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#anyways that fic was so fucking funny bc it had so many errors and the comments went IN on them
snaillock · 3 months
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i’m bored what was everyone’s first exposure to mpreg
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vwritesaus · 1 year
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      Grief is a funny thing, and it works in many ways.       For some, it harrows the soul for years and years, and ultimately makes one bitter, like Tatiana Blackthorn. It’s sometimes a dull, pounding ache deep in one’s chest, choking them despite them still breathing. Other times it’s a shroud, a veil, a piece of cloth covering a person like one does a birdcage, shutting the world out in favour of darkness and despair. And sometimes all it does is stay stagnant for a long, long time, growing and growing like a snowball rolling down a hill, until it reaches a tree and smashes into a million pieces.       For Thomas, especially in the past few weeks, grief has been a driving force to keep busy. It’s gnawed at his heart, his soul, but he’s shoved it aside in favour of making himself useful. To do anything, anything, humanly possible to spare anyone else being torn into jagged rags by these sharp shards edged with ice. He’s like his father, in that way. Perhaps he’s unconsciously picked up some habits from him for Gideon, in his worry and grief over his son’s sickly status as a child, never sat still.       And Thomas hadn’t had ample time to grieve for his sister. Barbara’s death came too suddenly, too soon. Belial’s antics to rule their world and Tatiana’s plot of revenge and malice made sure of that, eating into any sliver of a moment where he could’ve sat down and thought about his older sister; where he could have gone to Idris with his family, held his mother’s and Eugenia’s hands, and sat in silence with his father, head on his shoulder and eyes staring out the window at the demon towers of Alicante.       Now, however… now he has all the time in the world to grieve. For Barbara… for Christopher.       And for the first time in his life, Thomas doesn’t know what to do, or what to feel.
remember when i was crying over writing a fic about christopher's death in thomas's pov in hope of finding some closure? this is that fic
it hurts—fuck, it hurts—but it needs doing. thomas & co.'s grief in cot was only touched upon in regards to kit's death (and others'), and i wanna expand on it as much as i can. so heads up, this is gonna be a big puddle of feelings and very thomas-centric, but not just with his own mourning. bc thomas is thomas, he'll always go for healing other people first: alastair, gabrily, anna, sophideon... just to name a few :') this b o y istg
anyway, i mentioned this is a mutlichap, so here's a small preview from chapter 1. i'll mostly likely post the full thing tomorrow, and if not then, the day after - in which case, i'll just post another snippet haha xD i've just got the one scene left to finish hhhh
also this isn't beta-read so excuse any glaring errors/my waffley style prose lol
~
tagging people who might be interested (and those who i know have read cot lol): @drunkonimagination @astriefer @ferrari-go-vroom-vroom @ibrushmyteeth-donttellanyone @claritywithclary let me know if you’d like to be added to or removed from the tag list!!
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onceuponastory · 4 years
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Coming Back Home Chapter Two: I Am A Heart
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“I am a heart that’s hard to pin, You are an arrow sticking in” - hey ocean!: i am a heart 
Read Chapter One: Hometown here!
Plot: Six years ago, Y/N left her hometown and all its bad memories behind, and never looked back. But now, she’s come back to be the maid of honour in her sister’s wedding. Returning ‘home’ means she has to confront her past, the last thing she wants to do. When she meets the handsome best man Nick, she feels more comfortable…until her sister asks her to show Nick around town…a town that Y/N fell out of love with a long time ago.
Can Y/N fall back in love with the town she left behind, and maybe find love of her own along the way? Important: This story is based on a prompt by @orphicodysseywrites​. It’s a mix of prompts one and two from this post, so full credit for this idea goes to them! Warnings: There’s a few mentions of death in this chapter. If you’re sensitive to it and don’t want to read this chapter because of it, I totally understand <3 A/N: This is a very long chapter, almost 2,500 words long, so I hope you all enjoy it, lmao. As always, this chapter has been checked for errors, but if you see any pls do let me know. I’m going to be inactive this coming week, because I’m taking a little staycation to a place with very limited wifi, so if you send me a message/request, it might take me a while to respond. But I will respond ASAP! I will also be trying to work on chapter three/other stuff whilst I’m away, but I REALLY need this break, so pls don’t get mad if I don’t write anything.
Again, special thanks goes to my best friend Jo, aka @thesundrop​, who made this banner, and helped so much with planning this fic. Some of you may know her as @staticscreenwriting​, where she writes Billy fics. Check them out, they’re amazing!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Nick or his character! I just used Nick bc he’s the only character of Dacre’s that fits this prompt. Again, aside from Nick being in this, this fic has NOTHING to do with The Broken Hearts Gallery. But you should all go see the movie if you can, because it’s adorable!
Adjusting my hair and outfit in the mirror for what felt like the hundredth time, I sigh. “You look fine, stop adjusting your outfit...” I tell myself. “Nick’s not going to care how you look....right?” God, I’m a mess. Putting on yet more lipgloss, Jane’s voice echoes in my mind. 
“Both of you look so much like your mother. Especially you Y/N.” She was right, I did. Not that I had many memories of how my mother looked when she was still alive, but hours spent leafing through stacks of photo albums with my Nana and Katie when we were younger had made me more familiar with her and how she looked. She was gorgeous. I wish we had more time with her. If we had, our lives would be very different...and I would never have come to this town in the first place. Suddenly, I feel stinging sensation at my eyes. Aaaaand I’m crying. Great. Just what I fucking needed. A knock sounds at my door. 
“Y/N? Are you alright? You’ve been up here a while.” Nick’s voice sounds through the door. No, THIS is just what I fucking needed. Shit. Now he’s going to think I’m a total emotional weirdo who doesn’t want to spend time with him. Not that that was a TOTAL lie, I did want to spend time with him....just anywhere but here. Oh, he’s going to hate me. “If you’re not feeling well or something’s come up, we could do this another time?” Nick continues, and I sigh again. He’s so sweet. I can’t let him down. Quickly trying to stop the tears from falling, I open the door, and Nick smiles. “Hi. You look great.” I immediately blush.
