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nqmonarch · 4 months

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Red Flags in HSR Characters

I have a problem of simping for the most red flagged characters except I can't handle red flags. Like violence makes me nope the fuck out of any relationship, I am so scared of getting hurt in any way, shape, or form. In real life I'm fucking terrified of being manipulated into being dependent on someone because I've experienced that shit and it isn't fun. Hate being insulted, degraded, all of that.

But the red flagged characters are just too cool???

Like Dr. Ratio, sure he's a pompous shit and would probably end up degrading you which I hate but he's so cool?! So I need to find some way to make him into this weird yellow flag without making myself into some super genius because no way is that gonna happen.

So instead put him in like a tutor AU, he's teaching you and when you get something wrong he gives you such a side ways insult. Like it takes a minute to realize it's an insult, it's worded in such a creative peculiar way. The second it registers you begin doing ten times worse on every question. It doesn't take long for him to realize that being told you're shit isn't inspiring to everyone. So he takes a... kinder approach. He's still a hard ass and strict but he's actively trying to do better and you can tell, when he starts a sentence suddenly stops and then brings that sentence in a completely different direction. You both end up learning. You end up learning the material and he ends up learning how to be somewhat better at dealing with people whose ideal day isn't being insulted.

Then there's the aeons. i simp for all of them, like how can you not??? Especially Nanook (using he/him pronouns for Nanook), Yaoshi, IX, and Aha. Now first off IX isn't a red flag IX is a lovely little black hole who I will defend with my life. But the other three??? They're as red as a stop sign.

Like sure, Nanook would probably destroy you the first chance he gets. Maybe Nanook is the destruction because he wants to be destroyed. I, I don't know man. Like he's so beautiful but how the hell do you even write romance with him? That isn't just like destroying the love interest.

Maybe he's had an insatiable urge to destroy everything ever since the dawn of his existence and he can't remember why. He's always been filled with rage, hatred, toward everything that's existed. Then he sees you and it all comes rushing back toward him. Your death, the hole it filled, the only thing that could really be blamed was the universe. It was everyone and everything's fault. So he would destroy it all to protect you.

Still a red flag but man I'm trying my best, no matter what Nanook will always be a red flag. Yaoshi on the other hand... surely there's a way I can make Yaoshi into a yellow flag after all they just want to help.

Yaoshi who would save your entire planet, heal every individual part of the ecosystem and every person, just to see you smile. They would ask nothing in return and instead remain by your side, enjoying the beautiful of the world. Then the mara strikes, people begin to lose their minds and themselves and you're left to beg them for a way to reverse this. But this is the price of life.

Yaoshi assures you that this is natural but they still watch on in horror as you inevitably succumb to the mara as well. Only then do they try to figure out how to fix it.

The further I get the more hopeless I become. Then there's Aha...

They probably found you entertaining at first, a human full of surprises and excitement, someone that could survive any trial. Then you grew on them a bit more and they found himself becoming attached. Aha wasn't supposed to be attached but this of course just makes an opportunity for more entertainment! Now they're actually invested and can experience the nail biting tension of all this drama!

Just another form of entertainment, it'll be a shame when you're gone though.

Then there's all the other beautiful red flags Ruan Mei, Jing Liu, Blade, Luocha, and Aventurine and Sunday seem like red flags as well even though they're not out. Like if bad to date why do I want to date?

Their red flags are a part of them and it's hard to work around it, so sometimes you just gotta embrace it. Life's rough man. In the end it's my fault for liking red flags. I'll just stick to Jing Yuan for now, peak husband material.

#reader insert #hsr x reader #red flags #dr. ratio x reader #dr. ratio #aeons x reader #aeons #nanook x reader #yaoshi x reader #aha x reader

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good-soupmens · 8 months

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Maybe this is just me being a christian in the good omens fandom, but a lot of people say Aziraphale's arc needs to end with him *entirely* dismantling his religious beliefs and stop following God, and I would disagree (I do have religious trauma, so hear me out 💀)

Yes, it was VERY necessary for him to learn that heaven didn't have humanity's best interest at heart. In fact, the archangels are incredibly selfish. Questioning their morals led him to stop armageddon with Crowley. But as the narrator of season one, God is somewhat mysterious, even cheeky ("a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time"). I don't think we're SUPPOSED to dislike her as a character, but we're meant to question whether heaven is really carrying out her plan.

I often see heaven as the equivalent of a corrupt church; the kind that scares you with hell, says they have power over the bible so you should listen to them, and asks you for donations when they'll probably just spend it on themselves. They're toxic.

Crowley is wise to want to distance himself as much as possible. But I can't say Aziraphale is wrong for wanting to fix it. Heaven existing at ALL isn't the problem, it's the way it's conducted. If they really cared about the earth, they could help people. Crowley saved a girl from killing herself, Aziraphale forgave Maggie's rent, Crowley helped Shakespeare get his plays off the ground, Aziraphale healed Anathema and fixed her bike. Both stopped hell from ending the earth (and heaven orchestrating it). Crowley saved things every time that he was sent to destroy them.

They're constantly doing little miracles, sometimes big ones, while still letting the earth run, where humans can make their own choices and decide what to believe. If heaven was anything like Crowley and Aziraphale, there wouldn't be a system in need of destroying.

I wrote more detailed meta on good omens God here (and my therory on the ineffable plan), but my point is to say that destroying Aziraphale's faith entirely is not the solution. He doubts that heaven is even doing God's work. The end goal for dealing with religious trauma isn't always letting go of your belief in God (that's okay if it is!) but many of us need to deconstruct toxic ideas taught by toxic churches. Some people wouldn't survive without their faith. And FAITH in God isn't the problem, people misrepresenting God in order to devalue, shame, and oppress others for personal gain is.

Given that she canonically exists in the good omens universe, that means that she created everything. She made Aziraphale, Crowley, the universe, the earth, everyone who went on to create anything else, and life itself. Every moment, every place, every feeling, every choice, and every experience was possible because it was created. She's the reason anything that in the history of time was able to happen at all, good or bad.

God may not tell anyone about her plan, but I have a feeling it's going to be the end result of the series, where Crowley and Aziraphale were a part of it (I could be kidding myself, but that's my theory)

The concept of the "sides" being heaven and hell doesn't work without everyone getting a real choice. Neither Crowley or Aziraphale truly belonged to their respective sides because they were morally against them. Just as heaven needs to be fixed, hell shouldn’t be run by *obligation* to do evil. The good omens book said that many demons just considered it their job ("Go up there and make some trouble")

Thinking back to Aziraphale's line, "But humans...get a choice" makes me think that THAT'S what will change.

It's not "this group is nice. go out and do good" and "this group is bad. go out and do evil", it'll be everyone making choices (whether they want to spread misery and destroy the earth, or truly help better the earth and show people the light in a flawed world). Heaven would have a real job of thwarting evil if they weren't the ones administering it, and maybe that's what Aziraphale will try to change.

(End of essay personal rant!!)

This is for queer christians especially, I know people forget us. My religious trauma comes from homophobia. I have to remind myself daily that it's not a fault of God, but people. It's PEOPLE who harbor hate for what they don't understand, and many use religion to justify their wanting us not to exist. They fundamentally misunderstand the point of following christ, and others have to work to change that.

It may seem like the best solution is to object to christianity entirely, but I find genuine happiness in it despite the bad eggs. I wouldn't be here if not for it, and it doesn't take brainwashing and manipulation for me to be a follower. I want to be. That's the reason I say any of this; for good omens to end on a positive note with God would mean a lot to queer christians. We're often caught between christians that hate gay people and gay people that hate christians, and it's hard for us to accept both parts of ourselves. Good omens helps me love both :) and thats why I relate to Aziraphale as a character

Also. queer christians and non-christian queer people with religious trauma, you're all so valid and cool, I love you <3

#good omens meta #ineffable plan #god good omens #religious trauma #queer christian #Aziraphale #good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens season 3 #good omens theory #gay christian #trans christian

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bibibbon · 5 months

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Characters with wasted potential : Himiko Toga

Honestly it's such a shame she really was one of my favourite villains but was done absolutely dirty by the plot.

I have a few problems with togas character which a lot of them are caused by horikoshi himself:

HER INTERACTIONS. What I mean is that her interactions with characters tends to be inconsistent for the most part I really love her relationship with the league and how she views them as a family but it made no sense to me how her relationship with Izuku is gone/non existent and how her relationship with ochako is. I get that hori made toga specifically for ochako but I don't see the appeal in togaochoa or how they're supposed to be Parallels?

HER BACKSTORY. Don't get me wrong I love the idea of toga's backstory and how it shaped her as a person but i think it could of been expanded on earlier like why did it have to be the last arc for her to shine and then get almost everything stripped away? Also there are some inconsistencies in togas backstory since it is implied that she had siblings so what happend to that?

HER SCREEN TIME. What I mean by this is as the manga continues her score time decreases a lot and it comes to a point where she almost always shares her screen time with ochako which harms both of them

THE WAY SHE IS SEXUALISED. I don't know I blame this on both hori and the fandom but why is that she has to be clothless in majority of the scenes like their definitely could of been another way to avoid that.

HYPOCRISY. A lot of the time toga can come of as a hypocrite. I mean she loved people like twice and the league yet she never tried to kill them or consume them while she does that with the people like toga. TO FIX THIS MAKE HER BE CONSISTENT and treat everyone in a similar way. ALSO THE CONCEQUENCES AND HER FEELINGS FOR TWICES DEATH ARE BAREKY EXPLORED AND ARE PUT ASIDE FOR TOGAOCHA!!! WHICH SUCKS

As you can see there really isn't many problems with toga's character and she really is one of Horikoshi's best characters and villains. This is what I would do to improve her :

Give her more of her own screen time and monologues - horikoshi can already do this very well considering her whole fight with curious and her relationship with twice focused a lot on her as a character and helped developed her.

Have her interact with more characters and give us more moments with the characters she already interacts with - what I mean is that we get more with toga and the league and her feelings about them. We can also get more about how toga views izuku and ochako well I do understand her views of ochako I would of liked to see both of their relationships develop a whole lot more.

Fix the inconsistencies in her backstory - Toga has some major inconsistencies in her backstory that could be fixed or addressed. For example, it is implied that she has siblings so show us the siblings, show us how her family felt. I used to be a fan of the monoma being related to toga theories because I feel like that would of been an interesting dynamic especially if explored in canon but I do understand if it clashes with the todoroki family plotline but I still like it and it could add more depth and complexity to both of them.

