#another song postcard :-)

[dovetailjoints]

#another song postcard :-) #the beatles #john lennon #norweigan wood #collage #my posts #song series #analog

[fizzytoo]

happy birthday, adrien <3

and this shot of adrien digging his nails into rua's back..... good for him good for him

#ts4 #ts4 gameplay #sims 4 gameplay #postcard legacy challenge #sim: adrien herrera #sim: rua kamealoha #postcard: gen3 #ama's been dropped off at rua's brother's for the weekend :3 #rua said oh you want another kid... i'll give you another kid #rua was SLANGING THAT THING. i know the scratches on his back are gonna sting in the morning <3 #ugh and just like the wedding ring in the back shot is just so ... MMM lovely to me #theyre husbands <3333 twin flames <333 fated for life <3333 #there's also this kind of possession w that shot too. adrien tearing into what's his #and rua loves the attention. he craves touch #adrien likes to be marked too but he prefers it in intimate places that only rua can see <3 #yall know that jeremih song BIRTHDAY SECX BIRTHDAY SEX #it's your birthday so i know you want to RIIIIDE OUT #queue #I DIDNT REALIZE HIS NAILS WERE A DIFFERENT COLOR OMG!! ignore that or DIE

[asydicsydney]

My WTNV playlist has a seemingly random song in it that is single-handedly the most important one

"Tranquil" by Go! Child

Which I see as the the first two years and beginning of year 3, from Carlos' perspective (helps that it sounds like he's singing)

First verse: Pilot, where Carlos and his team of scientists arrive in this supernatural town where they plan to really do some good and get good science done

Break (na's): Year 1 passing

Second verse: First Date. "Strange colors, piercing sounds, cracks forming in the ground" is the shadow beings. The deeper voice in the BG is Cecil (note the lines he does and doesn't say). This town is downright terrifying, but everything's a little more okay when they have each other

Chorus: 'If Cecil says everything's fine, then everything must be fine. I can trust him.'

Break (na's): year 2 passing

Interlude: Visitor, complete with IG drawings to illustrate my vision. The "ooo"'s are Carlos calming Cecil down as the events replay in his head

Chorus: 'If I can get Cecil to tell himself that everything's fine, maybe he'll believe himself?' 'He just needs to focus on getting us through this. Strex can't take us down.' He makes a promise to be by his side

He broke his promise.

Final verse: Projection call. Carlos has to be the one to calm Cecil down now, and he can't even be there

#wtnv #welcome to night vale #carlos the scientist #cecilos #ive basically talked about all my other weird song choices in one way or another #tiktoks on just some guy and my postcard #fic on legs away #hope youre crying :) #cause i am too

[zooophagous]

So why do you hate the advertising industry?

Hokay so.

Let me preface this with some personal history. It's not relevant to the sins of the advertising industry perse but it illustrates how I started to grow to hate it.

I wanted to be a veterinarian growing up, but to be a vet you basically have to be good enough to get into medical school. I do not have the math chops or discipline to make it in medical school. I went into art instead, and in a desperate attempt to find some commercial viability that didn't involve moving to California, I went into graphic design.

I've been a graphic designer for about seven or eight years now and I've worn a lot of hats. One of them was working in a print shop. Now, the print shop had a lot of corporate customers who had various ad campaigns. One of them was Gate City Bank, which had a bigass stack of postcards ordered every couple months to mail to their customers.

Now, paper comes from Dakota Paper, and they make their paper the usual way. Somewhere far, far from our treeless plain there is a forest of tall trees. These trees are cut down and put on big fossil fuel burning trucks and hauled to a paper mill that turns them into pulp while spewing the most fowl odors imaginable over the neighboring town and loads the pulp up with bleach to give it a nice white color.

Then the paper is put on yet another big truck and hauled off to the local paper depot, then put on another big truck and delivered to my print shop, where I turned the paper into postcards telling people to go even deeper into debt to buy a boat because it's almost summer. The inks used are a type of nasty heat sensitive plastic that is melted to the surface of the paper with heat. Then the postcards are put on yet ANOTHER truck and sent to the bank, which puts them on ANOTHER truck and finally into the hands of their customers, who open their mail and take one look at the post card and immediately discard it.

Heaps and heaps and literal hundreds of pounds of literal garbage created at the whim of the marketing team several times a year. And thats just one bank in one city.

I came to realize very quickly that graphic design was the delicate art of turning trees into junk mail.

And wouldn't you know it there are a TON of companies that basically only do junk mail. Many of them operate under the guise of a "charity," sending you pictures of suffering children or animals and begging for handouts and when they get those handouts the executives take a nice fat cut, give some small token amount to whatever cause they pay lip service to, and then put the rest of the cash right back into making more mailers. "Direct mail marketing" they call it.

Oh but maybe it's not so bad, you can advertise online after all. Now that there's decent ad blocker out there and better anti-virus ads usually don't destroy your computer anymore just by existing.

Except now when I search for the exact business I want on Google it's buried under three or four different "promoted search items" tricking me into clicking on them only to shoot themselves in the foot because I searched for the specific result I wanted for a reason and couldn't use those other websites even if I felt like it.

And now we have advertising on YouTube and on every streaming service, forcing more and more eyes onto the ad for the brand new Buick Envision that parks itself because you're too stupid to do it on your own.

Oh thats ok maybe I'll get Spotify premium and go ad free and listen to some podcasts- SIKE we have the hosts of your show doing the song and dance now. Are you depressed and paranoid from listening to my true crime podcast about murdered and mutilated teenagers? That's ok, my sponsor Better Help can keep you sane enough to stay alive and spend more money.

It's gotten so terrible that now you have content farms, huge hubs of shell companies that crank out video after video to get more and more precious clicks. Which if the videos were innocuous maybe that wouldn't be so awful except now you have cooking hacks that can actually burn your house down and craft hacks that can electrocute you being flung into your eyes at the speed of mach fuck so some slimy internet clickbait jockey doesn't need to get a real job.

It of course goes without saying that animals are also relentlessly exploited by clickbait companies that will put them in compromising situations on purpose to create a fake fishing hack video or even just straight up killing them for sport by feeding small animals to a pufferfish that rips them apart for the camera.

And all of this, ALL of this doesn't even touch how adveritising is the death of art in general. Queer topics, any kind of interesting art, any kind of sex or substance use topics are scrubbed clean and hidden at the behest of advertisers.

Sex education, a nude statue, topics such as racism or sexism or bigotry in general have tags purged or hidden from search, even life saving information about SDTs or drug use, because if someone saw that and complained then Verizon might sell fewer tablets and we can't fucking have that.

Conservative talking heads often bitch and moan that they're being censored on social media. The stupid part is, they're right! They are being censored! But it's not by a woke mob, it's by ATT and Coca Cola not wanting their adspace sharing screen time with their stupid fucking opinions.

However, they won't ever figure that out, because the talking heads they get their marching orders from like Tucker and Jones ALSO rely on the sweet milk flowing from the sponsorship teat and they aren't about to turn on their meal ticket so they have to come up with even stupider shit to say for the train to continue rolling.

I managed to rant this far without even getting into the ads I see for the beauty industry. The other day a botox ad described wrinkles as "moderate to severe crows feet" as if wrinkles are a symptom of a fucking serious disease! Like having a flaw in your skin is a medical problem that you need thousands of dollars of literal botulism toxin to fix! I was incandescent with anger.

Advertising is a polluting, censoring, anti educational and anti art industry at it's very core. It destroys human connections, suppresses human thought and makes us hate our own bodies. It ads no value, actively detracts from value, and serves no real purpose and I believe it should be almost if not entirely banned.

[mifhortunach]

it's very fun to watch u get into bnl bc my parents rlly like them, so all the songs u rb just bring back old memories! I had completely forgot about Another Postcard until u put it on my dash and I suddenly thrown back to being like 6 in the backseat of the car on a cross country roadtrip. it's also fun learning what the songs r about!! (I didn't pick up on much bc I was. y'know. a kid)

ANYWAYS! I support u and I enjoy ur bnl posting :]

That's so cool! ty for letting me know!!

It's extremely weird for me to even think about them being around when I was a kid ngl, despite the fact that I probs EASILY could've been in the exact right demographic for their kids album, lbr-

im glad you're at least not not enjoying it, and hopefully I won't hit on any that u really hated :0

#answered asks #this is such a shite response but TRULY this rly made my week a lot better #ppp #(in fairness- since im kinda assuming u meant about that war comment wrt another postcard- that was kinda glib of me #* & 1/2 an inside joke about like.. how obvs E2E was their most mature album (since the last one lol :/ ) & got called political a lot #so a bunch of the songs either got descerned to have political meanings/to be about... u guessed it - the iraq war- so// u get it) #(but I mostly refer to it like that bc the idea of it being INCREDIBLY subtly a political commentary 'these chimps have MEANING folks!') #(is so funny 2 me - sorry) #bnl

[heartateasee]

“Epilogue”

Word Count: 19.2k (a long one, but it didn’t feel right to split it up)

(Epilogue for ‘Goodnight and Go’)

Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse, oral sex (m and f receiving), fingering (f receiving) and unprotected sex

⋆★★⋆

*Late winter - a little over three years since the wedding*

*It will be notated in the chapter when the song is meant to start. I highly encourage you to start it when it comes into play, but you can also do whatever your sweet heart desires!*

Sitting in my go to cafe, I jot down another thought into my journal as I take a sip of my black coffee. Today had been a heavy mental day, and I just needed to get out of my house to clear my head. My therapist tasked me with taking up journaling at the end of my first month of therapy - my fourth session. She asked me to start out with lists that she would give me, but then after a while she told me just to jot down whatever came to mind. Even though I wasn't actively in therapy anymore, I still held onto this - it was enough for me to not have to go to an appointment every week.

I was proud of myself for that. I've been able to use the tools given to me to be able to tend to my own mind, and to talk myself down - only having to see my therapist when absolutely necessary.

I couldn't pinpoint why today in particular had my mind so boggled though. There wasn't anything upcoming that I was stressed about that I could think of off the top of my head.

My pen continues to scratch over the page, and I feel that my eyebrows are narrowed in concentration as I let out thought after thought. I could feel the fog in my mind starting to ease with each line, but still...it didn't seem to be enough.

As much as I have gotten a good grip on myself and my emotions, there were days that I still just felt...off. Today was definitely one of them. It wasn't so much anxiousness or nervousness that I was feeling - something that I've battled with for the past two years. It was something different. It was something that I couldn't exactly put my finger on, and I think that's what caused my mind to race from the moment I opened my eyes this morning.

The cafe was bustling on this Saturday morning, and I was lucky that I was able to get my usual two seat table in the back corner. Although I can hear the baristas loud and clear from here, the rest of the noise in the cafe seems to drown due to how far back I am.

"Order for Carter!"

My pen stops, and I take a moment to blink at the page.

It can't be her.

Shaking my head, I push the thought from my mind as I chew on my bottom lip - trying to figure out how to phrase what I want to write down next.

It's not until I see a streak of red hair out of my peripheral that I finally look up.

There's no mistaking the woman smiling as she picks up her cup off the counter. She digs into her bag, and I can see that she's given the barista a postcard with an illustration of a flower on it. There's some kind of quote on the back, and by the look on the barista's face, it must be something kind, or inspirational.

Before I can even think about it, I push myself up from my seat to get a better look. My movement must have been caught out of the corner of her eye because it's barely a few seconds later that she's looking at me.

She holds her paper cup in both hands as we stare at each out from a ways across the cafe - her expression unreadable.

I hadn't seen her since the wedding. After that, she disappeared from my life completely. I had tried for months to reach her, but I never got any response. Gwen had told me she had tried to do the same. I'd only found out just in the past year that was a lie.

No one saw Carter that first Christmas after everything.

