#ashildr starts as clara and ends as the doctor. like you can SEE the moment it switches from ashildr-as-clara to ashildr-as-doctor

[claraoswalds]

So what's wrong with Clara, then? There's nothing wrong with her. Why haven't you made her immortal? Well, look how you turned out.

#dwedit #doctor who #userveronika #usertennant #userteri #scifiedit #ashildr #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #twelveclara #* #honestly idk if this will make sense to anyone but me but #the doctor saved ashildr and the doctor saved clara but ashildr is clara and ashildr is the doctor too.......... and so is clara #or more intelligibly: ashildr's arc at its base is the same arc that twelve and clara have together. except she plays both roles #ashildr starts as clara and ends as the doctor. like you can SEE the moment it switches from ashildr-as-clara to ashildr-as-doctor #but clara ALSO starts as clara and ends as the doctor. (''we could you know... stop off on the way'' ''gallifrey. the long way round''). #and the doctor gets to watch the exact same storyline play out in front of him without ever realizing it and incapable of ever stopping it #.....does any of that make sense. i'm writing these tags at 3am so idk fjdkslsls #but really this gifset is just 'ashildr: the twelveclara redux'

[bambiesque]

New thread for Capaldi!Doctor.

Deep Breath - "Here we go again." Excellent start for Capaldi!Doctor. I do love regeneration episodes and this one was a bit deeper than the usual madness. Always lovely to see the Paternoster gang. And Missy! Missy, my love. <3

Into the Dalek - Danny! "She cares so I don't have to." A good episode - a nice change to the usual Dalek ones. I like Journey, I think she should have come along.

Robot of Sherwood - A funny episode, good performances all around but nothing very exciting. Loved Capaldi!Doctor sword-fighting Robin Hood with a spoon though.

Listen - Creepy, sad, beautiful. Everyone is at their best. Love getting to see the baby!Doctor's history and Clara comforting him, and then comforting Capaldi!Doctor too. They are great together. As are Clara and Danny.

Time Heist - Love a heist. Especially a time-travel one. Keeley Hawes is always good and strangely, always terrifying. Clara looks magnificent. Love Psy and Saibra. I think we should have had little gang again.

The Caretaker - I still don't like all the weird posturing from the Doctor and Danny over Clara. She can do what she wants. They're idiots most of this episode.

Kill the Moon - I completely understand Clara's feelings. Jenna is excellent, as always. I love the moon being an egg and another one just being laid in its place.

Mummy on the Orient Express - Love the whole aesthetic. Love all of Clara's beautiful clothes. A really good murder-mystery. Tense, fun, nice resolution. Great episode.

Flatline - Really interesting concept. Love Clara taking on the Doctor's role and carrying around the TARDIS and the Doctor in her bag.

In the Forest of the Night - A lovely episode. The trees covering London and protecting the earth. The kids are great too.

Dark Water/Death in Heaven - I love Missy so much. Michelle Gomez is having an absolute blast and she looks so gorgeous while being completely deranged. I am sad Danny is dead though. Cyber-zombies. Poor Osgood. Poor Danny and Clara. Poor Missy. The Brig! <3 Danny is a very good boy.

Last Christmas - Doctor Who does Inception. Lots of fun and silliness with a lovely ending and Clara staying with the Doctor.

The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar - Have I mentioned that I love Missy. She should be in every single episode. Possibly of every TV show ever. What a brilliant pair of episodes this was. The best Dalek episode in a long time.

Under the Lake/Before the Flood - Very creepy and atmospheric. I enjoyed the story and I'm enjoying these two parters.

The Girl Who Died/The Woman Who Lived - I loved the first episode. It was fun and funny and Clara has grown-up so much, I'm proud of her. Capaldi!Doctor realising why he chose Caecilius' face was a really brilliant moment. The second episode was also good - though not as good, imo but it did have a great ending for the Doctor and Ashildr.

The Zygon Invasion/The Zygon Inversion - Kate having more to do is always a good thing and it's nice that we still have one Osgood at least - and then two! Good story with a great resolution and excellent work from Jenna as always.

Sleep No More - I'm going to be singing Mr Sandman all night now. It was a decent episode but nothing special storywise. Just there really.

Face the Raven - Brave, wonderful, stupid Clara. I love you. The whole episode was great and I know it's not her last episode but I think that was a good ending for her and perfectly in character.

Heaven Sent - Weird, fascinating and absolutely terrifying when you think about it. Peter Capaldi is incredible. But not an episode I'd want to rewatch honestly because it too much.

Hell Bent - I don't think we should blame Missy for this when she's not here to defend herself. Amy & Rory mention! I cried buckets because it was heartbreaking. Farewell, Clara!

The Husbands of River Song - And farewell, River (at least I assume it's a farewell). A lovely end to her story. I enjoyed Capaldi!Doctor getting to do the "bigger on the inside" speech he always wanted to hear.

The Return of Doctor Mysterio - The weakest of the specials, across any era, tbh. I don't have a lot to say about it.

The Pilot - Bill is fantastic. Love her. Enjoyed the chase across the universe and Heather doing what she promised Bill she would. Love the pictures of Susan and River on Capaldi!Doctor's desk.

Smile - The Happiness Patrol 2.0 Very good, very creepy, very sad. I wouldn't have lasted five minutes in a place I had to smile all the time.

Thin Ice - Ooo, Regency period, love it. Great episode. Loved the Doctor punching Sutcliffe and giving his house to the orphans. There should be more of that.

Knock Knock - Lovely creepy episode with a nice twist. I loved the Doctor going to have dinner with Missy and her playing the piano omg *hearteyes*

Oxygen - Interesting concept and very believable but not as thrilling as it should have been.

Extremis - I'm just going to sob about how much I love Missy forever. A really great epiode. I loved it - the simulations, Nardole being a badass.

The Pyramid at the End of the World - The weakest of the three I think, but the ending is good. I enjoyed the lab stuff more than the pyramid stuff.

The Lie of the Land - So proud of Bill for shooting the Doctor. I think she should have slapped him when he told her the truth though. I want a whole show just about Missy's time in the vault. I would watch her do anything.

Empress of Mars - Great episode, fabulous to look at. I really enjoyed the story and seeing Alpha Centauri again!!!

The Eaters of Light - Another lovely story. Missy and the Doctor at the end was obviously my favourite part but the supporting cast was excellent.

World Enough and Time - I don't think I breathed for the last five minutes. The Master in disguise is perfect and a perfect bastard. The start with Missy being "Doctor Who" is one of the best things ever on this show. I wish she could have been an actual companion. Poor Bill, she deserves better than this.

The Doctor Falls - Of course the Master is a bad influence on themself. Oh, Missy, I love you so, so much. And John Simm is looking fantastic. Two Masters - my dream come true. They're such shits but I love them. And I'm crying because she died. And that he didn't know she was going back to him. At least Bill gets a happy ending (ish).

Twice Upon a Time - Twelve and One and Bill and Polly and Ben and Mark Gatiss as the Brig's Grandad(?) and Clara. I am sobbing. Mostly it was hilarious and heartwarming, which was much needed after the previous episode. Hi Jodie!

Capaldi!Doctor Era Roundup

Honestly, it took a while for me to warm up to Capaldi!Doctor - not that I didn't like him, just that I didn't get him, I think. But by the end I loved him. Season 10 was probably my favourite. I liked him being grumpy and not wanting to hug people. I loved Clara and Bill and especially Missy. Excellent stuff.

Favourite Companion: Clara

Least Favourite Companion: None

Favourite Episode: The Magician's Apprentice/The Witch's Familiar

Least Favourite Episode: The Return of Doctor Mysterio

Current Doctor Rankings:

Smith

Davison

Pertwee

Tennant

Capaldi

TBaker

CBaker

McCoy

Troughton

McGann

Hurt

Eccleston

Hartnell

Top 10 Companions: (Bill goes in at 12, Nardole at 32)

Jo Grant

Amy Pond

Tegan Jovanka

Rory Williams

Barbara Wright

Vislor Turlough

Clara Oswald

Sarah Jane Smith

Martha Jones

Donna Noble

Top 5 Masters:

Gomez

Delgado

Simm

Ainley

Jacobi

#doctor who #new who #twelfth doctor #capaldi!doctor

[rumata-est]

immortal s9´s story

We actually have a great arc in series 9 (and 10 in the end), and I personally think it´s one of the best arcs in New Who, simple, important and human like the first Classic Who lines. It´s an old tremendously beautiful fairy tale about immortality.

In "Last Christmas" we got not just an implicit marriage proposal scene and Jenna Coleman who (God save the Queen) had decided to stay but also two very significant lines. 

This "I´m dying too" thing becomes a reckless manifesto for the Doctor and Clara for the next season. However, the Doctor doesn´t do dying, he has to live: because he is a Doctor and this is a show. But what about Clara's place in such kind of life? 

Almost every story in series 9 right up to the epic final divides into two episodes (except "Sleep no More" which originally was going to be a two-parter pair too according to Mark Gattis´s interview). Two episodes about death and life, anxiety and insight, desperation and hope, finite and infinite.

"The Magician´s Apprentice" hits us with the Doctor's decision to die for some vague stupid dalek reasons (lets put the Doctor's doubts about his own goodness aside). When Missy tells Clara about it we can see a good example of quite brave behaviour: she doesn't panic, prepares herself to whatever comes next and takes Missy's leadership rushing into the rescue mission. She is in charge while the Doctor seems to be too sad, ashamed, exousted and in a mood to sacriface himself to do something reasonable about this absurd situation.

"The Witch's Familiar" reverses sides. Clara's inside a dalek, she's probably dying or dead already, the Doctor is furious and in charge now. He puts away his own feelings because he has a rescue mission now. Why did it go too far? Why didn't Clara manage to figure out how to open the dalek's shell? It was very simple, she just had to think the word "open", but obviously she was too exausted. So, despite the triumphant "same old same old, the Doctor and Clara Oswald in the TARDIS" both of them have this "my closest person is dying for real" experience now and that's the moment when the dilemma stands.

