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cartoonus-maximus · 2 years

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My thoughts, notes, and a few rogue theory noodles on “Fazbear Frights #8: Gumdrop Angel” ...

I gotta say, I both love and hate that cover. I think it’s a great image, and I love the artwork by itself, but it somehow manages to both spoil the entire ending of the story while also not accurately depicting it. So... I really like it, but I also wish they’d used something else. :/

Oh, and y’know what?... I’m gonna warn you outright, right now: the first two stories deal with body horror, and the third one talks a lot about abuse, mental trauma, and severe physical injuries. In general, I don’t feel the need to put many warnings on these things because I’m already talking about FNAF and most people who are interested already know what to expect, but I included enough about them in my notes that I just want to warn anyone beforehand.

That aside, let’s get into it.

Spoilers under the cut, obviously.

(image: Barbie fruit gummy snacks)

"Gumdrop Angel"

- The story opens up with someone named Angel, who can't move or speak, and is stuck inside a wooden box of some sort and covered with some sort of sticky gunk. But, apparently we're getting ahead of ourselves... - 18-year-old Angel feels trapped at Freddy Fazbear's, and her inner monologue vents out every frustration held by anyone who has ever worked at a children's venue: it's loud, the colors are too bright and headache-inducing, and it's all designed to wind up the already too excited kids. - We learn that Angel has never had a birthday party, due to being raised by a financially unstable single parent, and part of her is jealous that her new stepsister is getting one at Freddy's. Angel feels nothing but resentment for each family member - her mother is "a self-centered gold-digger," her father (who left before she was born) was weak and worthless, her new stepdad Myron is only worthwhile when he's paying for stuff (but he isn't paying for her college tuition, so he's out), and her new 5-year-old stepsister Ophelia is an annoying little brat. - Angel's mother has curly blonde hair and blue eyes, and spends more time on making herself pretty than she has ever spent with her daughter. (Sucky self-centered mom who only cares about looks and money alert!) Her name is apparently Bianca. - (Her mom reminds me a lot of Clara from the 'Immortal and the Restless' shorts, tbh, only truly obnoxious and mean-spirited.) - It's interesting that both the mom and stepsister have names relating to Shakespeare plays: Ophelia is a prominent character in "Hamlet," and Bianca is in "The Taming of the Shrew." - Ugh. The parents legitimately suck. I thought Angel was just being melodramatic, but no, they're awful people. - Ophelia is a baby horse girl. Since she wanted her birthday party to be at Freddy's, which is apparently her favorite restaurant, and also wanted it to be horse-themed, Stepdad Myron actually argued with the Freddy's manager to try to make a horse-themed party (Freddy's doesn't have any horse characters, sir...) - "[Ophelia] grinned, showing teeth stained with pizza sauce and looking for all the world like a cannibal." (Foreshadowing, methinks?) - When Ophelia gets pizza sauce in Angel's hair, Angel escapes the children's party by heading to the bathroom, and runs into an attractive male employee. The guy smiles at her, then takes her hand and leads her out of the main room, taking her to help her clean the pizza sauce off herself. (Angel herself finds it weird that she just instinctively follows the guy and obeys his every command.) The guy introduces himself as Dominic, and he's apparently the assistant manager. He hits on her the entire time he helps her. Happy for the attention, Angel vents to him about her family, and asks where he goes to school, finding out that he attends a "school for brainiacs." - Dominic manages to ask her out before his manager (a woman named Nancy) calls him into the kitchen. When exchanging numbers, Dominic says he doesn't have to write hers down, and that he has a good memory. - Angel wants to get into a performing arts school, and wants to be an actor, singer, and dancer. She thinks it's cute when she sees Dominic sing and dance with the kids at Freddy's. - The animatronics help little Ophelia blow out all 5 of her candles; Angel's inner monologue makes it clear that the robots *do* in fact blow air from their mouth, snuffing the candles. - For the finale of the birthday party, little Ophelia is brought up onto the stage, where a gummy candy statue of a little girl is lowered down the stage. The gummy moves around wildly, as though dancing, and is referred to a "the Yummy Gummy." The announcer says that the kids are free to eat the candy child, but that "only the birthday girl (Ophelia) can eat the gumdrop nose." - The gummy continues to move wildly around as the kids eat it. Angel assumes the gummy is some sort of robotic treat, and finds it weird that the Freddy's employees keep it moving while the kids are eating it. - Ophelia gets sick from all the candy, and decides to take her candy gumdrop nose home with her instead of eating it at the restaurant. - Angel can't wait to head for college, toward her own life and away from this family she feels trapped in. - Stepdad Myron gifts little Ophelia both a pony and a horse (yes! live animals! that she can't even take care of yet!), which angers Angel, since Myron refuses to spend a single cent on her that he doesn't have to. She's going to college on a scholarship and loans, she doesn't have a car, and even has the smallest bedroom in her stepdad's literal mansion, despite there being many rooms available for her (she was assigned this room by her mom and stepdad). - Angel gets into a fight with her stepdad and mother about her college tuition. On the way to hide in her room, she sees into Ophelia's room - Ophelia is playing with her horse toys, but her uneaten 'gumdrop nose' is sitting with her treasure collection on her dresser. Enraged, Angel breaks into Ophelia's room and grabs and eats the candy, causing Ophelia is scream and cry. She goes to hide in her room as the parents come to tend to Ophelia, feeling satisfied with herself. - Angel is extremely itchy during the night, and her skin now has enflamed bumps and ridges, and she worries that she has a rash. Her skin feels gummy. As she looks at herself in a mirror, the bumps spread. - She tries to clean herself, but her skin only gets worse, becoming weirdly spongy and colorful, reminding her of a gumdrop candy. She thinks it looks like colorful scales are sprouting out of her skin. - Angel calls Dominic, hissing at him angrily that "that place" (she means Freddy's) is responsible for making her sick, and asking him what he "did to her." After she mentions the "jelly scales" on her body, Dominic gets strangely quiet, and then just tells her to come to Freddy's right now, promising to explain everything to her. As he speaks, Angel feels herself relax, and dutifully moves to do as he says. - "No good came from Freddy's." Well, that's true. - Angel turns off the house alarms and breaks into the garage, climbing into her mom's sports car to get to Freddy's. She notices that she's suddenly shorter now. - She gets catcalled at a red light, but is too distracted by the strange, filmy mucus-like secretion covering her fingers. - Dominic meets her in front of Freddy's and ushers her to the back. Angel can't help but notice how creepy the place looks at night, and how eerie and "unfriendly" the characters look. - Dominic is the only person at Freddy's right now, and is here pretty late at night. (Could he be a night guard? Do the manager / assistant manager staff handle night guard duties when they don't have one?) - Angel is having trouble seeing, and her legs don't want to move properly. When Dominic speaks to her, she can't hear him properly, or understand the words. Thinking is getting harder and harder, too. - Dominic tells her he's going to put her "into something that will help her." He leads her to a shiny wooden box, and Angel immediately feels that the box is "pretty" and "safe," and wants to be "kept warm and safe inside." She no longer cares how she came to be this way, and she tries to thank Dominic for bringing her here. - "[Angel] wanted to tell [Dominic] it was okay. She was in the box now! It was her box! It belonged to her, and she belonged to it." - Distressed and crying, Dominic puts her in the box, telling that "it will just be a few hours at most." He promises not to leave her, and then asks her if she "feels anything," before telling her to "close her eyes," promising her that "it will be over soon." He touches around at her face as she falls asleep. - Angel wakes up a few hours later, awoken by the sound of screaming children, and we get the segment from the opening of this story. She's still in the box, and her body has completely changed, but she's thinking clearly again. She realizes her mouth is covered with something, forcibly held shut, and she feels like something has been jammed into/up her nose. - Just as she gets the idea that she's being suspended in the air, she's lowered out of the box. The sounds of children screaming gets louder, and she can hear the singing and music of the Freddy Fazbear's animatronics stage show. - Now in control of her body again, Angel begins kicking and flailing her arms and legs, trying to escape wherever she is. She feels like there's something attached to her head, holding her upright and puppeteering her body as she's lowered down. - The new birthday girl, a girl named Julie, takes the first bite out of the "Yummy Birthday Gummy" Angel. - So, while Angel herself isn't a stand-in for Charlie (Henry's daughter, who becomes the Marionette), her story shares some of the same beats. She's killed at Freddy's, by someone she trusted (Dominic for Angel, William for Charlie), and is kept in a box where she is soothed and falls asleep, and is then puppeteered around for a child's birthday party. She also loves music, and constantly sings to herself as a way of relaxing, which is similar to how the Marionette can be kept from attacking by playing music. - I dunno. A girl went into a box and my brain immediately said "... Charlie?" because it seems like she's always being put into boxes across the franchise. But, like I said, Angel isn't a stand-in for Charlie, and I don't think this was meant to be Charlie's story (the pieces don't fit well enough for that), but it shares a few similarities. - Ugh. Scott and his team are really good at writing terrible parents. For their sakes, I hope it doesn't come from personal experiences. - Dominic is interesting, and there's a lot of odd details called out about him. He's management at Freddy's, and is apparently In The Know about the company's tendency to make children disappear, and doesn't seem to be at all bothered by it until it affects the girl he was trying to ask out. He goes to a school for really smart people apparently, is naturally good with kids, and has an oddly soothing voice that compells Angel to follow him and obey him every time he speaks. He also might be the night guard, and when he and Angel exchange phone numbers to call each other, he gives her the number for the Freddy's building, telling her that he's always there, and he's apparently the person who answers the phone well into the night. - Huh.... After typing all that out, now I'm realizing that Dominic just sounds like a younger version of Phone Guy. Could also be Phone Dude? Not sure that's intentional, though. - I'm not going to spend too much time on the whole "kids getting turned into candy" thing, partially because (I believe) it's a thing that only happens in this story, and doesn't affect the greater FNAF world, and also because I think it's just a stand-in scenario for the kids going missing/getting killed/becoming the animatronics anyway. Angel even thinks the Birthday Gummy at Ophelia's party is a puppet or animatronic at first. - Also just going to throw out that Angel's mom is literally the 8th self-absorbed/dangerously neglectful mother we've seen out of this series, and the 5th mom who is obsessed with makeup and her looks. Not all the women/mothers in the FNAF world are like this, so it's not solely lazy writing, but there's definitely a pattern developing here of "moms who spend more time on their own face than on their children." - Also a pattern of abusive stepdads/foster fathers. :( - Really just sucky parents in general. (William, why are you killing the kids when you could be making yourself useful and killing these good for nothing parents? C'mon, man! /jk)

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"Sergio's Lucky Day"

