#anyways im so unbelievably fucking mentally ill about them
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"ape."
"princess."
#normally i hate posting art back to back but ive been working on this shit for so long for no god damn reason LMAODSAJD#anyways im so unbelievably fucking mentally ill about them#ALMOST gave joe nip piercings. almost#settled for the snakebites#matchablossom#sk8 the infinity#sk8 joe#sk8 cherry#kojiro nanjo#kaoru sakurayashiki#sk8 fanart#ALSO HOW THE FUCK DO YOU DRAW BEEFY PEOPLE. IVE NEVER STRUGGLED MORE ON A GOD DAMN BODY TYPE FUCK#sunny draws
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Hello everyone, today I'll do something never before seen on the flames and darkness liveblog which is read TWO chapters!! Idk man, i havent been able to read more than one chapter at a time recently because this book suddenly turned into such a slog to get through, although granted that might also just be my mental illness making it more difficult. whatever, i'll be in treatment for that next week
Anyway, today I'll be reading chapter 44 which is the star fall chapter, and chapter 45 which is. a chapter. Knowing this book series nothing of note is gonna happen in that one but that wont stop me from reading it
Chapter 44
Okay, theyre mentioning Feyre not looking so emancipated amymore and it made me remember all the weird weight shit from the start of this book. Like, she was losing weight because she was throwing up all the time and then not eating a lot and everyone was constantly remarking on that and it was unbelievably uncomfortable, but then when Feyre officially joined the night court and everyone immediately stopped talking about it, it almost feels a little manipulative, if that makes sense. Like, this book is ostensibly about Feyres healing journey but the Night Court cannot, under any circumstances, have anything negative associated with it so her trauma basically just disappears so we dont have to see the unpleasant parts of her recovery, she has one (1) nightmare after she starts living there permanently, one (1) moment where she feels too depressed to leave the bed and a few moment where she acts out but then immediately feels bad for it every time
Ughhhhh Feyre is wearing a dress for this which is really frustrating but you guys already know how I feel about that so shant go into that much more detail on this
I swear Im not just saying this to be a hater, Feyres dress sounds so tacky too
yoooooooo is Cassian implying he'd like to wear a tacky ass dress too??
and yet hes just wearing a BLACK TUNIC bro Feyre is literally covered in diamonds from head to toe so she can look like a shooting star or whatever and Cassian doesnt even have the decency to wear a black tunic that glitters or something?? Or hell, maybe even a red tunic to match his siphons, idk, give me SOMETHING im gonna tear my fucking hair out
Feyre is wondering about the IC being her friends and its like, girlie theyre barely even each others friends and youve known each other for maybe half a year to their 500 years
Feyre is describing Azriel hungrily staring at Mor's ass and it reminded me of that one bonus chapter Ive seen discussions about where he's really horny about Elain in a way thats pretty uncomfortable, and a lot of ex-Elriels say that it made them stop liking the idea of the ship because thats when they realized that SJM was just gonna mutilate both of their characters for the sake of smut, but honestly I dont think she would even need to mutilate Az that much
I could not give less of a shit about the Mor/Cassian/Azriel drama but I have to admit its kinda funny reading about Feyre speculating so much about Mor's relationships knowing shes gonna turn out to be interested in women
Mor says that Rhysand was very upset after she had sex with Cassian and beat him up as hard as he could (#incest) but she says he wasnt upset because of her virginity but because of the danger she put herself in by losing it, which is like, first of all that seems like splitting hairs, he was still upset that she lost her virginity even though that was none of his business. And second of all, I think it would actually make sense for him to have the kind of archaic sexist beliefs that would make Mor losing her virginity upsetting to him, considering he was also 17 when that happened just like Mor and Im guessing there wasnt anyone around to teach him feminism. or maybe hes so feminist he came out of the womb believing in womens rights and didnt need to be taught anything
god, the inner circle dynamics are so comically fucked up I have no idea how they can stand being around each other
Again, Im not much of a Feylin girlie but "Your hair looks... clean." >>>>>>>>>>>>>> "You look like a women again." (???? whats thag even supposed to mean)
So Rhysand is not wearing a black tunic, but he is wearing wearing a black jacket which is equally disappointing. atleast he has his tits out i guess
Rhysand was gone for 50 years and yet his best friends are not spending any time with him at their first party together since theyve been seperated, thats what i call friendship goals
Yeah, I guess its kinda sad that Rhys missed out on important holiday that meant a lot to him while undr the mountain but you know who else had to do that? Literally everyone that wasnt from the spring court
So he doesnt wanna tell his friends, who are by all accounts doing alright because theyve spent the past few decades trapped in a beautiful idyllic city, about his trauma but hes perfectly fine traumadumping on a twenty year old woman who just started to recover from her own trauma
Maybe Im just in a bad mood but this bullshit where theyre getting covered in star spirits or whatever feels so joyless to me, like its not whimsical or fun to me
Okay so, Ive heard about Rhysand calling Feyre exquisite and it made me cringe just thinking about it, but it looks like theyve translated that to him calling her 'herrlich' which means the exact same thing but it sounds a lot less weird and bad. once again, thank you, Alexandra
Feyre really just said "You regret sexually assaulting me? But why?" huh
Chapter 45:
Okay, thats the end of the chapter but theres two more things that kinda annoyed me that I didnt feel the need to mention as I was reading. 1) Feyre kept going on and on aboht Rhysand being her friend, it felt so insincere, its like sjm say a post online right before she started writing this chapter that was like "in the best relationships, your partner isnt just your partner but also your best friend" and decided to put that sentiment in her book, and 2) I felt like there were so many moments towards the end of that chapter where Feyre is like "oh, ive never felt this way with anyone" and its very obviously alluding to how she didnt love Tamlin as much as she does Rhysand now, and it was just very strange to read, like Tamlin was haunting the narrative even though hes not even dead yet
Uhm. so i got really tired all of a sudden so I took a nap at this point and read some gay vampire fanfic to rejunivate myself and now Im ready for whatever happens in the next chapter
"I was a traitor. [...] Even though I oficially left Tamlin - it was only two months ago, after all. By Fae standards that was probably barely more than a day." Oh yeah, i havent been keeping track of the time thanks for reminding me that this story about immortals is moving at a breakneck pace for no goddamn reason. But also, as an author trying to write a grand long-lasting romance, why would you write this. I know Feysand are gonna get married at the end of book and now when I get to that point Im not gonna be thinking "wowwww such romance" Im gonna be thinking "damn these bozos did the fae equivalent of getting eloped in vegas after knowing each other for barely a week"
Oh, men of all ages are training at this camp? would you say some of them are. child-aged
Feyre is being all "its so cold here, im freezing in my illyrian leathers I cant imagine a child with no clothes surviving here for a single day, much less eight years" (referring to Cassian) and yet she doesnt spare a single thought to all the children who have to be at this camp as well because this is the camp that the batboys grew up in, its not like this is a different kind of camp where they dont train children
God I hate Feyre thinking about how fuckin powerful the batboys are especially because its like, Rhysand is literally their high lord, he already holds so much power over the guys running this camp we dont need a reminder that he could easily crush their minds or that his goons need more syphons to contain the totality of their power or whatever
I get that these guys are like, shitty misogynists or whatever, but I dont think Rhys throwing them out of the house they live in is some #boyboss move hes just being an asshole
Rhysand would never want to lock Feyre in a house for protection, but he does want to decapitate anyone who lays a hand on her which is soooooo much better
Rhysand keeps calling the.... "females" of this camp "girls" which implies one of two things: 1) hes talking about adult women, hes just calling them girls, which is not very feminist of our feminist king, or 2) hes talking about actual girls aka children which. thank god for our feminist king having equal-opportunity child soldiers
Its actually kind of surreal how theyre at the camp where the batboys spent their CHILDhoods and Feyre keeps talking about what it mustve been like for Cassian while the narrative is actively avoiding talking about children being at the camp at this present moment while also not outright stating "there are no kids here at this present moment"
"'[The clipping of the wings is] to ensure the safety of their women, they said.'" this reminds me of something @/kateprincessofbluewhales said in regards to Rhysand forcing illyrian women to train but not doing anything else to advance their rights, which is that the wing clipping mightve started as a way for men to help women dodge the 'draft' that seems to be mandatory for all healthy illyrians. I dont really have anything else to say about that, it just popped into my head and i thought it was interesting
Rhysand is talking about how at some of the camps, women are declared anti-marriage material if they train and how he cant do anything about that and its like, even if these women are not officially declared unmarriable or whatever, the misogynistic men that make up these camps are probably not gonna wanna marry a women who trains, so what difference does that really make
Also, he says the only thing he could do about 'laws' like that is to murder the warlords and take their children/trainees? under his wing and I guess he thinks he would have to do that for every camp that does that but honestly, I think just doing it once or twice would send a powerful enough message to discourage other warlords from being misogynistic. And he wouldnt have to raise all these children all by himself either, Im sure he could get the help of a few non-sexist men or even, gasp, some women. Like those priestesses living in that library Im sure some of the ones that have already recovered from their trauma somewhat wouldnt mind teaching some boys about the harm that misogyny does
Okay so the blood rite is called a Blutritual [blood ritual] in german which is a little confusing because a ritual is a pretty specific thing and I dont think the blood rite is that specific thing but whatever, it sounds cool enough
Ive said this before, I am not a Tamlin girlie, at best I prefer him to Rhysand, and I dont like or trust Rhysand at all, but imagine hearing that tragic story about how their families killed each other, leaving them as the only survivors and being like "I cant believe Tamlin killed Rhysands family!!" especially when its like, the only person Feyre actually knows Tamlin killed is Rhysands dad who sucked ass, its not exactly a great loss
I feel like i had a lot of thoughts about a lot of things in this chapter that I couldnt write down because theyre these abstract half-thoughts, so I think I'll let those marinate until theyre full thoughts and share them with you at some later date
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trying to keep my emotions in check is so fucking hard man. like the pain i feel is so intense and real, but i also know i feel it for nothing. AND YET when i acknowledge this, the pain persists anyways!! never reassured properly cuz i can never see to kill the little voice in my head whispering "what if they do though? what if its true?" its so. frustrating its so PAINFUL this shit is slowly killing me man
its like. im scared to be caught in it if it IS true, to the point where ill just. back up and straight up leave sometimes
even when nothing bad has happened, and everyone is normal, even the smallest thing will tip me off and ill start feeling bad. ill start feeling like something happened and everyones upset with me, they like me less, theyre bored of me, annoyed, disgusted, ETC
its so scary man. and the worst part? i will never ever bring it up. ill never talk it through, never make my feelings known because i cant BEAR to make everything about me!!!!!! even if sharing how i feel isnt inherently selfish, ill feel like it is. itll tear me apart. there is no fucking escape!!! if i never say anything, then im leaving mid conversation to go cry in my bathroom and coming back like nothing is bothering me. if i do say something, ill sour the mood. everyone else is always having a good time, how could i just.. RUIN that? because i misinterpreted something and decided suddenly that no one actually likes me and im just.
im stuck in this loop where like. i want to be a good friend, a FUN friend. i dont want people to watch what they say around me, i dont want them to check up on how im doing, i should just be doing GOOD. but im not, i never am. its such bullshit man
why do i have to live so fucking miserably? why do i have to feel this pain, why do i always tear up over seemingly nothing? why is everything so heavy all the time
i hate that im someone who needs some kind of accommodation, i wish so desperately that i was just.. normal. normal enough to not cry like a fucking baby while everyone else is having a good time. i wish i wasnt like this, wish it so fucking badly
i dont make friends with shitty people, all my friends are so cool and sweet but like.. i just cant bring myself to bring it up, ever. i wanna be silly goofy dominic. i want them to love being around me so much that they forget about the unbelievably massive pile of mental issues i have. i want them to forget how easy it is to hurt me, even if its completely unreasonably and stupid
most of the time im successful, cuz ive got a quieter bpd going on. all the feelings are just as intense and suffocating, but i just. keep it all bottled inside, keep it all in the safety of my room. theres no like.
this is the closest ill ever get to sharing. spitting it out into a void because im too cowardly to confront my OWN emotions
i think thats what hurts the worst. i feel so fucking SELFISH. i know everyone has emotions, and id respect and love everybody elses, but mine? nothing makes me feel worse than when people actually care about me. it makes bottling everything up so hard. so hard when they ask if im okay and i have to lie to their face cuz im still not strong enough to confess whats slowly eating my alive
im just too scared of being too much. its like this line that i cant cross. i dont want to be overbearing, i dont want to be so outwardly emotional, i dont want to be VISIBLY MISERABLE to the people who love me, or at least like me enough to stick around.
but im so unsocialized that this is damn near the only way. i wanna be the fun silly goofy friend but the fact of the matter is that im just not. watching me try to participate in any conversation is just.. painful. and i can SEE how painful it is. its embarrassing how bad i am at talking. it only makes things worse, pulls me back from my dream of being someone that people ENJOY speaking to. its sad
even if im not as boring and awkward as i think i am, the fact that i think it alone holds me back. theres been so many times where i just.. bite my tongue and stay quiet even if i have an opportunity to tell a joke or something cuz the voice in the back of my head tells me "what if they dont get it? what if they dont think its funny? what if they only pretend to laugh? how embarrassing would that be?" and its right. i have to like.. silence myself so that i wont ever face any kind of rejection, because if i do itll kill me and ill feel so fucking miserable over it
i wish i didnt live my life this way, but in my head there are very few options, and all of them are bad
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aaa sorry hopefully you're okay with people responding to your rambles (your most recent one that talks about suicide). just wanted to say i'm very very proud of you for healing and i can relate to your post.