After that, the holidays were always separated due to the fact that Carter and Gwen's parents divorced only a few months after the wedding. I knew that  Carter spent the holidays with her father while Gwen and I spent them with mother. Their parents hardly had any communication with each other, and I knew that their mother hadn't attempted to reach out to Carter at all - something she made very clear whenever she could.

I should've realized then what this all would become.

Carter's brown eyes look around for a moment before she starts to walk over to me, and I immediately feel my hands begin to shake.

"Harry," she says, just barely meeting my eyes now that she was closer to me. "Hi."

"Hi, Carter," my voice almost sounds strained as I speak, and I clear my throat almost immediately. "I...I didn't know you were visiting."

"Oh, no," she shakes her head. "I'm not visiting. I moved back a couple of months ago. This place has become a regular spot for me. I don't live too far from here."

I raise my eyebrows at her words, and it's then I can see she's looking past me to get a view of the table I had been sitting at - as if she were looking for someone else.

"Do you want to sit?" I ask, turning around and gesturing to the chair across from the one I had been occupying. "I'm here by myself."

Carter takes a moment before she nods. "Okay."

I pull the seat out for her, which earns me a small 'thank you', before I sit back in my own seat. Carter turns to hang her bag on the back of her chair before she's facing forward once more - both of her hands finding their way around her cup again.

Her eyes look down at my journal, and I quickly close it - pulling it from the table to slip into the green tote bag I had brought with me.

"You journal?" She asks, tilting her head to the side.

"Uh, yeah," I lift a hand to rub the back of my neck. I've never really talked to anyone but my therapist about my journaling before. "For about a year or so now."

Carter hums as she nods, pursing her lips to the side. "I do too, but I'm going on about two and a half years. I picked it up when I started therapy."

My chest aches as I can see a sheen of sadness in her eyes for a moment before it disappears. "I started it up for the same reason too."

I can tell this surprises her, and silence blankets over us for a moment.

"Are you still tattooing?" I ask - grimacing when I realize just how awkward this feels between us.

"I am," I watch as a large smile creeps onto Carter's face. "I'm actually working at the shop with Duncan again. He was nice enough to hire me back as soon as I told him I'd be moving home. He was thrilled, actually."

"Of course he was," I say, laughing a bit. "You're exceptional at what you do, Carter. Any shop would be lucky to have you."

Carter's cheeks flush due to my compliment, and I watch as she lifts her cup to her mouth. She hisses quickly as she pulls it away, and I know she's burned her tongue.

"Here," I reach forward without hesitation to take the cup from her.

Her eyes are trained on my every move as I pull the lid off the cup, setting it down on a napkin on the table. This was something I did for her quite often when we were in college. There was a bookstore/coffee shop that we frequented a few days a week, and Carter was never one to be patient and wait for her drink to cool properly. I started doing this as a quick solution without her even asking. It just became a habit for me.

I can tell her eyes are on my left hand, and then she looks up at me. "You...you're not..."

"I'm not...what?"

Carter looks back at my hand before looking at my face again. "You're not wearing your ring."

My eyebrows knit together as I look at her. "Carter," I start, and I can tell she's genuinely curious as to why that particular piece of jewelry is missing. "Gwen and I are divorced."

Her eyes widen for a moment, and I watch as the color leaves her face. "O-Oh....oh," she says, straightening up in her chair as she drops her hands to her lap. I can tell she's running her palms over her thighs as she shakes her head. "I'm sorry, Harry, I-I didn't-"

"You didn't know?"

Carter shakes her head again, and I can see with the way her chest is moving that she's trying to take deep breaths.

"Hey," I whisper, leaning forward to take one of her hands in mine from underneath the table - thankful that this table wasn't too big so I was able to reach across to her easily. "It's okay. It actually doesn't surprise me that you wouldn't know."

I run my thumb along her knuckles, and I can tell it's starting to soothe her as she finally looks up from the table to make eye contact with me.

"My dad had said that Gwen moved away, but I figured that meant you did too. That's why I was a bit shocked to see you here," she says, and I can tell she's trying to put it all together. "I don't think he even knows you guys have separated. My mom had only told him about the move."

I can't help but roll my eyes at that. Another thing that didn't shock me. Their mother didn't want their father, or Carter, to know about the divorce. She didn't want Gwen to look like she failed at something.

"She did move," I give Carter's hand one more squeeze before sitting back in my chair - our touch separating. "About five months ago. We've been separated for almost a year and a half. She left a few months after the divorce was completely finalized."

Carter's face shows that she's completely dumbfounded by this information, but she's trying to keep it together. "That's...that's why I moved back, you know? Because I thought you both were gone."

Her words sting, but I can't hold them against her. We wronged her, Gwen and I both, and I don't ever expect her to forgive me for the way that I treated her while I was with Gwen. I know that if anyone had treated me the way I did her, I'd never speak to them again.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable by asking you to sit with me. I didn't know you thought I was gone too," I tell her, and now I'm the one gripping my thighs. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to. I more than understand if I'm the last person you ever wish to talk to."

Looking down at my lap, I pick at my cuticles as I wait to hear her chair slide across the floor. But I don't.

I look up to see Carter still looking at me, and she shakes her head. "I chose to sit here, Harry. I'm okay, I promise."

I give her a small nod, but I immediately look back down at my lap.

A few seconds pass before I hear her clear her throat. "I like your hair. I never thought I'd see you with it so short."

I can't help but smile at her words, and I look at her once more. "Yeah? It's not weird without the curls?"

"I mean...it's a little weird," Carter smirks, and I know she's trying to help our playful banter come out again. "But they look like they're on the verge of growing back. I'm enjoying this little faux hawk thing you have going on though."

She lifts her drink to her lips and takes a sip - not flinching away from the liquid this time, so I know it's cooled down properly for her.

"It feels nice," I shrug. "Healthy and all. I buzzed it completely when the divorce was finalized. It was therapeutic, honestly."

"Oh? I wish I could've seen it buzzed," she giggles, pursing her lips to the side before speaking again. "I get the whole changing your hair thing though. I went brunette a few months after I left."

"Did you really?"

"Yeah, let me see. I'm sure I still have some pictures on my phone," she says before digging into her bag.

She swipes on her screen for a while before turning her phone to face me. "See?"

Even though I know it's Carter in this picture, it's not my Carter. She's smiling for the camera, but there's a dimness behind her eyes that I've never seen from her. She was unhappy - that much was clear.

"Oh, wow," I say, giving her a half grin so as to not disappoint her. "It definitely suited you, but I have to be biased when it comes to the red. It's just you."

"Yeah, I like the red too - I like being natural and all that."

She drops her phone back into her purse before I go to speak again.

"So, did you move back by yourself or..."

"Yeah, just me, and my little black cat, Ichabod," I can see her face light up as she mentions her cat, and it causes a warmth in my chest. "I had been seeing this guy for a little over a year, and I broke up with him about...half a year ago now? It just wasn't working out."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I tell her genuinely. "He wasn't bad to you, was he?"

"Oh, no," Carter shakes her head adamantly. "Not at all. He was actually very sweet, but I realized that even though I loved him, I wasn't in love with him anymore. So, I broke it off almost immediately after realizing that. I didn't want to string him along when I wasn't going to be one hundred percent in the relationship."

"And why do you think you weren't?" I ask, and I watch as Carter starts to play with the cardboard sleeve around her cup. "Why do you think you weren't one hundred percent in the relationship?"

Her eyes peer up at me underneath her lashes, but her face is still tilted slightly towards the table. "I think you and I both know why, Harry."

My stomach flutters when I realize what she's alluding to, but I don't want to press that conversation any further. Not here, and not after just seeing her again for the first time in what feels like a lifetime.

"Well, I'm sorry it didn't end up working out. You deserve all the happiness in the world."

"What makes you think that just because that ended that I'm unhappy? I'm actually the happiest I've been in a while since moving back," she tells me, but there's no aggression to her tone as she continues her explanation. "I've just been letting life take me where it wants for the most part, and yeah I get lonely sometimes, but it's okay. The quiet doesn't bother me anymore like it used to."

The confidence that I can see in her now is admirable. She's so sure of herself, and I can tell she means what she says.

Carter is happy.

"Can I ask what it was that you handed the barista earlier?" I have a feeling that whatever that was plays into this newfound self that I can see she has.

"Oh, those are just little postcards I make for fun. I do them in series, I guess? Like right now they're all different flowers, and the quotes on the back have to do with either growth, or rebirth," she explains, leaning forward onto the table a bit. "I keep them in my bag, and I hand them out to people who I feel need them, or someone who's shown me kindness that day. It's nice to see their reactions."

Carter has always had a big heart, and it makes me ecstatic to see that hasn't changed despite what those closest to her have put her through.

As happy as it makes me to see her own growth, there's also a part of me that's sad that I missed it. But the guilt is what chews at me the most. The guilt of just letting her slip through my fingers like I did.

"Oh, shit, what's the time?" I hear Carter ask before she pulls out her phone again. "I need to be at the shop in ten minutes. I'm sorry, I've gotta go."

"That's okay, I was just finishing up too. Let me walk you out?" I ask, and she looks over to me after stopping her slightly frantic movements.

"Sure, yeah."

She puts the lid on her drink as I stand and put the strap of my tote over my shoulder, and soon we're both heading towards the entrance of the cafe. I hold the door open for her as we step outside, and we move over onto the sidewalk so that we're not blocking the door as we stop.

"It was really good seeing you, Carter," I tell her honestly. "And I know it might be too much of me to ask, and you can absolutely say no, but do you think we could meet up again sometime?"

Carter chews on her bottom lip as she contemplates my request before she nods. "Yeah, I think that would be okay. I think I'd like that."

I can tell I have the stupidest smile on my face when I hear her agree. "Okay, yeah, uhm, let me just get my phone out for you to put your new-"

"I have the same number," she interrupts me, and I could tell she was a bit hesitant to say that considering she never once responded to me when I tried to reach out. "And I still have your number too."

I don't say anything in response to that because I understand why she did what she did. I give her a nod, slipping my phone back into my pocket.

"Okay, well, I'll text you so we can plan something, alright?"

"That sounds good."

We stand there for a moment, and I can tell neither of us really know how to end the conversation.

"Did you ever get your heart tattoo?" Carter blurts out, and I can see it was something she had been itching to ask me this whole time.

I laugh softly. "You remember that?"

She nods while giving me a small shrug. "It just stuck with me."

"I haven't, no," I say. "I actually haven't gotten anything since before...everything."

"You mean like before the wedding?"

"Yeah," I sigh, running the tip of my tongue along the inside of my bottom lip. "Didn't really have the motivation or inspiration to get anything new."

Carter stares at me for a moment before speaking again. "Well, if you want to still get it done, I'd be more than happy to do it for you. Just text me when you're free, and I'll see if it lines up with what I have booked right now."

"Wait, are you serious?" I ask. I'm taken completely by surprise that she would offer to do this so quickly after just seeing each other again.

"Well, you told me you wanted me to be the one to do it, right?" She asks playfully as she bumps her shoulder against mine. "I'm not letting anyone else tattoo that on you."

"I guess when you put it that way," I say as if she's twisting my arm, which causes her to let out a noise of disappointment - having her now shove my arm. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I wouldn't want anyone else doing it for me either."

Carter looks up at me with a beaming smile, and for a moment I'm transported right back - as if things never changed. "Then it's settled. Just text me."

"I will."

She begins to walk away from me before she stops. "Oh, here!"

Walking back over, she digs in her bag and flips through something for a moment before she's extending one of her postcards out to me. "I think this one belongs to you."

I look down at it for a moment, and by the time I look back up, I can already see her back towards me in the distance. Shaking my head at her with a smile of my own, I look back down at the postcard to really study it.

On the front was just a plain line work illustration of a daffodil. I flip it over on the back, and I see this one in particular has two quotes. I read each of them over once, but then I find myself reading them again, and again once I process what they really mean.