"Under the Lake" and "Before the Flood" story dedicates to the Doctor's possible death. Now Clara's response is way different: she's freaking out and willing to tell the Doctor everything just to make him come back to her. She can't stand the thought of being without him cause he's essential to her. Jenna's performance is just stunning and heartbreaking: her eyes and face are pure overpowering panic. As we know he comes back ("if you love me in any way" detected) despite his "survivor's guilt". There's also the first dangeorous sign: he changes history to save Clara, her name makes him confront the Fisher king. Nobody wants to admit the others are kind of... a collateral damage for him now? Of course, not. Bad choices, you still have to choose... however, he becomes way serious when it comes closer to Clara's life. Important detail: he was trapped in a pod.

"The Girl who died" and "The Woman who lived" is an experimental story about tidal waves and "what if I accidentaly make one little human immortal". Now we have iconic "I keep thinking what if something happens to you" and " immortality is everybody else dying". Also the Doctor all of a sudden is very provident and gives Ashildr the second immortality charge for whoever she wants. In the second episode Ashildr asks the Doctor very directly: "Why haven't you made Clara immortal?" His answer is "look how you turned out", and we can see that her life now is a battlefield and it's empty. Not to mention she is a tidal wave and nobody knows the consequences of the Doctor's "angry and emotinal" decision until we stand on the last edge of reality. How can the Doctor do this to Clara? Is it selfish? Is it what she wants? Or what he wants? Ashildr daren't give her second charge as well.

"Zygon" episodes are a reflection of the "Lake/Flood" story and dedicate to Clara's possible death while she's trapped in a pod. The Doctor's reaction is way different too now: he's broken and devastated, and then his hope phase goes like hell (don't forget about 127 missed calls in the first place). We have now iconic "the longest month of my life" and "I'll be the judge of time". The final is open and scary, no hugging, no missing you stuff, just awkward silence because they both feel relief and constant agony at the same time. How long do they have?

The Doctor tells Clara he's sick of losing people. Clara tells him to stop brooding, stop asking impossible questions and start winning. He can't safe everybody but it's ok as long as he can save somebody and be kind. 

And here's the problem: Clara's not just people, she's his friend, companion, his impossible girl, exactly what he needs, probably an amazing teacher, his carer, his "o Clara my Clara", his egomaniac needy game-player, his control freak, his accomplice and a salvage of a lifetime. 

And to sort it out they have four more episodes. But it's a story for another day.

The second part

#doctor who #twelve doctor #peter capaldi #jenna coleman #12th doctor #s9 #whouffaldi #clara oswald #moffat era #trust me i know #moffat is a genius #otp: i am not your boyfriend #not everything ends not love not always

[pennywaltzy]

All Screwed To Hell And Eternity And Space And Back (5/11 - An “intersections” Story) - NEW CHAPTER

Another new chapter, focusing on the Avengers side of things and the news that some things don’t make a whole lot of sense in this universe at the moment...

All Screwed To Hell And Eternity And Space And Back - Everyone has a countdown on their wrist to when they will find their soulmate. If they don’t, they die. Even Steve Rogers’s ran in one direction, though it took him ninety years to meet his. But Bucky’s has never run normally, not in the 40s, not when he was the Winter Soldier, and not now that the whole mess with the Infinity Gauntlet has been fixed. But now it’s stuck and he has no idea why. Meanwhile, Clara’s is still running despite being taken out of the timeline, though never in any way that makes sense or has ever made sense. Not to her, not to the Doctor, not to Ashildr. She’d expected it to disappear. But it’s simply counting down to her inevitable demise. And yet? Fate has it ways to make these two meet…even if it takes a TARDIS and the Avengers to make it happen.

READ CHAPTER 1 | READ CHAPTER 5 | SERIES PAGE | HELP ME SURVIVE? | COMMISSION ME? | BUY ME A KOFI?

“So this lead you guys have...” Bucky scratched his head. He’d left Wakanda with Steve, Nat, and Shuri and gone to the Avengers Towers. Since the snap, it was actually used by current and former Avengers members for them to live in, as opposed to the compound, which was mostly in use by Clint’s protege Kate and a group called the Young Avengers, according to Nat. Peter Parker was one of them in the group, though he and Kate stepped into actual Avengers missions in a pinch. Nat had been telling him there was a new recruit out of New Jersey, Ms. Marvel, and a second Spiderman who wore a black outfit and his head was spinning.

His head had been spinning by the time they landed on the roof of Avengers Tower. Apparently, his staying in Wakanda had left him out of a lot of the gossip...but, not pop culture, as it turned out. He and Shuri had been laughing hysterically once it clicked why the information he had been given by Steve and Nat sounded so familiar, and it was just now that the two of them were catching their breath.

“Do you not know your own television shows?” Shuri asked, clutching at her stomach as she started to straighten up. “Your lead is a fictional character. The Doctor does not exist in this universe.”

“But there have been sightings,” Thor said, frowning. He and Brunhilde had taken leave of his subjects in Norway to travel, not that it had taken them a particularly long time. A modified version of the Bifrost Bridge had been built and the technology was being utilized by Asgardians working with Tony to bring the travel to the world, under some guidance from one of the newest Avengers, Carol Danvers, who was not currently at this meeting. Carol had said a friend called and she wanted to catch up.

She wasn’t the only one, but it would have to wait until he let his friends down. Not so gently, either.

“Of a TARDIS?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as he had an incredulous smile on his face. “Like, blue British police box? I mean, I was frozen off and one for the last sixty years and even I’ve heard of ‘Doctor Who.’”

“Did you hear they cast a woman?” Shuri asked him. “To be the next Doctor? Peter told me.”

“Really?” Bucky said.

“Wait. Peter knew and he didn’t say anything?” Tony asked. “We have to let the kid come to more Avengers meeting. That’s it. I say we just let Kate lead the other team and Pete moves up to the big leagues.”

“Back to the point,” Steve said, raising a hand. “So there’s no truth to it?”

“I mean, look at the technology coming out of Norway by the Asgardians. Look at what’s coming from the contact we’ve had with alien planets through Carol,” Bucky said, crossing his arms. “It’s theoretical, and someone could be a sci-fi fan. Wasn’t there an MIT student who designed her own version of your armor, Tony?”

“RiRi,” Tony said approvingly. “Damn brilliant girl...no offense, Shuri. We know you’re probably smarter.”

“I would hope so,” she said. “Though it would be nice to be introduced?”

“Once we settle this, I promise,” Tony said.

“My father had met this Clara. She is the one who led him to find my brother when he was a babe,” Thor said.

“Clara Oswald was the last companion before Bill,” Bucky said, shaking his head.

“Yes! Clara Oswald. Accompanied by a short woman named Ashildr. A fine name. They have met at least twice in his past.” Thor nodded to Brunhilde. “And we have known that the Valkyries had met them once.”

“It was brief, before the battle with Hela. I only have a hazy memory, but...” She nodded to Steve. “Find me a picture of this Clara Oswald character. I’ll tell you if it’s the woman I met.”

Steve nodded, then used Tony’s tablet to punch up the picture. Bucky’s breath caught as it had every time she had been in one of the episodes he had watched; she looked so much like Connie it was unnerving. That had been one hell of a last night before shipping out with her, and to see her spitting image only with a British accent on the show had been a punch to the gut. “Is that Connie?” he asked Bucky, his eyes wide.

“No, her name is Jenna. Jenna Coleman. Went by Jenna-Louise for a while. She’s a Brit,” Bucky said.

“Hell, the resemblance is remarkable,” Steve said, letting out a low whistle.

“You’re telling me,” Bucky said.

“That’s the woman,” Brunhilde said. “And she was what you would consider British. So was her companion.”

“Steve, look up...what’s her name?” Bucky asked, looking to Shuri.

“Maisie Williams,” Shuri said with a nod. Steve pulled up the picture. “Is that your Ashildr?”

“Yeah,” Brunhilde said, frowning.

“That’s the chick from Game of Thrones! The assassin!” Tony said. “Pepper was so pissed she didn’t end up on the Iron Throne, her or her sister.”

“No, that’s Ashildr,” Brunhilde said. Then she shook her head. “So...in this fictional world of Doctor Who, they play characters named Clara and Ashildr?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said, frowning.

“And I’ve met them as those people.”

“Yes,” Shuri said with a nod, her eyes growing wide. “Then they very well may have camouflaged the TARDIS to look at though it was the Doctors while they are here, but...multidimensional travel? Don’t they need to burn up a sun for that?”

“Maybe they burned up their universe’s,” Steve said. “Okay, new angle of attack: we find these two. Not the actresses, the actual...” he trailed off and looked at Bucky.

“Well, Clara’s not the Doctor, but the traveler and her companion and their TARDIS?” he asked, scratching the back of his head.

“Which means Carol if they can travel through time and space,” Tony said.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Nat said. “Didn’t you say Strange was working with the Asgardians to use the Bifrost travel to communicate with magic users on other planets to bring down Mordo?”

“Then to the Sanctum Santorum we go,” Steve said with a nod. Bucky got one last look at Ashildr and Clara’s faces before the images blinked out, and he wondered if, maybe, the reason his timer had stopped was that something was going to happen. Something bad. Try as he might, he couldn’t shake that cold chill inhabiting the base of his spine. He’d stay alive, probably, but what about his soulmate?

#mcu #doctor who #bucky x clara #impossible winter #fanfic #fanfiction #bucky barnes #shuri #thor odinson #tony stark #steve rogers #brunhilde #natasha romanoff #multipart: all screwed to hell and eternity and space and back #my au: intersections

[isagrimorie]

What I love about the Twelfth Doctor era is how its in conversation with the Tenth Doctor. 

The way the Master returns as Missy after the Simm!Master, which I think is the Master’s most misogynistic and spiteful regeneration. And, how Missy’s (Gomez!Master) arc is the continuation of Ten reaching out to Simm!Master but inverted, harkening back to the Delgado!Master.

The very reason for Twelve’s face, Donna imploring the Doctor to ‘just save someone’, and he does but this time he can immediately see the consequences of that-- because just like FMA’s alchemy there is an equivalent exchange-- and no, it’s not Ashildr | Me being the cause of Clara’s death-- that as Clara pointed out was her choice. She got too reckless about it, and it was a consequence she accepted. 

It was causing Ashildr | Me pain because of her immortality but even that Ashildr | Me got over, eventually. Ashildr | Me got to walk the slow path and see both wonders and horrors and came out of it wiser (Heaven Sent) and by the time of Hell Bent helps the Doctor learn to accept endings.