hopefully you are okay with me sharing this story but im a young phannie, im 15, and i found them when i was 11 which was a few months before quarantine hit. extremely long story short, for me 11-13 years old were the scariest years of my life and i don't think anything will ever come close to that again (thank god). that's when i used to rely heavily on dan and phil videos (mostly phil). like i just have so many memories of like i don't know, being on a road trip with my family and being completely out of my mind but i would turn on an amazingphil video or a song that amazingphil mentioned and desperately try to immerse myself into that rather than my thoughts. now that i'm 15 (which is like. unbelievable honestly) i see their content on my feed but i rarely ever engage anymore, and when i do it feels like making my inner child happy. it's weird to think that something i held very close to me and that kept me above water for so long belongs in the past now along with really deep trauma. even if i ever get back into binging phil's videos (i probably will because man he is so nostalgic to watch and i just love him) i'm sure i will never engage with them the way i used to, because i'm simply not the same person. it's sad and also really euphoric and healing at the same time to watch yourself let go. anyways that's my 3am rant lol (i have yet to lose younger me's sleep schedule) thank you for listening and please have a wonderful day/night ❤️
I literally relate so hard to this and it’s really comforting to hear similar stories to mine. I fucking hate when people dismiss mental illness if the person is <14. Ages 12-14 were truly the most terrifying years of my life where I truly believed I would not be able to keep living. I’m very thankful I was surrounded by people who took it seriously so I was able to get help early on. But it’s so important to recognize the little things that also got us through. I know there’s a lot of people who roll their eyes when you say this musician or content creator or actor or whatever saved my life and that’s because people take it too literal. I do credit dan and phil and twenty one pilots with saving my life. Obviously, it wasn’t just that. It was years of therapy and medication and healing, but their content, what they brought into my life, was something I needed to hold on to. It gave me motivation. It was a distraction from pain that wasn’t harmful to myself. I connected with people who I truly felt understood me. And that’s something I needed during that period of my life. Now that I’m older and developed a personality and I’m so far from where I was, I don’t need to be obsessive because I don’t need a constant healthy distraction to get me through life. I can just be a regular fan. And still enjoy that little rush of joy I get when they upload. It’s such a unique experience that, though I am so sad people can relate to, is so important and interesting to discuss. I often joke about being suicidal and really mentally ill at a really young age and I know a lot of others do too. And that’s okay, but it truly is important to congratulate yourself for still sticking around. Even if you are still depressed or unhealthy. And it’s okay to have motivations like being a fan to keep you happy and to keep you going. It’s also okay if you’re getting older and you want to let go a little bit. You don’t have to completely abandon it. I know I’m so fucking far from abandoning dnp and 21p. But it’s okay to not be as obsessive as you were. It’s a sign you’ve grown up. You’ve healed. I appreciate so much what dnp and 21p did for me and I still remain a loyal fan, but it’s okay for me to let go because I can live without needing them. Being suicidal at such a young age is a very specific, tragic experience that you can only understand if you went through it. That’s why it’s hard to discuss topics like this without sounding batshit crazy. But I’m glad some of us are here talking about it.
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i jus wanna say as some1 who was groomed n takin advantage of as a child and teenager the argument that “its jus a character” is so harmful to children and minors on the internet, even tho i think its weird i don even care enough about the aging characters up argument cuz i jus ignore that shit anyway but the one point i disagree with is fiction doesn’t effect reality (if thats the point ur gettin at) because it does time n time again disgusting n abhorrent things have been normalized and “ok”ed under the grounds of its jus fiction when it can n does have effect on real world ppl. children and minor teenagers sexualize themselves because of the content made by adults that exploit the naivety of children. all 3 of the men, grown men, who groomed me normalized what they had done to me by showing me content i should never been exposed to which in turn has traumatized me to unbelievable degrees, one of them had even admitted to liking children younger then i was at the time n coerced me into role playin is pedophilic fantasies by showing me disgusting exploitive things. im not trying to be rude or start arguments i jus thought that last anon posting links on “behalf” of child victims as a got ya point was sick (at lease to me) also sry if my thoughts r jumbled this is rly traumatic to talk about
As a CSEM survivor, shut the fuck up. I never said that fiction doesn’t have effects on the way people view shit, I said I’m not about to magically become a PEDOPHILE because I find baji ATTRACTIVE. What is you on about my nigga?
I block and persuade minors to stay away from my shit due to the fact that I write dark content and 18+ shit, it’s not meant for them in the first place. Adults shouldn’t be engaging with minors about porn (cause that’s the shit I write) either. Im sorry that happened to you, but if you’re trying to say people become p*dos or groom children because characters attractive that’s deadass wrong.
Pedophilia is a mental illness that people are born with, you don’t magically become one from looking at an anime character. People that are p*dos who use source material to sexually exploit children were born like that, they didn’t become one because of a drawing. Anything could be used to groom a child. A bike, mf candy, literally anything.
Again, not saying that fiction doesn’t affect reality (it can in some cases), but if you’re saying people who use explicit content/porn to sexually exploit children become pedos they cannot, cause they are already pedos.
Also, minors shouldn’t be on this blog. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it as many times as I have to for you people to get it through your empty skulls. I’m 18 dawg, I don’t wanna talk to kids about porn, I don’t want them reading my shit and I don’t want them here.
Don’t message me about shit pertaining to this situation anymore, y’all about to piss me off.
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Hey hi your murder mystery art is super totally cool and amazing and I'd like to Extra! Extra! hear all about it *rattles bells*
haha wow i cant believe ud ask me THIS! unbelievable! now im gonna have to make a long post!
all info under the cut cause im kind like that ♥
For reasons I felt like making a Fancy Ass murder mystery story, with you know, hella complex secret storylines and everyone having drama and shit, and one person died but the more the story goes the less people care about who did the murder and the more they want tHE JUICY DETAILs. X and Y had an afFAIR you say!!! well that’s thousands time more interesting than that murder that happened, who cares about the culprit its not like any of us are going anywhere anyway! tell me more about the marital issues!
The ultimate Vibes are Clue (the game, ya kno, it had a movie too, and that movie was shot with three different endings -fun fact- so that movie theatres could play one alternatively that way people wouldnt get spoiled or even if they did they would not get the ending they were spoiled or even if all three were spoiled you couldnt know which ending you were getting anyway, big dick move, cause its an old movie and film is expensive, also that movie stupid and campy, ALSO I ONLY LEARNED MAKING THIS AU THAT IN ENGLISH THE GAME’S CALLED “CLUE” wE CALL IT CLUEDO therefore my wip playlist is called cluedo. because. fuck it.)(i just have an emotional attachment to that game i even had a cd rom video game version and it was the spookiest shit for a 6 years old, trust me, i played it so much tho i didnt even understand the rULES i was just making scenarios like gathering the characters in rooms n making conversations outloud cause honestly the banter is the best part of a murder mystery) ANYWAY that sure is a whole paragraph of tangent.
BUT YE the inspo from the Clue game. you can tell it from the Colours obviously, everyone’s colour codded.(even everyone’s name is colours as well you’ll see it’s real dang fancy! im just remaking that game but with 2932020 characters and more behind the scenes drama and also for gay people.)
So BASIC PLOT!
Sir Belyy, the dude in white, is The Rich Powerful Respected Fancy Boss, and he throws a Fancy Reception Party with his closest friends and associates to celebrate the opening of a new branch of his business. All the lads gather in his wonderful little very isolated mansion in the middle of nowhere, like ok he got a death wish or something or he’s very trusting of his business partners, but not a good move, cause in the middle of the reception, as A Phat Storm Starts (for plot convenience, we going with a campy vibe if you couldnt tell), his body is found, it’s awful, there’s a killer on the loose! All the guests gather, and attempt to maybe contact the authorities, to not avail, since The Storm ya know, phone lines are Broken my dude. Its clear that the culprit is among them, since no one could have entered the house, or left it (cuz once again, ThE sTORm). And then it’s all about interrogating each other, distrust, alliances and betrayal, revealing one’s deepest secrets when they form an alibi and revealing someone else’s deepest secret for they could be a motive! Meanwhile there’s a dead body in the mansion just chillin there.
.
So as I mentioned, I changed everyone’s name to be colour related (or ya know, food or flowers of that colour cause sometimes a colour in a language would not work as a name given the way names work in that culture all that jazz) which is the trippiest thing cause tHATS NOT YALLS USUAL NAMES but its fun (also changed so many ages hgfhs it was a trip)(still no one’s really old i guess i got boomerphobia). The “Cast” is clearly the most important part, and if ur a True “My OCs” Connaisseur (hdfghd the most useful skill to have, knowing *MY* Charactersdshgd) you may have recognised some faces and can already read some vibes and predict who will be progressing the plot and who will be yelling at people throwing accusations ghdfgd.
(god i wish i hadnt slacked off making the portraits of everyone in that AU i only have 3 tho that’s so sad so ill just make little sketches just cause <3 only text??? i got too many hoes with no attention span for that)
.
Sir BELYY (the one who dIEs lmao)
(bust shot missing the fact that this man is the tallest beefiest lad around)
Intimidating, powerful, composed, wealthy, carries the name of a family who has generations of control to it’s reputation, he’s The Man that hoes who believe in the economy wishes they were. As in, the “self made” man who only just happened to benefit from having a wealthy background to uplift his plans. In his youth, he wanted to prove his worth, seperated himself from his father, started a business, that business became big, then got attached to the family’s business, bam back to square one but with Reputation now. There seemed to be VERY big tension between him and The Father, some speculate it had to do with his unknown mother, and some family drama there, and it never got resolved as old man Belyy died quite young (the jUICY speculations are that current sir Belyy mURDEREd old man sir Belyy, fucked up if true!). People love him though in general, as he has that reputation of “Cold Lad With a Gold Heart” aka he takes people under his wings, donates, doesnt treat his employees like the absolute worst garbage etc... you know, he’s rich and a half decent person, so obviously he’s an angel on earth. But does it matter though, he’s dead! that’s the concept of the story!
Mr.GRAY (the grey guest)(who could have guessed from the name)
He’s one of Sir Belyy’s oldest employees, and benefits from a high rank in the company. But, sadly for him, he’s been stagnating lately, as newer, youngest employees seem to have Belyy’s favours, and are his prefered associates for important tasks and positions. Therefore he has Some Bitterness, Some Salt, Some Distaste, some unbriddled but professionally muted hatred for Specific people in the company. He can be an antagonistic figure, but the amount of time he spent in Belyy’s circle grants him an immense quantity of information about the man, but mostly, about his business. Anything about the company’s history, dealings, operations, he’s aware of, either having been told of them, or having snooped around to obtain, immune to being questioned due to his legitimacy in the company.
Mr.LIM (the green guest)
Remember when it was said that Gray had beef with some employees cause they were younger and rose to high ranks faster than him and became Belyy’s favourite over him? Yeah well here comes the one he hates the most for that (ofc he’s belyys fave cuz he’s Mine <3) Our lad caught Belyy’s attention for his Exploits in like, em fancy high school tournaments of smart people, it’s a thing its ridiculous, making kids compete on Smart stuff for the pride of their schools n shit, well homie Lim got clout when doing that, and Belyy was extremely interested cause that kid’s main thing was how “this young lad got mad strategic skills tf are u a war general or smth how fancy”, and that’s a coveted skill for ruthless business. So as soon as the kid is an adult, bam, join the company my dude. And because he’s just that Cool n Sexy ofc he met the expectations Belyy had, and old man Belyy got attached cuz it do be such a young lad, a kid, mentally i am adopting. That’s how you get a youngas employee becoming the right hand man of one the phatest CEO in a few years, and even make your way into being a Good Lad on top of a business partner. And that’s how you get Gray to hate your ass too. Now though, fine lad with mad strategic skills, rising to power that fast, and even infiltrating Belyy’s private life? If I were Gray I’d call suspicion there’s surely some shady stuff going no way we’re just dealing with a nice fella who just happens to work good and be friendly to the boss right?
Herra MUSTA (the black “guest”)
Belyy’s newest butler, assistant, house keeper, he multitasks. His family has been tied to Belyy’s for generations, fullfilling roles of help, but also of confidents. He’s been the head butler since only a short time, after his mother passed, and as such is still “in training” you could say, despite having served the family his whole life. There are rumours going around that the contract tying his family to the Belyys may end on his generation and need to be resigned. He known the manor by heart, and carries all keys to any locked room (and mostly, The Master Key, cause in an old house, some doors may be locked beyond all still existing keys). He also knows secrets of the family that no one else knows, but good luck getting em out of him, he’s under contract not to divulge em bro.
Mr. HASSEL (the brown guest)
Belyy’s childhood friend. They grew up together, pictured their dreams together, sworn to flourish together, worked together when starting the company, and then Hassel felt he should create his own thing instead of depending on his friend’s existing wealth, and while Belyy’s business went wild, his never took off. They still stayed very close, despite the massive difference in wealth. Belyy considers him his closest friend, the one person he can trust (fucked if hassel did the murder lemme tell u). So of course, he’s still always invited to the Prestigious meet ups where’s he’s free to feel uncomfortably out of place amongst all the rich and powerful people that he could have been a part of had he had a tiny bit of luck and a small loan from a wealthy relative...People LOVE saying he’s still hanging out with Belyy so much to leech off his wealth, cause of course they do! His bestie status means he has a whole different brand of information of Belyy than his butler does, the Most Intimate Stuff, the Childhood Stuff. The Juicy stuff ya kno...But Bro Code, its all secrets...