Give her and ochako more Parallels- maybe Iam stupid but I really can't see the parallels between them except of both of them having a crush on izuku and wanting to become the person they have a crush on

There are two routes you can go with Himi's character which is the original route that horikoshi took which actually is a pretty solid route or the other route which is to actually redeem her and make her someone who shows others that you can change for the better when given the chance and opportunity

Toga is a brilliant character who seems like the most redeemable villain but I like the ending she got it made sense for her character. Toga is someone who tried to love the world around her but the world never appreciated or liked the way she expressed herself. While there were definitely problems with the way she expressed herself instead of getting help with learning how to use her quirk safely and quench her thirst for blood she was just abused and beaten into putting on a mask to hide who she was. As we know that mask broke ( her mask breaking can also be something related to her canonically having a crush on ochako making her a bi character however I DO THINK THAT PLOT POINT COULD OF BEEN BETTER) and left toga insane and obsessed with the idea of love and becoming someone loveable. Hori is also smart with her character design as it can be hinted or implied that toga does self h@rm and the way she dresses tries to make herself more youthful and cuter so she can appear as someone who is easily loveable. I also love the sneaky ways hori utilises spider lilies symbolism with her character as in multiple character pages and manga panels when she is talking about blood and her quirk there is always spider lilies. Also the ending, when one of her buns is undone it symbolises her death as she sacrifices herself to become one with the one she loves.

In conclusion, Toga is a very solid character who is a symbol of those who are critiqued and discriminated for being different in society yet she lives the way she wants to and finds her own happiness in a strange place and in a unexpected way even if she ended up dying for it.

#mha critical #bnha critical #toga himiko #hori actually done something good with her character #horikoshi critical #anti togachako #anti toga himiko

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sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee · 11 months

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Can I get Riddlers with Henchwoman crush, who isn't too bright but still doesn't ask questions because she doesn't want people to laugh at her.

"Sweet as honey, dumb as..." Riddler party x F!reader

Absolutely! I figured I'd go directly for "she/her" rather than "you" for this one. Maybe I'm wrong but I'm getting oc vibes!

TW: None

Gotham

He figures it out within a few times of meeting her and is very actively not saying anything about it. She's pretty, she listens to his instructions, and she's nice to him! What else could he ask for besides her staying out of his plans?

He might get a little frustrated that she doesn't know the correct answers to his riddles but if she actually tries, that's already a step above others pre-criminal career. Even Oswald was kind of a jerk to him at first! But if people are mean to her... kill bill sirens.

The truth is, he knows his genius plus neurodivergency makes him a bit of an odd figure to others. Awkward and gangly. He tries to fit in, well, the TRIED to fit in. Seeing someone he cares about struggle to do the same thing because they don't feel enough hurts his heart. He'll help her fix it...

60s

He honestly didn't notice at first because, obviously, the reason she's so quiet is a silent reverence for his brilliance. Lots of people don't get his riddles anyways! Except the boy blunder and that thorn in his side.

Anyways, he likely only notices when another henchperson is giving her guff about being dumb. Cornering her when they think he's not around to bully. Edward is quickly behind them, chastising, "Oh, and you think you're so clever?" Rattling off riddles and quiz questions until they shirk away in shame.

"Pretty thing, is that why you haven't been speaking up? Such a shame to miss the sound of your voice simply because others are jealous you have my eye." That's what it is. Of course. That's how he'll phrase it. It's okay she doesn't need to be a genius for him, he'll do the thinking for both of them <3.

Zero Year/Capullo

He notices rather quickly. Her cute, puzzled looks but the way she keeps silent. The way he rambles on about certain topics and she gives a nervous smile and a nod.

of course he's going to fuck with her. Privately.

Tells her some long, theatrical version of Perseus and Medusa- Asks her how it relates to his current crime and what she knows about it. Come on, no need to be shy. He's waiting...

Aw, she doesn't know? It's alright, let him tell you all about it. Funny, he was willing to wipe out a whole city because they couldn't best him. Yet, he can't bear to lose her. She'll just have to be his prized caged bird, favored by the Gods.

BTAS

Genuinely, he's used to it? Most if not all of his henchpeople are pretty... eh, in terms of intelligence. They're there for MUSCLE and BRAWN. Surely, if Edward is there, they don't need anyone else thinking for them, anyways. Even Query and Echo weren't the brightest at moments!

It's more that she's choosing to not even ask questions. Everyone asks questions! Tim, the dumbest rock of them all, asks all his questions and Riddler is amazed the man knows how to breath and talk at the same time! Just... ask.

Also it's totally fine that she needs to ask him things and croon about how intelligent he is, that revs his engine. In fact, it's kind of ideal, in a way. Gain a little more confidence, stay devoted, sweetheart, and the world is your oyster! He'll make sure of it!

Telltale

There was some friction at first. Silent and stupid doesn't suit him. Condescending questions, "Did you actually understand all that or are you trying to save face, girl?" It's a good thing she's patient or she'd be scared off.

Anyone else laughs at her, though, and it's on. There's blood in the water and he's the shark. Only HE gets to be a shit to her, thank you very much.

"Ask your questions. Now. If you mess up my carefully articulated plans because you didn't bother to ask, I'll be much more cross than if you looked a certain way."

The affection develops from her genuine kindness and passions. Maybe she's not bright, but he sees her value as a person in other ways.

Arkham

In fairness, he already thinks everyone besides him is an idiot so it's not exactly disproving that theory. She's just more quiet about it. In some ways, it's pleasant. It means he doesn't have to listen to moronic whining all the time.

Yet, and he's not sure why, he feels this sort of longing in the pit of his stomach for her to not die while helping set up his traps. If he sees her on camera about to trigger something, he's shouting at her to stop! Stop, What Are You Doing-

It's quite distracting. She's going to have to stop being that kind of henchwoman immediately. Perhaps a position in the "office" with him, where he can keep an eye on her. Yes, surely this will have no consequences whatsoever and he can stop worrying about her safety or person.

2022

Probably the most "forgiving" of any of them. He's quiet himself so he just assumed his new henchwoman was matching his energy. Yet it's when she gets one of his direct orders wrong and he loses his temper... She's in tears and babbling about not understanding and the lightbulb goes on.

The mask is coming off and he's comforting her, "Shh, shhh, it's alright, it... People make mistakes." It doesn't hurt he's still been crushing on her for ages now so getting her to lean on him is a good feeling. He tells her it's alright, that if anyone makes fun of her, he'll take care of it personally.

He actively encourages her to ask him if she doesn't understand. It doesn't mean she's dumb it just... maybe she needs a little bit of help sometimes! It's okay!

#gotham riddler #60s riddler #btas riddler #arkham riddler #telltale riddler #2022 riddler #zero year riddler #Riddler #foxwriting #riddler x f!reader

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sentenceme-leni · 25 days

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Wednesday. Minimum 3 sentences.

---

Belle called up a smile when she recognized the man standing in wait at the bookstore door. In her time as Rumpelstiltskin's companion, she had met several of the more important tradesmen in the Dark Mountains both out of necessity and in the odd social occasion she convinced Rumpelstiltskin to attend.

The seamstress and her husband were among those Belle met more often, after she won the argument for everyday dresses that weren't thrown together with magicked cloth and a stitching spell.

Her compromise had been to allow Rumpelstiltskin free reign on her ball gowns.

(The man had good taste, after all, if loud and showy. Belle always enjoyed the result on the mirror, and, well... Wouldn't it have been a shame not to allow his power that harmless outlet?)

"Master Frank," she greeted the man, offering a hand.

He looked at it with obvious hesitation. The curse had ingrained in all of them the manners of Maine culture, but there were several who hesitated now that Emma had broken the curse.

He did take the hand, but quickly bowed over it to kiss the air over her knuckles.

Belle fixed her smile, but inwardly groaned. A bookstore owner didn't get this gallantry. The Dark One's maid, however, when called upon by an inhabitant of the mountains that surrounded the Dark Castle, was treated like an ambassador between the people and the power none else would dare interrupt with small matters.

"Madam," said the seamstress' husband, "I've come to beg for your time and patience..."

"Of course," she agreed at once. The better to get it over with. "Please come in," she said as she unlocked the door, "We can talk at my desk."

He smiled in obvious relief, following after her. Once seated, he refused the offer of a beverage.

"How may I help you?"

He fidgeted a little before taking a deep breath. "We heard... My wife and I, I mean. Is it true there is a way back to our world?"

Belle bit her lip. Of course the rumor had started as soon as Snow White and Emma had disappeared. The whole of Storybrooke was now as obsessed with portals as Rumpelstiltskin had once been. "Not as such," she told him gently. "Queen Snow and the deputy were taken by force, and we do have reason to believe they're now in the Enchanted Forest... Whatever remained of it after the curse swept in." She saw him pale and too late regretted including that last tidbit. "We are working to recover them, of course, but..." She shrugged. "It's still a work in progress."

His face fell further.

"Are you having difficulties in Storybrooke, Frank?" she asked, worried now.

These people were not under the Dark Castle's purview anymore, but Belle felt a bit of an obligation anyway. While Rumpelstiltskin had plotted, Regina grew bitter, and Belle herself had struggled to believe in happy endings, the common people had been betrayed out of their very homes.

Thankfully, Frank shook his head. "Not as such, no. Of course I wouldn't come to you to complain, m'lady!" he rushed to reassure her. "Our house is grand enough for us and the littles. And the amenities! This world is truly a wonder." He sighed, though. "We just thought... My wife and I, I mean. If we could reach our lands, perhaps we could get some decent fabric for our work..."

Belle blinked. "Fabric?"

"Exactly!" He grew more animated. "The quality here is, well. Have you tried the cotton, Lady Belle? My Bertha would die of shame if she had to present you with even a sock in this world!"

"...I see."

Belle didn't, but she was broadminded enough to understand that priorities would differ. Personally she hadn't noticed much of a difference in the local clothing aside for the shorter fashions. but she also had already complained to Rumpelstiltskin about the lack of leather covers for newer books.

"Well," Frank said dejectedly. "Nothing to do about it anyway."

Belle smiled encouragingly. "I trust your wife's work to triumph, no matter the available materials." She rose, making to accompany him to the door and answering his bow with a slight curtsey. "In fact, please do tell Miss Bertha that I'll visit her soon."

The seamstress' husband grinned, giving her a lower bow. "We'll be glad to have you, Lady Belle!"

Once the man was out of sight, Belle sat back at her desk and considered the situation.

Rumpelstiltskin was busy breaking the town line. Regina was recovering her son's trust.

Happy endings were closer at hand this time. Perhaps she could keep an eye on what happened around them this time.

The End

17/04/24

#ouat fanfic #belle (ouat)#original character #background rumbelle #ar: the long haul

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bardicbeetle · 2 months

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hey. Hey. You got any analysis of the Lost Boys or thoughts on the movie to share? who's your favorite character in it and why??

@abalonetea

Analysis on the movie I've been many levels of obsessed with since age 14 you ask?

...this is going to end up undercut for length I can already feel it.