“Thanks...Oh! So do you!” I gasp, trying not to seem awkward.
“Thank you.” Nick chuckles. He looks at me closer, and his eyebrows furrow together. “Are you okay? Have you been crying?” He asks. 
“Uh, no! It’s just...allergies.” I lie. “The dust in this house is terrible. So...shall we head out?” I ask, and Nick nods. The two of us walk downstairs.
“Byeeee you two! Have fun!” Katie’s voice calls from the living room. Oh, I’m sure I will. 
“So, what do you wanna do?” Nick asks as the two of us leave the house. 
“I don’t mind. I mean, we could go to the park, or for a coffee....or just, a walk in the woods?” I suggest. “Actually, maybe not the woods. There may be an axe murderer, or the big bad wolf or something.” I immediately cringe as soon as the words leave my mouth, and Nick laughs. Oh god, he’s laughing at me and how cringy I am.
“I mean, I didn’t personally think of that, but that’s a valid concern. I think we should take the park then.” He says, and I nod. “This way?” He points towards the town, and I nod. He sets off, leaving me standing there. 
Well, that went better than expected. Oh right, I better go catch up with him. 
“So, how long did you two live here?” Nick asks as we both walk closer into town. 
“Um, about...sixteen years.” I work out the maths in my head. “We moved here when I was four, and Katie was two. We both left to go to college.”
“Oh! I thought this was where you guys were born.”
“Nooo, we just call it our hometown cause we’ve lived here from such a young age. At this point, it feels like our hometown. We’re actually from New York City, and we both moved back there for college. I live there full time now. Katie’s in New Jersey.” I explain.
“Oh, what a coincidence! I live in New York too.” Nick smiles. “Small world, right?” I nod. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, why did your parents pick here to move? This place is nice and all, but it’s a lot different than New York.” He asks. A memory flashes through my mind. 
“What the hell do you expect me to do? I can’t look after them! This shithole is the best option, and you know it.” I shudder, hoping Nick doesn’t notice. 
“Um....just personal circumstances really. Our Dad wanted a change of pace and scenery for us. He thought the city was too busy for us to grow up in.” Nick nods, and I breathe a sigh of relief. Another crisis averted. I look up at the sky and see the leaves on the trees. Some were bright orange, whilst others were red. I sigh happily. “You gotta hand it to my sister, she picked one of the most beautiful times of year to get married.” 
“Yeah, beautiful.” Nick mumbles, and I look back over at him to see him looking at me. 
“What?” His eyes go wide.
“Nothing! Just agreeing with you!” He gasps, before continuing to walk. Okay, that was weird. I shrug it off and follow him down the street. After a while, we reach the park and begin to walk around together. The two of us are silent as we take in the scenery around us. The leaves crunch under our feet. I was right, this time of year really was beautiful. The cold wind blows, and I shiver. “Want my jacket?” Nick asks. 
“No thanks, I’m okay.” I smile. But come on, giving a girl his jacket? That’s so cliché...and so damn cute.
“Want to go on the swings? That might warm you up a bit.” He suggests. Another memory enters my mind.
“When’s he coming back?” I ask, tugging on her skirt. “I miss him.
“...Soon, sweetheart. He’ll be back soon. Why don’t you go and play on the swings and I’ll come over and give you a push in a minute?” She suggests, and I nod vigorously.
“Okay! See you in a minute!” I call, running towards the swings.
“Yeah, sure. Let’s go on the swings.”
~~~
A few hours later, Nick and I were in the local coffee shop, chatting about everything from our interests to our time at college. “So when do you want to practise our big dance number?” Nick asks, taking a sip of his coffee. I sigh.
“Oh right, I forgot we’re meant to plan that at some point.” Nick chuckles. “So, what song do you want to pick?” Nick shrugs.
“It’s up to you, I’m okay with whatever.” I raise an eyebrow.
“Really? I don’t think Katie would be happy if we picked something like Baby Got Back to dance to.” Nick bursts out laughing. 
“You’re right. But it would be funny. Any suggestions?” I shake my head.
“I mean there’s so many...maybe something slow? Or something more upbeat?”
“Well we have some time, so why don’t we each make a list and pick one?” He offers. I nod. “You know, I had a really nice time today...” Nick begins. I smile.
“Me too.” And I actually meant it. Despite how much I was dreading this, it went better than I expected. My phone rings, and I take it out of my bag. “Hey, Katie...Yes, I know...Okay, I’ll be back soon. Bye.” I hang up. 
“Everything alright?” Nick asks.
“Sorry, turns out I’m urgently needed for some maid of honour duties, so I gotta go. Are you okay here, or do you wanna walk back to the house with me?” Nick waves me off.
“No, don’t worry, you go on. I need to take care of something in town anyways. See you later.”
“Bye, Nick.” I leave the coffee shop, and start the walk back to the house, almost feeling a spring was in my step. For the first time since being back here, I was happy. I was comfortable. And it was all thanks to Nick. I soon reach Nana’s house and walk inside. “Helloooo!” I call.
“Well, someone sounds happy.” Katie’s voice sounds from the living room. She comes out to greet me. “Oh. My. God. Look at the smile on your face!” She gasps. 
“I had a great time with Nick today.” I explain.
“I can see that. Guess my big sister has the hots for the best man, huh?” She teases. My eyes widen.
“No, I don’t!” My cheeks flush. 
“Mhm sure. Deny it all you want, I can tell. Anyway, come on you, we need to make the centrepieces.” I wasn’t in love with Nick. I may love spending time with him, but I absolutely was NOT in love with him.
~~~
That Night
"We are here today to honour the life of Rose L/N.” The priest begins. “She was a light in the lives of many, especially her two granddaughters, Y/N and Katie, who she is survived by. For most of their lives, she was also their guardian.” 
“He’s not here.” Katie whispers in my ear. I discretely roll my eyes.
“Of course he isn’t. He stopped caring a long time ago.” I reply. I find her hand beside mine and give it a squeeze. “We have to be strong together now, like she said. It’s just us now.”
