https://www.tumblr.com/doomed-to-wanda/747617028751474688?source=share
Inspiration above
TW death, grief
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Five Funerals
They lose Fig first.
Comes with the territory when you're an archdevil - somebody's always looking to take your spot. "Don't worry about it," she says, opening a Planeshift to the recording studio. "It's just the usual rebellious fiends. Icythorz and Bolhondrus and the rest. I'll be back before you know it." She looks resplendent in black leather, the Unfaithable Bass slung across her back, riding the fiery Daymare surrounded in jagged red shards.
Adaine knows before everyone else, but can't believe the vision to be true until she learns that Ayda is gone, too. She scratched every memory of Fig out of her notes before starting over - it was too much pain to bear. The five of them know how it feels.
---5---
It's a few years before they take another hit. Another mission to the Mountains of Chaos, another world-ending calamity to be stopped because Who Else Is Going To Save The World? A small misstep, a miscalculation (six where there should be five, they're only five now) and suddenly the routine becomes deadly.
Riz takes the fall. "It's easier this way," he says, in his last moments. "I'll still see you." And he does. Agent Gukgak Jr., now, with some extra responsibility. But he still comes by. Sometimes. Every so often. Often enough.
---4---
Kristen is next. Only one thing could bring down the most gifted cleric of the age - sacrificing herself for her friends. Third time's the charm when it comes to death, it turns out.
Gorgug is the most hopeful that she'll come back, that she'll find a way again, like in the Nightmare Forest. But Adaine knows this is the end. Even Arthur Aguefort agrees. He quotes Alanis Morissette at her funeral. The followers of Cassandra pull out all the stops.
Adaine, Fabian, and Gorgug have their own ceremony at Ashgrove, next to the Gukgak family plot. It's quiet. Bucky cries into Ragh's shoulder. Aelwyn, Jawbone, and Gertie collect flowers. Tracker stays for a few minutes to say goodbye.
---3---
They quit adventuring after Kristen's funeral. And they don't lose anyone else for a long time. Riz still visits, every few years. They talk about the good old days, how silly it was that Baron was so terrifying when at the end of the day it was an honest conversation that finally did him in. There's rumours that Kristen has ascended to goddesshood herself - Adaine doesn't buy it. She's not the type to be revered.
They come out of retirement for the only reason they would - to bring back one of their own. They finally found Fig's soul, trapped in a ruby in the darkest levels of the Abyss. They can't ask anyone to come with them - it's too dangerous, it's too personal. It's missions like this that kill people.
And when it's all over, when Adaine carries Fabian's burnt, unconscious body back to Morded Manor, they have another funeral to plan.
Gorbag and Roz have already passed, and Wilma and Digby are too old to make preparations, so it falls to Jawbone to organize it. He knows they don't want a lot of fanfare. It's at Ashgrove again, just Adaine and Fabian and the Thistlesprings, and Aelwyn and Ragh. Sandra-Lynn is back in Solace - she sends Adaine a heartfelt text saying she appreciates the invitation, but she can't bring herself to come.
Riz doesn't show for the ceremony - he's desperately scouring the heavenly realms, trying to make sure Gorgug ended up somewhere he wasn't afraid of. Orcish heaven doesn't have him, he reports, and neither does Cassandra.
If he's trapped in the Abyss with Fig, at least they have each other.
---2---
Adaine sees Fabian's death the night of Gorgug's funeral. She needs to prepare, she tells herself. She knows it's going to be hard. She needs all the time she can get, and she needs to know which goodbye will be their last.
They grow old together. Not romantically, although some speculate. Fabian becomes a multiclass advisor at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy. Adaine works in Bastion City as an archivist, with occasional trips to Fallinel for Oracle services. They go for vacations sometimes, but never for too long. The memories find them no matter where they go. Sometimes Adaine wishes she could be Ayda, scrape off the old wounds and start fresh. Arthur talks about her sometimes. She's never had the same spark as that one lifetime, he says.