The Lost Boys is my comfort movie, my I-feel-like-shit-nothing-is-fixing-it movie, my I-can't-write-please-help movie and my go-to for when I am inflicting media upon a new friend. I know it backwards forwards, upside down and inside out, I own the out of print novelization written by Craig Shaw Gardener, I posted the original prequel script to fanfiction.net in the early 2010s because I found it buried in a forum post and wanted it to be easier to find, I have listened to every version of cry little sister that G Tom Mac has ever put out in addition to the entire stage musical he produced. The fic I wrote for it in 2011 is still on Wattpad and to this day for some fuck ass reason gets 1000s of hits per year. I have another fic for it on ao3 that still takes up brainspace for me on a minimum weekly basis.

Honestly do not know who I am as a writer if not for this film.

It is such a huge part of who I am as both a fan of media and a vampire writer and as a horror enjoyer in general.

And it is undeniably, baked into its bones, queer as fuck.

Not just from the overt point of here is a film in the 1980s about men sharing blood, directed by an openly gay man, hands us platonic and familial and romantic interactions between male characters, who are allowed to hold one another, allowed to express emotion, allowed to exist freely and without shame I am--so very abnormal about this movie.

I'll be the first to admit it's not perfect by any means, it very much exists a time capsule of its era, but also, to momentarily put the bar on the floor, it isn't slur laden and full of take-backs for any of the emotional vulnerability like other things around then were (see: Once Bitten, which while unarguably very much more on the comedy side of horror-comedy, i'm going to put into the same category by virtue of Camp Vampire Movies of the 80s).

It hands us one of my favorite mothers of all time. Lucy Emerson is a treasure, she spends the whole movie trying her goddamn best to remember that she is stronger than anyone gives her credit for. That she chose to divorce an abusive man, pick up her two sons, and leave without more than signing the papers and getting out. She doesn't care if they're poor, she doesn't care if she could have gotten something from her ex-husband, she wants her boys safe and there is a very large implication that sticking around to do the whole song and dance would have ended badly. Lucy lives for her sons, she wants so badly to make the world easier for them than it was for her, she wants to be part of their lives and part of their interests even if she does not understand them, and I maintain that Had Max Actually Succeeded, it would not have been long before the Lost Boys themselves were Lucy's as much as her own two sons, and that would not have ended well for Max. Protecting mother, lioness, made to be underestimated so you are always caught off guard.

Edgar and Alan Frog are near and dear to my heart, these idiot vampire hunter children were just so very much what my brother and I were in terms of Making Up Games To Play--ignoring the fact that for these two it's real, not that it ever had been before the Emerson family rolled into town and Sam's brother got mixed into the Lost Boys group. Edgar wanting to be in charge of things and wanting to protect the people he cares about and the town he is too stubborn to admit he loves despite being what, 12? 14? Alan being quieter but just as absolutely ready to go "yeah we are totally experts at this" as his twin, the fact that neither of them have any idea what they are getting into. Dipping barely into the sequels territory (which...they aren't good. by any definition. but Edgar and Alan are the best part of them both) we get Edgar dealing not only with his perceived loss of Alan to half-vampirism, but his whole loss of Sam after having to kill him and I just.

Ugh.

NOW, dipping into the main event there is Michael, who spends this whole movie just trying to figure out where the hell he's supposed to belong at this point. He doesn't see any point in starting a new high school in his senior year, he doesn't want to upset his mother by just absolutely dropping off the planet, he cares deeply about his family and wants to help however he can because they are struggling for money. So what does this seventeen year old kid do? He starts picking trash up off the beach for eight hours a day. He gives that money to his mother under the guise of it being "leftover from christmas" because he doesn't want her to worry about him working. He feels so fucking lonely without the friends he left behind in Phoenix and he feels like he's too old to supplant himself into a new friend group in Santa Carla before everyone goes their separate ways after high school anyways.

Enter Star and the Lost Boys.

Yes, Michael is taken in by Star because she's beautiful and mysterious and he's a teenage boy seeing nipples through a tank top, but beyond that he sees in her, in David and the others, how self sure they all are of the decisions they've made. This group is all within his age, they're all living in a goddamn sunken hotel half claimed by the ocean, they have motorcycles like him, they smoke weed and eat chinese food and Marko keeps pigeons and Dwayne can skateboard and Paul is a music nerd and what the fuck how do they manage to seem like they have their lives more together as a group of teenage runaways than he does?

He's enamored with it, obsessed with it, the movie speeds up a timeline of something that does in fact happen over the course of a couple weeks, of him hanging out with them, slowly experiencing more and more symptoms of vampirism from the blood he drank the first night, unable to stop coming back, unable to really figure out what it is they have figured out that he doesn't, and hoping that maybe if he stays with them he will eventually feel the same confidence in his own existence that they do.

But couple that with the horrifying reality that he is becoming a monster. His younger brother is terrified of him, the family dog bites him, the horses won't go near him, he pulls a mouse out of a trap freshly dead and squeezes it like a spent juice box into his mouth, he is falling apart at the seams by the time David decides it's time to finish things. And that's what David wants, he wants Michael in a position where he is no longer lucid enough to resist once there's blood in the air.

And it almost fucking works.

I stand by my belief that the entire movie hinges on the beach party where the Lost Boys kill a whole bunch of Surf Nazis. The whole thing, the outcome of the final fight, the failure of Max's plan, all of it hangs on that one night, and whether or not Michael can actually manage not to give into the bloodlust. He does manage, obviously, he leans into the shock and fear and near throws himself out of that tree because he knows that if he doesn't, he will join the blood bath happening not ten feet away. He is starving and exhausted and everything in him is screaming that if he just gave in, it would all feel so much better.

But he doesn't.

He lays in the sand until he cannot hear any heartbeats left.

Lays there clawing his hands into the ground like if he can hold himself still enough then maybe this will stop being real.

Three of the four boys don't pay much mind to this, Dwayne Paul and Marko have slipped back into regular antics despite being coated red. Their faces have returned to normal, their eyes no longer brilliant gold rimmed red, they are laughing and shoving and having a good time.

But David is furious. He's quiet about it, he isn't loudly angry, something I think he probably absorbed from Max over the years, he tells Michael what needs to be done if he wants to stay with them, and then he and the other Lost Boys leave him there in the sand, burnt flesh and ashes drifting down to him on the breeze.

The thing about David is that he realized the night on the train bridge that he didn't care about Max's bullshit plan. He didn't care that he was originally going to feed Michael to Star. He is fixated on getting Michael to join them, not just for himself, not just to keep Star around, but also because there's a refusal to give up in this kid that has him excited, a stubbornness that he wants to break. It's the thing that eventually leads to his death.

ANYWAYS.

I think, perhaps, I have yelled enough.

Oh, shit, favorite character.

I think without any doubt it has to be David. Especially after reading the novelization, the comics, the original prequel script, he's just, he is such an interesting character and his motivations are so obvious despite how much he would appear to hold them close to his chest. He's a root character I can trace a lot of the tropes that carry over in my own antagonists to, and some of my protagonists as well.

double anyways, camp vampires from 1987 my beloved.

Thank you Katie <3

#the magician cries #questions concerns and or rotten tomatoes #piles of vampire bs #tlb #the lost boys

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hundredblooms · 1 month

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lol this tag is a lie i already have things in the works for inserts despite the games being unreleased. lol. lmao even. anyway. here's rough sketches/concepts and whatnot for them. all information is subject to change as things get released. under the cut because hoooo boy this got long.

jackpot crash course

two different ideas for this one actually. i may do one or both it depends-

idea one is CD's junior detective. they've known her since childhood.

idea two is a car mechanic that fixes up vehicles for benny. they've known him since childhood as well. if i go with this one they get to wield a comically large wrench at some point, maybe to kill one of the other characters since this is a death game.

they lack charisma but they make up for it in likeability and tenacity. also manipulating the shit out of people, which they kind of feel bad about but justify with their desire to survive.

bittersweet sentence

take the autism creature and put it in a human body. that's it that's this self insert.

it has a staring problem but that's because it's observing the other prisoners to see what they do and don't like and how they handle situations.

they also have this weirdly calming effect? keeps yun-woo from snapping and tones down na-hun's energetic ass a bit.

they follow yun-woo and na-hun round like a stray cat. no one knows why. yun-woo has tried to shake them off but they stay anyways. na-hun doesn't mind, he enjoys their company.

it's never outright stated how they ended up in the dreamscape prison but it's implied they were in a really bad situation and bad headspace when they first fell asleep

firmly believes they don't deserve parole so they purposely neglect their daily tasks or give their stickers away in order to stay in the prison. yun-woo does manage to convince them to leave with him once they get close enough.

even so, they worry they may not get to see him in the real world because the premise is people trapped in their sleep and if they have been stuck in sleep for a while (we're talking MONTHS) they could die or end up in critical condition.

s-01-ver bullet

they're either with uno (whoever he's affiliated with) or laska industries. either way they're proficient at their job and well respected.

also either way they have biometric enhancements that kind of didn't get programmed right. they lose control of their body and mind when the equipment "glitches" so they require uno's help to keep it under control.

their code name is "duo" because of the above ^ but also because they can complete the work of two men in one day. only kowalski and uno know their real name (i also don't have a real name for them yet).

prefers to stick to a plan like kowalski, but unlike kowalski is more flexible when plans go sideways. ("you gotta be nonchalant because the second you start chalanting shit go left")

"it's so fucking over" on the inside, "we're so fucking back" on the outside.

divine hunt

guy who's clearly losing in a fistfight but talking shit like they're winning.

very composed, calm, and mature (they have to be since they work for the mayor) but easily annoyed by john doe. they pick fights with him a lot.

some kind of medium that's like?? an ambassador for the town between then mortals and spirits planning divine punishment.

or maybe they share a body with a divine or formerly divine spirit. that would be fun maybe.

always wants to help celeste and oliver however they can. john doe is on his own though fuck that guy (/lh)

little flowers or thunderclouds can be seen around their sprites depending on their mood.

the looping woods

uhhhh they know noah and omen somehow??? this game doesn't have much context behind it so i don't have much for this one sorry.

"kill me once, shame on me. kill me twice, how did you do that. kill me three times, this time loop fucking sucks."

they survive if noah survives and omen dies but die if noah dies and omen survives. or all three of them die. lol. lmao even. this one has potential for multiple endings but all of rachel's games so far have had multiple endings so we'll see!

yabai yatai

they specialize in water-based exorcisms!! learned how from their aunt, who married into the family (most of her family is exorcists).

they moved to japan when they were 18 to help with the spirits issue over there. their immediate family was told they were moving for university since they kept the whole exorcisms thing under wraps.

possibly the only person who can keep reiji's ego in check. they also sometimes feed into his ego on accident. oops.

calmer and more passive in general, but they won't hesitate to face an issue head-on if the situation calls for it.

literally they just grab shinko and go "this is my son now." he has no say in this by the way.