Sir RUZH (the red “guest”)
Deep dive into Belyy’s personnal history, the man has many employees working at his house keeping it working, clean, ya know the vibe. They live on the premice, one has a kid who’s just a Joy to be around, all the employees just vibe with that lad, he’s just a born socialite you know? Belyy gets to meet the kid, and also hella vibes with him. And because human are influenced by their feelings, he gives the kid’s mum a bit of a preferencial treatment, in the tasks she fullfils and all, til he gives her an important-as mission, and then there’s an accident n mama dies, and now Belyy got guilt and there’s this kid who just Vibes. So naturally the move is to take the kid in, and play on how his vibes are just so clean, and raise him to be the Perfect Entertainer for guests, bam, its soft power propaganda, if everyone loves your now son’s vibes, they associate them with you too. And also that’s kind of a clean rep, the selfless man who adopted his employee’s son to not have him fall to the streets, how heartwarming. Not at all traumatising for the kid too I bet! But anyway now the lad is just the most charming young adult, mission accomplished. He’s always present at any reception, ready to work his people-pleasing magic, and then going back to a gigantic empty manor to wait for the next and curate the perfect vibes to meet the expectations of dad. On the plus side, he knows everyone, and those who don’t know him cannot wAIT to, he’s just got that aura ya know. People skills for miles, and the insider knowledge that comes with being the son of the CEO, all this hidden behind the personna of the fresh innocent bashful party lad.
Dr.FEN (the pink guest)
Do not get mistaken by the title, he’s no doc, he will not diagnose you with anything, he just studied long enough to get the sexy title. Study in what? Haha. Nothing shady. Just toxicology. He’s a world reknown poison expert basically, that’s his main thing. Oh but don’t worry, of course studying substances that may kill people is only for finding out how to cure them from it of course. What brings him in this circle? Simple, Belyy may or may not have started to suffer some weird illness that no doctor has been able to find the source, let alone cure, of. Him and Dr.Fen had met previously on some event, cause some rich man also love flexing how smart they are and attending sciencey shit, and he was contacted as sort of a shot in the dark. The lad does know how to treat some things, maybe he can treat The Mysterious Unwellness, since no traditional doctor was able to. He knows science, he’s trustworthy, bam, you’re hired to work on My Case Exclusively. Thanks to this, Dr.Fen has access to the whole health history of Belyy and his family, to many mANY dangerous substances, and also has The Respect of the hoes at the party. He HAS a doctorate after all. Epitome of knowledge. And he’s a kind to people and he wears pink like dang how can you nOT pour your wHOLE trust in him.
Sir MOREVITCH (the blue guest)
Youngest son of an affluent family, who used to be close the the Belyys. The two families fell slightly appart after the death of the previous head of the family on the Belyy side, as they do nOT vibe with the current one (well current, til the first night of the story ig). But, unbeknownst to all, one strong link had been kept, between the youngest of the Morevitch, who dislikes his family and wishes to emancipate himself from them while also assuring his depart will not throw him basically in the streets, and our beloved Sir Belyy, who also dislikes the Morevitches but loves to see the rebellious energy of the young one (and ya know, my enemy’s enemy’s my friend or however you say that). So Belyy’s basically offering tips and helping Morevitch plant himself safely out of his family’s grasp, but it’s all taking quite some time isn’t it, slow and steady is fine until your parents try to arrange a wedding to secure more political power, and suddenly it is all quite urgent that you escape that situation because No Thank You Parents I Do Not Want A Wife I’m Too Young And Also Huh <3 Stuff You Won’t Like Hearing For Sure <3. The people who know they’re working together also know that it’s a big point of argument between them, the difference in vision between “you have to go slow and steady to be safe” and “I have very limited time to get to that safety anyway so I gotta risk it” “hell no you cant i can’t follow through if we’re going that quick that’ll put me at risk and you’re family’s gonna send gunmen to take me down”. A mess, it’d be much quicker to just obtain a few million bucks out of nowhere and bolt for sure...
Mr.GANG (the orange guest)
Morevitch’s trusted assistant. He hears the concerns, he helps the secret businesses, he lies to the parents about the whereabouts, and mostly, he’s basically a budget spy. The lad got that talent where people just don’t notice him popping behind them and catching all their dirty laundry as they confess it to someone they trust, and he always manages to break into places, get the intel he was looking for, and escape, putting everything back into place as if no one was ever there (wonder where he got all those skills from damn!). But what he’s even better at is being sneaky not only to benefit his boss, but himself as well <3. If he can catch all the info in the world, go any places, nothing’s stopping him from playing double agent and also going behind Morevitch’s back. After all the assistant life isn’t the most glamourous and rewarding, who can blame him from going and using his talents to build his own little exit route, right? Everybody sort of knows he cannot be trusted, but also no one managed to really incriminate or stop him, and as much as he has tea on many people, no has it on him, but bet once found that would be heeeella juicy.
M.MOUTARDE (the yellow guest)(this one is straight up the name of the yellow player in the french edition of clue too when i say its my main vibe)
Moutarde was an influential celebrity. He had a big break acting in a movie that the whole country stanned so hard they basically turned the script into their national anthem (they would have if it was a true democracy where the people really decide), he was so handsome and elegant, everyone’s dream husband. And then the fame fiddled out because it’s how fame is, one moment you’re the sexiest dish on the table and the next someone brings in dessert and baam, its all about that fresh cake, and no one pays any mind to your delightful aroma anymore, you’ve gone cold, they had a bite, their interest is somewhere else. Belyy really admires his work though, and mostly finds his image fits with the brand of his company, therefore the two are working on a collaboration to make Moutarde a representative. This WOULD boost Moutarde’s reputation, for his ads would be displayed on every imaginable surface of the country, and it would also benefit the company cause being represented by thAT sexy motherfucker? clearly that’s a deal. The freshness of the partnership means Moutarde is a newcomer in the guests, a fresh face, with no reputation, no relationships, no unfair biases against him. He’s just the new handsome charismatic lad with a squeaky clean image. Emphasis on “image”. After all, no one really knows anything of his background, right?
Kun.LAWENDER (the purple guest)
Private investigator, very useful to be around at a party it’s almost like it was expected there’d be a body to investigate, he’s a very close associate of Belyy, as there’s nothing more important to business than investigating the rivals and finding dirt on them to make them fall through infamy. He’s not exactly the PI who goes look for justice to be served, he’s just here for cash bro. He’s got intel on everyone, and will only let it out if offered the right thing in return (money, or sometimes other pieces of very secret intel, trade is good). Wouldn’t advise letting him and Gang team up tbh but they probably wouldnt, as Lawender is really more of a lone wolf player, going on his own for himself. The one thing that negates his usefulness as a PI on an accidental crime of scene is that even if he knew the whole truth of the event he would not spit it out unless he benefitted from saying it. He sure is a polarising lad, but at the same time, an untouchable one, he’s too knowledgeable to be taken down. Rather than sneaky, he’s extremely observant, noticing the tiniest details and engraving them in his memory, ready to be linked up to other details to deduct the big picture. He’s the upfront tea gathered basically (as opposed to Gang’s shadow tea gathering if you will, they are similar forces but using opposite methods)(also one of em got a licence n the other does not hAH).
~~~~
Now the secrets, all of em have them. One of em at least got the secret of having KILLED Belyy that’s that. But that’s to be kept for later (for if i ever use this story for more than daydream material gfhjgh) bet you can imagine what some of em may be just out of Knowing what i do, from having seen the characters in other contexts, or just because you’re a genius and reading the character profiles immediatly lit up the bulbs in your head forming the perfect theory, props to you, mad genius.
Honestly my thoughts are just how lit of a game that would be, you get to pick one hoe (maybe sum are locked til u find their secrets for juicy purposes) and you do your invetigation using your character’s perks and disadvantages, and maybe there could even be Multiple scenarios and outcomes, to spice it up, give replay value, i just think it’d be a game id spend hours on. tryin to get the spicy details of everyone’s life. walking around n digging through a rich man’s stuff, witnessing the drAMA of people fighting cause they’re locked in with a murderer and that’s stressful ngl. That or a long ass show @ netflix wanna give me a show maybe? give me hella budget we’re making it animated cause im too cultured for live action.
whatever i make of it though, i hope i can make this story Flourish, just so that i can lay down all those secret backstories i’ve written. i want the satisfaction of throwing out the craziest secret drama between character n seeing peeps loose their minds, it just is a tasty experience.
also i gotta say, i plug the hell out of Clue for an inspo but when i was building the basics of the story my mind immediatly went “oH MY GOD THE VIBES,, THE BACKSTABBING AND tEAMING UP and all,,, its The Genius, that one tv show where peeps have to do the wildest games that require strategy n they’re in that fancy set that looks like a rich ppl mansion oh god the vibes” so yeah, i rewatched the whole first two seasons cause they’re my faves and that had an impact if only minimal in the aesthetic.
Anyway hope that quick presentation gave you a lil taste of the story, and maybe,,,, got you curious,,, craving to learn more like you never did before (im exaggerating the only real question we all got is just “so who’s fuckin with whom then how many of yall secretly dating” this the real deal)
#doodlin every lad's face at one rly be like 'welcome to the cheekbone festival'#they got antti AND said at once like the cheekbonage is out of this world!#that's musta n gang btw#also every single time i draw cream (blue lad) im like 'i havent drawn u in ages' n it isnt#that i dont draw him much anymore#but that ive drawn only this bitch for months back in the days#him bein in this without his lover....criminal#cuz his boo wouldnt fit a murder mystery au like#hoes would find the corpse he'd just be like 'welp on that imma go to bed aight bye'#anyway u can tell which of my ocs i simp for v easely#like fr#they the ones i spend the longest drawfigfdj cuz i draw em n then go 'not hot enough do it again'#a struggle!#anyway the secret is that i prepares a motive AND an alibi for all of em#so that i can pick who murdered belyy at the last moment <3#its all abt the contextual clues on the scene of crime <3#none of the drama tells u anything its all for the treat of gossip <3#sad part of this project is how much ive planned n written yet i can barely tell anythin if i want to make it#n ive drawn nothingbhd#i hav a dari n a weiwei in their coloured clothes lookin handsome cuz ofc i do#im predictable i have faves#ask if they're in love in this one too take a fuckin guess#u rly think hoe going to his boss's house so much to see the ceo ???? HAH#the real question isnt if theyre smooshin we all kno that answer the question is if dad white suit knows thATs whats important#are yall secret lovers or is green boy climbing the ladder of the company cuz he's smashing the boss's son#who knows#i do i aint telling pay me
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This was not wrote by me but I had to share it 💔
Credits to addieanatomy on instagram.
its so difficult for me to understand those who never feel the slightest bit of sympathy for norma and those who blame norma for being a bad mother, for nurturing her child into a serial killer. since the beginning on the series, norma had been a whole person. she has a backstory filled with emotional abuse and neglect at the hands of her awful parents. and emotional and sexual assault at the hands of her brother. and then she gets married to an abusive husband with a son born of incest because of her brother raping her. and another son who blacks out and becomes violent to the point of murder. norman blacked out and murdered her abusive husband/his father and had no idea. and he continues to kill several ppl that come into his life. but that’s just a whole other discussion for a later date. it makes my blood boil when i see ppl want to hate norma and blame her for all norman does. they want to. hate norma for what norman is. in some ways. yes. i can see why we all should give her some blame. because of numerous events in her life, norma’s incredibly broken which doesnt make motherhood too promising for her. i mean. i would argue that the worst thing norma has done has been having a lack of understanding the causes and effects of her actions. and just having a lack of insight in general.
norma feels that nothing outside of her and her care is safe for her and her beloved child. but eventually, she starts to see norman as a threat, to herself and himself. okay and quite honestly. im surprised norma didn’t end up being the damn serial killer given her fucking upbringing and the experiences she faced… anyway. alright norma definitely allowed for levels of intimacy between her and norman that are pretty uncomfortable. and some ppl would say shes reluctant to admit that there is something wrong with her beautiful child. but in my opinion. i believe she was always fully aware of normans troubles and knew that theres was smth wrong with him. but like i said before. she didnt see safety in anything outside herself. bc shes so fucking stubborn! but she truly believed that she was the answer to normans problem and she thought she could help him and protect him. i think it is very harsh for ppl to classify norma and anything she does as a mother as being neglectful. or abusive.,..,. she certainly comes close but. she doesnt cross the line into that territory. and yes. she did tell norman things he shouldnt have to know as her son. like. the situation with her brother. but. if u think about normas role as a mother overall. within the context of her own life experiences. she tries really fucking. hard. to be a the perfect and ideal mother. and i believe her efforts should be applauded considering she had no good mother or father to have as an example for her parenting. this woman did whatever she could to protect her son. and when she realized that she couldnt give him the help he needed,... she sought out help. she went to pineview. she begged dr edwards or whatever to help her son. she did her best to get her son the aid he needed in order to not be a threat to himself, norma and everyone else.