Adaine watches the wrinkles grow beside Fabian's eye, watches his hair turn grey, watches the Future of Dance become its Mentor. He trades his Battlesheet for a cane-sword, then a regular cane. He takes to wearing the Gregorian necktie to classes, no matter how much it clashes with his outfit. They both wonder how many of their own teachers lost party members.
Adaine holds Fabian's wrinkled hand on his deathbed, in his old room at Seacaster Manor. He grins, flashes the same perfect teeth as on the first day of Freshman Year. "Bet you didn't see this one coming, did you?"
"I did," she whispers, tears streaming down her young elven face. "I knew it would end like this. But I always hoped it would last forever."
They're the last words he hears.
It's not the first funeral Adaine organizes. All the Bad Kids held one for Buddy Dawn, back in high school. She and Fabian worked together on the services for Jawbone, Ragh, and Chungledown Bim - who finally caught up to Fabian in both of their old ages. It is the first funeral she has to organize alone.
Some of Fabian's students attend. Arthur Aguefort gives a short speech, and a few students hear the story of Kalvaxus' return for the first time. Adaine sits with Aelwyn in the front row, a few seats down from Hallariel. Gilear records the service to show Telemaine later. Riz is somewhere deep undercover - he maybe hasn't even heard yet.
She always knew she'd be the last. She didn't expect it to hurt so much.
---1---
Adaine stumbles through a few years before she finds herself again. They pass so fast without a mortal lifespan to hold up against them. She drifts between Fallinel and Bastion City for the most part, with occasional return trips to Elmville. Aelwyn always has a place for her to stay. Seacaster Manor was turned into a dormitory for Aguefort students who needed a place to study, or sleep, or stay away from home for a while. Tracker converted Morded Manor into a temple/bed-and-breakfast for worshipers of Galicaea. Strongtower Luxury Apartments was demolished soon after Fabian started teaching at Aguefort. It seems like everything is different now.
Adaine visits Leviathan once, on a whim. The Compass Points hasn't changed a bit. On a chance meeting in the stacks, Ayda looks at her with a spark of familiarity.
"Adaine Abernant?"
"Yes... you remember me?"
Ayda shakes her head. "There are mentions of you in my journals. I leave journals for when I regenerate-"
"I know. I remember."
Ayda looks intrigued. "I wrote that you were a great wizard, and a good friend. I hear from other sources that you are the Elven Oracle. Perhaps you can shed some light on why the pages around yours are torn to shreds or redacted to the point of unreadability?"
Adaine places a gentle hand on Ayda's shoulder. "I don't know if you'd want that. You lost someone you cared about, so much that you thought it was better to forget her than to bear the pain of losing her."
Ayda considers this. "Is it better to forget?" she asks. "Would you give up the memories of those you lost, in order to keep a logical mind?"
"No. Not for anything."
"Then we should talk."
Adaine smiles. "I'd like that."
---2---
*end
Thanks for reading all the way through! I wrote most of this at 2am and the conclusion the next morning. Please take a reblog to share with your friends or drop a like to let me know you enjoyed - or hated - the story!
Ask me anything about it, please, I love discussing these kinds of theories!!!
