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olderthannetfic · 2 months

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I have really mixed feelings about the small proportion of F/F fiction (original or fanfic), because yeah sure, people have their desires, they should write what they want, I get it. It all works out when I hear it from person to person. But somehow the logic only ever applies in one direction? "There are more male protagonists because men only care about male characters! Women also mostly care about male characters, because that's the majority of characters they get!" And then somehow we also yet kvetch when men write female characters (because it's incorrectly or something, nevermind if women are writing male characters correctly). Why don't we expect gay men to feel compelled only by femslash for the same reasons (but gender swapped) as the lesbian slashers/fujoshi? All of those very rational justifications are applied selectively, "for me for not for thee," and it all only leads to "idk I just don't wanna write femslash", for Reasons. Do we get to call them microaggressions yet?

No, you don't get to call other people's fantasy life a microaggression.

That is indeed "for me but not for thee" in the sense that you get to want what you want but other people aren't supposed to follow their id.

Do you also police gay men who spend too much time on drag and obsessing over female divas? That's an actual real world behavior that's somewhat equivalent. It frequently goes unchallenged, at least by progressives, because men are allowed to do whatever they want with chick stuff, while women are "stealing" if they dare to stray into dude stuff.

(God, I've seen so much more policing of drag kings being ~problematic~ for acting out stereotypical gender than policing of drag queens for the same. It's nuts!)

Fujoshi are often queer, but it's absurd to think we're mostly lesbians. We tend to be bi or asexual women with gender stuff going on, though there is a mix of everybody, including lesbians. There are also a lot of AFAB non-women who get lumped in with us. On the rare occasions I find a man willing to admit to being a similar demographic, he usually does like gender play in his hobbies and entertainment. It's just that men face even more pressure than women do to fit into tidy categories. Bi women get told we're whores. Bi men are told they don't exist.

Yes, I know plenty of lesbians who write more m/m than f/f, but in the big picture of all of AO3 or all of fanfic or all of media, they aren't the demographic driving these numbers. They're vastly outnumbered by the bi women, the asexual women, and the straight and gnc women.

The men we should be looking at as an equivalent aren't cis gay men but bicurious soy boys and the like.

Do most of us fujoshi object to equivalent men doing an equivalent thing? I've seen it sometimes, and I agree it's hypocritical. I'd like us to afford men the same ability to play and take on identities in their art. I remember enjoying Ranma fandom back in the day and reading quite a lot of f/f that was probably by men. It had some of that same sense of distance and fantasy that I so enjoy in m/m aimed at fujoshi. (I do consume some by-cis-gay, for-cis-gay content, both m/m and f/f, but it's often too literal and too bound up in specific named identities for my taste.)

On average, the people I see complaining most about men producing f/f material are the same people who think that because I have a clit, I should center my life around women exclusively. In other words, people spouting radfem ideology, perhaps on purpose or perhaps without realizing.

I do agree that some of the ways of expressing a lack of desire to write femslash can get pretty douchey. I want us to move away from some of the less accurate ones like "There are no compelling female characters" because of this.

But the reason for all these jerkass explanations is that women and people perceived as women who like m/m are constantly asked to explain ourselves. These aren't usually microaggressions: they're openly hostile. People get defensive and try to answer with important-sounding reasons about identity and pain because society at large won't accept "I like this" as the true explanation.

Pleasure is never enough of a reason for a woman to do something.

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disillusioneddanny · 3 months

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DPxDC Negativity

Hey this is just a friendly reminder that I'm going to put in the plainest terms that I can.

If you are telling people how they should and should not participate in fandom you are GATEKEEPING

If you are telling people that they need to read more comics before writing fanfic you are GATEKEEPING

If you are telling people that they need to do more research into canon in any form, whether that be reading wikis, reading comics, watching shows, whatever you are GATEKEEPING

If you are telling people that what they are writing is not canon compliant and therefore not a valid way to participate in fandom you are GATEKEEPING

Fandom is supposed to be fun

Fanfiction is supposed to be fun

We are not writing these stories for anyone but ourselves. And to tell someone that they are participating in fandom wrong is GATEKEEPING

There are plenty of fanfics in the DC only sphere and the DP sphere that are so far away from canon it's unreal and that's totally okay!

People are allowed to enjoy fandom in however the hell they please. If that means they are writing a crap ton of Batfam/Danny Phantom content and not very much Justice League/DP content, that's totally okay.

If someone read the Wayne Family Adventures Webtoon and decided that they want to write Danny being adopted into a loving and crazy Batfamily that is totally one hundred percent fine.

If someone wants to write Danny with abusive and neglectful parents guess what? they can.

If they want to write Vlad as being a nurturing and loving godfather to Danny, they can.

What I'm trying to explain to you all is that it's okay to write things that are not canon compliant. It's okay to write things that are so far away from canon it's not even recognizable--I mean have you even read a fantasy au or a no capes au? That's basically just slapping a characters name and face to an OC. And guess what? THAT'S OKAY.

It's also okay to want to see more people interact with the canon lore, to want to share resources and tell people about your special interests. But the moment you start doing it and it makes people feel bad-- even if that is not your intention you are GATEKEEPING.

Gatekeeping is defined as the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something.

By you telling others what they should and should not write, you are being a gatekeeper.

I get it, you want to share lore, you want to show that you know all these cool things about DC. You want more than just batfam and DP content. That's totally valid and really cool.

Do it yourself.

Don't take someone else's joy away simply because it's not what you want to see. They aren't writing it for you, they're writing it for themselves. You're just a lucky person who gets to see the beautiful works that they are putting time and effort into.

When I joined DPxDC I knew absolute shit about DC. Over the last year, I've read over 400 issues of the Batman comics, read all of the Red Robin series, and a smattering of random other comics with plans to read others. But when I started writing? I knew jackshit. My knowledge came from the Teen Titans cartoon, the Batman animated series, and vague memories of watching the Justice League animated series as a kid.

And if Dis from a year ago saw this gatekeeping shit, they would have never started writing for the fandom because they would have been too scared to be told they were doing it wrong.

Now? I'm writing DC only fics based off of what I learned in the comics and it's a lot of fun.

But I did that because I wanted to, I was starting to get more and more interested in DC and I wanted to know more. And I had access to pay for DC Infinite so that I could get access to the comics. Not everyone has that luxury.

Not everyone has the luxury of being able to read them from free sites either. Maybe they have to use a public computer that doesn't have ad blockers. Maybe their local libraries don't have access to the comics. You don't know what their situation is.

Maybe you're being well intentioned. Maybe you're just wanting to share your wealth of knowledge with the fandom. But remember, if just one person is getting hurt by your statements, that means you're no longer being helpful. You're being harmful. You're scaring off a new fan who was super insanely excited to start sharing their headcanons.

You're making people feel unwelcome. And that's not fucking cool.