i would find it absolutely ridiculous if u didnt feel an iota a sympathy for norma in that moment in 401. she even explained herself in that moment with dr edwards. she realized that she couldnt control what she thought she could. and that she was afraid of going to the doctors bc she thought they could take him away from her. and i believe that she didnt want him taken away bc he was the last bit of love she had left in her life. she had no one. she loved norman so passionately bc they were all each other ever had. its just. in that fucking moment with dr edwards. norma was showing so much of herself. so much honesty. which is smth she tends not to do. and she was revealing in that moment that literally. like all parents. she didnt really know… exactly what she was doing. she was just hoping that what she thought was best,.,. was good. and she had a moment of great fear that what she was doing was hurting her child. and she wanted to do smth else to change and make it better for both of them. all norma has ever had is good intentions. love makes u do crazy things. and she did crazy things out of the sometimes dangerous love she had for her child. but she cant take full blame for what norman is and became. being the parent of a psychopath is not gonna be fucking easy and a literal cake walk with a manual on how to succeed. all norma fucking wanted was a normal life for her and her son. and normal life that she never got to have throughout her childhood. and teenage years. and into her married life with both of her husbands.
she could never catch a fucking break. and she never did. she never. fucking. did. shitty childhood, 2 shitty marriages, a kid who resulted from being raped by her brother, a kid that was more than just mentally unstable. and her own mental wellbeing never treated was just. the fucking cherry on top. and even after she dies she didn’t even get peace until after norman died, considering he was lugging her dead body around. when ppl talk about norma, her mental health is not often in the conversation. but quite honestly. norma's entire mental state had to have been absolutely exhausting for her. she needed serious help. and she needed it well before norman even came into the her life. i think the only time she realized that… this isnt how normal people live. is when she was with alex... alex gave her a real glimpse into a type of normalcy she had never experienced. honestly. i would like to believe she eventually would have gone into therapy had she survived. and even if norman had stayed at the live-in hospital and didnt try to kill her, she and alex were not going to magically start living a beautiful, good life. she was going to need some serious therapy herself. and i just know she wouldnt bring herself to do that all by herself. i think if anyone could help her decide to help herself... that person would without and doubt be alex. norma truly was beaten down by life at every corner. anyone in her shoes with that kind of history and mental wellbeing would be in an unbelievable amount of pain on the inside. when thinking about how this all plays into her relationship with norman... i just think she loved norman to the best of her ability. but it was from a perspective warped by extreme mental illness, fatigue and injury of her own. to add to this exhausting amount of mental turmoil, came her exhausting love for norman. god i love this woman so much. she is everything to me.
This hit me so damn hard. People ask why I love this show so much and the reason is above. Vera Farmiga portrays Norma so brilliantly and I couldn't think of anyone else who could do it better.
Romanticizing the relationship she and Norman had is unhealthy yes, but she loved her son so much she would do anything to keep him safe. Norma Bates is a fucking warrior- fictional character or not.
#not my words#veraannfarmiga#verafarmiga#batesmotel#normabates#normanbates#i love this so fucking much
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what's up tumblr, i just finished s3 of torchwood. mad spoilers ahead.
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fffffffffffUCK. god. christ. i cannot stress enough how unbelievably fucked up that was. i kept whispering to the person i was watching with, like, "this is so fucked up." i thought this would be a goofy show full o' gays. i thought wrong!!
a year or two ago, i watched this video essay on how rtd and moffat portray/think of people and humanity very differently. moffat seems to see the good in people and he's optimistic about humanity. rtd,, isnt like that. and i just kinda went "🤷♀️ yeah ig i can kinda see it." but now???? holy shit!! aliens getting high on children?? people sacrificing children to said aliens?? the govt and military being extremely fucked up and bureaucratic?? uuuuuuuuugh dude. im. im having an emotional moment.
also, ianto's death. i think that it's supposed to be a sort of demon's run moment (where we get a big victory and then a big loss immediately after), but it had no emotional impact on me. that might just be bc i knew ianto was gonna die before i even watched s2, but i dont think the audience was given enough time to let our guard down. im thinking that maybe after the 456 conflict ends or a little before they figure out that they need to make some steven jam, ianto is scanning himself in the medical area (??) of the hub, and he finds out that the gas that he inhaled is slowly killing him and he'll bite it in a matter of hours. that would be!! so much worse!!!! his death would be less of a metaphorical punch on the shoulder and more of a metaphorical kick in the balls. idk tho, my judgement is skewed bc of my prior knowledge.
anyway, i like the whole thing abt how jack had a previous experience with the 456 and he let them snatch the kids. it paints him less like a Good Guy with some emotional issues, and makes him seem more like a real person. sometimes you agree with him, sometimes you don't.
and again with the "ianto vs homophobia" conflict. i felt that scene in my soul.
oh yeah and clement mcdonald!! i loved how he was mentally ill/traumatized but wasnt villainized for it. not a high bar, but i still want to mention it yknow.
and what's rtd's deal with writing characters with no name?? i mean we got the doctor and jack. whats up dude??
anyway, those are my thoughts on torchwood that nobody asked for. im probably gonna spend the next few days combing through ao3 for s3 fix-its to inhale at the speed of light.
#btw!! ok i got a few very outlandish headcanons on how ianto could survive#number one is that he's a chameleon-arched time lord and his stopwatch has smth wrong with it#it needs to be broken instead of just opened for whatever reason#its torchwood so the writers could definitely come up with one#so anyway jack is at the hub and he's put ianto's body in the corpse drawer and he's going thru all ianto's stuff#and he's holding himself together pretty well until he pulls out ianto's stopwatch#and the grief hits jack like a truck#he rages at the universe for killing ianto. at the 456 too. at himself for letting it happen.#at time itself for making him a fixed point.#ianto's stopwatch hits the ground with a clatter.#all is quiet and still until jack sees an orange glow out of the corner of his eye. its coming from the section of the corpse cabinet#that houses ianto#and theory 2 is that one of those glass creatures from the s10 xmas special or some living slime from s5 drops thru the rift#and takes the form of one ianto jones#so uh there ya go those are my lukewarm takes and dubious theories#torchwood#capt jack harkness#ianto#gwen#the 456#jack's seldom-mentioned family#clement mcdonald#torchwood liveblog
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mtmte liveblog issues 4&5
its delphi time babey
I'm sorry but drift & co look like such fuckin nerds on their scooter things on the cover lmaooo
oh god. seeing the first page just reminded me of how horribly confused i was for this whole little arc the first time i read it. i was like ok, who are all these new characters, and also why does everyone look so similar
anyways now i now what's going on. i love first aid
love the running continuity of rung being the literal only psychologist on cybertron (except for fr*id but that's later). no wonder everyone's fucked up they all have to share a single therapist
ok i find it extremely funny that first aid was demoted from doctor to nurse, as if that's a thing that happens EVER - I mean it'd be one thing if first aid was a nurse practitioner (which i doubt is a position that exists here), at least that demotion would make sense, but like...the doctors i work with don't know how to do most nurse stuff (like BP, cathing, vaccinations, hell even using some of the thermometers - that's all stuff nurses/etc do), so demoting one to a nurse would be a disaster (just like promoting a really good nurse to a doctor would be a bad idea). anyways i know I'm being pedantic but it Be like that when you work in the medical field and read something that has medicine-related stuff in it
i love swerve giving ratchet the tiniest free drink ever lmaooo
is that skids being a rowdy drunk in the bg lmaoooo
unironically i love medical statistics. keep it comin
i love magnus’s giant sternal chestpiece thing. its like a bird’s sternum but without the massive pec muscles attached
i love magnus and rodimus’s dynamic so much
oh pipes....im so sorry but this fun space adventure is going to be not so much fun for you
ratchets ideologies are certainly interesting, and i liked seeing how they changed over the course of the story
drift: why would i be SCARED of the DJD, I've got a SWORD, two swords even,
hvbhajkhfbsdjkf pipes really said ‘oi, you two - what's this, then?’ that's the most british fucking thing, that's literally something i say when I'm doing an overexaggerated british accent, oh my god,
PIPES IS SUCH A TINY DUMBASS. ILY SIR BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING
aaaand now you're covered in dead bodies, pipes. look at your life, look at your choices
drift epic sword moments
drift confirmed for the kinda weird guy who has katanas that he uses to like, cut up fruit and water bottles in his backyard while rodimus films him
‘i thought i heard...bickering’ lmaooooo
ah, so its covid
this arc is how i feel working in healthcare lmaooo especially now that i probably have covid
so rewind condensed the entire war into an 11 second long cringe compilation. nice
seeing the mechanical stuff past tailgate’s visor is so cool
poor tailgate, this guy is getting slammed with history from multiple sides. and like, bias is inevitable in ANY sort of recounting of events, especially controversial historical events, so poor tg just kinda has to take it all in and decide who to listen to
that’s...not really how immunity works, guys. also, you shouldn't be exposed to so much disease with proper ppe usage
is there even such thing as ppe in the transformers universe?? there are fluid- and contact-transmitted illnesses, so there SHOULD be
is there even OSHA in this universe??????? unbelievable
first aid, holding a giant fucking claw clamp: we haven't tried EVERYTHING............
first aid read a human wikihow article on how to jumpstart a car and took notes
i love tailgate’s ‘mom says its my turn on the xbox’ pose
tailgate has a point - he’s from pre-war times, where things weren't as grey so of course he would try to divide the two sides into ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’
CYCLONUS BE NICE DONT HIT UR FUTURE HUSBAND
go get some character development and then maybe you'll feel better
seeing the word quarantine is making me twitchy w/my possible month-long complete isolation quarantine on the horizon
drift pulling his swords on pipes and ratchet pushing down drift’s arms...lmao
poor pipes...even tho this is completely his fault, its still rough
also jesus, pharma and ratchet look so goddamn similar, reading this was so confusing the first time around
drifts idea of subduing pipes involves turning into a cool car and also posing with his sword
also. never gonna be over drift’s massive thighs. jesus man
ooof now drift has the rona. ouch
poor drift, his covid realization is getting overshadowed by pharma being flung around
first aid bustin thru w/the epic medical nipple clamps and some Big Boi Backup
ok that's an epic pre-beatdown speech from fort max right there, daym
im just gonna continue on w/issue 5 now for continuity’s sake. yay!
the cover of tailgate in magnus’s autobot school is so cute
and we open with an incredible shot of fort max str8 up ripping a guy in half. i mean, to be fair, he DID just give an epic speech about how much he was gonna do that, and he certainly followed thru
yeahhhhh, fort max is not doing so well atm
when he puts that dudes head in his chest vent thing and then snaps it shut....man
also i fucking LOVE when their faces are shaded all in black w/only the eyes/mouth fully drawn...fantastic stuff
ratchet: phew i am not equipped to deal w/this level of Fucked Up Mental Trauma. u good m8?
ratchet is already writing up a referral to rung for fort max as this is happening
drift is just laying on the ground dying like, oh hey yeahh I'm still here too
i fucking love when punctuation is drawn in story - like here where first aid has a little ? over his head....fav
ratchet holding drifts hand ;_;
ok tbh ambulon having switched sides 10 yrs ago is wild bc like, 10 years is barely any time for these guys, especially in a war that lasted 4 million years. that would be like a human switching sides in a war like, 3 months before it ends. probably. i sense some math bs, I'm just extrapolating here
all that mexican standoff shit is going down and first aid is just like But That's None Of My Business
ah so ambulon is an asymptomatic carrier
and there's first aid with the save! iconic
pharma calling ratchet ‘buddy’ hbvakjdsbfhkasdf
ooooh i love that they figured it out - and i love that twist, that transforming is what triggers the start of symptoms. remember when drift turned into a cool car? yep
s/o to Ambulon Transformers for helping me in my medical terminology courses, bc now ill always remember: Leg(tm)
also this explanation makes a ton more sense (in universe, at least) than the whole ‘i guess we as medical staff have been exposed to enough Germz that we’re more immune to this or something’ theory
ah, i love the meaningless (to me) alien robot medical jargon
drift and ratchet hhhhhhhhh
‘I'm too wide’ fort max L O R G E
also once again drift is forgotten in favor of a bunch of other dramatic stuff happening vbhjksdfbjhskdf
godddd i love tailgates little flashbacks where we see how Important and Special he is, complete with his ‘bomb disposal’ arm label...augh its so good!
and tailgate’s autopedia page even reflects his lies! like, did tailgate go edit that first thing upon waking up??? seriously, I'm fascinated by tailgate’s meticulous dedication to his fake life
also the fact that ultra magnus believes everything he read on autopedia is amazing lmao
ultra magnus: you think somebody would just go on the internet and tell lies?