#i started cooking this post earlier this week but i got busy so it's been marinating in the drafts for a bit #also none of them have names yet. still thinking on that www #upcoming sigverse stuffs

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respirationalactress · 10 months

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Monday night/ cancer new moon/ at 4:30am my dog cried for the cold

A mental block I have RE starting a blog is - what if I have nothing to say? And I rarely do, in the way that I never write; but I always do, in the way that I'm always talking. But I want to be writing, and I've listened to like 5 episodes of This Jungian Life pod recently, so I'm making a dream analysis blog in the hopes that my nonconscious dream mind will prompt the things that my hyper-conscious writing mind is too stage-frightened to type. An aspirational writing practice.

I was on a camping trip with my family, and I went to the top of the hill, where there was a servo. A delivery boy, a teenager, drove up to me. He had a parcel for me, but he was confused by the name. He was reading the company name, Vevoke. I didn't really care about the package, it was something for my old workplace, but I thought the kid seemed nice, so I asked him to show me around the town, and he did. I asked, don't you have more deliveries to make? He shrugged, no, I only had two or three deliveries today, and I get paid by the hour so I may as well take a while.

I had a nice time driving around with him. I could tell he could tell I was queer, and I felt an affinity with him, like we both knew that if two gays could randomly find each other in front of a small town servo and drive around some streets together in the afternoon then... idk, anything would be possible etc. It was nice. I dropped him off near the servo and went back down the hill to where my family had set up camp. It turns out my brother knew the kid somehow.

This is bringing up for me a queering the map flavour of nostalgia. The kid in my dream wasn't anyone I know in real life, and it's not the first time I've created friends in my dream. Often I create people I crush hard on, but this time I had a more maternal, maybe even fraternal feeling towards him. It's interesting that the character was so specifically a teenager who could drive and had a job. These were things I wanted when I was young and living in a small town. In comparison, there is a very specific mention of my old job in the dream. I'd just had dinner with a friend from that job in the irl hours before the dream, and we were talking about our boss, a deeply repressed, deeply misogynistic, trenchantly evil older gay man. I remember once he shouted "FUCK THEM IN THE ARSE" in a meeting, after hearing we got a leg up on our competitors. As someone relatively new to arse-fucking at the time, I felt so angry that a gay man would evoke it as a kind of capitalistic, domineering... man thing. Now I feel sad for him. Maybe he really does think anal sex is so abhorrent; maybe he and his partner only treat each other like mates until the lights are off, until they're drunk?

I like that in my dream I wasn't needed as some wise person who could help the kid step into his queerness or figure anything out. Being gay was never even talked about. In fact, it was the kid who had something to give me, in the form of a parcel, which I didn't really care much for except for that it brought us both into a presence with each other, where the presence and normalcy of a tension free gay friendship is what was needed. I think about this in the context of the pressure I feel by my desires to mother a child, to let them grow up with the whole freedom of their own self. I think about this in the context of the anger I felt at my dog, crying at 4:30am in the cold, crying for the heat of a proximate body, not needing me to fix anything, just needing me.

I dream of a world where young gay kids only have a few things to do as they cruise around town, where they can run into other queers and not feel the shame drilled into them push fear and blood into their faces, push them away from remembering the world at the top of the hill, the world that their bodies promised them, which was always theirs, to make echoes, to befriend, to arse-fuck in........

P.S. We need to save Colleen Ballinger's brother's dancing child.......

P.P.S. God save my little brother, a sparkie who has always somehow known about the gayness.

#dreams #jung #gay friendship #pet dog #proximity

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cassynite · 1 year

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Sparrow and Woljif? 👀

Definitely never thought about this....never picked up the game hoping to romance Woljif to begin with...definitely didn't take one look at him, assumed he was a romance option, and was bitterly disappointed...

I think Sparrow and Woljif would work well together! Woljif is Sparrow's fastest and closest friend in her canon, and I can easily see it possibly growing into something romantic. The things that people usually deride Woljif for--his selfishness and his cowardice--are things that Sparrow accepts and understands about him and she never shows any particular judgment for his flaws or his criminal tendencies, which makes him warm up to her pretty fast.

Sparrow, of course, is keyed to the idea that all relationships are ephemeral and that people all leave eventually, so she's just grateful that Woljif doesn't pretend to be anything other than what he is--and she's never thought there was any shame in running from situations you can't fight. If he's a criminal, well, that means she's got steady supplies in a pinch. They both hate feeling trapped, and have a similar disdain for nobility and for the general status quo of the world they live in, though Woljif is far less interested in the underlying societal ills that Sparrow sees and focuses on and doesn't think it's worth putting effort into fixing it, and they end up spending a lot of time together.

Sparrow thinks that because Woljif has made it clear he'll leave that she doesn't have to worry about gaining false hope, and then gets upset when he runs away anyway, even if she's glad to hear he survived. And then of course he comes back! Which isn't really something Sparrow has ever had happen to her before and it means a lot more than she'd ever willingly say. I think they're both surprised at how loyal the other person ends up being; Woljif is always waiting for the knife in the back with people and learns that Sparrow is always going to be there to help him when he needs it.

I definitely think a romance between them would be very slow burn. Sparrow's not the kind of person who would be upfront about her emotions, especially ones that make her vulnerable like affection and attraction. But Woljif also just isn't the kind of guy to make the first move. There's a really good chance all they'd ever do is circle around each other as lifelong committed friends, afraid of taking the next step for fear of burdening the other person with feelings that could be unwanted or screwing up what they already have.

If anything did happen, it would almost definitely start after Act 4. Sparrow gives slightly different and more personal reasons for Woljif to reject his demonic heritage when Ygefeles is trying to break him down, drawing a lot on how much their bond has meant to her to show that Woljif doesn't need to be a demon to be worth something. If the feelings are there, and Sparrow is a little braver...she might draw on just how much she feels for him and turn her argument into a confession as well. Otherwise there'd need to be some kind of outside force or event that pushes them into confessing their feelings, because they'd never act on them otherwise.

Post-canon I feel like Sparrow would stay with Woljif in Kenabres more than Drezen, since that's his home, and help support his post-war charity efforts, as well as use her reputation to push specific litigation to help ensure rights and safety for tieflings in general. She'd be more focused on that work, as well as whatever businesses Woljif ended up sticking his fingers into.

#cassy answers #dmagedgoods #turbulentpumpkin43 #oc: sparrow #woljif jefto #i have and will continue to argue that the fact that he's not a canon romance option is a CRIME

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mylittleredgirl · 3 months

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dear space swap 🚀

Thank you in advance for writing for me! I love these fandoms and characters, and I’m very easy to please as a reader, so I hope you can write something you like and have fun. If my collected likes and prompts are helpful, please use them, but if you’re inspired by another idea or don’t feel like scrolling through this letter, please ditch all my requests and run with it. I love being surprised and look forward to seeing what you come up with.

*AU clarification: I don’t want alternate-setting (coffee-shop, law office, regency, etc) AUs, but I LOVE what-if canon divergence AUs of all sizes: fix-its, what if X episode ended differently, what if Y foundational thing didn't happen (e.g. “what if Agent Scully wasn’t assigned to debunk the X Files in the pilot episode, but she and Mulder met another way”), as long as they are still the same characters in the same canon universe.

Fandoms/pairings requested are below with some thoughts! Bullet points are potential prompt ideas. :)

🌃 Stargate Atlantis (John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir, Rodney McKay/John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir)

John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir: I like her to be alive! I am equally fine with fic set in seasons 1-3, fics where “that just didn't happen,” and AUs where Elizabeth comes back. In post-season 3 AUs I’m fine with “came back wrong” or suffering along the way as long as at her core she's Elizabeth and it ends in a hopeful or happy way. I also like pre-ship fics set early in the show where they're just figuring each other out!

John and the challenge of giving/receiving affection and Having A Feeling in general

A little off-world surprise (telepathy, alien bonding rituals, strange alien booze, you know) could do everyone some good

Fix-it, hurt/comfort, recovery fic of any kind really is so good with this pairing

John/Rodney/Elizabeth: John and Rodney both love her so so much in canon and are people who really don't know how to deal with or express that, and it makes me want to see all of them figure that mess out... or make it messier. They don't all three always have to be together, but it's really important to me that she's a full and loved participant in this dynamic (rather than being a guest or a ghost in a McShep fic).

5 Times rain brings them together (or keeps them apart)

Friends who AMTDI together often enough will probably (eventually) have to talk about it

They rescue Elizabeth, but they can't come home right away

👽 Stargate SG-1 (Clone Sam/Jack; original flavor Sam/Jack; Daniel/Janet)

Clone Sam/Jack: I love this ship when they’re still themselves, but now with some understandable existential angst and alienation from both their past and new lives. I love exploring the tension between what they have lost and this new life they have, and the challenges of navigating a relationship when they spent so long NOT being in a relationship.

One of them gets injured or is somehow in danger. That used to be normal, but now it feels different…

A field trip.

What happens after high school? At what point does this life start to feel like their own?

(DNW exception: I usually DNW unplanned pregnancy, but for mini!otp an unplanned pregnancy or pregnancy scare is fine.)

Daniel/Janet:

Janet survives and is healing from her injuries – how does her brush with death affect her, Daniel, and Cassie? (Especially given everything Daniel & Cassie have already been through?)

5 Times they fail to go out on a date… and (maybe) one time they succeed

Sam/Jack: Perhaps more than with any other pairing I requested, I looove the penny-dropping oh moment with these two (and the oh no that follows for several years afterward). Anything that plays with the unstoppable force (pining) vs immutable object (professional dedication) is also a delight.

I always love episode-related fic, but especially for them! Pick the most random episode you like from seasons 1-7 and do a missing scene/canon divergence. :)

5 Things they don't talk about

or maybe: 5 Things they don't talk about to anyone else...

🖖 Star Trek: Enterprise (Trip/T'Pol, Hoshi/Travis, Hoshi & Travis)

Trip/T’Pol: I love the way their love is raw and not easy -- they struggle to figure out how to be together, how to communicate, how to admit they need things and then accept the things they need! I also really, really want them to give each other comfort and joy. Surely they'll figure it out eventually, right? I'd enjoy anywhere along their journey, from pre-ship to a happy future.

T’Pol lets Trip help her in her ongoing recovery.

Interspecies complications! What’s it like to be on Earth or Vulcan as a couple? If they are able to have a child/children, how do they negotiate parenting?

How about that touch telepathy Vulcans have… 😏

Hoshi/Travis or Hoshi & Travis: They are so sweet in the tiny moments they have alone together, and anything you have to offer for them as friends or lovers would be fun!

How does he help her recover from her experience on the Xindi weapon?

Five times Hoshi and Travis were left alone (or left in command) on the bridge

If you want to write mirror Hoshi/Travis that would also rock! I would LOVE to know what's going on there!!