Then, there is the mindwipe issue-- where Ten mindwipes Donna to save her life, despite Donna not wanting to, even though she knew she would die. Something Twelve learns from Clara and Bill. Especially with Bill, because it’s something that’s done to him at the end of Hell Bent but it doesn’t really take until The Pilot: 

DOCTOR: I do. Come here, Bill. (She stands in front of him.) BILL: What's up? DOCTOR: I just want to fix something. (He reaches for her head.) BILL: Whoa! What are you doing? DOCTOR: Don't worry. This won't hurt at all. BILL: No, but tell me. DOCTOR: Nothing. BILL: Yeah, because I think you're going to wipe my memory. I'm not stupid, you know. That's the trouble with you. You don't think anyone's ever seen a movie. I know what a mind-wipe looks like! DOCTOR: I have no choice. I'm here for a reason. I am in disguise. I have promises to keep. No one can know about me. BILL: This is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me in my life. The only exciting thing! DOCTOR: I'm sorry. BILL: Okay, let me remember just for a week. Just a week. Okay, well, just for tonight. Just one night. Come on, let me have some good dreams for once. Okay. Do what you've got to do. But imagine, just imagine how it would feel if someone did this to you. (Big pause as Bill braces herself with her eyes closed, then he taps her on the chin.) DOCTOR: Get out. BILL: What? DOCTOR: You can keep your memories. Now get out before I change my mind! Don't speak, don't start, just run! Now. Go!

Then at the end, at his regeneration he echoes all the words of the Doctors, and though they have a similar words -- ‘I don’t want to go’ the sentiment is vastly, vastly different. 

Ten didn’t want to go because he was too in love with himself. Vanity issues as Eleven said. Twelve, on the other hand, had such a hard go from the moment he regenerated. Twelve lost and learned so much and those lessons were hard earned. 

Twelve is tired, and always considered this regeneration an aberration already. Twelve didn’t want to go through all the tedious cycle of forgetting and learning again, only to lose it all again. Or, as he said it: “I can't keep on being somebody else.” 

He understood what Bill meant when she said: “I don't want to live if I can't be me anymore." 

But then in Twice Upon a Time Twelve finds a time to make peace about moving on into another regeneration and choosing to live on and pass the torch, so to speak to his next self. It’s such a generous way to go: “Laugh hard, run fast, be kind. Doctor, I let you go.”

I miss the Twelfth Doctor-- he had such a rocky start but ended so gracefully, and I hope Bill can come back. And I’m also looking forward to the future and welcome the Thirteenth Doctor!

#thinky thoughts #doctor who #twelfth doctor #the doctor #thirteenth doctor #jodie whittaker #peter capaldi #bill potts #13th doctor

[loversandantiheroes]

Jigsaw - a Whouffaldi fic - Epilogue

Author’s Note: Here we are at last.  It’s taken two years to get to the end of this story, but we’re here.  Thank you guys so much for sticking with this story, and with me, for this long.  This is my early Christmas present to you all.  One last hurrah.

Summary: Because some pieces can’t be kept apart forever.  Post- Hell Bent reunion fic.  Epilogue.

Rating: PG-13ish

Warnings: Brief and vague shower funtimes

Word Count: 1844

AO3 Link: here

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

The shower takes awhile, to the surprise of neither of them.  It’s been a long time and Time Lord biology is deeply resilient.  The Doctor almost manages a concussion in the course of trying to do something rather ill-advised in conjunction with wet tiles.  In the end the only thing bruised is his ego, which she does her best to soothe while she tries to stop laughing.  This just makes him try the thing even more doggedly, this time with more success, and her laughter turns to breathless gasps.

Time wanders, but only slightly.  They extract themselves piece by piece, trailing fingertips and kisses, rearranging to fit.  He helps her into clean, fresh clothes; she does up the buttons on his conveniently TARDIS-laundered shirt.  By the time they make it out of the console room and into the diner they’re a pace apart, a distance not so much respectful as gravitational, a slow orbit.

Me leans over the counter, nursing an espresso and chatting with a young and rather extraordinarily punkish black woman.

“Good to see you, old man,” Me says with a dry sort of fondness.

The Doctor pauses, mouth pursed.  “And you, Ashildr.”

For once, she doesn’t correct him.  “Was starting to think the two of you got lost in there.”  She smirks at Clara, utterly insufferable and completely right as always, damn her.

“We had a lot of catching up to do,” Clara says.

The punkish woman at the counter snorts laughter behind half of a sandwich.

The Doctor’s eyebrows are scowling magnificently, but his eyes are crinkled.  “Hattie, this is Clara.  Clara, Hattie.”

“Y’know you could’ve just said you’d gotten a booty call,” Hattie says, still chuckling.  “Hung a sock on the door or something.  I was starting to think you’d gotten eaten by a rabid grease monster until this one filled me in.”  Hattie gestures at Me, who is trying valiantly to control her smirk before it takes over the entirety of her face and half of the greater London area besides.

“Oh you are terrible,” Clara gripes.

“And quite frequently right, though that’s never much helped your judgement of me before, has it?”

The Doctor turns to Clara, still scowling.  “‘Booty call?’” he mouths.

“Later.”

“Ok.”

“So is this you, then?” Me asks.

Clara’s heart does a small backflip.  “Yeah.  For awhile I think.”  She glances around, running a hand over the formica countertop.  “But you never know, might need a weekend away from time to time.  Someone should hold down the fort, I think.  Look after her while I’m away?”

Me’s smile is so broad it almost breaks Clara’s heart.  “Absolutely.”

Hattie looks slowly between the three immortals.  “I think maybe this is where I get off, then.  No offense, Doctor, but I’d hate third-wheeling it.  That’s no fun for anybody.  Probably about time I went home.”

“I can drop you off, if you’d like,” Ashildr offers.

The other woman pauses, considers, then grins.  “Yeah, alright.”

“You’re sure?” the Doctor asks, trying and failing to not sound disappointed.

Hattie nods.  “Keep him outta trouble, yeah?” she says to Clara.

“Really not likely, but I’ll do my best.”

Hattie laughs at that one.  “You really do know him.”

There are hugs.  Promises to take care.  To keep in touch.  A few tears, most of them Clara’s.

Me puts a kind hand on the Doctor’s shoulder.  “It’s not all bad, travelling with immortals.  At least if you get the right ones.”

“I suppose I’ll find out,” he says.

“She needs you.  That’s never really changed, but it’s different now.”

“There’s a difference between life-everlasting and life after death,” he muses, eyes downcast.

“You know that better than most.  Who better to teach her how to be a Time Lord?”

At a loss for a response, the Doctor holds out his arms stiffly.  “C’mon.  Quick before I change my mind.”

The embrace is fierce and quick, the Doctor’s voice rumbling out haltingly.  “I’m glad I saved you.”

“So am I, old man.”

Clara waits in the doorway, hand outstretched; the Doctor clasps it with reverent familiarity.  The Universe trembles the slightest bit, then settles back into its endless orbits.

***

Not everything ends.

***

First stop.  

Clara insists, but the Doctor hardly needs persuading.  Outside the TARDIS doors, a baby cries.  For a wonder, Clara realizes she can understand it.  Frequencies resolve into thought-forms that rearrange into words.

What has happened Mother, why does Father cry?

The Doctor makes for the door, but Clara lays a hand on his chest.  Me first.

They’ve landed back in the nursery.  The baby is all scrunched face and flailing fists in her crib.  The Doctor scoops her up immediately, cradling her against his ribs, and begins whispering reassurances.

The baby quiets.  More stifled sobs beyond the door to the hallway.  Then, a beat later: “Doctor?”

Rigsy bursts through the door and stops so abruptly his wife almost bowls him over as she runs up behind.  His eyes are tear-stained and wide as milk saucers, his jaw agape.  There are paint stains on his fingers and his jeans, and the fumes of the aerosol cans still clings to him.

Clara beams.  “Hey Rigsy.  Long time no see.”

And then he’s whooping, laughing and crying, scooping her up and twirling her around.  “I thought you were dead!”

“Nah,” she says, giggling madly.  “Takes more than a bird to put me down for good.”

They stay awhile.  Not long.  Long enough for hugs and tears and tea that goes cold and forgotten while Clara talks and the Doctor shifts about with the baby like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“I’m sorry,” Rigsy says, at last.

Clara shakes her head vehemently.  “You’ve got nothing to apologize for.  Wasn’t your fault to begin with, and it all worked out in the end.”

“Your TARDIS,” he starts, staring up at the Doctor.  “I-.”

“I know.”  The Doctor smiles sadly.  “Clara’s memorial.  It was…” he fumbles for the word, then sighs, “it was beautiful.  Thank you.”

Rigsy shifts uncomfortably.  “I think I wanted you to be cross.”

The Doctor tuts.  “Well I can still get there if you like, but I might startle the baby.”

“D’you want to maybe stay for dinner?” Rigsy asks, eyes darting between his wife and Clara.  “I mean it’s the least we can do.”

Clara smiles.  “That would be lovely.  But we’ve got a stop to make first.  Important...time business…thing.”

Rigsy’s face falls a little, sensing the brush-off.  “Right, no, I understand.”

“So, back in half an hour?” Clara offers, standing up.

Rigsy brightens.  “Yes!  Yeah!  That’s, we’ll be here.”

Smirking, the Doctor passes the baby off to her father.  “She needs changing.  Also she told me to tell you she really hates the strained peas, so if those could be stopped it would cut down on incidents at the dining table.”

As the TARDIS departs, Rigsy again falls to tears, but this time, at least, they are of relief.

***

Not love.

***

He shouldn’t be here.  He knows.  If he’s caught, by his superiors, this could mean court martial.  If he’s caught by the Cloister Wraiths, he’ll be filed.  Curiosity got the better of him.  He remembers Skull Moon too clearly to not be curious.  That a human could elicit that sort of response from the Doctor of War was astonishing; that any of them had seen that feral glittering in his eyes and lived was nearly unbelievable.  The Matrix was his best chance to understand why.

The recent data influx is massive.  Reams of information.  The Doctor and Clara Oswald…

The sound of a landing TARDIS makes him wheel, hand falling instinctively to his weapon...only…

Has the fool left the handbrake on?

A brown-haired head pops out of the doors of the blue police box as soon as it solidifies.  She catches his eye and smiles as if she’d expected him.  “Thought it might be you,” she says.  “Gastron, right?  The Doctor told me about you.”

He opens his mouth, but for a moment he can’t talk; his hearts are in his throat.  Then, in a hoarse whisper: “Ma’am it’s not safe for you to be here.”

