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kates-cosmos · 11 months

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My experience with Analog Horror/ARGs and why you should check them out

Marble Hornets: the classic, and a big favorite of mine for obvious reasons. I cannot stress enough how good and spooky that series is, and the ToTheArk videos gave me nightmares, love it! <3

If you're into Slenderman stories, you should definitely check it out. The acting is very well done and the story is awesome overall :)

The Sun Vanished: the ARG that started my interest for ARGs, and especially enigmas/internet puzzles. Unfortunately I was not smart enough to figure the stuff out by myself, so I just watched explanations on it. Highly recommended if you like post-apocalyptic settings and subtle horror.

The Mandela Catalogue: possibly the series that brought back my interest for these things. I have only watched the first two seasons of it, as I sadly lost interest after a while, but from what I have watched, I would recommend it to those of you who like horror with religious themes (which is a big thing for me) and most importantly, trust issues. Do keep in mind this series deals with more serious and dark topics, though you have probably heard it already.

Local58: the analog horror of all analog horrors, Local58 barged in before TMC took the spotlight. There is so much going on and all of it is very interesting and scary. America's pride leads to its doom, the moon can control electronic devices, and weird creatures spread through the world. If you like stories that leave you not understanding what the hell just happened but loving it anyway, you will love Local58.

Rocket Archives: A single-video series that has unfortunately been taken down for reasons I am not certain of. But if you're curious what it was about, the video presented a reality where us humans were forced to leave Earth with how hot it was getting, and moved to contained bubbles in space. Suddenly, uh oh! The sun's getting closer! Outer Wilds moment! Everything is melting! Humans are gone and the sun is... alive???

Analog Archives: made by the creator of Rocket Archives, has also been taken down but can still be found re-uploaded. The series is slightly similar to Local58, as in it also focuses on broadcast hijacking used for ending off humans. The series also includes a few religious topics that can get very dark. I love it. "Nature Show" makes me tear up with fear every time.

Gemini Home Entertainment: ALL-TIME FAVORITE MOMENT!!! I don't think I need to explain why I love this one so much. GHE leaves a lot to your imagination/speculation, while also twisting your head directly into the direction of the threat and forcing you to look at it while you squirm in fear. GHE is subtle in the most obvious way, obvious in the most subtle way, and most importantly, IT'S COSMIC HORROR, BABY!!! THERE IS A PLANET IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM THAT GOT HERE UNINVITED AND NOW IT WANTS TO EAT US!!! UGHHHH I can't put in words why I think it's so good, it just is. Watch it. The Gardeners are cute, I swear. There's even a plush of them.

Monument Mythos: something something alternate realities, something something time loops. I have not watched all of it, barely even half, but I deemed it a little bit too confusing for my brain. BUT! If you're into things that boogle your mind, you might really like this series! I mean, world monuments are alive, what could be scarier?

Vita Carnis: EW. (affectionate)

But, seriously, if you like gross, you are certainly going to like this series. It's meat, and it's alive. Although, I did stop watching it because it got a tad too graphic and violent for my taste, but if that doesn't bother you, then I recommend it a lot! The editing is soooo good, and some of the creatures are very likable and cute ^v^ (the others are gross and I do not want them near me I do not WANT FUCK OFF)

Don't Look at the Moon: Minecraft spooky. Do I need to say more?

#katesaysthings #analog horror #arg #marble hornets #the sun vanished #local 58 #the mandela catalogue #rocket archives #analog archives #gemini home entertainment #monument mythos #vita carnis #don't look at the moon

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twitteringthings · 3 months

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Who the Heck is This Izumi Chick?!

Besides just being the club mama….

First off, she seems like a kind person and as Kamiya stated, definitely not suited to be wrapped up in the Yakuza-girly lifestyle. I'm going to throw out a few speculations as to what her relationship to Doumeki could be and her importance to the plot. These ideas are based off of theories I have read and my own thoughts/interpretations :)

Doumeki's confidant/friend This does seem out of character for Doumeki but I'll list it as a possibility anyway. Maybe they're just friends and he confides in her about emotional things, his past?. Maybe she knows about everything that happened four years ago. She seems to know things about Doumeki that other characters don't. Like how she seemed confused when Kamiya referred to Doumeki as her boyfriend in Ch. 54. Not to mention that Kamiya says "He's always going over to your house" now I know D doesn't like sex that much, lol - at least with people who aren't Y. And he did mention he usually takes care of that himself. Think about it, if they were just sleeping together or in a relationship, there wouldn't be so much ambiguity surrounding their association with each other - Sensei has ofc done this purposefully! She wouldn't be acting so "weird" about it, if you ask me. Maybe she knows Aoi or helps D keep tabs on his family and gets money to them. idk idk idk, ahhhh! OOOO maybe when after kamiya left and izumi repeated to herself his words, "Not suited, huh." It was something she heard before from someone - D maybe? what could this meannn. What other reason could D have for visiting her all of the time? Do you think she's seen him smile? That would be adorable if it was a friendship. It would definitely be nice, but this is my theory that I think is the most off and doesn't fit the plot/characters. womp womp.

Secret tattoo Artist Not very likely Imo, I feel like a person would have come to the house (I'm not familiar with where irezumi is normally done in the yakuza) to do D's tattoo or he would go to the same person who did Tsukanawa's. I'm not sure if he got the tattoo after he saved Niki - I'm pretty sure he did - but maybe Tsukanawa and the others suggested he get one after his noble feat? Like an emblem. Maybe Tsukanawa offered to pay for it? Also, I saw a post on here that said D's tattoo didn't look finished yet, but I disagree. If that were so, I think Y would have mentioned it or something - or maybe it would be more obvious to the reader that it is still in progress. Y just says, "he went and got a back tattoo" and not something like "The idiot's got a half-baked tattoo on his back." AND if she did tattoos, I'm sure it wouldn't be a secret to everyone else. AND if the reason D was over her apartment all of the time was because of his tattoo that wouldn't make sense because you need time to heal between sessions and his back would be protected with something if he was.

Sex Buddy (turned friend) I could definitely see D attempting to get over Y in some way over the 4 years they were apart - albeit clinging onto hope that one day - somehow - they would reconnect. And during that period, I can imagine him experimenting with another person to "get over" Y (as if) or just to explore his own sexuality in a healthy way - especially as he matured and formed his own identity separate from Y. Maybe it started as sex, and they became friends? I still don't know though, because he is so terrified of being a rapist like his dad with Y, so it's also hard to imagine him - pardon my language - dominating a woman like that. Especially if what happened with Aoi still lingers in his mind. Even though Y tried to comfort him I'm sure he still feels the guilt. Saving Niki may have helped his guilt though - finally being able to successfully protect someone he cares for. ALSO, D denies having a woman when asked by Tsukanawa several times, but when Y assumes he has a woman during their encounter in Ch. 46 he confirms that he does. which is it Doumeki? Sounds suspicious to me. And it's not as if he is too shy to tell his boss that he has a woman, I mean he told Tsukanawa about his jerking off habits soooo.... I think he said this to make Y jealous - he was even looking away from Y with his head hung down as he answered the question...

Plot Driver Assuming my first theory to be true: Maybe something happens with the yakuza plot to where D is in a really bad situation (about the money he stole, Misumi, involvement with Y, disobeying Tsukanawa, current group drama, etc) and Izumi is the one to offer up crucial information about his past that ends up helping him?

A query... In Ch. 46 Izumi asks Kamiya not to spread around rumors of her and D's assumed relationship status because it might cause trouble. My question is why? What kind of trouble? Why would them dating be an issue? Thoughts?

Please share your thoughts also! And be well people <3

Disclaimer: These are purely my own ideas/theories/opinions, and they are all most likely incorrect lol. I'm just having fun speculating about what's to come :D

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #doumeki x yashiro #yaoi bl #doumeki chikara #yashiro #saezuru fandom #saezuru predictions #saezuru #manga #yaoi #yaoi manga #yoneda kou #saezuru feels #yaoi recommendation #saezuru spoilers #saezuru funny

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blondiest · 9 months

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The year is 2009. The month? August. The day...? I'm so glad you asked. It's the 24th. Birthday of the specialest boy in the whole world (Near. Obviously.)

Near HIMSELF doesn't actually do anything for it, sadly. He's on that grind working with the SPK. No time. Although maybe he makes Rester go pick up a fancy lego set he's had his eyes on for a while. Still, he doesn't actually celebrate — no one there knows it's his birthday, and that's how he would prefer it. He doesn't want anyone to fuss.

