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wheres-sam · 3 years

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I binge-watched the spn anime because of the brain rot

It’s bad except for the parts that are good, and it’s pretty to look at. Here’s a comprehensive list of pros and cons. Spoilers ahead!

Pros:

- more psychic kid backstories: Max (Nightmare), Lily (Darkness Calling), Jake (Loser)

- more psychic Sam

- more Azazel

- basically if you want more about the psychic/demon kids, watch the anime

- more young Winchesters

- the monsters, the superhuman abilities, the fight scenes, it all looks really cool animated. (But PSA it’s violent. It doesn’t shy away from blood and gore.)

- Sam and Jessica backstory

- more of the brothers being cute and funny together

- Missouri isn’t forgotten

- includes some Japanese legends/mythology

- the impala looks great in every scene. They did Baby good

- the “Supernatural” intro title

- the outro sketches of the boys hanging out with Baby

- Episodes adapted from the original show are different, but I like some of the changes? It’d be boring if it was an exact retelling and the visual medium wasn’t utilized. (I know I said spoilers before, but this is when they get detailed. If you wanna skip over, I’ll tell you where they STOP.)

Nightmare goes more into the abuse Max has suffered. Instead of locking Sam in a closet, Max sends Sam through the floor and covers the hole by breaking his bed in half, and it’s extremely sexy how Sam shoves the 2 halves apart with his mind. Later on Dean puts bandaids on Sam and they talk about demons loudly in front of a fast food intercom.

In My Time of Dying highlights the guilt Sam feels over Dean. In both the og and the anime John verbally blames Sam for not shooting Azazel, but where in the og Sam goes right on arguing, in the anime he reels back for a moment like he was slapped. Dean’s spirit touches Sam’s shoulder, and Sam knows immediately that it’s Dean. He doesn’t even question it. Instead of “Are you here?” it’s “I know you’re with me. I can feel it.” And I love that. Dean figures out right away he’s dealing with a reaper, and the reaper takes on the appearance of Mary to convince Dean to move on to the afterlife. Instead of a Ouija board, Sam uses a laptop to talk to Dean, and the first word Dean types is “Sammy!” Dean is so fond of his little brother and Sam is so baby.

Rising Son is an anime only episode, but it draws inspiration from John’s journal. Dean has a proper breakdown over his dad’s death and the possibility of having to kill Sam. Ms. Lyle, Sam’s favorite teacher who turns out to be possessed, is explored. John takes Dean hunting, and in the journal Dean hesitates to shoot a buck, and little Sam shoots it thinking it was endangering Dean. In the anime, Dean’s cornered by a moose and Sam makes it explode with his mind and it’s so !!! How little Sam’s first words are, “I’m glad you’re okay. It didn’t hurt you?” The boys are covered in blood and guts and Dean’s like 👁👄👁 “Why are you here? Did you do this?” And then Sam starts freaking out a little, the shock sets in. “I don’t know. I don’t know, honest.” And he’s staring at his hands, and I am a big fan of Sam showing superhuman signs as a kid. Like in the journal, Ms. Lyle tries to take Sam. She gives Sam the illusion of a choice to come with her or stay with Dean, and Sam chooses Dean. This ep is pretty much when John figures out Sam has demon blood. He kills another hunter that wants to kill Sam.

Crossroad is based on Crossroad Blues, and I love how the crossroads demon shows up. It’s hard to describe, but it’s so neat, like she’s walking underneath Dean in this mirror world, and then the mirror world takes over the regular world, so you really get this sense of otherworldly seclusion, existing outside of time.

What Is and Should Never Be shows Dean is a firefighter in his ‘Mary never died’ world, and Sam got to play soccer growing up like he wanted. The brothers hold each other after Dean is saved from the Djinn.

AHBL part 1. When Azazel shows Sam that he fed Sam his blood, Sam gags and slaps a hand over his mouth, and I like that reaction more than the live action. The psychic kids get to go more anime with their powers, and that’s a lot of fun. They don’t need weapons. Ava slams Sam into the brick side of a building and cuts him without touching him. Jake snaps Ava’s neck with one hand and then catches Sam in his arms. When Jake attacks Sam, there’s no gun or knife. He’s relying on his super strength, his fists. Sam throws his arms up to protect himself, and (accidentally?) pushes Jake back with his mind, and the collision creates a crater in the ground. Jake puts his fist through Sam’s chest to kill him. It’s brutal and it’s rad as fuck. These kids are terrifyingly powerful.

The Sam and Dean reunion before Sam is killed is not as emotional as the live action imo, but what the anime does intrigues me. Hurts in a different way. Because Sam is stunned after he uses telekinesis again, on Jake, and when he hears Dean behind him Sam freezes. He doesn’t look relieved to see Dean, but wary and weary. It’s Dean taking steps towards him, not the other way around, and it has to be because Sam doesn’t know if Dean saw him push Jake back. Sam doesn’t know how Dean’s going to respond to all this, to him, having powers that come from a demon, the demon, Azazel. Sam hasn’t had a chance to process anything. He’s scared. He’s tired. And the way the anime focuses on Sam’s eyes here. Gah. “Dean. Dean, I’m...” I’m sorry. I��m all right. I’m glad you’re okay. I’m a monster. There’s also this one shot between Sam and Azazel that sends me because of how anime it is.

AHBL part 2. I love how Sam brought back to life is animated, with all the color returning to his face and a light wind rustling his hair and his lips parting to indicate his soul returning to his body. Jake attacks Dean, and, a lot like how Sam activates telekinesis to save Dean from Max in Nightmare, Sam gets a burst of superhuman strength. He rips Jake’s arm off and tackles him to the ground and beats him to death, punches holes into his body, and it’s so savage and bloody and scary, and I love it. The Devil’s Gate opening looks so cool animated. Same goes for Dean shooting Azazel with the Colt.

Not to turn this into a meta post, but I also noticed how the last couple times Sam uses his powers they’re colored green-yellow, the same colors as Mary’s ghost when she reveals herself in the anime’s Home, and I don’t know if that’s intentional, but it’s neat how it draws a connection to Sam’s biological family instead of Azazel’s blood.

The Spirit of Vegas is like Bad Day at Black Rock, but Dean has all the bad luck instead, and it shows off the silly cartoony physics that make animation fun. The boys sleep outside and split a chunk of bread for dinner. Also this lil bit of Dean’s hair tied in a bow.

- (STOP) the brothers are pretty. I am not immune to animated Sam and Dean Winchester.

Cons:

- Jensen doesn’t voice Dean until the last 2 episodes

- The English dialogue is really bad sometimes. I wish I could’ve watched the sub, but I couldn’t figure out how to change the language

- Some character designs are really different from the live action, and maybe that’s petty, but if you’re gonna change the characters diversify them? Don’t just make them unrecognizable white people

- Missouri’s design as a stereotypical witch doctor is racist

- Gordon is replaced by some British guy named Jason?? Why

- There’s an LGBT character who is not accepted by her family and, while that bigotry is always shown to be negative and she dies the hero of the episode, she still dies ://

- In the English dub Lily’s gf is made into her roommate instead. Idk about the sub

- Bobby’s pretty much a totally different character

- Sam and Dean are OOC sometimes

- Dean’s hair usually looks darker than Sam’s and it drives me crazy

- The storytelling is, overall, not nearly as good as the live action

- The non-Japanese lore in some episodes makes no sense. Sometimes it’s just plain ridiculous?? Like there’s a giant robot made of cars and scrap metal controlled by a demon? ? I wish I was making this up

- Meg’s role is severely reduced

- No Harvelles or Roadhouse

- Shadows are overused, but maybe that’s because the og show is so dark?

- I don’t mind the art style. I like the aesthetic, but I wish it was a little more expressive. It doesn’t do Sam’s puppy eyes justice.

- AZAZEL’S SHADOW?? PROPORTIONS?? PEA SIZED HEAD

- Idk why they mashed season 1 and 2 together? The story feels rushed

- there’s not as much chemistry between Sam and Dean, but that’s a given without J2 on screen

- Nobody tells you!! That there’s scenes after the credits!! And some of them are important! Why are important scenes after the credits??

The anime would not be good on its own, without the heart and depth the live action brings, but it works as supplementary material you can cherry pick from. I would watch more if there were more episodes.

It hasn’t turned me off from wanting an spn anime. I’d like to see it continued or redone, with updated animation and better scripts. There’s a lot of potential in exploring more about the psychic kids and Sam’s powers, storylines that were cut short in the og show. Animation is a great medium for showing off the supernatural, getting creative and creepier with the designs, dramatic with the fight scenes, without having to worry about bad CGI. I don’t want a live action reboot, but I think a redone animated series could be a lot of fun! (As long as it’s not an excuse to make any romantic ships take over. SPN is a platonic love story, and I like it that way.)

If you made it to the end here and are interested in watching the spn anime, you can watch it for free on the CW Seed app! You can probably stream it elsewhere, but idk where!

#spn anime #supernatural #supernatural the anime #my detailed pros is pretty much me letting you know what episodes are worth watching #and why #its bad but I kind of like it #I like what they were going for. the potential it has #I like sam and there's lots of sam

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commander-rahrah · 3 years

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RESIDENCY: SECOND CHANCES (AN OPEN HEART FIC): PART FOUR

Pairing: MC (Jordynne Holland) X Ethan Ramsey X Bryce Lahela; MC X Bryce; MC X Ethan. Please note that both pairings are present in this fan fiction — off & on, at the same times, and the relationships do ebb & flow. Please keep this in mind. Thank you.

Masterlist: Click Here

Chapter Rating: T

Word Count: 3940+

Description: Everybody’s first day back at Edenbrook. Is this second year everything they will need it to be?

Disclaimer: Characters, storyline, and parts of the dialogue are taken from Pixelberry’s Choices. They fully own the characters, dialogue, backgrounds, etc. MC Jordynne’s background is my own creation, based loosely off of MC in-game’s personality and provided with more details.

Author’s Note: Ha. Soooo, its been a while. A long while. Many factors went into delaying updating this fic. First of all -- the pandemic. I am an essential worker. I am tired, and stressed. Yes, still. I am tired. I wake up, drive, work, drive, home, eat, sleep. That’s it. My freetime, creativity. mental health, etc. has been at an all time low. Second of all -- life. Soooo much has happened for my little family. My partner and I bought our first home and rescued our absolutely gorgeous puppy from a rescue shelter. It can be a bit hard to find time to write between putting your entire life into boxes, not having any furniture for 3 months and chasing after a puppy. Third -- I honestly felt like I lost my touch with my characters after reading Open Heart 2. The hiatus was understandable but long. There were chapters that were amazing, and heartbreaking and made me feel like I was soooo excited to write them. And then... by the end of Book 2... I felt lost? My favorite characters voices seem muffled. And I wasn’t sure how I was going to keep going. Do I ignore scenes/rewrite them? Would that compromise the premise of my fic? Being a fic that is in addition to the original PB story? I’m still a little lost if I am completely honest. Fourth -- general posting anxiety. Which I try so hard to avoid, and not think of. But comparison games, lack of notes and activity can get to you when you open yourself creatively online.

But messages of encouragement and inquiries into the next update helped! And I thank everyone who checked in on the fic and on me to see what was going on ♡♡♡ Honestly, I felt like I had no time to write, and even if I did I wasn’t motivated or inspired enough to do it. Tonight, I felt good. The news of OH3 was a bit of a kick starter for me I won’t lie. But I want to get back into these character’s heads -- I want to figure out the god damn mess that Jordynne has made for herself with Ethan and Bryce!!

As always any likes, reblogs and comments are very appreciated. If you would like to be added/removed from the tag list please just let me know! It has been a long time since the fic updated so please let me know if you no longer want to be tagged or want to be tagged.

