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#anyway my joker is not as suave as he thinks
cobaltfluff · 3 months
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sasuga my ace detective mind-reading soulmate, I knew I could trust you
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spencersawkward · 3 years
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switchblade faith//spencer reid - chapter 9
summary: one month after joining the BAU, Clea is still settling in. between solving murders and getting acclimated to DC, the only comfortable thing in her life is her new friendship with Dr. Spencer Reid. (Baby Spence)
pairing: Fem!OC x Spencer
word count: 4.1k
content warnings: tattooing/tattoo aftercare, mostly fluffy!
A/N: hi! it's been a while since i updated this series, but i love it too much to leave it behind and i'm also always going to be obsessed with sub!spence. anyway, all my tattoos are stick and pokes atm so if some of the tattoo stuff if a little off, i'm sorry!
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it's really a matter of principle that keeps me bound to the promise. if I were a weaker woman, I would back down from the chair, would have shaken my head and told JJ that no, actually, I will not be getting something permanently inked on my body purely for the fulfillment of a bet.
but with most of the team around me and a couple flutes of champagne flowing through my veins, I give in. it's going to be small, even though I'm not going to see it until it's done. Penelope and Morgan being in charge of the design scares me, though. I start to get nervous that I'm going to end up with a unicorn tramp stamp.
"where are you gonna get it?" Garcia nudges my shoulder once we get inside the tattoo parlor. her eyes are traveling over all the intense artwork, which I can already tell is very much not her style. the walls are covered in intricate prints from past customers.
I think to myself for a moment. if I'm being completely honest, there's one place I've been meaning to get a tattoo, but never have. it's easy to hide, which is good. as long as the design they choose isn't horrifically embarrassing, I'll do it.
"I'm thinking..." I pull the waistband of my jeans down a little until it's right below my hip bone. "there."
"sexy." she says suggestively. I laugh.
"depending on what you guys have decided to give me, yeah." I angle for a hint, but Penny isn't caving.
"are you ready?" Morgan asks, having returned from the front desk area, where he's been talking to the artist. I take a deep breath, peer around at the rest of the team. we look like an odd bunch in here, an assortment of ages all gathered in a dark tattoo parlor.
Spencer's watching me with a concerned expression and I realize that I've been staring around for a decent amount of time. he doesn't say anything, although I've noticed that he's got a certain face he makes right before he does-- and he's making it.
"Clea, are you sure you wanna do this? you don't have to." JJ touches my shoulder suddenly. I realize that they think I'm genuinely worried and I let out a laugh.
"yeah, I'm fine," I turn to Morgan. "lead the way, handsome."
the tattoo artist has me lie down while he preps all his tools, snaps on his gloves. everyone sees me on my stomach and Emily gasps.
"are you getting a tramp stamp?"
"what? no," I giggle. "I'm gonna get it here." I show them the spot I just showed Penelope, and Spencer raises his eyebrows. Prentiss whispers something in Morgan's ear and the suave agent smirks.
"you're gonna like this." Penny grins. I glance at the tattoo artist to see how he reacts to that statement, but he's got a good poker face, unfortunately.
"are you being serious or are am I gonna hate all of you?" I ask.
"maybe a bit of both?" Spencer says in a slightly higher pitch, looking pleased to be in on the joke. I stare at him in disbelief.
"he knows what I'm getting, too?" I point disdainfully. Morgan laughs at the attitude.
"I told him on the way here."
I shake my head slowly and turn my attention to the boy genius, who is hiding a proud smile. there's a boyish quality to it that makes me feel a little better. I have to pull the side of my pants down as I turn on my side for the artist, and a peek of my black underwear makes Prentiss let out a whistling noise. my cheeks turn pink.
"shut up."
"are you ready?" the tattoo guy asks me. it's only then that I notice we're close to actually getting this done. I have no idea what's going on my body-- but there's no time like the present, right?
"sure."
it's the buzzing of the machine when he finally touches the needle to my skin that surprises me more than the pain itself. I feel myself resist the urge to move away, but I'm still enough for him to keep working.
"how's it feel?" Emily asks.
"like getting a tattoo." I wince. Penelope softens, looking between her coworkers guiltily.
"oh no," she complains, then comes over to me and grabs my hand in hers. "is this better?"
I squeeze tightly at the stinging sensation across my thigh, but she doesn't pull away at all.
"yeah." I smile. everyone is watching me intently, so much so that it puts me off a bit. "can we talk about something, maybe? it doesn't help when you're all staring."
"sure," JJ grins. "so..."
the pressure to start a conversation kills any potential for one, and then Spencer clears his throat. "anybody wanna see a cool magic trick?"
I snort and the rest of the team lets out a chuckle as the genius pulls a deck of cards out of his pants pocket. Morgan pats his shoulder. "I hope it works this time."
"it worked last time!" Reid protests, but his cheeks have taken on a slightly rosy hue. I watch him shuffle the mysterious deck and do some fancy tricks that I've never seen before, the corner of his mouth quirking with a sudden air of confidence.
Penelope is still holding my hand, and I can feel the metal of her sparkly rings pressing against my fingers. I choose to focus on the theatrical movements that Spencer is definitely using on purpose instead of the strange, sharp pain.
he fans out the cards and shows them to me, smiling. "pick a card, any card."
"hmm..." I tap my chin thoughtfully and stare at the bright red designs covering the back. I wonder if it's a rigged deck, or if he actually knows tricks. he doesn't seem like the type of person to be into magic. but then again, Spencer is full of surprises. I grab a random one in the middle, pluck it out and memorize it. a red six of spades.
"alright, then..." he grins and slams the deck back into one neat pile, then does some weird shuffling move again and shows the fanned-out deck to Morgan this time. "your turn."
Morgan's gaze flickers between the cards and Reid's face, which is trying to suppress a smile. the dimple on the right side of his cheek twitches once. when Derek taps a card near the end, Spencer nods and does the same thing that he did when I picked one.
except this time, as soon as he's got the whole deck together, he taps them a bit too hard and they go flying. fifty-two-pick-up style, Queens and Kings and Jokers tumbling to the linoleum floor in a defeated descent. my eyes widen and second-hand embarrassment rolls in, followed by the team's stunned silence.
I even feel the tattoo artist falter a bit in his work.
"oh." Spencer says. JJ puts her hand on his shoulder.
"Spence, it's fine."
"no, no, it's not-- I practiced this, like, fifty times last night--" his face is bright red as he drops to his knees. Penelope glances once at you and you return her stare with a pitying expression. Emily goes to help him, then Morgan and JJ.
"let me just..." he gathers up the remaining cards that they hand him, putting them back together into the pile again. I watch as he goes through them, somehow counting at lightning speed before frowning. "we're missing one."
everyone looks around, but it's obvious that there aren't any more stray cards lying about. I feel bad for him, not only because it didn't work but because he practiced it so much. I've been wondering what he does on the weekends-- magic tricks never even crossed my mind.
then Spencer's face lights up.
he comes over to me and gestures to my side, right by the spot where the tattoo artist is working. "may I?"
"uh--" I glance down at where he's pointing, the small patch of bare stomach. "sure?"
his fingertips graze beneath my tummy, between my skin and the smooth leather of the tattoo table, and snatch a card out from under me. it's barely a touch, but my breath hitches in my throat. my fingers tighten just slightly around Penelope's.
he holds up a red six of spades. the enormous grin on his face gives him away. "this wouldn't happen to be your card, would it?"
I gasp and nod, amazement on my face before it's wiped away by the sharp pain of the needle. Spencer displays the red six of spades to the whole team, then basks in their surprised applause.
Emily's smiling in disbelief. "you really had us going for a second."
"wait, wait--" I poke his leg and Spencer turns to me. "how did you do that?"
there's no way he could have hidden it there without me knowing; if he had slipped a card beneath my bare skin, surely I would have felt it. but the magic man just shrugs and shakes his head at me.
"a good magician never shares their secrets, Clea."
this time, the blush spreads over my cheeks. he's cocky right now, and I'd be lying if I said I'm not enjoying it. he's in his element, I realize, even if it is an unexpected one. and as he puts the cards into his back pocket, the group erupts with questions.
he's done magic before in front of them, but they seem to be awestruck by his performance this time. admittedly, I think the whole klutz act really added a nice dramatic element to it.
I'm mostly quiet for the rest of the tattooing process, although everyone else is chattering about the trick and how well the ink is going to turn out. I'm still wracking my brain for ideas of what they chose, but I honestly don't know. I've been banned from peeking.
maybe this was a mistake-- I've only recently joined this team, and already allowed them to decide what's going to be on my body forever. at least it's small. and maybe I'll actually like it; who knows?
when the artist lets out a satisfied sigh and turns the needle off, however, I find myself twisting around and staring frantically at the new design.
"oh my god."
it's a tiny airplane, with two dotted loopty-loops behind it. just small enough to be adorable.
"what do you think?" Garcia asks, eyeing it herself. they all gather around to admire the new design that sits on the outside of my upper thigh. I giggle.
"I love it."
"don't sound so relieved." Emily laughs. I can't help the bubbly excitement in my stomach.
"sorry, I just didn't know what to expect."
Spencer is staring at the ink when he turns to the tattoo artist. "how long until you think it'll be healed?"
the guy stands up to get treatment stuff for it. "I'd say about two weeks, but it varies from person to person." he leaves to grab cling film.
"I thought for sure you'd be the one to know that." I smirk at the genius. he shoves his hands in his pockets, makes sure the artist is out of earshot, and then looks back at you.
"I do know." he scoffs.
"uh huh." I laugh.
"actually, for the record," he lowers his voice. "I'd recommend at least three weeks instead of two. the last thing you want is infected flesh."
"yum, Spencer. thanks for that image." I smile with wide eyes and he shrugs.
...
it's quiet when I shut the door of my apartment shut behind me. I've got a bag full of supplies with me to clean the new art, and I'm feeling lethargic after getting lunch with the team. because Rossi wasn't around to foot the bill, I made the mistake of offering to pay.
we've got the day off after the most recent slew of cases, so I've determined to spend the rest of my day well. I could curl up with a nice documentary, or I could scrub my kitchen and do a little tidying up around here. god knows the film of dust on my bookshelves needs to be wiped away.
oh my god.
am I boring? maybe. possibly.
I shake the thought from my head and bring my things into the kitchen to organize. after spending a few hours cleaning up, I go out grocery shopping, then come home to sit down with a book. my errands take up so much time, I don't even notice the DC sunlight sinking beneath the harsh lines of the city, drenching my apartment in a silky darkness poked through with lit lamps.
it's already 9pm and I kind of want to hang out with someone, but I doubt any of the team wants to spend any more time with me than they did before lunch. or they might have plans with their families.
well, I know one person who definitely doesn't have plans.
I pull out my phone and hit Spencer's contact before I can talk myself out of it, knowing full well that it's not a big deal but still becoming a little nervous. it rings three times before he picks up.
"hello?"
"hey, Spencer."
"Clea. what's-- what's up?" he sounds more confused than anything. probably because I just saw him about an hour ago.
"I know it's late, but do you wanna come over? I'm bored and I feel like you know more about tattoo cleaning than I do." it's a weak excuse.
"why would I know more about tattoo cleaning--"
"you know damn well why, Reid," I laugh. "don't fish for compliments."
there's a slight laugh on the other end of the line before he replies. "I'll be over soon."