HOWEVER. Across the country. In the state of California. In the city of Los Angeles. Sitting on a zebra-print couch inside a highly secret mafia base. Mello is acutely aware that it's Near's birthday. And he's annoyed as all fuck that he's acutely aware of it. Near probably doesn't remember when it's HIS birthday, and he doesn't WANT to remember that it's Near's birthday, but here he is, remembering that it's Near's goddamn birthday.

Still, he's busy, too. All his mafia shit. Collecting evidence (and stealing it from Near through Ratt). Et cetera et cetera. So he manages to keep his mind off of it. For the most part, anyway. But then eventually it gets kinda late, and he's done the things that he can do for the day, so he's about to head back to his apartment. But one of the mafia guys invites him to drink with them.

Normally he says no. Mostly because he doesn't really want to be intoxicated / compromised in front of people that he doesn't really want to have info on him. However. Going back to his apartment alone sounds kind of wretched. So this time he joins them. Except Mello has an absolutely terrible understanding of his own limits / tolerance level so he gets completely blackout drunk :/

I'm imagining he has, like, a place he sleeps in the mafia base sometimes when he doesn't feel like driving back to his apartment (like if he stays late enough that there's not a point). So he wakes up. Horrible hangover. Wretched. He tries to remember the events of the night before; nothing past his third drink (<- a lightweight). He checks his cell phone; he made three calls to Ratt, two of which lasted less than ten seconds and the third of which lasted two minutes. This immediately sets off alarm bells in his head. He's panicking.

So Mello gets dressed and drags himself out of his shitty little makeshift bedroom and starts subtly asking around for what happened the night before. Several of the men are super evasive about it, but after a few well-placed threats, someone finally reveals that he disappeared for thirty minutes and came back with a box that he INSISTED needed to go to the post office first thing in the morning.

Huge wave of cold dread. He asks if the box has already been mailed. The guy is like. Well. Yeah. It's one in the afternoon. You told us to ship it first thing. So it's gone.

Mello is in shambles over this. He starts frantically searching his little makeshift bedroom for clues of what the hell he might have sent Near. In the garbage can he finds a crumpled-up and half-legible lovehate letter. He can't read all of it— some of the handwriting is atrociously messy, other parts a bit smeared— but what he can make out is damning. There are, like, three full sentences about Near's eyes. One of the sentences describes them as "bug-like," which isn't so embarrassing for him, but the other two use words like "captivating" and "enigmatic" and, bafflingly, "celestial."

((a bit ns // fw [not explicit, just suggestive] under the cut))

In addition to waxing poetic about Near's appearance, there's an entire paragraph of him speculating on what Near would be like in bed (the words "clumsy" and "squeaky" and "lousy" all make appearances). That's not great— he doesn't really want to sexually harass / insult his lifelong rival via snail mail, regardless of how celestial his eyes are— but the next paragraph is worse.

Paragraph is a generous description— it's just one very long run on sentence. Don't worry though it's okay you're a weird awkward virgin who would give really bad head I still love you think you're cute and youcould probably learn because I could teach you stuff and as long as you listen to me you'll be fine <- only HALF of the sentence from hell.

Anyways. For a second he's like well, it's here in the trash, so I guess I didn't send it, but it pretty much immediately occurs to him that the one in the trash was a draft, because notably something still did get sent to Near. It's weird that he used a box, but then, he was pretty fucking drunk, and he probably just used whatever was lying around. He goes through the five stages of grief plus three secret additional stages (which are all just him screaming into a pillow, but with varying degrees of anguish / rage / mortification) and then just. Hopes that the letter gets lost in the mail. Tries to forget about the whole thing. Moves on with his life.

A week later, in New York City, Rester brings a package to Near. They don't get packages— anything they receive from the US Government is hand-delivered by someone with clearance, and they always have a heads-up that someone's coming. The box has already been opened— Rester had someone screen it first, had it scanned via x-ray and then opened by someone dressed in head-to-toe biohazard gear in case there was anthrax inside. There wasn't. Rester tells him there's no return address and no name of the sender. Inside the box is a single disposable camera.

Near immediately knows that there is no one it could be from but Mello— no one else who could have figured out where he was. It looks like Mello's handwriting on the box, too, though it's honestly pretty messy, even for him. He doesn't know what could be on the camera, but he presumes it's got to be sensitive information.

He tells Rester he needs the film developed. Emphasizes how important the contents of the camera are to him. It's essential that not a single photo is lost. Rester nods, disappears. Comes back like five hours later with an expression of subdued bemusement. Hands Near an envelope with the photos in it. Looks like he's going to say something, but doesn't. Leaves.

Near opens the envelope. Inside are 30 separate photos of Mello. Most of them don't show any of his face. All of them were taken with flash on. All in front of a mirror.

All shirtless.

He puts the photos back in the envelope and tucks the envelope into his shirt and goes back to work. His face feels hot for a long time after. Distantly he feels disappointed that he can't ask Mello why he went to all the trouble of tracking Near down just to send something like that, but he can't ask his employees to spend their time trying to track Mello down in return for such a trivial personal matter.

Things proceed more or less as they do in canon. Mello kidnaps the NPA director, then Sayu, gets the notebook, kills Ratt and several more members of the SPK, loses the notebook, blows up the mafia base, drags his burnt-to-a-crisp ass to New York, finds Halle. He wants to ask her if Near got a letter a few months back, but he decides against it, because he doesn't want to show his hand. After all, there's a chance it got lost in the mail, or a chance he didn't sign it (though Near would undoubtedly recognize the sender as Mello just by the contents of the letter, and the fact that the letter reached him at all). He's trying to hold onto the possibility that he did not, in fact, send a deranged, multi-page, sexually explicit and obsessive letter to Near. He has to hold onto that hope.

Except when he goes to get the photo he left at the orphanage from Near, there's a weird vibe. A vibe that he can't help but feel is unrelated to him holding Halle at gunpoint and also pointing his gun at Near. The blonde guy that works for Near is giving him an especially judgmental look. Mello gets his photo and gives Near a bit of info and gets the fuck out, but he's haunted for the rest of the day by the knowledge that yes, Near totally got that fucking letter.

So he writes another letter. Makes it EXTREMELY clear that all of the things he said about Near's eyes being captivating and celestial were JOKES, and that he DOESN'T want to fuck Near and is not in love with him. Gives the letter to Halle to give to Near with express instructions not to open it herself. She agrees, takes it to Near.

Near opens the letter from Mello. Right off the bat, he's confused, because this letter mentions a previous letter, and Near never got a previous letter. The box only had the disposable camera in it. That was it. As he continues reading, the bafflement only increases.

By the end of the letter, Near's mind is scrambled, but he has little doubt what he needs to do.

He asks Halle to call Mello and ask him to come back to headquarters. They have some things to talk about.

sorry this is left open ended i simply don't feel like finishing it. please just assume they work things out and fuck nasty. thanks 🥰

#meronia #mellonear #FILE UNDER: POSTS I MADE IN AN ATTEMPT TO STOP MYSELF FROM STARTING A NEW FIC THAT GOT LONGER THAN THEY SHOULDVE #i will eventually write this tho #<- girl who says that a lot #blondiepost

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hopetorun · 3 months

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i'd love to hear your beliefs about the tension in their relationship because i'm a very nosy bitch but obviously only if you feel like it!

lol well i did offer! beliefs is a strong word, tbh. more of a like ... is this stuff true? i don't know. but if i were writing a story where i wanted to have tension in that relationship, these are the places i would be inclined to introduce that tension. maybe there is tension in some of these places in real life! that's none of my beeswax.*

anyway: some places i think it is plausible that there's tension in the relationship, or at least plausible enough to play with in fiction. receipts on these where i can find them, sorry if they're paywalled but them's the breaks.