Fandom is supposed to be a welcoming space for everyone, it's supposed to uplift and bring joy. Not make people feel bad for not knowing enough, or for feeling too anxious to even begin figuring out where in the 75 year history of DC they should start reading.

I know that's what kept me from reading the comics for a long time. it was just too overwhelming. It still is overwhelming for me and thats with having friends telling me where to start and what comics are best to read.

Before I end this super hella long rant I want to remind you of one last thing.

You don't know what someone has read or researched before writing their fic. You don't know just how much they know about that character or universe. For all you know, they may have read, watched, consumed every single piece of DC media in existence. But they may still interpret it different than you did and that does not mean that their Bruce Wayne is OOC because it doesn't align with how you interpret Bruce Wayne. it just means that they view his character differently than you do.

And that's such a beautiful fucking thing don't you think? That a single character, a single universe, a single fucking line can be interpreted hundreds of different ways by hundreds of different people and it's still valid.

It's what makes fandom so freaking cool in the first place.

Like one day someone woke up and they were watching Danny Phantom and they thought hm, what if I had Danny Fenton go to Gotham one day and hang out with the bats? And next thing you know, now we have thousands upon thousands of different fanfics, fan art and HCs, all because of it. All because someone had that one idea and shared it and others saw it, interpreted it their own way, and decided to create even more.

And now we're here! And this fandom is beautiful and thriving. There are so many amazing and lovely people in this fandom. There are so many discords to talk about fandom, there's so many events, a DPxDC Bang is the works, a DPxDC fanzine is in the works.

That's so fucking cool and we should be celebrating that! Not making others feel bad for not knowing as much as others.

#dpxdc #dis has opinions #dis writes #dpxdc crossover #negativity

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1800-page-not-found · 7 months

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Wingwoman (Wriothesley x reader)

summarry: Being the secretary of the hydro archon isn't easy, although I suppose being her friend does make it easier. The hydro archon-furina, is quite a good friend actually. Though, her methods of helping you get closer with the man you fancy aren't always quite...ethical. But I promise you, she does mean well.

notes: i still havent completed this quest yet so its probably wrong in some areas lol. I also think i'll be updating some orv writings on the weekend where I have more time.

not proofread

"[name] [last name], by order of the court, you will be sentenced to-" the lady paused, trying to make sure what she read was correct. "-to twelve hours in the Fortress of Meropide for...not being true to yourself?..."

oh.

This was Furina's doing. You sighed, holding your head as you nodded.

"Right..." You answered, also seeming unsure.

This...this was really the best Furina could come up with? Just because you said you didn't fancy the Lord of the Fortress of Meropide.

Okay, sure. Maybe he is a little handsome, and strong, and kind, and-

ahem.

You were led to the inside of the Fortress and there you were. 'Furina, my dear archon and friend, what the fuck am I supposed to do here?!' You nervously bit your finger nails, freaking out internally. 'Oh archons, she wouldn't extend my sentence would she?...what am I even saying-she definitely would.'

-------

Wriothesley walked with Lumine and Sigewinne, going down to eat. His eyes widened at the sight of you, down here at the Fortress.

"[name]?" He spoke, his voice seeming surprised, at a dash of excitement. Had you-had you come to see him?!?

You turned around surprised. "Wriothesley? Lumine?-hold on, Lumine!? What are you doing here?"

"Ahahaha...Its...complicated. I'd rather not explain my sentence. How about you?" Lumine asks, smiling. It was good to see a friend again.

You certainly weren't here for business, that's for sure. Wriothesley would've been officially notified.

"I uh...also got sentenced. For half a day." You laugh embarrassed. You were definitely going to cut Furina's sweet intake by 25%.

Before anyone could reply, someone-who worked at the Fortress- ran up and handed Lumine a letter. "An official letter to Lumine from the Hydro Archon!" speak of the devil.

After reading it as you and Wriothesley conversed about business, Lumine laughed.

"Wriothesley, If its alright with you, Paimon and I would like to look around the fortress ourselves for a bit if that's okay. You could tour [name] around instead!"

No way. Theres absolutely no way Furina asked the renowned Lumine to help her-you, on this little fiasco. However, when Wriothesley nodded and turned his back to Lumine and Paimon, they both winked and gave you a thumbs up.

Oh my god, she did.

"-ame]? [name]? Would you uh, like a tour?" Wriothesley scratched his head bashfully.

"Yes, I'd like one if that'd be okay with you."

You smiled, trying not to freak out. Was this-this could definitely be considered a date right!?! I mean, you were arrested for a stupid reason but I mean, it worked! Damn, Furina was a really really good wingwoman...

"Great!-sorry ahem, I meant, it'd be no problem."

Oh my god what is this, a cheesy rom-com movie?

-------

After the tour ended, it was already nearing the end of your short sentence. (lets just pretend Wriothesley has no work responsibilities.)

"It was really lovely getting to know the place you work at. You seem like you enjoy your job." You smiled at him.

"I do!-sorry I meant yes, I do enjoy it. I also really enjoyed talking to you outside of work." He scratched his neck shyly, looking away, before mumbling, "you're much lovelier when you're yourself anyway..."

-------

And that was that. You were discharged from the Fortress, and you guys were going to become strangers again-

"[name]!" You hear his voice call out to you as you walked. Pausing and turning around, you were faced with Wriothesley.

"If, If you'd like, could we have lunch every now and then? I really liked talking with you today!" His cheekes were flushed, was it from running or his bashfulness?

"I would like that too..." You covered your face, blushing. What a cliche romance plot! Just like the novels you've read from your library Furina had gifted you...

"R-really!? Wonderful! Maybe you should get in trouble more so we can see each other more often-" Your eyes widen in surprise, and he stutters over his words.

"I-I'm sorry I shouldn't have sai-"

"Pft-ahahahaha!" You laugh, covering your stomach. "I didn't know you could crack jokes like that too!" You laughed, tears brimming your eyes from laughing so hard.

"Who knows? Maybe I will." You laugh, as Wriothesley waves his hands in the air in a frantic manner.

"N-no! That wouldn't be good for you! It would be on your record and it might put your job at stake!" You smiled, regaining your posture.

"Haha! No worries, the beloved Hydro Archon and I are practically best friends! I know her quite well."

You smile softly, then deciding to be bold and tucked his hair behind his ear, and kissing his cheek. "I hope I see you again soon."

You turned around and left, leaving a shocked and flustered Wriothesley. Little did he know, you and a really giddly smile on your face.

Maybe you should increase Furina's sweet orders by 25% instead...

#wriothesley #wriothesley x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #wriothesley x you #wriothesley x y/n #genshin #furina #focalors

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the-fiction-witch · 11 months

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No Girls?