I wait patiently, preparing two mugs of coffee in the meantime. I'm sure we'll both want the caffeine, because I have no urge to turn in early tonight. my stomach twists a bit when he calls to tell me he's here, and I go to let him in. I'm not nervous.
except I actually am a little bit nervous when I open the door and there's Spencer with a shy smile and a coat that's a bit too big for him. it hangs off his narrow frame, and I realize that it must have just started raining. his hair is wet and there are dark spots on his clothes where the water has seeped through.
"get inside, my god." I move aside so he can come into the apartment and warm up. he walks in, looks around at my walls. I realize that he's never been here before. "welcome to my humble abode, Dr. Reid."
"it's nice." he compliments without much emotion. I lock the door and turn just in time to see his hand shaking at his side.
"thanks. let me take your coat." I glance out the window, where I now notice the rain pelting the glass.
Spencer shrugs off his jacket and hesitantly lets me hang it on the hook by the door before turning to him with my hands on my hips. "so, how are you?"
"I'm good," he smiles a little and runs a hand through his hair. "I actually read an article on the way here about those psychedelic mushrooms we were discussing the other day."
"is that, like, our thing, now?" I joke and gesture to the couch, where two mugs of hot coffee rest on coasters. he sits down gingerly on the cushions, sitting at the very opposite end of the couch from me.
"I can send it to you, if you'd like." he smiles.
"please do. I've been hoping for some titillating reading, recently." I hand him the mug and he stop before taking a sip.
"how many sugars did you put in this?"
"relax, genius, I'm not out to get you--" I catch his eye. "yet."
he giggles and takes a sip, then another. the smile tugging at my lips is too obvious for my liking; I'm just glad that I got the amount of sugar correct. it would have been funny to ambush him with a sweetness attack, although I think making him come here in the rain was punishment enough.
"have you ever had oat milk?" he asks out of the blue. I frown.
"yeah, why?"
"just wondering. I'm lactose intolerant and was considering trying it."
"you're lactose intolerant?"
"mhmm." he nods enthusiastically.
"I watched you eat three yogurt cups in a row yesterday." I chuckle at the memory of it. he eats so much and remains as skinny as a telephone pole.
"I love dairy." he shrugs it off. I pull my legs up beneath me on the couch and give him a serious expression.
"well, personally, I think oat milk tastes horrendous and it makes me want to vomit, but you should try it."
"noted."
we start to talk about various nondairy alternatives for coffee and it ends up being a surprisingly fun conversation. talking to Spencer has its own charm-- it's not just a conversation, it's a fully immersive experience. from his ambitious vocabulary to the unconscious gestures he makes, all of it keeps me hooked.
I rest my cheek on my palm, elbow leaning against the back of the couch while I nod along to him talking about almond farming. he's got a disdainful expression on his face as he brings up its environmental consequences, punctuating every few sentences with another sip of his coffee.
the rain is still pouring outside. thunder occasionally rolls over the sky and shakes the windows in their panes. my eyes flit from his face to the view when a flash of lightning catches my attention.
"--sorry, we should clean your tattoo." he seems to catch himself mid-thought, realizing that he came here to help me and not just rant about the business of almonds. I smile.
"no worries. this stuff is interesting to me, too."
"there's this documentary out now about it, too, that I've been meaning to watch."
"really?"
"yeah!" his face lights up. "if you want, we can--" he clears his throat. "we can watch it together."
he blushes as he says it, and I can tell that he's worried about how his intentions will come off. he can't take it back, so he runs the pad of his index over his middle finger and fidgets in a subtle way.
"that sounds like fun." I don't want him to feel weird. we've only hung out a few times, and I'm sort of looking forward to it.
"great," he straightens and adjusts his shirt, which has gotten slightly rumpled from his curling up on the couch. his tie is crooked, too. "where are the cleaning supplies?"
"in the kitchen."
"perfect, we should be doing it in there anyway." he stands, pushes a bit of his hair behind his ear while he waits for me to follow-- and I do, albeit with a wince from my tender side. it doesn't hurt as much as I expected.
he follows me into the minuscule kitchen and doesn't hesitate to start going through the things the artist gave me to take home. there's some foam wash and special moisturizer for it, not a lot. it's small enough that the care will be minimal, which is reassuring.
it's only when Spencer's washing his hands that I realize I'll need to unbutton my pants again in order to reach the tattoo. which means this is about to get at least slightly awkward for the both of us.
he turns around just in time to see me unzipping my jeans and his eyes widen.
"how else do you expect to clean it?" I laugh, and he gulps, visibly. his Adam's apple bobs in his throat and he nods in understanding.
"y-yeah, of course." his eyes are everywhere but on me. suddenly, my kitchen walls are incredibly interesting.
I shove down the waistband of my pants until they're just below my upper thigh, then I sit up on the counter and clear my throat. "I can cover some of myself if that makes you more comfortable."
"no, no, that's okay--" he speaks too quickly, then recognizes his mistake. "it's okay. this shouldn't take very long, anyway."
without another word, I shrug and watch him delicately peel away the film. his fingertips are back to barely touching my skin, just like when he pulled that card out from beneath me, and I stop breathing for a moment.
there's also a gel-like substance under the covering, which he tells me is just standard petroleum jelly. Spencer moves with a near surgical (and altogether unnecessary) precision. his eyes are glued to my skin as if forcing them not to stray to my now exposed panties. it doesn't feel sexual at all because it's not, thankfully.
when he uses the foam wash and begins to rub it into my skin, he frowns with concern and looks up at me. "is this okay? you can do it yourself if--"
"it's fine, Reid," I answer too quickly this time. heat rushes to my cheeks. "I honestly thought this was going to be a more complicated process than it really is."
"it's pretty simple, especially for something this small." he shrugs. "obviously, you don't want to get it infected, so I'd just think of it as treating a cut."
silence in our respective positions at the moment makes me nervous, so I change the subject.
"magic tricks, huh?" if anything, I need to distract myself from the way his hand is rubbing over my skin in a totally nonsexual and platonic way.
he relaxes a little, lifting his gaze to mine with a somewhat pleased countenance. "yeah, I love magic."
it's like peeling back a corner of wallpaper and seeing a shade of red beneath; not a lot, but enough to pique my curiosity. "a man of science?"
Spencer shakes his head at the air of faux sophistication I pour into it. "the world needs some wonder."
he says it in an offhand way, although I feel the weight of it from the way he runs a damp paper towel over the last of the cleansing foam. his touch presses into me and his eyes are lowered in a slightly distant way.
"how long have you been into it?" I fight the urge to ask a million questions at once.
"since I was a kid," he jerks back to attention. the grin on his face tells you just how special this is to him. "I used to buy all the books and practice for my mom constantly."
"did you ever do the trick with the never-ending string of handkerchiefs?" I recall one of the only classic moves I know. Reid laughs.
"that one's easy."
"what about the coin behind the ear?" I throw out another one.
Spencer straightens, doesn't even bother to set down the paper towel, before reaching up behind my ear and pulling away with a shiny quarter set between his thumb and forefinger. "you mean this one?"
there it is again, that confidence I saw in the tattoo parlor. he's standing just close enough for me to notice, and I grin as I snatch the metal out of his hand and set it on the counter beside me. "thanks."
"no problem." he laughs.
"you should do that more often."
"the coin trick? I'd go broke." he jokes. I laugh at the rare appearance of Spencer's playful side, hoping to get a bit more of it before we have to go back to being serious at work.
"magic in general, I mean. I think it would brighten up the office a bit."
he thinks about it for a moment, washing his hands again. the sound of the faucet reminds me to put my lotion on my leg. I get to it while he thinks of what to say.
"yeah, maybe you're right."
"I still find it funny that you're into that kind of stuff." I say honestly. of all the things for him to nerd out about, this feels almost comically unexpected. but Reid only gives me a shy smile before replying.
"it always made my mom laugh when I was a kid."
"is she also good at it?"
"tricks? no," he chuckles. there's a washcloth between his long, slender fingers that he's been using to dry them for the past two minutes. at this point, I think he's doing it to keep from fidgeting. "she says it's an old fashioned thing, and that only made me wanna do it more."
"well," I cap the bottle and set it down on the counter, pull my jeans up and lean against the counter with a smile. "I like old fashioned."
Spencer gives a friendly smile. "me too."
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daz4i · 2 years
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For the character ask game: Joker from P5
thank you!!!! 🖤🖤🖤🖤
How I feel about this character: *hands you my kin list* well. (asdjsghf real answer tho, love that guy and his funky little gender i wanna look like him irl so bad.)
All the people I ship romantically with this character: AKECHI, HARU, yusuke, ryuji, mishima, and in a polycule honestly all of the thieves except futaba and mona really (and throw in shiho in the mix bc why not she's part of the gang too)
My non-romantic OTP for this character: futaba!!!!!!!! little sister!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S GO
My unpopular opinion about this character: ppl keep pretending like joker is this cool and suave guy but tbh. i think he's a dumbass (affectionate). at least the way most teenagers are like. the whole coolness thing is an act trust me on that one (also saying that from an analysis point like there's stuff in-game to back it up idk if ppl just don't know abt them or ignore them asikdjfhg)
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: shouldn't have been a silent protagonist really. he's got way too much personality to be a blank slate anyway,, ALSO should've been able to romance the guys instead of older women for sure
send me some characters?
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leafy-wings · 3 years
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qibli!! for the send a char
for this meme!
Sexuality Headcanon: bi definitely Gender Headcanon: it is with a heavy heart that i say i think he is cis. but like gender non conforming about it A ship I have with said character: i think qibli/winter is fine. idk if i just think im obligated to ship it or not. i dont even like qinter that much or winter but its like, two guys and im so fucking hungry for rep. again i dont think relationships born from trauma are really great but i feel like after everythings said and done they should be happy together because they deserve it. but like, theyre both so emotionally stunted that my original thought that theyd improve each other doesnt really hash out. i dont even really like peppy/broody as foundation for a relationship. i think non canon there are a lot of fun romantic intepretations of them though. i like the sun/moon imagery! i know its more accurate to label nightwings as moon aligned, but winters white. i also think that probably qibli and winter have too much beef about like, everything, like the monarchy or how they treat their friends. yknow what i just realized i spent this entire paragraph talking about how much i dont actually like qinter but ship it anyways because im a desperate little fruit A BROTP I have with said character: i like it when qibli is friends with turtle and there should be more qibli and turtle friend momence. i think both of them are kind and observant to their friends but inclined towards unrealistic expectations, but both also not observant inwardly and outwardly level headed, leaving them in a good combination where theyre both looking out for each other where they wont take care of themselves. i also think he should hang out with sunny more A NOTP I have with said character: qibli and moonwatcher. sorry. i know theyre like “canon” or whatever but every relationship tui makes it so bland and boring. i think qiblis really unfair to have been afraid of moon in book 6 and then immediately rebound into wanting to take advantage of her power within like 5 pages; i think itd be way more cool if he was more excited about it, considering that he never felt afraid of turtle when he found out about turtles power and the immediate rebound is just inconsistent and makes him look flaky instead of understandable. i also just am not super excited to read about romance between horrifically emotionall damaged 4 yr olds who really never get better. its fine its not like i dont see it its just.. theres so little there. its not like theres negative-qibliwatcher points but i just see nothing for it. A random headcanon: i want. catholic qibli. LIKE I MEAN a qibli who disagrees with Bad Behavior like swearing and drinking and gambling and abides by morality really hard. i think itd be funny. its not even really accurate but i think if inexplicably qibli insisted upon proper behavior itd be funny because i like it. General Opinion over said character: i actually dont like him that much. hes fruity i guess, but more jockish in canon than people represent him in their fan interpretations at least at first, everyone always turns him into this slick suave and soft bubbly sort of guy when hes more rough and tumble, which i think is neat but i dont really like. and ofc tui likes her fan interpretations so he ends up getting watered down into some mischief maker joker by the end of the series where i preferred him as a good example of being raised in a rough childhood but ending up on top and being charismatic but distant from it. and i dont really like the softboy intepretation a lot of people take with him because i like canon, and it kinda spits in the face of the original idea of him being put together. like ive said before i hated cracking darkness of dragons open and its just qibli going “WAAA WAAAAA” . i think i need to reread arc 2 though
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deanky · 4 years
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#Riddlerpost
Cringe this may be btu I will make it anyways OK? In discorp I said I coudl make a whole post about random specific thigns I would want in my ideal interpretation of the Riddler and I’m a man of my word sometimes so I am going to do it. Including both major things and icnredibly dumb minor details. Putting this under cut because I seriously did not realize how long this would get LOL
His original name WAS Edward Nashton and he changed it to Nygma both because of da riddle love and to distance himself from horrible family which he does have, and I think it specifically should be spelled Nygma because he would value the extra .2 seconds it would take for someone to notice that being a pun. However even if it makes it more obvious when said in conjunction with last name he actually does NOT hate being called Eddie specifically. He loves it because it makes it so there’s 2 different ways to do the enigma thing.