"The people who are meant to be will always gravitate back towards you, no matter how far they wander." - UNKNOWN

•

"Souls tend to go back to who feels like home." - N.R. HART

⋆★★⋆

It's been a couple of weeks since I saw Carter at the coffee shop, but we had been texting almost every day. I didn't seem too eager, so I didn't text her about booking the tattoo until later that evening, and he she was able to fit me in today. Neither of us made any moves to ask about hanging out outside of my tattoo appointment, but I wanted to so badly.

When I got back to my place after running into her that afternoon, I immediately got on my computer and searched what a daffodil symbolizes. I was met with the answer that it meant 'rebirth and new beginnings' among a few other things, but those stuck out to me the most. She was sending me a signal that maybe we could build this again.

I knew that things were going to be different, it was almost impossible for things to go back to the way they were back then, but I desperately craved to be in Carter's presence again.

Her quote that she handed to me was right. She felt like home.

That was a feeling I hadn't experienced in a while - not even when I spent my first Christmas back in Holmes Chapel this past December. It felt weird going back there by myself, but I did find comfort in being back with my mother, especially since the divorce was still pretty fresh. I ended up staying with my parents for a little over a month. I had never been more thankful for my job allowing me to work from home more than during that time.

I didn't realize just how much time I needed away from everything until then. It gave me a chance to help clear my head, and I still met with my therapist over Zoom so that I kept up with my sessions. It wasn't until I got back that I made her aware that I thought I was doing okay on my own, and that I wanted to see her on a per needed basis going forward. She agreed that she thought that was appropriate, and I've only had to see her once since then.

The need to see her came after Gwen was back in town visiting her mother. She told me that after she moved she realized she had taken some stuff of mine, and she wanted to give it back. I had tried to convince her just to leave it on her mother's porch whenever she left, and that I'd come by and grab it once I knew she was gone, but she refused. I was tempted to tell her just to forget it, that I didn't want any of it back, and that was the truth until she rattled off what the box included. It wasn't until she said there was a spiral bound notebook with a tattered red cover that I knew I needed to get that box back.

That notebook was one that Carter and I used to write notes back and forth to each other in during the class where we first met.

It was obvious that Gwen hadn't gone through it. If she had, there was no way she would've wanted to give me something so sentimental back - especially since it included a piece of Carter. When I went over there to get the box from her, she was immediately in my ear the whole time. She was asking if I thought I had made the right decision divorcing her, and if I was happy with myself. She asked if I had found someone new - asked if they felt as good as she did it.

But it wasn't until she brought up Carter that I snapped.

"I swear to god, if you're with my 'pick me' of a little sister, then you're just pathetic," she had said, and that caused me to stop right where I was. I had been trying to get back to my car so I could pack the box up and leave.

"I think you're a bit mistaken, Gwen," I told her as I looked over my shoulder to see her standing there with her hands on her hips. "You've always been the 'pick me' out of the two of you. I thought by now you maybe would've looked in a mirror and seen that you're the problem - not just with me, but with everyone. All I can say is that I'm lucky I can see it now, and I'm glad I got out of our marriage when I did."

That left her completely dumbfounded, and she didn't utter another word as I got into my car and left. I'm hoping that's the last time I'll ever have to see Gwen.

Regardless of how I defended myself and Carter against her, I was still shaken up by the encounter. My therapist was thankfully able to work me in that same day for a visit. She didn't respond much to me - it was more so of a vent session for me anyway. At the end of that session, she told me that I should be proud of finding it within myself to not only see Gwen, but to also stand up to her. That was something I hadn't been able to do at all in my last year with Gwen.

The first six months of marriage was wonderful, but the remaining year was horrific. I had dealt with Gwen coming home and screaming at me almost every day due to stress from her work. It wasn't until things got physical that I knew I had to leave.

At first it was a slap, and she apologized profusely for it - telling me she would never mean to hurt me, and she couldn't explain why she did it. I let it slide because I knew how much pressure she was under. The next time she hit me it was her closed fist connecting harshly with my chest. The final time, she had attempted to throw a vase at my head. She was lucky I was able to move out of the way quickly, and I avoided it.

I left that night, packing up what I absolutely needed, and I told her that I would be back to get the rest of my things. It took me about a week to get everything out, except for that one box of stuff apparently, and I made sure that I checked our Ring camera for movement before going over so I could see if she was at work. I didn't want to see her anymore at all. The thought of being in her presence made my skin crawl.

The whole thing made me wonder if the physical part of her anger was only just towards me, or if she had ever gotten physical like that with Carter. It broke me to think that Carter could've been on the receiving end of her wrath in that way, and I prayed that I was wrong in thinking that it maybe had happened in the past.

I let Gwen keep the house because I didn't want it. I didn't want the awful memories those walls held, and I knew that with the divorce I'd end up getting some money back for it considering we bought it together. Once I got the money from everything, I ended up getting a house of my own. Thankfully Gwen told the courts the divorce was amicable even though she really didn't want it, and the only reason why she agreed to that was because I agreed to not bring up her abuse if she did so.

I just wanted it all to be over. I wanted to start fresh, and I needed to be rid of her.

I'm drawn out of my thoughts when I realize I'm close to the tattoo shop, and I do my best to force the negativity out of my mind. Today was going to be a positive experience. I also think that today is going to set the tone of where things go from here with Carter. I'm hoping the outcome is us trying to rebuild our friendship, but I would be more than understanding if Carter didn't wish to get close with me again in that capacity. She had every right to deny me.

I parallel park on the street right out front of the shop, just across the street, and hop out. Once I'm inside, I'm immediately drawn to her red hair as she stands at her station. I can see that she's applying some second skin to the forearm of the girl sitting on her table.

"Harry, right?" I hear my name being called, and I look over to see Duncan.

"Yeah, that's right," I give him a small nod while sending him a smile. "It's been a while, Duncan. How are you?"

"I've been good, man, really good," Duncan says as he leans against the check-out counter, arms crossed over his chest. "Business has been great, and I just moved into a new house with my wife and little girl. No complaints. How about you? Carter mentioned that you would be coming in."

I can't help but laugh a bit when I try to think of how to answer Duncan's question. I've never been one to dump my feelings on people when they casually ask how you're doing. "I'm getting better," I tell him honestly. "Had some things happen over the past couple of years, but I'm definitely finding myself again."

Duncan doesn't get a chance to respond as Carter starts walking her client up to the counter. "Hi, Harry," she says, her smile growing the closer she gets to me. "I'll be just another minute or so."

"Take your time," I tell her, shoving my hands into my front pockets.

"You can go ahead and wait by my station if you'd like. I'll just need to get everything sanitized once I'm back over there, then we can start," she tells me, and I give her a nod before following her instructions.

I sit down on one of the stools she had over there as I wait for Carter, but I find it hard to keep my eyes off of her from across the shop. It's clear to see that she's definitely gotten more sure of herself over these past few years. She holds a smile the whole time she checks the client out, and I can see this newfound charisma that I caught at the cafe the other day just seeping out of her.

Once she finishes up, she heads back over to me, and I witness a softness pooling in her eyes as she stands next to me. "How are you?"

I stand up from the stool, and out of habit I go to wrap my arms around her. Carter's eyes widen slightly, but she doesn't stop me, if anything, she's quick to reciprocate. Her cheek rests against my chest, and I feel her let out a large exhale as her fingers curl into the loose jumper I was wearing.

"I'm good," I speak, finally replying to her question - moving around so my own cheek is now lying on the top of her head. "How about you?"

I feel Carter nod against me for a moment before we separate. "I'm good as well."

She moves away from me to slip on a pair of gloves, and she begins to wipe her table down completely. Once done, she motions for me to sit there, and she starts to get her station ready.

"Are you nervous?" She peeks at me over her shoulder with a smirk before looking back to her task at hand.

"A little bit, actually," I chuckle, running my hands over the tops of my thighs. "It's been a while, and I think I remember how it feels, but I'm questioning if I really do or not."

"Oh god," Carter gasps as she turns around completely, tugging on my jumper to signal it's time to take it off. "You're not going to pass out on me, are you?"

I can tell she's still being playful with me, and I shake my head. "I think we're good unless I somehow randomly see someone getting their tongue pierced."

Carter tilts her head back with a large laugh, clapping her hands together as I pull my jumper over my head. I'm wearing a black tank top underneath to make it easier for her to access the inside of my bicep. "I'll make sure to have Duncan tell me if someone comes in for one of those so we can make sure you don't get up to go to the bathroom and pass the piercing room at that time."

I roll my eyes at her while she pulls her hair into a bun on the top of her head as I hang my jumper on the small coat rack she has in the corner.

As I walk back over, I see that Carter is slipping the drawing she's made of the heart I wanted out of the front of her binder. The front of her binder is usually reserved for fun little sketches of hers, much like the ones I first noticed when we were in college. I look at the side of her face as I watch her, knowing she usually keeps her stencils in one of the clear sleeves she had inside.

"Did you just finish that up last night? Is that why it's in the front?" I ask, gesturing to the drawing as I sit down on the side of the table.

Carter glances at me out of the corner of her eye as she shakes her head. "Uh no...I've had this done for a while," she says, and she quickly clears her throat. "I just need to get it all prepared, I'll be right back."

My eyes watch her as she goes, but she returns quickly with another fresh pair of gloves on, and the stencil of the heart in her hand. "You said you wanted this on the inside of your bicep, right?"

I nod as I lay back on the table, and I extend my arm out for her. Carter sits down on her stool, rolling over to me before holding the edges of the stencil between the pads of her thumb and index finger on each of her hands. Tilting her head to the side, she tries different positions before it, and I see her eyes light up when she gets it right. She lays the stencil down - smoothing it over to make sure it all gets on my skin.

"Have a look," she says as she pulls it off, and I stand from the table one more to take a look at it in the full length mirror.

I move my arm in all different directions to make sure none of them make it look funny before I nod. "That's perfect, Carter. It looks great."

Once I lay back down on the table, she grabs her gun and scoots as close as possible to me. "You ready?

"Yep," I sigh, looking at the ceiling as I hear the buzzing start.

It's only a few seconds later that I feel that familiar scratch across my skin, and I grimace slightly from how long it's been since I've felt it. I take in a deep breath as I can tell she's trying to warm me up a little bit before she really gets started.

"Doing okay?" Carter checks in on me, giving my upper bicep a reassuring squeeze as she dips back into the ink for a moment.

"Yeah, feels like I remember," I say, earning a small giggle from her.

"Well, that's good then, yeah?"

I nod as she starts up again, and it's silent between the two of us for a while before Carter speaks.

"I've had the heart finished since before...everything," she whispers, and I move my head to the side so I can look at her properly. Her eyes stay focused on her work, but she flicks them up to meet mine for just a moment. "I was going to show you the drawing that night, sort of as a surprise present, I guess."

It's as if I almost feel my heart actually crack in my chest at her confession. I couldn't believe that she had finished it up back then, but I also couldn't believe that she had held onto it for this long. Part of that gives me hope that she was just waiting for the opportunity for us to reconnect at some point, like we have now.

I had thought about her so much since the last time I saw her, but she had grown even heavier on my mind since I started therapy. My therapist really helped me work through my feelings, and the more I worked through them, the more I realized just how much I had fucked up with Carter. I've beaten myself up time, and time again while looking back on how I treated her, and how I allowed her to be treated.

The image of her standing in that groom's suite, begging me to reconsider my marriage is forever engraved in my mind. Her body trembling with her arms wrapped around herself, tears streaming down her cheeks as she cowered away from me. I thought that night I found her outside at the formal was going to be the worst I'd ever seen her, and the fact that I was the cause of an even worse reaction than that...I'll never be able to forgive myself. My therapist has told me time and time again that I needed to find it within me to do so, but I don't see how it's possible.

