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sixinchrainbowheels · 7 years

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so you’ve heard of the cheerleader!neil au where he used to cheer (if you’ve never heard of it check it out here) but are you ready for

the au where he never stopped

alternately titled the vixen!neil au

- he’s a good cheerleader, okay. gOOD. the vixens’ coach knows it. his high school coach knows it, despite how much he tries to hold back.

- he pretended to not know how to do a back handspring at the first practice.

- he tried so hard.

- then he realized they wouldn’t let him on the team without one and miraculously learned it.

- neil josten is Not Smooth

- he never stops pretending not to know things

- his coach never stops being Tired of His Shit

- anyway, he’s scouted by the Vixens’ coach at a Millport game where they’re doing halftime- since it was just a halftime performance where no one would care he mAY have done some killer tumbling passes in the spur of the moment

- cue high school coach groaning in the background

- “goddamnit neil you TOLD ME YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THOSE REBOUND JUMPS EVEN WERE”

- anyway my son here gets somewhat forcibly recruited in a similar situation to Wymack’s attempt but involving abnormally sharp stilettos and an attempt at suffocation via pom-poms

- his reasoning is basically “yeah ok i shouldn’t be in the spotlight but hey i’m not playing exy. no one will suspect a thing. this is literally cheerleading.”

- i mean really, no one cares about competitive cheerleading except cheerleaders. this is a great plan.

- also, he’s somewhat in the exy loop and knows that kevin is at palmetto state. neil is so glad he isn’t going for exy. that would be terrible. he can’t even IMAGINE how awkward it would be to be on a team with that guy he was with that one time his dad sliced up a guy in front of them

- that would be awful

- so yeah neil’s a vixen now

- the only guy on the team r i p

- poor boy is picked on so much by the coach because yOU ARE THE SOLE PRODUCER OF TESTOSTERONE FOR THIS CLUSTERFUCK OF PANSY ASS COLLEGE STUDENTS AND HEY YOU’RE NOT FUCKING ALLOWED TO COLLAPSE GET UP

- she loves him and shows it through forcing him through ten laps every time he fucks up

- as it turns out he’s a pretty Okay flyer but like…not the very best so he doesn’t do it often

- but his tumbling passes

- oh his tumbling passes *sigh*

- kinda like this

- he can do crazy stuff ok like he starts out with like half speed and these freaking summer practices are bringing it uP

- so eventually school starts and of course people see him, the one guy on the team, and many assume he’s either banging half the team or gay

- he does nothing about rumors about him unless directly confronted, in which case he usually brings out the “i don’t swing” spiel

- the one time someone tries to make fun of him is the most likely time for it- the girls dragged him out shopping. he’s in a pink convertible with like, 10 girls and an obscene amount of shopping bags

- they picked him up after practice with “get in loser we’re going shopping”

- he didn’t actually get in, one of the larger-built back bases picked him up and just threw him in like he weighed nothing

- but anyway someone yells some generalized “you’re gay lol” type insult at him

- and these girls are on him in a s e c o n d

- the poor guy needed 15 bags of ice for all the burns

- afterward they were talking and some girls were talking about how apparently they were too affectionate and people thought they were dating and one was like “maybe it’s because i have a big L E S B I A N CRUSH ON YOU” in a very sassy, janis ian way and everyone laughs and poor neil is so confused and they were like “what? you don’t get it?”

- long story short, neil has like twenty new outfits and a disgusting amount of eyeliner and vixen movie night became a thing and the season hasn’t really even started

- he eventually meets the Foxes when Dan and the Vixens’ captain decide they don’t have enough camaraderie and the first fox-vixen get together is arranged in the basement of fox tower

- the foxens

- neil babbles about exy for ages and all the foxes are surprised about how much he knows

- the vixens are not

- they put up with him for the entire summer. when it wasn’t cheer it was exy. always one of the two.

- wow did you see nationals? I can’t believe how well mason’s flyer pulled off that triple- “NEIL” you guys were at last year’s third game? andrew minyard was so- “nEILLLL”

- anyway, he’s a bit awkward around kevin because you know that thing but kevin doesn’t recognize him. it’s great. he talks strategy for ages; he’s been watching their games and has been dying to chat about ways to improve on what he’s seen of the team or strategize

- kevin is surprised at first but he ends up talking animatedly about exy. kevin’s a good guy, and he respects the work the cheerleaders put in, but he wishes neil played exy because he knows w a y more than the surface amount kevin expects from most cheerleaders and that’s p useful

- andrew is there, not really in a conversation, but he lurks on the outside of neil and kevin’s and pays attention because this boy is Pretty and Interesting

- matt also pays attention and ends up in the conversation after a little while because he’s supportive of the vixens’ only male cheerleader and he has to make sure neil knows this

- the other monsters ask around about neil (because let’s be real, they’d be intrigued by the one guy on the team, and nicky is certainly not letting such a cute one get past him)

- they end up getting the information that a) this guy is on the top of pyramids and b) boy can freaking tumble like a god

- nicky may mention neil on top is definitely not the worst idea he’s ever heard

- they relay this to andrew, who is kinda curious but refuses to acknowledge that because andrew minyard does not experience anything like interest dammit he is a cold and calculating midget