He had pretty awful childhood, like realistically awful. Horrible parents bad marriage etc his mom treated him better than his dad but the difference became more narrow over time probably. :( He did not to well in school, he hoped that doing somethign really well would help & entered contest thing. I think he did cheat and feels like he deserved further horrible family thigns due to it but did not he was only a lad! 
 hated school. Did not go to college. Intelligent but not emotionally... he DOES have OCD and it is like compulsive to turn eveyrhting into funny puzzles and games and of course riddles, but it doesn’t stop him from doing ones on purpose of course, and he does like to tell really dumb jokes liek all the ones in the 60s show (BTW he should always and forever do the funny Frank Gorshin laugh). And he is fully autistic. He is so autistic. Believe this. Believe me. He gets along with other villains his like constant compulsive insertion of riddles into things that don’t or shouldn’t have them can cause strife but like everyone in Batman is TWISTED they get it they’re a jolly group terrorizing the town together. United Underworld baby. U.U. should be in every piece of Batman media BTW, unrelated.
The important thign though is! He is a tragic guy deep down he has a sad story behind him all but he is silly. Whatever the ‘present’ is like aroudn the time any actual Batman comics happen, he should be silly. All these thigns should not stop him from being silly. He is egotistical for sure but not USUALLY to the point of like, being Arkham levels of rude. But it can happen. He mostly just like... He does his FUNNYCRIMES to prove himself as being smart, but there usually isn’t even all that malice involved unless it’s like, the one BTAS episode he really wants to get revenge on a specific person. IdealRiddler not as suave as BTAS Riddler though. he most resembles him in that one scene where all the girls are like ‘ahhh so smart bro’ and he’s like “well heh guess you say that to all the geniuses!”
I don’t think he’d ever really intentionally kill anyone. He’s like - he’s not ineffective at the thigns he does but he’s not an incredibly harmful villain. That said he can put together whole insane mastermind plots but they probably won’t be things he really puts into effect a lot because he doesn’t really want or need to. He’s definitely like When is a Door-type Riddler in my head, he doesn’t know where it all went wrong he just wants to have fun and do incredibly silly crimes and it scares him so bad to see everyone else actually killing people even if the Joker was probably already doing it forever
And BTW he is fully gay he is fully homosexual and in a relationship with the Penguin. But this is important - he is completely chaste. He definitely needs to be incredibly gay that’s an integral part of his character. To me. And he does have 1 billion different increasingly silly and flashy Riddler suits like Jim Carrey style you know it and loves funny campy silyl stuff and he definitely has a huge collection of big novelty objects used in ads and like carnivals and stuff. And he is like 5′3 at most. BTW. He is short. He needs to be short OK? He needs ot be an incredibly small man. *Looking at you pleadingly as I say this*
He used to have long hair when he was young but by the time he actually is da Riddler it;s short and he is balding. he tries to hide it under his hat but you can tell you can always tell. He is not like fully shaved bald and tattooed or anything like that, but he is balding. Sometimes he has a mustache I think the only Riddler that’s had a mustache was when he was briefly portrayed by John Astin for part of Batman 1966. But I like to imagine him with a mustache. I think it works and BTW I’m insane.
Like, every single job that he’s been portrayed as having before is something he’d gone through before being da riddler, he’s worked at a carnival he’s worked on video games he’s done it all. He definitely collected all the carnival stuff. I think specifically though aside from probably having bad boss like in BTAS his V.G. work went unappreciated because it was all like, incredibly obscure thigns on ZX Spectrum or FMV games or somehting and he didn’t get to contribute that much to them because he always ended up coming up with extremely ambitious plans for developign them that would be like impossible for a game at the time. He would definitely run a really weird looking web page with all the little weird easter eggs he put into stuff showcased. OK. That’s all I can think of right now. I might add more. But for now I’m just going to smile sweetly
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bagels-and-seagulls · 5 years
Note
You’re gonna have to write that essay on why each of those gifs belongs to each au world (if this makes sense) ;)
okay, okay okay, i’m going to put it all under the cut because this is going to be a little obnoxiously long and i don’t want to clutter people’s dashes. but i do have many, many thought that are probably going to play out like a madman’s rants, so let’s just start from the top
badboy!david and normal!matteo
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so one of the things that matteo is called in this verse is baby matteo (a little mishap when i called badboy!matteo bb!matteo, but yet very fitting) and does this gif just not scream big baby energy? you have matteo who is soft and sleepy and curled up with the boy he likes, and in this verse, matteo is still quiet. he’s a little shy, a little withdrawn. and that’s because he’s still trying to deal with a lot of stuff, like being out and trying to put himself out there in the world and the tension between the guy he likes so much and his friends and just everything really. so sometimes he just needs to relax and take a breather from the world. and you have david who’s awake and wrapped around him and being very protective because he knows that’s what matteo needs, because david likes this boy so much, care for him so much, that he can hardly breathe with it. and when matteo needs to crash, he’s going to be right there for him to crash into and watch over until it feels okay again. they have little, quiet moments like this where they both can just chill out because they have each other all to themselves for a bit and just try to catch up with reality. 
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okay, okay, okay. this scene in cannon is just out of this world. i could write odes about it- no tomes- given the time and the energy, but as someone who has to remind themselves frequently to stay on the question and not go on tangents, i will stick to the verse. so imagine with me, matteo just said something super sappy and super random, like i love you or something similar, when david was not saying anything really important and matteo immediately just smashes his lips together because he for sure did not mean to say that just then. and david is just looking at him, grinning ear to ear, because david has been the one to lead in this relationship, right? he’s the one to introduce himself. he’s the one who to ask matteo out. he’s the one to kiss him first. he’s the one to get them to talk to each other after their time apart. he’s just taken the lead for most of the relationship, and he doesn’t mind that at all. but now, matteo is the first one to take a step, and all on his own, too. and even though david is just so outwardly ecstatic at it, matteo is still a little bit nervous, a little bit like of fuck i just said that, but a whole lot a bit like kissmekissmekissmekissme. 
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this is high key one of my favorite moments from one (1) mr. david schreibner. just look at it. the confidence, the suaveness, the cockiness, the way he can just look right through you, the little walk around and holding the gaze. it’s all just… i have no words. and this is how i see bad boy david. he walks with his chin up and his shoulders back and looking you directly in the eye, just knowing who he is and not afraid to show it because people get out of his way, not the other way around. david knows what he stands for, and more importantly what he doesn’t. and doesn’t this moment say that? and with matteo, too. he looks down because he’s never done this before. and david sees right into it. he knows that there’s tension between them. he knows that matteo is into him. he knows what he’s doing right now and the effect it’ll have. and matteo has to look away because this boy that he likes so much has bonfires in his eyes, and it’s heating matteo all the way up. there’s this cat and mouse thing happening in this, and that’s what gets me, that’s what makes me think about bad boy david. that feeling of the thrill of the chase. 
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does this one even need an explanation? you have a soft and affectionate matteo who wants nothing more than to curl up on david’s shoulder and take a nap, and david who is protective and strong and has a cold gaze that’s just asking someone to say something about it because he knows they won’t, that if they were to, he’s going to say something back to put them in their place. like my harvest was truly saved when they posted this clip. i still haven’t gotten over it.  just the naturalness of this dynamic, the way that they fall into each other, like matteo is going to crash and david just let’s him. it’s so bad boy david i can’t even explain it more than that. 
bb!david and bb!matteo
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god, the whole first meet scene is so bb!david and bb!matteo, i really just have no other way to describe it besides just pointing to it and going like look, look, this is them. like in the verse, they get formally introduced when they’re both going to vandalize the same politician’s ad, like they meet already going something they aren’t supposed to. and david is mysterious and cool and a little bit skeptical, and matteo is immediately just entranced by this guy when they first see each other, this guy he’s never seen because he would have known if they had crossed paths before. and matteo checks in a little from his usual spacey kind of expression when they’re talking for the first time because he doesn’t want to miss this. there’s also this feeling that they’re kind of checking each other out, both ways, like there’s that physical attraction, but also they’re trying to see if the other is the same as them, a misfit trying to make their way in the world. 
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so i know this one doesn’t seem to obvious, but i really think that bad boy matteo is still a little bit of a joker, like still a bit of a clown. like he has kind of a rough exterior and he’s manipulative and snake-like and a bit self-centered, but he also makes jokes and likes when people laugh with him, which is one of the things that people still kind of flock around him for. there’s also a bit of laziness in this that is very matteo in all the universes, like he’s making a little joke, but he’s not putting too much effort into it.  he doesn’t want to seem like he’s trying even though he is. 
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so this, is just, wow. anyways, matteo and david hang out a lot, before they’re officially a thing even though there’s this feeling that they are a thing, just without the acknowledgment. so i could totally see this moment happening, where david comes over after a shift at work, and it’s dark and quiet. matteo has a couple of blunts that he didn’t sell at the party he went to, but he isn’t feeling any of the pressure to actually sell them. so when david stops by, he offers one up for them to share, and they’re laying there, passing it back and forth. and matteo is like you need to share more, when he thinks that david has been hogging it a little too long. and david just looks at him with a smirk and takes another hit before he goes to pass it, but before matteo can grab it, he just holds it up to matteo’s mouth instead because if matteo wants to whine about it, he can work for it a little bit. and maybe david is hoping to feel the press of matteo’s lips against his fingers. and there’s just this exploding amount of tension between them where matteo thinks david might finally kiss him or something because david is watching the way that matteo’s lips are wrapped around the end of the joint. but he doesn’t, and matteo just feels itchy on the inside. 
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matteo is a mad boy in this verse. he’s got a lot of emotions and sometimes doesn’t process them very well which means he lashes out at people and he starts shit just because he wants to. and like you can see on his face in this that he’s got more things to say, but he’s thinking better of it. he’s thinking that maybe he shouldn’t open his mouth right now. and that’s something that he has to work on with david, something they both have to work on, because they’re both a bit hot-headed and much more likely to act before they think. so i can just see them both running high on emotions from things that don’t even involve each other, like matteo gets over charged by his supplier and david just got into a fight and got a split lip to prove it, and they get into a spat over something stupid, like matteo flirting with someone so they’ll buy from him. and they’re getting a little mean right now, and matteo is about to say something phenomenally stupid but catches himself, closes his mouth, with his hand still falling through, hitting david in the chest, who looks mad as hell still. but matteo is so over this right now, doesn’t want to fight over something stupid, so he grips at david’s scarf and hauls him in so they can get rid of their energy another way. 