🛰 Babylon 5 (Char: Talia Winters, Talia Winters/Susan Ivanova/Michael Garibaldi, Talia Winters /& Lyta Alexander, Talia Winters /& Michael Garibaldi, Catherine Sakai/Jeffrey Sinclair)

These are a lot of pairing options, so here are few thoughts that aren’t really prompts but might inspire you!

I just really, really, really want Talia to be saved. It’s very important to me.

It seems like Lyta would be the most qualified, and Garibaldi and Ivanova would be the most motivated, so really any combination of people can be involved. If any of them want to hook up in the process in any combination, that’s also fine. :)

A fic that takes place after she’s saved off-screen will also work!! Anything from “wow everything hurts and all these people are very fucked up in many interesting ways” to “everything is fine now and we’re having breakfast in bed.”

Talia and Lyta: they have the same backstory of having briefly trained with the Psi Cops before moving on to being commercial telepaths – could they have known each other in some way when they were young?

Talia and Garibaldi: this was a ship that rewired my id as a teenager. I'm fascinated by the cosmic-sewing-circle idea in "Soul Mates" where Talia and Garibaldi (et. al.) may be tied together somehow in this life or in others...

Sinclair/Sakai are actually good and pure and it was finally right!! They should have had the chance to be happy!! (Note: I did read “To Dream in the City of Sorrows,” a long time ago, so if you have also read that and want to include that canon in a story including Sinclair, feel free! Or make your own way.)

DNW exception: unplanned pregnancy is ok in B5 (resulting in baby, miscarriage, other?). Psi Corps tortures its people in all kinds of ways, including reproductive control, and I'm fine going as dark as you want for Psi Corps stories (noncon, torture, etc is all built into canon) as long as our characters come out alive and there's a little comfort and a hopeful ending!

Thank you again for writing for me! 🚀

#fic exchange #dear author #space swap

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alwaysabeautifullife · 2 years

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Hello!

First off, thank you for your posts, they're usually very helpful!

Secondly, if it isn't too much, what do you mean about being in a constant state of fear for survival? I'm only asking because this is something we're considering, and it's hard to find any viewpoints that aren't about how off-grid living is perfect and will make your rustic dreams come true

Thanks, and happy holy Lent!

I grew up in the mountains of Idaho (off the grid) in a setting that could be considered ideal (mountain valley, perfect weather, lush and beautiful against a river). We did not have a toilet, but we did get water hosed from the mountain. In some years we had electricity, but not tv/internet. The last years I lived there we had a tv. My dad hunted regularly, and was absolutely excellent at it, eventually we all hunted and fished.

The mountains are not a place to grow food, winters are like 9 months, we had snow in august in most corners of our yard. We spent many summers picking berries for food/alcohol, and for selling. I know literally every single edible plant in Idaho. I don’t know that information because I was well fed and safe, it’s because I was surviving and in constant fear of what could come next. There were very few enjoyable moments because you must work 24/7 to survive. The moments you are eating are typically the moments that everyone can rest but is too exhausted to say anything.

There is always something broken to be fixed, something that must be done and your survival depends on it. As a child it’s a constant state of fear and uncertainty.

There’s a reason why human beings live in communities, it’s because they are necessary.

Also any small medical issue will bring you to a state of poverty beyond what you could ever imagine. Especially if it’s your children. In the event you are caring for chronically children, or are sick yourself, no one can preform the duties for survival, or someone gets all the duties. Often it’s the children. Children do not have time for play. They work. Work is the only play you know because it makes time pass until you eat again.

Living off the grid is a state of survival. It is not living. You are constantly preparing for the next disaster, or even just the disaster that is winter. You work because you starve in winter, and any minor inconvenience of weather effects your entire year and therefore several years. Life off the grid is just a series of domino effects you are preparing for before the next on.

Things in the modern world are necessary for living, like dental (majority of people have hereditary dental defects), mental and physical health. These things are not available in this lifestyle. Everyone believes when you’re off the grid you’ll be treating colds with bone broth, but in reality cancer and other life threatening illnesses are at random but more likely the more people you have in your home. I have watched my dad cut away gangrene with a knife, and pull his own teeth out. I watched my little brother suffer a medical condition that went untreated (it involved leaking fecal matter constantly), and instead feel shame because of the additional work it caused for everyone.

I think off the grid (or close to) is great, if you are single or a married couple with no children who has the luxury of a fall back plan if it fails or luxury of parents who would be there to help you when you change your mind. A lot of the people who make YouTube videos and stuff on living off the grid have financial fallbacks, and make income from YouTube so can commit to it full time with a steady stream of income on the side so both adults can work 24/7 at home (it’s too much for one adult so the children will begin to do majority of work in these cases). Other people that do it (outside the US) are living in actual communities, with greater support than even the common American.

#off the grid

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sunnys-rewatch-blog · 2 years

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S2, E7

"Surface Tension"

At what point did they stop assuming that "A" and "Ali's killer" were the same person? That was their original theory, as well as the logic that all of their red herrings have been based on. Now they're talking about it like it's a whole new idea. I'm not just losing my mind, this show is like the Twilight Zone.

I feel like they could have eaten the candy. At least it was free.

Oh, good, more Ezria drama. The writers truly have no concept what they're doing. I fucking hate this.

I love the look at Emily we get when she moves in with Hanna.

At this point, I am getting annoyed with the Montgomeries bothering their son. It's more artificial drama that gets us nowhere, I'm tired of watching Byron be a fucking hothead, and I don't know what they expect from him. Why do parents expect more of their kids than themselves? They're demanding their teenage son be present for their stupid dinner party but they haven't been to any of the events that matter to him in months. You don't get to barge into his room like that and demand whatever you want from him. You aren't entitled to it. To be clear, no one is ever entitled to that, but definitely not a man who cheated on his wife with one of his students and then made his daughter keep that secret and willingly stuck her in a very awkward situation with The Other Woman. Byron's behavior fucked up their family relations, he made Ella move out to get some space from him because he was so conceited he thought his kids needed him around- didn't even consider that maybe the kids needed space from him, too, he thought staying in that house was going to fix all their problems, and now that they decide they're ready to "go back to normal" he's just supposed to go along with it. Important to note that they did not, at any point, take Mike to a counselor to help him process this trauma. His anger with both of them is completely justified. Sorry he isn't communicating and resolving it like a well-educated adult, that might be because he's...what, like 14 at most? And his parents couldn't communicate if the skills bit them in the ass.

Why did Ella invite Jason to dinner? Like, I thought this dinner party had something to do with the Hollis faculty. I would think you could better serve the "human companionship" angle by just inviting him to a standard family dinner.

Okay, I can't hold back on this anymore- Hanna is hella ADHD-coded. My neuroscope is reading her off the charts. I remember having come to that conclusion before but couldn't remember way. Watching her read a magazine, jump up and down on the bed, and sing to music that's playing so loud she can't even hear herself think is probably it.

Okay, Big Brain Time- was Emily into field hockey? "Boys don't play field hockey-" she's wearing a white (???) top in this flashback, I think...so it's impossible to date it...either way, if she was interested in someone who played field hockey it would be more confirmation that she's wlw. Then again, Ian was the field hockey coach. It might not be an implication of anything except that Ian chose an occupation that allowed him to get much too close to girls who are much too young- as chronophiles often do.

To be honest, I really like how respectful Emily is of the differences between herself and Hanna. Like, she doesn't shame her or try to change her or tell her it's the wrong way to study ("you can't possibly learn like that"). She just says "Well, this works for you but not for me" and makes accommodations for herself because they both deserve to be able to learn how they learn. If more people were like that, the world would be a better, safer place for some of us. She doesn't need an excuse or diagnosis to accept that someone is different from her.

For a show called "Pretty Little Liars," these characters are stupid honest sometimes. Why would Toby admit to Peter Hastings that he already told Spencer about the hockey stick?! Just say "Okay" and walk away!!! Go tell Spencer to pretend she's none the wiser! This man is officially your employer! Not to mention he's your girlfriend's dad! Ugh, this makes me want to scream. I could just tear my hear out.

The way this dinner party went really epitomizes everything I hate about Aria's storylines. Ezria and all of its related drama feels completely disconnected from everything else, and none of her family members feel like characters who are important enough to be having all of these arcs. All of Aria's character development ends up getting handed over to the satellite characters; she seems to be used more like a vehicle through which we can watch The Montgomery Family Drama. Kinda like how Bella Swan was an under-developed vehicle into the supernatural communities of Forks, Washington, only this is even more tedious and boring. Mike doesn't even sparkle.

Was Aria still planning to go public with her relationship after they got a visit from the cops? Was Ezra still expecting that? Because he seems shocked that Aria would ask him to leave, right now. I would have assumed the party was over when both the hosts left. I would at least have been asking if I should go. I definitely wouldn't have just sat there waiting to tell the Montgomeries that I, a grown-ass man, am dating their 16-year-old daughter right after they get back from picking up their son at the police station. Then again, I wouldn't be dating a 16-year-old at my age.

Really though, was finding out Mike stole Jenna's vase the only reason she decided to send them home so that her family could have some privacy to deal with this?

Caleb isn't doing anything illegal by helping people with their cell phone tech. I barely understand why it's sketchy. If he marketed himself in a more conventional way, he could call himself a freelancer, entrepreneur, cell phone technician. What his clients do with the tech is on them.

Can I put Peter Hastings in the fucking fireplace? I want to light his ass on fire.

Stoooooop it!! I don't care that Ashley Marin could give Blanche Devereaux a run for her money or that she couldn't make a good decision unless everyone else makes it for her! I don't care about this teaser romance between parents! Someone needs to tell these showrunners that just because these characters are part of the protagonists' life doesn't mean they're relevant enough for me to give a shit about their stupid fucking relationship drama! I really liked Ashley's role in the first season, if nothing else it at least added intrigue. I was invested. It became a significant aspect of the plot and broke off into scenes that characterized Hanna. This shit with Tom does none of that. From what I understand, he just left them for some unspecified length of time- he's a pretty terrible person, leaving a woman he married and a child he fathered in such dire financial straits and not even contributing to some child support, then trying to use his daughter as an excuse to be around his ex, even after he turned her away from that dinner. I don't get a sense that he has any special affection for either of them. It reads like he wants to be around Ashley because his other relationship is strained. Ashley went from being an interesting and sympathetic character to being almost intolerable to have on-screen. This woman has all the personal strength of a square of toilet paper submerged in a lake. A good decision could bite her in the ass and she still wouldn't make it.

#anti ezria #pretty little liars #ezria #emily fields #alison dilaurentis #aria montgomery #hannah marin #spencer hastings #peter hastings #hastings family #ashley marin #toby cavanaugh #jenna marshall #tom #jason dilaurentis #ella montgomery #byron montgomery #mike montgomery #bella swan

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toe-ruoikawa · 3 years

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prev masterlist next

summer loving- an oikawa x reader smau/classic fanfic ABANDONNED

3. The Diner

(y/n) runs - or, well, bikes - to the miyagi prefecture during summer break to escape her stifling family. while she's out in miyagi, she meets a cute boy named oikawa tooru.