My eyes open, and I look around the room for a moment to get my bearings. I’m still in my childhood bedroom. It was just a dream. A dream featuring our past. A past I had tried to run from. Of course, it found a way to find me again. It has a funny way of doing that. My eyes drift over to the bedside table, displaying a picture of Katie and I with our Nana from many years ago. I smile softly and run my fingers over the image. “I miss you, Nana. I wish you were still here. To guide me...to guide us.” Laying back on my pillows, I sigh and hold the picture close. “Maybe if you were still here, I wouldn’t be such a mess.”
~~~
One Week Later - Fifteen Days Until the Wedding
“I’m just saying, Cinderella continues to be the best live-action Disney adaptation. It’s faithful to the story, the costumes are great, and it’s just so cute!” I exclaim, trying to stifle a yawn in the process. I was still having nightmares and barely sleeping. Thankfully, I was managing to hide it well, and nobody suspected anything. If they did, I could just lie and say I was up late working on bachelorette party plans and lost track of time. Nick laughs. “What?”
“I love that this is what you’re passionate about.” He grins.
“Well, I’m absolutely right.” I tell him, and he nods.
“Oh, absolutely.” I had a feeling that he had no idea what I was talking about, which was usually the case. But he agreed with me anyway, which I appreciated. Despite all my nightmares and bad memories, spending almost every day with Nick was helping me feel happier, and far more comfortable. It also took my mind off of my nightmares from the previous night. Nick was lovely, and I actually felt upset whenever we had to go back to the house. The fact he was gorgeous helped too, of course. Before I can say anything else, I suddenly spot the town’s bakery and walk over to the window. 
“Look at all these cakes.” I smile. “Oh my god, those cupcakes still look delicious.” I state, staring through the window at them. “My Nana used to bring Katie and me here every Friday after school, and we’d each get a cupcake. I always chose the birthday cake ones, cause it felt like we had a birthday celebration every week.” I smile fondly. “It’s one of my favourite memories of her.”
“Do you want one?” Nick asks, causing me to look over at him. “Seriously, do you want one?” He repeats, taking out his wallet. “They do look amazing. And after all, today is Friday. Can’t waste traditions.” He smiles, and his smile almost makes my heart do backflips.
“Seriously?” I ask.
“Seriously.” Nick opens the door of the bakery. I hear the wind-chimes over the door sound as we both walk in, just like they did all those years ago. The smell of baking is everywhere, filling me with a sense of comfort.
“Oh god, I remember this smell. It’s so...familiar.” I whisper to myself, closing my eyes. In that moment, I feel like I’m a little kid spending time with my Nana again. But when I open my eyes, I’m back to my real life, and the nostalgia is gone.
“I’m coming, just give me a few minutes!” Someone calls from through the back of the bakery.
“Opal?” I ask. Opal was the owner of the bakery...at least when I still lived in Saint Chase. Like Jane, she was friendly and welcoming, and every customer was her friend. She always used to sneak Katie and I samples of her new loaves of bread and cakes before we went to school in the mornings. If we liked them, they stayed. She always called us her honorary business partners. Of course, now I know she probably said that to every kid who wandered in, but it made kid me feel great.
“That’s my name, don’t wear- oh!” She gasps, immediately retreating back through the door she came from. Nick and I give each other a confused look. Rose returns a few moments later, carrying a small cake.“Katie! You look so different from the last time I saw you. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!” She grasps my hand and shakes it vigorously, then does the same to Nick’s hand. “Want to see a preview of the cake? This is in no way finished, but it’s just a small sample of the real thing.”
“Oh no, I-”
 “We’re not-” Nick and I begin, but Opal ignores us. 
"You two are going to just love it.”
“Opal! I’m not Katie!” I insist. She gasps, and her eyes go wide. “Katie is my sister. This is Nick. He’s the best man.”
“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry.” Her face goes red. Nick and I reassure her that it’s okay. “Anyway, what can I get you?” Nick and I order our cupcakes, and she rings them up for us. Nick opens his wallet to pay for them, but Opal shakes her head. “No, please, these are on me. Count it as an apology...Seriously. I’m so sorry about the mixup.”
“Well, thank you!″ Nick smiles, taking the cakes and walking towards the door. 
“Y/N...” Opal beckons me in closer, and I lean in. “I just have to say, you two are adorable together. I’m still sorry for my mistake, but honestly, you two look like a great couple.”
“We’re not-”
“Everything okay?” Nick asks.
“Oh! Yeah. Opal just wanted to ask me when we’re picking up the wedding cake.” I lie, giving Opal a pointed look. She nods vigorously. “Come on, let’s go. Bye Opal.” I say quickly, walking towards the door. She waves goodbye to us as we leave the store. Once we’re outside, Nick passes over my cake, taking a bite of his. 
“Oh. My. God.” He moans happily. “That’s incredible.” 
“Right?” I agree, taking a bite of mine. “It’s just as good as I remember.” Nick starts laughing at me again, and my eyes widen. “What? Did I say something weird?”
“You have icing on your face.” He responds. Of course I do. I’m a walking cliché, honestly. “Actually, you know what? I don’t care. This cake is that good.” I take another bite. “And besides, so do you.”
~~~
Later That Day
“That one looks like a dog.”
“A dog? No way. It looks like a hamster.”
“How the fuck does it look like a hamster?” Nick frowns.
“How the fuck does it look like a dog?” I respond, raising my eyebrow. Nick laughs. The two of us had finished eating our cupcakes (and wiped our faces), and were back in the park, drinking coffee and trying to see if we could tell what shape the clouds were.
“Guess we gotta agree to disagree.” I smile. “Even though I’m totally right.”
“Of course you are.” He says sarcastically, and I gasp in mock annoyance. But I don’t detect any malice from his comment...well, I hoped he wasn’t actually annoyed with me or anything, but he didn’t seem to be. Like I said before, I felt comfortable with Nick. Even though we had met a week ago, it felt like the two of us could joke with each other to our hearts content, neither meaning anything bad by it. It was weird how close we were, despite not knowing each other for that long.  “Uh, Nick?” I ask, looking up again.
“Mhm?”