Media The Maze Runner : Death Cure

Character Newt

Couple Newt X Reader

Rating Smutty / Flirty

Concept A Glade with No Girls

Smut: Sexy Discussions / Sexual Language / Semi Nudity

I sat watching the ocean shift and change with each of its little waves, the ship to the side being worked on relentlessly by anyone with enough skill to do so. I sat repairing various clothes and tent flaps that had been dropped off to me a skill I'd always used and honestly enjoyed something about sitting down with a needle and some thread was so very calming indeed. But I wasn't alone I had newt beside me one of the group A boys who had gotten cosy with Vince I got along with most of them but newt especially we had a comfort with each other I suppose he had a day off from his usual work welding and cutting metal work on the ship a task Vince trained him in as his steady hand was well suited for it. But today he was resting his ankle up sitting with me as I worked.

"Why didn't you try a big ladder?'

"We did. Couldn't build one big enough."

"What about like scaffolding?'

"Y/n I don't know how else to explain this to you the walls were too big to do that."

"Did you try a big stick?" I asked and he glared at me "do like a pole vault"

"Your really just not getting how big these walls are"

"No if it's a wall it can be scaled."

"Okay so if you could get to the top then what?"

"Walk along the top."

"That doesn't connect. And moves every night"

"Fine. Still sounds dull"

"Says the girl who lived in a shopping centre with a bunch of cranks for two years"

"I wore stylish pre apocalypse fashion, ate so many fancy candies and slept on a whole bed of teddy bears. My life was awesome"

"Sure sounds like it" he laughed

"So how many girls again?'

"One"

"Ooohh bet you boys fought over her. Or what she just one of those free love types who'd let all of you straight boys at her"

"No, she was only in the glade a week so"

"How long were you in there?'

"Three years"

"And you had one girl for a week?'

"Yeah'

"I'm surprised she got out the box without being drowned"

"...by what?"

"A river of goo"

He glared at me again "we didn't all immediately jizz ourselves when we saw a girl"

"Really? Cause I think sixty boys in a large maze together for three years would be pretty hyped for a girl. Except the gay guys they probably didn't care all that much. Bisexuals hyped over threewaY possibilities. Asexuals wouldn't really care either" I explained

"I mean Thomas may have jizzed himself but that's because she's his girlfriend"

"Ohh. But you really spent three years with nothing but big smelly boys?"

"Yeah, and it wasn't that bad we had showers"

"Yeah I know what boys are like you showered once in a month if your lucky"

"...true." he sighed

"Didn't you have buckets too?'

"Yeah for klunk"

"Did you have laundry?'

'not really. Just brush it off if it gets dirt on it"

"Ugggh I get why the one girl lasted a week she probably couldn't stand the smell, sweaty smell unwashed teenage boys who don't wash their laundry and have shit buckets, all allowed to fester and go all sour"

"Okay now you say it… we probably were disgusting"

"You shower more now right?"

"Every other day, I would everyday but the showers aren't that private…"

"Awwww you shy newt?" I giggled

"Shy? Don't want people seeing my dick? Whatever you wanna call it"

"But really no girls?"

"No girls."

"Awwww poor newtie spent all the formative teen time without anything to imagine"

"I can imagine. I have an imagination"

"But you spent all that time without comparison. From when you where a tiny baby boy to now big strong boy" I smiled leaning on his shoulder

"It wasn't that bad"

"What did you use to do? At night?"

"Sleep?"

"Newt, you were trapped in their from what 13 onwards. Your really going to try and tell me you didn't.. you know after lights out"

"Did you?'

"Constantly I was bored. It helps me sleep"

"Do you… still?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just… curious" he blushed "no, I uhh never really had time, or the privacy"

"Awwwwww poor newtie." I giggled hugging him tightly and immediately I noticed "hi"

"Hi"

"Be careful with that I only just repaired those pants newt" I warned him going back to my sewing as he turned bright red "newt?'

'yes?"

"You ever seen boobs?"

"... How much boob?"

"How much have you seen?"

"I saw Teresa's in her shirt… and also a little down her shirt"

"Dirty boy"

"She was laying down it wasn't intentional!"

"That it?"

"That's it"

"You ever touched a boob?"

"Nope"

"You ever seen ass?"

"I mean I've seen Minho. And fry. Infact most boys"

"I meant girls"

"No."

"Ever seen a? Lady area?"

"No,"

"... would you want to?" I asked

He went bright red stuttering a lot barely able to make eye contact with me "I mean uhhh well I uhh I guess I uhh what I mean is uhh kinda"

I chuckled and finished my last few stitches throwing my finished work in the basket "you're sweet newt" I smiled moving to stand In Front of him and I lifted my shirt long enough for him to look before dropping it back down and giving his cheek a kiss even if he was basically frozen with his eyes wide in place "see you later" I laughed taking my basket and headed back to camp

#thomas sangster #tbs imagine #thomasbrodiesangster #tbs imagines #thomas sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster imagine #tbs smut #tbs #thomas brodie sangster #thomas brodie sangster smut #maze runner newt #newt maze runner #newt #newt imagine #newt imagines #the maze runner newt #tmr newt imagine #tmr newt smut #tdc newt smut

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mochinek0 · 5 months

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Daminette December 2023:9-Gremlin

"So there is a list for each of them." Marinette explained, "Allergy information, bedtime schedule, food they avoid, and emergency phone numbers."

"We are the emergency phone numbers." Jason interjected.

Marinette glared at him as Damian put down the duffel bag with the kids clothes and a diaper bag.

"Marinette, everything will be fine." Dick spoke calmly, "You both deserve a night out with out your kids."

"Yeah." Tim stated, "How long was your last date night that didn't involve a diaper change intermission or passing out on the couch?"

Marinette frowned, but Damian placed a kiss on top of her head.

"Angel, don't worry so much. Amaya, Jun, and Malik are in capable hands." Damian stated.

"Aw." Dick cooed.

"If anything happens to our children, I'll kill them in their sleep." Damian declared.

Jason sighed, "You both are making such a big deal about this! You are leaving them in Wayne Manor, one of the safest places in Gotham. We take care of a whole city; we can take care of our nieces and nephew. You're only going to be gone three hours max, depending on traffic and resturant service. You're not even leaving Gotham!"

"Jason's right." Tim explained, "Look, there's three of them and three of us. We can conquer and divide this. If you two can do it, us three can, too."

Marinette sighed, "Fine. Have fun."

Once they got into the car, Damian turned to her.

"You think they will call us?" He questioned.

Mari smiled, "No. They would have to put their pride aside for that. I'm sure they will do everything wrong."

Damian chuckled, "Well, Habibiti, let's go and enjoy our dinner."

"Man, it's like she doesn't trust us!" Jason complained.

"To be fair," Tim interjected, "we have never watched them by ourselves. Damian and Marinette are usually in the same room with us when we spend time with them."

Dick looked over Amaya, Jun, and Malik. They looked so different, but appeared so angelic. Suffice to say the Waynes freaked out when Amaya was born was an understatement. Amaya looked just like Talia, but Tom also had brown hair and green eyes, so he took the credit for his granddaughter having his appearance with Damian's skin tone. Jun looked just like Damian and Malik looked just like his mother. Dick's only worry was Malik. Malik was still only a years old. Amaya was six and was already in the first grade and Jun was in preschool, but he was sure that Amaya and Jun could help with tiny things.