Taglist: @drakewalkerfantasy @owleyes-374 @lahelable @mayah-mahdy @paisleylovergirl @nicquix @emilymay100 @octobereighth @llamasgrl @timmagicktoad @lilyofchoices @msjpuddleduck @mfackenthal @paulfwesley @ccolz88-blog @mindlessdreaminxo @jooous @lapisreviewsstuff @choicesarehard @themingdynasty @omgjasminesimone @hopelessly-shipper @binny1985 @perriewinklenerdie @jens-diamondchoices @indiacater @chasingrobbie @writingsbymissy @dimitriwife @tacohead13 @amy-choices @mrsmatsuo @checkurwindow @imrookieramsey @bitchloveskcbaseball @mrs-ramsey

Previous Updates: Residency — Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten Part Eleven Part Twelve Part Thirteen Part Fourteen Part Fifteen Part Sixteen Part Seventeen Part Eighteen Part Nineteen

Residency: Second Chances – Part One Part Two Part Three

Bryce stood near the entrance to Edenbrook — shuffling from one foot to another. Both hands were wrapped around paper coffee cups — one of which he took a careful sip of.

So he had stopped to get her a latte from her favorite café. He knew she would probably be in a huge rush to get to work early and wouldn’t stop to get one. He wanted her day to start off right. At least he hadn’t shown up to the apartment.

Well, the thought had crossed his mind but he had quickly pushed it away. This was about being her friend. He just wanted Jordynne to have a good first day.

His dark eyes kept flicking towards the subway stairs, waiting patiently for that familiar blonde head to come bobbing up. Placing one of the cups on top of the other, he balanced them carefully as he dug into his jeans pocket for his phone. Maybe she had texted —

“Oh Bryce — hey!” His ears perked up at the voice, and was met with a warm smile. The smile that occupied his waking dreams. He liked being the reason for that smile.

“Hey Jordy!” God, why did he sound so breathless.

“Happy first day as a resident!” He shoved his phone back into his pocket, before grabbing onto her latte and extending it out, “I thought you should be extra caffeinated for your day, so I got you...” But his voice trailed off as he realized she was already clutching a travel mug to her chest. “Oh you already got one.”

“Uh, yeah,” Her smile turned sheepish, “I had the exact same thought process as you actually.”

“Heh—,” he chuckled, “I guess I know you pretty well.”

Her green eyes flashed with a look he couldn’t quite read, “Guess you do.” “Well, do you want it still...?” He held out the lukewarm latte again, unsure what to do with it.

“Hey, I’m still Jordynne Holland. When have I ever denied extra caffeine?” Bryce’s white teeth bit his lip as they stretched into a smile. He handed her the cup — their fingers grazing slightly.

“Thanks.”

They fell into step behind the other roommates, trailing into the hospital. As they walked together, Bryce suddenly struggled to find what to say. He had never been one to stay quiet — usually he was the outspoken one. But now he just watched her grasp onto her two coffee cups tightly, her eyes low as she walked into Edenbrook.

Once they made there way into the staff locker room, they separated to their own lockers. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she carefully sat her two drinks down, before grabbing her white coat. She slipped it on effortlessly, before wrapping her stethoscope around her neck. Flipping her blonde ponytail out, she turned to speak with Sienna — her voice to low for him to hear.

Jordynne looked amazing — her lean legs and hips wrapped in a deep green skirt that showed off just enough that it was both sexy and tasteful. Her high necked pale blouse brought out her olive skin. She could be the woman on the front of the pamphlets they hand out to pre-med undergrads. She already was the doctor she was aspiring to be — and he knew she would fit in well with the Diagnostics team. He thought of Ramsey — his pressed trousers, and leather dress shoes. His watch that probably cost more then Bryce’s car. Grinding his molars, he looked down at the wrinkles trousers and Nikes in his hands. Peeling his shirt off he tossed it gently into his locker, letting out a sigh.

But he quickly masked it as Jordynne went to leave the locker room. “Hey,” He caught her attention before she went to leave, “You’re gonna kill it, Holland.”

“Thanks Lahela,” She gave him that smile again. The one that made everything flutter.

“I’ll save you a seat at lunch?”

“Oh—“ Her eyebrows furrowed slightly in the middle, “I’m not sure how my day will look with the team... I’ll play it by ear?” She offered, looking a little guilty.

“Yeah— yeah of course...” His voice sounded a little strained. “We’ll catch you later.”

She nodded at him, pushing her hands into her pockets, “Okay, yeah. See you guys in the atrium,” She called out over her shoulder, her blonde ponytail swinging as she walked away.

Bryce’s brown eyes flickered over to the rest of her roommates, who were all watching with slightly worried looks. It was starting to settle in. Maybe this second year, this second chance — was the beginning of everything changing. ________________________________________________________________ He had originally come up here to get accustomed to his new surroundings. Get a lay of the land. The board had spared no expense with the new wing expansion — and the Diagnostic team’s new office was no joke.

Ethan was standing across the hall from the room — staring into the room through the glass walls. Everything inside was sleek, shiny and new. His hands were bunched up fists in the pockets of his trousers, and the tie around his neck felt a little tight. Had he forgotten what all of this was like while he was away?

Thirty minutes he had stood there.

Thirty.

Standing there and imagining where he would sit at the table — discussing with the team, leading them to the right diagnosis. Researching at the desk, pouring over the hundred books that was supplied for them in there.

But the picture in his head was fuzzy. Even in his imagination Ethan felt like something didn’t feel right. What was it?

The team? No. Mirani and Hirata always did excellent work. He could rely on them.

Was it that Naveen was missing? So many of his biggest successes with the team was with Naveen. And he definitely felt his absence this past year. He had also never really adjusted to the idea of being the team lead for the department. It was thrust upon him, not once but twice. And both times he had been unprepared. Being a leader wasn’t exactly what he had always hoped for in his career.

Ethan’s thick brows were furrowed as he thought, the gears in his mind whirling. Why had he been staring at the office for thirty minutes? What was stopping him from going inside and just doing his damn work? That’s what he came back for — so what was his trepidation?

The light flickering on in the diagnostic teams office brought him back to reality. The room was illuminated, the white light shining through the glass walls and spilling into the hall.

There she was.

Jordynne stood at the entrance of the office, her back facing him as she took it all in. She hadn’t notice him from across the large hallway. Ethan stepped back into the shadows — hoping she wouldn’t see him capturing the moment. A silent laugh escaped him as he watched her set not one, but two coffee cups down onto the table. His lips remained upturned as he watched her wander deeper into the room, running her fingers over the smooth surface of the whiteboard. She had a soft smile on her face as she looked around her.

“Good morning Dr. Ramsey!”

Ethan almost hissed at the sound of the cheerful voice next time. Looking over he saw Dr. Baz Mirani standing next to him with a wide smile spread across his face.

“Morning,” He grumbled, looking back to his view of the diagnostics office where Jordynne had started to settle in.

“That’s Dr. Holland right?” Baz followed his line of sight, and watching her for a moment. “Are you going to head in?” The young doctor questioned, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.

He cleared his throat, before shaking his head, “You go ahead.”

The young man didn’t think anything of it, and marched over into the office. Ethan could hear their muffled voices through the glass as they introduced each other.

He noticed the next person that came up to him — Dr. Hirata. She gave him a nod, before pausing for a moment and staring at him in the dark side of the corridor. He could tell she was calculating, attempting to deduce what was keeping him out of their new office. But her face remained neutral and she turned on her heel and headed into the room.

Maybe there were too many variables for her to figure it out too.

His blue eyes watched as the three colleagues got familiar with each other, shaking hands and pleasantries. Maybe this would be a perfect time to go in. He had missed the awkward introductions — the worst part was over. He just had to go into the room.

Running his hands over his white coat, Ethan crossed the hall and stepped into the brand new office.

“Introductions done?” He asked, his thick brows raised. He glanced over them quickly, not long enough to make any eye contact. “Great. We’ve got work to do.” The glass door behind him gently hissed as it closed — leaving them all in the office together.

Ok. First step done.

“We have an incoming patient from Manhattan Presbyterian.” The trio slid apart to make room for him as he marched to the board, pining up an abdominal CT scan.

Jordynne, June and Baz grabbed a spot at the circular wooden table in the middle of the room.

“Can you describe the patient?”

“Male, aged 45. Asian American.” He watched as Jordynne took out her trusty little black notebook, and started jotting down notes.

“Symptoms?”

“He presented with a fever, vomiting and diarrhea, and was treated for the flu. He returned several days later with enlarged lymph nodes, abdominal pain, and a rash on his shoulder.” Grabbing onto a black marker, he started to write the known symptoms down on the white board. With his back turned to the group for a moment, he let the corners of his lips turn up for a split second. This felt good. “What did his former doctors think it was?”

“Hodgkin lymphoma.” He made sure he kept his face neutral -- to not give any answers away.

June scoffed, “Amateurs. And his blood?”

He almost laughed.

As the conversation started to amp up, Ethan slipped back into his role on the diagnostics team easier then he had imagined. Bouncing off of each other during the differential — he had missed this.

Then he realized Jordynne hadn’t said anything. She was sitting in her chair, looking slightly awestruck. But she was still writing notes diligently and observing them going back and forth.

“Six months ago, however, he was admitted for flu-like symptoms and a rash on his arm.” Ethan continued, drawing his eyes away from her and focusing back on the conversation.

“That could be the key. Did they biopsy it?” Baz asked, eyebrows raised and face hopeful.

He pursed his lips, “They didn’t.”

“Any history of dermatitis?”

“Was he on any medication prior to being admitted?”

June and Baz asked one after the other, going through their mental lists. “No and no.”

“It could be cutaneous Kikuchi disease.” Hirata suggested. But she didn't do suggestions -- she diagnosed.

Interesting.

June had gotten there first. But she was always like that. It was a race for her.

“The symptoms do add up.” Dr. Mirani nodded, giving his colleague a look of approval.

“I agree.”

There was a knock on the door, and they looked up to see Danny on the other side of the glass. Ethan waved him in where he announced the patient's arrival at Edenbrook.

“Excellent. Dr. Holland,” He spoke directly to her for the first time that morning —holding his breath as he waited for her reaction. But her face remained neutral, looking up at him through her lashes as she waited for him to finish, “Run a biopsy on the patient’s rash. If we’re correct, we’ll begin the patient on a treatment of nonsteroidal anti-inflammatories and prednisone.”

He noticed her swallow for a moment, listening to her instructions. “And if we’re wrong?”

“We’ll re-evaluate.”

“But we won’t need to,” June said confidently, leaning across the table at Jordynne with a wink.

“Team dismissed. I’ll page you if I need you again today.” He turned around, going back to the white board to add their final notes and treatment plan.

Out of his peripheral vision he saw Baz put a gentle hand on Jordynne’s shoulder. He lowered his head to speak in her softly, “I made the same face my first few days on the team. You’ll get used to it.”

Ethan crossed over to his desk to find the patient's file. Rummaging in his pockets, he found his glasses and slid them on. Without looking up from his file, he spoke to Jordynne who had remained in the room, “After you’re done with our patient, you can see Ines and Zaid for further assignments. You’ll be balancing your work here with your usual resident duties. Now that you’re in your second year, that will include rotations at the free clinic.”

“Yes, Dr. Ramsey.” Her voice was so professional, so trained. He had never heard her sound like that. It was like she had practiced.

He heard the sound of her crossing the room, and stepping towards the door. But then she hesitated. “Will we always diagnose a patient without seeing them?” She asked.

“No, but we’re often asked for help by other hospitals all over the country, so it’s a good habit to keep our blind diagnosis skills sharp.” He finally looked up from his file, using his finger as a bookmark in it. But when he looked over to, his stomach flipped slightly as he found that her green eyes already staring at him.

He could see her hesitation, and maybe some nerves. She had just been thrown into the deep end -- and it seemed she was struggling to stay afloat.

“Is everything alright, Jordynne?”

He couldn’t help himself. Plus, it was his responsibility to ensure her success on the team now. It was apart of his job to check in on her.

“Actually...,” She made sure the glass door closed, before stepping further into the room, “Could we talk?” Her fingers were knotted together in front of her -- she looked nervous, and vulnerable.

Ethan studied her for a moment, chewing the inside of his cheek, “About the job? Or about us?”