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so this one is more the way they hold themselves than anything, like david looks a little mad and matteo looks a little lazy but completely focused on david, and they’re both strutting down the hallway like they don’t care who’s coming towards them because they know that they’ll get out of they’re way when they see david coming, even if they don’t know who the other guy is. and maybe david is thinking about something that he knows is going to work him up, and matteo can see it and is trying to have a quiet night in without david raging about something. so he goes to say a joke, be the kidder that he is, and it lands a little flat. but david sees that he’s making an effort, so he tries to go with it. 
hot jock!david and bb!matteo
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listen, i haven’t come to terms with this yet. i still think about this all the time, like david really did that, just straight up sent coordinates like geocaching was still in and when questioned was like, well i’m here what else do you need? like the confidence and the cockiness of it is insane! and hot jock david is so like that to me. he can put on this front in a second that he knows he’s the hottest shit out there, and no one can tell him different. he’s the wonder boy of the town, and he knows it! he knows that no one can touch him. he knows that if he sends out some vague text with a time and location that anyone would come out just because he asked. but matteo is the only one that can see into it. he knows that david tries so incredibly hard to keep this front up and uses it as a defense against the whole world, that david tells the world it can’t get to him because it does all the time. matteo is the only one that david doesn’t have to do this for. he doesn’t have to be cool and mysterious and thoughtful and interesting. he can be a dork and an idiot, and matteo will like him the same. 
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the gay panic in this scene is just hilarious to me. truly iconic. so like, i just talked about how david has this front, right, that he is purposefully cool and on a pedestal and seems like out of everyone’s league. but he genuinely likes matteo and that makes him a little nervous because he really wants to be what matteo wants, and he thinks that’s the cool guy. but trying to be cool just makes him more nervous because hes’s trying so hard. the paradox of it! anyways, i’ve talked a lot about like matteo’s insecurities about their relationship and haven’t really touched on david’s, who feels seen and understood and enough for the first time with matteo. so i guess this is a different side than i’ve written about too much. this stuttering, nervous guy with a crush that he met in the library and keeps running into. 
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this scene. god. so i have a whole bit about how one of the ways that david tries to help mitigate matteo’s insecurities is by constantly reaffirming that he’s matteo’s boyfriend to people around them, and it actually was inspired by this scene and how his face is very much says that there’s no room for argument, that he is his boyfriend, but his face also says that’s he’s really proud of that fact, that being matteo’s boyfriend is important to him and also won’t hear any criticism about it. 
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matteo has game. it’s one of those things that people forget, but matteo has got game. and in this verse, he’s the one that went up to david first and he’s the one to ask david to be his boyfriend. but he’s also never really dated before, so like he knows how to hang out and how to kiss and stuff like that. but anything beyond that is very much new to him and makes him incredibly nervous, and david can see that. so when matteo invites him up to to watch a movie and david suggests that they do something besides that, matteo practically short circuits. and while david is nervous to, because he likes this boy so, so much, he’s still confident and can play it up to help make matteo feel more comfortable. 
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matteo smoking a joint, leaning against david who is being super sweet and openly affectionate? total hot jock david and bad boy matteo. like i don’t really have a scenario for this one besides that this is just the mood, you know? like matteo just occasionally checks out. he takes too much in, sees too many people, thinks too hard for too long, everything is a little too loud, and he just shuts down for a little bit to recover from all the stimulus. and david gets it. he’s used to running a million miles a second all the time, so he understands the need to slow down every once in a while, even if he doesn’t do it too often himself. so it actually is good for both of them. matteo takes a minute to breathe and david takes it with him. and they both just relax together for a while until they both feel okay. 
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raguna-blade · 5 years
Text
Phantom Thieves and the Shadow Self
So I’m sitting here listening to I’ll face Myself (Smash Edit) and it suddenly occurs to me, not for the first time actually but with a few extra neurons thrown in the heap as you do when you ruminate on stuff for ages, that the Phantom Thieves are LITERALLY the Shadow Selves of the Phantom Thieves.
Wait, no come back, this isn’t as stupid as it sounds I swear.
Alright, so I’ve probably mentioned this before somewhere, and I FEEL it’s obvious, and it’s explicit elsewhere, but let’s make it really real clear.
Persona’s are Shadows. There’s not a single gap of difference between the two of them, save that Shadows are wild and unconstrained, for better or worse, while Persona’s are Tamed and or at least are under control. Right up until the point you start rejecting them anyway, but that’s persona 3 and we’re playing with 4 and 5 right now (and someday, I’m gonna have to blast through 1, 2, and 2:2, and probably 3:2 but that’s another story and conversation)
But what’s the point here? You made a pretty bold claim up there that the Phantom Thieves are their shadow selves, and well...We’ve SEEN the shadow’s from Persona 4. The Personal Ones. They’re all uh...Not...Exactly...greaaaaaaat.
And that’s not untrue, but as i’ve mentioned before somewhere on here, Shadows encompass all of the aspects of yourself that are, decisively, YOU. Your good, your bad, your unrealized, what you push away. Everything that is you, but not actively engaged with or reject lives within the shadow.
That’s just neat my guy, but what’s the point? How are the Phantom Thieves at ALL their shadow selves. I, the hypothetical reader here, will accept that there’s some integration going on here, but they certainly don’t seem to be any different from their normal selves. They don’t seem...Shadowy.
Well ok, that’s kind of the point, but hey let’s dig in a bit. First things first, Yellow Eye Flash, everyone’s seent it, you can’t pretend it didn’t happen. So With that out of the way we at least have some baseline suggestions going on that yes there is something going on with the Shadow and the Persona User.
But well let’s take a look at someone who constantly draws attention in the series for being...Really WEIRD considering that her story straight up starts and deals with...Well being a sexual object, and throughout the rest of the game is kind of the de facto sexy one.
Hey it’s Anne Time! But I may have hit on this before, but she’s probably the easiest clearest example of this in the game. They Key to understanding it, since she’s very very much the oddwoman out here. After all, her whole story (not social link, but we’ll get to that some other time I think) basically has to deal with sexual abuse by a teacher, seeing VERY LITERALLY THAT SAME TEACHER, have sexual fantasies about her and then her Mementos/World of Cognition/World Behind the TV/Dark Hour Outfit is...A tight spy catsuit, with whip, her initial persona is an infamous femme fatale and...Well that just seems a bit obnoxious? I understand vidya, you need to have your cheesecake because reasons, but like c’mon. A little class.
But fly on back up like 5 Paragraphs. Remember what I said about the Shadow having all your rejected aspects? The Good, the Bad, the Ugly? That’s still true, and Anne is basically dealing with a particular aspect of herself that she’s not quite happy with, and if this were persona 4 well..It’s not even that hard to draw a line as to what Persona 4 Shadow Anne would look like. Likely, if we’re being honest, a lot like what Kamoshida envisioned her as, albeit considerably more active an agent which would be obvious given, again, Carmen.
And actually let’s look at the initial Persona again here. There’s a lot to be said about what her Cognition suit looks like and the fact that literally none of the other persona characters engage in this kind of transformation, none of them. Inaba Crew basically just had to wear some glasses but otherwise? Nothing. But The Persona Especially are useful here because they are LITERALLY SHACKLED TAMED DOWN SHADOWS.
And from 4 We See what a full on balls out unrestrained Shadow looks like both when they’re cosplaying as themselves and when they decide to just go full beast mode and ruin someone’s day.
They are, without fail, Every Single Bad or concerning aspect turned up from there to grotesque, with every good or unrealized aspect tamped down until you can barely see it. Yukiko is a weird dependent princess, Chie is some weird Dominatrix, Yosuke is a weird jealous frog thing, Teddie is a big nihilistic empty vessel, Naoto is childish and “playing pretend”, Rise is a stripper, Kanji is an entirely more complicated discussion i don’t want to get into right now, BUT THE POINT, is that without fail, the Shadows take aspects of them that are TRUE but worry them/are complicated to deal with/they believe are problems, and amp them up to terrifying proportions.
BUT
They also have the aspects of themselves that are positive there too, if hard to notice (deliberately, and warped to look bad besides). Chie’s shadow unquestionably comes off as foreboding, but Chie’s a protective gal. If you’re trying to protect someone it doesn’t exactly work if you don’t look like you have the ability to RUIN whoever you’re trying to scare off. Teddie’s is horrifying, but for all that he’s suggesting the truth is unattainable and all that, Teddie’s concern of if there is even something inside him is betrayed by Shadow Teddie DEFINITELY HAVING SOMETHING INSIDE HIM. And i’m sure i could find more but this is besides the point.
We’re talking about the Phantom Thieves, and how they’re their Shadow Selves.
But well...Look to the Persona 4 crew again. Their shadows come in generic me and Me amped up.
And now Look at the Phantom Thieves. We’ll use Anne again because she’s the really obvious one here but-
Anne>Panther>Carmen isn’t such a big difference from Yukiko>Princess>Shadow Yukiko.
There is the You, with all your aspects, your shadow, your persona’s etc, all together as one gestalt. There’s the Shadow You, The aspects that include things about yourself that you don’t acknowledge/know/deal with. There’s those aspects pumped up to 11 Which is your Persona and Shadow Proper.
And if we take it one step further...
Anne>Panther>Carmen>Hecate
You have yourself, your shadowy side, your Shadowy Side Played at Max Volume....And then you have your “perfected” self, who has integrated the shadow.
To put it simply (because this isn’t an anne post precisely, though I’ll make a proper one sometime down the line probably. Gotta build hype for ROYALE), Hecate isn’t a femme fatale. But if you look at her design well...She has the general SHAPE of a sexy attractive type (Hour Glass, tastes may vary) until you look at her a bit closer and realize everything that would easy peasy be sexy (hips, bust, legs etc) is either concealed, covered in barbs and sharp angles, or is otherwise ends in implements to cause harm. At the same time, the belly is exposed, and there’s a pretty noticeable cut out towards the hips which is...suggestive.
The difference being, as I see it, between a Femme Fatale, a role built around seduction appearance and appealing to baser behaviors, and a literal actual Goddess who while attractive (Hecate STILL appears to be wearing a mask, a feature i’m not 100% but think applies to all the Ultimate Persona’s here) has that as a secondary trait behind the fact that she can and will cancel your corporeal form if you give her an iota of a reason and she’s feeling merciful (see uh...Anne, If I kill Him it would be a kindness but holy shit she was inches from committing the phantom thieves first murder her own damn self.)
But yeah, this pattern still sticks around with all the others if you take a look at it. Ren’s actually another pretty straightforward one in the Ren>Joker>Arsene>Lucifer Dynamic which basically see’s his Suave Confident chaotic ass get aggressively more suave confident and Chaotic (see MY ULTIMATE PERSONA IS LITERALLY THE HEAD OF THE CHAOS FACTION IN SMT HOLY SHIT GUYS)
But yeah, the Phantom Thieves are totes the Shadow Selves, which makes me wonder with...a degree of trepidation of what that would look like for the rest of the persona crews.
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jokerrenwriting · 5 years
Text
Bad Guy - One-Shot
A/N: IDK I prefer the name Ren because I’m lazy and it’s shorter so that’s what I’m gonna call him through most of my writing, probably. This is based on a prompt I saw on Pinterest. Enjoy!
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I smirked up at the black-haired, masked young man, whose dagger blade was pressed against my throat. “How did you get in here? You’re not a Shadow---you’re a persona-user,” he growled. There was more of a purr than a growl to his voice.