"I'll take care of Malik." Dick offered, "Divide and conquer, just like you said."

"Have you read these lists?" Jason laughed, "Don't let Jun eat after 7PM and her bedtime is 7:30PM. Don't get Malik wet; not even a drop. Don't expect him to sleep when the others go to bed. Amaya's says to supervise when she color and her bed time is at 8PM."

"No water?" Dick questioned.

"Not to spill water on him." Tim sighed, "Just be careful when you bottle feed him. At least there's no bath time on there. I'll watch Jun and Jason can watch Amaya. He can read and she can color. Simple."

Damian and Marinette entered Wayne Manor to find the living room in chaos. It was 10PM and all three of their kids were still awake.

"What is going on here?" Marinette shouted.

Everyone froze.

"Maman! Baba!" Amaya and Jun shouted, running up to their parents.

Damian glared at his older brothers, "Why aren't they asleep? Marinette gave you specific instructions."

"Why is Malik wearing different socks and different clothes?" Marinette questioned.

"He spilled a drop, a drop, of water on his sock!" Dick complained, "He freaked out and wouldn't stop crying until I changed him. By that point, he was thirsty and then he spilled on his shirt. I changed him immiediately after that."

"That's why I said not to get water on him." Marinette sighed.

"I can see Amaya wasn't supervised." Damian declared, "I wonder how Father will feel about his new colorful mural at hip height."

"Blame Jason!" Tim cried out, "He was suppose to watch her, but he got too wrapped up in his book."

"Why aren't you asleep, Amaya?" Marinette asked their eldest daughter.

"Not comfy." she pouted.

Jason sighed, "She kept saying how the couch wasn't as comfy as her bed."

"Why didn't you let her sleep in your bed?" Damian growled.

"You want me to leave my neice in my room?" Jason shouted, "You know what I keep in there!"

Damian rubbed his forehead in frustration. He spotted Jun running laps around the living room.

"And Jun?" he questioned.

"Tim helped me with Malik when he was flailing around and I was trying to change him." the eldest Wayne admitted.

"And?" Mari snarled.

"We thought it would be okay to leave them alone for a moment." Tim whispered, "Amaya and Jun were watching a movie."

"What happned?" Damian demanded.

"She snuck into the kitchen and ate four cookies." Tim answered, "She's been burning off the sugar ever since."

"Sorry." the Wayne boys declared.

"Amaya, Jun." Mari called out, "I want all of your things put away in the bag, "Damian make sure everything is in there. I'm going to get Malik in his car seat and meet you outside. Both of you are going to bed when we get home. Jun, no cookies for you for a week."

Jun stomped her foot and began to pick up her toys in a sour mood.

"A week?" Dick whined, "It was a mistake that we made."

"No, Richard." Mari declared, "Jun knew she wasn't suppose to have any cookies before we got here. I spoke to her about it before we left."

Mari walked out the front door with Malik in her arms. Amaya and Jun made quick work of their belongings. Amaya waved to her uncles as she yawned and walked out the door. Damian held his second daughter's hand and the duffel bag. Jun sadly waved and walked out the door, pouting.

"Those three are gremlins." Jason stated.

"Sweet like their mother and a Hellraiser like their father?" Tim answered.

"Nope." Jason replied, "Like actual Gremlins, like the movie. Don't get them wet. Don't feed them after dark."

"It was don't get them wet, avoid bright lights, and don't feed them after midnight." Dick rebutted, "Those three love the park. Damian and Marinette take them all the time with Titus."

"And the other two?" Tim questioned.

"We should have listened to Marinette rules." Dick answered.

The three sighed.

Damian and Marinette smiled as their kids slept in the back of their car.

"You were right, Habibiti." Damian spoke, "They are asleep and likely my brothers' will be trying to get back in our favor. How about we go out for dinner same time next month?"

Marinette giggled, "I'd love too."

TAGLIST: @maribat-calendar-events@animeweebgirl@a-star-with-a-human-name@meme991001@vixen-uchiha@abrx2002@alysrose-starchild@fandom-trapped-03@dood-space@moonlightstar64@saltymiraculer@marveldcedits20@09shell-sea09@icerosecrystal@animegirlweeb@insane-fangirl-of-everything@blueblossombliss@nickristus-dreamer@megawhitleycalderonpaganus@missmadwoman@meira-3919@princessdaisysolosyourfaves@blep-23@fangirlingfanatic@darkhinauniverse@ravenr22@im-a-satanic-ritual@ravennm84@bianca-hooks123@a-slytherinish-gryffindor@starling218

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fictionadventurer · 5 months

Text

The liturgical year is one of my favorite things about being Catholic. The Church understands that we aren't supposed to indulge ourselves all the time, or deny ourselves all the time, or even live in moderation all the time. The balance we strike is spread out over an entire year. A lot of the time, moderation is a good general principle. Sometimes, we need to have less than usual--fast and pray more, and deny ourselves worldly comforts so we don't grow too attached to them. Other times, it's good for us to feast--enjoy the gifts of a good God in full measure and take delight in them. They're all important to our spiritual well-being, and the cycle keeps us from sinking too far in any one direction, or getting bored by staying in one pattern for too long. It gives us both exciting change and comforting familiarity; it keeps things balanced without settling for a bland middle ground. It takes advantage of our position as creatures who live in time to give us lots of different experiences that make us more spiritually well-rounded.

#random thought of the day #catholic things #theology of the body

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dreamlifebunny · 7 months

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Hey I wanted to ask you a question. I have a good self concept and everything and I’m manifesting that my friends are nicer to me. And ik im supposed to ignore the 3D but it’s kinda hard when they are really mean to me a lot and it’s taking quite a toll on my mental health. What do I do?

aw sweet anon, i'm so sorry that your friends aren't being nice to you :c you deserve only the deepest respect, love, and care and i am so happy you are wanting to give yourself friends who show you that! 💗

it can be hard to persist in believing that things will change when life shows you something you don't enjoy. we are taught to believe that the order is life experience → new belief forms about life and ourselves → no control about what happens to us. but with the law, we get the opportunity to change this order to be new belief in imagination → life experience. our physical experiences can be awful, but they do not have to be our true reference point. in imagination, we are limitless.

something i think we often forget when our circumstances are being cruel to us is that you don't have to pretend that the 3D is different than it is. you don't have to pretend that your heart doesn't hurt, that your friends aren't being mean to you, or that things are any different in your life. you only have to accept that this change is real in your imagination. you can imagine anything, right? if i told you to imagine an apple, you would tell me, yup, i have an apple right here in my imagination. i wouldn't then try to convince you that you actually have the apple in your hands, because it isn't there (yet). you only have to accept that you do, in fact, have it in imagination, and you have to know that accepting it in your imagination is ALL YOU NEED TO DO to make it happen in your physical reality!