- Sergio is an architect, and was apparently a 'phenom' about numbers and spatial relations as a child - he just got named project manager on a big project, which means a promotion, a new office all to himself, and also means that he's going to be working overnight in the office in the coming weeks - Sergio's girlfriend, Violet, also works at the same design firm that he does; they've been dating for almost a year - Sergio has a hard time reading people's true intentions (same, man, same..) - for reasons Sergio doesn't know/understand, he feels both excited for his new promotion, as well as a strange sense of depression - Violet doesn't have any of the same interests as Sergio, and he often finds himself lying to her because he thinks he needs to appease her; she also flirts with any and all men that enter her view, which bothers/worries him - The new job does not go as well as he had hoped it would - it's frustrating, doesn't pay as much as he thought it would, and isn't much better than his previous position - He doesn't get as much time off work anywhere, and no longer has time to cook himself or sleep normally, and he's starting to gain weight fast from all the take out he's eating and his inability to work out regularly - his luck at life in general takes a sharp downward turn, and everything gets irritating. The old woman who lives in the apartment next to his keeps nosing into his life, the neighbor above him dances loudly late into the night, and Violet keeps pestering him to spend more and more time with her doing things he doesn't enjoy. - his car breaks down on the drive home, and he ends up walking in the rain to get assistance. He trips over a garbage bag, and a Balloon Boy figurine comes out of the bag. This BB is holding a balloon in one hand, and a sign reading "I'm a lucky boy!" in the other; he also says these words when Sergio makes a comment about it. The rain stops when Sergio lays eyes on BB. - BB introduces itself as "My name is Lucky!" and says a few other short phrases, including "It's lucky to be Lucky!" and "It's your lucky day!" and the standard BB giggle. - Sergio makes it to a gas station / mechanic's garage, and pays to have his car towed and repaired. While there, he is asked by the clerk if he wants to buy a lottery ticket, and, after Lucky BB has announced "It's your lucky day!," Sergio shrugs and buys a ticket. - The next day, Sergio learns that he got a winning ticket. After taxes, he has $600,000 to himself. - Learning that from the mechanic that his car will need a complete overhaul, Sergio wonders if he should have it repaired or buy a new one. Lucky BB pipes up to tell him that "You deserve good things!" and "You deserve to have your dreams come true!" Sergio takes this to mean that he should buy his dream car, and Lucky BB tells him outright "You should buy a flashy sportscar!" So... Sergio does. - Sergio: "What kind of watch should I buy?" Lucky BB, without missing a beat: "You deserve bling!" - Violet gets mad when she learns that Sergio won the lottery and didn't buy her anything; Sergio doesn't care, preferring instead to show his new gold watch to Lucky Boy BB, who tells him "You look impressive!" - Sergio has a friend/co-worker named Clive, who's much more chill and supportive about Sergio's work efforts and lottery winnings than anyone else - Clive, warning Sergio not to do anything stupid with his money: "Don't cut off your nose to spite your face!" (Ooh, and there's the foreshadowing!) - Sergio's new sportscar get stolen on his first day of using it. - He gets into fights with multiple apartment neighbors. Lucky Boy BB tells him to buy his own house, specifically a fixer-upper that he can design and fix up however his architect heart desires. Sergio loves the idea. - As Sergio looks to Lucky Boy BB for more and more answers, he breaks up with Violet, buys a new truck, and quits the firm he works for to start up his own design business. - His laugh starts to sound like Ballon Boy's giggle. He also accidentally says "I'm a lucky boy!" when talking to Clive at one point. - He starts talking to Claire, a real estate agent friend of his, and looking for a property to turn into his dream home / business. She shows him an old factory warehouse that's in a residential area, and backs up right into some regular neighborhoods and a forested area. (!!!! That location sounds familiar....!!) - At Lucky Boy's prodding, Sergio decides to ask Claire out for dinner, and further consults the toy boy about where to take her for dinner. He then decides that, since Lucky BB is always telling Sergio that Sergio deserves to be treated better, that he should treat Lucky BB better too, since the little toy is so helpful and always in his corner. So, he takes Lucky BB to dinner as well. Claire thinks Lucky BB is a little strange, but the date seems to go well anyway. - As Sergio puts more and more work into his new building project, he consults Lucky BB more and more, asking the little toy about every little decision he could possibly make. When Sergio worries that he's running out of money now that he's actually having to add up how much work will have to go into this building project, Lucky BB tells him to ask his father for a loan; Sergio's father is an Italian businessman, and a wealthy one at that. His father agrees, but under the stipulation that Sergio will either pay him back within a certain time or Sergio will have to come do work for his father. - Sergio breaks up with Claire because Lucky BB suggests Claire isn't good enough for him. They get into a fight while driving in his truck, and he wrecks his truck when Claire threatens to throw Lucky BB out the window. - Claire leaves the building project, and the head contractor leaves with her. This sets back his building project by quite a bit. - Sergio receives an invitation to his high school reunion, and wonders if Sophia, the girl he was into in high school (who has now become his "dream girl"), will attend. - Lucky BB now has his own pillow on Sergio's bed, and is literally consulted about everything from Sergio's building project to what Sergio should eat for lunch. - Sergio asks Lucky BB what he should do to prepare for his high school reunion if he wants to wow his former classmates and potentially impress his dream girl. He expresses that his ears are "too big," and, understanding that Sergio's ears don't make him happy, BB tells Sergio that he's "better off without them! Get rid of what you don't need!" and "You deserve perfection!" - Sergio sits down with Lucky BB to make a list of everything he wants to change about himself. BB tells him "Hair is overrated!" and "Cut [your nose] to fit! That's the rule!" and other weird comments. (I'm... honestly not sure if Balloon Boy really knows what he's saying during this point. Or at any point in the story, really. Mostly, he just seems to say whatever he thinks Sergio wants to hear, or he repeats things Sergio says and Sergio inserts whatever meaning he wants into it. So, when Sergio starts complaining about his looks, in the same way he complains about his car or his furniture, BB just tells him the same thing he's said about those other things: scrap what you don't like and start over.) - Sergio gets out a set of kitchen knives, building materials and tools, and a sewing kit. ( 0_0 !!! ) While we're thankfully not given a description of what Sergio does to himself, exactly, the list he made with Lucky BB earlier implies that he cuts off his ears, cuts off his eyelids, scalps himself, saws his legs in half and reconnects them with added wood beams to make himself taller, carves chunks off his lips, cuts off parts of his nose, and literally trims the fat of his stomach. - Sergio arrives at his high school reunion, ready to show off his new look. The entire crowd stares at him in silent horror for several seconds, and then the screaming begins. Comically, Sergio doesn't realize that they're reacting to him, and he spends several beats looking around to see what upsetting sight has got his former classmates in an uproar. He also gets confused when he sees a trail of blood, bits of flesh, and pieces of body parts on the floor behind him - he legitimately doesn't realize that the trail is being left by him, and instead wonders where the venue cleaners are. - Also, he brought Lucky Boy BB to his high school reunion, and even set the toy up in its own seat. Y'know, like a *normal person* would do... - And uh, yeah... That's where the story ends. - So there's a couple interesting things. The most important one I think is that the building Sergio buys to renovate is described as 'an old factory warehouse that's located in a residential area, right up against some suburban neighborhoods.' This is how Dr. Talbert's warehouse is described in the epilogues, so I think it might be the same building, and that Talbert eventually purchases it sometime after Sergio is no longer the owner. - But also interesting: 1) Sergio loses himself through interactions with BB, and slowly dissociates more and more from his own body and self, to the point where he doesn't feel pain and might actually forget to eat if BB didn't remind him, and 2) BB doesn't seem to have any ill-intentions. Heck, BB may not *have* any intentions at all, since he doesn't seem super sentient. He's just sentient enough to speak/understand human language, but not necessarily the full meanings behind the words. Like in "Fetch," Fetch understood Greg's words and their definitions, but not the true intentions.

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"What We Found"