"And I'd really like to talk everything over at some point," Carter speaks up again, but now she keeps her sight down, and off my face. "But for now, I think it would be nice to just get to know each other again, if that's something you're okay with. Once we feel like we're in a comfortable place, then I'd like for us to be able to put it all out on the table. I have a lot I feel like I need to say, and a lot I need to ask."

"I think I'd really like that too, Carter," I agree, reaching my hand out when she stops tattooing me for a moment. I wrap my palm around her forearm, rubbing my thumb against her smooth skin. "You don't know how nervous I've been these past couple of weeks. I was just holding onto hope that you would give me another chance."

"I still have a lot of hurt feelings," she explains as I drop my hand to allow her to start up her work again. "But I also didn't handle things in the right way. I was hoping that seeing each other would open up that opportunity for us to reconnect."

Looking up at me again for just a second, we give each other soft smiles.

It's a couple hours later that Carter finishes up my tattoo completely. My bicep now felt like a bunch of pins and needles, but I didn't want to have to come back for another session. I've always been one to complete my tattoos in one session, if possible. Carter had already let me look at the tattoo, and put the second skin on it before I walked over to the coat rack to grab my jumper.

"Here, let me help you," I hear her say after she disposes of her gloves. "Go ahead and put your arms in, and I'll help pull it down."

I do as she asks, keeping my arms above her head, and only starting to lower them down as I feel her pulling the hem of my jumper down as well. Once it was on properly, she gave me a nod. "I'm going to just clean up really quick since you were my last one of the day, and then I'll meet you at the counter, okay?"

I head over to the lobby section of the shop and sit down on one of the couches, beginning to scroll through my phone as I wait for her. I can hear her holding conversations with a couple of people around the shop over the next few minutes, and finally I hear her calling my name.

Walking over to the counter, she tells me my total, and my eyebrows narrow. "Carter, you know that's not right," I tell her with a small laugh.

"Friends and family discount," she shrugs, giving me a smug smile.

I roll my eyes, but I allow her to charge me what she wants - handing my card over. Once everything was settled, we head out of the shop, and I point to my car that's parked across the street. "That's me."

"That's me," she mimics, pointing to her car that was just a little ways down on the same side of the street.

"I'll walk you."

Carter nods, and I rest my hand against the small of her back to keep her on the inner part of the sidewalk as we make our way towards her car. Once there, she turns to face me, a tender look on her face.

"It was nice getting to tattoo you again," her voice is warm as she speaks, and I feel my stomach fluttering with how sincere she sounds. "I haven't tattooed a friend since Kieran, and that was a couple of years ago, so this was wonderful."

"Well, I'm glad it was you that could give me another tattoo after so long," I tell her, reaching out to rub my hand up and down her arm for a moment before dropping it.

"I'll text you, and maybe we can plan on meeting up to do something sometime next week? The weather is getting warmer, so I was hoping to spend some more time outside."

"Yeah, that sounds great. We can definitely figure something out," I respond, biting down on my bottom lip.

"Before I go, I wanted to give you this," Carter says before digging into her bag, much like she did before she walked away from me at the cafe. "Wait to read it until you're in your car but...I think this explains what I felt all those years ago a little better than I did back then, and how I've felt going forward."

Looking down at the postcard, I see that there's now a line illustration of a nightingale instead of a daffodil. "This drawing is beautiful, Carter."

"Thank you," she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear before clearing her throat. "I'm sorry to dart off so quickly, but I promised my dad I'd come over and make us some dinner tonight."

"Don't apologize, we practically spent the afternoon together."

We step forward to wrap ourselves in another embrace - all while being mindful of my fresh tattoo.

"You smell the same," I hear Carter whisper after a moment, and I look down to see her snuggling her nose into my chest. "I've missed it."

Swallowing harshly, I force away the tears that want to spring in my eyes. "You smell the same too. I've missed it...missed you so, so much."

I take a chance, and I press my lips against the crown of her head. I feel Carter's cheeks round out against my torso before she's looking up at me with a wide smile. "I'll see you soon."

"See you soon."

We separate, and I stand on the sidewalk to make sure she takes off safely. She waves at me through her window as she drives off, and I make my way over to my car. I'm immediately pulling up google on my phone to look up the symbolism of a nightingale, and the tears I had just wished away come crawling back.

"Found in Persian culture, through poetry and music, the nightingale has been celebrated as a symbol of unrequited love."

I press my tongue against the inside of my cheek as I look out my window, feeling moisture beginning to wet my face. My hand shakes as I continue to hold the postcard, but I can't look back down at it. I'm scared of what the other side, the quote, will bring.

I give myself a moment or two, sniffling softly before I look down - flipping the card over.

"No matter how much you wish you could, you cannot control how another person feels and loves.

Just because someone fails to see your worth, it doesn't make them a bad person, and it doesn't mean you are unlovable. It simply means that they aren't meant for you.

You should never have to spend your days and nights wondering if you are good enough for somebody. You are enough. You are more than enough for the right person.

Always remember that your happiness comes first. Focus on loving yourself, really loving yourself and you will see your value and find the strength to walk away from unrequited love.

Weeks, months, years will pass and you'll look back and wonder why on earth it took you so long to see that all along you deserved everything you always wished you had.

- CHARLOTTE FREEMAN"

⋆★★⋆

It's a Saturday night, and I've been sitting outside of Carter's house for the past fifteen minutes - just staring down at the bundle of daffodils in my hand. My mind is going a mile a minute, and I know I have to calm myself down before I go up and knock on her door. I got here early for this specific reason. I knew that I would probably work myself up, and sure enough, I have.

This was the first time either of us had agreed to meet at one of our houses. Over the past three and a half months, we've been seeing each other only in public spaces.

I was more than okay with us only meeting out in public. We both made the decision to take things slow as we rebuild our relationship with each other, and we both know that this relationship will more than likely be similar to our previous one, but there's no way it could ever be the same.

I think the scariest thing for me was that I found myself falling back in love with Carter easily.

Through therapy I realized that I never really stopped loving her in that way, I had just suppressed my feelings because I thought she didn't feel the same.

Going to therapy made me remember a lot of things I had pushed to the back of my mind when it came to the transition of my feelings for Carter into my feelings for Gwen. I had forgotten about how anytime Carter was out of the house, Gwen was telling me that she was out with a boy. I thought that Carter was hiding a relationship from me, and subconsciously, that's why I hid my relationship with Gwen. It wasn't until years later that I found out that Gwen had been feeding me lies.

Bottom line - Gwen manipulated me our entire relationship.

I know I'm not completely innocent, and that her manipulation isn't a complete excuse for the way that I acted, but it made me realize just how much she lied to me. She did anything she could to keep her hooks in me until she knew she had me fully secured, and then it was already too late with Carter. I had already separated myself from her to keep myself from getting hurt even further, and I had already started to fall in love with Gwen.

I know that I loved Gwen at one point. I know that I was still in love with her even when she hit me, but I know I fell right out of love with her the night she could've caused me irreparable damage.

Fuck, I didn't need to be thinking about all of this right now.

Tucking my chin to my chest, I suck in a deep breath as I lift my hand to pinch at the bridge of my nose. Reminiscing on the past in this very moment wasn't helping me calm down.

Instead I try to focus on the positive. Carter somehow found it in her heart to give me a second chance, and our reconnecting felt different to than I had anticipated. I could tell by the way she looked at me that she felt the same way too. We exchange small intimate touches every now and then, but that's as far as it's gone. I've also noticed that we're a lot more flirty with each other than we used to be. It's almost as if we were a couple that had separated, and now we're trying to figure out if time apart could make it work again. It didn't feel like we were necessarily rebuilding just a friendship.

It wasn't until this past Tuesday when we were sitting on a bench in the park that I asked her to dinner.

Carter had been talking about getting a corn-dog from this street cart for a few days, and I finally suggested to her that we just go and get them together. She was more than ecstatic when I told her that I wanted to go too. She got a regular corn-dog, and I got one with a plant-based hotdog inside. While we sat on the bench, her legs were draped over my lap as she leaned against the arm rest, ankles crossed one over the other.

Her heart shaped sunglasses were perched on her nose as I traced my fingertips up down one of her legs as we ate.

"I'm so happy right now," she said, using her hand to cover her mouth full of food as she spoke - as if she couldn't wait to tell me. "Thank you for coming with me, Harry. We picked such a good day too. It's beautiful out."

I swallowed the bite I was chewing before responding to her. "Of course I was going to come with you. I had to see the look on your face once you finally got your corndog."

The giggle that left her warmed my heart as her nose scrunched up, and I gave her thigh a squeeze. Humming, she let her free hand travel down to wrap around my fingers, and we remained like that for the rest of the time that we ate.

We stayed at the park for about an hour total, and it wasn't until we were about to get up and leave that I finally grew the balls to ask her what I had been wanting to ask her for a few weeks at that point.

That's when I asked her about grabbing dinner together, something we hadn't done yet.

"Yeah, of course we can grab dinner sometime. That would be fun!"

I remember my palms immediately going clammy, and Carter could instantly tell that something was wrong.

"Hey, are you okay?" Her palm found my back, and she began to move in circles.

"Well...I just-" I stumbled over my words like an idiot, finally clearing my throat when I felt like I had myself somewhat together. "How would you feel about considering it a date?"

Even though Carter had her sunglasses on, the lenses were pretty transparent, and I watched as her eyes went wide - her pink lips parting in surprise. I immediately had to look away from her, and I looked down at my hands as I nervously rubbed them together.

"Sorry...I'm sorry," I whispered, closing my eyes tight as if that was going to just make what I had asked disappear. "Forget it. We don't have to. I just ruined this whole fucking thing."

It was a few seconds later that I felt Carter's hand leave my back, and soon her palm was cradling one of my cheeks. She turned my face so I was looking at her - causing me to reluctantly open my eyes.

"It can be a date, Harry," she told me, and I instantly felt a knot form in my stomach. It wasn't out of anxiousness though, it was out of excitement. "I'm a little nervous given the past, but I'd like for it to be a date too."

When we separated that day, she let me give her a kiss on the cheek, and it made me tingle all over when I saw her face flush.

We haven't really spoken about our feelings at all, and we haven't discussed any expectations of each other either. I have a feeling that both of those things are bound to come up tonight. That's probably another reason why I'm so incredibly nervous.

My eyes glance over at the clock, and I see that it's now the time that I told her I would pick her up.

I suck in a deep breath as I get out of the car, my hands shaking as I keep a grip on the daffodils, and I head up to her door. Lifting my finger, I ring her doorbell before taking a small step back so that I'm not crowding her immediately.

The door opens after a moment, and once Carter's eyes connect with mine, a large smile takes over her features. "Hi, H," she says. She looks me over for a moment before looking back at my face. "You look so handsome."

It's as if my breath was sucked from my lungs when she opened that door. The dress she has on fits her perfectly, and she has her hair slightly curled so that it bounces a bit as she moves. I couldn't help but internally laugh out in adoration when I saw she had all black Vans old skools platforms on her feet.

Some things never change.

"Wow, Carter," I breathe, shaking my head. "You look gorgeous."

Carter's face flushes just like it did the other day. "I'm in protest against heels at the moment, so I hope Vans are okay," she says before her eyes drop to the flowers in my hand.

"Oh!" I exclaim with a chuckle, extending them out to her. "These are for you. I was trying to figure out what flowers to get, but these seemed rather fitting."

"Hmm," she hums, giving me a playful grin. "I wonder why."

She peeks over her shoulder for a moment before looking back to me. "I'm just going to put these in some water and then we can go. I'd invite you in, but I know Ichabod's hair is going to cling to you if you come inside and he rubs on you."

"That's alright, take your time," I tell her with a nod.

She shuts the door, and it's only a minute or so later that she's stepping back out. A thin black cardigan is now on her arms, and she has a purse draped over her shoulder. She locks up her door before facing me. "Ready?"

