronouns accordingly soon, because we stand by the right of enbies to have their full gender experience articulated on this here blog

#innisart #welcome home arg #welcome home fanfic #wally darling #eddie dear #frank frankly #barnaby b beagle #julie joyful #frank x eddie #mentioned this in the notes of the fic #but while proofreading I repeatedly stopped to happy stim and say to myself “that's so cute. that's so cute. that's so cute!” #so #TARGET AUDIENCE: REACHED!!! #But oh boy I sure hope other people enjoy this as much as I do #Where's that post talking about how you can write for yourself but still hope other people like what you made LOL

[mandoholyhell]

I want to see what happened to howdy pillar

Howdy: Alright you gave me the shot, now get the hell out

Eddie: Uhh o-ok…

(I’m going feral over them)

Bonus underneath!

Wally: Hi, Frank. What are you doing?

Frank: Damn Howdy fizzed up my baby girl, so I’m giving him a quick ‘visit’

Wally(off-screen): Here, this may help you

Frank: Aww, thank you Wall-

Frank: !

Wally: And tell Howdy I said Hello.

#wally darling #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #fanart #welcome home fanart #welcome home house #wh fanart #welcome home wally #barnaby b beagle #eddie dear #eddie x frank #welcome home howdy #howdy pillar #wh howdy #IM FERAL #also sorry for not posting #I’ve been horribly anxious for a while #might need to see someone about that #also someone deflated my tires so that sucked

[notbenjammin]

WE GOT FED GOOD

Me and Wally were getting ready for the update and OMGGGG ITS AMAZING THE TIME EFFORT AND LOVE PUT INTO THIS PROJECT AHHHHHH THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT ASPIRE TO BE AND THE SECRET AAAAHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE IT SO MUCH MAN

(Spoilers in tags)

#welcome home arg #welcome home #wally darling #eddie my poor dear eddie man #listen listen LISTENNN #isn't it a coincendence he spaces out on the same couch barnaby's fur is on #well at least i think so #THAT COUCH WILLBE IMPORTANT LATER TRUST ME BRO #ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO #I FEEL LIKE HOME IS THE FIRST ONE TO REALIZE HES A PROP #EDDIE REALIZES BECAUSE HES NOT DISTRACTED BY HIS USUAL MAILMAN ACTIVITIES AND HOME? #GURL HE AINT GOT NOTHIN TO DO ALL DAY BUT THATS JUST A THEORY #also i like it when eddie gets mad anywhoo #and THEY WERE RIGHT ABOUT WARNING US ABOUT THE DREALIZATION #MAN MY HEARTBEAT AND BREATHING WERE GETTING QUICK LIKE DAMMMM #POOR WALLY I THINK HES ALL ALONE WITH HOME #PERSONALLY I DONT THINK EITHER ARE VILLAINS

[midnighthybrid2]

(Ok random thing that you’ll leave up to interpretation!)

The welcome home characters as professors at hogwarts basic headcanons? Like what kind of class would each of them be teaching? (Frank would be the next Snape there you cannot say that wouldn’t happen.)

(Maybe if you would like to what kind of house would each of them be in, again leaving that for you to make the user’s interpretation).

Helllloooo! This was an incredibly fun prompt to think about, thank you for sending it in! I’d love to do some more Welcome Home-Harry Potter crossover stuff in the future, actually, if you have any more ideas!

There’s no particular order to these, but I tried to make them make as much sense as I could.

Enjoy! This is gonna be real long, so strap yourself in!

Welcome Home Characters as Professors/Staff at Hogwarts

Julie Joyful - 100% Herbology (Hufflepuff). Julie would 100% be the Herbology professor- she’s described as having a garden of her own and able to talk to plants, after all. I imagine this would translate to her having a very close connection to the plants- students are unsure if she’s actually talking to them, or if she’s just really good at telling when a plant needs more water or new soil. I imagine she’d be a little bit of an airhead at times, probably misplacing any physical homework assignments (like essays) or even sometimes forgetting to lock up the greenhouses at night! She’s probably found a magical creature inside, eating some of her plants, on several occasions. Definitely has had to call Professor Frankly over to help her get them out! She’s better with hands-on assignments, and I imagine she'd be a very encouraging and kind professor.

Frank Frankly - Care of Magical Creatures (Ravenclaw). Oh I agree 100%, he’d be the Snape of this cast. This reminded me of the Potter Puppet Pals Snape puppet- he even has the unibrow and nose- and now I can’t get that voice out of my head when I picture Frank. Frank would be the harshest of the teachers and would be incredibly strict during all of his lessons. His class would be a mixture of hands-on learning and note-taking (so.. much… note taking…). It’s clear to anyone with eyes just how passionate Professor Frankly is about his subject, especially with how he tends to go into passionate, verbose speeches about the biology of the Bowtruckle (for example). This, unfortunately, tends to make him the target of the more rambunctious students who find his overreactions to disrespect quite funny. He’s the professor that sends most students to detention. Despite his grouchy demeanor, Professor Frankly is known to be good friends with Professor Joyful, much to every student’s surprise. They gossip in the teacher’s lounge.

Eddie Dear - Groundskeeper (Hufflepuff). Okay okay hear me out. Despite having a whole arts and crafts teaching segment, Eddie doesn’t entirely strike me as a teacher type. He’s the type that’s used to running around, delivering Mail and such to his neighbors. I can picture him being a very nice if a little clumsy, groundskeeper of Hogwarts. His favorite duty would be to care for the owls in the Owlery- putting him on good terms with the care of magical creatures professor- because he’s always had a bit of a passion for the Mail service. He could often be seen running around the school, taking care of incidents, and trying to reason with the ghosts (if Peeves still exists, Peeves would 100% take advantage of Eddie’s clumsy nature for his own amusement). Eddie would also probably be a lot easier to manipulate than Filch would, and would probably more often than not let students off with a warning rather than a very harsh punishment.