- so the next game the foxes has is against a really terrible team and by halftime they’re up like 8-2 it’s ridiculous

- andrew decides he’ll stay near the court for halftime and see the vixens’ show

- everyone notices but no one says anything because he has knives

- kevin stays too because this boy better have a good excuse for cheering instead of playing exy

- the routine is everything you’d expect and more: over-the-top, sassy, mind-bendingly fast paced, but N E I L

- andrew just stares

- he knew the vixens were good but s h i t

- he has to fight to keep his jaw from unhinging during neil’s tumbling passes like how does he move that fast how does he rotate like that hOW WHAT

- kevin’s in a similar state but he knows he can use this. the way neil’s jumping and flipping with minimal use of his hands??? imagine implementing that. imagine. revolutionary.

- since the show doesn’t take all of halftime, kevin and andrew sneak into the locker room when it’s done

- they were Not Subtle

- wymack would have actually killed them if they weren’t winning by such a large margin

- anway after they win kevin pulls andrew aside

- “you saw what he was doing. please tell me you know where i want to go with this.”

- of course kevin has every intention of forcing neil to teach them how to do this crazy shit

- kevin does a little research and finds out when neil will be heading to fox tower after practice and using his “i’m kevin motherfucking day” charm he gets neil to help him learn how to tumble at nightly practices

- neil forces him to swear not to give out his name when people start asking where he gets this stuff, because like that would be Bad.

- it’s an uncertain, shaky thing, but it starts happening

- andrew starts joining because kevin wears him down (that’s not the only reason)

- the season goes on and oh no! the ravens are in our district now

- but get this

- it’s only about kevin.

- they didn’t notice neil. he’s a fucking cheerleader. no one important notices or cares

- there was no morning show fiasco, so seth is still alive!!!

- they got seth some professional help for the good of the plot and he’s been recovering from...everything and getting better at not getting carded every two seconds and communicating

- so no, they don’t win,

- but kevin ties it at the last second when he’s backed up by a backliner and he does a f u c k i n g aerial over her head and scores.

- riko’s face.

- literally everyone’s face.

- neil is cheering his heart out he is so proud

- after the game, kevin tells the other foxes about neil and his tumbling and they start hanging out with him more because they couldn’t have won without him, and they can learn a lot

- the season goes on, neil gradually becomes okayish, he gets the love he deserves from the foxes and vixens and andrew

- neil starts teaching the foxes his cool tumbling stuff:

- renee turns out to be fantastic at it, graceful and flexible queen she is

- dan and nicky are pretty average, they’re learning

- matt and allison... try

- seth and aaron don’t even try and never show up to night practice because let’s be real, it’s seth and aaron

- but hey, andrew’s really improving (probably because of the extra attention neil’s giving him)

- he’ll mess up and neil will be like “you need to-” and andrew’s like “SHUT UP I KNOW” and neil grins because he totally doesn’t

- spotting someone’s tumbling is pretty up close and personal

- everyone ships it quietly and these idiots are so oblivious

- when andrew lands his first back handspring everyone cheers and he fails to not smile just a little

- they consume so much ice cream in celebration and alcohol

- of course this stuff takes time and by now the season is near over

- they have their trojan game and they work their butts off (even if USC has only ten players) because they don’t want to have to use their trump card yet and they manage not to, though renee almost does when the trojans score on her

- they move on and oh my god it’s the ravens

- they manage to not whip out the crazy shit until the second half, but then everything gets insane

- the first time they do it is when andrew and kevin make eye contact when riko has the ball and kevin knows he can’t stop him

- he gives andrew a nod that he meant to be subtle but he was too excited so it ended up as a very sharp upward jerk of his chin in the vague direction of riko

- andrew would have rolled his eyes but there was no time

- neil would have too if he wasn’t about to explode on the sidelines

- andrew flings himself back at an angle that would have been ridiculously dangerous if he hadn’t been practicing, slams the ball, and springs with his hands back upright

- the stands go wild.

- the vixens cheer their throats hoarse.

- the ball goes straight to kevin

- the next one is when kevin pulls the same aerial he used last time, but it gets blocked because nothing really works twice on the ravens

- from there it’s down to the now-very-gymnastic foxes versus the insane hardcore that is edgar allen

- some highlights:

- someone tries to do a battering ram thing at dan and she does a toe-touch over him

- kevin does seven more aerial shots; four of them make it in

- andrew pulls out the stuff only one other time but when he does neil almost cries

- the final few seconds of the game:

- THE GAME IS TIIIIIEEEEDDDDD

- riko fires high-speed at the goal and andrew s m a s h e s it down the court, directly at the raven’s goal.

- the goalkeeper is surprised yet still gets it, but just barely; he hits it out of pure reflex without aim and it goes right at kevin. with one second left kevin passes to seth (who is very surprised) but he rebounds it into the goal and his Redemtion Arc™ is Complete as he encapsulated in a group hug

- after the game, everyone celebrates together, seth is happy, neil is happy, neil finally mAKES A DAMN MOVE

- and wow look at the news:

“BREAKING: Edgar Allen striker Riko Moriyama’s suicide?”

- and everyone lives happliy ever after

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