fuckgin love magnus’s long ass name/title placard
tailgate hvbahjkdfbjhaskf i mean, he’s gotten the abridged version of everything else, of course he would assume that’d be the case here too...but not on magnus’s watch
magnus cant even say ‘fun’ hvukdasdbjfkjsadf i love my uptight law dad
love rung implying that upon questioning, he would easily divulge a patient’s name and maybe even information about said patient’s treatment while under him....love the disregard for patient confidentiality and hipaa in general
not that hipaa seems to exist here, at least not in a fully realized form
also i mean the above genuinely, i think rung’s tendency towards at least slight malpractice is very interesting
poor red alert....super bad luck that HE was the guy to get roped up in that overlord business
I'm glad that, at the very least, red alert was able to prove that he was Actually hearing something to rung, rather than get brushed off completely
god magnus and tailgate’s interactions are golden
also tg is much more sarcastic/quippy than anyone gives him credit for tbh
‘thought warfare,’ ultra magnus says with complete seriousness. god i fucking love this comic
now i can tell pharma apart from ratchet bc pharma has let his true Petty Bitch nature emerge and you can see it in his expressions
the whole ‘tarn is addicted to transforming’ thing didn't really go anywhere, right? i feel like i noticed that on my second readthru as well
also pharma is such an interesting character given the context of him like, trying to strike a bargain w/the djd to keep them from destroying delphi, but that arrangement inevitably kinda making him lose it as the situation escalates. he’s also just really entertaining bc i feel like he kins the joker or st and probably gets into really heated arguments w/people on twitter about just abt anything
‘sound bomb’ i love this comic
another important facet of pharma’s character becomes clear around this time as well - how he’s really into ratchet. i also choose to read them as awful exes tbh, it makes their dynamic even more entertaining
‘killmaster, with the wand’ is one of my favorite running remarks lmao
also, was killmaster even a character before mtmte? or, if he was, was he an important one? it would crack me up the most if he literally didn't exist at all, but any way you spin it is still funny
ratchet’s tiny humansona facing off against pharma is wild
‘I'm miles from anyone i truly care about’ brutal, ratchet, drift is dying like 2 floors away (im p sure)
SUDDENLY DRIFT IS HERE, ACTUALLY
oh don't worry first aid, that sure isn't the last we’ll be seeing of pharma
so like, did first aid save everyone by posting that data log to his wreckers fan blog or something? lmao love it
i love the pretty fucked up reveal of ratchet having stolen pharma’s hands. like, damn dude.
and that wraps up the delphi arc! our first true ‘arc’ of mtmte, and a fantastic one at that. short and snappy and fresh, with some very clever writing and cool new characters, and a lot of great plot threads to be picked up later. plus, we got to see the beginnings of drift and ratchet’s whole thing (and ratchet and pharmas whole thing). and the lost light gets some much needed extra medical staff, so everyone wins!
well, we’ll see how fort max feels about this all pretty soon.....
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im writing this mostly for myself because im so fuckin angry and i need to get this out and then move on…
now after episode 6 it’s clear that they didn’t give a shit about daenerys’s character, they just used her completely.. because if they did actually care about her, they would have written her either turning into a tyrant properly or written her descent into madness properly, and these things would have had actual consequences for the story… but that’s why they left her turning ”to the dark side” at the end, because her character arc had no purpose for them, they wrote her exactly they way they did just for jon snow to kill her… that was her whole purpose for her, to be killed by jon snow in a way that he doesn’t seem a horrible person for doing so…
let that sink in for a little bit… they screwed up one of their main charactes, the fire of the ice and fire, they used one of their main characters in the most disgusting way possible, to be killed as if she were nothing, as if she meant nothing for this story….
that’s why they played her decision to burn kings landing as a twist, because if they wanted to make a proper villain they should have started earlier… but they couldn’t because then it wouldn’t have made sense for her not to go for her enemies as well, and they needed jon snow and tyrion to be safe, they needed the plot to be safe from her actions unless it was for they’re purposes of shock value and tyrant bullshit rethoric and pain for jon snow…
so they blamed this decision on her so called ”madness”, but they didn’t even have the cheek to write her go mad properly, she was mad only when they needed her to be, she was good and soft when they needed her to be, she was ruthless when they needed her to be… who the fuck turns mad in a couple of days?? Have these man really no understandig of what mentall illness or even a breakdown is?? How the fuck is madness selective, burning just the right people, burning innocents but not going for the people who actually hurt her?? she was mad but not mad enough to kill jon snow, the man who actually betrayed her??
and the same goes for them trying to say that it was foreshadowed, it’s simply disgusting and insulting to the way mental illness or even a proper descent into madness in a fictional world should be portrayed.. DISGUSTING
but they did it this way specifically for jon snow to kill her and to focus on how hard it is for him… had she been truly mad or evil or even actively making cruel decisions, jon snow would not have been alive at the end, because she would have fuckin killed the only person who had a better claim than her as a ruler.. no, she was tender when she needed to be, to make jon snow feel bad when she kills her, she was mad and cruel only when other characters needed to have long ass conversations about her so that it makes them seem like the good guys…
daenerys wasn’t even a proper villain, she wasn’t mad, she was just the proper small amount of both, enough to solve some problems for the plot, enough to fool audiences into thinking this was foreshadowed and intended all along, she was just used..
if this is her arc in the books as well, if she is to descent into madness in the books, then it’s even worse because they fuckin adapted it in the worst way possible, they couldn’t commit to write her the proper way, they just didn’t care.. they had all these years to show a nuanced character develompent up to this point but no, they just used her character for cool lines and dragons and show posters.. and i know they didn’t adapt her character faithfully from the books anyway (thats actually one of the reasons i stopped watching after season 4, the growing change in her character) but even so, this season was a new low and i wasn’t expecting this bullshit writing..
this wasn’t “the blurring of the lines of good and evil, of greatness and madness” in a character, it was just a complete disregard for her integrity as a character, utter nonsense, this is not how it’s done..
i know they literally screwed up every character in this series except for the ones who died til season 4 but the way they did it to dany is just unbelievably horrible..10 years with this main character and we couldn’t even see her thoughts, her struggles and her horrible pain as she was slowly losing it, as she was slipping away..
and grief and mental illness are such complex things that they can’t be dealt with in one episode, that’s why it’s so bad what they did to her, that’s why it stands out more than making tyrion stupid or turning bran into a robot..
after the ending we got it’s obvious that they didn’t put any thought into this story and characters and they just wanted to get it over with, but i’ll never forgive them, no other character was screwed to this extent, maybe just bran...
it pains me so much that they treated her like this, im just appalled and not even by her fate but just by the way in which they treated her as a main character in a story..absolutely disgusting…
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On The Pyre
Request from ianneart: Hi! I got a samifer fic idea in mind (lel). Im currently watching season 6 in supernatural and i saw this interesting thing sam said about hallucinating lucifer to bobby : “seeing Lucifer is…okay. I sorta think it’s the best scenario situation of them all.”
And my samiferness got jump started like nobody’s business. I imagine it like a one-shot, sam-centric pondering of sorts, where sam takes us through his mind and manages to convince us Lucifer’s company is…okay.
I’m so sorry this is late! I hope you enjoy the fic regardless.
Started: 16.04.29
Finished: 19.03.15
Words: 2,146
Samifer, Hallucifer
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“You’re sure you’ll be okay here by yourself?” Dean threw his duffle over his shoulder and paused in the doorway, not wanting to leave his mentally ill brother.
“Dean, I’m fine.”
“Yeah Dean, we’re gonna have a great time,” Lucifer jumped up from his spot on the couch to stand beside the hunter and winked.
What the hell are you doing?
The blonde frowned, “What Sammy? Oh right... you don’t like when I talk in front of Big Bro.”
The younger man tried to hide his confusion and focused on his brother.
Dean scrubbed a hand down his face, “I left my number on the fridge. Call if anything... happens.”
“Will do,” Sam nodded, “Now go give those sons-of-bitches what’s coming to them.”
While he was grateful for his brother’s protectiveness, he didn’t understand his lack of confidence in him, he’d been alone plenty of times before without issue.
“But you aren’t truly alone now,” Lucifer wrapped a possessive hand around the giant’s arm, “Besides, it’s not like having me here is the real problem,” he stroked it tenderly, “right Sammy?”
Focus... Sam ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to block out the words.
With a regretful look back to his brother, Dean nodded and headed out.
“Finally... I thought he’d never leave,” Lucifer clapped the hunter on the shoulder as he closed the door.
He does like to worry. Wait, what are you doing? Don’t let him in, Sam heard the Impala take off as he made his way to the couch.
“Well, now that we’re alone...” Lucifer waggled his eyebrows and straddled the hunter.
“What the fuck,” the giant jumped up and took a couple steps backward.
“Sam,” the blonde gave him a curious look as he picked himself up off the floor, “we’ve done this before you know.”
“No we haven’t,” the hunter had the nerve to look appalled, much to the devil’s amusement.
As if he doesn’t remember it was his idea... He brushed himself off and analysed the hunter, “Sam, do you... ,” he struggled to find the words, not wanting to give something away that he wasn’t ready to hear, “You remember what happened in the cage, don’t you?”
“Of course I remember,” he crossed his arms and cocked his head, “why do you ask?” And why do you sound so... hurt?
Lucifer shifted his gaze down to the floor as he worked out how to continue, “So then you... remember? W-what we did?”
“Damn right I remember what you did to me you son-of-a-bitch,” he couldn’t help but notice the flinch the blonde gave at his tone, Pfftt, please Sam... as if the devil is scared of you, get real.
“No,” Lucifer closed his eyes and sighed before he locked gazes with the hunter, “Do you remember what we did?”
“What do you-”
“In the cage, yes you were tortured, but never by my own hand,” the explanation rushed out of him, almost as if he couldn’t stop it, “it was all Michael. I told you I’d never hurt you Sam, and I meant it. I did everything I could to get between you and Michael, I couldn’t just stand there and watch him break you over and over again. So I... I made you a hide out.”
“A hideout?”
“A place where Michael wouldn’t be able to get to you. I set up a decoy version of you for him to take his frustrations out on, so he wouldn’t notice you were gone-”
“A decoy? Where do you get a decoy Sam Winchester from, Hunters R Us?” Sam chuckled and crossed his arms, remaining skeptical of the explanation.
“Not exactly...” Lucifer winced, clearly not wanting to divulge the information.
“Lucifer,” Sam’s voice was hard and he took a step toward the shorter man, “what did you use as a decoy?”
“Your body.”
“My body?!”
“Yes. I pulled your body apart from your soul,” Lucifer began again, following as the hunter collapsed back onto the couch, “completely detached so your soul wouldn’t sustain any more damage. A soul can only take so much before it becomes so corrupted that it can no longer be restored,” he was sitting on the coffee table now, cross legged in front of Sam.
“Wait, what do you mean restored?”
Lucifer sighed, “As you know, if a soul gets twisted and corrupted long enough it becomes a demon which means that person is then forever damned to Hell.”
“So...” he could see the hunter was having trouble piecing it together, “you prevented my soul from becoming irreversibly corrupted so I could what? Get into Heaven?” Sam threw his head back and laughed as he saw the blonde’s cheeks flare up, “Well I’m sorry to disappoint you Satan, but I’m pretty sure I’m the poster boy for what to do to get yourself into the fiery gates.”
Lucifer shook his head, “You don’t understand.”
“I don’t understand?” he stood up and started pacing, mind racing, I can’t believe I’m discussing the fate of my soul with the devil, “well please, by all means, explain it to me.”
The blonde ran a hand through his hair, this isn’t going to sound good, “If your soul was irreversibly corrupted and you became a demon, you could never be used as a vessel again,” at the look Sam gave him he continued, “I know you think that is a good thing, but your soul shines so bright...,” he dropped his gaze down to the floor, “seeing it corrupted would have devastating effects.”
Sam remained silent, unsure of what to make of this news. Is he telling the truth? If he is lying, what is he hoping to achieve? What’s the point of him telling me this?
“I will wage a war against the angels on the day when Sam Winchester isn’t allowed into the garden.”
It was spoken barely above a whisper, but Sam definitely heard the words. He wasn’t sure whether or not to believe them, but the soft spoken tone made him start to question his earlier judgement. There was no denying the undertone of care that sentence carried, as though he was speaking about someone he didn’t just need to keep safe, but wanted to.
“Lucifer,” Sam kept his tone soft, and found himself placing a hand on the man’s knee, “what don’t I remember?”
The blonde drew in a shaky breath in a failed attempt to keep his voice calm, “After I detached your soul, I gave your body specific instructions. It was to taunt Michael and lead him over to one side of the cage, so I could get your soul to the hideout on the other side. It did a remarkable job,” he noted with a small smile.
“Michael couldn’t understand how you’d got so cocky but was more than happy to rip the confidence back out of you. Once I made sure he was...” he swallowed thickly and closed his eyes, “occupied, I brought you over to the hideout, and did what I could to heal the damage,” it sounded as though he was fighting back tears and he hid his face in his hands, “but there wasn’t much I could do. I thought I could heal you, as I was once an angel but I-”
He cut himself off and hung his head lower, drawing in a shaky breath. Sam blinked and was surprised to see he had encompassed the ex-angel in his arms while he’d listened. What the... ?
“It’s okay, Sam,” Lucifer broke in, scooting out of the hunter’s embrace and hastily wiping at his eyes, “it’s my voice,” he gave a weak smile, “there’s a reason they called me ‘silver-tongued’.”
Sam got up and sat back down on the couch, unsuccessfully avoiding thinking about how... familiar it was to hold him, and about how unbelievably captivating it was to hear him speak. There was no way that was normal.
“What, ugh,” the hunter cleared his throat, “what happened when you touched my soul?”
“I ended up branding it, similar to when a soul gets bought by a demon, anyone else who touched your soul would know that I claimed it. That meant that it couldn’t be traded in any deal, or sold without my permission.”