"Ready," I say, placing my hand on her lower back as we make our way to my car.

I open the passenger door for her, which she thanks me for, and I make sure she's in securely before I shut her in. My hands continue to shake as I head over to the driver's side, and I get in before starting the car up.

I can see Carter looking over at me out of the corner of my eye, and she almost instantly reaches out to take one of my hands off the wheel.

"Why are you shaking so bad?" She holds my one hand in both of hers - lazily intertwining one set of her fingers with mine while the fingertips on the other trace over the back of my hand. "We don't have to go anymore if it's going to make you so nervous, Harry. I don't want you to be-"

"No," I shake my head quickly, squeezing my fingers around hers. "I mean, yes, I'm nervous, but I don't want to not do this because of that. I've just...I'm really bad about getting in my head these days, and I just overthink things. I've been overthinking all day."

Carter frowns, and she brings my hand up - pressing her lips against my knuckles. "If it helps at all, I'm really glad that we're doing this. I've been looking forward to it since you asked on Tuesday."

"Yeah?" I ask, feeling her confession ease my nerves some.

"Yeah," she nods, biting down on her bottom lip.

"I can never thank you enough for agreeing."

Carter's eyes wander over my face for a moment before settling back on my own. "I told you...I've missed you. It's been long enough that I'm okay to let myself be open with you again, and I'm sure we'll touch on that more later, but I just know I'm ready for this. Whatever this ends up being after we talk everything out. Okay?"

"Okay," I bring her hand up to my mouth just like she did to me earlier - mimicking her same actions.

I let my lips rest against her skin a little longer than she did mine before I lower our hands back down. I go to pull my hand away so that I can place both hands on the wheel, but Carter tightens her grip. "Can I keep holding it?"

My heart palpitates in the best way at her question, and I feel warmth in my face. "Yeah, of course."

"Okay, good," she giggles before dropping my hand into her lap.

I bite back a larger smile as I put my car in drive, and I start heading towards the restaurant where I had made us reservations for tonight.

Music plays quietly in the car as we make our way down the road, and Carter and I keep stealing glances at each other as we do so. Eventually she moves her other hand down to completely encompass the one she had already been holding once again, alternating between smoothing her fingertips over my knuckles, and then the back of my hand.

I haven't had contact like this from someone in so long, and it feels nice. The tenderness of her touches makes me feel wanted and comforted all at the same time - two feelings that Carter used to bring me previously before everything went to shit.

Our conversation on the way there was light, just asking how our work week went, and she was telling me about a large back piece she had just finished up on a client.

Once we arrive at the restaurant, I open the passenger side of the car for Carter. Instead of letting me just place my hand on her back, she takes my hand in hers - lacing our fingers together. I stroke my thumb along the back of her hand as we head inside, and I can see that Carter is a bit shocked at the place I've picked out.

"Harry," she says, looking up at me with worry. "This place is so nice, and I'm wearing Vans. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you wanted to wear Vans," I respond, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Besides, they look cute on you, and if they want to say something about them, then I don't want to give them my business anyway."

Carter shakes her head briskly at me as we approach the host stand. "Two for Styles."

The host nods and grabs a couple of menus before we're guided to our table. I smile when I see they've remembered to set it up the way I wanted, with two candles lit in the middle, and two glasses of red wine already poured.

I can hear Carter gasp behind me, but she doesn't say anything yet as I pull her chair out for her to sit.

The host places the menus down as I sit as well, and I thank them before they walk away. I keep my eyes down on the menu that was placed in front of me, but I can feel Carter's on me.

"Harry," she speaks up after a moment, sweetness laced throughout her tone. "Did you have them do this for us?"

I nibble on my bottom lip before nodding. "Yeah, I did. I just wanted tonight to be special. For you...for us."

Carter reaches out across the table, curling her hand around mine. "Thank you so much. This was a nice surprise, and this restaurant is beautiful."

She gives my hand a squeeze before pulling away, and we begin to properly look over our menus.

"What are you thinking?" Carter asks, and I tilt my head to the side.

"I'm eying the pasta pescatore, how about you?"

"I think I'll do the lobster and mushroom risotto," I look up as she twirls a curl around her finger - lips pursed to the side.

I'm completely captivated by the way the candlelight hits her face, capturing her beauty in a way that has my stomach swirling.

After a moment, a waiter comes over with a couple of waters to accompany our wine, and he asks if we're ready to order.

"You first," I say, gesturing my hand towards, and Carter smiles.

We each order our food, and the waiter heads off as we grab our glasses of wine. I clear my throat, my other hand gripping to my knee as Carter's round eyes stare at me.

"This might seem silly, but I just wanted to say a couple of things," I chuckle nervously.

Carter gives me a reassuring nod before sinking her teeth into her bottom lip.

"First off, I want to thank you again for saying 'yes' to dinner, and especially having it be a date. I'm really trying to be more straightforward with my feelings in general, but especially when it comes to you now that we've reconnected," I start off, my fingers curling tighter to my glass as I feel I could drop it at any moment. "I also wanted you to know that these past few weeks of getting to see you again have been the best weeks I've had in the past two years or so.

"Like you said before, I know there's still a lot that's left unsaid on both of our parts, but I really don't know what I would do if I lost you again, Carter. Losing you the first time completely changed me as a person, even though I didn't see it at the time. But with that being said, if you realize that this isn't going to work out, and this isn't what you want, then you walk away whenever you want. Put yourself first - always."

Carter blinks at me, and I can tell that I've caught her off guard with my words, but telling her that the ball was in her court when it came to us was something I needed her to know. I didn't want her to let the guilt of knowing I'd be upset to lose her again be the cause of her putting herself into something she didn't want.

"Wow, Harry," she opens and closes her mouth a couple times - clearly trying to figure out how to respond. "These few weeks have been really great for me too, and like I told you, I've missed you. I allowed for this to be a date just as much as you did, so I hope you don't feel like you forced me to label it as that.

As of right now, I'm more than happy with how things are going, but I can't lie to you and say that may change after we really talk things out. I don't think it will, but I just want you to know that's a possibility, okay?"

I move my head in agreement with her words. "Of course, Carter - of course."

I watch her shoulders deflate, as if she's let out a sigh of relief before we're both extending our glasses forward - clinking them together.

"To us," she speaks up first, a large smile back on her face.

"To us."

We each sip our wine, and she hums out in appreciation. "Oh my god, Harry," she licks over her bottom lip. "This wine is delicious."

"Yeah? I went over their selection online, and I tried to pick out what I remembered you liking."

"It's perfect. Thank you."

I watch as she looks around the restaurant a bit before looking back over to me. "Well, I guess now is as good of a time as any to start, huh?"

"If you're ready, then absolutely," I reassure her.

"I should probably start with me figuring things out about my mom and Gwen since that all ties in to how everything happened, especially with us," she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear before continuing. "One of the first things my therapist had me focus on was my emotions towards them, but most importantly their emotions towards me.

"She had me write down times throughout my life where my mom yelled at me, which wasn't often, but I came to the conclusion that she only ever did when it involved something with Gwen. Whether it be me trying to play with one of her toys, or if Gwen and I were fighting about her borrowing something of mine when Gwen knew that I would be needing it, my mother always took Gwen's side - even when she was clearly wrong."

Reaching forward, she takes a large sip of wine before she continues. "I also realized that my mom and Gwen have extremely jealous tendencies. So, when the wedding came around, it was such a big thing for Gwen, and the way they treated me just magnified. They wanted it to go perfectly for her, and they didn't want me to ruin it. That's when I became their pin cushion."

I grimace at her use of words, but I know she's not wrong.

"Also, I don't know if Gwen ever told you, but she caught me leaving the groom's suite that day," she places her hands on the table, and I can see they're slightly trembling. "She told me she knew of my feelings for you, that she always did, and she couldn't believe I told you on your wedding day of all days. That's when she said she never wanted to see me again, and for me to stay away from you both. I listened to her because I knew you loved her, and I knew she made you happy, and I didn't want to take that away from you."

My heart aches at her words. Gwen never told me she had seen her after her confession to me. I didn't know that she ever knew that Carter had feelings for me.

"She didn't tell me," I whispered, shaking my head.

"I also need to apologize to you, Harry. I need to tell you sorry for never telling you my feelings sooner, and I also need to tell you I'm sorry for when I chose to tell you about them," I can see tears are now gathering in Carter's eyes, and she takes a minute to collect herself before she's blinking them away.

"I never wanted to tell you about my feelings because I didn't want to ruin what we had, but it seems that's exactly what I did because I waited so long. Maybe if I had just kept my mouth shut, none of this would've ever happened, and I-"

"Carter, I'm going to stop you right there," I butt in, not being able to listen to her blaming herself in this way. "Do not apologize to me for that. I won't let you blame yourself for what happened. There's only one person to blame for our friendship falling apart, and that's me."

Carter keeps quiet as I continue. "I should've never let Gwen keep me from you like she did, and I should've never let her treat you the way she did. Things would've been different if I had put my foot down. If I had refused to let her wedge her way between us, but I didn't do that.

"She fed me lies our entire relationship when it came to you. She knew I liked you, she revealed that to me during our divorce process. Whenever you were out of the house hanging out with Kieran, she told me you were seeing different guys, and I don't know why I believed her. Then she started dropping hints that she liked me. One thing led to another, and it just happened. The last thing she really lied to me about was her trying to contact you after the wedding. She led me to believe that she was trying just as hard as I was to reach you, and in our last big fight, I found out that wasn't the case."

Now I'm the one reaching for my glass of wine, taking two large sips. "I realized in therapy that I never truly lost my feelings for you, Carter. I just shoved them down, and I suppressed them once I started having feelings for Gwen. I convinced myself that they were gone because how could I love two people at once? But, my love for you was never like my love for Gwen. The love I had for you..."

I swallow harshly before I look down at my lap, shaking my head. It's only a second later that I feel the tips of Carter's fingers brushing over my knuckles.

"Tell me, please."

Looking back up, I meet her eyes, and I can tell she's pleading with me to be honest. It was hard to act like I was talking about the past. My love for has only grown more since being around her again.

"It was everything. Even if I didn't think it was reciprocated, and even though I didn't even tell you about it."

Carter opens her mouth to speak, but we're interrupted by the waiter setting out dishes down in front of us. We each thank him, placing our napkins into our laps as we grab our silverware.

"Let's just enjoy our meals for now," I reach out to grab her hand, and I kiss the back of it quickly. "And if we want to talk more later, we can."

"Okay," Carter breathes, and we both begin to dig into our food.

The rest of our time at the restaurant consists of us talking about much lighter topics while stealing bites of each other's food.

Now we're sitting outside of her house in my car, my hand placed on the inside of Carter's knee as she twists my rings around my fingers.

"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about before I head in?" Carter rests her head back against the headrest, looking over at me.

I know that what I'm about to bring up is serious, but it's something that's eaten away at me for too long.

"I didn't want to ask in the restaurant, and you can decline to answer if it's too personal, but it's something that's been weighing on me. Did...did Gwen ever get physical with you when you guys would argue?"

I'm hesitant to look at her, but I'm met with narrowed brows on her face. "I mean, we used to wrestle as little kids, but when we got older, no," she shakes her head. "Why? Did she get physical with you?"

I stay silent as I look down to stare at my steering wheel, and I can hear Carter inhale sharply when I don't answer after a moment.

It's not even a second later that I feel her arms around me, and she's pulling my face into her neck. "I'm so sorry, Harry," she whispers, pressing a kiss to my temple.

I feel tears welling in my eyes as I lift a hand to wrap around her wrist. I feel her nails scraping against my scalp to comfort me as her other hand caresses my back.

"You didn't deserve that. You'll never deserve that."

We stay in the same position for a while as she continues to comfort me silently before she speaks again. "You know that right? That you didn't deserve that?"