“We’re not staying long.”  The Doctor eases out of the TARDIS behind her, tight-lipped and grim.  He gives Gastron a nod.

“Sir, you need to leave, quickly.  If you’re caught -”

“We won’t be,” he says simply.

The soldier looks helplessly between the two of them.  “Can I...can I ask you something, sir?”

The Doctor raises his eyebrows.

“Why’d you do it?   And why’d you come back?”

Clara points at the console behind him.  “Part of your answer’s in there.  But you knew that, that’s why you’re down here, isn’t it?”

“The rest is in here.”  The Doctor pulls a bronze disc from his pocket.  There is a deep groove in the center of the console, and he slots the confession dial into it.  “I think between the two you’ll find the answer you’re after.”

4.5 billion years worth of information; the data transfer is immense.  “No bells, no whistles, no alarms,” the Doctor points out after several minutes as Gastron scrolls through endless pages, face growing ever more fascinated and ever more troubled.

“I’ve disabled them,” Gastron says.  “You’re still President, sir.”

The Doctor scoffs.  “Oh that’s no excuse.”  His eyes narrow, dusty grey in the shadows, and a chill wanders up Gastron’s spine.  “You trust my orders?”

“Yes sir.”  No hesitation.

“Then in that case, allow me to give one last order.”

The console beeps.  There’s a whirr and a click and the confession dial ejects itself.  The Doctor catches it deftly and tips it at Gastron.  “Read it.  All of it.  And then take it with you.”

Gastron blinks.  “Sir?”

“The story that’s in there is one that needs telling,” Clara says gently.  “It shouldn’t stay down here in the dark.”

“Tell it,” the Doctor says.  “That’s your order; tell the story.”

There’s no short of confusion on the soldier’s face, but he nods, stiffly saluting.  The Doctor takes it with a grimace, and salutes back.

And then...the universe shifts.  The Doctor turns to Clara Oswald and Gastron can see everything in the periphery fall away.  Orbits and rotations stutter and slow, and for a moment that is the barest thousandth of the beat of a hummingbird’s wings, everything stops.  Their eyes are locked; their hands clasped.  They are as much a fixed point as Trap Street.  Maybe even more so.  They are The Fixed Point.  The origin; lynch-pin that locks them all together.  All others spin endlessly off of them like a spider’s web.

And then it’s over, and the universe resolves itself into motion again.  Clara offers a small wave in parting and Gastron is left trying to remember how to breathe in the face of something so profound.  Words glow and shift on the console, a story waiting to be read.  Gastron feeds a blank data cartridge into the console and begins the download as the TARDIS de-materializes behind him.

He has his orders.

***

Not always.

#whouffaldi #twelve x clara #doctor who fanfiction #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #I don't know whether to be relieved that I'm done or sad that it's over #either way #I got to give them a happy exit #before christmas and all #I'll take it #I hope you guys have enjoyed this trainwreck

[dreameater1988]

The Doctor’s & Clara’s romance

I’ve made a little compilation of all the notable Whouffle and Whouffaldi moments over the seasons, along with my thoughts and theories:

Their relationship was set up as romance right from the very beginning with these words, because it becomes obvious right away that Clara might be romantically interested in the Doctor by hinting at future snogging. I don’t believe that she immediately jumped him, but she let him know from the beginning that she wasn’t uninterested. 

Let’s jump to “The Crimson Horror” where Eleven and Clara pose as husband and wife and they both convinced Mrs Gilliflower, a woman who is anything but stupid. In fact, they both seem to enjoy it, too.

I always like to believe that the end of “Nightmare in Silver” is the moment Eleven realizes that he fancies Clara because he notices her on a physical level. Besides, the conversation Mr Clever had with Clara in which “the Doctor” confesses his love to Clara is probably based on the Doctor’s own thoughts to which Mr Clever had access at that moment, but Clara saw through it and knew that the Doctor would never admit it.

When Clara suggests that she needs a boyfriend for Christmas dinner Eleven was excited. He actually believed that she was serious for a moment and he was more than happy to be her boyfriend, yet at the same time he was a bit worried that he might disappoint Clara. It was Eleven who was disappointed when he realized that Clara wasn’t actually serious.

Unfortunately they never really got to explore that part of their relationship because he got stranded on Trenzalore and later regenerated.

Matt Smith has confirmed that Clara was sort of his girlfriend while Jenna said in an interview or during a panel that Clara realized she was in love with him during the regeneration.

The rest is under a cut because it’s long:

After his regeneration the Doctor picks up where they left of, with the boyfriend argument. He assumes Clara never actually wanted him to be her boyfriend and admits that it was his mistake for assuming so for a brief moment. 

I never actually paid a lot of attention to this dialogue before watching the German dub for the first time and afterwards I realized that it could be read in various ways. In the German dub “Am I home?” was translated to “Do you want me to live here?” and the Doctor reply is “If that is what you want” and I now realize that the English original can be read as exactly that. The Doctor was more than happy to let Clara live with him.

The Doctor is heartbroken when he realizes that Clara doesn’t understand that he and Eleven are the same person and that his feelings for her haven’t changed and he begs her to give him a chance, which she does.

We all know that Clara started dating Danny in S8 because for her a romance with the Doctor was off the table now that he had made it clear he wasn’t her boyfriend, yet the Doctor is anything but fine with the competition. One of my favourite scenes and clear indication that the Doctor was jealous and actively trying to sabotage Clara’s relationship was the moment he hid in her bedroom during her date. He didn’t want her to be with anyone else.

Nevertheless, he is curious and wants to know just how serious Clara is about the other man and when he realizes that she is in fact serious, he can’t just let it happen.

He is jealous, but he can’t openly show it, so he decides to just do better than the competition.

The brief moment during “The Caretaker” when Twelve assumes she is dating Adrian breaks my heart every time I watch it. He thinks that Clara has chosen the young, dorky looking man with a bowtie who reminds him so much of his former self and he feels reassured that Clara is only using Adrian as substitute because Eleven is gone and that she still loves him. In his head the Doctor thinks that if she still loves Eleven, she can love the current him as well.

The Doctor is devastated when he realizes that Clara isn’t dating Adrian, but Danny, a soldier who couldn’t be more unlike the Doctor.

Again he is competitive and starts showing off while Danny is in the room, trying to prove that he is better for Clara, that he can take her to places Danny couldn’t even imagine, trying to show him that Clara is his by proving she wouldn’t hesitate to run away with him even in the middle of her date with Danny. 

MOTOE is meant as their break-up, their “last hurrah”, because Clara thinks she has chosen Danny and can no longer travel with the Doctor because he has changed. However, she is shocked to learn that their goodbye might be a bit more final than she had in mind and tries to cling to him despite her decision of not wanting to continue wit their travels. She is nervous and frightened. She doesn’t actually want to stop seeing him.

I think the “last hurrah” ist more like a “first hurrah” to them because I genuinely believe that they slept together on the Orient Express, probably for the very first time. That is based on a theory by @anotheruserwithnoname (if you would be so kind to reblog this with a link to your theory added, I couldn’t find it on your blog). The entire corridor scene is sizzling with sexual tension, as several articles have pointed out. Also the fact that both the Doctor and Clara were utterly nervous suggests that they knew what they were about to do (for the first time).

Clara specifically uses the word “dump” and unlike Danny she knows that the Doctor is sort of like a boyfriend or at least has the potential to be because S8 is basically a love triangle story.

After their adventure on the Orient Express Clara understands the Doctor a little better and she knows that she can’t leave him, so she decides to lie to Danny, her boyfriend, about running away with another man. If the Doctor had been just a friend Clara could have told him, she could have told Danny that she had decided to keep travelling with him and their previous phone call tells me that Danny would have understood and Clara knows this. Yet she still decided to keep the Doctor a secret - because he is more than a friend.

This is one of the strongest lines the Doctor has ever said to Clara and Steven Moffat himself confirms that it was meant as an “I love you”, but in this case “I love you” wasn’t enough. The Doctor’s feelings for her are so strong that they cannot be expressed simply by those three words.

This is a very interesting bit of dialogue because it raises the question why the Doctor is angry. Because he is travelling to the afterlife to get Clara’s boyfriend back, the boyfriend of the woman he loves. He doesn’t actually want to do it, but he has to because he loves her so much and he would tear the world apart to make her happy, even if it means that she is going to be with another man.

Towards the end of the episode Clara says something to Danny that makes him realize he never stood a chance against the Doctor. She tells him “He is the closest person to me in this whole world. He’s the man I will always forgive, always trust, the one man I would never, ever lie to.” It hits Danny that he can never compete with that, that even though Clara may have loved him, she will never love Danny as much as she loves the Doctor.

Yet Clara does lie to the Doctor at the end of “Death in Heaven”, just like the Doctor lies to Clara because they want the best for the other (and because they’re idiots). It is only later that they realize just how miserable the other has been and decide to elope together at the end of “Last Christmas”.

Playing “Pretty Woman” is an undeniably romantic gesture, one even Missy recognizes because she gives Clara a look. After telling her all about how Time Lords are above love and romance the Doctor goes and proves her wrong and you can read from Missy’s face that she thinks “oh what an idiot”. 

When the Doctor tells Clara that she needs another relationship, what he actually tells her is that she needs a relationship with a human, someone mortal, someone to keep her grounded. He wasn’t okay sharing Clara with Danny, but I think Clara’s relationship with Jane Austen is proof enough that he isn’t generally against sharing her with a person who would be good for her. He repeats that later in TGWD. However, Clara reassures him that he is enough for her both times.

Funnily enough the bit of dialogue in between where he tells her that humans are always writing songs about relationships or go to war is exactly what the Doctor will do for Clara at a later point.

I’m still in shock over the fact that this line was actually on the show. Obviously, they never say “I love you” to each other. Clara doesn’t because she promised Danny that she wouldn’t say it to someone else. The Doctor doesn’t because his feelings for her are a lot deeper than a simple “I love you”. Yet here is the confirmation that they loved each other. Clara assumes it and the Doctor proves it by coming back for her.

This is the scene where Clara understands for the first time just how their relationship is going to end, I believe. He said it to her before during that episode, he said that one day the memory of her will hurt so much that he won’t be able to breathe, but I don’t think Clara understood it at that point because they were still in the middle of trying to save Ashildr. Here she realizes that she is the person the Doctor truly can’t bear to lose.