Wally Darling - Defense Against the Dark Arts (Ravenclaw). Before I get into his teaching style, hear me out with his house- Ravenclaw is described as being highly creative and curious individuals. Wally, despite not being the smartest, is quite the creative individual, and he’s described as being the one to learn with the viewer during episodes of Welcome Home. He gives me… Luna Lovegood vibes, in a way, where the way he thinks and looks at the world may be a little different from how others do, but in the end that doesn’t make him stupid. In terms of how he’d behave as a teacher, I picked Defense Against the Dark Arts because of his fandom-agreed tie to very dark themes and such. I imagine in a Harry Potter AU he’d have had many run-ins with dark creatures in the past, and now he uses his experiences to help others in the present. Like Lupin, most of his classes would be very hands-on and he’d be a very professional, maybe a little eccentric sort of teacher who’s very patient with all of his students. Outside of the class, however, he’s still quite patient but also gives off a much different sort of energy. It’s not unusual, for instance, to find the professor lying on the stairs for several minutes at a time after having- yet again- missed stepping over the disappearing step. He’s quite the oddball, but many students do enjoy him as a teacher overall.

Poppy Partridge - Not a professor, would work in the Hospital Wing in Madame Pomfry’s place. (Hufflepuff). There’s no way that Poppy would be a professor- all of those spells and potion ingredients make her much too nervous, no no no. Poppy would instead work in the hospital wing as Madame Partridge and would help cure students and staff of their ailments. Don’t get me wrong- the sight of a boneless arm or a bloody werewolf wound would certainly make her faint from fright at first. Once that initial shock has passed, however, I imagine her practically squawking with worry as she works to patch her patients right up! She might overdo it at times, such as bandaging up sprains so thickly that the limb resembles more of a bowling ball than a limb, but she means well. I imagine she’s not that great at magic, but very knowledgeable on different healing potions and herbs.

Howdy Pillar - Either a Hogsmeade Salesman or Transfiguration (Slytherin). So… Howdy, to be honest, I don’t picture being a teacher in the Harry Potter Universe. Rather, I can see him being the owner of a General Store/Bodega down in Hogsmeade. His store would include general foods and stuff, but he’d also sell plenty of magical touristy items, such as ‘Limited Time - Spellchecking - Quick Quotes Quill - 50% Off Today!’ Or postcards featuring moving images of a snowy day at Hogsmeade or the Hogwarts grounds. However! For the sake of this post, I shall choose a job at Hogwarts for him- and that job would be the Transfiguration Professor. The main- and really, only- reason for this would be that… he’s a caterpillar… and… and caterpillars turn into (‘transfigure’) butterflies… I didn’t say I was clever when I was making these aight? Maybe he’d even be an animagus and could turn into a Butterfly, that’d be a fun nod to that. Anywho! As a teacher, Howdy would be the type to do pop quizzes- not in the traditional sense, however! He’d be like an auctioneer- saying stuff like “Name the Incantation for Fiend Fyre- am I hearing Pestis? Pestis what?- Did I hear it over here- aaaand correct, Miss Granger, Pestis Incendium! Ten Points to Gryffindor!” As for his House, I chose Slytherin because of the natural ambition that comes with being a Slytherin- Howdy’s a business and salesman, he’s quite the ambitious fellow. Not all Slytherins are evil, after all.

Sally Starlet - Astronomy (Either Gryffindor or Ravenclaw, I’m 50/50). Sally was difficult to choose- I wanted to pick something theater-related, but there aren’t any very important classes related to that. There are a few elective classes, but those felt rather boring. When I remembered the astronomy class, however, I was immediately like “HAHA! YOU!” Sally’s incredibly passionate about her subject- some may say even a little too passionate. Somewhat like Trelawney and her passion/beliefs in Divination, Sally cares a whole lot about the planets and both what they can teach you and just what they are in general. The way she talks about them at times makes it sound less like she’s talking about planets and more so talking about old friends. It’s quite strange, especially to those who aren’t a fan of her subject and/or her very flamboyant ways. Like Frank, some students purposely mess with Sally to get a dramatic reaction out of her, more so because her ego tends to get irritating than because she’s unfair in class. Sally’s generally a pretty decent professor, being split pretty evenly between hands-on work and homework, she’s just very boisterous about herself often enough that it gets on some students’ nerves.

Barnaby Beagle - Charms (Hufflepuff). Charms for some reason always struck me as a more ‘chill’ sort of magic- at least compared to a lot of the others. I imagine that as the Charms professor, Barnaby is most definitely an incredibly laid-back sort of teacher. He’s the type that doesn’t stress much about deadlines and homework- quite frankly, he could care less about homework and dislikes having to grade it. He generally would only give students the bare minimum required homework, and then the rest would all be taught in class. Though his class would teach the students more or less streamlined charms and such, if you meet him after class he’d 100% teach you what he refers to as the ‘funner’ charms and their many uses. This includes more prank-like charms, such as how to bewitch snowballs so they focus on a target and continuously throw themselves at them. Basically, he’d be the Weasley Twins of the staff.

Hope you enjoy my drabbles, I somewhat wanna mess around with these ideas more in the future but I’m unsure what I’d do lol

If you liked these and have any ideas, please feel free to send in some asks! I’d love to hear y’all’s thoughts on the matter

#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #sally starlet #julie joyful #howdy pillar #poppy partridge #wally darling #barnaby b beagle #frank frankly #eddie dear #welcome home au #harry potter #Harry Potter crossover #crossover #I was so nervous about posting this I even ran it through grammarly lol #tbh I don’t know for certain if that helped BUT WE’RE GONNA HOPE #drabble #my drabbles