“Do those ones look like rain clouds, or is that just me?”
“I think you’re right, it’s-” The heavens open before he can even finish his sentence. “Oh god, okay, come on, I saw a bike shed or something over there, we can hide out there until it stops.” Nick tells me, quickly taking his jacket off and throwing it at me.
“What’s this for?!” I ask.
“What do you think it’s for?! It’s to hold over our heads!” Nick shouts. “Now come on, let’s go.” He holds out his hand, and I take it. He pulls me up. “Ready to run?” He asks. I nod. The two of us begin running through the park, holding Nick’s jacket over our heads with one hand each. We laugh as we run, trying to avoid slipping on the damp leaves or falling over. We soon reach the shelter, and Nick and I jump under it. The shelter is small, so our bodies are pressed up close against each other. I’m aware of the scent of his cologne again. Nick’s body is warm against mine as he wraps the jacket around my shoulders. 
“You don’t have to give me your jacket.” I protest, but he insists.
“Don’t be silly. What would your sister say if I made her maid of honour catch a cold?” He asks.
“The same thing she’d say if the best man caught a cold.” I reply, trying to take the jacket off. Nick reaches out, gently placing his hands on my arms, stopping me. It feels like electricity runs up my arms as he touches them.
“Y/N, don’t worry about it. Honestly.” The two of us stand there, Nick still holding onto my arms. But it feels good. It feels...right. Nick keeps looking at me. 
“Do I still have some icing on my lips?” I ask. Nick shakes his head. 
“God, you’re so beautiful.” He mumbles loud enough for me to hear. Whether I was supposed to hear it or not, I wasn’t sure. Nick leans closer to me, and my brain immediately goes:
“He’s going to kiss me. Oh my god, he’s going to kiss me. Do I even want him to kiss me?” And I realise that...I think I do want him to kiss me. Nick’s head moves closer to mine, and my head rises up to meet his. But just as our lips are about to touch, my phone rings, causing us to break apart. Dammit. I take my phone out, seeing Katie’s name flash on the screen. She always has the best timing. “Hey Katie. What’s up? ...Yeah it’s raining really badly. Yeah, a lift back would be great. We’re at the park. Okay, see you soon. Love you too. Bye.” Hanging up, I sigh. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Nick responds. However, despite him saying that, it still felt like the air around us had changed. It wasn’t like we could go back to where we left off either, because everything felt awkward now.
Shit.
~~~
That Night
“Be good for your Daddy, okay Y/N?” She bends down and presses a kiss to my forehead. I nod. “I know I can trust you to help him look after your sister, right?”
“Of course, Mommy!” She grins, and pulls me in for a tight squeeze.
“There’s my smart girl.  I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I nod again.
“Have fun, Mommy!” I call, as she walks out of the door. And then, she was gone. The image changes into something else. “Daddy? Where’s Mommy? Why are you crying?” He blinks rapidly and bends down to my eye level.
“Mommy’s had to go, sweetie.” He explains.
“But...but where? She was meant to take me to kindergarten!” He looks away from me.
“I’m sorry. Your mommy’s an angel...she’s not coming back.”
Gasping, I sit up in bed again, looking around the room. My heart is racing. “It’s just a bad dream...Just a bad dream...” I tell myself, trying desperately to calm myself down. Getting out of bed, I cross over to the window, trying to ignore my shaking hands, and peek out at the night sky. Rows and rows of trees disappear into the darkness. “It’s not real. She died almost twenty years ago. It’s just a bad dream.” Clenching my fists, I furiously wipe at my eyes. "Dammit!” I curse.
I hadn’t had nightmares about the death of our mother in at least fifteen years. I thought I was finally getting better. Of course, life had other ideas. “I knew I should never have fucking come back here.” I hiss. That’s why still had bad dreams, because I was back here. I should’ve said no and ran when I had the choice. No, no, that’s stupid. Of course I couldn’t have said no. I could never let Katie down. God knows life let us down enough times already. No, I need to stop blaming the town for my problems. It’s my fault. I thought I was ready and healed, but obviously, I’m not. God, I need a drink. 
Trying to be as quiet as possible, I leave my room and tiptoe downstairs to the kitchen, using my phone torch as a light source. Once I reach the kitchen and flash my light into the room, I almost jump out of my skin when I see a figure sitting at the kitchen table.
“Hey, I- Y/N?” Nick blinks his eyes, clearly startled by the bright light of my phone.
“Jesus Christ Nick! I thought you were a fucking murderer!” I gasp. He frowns.
“A murderer...who sits at the kitchen table? Anyway, why are you up so late? It’s like 2am!” I switch the light on. 
“I could ask you the same thing. Why are you here scaring the life out of me at 2am?” He holds up some paper. 
“Best man’s speech. I had a stroke of genius and decided to write some of it.”
“In the middle of the night? In the darkness? And people say I’m weird.” Nick chuckles. I cross over to the cupboards and get out some mugs to make tea. “Want some tea?” I ask, and he nods.
“Anyway, you didn’t answer my question. What brings you here at this hour?”
“Oh I just love hanging out with men in kitchens at 2am, didn’t Katie tell you?” I tease, filling the kettle and putting it on to boil. Nick laughs. I can’t tell him the truth. Then he would think I was weird. “But seriously. Couldn’t sleep.” I mean, that wasn’t a total lie. Nick didn’t have to know the truth. “How’s the speech going?”
“Ehhh?” Nick responds. I turn back to him and raise an eyebrow. “Not well.”
“I can tell.” The kettle finishes boiling, and I pour the water into the mugs. “But I’m here now, so you have an extra person to help you.”
~~~
One Hour Later
“Y/N...Y/N?” I hear someone whispering. Is someone....nudging me? I look up. Why was my head on the table? I notice that Nick has scooted closer to me. Is he the one nudging me?
“Mmm, Nick...whashappenin?” I mumble. 
“You fell asleep.” He explains. I shoot up in my seat and rub my eyes. 
“What?!” I gasp. “Why didn’t you wake me up?! I was meant to be helping you with your speech!” 