- So you know how "Lonely Freddy" was just FNAF4, rearranged and retold? This story is FNAF3 rearranged and retold. - our new main dude is Hudson, who is the newly hired security guard of the still-unopened attraction, Fazbear's Fright; this job is both days and nights, which means Hudson is in the building almost all the time, mostly just standing or walking around looking at things - Hudson is 23 years old, and is described as "gangly" and "6 foot 1" - his granny makes/uses voodoo dolls - "How did something that started so right become so wrong?" - Hudson is afraid of the Freddy's animatronics (like screaming and running scared), which his coworkers make fun of him for - there's both a real security office and a fake one in the Fazbear's Fright attraction; the real office is full of monitors, and has a door which can be closed and locked, while the fake one is furnished with actual pieces from the original restaurants - the fake security office is part of the ride. Since "Fazbear's Fright" is about the murder-filled history of the Freddy Fazbear restaurant chain, there's a fake security office set up to include how none of the restaurant's security staff ever saw/did anything about the terrible acts happening in their own building - (Random but important distinction: the horror attraction, both in this story and in FNAF3, is called "Fazbear's Fright," singular and relating to a specific character, while this book series is called "Fazbear Frights," plural and relating to the Fazbear Entertainment company as a whole.) - This iteration of Fazbear's Fright is set up to actually resemble a Freddy's restaurant, with full-size statue replicas of the animatronics on a stage area, a full dining room, a kitchen, and an arcade area, in addition to the 'security office' and a handful of hallways, closets, and back rooms. It doesn't really sound like the FNAF3 location, but instead makes me think of the FNAF1 location, but with tracks for the ride running through it. - There are rats in the building. They're domesticated rats, straight from a pet store, and have little cubby holes and feeding spots hidden throughout the building. - Hudson asks the managers why the vents are so big, but doesn't get an answer. - Hudson's coworkers are Barry and Dwayne, his childhood friends. They're going to join the navy, while Hudson feels trapped in life. - (Apparently the guy's name is spelled "Duane," and I misspell it all throughout my notes. That's what I get for listening to the audiobook, I guess.) - Hudson's father died when he was young, and his mother remarried to a "ridiculous" man named Lewis, who Hudson was severely abused by (and also neglected by his mother) all through his high school years; because of his terrible home life, Hudson's school life suffered as well, and now he struggles to even make it through the day or hold a job. - (Abusive stepdad Lewis is probably named after Dawko, one of The go-to youtubers for FNAF content, but thankfully that's all the two have in common.) - Hudson's dad, Stephen, was a great husband and father, but suffered severe mental illness. He ran a small business in town, and when it tanked, he took his own life, leaving his wife and son, in Hudson's eyes, "easy prey for a monster like Lewis." - Hudson was severely bullied at school throughout his middle and high school years. His stepfather beat and berated him every day, and when his grades began to reflect his deteriorating health, his teachers, rather than help him, would also bully and abuse him. The teacher who stands out the most in Hudson's mind is Mr. Atkin, who would berate him and call him names in front of the class for his failing grades. - When Hudson was 18, his home caught fire during the night, and, although he survived, his mother and stepfather did not. Hudson claims he didn't start the fire (just call him Billy Joel!), but has been the prime suspect in the arson investigation ever since. - Most people who know Hudson apparently "hate him on sight" for this reason, and believe that he murdered his own mother and stepfather. - Another coworker is a lady named Faith, whom Hudson has a crush on. She works in the design/decorating part of setting up the attraction, and is also knowledgeable about machinery. She builds an animatronic feature into the attraction's fake dining room, which shows a door opening and a robotic adult's hand reaching out to discreetly pull a robot child out of sight. Hudson thinks that's incredibly disturbing. - Faith finds out about the fire incident, and stops talking to Hudson, believing, same as everyone else, that he's a killer. She starts dating Barry instead, which hurts Hudson a lot. - Hudson doesn't like kids, and enjoys bullying/scaring them when he can. - He hates mirrors, and specifically doesn't like his own reflection. - Hudson still has all of the lingering physical effects of his stepfather's beatings, in addition to the mental and emotional effects. - "Pirate's Cove" was in the dining room in the original restaurant. I've never been good at keeping track of what's where in the games, so I'm not sure off the top of my head if this is correct, but it was news to me. - Hudson's boss is Vergil, an older man who wears sweater his wife knits for him. - There's still no functioning phone system in the Fazbear's Fright building. It hasn't been installed yet. - Hudson's Granny Foster lives downtown, in an old warehouse that's been converted into residential apartments. She claims to be able to sense the future, a trait that Hudson may have inherited (in addition to his father's mental instability). - Granny Foster warns Hudson to leave his security job at Fazbear's, but it's the best paying job Hudson can land and keep, so he's loathe to leave it, despite his own bad feelings about the place. - Hudson comes into work one day to find Barry and Dwayne unloading a "coffin-sized wooden crate." They tell him that, whatever is in the crate, was apparently found in a hidden room in one of the old Fazbear's restaurants, and that Faith is really excited about it. They're very excited to show him "what they found." (Springtrap has entered the building. I repeat, Springtrap has entered the building!) - Barry and Dwayne express their concern for Hudson's fragile mental state and his fears of the building they work in, but Dwayne warns Hudson that he's only going to reap bad thoughts if all he sows are bad thoughts. (Self-fulfilling prophecy.) Barry tells Dwayne to stfu, and Hudson ignores both of them. - Alone in the building that night, Hudson decides to face the new animatronic rabbit, even though it terrifies him. To his horror, he realizes that there's a body inside the animatronic. - "This was a rabbit that would never be cuddled by any child. It shouldn't be *seen* by any child, either!" - Hudson hears the animatronic rabbit speak, but it speaks in the Southern accent that his mean-spirited teacher Mr. Atkin had. The thing berates him, telling him that it "would explain all this to him, if only [Hudson] weren't too stupid to understand." - Deciding it's all in his head, since he frequently has similar episodes, Hudson drags himself away from the animatronic rabbit and goes back to his usual security rounds. But, in the main room, he sees the statue replica's of the Fazbear characters open their mouths and start singing. While he's distracted, Hudson is attacked by something from behind, which triggers a memory of himself getting beaten around by his stepdad. When Hudson gets his bearings again, he sees that he's alone in the room. He's still injured though, and an arcade game that he was pushed into is damaged. - Hudson picks up a hammer, deciding to use it as a weapon. - He notices that the animatronic rabbit is missing now, despite it being attached to a wall earlier. - Hudson is dragged around through the bathroom by phantom hands, his head forced into a toilet, and he hears the voices of his school bullies laughing at his misery. He fights back and finally opens his eyes again, forcing himself out of the hallucinations of his past. - Angrily, Hudson begins yelling into the air around him, asking the building what it wants from him. He picks up his hammer again and starts to leave, and is startled when he hears someone laughing at him. Looking up, Hudson finds Springtrap looking down at him from an opening in the ceiling vent, laughing at him. Hudson hurls the hammer up at him, then climbs up into the vents, giving chase against the rabbit thing. - While only a handful of hallucinations in, Hudson is already losing grip on reality, and is having a hard time remembering where he is - searching for a missing animatronic in Fazbear's Fright, hiding from school bullies, or hiding from his stepdad in his mom's house. Everything is bleeding together for him, and he's kind of just... crawling through the vents after Springtrap, giggling to himself for no reason. - He runs into several animatronic heads in the vent system, for some reason, each one a different character from the Freddy's restaurants. - The parts of a Chica animatronic come together from where they've been scattered throughout different packing boxes, forming enough of Chica for her to grab onto Hudson and refuse to let go. Hudson hears Faith's voice speak to him when he looks at the re-assembled Chica parts holding him, her voice repeating over and over "I like you." He begins hallucinating Faith in place of Chica. - Backstage, Hudson throws Chica off of himself, and she flies back, landing in a pile of other animatronic parts. The other animatronic parts come to life, and proceed to rip her apart, reminding Hudson of piranha fish. - The kitchen is a real kitchen, allowing them to cater to connecting party venues. Hudson heads there next, looking to arm himself with some cooking knives. He continues to hear Mr. Atkin's voice berate him at every turn, calling him "stupid" with regular intervals. - Hudson realizes that his ring of keys is missing, and he must have lost it somewhere during his hallucinations. - Hudson is attacked by animatronic mouths that waterfall out of a vent shaft, not attached to anything, and hears Mr. Atkin's voice coming from the assorted mouths. The mouths circle him and begin relentlessly attacking him with words. Hudson can't tell what's real and what's not, and begins to babble, cry, and wet himself when the evil mouths begin to jumping onto him, biting at him and climbing all over him. - Hudson slowly comes back to himself after awhile of rocking and crying on the floor. There are no mouths, and there's no evidence of anything that's happening being real. But, just as Hudson begins to get his bearings again, something grabs him, and he's forced back into another memory, reliving being beaten by his stepdad. His wrist is broken in the process, mirroring the injury his stepdad had given him years ago. - Animatronic parts point and laugh at Hudson as he lays on the floor. Their arms wave his weapons around, showing how hopelessly disarmed he is. - Springtrap walks around in the background while Hudson slowly drags himself back to reality. Hudson panics when he sees that the rabbit animatronic is walking toward the butcher knife that he abandoned, and forces his injured body and fevered brain to work well enough to get to the knife before the rabbit does. He gets himself cut by the knife, and remembers his stepdad cutting him with a knife years ago, and starts to run through the halls screaming. - Hudson is extremely confused, and, while he gets the idea that Springtrap cut him with the knife, he isn't sure if that's what happened or if he cut himself while in the throes of acting out the awful memories circling around in his head. Uncertainly, he starts to tend to his assorted injuries, then tries to figure out how to leave this building. - Springtrap looks out at Hudson from behind the curtains of Pirate's Cove, and Hudson starts running again. As he reaches the first hallway, he sees Springtrap hanging on the wall, right where it's supposed to be, looking as though it has never moved. - Hudson makes it to the front lobby and gift shop of the attraction, making temporary bandages for himself by using kitchen towels and Chica-themed headbands from the gift shop. - He suffers through more hallucinations of his deceased stepfather abusing him, and gets thrown into the wall, pain lancing across his entire back. He doesn't see any attacker, although he mentally attributes his attack to Springtrap. - He tries to make it to the front door of the attraction, only to find it blocked and guarded by an army of plushies. (This is also a mimicry of a sad moment from his childhood, when Lewis used Hudson's own toys to trap him in his room for hours.) - Looking back into the kitchen, Hudson's fevered mind thinks he'll "be safe from Lewis in the fireplace." He associates fire with his granny and with safety, so that's where this is coming from. - "Heat purges. Fire heals." - Hudson climbs into one of the industrial ovens in the kitchen, and closes it behind him. He slowly remembers how he had stolen Lewis's lighter on the night of the fire, and admits to himself that, although by accident, he actually *did* set his own home on fire, causing serious injury to himself and killing his mother and stepfather. He also begins hallucinating his granny's voice from somewhere, and thinks she sounds sad. - The oven kicks on somehow, and Hudson is unable to get out. - Dwayne and Barry come in to work a few hours later, now that it's morning. They're immediately alarmed when they don't see Hudson anywhere, and they smell something burning. Nothing is out of place (letting us know that Hudson didn't experience anything real at all during the night). They follow the strange smell to the kitchen, and the story ends before they reach it. - ... Okay, there's a lot to unpack here. Basically, what I think happens, is that William's body (Springtrap) is found, but he's either dormant inside or he's truly dead, but, due to the nature of his death and how this world seems to work, his Remnant and Agony are still clinging to him. (Remember, these are physical things in this world, and can be passed between people via close proximity / touch.) Springtrap is put on display, and many people touch it and move it around, but Hudson is the only one to check inside the animatronic and touch William's actual corpse. - I think that, because of this contact, Hudson picked up some of William's residual Agony or Remnant, one of the two, and it interacted with his trauma-fueled mind, bringing all of his fears and terrors to life for a Hellish two hours straight. Hudson loses all grip on reality partway through the story, but even *he* knows that most of what's happening is freaky visual hallucinations, drawn from his fears of the animatronics around him, and audio hallucinations, drawn from his memories and traumatic past. - Furthermore, I think that, when Hudson kills himself by climbing into an active oven (unclear if he turned it on himself or not), his released Agony may, in turn, reawaken William, who is the only other un-alive person nearby and that Agony has to go somewhere. (This is just my speculation for the order of events. Take it or leave it.) - So, it's possible that, if a person is already prone to episodic hallucinations or suffers from PTSD (like Hudson here), exposure to Agony/Remnant can worsen the problems to ridiculous degrees. (Which is interesting, since William, Michael, and Crying Child Afton all seem prone to hallucinations in the games, and are also exposed to Agony/Remnant. This theory could explain some of why they all seem to hallucinate so vividly, Mike in FNAF3, CC in FNAF4, and William in Sister Location.) - For a hot second there I thought Hudson would turn out to be a stand-in for Henry's son from the novels, Sammy. The story started talking about Hudson's father "running a local small business" and "taking his own life when it tanked," which made me think of Henry's story from the original novels. So I thought Hudson could be a stand-in for Sammy, who survives William's initial killing spree but falls victim to the man at a later date, but now I don't think that's the case. I think Hudson is just another unfortunate employee for Fazbear's Entertainment, and another victim of this terrible company's work. - ... But it *is* interesting that the two characters from this book that gave me vague Henry's kids vibes (Angel and Hudson) similarly suffer from an emotionally absent mom and an abusive stepfather. I don't think it means anything, lore-wise, but it's an interesting coincidence. - Also, it's worth noting that Springtrap isn't alive/mobile at all during the story. He's a red herring. Hudson injures himself while unintentionally recreating injuries he remembers being inflicted upon him years before, and then blames those injuries on the animatronic that scares him the most: Springtrap. But, much like in the actual FNAF3 game, ol' Willy boy isn't an actual threat. - William, hanging from a wall, (assuming he's at all awake/aware of what's around him), watching a grown man night guard run around crying, screaming, and injuring himself: "... Nope. Not getting involved."

--------------------------------------------------

"Book 8 Epilogue"

- Det. Larson wakes up in the hospital, after the Stitchwraith fixed him up and ran off. He's being tended to by a dark-haired, green-eyed nurse named Anita Starlight with a chipper attitude, who tells him he had a bad infection and has been through a surgery. She tells him his infection was strange, but apparently died off from the heat of whatever cauterized his stomach wound. The doctor comes in, but he doesn't have any explanation for the infection. - The Stitchwraith has left a hand-sized burn on Larson's abdomen. - Unable to go back to work, Larson spends his days with his son, Ryan. - Larson had previously assumed that the Stitchwraith was possessed by William Afton, but now rethinks his assumption. He doesn't know who or what the Stitchwraith is, but he thinks it might be on his side. - Larson's physical injuries are healing, but he's starting to have weird mental episodes, during which he's seeing visions of past events from his youth. In the background of each of these episodes is a strange ball pit that's sitting somewhere in an abandoned building, and he feels like he's laying at the bottom of the ball pit himself, covered in something gross and sticky and the plastic balls sticking to him. He also smells pizza all the time. - The Freddy's animatronics floor show used to include altered versions of '80s radio hits. This has nothing to do with anything, but I thought it was a fun little detail. - Larson decides to hunt down this ball pit. He spends several days searching through old restaurants and arcades, looking for the ball pit that keeps plaguing his thoughts. He finally finds it in the old shambles of what used to be "Jeff's Pizza" (from "Into the Pit"). He's more surprised that the thing actually exists than that he found it. - He realizes that some of the balls in the ball pit have decades old blood on them, and decides to take them as evidence to study further. - (I think what we're going to eventually learn is that Andrew is connected to the ball pit somehow - either that's where he died or that's where his body was hidden - and Andrew is trying to communicate with Larson via these visions, or something.) - Meanwhile, Stitchwraith Jake is happy because he's found a bigger, warmer cloak to keep himself hidden in. It's been over a week since the battle against the Afton Amalgamation, and the loss of Andrew, and Jake is very sad and lonely without his spiritual roommate. - Jake is thrown against a homeless man when he tries to avoid being seen by a police squad car, and, after a moment of panic, is pleasantly surprised when his touch doesn't kill the man. Instead, he finds himself inside the man's mind, seeing all of his memories. He smiles when he sees the man's memories of spending time with his wife and kids, but then almost cries when he sees the man's memories of the car crash that killed his entire family. Wanting to help the man with his grief, Jake wills one of the happy memories to become the prominent memory in the man's mind. Jake accomplishes this by imagining the happy day memory "filling up like a balloon." (Like how the children's Happiest Day endings are always depicted with balloons.) - When police officers come looking too close, Jake slips through a small door in a brick wall behind him, and ends up in a storage room of some kind. Inside, he finds another homeless person, this one a teenage girl with long red-brown hair and unnaturally pale skin. (We later learn she has blue eyes.) He recognizes her as being a drug addict, and decides to leave her his cloak and a drink of clean water. Before he can, two skinny men come into the room, and Jake realizes that they are drug dealers and a threat to the girl on the floor, who apparently owes them money. - Jake acts to defend the girl and, when the men see the Stitchwraith bearing down on them, they begin shaking and begging. Jake is overcome with anger and violent feelings that aren't his own, and throws both men harshly against walls and the floor, and burns one of the men's face. He then gathers the girl in his arms and carries her away, looking to find a safe place to take her. - Later, the drug dealer victims of Jake's end up in the ER, unconscious as their injuries are treated. An ER doctor starts to clean the blood off of one of them, and is alarmed when she sees that someone (Jake) had cut the words "Just say 'no!'" into the man's forehead. - Jake finds an abandoned maintenance shed on the edge of town, and lays the girl inside, blanketing her and letting her rest in safety. He wants to keep her safe, and he stands guard over her while she sleeps. - Something climbs over the shed's walls and room, making metallic sounds. - Interesting that Jake sees a random girl and immediately wants to protect her at all costs, and is willing to land people in the hospital over her. Very out of character for him. - The girl's description made me think of Circus Baby's original design (super pale, red-brown hair, blue eyes). I don't know if that's important or if it's just a coincidence.