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yeah, you loved suga's mom probably more than your own, but without suga there to actually create a bridge between the two of you, your conversations were dull and awkward, and you had left the house as soon as you thought she wouldn't mind.

for a few hours you had gone around the town, taking pictures of whatever seemed pretty to you. you had taken at least 50 by the time afternoon rolled around. that's kind of your thing; photos.

your camera roll was full of gorgeous landscapes-rolling hills and swaying trees, gigantic buildings and fluffy clouds, delicate flowers and creeping vines. it was a shame that you had lost some of your best shots when you had gotten rid of your old phone, but at least now you have a clean slate to fill all over again.

you're just finishing up a mini shoot of some train tracks when it hits you.

the single most delicious smell in the entire world hits your nose, and you almost black out it's so wonderful. it smells like frying oil and ice cream, and you almost cackle in glee because you had brought money for food and you just found the best place to spend it.

following your nose like a bloodhound, you start to walk past all the cute little buildings that had served as background for your railroad pictures. the smell keeps getting stronger, mixing and dividing into similar, more specific scents, like french fries and fried chicken. you feel your artist heart squeal with excitement as you round the corner on the block and find yourself in front of a cute American-themed diner.

the name of the restaurant is written over the door in fluorescent green lights, and there are similar signs hung in the windows of the diner. as the sky gradually darkens, you can tell that this is your photographer paradise. the booths in the diner are bustling with people who you swear are all smiling, and there's a bar where a few loners and couples sip at their extra thick milkshakes, with the overflow cup on the side. you haven't even set foot in the building and you could bet away your life's savings that the floors are checker tiled.

"ah," you don't even realize you've gone into the diner until the bell at the door jingles above your head, and you just gaze at it in dreamy shock. your feet are pulled to a red leather stool at the counter where you sit and swivel around a few times.

"what can i get to get you started?"

you swear you almost die when you see the outfit the waitress is wearing. the entire retro vibe of the restaurant has your artist heart weeping tears of bliss and the uniforms are just icing on the cake.

you order your favourite flavour of milkshake and a side of fries and then glance at your phone to see what you've missed from suga.

you don't really ever understand most of his vague volleyball tweets. from what you can gather, the team is a bunch of hooligan children that suga babysits, with the help of daichi, who you only know through suga's texts.

seeing as you don't even want to know what watermelon and hills have to do with volleyball camp, your thoughts drift to your other best friend, aki. you had blocked her with your new twitter account so there would be no chance of her stumbling across it, but you couldn't help but feel a wave of guilt as you look at her account. she's probably the closest thing you have to a sister, which is why you had to leave her behind, too.

sisters are lovely but they're also snitches.

you put your phone face down as the waitress from earlier reappears, setting down a plastic basket full of fries and a milkshake, as well as a large metal cup filled with refill milkshake. ah, the glory of retro american diners. you're about to dig in when the bell rings and you hear laughter from someone your age.

the idea that it could be someone that recognizes you jumps into your head and you spin around in your swivel stool so quickly that you almost launch yourself off of it. in your commotion your eyes lock onto the warmest brown eyes you’ve seen in your entire life and you swear time slows.

they belong to a cute brunette, who has come to the diner with a group of friends. he is quick to look away, playing it off like he had been glancing around the restaurant. he waves to the waitress, who smiles bashfully, and follows his friends to a booth table that you know by the way they are drawn to it is undeniable their booth.

the boy with the warm eyes does another sweep over the diner as his group settles down, and as the chocolate irises linger on you, you realize that you’ve been staring at him the whole time.

flustered and feeling heat rise to your face, you jerk yourself back around in the seat so you’re facing your meal and take a long sip of your milkshake. ignoring the sting in your skull from the sudden cold, you flip your phone around and quickly open your texts.

taking a deep breath and steeling yourself for the embarrassment you’re about to undergo willingly, you turn around in your swivel stool.

much to your bewilderment, the boy is already staring at you.

he waves at you and you freeze for a moment, taking in his dark hair and his huge, intelligent brown eyes that are gazing right back into yours, and then you offer him a small smile and meek wave of your own hand. the lazy smile that had stretched across his face brightens in return.

instead of earlier when he had entered the diner, now the boy seems content to keep eye contact with you, and, with each quickened beat of your heart, you feel yourself becoming more and more comfortable with his gaze in yours.

you almost start to daydream when one of his buddies elbows him, clearly jiving him by the way the other boys are laughing. he turns his attention to them exclaiming something you don’t hear that makes the booth burst out into raucous teenage guffaws.

coming to your senses, you’re certain your face must match the shade of red on the ketchup bottle that you clumsily dump on your fries. you shoot suga a few more texts, stuffing a handful of fries in your mouth to keep yourself from squealing.

the mere idea that this beautiful and pretty boy might even consider to be interested in you has your heart melting in purpley yellow puddles of pure simp essence and your brain turning into honey. you find yourself slurping down the rest of your milkshake in an attempt to beat back the steady blush that burns on the apples of your cheeks and the tips of your ears.

sadly, whenever you turn to look back at the booth the boys are eating in, he never has his attention turned on you. you know there’s a chance that you’re just not catching him at the right moments, but as his laughter continues fills the space throughout the evening, your certainty that your shared gaze was a one time occurrence grows.

eventually, disheartened and a tad embarrassed, you give up on trying to catch the boy’s attention again. you pay for your meal before going to the washroom.

when you return, the group had left. disappointed in yourself, you’re trudging over to the door when you notice a turquoise and white jacket laying in the seat of the booth.

“excuse me, but the group that was sitting here earlier just left, right?” you call out to the waitress that had served both you and the group.

“huh?” the waitress looks up from the table she’s wiping down. “oh, yeah. they’re gone. did matsukawa leave his jacket again?”

“yeah, i guess,” you shrug. an idea pops into your romance driven brain, and for once you don’t wave it away immediately. “if you don’t mind, i could run it out to him. i’m leaving anyways.”

“that’d be a big help, sweetie, thank you!” the waitress graciously accepts your offer and then turns back to the table she’s cleaning.

you’re exiting the diner with a ring of the bell overhead, turquoise and white track jacket in hand with the words ‘aoba johsai’ printed on the back, when you stumble into a wall of warm fabric.

“woah there!” the voice you’ve been tuned to for the past hour replies, and the cute boy’s grabbing your shoulders gently to steady you. you gaze up into the calf’s eyes that you had been so fixated earlier, and they focus back on you for a brief moment, before trailing to the jacket in your arms. “oh, look! you’ve got mattsun’s jacket.”

“oh, yeah, here,” you hand the boy the jacket, only now realizing how much he towers over you in such close proximity. despite how that thought makes your heart race, you jump at the chance to get to know the boy a bit more. “so you’re not matsukawa, then?”

he laughs, not unpolitely, throwing his head back the slightest bit. “no, i’m oikawa tooru.” he fixes you with a sunny smile, like you’ve surprised him in the best way possible, and it’s like you’ve never realized how gorgeous a smile could be.

“(l/n), (y/n),” you grin back. “so oikawa-san, what’re doing here coming back for a jacket that’s not even yours?” on the inside, you’re practically screaming; when did you become so bold?

“well,” his grin turns sheepish. “i meant to ask you for your number earlier but iwa-chan kept breaking my train of thought, so i figured i could try again now.”

“oh, thank god you’re asking,” you let a sigh of relief as you pull out your phone. “i wanted to ask you earlier, too, but i chickened out.”

the two of you exchange phones and enter your numbers in a new contact, while oikawa makes a little joke about your default wallpaper, which you laugh a little too hard at.

“let’s go out sometime this week!” oikawa says as his words of parting, and you hum in agreement, waving goodbye.

once you’re far away enough from oikawa, you check your phone as if making sure the contact is real. you giggle once you realize what he’s put as his name. maybe this summer won't be so bad after all.

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flowerslightning · 4 years

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(Part 2) Cloud Strife and his Mental Illness

a.k.a Psychiatric Disorder

| 1. Memory | ⇦ Click if u havent read it yet

2. Hallucinations, Illusions and Delusions

Since these three things relate well with Cloud's troubled memories, I'll be talking about them first before jumping to his Confused Personality

This post will bore u a bit or maybe a lot 😂 it depends. If ure interested with psychiatric stuff, u'll find this enjoyable as much as i do

Disclaimer : I'm 21 and still a tiny meany student. During my intern at Psychiatric Department, I learned and witnessed psychiatric problems from real life patients. And since Cloud (my fav FF character) has psychiatric issues, I'll be sharing some of my knowledge and interpretation of Cloud's character. Im not diagnosing him, rather i'm giving my own opinion about his status

@nibelheiim created a post about dissociation, she explained about hallucination, PTSD and more. Come and check her out! Her words were more direct and easier to understand. She explained about Psychological matter and she's a real psychology student too!

While my explanation will be more focusing on Psychiatric Topic and words used will be more complicated (with grammar errors). My facts will be based on ICD 10 and DSM-IV

A lot of people were confused with these three terms - Hallucination Illusion Delusion - These terms associated with abnormalities of perception. It is important to understand that this abnormality holds two keys; ● 1. Perception is the process of becoming aware of what is presented through the sense organs. ● 2. Imagery is an experience originating within the mind that usually lacks the sense of reality that is part of perception.

Abnormalities of perceptions have 4 theme, but I'll be focusing on two major types that relate with Cloud: (i) Hallucinations ; (ii) Illusions. Some cases, perception can be normal in intensity and quality but has a changed meaning for the person who experiences it - it is called as Delusional Perception. It is not an abnormal of perceptions, rather it is a disorder of a person's thinking.

Try guessing, how many from these terms does Cloud has?

1. Hallucinations

- A perception experienced in the absence of external stimulus to the corresponding sense organ. Eg - patient hears a voice when no one is speaking within a hearing distance or patient sees something approaching him when visually no one is there. There are 2 qualities to determine a hallucination: ●it is experienced as a true perception●it seems to come from outside of the head●

The above gif, where Sephiroth suddenly appear again before Cloud's eyes even able to touch Aerith's shoulder, it illustrate perfectly the 'Visual Hallucination'. No one can see Sephiroth, other than Cloud himself.

Cloud [Remake] kinda had anxiety when he stared at the fire and later he saw Sephiroth surrounded with flames, then poof, that silver guy disappeared along with the images of fire. He said he was hallucinating stuff after the first bombing mission. Idk how Sephiroth could create fake images of fire around him, either Cloud was really hallucinating or it was really Sephiroth that came to see him. But, this is what we call as 'Visual and Auditory Hallucinations'. Cloud SAW Sephiroth and HEARD him talking when no one else did. I can also add in 'Tactile Hallucination' because he probably felt the burning sensation on his skin from the flame around him that caused him to feel hot and sweating, or probably it was his anxiety that caused him sweating upon meeting Sephiroth with the flashback of his burning hometown

Hallucinations can occur in all sensory modalities; visual, olfactory, auditory etc. In the Remake, the Whispers could only be seen by certain people. To those who couldnt see it, they would be puzzled what was happening to u, and would've thought that u were hallucinating something, like in the case of Aerith.