you don't have to pretend that your friends aren't being rude to you, or push down your feelings of hurt, because it will only make the painful feelings bigger if you deny them. it's okay to feel the sadness and hurt of human experiences - take care of yourself in the 3D, hug yourself, and remind yourself of your worth. as long as you are accepting that in imagination they are kind to you, then that is all you need to do. in imagination, you can accept anything, right? you can imagine them apologizing to you and hearing their apology in your ears, imagine them being sweet to you, anything that implies a better situation for yourself. give yourself, in imagination, what you wish to see, and if you at LEAST believe that you can see it in your minds eye, then you can know it can and will reflect!

a tangible thing i can give you to try is revision. lets say a friend was saying really rude things to you earlier in the day and it hurt your feelings. all you need to do is go into your imagination and visualize what you experienced earlier in the day, but this time change the scene/outcome. here are some examples of what you could imagine:

your friend says something mean, and then another friend says, "hey, there is no need to be so hurtful. they didn't deserve that at all!" then hear the friend who insulted you apologizing, see them look ashamed and realizing that they had hurt you.

imagine your friend never said anything mean to you at all, and instead replace it with what you wish you could have heard. "i'm so happy you're my friend," "i'm sorry for the hurt i've caused you, you mean a lot to me," or even just all of you laughing and having fun knowing that they are kind.

anyhoo, this was a lot of words, but i hope this can help anon. please remember that you deserve the world and i promise you that you deserve only the best and that it is coming! also, please give yourself a big hug for loving yourself enough to want this change in your life. you are a good person and i am rooting for you.

#bunny's asks #love u

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sintember · 10 months

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Sintember 2023 Prompts

Sintember's 2023 prompts! Hopefully this one is a bit more legible than last time.

Remember, you can start writing as soon as these prompts are posted, but submissions will only be checked for and posted in September.

Plain text versions of the prompts and little flavour texts are below the cut.

Not again - You thought it was done, it was over. You survived, you moved on. And yet the horror continues.

Family is everything - For some, they would kill for. For others, love is what keeps them together.

You didn't need that, did you? - From limbs to food to people. Surely you can do without.

The other side - What lies in the mirror, another dimension, even after death?

Isolation - People are so vulnerable when they are left on their own.

Can't even trust yourself - Something is happening to you, and you aren't safe from what it's making you.

Liar, Liar - If we ourselves are to suffer deception, our hands are no longer tied.

Mourning - What lengths would you go to in your grief? How do you show love to the dead?

Tempest - A storm, chaos, upheaval.

No consequences - What would you do if you knew you could get away with anything?

Commitment - We bind ourselves to each other in strange ways.

Tradition - We've always done things this way….

Modernity - …..but maybe we shouldn't.

You weren't supposed to enjoy that… - Are they judging you? Really??

Consumption - Sating desires with oblivion.

The more, the merrier - Group work can be fun, I swear.

Bonus holes - Use your imagination ; )

Dichotomies - Opposites attract, and all that.

Something 'Wholesome' - Who doesn't like a little fluff in the midst of all this sinning? Or you could make it awful too.

Waiting for the fall - Are you watching your enemies with hungry eyes, or is it you teetering on the edge?

No such thing as home - Nowhere is safe, nowhere, there is nowhere to go.

A journey - You will not be the same at the end of the road.

Write what you know - Take something personal, make it monstrous.

Fate - It always happens this way, but does it have to?

This just says 'I can do what I want' - Have an idea that you think is just 'too much'? Consider this the devil on your shoulder. Show us how bad you can get.

Old wounds - Did they ever stop hurting?

Mob Mentality - It's easy to lose yourself in a crowd.

Devotion - What does your soul yearn for?

Secrets - Kept or uncovered, they can do damage either way.

True Freedom - Write whatever you want! Go nuts, show nuts, wh- *gets taken out by the Tumblr hit squad*

#sintember #sintember 2023 #sintember prompts #sintember prompts 2023

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antianakin · 2 months

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In response to your previous post, why do you think people still love Anakin despite all the selfish and violent things he has done?

Just for archival sake, this is the post I assume you're responding to.

I love when you guys force me to drop the bitter old hag act and be more legitimately analytical about characters I dislike lol.

The somewhat less analytical response to this post is that people like him due to protagonist bias, Hayden Christensen being considered attractive, and Darth Vader having a lot of nostalgia from the OT.

However, while I think those things are always a major aspect in why people like the character, the more analytical version is that Anakin is a character created to be relatable. He's got flaws that most of us can look at and recognize in ourselves and even though he does become a monster because of them, he is also capable of saving himself in the end and doing something heroic despite that, he is allowed to get better and stand next to confirmed good guys like Yoda and Obi-Wan as what seems to be equals, he is capable of being loved by someone as kind and good as Luke Skywalker DESPITE his many flaws and heinous choices. And like... that's an impressively compelling character journey, to see someone become the worst version of themselves it is possible to be and still be loved enough to make the choice to be better.

And it's not like I haven't enjoyed my fair share of selfish characters who do heinous things in my day, even within Star Wars itself. Some of my favorite characters include people like Saw Gerrera and Luthen Rael and Cassian Andor and Reva Sevander, ALL of whom made some pretty nasty choices or acted selfishly at some point or another. Reva is literally built to be a parallel and then foil FOR ANAKIN.

So it's not like I don't necessarily see the appeal of Anakin as this massively flawed character with sympathetic motivations for his immensely awful choices, someone who wanted to be good and, for a little while, WAS good, but who was led towards a dark path that he knew he shouldn't take but took anyway because he let his fears control him. Anakin making the mistakes he does is literally a cautionary tale, you're SUPPOSED to relate to him and see yourself in him, the story kind-of doesn't work if you don't in some ways.

So I think a lot of people who like him probably just see a lot of themselves in him, both good and bad. They project onto Anakin and sympathize with his motives and his struggles and, even though they know he's a screw-up, they root for him. They want him to get better because if someone like Anakin can get better, then so can they, so can we all. Anakin is a cautionary tale saying that even those of us with the best of intentions can lead ourselves down a road of selfishness if we aren't careful about our motives, but he's also a hopeful tale saying that even the WORST of us can lead ourselves back to a road of selflessness if we're willing to put in the effort. So you can feel sympathy for the first half and take strength from the second half of his story, depending on where you are in your life.

This is obviously all sort-of said in like the best faith interpretation of why people might like Anakin. There's plenty of people who like him as a power fantasy, people who see Anakin as this impressive strong character who takes down his abusers and takes control of his narrative by defying the prophecy and killing the Jedi. And, you know, everyone gets to take what they want out of stories of course, but boy do these people and I take VERY different things out of Star Wars. I curate my internet experience so I never have to have anything to do with these people, but they absolutely exist.