Again, they never said those three words to each other for reasons I’ve already mentions and right before her death Clara is afraid that he is going to say them at last because it would rob her of her courage to go through with it. She knows that he loves her, but if she hears those words she knows she will want to stay. For his and for her own sake.

The parallel with the old couple was wonderful and subtle, but that is exactly what the Doctor and Clara are at this point. They are in a romantic relationship, if not married. And there is a wonderful theory out there that I’ve seen her here, but I don’t remember who posted it that said the sudden shift in their S9 relationship makes much more sense if you assume they got married after “Last Christmas”.

In his quiet moments during his 4.5 billion years in the confession dial that is what the Doctor does. He imagines that Clara is by his side. Steven Moffat also said in an interview that the Doctor painted the portrait of Clara from memory.

Again I’d like to point out that the Doctor spent 4.5 billion years trapped in his own person torture chamber and there are moments he thinks about giving up, he thinks about confessing everything, but he doesn’t because that is his last chance of saving Clara. It’s a small chance, but he clings to it because he is determined to get her back.

Even Clara is surprised when she learns just how far he would go for her, what he would go through just to have a tiny chance of saving her and she is shocked that he would do that.

Finally, in the cloisters, Clara decides to come clean and I believe she told him a lot of things during the scene we never saw, including that she loves him, even though she might not have used those exact words. 

Ashildr is older than the Doctor in this scene and she has seen everything there is to see. She knows the Doctor and Clara are more than just friends, she tells him her theory that together they are the hybrid. That is how strong their love is - it can destroy the universe.

In the end they both realize that they have to part ways because if they don’t do it now, they will never have the courage to, but even this last scene shows how bonded they truly are. “Let’s do it like we’ve done everything else. Together.” And by everything I believe they truly mean everything.

#whouffaldi #whouffle #twelve x clara #doctor who #feel free to add stuff

[anotheruserwithnoname]

Belated thoughts on The Doctor Falls

(Spoilers, obviously)

A late “review” owing to me being out of down and offline for the Canada Day long weekend. Now to make up for lost time...

I make no secret of nor do I apologize for the fact I was very disappointed with Series 10 as a whole. I stand by my opinion that it is - taken as a whole - the weakest season of 10 we’ve had since the series returned. BUT, in the 9th inning, Steven Moffat managed to score a home run, even though it was more of the “players fumbling to catch the ball” inside-the-park homer than a “knock it out of the park” blockbuster. It ranks a solid 3rd behind The Name of the Doctor and Hell Bent among Modern Era finale episodes and for the most part left me smiling (albeit a sad smile).

More thoughts after the break:

I’m going to get the negative stuff out of the way first.

I have mixed feelings about how Bill’s fate was handled (not the fate itself). I love the fact that Moffat managed to come up with a way to get Bill out of her dilemma and reunite her with Heather in such a way that promises future adventures (Big Finish and Chris Chibnall take note). It’s great that we finally got a pair of Moffat companions (including Nardole, though more on him in a moment) who basically survived their time with the Doctor. However, I wish Moffat hadn’t copied what he did with Clara and Ashildr in Hell Bent: making the companion immortal and sending her off on adventures with an immortal companion of her own (only difference being the romance direction: with Clara it was separation from her OTP; with Bill it was reunion with her OTP). I spoke to a few friends who watched it on Saturday and they were very upset by this. Not because they were Clara fans (believe me, they aren’t - in fact they pretty much hated Series 8 and 9) but because it was so similar to what happened last season. And I am annoyed at people saying that this is setting up the spinoff everyone wants, when that’s exactly the same thing they said with Clara and Ashildr in 2015! (That said, I agree with everyone who says getting the four together would kick ass. Big Finish, again take note.)

I also wish Heather had been referenced more during the season. If she was supposed to be Bill’s OTP, why was she basically forgotten for 10 episodes? As a result, while it was great to see Heather return, it still had a feeling of deus ex machina about it that was unfortunate. And any viewers who missed The Pilot and jumped on late - they were screwed figuring out what the heck that was all about with the woman made of water. 

One last negative was the fact we were left with no real resolution for Nardole. We saw him setting off with a bunch of kids and a girlfriend(!) but the impression given is they were still dead because they’d be spending their time moving up the ship and eventually the Cybermen would regroup and get ‘em. I hope Moffat plans to resolve this at Christmas because I felt the story wasn’t completed. This one I’d hate to have to leave to Big Finish to flesh out but perhaps they’ll have to.

OK - negative stuff over. Time for the positives.

Despite the fact I disliked World Enough and Time on the whole, I said I loved the opening and the closing minutes of that episode. Well, The Doctor Falls was basically all “opening and closing minutes,” (you can take that literally as virtually every scene felt like a teaser or cliffhanger and the longer running time flew by) and it was great and exactly the type of episode I was starved for this series. Had Series 10 had more of these I might have even joined the chorus of those calling Series 10 the best, even without Clara.

Despite the criticism I just stated, I loved how Bill and Heather were reunited (read my complaint again and the bottom line is I wanted there to be more of them) and Pearl Mackie gave her best performance ever as Bill. The character had a shaky start in my opinion, but Mackie was exemplary and Bill stands proud with the other iconic companions because of it. She’ll go far.

And Matt Lucas was great as always, and in some respects I’m going to miss Nardole more than Bill (ironic since I hated Nardole in the 2015 Christmas special). That’s nothing against Bill or Pearl Mackie, but even though he was shoehorned in to a good chunk of the season, Lucas just felt right once it was decided to make him a proper companion, and that was something that occurred to me way back in Return of Doctor Mysterio. I’d say Lucas would go fear but the guy’s already gone far. So I’ll just say he’ll go farther.

The Master Twins were amazing and had terrific chemistry and while I don’t believe for one second that this is the end for the Master (the Missy incarnation, perhaps), it was a unique resolution to Missy’s arc that I’m sure had many going “why hadn’t we thought of that?” I also found it fascinating to see how the Saxon Master reacted to having a female incarnation (despite the Doctor’s comments last week, Saxon seemed to suggest Missy was his first/only female version). He wasn’t that thrilled about it, really, which caught me by surprise. It added an unexpected depth to their meeting. I only wish we saw Simm regenerate into Gomez but then maybe that opens the door for another incarnation, if Missy is truly the final Master. I kind of hope she is, because it would be great to think that in the end, after teasing the concept for 46 years, the show finally made good on the promise of redeeming the Master. Plus, let’s be honest, male or female, who could follow Michelle Gomez?

And then there was Peter. What can I say? I mean, his speech about kindness is one they’re going to be quoting for years. And I hope the other Doctor actors are ready because just as with the Pandorica speech and the Zygon Inversion speech, they’re going to be asked to recite it forever. I’ve given up on awards, but Peter Capaldi is in my opinion the best actor to ever pilot the TARDIS, and I’m not just saying that because he’s the incumbent and I liked Whouffaldi. No - all the actors who have played the Doctor were amazing (yes, even him - whoever you want “him” to be). But Capaldi is the best. And I am including Sir John Hurt as I say that, with no disrespect intended to the late legend (or any of the others).

The regeneration - I mean, wow. And to see him repress it. That’s new and will make the Christmas special absolutely fascinating to watch from a performance perspective, alone.

David Bradley as the First Doctor? I don’t know about that. This isn’t 1983 when Richard Hurndall could step into William Hartnell’s shoes because no one had DVDs of any of Bill’s episodes. Apparently we’ve already had some viewers state confusion on Twitter over who this old guy is. I’ve no doubt that David Bradley will do a good job, but recasting an earlier Doctor, especially one with such a different acting style... jury is out. Much as I like Bradley I actually would have been more in favour of Sean Pertwee appearing as his dad. Ask me again on December 26.

Finally, of course, me being a Whouffaldi fan I cannot end this without mentioning the Clara flashback. I can’t begin to express how important this was. For her to have been omitted ... while it might have worked from the memory block perspective, it would have made the sequence feel incomplete. Does it mean the Doctor remembers Clara? Actually, we know that he does to a degree already - he says so to Clara herself in Hell Bent that he remembers their adventure together and has been able to piece together a lot about Clara, and at the end of the episode he sees Rigsy’s portrait of her, so he now remembers her face and, thanks to the diner, her voice. But then again - he would remember her face and voice from the diner if it was a “fresh” memory, right? Instead, he remembers her as she was in Last Christmas. So is it possible that Bill’s tears did more than give Twelve a stay of execution? That they - or the fact the Doctor is mid-regeneration - have undone it. Time will tell. I’m aware of certain tabloid reports today (also mentioned on the BBC) and I refuse to get my hopes up. But maybe it was foreshadowing. Or Moffat simply realized that to leave Clara out of a roll-call of every Modern Era companion would have made him look like a dick. Either way, we got a final direct reference to Clara to end the season on. (And River fans got one too, so everyone’s happy.)

One of these days I’ll do a proper postmortem on Series 10, going into detail as to why I didn’t care for it as a whole. But for me the finale hit all the right notes and leaves me looking forward to Christmas, even though a sad milestone awaits.

PS: Because there seems to be a lot of people harping online about Clara’s appearing in the flashback and the potential for her to appear at Christmas (of the “don’t bring her back ever” variety) let me state for the record that as far as I am concerned Bill Potts and Nardole are welcome to reappear or be referenced any time. Hopefully they’ll get a nod at Christmas.

#twelfth doctor #bill potts #the doctor falls #nardole #doctor who commentary #DWS10SPOILERS

[script101]

Black Hole as Metaphor (or "This is my mistake. Let me make it good")

We didn’t catch it.

What Twelve said… it was a BOMBSHELL!

…and we just let it slide by…

Missed in all the scary, the “wait… is that…? Nah.” the scary, the shock of the Cold Open, the scary, me shouting at the TV “WHY WON’T PEOPLE READ THE GIFT OF FEAR?!?!”, the “wait… OH FFS IT IS!!!!!”, the scary, the “Good job on the black hole, but um, NO. Sorry, 20 people is NOT a viable gene pool.”, the scary, and… um… the really really scary was something HUGE: Twelve forgot he hates the Time Lords. He didn’t just FORGET the specific details of CLARA, TWELVE SEEMS TO HAVE FORGOTTEN THE EVENTS OF “HEAVEN SENT” AND “HELL BENT”. Did ya’ll catch the way Twelve, TWELVE, spoke of Gallifrey: “We’re the most civilized civilization in the Universe. We’re billions of years beyond your petty human obsession with gender and it’s associated stereotypes.”