In Cloud's case, perhaps Cloud [In OG] had auditory hallucination due to his severe case of Mako Addiction. But then, that wasnt exactly a hallucination though, cuz the thing he said "'Coming.. They're coming" was actually true. A monster fell from the sky.

Other 'hallucinations' that Cloud had was the images of Sephiroth that appeared in certain headache. Cloud may claimed it was his hallucinations, but i've read it somewhere that says it was really Sephiroth appeared before his eyes. Sephiroth was messing with Cloud's mind, trying to break his mental in order to control him. However, IF IT WASNT SEPHIROTH that came, Cloud's 'hallucination' would be known as a mental disorder that may lead to severe case - eg Schizophrenia.

2. Illusions

An illusion is a misperception of an external stimulus. It often occur in several circumstances: (i)level of sensory stimulation reduced (ii)attention is not focused on the sensory modality (iii)level of consciousness reduced (iv)being in a state of intense emotion- fear.

Does Cloud has it? Urm, maybe? Well, it can be proven when he saw his 'noisy neighbour next door' as Sephiroth. As stated above, illusions occur in 4 conditions, and Cloud was in number (i) and (iv). When Tifa yelled him to stop, Cloud came back to reality and got really confused when the 'Sephiroth' that attacked him was actually a sick guy. We can also add in 'Hallucinations of Deep sensation' in this scenario bcause Cloud experienced the feelings of being pushed down by 'Sephiroth'.

However, we all know that 'Sephiroth' was real at that moment. For Cloud, he thought it was an illusion, but for us the audience, it was a real thing.

If u want a better explanation and example, try watching Joker the movie. The main theme of the movie was 'mental illness'. There are lots of scenes that shows different type of hallucinations, illusions and also personality disorder.

3. Delusions

a.k.a fixed false belief. A belief that is held firmly despite evidence contrary. A delusion is nearly always a false belief but not always so. There are around 11 types of delusions according to the book. Half of it may suggest Shcizophrenia. Schizophrenia is certainly not in Cloud's case. I've studied one by one the type of delusions and none of them match with Cloud FF7.

I will surely give anyone a good punch in the face if they dare to say Cloud suffers from Schizophrenia. I've met with bunch of patients having it, and the way they see this world is totally different from us.

In some other cases, eg a spiritualist convince a person to believe in his spiritualism and he present with contrary evidence to the non-believer. This non-delusional belief is called 'overvalued ideas'

Overvalued ideas is an isolated , preoccupying and strongly held belief that dominates a person's life and may affect his action. One of the easiest example i can come up with; a friend who had skin cancer may be convinced to her roomate that cancer is contagious, and her roomate suspects any abnormal skin conditions she has is an evidence to show she too, may have developed the same cancer, when the truth is, she's just completely fine.

It is very hard to distinguish between a delusion and overvalued ideas.

I had a patient, he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. He looked like an ordinary man, but when he talked, it sounded so unreal. He said he had jumped off from 10th floor several times and didnt get a scratch from it. He believed he wont die bcause he had gained super power. He even convinced me to try his 'so-called-secret technique- on how to survive a jump. By doing that often, I will have a superpower like him - a strong physical body. Up until now, I still dont know if he was being deluded with his thought or he was overvalued his idea, bcause from his psychiatric record, he did try to jump off from the second floor of his apartment's balcony a few times.

So, Im not really sure of myself did Cloud [FF7] really had delusion or not. Well, he believed he made it to SOLDIER bcause he had mako eyes. But was it something we called as delusion or was he just overvaluing his idea? He didnt know the truth and his memory messed up. No one could explain to him why he had Mako eyes, except Prof Hojo and Zack who knew the truth

Besides, after Tifa helped with his memory, Cloud accepted the fact he wasnt in SOLDIER. For patient who deluded with their own thoughts, they hardly could believe what people told him.

However, surely Cloud [in AC] had delusions of guilt and worthlessness due to the fact that he believed he had done something shameful and sinful - the main trigger of this theme was, he got infected with Geostigma while he was searching a cure for Denzel. Cloud got depressed with the loss of Aerith and the memory of Zack death had returned, but I think he was recovering very well in that two years time skip. The moment he got Geostigma, he became deluded he was worthless and his depression kicked in again.

Hallucinations and Illusions are normal to be experienced by healthy people, but it wont be if u encounter too many hallucinations & illusions in 2 weeks time. Believe it or not, a lot of people around us are actually mentally ill bcause some of them may have excessive certain delusions, such as delusions of jealousy, grandiose delusions, nihilistic, paranoid etc. Although 'it is consider as normal' in a few circumstance, a few cases need to refer to psychologist and in severer cases, must refer to psychiatrist. If u follow Dr Phil's show, u'll see a bunch of patients have different kind of crazy delusions.

Overall from my statement above, I would conclude that since Sephiroth always appear before Cloud's eyes, this resulting Cloud to think he has both Hallucination and Illusion, when in fact, he's just a normal guy with amnesia and personality confusion. Cloud doesnt have Delusion like how many fans said, neither he has an overvalued idea, even with the evidence of Mako eyes supporting his reasoning + he's a great fighter. I will have to say that perhaps it is his brain defence mechanism that tricks his mind to believe he is a Soldier.

If only Sephiroth stop disturbing Cloud's life, it will be a lot faster to fix Cloud. Tifa alone will be the main strength to get Cloud back to normal. Ah, but this is the beauty of the game. Life wont be exciting without the presence of a beautiful villain and a love triangle (Tifa-Cloud-Sephiroth). Lol Technically I see them trying to fight for Cloud's mental health. Tifa wants to help Cloud with his mental status while Sephiroth is trying to destroy it. Lolololol

My crack theory : Sephiroth says he's going to take Cloud's most precious thing, and he ends up choosing to kill Aerith, but ofc there's another reason why Aerith got killed. But if Sephiroth kills Tifa first, I think he can take over Cloud's mind faster, because then, no one will be holding Cloud back. Honestly no one can ever will, not even Aerith. So does that mean Sephiroth doesnt know about Cloud's deepest secret or is Cloud just good at hiding his weakness?

I WILL UPDATE THE NEXT POST LATER because I've reached tumblr limit images agaiiin. The next part will be focusing about his personality - Personality Disorder

If there is any part that I've mistaken, pls correct me. I'm sorry for my english. English is not my native language, so there are plenty of grammar errors.

#final fantasy 7 #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 remake #final fantasy gif #ff7r #mygif #ff7r spoilers #cloud ff7 #cloud strife gif #sephiroth gif #final fantasy sephiroth #character analysis #psychology #psychiatric disorders #cloud strife #aerith gainsborough

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welcometothebookreport · 3 years

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Top 10 Books of 2020!

My goal was to try reading 100 books in 2020. That more than happened—thanks for being so weird 2020—but then narrowing that list down to favorites was another story! It was surprisingly not as hard as I expected to think of a book to fill the first, second, and tenth slots… everything in the middle was more of a challenge. Here’s an attempt at a cohesive list of favorites!

10. Curvy Girls Can’t Date Best Friends by, Kelsie Stelting

Summary: It was all fake dating and games until my heart got involved… I wanted to have the best summer ever. To have my first kiss and finally get my brother’s best friend to notice me. So I talked my best friend Carson into helping. He’d do anything for me, and I’d do the same for him. But somewhere between fake dating and pretending to fall in love with him, I fell for real. And it was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. In the last four books of The Curvy Girl Club, Carson and Callie have stayed best friends. Now it’s time for a love story all their own. Start reading Curvy Girls Can’t Date Best Friends today for a story sweeter and more delicious than honey!

Rating (out of 7): 6

Warnings: Depictions and mentions of both child abuse and domestic abuse; fat shaming

Thoughts: It’s best friends. It’s pining. It’s fake dating when they both discover the feels are real--and maybe, perhaps--have been there all along. This is tender, thoughtful, caring, funny. There is forgiveness from old enemies; a reconciling between old friends. My only minor complaint would be the pacing felt rushed after a certain point, leading up to the climax. THe resolution was beautiful, though, and I thoroughly enjoyed this book!

9. Dream Lake: A Friday Harbor Novel by, Lisa Kleypas

Summary: In New York Times bestselling author Lisa Kleypas's Dream Lake, readers well enter the world of Friday Harbor, an enchanting town in the Pacific Northwest where things are not quite as they seem and where true love might just have a ghost of a chance...They say that opposites attract. But what happens when one of them has been devastated by betrayal and the other is so damaged and jaded that his heart is made of stone? Alex Nolan is about as bitter and cynical as they come. One of three Nolan brothers who call Friday Harbor home, he's nothing like Sam or Mark. They actually believe in love; they think the risk of pain is worth the chance of happiness. But Alex battles his demons with the help of a whiskey bottle, and he lives in his own private hell. And then, a ghost shows up. Only Alex can see him. Has Alex finally crossed over the threshold to insanity? Zoë Hoffman is as gentle and romantic as they come. When she meets the startlingly gorgeous Alex Nolan, all her instincts tell her to run. Even Alex tells her to run. But something in him calls to Zoë, and she forces him to take a look at his life with a clear eye and to open his mind to the possibility that love isn't for the foolish. The ghost has been existing in the half-light of this world for decades. He doesn't know who he is, or why he is stuck in the Nolans' Victorian house. All he knows is that he loved a girl once. And Alex and Zoë hold the key to unlocking a mystery that keeps him trapped here. Zoë and Alex are oil and water, fire and ice, sunshine and shadow. But sometimes it takes only a glimmer of light to chase away the dark, and sometimes love can reach beyond time, space, and reason to take hold of hearts that yearn for it…

Rating (out of 7): 6.5

Warnings: alcoholism, divorce, afterlife, spirituality, sexual content, aging (dementia)

Thoughts: I have become a huge Lisa Kleypas fan this year. Her characters are endearing and gripping. This story is emotive, compassionate, caring, and thoughtful in its pursuit of telling two love stories. One that reaches beyond life and death, the other determined to overcome any and all obstacles. The pining, family, togetherness, support, and depth in this story is everything I could have asked for and more.

