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violenceenthusiast · 3 years

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im curious why people are saying supernatural is jewish like idk if jewish writers makes an inherently jewish story especially when things like following out the christian apocalypse from revelations and showing a real physical g-d who is just some guy i think is super jarring since though christians claim to be against idolatry they seem totally fine showing depictions of gd or whatever i dont get jesus honestly but jews are far more strict and the idea of showing gds appearance is pretty wrong

WOOF okay um. Maybe this is one of those Tone Doesn’t Come Thru Well Online things but to me this is soo fucking rude… I’m half way between John Mulaney we don't have time to unpack all of that & Ben Wyatt wait it’s gonna bother me if I don’t explain why you’re wrong.

This turned into all my thoughts.

So like. First off, it’s all fun and games. We’re all just joking and joshing and projecting here on destiel dot tumblr dot com and Jupernatural is not an exception in a lot of ways. And so when someone shits on what we’re doing here (yes, even unintentionally) what you get is what happened: oh you think you’re funny well I’m about to be hilarious!!! aka I’m gonna do it even more now out of spite specifically because you said not to. Like it really is all jokes but also you know what’s not a joke? Antisemitism in all its forms, even the casual shit! It’s really draining and it builds up in your veins!! Just. Yeah. You saw a lot of people talking about it today in particular because much like other topics of the day, one thing kicks off a whole other turn of events. So like. one misguided comment that’s playfully antisemitic and then one more little one, and then one big/obvious one launched us (Jewish spn fans) into a whole bigger discussion about antisemitism and erasure of Jews in the spn fandom writ large. It’s one thing to be descriptive, offer a headcanon/what if, or employ a certain mode of analysis. It’s another thing to definitively say This Is The Truth, specifically when to do so overrides something else, especially in this case when what’s being overridden is Jews, an ethnoreligious minority. It’s also another thing to talk over Jews. And mind this has been building for days. Not in a bad way just like, it’s been topical for days and then today one big thing pushed it over the edge to us actually posting abt it (partially bc at that point it’s a pattern, which feels like it needs to be addressed). Like, destiel tumblr is small we pretty much all see all the same posts, and then Jewish spn fans… we’re friends, we chat about life? We joke around together, y’know? If you’re being antisemitic (yes, even unintentionally) we’re all gonna hear abt it. It’s how we stay safe or in this case, curate the online exp.

That being said tho projecting on fiction is like fun and even a good thing at times, and def opens up new modes of analysis. But! the other big thing here is that there IS a LOT of evidence for a Jewish reading of spn, in a lot of ways, and particularly if you know what to look for. Like there’s lots of niche Jewish slang (non-Jews just don’t know these things, and that is a reflection primarily of the writers but once you put it in the script it implies things about the characters too of course), the theology of the early seasons (I’ll get to that in a second), main character motivations (hold on), “Moishe Campbell” implying Mary is (and therefore Sam and Dean are) Jewish, etc.

It’s not surprising to me or anything that non-Jews don’t catch anything/everything Jewish about spn but that Jews catch both sides of it, because that’s just how being part of a marginalized group works. You learn about your own stuff AND the dominant culture’s stuff because that’s how you survive (socially, psychologically, literally). Members of the dominant culture don’t need to learn the marginalized one, are never confronted with it, and so they just.. don’t. I don’t even mean that in a normative or accusatory way, that’s just an observation on the state of things. Non-Jews who aren’t part of another marginalized religion, aka expressed xtians and cultural xtians, have a ton of misconceptions about Judaism, for example, “Jesus was Jewish” and not, “Jesus was an asshole of an apostate who made life harder for Jews at the time in a myriad of ways and whose movement has had a lasting negative impact on world Jewry (and other peoples) for the ensuing millenia”. I truly Don’t Have Time right now to get into the varied and intense history of antisemitism in all its forms but. the point I’m making here is that I’m not shocked I need to explain that life experience shapes your worldview?? So if you’re Jewish you’re always gonna be living life through that version of the world and it does impact you?? Same as anything else?? As unwell as they may be, spn writers aren’t exempt from that. Jewish people writing about xtianity are doing so thru a primarily Jewish understanding and vice versa. Jews can (and did!) write about xtian lore but in a Jewish way! Some core Jewish themes: wrestling with angels/G-d, questioning G-d, IF there’s a G-d they will have to beg MY forgiveness, the afterlife isn’t really a big thing so all that matters is your time on earth, make amends to others directly and thru your actions rather than seeking absolution with G-d, you are not obligated to complete the work nor may you abandon it, etc… So that’s the other reasoning why we say “spn is Jewish” based solely on it being written by Jews. Rather than Death of The Author, let’s look at what the author has imbued the story with, both intentionally and unintentionally. And re: Chuck and idolatry… I don’t even know where to start with the way you phrased this but. the Jewish Spn Writers of Note are apparently Kripke, Gamble, and Edlund. All of whom stopped writing for the show years before the Chuck Is God plot!