*unless they make it part of their public narrative

back in 2022 matthew was on the athletic hockey podcast and he talked about feeling "like a babysitter" when keith visits and how much keith enjoys being one of the guys. now mostly i think they probably have a pretty good time, but babysitter is a word choice there. i don't think it's a stretch to imagine that having your retired dad show up at your workplace and becoming the life of the party to relive his glory days could be ... trying.

not to beat around the bush but they're both opinionated guys! opinionated and chatty! and as a result you get: keith slamming the panthers on the radio. matthew sticking his nose into brady's contract negotiations (brady being grimace emoji about it). like, we know for a fact that the radio thing bothered matthew! and there's plenty of opportunities for one or both of them to offer unsolicited opinions that don't go over well.

to the previous point: i considered not including that because it's not as speculative as the others on the list. but it's definitely something i'd draw on if i was writing a story where their relationship is tense.

look, i'm not a man and not only am i not a man but i don't have any brothers and my dad died four and a half years ago and he never talked about his dad. so i can't claim to be an expert on the fathers-and-sons relationship dynamic. but why would i let that stop me from speculating wildly!

anyway: legacies. oldest sons. expectations. @ohtemporas touched on this briefly earlier, the way there's often an extra pressure on the oldest kid to be the same-gender-parent's legacy. do what i did. represent me well in the world. and i don't think it's even particularly weird for that to potentially lead to some conflicting feelings if all that legacy building leads to you being surpassed in some way. that's just human! especially for competitive people, and as i have said on this website before: no one becomes a professional athlete without being competitive.

here's keith being presented with matthew's 99th point puck from the 21-22 season, which his then-teammate did up with the writing for this specific purpose. chantal thinks this is SO funny. do think maybe being conflicted about being surpassed makes him not proud of matthew? no. but people can be complicated.

speaking of people being complicated: that one post-game after matthew scored 5 points on the blues. i think the tension between keith wanting his own team's success and wanting his sons' success isn't something people were making up out of whole cloth. but maybe it was especially noticeable when matthew was still in the western conference? i feel like it got dialed back after the trade. lol.

i'm mentioning it only because otherwise someone else might: i don't care about the hat thing. i think it's silly. if i was asked to throw my favorite hat onto the ice at an nhl game just because some schlub scored three goals i probably wouldn't.

a few concluding thoughts

i don't think any of this means they have a bad relationship! mostly i think that no two people have a perfect relationship where they agree on everything and never butt into each other's business uninvited and never hurt each other's feelings, because that's impossible.

i'm not making some counterpoint list of all the reasons i think they love each other. someone else can. i don't think having high expectations of someone means you hate them and i don't think anyone spends their time and money following their son's hockey team around the country on a road trip hoping to see him score his 100th point out of hatred or spite.

maybe i'm wrong about all of this and they've hated each other since 2002 and someday we'll get a tell-all story and people can come into my ask box or whatever and tell me how wrong i was. i don't care. all rpf characterization is fake. i watched keith froth at the mouth in the stands at the 2016 wjc every time someone so much as breathed on matthew, though, so i don't think i'm wrong.

#ask maggie #matthew tkachuk

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bcacstuff · 9 months

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Good morning Bcacstuff, first I want to say that I love your blog because it is factual and honest. You share your opinions without being ugly. I saw my pictures on your post last night responding to the anon that stated Sam smiles more with thin blondes than others. I’m not sure how I feel about being an example of a big fat middles aged woman that Sam may or may not have smiled with. Looks kind of in between to me like an I am exhausted smile can’t wait until Austin is done. I shared on Twitter because there are other fans that mutually follow and we are social media “friends”. While I didn’t see any overly negative comments on your blog, I feel open the ridicule because people on Tumbler tend to be more negatively vocal about Sam’s fans. I’m not a shipper or a mommy or someone that follows him around the globe at no expense. I’m just a girl that lives near Dallas that had the opportunity to see him for the cost of gas, a hotel room for the night and a bottle of gin. The little statue by the way is from the Thistle and Roses chess set mad by Beneagles whisky out of Scotland back in the 1970s. That piece is Robert the Bruce. More than likely, it will end up in the trash somewhere but for my part as the giver, I put thought and heart into it. I think I would prefer that you take my picture off your blog. I know that I look a ridiculous sight and would be very hurt to read judgmental comments. Thank you.

Hi, @weebuddycat I want to thank you for your message here and perhaps try to set some things straight. Thank you for the appreciation for my blog. I always try to be as honest and factual as I can, and be clear about where it concerns speculations. I receive a lot of Anons, I can't even post a good amount of them, and don't even want to post a good number either. I do not necessarily agree with the ones I post and sometimes even flat out disagree. I try to keep my wording as respectful as I can, or just stay in the neutral. I keep an eye on the comments, as I do want my commenters to stay respectful as well, towards each other, towards people in the pics I post, and towards myself as well. On some very incidental occasions I might contact the commenter in private and have a small discussion about a comment.

I went back to see, as I was fairly sure I didn't put your picture in the post where this Anon thought he smiled more with skinny blonde fans. I purposely searched out 2 pics from the latest events (one from Houston, one from Chicago) for that post where there was no fan in it and one where there were more people around him. As I didn't even want to put anybody as an 'example' on that post.

To me, and I truly am honest about that, it was in no relation with your picture that I posted in another post with a number of others. I actually hope you would agree to just leave it there, as I think you can and should be proud of it. And anybody with half a brain can imagine standing in line for a long time while it is hot and humid, nobody really would look at their best. Together with that, I say, don't we all look at our own pictures and think ugh.. I wish I had... or something similar. Anyway, to me you look perfectly fine and happy meeting him and gifting the little statue. As do all others.

Yes, someone asked in the comments what that was. And now that you've told us what it actually was (thank you), I think my reply was quite close. I looked at it, and just thought it looked a bit like a knight, and a chess piece and had some association with the chess scenes in Harry Potter. That wasn't meant rude in any way, as well as ending up on his book case shelf, as we've seen a number of times in his home videos that he puts some of the stuff he gets there. Not really sarcasm, if there was any sarcasm in it, it's for what he puts there on the shelf to show when he does these home videos.

Finally, I just want to point out that in the comments of the Anon about him smiling more (or less for that matter). I didn't agree, and I don't think anybody in the comments agreed on it. He's just doing his job, smiling for the picture with the fan. And that's all there is to it.

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utilitycaster · 11 months

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Hi! Feel free to ignore this, of course, but I was wondering, what are your thoughts, if any, on the (seemingly) currently prevalent fandom view on the difference of experiences between Team Bells and Team Hells during their separation?

That is to say, I've seen *a lot* of posts claiming that the party's going to fracture, or at least that there'll be lots of tension because of how much better Team Bells has had it in Wildemount, and I find it, well quite overstated and a bit annoying? Like, yes, comparatively their half was arguably a bit lighter in tone and definitely ended on a much more hopeful note, but it was hardly a weekend trip to the Frozen Wonderland it's sometimes made out to be. Team Bells still spent a week or so trudging through a frozen wilderness and then creepy eldritch ruins of a city, all while not knowing if their friends are alive or dead, with something as fundamental as magic of their world suddenly not working as it should

(I mean, imagine if some of the laws of physics just stopped applying tomorrow. and also physics specifically was responsible for two of your friends being brought back to life/kept alive. also I don’t know very much about physics, can you tell?).

So, thoughts?

(con'td): Sorry, if it wasn't clear in a previous ask, I meant, what are your thoughts on if, and how, the dynamic might change between the two parts of BH post-reunion!

-----

"Overstated and a bit annoying" is a really apt way to put a lot of speculation I dislike, especially like, the "what if my bad whump/angst fic were real but I need the characters to be okay" whole school of thought.

Anyway I don't want to, in response to some of the more melodramatic predictions, understate that Team Wildemount did have a better time of it. They got closure or information on some personal past issues (Chetney and FCG), gained the favor of a political power while also helping Umudara, went to and survived Molaesmyr entirely of their own volition, and learned a lot of useful information about Ludinus while also having some fun romantic encounters. Team Issylra went to a small town, were used by them in a conflict they had no part in just to get information about their friends, and then they were betrayed from within. Like, I don't want to emphasize the extremes, but I don't want to diminish them either.

But with that said I don't think this will drastically introduce conflict on a broad scale because I don't think that the conclusions they came to are terribly different. Ludinus obviously needs to be stopped. The Vanguard obviously need to be stopped.

I think any dynamic shift will hinge on Laudna, who changed most drastically and who will be grappling with her own feelings of guilt and power and may withdraw from some relationships/lean more heavily on Ashton and Orym. I think it's possible just generally some people might lean more heavily on their solstice group rather than their prior relationships, but like, I don't see why Fearne and Orym wouldn't pick up their friendship exactly where they left it. I could be wrong! Dynamics are hard to predict! But I don't think that open fighting or the "Team Issylra will be FERAL and OUT FOR BLOOD" ideas have any basis in the reality of the show.