Her eyebrows furrowed for a moment, like she was in pain. But it was for just for the smallest moment -- he had barely even caught it. “The job.”

Placing the file down, he pulled a chair from the center table out for her where they sat down together. He adjusted his glasses on the crook of his nose, before settling into his chair. “I’m all yours,” He said, folding his hands carefully on top of each other on the table as he waited for her to speak up.

“Dr. Ramsey...," A flicker of doubt crossed her face, before she opened her mouth, "How are you sure you made the right diagnosis?"

Grabbing the file in front of him, he pulled out the patient's previous charts and placed them in front of them. “In medicine, the most logical answer is usually the correct one. In this case, the most obvious answer was Hodgkin lymphoma.”

“But the other hospital had already eliminated Hodgkin lymphoma.” She finished for him.

“Correct. Which allowed us to take it off the board and considered the next most logical answer.” He pointed back over his shoulder to the symptoms he had written on the board in his chicken scratch, “The patient had a persistent rash. Paired with the symptoms present, the most logical answer is Kikuchi disease." He met her eye easily across the table, before matching her vulnerability, "But as to how I’m so sure, I’m not. Which is why you’ll be running a biopsy. We need to trust in our diagnostic instincts, but the second we let arrogance overrule the results, we fail as doctors.”

“So I should use logic... and be humble?” Her eyebrows were tugging in the middle as she processed his advice.

“And read journals. I want you to turn yourself into a walking disease encyclopedia. You can’t diagnose the patient if you don’t study up. If the patients we saw had more common diseases... they’d never have been referred to us in the first place.”

“Got it.” She nodded -- eyeing the bookshelves behind them that were filled with textbooks.

“So what did you think of the team?" He asked curiously, "It was the three of us under Naveen last year, until he put himself out to pasture.”

A soft chuckle escaped her, “You mean became Chief of Medicine?”

He smiled at the sound, “Precisely.”

“Well, we just met but I think I liked Baz.” Jordynne offered, pursing her lips.

“He’s hard to dislike. Walking proof that genetics aren’t everything.”

“When did he join the team?”

“A couple years ago, when Zaid began his residency. He sought a position here to be closer to his brother.”

Her eyebrows raised in surprise, “Can’t believe Zaid would be okay with that.”

“Supposedly, the old chief cleared it with Zaid before he approved the transfer. But I heard a rumor that it was Baz, dressed up pretending to be Zaid.”

Her mouth fell open, “He wouldn’t!”

He shrugged, a cheeky smile spreading across his face. “I don’t pay any mind to rumors.”

She smirked back at him -- and he could feel the nervousness and ice melting between them. They could do this.

Two colleagues conversing normally. This was fine.

“So if I want to get on Baz’s good side, how do I go about that?” She leaned in a bit more towards him, putting her elbow on the table and resting her chin on her fist.

Ethan thought for a moment before replying, “Baz is earnest to a fault. He respects authenticity more than anything so... as much as I despise saying anything so incredibly banal, my advice would be... “be yourself”,” He grimaced as the words left his mouth.

“Oof—“ She chuckled, “That must have hurt to say aloud.” She knew him well. “That’s why you’ll never hear it again.”

She let out another laugh, but this one sounded more sad. Then a sigh escaped her, and she started picking at her lip, “I thought I was so ready for this year. How do I feel like a clueless intern all over again?”

“Because you are clueless, relatively speaking.”

She frowned, “Gee, thanks.”

His stomach dropped -- that's not what he meant. “It wasn't an insult," He scrambled to get out, "You get to spend the second year of your residency in a small room with over three decades of collective medical knowledge and experience. Learn from it. Be inspired to become a better doctor from it.” He looked up, and found her already looking at him again. His thick brows furrowed, “What is it?”

“Oh uh... your glasses...," Her words trailed off as she looked at him, "They make you look smart.” She sounded a little breathless.

He did his best to ignore how that made him feel, the blush that might have been creeping up on his cheeks. So he hid between cheek and tongue. “You’ve caught me. The illusion behind my status. Without these I’m a simpering moron.”

The pair was quiet for a beat, before bursting out laughing. As they laughed, she casually tapped his hand with hers. “Thank you,” She spoke again, but this time her voice was quiet.

Her fingers had lingered on his hand, so she gave it a squeeze. They were cold on his warm skin.

Ethan's jaw set as he felt those familiar sparks. Jordynne...” His voice was a warning. It was only the first hour of their first day.

“I know.” She said carefully, but she looked down at the table.

“We’ll be okay. We’ll make it work.”

He wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince.

“Yeah,” She breathed out.

He moved his thumb gently across her fingers, daring to give her just that smallest bit of comfort. But the sound of the glass door whooshing open caused him to rip his hand away.

“Whoops! Forgot my pager! That could have been very bad!” Baz strolled back into the office -- oblivious to what he had just walked in on.

Both Ethan and Jordynne bolted out of their chairs, stepping away from each other.

“Hmm. Yes. It’s right over there on the table.” Ethan pointed before shoving his guilty hands into his lab coat.

“I’ll get those tests run.” Jordynne had moved to the door, her arms crossed over her chest and face flushing red with embarrassment.

“Excellent. Thank you.” He said with a nod, watching as she turned on her heel and marched down the hallway.

Why was nothing ever easy with Jordynne Holland?

Would this year be any different?

_______________________________________________________________

"Cholecystitis." Jordynne said as she finished adding it to the whiteboard in the diagnostics room. Her perfect block letters standing out drastically against Dr. Ramsey's messy scratch. "Inflamed gull bladder which explains the abdominal pain after eating. Which is entirely separate from Kikuchi disease."

She turned around, capping the pen with a confident smile. Esme was standing near the door, watching the scene unfurl with crossed arms.

"I have to say, I'm not sure I would have spotted that." June spoke first -- looking mildly impressed.

"Nice catch, Jordynne." Baz gave her a big smile.

"Indeed. Especially since we had been diagnosing based on reports, not our own face-to-face interviews. Dr. Holland's specialty has always been listening to her patients. Well done." He gave her a nod, a smile threatening to show on his face.

"It wasn't just me. Dr. Ortega assisted." She nodded to her intern at the door. She knew that drove Ethan crazy -- passing along credit to her colleagues. But Esme deserved it.

"Hey," Esme nodded her head at the trio from the corner of the room, attempting a smile.

"So this is your intern?" Ramsey stepped forward, eyebrows raised. "Well, Dr. Ortega...," He sized her up for a moment, before moving his steely eyes over to Jordynne. "Dr. Holland's one of our best. Consider yourself lucky."

Jordynne felt warmth spread in her chest -- feeling proud of herself. High praise from Dr. Ramsey -- everything between them aside.

"I do, Dr. Ramsey."

"Keep me updated on his treatment." Ethan asked politely, before filing out of the room with the rest of the diagnostics team.

"So I guess you're pretty good at this." Her intern looked at her with a little smirk. "You saw for yourself, I learned from the best. Edenbrook has some of the best doctors in America, and you'll learn from them all. And not just the attendings, but your fellow interns too. I wouldn't have made it through without my friends."

"You telling me to what... be more social?" Esme looked up at her -- her face filled with doubt.

She shrugged, the corners of her lips tugging up, "It can't hurt."

"It definitely can."

"Donahue's from the other night? That's where everyone goes. But first, let's get you back to your patients." Jordynne started to shuffle out of the office, but Esme's voice stopped her.

"Right... Hey, Dr. Holland? Thanks for not bailing on me. Gotta say, that's a new one." She sounded genuine.

"Sure thing, Ortega. I got your back."

This year could be different.

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craziigamerchick · 4 years

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My Prediction: Grace is Alive

Unpopular opinion here I know. I know SK said she was dead and she may very well be but till I see REAL ghost Grace, her funeral, or a flashback to her dead body then nope I won’t believe it.

I didn’t actually believe she was alive till after the 5th season. But down below I’ll list the signs I’ve seen throughout the show that I think point to her not really being dead.

Grace is all over season 5 but the signs I’ve seen that point to her not being dead are in episode 4 and 5.

For starters the swans represent Grace this season as told in an article from Den of Geek. Which is a big theme for episode 4.

So episode 4 is called The Loop and there are quite of bit of things that are repeating in this episode from previous seasons. Actually I’d say this whole season feels like a loop. But anyways for the Grace clues...

We have only 2 scenes this season in the Garrison snug which are both in this episode back to back. This is also where the swans are present. So we are to be thinking of Grace during these scenes.

The first scene is with Mrs.Conners, she is there because her 3 songbirds (goldfinch’s) were killed by her husband. Now I believe the songbird represents Grace along with the swan. As she’s already been linked to the blackbird in s3 and s4 which is also a songbird. Plus one definition of songbird is: a female singer, which she is. When Mrs.Conner says “their singing was the only pretty thing in my life” it focuses on Tommy and the swans to the side of him. I’m sure he thinks the same of Grace and her singing.

Now I also think songbirds represent the Shelby’s in general or at least Goldfinch’s do. Mosley talks of Tommy being a songbird and his singing beautifully in the house and in that same scene he calls Ada a finch. Then when Tommy tells Mrs.Conner Arthur will go get her 3 new Goldfinch’s she says she’ll name them Tommy, Arthur, and Finn. So that’s all 4 siblings being linked to a finch.

Mrs.Conner leaves and here comes Brilliant Chang. Now don’t forget this happens in the room with the swans that represent Grace.

Shows Chang sitting down right where the swan is unlike Mrs.Conners. We really didn’t see the swan behind her because it wasn’t important. But I believe we saw Chang sit right where the swan was because we are to link him specifically to Grace. Just check out this dialogue:

Chang: My name is Brilliant Chang

Arthur: Brilliant Chang is dead

Chang: Perhaps. Sometimes, I wonder... Is this heaven? Doesn’t smell like heaven. So I would say I have survived.

Now that might not seem like a big deal but the real Brilliant Chang got deported in 1924 and was never thought to be dead (the year here is 1929). So they essentially just made this scenario up for the show and they decide to do it in the room that has Grace motif’s all over it. Yeah...

After Arthur thinks Finn has been shot by Chang’s accomplice he pulls a gun on him. Watch Chang stare down Arthur, it’s exactly like Grace’s with Kimber and IRA man she shot.

After this Chang puts the “purest” opium on the table. Pure truth he calls it. Which the opium also represents Grace, as you know that’s what Tommy drinks to hallucinate her and quite literally later as she takes the opium’s place on the barge in Tommy’s hallucination.

When Chang gives the Opium to Tommy as a gift, Tommy’s line is “I’ll throw it in the canal” which is just like his line to Grace in 1.06 “One day we’ll throw this gun in the canal”.

So now we have 4 things that represent Grace. The songbird, Swans, Chang, and Opium. Those will be important later.

The Next big scene we have is when Tommy hallucinates Grace in his office after Mosley leaves and she’s blaming him for her death. He can’t even look at her in this scene. It goes straight from this scene to him standing on bridge looking down, He see’s the January with Grace half covered in the coals (she’s in the spot the opium would be).

He runs to Ada to tell her about his vision (hallucination) of Grace even though it’s 2 AM. He tells Ada “Grace was there. But she was still alive. The name of the barge was the January”. Now this sticks out to me because he says she was still alive. It made no sense to me while this is the hallucination he says this about. He’s been talking to her and seeing her in other places but doesn’t say anything like that. He knows she’s not real so what gives. Then I read in the article above they originally had a swan that swimming in front of the barge but decided to cut it. So this scene was supposed to be the one you linked the swan imagery to Grace but since they cut it most people won’t know that the swan represents her through this series.

So here we have a swan in front of the barge that has Grace on it in place of the opium which Chang called “pure truth” and Tommy saying she was alive. Also, she’s not on just any barge but the January which is the boat Tommy had his healing journey on in s2. Hmm...He even says at one point to Ada “there is a part me that is unfamiliar to myself and I keep finding myself there and only the January can get me away”...Is that the shows way of saying that Grace being alive would help heal him like the January did in s2?