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List of already polled characters:
A.B.A - Guilty Gears: Hug
Abramar - The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood: Kill
Ageha Hijiri - Hirogaru Sky PreCure: Hug
Agnea Bristarni - Octopath Traveler 2: Hug
Aidan - The Illuminae Files: Kill
Aigis - Persona 3: Hug
Akira Kenjou - KiraKira PreCure à la Mode: Hug
All Might - My Hero Academia: Hug
Almalexia - Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind: Tribunal: Kill
Alucard Tepes - Castlevania: Marry
Amane Momose - MILGRAM Project: Adopt
America/Alfred F Jones - Hetalia: Kill
Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader - Star Wars: Kill
Anders - Dragon Age 2: Hug
Archer - Pokemon: Kill
Aristotle - Billie Bust Up: Hug
Arthur Lester - Malevolent: Hug
Ashlyn Banner - School Bus Graveyard: Pat on the head
Astarion - Baldur's Gate 3: Hug
Astro Boy - Astro Boy: Pat on the head
Atsushi Nakajima - Bungo Stray Dogs: Hug
Avicenna - Some Desperate Glory: Kill
Ayame Sohma - Fruits Basket: Kill
Babe - Pit Babe: Hug
Bandit Heeler - Bluey: Hug
Barney - Barney and Friends: Kill
Basil - Omori: Hug
Becka - Scarlet Hollow: Hug
Beebee - Adventures with Anxiety: Hug
Benoit Blanc - Knives Out: Hug
Bernd das Brot - KiKa/German TV: Kill
Bibble - Barbie: Kill
Bill Cipher - Gravity Falls: Kill
Blazer - Stray: Hug
Blitzwing - Transformers Animated: Hug
Bog King - Strange Magic: Hug
Bolt - Disney's Bolt: Adopt
Bonnie - In Stars and Time: Hug
Brahms Heelshire - The Boy: Kill
Brooklyn - Gargoyles: Hug
Bruce Wayne - Batman: Hug
Buggy - One Piece: Kill
Captain Pip Bernadotte - Hellsing Ultimate: Hug
Catra - She-Ra: Hug
Cerise Hood - Ever After High: Pat on the head
Charles Calvin - Henry Stickmin Collection: Hug
Chelsea - Royal Scandel: Hug
Chibiusa/Sailor Mini Moon - Sailor Moon: Pat on the head
Chilchuck Tims - Delicious in Dungeon: Hug
Chrom - Fire Emblem: Marry
Clint Barton/Hawkeye - Marvel: Hug
Clyde ‐ Dreams of an Insomniac: Hug
Colette - The Thea Stilton novels: Hug
Conan Edogawa - Detective Conan: Pat on the head
Coraline - Coraline: Hug+Adopt
Cordell Walker - Walker 2021: Hug
Crash Man - Megaman 2: Hug
Crying Child - Five Nights at Freddy's 4: Adopt
Daisy Johnson - Agents of SHIELD: Hug
Daisy Tonner - The Magnus Archives: Kill
Danny Fenton - Danny Phantom: Hug
Da Quing - Guardian: Hug
Death - Puss in Boots: The Last Wish: Kiss
Death the Kid - Soul Eater: Hug
Diana of Themyscira | Wonder Woman - DC Comics: Marry
Dib - Invader Zim: Pat on the head
Digby - Dead Estate: Pat on the head
Dogday - Poppy Playtime: Adopt
Donald Duck - Ducktales 2017: Hug
Donald Trump - Real Life: Kill
Donald Trump - Real Life: Fuck
Donatello Splinterson - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2003: Hug
Dr. Boris Habit - Smile For Me: Hug
Dr. D Light - It's Not Me, It's My Basement: Hug
Dr. Flug ‐ Villainous: Hug
Dr. Ludwig/The Medic - Team Fortress 2: Kill
Dr. Two Brains - WordGirl: Hug
Dragon - Shrek: Hug
Draco Malfoy - Harry Potter: Kill