#five nights at freddy's #fazbear frights #a brief analysis #my thoughts

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collectionofuselessinformation · 5 years

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The Disney Princesses- Ranked

I wrote a college research essay and project on this, so I know a teeny bit

ALSO DISCLAIMER I LOVE THEM ALL

10. Aurora

Sleeping Beauty 1959

Aurora, while iconic, is probably the most passive out of all the Disney Princesses. She merely reacts to things happening to her, and bases her future on a literal dream. Furthermore, she only has eighteen minutes of screen time, meaning that she’s only in 24 percent of her film. However, Rebecca-Anne C. Do Rozario in her essay, “The Princess and the Magic Kingdom: Beyond Nostalgia, the Function of the Disney Princesses,” makes very interesting points about Sleeping Beauty itself. Coming out right at the beginning of the sixties, it’s one of the first mainstream films to feature teenage rebellion, and Prince Phillip and Aurora are showcases of the American teenager. She compares Prince Phillip to James Dean, while he himself is a very strong character that rebels against his father and societal norms. She also compares Aurora to the brand new Barbie of the fifties, noting on their similar appearances. She calls Aurora a prototype baby boomer- which I thought was very interesting.

10. Ariel

The Little Mermaid 1989

TO BE REAL, their all great, so sorry for putting some of these women low on the list. But getting down to business (to defeat the huns), Ariel is a very problematic character and frankly, a bad role model. I love The Little Mermaid, and Ariel was my favorite for a long time (because she’s a mermaid and that is bad ass), but her behavior is very unsettling. She is willing to give up everything she has every known to be with a man she has only met once, and completely changes herself for him. While the movie is great, Ariel might even be more submissive than the earlier princesses, because she goes through such great lengths to change herself for a dude. HOWEVER, I did see a post somewhere once that said that not only was she chasing Eric, but also her dream to see land, which is legitimate and makes her better.

9. Cinderella

Cinderella 1950

There’s not much to write home about Cinderella. She’s iconic and great, but doesn’t do that much. Again, another passive character. I love her anyway though.

8. Jasmine

Alladin 1992

First of all let me say that I love Jasmine, but she’s got some issues. I might get some backlash for putting Jasmine so low on the list, but hear me out. I can’t figure out why she’s even a crowned princess, as one of the requirements according to Illinois State University is to be the main character, but she is not the main character in Aladdin... Aladdin is. That being said, she is a very strong female character that rebels against societal norms, those being to get married. While she is very much a damsel in distress on multiple occasions, however, her sassy attitude is quite iconic. She’s very much a plot device to push Alladin through his hero’s journey.

7. Snow White

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 1937

Snow White is the girl that started it all. She’s a lot like Aurora, in that she just sort of reacts to things happening to her, both movies also have women that fall asleep and are woken by true love’s kiss. Do Rozario has some interesting things to say about Snow White too. She says that Snow White is representative of an old Hollywood starlet, looking like a silent movie star crossed with a flapper. Furthermore, this movie came out during the Great Depression, and seeing a princess pulled from poverty was a hopeful story for the American public during the time. Snow White did so much for Disney and the film industry, she’s truly iconic.

6. Tiana

The Princess and the Frog 2009

This is where it gets tricky, because from here on out, all the Disney Princesses are fantastic women. Tiana herself is the most realistic princesses, with big dreams and the actually will power to make it happen. She is the fist black princess, an enormous milestone, and is the first princess to not only dream big, but do the grunt work to make it happen.

5. Belle

Beauty and the Beast 1991

Belle is great. I don’t like her too much though because in fourth grade I was in a production of Beauty and the Beast Jr. and I was a plate and I got SO SICK of the music. Be Our Guest, a great song, is ruined for this nine year old plate. Putting that aside, Belle is an extremely intelligent woman. She’s not a warrior, which is ok!! A woman doesn’t have to kick ass to be a bad ass, and Belle is full of love and acceptance. She is capable of looking past an outer exterior into an inner self, something not many people are capable of, and is maybe the most compassionate princess, (even if she’s a little stuck up in Provincial Life).

4. Rapunzel

Tangled 2010

Rapunzel is awesome, and is a low key warrior. She, like all the other princesses, is a dreamer. Rapunzel, like Tiana, has the willpower to make her dreams happen. She is sweet and charming while still having the capability to kick ass and take names, and is such a fun character to watch on screen.

3. Mulan

Mulan 1998

Ok this is just me being a nitpick bitch, but Mulan bothers me just a teeny bit BECAUSE SHES NOT ROYALTY. She’s Savior of China and she marries a general, but is not royalty. According to Illinois State University, to be a Disney Princess, one must be royal, marry a royal, or commit a heroic action (even though that last thing literally only exists so Mulan can be a princess). But thats just me being a perfectionist. ANYWAY, putting that aside, Mulan is great. Like I said, she is Savior of China, which is a huge deal. She’s a straight up bad ass and warrior, and she HARDCORE rebels against societal norms. She’s just straight up awesome.

2. Pocahontas

Pocahontas 1995

Ya’ll are sleeping on Pocahontas. She’s incredible. Pocahontas is a strong and confident woman, who stays true to herself and her people while single handedly stopping a massacre-like war from happening. She also saves John Smith, who is SUCH a damsel in distress, which is awesome. She cares about the environment, all her songs are jams, and the movie is so beautifully animated. Pocahontas is just wonderful.

1. Merida

Brave 2012

Again, ya’ll are sleeping on Merida. She’s a straight up warrior, and doesn’t give a shit about the societal expectations placed on her. She defies the place of the ancient Scottish woman, and is a flawed character. She’s selfish and hard headed, and she has to save her mother from a mess she herself created. She has the most dramatic character development, and grows tremendously throughout the film. The movie also does not focus on a romantic relationship, but rather one between a mother and daughter. Furthermore, Merida is the only Disney Princess without a love interest, and ends the movie independently.

BTW: these are the OFFICIALLY CROWNED PRINCESSES. Moana, Elsa, and Anna, are NOT Disney Princesses.

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plumbobpost · 6 years

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Fanfic Friday: Spotlight on Skell’s Fortune & Romance

Sul sul!

Today Week of Woohoo continues with a very special twist. I have had the opportunity to ask Skell a few questions as part of a new series of posts about storytelling in The Sims community.

Skell’s Fortune & Romance serves as a prequel to the Pleasantview and Strangetown storylines in The Sims 2 from the perspectives of the Caliente sisters, hence the title which references their aspirations. Her story takes place in the time period between the first and second games and fills in the gaps between the contradicting timelines of The Sims, The Sims 2, and The Sims 3. Although the story is largely from Dina’s perspective, it features most of the iconic The Sims 2 characters ranging from Olive Specter to the Tricous to Bella and Mortimer Goth, establishing its own vivid mythology in the process.

In addition to writing, Skell has also created beautiful Maxis-Match content for The Sims 2 and is a frequent contributor to the Totally Maxis Tumblr and the fansite Garden of Shadows.

Without further ado, I’ll let Skell speak for herself.

You’ve said in the past that Fortune & Romance started out as your attempt to make sense of Maxis canon for the premade characters of Neighborhood 1, Pleasantview, and Sunset Valley. How did this evolve from your personal headcanons into a full-fledged story?

“I had played TS2 off and on for years before I was part of the fandom, mostly just goofing around but I had a lot of fun taking pictures and experimenting with posing. One day I discovered Strangetomato’s “Strangetown Here We Come” on TVtropes and was amazed at the way she fleshed out the premade stories from the game. Through her comment section, I discovered the whole fandom and started paying better attention to the premades. Eventually I came up with a backstory for Dina that I really wanted to write and share.”

Why did you choose Nina and Dina Caliente to be your protagonists? Did you ever consider different lead characters?

“It was always gonna be Dina because I was intrigued her backstory with the mysteriously inconsistent Michael Bachelor and the fact that she’s part alien. I wasn’t as interested in Nina until I noticed that she was shy (like me in RL) and also autonomously beating people up all the time. That’s when I realized she was gonna be a co-star and balance to Dina’s antics.”

Instead of ignoring Maxis’ characterization of Dina as a gold digger, you embraced it and made it a focal point of her character. Similarly, you fully acknowledge Nina’s romance aspiration while not making her a heartbreaker. How did you find a balance between their implied “villainy” in The Sims 2 and making them more sympathetic characters?

“I enjoy classic movies where Marilyn Monroe or Thoroughly Modern Millie is like “teehee I’m gonna marry a millionaire,” and it’s quirky rather than villainous. In those stories, she usually falls for a poor guy and chooses love over money (and often he turns out to be secretly rich.) Since Michael didn’t give her a “married a rich sim” memory, I wanted to write Dina the gold-digger as a modern version of that kind of story.”

“Maxis kind of setup Romance sims for “villainy” by not allowing for casual or open relationships, but of course that can be fixed with mods. With Nina, it’s interesting that she doesn’t really fit the “outgoing party girl” type. I think of her as a quiet person with a very intense energy. She needs lots of exercise and woohoo so that she doesn’t explode.”

There are a lot of unconventional relationships in your story. Nina and Servo. Olive and Ichabod. The Tricous. Even Dina and Michael. That being said, there is very definitely a theme of “love conquers all.” What motivated your approach to these relationships? How does that relate back to your attempts at reconciling Maxis canon throughout different games?

“I have a thing for mixed supernatural relationships. Dina and Mike bonding over their hidden supernatural heritages was always key once I figured Michael had a magic side. I knew I wanted to have Nina be intimate with a servo because that’s HAWT, but I didn’t foresee how intimate things would get until I figured out Servo’s character. The Tricous’ happy polyamory was my explanation for all the weirdness going on with their relationships and family tree. And I wanted Olive, Ichabod, and DJ make up this very loving and weirdly “normal” Unholy Family.”

Speaking of reconciling Maxis canon, you created your own version of Michael Bachelor in order to match his appearance in The Sims better and to create a resemblance between him and his famous sister, Bella Goth. Why do you think Michael was depicted so differently throughout the first three games? What did you draw inspiration from in creating “The Ultimate Michael Bachelor?”

“I think it mostly comes down to them wanting to use a familiar name for Bella’s brother/Dina’s husband in TS2, and carrying that forward. In TS3, I saw a boy who had his life all planned out for him by his father. In my headcanon, he screwed that all up and became the graduate of TS1 who had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. His relationship to Bella is the reason why he’s still single by the time he reconnects with Dina, who helps him find direction.”

There is an abundance of strong female characters in F&R, some of which were not originally portrayed that way. Why did you feel that it was important to write them as such?

“Well, because I’m a proud “SJW,” of course! But seriously, it’s less about being strong and more about seeing them as people?”

^Best answer that I could have asked for.

A large portion of Fortune & Romance is dedicated to the mythology of The Sims universe(s) and to supernatural sims. How did you go about the process of world building? Did you draw inspiration from different games in the series and/or from outside sources?

“My biggest worldbuilding is the explanation of where the supernaturals came from. The fairies are sort of fallen angel types who each have an animal form, and their magic rubbed off on human sims to create the supernatural life states.”