Now I agree with Ada that the black barge signals guilt for him too especially with Grace inside it. Even though he won’t admit it to anyone, we all know he feels guilty about her death.

Now about the Swan Lake Ballet. Polly tells Michael that Tommy want to impress someone which is Mosley this time but who is the other person he was constantly trying to impress. It’s the shows way of reminding you of her without saying her name.

When we get to the Lizzie’s party the first scene is with Michael and Gina Grey (Tommy and Grace lite lol). Tommy and Grace’s Secret Portrait are featured in most of this scene. They even focus on it at the end of their scene. Maybe the horse was named Grace’s Secret because her secret is she’s alive. The paintings are supposed to have a storyline of their own but we’ve never actually seen it. That portrait is the portrait we’ve seen every season (or a version of it) so it’s important. SK already had the series mapped out by s2 just hadn’t written it yet so it wouldn’t surprise me.

Now another thing that caught my attention, when Gina is telling Michael he’ll be replacing Tommy and he asks where Tommy will be she replies “where he wants to go to most”. We all think of that as death but let’s be honest, it’s with Grace. That’s what tips him over the edge every time to actually try to commit suicide (to be with her). So if she’s dead that’s where but if she’s not then it’s wherever she is.

On to another scene, in the scene between Mosley and Tommy having a brandy before the play we see pictures on the table with the liquor. There’s quite a few on there but Grace’s is the lightest one on the table and the one our eyes are drawn to. It’s a way to remind us of her again and look it’s her undercover picture.

Now we have the Swan Lake ballet. @korinthya has an exceptional analysis on this and what it means for the Peaky universe. So I’d go check it out if you’re interested.

We only see the swan dancing and not much of the story but as she’s dancing, Linda rolls up in her car and when she gets out she’s wearing a dress with songbirds on it!

She gets shot the exact same time as the Swan does. It looks like both Linda and the swan are dead (just Like Grace) but at the last second it makes a point to show the swan open her eyes. No need to do that unless it was important to the narrative because there is no other scene connected to that shot. Also, normally the swan dies by drowning not getting shot, so they changed that specifically to mirror Grace.

Once the next episode starts (ep5) we see that Linda has not died (the songbird lives). She was just shot in the arm, the same side as Grace (which is funny because Aberama and Finn were shot in the almost exact same spots this season and lived too). Now this scene could be a retelling of what sort of happened with Grace, not exact of course. Think about it, this whole season has been a loop of events. Working with the Chinese, the white flag truce, the bartender is a spy, there is a singer in the bar, Tommy shooting a horse, him doing his arm gesture in 5x01 like he did 3x01 with the no f’ fighting scene, ect. There’s so much more if you look.

So lets look at the key things from this scene with Linda and see what could have happened after Grace got shot.. Tommy is pulling Arthur away and telling him to go outside till it’s done (Linda getting the bullet out), which if you remember in 4x01 he told Polly to let the nurses and doctors do their job too. So it’s not out of the realm of impossibility that he let the doctors work on Grace and him not be in the room (she was still moving by the end of 3x02 so I don’t doubt she was alive when an ambulance got there). Tommy also says the bullet is still in there, it’s above the bone which could also be what happened to Grace. Don’t forget it looks like she got shot right on her collarbone not under it. This is part is important and can be a big clue as to how someone could pass her off as dead, Tommy sends Arthur out to get some Opium for Linda but Polly has some of her own and so Tommy gives it to Linda while Arthur is still out of the room. She passes out and then Arthur comes in the room and thinks she’s dead. He doesn’t even realize she’s alive until Tommy tells him that she’s ok and he gave her something to knock her out.

That could easily be what happened to Grace. Tommy might have let the doctors do their work, someone slipped her something (maybe section D, they did say they can get to anyone anywhere and they were there at the party) and when Tommy came back in it looked like she was dead. He might not have been able to handle looking at her like that and left. Remember in his hallucination in his office where she is holding the stone, bleeding and accusing him of her death he can’t look at her once. It might have been the same way in the hospital.

We also have another loop in this scene. Arthur is saying that Polly should have let him take the bullet (the original bullet was meant for Arthur but Polly stepped in and saved him) and it’s a repeat of the original bullet that Grace took was meant for Tommy. So the brothers were supposed to take a bullet but nope the wife ended up getting it. It doesn’t stop there during this scene either. We have another loop. Polly tells Arthur, Aberama wants him as his best man at their wedding just like Tommy wanted him as his best man at his wedding in 3x01.

Seriously just watch this season over and see how many loops there are. There is so many it’s unreal.

In the next scene with Linda and Arthur, she leaves him. which is essentially what Grace did with Tommy (voluntary or not it happened).

Then there is Ben Younger which is also some of a loop. He’s a British intelligence officer like Grace was. He’s having threats made to him by Section D because of Tommy (don’t forget they threatened Tommy’s family). He even brings up Section D’s history with Tommy. Tommy tells Ada “he pushed him to report on the Fascists” which is a loop of him telling the Gypsy lady “he pushed some people to far” (about the Italians). Saying he is guilty of both their death’s. He tells Ada that Section D or the intelligence branch had him killed (the loop here is that is who could have took Grace). Then some other things that connect younger to Grace also, Tommy said his death would go down as “an IRA assassination of a British Military Officer” which is what happened to Grace’s father. Then we see neither Grace’s or Ben’s dead bodies or funerals. Plenty of loops here. I do think Ben is dead though. The loop with Grace for him is the connections to section D and maybe the excuse to as how she died. I bet they didn’t say she was shot by an Italian in revenge. The ladies at the institute know of her death and aren’t afraid of Tommy so I bet they had a good cover.

Back to Chang, in his next scene we have talk of the police, Irish, and Opium. Which can be associated with Grace. He also talks about the Uncles being mad. That is the part that caught my attention. It was just a quick one liner that didn’t make much sense but remember the only family member we seen of Grace is her uncle and he was not happy about the marriage.

Arthur then says “F’ your uncles. And your aunts, your cousins, all of them Right?” which reminds me of Tatiana’s line in s3 “Brothers gave sisters, aunts gave uncles, fathers gave daughter and servants”. The deliveries were identical. So another loop.

Now I Think that’s most of the symbolism in S5.

Before I end this post I want to talk about SK saying Grace is dead. He’s probably not lying but it doesn’t have to mean dead like we think. Look at both Alfie in season 5 and Polly in s4, both say they died (when they had an attempt on their life) but are actually still alive. I mean even Aberama calls Polly a ghost in their kissing scene in s4. So I could see the same thing happening to Grace. She is dead like them but also still alive.

I mean isn’t that Tommy’s thing? He died in the war but he’s still here. Aren’t him and Grace the same but also mirrors? So who she was when she shot could very well be dead and a different Grace (maybe even different name if undercover) emerged and SK could still say she’s dead because hey guess what in context of the show she is, just like Polly, Alfie, Tommy, Danny Whizzbang(was), Chang, and Arthur (his fake out in s4).

If she does come back I don’t see it happening until maybe 11 years have passed. 11 seems to be the special number between Tommy and her. When Tommy has his soldiers minute in s1 the time on the watch is 11. Then before they sleep together in s2 Grace tells Tommy “it’s too late” and he says “Grace it’s 11:00″ and her replay is no “no I mean it’s too late”. So it’s not about time at all. I could see her coming back 11 years later and her telling Tommy it’s too late.

Now while I don’t think she is dead (final) after watching season 5 and going back through the seasons if I ever do see real ghostGrace I will hang up that theory. But the more I pay attention the more I see that something is amiss.

Ok, I’m done now. I may do a post about s3 and s4 and the signs there but this post is long enough as it is.

#peaky blinders #grace burgess #tommy x grace

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toldbymae · 4 years

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𝐆 𝐑 𝐀 𝐕 𝐈 𝐓 𝐘 ~ 𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐀𝐮

C H A P T E R O N E: BEGIN AGAIN

Fandom; Choices stories you play

Pairings; Ethan Ramsey x Mc (Lucky-Rae Longford)

Summary; Emotions are the luxury you can’t afford as a Doctor, consider this something Ethan Ramsey learned early. When the sun sets, all hope seems lost. That is, until a wide-eyed young intern tumbles, quite literally, into his life and the sun has never shined brighter.

Warnings; Swearing, Graphic descriptions of injury, Alcohol consumption, NSFW, Character death, Violence, Mentions of stillbirth, Physical abuse.

Word Count; 1.4k (1,467 including this and the above.)

Author Note; This story is an au and starts at the beginning of open heart book one. The storyline won't entirely be the same, some aspects will change eg; Miss Martinez won't end up dying because of mc...instead it'll be because of someone else. In this story, you’ll hate Landry even more.

𝗚𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗶𝘁𝘆; 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘀 𝗮 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝘁𝗼𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗵, 𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗼𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗵𝘆𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘀.

Enjoy!

LUCKY-RAE

After a six and a half hour flight, Lucky got off the plane and made her way through security, grabbing her suitcase and making her way through the crowd of loud and rowdy people. Most of them wore a smile, running into the arms of friends and family, while others were crying and watching as they bid goodbye.

Life is something precious.

It's strong and yet, it's so fragile and easy to take away.

The automatic doors opened and, almost instantly, she was hit with golden rays of the sun. Boston, she smiled and began venturing down the street.

Lucky couldn't wipe the irreplaceable smile off her face, nor did she want to. This is going to be the start of something new. Something good. Something...unimaginable.

The sudden vibration of her phone drew the redhead from her thoughts as she hastily grabbed it out of her pocket.

Landlord guy; 27 Ilford terrace, be there at 3 pm and I'll give you your keys. NO LATER.

Lucky; Sure thing

She tucked her phone safely back in her front pocket and called for a taxi, told him the destination she was heading to, and sat comfortably in the back seat, after putting her luggage in the boot, with the much-needed assistance of the driver.

25 minutes.

The car set off and Lucky leaned her head against the window, watching everything pass her by.

A smile crept back onto her face.

It's happening, it's finally happening. All these years of dreaming, believing, and working hard have led her to where she is right now, where she will be in the future.

Edenbrook Hospital, one of, if not the most, prestigious in the country. Widely known for its efficient and dedicated health care and team.

It hadn't always been her dream to work there, nevertheless, Lucky was determined now more than ever, not to allow the past to cloud her judgment or decisions.

All the people she'd save...all the people she'd be able to help...and those who she can't save...

Seconds descended into minutes which soon felt like hours and the taxi pulled up outside her new home. She thanked him, paid, and dragged her suitcase behind her as she walked up the steps and patiently waited for her landlord to arrive. She spotted him making his way down the road, wearing a blue shirt and loose-fitting black trousers.

"It's nice to finally meet you in person Mister...."

"Just call me Farley." He said delving his hand into his over-sized pocket and fishing for the keys.

"Thank you, I promise to take good care of the property...Mister Farley."

He laughed, "I know you lot will."

She paused, you lot. But there's only one of her...

"What did you mean?" She asked.

"Oh..." He laughed again, "Go inside and you'll see, Doc."

And she did. She unlocked the door and trekked up the stairs and wished there was a lift.

Lucky's breath was instantly taken away. The view was simply spectacular, the apartment was spacious, too spacious.

"This isn't all for me, is it?"

"Turns out you really are as smart as you look." He retorted, turning his head and pointing out all the other bedrooms which would be accommodating other people. Lucky shifted uncomfortably.

"Don't worry." He reassured, "I'm sure you'll get along with them just fine." Without another word, Farley departed leaving Lucky alone.

Her momentary peace was interrupted at the sound of voices and the door flying open. Five people walked in, luggage trailing after them, and meek smiles.

"He really wasn't lying..." Someone moaned, a slim and tall man with wild curly, hazel nut-brown hair, with baby blue eyes.

"I got one can't wait!" The voice of a short, brunette squeaked, smiling from ear to ear. Lucky couldn't tell whether or not she was being genuine.

"What are the odds of us all Woking at ED?" Another woman rolls her eyes and makes her way into the kitchen and raids the fridge.

"Well...I guess I should introduce myself?" The uncertainty in her voice caused Lucky to internally cringe.