He sure looked like he meant it!

This is a Big Black Hole as metaphor for the Black Hole in Twelve’s memory.

Memories of Clara haven’t been coming back. The theory was brilliant. I thought they were. Instead, it seems memories of Clara have been FADING.

I won’t be surprised if they come flooding back.

________ …the doctor has seen an innocent human forced into a Dalek cage or converted into a Cyberman.

Oh, the Time Lords! Those precious civilized jewels of the Universe. That darling species that trapped Twelve in his own personal hell for 4.5 BILLION YEARS. Just to get a bit of information out of him. This torture occurred was AFTER their scheme resulted in him helplessly watching Clara die “I just watched my best friend die in agony, my day can’t get any worse.” (“Heaven Sent”). Yes, The Most Civilized Civilization in the Universe engaged in a criminal conspiracy to illegally kidnap and torture someone, and that criminal conspiracy led to the unlawful death of another person. That means that no matter what miscalculation Clara made on Trap Street, the Time Lords are ultimately responsible for her death. Yes, Clara made a selfless sacrifice on Trap Street because she made an error, but Clara was only ON Trap Street AT ALL because the Time Lords tricked her and Twelve by threatening Ashildr’s “Asylum for Extraterrestrials”. The fact that Clara died during the commission of a Time-Lord-Planned felony criminal conspiracy to kidnap and torture The Doctor means that count of manslaughter gets bumped up to murder. And it’s TWO counts of kidnapping actually: the Janus was held captive under the pretense of death when she was instead merely in a stasis chamber. And fraud! They framed Rigsy for a crime that never happened. And since all of this centered around The Time Lords blackmailing Ashildr, I’m gonna add a count o’ racketeering to “The Most Civilized Civilization in the Universe”’s rap sheet. Bastards.

And suddenly The Doctor is speaking about them like the end all be all of everything? Really? (“I know a boat you can get on. Bye bye!”) Did you all notice that Twelve is now LITERALLY falling apart at the seams (what was with that ratty jacket?), but since when has Twelve decided the Time Lords, the people he ran away from centuries ago and would have annihilated (had not Clara raised her hand and stopped Ten and Eleven) were totally awesome????

So, yeah, Y'all, gonna go out on a limb and say Twelve’s description of Time Lords means that at the moment he was speaking to Bill, he didn’t remember anything that happened.

Memories of Clara HAVEN’T been returning. That theory was brilliant. Really was. But it now seems undeniable that they’ve instead been FADING.

This is now the second time The Doctor has seen someone he called a companion SHOVED INTO A HELLCAGE (like Clara, twice, first before he met her but was enchanted by her when she was a doomed splinter who had really been converted, the other was Clara Prime in “Witch’s Familiar” because Missy was being a bitch). He got Clara out, but after what Missy tried to trick Twelve into doing, combined with how upset Clara was and his own memory of Oswin, that near miss was traumatic. And this, this right here, yeah um this is me not saying anything about the optics of both Bill and Danny Pink being (ugh) “upgraded” into Cybermen. There’s a fifth if you count Craig too, but he got out so I’ll just say four.

Four (maybe five) humans Twelve has cared about and watched die or almost die in the process of being converted into mindless automatons.

I think this is enough to snap him out of that memory wipe.

I’d REALLY like to see those memories come flooding back. If they do, we will have a Time Lord with a TARDIS and some very legitimate anger management issues. If so, I think he’ll try to undo what happened to Bill.

THE PARADOX ALREADY EXISTS. This timeline is seemingly intentionally not making sense. It’s Moffat’s last episode. Why go out by killing the only companion everyone likes? Go out with a bang on the event horizon of a Black Hole! Heck, show us we’ve been in some kind of Leonard Susskind back hole universe! Have fun!

I think it’s PLAUSIBLE that BILL could walk away from this. It’s possible that what we saw in the cold open for s10 e11 was the price.

Yes. This wouldn’t be the first time a companion was saved by magic. It’s O.K. It’s tv. Besides, I like Steven Moffat. I know he’s going to get attacked no matter what he writes, but I don’t need to be a genius to know that If Bill doesn’t make it, the backlash to that is gonna be far worse than what he will get if he wrote a way to save her even if it turns out to be too cute or twee. He’s gotta know that as well. We’re losing Twelve. We’re losing Missy (whom we should all hate but we all love and you know it). Nardole isn’t going to be around next season. Let’s let ONE member of “Team TARDIS Season 10” live. Specifically let it be Bill.

On a serious tangential note, PLEASE read Gavin DeBecker’s book “The Gift of Fear.” It’s $6 on Amazon. Wanna spoiler? The most reliable predictor you are in danger? You make a JOKE about possibly being in danger. It’s so reliable it even shows up in fiction even though almost no one is consciously aware of it.

Just take the last episode, starting around 12:20. BILL: She (Missy) scares me. Like, she really scares me.“ (Long pause) “Okay. So promise me one thing.” “Just promise you won’t get me killed.” DOCTOR: “I can’t promise you that!” BILL: (chucking) “Thanks.”

(me sighing) That was the moment Bill knew she was in real danger of dying. She just blew it off. Irl, saying things like that are indeed reliable warnings of danger. In the first episode of the season, The Doctor knew fear was smart. (“Scared is good. Scared is rational.”) Now he’s back to being just as stupidly reckless as Eleven was.

Memories of Clara faded. I won’t be surprised if (indeed I HOPE that) they come back in a flood and this causes him to think of a non-universe-shattering way to save Bill.

__________ I know I’m being mean to the Time Lords. At least none of them ever admitted to driving any other Time Lords crazy. Oh. Never mind. (Might be wrong on that last one as I’m just going from memory. Obviously I’m American. An unqualified dangerous Narcissists holding elected office isn’t entertainment. It’s the fucking news.)

I’m sure John Simm is a lovely person irl. Truly. A scary scary scary scary scary but probably lovely person in real life. I won’t know. If I ever see him I’ll be running away while whimpering. Consider it a compliment: he’s a very good actor. (shudders)

#doctor who spoilers #doctor who #twelfth doctor #bill potts #12th doctor #doctor who missy #MISSY #world enough and time

[actual-bill-potts]

Thoughts on "The Lie of the Land"

•LOL MAGPIE ELECTRONICS

•That was a superb episode, and not just by Whithouse standards either. Possibly the best of the trilogy.

•Nardole being Actual Spock was hilarious and…kind of impressive? At this rate he’s going to be my favorite character before the series is over.

•That whole scene at the beginning when Bill shoots the Doctor was very intense, but I found the abrupt resolution hilarious. Not sure if my sudden shriek of laughter when Twelve started giggling at Bill was actually due to the comedic timing or just a reaction to the stress of the episode, but it was effective ether way.

•Murray Gold surpassed himself with the score in this one. If the series 10 soundtrack is withheld from us like last time, I’m going to be very frustrated.

•I love that Twelve actually called Bill out on ignoring his wishes, but I also liked that it was all part of his fake routine and dismissed after that. Because on the one hand, it’s arguable that Bill made a very wrong choice that violated the consent of millions of people, including the Doctor. On the other hand, neither she nor the Doctor would be who they were if they could let a person they loved die when they had a way to save them. And I think the Doctor understands that (also he’d be a huge hypocrite if he was too hard on Bill for her actions).

•Not much to say about the Monks here, since they didn’t actually show up much. But that was actually a nice touch, reflecting both the Monks’ arrogance and the fact that these planetary takeovers seem to be routine for them. It added to the dystopian feel of this episode.

•I adored the ending. It was a little sappy but that’s just Doctor Who for you. I loved the callback to “Extremis” in Bill’s mum being a subroutine that took on life (and saved the world). This arc was just beautiful thematically.

•GO BILL GO ILU BILL. She has yet to make me regret my url. I was moved by many of her scenes this episode, especially her preparing to shoot the Doctor and saying good-bye at the end (how River-ish of her to tie the Doctor up first). Pearl Mackie did some incredible work here.

•Speaking of Bill, I am loving her character arc this series because it’s so cohesive. Every episode just flows naturally into the next in terms of her character. Her memories of her mum at the end could have been an obvious plot device, but her mum’s importance to her, talking to her mum in times of stress, etc. were already set up in episodes like “Knock Knock” and “Oxygen” and this felt like an obvious extension of that. I’m actually amazed at how fully-formed Bill feels at this point.

•And now: MISSY.

•First of all, what does she want with a pony?

•Michelle Gomez managed to steal the episode in like two minutes of screen time, which is Unfair. How is she even a real person.

•Missy’s singsong “Awk-ward” is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.

•Having seen this whole three-parter, I can now unequivocally say that I love the reveal behind the vault! It’s touching and so true to who the Doctor and the Master are, that he’d ground himself to redeem her.

•Here is where I’d like to take a moment and really appreciate Simm!Master. Because he wiped out a tenth of Earth at one point, which seems so big. And I was wondering the other day why the Master is still considered a redeemable character after all that. Of course, this show believes that everyone is redeemable (and I agree), but deeper than that it reminds me that the Doctor obliterated whole planets and species during the Time War. So Missy and the Doctor have got this almost Frodo-Gollum thing going on, where Twelve is desperate to redeem Missy because it proves that he himself can be redeemed. There’s a lot to dislike about the Master stories in the Davies era, but they also built a really solid foundation for what’s happening now.

•UGH WHEN SHE STARTED CRYING I STARTED CRYING. Not cool, show. Not cool.

•I do appreciate that they’re showing repentance and reform as a (very) long process that involves a significant amount of pain. I think it’s realistic and I especially appreciate that these scenes neither brush Missy’s crimes under the rug nor present her as wholly irredeemable.

•As a Christian, I’m also really loving the theme of redemption that’s so strong this series. Nobody is beyond forgiveness, and everybody can change, even a millennia-old Time Lady. (All you need to do is call upon the name of Jesus.)

•At the same time, I wonder if Clara would ever support this? I’m thinking no, just because of Danny. Which is an interesting difference between her and Twelve—for all his talk, Twelve forgave even Ashildr relatively quickly. Whereas I think Clara can hold grudges for a really long time. That would have been an interesting dynamic to play out, seeing how much Clara would resist the idea of Twelve trying to reform Missy. Oh well. I also loved all of Bill and Missy’s interactions, so there we are.