The way Lucifer explained what he’d done made it sound like he felt guilty, and the way he kept avoiding Sam’s eyes didn’t help. Well what do you expect? He condemned your soul to Hell when that was the last thing he’d wanted, Sam found himself reaching forward again, but didn’t stop himself this time. Didn’t feel the need to stop himself. What would be the harm, anyway? No one’s around.
“The good news,” the blonde’s voice broke threw the hunter’s thoughts, “was that since I had branded it, it had become protected against further damage. No one, not even Michael could continue to harm it,” he ran a hand through his hair and rested his head against Sam’s shoulder, “the bad news, is that it couldn’t be healed past what I’d started. My branding had... preserved it, formed a protective barrier around its current state. Nothing could get in, good or bad... just in time too.”
Lucifer had stopped talking then, letting his voice taper off at the end of the sentence like the last few notes of a song, and allowed a silence to fall while he was held close to the hunter’s chest.
Sam breathed him in and kissed the top of his head, no longer caring about knowing all the answers. He just wanted to savour this moment, the peacefulness of holding him close. Wanted to savour the dream-like state that had taken over before Dean got back. He prayed for his brother not to come back so soon. After all, how often did he get to enjoy moments like this?
He wasn’t sure whether it was because his voice carried some sort of magic, or because of the branding on his soul, but having Lucifer in his arms, feeling his heartbeat had softened the moment—he didn’t want his brother stomping in and shattering that.
“Not too long after that,” the blonde began again with a long sigh, “Michael had began to look for me. I was stupid to think he wouldn’t have noticed I disappeared,” he shook his head at his own misjudgment, “I sensed he was getting close to the hideout so I had to leave you to meet him.”
“He caught up to me in the middle and was dragging your body behind him. Seeing what he did to you...” Lucifer snuggled his head against Sam’s chest and tightened his grip, “he was obviously curious as to where I’d been and why I wasn’t helping torture you since I am the devil,” he sneered the word like it was too vial to pass through his lips.
Like he doesn’t want the title.
“I couldn’t let on to what I was doing,” he dropped his voice low, as if saying it quieter would make it hurt less, “so I-” his voice broke and he buried his head into the hunter’s chest, “Sammy, I’m sorry.”
Sam turned him around so he was no longer sideways across his lap and pulled him close, rubbing a soothing hand over his back when he felt tears start to drip down his shirt.
“Ssshhh... It’s okay... Luce you’re okay,” Sam kept his voice soft as he continued rubbing circles into his back.
Sam’s words only succeeded in making him cry harder and the hunter would be lying if he said seeing him cry wasn’t hurting his heart. Whatever you did, it doesn’t matter.
“Sam-”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“I was so worried, I never wanted to tell you.”
“Luce,” Sam pushed him backward slightly, gently swiping at his eyes, “I don’t care what happened. You-”
The door slamming open made the giant jump, and he stood, confused as his brother burst through the door, eyes frantic.
“Uh, Dean?”
“They’re coming,” he all but ran to the back of the cabin, “We need to leave, now.”
Sam rushed to the back as well, gathering his stuff, “What happened?”
“No time,” Dean brush passed him, glancing quickly at the giants’ face before pausing, keeping his eyes on him, “… Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he shifted his weight nervously and glanced back at the now-empty couch, “why?”
“Looks like – never mind. We don’t have time. Meet me outside in five if you don’t want to be monster chow.”
Sam continued packing his stuff, doing his best to sift-through all the information he’d been given.
“Better hurry, Sam. I can feel them,” Lucifer was spread out on the bed, eyes on the floor.
“Luce-”
“Dean’s waiting.”
Sam sighed as he shouldered his duffle, making his way back out to the living room, pausing in the front entrance, “Come with me.”
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#fanfiction#spn#spn fanfiction#Samifer#Sam Winchester#Lucifer#SPN Lucifer#short stories#writing#fanfic#fanfic request#Hallucifer#Dean Winchester
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yoonpark hcs
ugh this gif ! the hecking flavor
anyways uwu hello again my friends today we return to our moonchild with some hecking fresh content,,, some yoonpark
but this time with some additional Spice. Some Flavor.
*youtuber voice* let just jump right into it
yall met at a club oopsies but it does not play out the way you think it does !
u and persi were at the club like a couple of losers and persi was tipsy but u were just. fucking drunk and u were RAMBLING about the composition of the song currently blasting through the club and you were like “tHis, my dudes, is fucking GARBAGE”
u proceeded to go on a ten minute tangent about why this song was trashy and awful even though a different song has been playing for a while now
and yoongi, slightly tipsy, looks at you and goes Oh? I Too Have Strong Feelings On The Music Selections
and u feel. someone staring at you and you turn around and its this?? hot guy?? and ur like Oh Fuck Dude Persi-
but persi has YEETED away its now just you, in your booth, with a drink, and ur boii is like “this is my chance” and he slides in and ur lik FUCK
but you guys hit it off and spend the rest of the night talking about music and stuff and eventually yall get each others numbers before you each head ur seperate ways back home
u wake up in the morning with a massive hangover going what the HECK while persi hands u some water, cackling as they tell you to check ur phone
and u DO and theres this guy,,,, in ur texts,, telling you good morning and he hopes your hangover isnt too bad since you drank a lot
he also mentions that you have good music taste
and u YODEL
and that is how yall meet !!! and tbh yall didnt see each other in person fora while but turns out hes the cutest yet snarkiest boy ever and yall text daily!!! turns out hes an aspiring producer and musician and ur just. in LOVE!!
but its also the same for bb boii because hearing you talk about languages and ur love for teaching (also the fact that ur not a native korean speaker but ur still so good at it?? his heart goes doki doki just for you) and hes just So Very In Love with you and your passion and drive !!!!
and yall grew closer and closer before,,, yall go out on a bit of a date but also just to hang out its Hard To Tell but ur both a bit nervous so its moreso like a date uwu
and yall hang around a history museum before going out to the City and visit markets and stores and eat dinner and stuff (dont worry he remember how picky you are and made sure he found a nice place with multiple options that would appeal to you !!) before yall hit a music store !! yall explore the albums available there but also the instruments and ur like wow these are all so cool !! and then,,
yoongi sits down by the piano and starts playing this super short piece but ur heart, goes doki doki and ur like heck im hecking in love
u stand there shellshocked as yoongi waves his hand in front of ur face like ?? hello??? maam???
anyways after more dates like that yall make it Official and u guys are legit so cute and dorky its unbelievable
although yall do love going out and exploring, especially at night,, yall treasure those indoors dates as well when youre both just too tired to go out and have fun !! it consists of wiggling to some choice music, binge watching a good series, dramatic readings of some nice books, napping together, trying (and failing) to make some food before ordering takeout, etc
also sometimes ur indoors dates do devolve into criticizing some of the more questionable music tastes of the other
yoongi: dude halsey sounds like the baninis and avocados vine
you: she does and i love her for it, now shut the fuck up before i bring up kanye west
yoongi: bitch you better stop i get it i once had bad taste but i CHANGED
jokes jokes but fr yall are such big hecking nerds about stuff together of course you have music in common !! its a big interest of both of yours but you guys also have your own other interests !!!
you both love love photography so you both can be spotted just going out to explore and take photos, but also if one fo you wakes up early you take a cute pic of the other while theyre sleeping and then you wake up bc of the clicking sound and u both lie there giggling and being cutiepies
also he knows ur not necessarily the biggest fan of basketball and you dont necessarily go out of ur way to play it but this boy, this absolute nerd, loves to flex on you with his basketball skills dont even @ him on this okay
yoongi: heyo wanna do a competition on who can spin a basketball on there finger the longest
you: eh i think ill pass
yoongi: what if,,, i bought you some filipino food
you: Bring It On, Bitch Boy
yall playfully call each other insults btw but its all in good fun and only done occasionally !! usually yall call each other by ur names but !! sometimes yoongi drops a casual pet name and u go,,, Oh Worm??
and sometimes when u wanna embarass him u call him the sweetest, cringiest pet names in public, ESPECIALLY in front of his six bffs and they all go Oh? Yoongles? Baby? Sweetie Pie? Parker’s Pumpy Umpy Umpkin?? and he is out for the kill now sleep with one eye open parker
also pls do expect some hecking COOL trakc she made dedicated to you he made one for your 1 year anniversary and u cried because sometime its just instrumentals but this time it included a rlly heartfelt rap and u SOBBED nd hes like OOPS but also hehehe
also u both sometimes struggle with mental health and u guys just have,, the others fave comfort foods saved in the notes app and when one of yall texts the other going “sorry had a rough day” yall pick up the others fave foods then go and cuddle them
but if ur rough patches coincide yall do ur best to motivate the other to at least get smth small done that day so you can both be proud that in spite of it all you still made at least some progress :)
anyways you guys are the sweetest, cutest, dweebiest couple alive an god do we stan !!! just go ahead and flex on the rest of us with your functional healthy and cute relationship
but also here comes the s p i c e
hello??? yes i had to include at least some spice to this i mentioned spice a l o t
anyways ur the biggest brat to grace the earth and our boy loves to make you fucking weep and submit to him oopsies
hes a lot more dominant than his exterior lets him on to be ! and the marks on your skin (and by skin i mean All Over Your Body) only goes to show that he has no mercy and if you purposely tease him even a lil he will absolutely wreck you
he likes seeing u in lingerie !! like can either of you, one a musician the other a hopeful linguist and teacher, afford these expensive ass sets? no, but he loves seeing you in white lace and not even god could stop him ! unfortunate how sometimes he gets too rough and tears it off and u dont say anything in the moment but when you wake up the next morning, sore as fuck, you look at the remains of the cute lingerie and go,, yoongi that was 200 bucks
and hes like huh? thats awful spicy
anyways ur both initially a bit quiet during sex but when u accidentally let slip that ur just a bit of a degradee ur boy,, loses it
and from now on he dirty talks you to the high heavens and ur like FUCK because sometimes he calls you his whore but other times he sarcastically calls you princess and ur like,,, heck
also :^) his tongue technology is no joke :^) when he eats you out all of ur neighbors find out his name oopsies because he knows exactly what to do with his tongue and ur there, shaking, enjoying it all
honestly just expect to be sore
but he isnt always this intense !! sometimes he just wants to be close to you and yall spoon and stuff
or he might have had a long day producing so you just ride him
also some might say he sleeps immediately after sex but i think hed make sure that youre totally fine first
like he cleans you up with a towel, runs you a bath if you have the energy, and cuddles you and once ur both settled THEN will he fall asleep
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GODDAMN IM SPAMMING TODAY. it’s been a long ass day why is the patriarchy real like fuck all my uncles who make me do all the cooking bc i’m a girl ugh. ANYWAY if y’all wanna jus talk about something that made u happy today bc i just had a random crash (i love mental illness!) so idk give me somethin sweet ??? i love ben hanscom with my Whole Ass Heart that’s my happy thing for the day. just ben existing tbh -🏳️🌈
Thank you so much, friend. That really means a lot to me and so do you! I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had a bad day. Please, join us in the blanket fort where there are no unhappy thoughts and sit and talk for a while. We are all good cuddlers. Something that made me happy today was that I woke up really early while Bev was still sleeping, there was a strip of sunlight filtering through the gap in the curtains that went across her face and she looked so unbelievably beautiful that I might have cried a little bit, okay? I just lay next to her for like two whole hours and watched her sleep and it was the highlight of my day. Did you know that she crinkles her nose a little bit while she’s sleeping? And her eyelashes flutter and it’s so pretty. I counted all of the freckles on her face. There are 87, but some of them are tiny so it was hard. She has some on her lips, too, but they’re really faint.
- Ben
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ed anon get HELP 😭😭😭 you really don’t understand that people gain and lose weight and just. exist?????. a person after giving birth will gain some weight same w someone who is struggling with mental illness can gain or lose weight lol it’s definitely not something that you can “control” like rhat and many many people who are overweight just. happen to have a body that makes them gain weight more easily?? also is someone confusing being overweight vs being obese. and there’s nothing wrong with having fat that your body needs to survive ☠️ people need to eat and sometimes healthy food isn’t available do you know how expensive that is??? and people who are stuck at home so of course they gained some weight bc their body is keeping them alive :))) << i may have realized some weeks ago that i may or may not have an ed and may i say fuck these shitty beauty standards i literally fainted and threw up last year after i ate almost nothing in days, talk about control! lmao i feel bad for you. i hope you get better soon.
MENTION IT ALL 🗣 they were honestly so fucking tragic lol ive never seen such blatant projection in my entire life lmfaooo half of me thinks it was just bait because it was so overtly stupid. if it wasn't they definitely need help and also to learn to shut the fuck up cause if thats how they conduct themselves irl no one is going to want to give them the time of day and for good reason LOL. it's so sad like they just completely disregarded all this nuance and all these different factors on their quest to feel better than fat ppl. they said allll that on something they're unbelievably ignorant about and for what. doesn't surprise me at all that they have an ED like it was very clear they were just mad at fat ppl for thriving and being happy and confident in a way they've never been in their life! and the fact that they had the audacity to talk about control it's like babe youre not in control if you have to starve yourself to feel somewhat alright. i hope they get better soon too but i also hope they stay away from fat ppl forever lol they don't deserve access to their friendship or time at least with their current mindset, what a cunt. anyway love im proud of you for being able to admit whats going on to yourself, thats a really big step. i know ed's are the scariest and most frustrating thing in the world but the unequivocal fact of the matter is that you deserve to recover, you deserve to feel ok in your own body and you deserve to be nourished. no ifs, ands or buts. i really hope that you're able to seek out the professional help you need, whether that's via a hotline or a support group or a therapist and that this enables you to grow into a healthier version of yourself with time. it really isn't impossible. much love x
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heyo, i’m katie, kate, k, whatever you like, my pronouns are she/her/hers, i am in the cst, and i am very excited to bring you my extremely underdeveloped baby child, sage lassiter !! bear with me as i figure him out more, for now, here is some about him and at the bottom some wanted connections !!