I nod, sniffling as I lift my hand up - pushing the tears off my cheeks with the heel of my palm as I sit back. "I know. I know I didn't deserve it."

"Good," Carter says softly, and I can see the worry behind her eyes as she stares at me.

Biting down on her bottom lip, she grabs her purse that was on the floorboard, and she shuffles through it. She looks back over to me, and that's when I see she has another postcard in her hand. "I had two of these in my bag tonight. I figured this whole thing could've gone one way or the other. "

She extends the card out to me, and I take it from her. I look down to see a line illustration of a butterfly on the front. I know that she did this on purpose because we each have butterfly tattoos, and it has me feeling hopeful.

"Will this quote tell me which way it went?" I ask her with a soft chuckle, and it causes her to giggle as well while she shrugs.

"Flip it over and find out."

Taking in a deep breath, I flip the postcard over, and I read over the quote a few times to really take it in.

"Rewinding time is not possible, but "do-over's" are. Sometimes we get another chance to do something right the second time that we got wrong the first time." - UNKNOWN

I look back over to her after a moment, and her expression is one filled with such kindness that I feel like I could cry again. "In case that wasn't enough to tell you...would you like to come in?"

My eyebrows raise, as I'm a bit shocked that she was asking me to do so, but I didn't give her any time to think that I was hesitating. "Yeah, yes, please," I laugh nervously, and she tilts her head.

"Come on then."

We both get out of the car, and we head up to the door which she unlocks. As we walk inside, she flips on some lights, and I instantly hear small thumps coming from her hallway while we take off our shoes.

"Hello, Mr. Crane," Carter coos as she lowers herself down to pet the petite black cat that's come to greet her. "This is Ichabod."

The image in front of me has my heart completely bursting from how sweet it is, and I follow Carter's actions - bending down to be closer to them both. "Hello Ichabod, I'm Harry."

I hold my hand out, and Ichabod sniffs it for a bit before rubbing back across the front of Carter's legs for a while, but he keeps his eyes on me.

"He's really nice, I promise," Carter says as she continues to rub over his back, and eventually Ichabod makes his way over to me.

I begin to scratch underneath his chin, and behind his ears as Carter stands.

"Do you want some more wine?"

Glancing over, I watch as she walks into her kitchen - loose red curls bouncing as she goes.

"Yeah, I'll have another glass," I tell her, giving Ichabod a few more pets before standing up myself. "Just one is probably good though considering I have to drive."

"What do you think I'm trying to do? Get you drunk so you have to stay over?" Carter looks at me over her shoulder with a shiteating smirk, and I shake my head at her. Knowing that the atmosphere around us has turned playful, I decide to feed into it as well.

"I don't know," I shrug before crossing my arms over my chest as I lean against one of her counters. "Are you?"

Carter hums as she turns back around to grab a bottle of wine out of her wine fridge, and then she walks over to the cabinet housing her wine glasses. "I mean, would you staying be the absolute worst thing in the world?"

My adrenaline perks up slightly at her words, and I quickly clear my throat. "No, I-I don't think that, I just didn't know-"

"Harry," Carter walks over to the counter next to the one I was leaning against - setting the glasses down. "I was just kidding. You didn't think I was that easy, did you?"

Groaning, I look up to the ceiling as I smile.

She's really busting my balls here.

"I'm not used to being one step ahead of you when it comes to picking on each other," she bumps her hip against mine to have me looking down at her again. "I guess I'm making up for all those years you had me blushing like an idiot."

"Yeah, now that's me," I laugh, leaning down to pinch at her waist - causing her to yelp.

Carter eventually uncorks the bottle, and she pours us each a glass of wine as we move over to sit on the couch. Ichabod makes his way over to the cat tree in the corner of the living room, and he makes his way to the top tier - quickly curling into himself and falling asleep.

"He's so cute," I compliment her. "How old is he?"

"Just a little over a year old," she says, looking over to the cat tree for a moment before looking over to me. "I actually found him outside of the shop I was working at while I was gone."

"You're kidding."

Carter shakes her head, swallowing down her sip of wine before continuing. "It was early spring, and it was raining so bad outside. It was chilly, and windy on top of that. I was closing up the shop, and I went around back to throw the trash into the dumpster before getting in my car, and I could hear him crying underneath it after I threw the bag inside.

"I pulled my phone out so I could use my flashlight, and I looked under, and there he was. He was by himself, and shaking, and I knew I couldn't leave him. To be honest, I didn't think I'd have the time to take on a kitten, so I had every intention of keeping him for a few days to get him better before taking him to the shelter. As you can see, I got way too attached and that didn't happen. It worked out for the both of us though. I don't know what I would do without him. He's my little buddy."

"You know it's funny, I had been contemplating getting a cat myself before I ran into you," I tell her. "Now you've kind of convinced me that I need one. The house is so quiet by myself."

"I definitely get what you mean. I've lived alone since I first moved away, and now I couldn't imagine not hearing his little paws on the floors, or hearing him eating his food in the kitchen while I'm sketching at my dining table. You should get one, H," she says, tapping her foot against my thigh. "They're a lot of fun."

"Yeah, I think I might," I say, dropping my hand to wrap it around her foot, running the pad of my thumb over the arch of it. "Would you come to the shelter with me?"

"Of course! I'd love to. Plus, I think I should have a say considering they're going to be around Mr. Crane. I need to make sure they're a suitable candidate for his friendship," she smirks, taking another sip of wine.

"That's fair enough."

It's quiet for a moment before she makes a small noise as she swallows her sip - as if she's remembered something. "Hold on, I'll be right back."

Carter sets her wine glass down on the table, and she slips down the hallway for a moment. I can't help but smile to myself as she's gone - not believing that I'm in her home with her right now, us sharing wine together and talking as if nothing has changed.

This is all I've wanted for so long.

I hear her coming back after a minute or so, and she sits down while passing me a piece of paper. As I study the piece of paper, I see she picks her wine glass back up, and she moves to drape her legs over my lap like she did in the park the other day.

"I drew that while I was in therapy," she said, tapping her fingertips against her glass. "She told me to draw something that provided me comfort in the past, and I came up with this. While I was drawing it, I was thinking of how you used to always hold my hand when we were out with friends if you could tell I wasn't having a good time, or if something was making me anxious. I've been meaning to bring it to show you when we've been hanging out, I just kept forgetting."

My eyes study the drawing, and I wait to ask what immediately comes to mind. "Do you think you could tattoo this on me?"

Carter's eyes look like they're about to bulge out of her head once I look back to her. "What?"

"I really like it, and you drew it perfectly. It reminds me of us too," I nod. "I'd really like for you to tattoo it on me, if you're comfortable with that."

"Harry, you know I'm always more than happy to ink you up. I'm just a little shocked - that's all. I'm more than comfortable with you getting it."

"Maybe in a couple months? I'm thinking on the back of my arm," I tilt my head to the side as I continue to stare at the drawing of two hands holding.

"I think that will look really good, H."

I only intended on staying at Carter's for maybe an hour at the most, but as she indulged in another glass of wine, I decided to stay so she could tell me all about the city she had been living in before moving back home. It was interesting to hear about the life she had without me in it, and I was actually able to listen to her talk about it without feeling a sadness in my chest.

I have her back now, and that's what matters.

Looking over to the clock, I can see it's nearing midnight, and I know it's time to go home.

"Well, I should probably get going," I sigh as I finish up my glass of wine. Only having the one glass at dinner, and then the two glasses here, I was more than fine to drive - especially with pasta sitting in my stomach.

"Oh, only if you're sure," Carter says, setting her almost finished wine down on the coffee table as I stand up. "You're not keeping me up or anything."

"I know, but I don't want to overstay my welcome," I chuckle, walking to set my empty wine glass in the sink in her kitchen.

When I walk back over Ichabod hops off his cat tree and follows me towards the door, circling my feet as he looks up at me.

"I think somebody doesn't want you to leave," Carter giggles as she walks closer to me, fiddling with her fingers behind her back.

"I'm sure I'll see you again soon, bud," I kneel down to give Ichabod a few head scratches before I stand up and look over at Carter. "Do you think that we could do this again?"

"Harry," Carter closes all space between us as she drops her hands to the side. "Have I not made it obvious enough that I more than enjoyed myself tonight? I would absolutely love to do this again."

I let out a small laugh of relief, scratching the back of my neck for a moment while looking down at my feet. Pursing my lips to the side, I look back up at Carter. "Can I kiss you?"

I can tell my request takes Carter by surprise, and I immediately feel like an idiot. "Shit, I'm sorry," I apologize. "I didn't mean to be so forward. You just look so beautiful, and I had such a good time that I thought maybe-"

I'm cut off when I feel Carter's hands cupping my cheeks as she pushes herself on her tiptoes, her taking the complete initiative to have her lips meet mine.

After a moment, I hum in satisfaction, and I drop my arms to wrap them around her. One of them wraps around her waist, while the other curls to the middle of her torso - my hand pressing against her shoulder blades to keep her flush against me. Carter is much shorter than me, and I can tell she's struggling to stay on her toes, so I gently lift her off the floor just a bit using the strength in my arm around her waist - causing her to squeal against my lips.

"Stay," Carter whispers, as she pulls away, her eyes dancing over my face. "Please stay."

My mouth runs dry when I realize exactly what she's saying, and I don't hesitate to give her a nod. "Okay, I'll stay."

Carter smiles, and I reach down to have both arms around her waist before I'm pulling her up higher. She wraps her arms around my neck, and her legs around my hips, as she leans down to reconnect our lips. "Bedroom is at the end of the hall," she mumbles against them.

I follow her orders, carrying her with ease down the hallway until we're in her room. After a few more moments of letting our lips mold against one another, I lower her down so that she's standing in front of me again.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"I'm sure," Carter says as she takes a step back, peeling her cardigan off her shoulders. "Take your clothes off."

My cock twitches in my pants at her words, and it takes a minute for my body to catch up with my mind. I pull my vest off and toss it to the side before I start to undo the buttons of my dress shirt. I watch as she reaches up to undo the ribbon tied at the top of her dress, pulling it so that it loosens, and she's able to slip her arms out of the material. She pauses for a minute with her hand pressed against her chest to still keep her dress up, watching me with her bottom lip tucked between her teeth.

I shrug my shirt off before I reach down to my pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them - leaving me in just my briefs.

Carter drops her dress, and my breath catches in the back of my throat when I see that her top is completely bare - only a black lace long left on her body. "This...this isn't weird for you, is it?"

I shake my head as I walk forward, my eyes shamelessly roaming over her. I'm taking her all in, as if she could disappear, or like I could wake at any moment - like this was all a dream.

"It's not weird at all," I tell her honestly, and Carter reaches out to wrap her hands around my wrists.

Her head tilts to the side as she moves me around until my hands are on her full breasts, and I sigh as I run the pads of my thumbs over her pebbled nipples. She gasps while throwing her head back - her eyes slipping shut.

Hearing that sound leave her, and seeing that just the smallest touch was bringing her such pleasure, it's like something in me snaps. I walk forward to where she's back against her dresser, and her eyes shoot open.

Carter watches me as I begin to lower myself down her body, pressing kisses to her neck and over her sternum. Once I reach her breasts, I rest the undersides of them in my palms before closing my lips around one of her nipples. She lets out a breathy moan, but we don't sever eye contact. Her hands wrap around the edge of her dresser, her elbows slightly pointed up to her ceiling as I pay the same amount of attention to her other nipple.

"Harry," my name leaving her mouth has me humming against her skin, and she rolls her head on her shoulders for just a moment before her eyes are right back on mine.

Abandoning her chest, I slip all the way down so I'm kneeling in front of her as I kiss over her stomach - hooking my fingers into the sides of her thong. I still hold her eyes, silently asking for permission, and she gives me a nod. I continue to sponge kisses down her body, all while pulling her underwear down at the same time. She's squirming underneath me, and I can tell she's aching for more now.