#answered #muthserra #cr tag

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theneighborhoodwatch · 1 year

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ramble about wally & home's codependent swag. do it. you know you want to /lh

sorry for sitting so long on this one, anon. it's good to let thoughts Ferment sometimes. anyway - [pulls up a chair to sit down on it backwards, facing you]

so, the way i see it: it all comes back to home, yeah? home is not just the house - home is also the name of the town, it is very likely the town itself, and that town may be (as far as we know) the entire world. the very Concept of the home been discussed by clown as a central theme of welcome home a few times on his blog. when i say that home is everything, i do mean everything, and i don't think there's anyone for whom that rings more true than wally.

i know i link back to my older posts a lot, but i swear this one is relevant bc i wanna elaborate on a point that i make in the first half of it: the way i see it (as of the time of this writing) home, in all senses of the word, is wally's top priority. which is not to say that his devotion towards home supersedes everything else, but that everything else sort of feeds back into it by design. the neighbors? they are there to inhabit home. we, the audience? we are there to perceive home and round out its population. the WHRP*? they said it themselves - they're there to make that fucking house a home. home is everything, and in turn, everything is for the sake of preserving home. wally cares for his neighbors, and he cares for Us, but would either of those still be the case if there was no home to preserve? i'm not sure.

there is a catch to this, though. of course there is. wally's identity already seems tied pretty heavily to other people; he learns from his neighbors, and he does so on the audience's behalf. given everything i've written in the above paragraph, this can arguably be an extension of his devotion to home, however genuine those relationships may be in their own right. in other words, home (more specifically the restoration/preservation of home) is not only wally's chief motivation, but as far as he's concerned, the reason he exists at all. i think a lot about these tags that @pretty-in-possible (hope you don't mind the tag) left on a post of mine describing their image of wally:

and i had something very similar in mind. if wally's goal truly is the restoration/preservation of home - in this context, his raison d'être, the basis for his entire sense of self - then i can imagine why he would be willing to follow his original role as closely as he could even 50 years after the end of the original show. i can imagine that outgrowing that role in any capacity would feel like a sin. i can imagine that watching his friends outgrow theirs, or at least express a desire to do so, would seem extremely reckless to him, if not an outright betrayal.

("wait," you might say. "doesn't tampering with the site technically count as him adapting/evolving past his original role as audience surrogate?" "yes 8]" i would say. i would not elaborate, and then we would move on.)

i've mostly been talking about wally's side of things, and the reason for that is mostly that wally is just easier to speculate about. home is such a mystery that some people aren't even sure if they're the same being that was on the original show; i've seen people posit that whatever home is now, it is Not what they were originally, either that they're undead or that they've since become a husk for Something Else to inhabit, or some third thing i'm forgetting. either way, i think it's interesting that as attached as wally is to home, even he doesn't seem to be able to assess whatever their needs are with 100% accuracy - if the duet audio is to be believed, there's at least Some guesswork involved. who's to say that wally isn't just hearing what he wants to hear, at least some of the time?

i wonder - how does home feel about being an Embodiment, not of just the town, but of the very word "home?" are they frustrated with the fact that even wally, their own inhabitant, can never fully understand them, and has become resentful? do they appreciate the effort regardless, but feel a growing impatience gnawing at them day by day? are they apathetic at best towards wally, but need him to fulfill some goal or another, since they're an inanimate building? either way, i can't help but feel that home also relies on wally in some way; perhaps not as heavily as he relies on them, perhaps not in the same way or for the same reasons. but there is something Mutual there, i think.

tl;dr: these two are hurtling towards disaster and i, for one, cannot wait to see every last bit of it. here are two songs that remind me of them every time i hear them, the realization of which is often accompanied by guttural wailing.

* wally doesn't seem to have any strong feelings towards the WHRP team outside of maybe sharing the same motivation as them (i.e. restoration) but this may be because he's either hiding from them and also doesn't seem like the kind of guy to Express negative emotions, or he because he is the WHRP team - we'll see how things shake out.

#anonymous #ask #welcome home #wh speculation #wally darling #home #finally. it's been a while since i've been publicly unwell on this blog

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daughterofthequeen · 7 months

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Im so excited over autistic!reader with dad joel and uncle tommy having a purpose on the outbreak :') It's an interesting concept, and I'm curious to see how joel will manage to be there for his atypical kid while holding the grief of losing his other kid. I feel like tommy will help him on this more than ever. And I feel like these two maybe now will avoid arguing that much like canon, or at least in front of reader.

Some questions tho: how old is reader gonna be? You picture game or show characters? And is it gonna take to long to be posted? **Puppy eyes**

Ahhhh!!! I’m glad you’re excited to read it. We all love a ff speculate especially me cause I am one. When I read fics I’m into the whole storyline, like I wish I could be friends with a lot of my favorite writers on tumblr just to ask about the tiny details I think about in their fics. Because even the tiniest detail can make a story so much more meaningful and heartfelt.

But anyway back to your questions. I picture the hbo tlou but I’m going to have it where you can choose to imagine if you’re Sarah’s full-blooded or half-blooded so you guys can imagine yourselves in the fic. And I know I’m taking a long time to post it, I’M SO SORRY 😭😔I’m working on 4 other fics as well, and I haven’t completely figured out the whole storyline for the fic yet. But because I am taking a while(longer than I thought I would) I’m going to give you guys the opening. The intro to the fic answers your first question too btw.

____________________________________

Joel Miller x autistic!daughter!reader

What started out as a regular day went to hell in the span of a couple hours. I mean homes being set on fire, families separated, innocents slaughtered due to the fear of a sickness they had no cure for. But I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I? Let’s start from the beginning. My name is (Y/n) Miller, and this is the story of how everything went to shit.

I was only 4.

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ladedanixie · 7 months

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Blitz's Timeline

So I made a twitter thread the other day about my take on Blitz's timeline, which starts from Blitz's first meeting with Stolas to when he Stole the book. It's based on what little bits of canon information we've gotten thus far. Here's a link: tada

But I wanted to make a longer post about it because while this timeline is based on canon, some of its positioning on the line is based on my speculation. And other points are just pure speculation and not canon. I wanted to share my reasoning then, but the twitter thread would have been too long if I shared there. So, I'm going to do it here.

I am going to transcribe each point on the line, and add my reasoning beneath it. I will make a note of when its canon and what is just my own theories. I will also go into depth with my theories. And there are multiple, so be warned this will be long.

More under the cut.

2 Blue Hearts = Blitz meets Stolas for the first time.

Canon! As shown in Season 2 Episode 1 The Circus.

2. Green X = Mammon's Concert and possibly Fizz getting scouted by Mammon.

Now the next episode involves Mammon called Mammon's Magnificent Musical Mid-Season Special. And it is safe to assume from what canon we have---from the show itself, and the season two trailer---that this more than likely takes place during Blitz's adolescence.

Pictured: Fizz and Blitz as teens embracing one another. They are both wearing Mammon merch.

Thanks to The Circus and Oops, we can safely assume this concert took place before the accident. And thanks to Ozzie's, which is where I got this image, we know Blitz and Fizz went to a Mammon concert as teens.

As for my theory. I theorize that around this same time Fizz got scouted by Mammon. The trailer has this image:

Pictured: Fizzarolli and Blitz in clown garb. (possibly from the Mid-Season Special)

Moreover they seem to be on friendly terms. Thus, this image could take place during their teens. I imagine Fizz is excitedly talking about Mammon or the opportunity to meet him. My reasoning for this lies with the background in the image above, while lacking detail, the lines imply a hallway, or passage way. Then again, the Mid-Season Special could simply be the contest that Fizz mentioned in Oops. But, that does not rule out the possibility of a flashback sequence. That and I doubt the Blitz of now would dress as a clown again without a good reason i.e. a job.

Fizz seems excited but in the next frame, Blitz seems to express doubt or misgivings.

Pictured: Fizz looking at Blitz curiously. Blitz is looking away, with an uncertain or nervous expression on his face.

If my theory proves correct, we can also assume that Mammon scouting Fizz contributed to Blitz's actions the night of the accident. If he already felt as though he weren't good enough for Fizz, he'd feel even less so after Mammon scouting Fizz. (People cite his father gifting Fizz a Wish You Were My Son card as to why Blitz acted the way he did. But from Blitz's perspective, you see the card but not the text on its front as it was facing away from Blitz. The text contributed to Fizz's understanding of events. Not Blitz's.)

Either that or, going into the "they" that kept Blitz and Fizz apart. Perhaps Mammon did scout Fizz, but Blitz maybe auditioned as well and Fizz asserted that the two were a package deal. Referring back to the images above, that could possibly be the subject of their conversation: an audition for Mammon.