Like yes it feels very stupid to be writing a thousand words on antisemitism and supernatural but like. this is a spn blog run by a Jew so. This whole thing is also just the same every time. This is very representative of typical casual antisemitism.

#asks #no readmore we die like men (gender neutral)#sorry its so long alma #jupernatural #anonymous #scream maybe i should add a readmore.. maybe in the morning

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meandmyechoes · 3 years

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The more I think about Dark Disciple, the more I find something odd.

[28th March 17:46]

I keep referring to it as a ‘favourable experience’, and there is no question the writing is what made me fall totally head over heels about quintress, but I also just, can’t?

I mean, yes. It’s very passionate, dramatic, scenes and gestures I can only dream of. But I also, don’t really see it in that ’omg they totally belong together here are my sixty headcanons of them’ sense?

I am very involved in the pairing, but also don’t really, actively ‘ship’ it — like the way it was an open book with Rhayme or Latts Razzi (since it’s the same author that indoctrinated me to Captain Rhayme). I could imagine them being happily ever after and silly shenanigans and slow-burn. But the concept of a quintress fairytale ending is so wild. I can only ask how much it is tainted with my personal view on relationships.

I know the plot leaves little room for “the future” and fed us well on all tropes possible. But, it just never occurred to me to put them in any other clichés or invent a missing scene.

Winding up, I don’t think their relationship is "weak", but it’s very motivated by circumstances and once you take that out of them, you are a little bit lost. For example even during the illicit affairs month, I… can’t really propose one date that does not seem tonally insensitive. (I can think of them being cloak dorks and Vos bringing her to ice-cream, that’s it, after a long hard moment) Really, all I possibly want is that sweet, sweet angst and canon is already there so I have no complaint.

It’s just… I don’t really get why it has to be the two of them that fall for each other. I understand why they did, and I believe it— Perhaps it’s much more a physical attraction thing that I don’t really have personal experience with.

I don’t know if quintress classify as slow-burn because 10 chapters still seem a little quick in the grand scheme of things. (aside: I’m quite disappointed Ventress wasn’t doing much in the last quarter of the book.) My point is, they do feel a little bit puppet to tropes, and while it’s deliciously written, there’s not much potential outside of canon. And that lack of inspiration makes me grimace a little.

[3rd April, 01:39]

I’ve scrolled through the dd tag and let the book sank a little. I am better articulated to talk about the sexist criticism now.

It’s a romance story, and when I judge it by that (lower) standard, it ticks the boxes. However, it might be a weakness as well, due to the projectability of the heroes. And yes, the whole assassination is dumb. Yet, tcw has been consistently this dumb at us. The last two times when she’s more rooted in the dark she failed, sent Savage and failed, so she’s gonna do it again with Vos… after she put down her desire for revenge. right. and surprise! Our “assassination” plan is to find Dooku and duel him directly. right…

I’ve read a review that says the romance takes away from the plot. However, the romance IS the plot. The book IS supposed to revolve around the two of them. I do agree them becoming begrudging allies then partners is a more unique approach, more rewarding as foils as well. but I guess a romance is easier for the conventional to process ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

With the “Ventress lose agency in falling for Vos”. Now, I can’t dictate how each of us buy into their physical attraction and chemistry (or lack thereof), and there’s no denial that a conscious human being is making that choice for the fictional character, I think the stance on this topic varied person to person from the above two factors, which are very different starting points.