I chuckled. “You’re the Phantom Thieves, eh?”
“What of it?” he retorted.
“That makes you Joker. Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
Joker glanced over his shoulder at the rest of his group before turning back to me. In the corner of my eye, I saw the rest of his team file away into the darkness. He pushed me against the wall again, holding my overcoat in his fist, arm across my chest, dagger to my throat. “How did you get into the Metaverse?” he snapped. His hot breath brushed my face.
“Same as you, I assume,” I said, keeping calm despite the mild panic at having a dagger to my throat. The cocky façade I put on was just that---a mask as obvious as the ones covering both of our faces. Hopefully, though, my false confidence would be convincing enough to fool even the charismatic Joker. He was gazing at me with curiosity in his dark eyes. “But, I’ll level with you, Joker. I don’t think you are the bad guy.”
“That right?” he challenged quietly.
“I’ve met plenty of people who’ve done far worse things than you,” I said. “Most of them people I trusted.”
“So you got in using the Meta-Nav?”
“The very same.”
“How have you survived on your own this long?” He released me and dropped his dagger, taking a step back and looking impressed.
“By not being a reckless idiot?” I suggested, pushing my gloved hand through my hair. The muted sunset orange of my gloves stood out against the shadows and reddish light of the depths of Mementos. “By only picking on people my own size?”
That earned me a smirk---a lopsided, alluring one full of amusement and mischief.
I was liking this Joker.
“Look. Maybe you are smart, but this place is dangerous alone. You should come with us.”
“Sorry, J, I work better by myself.”
“What, don’t want anyone to slow you down?” he needled with derision and sarcasm.
I scoffed. “No,” I retorted sharply. “The opposite, actually. I would slow everyone else down if I worked with people. I may be the fastest walker at school, but when I’m in a place like this I want to examine everything.”
I kept the fact that, despite being a pretty good fighter with my persona, I wasn’t actually terribly athletic to myself.
Joker regarded me thoughtfully. “Come with us anyway,” he said.
“No thanks, sweetheart,” I replied, saccharinely sweet, patting Joker on the shoulder. “But if we run into each other again, you’ll have to introduce me to your friends.”
“I, uh... do you even know the rules of the Metaverse?”
“Of course I do. What do you think I am, anyway? Pea-brained? I think not.” I whirled, my braid striking Joker in the chest, and jogged off into the darkness. “It was nice to meet you, Joker!” I called over my shoulder before turning a corner.
*^*^*^*^*
It was about a month before I ran into the PTs in Mementos again.
I’d decided, despite finding Palaces with the Nav, to leave those big targets to the Thieves. They had more people and therefore more power. I could take down one minorly-twisted Shadow on my own. But I wasn’t equipped to fight Palace rulers or steal their Treasures operating alone.
“Evening, Joker,” I remarked upon running into the Phantom Thieves.
“Evening,” Joker replied. “You never told me your name, you know.”
I smirked. “You never told me yours either. I just knew it.” I winked at him and then smiled at the other Thieves. “I’m Sun. Nice to meet you all.”
“Sun, huh?” a girl in black with green circuitry on her suit and long red hair asked skeptically. “I’m Oracle.”
Oracle and Joker? No one told me that codenames had a Batman theme going on...
“Skull,” said a boy with yellow hair and gloves---along with a skull-shaped mask, interestingly enough.
“Fox.”
“Panther.”
“Queen.”
“Noir.”
Oh. So there most definitely wasn’t a Batman theme going on.
“Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” I smiled at them all, waving cheekily and winking at Joker again. “Have a good night. Stay limber. Stay in school. Don’t do drugs. So long.” With a mock, two-fingered salute, I ran down the passage in Mementos.
“Sun!” Joker shouted after me.
Too late. I was already gone.
*^*^*^*^*
“Amaterasu, I’m sending you to Ms. Kawakami’s class for today,” my teacher said.
I bit my tongue to avoid back-talking and asking why. “Yes, sir,” I said instead, getting to my feet and leaving the classroom, bag on my shoulder. The hallways were abandoned since everyone else was in class.
I knocked on the next classroom door. “Ms. Kawakami? I was sent by---”
“Yes. Miss Amaterasu. Go sit by Mr. Amamiya, would you?” She waved over to the column of desks next to the window. There was an open desk in the column next to it, second-to-the-back. The boy directly next to it---seated behind a dirty-blonde girl---had shaggy black hair. He nodded to the empty desk.
“Sure,” I said, crossing the front of the room and edging down the column to fall into the chair.
When Ms. Kawakami wasn’t looking, Mr. Amamiya passed me a piece of torn notebook paper.
What’re you in for? -Ren
I snickered and peeked at him out of the corner of my eye before writing a reply. I back-talk my homeroom teacher a lot. He’s getting sick of me. Doesn’t like that one of his students is smarter than him and corrects him. Nice to meet you properly, Joker.
I passed the paper back.
Ren’s eyes widened behind his glasses and he glared at me. I smirked.
Realization dawned on his face. Amaterasu... he mouthed. Sun goddess... Sun...
I smirked at him and winked. I’ll explain later, I mouthed back.
He nodded.
We went back to our notes to avoid getting called out for not paying attention in class.
*^*^*^*^*
“Amaterasu,” Ren called in the lunchroom, catching sight of me. He jerked his head for the door as I got my tray. I followed him out. He led me up to the roof of the school.
“Haven’t been up here in a while,” I said, sitting on the table part of an old broken desk and balancing my tray on my knees as Ren sat in a chair like a good boy. “Guessing you’re wanting an explanation then? On... me, I guess. Who I am, where I came from, all that, right?”
“That’d be helpful.”
“Well, let’s make a deal. Information exchange. You tell me about you and I’ll tell you about me, Joker.”
“Shh. Don’t use that name here.”
“No one can hear us up here.”
Ren looked around apprehensively. “Okay. It’s a deal. You first.”
I smirked. “Oof. You’re good,” I said, impressed. “The charisma, the confidence, the directness. I appreciate that, man.” I crossed my ankles and swung them. “Alright. Me first.” I told him my story. How I found the Metaverse, how I awakened my persona, how I trained to use my weapons and persona. In return, he promised to tell me his---we ran out of time for his turn as the bell tolled to go back to class.
“Hey. LeBlanc café. After school. Stop by any time. It’s a great place. I’ll be there after school today if you want to hear my story,” Ren said. “Let’s exchange contact info so I can send you the address.”
“Okay.” I pulled my phone out. “Hey Ren?”
“Mm?”
We exchanged information.
“You’re that kid that everyone accuses of being a criminal right?”
He sighed. “Yeah... that’s me.”
“You’re not what I expected. You seem like a good guy. Sorry for what I said in Mementos.”
“Oh. Uh. Thanks.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
“Yeah. My pleasure. I’ll see you later.” I smiled and headed back down into the depths of the school.
*^*^*^*^*
“Joker. Long time no see,” I said as the PTs wheeled around a corner in Mementos. My sarcasm wasn’t lost on them. I’d literally seen him a few hours ago at LeBlanc.
“Yeah,” he said with a smirk. “Hey guys, you go on ahead. I’m gonna talk to Sun for a minute.”
“Ah. The never-ending recruitment quest,” Ryuji---I mean, Skull---joked.
“Yeah. Sure. We’ll leave,” the strange small cat-like creature remarked. I still didn’t have a clue that that thing was and I definitely didn’t have the courage to ask. Back in reality it looked like a normal cat. But it was a talking normal cat in the real world. Which was more than a little trippy. When Ren was telling me his story occasionally the cat would butt in and add something. Every time I had to resist the urge to scream. We were in the attic of the café at the time---that was serving as Ren’s living space for the year---and there were customers below.
I digress.
The Phantom Thieves jogged down the darkened tunnels and vanished into the shadows.
“What about it?” Joker asked.
“Huh? What about what?”
“Wanna join?”
“I already said, hot shot, I’m better off alone. But thanks. And if I ever really screw up and need a hand I’ll know who to reach out to.” I pulled him down to my level---he was several centimeters taller than me---by the lapel of his sexy overcoat and kissed him on the cheek just below his mask. “No matter what the public says, you’re not a bad guy and more people than just me believe in you, ya hear?” I whispered.
He leaned back just enough to meet my eyes. “I hear. Thanks.”
“‘Course. Good luck.”
“You too. Be careful.”
“I should be saying that to you. You’re the reckless one. Take care of the other Phantom Thieves, okay?”
“I do my best.”
“I know. Goodnight, Joker.”
“Goodnight, Sun.”
Before I could run off, he snagged my hand. I paused, half turned away from him to dive deeper into the depths of Mementos on my own. But his red glove was wrapped around my orange one.
I didn’t even get the chance to ask what he thought he was doing.
He just lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my glove. “A pleasure, as always,” he said.
“Oof you’re suave,” I teased, sliding my hand out of his grip, giving him a wink, and running into the darkness. “Careful Joker.” I was too far away for him to hear me, so I was talking to myself. “Keep that up and I may end up head-over-heels.”
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Casting The Batman
Director Matt Reeves said in a Q&A that he expects THE BATMAN to start production at the end of this year.  Now that's still quite a way off, but for that to happen a few things need to happen... like casting.
It's be confirmed that Ben Affleck has stepped away from the Batcave, and we're now looking at a new actor putting on the cowl.
Firstly, we need to asses... is Reeves' Batflick part of the DCEU, or does it stand aside, like the upcoming JOKER movie starring Joaquin Phoenix, despite the fact Jared Leto is expected to carry on as the Clown Prince of Crime within the shared universe.
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Why is this important?  Well, Whilst Affleck is going off, that doesn't mean the supporting characters have to change cast, especially if it's in the shared universe.   Particular roles are in place.  Jeremy Irons as played Alfred in two movies now, and JK Simmons popped up in the JUSTICE LEAGUE as Commissioner James Gordon.   Either of those actors could continue.  Even if this movie is in the past.  Sure a younger actor in either part may make sense, but CAPTAIN MARVEL just proved you can do a whole film with nifty de-aging effects (Samuel L Jackson's Nick Fury).
Whilst I will, naturally, look towards who could be cast in supporting (and villainous) roles, right now we're going to focus on the big issue.  Who should play Batman?
Below are a list of different actors who I've seen suggested, or am suggesting myself, that could end up as the next Dark Knight. I've included a variety of ages too... just covering the bases.
KARL URBAN
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This one was an obvious inclusion. Before Affleck was announced, Urban was my (and seemingly half the internet) top choice.  Probably best known currently as Dr McCoy in the new age STAR TREK movies, he also appeared as DREDD, and more recently played Skurge in THOR: RAGNAROK over in the MCU.  He's around the same age as Affleck (both born in 1972), so this would be more of a direct recast, but a popular one I believe.
ROBERT PATTINSON
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Urg.  No.  This would annoy me... but a major rumour recently was that the TWILIGHT star was in talks for Bruce Wayne and his alter ego.  To be honest, it wouldn't be the WORST casting in the DCEU (Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor, anyone?) and I would still give the guy a go.  It's just not a casting I'd be excited about. With Pattinson we'd have a Batman in his early 30s.
ARMIE HAMMER
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The funny thing with this one... it was basically reported that Hammer had got the job.  The actor had to debunk the casting himself.  There's quite a fanbase for the actor to get this role, and to be fair, he had once been attached to a Batman role in the past, when he was cast as Bruce Wayne in a defunct JUSTICE LEAGUE movie.   Still, whilst the actor said nobody (in power) had talked to him, the media buzz may have brought him to the attention of Reeves... so I wouldn't rule out this casting entirely.   I'd certainly prefer it to Pattinson.  Both actors are the same actor as 32.