Blitz always feels as though he ruins people's lives, and perhaps that sentiment didn't start with the accident but with Mammon turning Fizz away for standing up for Blitz, which would set up a theme of how pulling away makes things worse not Blitz himself. Moreover, it could explain part of why Blitz hates royal demons so much. Mammon.

Anyway that's my reasoning for adding "fizz gets scouted" to this part of the timeline.

3. Pink Square = The Fire.

The Fire refers to the accident as shown in Oops.

4. Purple Half Moon = Barbie leaves/ Blitz tries to contact Fizz.

I put these two together because I imagine one happened right after the other.

Blitz is confirmed to have attempted to contact Fizz in Oops, claiming "I tried. You were all I had left, Fizz. But they said You didn't want to see me." in response to Fizz asking why he didn't come to see him.

I cite this same line for the other half of this timeline point: Barbie leaves. After the accident, and the loss of their mother, Barbie more than likely abandoned Blitz altogether. He probably confessed to her his role in the fire, and despite knowing it was an accident, she left. Another possibility is that Cash got to her first, having spoken to the imp who was holding the birthday cake, he then defamed Blitz to anyone who would listen, including Barbie. Hence why Blitz claimed that Fizz was all he had left.

5. 2 orange dots in a box = college

This is speculation supported by a single joke line in Season 1 Episode 6, Truth Seekers: "in the college I dropped out of."

But this is Helluva Boss and as Season 2 has shown us with Moxxie and his father, what we once thought were throw away joke lines were in fact foreshadowing/character background.

So it is safe to assume Blitz really did attend college and dropped out. That and he did some wild shit in college, which leads to the next few timeline points.

6. Orange Circle = Dropout

See #5.

7. Pink Heart = Blitz meets Verosika.

Now before I go into my reasoning, I'd like to acknowledge that I totally forgot to add Blitz's job at Loo Loo Land. But, I'd to correct that here and say that I believe that job occurred before his falling out with Verosika. I don't have much canonical evidence to support this claim other than the fact that Robo Fizz didn't know that Blitz was good with guns prior to Season 1 Episode 2. There is also Verosika mentioning that Tex was better at his job [as a bodyguard] than Blitz, implying that Blitz once occupied that role. Which is most likely how Blitz discovered that he was good at guns (Season 1 Episode 3: Spring Broken).

With that done, on to Blitz meets Verosika.

Going off of his claim that he "took a fuck ton of tranquilizers in the college that [he] dropped out of." Blitz was most likely a party animal. Something that is supported by the imp that recognized him in the episode Queen Bee, who went on to say "Fuck man where you been? You here for the party?" This implies that Blitz was often at parties. And that he was often the life of the party as evidenced by this line, "Come in and show us all up again."

Why is this relevant? Because of this image from Ozzie's:

Pictured: Blitz and Verosika embracing and posing for a picture.

This was on Blitz's phone. But the important bit is Blitz, namely the heavy bags under his eyes. I think Blitz was at his lowest here. Not because of Verosika but because a combination of things not least of which the loss of his family and best friend. I think Blitz did everything he could for the barest amount of approval and to forget how bad his life was. Something we catch a glimspe of in Queen Bee. This is how Verosika comes in. As a popstar , I imagine she frequented many parties. And as an alcoholic, I don't think she would have done much to curb Blitz's drinking or intake of drugs.

Now I don't believe Blitz had an addiction, at least not as of right now, but I do believe Blitz got worse during this time. Which leads me to the next point.

8. Orange Asterisk = Blitz and Verosika Break Up/ Barbie goes to rehab.

I am not going to go much into the first half of this point as Spring Broken tells us exactly how these two fell out. To be honest, I think he did that at his absolute lowest, probably after Verosika attempting to be vulnerable with him one too many times. I have no evidence for that other than the implications of her Blitzo tattoo and Blitz's drug trip in Truth Seekers. All of which point to her having had actual affection for Blitz, enough for him to recognize he pushed her away before she could get too close. And he actually liked her back, why else would he keep that photo of them.

Anyway, this goes into the second half: Barbie goes to Rehab. In Spring Broken, Verosika tells Blitz that rehab is "for sad loser wash ups" like Blitz's sister. This tells the audience Barbie was famous at one point, and possibly successful. Moreover, it tells us she knew Barbie. But it does not tell us how. I don't Blitz would have volunteered that information, thus, either she met her while they were dating, or she met her in rehab and learned Blitz was her brother then.

I don't have evidence for this, but I think that part of why Blitz met Verosika was because he was trying to find Barbie. It is implied in Unhappy Campers that Blitz would constantly insert himself into Barbie's life, such as breaking into the rehab center she was at. It is also implied that Blitz had a part in ruining her life, but there is no clarification as to how he did that. We can infer that the accident is the main reason, but maybe there's more. I doubt it though. I'd like to say that Barbie maybe let Blitz back in during his time with Verosika. And they partied together until things went south. But, considering Barbie's animosity toward Blitz, and Blitz's knowledge of the drug Barbie once used, I think he just constantly tried to help, but his presence just reminded her of what she lost, or he'd constantly fuck up. Either way, I wouldn't be surprised if the breakup occurred after Barbie went to rehab. I could be wrong.

This is getting too long, so I'll continue this in a second post here.

#helluva boss #blitzø #blitz timeline #theory #long post #part 1 of 2 #blitz #helluva blitzo

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jessaerys · 1 year

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I think what gets me about the popularity of mattmello as a ship historically tied to the late 00s early 2010s is that by virtue of how little background we get from the source material it is almost entirely based on 1. aesthetics and 2. speculation/fanon

which like i understand (very common phenomenon. remember jeanmarco) and i am definitely not immune to fall out boy looking ass anime boys (specially at the time when i would’ve been like 14-16) but imo it is categorically the kind of engagement with a source material thats akin to me to like. coffee shop aus. more about coming in with pre-established tropes you enjoy and assigning them to blorbos than truly intellectually engaging with what makes the characters compelling in the first place within the narrative. which is a perfectly valid way to engage with fandom its just very boring to me

so like coming into the second half of death note for the very first time in my late 20s and having this wealth of more than a decade of fanworks to explore just makes mattmello so funny and absolutely baffling to me because on the one hand you have what is this very sharply written unique set up for this lopsided rivalry ripe with intense freudian issues and sexual tension in which both characters are bizarrely obsessed with each other. whatever crack cocaine they put in that one control room scene. yes yes the picture of you i keep on me at all times. dear mello. near threatening death note murder-suicide at the drop of a hat. the fascinating narrative cycle of juxtaposing a new generation of genius minds that mirrors light & l, separation by death but this time by working with each other rather than against each other, the triumph and tragedy of sacrifice in the name of the greater good, the endless ramifications of being shaped together and against each other for a specific purpose. one of them was always doomed from the beginning and it was never in his hands! it didn't have to be this way but it always was going to. something something about the inevitable downfall of intellectual twin flames.

and on the other hand you have 60 second best friend anime boy who admittedly races cars and smokes cigarettes. which. to be totally fair. is pretty much two of the sexiest activities an anime boy can do. but my point remains

anyway you may think i am relitigating decades long shipping discourse but my actual real thesis for this whole post IS that i would bet real life money that 00s yaoi history would’ve gone down DRASTICALLY different if near had looked a bit more like a slut. literally. imagine if his character design was, like, a tattered wifebeater and some spiky silver chains. thumb rings. white shirt draped around his elbows (i also think this would solve 80% of the shallow "near is just a secondhand L" takes but this post is already too long)

anyway, tl;dr society if near had shown some shoulder

#sorry to see and percieve the truth but i am right #death note #brothercrush.txt

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eversplode · 1 year

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hello rain world tumblr. in my rain world fic, Taking the High Road, i accidentally created a conlang for scavengers. whoopsie.

that is not what im here to discuss, however. see, as a story about a slugcat and a scavenger traveling together, it was inevitable that the slugcat would start trying to learn 'scavengese.'

so i decided "scavs are basically humans so they can make all the sounds humans can, but scugs are like. cats. so they probably cant make all the sounds. how do i do that."

after about 20 seconds of consideration, i decided to try pronouncing my scavengese words without using my tongue, and just writing the sound that i made. it was quick, it was easy, and hey, it definitely wouldn't come up much (lie).

an innocent comment on my fic asking "hey how do you decide what scugs can and cant say" has sent my into a shower thought-fueled speculative biology session to retroactively justify my decisions. so, i'm gonna put that here, because someone will probably find it as interesting as me. anyway.