I kept Katie Lucas’s foreword vividly in mind while reading. She said this is a story about people seizing chances to rebuild. That there’s always a choice. Cliché as it is, I believe ~the power of love~. I believe there exists someone you’re willing to sacrifice everything for, to overlook everything for, to forgive - to love them, warts and all. So, yes whether you think Ventress loses her agency to the romance, or if that’s a conscious choice on her behalf, is swayed heavily by how much you buy that they are the one.

[10th April, 10:30]

Yesterday I’ve been thinking a bit more about this. I do love this ship, I just don’t believe they’d be two people who find each other again and again in every life time, in every universe. That’s why, as magnificent as fireworks, it also won’t last.

To explore this, it’s not entire impossible for quintress to separate peacefully after this incident, but would that cheapen the build before? The entire motivation of dark!Quinlan hinges on his vision of their future. And say, Ventress did saved him and survived. How would he balance being a Jedi and his feelings - that’s publicly exposed to the Council? (sidenote: i really don’t like Ch. 27 where a bunch of old men are questioning their love life, but uhhh yes, I’m a sensible person!) For now, I’m seeing another Obi-Satine situation. And honestly how bad that an outcome is. It’s not like Ventress died for her war crimes! The show gave her a full pardon! So Idk man. Why can’t she leave him because she loves him and she exiled herself and they never see each other again WHY NOT FILONI WHY NOT.