AIDAN TURNER
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This Irish actor is very popular with the ladies (good for Bruce Wayne) and was a sheer highlight as vampire Mitchell in BEING HUMAN (the UK series)… He's currently the heartthrob lead in POLDARK, and was the heartthrob dwarf Kili in THE HOBBIT trilogy.   And whilst there probably has been a lot of onus on his looks, he just happens to be a really good actor, and in his mid 30s, I believe shouldn't be dismissed as a potential Batman (or Bond!).
TARON EGERTON
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Now, this wouldn't be an ideal choice, but I'm throwing it in there.  Egerton's currently 29, so the youngest on my list at this point, and he's making quite a name for himself.  I think his best qualification for Batman is his role in the KINGSMAN franchise, but he also recently played ROBIN HOOD.  He's possibly a little on the short side for Batman, and whilst he has the physicality for the role, I don't think he's the best fit for Bruce Wayne.  However, I would definitely put him near the top of a NIGHTWING list.  As Dick Grayson does become Batman at some point, I thought it'd be fair to include him on here.
K J APA
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Apa's the youngest person on this list at 21. If I'm honest, I'm not sure he quite has the charisma for Bruce Wayne, and he feels a little young for Bats, but that might be what Reeves is looking for.  Apa is Archie, the lead character in RIVERDALE, and he does get to play detective - which plays into comments Reeves has made.
KIT HARINGTON
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Funnily enough, I was actually going to include Harington's onscreen brother Richard Madden, from GAME OF THRONES but I've switched it.  Harington certainly has the broody look down.  We all know how Batman likes to brood, and with GoT coming to an end, Kit's probably looking for a new high-profile acting gig.  THE BATMAN wouldn't be a bad way to go.  Not sure how people would take to this casting though, I'm not sure how the actor is perceived in the public eye. Agewise, he's inline with the likes of Pattinson and Hammer.
LIAM NEESON
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I said, I'd be cover all the bases, and this one's going the other way, with an older actor. Liam Neeson is 66.   He's already been a part of the Batworld, featuring in THE DARK KNIGHT trilogy as villain R'as Al Ghul. But what if we turned that around and made him the big man himself.  Casting Zeus, Aslan and Qui-Gon Jinn as Batman works for me!
JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN
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Okay, so this is not a clear-cut choice... but I'm throwing it out there anyway.  Morgan played Thomas Wayne in the opening scenes of BATMAN V SUPERMAN.   We know that there's an upcoming move (supposedly) based on FLASHPOINT, and in that, rather than Bruce becoming Batman, his father does instead.  What if the DCEU are clever and tie this alternative reality into the cast change... handing the cowl over to Morgan.  Personally I like it.  Recasting Batman without recasting Bruce Wayne.  Morgan is in his 50s, and currently plays the violent Negan in THE WALKING DEAD.
BRAD PITT
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No, really.  Like Morgan, Pitt is in his 50's, but he's still got that good-looking, swagger (perfect for an aging Bruce), and he'd be a pretty commercial choice I think. Plus, Pitt is a pretty decent actor.  He'd be able to display a few different facets for the caped crusader, and might be able to channel that dark SEVEN vibe, tying in with Matt Reeves'  noir detective tale.
Now, I should probably start wrapping this list up.   I've already listed 10, but there's still two more I think deserve a mention.  One positive, one negative. 
JAKE GYLLENHAAL
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Now, you're probably expecting Jake to be the positive, but no.  I do not like the idea of him playing Batman.  He's not right for the role.  So why am I including him now?   Gyllenhaal was a possible casting way back when Christian Bale was cast.  As were Joshua Jackson and Wes Bentley.   I'd actually rather Bentley get given the shot of any of them, but Jake gets the mention because apparently Matt Reeves may have his eye on him.   I'm not against JG as an actor, in fact I'm looking forward to his turn as Mysterio in SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME over at the MCU.  I just don't think he'd be *my* Batman if he were to be cast.
Which leaves us with...
OSCAR ISAAC
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I saw Isaac's name pop up on another list, and you know what... I wouldn't mind it.  I wouldn't have thought of him myself,  He's half Guatemalan, half Cuban, which would add ethnicity to the character that had typically been played by straight up white American or Brits, with being as controversial as, say casting Idris Elba (who, incidentally has joined the DCEU as Deadshot, replacing Will Smith).  Isaac is suave enough to play Bruce, and intense enough to play Batman.  He's a good actor, and now has quite a following thanks to his part in the current STAR WARS trilogy.  Of the twelve candidates listed here, he's definitely up the top end for me.
It would have been quite easy to fall in with listing every dark-haired furrow-browed actor in Hollywood, but I tried to streamline the list a little.  Personally for me, my tick rests near Urban still, although I accept it's unlikely.   It's going to be interesting to see who they do go with in the end.  There was a lot of negativity against Affleck's casting, but I think most can agree he's been a highlight of the DCEU.
Whoever get's cast, will be filling the shoes of  Adam West, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, Christian Bale and Affleck.   Soon, I'll also be looking at the supporting cast - including an actor I almost included here as a potential Batman, but then realised I'd love to see him as a Riddler...
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justinmoviereviews · 4 years
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The Class of 2019
As always, just trying to catalog what I saw this year. Let’s do this shit.
1917 - Sam Mendes
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I’ve never seen a war movie like this. I’ve never seen something that was so empty, so decayed and lifeless. Usually these things are about honor or brotherhood or whatever. This one was a horror movie. Gothic. Disturbing. And credit Dunkirk for helping everyone else realize that war movies should be told in the present tense.
Uncut Gems - Bennie and Josh Safdie
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Good Time was better because it’s rawness was more painful. Because it’s kineticism was more sociological. Because it physically hurt to watch it. And because Robert Pattinson is a better actor than Adam Sandler (my sincere apologies). But these guys have figured out to a science how to film desperation and visceral consumption and need; they chronicle the ugliest parts of the mind and shoot them in the ugliest parts of New York. 
Little Women - Greta Gerwig
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Oh no, I’ve lost interest in writing these. Greta Gerwig is sharper than the average writer, and is going to get a lot of mileage writing interesting female characters, which will keep me occupied way longer than, for instance, JJ Abrams writing Strong Female characters so he gets to keep his third house. But look for this refrain whenever I see good movies that aren’t really made for me, my favorite character here was Timothee Chalamet, popping up sporadically to mack (suavely!) on all three sisters.
Bombshell - Jay Roach
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Structurally it’s a little bit of a mess, but Megyn Kelly playing detective to an internal corporate scandal works surprisingly well.
The Two Popes - Fernando Meirelles
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Some nitpicks: this movie engages with the child abuse a little bit, but it doesn’t offer any resolution--how could it? The scandal is ongoing, and has mired the legacy of Francis, the good Pope, just like it mired his predecessor’s, the bad one. And some of the dialogue is a little trite; was Benedict this much of a close-minded conservative? Was he really this bad at selling his own vision of the church? I also wonder if movies seem smaller now that we’re watching them all on our TVs. But mostly I thought this was fantastic. I love movies about ideas centered around conversation, and this one does it with so much humanism. The Pope as a role is one of the most complex, elite and fascinating people on the planet. This movie comes so much closer to showing that than I thought it would.
Marriage Story - Noah Baumbach
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A cursory search of images from this movie for this post makes me realize how well it’s shot--maybe this really was meant to be his Scenes From a Marriage. It isn’t--he’s not a good enough director to ever be Bergman, he’s too burdened by the things he likes and thinks about, like hipster references and witty repartee--but this is the best movie of his I’ve ever seen. Funny, sharp, and if it isn’t a universal depiction of the disillusion of love, it’s empathetic and compassionate about two characters he likes and cares about. Adam Driver is the best actor working right now. Scarlett Johansson can’t quite keep up, but who could?
Ford v Ferrari - James Mangold
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Fast cars and the manly men who build them. This could have been better--the writing is a little too beholden to a generic structure that’s beneath the A+ power of Matt Damon and Christian Bale, who are, straight up, two of our finest actors. Ideally this flick just lets these two dudes dick around for 150 minutes. But fuck man, this shit rocks.
The irishman - Martin Scorsese
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This is the calm gangster movie made by a bunch of men who haven’t had to hustle in 30 years. Scorsese is a smart guy, so he probably knows that a de-aged Robert De Niro isn’t going to be as resonant as some young hotshot trying like hell to make a name for himself. It makes the movie weirdly low-stakes, and it only truly comes alive at the end, when De Niro is looking back on his life and facing his regrets, like a man in his 80s ought to be. But look, Scorsese is one of the best to ever do it, and gangster movies are where he lives. If this is mostly a retrospective on four of the best careers to ever track through Hollywood, and I sort of think it is, it’s still got ten scenes that will stand up against any of our man’s best.
The Laundromat - Steven Soderbergh
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Steven Soderbergh does The Big Short. Turns out he’s also pretty good at it.
The Lighthouse - Robert Eggers
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Robert Eggers is a formalist who understands that movies can be about whatever they want as long as they look good and sound good. This is a movie about, I think, madness. Just madness, just the idea of being isolated and going mad. If you’re wondering, like I was, if that’s enough of a theme to hang a whole movie on (I mean, these things are expensive), well, I think the point of this one is that it’s weird as fuck, it looks real good and it sounds real good. 
Parasite - Bong Joon Ho
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This movie is at it’s best when it’s at it’s weirdest. I like Bong most when he’s using a heightened absurdity to point out the ways in which our political systems are unforgivable. 
Motherless Brooklyn - Edward Norton
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I know it was in the book, but the Tourette’s syndrome of the main character seems to me like a postmodern tic, like making a straight noir in 2019 wasn’t enough for a studio that assumed audiences would need some kind of a 21st Century bent. I don’t think it adds much to the story, so I want it out there that this is just such a good fucking straight noir. I would personally finance it if they made like three of these a year. 
High Flying Bird - Steven Soderbergh
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Soderbergh is gonna need to get over his love affair with the iPhone camera--someone needs to remind him that movies can look a lot better than this--but this is the kind of movie that could have been and maybe started as a play. Things happen off camera and all you see is characters talking about them after the fact. But the writing is phenomenal. Snappy and smart. Maybe my favorite script of the year.
Joker - Todd Phillips
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Upon further review, I think this movie never should have been made, but I do like it. I’m not a purist, frankly I think comic book movies are for nerds, but what makes the Joker powerful is that he doesn’t have a backstory. This movie isn’t good enough to justify giving him one, but it’s so ambiguous and strange that it doesn’t ruin anything either. I spent a lot of time wondering if the events of the movie actually happened, or if they were all in the protagonist’s head. I guess the answer is that it doesn’t really matter: if it all did happen it would destroy the throughline of the Nolan movies, and if it all didn’t it would make the movie kind of lame. Ultimately it’s a story about a discarded man who learns that evil gives him a control he never had before. That’s a heavy topic to make a movie about, and a better movie would have been heavier. But  it’s still an interesting watch, and Joaquin Phoenix goes to the places the movie itself won’t.
Ad Astra - James Gray
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I have nothing against pretentious movies. Some of my best friends are pretentious movies! But if you’re going to be as solemn and portentous as this one is, I think your thesis needs to be a little more insightful than that love is important. This movie looks fantastic. It’s got killer monkeys in it, and an Apocalypse Now meets 2001 pedigree. It should have been a lot better.