And at the end of the day, all of that is wrapped up in a character who, in one trilogy, is played by a very classically attractive actor who gets to kiss Natalie Portman and is occasionally funny, and in the other trilogy, is represented as this cool-looking villain in an imposing black costume with a skull helmet and cape and some memorable quotes. So while the deeper reasons for people's enjoyment of his character definitely exist, the surface-level ones are still there and can enhance that enjoyment a lot.

And I'm sure there's any number of other, smaller things that impacted people's reactions to Anakin. He was introduced as a child in TPM and so people who were expecting this young adult character already in the throes of darkness might've ended up seeing him very differently and relating to him on a whole different level. People might've ended up rooting for him because the representation of the Jedi was so far away from what they THOUGHT Jedi would be that they ended up liking Anakin simply because he's pitted against the Jedi they didn't like. Maybe some people didn't like him until TCW and they really appreciate THAT version of Anakin quite a lot, maybe especially his relationship with Ahsoka. Maybe some people just really fell for the doomed romance plotline with Padme. Maybe some people like him because Obi-Wan and Luke like him and those dynamics are intriguing to them.

But for me, Anakin has just never felt all that compelling. I was introduced to the Prequels first as a kid and I was far more invested in Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon (who were way funnier than Anakin ever was) and Padme (who had really pretty costumes). I didn't HATE Anakin by any means, but he wasn't all that funny, he didn't have the cooler action scenes for the first two films, and the romance plotline didn't hook me. I didn't mind Anakin as an accessory to Obi-Wan, but that was about as far as I went.

As I got older and more into the fandom, though, I started learning a lot more about the Jedi and why they WEREN'T the true villains of the Prequels the way everyone said they were and what Lucas's messages had actually been intended to be, and the romance with Padme just kept aging like milk, and my investment in the Jedi often meant defending them AGAINST people who saw them as no more than Anakin's abusers at worst, or a repressive society that unintentionally led Anakin to darkness at best. Arguing FOR the Jedi usually meant arguing AGAINST Anakin and pointing out all of the places HE was wrong and selfish and why the Jedi were RIGHT not to trust him. And the more passionate I got about defending the Jedi, the less and less I ended up liking Anakin. I wasn't overly invested in him in the first place, so it wasn't hard to take me from neutral to decidedly negative. Had I enjoyed him more as a kid, either in the Prequels or the Original Trilogy, maybe I would've landed in a different place with him, but I didn't. It didn't feel like any great loss to decide I didn't like him that much anymore. By comparison, I liked Padme a lot more as a kid and so even though I often find her just as selfish as Anakin, I like her a lot more usually.

So I get why people find him compelling, I really do, but he just doesn't speak to me. I highly doubt he ever will anymore.

#star wars #anakin critical #anakin skywalker critical

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olderthannetfic · 3 months

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Following on Gap Or Not Gap conversation:

Methinks part of the struggle is that, when writing is supposed to be a hobby, it's hard to see the point of struggling through the act of it, knowing you're not the very best you could (but it can feel like should) be, and all of it for… what? My own fics get positive feedback re the characters, writing, etc; betas are thumbs-up… but what jumps at me is how ridiculously iddy it all can be.

There's been improvement over the years too, both from a technical (punctuation, cohesiveness over longer and longer works) and more nebulous (imagery, for example? Probably. Hard to be objective on one's work, obviously) points of view .

But… all of that, for what? Writing advice is practice, practice, practice; write in the morning, write in the evening, write every day; it's keep an eye on grammar and keep an eye on adverbs (might be caricaturing here;-). Copy a style, use prompts, try new things, aren't you loving it? Aren't you?

It's all about getting better, and at the same time, you're exhorted to not worry about improvement, and focus your writing on your own pleasure and enjoyment. For now at least, that spark is gone; whether it's 'Art and Creation, Behold! (insert cake/more cake metaphor, which has never convinced me of anything but it's beloved)' or 'Not Art but good healthy fun :3 look how not neurotic this ficcer is!'

Are we supposed to want to improve, or are we supposed to put that thought away? Are we supposed to call it art because it's creative, or not art because it's too much pressure? We're supposed to enjoy feedback (it's connection!) but not too much (obnoxious neediness!); we're supposed to write for ourselves but sharing is important.

Yeah, yeah, there's no rule, you do you etc. But where is enjoyment? What happens, when it's more hassle than not? How do you make it fun again? Should you? There's this emphasis on being creative in one way or another, and the contradictory imperatives of It Must Be Fun and You Should Want To Improve, of This Is Real Art and This Is Just Slapped On The Page Lol.

So for me, for now, the spark is gone, and it feels empty, like there's nothing left in me to give anymore.

If it's not fun, don't bother.

I didn't consciously practice. I just did Yuletide for over 20 years and then noticed I was good enough that practicing now felt worth it.

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fizziepopangel · 3 months

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(Warning for suicide and online harassment) There is a Google document about a now deceased Radiodust shipper was that harassed over not liking Huskerdust in a discord, and the shipper committed suicide last December. A person with the username rainbowpiss34 has posted the document here on Tumblr. I thought you should know about this since you like Huskerdust.

Ok, so this was definitely something I hadn't heard of before. I know that ship wars are a thing within fandoms like this, and I know that it's not gonna be much different here in our little fandom, but I have been lucky enough to have never been in the midst of anything like this. I think civil wars like this are honestly really upsetting because fandoms like this are meant to be safe havens and happy places for most, and things like ship wars can turn it into something really ugly and honestly give the entire fandom and show a bad name. Like we're all in one fandom and we're fighting each other over which character belongs with who and bullying each other to tears over it.... It makes us all look insane and that reflects poorly on our fandom. When we start turning on each other and making our own fandom an unsafe and unwelcoming place to be like this, I think it is well past time that we take stock of ourselves and how we let our investment in what we love run us. While I myself am an avid Huskerdusk shipper, I actually like a few different ships within the Hazbin/Helluva universe, even ones that aren't canon, and I have no problem writing for most of them because that's the fun of what I do within this fandom. Everything on my page is meant to be fun; my page as a whole is supposed to be a safe, fun, and drama free space where we can all enjoy Vivzie's amazing creative hellaverse together the way she intended her shows to be enjoyed.

I hope my page continues to be a safe and fun place for us to do this, but I would also like make sure everyone knows that my dm's and asks are always open to talk about things like this, chat, or bring attention to any issues my posts may have caused so that they can be addressed before anything gets too out of hand the way the ship war mentioned in this ask did.

Stay safe, and everyone have a hellish day❤️

#fizziepop thoughts #vivziepop #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #huskerdust #radiodust #helluva boss ship #hazbin hotel ship #ship wars #shipping should be fun #make my page a drama free zone please #lets all just enjoy our fandom civilly #no fandom civil wars here

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rpedia · 3 months

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How to deal with lack of motivation to reply?