Now I’m lamenting more what could’ve been with the two arcs. In Filoni’s original sketch, Aayla and Maul were involved. Man, that could’ve been the dream.

~~~

Part 2: [26th April, 15:15]

It has been… a month, since I finished Dark Disciple and I feel like it’s time to conclude all the thinking this book has made me do.

On the wider reflection about attachment and the Jedi Order, I still have to do more reading on it from other sources to form a concrete opinion. This theme won’t be touched on in this post yet, but I cannot shake how intriguing it is to compare “falling” in love to falling to the dark side. The temptation, and the submission to their emotions, the irrationality, the newfound curiosity, it all incites. Very curiously, it was Anakin Skywalker who commented that one is “blinded by love”

Okay, so what I’ve been scratching my head off the past two weeks is how I look at the romance between Asajj Ventress and Quinlan Vos. How would I define it?

Now this is as much as an exploration of how I view romantic relationships. Well, I’ve decided it wasn’t “love”, it was an “affair”. It was an affair because it’s a rush of passion, it’s a secret, it won’t last. Before I chop my own head off for bluntness, I mean it in, of course they are hopelessly in love with each other, that’s the exact premise of why it moved me so. But it wasn’t a complete relationship, wasn’t a healthy, sustainable one by any objective standards. Then, that’s the exact contradiction. Oh to throw caution in the wind with you, or to build a future with you?

Both are things I want a lot, and the ideal is of course one after the other. What quintress had (in the end) is definitely not something I’d want for myself, but it’s so fantastical, it’s alluring, just like the concept of falling in love - opening up yourself and trusting another person, is - it’s risky. That’s why it’s a sweet, sweet drug.

I’ve been so angry at all the red flags in this relationship. Reading this book, getting into both of their shoes, yelling NO like their best friends. But ultimately, what they had is unique to them and I can’t influence it in any way. Re-reading, I find myself holding myself back at all the places I was furious about going ‘You are smarter than this!’. Because it’s a tragedy, and the beautiful (I guess) thing is they chose each other.

The other day something on the dash inspired me to really think about ship dynamics. I, unashamedly admit, I’m VERY into Obi/Quin/Ventress in any and all combinations. *cough* I will not explain further.

I do accept the premise and I did discover they share quite a bunch of traits, but it confused me a while what made them cross the boundary, and it was, physical attraction (that the book was selling so hard I was blushing hot). I love them both a lot, and I would like to date them both, and I can see myself in either of them. Again comes the contradiction, is it a good thing to have characters so easily projectable, or do I want to see myself in more complex characters like them?

I probably lost quite a few cars stalling this train of thought. And I've been a canon apologist since forever. This book brought me a lot of emotional upheavals and a lot of food for thought. It brought me down to reflect on my romantic worldview and sexuality because I have nothing better to do. It totally challenged me as a writer and it’s just a really good novel by its right, regardless of the absurdity that is The Clone Wars. It’s a lot of firsts for me. And I really should find something better to do.

[26th April 16:00]

I must address that I got spoiled of the ending and the first and second half of the book probably went through some big changes.

If I cried for this book, it’s score would be even higher. And I’ve been so obsessed with discussing the relationship, without shedding light on the characterization, which is definitely an unfortunate side effect. Then it occurs that quite possibly the second half (26-42) deviated even further from the script than the first? It doesn’t have concept art or blocking, plus possibly (heavily) edited to omit correlation to other arcs. My major complaint for the second half is Ventress doesn’t do much and we know NOTHING about Vos, even though he is given screen time in the book. my, I just wish Ventress punch him harder and drag his idiotic mess back to the light sooner.

And to criticism about it being their ‘toxic’ relationship being portrayed as ‘true love’, well, it really depends on how thoughtful the reader is, right? I think if the reader is able to notice all these red flags and gave their own interpretation of the relationship and its outcome, it’d’ve been an educating experience. There’s what for the reader and what for the characters. They don’t know this ‘love’ is destroying them, and what kind of message is it sending? What ‘love’ depicted in the book is true then? I have my answers, and I hope every reader comes to their own as well.

#dark disciple #sw reading #clean version #i yell 'EXCEPT THE FLIRTY PART' every three scenes

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sleepymarmot · 4 years

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Honestly I don’t understand why people are so shocked Ben died. Sure, I wanted him to live too. But for that option to be viable, he should have done a heel-face turn way earlier in the movie and joined the Resistance openly. That would have been very cool -- but that’s not how the movie went.