“I try to base the worldbuilding off things in game or aspects of game play. The fairy backstory was heavily inspired by fairy tales, in the way they morally test humans for punishment or guidance.”

Aside from premade supernatural sims such as the Smiths, Calientes, and Summerdreams, how did you go about deciding which premade sims were supernatural and which weren’t? How did you decide what life state they were?

“Bella has that awesome bio about being descended from “occultists, decadents, and mystics,” but then in TS3 the Bachelor family is uber-normal, so it eventually became that Jocasta is a squirellier version of Samantha from Betwitched.”

How has Fortune & Romance evolved since you started? Are there things you would do differently if you were to restart it?

“I was such a younger, different person when I started it, and yes there are many things I would do differently. (Michael’s skintone, for example. I tried to split difference between games with a custom skintone in between S2 and S3, but everyone assumes he was whitewashed to S2.)”

“When recreating families for TS4 I came up with a backstory for Dulcinea and Nestor’s relationship as well as a backstory for Don that explains how he got to be the way he is. I still can incorporate these things, but it would have been nice to bring them in earlier.”

With your story having reached a climax, many readers are wondering whether or not F&R will come to an end sooner rather than later. Not to spoil anything, but will the story continue after the party and if so, do you intend for it to last until the events of The Sims 2?

“I never intended for it to last until the events of TS2 because then it would be really depressing. There is more stuff planned for after the party though!”

Aside from writing Fortune & Romance, you have also created a variety of Maxis-match custom content. Why do you prefer working in this aesthetic? How do you feel it complements your writing?

“The game is cartoony, and I like to use that style to tell the story. I prefer to keep things heightened and silly rather than realistic, which very much fits into The Sims aesthetic.”

Speaking of Maxis-match, you have been working on a project for The Sims 2 that involves adapting Maxis-based custom content to blend in better with the game files. Would you mind elaborating a bit on The Maxis Match Repository Project?

“The TS2 repository project is made up of conversions/separates/or otherwise adapted Maxis which pull their textures from the ones that are already in your game, rather than creating new ones. This makes the files much much tinier. I also wanted to create a catalog where you can easily find it all in one place rather than hunt all over the internet. Check it out and don’t miss out on the gems in the back of your catalog!”

You’ve played every main game in The Sims franchise, and you’ve even made some very popular 2t4 recreations of the Calientes and Michael Bachelor. Do you have a favorite game for playing? Creating sims? Making Content? Building?

“I enjoy a lot of things about TS4. The game looks great and CAS and Build Mode are the best of any game. My favorite aspect is making sims, especially that you can share sims with traits/careers/skills so they have their own little story packaged with them. However, it is much more difficult for storytelling since there’s not even a way to pick up sims and move them around.”

“TS2 is still the best as far as premade sims go, and it’s the only one I make content for. I’m a bit of a control freak with my sims, and TS2 has been mastered by fans at this point where you can have ultimate control.”

Why do you continue to play The Sims? Do you feel that the games provide a creative outlet?

“I always loved playing with Barbies as a kid and The Sims really is the ultimate dollhouse. The first time I ever heard about TS1 I knew I HAD to have it. My aunt bought it for me while I was on vacation, but I couldn’t play it until we got home! During the car ride back home and I read that manual from cover to cover multiple times, so many ideas buzzing in my head.”

Any parting comments, teasers, spoilers, public service announcements, etc.?

“I’ve been on hiatus a long while and am just now getting back into the swing of things. I’m currently working on finishing up the chapter I started posting on Tumblr but never finished. It was FreddyAirmail who got me back in the TS2 spirit by asking me to help out with the Crystal Springs neighborhood project. It’s a community hood with houses based on each of the Stuff Packs, and I made the families for Teen Style and Family Fun!”

Thanks again to Skell for answering my questions. To those of you out there who aren’t familiar with her work, go check out her Tumblr and make sure to catch up on Fortune & Romance.

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, feel free to visit my ask box. If you are interested, give Plumbob Post a follow, and reblog for anyone else who you think would enjoy this blog. Stay tuned for upcoming posts!

Dag dag!

*Photo Credits go to Skell*

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news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog · 5 years

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Here's what you need to know about those CGI influencers invading your feed

Human influencers like Bella Hadid and Kendall Jenner might want to secure their positions in the influencer realm before they get ousted by glorified Sims.

That's right: There are now computer generated images that do exactly what human influencers do. There's a human behind each one — coming up with captions and manually generating the content — though it can be unclear who exactly that person is. The financial threads are equally hazy, but you can be sure that someone is making money off of these "people."

According to CBS, the digital influencer market is set to reach $2 billion in the next two years. The scariest thing is just how convincing these artificial influencers really are: 42 percent of people who were following a digital Instagrammer didn't realize it wasn't a real person, according to a recent study by the media company Fullscreen.

SEE ALSO: 'Alita: Battle Angel' is relevant for cyborgs and humans alike

I set out to understand who exactly these new influencers are, and why they exist. That involved interacting with them — or at least trying to. The feeling of being left on read by people who don't exist is a unique one. It also made me feel like they're hiding something. But here's what we know ... so far.

Rest assured, they'll either save us from the digital malaise we’ve all scrolled ourselves into, or destroy us further.

Lil Miquela, 1.5 million followers

Lil Miquela, or Miquela Sousa, is a perpetually 19-year-old girl from Downey, California. She has all the necessary ingredients for Insta-success: good looks, flashy clothing, a nonexistent yet bottomless bank account, and a passion for activism. It's easy to forget you're looking at a bot when reading her captions, which are sprinkled with witty remarks and relatable musings. "No lie, I wish I’d been assembled in the ’90s ..." she quips, echoing the very human desire to be from another time. It's part of what makes her so popular — and so uncanny.

View this post on Instagram

So am I just going to have crushes on everyone this year? That’s how it’s gonna be, huh? Cool, cool.

A post shared by *~ MIQUELA ~* (@lilmiquela) on Jan 4, 2019 at 5:08pm PST

The algorithmic babe was named one of the 25 most influential people on the internet by Time last year, alongside Busy Philips and Logan Paul. (She was the only non-human to make the cut.) It's safe to say the integration of bot personalities into the mainstream has begun.

In addition to being an influencer, she’s also a singer and merch seller. Miquela has around 52,000 monthly listeners on Spotify. Not bad for someone who doesn’t exist in the physical realm.

And the merch? Socks from Club 404, Lil Miquela's overpriced swag brand, will run you $30 for two pairs.

But wait a second, why CGI influencers?

Before we introduce more of these new age avatars, it's important to understand how they came to be. Cue Brud. And Cain Intelligence.

Brud is the LA-based tech startup credited with Miquela's existence. It's described as a "transmedia studio that creates digital character driven story worlds," whatever that means. Other than that, it's pretty much a mystery. We do know that it was founded by two people: Sara DeCou and Trevor McFedries, neither of whom could be reached for comment.

Cain Intelligence is even more of a mystery. Founded by Daniel Cain, who may or may not be real, the company is another startup. It describes itself as "the industry leader in Conscious Language Intelligence (CLI), a type of Artificial Intelligence that allows for humans to engage with our specialized robots in free-format, natural language." The website feels bleak and dark, something a villain in a spy movie would create. (It's also pro-Trump.)

If you're reading this and you're confused, that's sort of the point. Lil Miquela and Blawko, another CGI influencer, are characters created by Brud. Bermuda, also a CGI influencer, was made by Cain Intelligence. Allegedly. But wait: Bermuda now has Brud's Instagram page tagged in her own bio, followed by the message "Look closer"; likewise, Brud's bio identifies Bermuda as a client. Seems like Cain was a marketing hoax to launch Bermuda and her right-wing agenda? As a scheme to get attention for the entire CGI universe Brud has created, it seems to have worked.

The only person I was able to get in contact with about these three CGI influencers was Jemma Litchfield from Huxley, the creative agency that represents Miquela, Bermuda, and Blawko. In an email, she said she "looked after Miquela." She said they weren't doing interviews, but she'd fact check for me, if I'd like. She didn't offer any clarification about Brud or Cain Intelligence, but instead shifted some sentences around and corrected my first-draft grammar.

Perhaps the enigmatic nature of Brud and Cain is the reason their influential prototypes have become so successful and so followed. Curiosity today usually leads to a Google search. But when there's no information available beyond what you already know, it can prompt a fascination. Or frustration.

Anyway, meet Miquela's digital squad: Bermuda and Blawko.

Bermuda, 133k followers

Bermuda is a controversial blonde known for stirring the digital pot. She's pro-Trump and describes herself as a "robot supremacist." She also once hacked Miquela's page, which gained followers for both of them, pushing Miquela past the 1 million mark, a milestone that opens up a lot of doors in influencer world, including lucrative brand deals with prominent designers.

Now Bermuda and Miquela are friends who hang out, go to lunch, and put makeup on each other— digitally.

View this post on Instagram

💚💚💚 Decided to give Twitter another try. I’m BermudaIsBae there, too. 💚💚💚 In a great mood today and I hope you all are, too. Mwah!

A post shared by Bermuda (@bermudaisbae) on Nov 12, 2018 at 5:27pm PST

Blawko, 135k followers

Miquela and Bermuda are joined by another Brud-born character, Blawko, whom they both seem smitten with. Just like Miquela and Bermuda, he offers an eerily authentic personality. He plays video games, goes on dates, and doesn't clean his room. As for the bizarre love triangle between him, Miquela, and Bermuda ... Are we supposed to imagine them in compromising positions? Is this a clear representation of CGI flirtation by default? We're not really sure!

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heaux heaux heaux

A post shared by 🅱️LAWKO (@blawko22) on Dec 20, 2018 at 3:34pm PST

Aside from the Brud crowd, there are other CGI influencers out there in the digital space.

Lil Wavi, 12.1k followers

If you squint, Instagram user @lil_wavi might seem like just another Soundcloud rapper-looking hypebeast, dressed in the latest streetwear and spattered with tattoos. Upon further inspection, you'll see he's a digitally-rendered avatar in human clothing. His graphics give off an edgy early-2000s Sims vibe. Since he "lives in a computer," he can get his hands on expensive pieces of designer clothing that he describes as "the drip" and cites as his main draw. "I’m all about innovation, encouraging creativity, pushing minds to think out of the shitty boundaries," he — or, rather, the unidentified human speaking for him — told Mashable over email. "I want my fans to be influenced in that way. It’s important to me that I am sending positive vibes out to them all."

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Flameboyyyy 🛸🏴‍☠️ yuhhh my $$ fly 💸💸💸 y’all ready for merch?

A post shared by 🛸LIL WAVI🛸 (@lil_wavi) on Jan 28, 2019 at 10:05am PST

Noonoouri, 279k followers

Brand deals and fashion show appearances abound for this influencer. It's unclear how a digital avatar can attend IRL events, but a quick scroll of her page will show her doing just that. Noonoouri takes her role as influencer very seriously. When Vogue Australia asked about her favorite beauty products, she answered, "I love KKW Beauty contour and highlight — they truly work!" Since she's done ads — on YouTube and on Instagram — for KKW Beauty before, it's no surprise that she would plug the products. What's surprising is that a digital persona who looks straight out of a Pixar short is using makeup and getting paid for it.

Joerg Zuber, Noonoouri's creator, spent several years making her before debuting the influencer on Instagram. A visit to her page suggests she was recently in Africa for a number of fashion-related appearances. And she's from Paris, France, according to her Instagram bio. "I am who I am. If I can help or support others I am very happy. I believe in swarm intelligence. In times like these we need to share and not to hold back," she told Mashable via email.

"I have a real soul," says Noonoouri.