(tl;dr, click here for some speculative biology on how slugcat language works)

so, let us start with the basis for scug language, which is two facts: one, scugs are, at their core, moist cats which have evolved to the point of developing culture and language, and two, they go "wawawa." why do they go wawawa? because the entire community agreed on it and also I Said So. so how do we build a language around this?

so as we all know, cat language isn't language as we understand it. cats don't use words, they use stuff like purring and hissing and non-verbal cues. so, if cats suddenly constructed their own society like it was a Thing To Do, their language would probably involve those same things. so basically, natural slugcat language involves mostly non-verbal cues and sounds that humans cant make.

so now we come to the second part: why does rivulet go "wawawa" when they "talk" with moon?

well, my theory is that scugs have very immobile tongues and no teeth. bear with me here.

slugs, yknow, the base of slugcats other than cats, dont have tongues. they have a thing called a radula, which as far as i can tell, is basically a tonguelike thing covered in very small teeth. now, correct me if im wrong, but you probably wouldnt want a spiky meat sack flailing around your mouth, like we do with tongues.

also, look at scugs diet. theyre herbivores and insectivores, most of them being unable to eat meat (i imagine centipede flesh is quite soft once you get past the exoskeleton). the only scugs that can eat meat are hunter, artificer, gourmand, and spearmaster. three of these are genetically modified, hunter being specifically created to be a powerful warrior, spearmaster being... spearmaster, and artificer being the only scug with claws and also being able to Spontaneously Explode For Mobility.

gourmand is a special case, being yknow, a gourmand. they can eat meat from lizards and such, however it gives only half the pips of other meat eaters. this says to me that their system isnt built to handle meat, and they can only eat specific parts of these creatures. this is probably true of all slugcats, its just that gourmand has experience is what parts can and cant be eaten, them being the gourmand.

anyway my point here is, slugcats cant eat hard foods. think about what they eat. blue fruit is a bug chrysalis and therefore full of goo, bubble fruit seem to be made of some kind of gel, popcorn is popcorn, slime mold is slime, ect. ect. in the case of gooieducks, scugs have to rip off the hard casing in order to eat them. scugs are made to eat soft foods and liquids. so, they probably dont have teeth. or, if they do, they are affixed to their tongue, and previously discussed.

so why am i discussing scug diets in this post about scug language? well you see, dear reader, if scugs dont have lips, how do they hold their food in their mouth? their lips. and what is the main part of your mouth you use to go "wawawa?" thats right, your lips. scug lips are probably the most easy to use mouthpart they have

so, imagine youre ruffles. moon has been talking to you in her weird ancients language to you, which seems to consist entirely of mouth sounds (no throat sounds or non-verbal cues at all! how strange!) you love moon very much and want to make her happy, so you try to mimick her language. you arent used to using your mouth to speak very much, so what do you do? you just start making a sound and flapping your lips. and what sound does that make?

"wawawa."

and THAT, dear friends, is why scugs go wawawa.

#rain world #speculative biology #speculative worldbuilding #slugcat #slugcats #slugcat biology #i spent far too long on this #but its just so fascinating an idea!#also this theory still lets scugs groom their pups with their tongues like cats #cus their tongues are all spiky #makes for a good comb if youre careful

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omgkalyppso · 3 months

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For Étoile/Astarion please:

🍰 What is 'their song'? Officially or unofficially.

🩷 What is the sweetest thing they've done for one another?

🤎 How do they comfort each other?

💋 What is their favorite place to kiss their partner? Do either enjoy 'leaving a mark'?

For Étoile/Halsin please:

🩷 What is the sweetest thing they've done for one another?

🤎 How do they comfort each other?

♪(^∇^*) Thank you for the ask!

Étoile and Astarion

🍰 I'm not sure what officially and unofficially might mean in this context.

A song from their playlist which I wouldn't give them awareness of even in modern fic is Hot Tea by half-alive. Sharing a lyric video because the official video of the song is weird and I am not a fan of the interpretative dance in it fdhtdfghgdf :

youtube

A song I'd be willing to give them awareness of in a modern setting is Wicked Game by Chris Isaak which I'm inspired to take off of Neil's Astarion playlist. It has very strong vibes of one of the last songs played at an event where people are inebriated and tired, swaying slowly; or could just be something that Astarion turns off on a radio for being a little too on the nose; or fits the mood of an intimate scene like the love scene in Dirty Dancing to me. Anyway:

youtube

🩷 <- I can copy and paste this but I can't see this emoji, whatever it is.

I suppose it depends on your definition of sweet, because I imagine I could think up some gifts and surprises, recollections and whatever else. Instead, I'll pick pivotal moments of "sweetness," which I think if I remember right I told some various friends on discord but aren't exactly me repeating myself here.

Raphael's pronouncement of victory is something I hope to one day explore in fic for Étoile. Initially I'd speculated that it could have happened even the very same night as the long rest after the netherbrain, with Astarion's last scene before the credits. But now there's the epilogue and to honour something like it, that means it's at least six months later — I'll probably place it nearer 2 years post-canon, with Raphael's intended return 10 years post-canon.

Étoile's anxiety loses some of it's bite this way, but to re-iterate. They (are and) feel so responsible, and they feel that as a result of this that they are and will be so alone in having to sound out a solution and / or battle plan to face Raphael. They expect that if a solution can be found that this time stopping the person who wields the Crown will demand their life. They won't be able to picture the vampire spawn's recent, precarious alliance, living situation, lifestyle, can handle both their and Astarion's sudden departure. They imagine themself hindered in travel and resources trying to come up with an answer, and Astarion being unable to follow, whether across the Material Plane or at least into Baator, where they don't even know if there's a night-day cycle or whether the fires that burn are ones that a vampire could stand in the presence of. If it's hard for them to admit to all this other shame, it's easy for them to be vulnerable in conversation with Astarion about how they wanted this life with him, with his their people, and how after a few hundred years if it hadn't come up that they would have asked if he'd wanted to turn them, which is as much as a commitment as either of them could make.

Anyway, it's sweet of Astarion to hold back an "I told you so" for more than a week, to reassure Étoile that their people will be fine with the pair of them coming and going because they will have to be, among any other number of reassurances he makes. It is sweet of him to recognize that he could take this as a cue to step away from "an adventurer's" problems (with all the problems of community, politics, lifestyle and "inheritance" that he has had to deal with since the end of the Gate's last disaster) and away from all semblance of "commitment" that had been so alien and chafing and frightful and difficult in this relationship; and instead decide that even this impossible challenge and all the other problems were perhaps just as rewarding (if not moreso) than the domestic rewards — never as an elf nor as a vampire had he ever wanted an unremarkable life.

For Étoile's moment of sweetness, I may have spoken before about how I have dialogue for a "mirror scene" blocked out. I waffle on whether it'll get written not just because I have so many wips, but also because I worry Everyone who writes Astarion has written a mirror scene and so I worry I bring little new to the table. Even so, my mirror scene has Astarion's final moment of "Just tell me I'm beautiful and we can call it a day" result in anger. Astarion whining, exasperated, "It doesn't feel good. Why doesn't it feel good? Is it because I asked?" And this resulting in an extra conversation in the shadow-cursed lands before the hug scene, where part of my blocked dialogue includes the following; they are laying spooned together:

Astarion: [after a breath] When you called me beautiful … it was the first time in two hundred years that it wasn't said by a victim or someone … looking to take advantage. Whose words meant nothing and were … an expectation. Part of a process. An undignified one. It was the first time in two hundred years the word wasn't Cazador's. To call me beautiful while I was flayed open, or bleeding from the mouth, or— [he tenses, not quite ready to cry. Étoile squeezes and slowly takes his hand] Étoile: Your body is your own. [They bring his fingers to their lips for a kiss, Astarion chooses to follow the movement to face them] My words are mine. I don't want to make you feel like that. Astarion: I know. Étoile: [Releases Astarion's hand to put their hand on his chest] I'm glad you know. I want to say these things anyway. [Astarion strokes back some of their hair] I want you to hear them.

And how this scene would fucking fly to the forefront of Étoile's mind in addition to their moments of sexual intimacy during the hug scene. They would have the knee-jerk reaction of those moments having been all lies, of themself and their body being revolting to Astarion for an unknown how-long, until it's more obvious to them that Astarion's point is that these moments weren't as repulsive as they should've been, and far more sincere than he could have stomached without coming forward. It is these moments of communication and respect which endear Astarion to Étoile and earn his shaky trust.

Also shout out to Astarion for being "sweet" enough to travel across four countries with Étoile for them to see their home (and their mother?) one last time with living eyes before vampirism. (Even knowing this was going to be difficult as all hell if Aranea's still living on her mountain.)