His redemption was purely metaphysical: he chose the Light side over the Dark. Otherwise... not much has changed. For the whole movie, his main motivation was to keep Rey alive (initially -- by making her join his side), and his last deed was to revive her. Otherwise... Sure, he also tried to fight Palpatine for a bit, but that didn’t really amount to anything. As far as anyone but Rey is concerned, he’s nothing but the enemy leader responsible for all their suffering. Sure, we as viewers know that his villainy is a tragic result of Palpatine’s actions. But his victims in-universe? Don’t know, wouldn’t care if they knew, and completely justified in that. So what would be the options if everything were the same except Ben survived?

Rey hides him somewhere. Has to live the rest of her life lying to everyone around her and hiding her lover from her found family/friends/allies.

Rey lets him face judgement. There’s probably a ton of people who would want him executed outright. If they don’t succeed, the next likeliest option is imprisonment for life. Rey’s affiliation with him ruins her reputation. And he still can’t live freely, only hang out with Rey via force bond... but likely, that’s exacly what he can also do in the canon ending!

“Death” was an easy way out. He doesn’t have to pay for his crimes now. He can be at peace -- for the first time in his life, probably! -- having become one with the Force. Do you remember the ending of the previous movie? “No one’s ever really gone”? Luke, a beloved and objectively Good character joining the Force as a peaceful, cathartic, almost happy ending? Joining the Force is not a loss, it’s not a bad thing! Especially when your only surviving loved one has been mostly communicating with you via your unprecedentedly strong Force bond anyway! (And no, I’m not betting that we’ll ever see this on screen, or even confirmed. This is a giant Disney franchise ruled by what the executives will deem most profitable. But as a reading of the trilogy as a work in itself, it is completely reasonable to assume that Rey and Ben’s connection is not suddenly and completely over.)

Plus, even his crimes aside, Ben is still severely messed up as a person. It may be the result of lifelong brainwashing (and probably is), but that’s the result we have to live with. The heart of the issue is that he doesn’t seem to be aware other people have internal lives. It seems like Rey was the first person whose interiority he has noticed, thanks to their Force bond, and it shook his life. He does love his parents, deeply. Deciding to turn his back on them tears him to pieces. But he doesn’t seem to think of them as people. And in one sense, it’s a symptom of his childishness: he’s still at the stage where your parents are giants and heroes, and not yet people who have their own lives, flaws, feelings just like you. But it also manifests as something that is closely related to the extremist, anti-humanist ideology he was goaded into. People are symbols. “Let the past die, kill it if you have to”. That’s all the world was to Kylo -- a reflection of his own personal past. Han was less of a living, breathing person who loved him -- and more of an object of Ben’s love that must be discarded. Leia was a beacon of Light he felt he could never return to. What happens when a person like that finally realizes that the people around him are just as real as him, and have been the whole time? (Old news, but the similarities to a certain Dragon Age character and his romance are absolutely staggering.) How can he be led to that realization? And after that happens, how does he handle suddenly understanding the literally astronomical amount of suffering he has personally inflicted? What does a man whose own personal pain was enough to absolutely blind him do when finally faced with the pain of an entire galaxy? I don’t know, but it must be an even darker story that the brutally shown spiral of undignified, hysterical, senseless, agonized destruction of self and everything else that Kylo was in throughout the previous two films.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying Ben is inherently irredeemable by anything but death. To show someone who with abuse and lies had been goaded into villainy that goes against his nature genuinely recover and taste the life that has been denied him AND pay due respect to the people who have suffered as a result of his villainous actions would have been a great story. To believably show the de-radicalization of someone completely immersed in a destructive worldview would have been a great story too. But these are too big and complex for a subplot in a two-hour Disney blockbuster. I would have loved to see them on screen -- but was that ever really an option? The character of Ben Solo that we have is already beyond what I have expected from a Star Wars movie. So let’s take from canon what we cherish, and have our headcanons or fanfics for the rest.

#ben solo #star wars #sw spoilers #blah blah blah #bendemption #redemption discourse

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duocreatix · 5 years

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Written confessions: a Good Omens headcanon

I recently had the opportunity to read this fanfiction, in which Crowley had a British pop band in the 1990s and wrote songs based on his own anxieties about Aziraphale. It sounded so appropriate to his character as a whole that I began to think... what similar could the angel do to vent his own anguish over an impossible romance with a demon?

Well, he's a bookseller, right? Why not write a book?

Aziraphale likes to read, obviously, but that doesn't mean it's good with written words. I honestly can't see him sitting at the table writing an entire novel, risking being caught by his superiors, producing a written proof of a fraternization that shouldn't happen, or forcing himself to imagine his whole story as one of someone else, as many brilliant authors do without hesitation.