It Chapter Two - Andy Muschietti
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Ugh, this one was not good. The writing is pretty bad, storylines open up and fizzle out without going anywhere, the structure is simple to the point of being lazy. The first one was so good, and this is just a crappy cash-in. Oh well. 
Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood - Quentin Tarantino
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Look, Tarantino is probably my favorite director. Pulp Fiction is the movie that first taught me to love movies, and he’s never in his life made an artistic choice that I didn’t intuitively understand. I don’t think anyone else has justified their otherworldly self-confidence more than he has. If other directors are more artistically or technically accomplished, I’d struggle to find anyone who better put the thoughts and images in their brain onto celluloid better than him. If this had been made by some new hotshot named Chris Anderson or something, I’m buying a poster of it and telling everyone who will listen about the breakout auteur of the decade. But for the first time in my entire life, I wondered what Tarantino’s point was. Why did he make this movie? The highlight, for me, is Leonardo DiCaprio, who since Django Unchained has apparently realized that he’s at his best when he’s hamming it up and having a blast.
Midsommar - Ari Aster
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Two movies in, Ari Aster has mastered tone. My man is in control of his movie from frame one, and the result is that his stuff feels smart. This one wasn’t as wild or unexpected as Hereditary--in fact the most surprising thing about it is that it really isn’t surprising at all; it’s about a sinister cult in northern Sweden, and it hits all the beats that tagline would suggest. But that’s not the same as saying it’s predictable--he still has a gift for ultraviolence, and he hovers in a space that forces you to prepare yourself for anything. My only complaint is that I wish it had been more of a mindfuck. It’s ultimately a simpler movie than you might hope for. But this guy isn’t going anywhere. He’ll be on the prestige list for as long as he wants.
The Perfection - Richard Shepard
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If Allison Williams is going to make a career out of deconstructing overachieving white girls, I don’t want it to get lost that she is also insanely hot. Like, just so hot. Anyway, this is one hell of a grindhouse flick, all the way down to being a little less pleasant than you’d expect or even really want. Watch it on a Saturday afternoon and feel a little queasy afterwards.
Avengers: Endgame - Anthony and Joe Russo 
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Look, I don’t know what to say to you if you take these movies seriously. You probably wouldn’t like my blog anyway. I thought this was a really good ride. If you have problems with the plot holes or the character inconsistencies, I might recommend catching something other than the final installments of global franchises that are obligated to gross two billion dollars.
Us - Jordan Peele
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If Jordan Peele were a quarterback he’d be Deshaun Watson--a top level talent who’s going to be relevant for at least the next ten years. Get Out was a statement, a cheap little movie from one half of a decent sketch comedy show that blew the doors off the tavern and walked in so much smarter and better than anyone was prepared for. But right now, sitting on my couch, Us is the movie I want to watch. It was never going to be as surprising as Get Out because this time out our expectations were so much higher. But this is the kind of movie I ultimately want him to make his fortune with--funny, scary, worth talking about afterwards. A horror movie from a guy with interesting ideas who’s been given the keys to do whatever he wants.
Glass - M. Night Shyamalan
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I caught this bad boy in January. At the time I figured there was no way I’d remember anything about it by the end of the year. I don’t. 
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cait-writes-stuff · 7 years
Text
No More Lies
Prompt: Would it too much trouble to write where Bruce/Batman is the god-father of the reader because he had a close relationship with the reader's mom and became a father figure to the reader (since she has never seen her father ever) and when Bruce takes the reader in after her mom's death, they develop a daughter/father bond? However, during/after an event, it is revealed the reader is actually Bruce's daughter?
You woke up in a blurry haze, the room around you dirty and dark. A stab of pain ripped through your head and you looked down to find yourself strapped to an archaic looking electric chair.
Get out. I have to get out of here.
A wave of lightheadedness suddenly washed over you, forcing you to close your eyes and rest your head against the back of the wooden chair. You took in slow steady breaths while you waited for the spots to stop dancing across your vision.
Where am I anyway?
Before you could ponder too much about how you wound up here a slow cold cackle filled the room. What blood was left in your veins chilled at the sound. You knew that distinctive laugh from anywhere.
No. Please dear god no.
“The Sleeping Beauty awakens!” He said with frightening enthusiasm. “You know, it’s not very lady like to keep your prince waiting.” He said, his voice lowering dangerously. If there was one flaw you had it was lack of self preservation. A normal person would keep their mouth shut, they would do whatever this monster wanted in the hopes that they might come out of this alive. You though, you were far too strong willed to stay quiet in the face of danger.
“You’re no prince of mine.” You spat. He smiled sickeningly at you and reached his hand out to squeeze your cheeks between his thumb and forefinger.
“Not yet, I’m not.” He said with misplaced fondness, tapping the tip of your nose. Before you could attempt to bite his finger he stood up, grabbed the back of the chair and started dragging you to another room. “My poor Harley has strayed from me but you know what I’m a reasonable man so it’s time for me to move on from her. I need a new Harley. A better Harley. You might just be exactly what I need. Just think about it: me, handsome, devilish, charming, hilarious, suave . . . you get the picture. And you, the soon to be . . . transformed daughter of Bruce Wayne. We’ll take Gotham together and the best part it your precious Daddy won’t have enough money in the world to stop us!” He said before breaking down in a fit of laughter. Everything about him made your skin crawl.
“Fuck you. He’s not my father.” You snarled. He chuckled as you entered your final destination. The room was bare apart from a large boiling cauldron of acid centered in the middle of the room. As he dragged you towards the pot, panic started to clench at your chest.
“Don’t tell me he never told you!” He cackled. “Oh this is classic! I wish I filmed this. Oh wait! I did!” He laughed pointing towards the camera that was set up on a tripod in the corner. “Say hi to daddy dearest, sweetums.” He purred lewdly.
“You don’t know shit, you raving lunatic.” You growled.
“I know Daddy Waynebucks is your sperm donor just like I know how pretty you mommy dearest looks after a relaxing acid facial. You really should try it some time.” He replied his tone dark and threatening. Once again he grabbed the back of your chair but instead of dragging you in any direction he pushed your over, holding the chair so that your face was hovering just over the acid. You turned your face away from the fumes but you could still feel the fumes burning at your skin.
“If you live through this you’ll be the most beautiful Harley I’ve ever had.”
“Take your hands off her.” A new dark voice growled. Relief washed over you at the familiar voice.
Batman. My father.
“I’d rethink your choice of words Batsy.” the Joker teased, allowing his grip on the chair to slip, letting you fall until your cheek was just inches away from the toxic liquid.
“Give her to me or so help me I’ll break every bone in your body.” Batman threatened stalking closer to him but with every step he took, the Joker’s grip loosened. The man you had always assumed was just your god father stopped when he realized this. It was a standoff between two intense opposing forces.
“This takes me back Bats. You and me, staring each other down, the poor girl with a face full of acid. You remember little [Y/N]’s mother right? How you were too late to save the poor thing? I wonder if history will repeat itself.” He rambled wistfully. You could see the calculation running through your god father’s, no your father’s, mind. “Come on Batsy. Poor [Y/N] probably won’t last nearly as long as her mother did.”
“No one dies tonight Joker.” Batman growled.
“Tell that to [Y/N].” He retorted. “Whoops! Clumsy me!” He giggled before releasing you. You clenched your eyes shut and let out a terrified scream for the first time in your life. You had always been told that you mother was killed in a terrible fire, that it was all a terrible tragedy. Everything about your life was a lie and now you would die just as your mother had. Even in the last few seconds of your life, the irony wasn’t lost on you.
As soon as the Joker’s hands were off of you Bruce sprang forward and pushed your chair sideways. The impact of the floor was painful but it was a lot less painful than being submerged in a pot of acid would have been.Your father drapped to his knees and undid your binds, taking you into his arms as soon as you were free. In the midst of the chaos the Joker slipped away, his laugh echoing down the halls before disappearing completely.
“You’re safe now. He can’t hurt you.” He reassured. You weren’t sure who he was trying to convince: you or him.
“Everything that he said was it true?” You asked.
“[Y/N], we can talk about this later.” He replied with a softness that wasn’t often present in his voice. His answer was enough to feed into your doubts.
“No.” You said firmly. Your entire life you had believed in the life that had been crafted for you, that your mother had died a tragic but otherwise normal death when you were too young to remember, that your father wasn’t in the picture but your god father Bruce Wayne took you in when you were just a little girl. Now you were worried that everything about your life had been a lie. “Did you know?” You repeated.
“Yes.” He admitted.
“After all these years, why didn’t you say anything? I needed my father.” You cried.
“I’ve always been here for you, [Y/N], even if I couldn’t call myself your father. Everything I’ve ever done, it’s been for your safety. Your mother and I agreed when you were born that you would be safest if you were kept away from me.”
“So what? I was your dirty little secret? Your bastard child that you hide away from the world?” You asked accusingly.
“No, never!” He swore. “We wanted to keep you safe. This was your mother’s wish and I respected it even after she passed. I should have told you sooner.” He admitted. You wiped the tears from your eyes with your sleeve before hugging your father in a bone crushing embrace.
“Please. No more lies.” You pleaded.
“No more lies.”
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thetaekooklibrary · 7 years
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Yo, i was wondering if you knew anything relatively new that's long and promising, I've run out of long fics, thanks!
well, I haven’t had time to read a lot of longs fic recently, so I’m not sure about the quality of all of these, but they are all long and the plots look interesting. some of these are WIPs, I hope that’s okay (I’ll list the completed ones first tho). I’ll keep it above 20k!
complete
起死回生; To Live Again by mindheist - Fiction gives us a second chance that life denies us.
(AMAZING BEAUTIFUL PERFECT READ IT IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY)
(thought you knew) you were in this song by expplipo - Taehyung nearly chokes, but only nearly. Instead he raises an eyebrow and puts on the most suave smile he can manage. Hopes he looks far more collected than his for-some-reason racing heartbeat would let on, more suit-and-wine than elementary-schooler-with-a-new-crush. “You like me?” Jeongguk blushes, and looks at his feet. He’s smiling. “Of course.” “Really?” Taehyung says. “Like? Or like like?” (So much for suit-and-wine.)
(so so good, but also sad)
I Won’t Fall (in love with you) by taeharem - “You have to promise not to fall in love with me.”
(this was published in august but completed in december, so it’s kinda recent? it’s really good tho, so you should definitely read it if you haven’t already)
you and me, we’re bumper cars by syugaflake - “The more I try to get to you, the more we crash apart.” After a myriad of mistakes committed in his leather jacket with a cigarette between his teeth, Jungkook finds himself exiled to his aunt’s house in a quiet, faraway town for the summer. Nothing much goes on at the neighbourhood; or so he thinks, until he meets a boy with sunset-coloured hair named Kim Taehyung.
(again, this was published in the summer but completed in december. it was really good!)
Hiraeth by haruguk - Jeongguk has learned the hard way from the tender age of thirteen when his father pushed him down the stairs, that people are a disappointment. They always will be and so he breaks hearts instead. Hurt people hurt people. Jeongguk likes hurting girls, but he doesn’t like hurting Kim Taehyung.
Swamp Magic by GinForInk - Two witches lure Jungkook into their cabin in the woods.
(I haven’t read this, but admin guk has and she really liked it, it’s also by the author who wrote Hercules and I loved that so I trust that this would be good too)
This Is Heaven, Give It To Me by seikou - Taehyung just might have signed his soul to the devil.
I know a land called the land of the living by Pardon - Jeongguk thought hearing ghosts was way worse than people made it out to be. All their jokes were terrible.