Once her underwear hit the floor, Carter lifts one leg to step out, but when she lifts the other, I quickly wrap my hand around her ankle - throwing her leg over my shoulder as I toss her underwear to the side.

"Can I taste you, Carter?" I ask, my eyes slipping shut for the first time since I've had my hands on her - the smell of her arousal filling my nose while I latch my lips to the inside of her thigh.

"Please," she whines, and my mouth finds its way between her legs before I can even process. “Oh, god."

One of Carter's hands leaves the dresser to make its home on the back of my head as she arches into me. My tongue is immediately met with her wetness, and I groan at just how much had accrued in such a short amount of time. I lick my way back up until I'm sucking her clit between my lips, and I open my eyes to look up at her.

Her head is back as she pants into the air, her face displaying absolute pleasure as I lift my hand to massage her thigh that's resting beside my head. My touch alerts her, and she looks down at me with pink cheeks.

"Good. 'S so good," she moans deliriously before she tilts her head to the side to rest her cheek on her shoulder - eyes slipping shut again.

I move back down to lap at her dripping entrance before I plunge my tongue inside - teeth scraping over her swollen clit. A strangled, but loud "uh" leaves her as she now curls forward, and the hand on the back of my head is pushing me even further into her core while her other hand drops to grip at my shoulder not cradling her thigh.

Everything about this is causing me to leak profusely into my briefs, and I know that I'm the hardest I've been in a long time. I creep my hand up from her thigh to grip one of the rounds of her ass - feeling her skin pushing through the gaps between my fingers.

"Wait, w-wait," I hear Carter gasp, and I pull away immediately. She sees the look of worry on my face, causing her to laugh breathlessly. "You didn't do anything wrong, don't worry. I just want to make you come twice."

I close my eyes and drop a hand to my briefs to apply pressure to my throbbing bulge at her words - willing away the urge to come right then. After a moment, I feel her slip her leg off my shoulder, pulling my cheek to rest against her stomach as she runs her fingers through the top of my hair.

"Can I do that for you, Harry? Can I have you come in my mouth, and then while you recuperate, you can make me come?" She slides one hand down my back - nails grazing against my skin. "And then when I come, I'll need you inside me, and I hope you'll be hard again. I want you so bad."

I turn my face to kiss along her stomach much like I did before. I'm riddled speechless by her want for me. It had been so long since anyone had talked about me in such a way, and it was causing me to feel so many different emotions.

"Please, baby," Carter whispers, and I slowly feel her lowering her body. I blink my eyes open to see her kneeling in front of me - moving her hands to cradle my face. "Let me make you feel good."

The pet name she uses ignites a fire in me, and I wrap my arms around her to pull her forward - having her thighs straddle one of my own as I press my lips against hers. Her thumbs swipe over my cheek as we kiss, and I tangle one of my hands into the back of her hair. Our lips part to have our tongues rolling against one another which causes goosebumps to coat my skin. We make our way off the ground, but we don't let our lips disconnect as she lays me down on the bed.

My hands wander all over her body as our tongues ebb and flow, and I give her plush hips a squeeze before she's pulling away from me. She runs her lips down my body, and just like I did earlier to her, she starts pulling on the waistband of my briefs.

"Lift your hips," she tells me, and I blindly obey.

Once my briefs are down to the tops of my thighs, my prick springs out and slaps against my stomach - smearing precome onto my skin.

"Shit," Carter's mouth gapes as she stares at me, and I feel myself twitch under her gaze.

She makes quick work of getting my briefs the rest of the way down before pushing herself between my legs. She's knelt down, back arched to have her plump ass in the air - right in my line of vision.

"Fuck, Carter," I whisper, feeling myself leaking even more at the sight. "You're so sexy. I don't think I've ever been this hard."

Carter licks over her bottom lip as she wraps her hand around my dripping cock, her other hand snaking up my chest to rest over one of my pecs - her palm grazing over my taut nipple. She works the hand on my prick up to gather my precome onto her hand before she slicks it down my length. Beginning to pump me, she nuzzles her nose into the trimmed hairs framing my base.

"I can't tell you how long I've wanted this," she tells me, planting kisses all around me.

I try to keep my eyes on her for as long as possible, but the pleasure is overwhelming. If she didn't get her mouth on me in the next few seconds, I was going to end up coming all over my stomach and her hand.

"I can't believe you're even more toned than before," she plants a kiss against my balls, causing my stomach to clench. "So pretty. Everything about you is pretty. You have a pretty face, a pretty body, and a pretty cock."

Her words have me moaning as my toes curl into the fabric of her comforter. I never once would've guessed that Carter was so vocal in the bedroom, and it's causing my head to spin. She was a true vision, and I found myself so lucky to be underneath her at this very moment.

I can't help but slip my eyes shut once her mouth is on my tip, and she lowers herself halfway down my shaft before pulling back up. I find myself biting down on the insides of my cheeks as she kitten licks at my slit - resulting in more precome pouring out of me.

"Carter," I gasp, one hand gripping to the pillow case my head was resting on while the other reached out to wrap her hair around my palm. "I'm not going to last very long right now."

She kisses my tip before I feel her nudge the side of her nose against it. "That's okay. This is about you right now. If you come in five seconds, I don't care."

Carter's mouth closes against me once again, and this time she lowers herself almost all the way down. I feel the tip of her nose against my happy trail as she zig zags her tongue along the underside of my shaft, and I can feel the ball of her tongue piercing pressing against every vein in her wake.

She bobs her head up and down before she presses all the way down, and I feel her swallow around me.

"Fuck," I choke on a moan, squeezing my eyes shut tight as I try to make this last as long as possible. "You're so fucking good at this."

Carter hums in response, causing a vibration up my shaft which has my abs jumping. I now feel my orgasm truly building in my lower abdomen. She pulls up to where just my tip is in her mouth, and I flutter my eyes open to see her looking at me - wiggling her ass in the air. She keeps me stable with one hand, and she parts her lips to show me that my tip is just resting against her tongue.

She shakes her head from side to side for a moment before she focuses on rolling the ball of her piercing over the prominent vein right underneath my tip again and again.

"I'm gonna come," I strangle out, my hand tightening in her hair. "I can't hold it."

Carter holds my eyes as she closes her mouth around me again, and she uses the hand that was holding me in place to start pumping me once more. My eyes roll into the back of my head as I feel myself releasing onto her tongue, groaning out as I buck my hips up subconsciously. It causes a small squeal to leave her, and if I was in the right stand of mind I'd immediately be apologizing, but my brain has gone completely fuzzy. She guides me through my orgasm fully, and I wince in sensitivity as I feel how tight she has her lips against me to make sure none spills out.

My eyes blink open just in time to see her popping off me entirely, and I watch as she swallows - the smallest bit of my come seeping from the corner of her mouth. Her tongue darts out to collect it while she begins to rub her hands up and down the tops of my thighs.

"You okay?" She asks, moving her way up my body so that she's hovering over me.

"I'm more than okay," I laugh, causing one to leave Carter as well. I wrap my hand around the back of her neck. "Come here."

I pull her down to meet my mouth again, and I hum as I taste myself on her tongue. As we kiss, I turn us over to where she's now underneath me. She hikes one of her knees up against my hip while resting her hands on the sides of my neck. Using one hand to hold up the crease of her leg, I dance my other one down between her legs.

I cup her cunt in my hand and give it a squeeze, causing her to gasp against my mouth. Smirking softly, I curl my middle and ring fingers to slip the tips of them through her drenched slit, and I'm almost certain I could already get hard again when she immediately coats my fingers in her arousal.

"You got so wet, Carter," I lick at her top lip before bumping the tip of my nose against hers. "Did getting me off turn you on that much?"

She nods, her hands beginning to roam all over my torso. "Sexiest thing I've ever seen was your face when you came just now."

"You're giving me an ego," I tell her, nipping my teeth against her jawline.

"You deserve to have one," she breathes as I feel her nails digging into my skin.

Swirling my fingertips around her entrance, I let her get accustomed to the feeling before I'm easily gliding them inside of her due to how open she already is for me. She mewls while automatically lifting her hips to meet my fingers, and I help satisfy her even more by tapping against her spongy spot.

"Yes," she whines, her chest now flush against mine - hard nipples grazing my skin. "Please, Harry, don't stop."

"I'm not going to, baby," I assure her, sucking on the junction where her neck and shoulder meet. "Not stopping until your come is covering my fingers, understood?"

"Mhmm," she lets out a high pitched hum as I begin to thrust my fingers in and out of her, making sure to continue curling them every now and again. "I understand."

Carter's heavy breathing fills the room once more as writhes underneath me. I can feel her clenching around me in what seems like intervals, and I know she's probably just as close as I was once she got her mouth on me.

"God, I can't believe I get to have you like this right now," I tell her, testing the waters to see if talking turns her on like it does for me. "Never thought this would be a reality for me. I thought I fucked up so bad that you'd never speak to me again, and now I've got you naked and open for me. I'm the luckiest man in the whole world to be here with you."

She cries out as I drop my hand from her leg to slip between our chests so I can roll one of her nipples between my index finger and my thumb. I can see a sheen of sweat forming on her hairline, and I slip a third finger into her to try to get her to her climax faster - not wanting her to feel like I was teasing too much.

"Harry," she whimpers, opening her eyes to look up at me.

"You're right there, hm?" I ask, tilting my head to the side, and I watch as he nods in response to me. "Come on, flower. Let go for me."

The old nickname I used to call her seems to be what sends her over the edge.

Carter's head tilts slightly back, and I watch as her lips part. A lewd moan starts to escape her as I feel her completely clamp down on my fingers, but I don't take my eyes off her face. She keeps her eyes on me as she comes, her orgasm coating me just like I asked as I continue to ride her through it. She wiggles her hips, as if she's trying to move away from, and that's when I remove my fingers - knowing that she's coming back down.

Her eyes watch my every move as I bring my fingers up to my mouth, sealing my lips around them as I suck them clean. I close my eyes once I have her taste on my tongue again, swallowing down a moan so I don't look absolutely pathetic.

I open my eyes to look down at Carter, and I see her smiling up at me. "Thank you," her chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath. "That felt so good."

Looking down at the same time, we both see that my cock is about half hard, but I know it won't take much longer for me to get fully there when I know where this is going next. I lower myself down to kiss her body like I had before, and I take the time to really examine her skin.

"You got a lot of new tattoos," I say, giving one of her breasts a small squeeze.

"Mhmm," she hums, wrapping one hand around my forearm that was connected to the hand on her chest - rubbing her palm up and down my skin. "A pretty good amount, I'd say."

Lowering myself down onto her, I begin to press my lips over the ones that I know I haven't seen, whispering 'new' as I do so. It causes Carter to giggle as I locate each one, and she tucks her bottom lip between her teeth as she watches me closely, but her smile still shines through.

"I have another," she tells me, tapping me to lift up a bit before she flips over onto her stomach.

I look down and see ink right under the crease between one of her ass cheeks and her thigh. "Also new."

Smirking, I lean down to press my lips against that one as well as she looks at me over her shoulder. I trail my lips up just slightly, biting down playfully on her ass cheek - causing a laughter filled squeal to leave her, and I feel her lightly kicking her feet.

I lift up onto my knees, grasping her hips to flip her over once more, and I feel that I've grown fully hard again.

"You're really sure, Carter?" I ask her, and she nods.

"I've never been so sure about something before. I want you, Harry. Fuck, I need you. I think I'll cry if you're not in me in the next few minutes."

That causes me to chuckle softly. "I'm going to put on some music, is that okay?"

"Yeah, of course."