So why not dictate a book instead?

As I live in Brazil, I'll use common elements of my reality here, one of them being the great popularity of Spiritism in my land. Spiritism is a religion / doctrine (read about it here) originated in France that deals with the evolution of the spirit through incarnations, and books dictated by disembodied spirits (and psychographed by mediums) are particularly well received in my country. As a collector of first editions and misspelled Bibles, it wouldn't surprise me if Aziraphale, at some point in the 19th century, had come across Allan Kardec's "Bible According to Spiritism," even though Spiritism wasn't so well received in the UK.

Or maybe even Heaven itself could designate Aziraphale to keep an eye on this new movement, which meets various precepts of the Catholic Church, and the angel spends a season in France watching the maturation and establishment of the fascinating Spiritist doctrine, which goes on to help as many anguished souls as possible on their way toward the light. He meets mediums, teachers, and spirit guides, who recognize in the angel an enormous weight without identifying exactly the cause. And, obviously, they offer help.

He hesitates, of course, but the kindness and willingness are a trigger for his weary soul, needy of at least one friend who understands his problem (he and Crowley parted ways after 1862, after all). And then he vented for hours, days, for the first time in 6000 years without feeling constrained by the fact that he was a supernatural entity... weren't they all there?

After a long (and emotional) outburst, one of the guiding spirits makes the kind suggestion: "Why not turn your incredible life story into a book? We have several mediums willing to write everything you narrate about all your millennia with your friend, and you don't even have to sign your real name! It'll help put your mind in place and consider everything you two experienced in a new light."

The angel considers the offer with great care for days. There was a real possibility of being discovered (and obviously punished) by Heaven if any of them knew that he had freely given his flaming sword, his encounters with the demon, and - most seriously of all - their Arrangement. He would need to think very carefully about which facts could be told and which should be omitted... But nothing terrified him more than the prospect of being discovered by Crowley in person, having his feelings revealed, being rejected, blackmailed, end up alone again...

Then he remembers, with a bittersweet feeling, that neither Heaven nor Crowley are interested in books, so neither side would even dream about the existence of such records if Aziraphale were cautious enough.

Then Aziraphale accepts. And, for several sessions, he sits next to a gentle middle-aged woman and discusses all the encounters and mismatches between him and Crowley, mindful to create a pseudonym for both of them. What should be a single book turns into a trilogy, titled "From the Garden to the World," and is one of the best-selling Spiritist books of the following years.

Dictating books doesn't solve his problems, of course, but brings some peace of mind that the angel no longer knew, and helps him focus for the next decades ahead without Crowley. And when his stability is threw off balance in 1941, he once more seeks the same guiding spirit and writes a new tale, published as "Reflections on Ruins" in France.

The intensity of narration filled with repressed emotions and the transgressive love of protagonists on opposite sides in a tense period in history wins the hearts of millions of readers around the world, and the four works signed by the spirit Erza Fell are translated into six different languages. Always in touch with spiritual friends made during his time in France, Aziraphale receives through them hundreds of letters from people who have found comfort and answers to their own love difficulties reading his. The courage of these strangers helps him reinforce his own courage to go against his own principles and hand over a small tartan thermos to Crowley filled with holy water in 1967...

Crowley doesn't discover the existence of such books by the blissful fact that he never goes into bookstores on his own, except when he's looking for some specific first edition for Aziraphale... who strives to keep the demon away from any spiritist book that might cross his path. This changes, however, during the period when both are focused on their own roles as influences for little Warlock.

Mrs. Dowling has a weakness for historical novels, especially narratives involving soul mates and rematches through the centuries. On a visit to the US, she returns with all the books written by the angel, and spends days talking about the story to Nanny Astoreth, how the protagonists seemed deeply in love with each other, how many hours she had spent sobbing while reading the fourth book. ... "You need to read to understand", she says, pushing the first volume into the nanny's hands, "I need at least one person in this country who has also read these books to chat about them!"

Crowley sighs, accepts the book politely, and buries it deep in his carpet bag, staying there for the next few years until the eve of Armageddon. Fidgeting in his apartment, he looks for things to distract his mind, and finds the old bag of his nanny days tucked into the back of the closet. There weren't exactly many things there, just a lamp, a large mirror, extra pairs of shoes, a tape measure ... and a crumpled book that would make Aziraphale shiver.