“It’s alright, don’t worry.” Nick reassures me. “You looked really tired, so I thought I’d let you sleep. You sure you’re okay?” He asks. Before I can say anything in response, I yawn. “Guess that answers my question. I think you should go to bed.” I shake my head.
“Nope. I’m not....” I cut myself off with another yawn. Nick gives me a look. “...Okay, maybe I’m a little bit tired.” I admit.
“Mhm. Come on, let’s get you to bed.” He helps me up. I protest, but he continues to do so. “Y/N, trust me. You need some sleep. You’ll thank me later.” I realise he’s probably right. So, I let him lead me upstairs and into my bedroom, his hand resting on the small of my back. “So uh....can you take care of yourself from here?” He asks. I chuckle softly and nod.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thanks Nick.” I smile. “Goodnight.”
“Night Y/N.” 
~~~
The Next Morning - Thirteen Days Until the Wedding
“You invited Great Aunt Hilda? Seriously? All she’s going to do is talk about her cats.” 
“That’s why she’s sitting with you. At least you’ll have something in common.” Katie jokes. I jokingly punch her in the arm. “Hey!” She laughs. The two of us were spending the day arranging seating charts and finalising the seating plan. So far, it was all going well, and we managed to make it fun. “Oh, god.” Katie wrinkles her nose. “I forgot both Uncle Chris and Aunt Pamela said yes, AND they’re bringing plus ones. That’s gonna be rough.”
“I’m sure it’ll be okay. Didn’t they get divorced like three years ago?” I ask.
“Yeah, but I don’t think Aunt Pam’s gonna be a fan of his plus one....” She raises her eyebrows suggestively.
“Oh right, he dumped her for his secretary, the one with the big boobs, didn’t he? Are they still together?”
“Yuuuup. She’s the plus one.”
“Better sit those two as far away from each other as possible then...” I mumble, trying to arrange the tables on my side of the chart as best as I can. Studying the rest of the little figures representing people, I frown, seeing one I haven’t seen before. One I definitely did not expect to see. I pick it up, and my eyes go wide. “Uh, Katie?”
“Mhm?”
“...Why does our Dad have a seating place?”
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lesbeet · 4 years
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not to be a nerd but i accidentally just wrote a whole impromptu essay about editing ndjsdksksk im throwing it under a cut bc it's fucking inane and really long but honestly... i just want other people to become as passionate about editing as i am lmaooooo
i also recommend 2 books in the post so if anything at least check those out!
quality books about editing... *chef's kiss* a lot of the basic ones (including blog posts online n such) are geared towards beginners and end up repeating the same info/advice, much of it either oversimplified or misrepresented tbh. but i read one yesterday and i'm reading another one right now that really convey this passion for editing + consideration for it as its own sort of art and i just!!
it's such a weird thing to be passionate about lmao but i AM and i've spent a lot of time the past year or so consciously honing my craft (ik i mention this like 4 times a week i'm just really proud of how much i've learned and improved) and kind of like. solidifying my instincts into conscious choices i guess?
and these GOOD editing books have both a) taught me new information and/or presented familiar information through a new perspective that helped me understand something differently or in more depth, and b) validated or even just put into words certain preferences or techniques that i've developed on my own, that i don't normally see on those more basic lists i mentioned
btw the book i finished yesterday is self-editing for fiction writers: how to edit yourself into print by renni brown and dave king, and the one i'm reading currently is the artful edit: on the practice of editing yourself by susan bell.
the former was pretty sharp and straightforward. the authors demonstrated some of their points directly in the text, which was usually funny enough that i would show certain quotes to my sister without context
("Just think about how much power a single obscenity can have if it’s the only one in the whole fucking book." <- (it was)
"Frequent italics have come to signal weak writing. So you should never resort to them unless they are the only practical choice, as with the kind of self-conscious internal dialogue shown above or an occasional emphasis."
or, my favorite: "There are a few stylistic devices that are so “tacky” they should be used very sparingly, if at all. First on the list is emphasis quotes, as in the quotes around the word “tacky” in the preceding sentence. The only time you need to use them is to show you are referring to the word itself, as in the quotes around the word “tacky” in the preceding sentence. Read it again; it all makes sense.")
and like i said, i also learned some new ideas or techniques (or they articulated vague ideas i already had but struggled to put into practice), AND they mentioned some suggestions that ive literally never seen anyone else bring up (not to say no one has! just that ive never seen it, and ive seen a lot in terms of writing tips, advice, best practices, etc) that ive already sort of established in my own writing
for example they went into pretty fine detail about dialogue mechanics, more than i usually see, and in talking about the pacing and proportion of "beats" and dialogue in a given scene, they explicitly suggested that, if a character speaks more than a sentence or two and you plan on giving them some sort of dialogue tag or an action to perform as a beat, the tag or action should be placed at one of the earliest (if not the first) natural pauses in the dialogue, so as not to distance the character too far from the dialogue -- bc otherwise the reader ends up getting all of the dialogue information first, and then has to go back and retroactively insert the character, or what they're doing, or the way they look/sound while they're giving their little speech
and like this was something ive figured out on my own, mostly bc it jarred me out of something i was reading enough times (probably in fic tbh) that i started noticing it, and realized that it's something i do naturally, kind of to anchor the character to the dialogue mechanic to make sure it makes sense with the actual dialogue
so like. ok here's an example i just randomly pulled from the song of achilles (it was available on scribd so i just looked for a spot that worked to illustrate my point djsmsks)
the actual quote is written effectively, but here's a less effective version first:
“Perhaps I would, but I see no reason to kill him. He’s done nothing to me," Achilles answered coolly.
see and even with such a short snippet it's so much smoother and more vivid just by moving the dialogue tag, not adding or cutting a word:
“Perhaps I would, but I see no reason to kill him.” Achilles answered coolly. “He’s done nothing to me.”