Image: Joerg zuber

Shudu, 172k followers

Self-identified as "The World's First Digital Supermodel," Shudu was created by beauty photographer Cameron James Wilson as an art project. She blew up when her image was featured on Rihanna's Fenty Beauty Instagram page. In the photo, she's modeling one of the buzzy beauty line's lip products and smizing for the ... computer? Though she's more model than influencer, her likeness is used to sell, too. Shudu doesn't have a personality, per se, but it's because Wilson hasn't come across a human that could do her justice — yet: "Only someone similar to Shudu would be appropriate to tell her story, and really shape who she is as ‘person,’" he mused to Mashable via email. He supports the movement to create more digital supermodels like Shudu: "It doesn’t matter who you are, if you study art and learn how to use 3D programs, you too can be a 6ft tall virtual runway model!"

View this post on Instagram

Shudu @thesavoylondon trying on beautiful #EEBAFTAs outfits, complete with @atelierswarovski earrings. 6 days to go till she shares #redcarpet looks with you all. . @ee @BAFTA . . #3D #3Dart #digitalsupermodel #worldsfirstdigitalsupermodel #virtualinfluencer #BTS

A post shared by Shudu (@shudu.gram) on Feb 4, 2019 at 11:07am PST

Barbie, 6.2 million subscribers

Here's a familiar face. The uber-popular icon that is Barbie has a digital counterpart, and she's a vlogger. Her first video, in which she introduces herself, went up in 2015. In it, she talks about being from Wisconsin (who knew?) and having a sister. "I've always just been curious about things," she shares earnestly, her huge animated eyes blinking like those of a human YouTuber. Since then, she's uploaded over 75 vlogs, most of which include her sister Skipper and boyfriend Ken, to the YouTube channel owned and operated by Mattel. Barbie is the OG influencer — she's known for doing a million different jobs and having fun while doing them. Why reinvent the wheel?

youtube

Balenciaga's digi-models

While you can't follow these influencers, they're worth mentioning. To show off their Spring 2019 collection on Instagram, Spanish fashion house Balenciaga utilized shape-shifting digital models made by artist Yilmaz Sen. In a series of short video clips on Instagram, the digital models sparked questions about the future of technology in fashion. With cool haircuts and names like Elsa and Ruben, everything about them screams high fashion. However, unlike human models that walk down runways, these models stand in place and distort themselves like they're made of rubber. Because all haute couture should be shown on computer-generated contortionist models!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Balenciaga (@balenciaga) on Nov 14, 2018 at 1:53am PST

What's next, then?

Tapping around on these digi-fluencer's pages provides an exciting, if not unsettling, look at the future of technology and the part it may play in pop culture. Some question the validity, appeal, and purpose of these bots. Perhaps it's performance art. Or maybe it's all just an elaborate stunt to leverage consumer action? YouTuber Shane Dawson has a popular video dedicated to uncovering the identity of Lil Miquela. He even calls her on the phone — only to be met with a clearly auto-tuned voice who's careful not to give anything away, or falter at all.

Liz Bacelar, a tech expert, mused to Forbes that we could potentially find ourselves living in a world in which we all have a digital avatar. And with facial recognition being insidiously installed in mundane places (like gas stations) in order to advertise, secure, and identify us, this may be sooner than we think. Just imagine, we'll be in self-driving cars, scrolling by digitized avatars trying to make us use their discount codes. Or perhaps we'll allow our digitized selves to live for us, like we've seen in futuristic movies like Ready Player One and Wall-E.

Think of your new CGI friends as the pixelated pioneers of a new, formulated frontier. Who knows? Maybe our human selves could be rendered virtually useless. For now, though, we can just keep an eye on Instagram.

WATCH: Dunkin' and Saucony release running shoe ahead of Boston Marathon

#_category:yct:001000002 #_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL #_uuid:8b8db620-cdb5-39b6-b9bd-f5de5787ae55 #_author:Harry Hill #_revsp:news.mashable

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kinetic-elaboration · 7 years

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April 19: i.Zombie Ranting

I wrote this long rant-y thing partially before I watched iZ.ombie 3x03 and partially after—which is to say it started out with a coherent over-arching idea and then just devolved into a straight up spew of barely-coherent anger.

Total honesty here: this is literally 1.6k of me hating on Ravi / Peyton. I don’t want to offend anyone and I also don’t want to clutter anyone’s dash so it’s all below the cut. You’re welcome.

I’m sorry but I’m actually not sorry at all: Ravi/Peyton is the WORST. Why am I supposed to like them? When I was supposed to board this ship?

Was it in S1, when they dated for like 3 days entirely off-screen, so we never got any sense of their dynamic, how they got on, how their personalities meshed?

Was it when Peyton left Seattle, suddenly, for months, without giving Ravi the slightest heads up, on the eve of their big going-away-together date?

Or how about when we did get some actual scenes of them in S2, during which we see them drinking heavily and Ravi regretting it the next day? Because that showed me, first, that they’re pretty incompatible in the one shared activity we’ve actually observed, and second, that they can’t even TALK about their incompatibility. Either Ravi doesn’t let on to Peyton that their drinking together is bad for him, or they’re just not around each other enough for her to have any chance to see its effects, or she does notice and doesn’t care (I assume it’s the second but IDK). In all cases, wow, I’m blown away by the chemistry, real OTP material.

Then of course we get into late S2/S3 territory where the great couple moments just pile on. There’s the time when Ravi is a total pissbaby about a sexual relationship she had when they weren’t even together. Wait, did I say “time”? I meant “times” as in pretty much constantly through the first two episodes and into the third. He acts like an immature little brat during a group conversation, embarrassing both himself and her by association. He’s so up his own ass he doesn’t even answer her call when she needs him—doesn’t even listen to her voicemail! When she was scared and needed a friend. I know, he was distracted by Major before he could listen to the message, but my point is that if he REALLY cared about her, if she really was so “”precious”” to him, he would have just answered the phone in the first place. Because talking to her would be more important than his issues with his own fragile sense of masculinity.

But of course Ravi doesn’t care about Peyton because he doesn’t know who she is. She’s Lawyer Barbie. She’s “precious” Peyton. She’s a series of benign, generic adjectives. She’s not the tough ADA who took on a crime boss pretty much by herself at great personal risk—she’s his sweet fragile Peyton, irredeemably sullied by murderer cock.

Oh and even into episode 3: negative bonus points here for using his “love” declaration—ridiculous because as already established he “loves” the idea of Peyton, not her as a person—as a way of getting his way in an argument he was losing. Way to manipulate the room, Ravi. Not selfish or dickish at all.

I really really hopped on the Ravi/Peyton train when he went to (allegedly) apologize her, started out by telling her that his time was more important than hers—she was literally on her way to a prior commitment, this is during the day, she’s at fucking work—then let his “I’m sorry” slide into “I’m sorry BUT” as if “I can’t stop creepily thinking about you and some other man” was a legitimate excuse for being a massive jerk to her for days, maybe weeks. Yes, he acknowledged some of the ways he was wrong, but as Peyton pointed out, he hasn’t really learned his lesson; there’s obviously still a part of him that thinks this is a two-way apology street, that they both were a little wrong.

I’ll be honest: I’ve never liked Ravi/Peyton. I never thought they had chemistry, and I never got why I was supposed to think they should be a thing (I still kinda think the viewer was supposed to like this couple in S1-S2).

And I’ll be further honest: I was neutral on Blaine/Peyton in S2 but now I’m 100% I-will-go-down-with-this-ship about them and I’m going to be bitter on a deeply personal level if this whole B/R/P love triangle shit ultimately comes down to using Blaine as an obstacle to Ravi/Petyon’s twoo wuv.

I don’t say any of this because I hate Ravi, even though it probably sounds like I hate Ravi a lot. I hate S3 Ravi. But this is all the more painful for me because S1 and S2 Ravi was my favorite character. He’s the nerdy eccentric best friend/side kick figure and that’s pretty much always my favorite character, plus he’s super hot, which is always nice. And I wouldn’t be opposed to a Ravi love interest—like the Ravi version of Clive/Dale, perhaps. (Or at least I wouldn’t have been opposed as of the end of S2, now I’m less sure.) But this side of Ravi we’re seeing in the Peyton story line is pretty much the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. He’s like one big walking Entitled Nice Guy stereotype: he thinks he deserves Peyton because, hey, he’s a good person! Good people get good things! He literally says as much before their make out at the end of S2, which pissed me off because I didn’t think the narrative should have rewarded him for that nonsense.

As far as what the narrative is doing now... I’m confused, honestly. At first, with the first “apology” scene, I was optimistic, because I felt like the narrative-through-Peyton was calling Ravi out on some first class shitty behavior.

But then…at the end… First, I felt like his love confession, as I said above, was super manipulative and I can’t tell if I was supposed to see it that way, or if I was supposed to see it as genuine and, like, relevant. Because even if it were true, it’s not relevant. Does loving someone excuse asshole behavior? Entitlement? Being a bad friend? NO! But the way it was framed, the big ‘surprise’ reaction everyone had, and then when she showed up later at his house all on edge about the state of their relationship…all of this made me think that the reaction of the audience was supposed to be “oh well it all makes sense NOW—he was acting so unconscionably because he was in LOVE and it made him all ~ crazy and shit lol silly man in love how romantic.”

I also severely disliked Petyon’s line in their last scene that the only thing stopping them from being together is him/how he’s acting. First of all, that’s not the only thing keeping them apart imo because they had no chemistry even before Blaine. But let’s just say that’s my personal opinion and set it aside. It’s just a nonsense sentence even if they did used to have a special connection. As if there were only two options in the world, nothing and Ravi, and as soon as Ravi lightens up she’ll just shoot toward him like a magnet because there’s no other possible mate out there for her (I’m not even talking about Blaine, I’m talking about, like, literally any single man in Seattle). As if the measure of someone’s character ISN’T their behavior but like some weird intangible Other Thing, like Ravi’s decidedly a Good Person and a Good Boyfriend except, you know, he acts like a shitty person all the time to her and has been nothing but an immature brat for the space of three episodes but if he just changes what seem to be his new main personality traits and becomes like a totally different person THEN it will be true love forever. As if she were the prize in his personal quest and as soon as he learns to be a Better Man, he’ll get the Pretty Girl because women aren’t people we’re objects to be won.

(I know she meant “it’s you that’s the problem” with an implied “it’s not Blaine who’s the problem” but like I stand by all of this because the line implies that she wants to be with him except for him being a Dick to her All the Time now and I just don’t get that--WHY?? WHY Peyton??)

Like look it’s not that hard: if a guy is consistently a jerk to you like Ravi has been to Peyton, you find a new guy.

(Also not to get tmi about this but my ex-bf was definitely the “omigod I’m obsessed with your prior hookups” kind of person and in my personal experience, this isn’t something someone just declares to be over and drops; it’s the kind of thing that sticks around and casts a dark shadow over an entire relationship.)

Finally, what to make of Ravi fucking Dr. Kupps or whoever? Because first of all I saw that coming. To me, with my reading of this entire situation, this is just another example of Ravi being Bad for Peyton, someone she should drop like so much dead weight. But the way he looked so ~sad after Peyton stormed out, like “oh poor me, woe is me, how could this decision I made myself as an autonomous agent have happened to poor innocent me?”, and the way the camera focused on him for such a long time, made me think I was supposed to see this little hiccup as just another obstacle between Ravi and the Attainment of his Goal—whoops I mean his happily ever after with the love of his life.

I’m not saying Ravi can’t learn and be better. But I’m going to need to see some ACTUAL learning and ACTUAL getting better, not just declarations that he’s cured of his Douchebaggery and some overly dramatic love declarations.

Again, like I said, Ravi was my favorite character for two seasons, so my perhaps excessive anger can partially be explained by feeling betrayed by a fictional person I used to love so much. (Not that there weren’t signs of this before: not just in his prior dealings with Peyton, but in, for example, how he dumped Stephanie the morning after—so uncool man.)

Upside: my favorite character is now Clive, and I don’t think he’ll ever betray me like this.

#the year 2017 #2017: fandom thoughts #dont get me wrong i still love this show #but like man all my buttons are so pressed rn #also my mom and i agree that clive is perfect and can do no wrong ever

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suckitsurveys · 7 years

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Lot’s of long answers in this one sorry not sorry.