The demon laughs at the cover, two hands holding an apple at the same time (gosh, how many memories ...), and the author's name - or would it be co-author? How did that work in spiritist books? - sounded curiously familiar, but the smile fades from his face when his eyes are drawn to a specific paragraph, right in the first pages:

"I never thought too much about the implications of having a demon under my wing, we were probably the only two beings capable of dialogue at that time in Eden, and the first storm was too long, too cold, to pass by myself, even if it meant passing with a vile serpent. The same serpent I hoped it would never leave my side for the next six thousand years. "

Crowley swallows hard, feeling his mouth as dry as a desert. This description invoked memories too old, too intimate, to be described by someone who hadn't lived them. But Aziraphale wouldn't have had the audacity to write his own experiences on Earth so openly, would he?

Well, there’s only one way to find out: reading the book.

In the end, Aziraphale had indeed the audacity to write their story from his own point of view, the bastard.

It was odd, reviewing millennia of memories through someone else's eyes, but at least it helped him to understand the angel's attitude on multiple occasions and, even more surprising, the impact their fraternization had on his worldview (not enough, apparently, but bigger than he expected).

Bustling, Crowley finishes the first book in one hour and set out on a rampant search for the next three books in London, with no patience to order them online (who could say the world would still be there after Saturday?). Dozens of bookstores later, the demon found the only specialized bookshop in the region and, after intense negotiation with the seller (Why were all tallow owners so greedy???), he finally sits in his apartment with the stack of books on one side and two bottles of whiskey on the other.

Many hours go by, and two bottles aren't enough for Crowley to continue absorbing so much information (he summons other three), reliving scenes he'd like to forget ...

"I should never have used the term 'fraternize', but what else could I say with Heaven and Hell watching us, while the only constant being in this mutating world suddenly asks me for something that could erase him from all the planes of existence?"

(Oh, that afternoon in 1862, what he wouldn’t give to go back in time and cover his own mouth before saying that hateful "I don't need you"... He needed, God knows well how much he needed his angel and mourned over their distance through the following 80 years!)

It isn't any easier to read what comes after that day. The loneliness, the desperate need for something that would made Aziraphale less empty finding echo in Crowley's chest, an ache of empathy that a real demon would never feel in their eternal life. He finishes "Reflections on Ruins" with a sigh, laying on the ground and staring at the ceiling for minutes that looked like hours to him. The world hasn't changed, they were still one step away from Armageddon and the Antichrist was still missing, Heaven and Hell were just waiting for their moment tho start the war they longed for millennia.

But all he could think was how much he wanted to look at Aziraphale's big blue eyes once more.

Crowley inhales deeply ans sobers up before picking up his phone and dialing the number of the bookshop. He doesn't have a plan, but he can think of anything on his way to the bandstand.

#good omens #Headcanon #sorry for my poor english #if anyone wants to write more please feel free

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antialiasis · 7 years

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Groundhog Day Rambling: Actually Seen It Edition

So in July I Actually Saw Groundhog Day and it was pretty magnificent! Here are my very lengthy, overanalytical final thoughts on the full thing.

(A bit of context, if you're here from the tag: I had previously heard the soundtrack and audio bootlegs; by the time the video bootleg became widely available, though, it had actually become a realistic possibility that I'd be able to see the show in person, so I very deliberately avoided it. In other words, I knew the songs and the dialogue before I went in, and you can check my #groundhog day tag, in particular these four posts: x, x, x, x, for my extensive thoughts on those pre-actually seeing it, but the staging was all new to me.)

I never really, properly got "There Will Be Sun" until I actually sat in the theater watching it on stage. I understood what it was about, on the object level, but it wasn't really obvious why it was there, why Tim Minchin really wanted to open with this relatively uninteresting ensemble chorus rather than getting straight to the far more punchy, eccentric and memorable "Small Town, U.S.A." and properly introducing our leading man.

When you're actually watching it in the theater, though, it's different. It's beautiful. It's atmospheric as hell. It introduces us to these people, in a kind of solidarity with them, before we zoom in on Phil's self-centered, condescending worldview for the rest of Act I, establishing an understated little thread of but these people aren't really just annoying props in Phil's day before that thread gets thoroughly pulled on in Act II, and it's exactly right. In some part it's the blue lighting and everyone's colorful winter gear, creating a genuine cold winter atmosphere even in a warm theater, but I also think simply the presence of these people is a huge part of it. Listening to a recording is a whole different experience than actually being in a room with people singing. Group singing is a social activity, and it's a strange kind of bonding experience just sharing this moment with the residents of Punxsutawney as they sing a hymn to the end of winter. In Iceland we have bonfires on New Year’s Eve, where people get together and gather around the fire and sing old folk songs in the snow; that's what it felt like. The actual Groundhog Day celebrations as we see them later feel pretty goofy, particularly as we see them filtered through Phil's perception, but while we listened to "There Will Be Sun", I felt like I really got why they all want to celebrate this ridiculous holiday and why it means something to them. It's a little local tradition that brings them together to sing and dream of spring, and that's beautiful.