the rhythm of it is better, and the beat that the dialogue tag creates functions as a natural dramatic pause before achilles delivers an incredibly poignant line, both within the immediate context of the scene and because we as the readers can recognize it as foreshadowing. plus, it flows smoothly because that beat was inserted where the dialogue already contained a natural pause, just bc that's how people speak. if you read both versions aloud, they both make sense, but the second version (the original used in the novel) accounts for the rhythm of dialogue, the way people tend to process information as they read, AND the greater context of the story, and as a result packs significantly more purpose, information, and effect into the same exact set of words
and THAT, folks, is the kind of editing minutia i can literally sit and hyperfocus on for hours without noticing. anyway it's a good book lmao
the one i'm reading now is a lot more about the cognitive process/es of editing, so there's less concrete and specific advice (so far, anyway) and more discussion about different mental approaches to editing, as well as tips and tools for making a firm distinction between your writer brain and your editor brain, which is something i struggle with
but there have been so many good quotes that ive highlighted! a lot of just like. reminders and things to think about, and also just lovely articulations of things id thought of or come to understand in much more vague ways.
scribd won't let me copy/paste this one bc it's a document copy and not an actual ebook, but this passage is talking about how the simple act of showing a piece of writing to someone else for the very first time can spark a sudden shift in perspective on the work, bc you'll (or at least i) frantically try to re-read it through their eyes and end up noticing a bunch of new errors -
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or she talked about the perils of constant re-reading in the middle of writing a draft, which is something i struggle with a LOT, both bc i'm a perfectionist and bc i prefer editing to writing so i sit and edit when i'm procrastinating doing the actual hard work of writing lmao
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it's just this side of fake deep tbh but i so rarely see editing discussed like this--as a mixture of art and science, a collaboration between instinct and technique, that really requires "both sides of the brain" to be done well.
and because of the way my own brain works, activities that require such a balanced concentration of creativity and logic really appeal to me. even though ive seen a lot of people (even professional writers) who frame it as the creative art of writing vs the logical discipline of editing. but i think that's such a misleading way of thinking about it, because writing and editing both require creativity and logic -- just different kinds! (not to mention that the line between writing and editing, while mostly clear, can get a little blurry from up close)
but like...all stories have an inner logic to them, even if the writer hasn't explicitly or consciously planned it, and even if the logic is faulty in places in the first couple of drafts. when you're sitting and daydreaming about your story, especially if you're trying to figure out how to bridge the gap between two points or scenes (or, how to write a sequence of events that presents as a logical, inevitable progression of cause and effect), the voice in your head that evaluates an idea and decides to 1) go with it, 2) scrap it, 3) tweak it until it works, or 4) hold onto it in case you want it later? that's your logic! if an idea feels wrong, or like it just doesn't work, it's probably because some part of you is detecting a conflict between some part of the idea and the overall logic of your story. every decision you make as you write is formed by and checked against your own experiential logic, and also by the internal logic of your story, which is far less developed (or at least, one would hope), and therefore more prone to the occasional laspe
but while ive seen a number of articles that discuss the logic of writing, i don't see people gushing as much about the art of editing and it's such a shame
the inner editor is so often characterized as the responsible parent to the writer's carefree child, or a relentless critic of the writer's unselfconscious, unpolished drivel
and it's like... maybe you just hate thinking critically about your work! maybe you view it that way because you're imposing external standards too fiercely onto your writing, and it's sucked the joy out of shaping and sculpting your words until they sing. maybe you prefer to conceive of your writing as divine communication, the process of which must remain unencumbered by lessons learned through experience or the vulnerability of self-reflection, until the buzzkill inner editor shows up with all those "rules" and "conventions" that only matter if you're trying to get published
and like obviously the market doesn't dictate which conventions are worth following, but the majority of widely-agreed-upon writing standards, especially those aimed at beginners, (and most especially those regarding style, as opposed to story structure) have to do with the effectiveness and efficiency of prose, and, in addition to often serving as a shorthand for distinguishing an amateur from a pro, overall help to increase poignancy and clarity, which is crucial no matter the genre or type of writing. and even if you personally believe otherwise, it's better to understand the conventions so you can break them with real purpose.
so editing shouldn't be about trying to shove your pristine artistic masterpiece into a conventional mold, it should be about using the creative instincts of your ear and your logic and experience-based understanding of writing as a craft to hone your words until you've told your story as effectively as possible
thank u for coming to my ted talk ✌️
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tomstanleyy · 4 years
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happy 1st (belated) birthday sweetener!!!!!!🥺🤩can’t lie this fic is my main source of happiness so just wanna day a big fat thank you to miss @keepingupwiththeparkers for that! i feel like i’m like this fics..... godmother.....? or something like that i dunno, either way i’m definitely waaay to invested in this story but sometimes it be like that😌😌 anyway, i just wanted to say some of my fave bits and/or chapters bc i mean....... godmother duties✌🏼 (the fact i have fully claimed the title as godmother of a fan fiction is flashing neon-light sign that i am too invested but idgaf x)
the mood board is so hella sexy so that’s fun
speaking of sexy…... barista!tom in the first chapter HELLO KIND SIR
never have i ever, i mean just FUCK OFF? MAYBE? i dunno? go awaY? it’s just like there first like interaction that ISNT at the cafe and it’s so perfecto!!!!!!! him moving her out the way with his hand on her back MMMmMmmMmM and then the weird tention between them with the game OH AND when he thinks she there bc she wants to get with haz and he’s lowkey pissed off;) ugh DIVINE KATIE
lmao chance encounters, BOY!!!!!!!! his mini panic in the door way jsjsks and then like the whole viBeS i dunno!!!!!! cute!!!!! OMG and when he’s staring at her and harrison kicks him!! NOooooo!!!!! n then tom pouring his tea away just so he can see her for a minute….. the softest boy eva. it’s not up for debate