Take It With A Swallow by seikou - Perverted minds do think alike. (or, alternatively: the fuckboys!au)
Shifting On My Feet by MarionetteFtHJM - With the ever-growing crime rate in the city there’s no telling what the leading figures will do to remain leading. The safety of the people is at risk and the possible collateral damage looms over the authorities. There is only one safe option, sacrifice a few to save the lives of many. Tear them from the inside, cool the situation down- should be easy enough, right? Jeongguk was just trying to live out his days peacefully, but running from one’s past never really worked out for anybody- so why would he be an exception? He’s not. Demons tend to find who they’re looking for in the end.
Fifty Shades of Happiness by Kookie_andCream - Taehyung’s plan is simple: fall in love with Jeon Jungkook and ace his final assignment. (Spoiler: it isn’t that simple.)
The Forest by Jeojahyungnim - Taehyung is a photographer in a college town nearby a forest nobody is allowed to enter. His life changes when he meets a boy in the woods known for being completely void of life.
Feel it Kicking in by rix - Jeongguk and Taehyung are just riding it out together, getting high on waves and drugs and each other—platonically, of course.
(I don’t read rix’s stuff since I’m not into bottom guk, but admin guk loves all of their stuff and a lot of people seem to love their stories, so I’m sure this is great!)
Mutual Fiend by kkumkkatcher - “I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.” An AU where Jungkook needs to kill Taehyung, but Taehyung also needs to kill Jungkook, and things get (more than) a bit complicated.
make this feel like home by aeterisks - Taehyung has spent his whole life looking for excitement, but instead, he ends up finding Jeongguk; somehow, that seems to be even better.
hold me like i’m hope by jjks - “Uh,” he says eloquently, looking back at Taehyung. “Do you, like, want something?” “Nah, I’m just popping in,”  Taehyung says, looking around the place again. Jeongguk stares at him in confusion. “Wh–” he starts to ask when he’s interrupted by Taehyung grinning at him. “Yeah, I’d like to schedule a time to get a tattoo.” “Of course he wants a fucking tattoo, dumbass, why do you think he’s here?” It’s Hoseok, and honestly that warrants another punch to the shoulder, but Jeongguk decides to play it nice. He’s a good boy. OR: let me present to you the most cliché trope of all, starring tattoo artist jeon jeongguk & florist kim taehyung.
Candy-Wrapper Blue by Kookie_andCream - On 15 January 2017, Taehyung runs over a little girl named Im Yoona with his car. (It was an accident.) On 16 January 2017, his guardian angel comes down to earth. (His name is Jungkook.) Slowly but surely, in a whirl of wings and golden tears, the sinful and the angelic learn to love each other. (And it is a beautiful disaster woven out of light and shadows in a world of men and angels.)
Soulmates or not (You’re mine, and I’m yours) by taedybear - Jeongguk meets Taehyung on the most frustrating day at work in the bubble tea shop, and the world around him swirls into colours and patterns at the sight of the beautiful boy.
Daddy’s Lil’ Monster by BloodLikeRoyalty - Jungkook, also known as The Joker, is a notorious mobster that ruled the city of Gotham, and when Kim Taehyung, a man as beautiful as he is crazy, joins him and remains by his side, they prove to be a devastating menace.
WIP (as of 1/28/17)
vampires will never hurt you by snowmoney - taehyung had already had a pretty weird day, so really, being cornered into an alley by a vampire on his way home from work was probably to be expected. - “but what if a vampire drank the blood of someone who was anemic would they be seriously grossed out” au
(this one is recent, ½ chapters rn, 11k for just the first chapter, I like it so far)
Nyctophile by yururin - “Like I said, monsters aren’t real, Taehyung.” Jimin quickly pulled the closet doors open. At the bottom of the closet, sitting on the floor and leaning heavily against the walls, was a man with dark pink hair clad in dark clothes, bleeding and injured and looking positively close to death. Jimin didn’t know what to do.
We Make a Nice Pear by jeonnifer - Jeongguk tries to get the new transfer student expelled from the academy and fails. (Jeongguk tries not to fall for Kim Taehyung and fails even harder.)
Hustlers by tbz - Jungkook hadn’t meant to lose nine million. He certainly hadn’t meant to lose his kidney. And he hadn’t meant to meet Kim Taehyung.
i know you wanna go to heaven (but you’re human tonight) by moonlightae -Taehyung just thought it would be a one night stand, but he gets more than he bargained for  
Kiss With a Fist by justanotherstarlessnight - “Need a little help, love?” Jungkook asks, teasing him. “Nah I had it all under control, sweetheart,” Taehyung answers with a smile, blood oozing from his split lip. Goddamn even smiling hurt now. Fuckity fuck fuck. Jungkook only rolls his eyes, his cocky smirk never slipping and Taehyung almost forgets how much pain he’s in. prompt-Can you please write the “ kick his ass for me” prompt with taekook!
Assassin’s Order by TaeSyubDKook - CEO Taehyung gets tangled up in some illegal business without even knowing and when Assasin Jeongguk gets assigned to extract information from him after being caught, he realizes in what mess he’s gotten himself into and agrees to cooperate with the assassins, after learning their true reasons, to bring down his uncle’s company. What Jeongguk and Taehyung didn’t expect was falling for each other in the progress.
pulling shapes just for your eyes by aeterisks - The number one rule when you’re a producer on a show like Miss Right, Taehyung thinks, should be do not fall for the bachelor. It’s such a shame Taehyung has never been good at following rules.
I’m only human (after all) by Lalaithwen - Taehyung always thought, writing your own destiny was way better anyways.
Hold Me Through the Winter by KrellaTu - When Taehyung sets off for what should have been a boring lab expedition with Jungkook, his mage academy’s resident genius and total heartthrob, and Wonwoo, his devoted best friend, his life changes forever. Beneath Taehyung’s goofy antics is a dangerous past and an unbearable loneliness. Within his fragile heart is a secret power. The universe has more planned for him than he would hope. Can Taehyung and Jungkook’s relationship withstand the hardships to come?
These Grey Walls (Can’t keep me from you) by Gracetheorc - They aren’t allowed to love each other. Jungkook’s never liked following the rules.Trapped within the confines of an institution where even talking to someone else is prohibited, Jungkook and Taehyung just can’t stay away from each other anymore. No matter how much trouble it causes.
got a question or request? check our tags page first to see if what you’re looking for is already there, or use the search bar on our blog! if you don’t have any luck with that, feel free to send us an ask^^
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rebelcthulhu · 7 years
Note
Fandom meme: mass effect or fallout! Your pick!
YAAAAASSS! Thank you so much for the ask! Sorry it took me so long to reply. My baby brother got me a new lap top recently and it spent most of last night updating, so I was kind SOL, ha. Anyway thank you so much again! I think I’m just gonna go ahead and do both because honestly what person could chose just one of those awesome games????
MASS EFFECT
favorite male character(s): I’d have to say Mr. Vakarian, Kaidan Alenko, Grunt my weird dino son, and the bad boy frogger Thane Krios, in no pacific order of corse because who could choose.
favorite female character(s): Ohhh.. This is a toughy… Liara is obviously really high up there, but then there is Tali and Jack… I’m just gonna say it’s a tie between all three!
least favorite character(s): Fuck me, it’s like how do you answer this one without getting someone pissed off… Ehh ok.. Yeah, I’m just gonna have to go with Miranda. Now before anyone gets pissy this is strictly just me. I didn’t like her attitude through the entire game, and while, no I don’t hate her, I just feel her personality contradicted my own at every conceivable chance.
best looking character(s): Mmmm, style wise Imma have to go with Thane. Idk why, but that frogger always just seemed really suave to me. AND TILL THIS DAY HE STILL DESERVED BETTER! Also Garrus and James Vega are honorable mentions!
funniest character(s): Joker and EDI hands fucking down. I still find myself laughing at some of their convos and it’s just like ahhhh.
favorite season(s): Ohh, so I think instead of doing “seasons” I’m going to list my favorite planets! Tis’ an interesting Mass Effect twist! So there are like my basic favorites, like Illium and Omega, but what a lot of people don’t know is I absolutely loved the frozen planet in ME1, Noveria. Don’t ask me why, but I spent twice as much time on that pacific planet than I did any other. I guess I just loved the kind of atmosphere that quest line had with the landscape of the planet. Hell even Liara’s mother kinda mirrored it in that her outwardly cold nature.
favorite ship(s): Call me what you want but my favorite ship is Shakarian, and it’s really not for the reasons that you’d think. Yeah, I liked them as much as any other ship, but I personally found the relationship somewhat awkward, yet in a good way you know? The real reason I ship them so hard though is because of the friendship. I don’t think I’ve ever played a game before where I became so invested in two characters friendship. Like I don’t care how you feel about Garrus, but you can’t deny that him and Shepard made one hell of a fucking team!
And that concludes my Mass Effect rant, shall we move on to the Fallout insanity, yes?
FALLOUT
favorite male character(s): Fucking hell I thought the Mass Effect one was difficult.. Charon, Danse, Hancock, Dogmeat, Bryan Wilks, Benny, and Deacon are all in no particular order, but my absolute #1 favorite character in fallout is the one and only Megaton bartender, Gob! I remember when I first started playing I was so smitten with him, but unfortunately there is soooo litttttllle content about him. It truly is very heart breaking, he is such a cool character.
favorite female character(s): I find my self very torn between, Piper, Nova, and Cait, but at the same time, I feel like Nova and Cait are very similar. I wonder if there are any fics with those two interacting. I mean it would be interesting to say the least. As for Piper, oh lord I just see her and myself as being best friends IRL, in a lot of ways she reminds me of my actual best friend. They are both so passionate and I love the way she talks with her hands, it made for a very realistic character trait.
least favorite character(s): This is weird, but I don’t think that I really hated anyone in the Fallout Universe. I mean I didn’t really care for Doctor Li, she came off as a bitch to my Wander and I didn’t particularly like her, but I didn’t really hate her.
best looking character(s): Hancock is obviously leagues above everyone else, but Preston is a very very close second. I also think Butch Deloria is an honorable mention as well as Boonie (just solely because of the hat.) Oh and who could forget Benny and the oh so sexy checkered suit.
funniest character(s): Is there really any contest for this one? I mean it’s Deacon. I even have a gif I made of the crazy asshole streaking while fighting supermutants. I don’t think there’s even anyone I could compare him too, ha.
favorite season(s): What is it with video games and seasons? I guess I’m gonna substitute this one with favorite region in Fallout, which is also in itself kinda tricky. Aside from the Glowing sea, I think one of the most beautiful places to explore (at least in my taste) was Point Lookout. It was very creepy and dark, which my black heart ABSOLUTELY LOVED. And the rad billies, man I still get freaked out playing it sometimes. Other than all of that, the actual scenery was very depressing and it all around expressed the post apocalyptic nature of the games.
favorite ship(s): Damn so I never realized how much harder it was to think about ships when the games never really revolved around them. I mean there is my favorite, Charon/Lone Wander, but I really don’t know of any others from the passed games. I guess another one of my personal favorites is Paladin Danse/f!Sole Survivor. I just think it adds for a good story considering how there could be so many similarities between the default husband, Nate and the military nature of the Brotherhood of Steel. I also like the (spoiler) moral obligation to address the fact that Danse is the one thing he hates above all else. It really interesting to contemplate. I really wish Bethesda would have finished his story arch though, but at the same time it leaves SOOOO much speculation to fanfic writers which is kinda neat!
Alrighty! I think that’s about it, Thank you once again for the ask and I hope I can start doing these a little bit more often!
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