Connecting more with the people of Punxsutawney was possibly one of the biggest things about seeing it on stage on the whole. In the audio, they're just occasional voices popping up here and there, but seeing these same people just being present throughout the story - celebrating Groundhog Day, sitting at the diner, on the ride during "If I Had My Time Again" - really adds a lot, one way or another. I cared about everyone who was dancing during "Seeing You". Wilbur and Jeff are barely even characters but it was still the sweetest thing in the world to see them get together in the background. There was something so viscerally satisfying and happy about the end that I didn't even care about Nancy not getting more of an explicit resolution. She's there, and she's fine, and she's seeing... Larry, but that's fine! He seems like a nice non-douche! She will probably be okay! Everything seems like it will be okay.

Even more important, though: Phil is significantly more visibly neurotic and not okay than you can tell from the audio alone. Needless to say, I was delighted. "I'm sure there was a pack of Xanax in this jacket" sounds like a throwaway line that might just be him making a joke, but no, he actually has a bottle of Xanax and takes one, and throughout day two in particular he's popping pills like his life depends on it. I especially like this in the context of the movie; the movie's Phil Connors is just a sour, grumpy dude, but in the musical he's clearly consciously, canonically suffering from depression/anxiety from the start, and that casts a lot of his behaviour and arc in a different, even more interesting light. Act I Phil isn't just a dick; he's poorly coping with serious mental problems (by being a dick), and that's clearly the actual intended canon and not simply cool headcanon. Have I mentioned I love this musical

(It lends an additional punch to "Hope", too. He doesn't go from zero to suicidal merely because he's trapped in a time loop; he was already in a bad place, and when the temporary high of 'I can do whatever I want' wears off and he's still trapped and there's nothing he can do about it, it just makes sense that's where he ends up. Nggh.)

The staging itself was an absolute delight. I knew about the car chase and that miniature cars were involved, but even that was even better than I imagined, with the several different perspectives and creative ways of playing with the idea without it getting old. The other bits with the miniature van were amazing. "Hope", of course, was magnificent. God, this was just so much fun to watch throughout.

I finally properly got the thing about the boots; couldn't hear Rita rubbing her feet every day in the audio, so while I gathered her feet were cold and he got boots for her at some point, it wasn't entirely clear what happened until I could actually see it. That was really cute, clearly something Phil would notice and then want to actually help her with as he begins to expand his perspective.

There were some little things as well. It’s been a few weeks now (I’ve been busy or I would have written this post sooner) and I can't recall some of the bits I wanted to mention, but what I can remember at the moment is that at the end of "Everything About You (Reprise)", too, Andy sang it with a slightly different intonation, more questioning than on the soundtrack, so that it was audibly an "I know... everything?" as he started to reconsider the idea that he knows everything there is to know about the people around him. I liked that moment a lot; I love when you can tell what a character is thinking just by one small thing they say or the way they say it.

I think my personal take on exactly why Phil broke out of the loop when he did is that Phil's character development was largely driven by his admiration of Rita, the realization that he's been a shallow asshole using his infinite time to just meaninglessly dick around when she has all these plans and dreams and desire to help people and make friends - that he doesn't deserve her, as he said in the movie's equivalent of "Everything About You (Reprise)". So when Rita actually falls in love with him, he realizes that unexpectedly he has become someone she could love, after everything he's learned. Breaking the loop required him not just to become a better person, start to see others as people and do good while accepting the things he can't change, but also to be able to reflect on that and understand how he's changed. "Seeing You" is that first time he properly reflects on his journey and where he's come and realizes he's actually happy and content with himself now (I'm here, and I'm fine), and Rita makes it happen. It’s not about him getting the girl, but it’s still triggered by her falling for him, so that’s not just some weird coincidence.

Anyway, this musical is wonderful, it was even better live than I expected, and I'm so happy I got to see it in person. Thanks yet again for accompanying me, @negrek!

#groundhog day #groundhog day musical #groundhog day the musical #phil connors #ramble #review #depression #suicide #my buttons

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