"Lucky." She extends out her hand and the small girl, no taller than her, shakes it.

"I call dibs on the largest room." Says the girl whose name Lucky is yet to know, who is currently stuffing her face with a chocolate bar, "I'm Jackie, that's Sienna, Elijah, and Landry."

"Pleasure to meet you." Lucky replies. Sienna smiles at her, "I think we're gonna get along just great and I love your voice, are you, Welsh?"

"Irish, from Killarney."

"Well, is anyone hungry might as well order something." Elijah says getting his phone and looking up nearby takeaway restaurants.

Hours of talking and unpacking later, the interns sat at the table eating pizza and watching TV, feeling nothing except mixture exhaustion and relaxation.

"There's this bar down the road called Donahue’s, wanna go?” Jackie suggests, earning the attention of her new fellow roommates.

Landry shrugged, “I mean I don’t mind...but we’ve orientation tomorrow so...let’s not drinking too much.”

“Alright, let's go.”

...

ETHAN

The bar was still and quiet as the diagnostician drank the last of his whiskey and motioned for the bartender, his long time friend Reggie, to get him another.

"You sure you want another?" Reggie asks, hesitant.

Ethan almost instantly nods and the sound of voices filling the once empty bar drew him from his thoughts.

One in particular caught his eye.

Her laugh sounded like a melody he could listen to every day.

Her eyes, glassy, pure, and ruby green. So beautiful and mesmerizing.

Her hair, long, curly, and auburn shade of red.

Her freckles, as golden as the sun, spread across her face like stars in a midnight sky.

Ethan forced himself to turn away, unable to get the image of her out of his head.

He wouldn't see her again.

Or her dark red lips, so kissable.

He drank the remainder of his drink and decided to call it a night, much to Reggie's relief.

From the corner of his sky blue eyes, he sees her stumbling and about to fall, glass in hand. He catches her just in time and she smiles and drunkenly laughs, before throwing up a river on his green jacket and white top. Ethan sighs and helps her walk over to the nearest booth and sits her down.

“Shit...” She says, “I’m such a lightweight. Sorry, I uh...you know.” Her eyes dart to the ground and her cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get you some water.” Ethan walks over to the bar and Reggie gives him a bottle of water, he opens the bottle and passes it to her. Lucky smiles gratefully and drinks it.

“You're a lifesaver...sorry again about your-

“It’s fine, really.”

A hesitant silence falls upon them until Lucky speaks, “I’m not usually like this.”

“I’m really, really, really nervous about tomorrow...”

“What’s tomorrow?” He asks.

“My intern orientation at Edenbook Hospital. Have you heard of it?”

“Yeah, I certainly have. I don’t think you have anything to be nervous about. You're going there for a reason, remember that.”

“...You know exactly what to say. I like that.”

He sits down opposite her, properly able to see her golden freckles in the soft and warm glow of the light.

“I haven’t asked.” He began, “What’s your name?”

She laughs, playfully slapping his knee, “My parents named me something, like, super weird...don’t go laughing okay?”

“You have my word.”

“Lucky. Lucky-Rae to be exact.”

...

The following morning felt like a complete nightmare. Ethan was in the shower and for once, not even lukewarm water could calm him down.

He dreamed about her.

What was wrong with him?

Every time he closed his eyes, he imagined her long red hair tickling his skin as her lips pressed tantalizingly against his flesh, traveling lower and lower...

His eyes darted upwards at the clock and the time was five minutes past six. Ethan didn't bother wrapping a towel around himself and turned the shower head off before getting dressed and making his way to work.

The traffic was even more so annoying than usual.

Cars sped past him and all could hear were the screams of the couple arguing in the car in front and a baby crying in the car behind. Ethan resisted the overwhelming urge to gouge his ears out. Half an hour passed and Ethan was walking in the hallways of Edenbrook, watching the nurses organize patient files.

An hour later the interns arrived and the hospital wasn’t silent anymore. A sudden commotion corrupted, he turns his head and a woman has collapsed and isn’t moving. Without another thought, he rushed over and ushered for space.

Ethan looked around and noticed an intern rushing over, long red hair, dark green eyes...golden freckles. As if this day could get any worse.

#choices #choices stories you play #open heart #pixelberry choices #mc #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey #ethan jonah ramsey #Watdafwack

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ranma-rewatch · 4 years

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Episode 5-Love Me to the Bone! The Compound Fracture of Akane's Heart

Hey there, hope you’re doing well, whenever/wherever you’re reading this. We’re on the fifth episode of the Ranma Rewatch, and I just realized that you can pretty clearly delineate the last three episodes into one arc, all about introducing Kuno. This episode and the next few, judging by the title, look like they’ll be focusing on Dr. Tofu and Akane’s crush on him. I...really cannot recall a lot about these episodes, so it’ll be interesting to look at them with a fresh perspective. See you all again in a second, once I’ve finished watching the episode!

Wow, uh...I am finding my memories of this show are definitely blurred in ways I hadn’t expected. Or rather, when I saw it as a younger person, I didn’t notice the same things I’m noticing now.

The episode starts with Ranma brooding over how often Akane gets angry and violent at him, which ties into Akane training in the dojo with her dad. For a second, she remembers Ranma’s rude comments from the day before, and the anger makes her hit her dad so hard he’s left pretty hurt. Kasumi, the eldest of the Tendo siblings, tends to his injury, but pleads with Akane to reign in her violent tendencies, even if the exact specifics of that promise change from the Sub to the Dub.

Later, Kasumi sends Akane out to get meat for dinner, at the same time Ranma is brooding in the same area. They run into each other, and Ranma provokes Akane so much that, even after trying to restrain herself to Kasumi’s promise, she gives up and clobbers Ranma so badly she has to take him to a doctor. Specifically, Doctor Tofu.

This is actually the good doctor’s first time seeing Ranma as his uncursed form, so they’re formally introduced. Tofu reasons out that Akane is responsible for the extensive damages, looking serious...only to happily point out that the injuries make that clear, since the way she fights is so distinctive. To Ranma’s surprise, Akane is in a hurry to leave once Ranma is okay, and before they go Tofu tries to tell Ranma that Akane’s actually a pretty nice person, which Ranma is skeptical of.

Seemingly to prove his point, Tofu hit a pressure point on Ranma’s back just before they left, so that halfway home his legs would go out. Despite the fact they’d just been arguing, Akane immediately offers to carry Ranma home, something he only accepts after being splashed with water, thanks to his pride as a man. It’s there, being carried piggyback style, that he considers whether Tofu may have been right after all, but just isn’t sure.

This whole time, their dads have been trying to think of some way to make them get along, since things are only getting worse between them, but it seems they don’t have any ideas. At breakfast the next day, Kasumi asks Akane if she can take a book she’d been borrowing from Dr. Tofu back to him, only for Akane to refuse. When Ranma questions why she’d do that, about to spill the beans on her crush, Akane hurries to school with Ranma in toe, not even noticing that Ranma gets splashed as they sprint down the street.

Once there, she realizes the curse has activated as she starts chastising Ranma for what he did, namely by opening up Ranma’s shirt...revealing his breasts in front of all the guys who usually fight Akane. Not that they seem to notice. They’re not about to fight Akane anymore, telling her that they’ve decided to honor her engagement to Ranma, since he beat Kuno, their best fighter and biggest pervert.

Not that Kuno himself is going to honor that agreement, even if he’s still covered in bandages from all the hits Ranma got on him, and can barely seem to stand. But when he notices Ranma there in his cursed form, he goes from toting the virtues of Akane to his red-headed love in seconds. Ranma is annoyed, and that only gets worse when Akane pretends to support the two getting together, in the hopes that maybe that would maybe get Kuno to leave her alone. For a few seconds, Kuno is struck with indecision...only to once again reiterate that he’s in love with both of them.

During gym, a few guys in Ranma’s class hassle him over his luck in being engaged to Akane, and needle him over whether they’ve ‘done anything’ yet. Just when he’s about to mention that Akane already loves someone else, she hits a softball right in his face, though it’s unclear whether this was on purpose or not.

This means another trip to Tofu’s clinic, though this time they run into his newly hired assistant: Ranma’s dad in his panda form. Tofu laughs to hear that this panda is apparently Ranma’s dad, but it’s unclear if he actually believes that or not. Ranma is getting more and more curious about why it seems like Akane is trying to avoid the person he knows she likes, when the phone rings. Akane answers and talks to that person, before finally telling Ranma that Dr. Tofu already has someone he’s in love with, and that woman is one the way to the clinic, that’s who Akane had talked to on the phone. After a fake out, it’s made clear from how the scene cuts to her that the woman Akane’s talking about is Kasumi.

There are a few things this episode has really brought to mind for me. To start with what I alluded to earlier: when I have thought about Ranma 1/2, for the longest time, I’ve thought of it as a very episodic storyline. Throughout it’s very, very long run, I mostly remembered it being unrelated little stories, aside from the small arcs that populated the various seasons, cropping up from time to time. I do remember enough specific episodes to come that I do know there are one-off episodes later on.

But as I look at the five episodes I’ve covered so far, I’m kind of staggered by the continuity. Each episode flows seamlessly from the last, even as we’ve kind of moved on from an arc about Kuno to one about Akane and Dr. Tofu. Now, whether this is something the show will outgrow with time, as it drifts farther and farther from the manga, isn’t really something I know for sure, so it’s a thing I’ll have to keep an eye on.

So much of this episode is devoted to Ranma and others thinking about his relationship to Akane. He’s clearly very skeptical about any idea that they might work out as a couple, already seeing the rough ways they tend to hit each other where it hurts when they bicker. Still, there are other moments where he can clearly see her better traits, such as when she immediately moves to help him when his legs fail him.

In that same vein, I was very much befuddled at first when Akane just opened Ranma’s shirt to check he really was in his more feminine body. Like, that just seemed out of character for her, but then I realized a better way to read that. Akane has no problems doing something like that because she considers Ranma a guy, for better or worse, regardless of what he looks like at the time. Unlike so many characters, who tend to treat Ranma differently depending on if he’s in his cursed form or not, Akane always sees him as Ranma. Here, that made things awkward, but on the whole it’s kind of a big plus from her. She validates Ranma for who he really is, in that way.

Oh, back when I was recapping things, I mentioned a couple of guys hanging out with Ranma at school. Well, fun fact, those are Hiroshi and Daisuke, and I think this is their first appearance in the anime. They become Ranma’s default two friends at school, and later on Akane will get her own similar pair of friends to match. If you’re not paying attention, they might seem like extras, but Hiroshi and Daisuke actually have consistent designs and personalities, which I find pretty neat.

This week, for the character spotlight, I thought I should round out the Tendo siblings with the oldest, Kasumi. After all, she’s getting more attention in the plot right now, and there really aren’t a lot of characters worth focusing on introduced yet.

Now, as best as I can tell, her voice actresses in the original Japanese and the English dub are doing the same kind of thing. Namely, a very sweet, if restrained, kind of performance. In English, she was played by Willow Johnson, another fairly minor Canadian voice actress who doesn’t seem to have done a lot of work recently, though she is also Kikyo from the Inuyasha dub. In a strange coincidence, she also played Lalah Sune in Mobile Suit Gundam, which I’m going through for the first time right now, and her character literally was just introduced a few episodes ago, so that’s cool. Her Japanese voice actress seems to be more well known and well regarded, Kikuko Inoue. She’s done a ton of roles, including more recent work. She’s even worked for Japanese dubs of American series, such as playing Blue Diamond from Steven Universe. And, like I said last week, she was a member of DoCo.

Of the three Tendo sisters, she’s definitely the one that’s gotten the least attention and development so far. Sadly, I’d say that’s also generally true throughout the entire series, as far as I can recall. Akane is one of the protagonists, after all, and Nabiki is a great source of conflict. In contrast, Kasumi is mostly...there.

That said, even if she isn’t the most well developed character, she’s at least clearly defined. It’s obvious already that she’s the one running the house, seemingly with more authority than even her father. She acts more like a mom than a sister most of the time, which from personal experience is definitely a thing that happens with oldest sisters sometimes, even without dead moms in the picture.