🤎 While this is kind of answered in the last emoji, I feel like this is extremely conditional. Étoile needing to be comforted in grief is not the same as them needing to be comforted after being slighted publicly. Astarion needing to be comforted because of the oppressive weight of days of earth overhead in the Underdark is not the same as needing to be comforted because one of his siblings (Violet) trying to kill one another (Yousen). Sometimes it's an embrace and conversation, sometimes it's threatening to eviscerate one's enemies (sometimes it's following through). A lot of the time for them it's space and an invitation of their presence, whether that's a cup of tea or distraction like paperwork / letters / a reminder of life outside of what ails them.

💋 Étoile far prefers to be marked than doing the marking, but that doesn't mean their lovers don't end up with the occasional fading signs of intimacy. Their own most obvious such marks are more permanent even before vampirism anyway, and all from Astarion; scars of bites, technically sources of feeding but also signs of play, on the right side of their neck, on their left breast up close to their breast plate / center of their chest, on the inside of their left thigh. Indicative of Astarion enjoying where he can, or could once pre-vampirism, feel the pulse under their skin loudest. Other such bites didn't scar, and others still were not for feeding and healed even more swiftly. Étoile would say their favorite place to kiss Astarion is his mouth, both for the pleasure of his lips and the danger of his teeth; if needing to select somewhere "more interesting" then in public they'd say at the center of his brow, and in private they'd still flush in embarrassment about how they think it's somehow rude to choose his ass.

Étoile and Halsin

🩷 The sweetest thing Halsin does for Étoile (and Astarion), besides keep them in his heart, is construct an underground shelter (the first of many) in his Moonrise Village to alleviate the burden of the far more numerous population in their care, even by a few bodies, even temporarily.

I repeat myself a lot, but I think Étoile's sweetest gesture to Halsin is near the end of his long life, counselling on what an unlife could be, offering to turn him either within the laws and context of their vampire community or secretly otherwise, with reassurance that they would happily accept him into their home if all beasts and men turned from him as a decree from his Oakfather for the abberation of vampirism, and the sentiment "if I meet you in hell then it's not hell."

Prior to that I think a visit from Étoile (and Astarion) to Halsin's Moonrise Village: an appointment kept despite how others in the Village might be absent on their own adventures or lost to time, would be the sweetest thing in Halsin's biased opinion. Six days travel (twelve both ways) just to see him? Not for healing, nor counsel, nor to take on more people or projects of druidic magic or infrastructure. Not a plight of adventure, not a disappointment for it being just him. Just a visit, to share his company and whatever that entails; when they could have just stayed home, rescheduled until others returned and the visit felt of greater worth.

🤎 I stand by comfort being highly conditional, but I do think Halsin is far more susceptible to words of comfort. Étoile talks to Halsin in the context of faith, while theirs is for Auril and his is for Silvanus. It helps. Étoile is comforted by how earnest Halsin is; he was very critical when they first met, and remains just as free with his criticisms when people lose his respect. There are oceans of time between the moments of Halsin's impatience with Étoile, and there were times where he was more forgiving than he should've been because scenarios were simply beyond his ability to distinguish the kindest path (like with the Crown and Raphael). But even so, Étoile is reassured when Halsin offers comfort or advice, trusting that he would still be straightforward if their grief or embarrassment or frustration was otherwise unworthy of them.

#long post #oc tag: étoile #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #blood tw

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fallout-lou-begas · 2 years

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having made three different comic books now where it’s the main subject, what interests me most about the intersection of transness and the post-apocalypse is the assumption of scarcity of health care, and total breakdown of pharmaceutical production and distribution, basically eliminating trans health care as a given from the process of transitioning

it's already such a common anti-trans talking point that trans-related health care is a frivolous (if not outright wasteful or even degenerate) use of resources, provided only as a polite courtesy. "if it'll make you weirdos happy, fine." the idea that even just hormones are medically necessary is a hard sell, let alone surgery, because it requires rethinking what medically necessary means. No, being deprived of estrogen and a vaginaplasty isn't going to kill a trans woman the same way that being deprived of insulin is going to kill a diabetic.

What makes trans care medically necessary is tied to violence or suicide prevention on the extreme level (because getting clocked can put you at risk of great harm, and whether one remains closeted or not to avoid that harm their dysphoria may be so bad as to cause ideation) but also quality of life on the moderate level (if one assumes that care that would make someone simply happy with themself would be necessary). you basically have to accept the assumption that if somebody wants a surgery or wants hormones, it becomes medically necessary just because they want it. to argue otherwise is to means test peoples’ transness, and is why universal health care applying to all kinds of health care is an issue of body autonomy as well.

The quality of life argument has a lot of overlap with appearance-altering and beautification surgeries in general, which is why they are often classified as "cosmetic* in direct opposition to classifications of other surgeries as "necessary." Being trans and trying to transition surgically is basically a war against your insurance company to move your desired treatments from the former category to the latter on their billing forms.

anyway

I bring this up because there is no health insurance in the post-apocalypse. There are no plastic surgeons with big white offices and florescent lights that you take an hour-and-a-half train up north to see, and the NPCs who exist in Fallout games as a diegetic way to alter your character's appearance mid-game don't count. There are no large drug plants manufacturing estrogen or testosterone on an industrial scale. If I remember right we're already experiencing a not insignificant hormone shortage because of how much of it is manufactured in the Ukraine.

So in a situation like the imagined or speculative post-apocalypse where the complex network of bureaucracies, institutional gatekeeping, pharmaceutical manufacturing and distribution, economics, and highly skilled niche medical labor completely falls apart, to where you can't just book an appointment and get what you need the way you used to even if you wanted to. there’s already in our present day the horror of countless transsexuals who are deprived the care that they need for economic reasons -- that’s a euphemism for them being too poor to afford it, and being punished for that poverty -- but in the imagined post-apocalypse, it’s like, it’s not just that you can’t afford to eat someplace anymore, but that the restaurant is gone because it exploded and now you might never eat the food they served, ever, even if you could afford it. it’s in the imagined post-apocalypse when that old chestnut talking point of trans-related health care being frivolous rears its ugly head

Every possibility of getting facial feminization surgery has been reduced to rubble and ash. So what are you gonna do about it

All of the spironolactone and estrogen has oxidized to uselessness, wherever it is. Oh well, you'll live. It won't kill you, remember, not directly. In this setting, anyway, you have much more immediate survival needs to deal with.

So when I write about trans characters in the post-apocalypse, what I'm writing about and thinking about and exploring is this particular circumstance where I am painfully aware of how fragile, niche, and expendable the things that let me be who I am are. But at the same time, I'm aware that that's a fluffy way to phrase it, right?

let me be who I am

I'd still be me even if I never took estrogen again. It's not like I'd vanish, like in Back to the Future. It’s not like I’d literally revert back to myself at age 22, like some kind of detrans Benjamin Button.

There's so much tension in referring to my hormone regiment as "girl pills" and thinking a lot about wanting breast augmentation in the future just because it'll make me happy because it’ll make me feel sexy, because it does sound frivolous and silly and a little perverted even though it’s very important and feels very vital to me. and post apocalyptic scenarios more than anything else just force me to confront the unfathomable amount of tension in my identity and the way that I both mentally and materially construct it without really giving me any kind of resolution or comfort in it, just a deeper and more necessary understanding. like going down in the cellar to check on the mold growing down there, making sure it's not growing too much. because if i could scrape it off at all myself then there wouldn't be mold down there, would there

#content warnings: suicide mention (i'm fine and safe! it's just mentioned!) and general 'bad trans feelings'#this is a long post copied from a discord conversation where i went long on it so it's pretty extemporaneous #but i wanted to preserve it on my own blog so here it is #louposting #gaysteland

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mamahersh · 2 years

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So I’ve been thinking, and obviously these are thoughts that will probably be expounded upon (potentially) in my final remarks post on Saturday, but I’ve been having some thoughts about JMart again. Condensing some of the previous commentary, the running themes I’ve been struggling with, ect. Perhaps my opinions with change with MAG 200, maybe 200 will only cement them, but hear me out:

TMA is a horror podcast, not a horror/romance podcast. “But mamahersh!” I hear you cry, “no duh! No one ever claimed it was a horror/romance podcast!”

You, imaginary reader, are quite correct.