the one at the library is just like….. a classic😍 OK yano the selfie tom put on his story with messy hair and grumpy face? ya i wanna see that pls thank you. she brings him coffee and they watch MEMEZ!!!!!!!!!!! i die :( and then THEY HOLD PINKES FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!! N THEN THE LITTLEST CUTEST KISS EVER byeee byeeeeee
Wishful Thinking and Words of Wisdom… yo the convo between haz and tom in this chapter is so important to me lmaooo like there banta and shit just makes me so happy bc there not prick there just…… Dumb Boys u no? OOoohH and ofc his sex dream about her which NEEDS to be brought up again!!!!! and then him trying not to look at that little bit of skin where the blanket had ridden down and trying not to look at her pants when she moved her leg in the carrrrr!!! and the cheek kiss jsjsj!! just too good and too much crying to be done over it
The Snap is like as they said “what got it all going” lmaoooo OKAY can i just say the fact she didn’t fucking explode when he replyed with THAT photo and ‘gorgeous x’ is a miracle imo🤷‍♀️
aw omgggg Look At Me Now…… SO CUTE🥺 like it all flowed so well (so do the other chapters but this had like quite a lot of dialogue in it i think and it was just like …. smooth af) toms lol scene in the bathroom is so fucking funny to me bc i love he and his thought prosess lmao and then the Holding Hands Dilemma hahahahahah AND THE RUDE MAN WHO DIDNT SAY THANK YOU!!!! the thought of them in there little outfits walking up to the bus stop holding hands is…… too much. and then……….. the kiss…… just……. THE kiss. where he moves her hair and her lips r all sparkly and just it’s so perfect and i cry
okaY…….. Hoodie and Hormones…… they🥺 it’s just like them being all drunk and cute and when she walks up to him and he goes all 😍🤤 and his pals are all oiiiiiii lmao and there kiss at the bar 😰 nah😰 and at the end where he gives her his hoodie and like has his hand on her hip under it :(((( stop i cannot :((((
i mean………. the nineteenth hole….. katie katie KATIE!! you went HARD (so did he👀) firstly, the golf bit is so nice like them chatting away and him looking at her bum and her touching his bum oop and then like OMG him putting his hand on the headrest when he reverses lmaooooo heee!!!........ and then like…… my life changed forever🙃🙃bc i still havent recovered tbf…… there’s too much to say bc it’s all my fave part!!!! he was just so like reassuring and like safe but also like S E X Y lmaooo
awakenings….. she was a lowkey stressful one phahaha but also high key cute and sexyyyy like they wake up spooning (him squashing her) mand after weewees they have more snuggles and then…… he goes down on her and like she’s in her sexy little pj set and it’s all too much lol…… but then he suddenly HaS tO gO hOmE!!!! n then she sees Kim’s instagram and that he’s with her and DUN DUN DUN……. gonna have to wait a fucking month and a half to find out what happens🥰🥰 (i’m joking ily)
*longest month and a half of my life over* QUESTIONS AND ANWSERS!!!!!!!!! okay this was a cutie tho :((( he got his hair cut which was sad but also not bc FFH PRESS HAIR HELLO!!!! they have a little smooch and then he has boner and then she’s like NOPE HOW MANY PEOPLE WAS UR DICK IN BEFORE IT WAS IN ME HUH? but yh i do love he had a semi while they where having a deep chat lmaoo but ALSO his soft Boy was showing when he was talking about that weird date and she was playing with his hands 😭😭leave me alone. cya. OMG n then sexy times…… this was very GOOD sexy times bc it had been a while for them lol…… n then the pizza man came and then she feel asleep on him and then i stop so i can sob xxxxx
oooh deja vu!!!!!!! she was a long boy but a very good boy also, tom being a brave soul in the library lmao and then the smut was like Legendury lmao bc they went on the floor OOH and when she had already come like twice and he flipped her over like ME NOW PLS!!  it was just all in all a 100000/10 chapter rly
taste of freedom was when i feel like they got close close like THAT was when they knew they where gonna be like besties as well🥺like eating maccies in the car and then tom couldn’t come in bc he knew he would fall asleep and he had exams the next day. uwu. ooooop i loveee this smut lmao it’s just very good lol. the angles he be hitting at also where fun and spicey so ya OMG when he holds her legs down i just wanna screammmmnmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg and then they have a lil nap and a cuddle :((( which was just too far and too painful for me
good vibes and good times….. she was a vibe wasn’t she (literally not even a bit funny)...... but yh like she’s pm sat on him on the sofa which is all snuggley n then smooches with his hand like in her hair and then his FACE when he finds It polite cat mode lmaoo and then he’s being a little shit when he won’t give it back to her!!!!! n then when they meet at the club they have a big hug and then they eat chips togther and she can’t stop looking at the little devil horns in his hair lnao mood tho
hOKAYY falling, falling is a cracker bc i risked my life to fights for toms blow job lmao ur welcome boy x but yes very nice kt although the phone call at the end was a bit 👀👀but they’re cool it’s all cool
erm clarity was just offensive lmao like THE SMUT was just RUDE and i’m still SAD about it quite frankly 😌 tom being all sweaty when they have the Chat and him wheeling across the floor lmao but then like the smut and him going down on her YO AND THEN ‘can i smack ur arse’ IM NOW ONE WITH THE CLOUDS!!!!! CYA!!!! aw okay but then the shower smooches and his CURLY HAIR and at the end chilling and talking about rugby when she’s playing with his hair😭noooooooooo
omg ok i just reread trial and error and Okay u KnOw i adore sleepy tom 🥺🥺 hes just so babie!!!!! her saying to him ‘early night for you then’ get the fuck out of here!!!!!!! and then the HELLO KISS I CRY!!!!! n then obvs like …. THE WHOLE SMUT YES PLS!! especially him being so comforting when she’s like not sure AND later when he’s like i’m sorry i’m tired and hungover and she’s like it’s okayyyyyy! *sobs* n then somone comes home and tom is going to explode lmao and then he like collapses her and she’s like help i can’t breathe :( and then he spoons her and has a little sleep,,,,,, it’s safe to say i’m very upset
katie….. you know my thoughts on the match but i swear i will never shut up about it lmao i’m so sorry…….. everything is so uwu like snuggle in the morning and then the sweetest sexy times EVA and then tom wanting to be invisible when her and haz are talking lmao that still cracks me up…….. and then like i take a break so i can go to the bathroom and cry 😭😭 bc babie got a booboo!!!!!!!&!& but fr ‘she’s my girlfriend’ just made me wanna yeet of a bridge stg AND THEN THE WAITING ROOM SCENE!! OFC!!!!! HELP?!?! n then the forehead kiss and then 🥺😍😍🥺🥺🥺😍🥺😍🥺😍🥺😭😭😭😭😍🥺
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ziracona · 4 years
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One aspect I find fascinating about your fics is that Meg and a lot of the other characters are pop culture savvy, but also live in a universe where some of the most popular horror characters were real people. So, how do you think they would've reacted to meeting Nancy and Steve, who come from a universe where Michael, Laurie, and Freddy are all horror movie characters?