Dream of the Endless - The Sandman: Hug
Echo - Star Wars The Clone Wars/The Bad Batch: Hug
Ecolo - Puyo Puyo: Hug
Eileen Leahy - Supernatural: Hug
Emily Kauffman - Gylt: Hug
Ena Shinomome - Project Sekai: Hug
Eric Foreman - House M. D.: Hug
Erik (The Phantom) - The Phantom of The Opera: Kill
Eucerin - Object Fool: Kill
Fan - Rockman Strategy: Kill
Fantoccio - Billie Bust Up!: Hug
Felix Kranken - The Walten Files: Kill
First Aid - Transformers Animated: Hug
Floyd - Trolls Band Together: Kill
Francis Mosses - That’s not my neighbor: Hug
Freddy Fazbear - Five Nights at Freddy's: Kill
Fubuki Shirou - Inazuma Eleven: Hug
Furina - Genshin Impact: Hug
Future Edd - Eddsworld: Kill
Gabe Ugliano - Percy Jackson: Kill
Gale Hawthorne - The Hunger Games Franchise: Kill
Garry - Ib: Hug
Garu/Karu - Nu:Carnival: Hug
General Sarah Alder - Motherland: Fort Salem: Kill
Gilgamesh Wolfenbach - Girl Genius: Hug
Ginpachi-Senpai - Gintama: Kill
Godzilla - Godzilla (Monsterverse): Hug
Gonta Gokuhara - Danganronpa: Hug
Gosha - Beastars: Hug
Gray Wing - Warrior Cats: Kill
Gray Yeon - The Weak Hero Webtoon: Kill
Gretchen - Scarlet Hollow: Pat on the head
Hal Stewart/Titan - Megamind: Kill
Haruhi Fujioka - Ouran High School Host Club: Hug
Hau - Pokemon (Sun/Moon, Ultra Sun/Moon): Hug
Heath - Blackstar Theater Starless: Hug+Kill
Heathcliff - Heathcliff Comic Strip: Hug
Hello Kitty - Sanrio: Pat on the head
He Who Gets Slapped - He Who Gets Slapped: Kill
Hiro Hamada - Big Hero 6: Hug
Homura Akemi - Puella Magi Madoka Magika: Hug
Hug Kiss Marry Kill Tumblr blog - Tumblr: Hug
Ilya Oblomov - Oblomov: Hug
Inuyasha - Inuyasha: Pat on the head
Invidia Bat - A Little Vice: Hug
Ivan - Alien Stage: Hug
Jack Horner - Puss in Boots: The Last Wish: Kill
Jaime Lannister - A Song of Ice and Fire: Kill
Janet - The Good Place: Hug
Jason Todd - Batman: Hug
Jedah Diamond - Tokyo 7th Sisters: Hug
Jerry - Undertale: Kill
Jiang Cheng - Mo Dao Zu Shi / The Untamed: Hug
Jiro Yamashita - The Idolmaster SideM: Hug
John Gaius - The Locked Tomb: Kill
Jonathan Sims - The Magnus Archives: Hug
Joshu Higashikata - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 8: JoJolion: Kill
Julian - Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja: Pat on the head
Kagome Higurashi - Inuyasha: Hug
Kakashi Hatake - Naruto: Marry
Kaladin Stormblessed - The Stormlight Archive: Hug
KAngel/Ame-chan - Needy Streamer Overload: Hug
Kankri Vantas - Homestuck: Kill
Karma Akabane - Assassination Classroom: Hug
Kendall Roy - Succession: Hug
Kensuke Kurosaki - Corpse Party: Pat on the head
Kestrel - Wings of Fire: Kill
Kevin McCallister - Home Alone: Pat on the head
Killua Zoldyck - Hunter x Hunter: Pat on the head
Kim - Kinnporsche: The Series: Hug
King Andrias - Amphibia: Kill
Kinito - KinitoPET: Pat on the head
Kitty Jones - Bartimaeus Trilogy: Hug
Klaus von Reinherz - Kekkai Sensen: Marry
Klavier Gavin - Ace Attorney: Hug
Klutzy - Club Penguin: Pat on the head
Korra - Legend of Korra: Hug
Kou Minamoto - Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun: Hug