( I AM DESPERATE, IF NOTHING ELSE. ) * ★ : ｡ * — starlight is approaching, my dear. ( SAGE LASSITER ) is a ( 22 ) year old ( cismale ) myriad just waiting to unfold. he resides in apartment ( 2b ). though he can be quite ( apprehensive ), he makes it up by being so ( sanguine ). he is of resemblance to ( louis tomlinson ) but to us, it’s no wonder why he truly incarnates ( MERCURY ) ( kate, 20, she/her/hers, cst )
ALSO HIS STATS ARE ON THIS PAGE SO if you don’t wanna read this all you can get the general idea here
TW: violence, murder, suicide, self harm, depression, anxiety starting at BULLETPOINT 4 !!
sage grew up in was born in oxford, england to his parents. his parents weren’t english but they moved there because his dad was studying law at oxford university he was very very very intelligent it was unbelievable
his mom was a nanny so he got to stay home with her and they were so, so , so close
he was an only child until age 13 when the most traumatic life changing event ever happened
one night when he and his mom and dad were all home, sage was in his bedroom playing a video game and he heard a lot of noise downstairs. they had a neighbor who was known to be violent and he came into the house in an attempt to rob them when sage’s dad pulled out a gun and said he’d shoot if he stole anything. the neighbor left then but came back later and they were sitting in the living room after calling the cops to let them know what happened and the neighbor shot both his mom and dad and then himself because before he could shoot sage, the cops showed up
it was then that he was brought into child services while they tried to find family to send him to live with instead of foster care, so since his parents were not from the uk he was sent away from his child home all the way to colorado to live with his mom’s sister, her wife, and their two daughters (one older than sage and one just his age – i may send in wanted connections for them)
anyway, this obviously really messed him up and he’s been going to therapy since he was 13 and is diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and has a really hard time with impulsivity
as a person though he is really so Soft and so Kind and Warm and he just wants to feel protected and loved all the time
he cannot be mean. like it isn’t in his dna he literally couldn’t be mean to anyone
he’s very very protective and very very Aware of everything and afraid of ppl leaving or something bad happening
because of that he’s always the friend to call you or text you if he’s worried about you or if you don’t text him when you make it home
despite everything he’s usually pretty calm ? just on the daily he’s okay, but he’s got some medication for his ptsd and in turn some anti-anxieties and anti-depressants
he also likes 2 get high in his apartment bcuz it calms him down and makes him feel all loosey goosey and happie
he’s in college studying psychology (how stereotypical) and non-profit organization because he wants to work with children who have ptsd and other mental illnesses like he does
he’s also Gay As Fuck, like, he loves boys and he’s been out for awhile since his aunts are gay they were very welcoming and accepting about it and that was one thing he was able to be secure in. he v much found his comfort in his sexuality and being able to express it freely
he has a pride flag on his bedroom wall by his bed that’s very important to him it’s gone with him to every pride parade and he cherishes it
so … i love him. my baby. my sweet soft baby
SO HERE ARE SOME WANTED CONNECTIONS THANK U IF U READ ALL THAT LMAO IM VERY LONG WINDED
FRIENDSHIP PLOTS
BEST FRIEND / OTHER HALF / HIS PERSON ; since sage moved here around what would have been his grade 9 year in england, he came into america’s school system a year younger than everyone. he was 13 his freshman year of highschool and was really really smart and very very small and afraid and sad, so i imagine this friend came in and they were very protective of him and they stood up for him and they were just like his Other Half and the person who made him feel so much more comfortable here than he was - kennedy amari
EX BEST FRIEND ; someone he was really close to before they graduated high school and then maybe they had a falling out and weren’t as close, but we can play around with them getting close again?? or maybe they really don’t like each other now?? i have a hard time with the idea that sage does anything Maliciously but maybe he just became too much for this friend with all of his Things that he has - johanna pierson
FRIENDS FROM AN UNLIKELY CIRCUMSTANCE ; sage has been hospitalized a time or two under suicide watch and other things related to his ptsd, so maybe in one of his inpatient visits he made a friend and they got really close. they don’t have to have been in the hospital for mental illness, but anything ?? it would be easier with mental illness but if no one else has been hospitalized then anything will work
SMOKING BUDDIES ; this can be multiple ppl ! i imagine he gets high with kennedy his roommate a lot, but he really only smokes week and drinks so he just likes to get high at home and eat n watch movies n snuggle and what have you - kit henderson
ROMANTIC PLOTS
HIGH SCHOOL BOYFRIEND/PARTNER / EX BOYFRIEND/PARTNER ; again sage is like…. he wouldn’t ever cheat or lie or anything but he is very very clingy and does have a lot of Things that make it hard to be in a relationship. maybe they dated for a long while and were very very in love and sage just had such a hard time with the idea of anyone sticking around that it got to be A Lot to deal with so the partner was like… sage we can’t do this anymore i’m so sorry and they were both equally broken hearted and maybe we can play with the idea of them getting back in contact with each other or something. ??
FIRST KISS ; cute lil middle school kiss !! it could be with a girl or boy or anyone really, because they were so young but maybe they were also each other’s first partners, and if this was a girl then maybe they were the first person sage really came out to and now they’re good friends?? - luna medina
FIRST BOYFRIEND ; the first boy he got to be with !! could’ve been a secret at first because he wasn’t out and it was just cute sneaking around being teenagers n what have you
OTHER PLOTS
ROOMMATES ; pretty self explanatory but they’re really close friends as she’s constantly seeing him in his natural state, reminding him to take his medicine, sometimes driving him to therapy if he’s too down to do it, basically best friends that live together and it’s a hoot and they get high n order chinese n mexican food take out and they just love each other so much - kennedy amari
STUDY PARTNERS ; sage is pretty smart and could easily tutor your character? but it could also just be a friend they found each other in classes and started hanging out at school and eating together and studying together
CO WORKER ; sage works at starbucks because Duh, and he has for like two years now (and would desperately love a new job) but maybe these two have worked together since he started, or since they started if they’re newer than he is
LITERALLY ANYTHING !! PLEASE PLOT W SAGE
ok…. longest intro ever ask mack i do this every damn time lmao
pls like this post or message me if u would like 2 plot <3
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Equilibrium is blowing my mind 😮😮😮 I never expected jungkook to suddenly turn into some possessive psycho jerk 😨😨 I really hope he gets his shit together. What the flying f*ck 😱😱😱 In fact It'd be cool if Jin suddenly showed up with food and The OC leaves that chaotic relationship for food 😂😂😂😂 EVRYONE WOULD PICK FOOD OVER RELATIONSHIPS. right ? Am i the only one lol *cries*
AHHHH THANK YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE FOR THEIR LOVELY ASKS!!! IT’S GOOD TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE CAN HAVE HEALTHY, NON-PROBLEMATIC REACTIONS TO GROSS, CONTROLLING MEN!
Anonymous said:Sorry for being late to the party lol, but I just read the new update of Equilibrium and I felt so fucking anxious and scared for the oc. I don't know how in the hell, some ppl find jungkook's actions hot when he is literally being psychotic and obsessive. Especially the part when he told her 'You'll regret it', he's basically threatening her there. It's obvious the whole relationship they have is toxic af and it only seems to be getting worse as time passes. Apart from that, have a nice day!
Anonymous said:OMG EQUILIBRIUM 11 Omg I still have goosebumps, like Jungkook was being so fucking possessive it scared the shit out of me. Even tho It was a shitty move for the oc to not attend his graduation, she still could had attended but that phone call... I don't want this to turn into some creepy murdering fanfic LOL. Ughhh Jungkook what is even going in your mind? I'll be looking forward to the next chapter! xx :)
Anonymous said:Dude, you did such a great job at writing o/c's anxiety in this chapter. I try not to be bias toward her, but it's really hard since the story us in her pov. I got seriously grossed out by JK, man. I was so uncomfortable with the whole morning ordeal. 😩 And his threat at the end?? I know it's a story, but I had my friend-instincts kick in and I just wanted to shake her and be like "PLEASE LEAVE THIS RN PLEASE" (1)
Anonymous said:(2) And I'm curious about how Jimin would react if he knew how JK was acting. He has this idea that JK is a perfect boy, but if only he knew...But, at the same time, they all have this distorted view of one another, huh? We see Jimin as Mr. Perfect cause that's how o/c sees him. I guess it goes into that whole "unreliable narrator" thing? I'm just writing what thoughts the chapter has provoked. I absolutely love how u pay attention to detail in this story!! Awesome job as usual, mane 😊🙆
Anonymous said:Jungkook needs to take a moment to realize how miserable and uncomfortable the OC is like my goodness. Things have gone waaaaaay downhill. Especially for the OC. Also Jungkook actions are just kind of creepy??? And just like so unhealthy. I know it can be really hard to get out of a relationship, and she still loves Jimin and all, but the OC needs to just get out of there.
Anonymous said:omg jk is becoming such a possessive creep like reading the last part gave me chills tbh. they all need to realize that this relationship is v toxic and dip out of it. i kind of expected this to become what it is from the beginning but you still added twists to it that caught me off guard, thanks for being a great writer lu
Anonymous said:oh man that last chapter. just really fucking scary.... i went back and reread the end of ch.10 to recap and it makes me wonder how far y/n's willing to go for what's "worth it" in exchange for her own personal well being. because fuck, what jungkook is exhibiting is extremely concerning. as always your writing is amazing! thank you for using your free time this way, i'm sorry people are being gross and rude. you don't deserve that kinda shit, lu :(
Anonymous said:I genuinely love how you describe the OC as a trapped bird, and seeing how Jungkook reacted to everything is actually causing me to fear for the OC's well-being. I just want her to exist the whole relationship and just hook up with sunshine, can do no wrong hobi instead of the possessive junglecock and the passive Jimin :/ just my thoughts. But you're an extremely talented writer and your PhD is more important than smutty fanfic, so take all the time you need
Anonymous said:Ok first of all what the hell at ppl asking u for quick updates cuz ive lived with phd students they literally have a never ending to do list and im so amazed at ur ability to find time to write unbelievable. U go girl. And 2ndly, the claustraphobia u mentioned that oc was feeling. That was so detailed and even i felt like i was in her place. And jk..uve characterized his possessiveness so well and i got so mad forgetting this was a fictional character i was ready to throw a chair
Anonymous said:eek jungkook is making the equilibrium relationship so unhealthy somebody punch him
Anonymous said:Jungkook makes me so uncomfortable and I can actually feel the claustrophobia that OC feels .-. Overall, really excited for the next parts and can't wait to reread to see if I can find more theories. Thanks for the new chapter!
Anonymous said:ch 11... HOLY FUCK SHE NEED TO GET OUT JK IS LOONEY!! you really know how to make a story really good dude. super excited for updates!! i'm really curious about jimin's thought process about all of this. you've given a really good insight on kook and oc but jimin is still a little hard for me to figure out, i assume that's coming soon? i feel for oc, i want to protect her and tell her she's stronger and smarter than all of this. she's worth more than all of this craziness!!! GIRL POWER!! lol
Anonymous said:Holy fucking shit everything is so messed up in equilibrium like !! I love it and at the same time i cry because of the way you describe the oc's feelings I SWEAR I CAN FEEL IT TOO HOW DO YOU DO THAT? I can feel everything, my heart is pounding so fast now. Im so into it and i just want her to run away from this toxic relationship and take care of herself first like i know she loves jimin to the core but she is more important my heart clenches at every exquisite word you writE THANK YOU SO MUCH
Anonymous said:The story is really great I love how original your writing is I don't even see the characters as Jm an jk Which allows me to see how disgusting they all let themselves be treated in the relationship, a lot of the times I feel like readers are blinded by the image of an idol it changes their perspective honestly even if it was just one person who was lying about loving the other it would still be just as horrible I'm really curious as to what's even going on and how you are going to continue it❤️
ahmie-cat said:I feel so sad for the oc in equilibrium. Jungkook don't own nobody! How dare he claim ownership on the oc! I will fight him any day! I'll fight for the oc's freedom rights. Lols, just kidding... But really all of the characters are so sad...