Ahhh thank you so much! I’m really glad you liked that. Pop culture was a really big element for a lot of the cast, & it is kinda funny I guess that several of them /are/ core horror pop culture.
So, this is kind of a hard one for me to answer, because I didn’t do ILM canon like DbD official canon. I do explicitly reference Stranger Things as fiction in Nearly Departed, but that was because I had not the foggiest clue DbD would /add/ a Stranger Things chapter—both because it’s super new and ongoing unlike their other horror “classic” staples, & because I wouldn’t even really call Stranger Things horror. I had been so damn careful 😂—I think the only horror film I name is Friday the 13th, which felt safe at the time because it’s got its own similar game & thus seemed unlikely to give DbD rights. If I had included Nancy & Steve, I would have gone back and replaced that segment with something similar, and just had ST exist in the same world as Halloween, NOES 2010, and Saw/all of the ILM cast. It’s the best solution, and you really don’t have to change any of the stories to do it. All that would have to change is that in this version of ST, Max wore a different Halloween costume, & three lines of dialogue are different. Fundamentally it’s exactly the same world. I know that’s maybe not the most exciting answer TuT, but it’s what I’d have done for a few reasons. Ima drop the rest under a read more bc I go way into writing & a little w horror meta tho: 💙
For one, it’s just kinda sad. It lowers the storytelling stakes because even a best-case scenario would be kind of a letdown for everyone. Not as much to gain: Not as much to lose. So, sad emotionally & kinda less motivating story-wise. Like, if any version of a happy ending even hypothetically would always mean these people who have bonded through years of self sacrifice and friendship and trauma and growth either /never/ see each other again, or go to one world together where only maybe one person would ever get to see their OG family again, and might also have to suffer with seeing their life as a film on that planet? Joked about, critiques, not taken seriously, no privacy? That’s just. It’s not a happy ending, or a satisfying one, even for the characters to /fight/ for, regardless of if they can win it or not. 
I’m aware that official DbD is multiverse, and there’s no assurance for even say Claudette and Meg being from the same world, let alone the world Halloween happens in, and was when I started writing. I just elected to ignore it. The devs even also explain a lot of the cosmetics as “alternate world versions” of the characters, instead of just fun costumes. I personally think that’s silly? And I’ve really never liked the multiverse decision. I got nothing at all against multiverse stories—they can be amazing—but you’ve got to have a reason if you do, and as far as I can tell, the only reason DbD is multiverse was so the Devs could release a bunch of classic horror characters into their game without worrying about continuity, which is lazy & not a great reason to pick multiverse. It can be great for stories, but in DbD, it would if anything just detract from the reality of the situation & the storytelling? Like, if I showed up in a hell pocket universe, and Michael Myers was there, it would be hard to take that situation entirely seriously, and it would fundamentally change how I interacted with others & they with me. If I knew his history, I’d use that to try to get through to him (what’s the worst that’ll happen? I’ll die like I do every day anyway?), but it would also be just weird & hard for people to relate. Like, if Steve Harrington has had conversations with a buddy about Laurie Strode being careless for not double-tapping her dead assailant & thinks of her as Jamie Lee Curtis & in some ways knows more about her life & family & universe than she does, but knows it all as an element of fiction? And at the same time, Kate’s seen Steve’s actor do interviews & play other roles and caught continuity errors in his /life/ while watching ST??? Hypothetically, someone /could/ unpack all that to tell a story, & maybe a fan has, but the Devs/game really, really haven’t, and in most instances, it’ll just mess up the characters’ abilities to relate to each other as human beings, as well as being miserable for the ones told they’re just characters from horror films in other people’s worlds.
The way DbD is set up really doesn’t lend itself to the kind of meta character vs humanity, role relationships between fiction & life narrative of, say, The Final Girls. Really all it does is make the world less real feeling. Less whole, more artificial. Less to be taken seriously, less belief willing to be suspended. Why are Laurie & Quentin fake in someone’s world? Does Meg not being in a story in Quentin’s universe mean she’s more real? It’s just messy. Multiverse is fine, but if you pick multiverse solely to make your job easier, at the cost of a more coherent, real, and engagable story (@ Devs >.>) that’s lazy/bad writing. I’ve read & enjoyed multiverse stories, but I’d never write DbD that way, bc I’d need a reason to, and I don’t have one. There was really no need for the devs to feel like they had to either, except pure ease w no work at all thinking about how or needing to explain anything, and I wish they hadn’t. : /
Like. Technically, Halloween & Scream shouldn’t be in the same canon—Halloween H20 plays a chunk of Scream 2 on TV, Scream 1 they’re watching Halloween 1978 & Scream 4 Sidney is asked “Who are you? Michael fucking Myers?” When she survives a murder attempt. But that’s not a big deal. It’s not a pivotal piece of world building and canon for either franchise. Scream is not fundamentally different if Randy is watching Friday the 13th or even some made up film, instead of Halloween. On top of that, a lot of horror references each other for fun and as tribute and I’m a huge nerd who adores this tradition. 😂 Scream & Halloween are so tight as franchises by the time Halloween H20 was released, that it actually uses chunks of Scream’s OST. It’s much better narratively for DbD if they’re all from one world, and in a way, it’s just a cool next step to the preexisting horror friendship metas between a lot of films. It’s really fun to figure out how they’d function together in one universe.
Anyway, that was long but I have so many thoughts on DbD & writing thank you for giving me an excuse to gush!! And thank you again for the compliment. I’m really happy you like my writing. It means a lot. 💙
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