1. Do you like zombie movies? Nah, I’m not into the whole zombie thing. <--Same. I do like Zombieland though.

2. What’s the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom? Used condoms.

3. What’s the most wasteful thing you regularly do? I use a lot of paper towels.

4. What’s the most difficult apology you’ve ever had to give? I’m not sure.

5. What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever seen? I HATE the whole “fighting is healthy” mentality. Yes, bickering is fine, but if you’re fighting all the time, that is not a healthy relationship AT ALL. If your partner is screaming and yelling you on a regular basis, that is borderline emotional abuse.

6. Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to? I haven’t. And definitely not, I hate hospitals.

7. What was your worst Halloween costume? All of my costumes have been pretty awesome. I was Lucy from Lucy, Daughter of the Devil one year and no one got it, but I still had fun with it.

8. Who has/had the worst reputation in your graduating class? Eh.

9. When was the first time you can remember feeling mature? I’ll let you know when that happens.

10. Have you ever had a disappointing Christmas, or any disappointing holiday if you don’t celebrate Christmas? Yeah. It’s kinda hard to talk about, but about 7 years ago my mother accidentally took her meds twice in the morning and she was completely out of it while opening presents. I got her a really nice chalkboard that she had wanted and she opened it and literally looked at it, said nothing, and put it down to open the next present, pretty much repeating what she did with mine. And when she did say stuff she was very incoherent. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to watch.

11. Do you have any character bandaids in your house right now, or just plain ones? There are some Batman ones that were mine at my dad’s still.

12. Have you ever had to give a pet away? Yes. My ex gave me a kitten like 2 weeks before we broke up. The cat was also born to a wild cat that his friends fed but didn’t house, so the cat was, well, wild. He would scratch and bite me in my sleep and probably had worms. And I was too depressed after being dumped to deal with the kitten and I felt SO horrible but I had to give him to a shelter. I really hope that kitty has a good home now.

13. What’s the junkiest junk food you’ve ever eaten? Oh man, I don’t know. Probably like loaded cheese fries or something. Or a fried Oreo.

14. Did you play pretend a lot as a child? Were there any recurring plots or themes? Yeah, I pretended a lotttttt. One of the biggest things I did was make cars in my dining room by setting up our chairs. I’d pretend to go on road trips with my dolls.

15. How do you feel about runny egg yolks? I’m not a huge fan but I don’t mind them. I’d rather them be firm.

16. Has a teacher ever tried to teach you something that was undeniably wrong? Yeah, my 7th grade math teacher was a JOKE.

17. If for some reason you had to give up one of your hobbies, which would you choose? Maybe Facebook?

18. Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family? I’ve definitely been in some online ones that I didn’t tell them about.

19. How much do you know about first aid? Not very much oops.

20. Which of your relatives do you know the least about? Hmm. Good question. The magic of Facebook has changed this dynamic recently. I used to not know anything about some of my second cousins but I have a lot of them on FB now, so I know at least a little about them. Maybe some of the family I have in TN?

21. Have you ever meditated? If so, did it do anything for you? Yeah. It was nice I guess? I supposed I do my own forms of meditating now, like relaxing in the tub or enjoying being outside.

22. Have you ever given advice to someone who was much older than you? Yeah.

23. Have you ever used a view-master? Yeah!

24. Do you ever listen to talk radio or podcasts? If you do, what are some of your favorite shows? Sometimes I’ll listen to NPR, and my favorite segments on that station are Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me and This American Life.

25. When was the last time you got ice cream from a truck? Oh it’s been a while. I’m hoping I can catch one this summer with my niece because she’d love that. We’ve gotten ice cream from one of those bicycle cooler things before and she thought it was so neat.

26. Are any of your favorite bands broken up or on hiatus right now? I don’t pay attention to that, haha. I do know Die Antwoord is going to break up at the end of the year or already did or something. Like I said, I have no idea about those things.

27. Do you know any sex workers? If so, how do they feel about their job? I did. She seemed to enjoy it.

28. What’s the biggest art project you’ve ever attempted? How did it go? Hmm. I can’t think of anything. Maybe my architecture final? That I did pass.

29. What kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live? Squirrels, birds, bunnies, raccoons, and unfortunately skunks.

30. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire? Yeah, we’ve cooked potatoes and corn in a fire before. And also hot dogs. Oh and beans one time too.

31. Are there any items in your house that you use for something other than its intended purpose? Hmm. Mark’s night stand is currently a storage box.

32. What do you hope the afterlife is like? I don’t know if I believe in that or not.

33. What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen from a child? One of the kids at the daycare my sister owns used to communicate displeasure well into his toddler years by SCREAMING and refusing to move. Like would stiffen up and just scream. He was a terror and my sister could not get him adjusted no matter what she tried, and the parents didn’t want to listen either.

34. Have you ever planned an act of revenge? Maybe little things as a kid. Like one time I was hanging out with my sister when I was about 9 or 10 and she was 18 ish, and then all of a sudden her boyfriend came over and they deserted me. They ordered Chinese food for just them and while they were upstairs, I poured an insane amount of garlic powder in it. But the joke ended up being on me because my sister then offered the leftovers to me. Haha.

35. Do you and your parents share any of the same hobbies? I mean, we enjoy doing things together, definitely. My dad and I go to Cubs games and watch movies and go out to eat together a lot. He also likes going on trips and so do I. But he’s definitely a lot more interested in music than I am. And golfing. When my mom was alive we enjoyed shopping together, and she liked trips and movies as well. She also collected antiques, which isn’t something I’m super interested in, but I do appreciate them.

36. Do you think it’s more exciting or scary to get older? Both.

37. How was the reception of the last wedding you attended? My sister’s wedding was basically one big reception in my dad’s backyard. It was SUPER laid back; there was a small ceremony and then afterwords we had a taco bar and my sister grilled the steak herself in her wedding dress. I loved that part haha. We also had my dad’s friend’s band play and my dad also got up and played a few songs on his guitar as well. Everyone just danced and laughed and had a really great time. It was really fun, despite who she was marrying, haha.

38. Do you have any physical photo albums? There are a TON at my dad’s house.

39. Would you feel comfortable working at a sex shop? Eh.

40. Who was the worst friend you ever had? Aside from lil pre-teen jackasses in middle school, my ex friend Jessica. She was SO into herself she never asked me how I was doing and she thought she was a really good signer and definitely wasn’t. She also pulled some bullshit when my ex and his best friend tried to break Mark and I up early in our relationship. Long story short, when I told her what happened she was like “I’m not going to take sides” (my ex’s best friend was her bf’s brother). UM that situation was definitely something you should take sides in, especially when it happened to your supposed best friend. I stopped talking to her that day.

41. What’s the biggest sacrifice you’ve ever made? Staying at home longer than I wanted to. I did it so my dad wouldn’t be lonely. I was on track to moving out when my mother passed away and then I felt like I needed to/wanted to stay with him and it ended up being a few more years before I moved out on my own (with Mark).

42. Have you ever campaigned for a political candidate, or otherwise played an active roll in an election? Eh.

43. What’s the coolest hand-me-down you’ve ever gotten? What about the best one you’ve ever given? Oh man I cannot think right now. I’m sure there have been a few things I’ve given my niece. The only thing I can think of right now is my Barbie collection, even though they are still at my dads and she only plays with them there. They will eventually become hers fully though. OH! The coolest hand-me-down I ever got was my sister’s old room in our parent’s home when she moved out. It was painted blue top to bottom and had a KILLER walk in closet.

44. Do your parents and grandparents get along with each other? My dad’s mother is my only living grandparent and they bicker A LOT. I think he might harbor some of the same resentment I do against her for treating my mother so horrible when she was alive. And that he’s on his way to retirement but now has to take care of her. And now on his own since I moved out, which I feel super guilty about but that’s a story for another day. This survey is over and I need to sleep.

#surveys

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sylviathewanderer-blog · 6 years

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Today I took the first step down the road in the long journey that is my life. I have tried, and failed miserably, to live my life as the person I was told that I was born to be for 32 years. Every day I looked at his face in the mirror and tried to avoid eye contact with him as I brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and cleaned his body. Then I'd put on his heavy, coarse threaded clothing and plod my way along the path of his life, doing my best to try and play his part in the world the right way all the while knowing that I am not the right actor for his role. I've known my entire life that something wasn't right, that I was the problem. I comforted myself by saying that I'm just different from the other guys. I couldn't have been more right. Well. . . Perhaps instead I was so wrong that I became right coming the other way around. I'm different from all of the other guys because I was never a guy to begin with. I have been a woman all along. I've been a woman wearing a terrible man-skin coat doing her best to stand up and roar loud enough to scare all of the real men away so she could be alone to plant her flowers, care for her animals, and write out her long fantasy stories. At first I thought this feminine side of myself was something new until I became curious about the person I heard pounding on the other side of the walls I had built around them as a child. When I ripped away the cracked bricks and mortar I found a familiar face staring back at me. We hadn't seen eachother since I tried to bury her back when I was 7. When my sister became 10 she got her ears pierced as is tradition in our family. From that day she was a big girl and couldn't be bothered to play with her annoying little brother anymore. I loved my sister more than anything and cherished our time together especially since I could always count on her to chase away all of the bullies who tortured me every day at school for being weird. Her pulling away tore out my heart and so one day I came up with a solution that would make us both happy. I asked her to help turn me into a girl. Because I was 7 and she was 10 (aaaaand our father was a MAJOR homophobe who thought that even hanging his clothes on a pink hanger would make him magically turn gay. Try to visualize the logic there! "Honey, did you put my favorite shirt on a pink hanger again?" "No, I don't think so. Why?" "Because I am FAAABULOUUUS!!!" lol A couple of grizzled bikers sit at a dingy bar. One looks over at his drinking partner after a long ride and notices something off about his undershirt. "The wife wash yer whites with a red sock again?" "Yeah. And now I wanna go out and kiss all the boys, dammit!" He says sullenly staring into the golden froth. "I know how that goes. Mine hung my leathers on the pink hanger yesterday!" He growls draining another beer. The man in the pinkened shirt looks over curiously "You wanna go make out?" "Yeah, sure." (Sorry, I'm an amateur comedy writer so I am prone to these odd drifts of thought!)) We decided that the best way to make me a girl was to dress me in her clothes. I stripped down and put on her panties and night gown and we talked, played barbies, and listened to the radio all night. I became so comfortable and felt so natural that we lost track of time and forgot what I was wearing. . . Then my father came home from the bar! That night was so traumatic that I became afraid to ever express that side of myself again and so I sewed together my man-suit, locked my true self behind those walls and did my best to forget about her. She is stronger than we knew though, and she has manifested herself all of my life. Once I became a teenager I grew my hair out. It was always my best feature and became the only thing that I felt was really me. I would swell with an odd pride whenever a woman complimented me on my hair and being told how jealous of it they were thrilled me to know end. Once I got my first job and was buying my own clothes I picked out light, breezey khakis, white undershirts and cotton button up shirts to wear open over them. They were mostly brightly colored Hawaiian shirts or subdued floral patterns in more traditional male colors. I loved them and they became a part of my unique style. Then there were the flowers. I love gardening and growing any kind of plant, so I kept baskets of flowers on any surface in my room that got enough light to support them. And then there's my tea set collection. My mother caught me playing with the first one in a shop and went back to buy it for me for Christmas that year. I loved it and it quickly grew into a collection that I now have decorating my room in an array of shadowboxes. I've struggled with this identity for all of my life that I can remember, and I suspect it goes back even further than that, but who really knows there. I can remember getting bullied in school for months when I curtsied while the music teacher was teaching us the ediquet for our school play. Turns out i was supposed to bow instead. Whoops! Not that it mattered, really. Those kids had sniffed me out as being different long, long before that. Could have been because I was shy and meek. . . Oooor maybe it was the clover flower crowns and necklaces I taught the girls to make and would even wear around the playground myself. Could have been that. *sagely nod* I met another trans woman recently and I told her about how much I loved my hair and that it was killing me that I am going bald and that my hair looks terrible now. She smiled at me and made a joke about giving me her hormone pills that could regrow my hair so long as I didn't mind also growing breasts. I felt such a sudden and deep yearning that I must have made a face because she quickly hid the bottle and changed the subject, though she did offer them again later with the same joke, probably to test the waters and confirm what she was suspecting. I made a joke and brushed it aside. Later, I would go home and while staring at my scalp in the bathroom mirror, brake into tears. I hadn't cried in over a decade so it turned into a sob, then bawling, and then into full blown weeping. I sat on the toilet trying to collect myself and had an epiphany. I was mad at myself for being too weak and timid to accept her offer. I knew then that if given the choice I would happily, gladly, and proudly trade my penis to whomever I had to to get my hair back. I've been an asexual my entire life so it's not like I use the damned thing for anything other than urination anyway! What use do I have for it? Give me back my damned hair!! It was then that all of those feelings and all of those dreams about being turned into a woman made sense to me. All of the female characters I had made in video games and had spent more time designing than I did doing whatever the game was about seemed like obvious signs. So there I was, the crumbled debris lying at my feet. And there she was, my true self, a golden outline of a woman with soft kind eyes staring through my soul telling me that it was alright. I could cry now. I was finally safe. She smiled at me and I tried to smile back, but couldn't. I already was. We were finally one again. We were whole. We were just I again. Somewhere, I felt as if my male persona was waving at me, laughing like he always did when he knew things were going to be their toughest. Somewhere The Drifter faded away and left me alone with myself, with The Wanderer. So I smiled again, and took the first step on my long road. I am going on my first journey, the one to get back my long, golden brown hair and to become the woman I was always meant to be. I came out to my mother today. She told me she always knew, but thought that I would always stay the effeminate man I was. She told me that she is proud that I found my strength to fight for what I really want. She told me that she loves me and that she will always love me unconditionally. Then she text me a few hours later to tell me that she loves me again. I am so lucky to have her as my mother and my guide. Many of our brothers and sisters aren't so lucky and find themselves disowned or worse. She divorced my father when i was 16 and I havent talked to him in at least a decade, so I don't care what he thinks. I'll mail his name and legacy back to him when I find the time. I don't need them anymore, and they never really belonged to me to begin with. This is my first day as an open trans woman and I don't even have a real name yet. I haven't talked to a doctor about hormone replacement therapy, but I absolutely will. I am going to begin saving money for my surgery too. So on this day, I declare to the world, to myself, and to the people of Tumblr that I am a transgendered woman! I am proud! I am strong! And I am coming for my GOD DAMNED HAIR!!