Kasumi cooks their meals, cleans their house, and just seems to be the one making sure everything gets done. She’s also very kind and accommodating, and comedically her strength is her nonplussed reactions to the madness going on around her. Kasumi is nearly always unphased by things like houseguests sparring in the yard. The exception did appear in this episode, however. When her father was injured, she did try to lay down the law on Akane, even bringing up their dead mom to try and make clear how serious this was.

That’s...really all there is I can say about Kasumi, at least so far. I can really only think of one really interesting thing they ever did with her character, and I’m sure other fans know exactly what I’m talking about.

Okay, so, what did I really think of this episode? On the whole, I’d say it was fairly strong. I appreciated seeing Ranma really thinking stuff over a little bit, and that scene with him and Akane at night was very cute. That said, I also do kind of find this Tofu plot a bit boring, since he as a character hasn’t really done a lot for me. So, in the end, I’d say this episode is middle of the pack.

Episode 2: School is No Place for Horsing Around

Episode 4: Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

Episode 5: Love Me to the Bone! The Compound Fracture of Akane's Heart

Episode 1: Here’s Ranma

Episode 3: A Sudden Storm of Love

But what will I think of the second (and only other) part to this small arc? We’ll see next week with the sixth episode, “Akane's Lost Love... These Things Happen, You Know”. Man...I really do love these kinds of episode titles. See you then!

#episode 5 #Love Me to the Bone! The Compound Fracture of Akane's Heart #ranma 1/2 #ranma saotome #akane tendo #kasumi tendo #doctor tofu #anime analysis #anime rewatch

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sladvlactia · 5 years

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The Division 2 and Dissonance

No one with a platform seems to be talking about the Division 2, other than a few more liberal or collegiate papers. And what can be said of it that wasn’t already said about the first Division? A fetishistic gun-porn cover based shooter. One that asks you to uphold all that ‘Makes America Great” but not in so many words. A strong game so far as mechanics goes, that has forced me to exist in a state of cognitive dissonance as I enjoy my way through multiple hours of the kind of violence so expertly mocked and denigrated by Spec Ops: The Line. It has the potential of being a masterful story, if they only knew what it was they wanted to say.

But let’s start with the strengths the game has, which to be fair, are many. A tight cover based shooter that incentivizes creative tactics and strategies, a well-balanced progression system for your gear that makes you care more about what you use on a more complex level than whatever has the highest numbers. Excellent level design with environmental puzzles and storytelling that require you to look beyond your next place of cover and allows for a more expansive story as well as smaller, side-stories you can ferret out if your curious and determined enough. In fact, these side stories are generally more well thought out and nuanced than the main storyline is.

With cover based shooters, there’s always the danger of having the game devolve into a stagnant hide and seek punctuated by grenade explosions. The mix of enemy types, various elevations of cover, and the myriad of different skills makes each battle feel unique, even if you are replaying a mission, you’ll need to adapt to the different enemies or the different paths they may take to flank you or catch you out in the open. The result is a fast paced challenge that requires you to constantly adapt to your surroundings. You have to keep an eye out for anyone with specific gear, do they have a grenade bag? Wait for them to be near someone else and shoot the bag, taking out them and those around them. Are they near a breaker box? Shoot the box and shock them, buying you time to line up a headshot, or to reposition if you’re being flanked.

That attention to detail, and the effort made obvious by the positioning of each element in the game world, leads to the first issue for the Division 2. Of the four different factions, each has specific strategies they use to combat you. Military tactics from the remnants of a battalion with the True-Son’s. Fast and Furious kamikaze and fire with the Outcasts, or the chaotic and “street-tough” style of the Hyena’s. To explore what I’m getting at, let’s start with the Hyena’s; a faction made up of either black people or, “inbred” white people. The “animals” of the Division world, specifically likened to “Black-Bloc” in the in-game descriptions. Whereas the other factions will rely on the cover given, or use their various tools to flush you out of cover, the Hyena’s will rush you, They’re designed to be chaotic, to be an embodiment of anarchy. A miss-step at best when they’re all brown or poor people in the game world, but outright racism/classism is more likely. The Outcasts are villains because of what they did in response to being rounded up and put into a concentration camp, because they want revenge and took it too far. Is another uncomfortable portrayal; as a friend put it, “I can identify the most, with the outcasts…” They’ve become terrorists to be sure, but when the alternative is to trust in the same government agencies that left you to die in the first place, it’s hard to judge. Especially when the faction that is more or less responsible for their suffering, is the military remnant known as the True-Sons. A fascist proxy force clearly meant to be the more jingoist aspect of America, and those that just “Follow-Orders” a step in the right direction for acknowledging the dangers of power and following orders, one that seems to be mysteriously missing from the Division agents themselves. Perhaps portraying a faction of almost religious fanatics known for nursing a grudge from being forced into concentration camps by fascists wasn’t the best idea.

The gear itself is balanced and nuanced enough to allow for customizing your play style, and giving you the option of spending hours going through your stash of goods, trying to get the right amount of attack, vs, skill, vs, Defense boosts to make use of your various talents or skill modifications. Something that is enjoyable to a great number of people who appreciate such fine-tuning. (myself included) As I go through each armor piece, I find myself attempting to match my branding, as each brand has specific perks unlocked by stacking pieces together, modifying my weapons with various scopes, or larger magazines. It’s well designed, and each piece carries a benefit and a detriment to the stats of the gun. It’s easier for me to ignore that narrative behind it, the oh so blunt tagline in the beginning cinematic “Did you have a gun?...Did your neighbor?” A Jingoist, refrain that all but screams that all that keeps us from turning on each other is the threat of punishment. Of violence, Of Death and the end of a highly customized and lovingly crafted weapon. But it’s always there, in the back of your mind that everything in this world is solved by shooting it, even locked doors, in most instances. In fact, the only real interaction the player has comes via bullets. A sacrifice for streamlining the work put into gameplay, models and animation of course, but maybe I just want experience this world without destroying it.

Which leads into the beautiful level design, and the amazing work and the evident love that went into making DC. During missions, you can generally tell where it is you need to go through clever use of extension cords, or discarded shell casings, or even blood smears. Letting you know that THIS door, of the many available, is the one you want to open to proceed. Every alleyway, abandoned parking garage, or small nook in the sewers has sleeping bags or tents, discarded food wrappers or even torn pages from a notebook, telling someone to be strong, that the writer has gone to look for food. Taken together, the level designers have obviously put in a staggering amount of effort and thought into their work. You can find small treasures, hidden easter-eggs or simply little oasis of peace or an excuse to put something silly in. Searching the sewers, I found a small room full of plush animals, in front was a turtle with a miniature Hard Hat on it. Looking around you can see several plushy snakes wrapped around the pipes. There’s nothing else that’s important in this room, no reason to go through the effort of resizing a hard hat to fit on a plush turtle, just the knowledge that some players will find this room, feel a small bit of levity, and be encouraged to stop and explore before moving on. At one point, I came across an area enclosed in wood, a place that you cannot access as a player. And I hear a blues harmonica playing from somewhere inside. Again, no real reason that I’ve found, just something nice to put into the world, something to break up the unceasing “gritty-ness”. Which is, perhaps, the most damning bit of cognitive dissonance in the Division 2. Each faction has found footage style “intel” little cinematic clips that illustrate just how capitol “E” Evil they are. It quickly becomes absurd; the Hyena’s leave a child alive after murdering the adults because they think it would be “funnier to watch him starve”. The outcasts ritualistically murder the builder of their camp, by literally beating him to death with a hammer. The leader of the true sons, true to his 80’s villain trope, kills a doctor in cold blood when she dares tell him that they cannot just abandon the victims of the plague. Each video, or audio clip is entirely serious, each faction is irremediably evil. Only the heroes, the good guys are allowed to be morally grey.

Which, all told, is I think the largest issue I have with the Division 2, the narrative. Helpign defend America, to rebuild it, restore what it once was. The settlements you are tasked with helping in the game are closed off areas within the city. Large walls, armed guards and patrolling squads of armed militia keep the area more or less “safe”. Loudspeakers tell anyone nearby that they cannot simply take in more people, than only the worthy are allowed inside. ‘If you stay here, you have to pull your weight” is a literal quote from one settlement. As you help to strengthen each, more American Flags, and colors of red, white, and blue crop up. The sun shines brighter, the guns get bigger. The people inside are kept inside, safe with work rotas, physical training time, clear rules and regulations. A prison to be blunt, one that only allows in those they deem “desirables”. You find recordings and messages from the leaders or residents of the settlements, hear the radio broadcasts from those inside. They struggle with the knowledge that they cannot allow everyone in, that they live the life of prisoners or impose that life on others. Each recording found reinforces that it is “necessary”, that they are simply doing what must be done for now for a brighter future. Commendable, but worryingly fascist in its execution. Especially when the difference between the good guys and bad guys, functionally, is non-existent. The Hyena’s control the drugs, The True-sons have the most guns and the best gear, the outcasts are weaponizing their own infection, ingeniously turning their outcast status into a weapon itself. Each group is attempting to restore control, or some semblance of a reason to continue to live, through demolishing the past, through exacting revenge, through imposing order, or by preserving what’s left of a lost empire. It’s difficult to feel any different from any other faction, when all you do, all you are capable of doing, is killing and destroying. Even the end game enemies, Black Tusk; a clear nod towards Blackwater, are ambiguously evil. The only thing you know about them is that they oppose you. Finding more of the hidden story pieces, through abandoned cell-phones, laptops, and found footage begins to show a clear breakdown of government. The almost saccharine portrayal of congress “putting aside their differences” to help the sick and wounded is shown in counterpoint to how they fled as soon as things got bad. The current president may or may not have seized control after the assassination of the previous administration.

In all, maybe my issue with this game is that it gives me no choice but to accept that America is corrupt, broken, and racist. That we as a society are one bad day away from warring factions. That the “best” of us, people sworn to defend us and rebuild us, or little more than glorified trained killers. Who scavenge colorful sunglasses to snap selfies in front of their slaughter. Maybe that’s the whole point of the Division, America is great for a small group of people, who are only kept safe by murdering anyone and everyone who doesn’t fit. “Good-Job!” You’ll be told. “By recruiting this camps only doctor, you now have a barber!” Good thing you can look good while fighting people who revel in killing those weaker. To bring it full circle, your mission here was to re-activate your magic SHD network, one you managed to complete relatively early on, why are you here now? A question asked hauntingly in Spec-Ops. Not addressed or entertained in The Division.

#video games #the division 2 #the division game #racisim #fascisim #cognitive dissonance #Slad's Rambles

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theonceoverthinker · 6 years

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OUAT 2X06 - Tallahassee

Who’s ready for a vacay?! I’m thinking Florida!

...I was kind of hoping for Disney, but *shrugs* whatever.

Anyway, under the cut for my thoughts on this OUAT vacation.

Press Release With the hopes of finding a magical compass that could help her and Mary Margaret get back to Storybrooke, Emma takes a journey with a not-too-trustworthy Captain Hook up a treacherous beanstalk in an attempt to steal the item from a murderous giant. Meanwhile, Emma’s past is revealed to be anything but magical when she meets up with a fellow thief who wants to make an honest woman out of her. General Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness Past This was a really well put together segment! What makes it work for me is the care they brought to Neal while constructing his backstory in regards to Emma. It’s actually been a while since I’ve watched an episode with Neal in it, and I forgot about a lot of his charm and dedication. At the same time, the episode doesn’t make Neal perfect at any point, showing him be a thief and getting angry, exasperated, and even a little stupid. That stuff makes the betrayal of Emma’s trust, for as saddening as it is, feel like something that could feasibly happen, especially as the audience can interpret to some extent (Until it’s explicitly laid out a few episodes later).