•Twelve and Nardole were brilliant as usual this episode and that’s about all I have to say about that.

•Wonderful, wonderful episode! Looking forward to seeing the Ice Warriors again next week.

#dw scribblings #dw spoilers #twelve #bill potts #nardole #doctor who

[katefathers]

Kate Watches: Doctor Who 9x06 & 9x07

Previously on Doctor Who, we had the beginning of what could have been a fascinating morality play if it hadn’t been for poor narrative choices and dodgy CGI.

But before I get to the episode itself, I want to touch on the strange girl-woman dichotomy that exists within Steven Moffat’s series. In these episodes alone, one is about a “girl”, and the other a “woman”. Previously Amy and Clara, both adult women in their twenties when their tenures began, have been labelled “girls” (”The Girl Who Waited”, “Souffle Girl”), while River Song and Irene Adler are “women” (although true, Irene’s label was originally crafted by Arthur Conan Doyle). Ashildr was young in “The Girl Who Died”, but given that her immortality prevents her from aging and she goes on to have children, she is clearly an adult when the Doctor first meets her; Maisie Williams was nineteen when the episode aired. So why are Amy and Clara and Ashildr “girls”? What distinguishes them from River and Irene? Is it the agency they’re allowed to exercise, or how their narratives sexualise them? And why is gender so important in Moffat’s writing? In the shows Moffat helms, characters are often given titles that build them up within the narrative and are connected to their gender (although it’s important to note that male characters are never “boys”). That part of a character’s identity is, for whatever reason, important. But why? “Girl” is often associated with youth, so is that what he’s emphasizing? But Martha Jones was “The Woman Who Walked the Earth”, and she was roughly the same age as Amy and Clara, so why is she allowed to be a woman--an adult--while they aren’t? Is there a reason for that? Or can it be boiled down to pure sexism?

”The Woman Who Lived”, written not by Moffat or Jamie Mathieson but Catherine Tregenna, picks up with Ashildr centuries after she was made immortal. The Doctor is travelling without Clara (Clara’s part-time companion role is something I still find a little strange and awkward), and consequently the bulk of the episode is taken up with the parallels between the Doctor and Ashildr. They have both lived for a long time. They have both lost people they loved. On the face of it this is a very compelling story, but there is something missing and it’s a bit difficult to pinpoint exactly what. Is it the writing? Is it the acting? Is it the direction? Is it all three? Given the subject matter, this should have been an episode full of anger and bitterness. Ashildr may have forgotten the woman she was (an angle I loved), but when she realised that it was the Doctor who made her immortal there should have been more of a reaction. She should have been furious. She should have lashed out. She called him a hero, but after centuries shouldn’t that have soured? And even if she didn’t because she didn’t want to alienate the Doctor as part of a greater plan, there should have been some struggle within herself. While she does get upset towards the end of the episode, buildup would have made that moment feel earned. It would have been the result of Ashildr’s emotional journey.

Speaking of journeys, it’s clear that Tregenna is trying to fill in the gaps left by the previous episode and build on what came before, but as there was so little to build on her efforts are falling a little flat. We didn’t see enough of Ashildr as a character for the changes she’s gone through, and her forgetting her Viking life, to have much of an impact. Tregenna is trying to delve in to the moral complexity of Ashildr’s immortality, but she doesn’t go deep enough. This episode could have been something like “Boom Town, laying bare the consequences of the Doctor’s actions and asking the hard questions. Was it his place to choose immortality for Ashildr? Should he have let her die? Did he save her? Was this cruel? Ashildr wants off the slow path, but does she want to die? It’s funny that Tregenna should name-check Jack Harkness, because he is not only a past example of Doctor Who tackling a human-turned-immortal, but an example of what you can do with that kind of character. Both on Doctor Who and Torchwood, Jack’s immortality was explored as a blessing and a curse. He had met amazing people and lived a dozen lives, but he also lost. He ruined just as many lives as he saved. “Do you want to die?” the Doctor asked him as Jack used his immortality to help people, and his answer was complicated. Jack’s immortality was complicated. How the Doctor treated him was also examined; he wasn’t allowed to feel comfortable in his abandonment of another person. “The Woman Who Lived” could have handled Ashildr’s immortality in a similar way, but it instead chose a superficial approach. It’s a true shame, as this episode--and this concept--had a lot of potential.

Next we have “The Zygon Invasion” by Peter Harness, the writer of “Kill the Moon”. This episode did not get off to a good start. It’s no secret that I hate the 50th Anniversary episode and the Time War retcon. I found it lazy and unimaginative, and was actually rather pleased when Series 8 largely chose to ignore it. Series 9 is not going the same way, as the pre-credits scene reminds us of the events of that episode. And the Tenth Doctor’s terrible hair.

Why must you hurt me in this way, Harness?

The bulk of this episode is focused on setting up the second episode, introducing the Zygon conflict (which would wrap up the Zygon storyline that Moffat forgot about in “The Day of the Doctor”) and getting the characters in place. There’s a Harriet Jones reference. There are parallels drawn to the refugee crisis. Clara gets to be an active character. The psychological horror of the story, people not knowing whether their loved ones are human or Zygon, is really well done, as is the twist at the end of Clara having been turned in to a Zygon for most of the episode. I wasn’t a huge fan of Osgood the few times we saw her, largely due to her costuming which doesn’t feel natural, but I didn’t mind her here. One of my favourite parts of this episode, however, was the Doctor’s position as the voice of peace and dialogue. He isn’t throwing his name around. He isn’t threatening anyone and “making armies run away”. He’s trying to avoid violence. He wants a sustainable, peaceful solution. This is the Doctor I love, and I’m thrilled to see him again.

If there’s a flaw in this episode, it’s that it could use more grounding. There’s a major intergalactic incident happening in London and around the world, and not once does Clara think of her family or friends or co-workers (at least before she becomes a Zygon). While there are moments that read as suspicious--where you wonder if something has happened to Clara--Clara’s lack of thought for the people she loves isn’t one of. Two Christmas specials ago Clara had a father and stepmother and grandmother; she was enough a part of the slow path to have a job that would miss her. Two series ago, she lived with family friends and was a close part of their lives. What happened to them? Has she grown apart from them all? If so, why does the narrative not acknowledge that? This is something I’m going to be paying a lot of attention to.

The episode ends with a cliffhanger, and I admit I’m curious to see the end. Sometimes the pacing was slow, and sometimes the acting wasn’t up to scratch, but “The Zygon Invasion” was still an interesting episode.

#Kate watches #Doctor Who #Doctor Who Series 9 #criticism #analysis #review #spoilers

[loversandantiheroes]

Jigsaw - a Whouffaldi fic - Part 6

Author’s Note: The last of Clara’s memories come to light.  We’re very nearly to the end, folks.  One more chapter to go.

Summary: Because some pieces can’t be kept apart forever.  Post- Hell Bent reunion fic.  Part six.

Rating: T

Warnings: Short-lived character death, Timey-Wimey Pillow Talk

Word Count: 2774

AO3 Link: here

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

“Are you going to tell me why?” Clara calls out.

Their footfalls echo out through the vaulted hall as Clara and Me hurry after the Sister’s entourage.

Ohila does not turn, but her long red veil trembles with the shaking of her head. “I should think I made my reasons clear. For you to die on Trap Street now would be catastrophic.”

Clara seizes the woman’s arm, holding her fast. Ohila eases to a stop, unruffled, that look of polite interest back on her face.

“And is that it?”

“You think otherwise?”

“Met you lot,” Clara says, surprised at the bitter edge in her own voice. “And I trust you about as far as I can chuck a grand piano. When I told you how long it’s been, you were practically elated. It has been lifetimes, but I remember you. You counted off four and a half billion years like you were doing algebra. The Doctor suffered in that dial for eons and you didn’t even bat an eye.”

A brief flicker in Ohila’s eyes, gone so fast Clara’s not sure it was there at all. “And I shall continue to not bat my eyes,” she says quietly. “I advise you to do the same. It’s not far, but I advise against dawdling.”

The old woman’s fingers grasp her elbow once more, squeezing tightly, and the touch travels in a wave of goosebumps up her arm to her neck, leaving the words not here not yet to rattle around in her skull in a wordless vibration.

Confused, Clara swallows, nods, and drops her hand.

The hall winds away seemingly endlessly, a spiral going constantly down. They pass four or five sporadically arranged lifts before Ohila finds the one she wants. The feel of movement is so slight Clara can’t be sure what direction they’ve gone; there’s only a brief sensation of weightlessness in the pit of her stomach, a faint pressure in her ears, and then the doors hiss open again. A great red stone door swallows the wall at the end of a short hallway, flanked on either side by red-armored guards. Wordlessly, the Sisters approach the door. The guards part, each touching a small console on a plinth on either side of the door. The air crackles, the edges of the door glowing faintly as it swings open.

The other side is dark, torch-lit. A cool breeze drifts through, carrying the scent of fresh rain and distant sulphur.

“Mind your post, we will be returning shortly,” Ohila says, sweeping past the guards and into the dark.

Clara follows into the cool dark, Ashildr at her side, feeling the air shift as the door closes behind her, and fights the sudden urge to sprint off into the darkness.

“You alright?”

Clara blinks, peering into the dark until her eyes adjust and Me’s face appears beside her. “No,” she says. “No I don’t think I am at all. You believing all this?”

The perpetual viking shrugs and starts forward after the trailing red of the Sisters before they can disappear into the flickering shadows. “The readings were legitimate, I know that. Though I suppose there’s always the chance that they’re wrong about what will happen when the shade passes through you.”

“Willing to bet on that percentage?”

“85/15 and not in our favor? No. Not with those stakes I’m not.”

Clara nods at the swaying red-veiled figures. “Still don’t trust her.”

“I don’t think you need to.”

Clara cocks an eyebrow. “Don’t I?”

“I’ve read about the Sisterhood before. Immortality is a rare commodity in the universe, and frequently only obtained for a limited time. The real deal is hard to come by, otherwise I would’ve had much more company.”

“Right, I know, temporarily immortal, you did warn me I shouldn’t get used to it.”

“And I knew you wouldn’t listen,” Me says, smirking. “In any case, the Sisterhood, immortality is definitely their bailiwick. If she says they can pull this off, I’m inclined to believe her.”

“Still. I mean she could’ve suggested something to neutralize the energy or transmute it or something, this just…”

“Feels too good to be true?”