#Transgender #Trans Woman #Coming Out #LGBTQA #New Girl

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theworstbob · 7 years

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yellin’ at songs: week thirty-five

brief reviews of the songs which debuted on the billboard hot 100 the weeks of 6 september 1997, 8 september 2007, and 9 september 2017

9.6.1997

7) "Barbie Girl," by Aqua

I don't have anything constructive or novel to say about this song. It's the same Europe dance garbage we've been listening to this whole time, but now it's tuggin' at the ol' nostalgia what with how it references a beloved childhood toy. I do love how uniquely German the line, "Come on in, bimbo friend!" is, but that's about the only good thing in this song. Otherwise, it's a horrible song that has been bad to listen to for 20 years.

18) "Building a Mystery," by Sarah McLachlan

This goes several orders of magnitude harder than I ever remembered. I mean, we're adjusting to Sarah McLachlan's scale, this is still gentle for most people, but this almost has an edge. That's an electric guitar in this song, and I didn't know Sarah McLachlan was capable of saying the f-word! I like what this song was able to do even if it remained solely in the adult-alternative confines in which Sarah McLachlan typically keeps herself. I'd say the revisit ended up being worth it, even if it wasn't a revisit I would've made were I not doing this.

27) "I Miss My Homies," by Master P ft./Pimp C & The Shocker

...Do I suddenly appreciate the production value of "I'll Be Missing You." Is this how bad this song is. That it has me looking back fondly on "I'll Be Missing You." First of all, Master P is garbage on this track. His flow in his verse is "drunk dude trying to do an improv rap," and he keeps going "unnnnh" throughout the song, because as sad as we are at our friends dying, you need to keep brand engagement going. Like, Pimp C and Slikk don't change history, but they do things with their voices that aren't easily replicated. Master P seems to equate "being sad" with "talking slowly." Plus, like, as dumb as the "Every Breath You Take" sample is, that imbues "I'll Be Missing You" with far more energy and passion than this generic synth-strings and drum-beat track does. This beat sounds like a dude playing a Casio in his basement. This song that was probably written from a place of real emotion is the absolute pits.

43) "You Should Be Mine (Don't Waste Your Time)," by Brian McKnight ft./Mase

Ma$e was ahead of his time, in a way. Obviously, he's an incredibly basic rapper, so he's not ahead of his time in that particular sense. When you think of today's rappers, though, or at least those rappers which are popular on Billboard, and how they sort of passionlessly mushmouth for a few minutes at a time, you can't help but think that Mase would clean the hell up in this era. This song is a really fun if slight R&B jam, and Mase just sort of shows up and goes "enh," and in 2017 this is the hottest feature of the year.

77) "Need Your Love," by Big Bub ft./Queen Latifah & Heavy D

I fuckin' love this. This dude's voice has this insane quality I'm not anywhere near qualified enough to try to describe, it, I dunno, it's like this shovel digging a hole to my heart? And I love how simple this track is, pretty much just a guitar and drums with the occasional bass note, the traditional '90s strings only kicking in near the end. This is the sort of song I'd just put on repeat and let take me away if I ever found myself in the middle of a bad day, it's this intensely chill and uncomplicated thing, and sometimes, uncomplicated can be great.

88) "We Can Get Down," by Myron

i also could do crystal meth, but then i think... nah, better not "I'll be there for you physically, mentally" okay don't fucking lie to the girl just because it fits the rhyme scheme. You are solely here for the physical. This song is called "We Can Get Down," not "We Can Debate the Meaning of Our Favorite Poems Whilst Enjoying Some Sliced Fruit." Mentally. Man, no one listening to this song is thinking, "Just wanna get inside that big ol' thinker of his! What does this man repeatedly informing us that getting down is an option have to say about the important issues in politics and culture?"

89) "Butta Love," by Next

Given that these dudes are eventually going to make a song about wanting a girl to dance further away from them because they're getting an erection, it's disappointing that this is just a standard '90s R&B slow jamz that only mentions butter in passing, or isn't secretly about buttsex. There is a line in the song, "Just hit me on my hip baby," that I had to stare at for five minutes to figure out what that might mean before I realized that was a sexy reference to pagers, and that made me smile, and I guess getting hard is a recurring theme in Next's work with how they sing "You've got those sexy eyes/Enticing thighs/You make me rise" so that's fun to find out, but this was a disappointingly staid song about wanting to fuck a hot woman.

90) "In a Dream," by Rockell

And 1997 ends where it begins: awful dance music I never want to think about ever fucking again. Very impressive storytelling, you always want the end to call back to the start just to reinforce the themes.

9.8.2007

76) "Fabulous," Ashley Tisdale & Lucas Grabeel

It is so perfect that this song had to appear on the Hot 100 on a week that no other HSM2 song debuted. Also it ends with a "not" joke. Thank you for this.

85) "I Get Money," 50 Cent

One of the things I didn't understand about Super Smash Bros. Melee was what the point of secret characters was if they would just be copies of a different character that moved slightly differently. Like, if Ganondorf had the same moveset as Captain Falcon but just moved slower, was Ganondorf really his own character? I sort of get the same feeling listening to "I Get Money" after "Fabulous." This is just "Fabulous" in a hoodie. Fiddy wants fabulous, that is his simple request, and Ashley Tisdale wants money. Man, I can't believe this album didn't manage to outsell Graduation, wonder what 50 Cent could have done better, aside from making songs that weren't shitty versions of HSM2 songs?

9.9.2017

20) "Friends," by Justin Bieber + BloodPop

I dunno, I guess this is okay. This is a Joey of a song -- I'm having fun with it as something that's happening while I'm trying to do something I'm interested in, but I wouldn't want to have like a whole thing of this. Justin Bieber does his usual thing where he doesn't get in the way but doesn't add anything unique or distinct or... anything, he doesn't do anything on this song, one day we're going to figure out the day we stopped asking our singers to be able to hit notes. Y'all are asking me to evaluate Justin Bieber the same week I evaluated Big Bub. Nah, man. Every single dude R&B singer is a better vocalist than the best male vocalist in 2017. I mean, I know we're coming to these songs for vibes and drops and not for technical vocal proficiency, we made this choice when we made Tay Tay a pop star, but how are Justin Bieber and Bryson Tiller the only vocalists we're asking to carry pop songs in 2017? They're boring!

34) "I Get the Bag," by Gucci Mane ft./Migos

What a delightful song with a dazzling array of lyrical twists with a distinct song quite unlike anything either artist has put out to this point! What a treat, to he -- I am being informed I decided to listen to "Need Your Love" again. Fine. Fine. ...The only reason this song exists is if you hear a Migos song you're really into and want to listen to again but are too far away from your Device to hit the repeat button.

77) "Look What You Made Me Do," by Tay Tay

Because of the way YAS is set up, and also because I’ve been taking an extra day to write YAS for reasons that are not completely “gets too distracted by link to the past randos” but are pretty much just “gets too distracted by link to the past randos,” everything that can be said about this song has been said, and Tay Tay’s public perception has gone from legit pop queen to Nazi Idol, which is a hell of a fall. And you’d think that this was just the media waiting to pile on Tay Tay because she’s had positive coverage for so long and it’s Her Turn as it was for all pop stars before her, except this song is legitimately terrible. It’s indefensibly bad. It’s either about a feud she already won, a response song to “Swish, Swish” being completely unnecessary when you already had “Bad Blood,” or it’s about a feud in which she was so clearly and incredibly in the wrong! This song is just unnecessary, especially since it doesn’t actually do anything. The verses sound kinda cool, they have this sparse production I’m sort of into, but they build into Tay Tay saying, “Look what you made me do” and nothing more. And hey. Tay Tay? Never a compelling vocalist! Can’t pull off the spoken word, to no one’s surprise! It sounds less like a deposed Maleficent crashing the christening and taking the kingdom and more like a teen who’s sort of miffed that their parents wouldn’t let them buy Maleficent-branded merchandise at the mall Hot Topic. This song isn’t failing, but my gosh, does it ever deserve to. If there were any justice, Tay Tay would have announced her country comeback an hour ago, but because of this era where brand loyalty rules the day in pop music (you come up with a better reason why DJ Khaled is a legit pop star), Tay Tay’ll be fine.

79) "Younger Now," by Miley Cyrus

Again, it's really cool that Miley Cyrus, an unfathomably rich person, has found inner peace. I am very invested in the journey of this sympathetic character. You don't see good things happen to rich people that often. So happy for Miley. What an emotional journey, going from a rich child to a rich person who did drugs to a rich person who used to do drugs.

80) "It's Every Night Sis," by RiceGum ft./Alissa Violet

...I can't claim to say I never wanted YouTubers to rap. I own two Starbomb albums. Clearly, I wanted this to happen. But I just, I take back the bad things I've said about Master P, trap rap, and mumble rap in this and these posts, because my god, listening to these children is honestly the worst. I hate this.

53) "Roll in Peace," by Kodak Black ft./XXXTentacion 82) "Transportin'," by Kodak Black 90) "Questions," by Chris Brown

Wow! Over already? Well, that time just flew right on by! Good post, y'all! I feel like we accomplished a lot today, and now we're ready to find out...

Who won the week?

It is 1997 because 1997 is the only year that gave me a song I immediately loved.

2017: 12 1997: 12 2007: 11

Next week, 1997 gives us Mariah Carey, Beck, Chumbawumba, and Shaquille O’Neal. 1997 is complicated.

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