I have an unpopular opinion among my fellow Emma fans. That is, I feel like she’s a character that doesn’t necessarily need a ton of backstory. That’s because episodes like these are so impactful for the exact reason that they're rarities. when someone lets Emma down in just one flashback, we understand how important that moment was to Emma and how it shaped that one facet of her personality so specifically. well, I feel like had they had too many Emma flashbacks, they wouldn’t have been as effective because they would have been akin to laying on a bed of nails: An overabundance of sob stories just makes one feel exhausted more than sympathetic and so much more of Emma’s depth is revealed from the parts of her that are not spoonfed, such as her one off lines about the effects of her lonely upbringing. Present I’ll go over this soon, but trust is a big theme of this episode, and Emma’s trust for Killian in the present is framed to be at a contrast with her trust for Neal in the past. And to a degree and not a small one, that does come through. There are a lot of subtle moments that show growth (Killian being able to read Emma, Emma confessing that she was in love once, Emma’s concern for Killian’s wellbeing). However, I feel like for in order for Emma’s betrayal at the end to make more sense as a move that frustrates but is still understandable, they should’ve shown a bit more growth in Emma’s trust for Killian. As it stands, their interactions feel like they more or less reset at the start of every new scene between them. Emma makes her distrust for Killian clear, the two of them do something (Climbing, knocking out Anton, exploring Anton’s castle), one of them gets in physical danger or something is otherwise exposed, and 1% of trust is added. I really feel like there should’ve been a bit more warmth or more obvious progress because not only on its own, but especially when compared to Emma and Neal’s story, it’s not as effective when Emma locks him up because I can’t help but feel like that’s something she probably would’ve done at the end of “The Doctor” too. What changed and does she regret her choice? It doesn’t seem to be the case because there’s not much within the segment itself to compare the moment to.

On a more positive note, in addition to just Killian’s interactions with Emma, we get a lot of insight into his character on his own. For instance, Killian, despite working for Cora, doesn’t trust her, adding to the later-on emphasized concern for self preservation. We also see the first of Killian’s signature impatience. It’s weird. After over 100 years in Neverland, Killian has definitely shown how patient he can be, but as his revenge gets closer, practically insight, we see how that patience just drops to nothing. One could conceivably even call that a fault in his character, but I’d argue against that given how we've also seen later on instances where Killian has had no patience with his revenge right in front of him, so it does make sense. It's also very interesting parallel to Rumple, who in later episodes is shown to experience similar behavior. All Encompassing The issue and theme of trust (Or rather, destroyed trust) is prevalent through the two main segments. In the past, Neal betrayed Emma’s trust, and taking from that experience, Emma betrays Killian’s trust (And to a smaller extent, Snow’s trust through not telling her about her favor from Mulan). This episode also has a really nifty parallel to its own predecessors. Now, in a lot of episodes of season 2 thus far, we’ve see characters internalizing a bad lesson in the past, but rejecting it (mostly) in the present (Rumple being more cooperative with Belle’s needs, Regina refusing to inflict the same pain on Henry that Cora inflicted on her, and Regina being able to let go of Daniel). However, for the first time this season, we see a character who internalized that lesson in the past (protect yourself because you don't know when someone will betray you, even if you trust them), but actually refused to move on from it in the present. Emma, despite seeing and even acknowledging that she does to a large extent trusts Killian, still leaves him cuffed atop the beanstalk (“I can’t take a chance that I’m wrong about you.” Insights - Stream of Consciousness -I love Killian in his robes! He just looks so snuggly, even more so than usual! -”Bad form” makes what I believe is its first appearance! -Killian, watch that! That’s your soon-to-be mother-in-law talking! -I like how the mythology of the giants factors into the present story. Keeping in tune with one of the secondary themes of the episode -- that things are never what they seem -- the giant’s were described as brutes (As per Killian’s story), they were (As we later learn) more like isolationists and he war of giants and men was flipped from the known storyline. Watching this episode with the knowledge from “Tiny” already in mind makes all the scenes where the giant’s history is described so gruesome. -Has anyone ever written a fic where Cora actually does accompany Killian up the beanstalk? -”Emma Swan. Good name.” Am I the only one to connect this to Rumple’s “Emma. What a lovely name” line? -I know Neal gets a lot of flack for the “women” line, but I’m not entirely convinced that that was what he was going for. Instead, I feel like he’s playing to the cop’s sexism. I feel this way both because of the really over-the-top-but-in-a-way-that-one-can-tell-it’s-fake weasel-y smile he gives the cop and the “we” he says regarding his and Emma’s escape once the cop goes away. -”You’re not gonna argue with me?” “Would it do you any good?” I like that subtle display of Emma and Snow’s growing bond! -”Well, you never forget your first.” Now I really want to know what Killian’s first beanstalk was like! -Does anyone know what an Apollo bar is? Like, I know that it’s a fake candy bar, but what’s inside? -Random dude in the shop: Just yell “He’s stealing!” And why did you guys not chase after them?! -”Are you sure? Is this...what you really want?” MY POOR EMMA!!!! She’s been let down so many times! -I just realized that after the events of “Awake,” everyone in town had nightmares for months! How much you want to bet there was an Insomnia Club that was formed afterwards? XD -I like how Aurora’s grown to trust Snow so much given their rocky start! (Sleeping Snow, anyone?) -”It’s where the Final Battle was.” I know A&E had absolutely no knowledge as to the Season 6 finale, but I can’t help but snicker anyway. -”It’s rum, and a bloody waste of it.” I feel like this line would’ve worked better with that deleted scene from when they were climbing the giant’s beanstalk. -”Maybe I was once.” I find that this is such a good acknowledgment of trust that Emma now has in Killian. -How strong is Killian that he can get such a loud sound out of that simple pounding with a bone? -I love Anton’s costume! It’s so cuddly! -”I’m the worst human around!” I wonder how much Killian truly believes that. Like don’t get me wrong, Killian’s a baddie and a bad baddie, but does he consider himself worse than Rumple or was that line just part of the ruse? Because it’s Killian, I could honestly buy either. -Jack is so fucking extra. Who puts their own name on their sword?! -Emma just has the most beautiful hair ever! -I love seeing how much Emma’s willing to fight for her happiness when she knows she has it. As soon as Neal tells her he can’t go to Tallahassee, but instead needs to go to Canada, Emma’s all ready to go! -I sometimes forget just how Neal and Baelfire are the same person. It’s not like it’s executed badly or anything, but it’s such a change. -”You know your rights?” I’m not a cop by ANY means, but I’m pretty sure the cop has to actually say the rights (Correct me if I’m wrong). -”We do it side-by-side and fast.” Another line that shows Emma’s increasing trust for Killian! -”You gotta promise that you’ll be there for me.” “I promise.” LIAR! -”Money’s not what she needs.” August, she has roughly ten years left before she can break the curse AND she’s an ex-con. She might need that extra money! August, I’m not liking you in this episode! -How did August send Neal a postcard in his wooden form? -*Bites Anton to get freed* Emma, I don’t know what your dental plan (Or lack thereof) is, but stick with it! Also, more characters should bite to solve their problems! XD -Emma’s gotten so comfortable with a sword! -”You’re wrong.” [About all humans being killers] Emma, saying that while waving the sword isn’t helping your case. -”Now go before I change my mind.” Anton, you precious bean! You can see him trying and failing to be a badass! -”A jump from a beanstalk.” You’re one hell of a daredevil, Emma! Arcs - How are These Storylines Progressing? Emma and Snow getting back to Storybrooke - We get both half a means of a return journey as well as a future means of communication between the realms. Favorite Dynamic Emma and Anton - I honestly stuck this here because I figure I have talked (And will talk) about the other main dynamics, so why not go a touch more obscure?! So, what I like about Emma and Anton’s connection is something that connects her to both Neal and Killian, but gets its due emphasis here: Emma and Anton believe themselves to be alone and have learned not to trust others. And Emma, after understanding Anton’s story, position, and his victimization at the hands of those who bastardized his history, she shows him understanding and compassion, and Anton returns that. Writer We’ve once again got one new writer (Christine Boylan) and one old writer (Jane Espenson). It’s a pretty decent premiere! The past segment especially was fantastic, painting a story about Emma and Neal that was simple, but it worked for that reason. The present segment, well I have a bit more issues with it. I feel like there was this tug of war. they wanted to keep the characters consistent but also tell a story about trust and how Emma’s past ruined that growing trust, and while it’s possible to do that, the journey needed more room for more overt growth. Now, I like the more subtle shows of growing trust (As I said before, confessions of love from the past and concern for each other), but it also felt like those subtle bits didn’t really move Emma and Killian anywhere meaningful, making the climactic moment fall flat, and that’s frustrating because I can't help it feel like this was easily fixable. Why couldn’t Emma and Killian have a moment where they were talking a bit more comfortably, perhaps right before the scene before Anton re-enters the castle, and Killian says something that echoes something Neal said to her in the past segment (Think like when Felix called Calhoun a “dynamite gal” in Wreck It Ralph)? It would’ve contributed more to the crossroad that Emma found herself at the end of the episode and would make her decision (Again) more understandable for as frustrating as it is. Rating 7/10. I really hate giving this episode this score. It’s an okay score for an okay episode, but after the first five episodes of the season scored 10’s or Golden Apples, it feels worse than it actually is to have to put that number down. I loved this walk through of Emma’s experiences with trust. It paints this really vivid image of the types of disappointments that Emma has seen through her lifetime of abandonment, but gave a good deal of nuance and understanding to Neal, someone who ordinarily may have been just straight up villainized. I took points because I felt that there could’ve been just a bit stronger of a growing trust between Killian and Emma. I felt it, but to be a parallel to what Neal and Emma had, I just wish it was stronger because it really just feels like Emma did exactly what she would’ve done to Killian in the previous episode. I want to see her journey and previous experiences shape her actions and while I felt like it was done okay, it was still too weak to contribute to what should’ve been a more tragic payoff. Flip My Ship - Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness” Captain Swan - “Don’t think I’m taking my eyes off you for a second.” “I’d despair if you did.” Those two lines are just the best! Everything one would want from chemistry to animosity is there and it’s just fantastic! The same goes for the famous “I love a challenge line!” Also, in two weird CS/SF parallels, (1) Neal calls he and Emma a we, whereas Emma calls she and Killian “we,” and (2), Neal calls their escape “home” to Emma in the past and Emma does the same with Killian in the present. Also also, I just genuinely love the way Emma worries for Killian after the giant falls, shouting “Hook” as loud as she can. Also, also, also, “Everything we need is right in front of us.” Note how the two of them were looking at each other. Swan Fire - I like how in Emma and Neal’s first scene, Emma raises an impressed eyebrow to Neal as he’s lying to the cop. It’s such a sign that she’d found a kindred spirit! It’s also reinforced when Emma smiles at Neal’s second request for drinks. I like how Neal upgrades their lied about relationship from “girlfriend” to “wife,” subtly signifying how their relationship has truly grown. Also, “this little guy saved us!” I know that was totally not intended to be about Henry necesaarily, but fuck it, I’mma imagine it! Also, the kiss afterwards was adorable as all hell! As was the conversation in the hotel room, and it makes their tragic downfall all the more tragic! Also, there’s a Snowing parallel I just noticed! In the hotel scene in the flashback, Emma talks about how dreamcatchers (Which is kind of her thing with Neal) kept the bad dreams away. Meanwhile, Charming used a candle (Fire = Balefire) to ward the nightmares off from Snow. Also also, “what you want” seems to be a bit of a line between them, akin to “I will always find you” and “I’m a survivor,” said twice by Emma -- once to confirm and again to reaffirm her dedication to Neal! Finally, I just love how Neal initially stands up to August on Emma’s behalf when he says he’s her guardian angel. ()()()()()()()()() Thank you for reading! And to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales to putting this project together and helping me keep the lights on!

Next time, let’s hang out with some moon kids! Season 2 Tally (57/220) Writer Tally for Season 2: Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis: (20/60) Jane Espenson (17/50) Andrew Chambliss and Ian Goldberg (10/50) David Goodman (10/30) Robert Hull (10/30) Christine Boylan (7/30)

Operation Rewatch Archives

#ouat #once upon a time #watching fairytales #ouat 2x06 #ouat rewatch #jenna watches ouat #ships mentioned #swan fire #Captain Swan

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letsdiscoverkitty · 7 years

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Have you seen To the Bone yet? If so, any thoughts?