Anonymous said:Honestly in the earlier chapters i really liked Jungkook but now hes just scaring me. The way the OC reacts to all his actions is so relatable thats exaclty how I would feel in her situation. This is crazy I dont even know how this fic would end I love it so much
Anonymous said:I was the anon who recommended you watch wfkbj and I'm so glad you like it!! :) ALSO the latest chapter of equilibrium was so good oh my god;; it's just ramping up like tenfold and while I was reading it sometimes I just had to stop and take a breather bc of all the tension lol. Honestly I don't even know how the oc is dealing with jungkook rn bc his behavior would chill me to the very bone I would have to get out !!! Anyways as always thank you for updating
Anonymous said:ah goodness, it was autocorrect that changed jungkook to jongkook! maybe next time i'll just use jinglebook to refer to him instead thens ahahahah. "goodness gracious, jinglebook is hella possessive that i'm actually really scared for y/n :s"
Anonymous said:GIRL THANK YOU FOR UPDATING OMG IM SHAKING IN MY CHANKLAS JUNGKOOK IS SO DELUSIONAL AND I WISHED OC WOULDVE BEEN STRAIGHT UP WITH HIM AND LIKE IDK NOT MILK ON HIS CRAZYNESS IM JUST SO ANXIOUS TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT SORRY FOR TYPING IN CAPS
Anonymous said:So, uh. Equilibrium Jungkook is fucking terrifying....
Anonymous said:I hope the oc in equilibrium leaves the relationship. It's so unhealthy and I feel like she might develop some type of mental illness or just be very stressed and anxious if she continues the relationship.... It's just a fanfic, but man, i'd hate to be in her position... I feel like crying Lols. Is this what you intended?? Haha.... It's really good so far I'm looking forward to what happens next. I feel like there'll be a good moral to the story. *Fingers crossing.
Anonymous said:Damn wtf jungkook behavior is freaking me out 😳 "you'll regret it" like wtf crazy people say shit like that
Anonymous said:jkzldlzlldz TF IS HAPPENING I'M SO CONFUSED JK IS CRAZY WTF OMG
Anonymous said:the characters in equilibrium seem to have never been in an actual proper relationship so the fact that they seem to have lasted this long is by sheer miracle. It's also probably why their worst aspects are even more apparent like jk's obsessiveness (which btw yikes boy yikesss) they literally all need to walk far far away from each other cause they a mess but I do wonder who's gonna be the first to do it cause it's all so complicated now, sorry for rambling I just love this fic so much!!
Anonymous said:What the ever loving monkey fuck is wrong with Jungkook. See, i was okay with him being jealous of Jimin because that's normal. I was moderately okay with OC agreeing to Jungkook's terms because she wants to stay with Jimin. I AM NOT OKAY with his sociopathic tendencies and how obsessive he's become. I think he's mistaken OCs genuine kindness for romantic interest at one point. And the thing that scares me the most is how Jimin seems to have no idea what's going on right under his nose as well
Anonymous said:Bruhhhh jungkook is legit fucking scary but the story itself is amazing and complex im gonna reread it right now
Anonymous said:Equilibrium is getting really interesting!! I'm kinda worried tht ppl read sentences like "Even a domesticated pet needs a taste of freedom" in context with her just /looking/ at jimin and think 'oh how romantic' tho. In every scene between her and jk u can practically feel her discomfort and fear and his possessiveness and how he's abusing her. I would normally stop reading a fic like tht bc I don't like it when the ppl are written like that bc they are real after all but I'm super hooked (1/2)
Anonymous said:(2/2)now and I am also really curious as to if and how they all are gonna get out of that situation or if jk kills her before they can just bc she takes care of a literally puking-everywhere-bedridden jimin. I'm also curious how Jimin is gonna act towards y/n now that they're alone and if he even noticed the toxic stuff that's happening between her and jk or if he didn't even notice bc jk kept him "happy" (idk how else to put it) so yeah. Keep up the great work!! Have a nice day xx
Anonymous said:GURL YOU NEED TO RUN FAST AND YOU NEED TO RUN FAR. It sucks that Jimin doesn't like OC romantically, but he's just using you to stay with JK. But JK... that shit is gonna hit the roof soon soon and it ain't gonna be pretty @.@
Anonymous said:Hey Lu, thanks for taking the time to update again~ Regarding the story...Jungkook is incredibly terrifying, like I had to step away a few times as I read because I just want the reader to leave so badly. I wish she would just be like "peace out". Everyone should just leave this situation and say "peace out". Even though I know the feelings are so complicated between all of them, it's just such a shit show on fire :( . Well done on setting everything up though. The tension is insane!
Anonymous said:Ugh I honestly want to slap Jungkook so hard. Possessive little shit.. As always your writing is amazing. Thank you for the update.
Anonymous said:OC, JIMINS DICK ISNT WORTH AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP GTFO THAT SITUATION GIRL IM SCREAMING
Anonymous said:JEONS FUCKED IN THE HEAD. HE WAS CUTE AND ALL AT FIRST BUT THEN IDK GIRL, I FEEL SORRY FOR JIMIN AND OC. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS HAPPENING ALL I KNOW IS I LOVE THIS AND I CERTAINLY LOVE YOU! IS HE PSYCHOTIC THO? FEELS LIKE JEON WOULD KILL ANYONE WHO DARE TO TOUCH OC..
mirajoey said:MY GAWDD!! Jeon Jungkook has gone mad😱 i pray for oc's safety
Anonymous said:i am terrified by jungkook's actions and NOTHING in this whole damn world is going to excuse what he is saying and doing in equilibrium. WHERE IS YOONGI DITCH THEM ALL Y/N AND GO FOR YOONGI. and today, i have been going through some really misogynic shit today and it felt so freaking uncomfortable and i was so angry and kind of frightened...i do not know how y/n is able to act like a normal person with jungkook around who is being very possessive and psycho-like
Anonymous said:When I first saw you updated Equilibrium I almost yelled "IMMA BUST MY LEFT NUT" (I was really excited lol) and now I'm lying here in a puddle of emotion really scared for the OC lol. I adore your writing so much, thank you for writing these xx
Anonymous said:JEON YOU CREEP. Man this is all such a disaster BUT I LOVE TO WATCH THE DRAMA UNFOLD. Anyways it was a great chapter and I am so e x c i t e for the next part to start. You da best 😆
Anonymous said:This is what your writing does to people, this is literally the only time I've ever dislike Jungkook that much in a fic. I wanted the OC and Jungkook together, but now I really thing all 3 should go their separate ways. Jungkook's possessiveness is getting too much, it's too obsessive. I feel sorry for her, but at the same time her own fault as well. As for Jimin who knows he may not be as oblivious as we think ?! He is using the OC to get with Jungkook in the first place.
Anonymous said:Equilibrium OC should just pack her fckin' bags there is no happy way out of this one
Anonymous said:(1/3) Right before I read this I watched this British PSA music video about abusive relationships, where a pregnant woman was choked to death by her boyfriend as she was trying to leave him and I feel like these people who romanticize these types of relationships forgot that this actually happens IRL. This happens to real women and men and some of them don't make it out alive. And when they try to defend it by saying "it's just a story, it's not real" it's very real for some people.
Anonymous said:(2/3) And the fact that the OC is having trouble sleeping and feeling this anxiety. And the that Jungkook didn't fell any sympathy/empathy for Jimin while he was ill, it just doesn't sit well with me. And the OC isn't innocent either. So afraid to shatter what's left of the already crumbling illusion she's built up. The need to keep the fantasy of this relationship with Jimin that I'm not sure existed outside of her mind. I really do enjoy this story and how you portray the characters.
Anonymous said:(3/3) The isolated relationships between the three of them is very realistic. I've seen some of my close friends go through similar situations. And it's hard to get out once you're in.Anonymous said:I cant believe anyone in their right mind is sympathizing with Jungkook in Equilibrium?! The way he is with Y/N makes me so uncomfortable, esp with his “You’re all mine” crap and being so “in love” with her when all he wants is to have her under his control even tho he thinks it’s love. Jimin too, the way he’s down to have Y/N in the relationship since JK wants her but she wants Jimin.. also I’m glad ur fanfics exist since they can give some girls a perspective on what’s NOT okay and NOT love
Anonymous said:' And if I find out you let someone else touch what's mine... you'll regret it' - I kept on reading this over and over but each time it makes me cringe more, the fact that he constantly calls her 'mine' is so fucking off, like as a kookier Stan in rl , I felt really bad for jungkook but now I find it so hard, this relationship is taking a big twist that I did not see coming and it's getting abusive real quick.
Anonymous said:(Cont last) I stood firm in my decision. On the last day that we talked, he finally understood why. It was only then he realized his mistakes, only then did he cry & apologize for everything. He tried to convince me to give him a chance but the time for that has already passed. We are officially over. I loved the guy, you know? and deep down, I know there's good in there. But I can't risk my heart and soul anymore. I'm sorry this has gone out of topic, I just needed to get it off my chest.
Anonymous said:(Cont.) When he got mad at me for one minor thing, he will accuse me of cheating and call me demeaning words. Our relationship was always on his terms. I was always the one apologizing & making an effort to make him happy. I paid for all our dates. Just wow, I'm stupid. After a fight early Feb, I got tired of it all. I broke up with him and that process took 7 fucking days in which he tried to convince that my reasoning was wrong and that he was right. My gut feeling was telling me to leave.
Anonymous said:just finished reading ch 11... yikes. like YIKES. oh my, I'm honestly very worried and scared for the oc. reading it actually made me anxious and nervous lol. that relationship is a nightmare oh sweetie no, she needs to leave asap
Anonymous said:(Cont. Part 3) I felt caged. I always had to inform where I was, who I'm with, are there guys going to be at the event I'm going to. If there were guys, he didn't want me to go. I couldn't even get a regular update from him where he was and couldn't check on his phone. As I said, I was being stupid. I tolerated all of his bullshit. When you're in an abusive relationship, you won't realize it immediately. He'll come off sweet and only wanting to protect you and your relationship.
Anonymous said:(Cont. Part 2) to the red flags he showed early in the relationship. He didn't want to me talk to any guy who wasn't a family and asked me to delete all the guys in my Facebook account. Stupid me did so because I believed him when he said that "It's not because I don't trust you, it's because I don't trust the people around you." I stayed loyal to him but he was always paranoid that I was cheating on him. When we broke up, I learned he was talking to lots of girls that's why he was so paranoid.
Anonymous said:I got curious and read Equilibrium. All I can say is whoa! The anxiety and fear that I felt was so visceral; it made me fill ill. I've recently broken up with my ex, who was like that - subtly emotionally and mentally abusive. I am fairly young, naive, and inexperienced in relationships. I had a low self-esteem. Growing up I felt that I was unattractive and no one would like me. He was the first guy to really pursue me and I guess I was so hungry for love and affection that I turned a blind eye
Anonymous said:oc's anxiety is getting worst in equal... 😞 i hope she gets out soon. i agree, SEND IN MAMA JIN! lol kook is getting crazier each chapter i'm getting scared for her well being 😟☹️😦. SHES WORTH MORE THAN THIS CRAZINESS!! 💔 side note, thank you for sticking to it, i know it's not easy. and thank you for updating. i always look forward to your work ❤
withlove-sydney said:Tbh I was worried that this story was gonna take a disturbing turn after jk revealed that he was purposely trying to keep jimin away in chpt 10 and this chapter just confirmed how toxic he is. I agree with that other person tho I'm glad that you're the one writing this because I trust that you won't try to romanticize this at all. My ex was really possessive like jk and its not cute or sexy at all. I ended up so scared of him and when I see similar things in fics it gives me chills...
btsninetyfiveline said:I just want to say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the relationship you're portraying in Equilibrium! It's soooooooo important to have stories that show abuse and possessiveness in an unhealthy light! I'm so tired of these "you looked at another guy for 5 seconds in the club so now I'm gonna take you home and show you who you 'belong' to" narratives. It's so important to address and educate young girls on signs of an emotionally manipulative relationship! 💕
Anonymous said:Hi Lu :) how are you? I love how you put out your stories unexpectedly, its always a pleasant surprise. Chapter 11 is so well-written (like all your work ofc).You set up the suffocating atmosphere perfectly with images and metaphors, like Oc's suffer is so real. I am really concerned about oc's mental health... in this chapter we see that she isn't in a good place and I am scared of what is yet to come. Thank you for your hard work. xo
Anonymous said:After reading chap 11, i feel so bad for the oc. Even reading about jk's possessiveness/threats makes me feel suffocated ;-; Though I'm excited for what's going to happen after he leaves for his trip hmm.... once again thank you for the update, Lu! :-) I'm really loving the pace of the story so far.
anonymouspseudonymous said:There's this anon that said "this ain't your ordinary fic where they all compromise and be happy" and i cannot agree more. Although, even if I get it that people hate JK for being cray, you have to punch Jimin as well hahaha idk man this is fucked
Anonymous said:I'm reading ch11 of equilibrium and the part where she wants to touch jimins face but jungkook has a tight grip on her wrist restricting her from doing so is so symbolic of their relationship and how she wants jimin so badly but jungkook is holding her back from him almost keeping her hostage in a way. Anyways I really enjoyed this part it gave me goosebumps so thank you for sharing your work with us even though you don't have to! You owe us nothing so I appreciate everything you give us💓💞💖💕
Anonymous said:I'm glad you don't tolerate the bullshit that jungkook isnt as bad as the protagnonist. People need to hear that that shit is toxic and manipulative. People are brainwashed into thinking it's romantic and okay. When it's absolutely not. No the protagonist isn't free of fault but she isn't being obsessively creepy.
Anonymous said:I think people tend to gloss over the fact that it IS an obsession (unhealthy and actually rather terrifying) and not actual "love" because they like the idea of someone doing anything to stay with them. But even in wanting to stay with someone, there have to be limits. You shouldn't end up losing yourself to someone if they want you as a person, not as just an object or a way to get what they want. There is a line between devotion and obsession, and people seem to ignore that all too often.
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