It’s just odd that the show writer tries so very hard to add romance in the show in S5 just to seemingly set up a final act romantic tragedy. Well, ok, that’s rather disingenuous, as there’s some off handed mentions of Jon and Martin hanging out in S3, and Jon spends like half his time in S4 pining after Martin. But more to the point: all actual romantic developments (except when needed for an important character moment to tie into something tragic later) are off screen. We hear second hand about Melanie and Georgie’s relationship forming, we can make our own assumptions about their closeness based on 158? and 190-192, we hear offhandedly about Jon and Martin’s S3 lunch dates (if I’m not misremembering that tidbit entirely), we can speculate about Jon and Martin’s relationship progressing and that it was a rather significant jump in progress after saving Martin from the Lonely while they sheltered at Daisy’s Safehouse...

I’m mostly trying to get at I think two big things I guess. 1) Jonny is spectacular at horror writing. S1-3, and the statements in S4 are spot on in terms of striking the right balance you need in a campfire story or a personal folktale or a short horror story. He also does a great job at writing long form dramas, what with seeding the clues to how the universe works from the very beginning and challenging the listeners to try and understand what’s going on right along with the main character. Keeping the listeners on their toes as they wait each week with baited breath to find out what’s happening this time to our dear blorbo Jarchivist. However, what he seems to enjoy doing less of, at least in TMA universe, is write “fluff”. He can certainly write soft moments between characters, quite well in fact! There’s a reason S5 has a bajillion animatics from when it was releasing based on the little JMart tidbits we were given. But that’s just it, they were tidbits, and even the patreon and public fluff extras never exceeded 10 mins. Goodness, not to say they should have! But more to the point: it’s quite difficult to write a healthy or even a compelling romance when you don’t have the time or “place” to establish it. which kinda leads into...

2) The reason I keep feeling like the romance between Jon and Martin in S5 is forced is because to some extent it is. There was no development of their relationship on tape, and then when finally do have the time to do so it’s in the literal worst situation imaginable to do so. All of the silly somft moments are eaten away by both the circumstances of Jon and Martin being able to spend all this time together (the literal end of the world and all that’s Good) and their general dispositions towards each other. You don’t keep a relationship healthy or alive by never trusting your partner, or never telling them anything in a way they can understand, or callously talking about trying end every “monster” like them, or never listening to their concerns. These two have always struggled with communicating and the apocalypse just seems to have exacerbated the problems 10 fold. Which, again, horror podcast. Dramatic Tragedy and all that. We are getting their relationship set up for 200, but also because it makes for a good reason that Jon hasn’t just jumped off the deep end yet.

Anyways, I think this nicely consolidates my thoughts on the matter. And just to be clear, I’m sure if Jonny Sims wanted to write full length episodes of sappy office drama I’m sure he could, but in the context of TMA he certainly can’t. Which is perfectly fine outside of suddenly trying to pull a Romeo and Juliet with Jon and Martin as a major B plot running through all of S5.

#tma #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin #jmart #tma meta #long post #I'm going to alienate all (both) of my regular readers with the way I'm going lol #the magnus archives liveblog

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piraticoctopus · 1 year

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Froslass headcanons

Alrighty, here’s a condensed version plus some folklore stuff. (The WIP long version goes into way more detail on certain things because I can't control myself. Hopefully I'll get around to posting it eventually.)

(Sorry about the formatting, but I couldn't get multi-level bullet points to work.)

Solitary-living, mostly nocturnal omnivore with meat as an important part of its diet; Diet shifts to almost fully meat-based during the coldest months; (I like to imagine that “souls”/“life energy” are separate from physical calories; since they can and do also eat actual food)

Tend to inhabit more forested areas, whereas Glalie prefer open habitats; This reduces resource competition between the two

Hunting method: manipulate prey by various means to lure them in, then incapacitate them by draining "life force", body heat, or directly freezing (or some combination)

Employ different tactics based on target, and thus have to be intelligent enough to learn from experience and observation; Some tactics might fall under aggressive mimicry

May alter the terrain to passively direct prey (for example, by making the route of easiest travel lead toward their dens; easiest route is where Froslass wants you to go)

Notable moves learned by level-up: Confuse Ray (since Gen IV), Captivate (from Gen V until its removal from the games in Gen VIII) (note: only works on opposite gender), Draining Kiss (since Gen VI), Will-o-Wisp (since Gen IV) (I just think this one's interesting for an Ice type)

Prey availability varies by proximity to human-inhabited areas; those living closer to humans have more room to be picky (better variety)

Humans (usually) know better than to fall for their tricks, but aren't off the table; Actual documented cases of humans killed by wild Froslass are few, but missing people are often attributed to them anyways

Teeth built for crunching frozen stuff (see wolverines as a real life example); Base Attack and Special Attack are equal, and it has access to Bite, Crunch, and Ice Fang through Snorunt; However, usually rely on Special moves

The way their mouths work means they'd either have to use the middle part of the "mask" like a weird beak, or would have to always bite off to one side or the other

Extra/unfinished food is frozen and kept for later, but will be arranged in an aesthetically pleasing way; They keep durable, non-edible remains to use as decorations

Collect non-food-related items of interest, too, such as rocks or man-made objects

Have an eye for finding beauty in the morbid and grotesque; Understanding of visual balance might make them good at things like flower arranging

Possibly possess some method for detecting thermal energy (heat) (This one is purely speculative and has no basis in canon); Seen in certain snakes and in vampire bats (only mammals to do this!); Physical mechanisms of how it works in animals might align nicely with Ice-type traits (requires heat-sensing organ and surrounding areas to maintain a cooler temperature); The diamond shape on its forehead could function as a heat pit??

Red possibly serves as an attractant of sorts?; Presence of a visually-obvious color is irrelevant if being seen by prey isn’t a bad thing (in fact, if you’re trying to bring prey to you, perhaps it's best if they DO notice you); This possibly conflicts with Snow Cloak? (unless they make themselves completely invisible to hide); Conclusion: 🤷‍♀️

I imagine that they sort of have a “torso”, but that at least the lower half of their body is hollow

Temperament generally calm, level-headed; Introverted but not inherently “shy”

Limited emotional displays and minimal outward expression; Hard to read

Face mostly obscured; Hand over mouth is a common pose, which hides it further

Capable of feeling emotion, just don’t tend to show it (there’s no need to do so if solitary, and doing so may even be detrimental)

Solitary traits impact their social behaviors: Generally bad at communicating, prefer to avoid conflict when possible, likely to stay quiet when upset

Cohabiting with others can be hit-or-miss; Will often simply maintain acquaintance-level relationships with others, apart from select individuals they decide they like; Do best when given time and space for themselves

Value self-sufficiency and tend not to seek help; Relationship with trainer may take some work because of this, especially if not caught as a Snorunt (requires patience)

Froslass would likely consider chilling in the same area as someone else while doing separate activities or just zoning out to be “bonding” (no judgment from me, because same)

Pain in the ass to do field research on, because they’re aware of observers and (like many Ghost-type Pokémon) find amusement in messing with equipment like trail cameras

Wild Froslass do not occur naturally in Hoenn

The not-headcanons-but-other-stuff:

Pokémon as a series is full of chances to explore the dangers of anthropomorphism and I could talk about it for ten years; Pokémon don't have human morals, yet some of them operate at a nearly-human level of intelligence, which is kind of terrifying to think about

Froslass is based on the yuki onna of Japanese folklore (see here for a good overview); It seems to largely be inspired by two varieties that make for an interesting combination: 1) The forest-dwelling, soul-sucking ones from Aomori/Niigata/Miyagi Prefectures, and 2) the version first written by Lafcadio Hearn [x], (this is the yuki onna story, and is the one where the yuki onna marries a human man)

Specific Pokédex entries seem to draw from other varieties, as well

If the Pokédex is taken at face value, Froslass is out here selectively hunting down physically attractive human men to take them home and eat their souls; This is exactly the image the devs have been going for this entire time, and no one can convince me otherwise

If the “Traces of a Lost Village” quest in Legends: Arceus is taken as true (and there’s no reason to believe otherwise), it implies that Froslass (or at least the one in question) is not only capable of physically disguising itself as human, but also imitating human speech and behaviors convincingly enough to pull off said disguise for years; I have seen no one talk about this particular detail despite all of the things it could do with such abilities, and it’s driving me crazy

To make that clear: the game devs of Legends: Arceus looked at Froslass, which has been stated more than once to prey on/victimize human men in some way (including in said game), and gave it the ability to convincingly disguise itself as a human woman; Combine this with the previous point about the Pokédex and Froslass is now an even more dangerous catfisher than it arguably already had the potential to be

#pokemon #froslass #pokemon headcanons #OP #long post

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