Ah, the old blank screen stare. So, for the most part I consider this issue to be several intersecting problems at the same time. Usually a lack of motivation indicates a.) a lack of fun/enjoyment, b.) low/no expectation of reward, or c.) fear or apprehension. Let's explore that under the cut.

When you are roleplaying and you're not enjoying yourself explicitly, if the journey to a finished post is not fun itself, we're kind of fucking ourselves over. Creation of these words, excitement at turning a phrase or approaching an idea you really want to explore is basically the whole gist of it. It is a hobby, and loving what you write and laughing at your own jokes is important! You are your own first audience, and if you're not impressed or pleased with what you're writing, it becomes an endless Sisyphean task where you unhappily struggle to write something, anything, to just get through it.

In this case it may be a lack of inspiration. With no structure, or core, we can really easily lose sight of what kind of play we're looking for. What are your goals? Are you here for plot, or character? For smut, or a quick playful bit of banter? Do you want to fight, or are you reaching for some overarching thing? Hell, do you know where THIS scene is headed, or does it feel like an endless trudge? These ideals disappearing or falling to the wayside for someone else can really fuck the vibe!

How are you supposed to know what to write, if you don't have any plans for the character, or don't know where they might potentially go? Like it doesn't have to be hard and fast, but understanding your characters own personal goals, fears, joys, and secrets (entirely different to you, the player) can help with motivation in writing them. I like to explore these by playing games with myself, and daydreaming about scenarios and possibilities that aren't "canon" to my character, but just let me know more about them if a similar situation were to come up. Having a library chock-full of potential what-ifs can help a ton in figuring out how to approach any actions or direction a partner may push you towards. Be excited to explore your character, and to show them off to others! This journey is soooo important to love for itself!

Like with any piece of art, not enjoying the process is a quick short-cut to burn-out and misery. So, if this is happening you might want to adjust some things if you're sitting there upset and bored instead of enjoying what should be a fun pastime you can lose yourself in! So instead of beating yourself up about posting, figure out why it's a chore. Are you taking care of yourself? Have you met the S.H.R.E.K. criteria for the day? Is this post not something in your wheelhouse, or do you feel like you could be doing something else and getting more fun out of it?

Before I get ahead of myself, let me address the truly horrific acronym I just threw at you. S.H.R.E.K. criteria? Who would inflict this on you? Well... me, because it's so memetic and stupid I remember it way better than most acronyms, so buckle up buttercup. It stands for:

Socialization: Have you talked to someone or had meaningful interactions with others for the day? Depending on your needs, you may need hugs, touching others, chatting with loved ones, or cuddling. Some people literally need to be touched, held, hugged, and talked with the thrive, and others can do just fine with a little less. Listen to the monkey studies: Don't be a wire mother to yourself, let yourself have cloth mother sometimes. Hydration: Have you been drinking enough liquids to be hydrated and keep your piss from being too yellow? No liquids means your body starts sucking at everything from getting oxygen to the brain, to making food into energy. Make sure you balance hydration with salt and food intake, but never underestimate what a good cold cup of something can do. And yes, any liquid works. Coffee is dehydrating, so is soda, but their hydrating effect is way bigger than how often they make you piddle so it balances out. Still, water is best but don't beat yourself up about it. Rest: Have you slept enough in the last 24 hours? I know you think 4-6 is okay, but it's really not, it will actually cause you to behave like an alcoholic and lead to later insomnia, mental issue worsening, and health problems like heart issues. Nip that in the bud, sleep full 8-10 hour nights. Or nap if you're just sleepy! Eat: Have you shoved nutritious food in your gob or are you dying from scurvy, beri-beri, and malnutrition simultaneously while depriving the lil dudes who help you write a good lunch? Don't starve your lil neuron folks, they need a good meal too. Even if it's just ingredients for a meal, anything is better than nothing and you deserve food. Kinetics: Have you moved around? Stretched? Walked or played? Sometimes if you're starting out from zero, you might try just standing up and sitting down a couple times to help get bloodflow going! Getting active at whatever level you're at is good for the brain.

Anyways after that interlude, back to basics. At the lowest tier we want to be having fun. If we're not, it might be us, or it might be a boring lackluster partner. That's where a lack of reward comes in. If the partner is, bless them and their hard work, just not giving you the thrills to pay the dopamine bills? That just might mean you guys aren't a good match! This is not the end of the world, it just means you might need to stop playing with them.

Step back, consider if roleplaying with their style and output is worth your time and effort, and do BOTH of you a favor if they aren't. Set them free to play with other players who love their writing and can't get enough of it, and stop grating your teeth across cement trying to come up with something to keep things you don't even like going. This is the communication part, remember how I used to harp on that? Well old Uragani still thinks it's super important. So discuss that 'hey, we might not be a great fit for writing together' and come up with solutions. Maybe finding new partners, and just staying friends, or just waving goodbye to each other and hitting the road.

Here we find ourselves looking at challenger #3, the good old fear and apprehension. This comes up more than I'd like to admit. Are you worried about what's happening next? Or how you might portray something? Have you worked yourself up too much, and now you feel like you can never meet your own expectations? Are you scared of letting down a partner, and not giving them your best? Do you feel like your post might go over an unwritten line, and leave people upset with you?

Congrats! I hate that shit too! I do not know why brains do this to us! I would like to sue!

Anxiety is a hell of a beast, so is Impostor Syndrome, and fear of letting people down, and all the other fun goodies in that bag. They can be worked on at home, in small doses. You gotta learn to sit back, and be able to talk to yourself. Why are you feeling this way, and finding the name for your emotional state, accepting it, and letting it pass through can help. In major situations, you might need to find yourself a good old Common Sense Dispenser, better known as a therapist. They have the tools you need, and yes, roleplay can be a play you find out what you need. It's not dumb, it's useful.

Working through this can be as simple as discussing your fears with your partner and making sure everything is kosher. It might need you to look at a worst case scenario and then planning an exit strategy for that, even if it never happens. Sometimes, you just gotta heft yourself up, and push through the fear. There's a million ways to get through it, and I'm not the person who can tell you which will work for you. But I can tell you, it gets better the longer you work with it. Confidence comes from experience, the more you work at it, the more it feels like second nature.

But that brings with it the last beast, the hidden #4. Burn-out. Sometimes, when we delve too deeply into something we love, we ignore the signs of burn-out. Losing interest in things we once deeply enjoyed. Feeling exhausted at the thought of starting a post, or writing anything. Feeling like we've lost touch with what we used to be good at. Burn out can be a miserable thing, because it stand between us and our goals, our happiness, and it keeps them behind the thickest glass, so we can see them, but getting them feels impossible. The harder we push, the thicker the glass becomes.

In cases of burn out, like the kind I've experienced, sometimes you need to take a step back and just do something else. Go on hiatus. Maybe it's hooked to a character, and you simply have to play with some other muse. Maybe it's with another player, and finding a new fandom without them in it can help. Maybe it's with writing at large, and you need to go find some other outlet to explore while this one heals. You cannot do the same thing forever, you will lose touch with what makes it special. Believe me.