Kris Dreemurr - Deltarune: Hug
Kuzco - The Emperor's New Groove: Pat on the head
Kyubi - Puella Magi Madoka Magika: Kill
L - Death Note: Hug
LadyDevimon - Digimon: Kiss
Lance Serrano - Voltron: Hug
Langly (X-Files): Kill
Leo Valdez - Heroes of Olympus: Hug
Leshy - Inscryption: Hug
Lestat de Lioncourt - Interview with the Vampire: Kill
Lev Myshkin - The Idiot: Hug
Licorice Cookie - Cookie Run Kingdom: Hug
Lisa Simpson - The Simpsons: Pat on the head
Liu Qianqiao - Qord of Honor: Hug
Logan Fields - School Bus Graveyard: Hug
Looks to the Moon - Rain World: Hug
Luan Loud - The Loud House: Kill
Luigi - Super Mario Brothers: Hug
Luisa Madrigal - Encanto: Hug
Luna Lovegood - Harry Potter: Adopt
Luz Noceda - The Owl House: Hug
Maggie Simpson - The Simpsons: Hug
Magolor - Kirby: Kill
Malak - Dark Deception: Kill
Malcolm Merlyn - Arrow: Kill
Marceline Abadeer - Adventure Time: Marry
Maria Ushiromiya - Umineko: Adopt
Master Kohga - Legend of Zelda: Kill
Michael J. Caboose - Red vs Blue: Hug
Miae Hwang - After School Lessons for unripe apples: Pat on the head
Millennial Tree Cookie - Cookie Run: Hug
Min - Parallel City: Hug+Kill
Misaki Ayuzawa - Kaichou wa Maid Sama: Hug
Miss Kobayashi - Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid: Hug
Miwako Sakurada - Paradise Kiss: Hug+Kiss
Momo - Stray: Hug
Mono - Little Nightmares: Adopt
Moonwatcher - Wings of Fire: Hug
Mo Ran - The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha): Hug
Natalia - The iDOLM@STER Cinderella Girls: Hug
Mr Bean - Mr Bean: Hug
Narrator - The Stanley Parable: Hug
Nate Wright - Big Nate: Hug
Natsuki - Doki Doki Literature Club: Hug
Near - Death Note: Hug
Newton Pud - Little Big Planet: Hug
Nick - Zootopia: Hug
Niffty - Hazbin Hotel: Pat on the head
Niko - Oneshot: Hug
Omnimon/Omegamon - Digimon: Hug
Ongsa - 23.5: Pat on the head
Onion San - Undertale: Pat on the head
Orel Puppington - Moral Orel: Adopt
Oroboros - Honka: Star Rail: Kill
P03 - Inscryption: Kill
Pavel Yudin - Fear and Hunger Termina: Kill
PearlescentMoon - Double lifesmp/Traffic life series: Hug
Phaya - The Sign: Kiss
Phosphophyllite - Land of the Lustrous/Houseki no Kuni: Hug
Pomni - The Amazing Digital Circus: Hug
Portgas D. Ace - One Piece: Hug
Qifrey - Witch Hat Atelier: Hug
Quark - Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Hug
Raelle Collar - Motherland: Fort Salem: Kill
Randy Random - Rimworld: Kill
Ranko Mannen - Akiba Maid War: Hug
Rantaro Amami - Danganronpa: Kill
Rasta Beast - Everhood: Hug
Ray - The Promised Neverland: Hug
R.B. Sous-chef Gregor - Limbus Company: Kill
Regina George - Mean Girls: Kill
Rider - Centaurworld: Hug
Riku - Kingdom Hearts: Hug
Robert E. O. Speedwagon - Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Kill
Ronald Novikov - Jackson's Diary: Hug
Rory - Morgana and Oz: Hug
Rosa Ushiromiya - Umineko: Kill
Rose Quartz - Steven Universe: Hug
Rozy/Rozana - The Guy Upstairs: Hug
Ryuji Sakamoto - Persona 5: Hug
Sam Winchester - Supernatural: Hug
Sara Lance - Legends of Tomorrow: Marry+Kill