I was unsure of whether to post about this movie or not, especially seeing as there has been a lot of covered both on social media and in the news. There have been many differing opinions on the latest Netflix movie, and everyone is going to find different things good/bad, so this might be a long one I am afraid...and I will definitely put a TRIGGER WARNING on this, because, well, you know why.

I must admit that when I first saw the two minute trailer for ‘To the Bone’, I was very worried about how the rest of the movie would follow. In that trailer were some quite disturbing images and one scene that stuck in my mind was when Ellen (played by Lily Collins) is counting out the calories on a plate of food that has just been placed in front of her, next to her sister, Kelly (played by Liana Liberato), and her exclaiming ‘it’s like you have calorie Aspergers or something’, to which Ellen raises her fist in the air to and shakes it....I was hoping against hope that the trailer might have just been a bit over-the-top and that hopefully they would be putting across a HELPFUL and EDUCATIONAL message rather than glorifying/romanticising the illness. My hope mainly stemmed from both Lily Collins and director Marti Noxon, having bravely spoken about their past struggles with Anorexia. Sadly that was not meant to be.

They had what could have been an amazing chance to educate people on the reality of suffer from an eating disorder and messed it up by overly romanticising and adding an extremity of ‘Hollywood’-esque spins to make it more ‘likeable’/attractable to audiences. In doing so they have only played into the stereotypes of eating disorders and likely made sufferer’s themselves feel worse. Of course there is always going to be a fine line to tread when making a film about such a raw and touching subject, and there are going to be things that are deemed ‘inappropriate’ to show/talk about but I feel that they neglected this and yes they stayed away from some subjects, they did not in any way steer away from overly judging someone’s suffering based on their APPEARANCE. There were times whilst watching this movie that I simply couldn’t stop myself from shouting ‘NO’ and ‘why would you do that?’ at the screen because I was so mad.

Upon finishing the movie, which I will admit I paused at times because it was getting so dull and I went off to do other things, I felt, well, I don’t think there is really a word to sum it up. It was not TERRIBLE but it was so far from ‘okay’ or ‘good’. It kind of just ‘was’? Personally I would not reccommend someone watch this movie if there are in a rocky/vulnerable place recovery wise and definitely not to someone who is in the depths of their illness (however, as the producers of this film probably well knew, there isn’t much you can stop someone with an eating disorder watching something that could be potentially triggering)

Okay so let’s start with the ‘good’ or ‘okay’ bits...

I liked the scenes that involved Ellen’s sister Kelly. I found that these scenes were some of the best in the whole movie as it really showed the emotionally pain and hurt that close family members go through when a loved one is suffering from an eating disorder. There is one moment in the film which I particularly liked, when Ellen and Kelly have gone to the top of a hill to look over the city at night and they are sitting there and Ellen says to Kelly “I’ve got it under control. Nothing bad is gonna happen.” to which Kelly replies, as she looks out over the city, “I bet a bunch of them who are about to due just said the exact same thing” - in which she is implying other ED sufferers. I felt these scenes between Ellen and Kelly were very raw and real and brought to surface a lot of things that are not often discussed in the awareness of eating disorders. Thumbs up from me.

Obviously the very release of this movie has brought up a lot of discussion about eating disorders, which is great, awareness is essential. People have been talking about it, it’s been in the news and on the radio, however it is sad that the movie itself was unable to continue to educate on the reality of suffering from an eating disorder and trying to find help.

I will give it to them, they did touch on a few of the horrible side effects of suffering from an eating disorder; most notably one girl who miscarried whilst in treatment, that was a tough/hard hitting scene. As well as bringing up a few other eating disorders.

Family therapy and relationships was touched on quite well, however I do not feel that they developed this very well at all. Great that they are showing that it is about the whole family unit and people needing to work together, however the majority of ‘therapy’ scenes were left to Ellen sitting in an office with this ‘radical doctor’ and simply replying with sarcy one-liners.

I feel that they did think about Ellen as a character though. They mentioned that she had had to drop out of college because of Anorexia and now didn’t really have much to her ‘life’. Sadly again I think this could have been built upon, and I feel like the storyline of her posting a picture of something she drew on tumblr and a girl killing herself was just a bit unnecessary/where was the development/therapy/support behind this?!

The candy bar was kind of touching, although not done in the best of ways in my personal opinion, but there was a bit of hope installed.

Now, to the troubles I had with the film, of which there might be quite a few to say the least...

Okay so I need to get this bit over with....the very fact that they asked a person who has struggled with anorexia in the past to LOSE WEIGHT just for a film is utterly RIDICULOUS. I don’t care if it was done with a ‘nutritionist’ or with doctors alongside, this is just not okay to ask of anyone let alone someone who has suffered from Anorexia. Dieting and a history of Anorexia is a no no even when that person might have been in remission for years, it is a very fine line and dangerous thing to do. Not only that but it also adds even more to the misconception/stereotype that you have to be ‘skeletal and about to die’ to suffer from an eating disorder, which is so far from the truth. The image near the very end of the film of Ellen curled up in the foetal position naked was in my opinion, extremely unnecessary (along with all the computer touch-ups and photoshopping...just no) and already it has been noted that many of the images from the film have found their ways to ‘pro-ANA’ websites.I could rant on for a LONG time over this portrayal of a cis-white young middle classed female suffering from Anorexia Nervosa, but I shall stop here.

The lighting, make up and unnecessary touch ups used in the very close up scenes were too much in my opinion (leading on from above comment that they focused far too much on WEIGHT and APPEARANCE). They had too many scenes where Ellen was stripped down and made to either stand on a set of scales or be examined. I’m sorry but the camera lingered there for so long and was just so damaging for anyone who might suffer from an eating disorder, and for spreading awareness to the general public BECAUSE EATING DISORDERS ARE NOT WEIGHT DISORDERS.

Now, let’s also talk treatment...that was no Doctor, I am sorry and I know this was a fictional piece but what Doctor in their right mind would put people who suffered from an eating disorder in a house and tell them that they have the choice to eat or not and that that’s okay...when you are so sucked into and lost in the illness, it is hard to see anything beyond it and you literally cannot think straight. There were no nurses, no supervision, no constant checks or vitals being taken etc. And as someone who has been through that early stage of recovery I can say that the only way that you can begin to start to even think more clearer/start to believe that food is not the enemy and that recovery is an option is THROUGH EATING. The mind literally shuts down and it is hard to focus on anything other than the illness; this only begins to clear with adequate nutrition for a period of time, only then does some logically cognitive processing begin to return. It doesn’t just happen in one snap moment, which the movie does imply at some points, and that everything is ‘fine and dandy’ from there on out. It also isn’t about how someone ‘looks’ and I feel like the scene where Collins was naked on the floor as she ‘looked down on herself’ and she asked if that was really her, feeds into that misconception that it is about how someone ‘looks in the mirror’ or sees themselves. There was no talk of body dysmorphia, nor suffering from an eating disorder AT ANY WEIGHT...

Talking of the treatment ‘house’, I thought it was great that there were people there with all different eating disorders, however I was thoroughly disappointed that that was literally all we learnt about them. There were no other character developments, no elaboration on the reality of suffering from binge eating or bulimia, or even what their ‘stories’ were. All we got were a few labels ‘thrown around’ almost like a little tick box for the director to be like ‘yes we put that in, done, let’s move on’ and some incredibly unhelpful behaviour talk. Yeah, well done.

Talking of characters, let’s talk about Lucas. I LOVED that there was a guy in treatment, there needs to be a lot more awareness made for boys/men who suffer from eating disorders. However I was thoroughly disappointed when the only character development we had was that he eventually wanted to have a relationship with Ellen after following her on tumblr for years, and then meeting her in the house...he tried to make a move on her that literally comes out of nowhere and was just, unnecessary?

On that subject, when someone is suffering from an eating disorder and is malnourished, there IS NO SEX DRIVE; the only thing they tend to think about is food food food food. There is no desire or time for anything else, it is just the disorder and I feel this was not put across at all.

Even the doctor (whose name I can’t even remember) says that he thinks that Ellen and Lucas would make a good couple...now where in a patent treatment plan does ‘match making’ lie? I tell you; nowhere. Relationships between patients is never recommended because the reason you are in treatment is for your health and wellbeing and to be with someone who also suffers from similar struggles is just, I’m sorry this doctor’s tactics were low.

Another of his wonderful ‘life changing’ therapy techniques was to get Ellen to change her name to Eli...like what? I’m sorry but how is this meant to help the patient work on healing their relationship with themselves and food and life? It came out of nowhere and lead to nowhere. No discussion about WHY it might be helpful or how it could provide her with a way to move forwards...just nothing.

Mr magic therapy doctor also decided to take the patients on a trip to an art gallery and make them play around and dance in water...great, but this is not some huge recovery turning point and, Idk they just never really explained any of the therapy things he was trying to do with her, it was all very vague and wishy washy and yes there was a message in going to that art gallery but it wasn’t some ‘magic answer’

Ellen’s turning point came when she went to go back to her mother’s (who now has another partner) and she stays on their ranch (?) and runs up into the mountains and then comes back and allows her mother to bottle feed her? I’m sorry, I know everyone has different struggles but I found this scene extremely difficult to watch and, idk, degrading? Because it is sending out the message that those who suffer from an eating disorder are ‘weak’ and ‘fragile’ and need to be ‘cuddled and cared for’ and okay their relationship may have a lot of healing to do and maybe she wasn’t held much as a child and I feel very sorry for her, but at 20 years old they need to be given the tools in order for them to build on their relationship and work together. And yes she might need her mum to hold her hand at times and give her a hug and cuddle etc, we all need that but to be bottle feeding her from a babies bottle whilst she is cradled in her lab was just a step too far in my opinion and made me feel very uncomfortable.

Behaviours....lord were they everywhere. The way she was pushing food around the plate, cutting it into very small pieces. The purging advice that was being given in the treatment house kitchen?, the vomit found under the bed, the different foods they were ‘allowed’ to eat (because yes the patients could chose exactly what they wanted to eat (a whole tub of peanut butter for one girl or two boiled eggs for another), and that restaurant scene...I am sorry but that scene was hideous and horrible to watch. And the fact that they pretended to be cancer patients...no.

I feel like they romanticised quite a lot of the realities of living with an eating disorder - many of which I am sure were to add that ‘Hollywood’ touch to make it more marketable, however I think it has done a lot more hurt than good.

As for the ending...I hated it. Okay great, Ellen was ready to head back to treatment and push forwards and have a life beyond Anorexia, however there was some TERRIBLE acting, followed by her walking up to the door of treatment and that was it. No talk or recovery or how to reach out for recovery or how to ask for help. No sign of her actually going THROUGH recovery and having those ‘little wins’ that make you see how worth it it is. No. They made sure to focus a straight on face shot with heavy make up to make her look even thinner and that was it.

What would I have done differently?Pretty much 99% of it. And the biggest bit that I WISH they had put in would have been HOW to get help and what the process of recovery entails. Because despite being in the house for the majority of the film, Ellen spends the whole time refusing ‘treatment’. It would have been nice to have seen her move forwards and begin to learn what having a life can feel/be like again. I would have liked a bit more HOPE. I really hoped that this film would be more informative and less focused on the weight/appearance side of things, but this is Hollywood I suppose. Could it have been done in a slightly different way to help this? yes. I do not believe that films are the right route to go down to raise awareness, a series, perhaps, and documentaries too, but this was just a shambles. I know I said at the beginning it was not terrible, I think I take that back now, on reflection it was terrible and I know everyone will have different reviews but I was left highly disappointed and saddened by this piece of work.

#to the bone #this ended up being a lot longer than I initially thought it would be sorry!#it was just not worth it and was a waste of time and has done a lot more hurt than good #but that is just my opinion #I think it could have been done so much better #Anonymous #asks

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