But after healing, which can take years if you keep pushing it like some idiot who wrote RPedia long after you should stop, it'll be fun again. You'll want to come back, and do the thing you were good at, and loved again. The spark will return, and things just... settle and feel better. I promise. Just let yourself have that time to recover without pushing yourself somewhere you aren't meant to go right now.

Naturally there's other stuff too. ADHD/Autism/other issues could be throwing the executive dysfunction ball into your lap and suddenly doing the thing you've done a thousand times is impossible. Stars aren't in alignment. Maybe you're stressed out because of an external force and need a break. Maybe the thread you're in has been going on too long in the same scene, and you need to cut and start a "fresh episode" before everything stays stale forever. Maybe you just aren't in the mood! There's a million reasons, but all of them come down to figuring out what the problem is, and engaging with ways to break that problem down into bits. Find your fun. Look for partners who make you feel like writing with them is worth it. Work with your fears, and express yourself about them and let them past through you. Find external help if needed, and take care of your body while you're at it.

And hey, remember, I am not the end all be all of advice. It could totally be something outside of these circumstances, but I'd like to think that in my experience these are the major factors that I keep coming across. If any of this has been a help, I can only be happy to have said it. Thank you so much for reading!

#ask rpedia #anonymous #roleplaying #rph #rpedia #passion #writing #roleplaying advice #personal help #hey uhm #im back #oop #We'll see how long before I burn out again #hi guys though!#I'll post once every Friday until I lose steam

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poetry-protest-pornography · 6 months

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This is why I think @befuddledcinnamonroll and @heretherebedork are right about the tone of the show being set by Jade's self-image:

Everyone else is chill. They're interested in potential gossip, but they're skeptical. They look at Jade like he's being weird, because he is.

I cannot even begin to explain how freaking weird Jade is being in this scene. But everyone else is going on about their day, like there isn't a grown man biting his finger and draping himself over the railing while staring at his co-workers and mentally planning their wedding. I have to (for my own crippling second hand embarassment-anxiety, HAVE TO) imagine that this is all happening in Jade's head, and he isn't melting and doing all the things we romance and fic readers have trained ourselves to do internally so we can read about our faves in public.

So, really, it only makes sense that this show's tone is set by Jade's internal sense of self when he's on screen, because the few scenes that aren't centered on him don't carry the same over the top, cartoonish comedic tone.

And, every time Mai flirts with him -- so like, everytime they interact -- he has a moment where he lets it happen, and he enjoys it, and lets himself feel his own attraction before he remembers that he isn't supposed to like Mai.

Anywhoodle, this is all to say that I hope that he finds some chill, because he's stressing me tf out.

#middleman's love

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solarmagickstar · 3 months

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Not super into Jessie Gender, but I watched their video on "how we talk about trans men" and I've gotta say it was disappointing asf.

As a trans masc/guy I feel like I can't really have an opinion? Like for me it's like I'm too scared to be angry, like if I am it's just gonna be thrown back at me like "oh it must be those testosterone hormones coming out" or "well of course your all angry your a man" like men can't be sensitive at all or something? It's almost always said in a way to "give me euphoria" cause that's how we're supposed to treat men.

At times it really feels like we're being pushed out of queer spaces because we'll if your a guy you wouldn't wanna be a part of the marginalised group ya know cause "we're escaping to get to privilege" right?

I don't feel like our experience with gender is allowed to be expressed openly and we're absolutely not allowed to be GNC. And honestly the same could probably be said for GNC trans fems too, I don't see a lot of them either.

I feel like in Jessie gender's video they kinda didn't *actually* wanna sit with what they said originally? Like when it came to the Barbie movie I wanted to participate in the conversation of girl hood and how that's still relevant to me and how it's shaped me as the person I am today, how much I enjoyed the Ken dolls experience and how they played with masculine fashion in a way I hadn't seen in a while. But honestly I felt like well this movies for the girls so I probably shouldn't say anything.

Sometimes I wonder if we partially do this to ourselves because a lot of us keep to ourselves and don't really wanna be seen half the time. I haven't talked to the trans masc I knew since we all left Facebook, it's so lonely out here and the more I look for trans content the more I see trans fems and basically only white trans masc (with like maybe 2 poc ones but is that really all we get?) It makes me feel like I don't exist. The only places I can see poc trans masc viking or existing is on sites run by a variety of trans people or is run by a trans masc person living free.

When I see that I think, thank god your fucking real. Thank god I see someone like me thriving and existing out there.

I wanna see more of y'all, like actually see y'all, I feel like I'm fading away as more and more content keeps talking about how bad trans fems (oh and non binary but let's not define what you mean or who you're talking about we just throw them in there cause let's be more inclusive right? But only to you? Great) but the amount of trauma that's in the trans masc community is horrific and is not talked about or addressed at all.

In men's spaces there's not room for queer most of the time, so to find a place to belong and essentially get told my issues aren't as important or that trans fems ("and nonbinary" cause again you're lying to yourself by saying this even if your non-binary) then you're fundamentally missing out on our lives. I don't even feel like we have enough data on us because even the trans masc get lumped in with nonbinary or GNC like that's just fucking normal.

I remember a study was out on trans masc and GNC women about how often all of us deal with sexual assault and it's the closest I've seen and it wasn't even good findings it was depressing. I wish I could find it again. But again that study put us with GNC (pretty sure it was cis) women!

Please not this is coming from someone who's been SA'd pre and post coming out as trans. Did you know some people see us as a way to see if they're gay or bi? Like experiment on us, get us drunk and tell us we should just take it because "well you're supposed to be a man right?" We can't even get to these conversations yet and I'm worried we never will.

Do we even exist? Are we allowed to voice our opinions? Are we allowed to be mad? Are we allowed to be upset with our community? Can we do our own studies? Should we be more visible? I'm scared to, I don't wanna show my face I'm a very private person, but do I need to address that? Is that a bad thing? Is it perpetuated by my environment?

I don't know and honestly I just wanna see more variety of trans masc people, I'm scared we're just gonna stay under the radar and continue to deal with the bullshit we always have.

Ps. Jessie gender 100% did the I have a trans masc friend, no matter how much they said "I'm not doing that" they literally were doing it and there was almost no self reflection on that at all. This wasn't really the video I think they thought it was cause all it did was tell me they don't talk to us very often and that at this point I've just seen heart reacts to comments on their video's comments and not any actual responses to what anyone's said on there. It'll be a process I get it but this video was not good at all and I feel like any trans masc who's getting excited about being seen by a bigish YouTuber is like me desperate for anything validation cause that's kinda how starved we are out here tbh.

#transgender #transmasc #trans man #trans #trans guy #jessie gender #youtube #ftm #ftm trans #non bianry #nonbinary

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