Sasara Nurude - Hypnosis Mic: Kill
Sasha Nein - Psychonauts: Hug
Saturday Tasogare- vivid/stasis: Hug
Scissors - Paper Mario the Orgami King: Kill
Scylla Ramshorn - Motherland: Fort Salem: Kill
Seliph - Fire Emblem: Hug
Serial Designation N - Murder Drones: Hug
Seungha - Odd Girl Out: Hug
Shaggy - Scooby-Doo: Pat on the head
Shannon LaFae - Heart Fragment: Hug
Shigaraki Tomura - My Hero Academia: Hug
Shin Sato - The Idolmaster Cinderella Girls: Hug
Shion Sonozaki - Higurashi: Pat on the head must
Shouko Komi - Komi San wa komishou desu: Hug
Shrek - Shrek: Hug
Shu Itsuki - Ensemble Stars: Kill
Siffrin - In Stars and Time: Hug
Simon Keyes - Ace Attorney: Kill
Slate - Outer Wilds: Hug
Snow White/Red Shoes - Red Shoes and the 7 Dwarfs: Hug
Soldier Boy - The Boys: Kill
Sora Harukawa - Ensemble Stars: Pat on the head
Spamton G. Spamton - Deltarune: Kill
Sparkle - Honkai: Star Rail: Kill
Spencer Reid - Criminal Minds: Marry
SpongeBob SquarePants - SpongeBob SquarePants: Hug
Stan Pines - Gravity Falls: Hug
Star Flower - Warrior Cats: Pat on the head
Strider Hiryu - Strider: Kill
Subspace - Phighting!: Kill
Tali'Zorah - Mass Effect: Marry
Tamaki Suoh - Ouran High School Host Club: Hug
Tarvek Sturmvoraus - Girl Genius: Hug
Taylor - Simulacra: Hug
Taylor Hebert - Worm (Parahumans): Hug
Taylor Swift - Real Life: Kill
Teddy - Among the Sleep: Kill
Terry - Deltarune: Kill
Teruki Hanazawa - Mob Psycho 100: Pat on the head
The Ninth Doctor - Doctor Who: Hug
The Nowhere King - Centaurworld: Kill
The Once-ler - The Lorax: Kill
The Second Coming - Animator vs Animation/Animation vs Minecraft: Hug
The Shapeshifter - Odd Squad: Kill
The Snatcher - A Hat In Time: Kill
The Survivor - Rain World: Pat on the head
Thomas Richardson - The Apostle: Kill
Thorn - Wings of Fire: Hug
Tifa Lockhart - Final Fantasy VII: Hug
Tippi - Super Paper Mario: Hug
Titania - Fire Emblem: Marry
Trevor Belmont - Castlevania: Kiss
Trevor Garbo - Smile For Me: Kill
Tsubasa Yuunagi - Hirogaru Sky PreCure: Pat on the head
Tsukasa Okino - 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim: Hug
Turbo - Wreck It Ralph: Kill
Twelve - Zankyou No Terror: Kill
Umi - Sharkgirl Umi: Pat on the head
Uncle Iroh - Avatar: The Last Airbender: Hug
Vee - The Owl House: Hug
Vertin - Reverse: 1999: Hug
Victoria Best - Wordgirl: Pat on the head
Vigilante - My Friend Pedro: Hug+Kill
Virgil - Portal Stories: Mel: Hug
Wade Wilson - Deadpool: Hug
Wallace - Pokémon ORAS: Hug
Wally Franks - Bendy and the Ink Machine: Hug
Wes - Pokemon Colosseum: Hug
Wheatley - Portal: Kill
Xavier Riddle - Xavier Riddle and the Secret Museum: Pat on the head
Yato - Noragami: Kill
Yoo Joonghyuk - Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint: Hug
Youhei Sunohara - Clannad: Kill
Zhang Chengling - Word of Honor: Pat on the head
Zhou Zishu - Word of Honor: Hug
Zim - Invader Zim: Pat on the head
ZombieCleo - The Life Series: Hug
Zuko - Avatar The Last Airbender: Hug
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