8. An Ember in the Ashes by, Sabaa Tahir

Summary: Laia is a slave. Elias is a soldier. Neither is free. Under the Martial Empire, defiance is met with death. Those who do not vow their blood and bodies to the Emperor risk the execution of their loved ones and the destruction of all they hold dear.��It is in this brutal world, inspired by ancient Rome, that Laia lives with her grandparents and older brother. The family ekes out an existence in the Empire’s impoverished backstreets. They do not challenge the Empire. They’ve seen what happens to those who do. But when Laia’s brother is arrested for treason, Laia is forced to make a decision. In exchange for help from rebels who promise to rescue her brother, she will risk her life to spy for them from within the Empire’s greatest military academy. There, Laia meets Elias, the school’s finest soldier—and secretly, its most unwilling. Elias wants only to be free of the tyranny he’s being trained to enforce. He and Laia will soon realize that their destinies are intertwined—and that their choices will change the fate of the Empire itself.

Rating (out of 7): 7

Warnings: depictions of graphic violence, slavery, mention of brothels, arena style fight-to-the-death scenes, war,

Thoughts: Harrowing, gripping, haunting, inspiring, compelling. An incredible beginning to an amazing series. The love story is a single, red line that weaves between the characters individual stories, twining them in undeniable ways. It was perfect from beginning to end.

7. A Vow So Bold and Deadly by, Brigid Kemmerer

Summary: Fall in love, break the curse. It once seemed so easy to Prince Rhen, the heir to Emberfall. Cursed by a powerful enchantress to repeat the autumn of his eighteenth year over and over, he knew he could be saved if a girl fell for him. But that was before he learned that at the end of each autumn, he would turn into a vicious beast hell-bent on destruction. That was before he destroyed his castle, his family, and every last shred of hope. Nothing has ever been easy for Harper. With her father long gone, her mother dying, and her brother barely holding their family together while constantly underestimating her because of her cerebral palsy, she learned to be tough enough to survive. But when she tries to save someone else on the streets of Washington, DC, she's instead somehow sucked into Rhen's cursed world. Break the curse, save the kingdom. A prince? A monster? A curse? Harper doesn't know where she is or what to believe. But as she spends time with Rhen in this enchanted land, she begins to understand what's at stake. And as Rhen realizes Harper is not just another girl to charm, his hope comes flooding back. But powerful forces are standing against Emberfall . . . and it will take more than a broken curse to save Harper, Rhen, and his people from utter ruin.

Rating (out of 7): 7

Warnings: mentions and depictions of blood, violence, fight scenes,

Thoughts: This is the book that had me diving head first into the pool of all books Brigid Kemmerer. Her style is efficient, clear, vivid, transportive, and emotive. She knows her characters, and has a way of making me feel connected to them. I empathize with them, even when they’re being stupid. She humanizes everyone she writes. Her pacing is perfection. This book is my favorite retelling of Beauty and the Beast out there.

6. Defy the Stars by, Claudia Gray

Summary: She's a soldier--Noemi Vidal is willing to risk anything to protect her planet, Genesis, including her own life. To their enemies on Earth, she's a rebel. He's a machine--Abandoned in space for years, utterly alone, Abel's advanced programming has begun to evolve. He wants only to protect his creator, and to be free. To the people of Genesis, he's an abomination. Noemi and Abel are enemies in an interstellar war, forced by chance to work together as they embark on a daring journey through the stars. Their efforts would end the fighting for good, but they're not without sacrifice. The stakes are even higher than either of them first realized, and the more time they spend together, the more they're forced to question everything they'd been taught was true. An epic and romantic adventure, perfect for fans of The Lunar Chronicles and Illuminae.

Rating (out of 7): 7

Warnings: depictions of space warfare, AI, spirituality and other religious themes explored.

Thoughts: Claudia Gray is one of my favorite authors. She is bold and fearless in her themes. Her characters slay me. Their love story is subtle, yet immediately gripping. She’s transformative. There is a heart and depth explored in this story that moved me to tears multiple times throughout the book.

5. Call It What You Want by, Brigid Kemmerer

Summary: New York Times bestselling author Brigid Kemmerer pens a new emotionally compelling story about two teens struggling in the space between right and wrong. When his dad is caught embezzling funds from half the town, Rob goes from popular lacrosse player to social pariah. Even worse, his father's failed suicide attempt leaves Rob and his mother responsible for his care. Everyone thinks of Maegan as a typical overachiever, but she has a secret of her own after the pressure got to her last year. And when her sister comes home from college pregnant, keeping it from her parents might be more than she can handle. When Rob and Maegan are paired together for a calculus project, they're both reluctant to let anyone through the walls they've built. But when Maegan learns of Rob's plan to fix the damage caused by his father, it could ruin more than their fragile new friendship... In her compulsively readable storytelling, Brigid Kemmerer pens another captivating, heartfelt novel that asks the question: Is it okay to do something wrong for the right reasons?

Rating (out of 7): 7

Warnings: mentions of previously attempted suicide, theft, mention of past standardized test cheating, mention of professor-student consensual relations (the student is 18), discussion of abortion vs. single motherhood

Thoughts: EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS BOOK!!! Whether I agree with all the characters and their opinions and decisions by the end of this book or not, I understand them. I have come through this story with them, and I understand them. I respect them. I cheer for them. I would die for them. The humanity and compassion woven into this story. The many threads and pieces that weave and wind together to make it so beautiful. I repeat: everyone should read this book.

4. Black Rednecks and White Liberals by, Thomas Sowell

Summary: This explosive new book challenges many of the long-prevailing assumptions about blacks, about Jews, about Germans, about slavery, and about education. Plainly written, powerfully reasoned, and backed with a startling array of documented facts, Black Rednecks and White Liberals takes on not only the trendy intellectuals of our times but also such historic interpreters of American life as Alexis de Tocqueville and Frederick Law Olmsted. In a series of long essays, this book presents an in-depth look at key beliefs behind many mistaken and dangerous actions, policies, and trends. It presents eye-opening insights into the historical development of the ghetto culture that is today wrongly seen as a unique black identity--a culture cheered on toward self-destruction by white liberals who consider themselves "friends" of blacks. An essay titled "The Real History of Slavery" presents a jolting re-examination of that tragic institution and the narrow and distorted way it is too often seen today. The reasons for the venomous hatred of Jews, and of other groups like them in countries around the world, are explored in an essay that asks, "Are Jews Generic?" Misconceptions of German history in general, and of the Nazi era in particular, are also re-examined. So too are the inspiring achievements and painful tragedies of black education in the United States. "Black Rednecks and White Liberals" is the capstone of decades of outstanding research and writing on racial and cultural issues by Thomas Sowell.

Rating (out of 100): 100

Warnings: come to it with an open mind and ready to be challenged and think

Thoughts: The definition of economy is: the wealth and resources of a country or region, especially in terms of the production and consumption of goods and services. An economist is an expert in economy. For this reason, I don’t much care to read books written by economists. They tend to come across as superior and smug in their dissemination of facts. This was not the case with Thomas Sowell. Thomas Sowell has this “tell it like it is” way in which he tackles his topics. He follow facts, studies, statistics, public records, and is unapologetic in his delivery. He is a leader among men. His essays were thought-provoking, challenging, insightful, and, best of all, easily understood. He writes with authority, but without condescension. He writes as one who wants to help anyone with a desire to learn. I cannot wait to read more of him this coming year!

3. Theater of War: What Ancient Tragedies Can Teach Us Today by, Bryan Doerries (audiobook read by, Adam Driver)

Summary: This is the personal and deeply passionate story of a life devoted to reclaiming the timeless power of an ancient artistic tradition to comfort the afflicted. For years, theater director Bryan Doerries has led an innovative public health project that produces ancient tragedies for current and returned soldiers, addicts, tornado and hurricane survivors, and a wide range of other at-risk people in society. The originality and generosity of Doerries’s work is startling, and The Theater of War—wholly unsentimental, but intensely felt and emotionally engaging—is a humane, knowledgeable, and accessible book that will both inspire and enlighten. Tracing a path that links the personal to the artistic to the social and back again, Doerries shows us how suffering and healing are part of a timeless process in which dialogue and empathy are inextricably linked.

Rating (out of 7): 7

Warnings: recounting of death, war, and other tragic life circumstances

Thoughts: Buy the audiobook! The visceral heart and soul in the story is even more felt in the compelling reading of Adam Driver. There was pain, but there was healing. Tragedy haunts the world; it haunts each and every one of us in different ways. Stories of how others, real and fictional, deal with their hardships is helpful in dealing with our own, and finding a path forward.

2. A Sky Beyond the Storm by, Sabaa Tahir.

Summary: Picking up just a few months after A Reaper at the Gates left off... The long-imprisoned jinn are on the attack, wreaking bloody havoc in villages and cities alike. But for the Nightbringer, vengeance on his human foes is just the beginning. By his side, Commandant Keris Veturia declares herself Empress, and calls for the heads of any and all who defy her rule. At the top of the list? The Blood Shrike and her remaining family. Laia of Serra, now allied with the Blood Shrike, struggles to recover from the loss of the two people most important to her. Determined to stop the approaching apocalypse, she throws herself into the destruction of the Nightbringer. In the process, she awakens an ancient power that could lead her to victory--or to an unimaginable doom. And deep in the Waiting Place, the Soul Catcher seeks only to forget the life--and love--he left behind. Yet doing so means ignoring the trail of murder left by the Nightbringer and his jinn. To uphold his oath and protect the human world from the supernatural, the Soul Catcher must look beyond the borders of his own land. He must take on a mission that could save--or destroy--all that he knows.

Rating (out of 7): 7

Warnings: death, violence, ghosts, afterlife, sacrifice, loss, fade-to-black love scenes

Thoughts: One of the most satisfying conclusions to a series I have ever read. Truly. READ THE ENTIRE SERIES. SAVOR AND LOVE EVERY LAST BOOK!! AND KNOW THAT THE END IS THE BEST!

1. Letters to the Lost by, Brigid Kemmerer

Summary: Secret letters spark true love in this emotionally compelling romance from the New York Timesbestselling author of A Curse So Dark and Lonely, Brigid Kemmerer. Juliet Young always writes letters to her mother, a world-traveling photojournalist. Even after her mother’s death, she leaves letters at her grave. It’s the only way Juliet can cope. Declan Murphy isn’t the sort of guy you want to cross. In the midst of his court-ordered community service at the local cemetery, he’s trying to escape the demons of his past. When Declan reads a haunting letter left beside a grave, he can't resist writing back. Soon, he’s opening up to a perfect stranger, and their connection is immediate. But neither Declan nor Juliet knows that they're not actually strangers. When life at school interferes with their secret life of letters, sparks will fly as Juliet and Declan discover truths that might tear them apart.

Rating (out of 7): 7

Warnings: loss of sibling, loss of parent, alcoholism, mention of infidelity, mentions of previous physical and emotional child abuse. Overall darker themes dealt with in this book, but in such a compelling way.

Thoughts: There is a reason I have read this book seven times this year. It’s everything I love in a story. It is rich and compelling. It is moving and haunting. It’s adults being flawed, but still adults. It’s teens learning to grow, and also, to still be kids. It’s wonderful!!!!

#maereads #top10reads

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