Clara kicks a stone out of her path, a small vent for her frustration, but she’ll take what she can get. “A bit, yeah.”

“You know you’re not even thinking about it,” Me says, somewhat quizzically. “I’m surprised. Figured it would’ve been the first thing on your mind.”

“What?”

“If it works, they take you back to Trap Street, you face the raven. You die. And then…”

Clara shrugs. “Then I suppose you’ll have to come pick me up before they bury me. I don’t even know how long it takes a regeneration kick in. When the Doctor was dying on Trenzalore that took a bit of time for him to sort of...process it I guess? But he was dying of old age. Bugger if I know how this going to work.”

That wry little I’m-eternal-and-you’re-so-daft-it’s-cute smile is back. “Still not thinking.”

Clara laughs, a nervous titter that sets her own teeth on edge. “Thinkin’ about what? For god’s sake I feel like I’m trying to plan faking my own death.”

“You are,” Ohila says, voice echoing over the stones with such sudden strength that it makes Clara jump. A rough-hewn temple squats amongst the stones, ringed by the dancing light of hundred of torch flames. Ohila stands at the edge of the steps, eyes sparkling like embers. “Make no mistake, Miss Oswald, that is exactly what you are doing. But your friend is right, there is something you have not considered.”

“What? Alright, what is it I’m missing?”

“What comes after. For you to have come back to Gallifrey when you did, means that if you were not outright ready to die, you were at least weary enough to accept an end. What I offer you after that end is yet more life. Are you prepared for that?”

Clara sputters and falls silent. Trying to think of the future, of an after, feels suddenly like trying to divide by zero. She thought of the Doctor’s face after he had regenerated, eyes wide and wild like a man on the gallows when the noose breaks. A moment of relief, of reprieve, and then confused horror at the impossible becoming not only possible, but real.

“I don’t know,” she says, a cold little knot of fear forming in her gut.

There’s no amusement in Ohila’s regard now. Her gaze is so sharp Clara can half-feel herself being peeled back and exposed like a deer on a butcher’s table. “A full regeneration cycle, augmented life span, augmented everything. The vortex has worked on you already, more than you know. A thousand years and your memory has not suffered for it as your friend’s did. Make no mistake, this will change you. Your consciousness, your awareness, will expand. Time Lords study for years in preparation and you have had none of that. What sort of person will you be, then, with all that life? All that knowledge? All that power? I need to know, before we go any further.”

“Are you afraid I’ll go find him?” Clara smiles tightly. “You are, aren’t you?”

“My dear I have no doubt in my mind you will find him the first chance you get,” she says, voice too gentle to be a judgement. “What I need to know is what you will do. Time Lords take oaths, bury secret names, take new ones. What will you bury this day, and what oath will you take?”

For a split second, she can’t think let alone speak, her mind is whirling too fast for the rest of her to catch up. Then Clara’s eyes blaze bright enough to make the fires look dim. “I am Clara Oswald. I’m no Doctor, no Master, no General; I am a Teacher. And I think you know my oath.”

Ohila nods, considering. “Well enough. Come then, Teacher.”

“No.”

Even the flames seemed to pause.

“I’ll not take another step until you tell me why you’re doing this. You know this was the only thing that kept me from finding the Doctor again. I see the bait. Where’s the catch?”

Silence swells, the crackling of the flames and the mournful sound of the wind through the ravine the only thing that stops the ringing in Clara’s ears from growing to a deafening pitch.

Then, in a whisper that carries on the wind like raven feathers, Ohila says, “Because I regret it. Because you are both owed better than what they did...what we did. When the Doctor pulled you out of Trap Street that day, there was nothing I could do for you, not then. But the two of you are cut of the same cloth, and thank God for that, because now there is a chance.”

“A chance to what?”

“To make amends. To you, and to the Doctor. And when you find him again, I want you to give him a message from me. Tell him cruelty and cowardice were not his sins alone. I knew what Rassilon meant to do, and I did nothing. I want you to tell him that I’m sorry I didn’t intervene sooner. You’re the best apology I can send an old friend for my part in your death, and his torture.”

Slowly, Clara steps forward, eyes fixed on the old woman’s face. If she’s a liar, she’s the best Clara’s ever seen.

Her mouth too dry to speak, Clara nods her assent.

The temple gates swing open. Another of the Sisterhood trails down the stairs towards her, holding aloft a cup of burnished gold.

“I prepared this brew myself, in expectation of your return,” Ohila says of the gleaming cup. Something dark swirls inside it, flecked with black and gold.

Me watches, still and silent, fascinated.

The cup is warm as Clara takes it. She wishes, for what she realizes might be the last time, that her heart could pound. Soon enough, she thinks.

The elixir is thick, syrupy, tasting of near-rotten grapes and something faint and charred, like a lightning-struck wine barrel. She downs it to the last drop. It settles in her belly, warming, then dispersing, sending little tingling waves of heat out into her limbs.

Ohila smiles, the facade cracking ever so slightly. An apology underneath, guilt and contrition, but then it passes, and the mask reforms. “Come,” she says, and the kindness in her voice is startling. “It’s time you face your raven.”

They talk on the way. Make plans. The Lady Me is already calculating the coordinates for Trap Street in her head when they reach the door that leads back to Gallifrey. When they reach the extraction chamber, Ohila instructs one of the guards to call up a shuttle to take Ashildr back to the TARDIS.

“Don’t be late,” Clara says, pulling Me into a bone-cracking embrace.

“No chance,” she says. “I’m glad, you know. After this long, the universe would’ve been lonely without you. See you on the other side, Clara.”

Inside the chamber, the General paces, a long streak of red against the sterile white. “Is it done?”

“Yeah. Yes. Done,” Clara breathes in a rush.

The General’s face is pinched and worried. “Then for all our sakes,” she says, turning to Ohila, “I hope you’re right.”

“As do I,” Ohila agrees.

The General motions to one of the techs at the console station, and the door at the end of the chamber hisses open. The space beyond it wavers; a cobbled street out of focus, outlined in quivering slashes of red and green, like a bad 3-D film.

“Good luck, ma’am,” the General whispers.

Ohila’s hand gently presses against the back of Clara’s arm, urging her on. “Good luck, my dear,” she echoes.

For a wonder, Clara thinks they actually mean it.

The moment the soles of her shoes hit the cobblestones, the ringing is back in her ears, almost deafening, an absence she’d learned to tune out long ago suddenly roaring back to life. Her life. It’s so close it makes her muscles tremble.

The raven that is not a raven hangs in the air, quantum wings spread wide and inky black, trailing frozen whorls of ash and feathers. But beyond it. Oh God beyond it…

The Doctor stands in the doorway of the infirmary, his burgundy velvet coat gleaming in the light of the streetlamps, face a slack-jawed mask of horror. Frozen or not, his terrified eyes are trained on her, and her step falters. A trick, she knows, he’s staring at the place she was, and will be again shortly. The urge to run to him is overwhelming, to throw her arms around him and promise she’s here, she’ll stay with him this time, but she can’t. She knows she can’t. Eons stand between this then and her now, to disrupt that could bring it all crashing down. At last, maybe she knows better. Maybe she’s learned better. Or so she hopes.

“I’ll see you soon,” she whispers to the Doctor. “I promise, I will see you soon.”

She finds her mark, raises her arms in welcome; before her the shade, behind her the Doctor. The door hisses shut, bleeds out, disappears.

Time, at last, starts again. The haze of color reforms, resolving itself back into reality. Her heart beats, but only once. A single frantic drumbeat that hits like a hammerblow after centuries of silence.

The second hammerblow hits her square in the chest as the raven-shade finds its mark. There is a flash, a brilliant golden light, there and gone like the flashbulb of a camera…

She takes a breath...

And then pain. Great rolling waves of agony tear through her body, and she can’t leash the scream in time.

Everything dims. A trickle of soot from her lungs. And Trap Street flickers out, a reel finally run out of film.

***

The next comes in flashes, dim and stuttery like footage from a broken camera. Me’s face at her bedside, in the infirmary room the Doctor carried her body into.

Time to go, the immortal says, smiling tautly. The space beyond the cot has transformed from an infirmary into a diner. Behind Me’s head is a door painted with the gyrating image of Elvis Presley.

Pain. More pain, still more pain. Her body is burning, rearranging, rebooting. Every cell struggling to roar back to life. She draws a breath that feels like glass shards.

She’s on her feet, only just. Me drags her into the console room, sets coordinates.

Just a little longer, Clara, she says. You can make it, hold on.

The Tardis lurches, whirls, lands. Clara stumbles out the door, out of the diner. It’s dark out, and it’s snowing. Her body feels like it’s on fire, the cold cannot calm the burning. Critical Mass, she thinks, laughing in ragged gasps. And then, Please I need my face please let me keep this one.

The rest is lost not in darkness, but blinding light.

***

The light still fills her eyes when she opens them. She blinks, disoriented, waiting for the flare to fade. She’s warm, lying on her side….where? When?

“In your bed, on your TARDIS,” the Doctor says aloud. “You’re here with me, Clara, do you remember?” His voice is gentle, coaxing her up out of light.

“Yeah,” she mutters, drawing him closer. “I remember now.”

“Good,” he says, tucking her head under his chin. His arms clasp her tight.

“Do you believe it?” she says.

His chin bumps against her skull as he nods. “I do.”

“And Ohila? What about her?”

“You believed her,” he says simply.

“I did.”

He places a kiss on her temple. “Good enough for me. For all else: time will tell. Always does.”

She’s almost drowsing when he speaks again, his chest rumbling against her ear. “What do we do now?”

“Mmm. Go to the Lake District. Eat scones. Invent sonic pasta or something. Shag until we forget how to breathe. Maybe have a shower?”

“Oh, shower, definitely,” he says with a chuckle.

She moves, his arms slip away reluctantly. He’s looking at her like she’s a miracle.  Maybe she is; maybe they both are.

“I never get second chances,” he mutters. “I don’t know what to do with a third.”

She bends, kisses him, stroking gentle fingers down his cheek. “We don’t waste it. And we don’t muck it up this time.”

“Yes boss.”

She tugs at his hand, pulling him. He drifts up like he’s magnetized to her. “Come on. Shower. I think I know where we should go first.”

#whouffaldi #twelve x clara #doctor who fanfiction #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #the closer I get to the end of this the more I worry it hasn't been worth the gigantic hiatus