I stand up from the bed and grab my phone that's in my pants pocket. Flipping through my apps, I locate Spotify and quickly search the song I had in mind. Once I find it, I place my phone on her nightstand before crawling back over her. The intro starts, and my eyes wander over Carter's face before the vocals kick in.

"I get so lost, sometimes. Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart. When I want to run away I drive off in my car, but whichever way I go I come back to the place you are."

"Harry," she whispers as she trails her fingertips down my biceps, and I see tears filling her eyes.

"Don't cry, please," I lean down to press a kiss against each of her cheeks. "It's how I've pictured this moment for so long."

"You mean to this song?"

"To this song," I nod, reaching down to massage her hips in each of my hands. "This is how I felt about you then, and I haven't been completely honest with you because...this is also how I feel about you now too. I meant what I said earlier. You mean everything to me, Carter Adams."

"How are you going to tell me not to cry, and then say something like that?" Carter laughs, but I can hear the tears filling it.

"Sorry, I just needed to let you know," I lean down to press my lips gently against hers before pulling back just slightly. "Do you have a condom?"

"I do, but...are you okay if we don't use one? I have an IUD, and I'm clean. I got checked after my break up, and I haven't been with anyone since," she cradles my jaw in her palms, the pad of her thumb brushing over my lips. "I just really want to feel you."

"I'm clean as well," I nod, running my hands down from her hips to the outside of her thighs to pull her knees up against me once more. "I'd really like to feel you completely too, Carter."

Reaching out, I grab a pillow from the other side of the bed that she wasn't lying on, and I slip it underneath her hips to have her angled up slightly. "Good?"

"Good," she responds, and I can tell that we're both a bit nervous now that we know this is actually going to happen.

With one hand cupping her waist, I wrap my other hand around my length to guide myself to her. I allow my tip to run through her folds to collect her arousal for a moment before I'm pushing inside. My jaw goes slack, and I choke on a groan when I feel just how tight she is around me with me barely being inside.

"Oh," she moans, grasping to the creases of my arms.

I look up from where we're connected to check on Carter, and she gives me a nod - telling me silently to keep going. I'm slow as I continue to push forward, and once I'm completely inside, I hear a flooded whine leave her.

"H-Harry," she says, and she's immediately demanding my attention when I hear how much emotion is behind my name. "I love you."

Those three words that I never thought I'd hear her say to me again, at least not in context, have me crumbling.

My bottom lip trembles as I cup her cheek in my hand. "I love you too, Carter. I love you so much."

Leaning down, I connect our lips in a passionate kiss, neither of us caring as we feel our tears smearing over each other's cheeks. We stay still for a while, hands caressing each other's bodies while our tongues melt together. It was incredible how perfectly we fit together, and my heart was pounding against my chest due to the intimacy that was surrounding us in every way imaginable.

Our mouths separate with a large 'smack' bouncing off the walls, and smiles are immediately pulling at the corners of our lips.

"I'm gonna start moving, okay?"

"Okay," Carter gives my arms a squeeze, and I draw my hips back halfway before allowing myself to fill her to the brim again.

She sighs out, leaning her head to the side to press her lips against my heart tattoo. My eyes catch hers, and she sends me another soft smile. "New," she mumbles against my skin.

That small gesture has a knot forming in my throat again, but I power through. The only thing I want right now is to give her even more pleasure than I did before. I want to show her how much I love her now, and how much I loved her even before.

After a few more moments of letting her adjust, I begin to fall into a rhythm of plunging my slick cock in and out of her weeping cunt. Carter's walls flutter around me every time I'm fully sheathed back inside, and I look down to see her clit all puffy and inviting. I push one of her legs down onto the bed, and then drape the knee of her other leg over the crease of my arm. Moving onto my knees just a bit more, I begin to thrust at a new angle, and her muscles clamp down the hardest they have.

"That it, baby?" I ask, dropping my free hand to rub the pad of my thumb against her clit. I can feel it pulsing, and I know that she's close to another orgasm already.

"Jesus Christ, Harry," she groans, nails digging into my skin as I keep up my pace. "Splitting me open."

Her words have my prick twitching inside of her, and I know that I'm not going to be able to hold out as long as I want to.

I'll just have to make a promise to make it up to her in the morning.

"Yeah? Got you feeling full?"

"So full," Carter shakes her head from side to side, and her eyes are droopy. I can tell she's trying her hardest to keep them open, and on me.

"You feel so good around me, flower," I compliment, licking over my bottom lip. "Prettiest, and sweetest little pussy squeezing me. Can't get enough can you, hm?"

I watch as her body trembles underneath me, and she opens her mouth to say something, but I feel her walls tightening. Looking down, I can see her second orgasm coating my length, and that causes me to start slipping in and out of her even easier than before.

"That's a good girl," I lean down to press my lips to the corner of hers. "You're 's good for me, Carter."

Carter clutches to me, and I allow her to lift her knees to my hips again so that I can be closer to her. I pant against the side of her neck as my feel my own orgasm festering at the bottom of my spine.

"Where do you want me to come?" I ask, and she's quick to press her heels against the small of my back - forcing me to barely move in and out of her now.

"Inside, please," she begs me, and that's all it takes for me to find my second release.

I can't help but bite down on her shoulder as I pump everything I have inside of her sensitive cunt, and I hear her letting out small mewls and whimpers each time I thrust back in. Once I know she's taken everything from me, I collapse on top of her, but I'm mindful not to bare all my weight.

We cling to each other, sharing small kisses and caresses as we come down from our highs. When I finally find the strength, I push myself up onto one of my palms, my other hand reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind Carter's ear.

"I love you," I tell her, and she smiles up at me - corners of her eyes squinting.

"I love you too."

As I hover over the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, I wonder how I could have ever been so stupid to let her slip away the first time, but I have to remind myself that's in the past. Tonight truly marks the new beginning of this relationship, and I know that it'll bring us both nothing but happiness.

I look at her, and I see not only my future, but also my soulmate. Regardless of what happened before, I know one thing is absolutely true - Carter Adams has always been the love of my life.

#harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles writing #harry edward styles #harry styles smut #harry styles ff #harry styles smutty fanfic #harry styles short story #harry smut #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x oc #Spotify

[emergingghost]

julien baker live lyric changes masterpost

the many ways that julien changes her lyrics over time and seamlessly alters the lyrics and meanings of her songs to maintain a level of personal authenticity has become so fascinating to me and many others so i thought it'd be nice to do some research and compile as many as i can. enjoy! or cry! whichever!

the original lyrics are in parenthesis, changes are bolded, roughly in chronological order and i’ve added timestamped links to performances [x] where i can! i use mostly youtube because it's the most accessible. some of these seem to be permanent changes and others are just occasional, probably depending on how she's vibing with the song at the time (i'm assuming). let me know of any i’ve missed!

Rejoice: [x] [x] [x] pronoun change, does this lots! "i know there's a god and they hear either way" ("i think there's a god and he hears either way") [x] she uses the 'she' pronoun here this time! [x] she sings 'force' here and also in a version she performed pre-release "asking why did you let them leave and then force me to stay?" ("asking why did you let them leave and then make me stay?")

Good News: [x] [x] [x] these are not full lyric changes but rather some gut-wrenching repetition. side note she performs a cover of paul by big thief in the first clip here too! "it's less about you / it's all about how i ruin everything oh everything i do / everything i do / god i ruin everything oh everything / oh everything i think could be good news." ("it's less about you / it's more about how i ruin everything--- i think could be good news")

Distant Solar Systems: [x] pronoun change speaking of god, she also omits the second last verse. "I send postcards from the road and now and then she answers" ("and now and then he answers")

Turn Out the Lights: [x] [x] [x] this one hurts! a few times in late '18 and in '19 "maybe i'd do it but it's not a joke" ("i'd never do it but it's not a joke")

Sour Breath: [x] [x] another one that hurts!! "think all the liquors gonna keep me warm / burn everything down just to prove i could / leave you inside a body made of wood" ("think all the liquors gonna keep you warm / burn everything down just to prove you could / leave me inside a body made of wood") [x] audio only from 1:16 (same changes as above +) "i don't do too well when everyone's worried about me" ("i don't do too well when nobody's worried about me")

Appointments: [x] [x] [x] in lots of performances post-2018. she switches between using 'know' and 'think' occasionally “i know that i ruined this / but i think i can live with it / nothing turned out how pictured it ... i think that i failed again / but i know you’re still listening” ("i think if i ruin this / that i know i can live with it / nothing turns out like I pictured it ... i think if i fail again / then i know you’re still listening") [x] audio only - from 2:45 (same changes as above +) "i hope you're still listening" ("i know you're still listening")

Happy to Be Here: [x] tiny changes. not sure if she's done this more than once "different me would be inhabiting my body / have two cars, a garage, a dog..." ("different me would be inhabiting this body / have two cars, a garage, a job...")

Something: [x] [x] [x] [x] (she adds 'again' a lot, even since 2015) “asking aloud why you’re leaving again” (“asking aloud why you’re leaving--”) [x] (this was prior to release) "asking aloud why you're leaving again / i know you won't answer me" ("asking aloud why you're leaving --- / but the pavement won't answer me")

Red Door: [x] "beneath before you won't follow me down" ("beneath before you wont follow me there")

Shadowboxing: [x] [x audio only - from 3:09] "tell me that you love me / tell me you love me / i wanted so bad to believe you / so tell me you loved me / tell me you loved me / i wanted so bad to believe you" ) ("when you tell me you love me / tell me you loved me / i wanted so bad to believe it / so tell me you love me / tell me you loved me")

Ziptie: [x] [x] [x] [x] (side note the end of the second clip rules!!) “someone’s/somethings got my heart in a ziptie” (“someone’s got my head in a ziptie”)

Tokyo: [x] [x] [x audio only - from 1:30] in a few performances in 2022 “a seven-car pile-up of every disastrous thing that i am" (“a seven-car pile-up of every disastrous thing that i’ve been”) + also sings "accident" instead of "aftermath" in the audio clip

Relative Fiction: [x] [x] [x] [x] does this lots! "honey you're the only thing i'll wait around for" ("--you’re the only thing i’ll wait around for")

Highlight Reel: [x] [x audio only from 1:45 ] original chorus lyrics are 'you feel' but now in one chorus she sings 'to' and the other she sings 'you' "ooh it's a highlight reel / tell me how to feel" ("ooh it's a highlight reel / tell me how you feel")

Ringside: [x] [x] [x audio only from 3:50] two separate lyrics changes in these clips! "like a scratch-off ticket how i dig my nails into your skin" ("like a scratch-off ticket how you dig your nails into my skin")

(from final verse) “nobody deserves a second chance / so why do i keep getting them?” (“nobody deserves a second chance / but i keep giving them”) [x] [x] (from the second last verse) “nobody deserves a second chance / but somehow i keep fucking getting them” (“nobody deserves a second chance / but honey i keep getting them") Anti-Curse: [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] she doesn't always change 'foreign characters' "writing the words to the best love song you've ever heard" ...“sounding out familiar characters” ("writing the words to the worst love song you've ever heard"...“sounding out the foreign characters”)

Favor: [x] [x] [x] [x] first change - changing to 'why?' in most live performances “why couldn’t you make me do it?” (“well you couldn’t make me do it”) [x] [x] new change from MSG in 2023! “how did you make me do it?” (“well you couldn’t make me do it”)

HONOURABLE MENTIONS:

Funeral Pyre: [x] this is just a funny thing i found on my hunt. the audience accidentally corrected her grammar, theyre singing along and sing "needed so badly" instead of the original "needed so bad" and everyone took a lil' moment to laugh. Funeral Pyre: allegedly. i just read about it somewhere so have no proof!! “while i drank gasoline 'cause it's what i needed so bad” (“while you drank gasoline 'cause it's what you needed so bad”) Shadowboxing: [x] she doesn't really change any lyrics significantly but repeats the final verse for emphasis.

Good News: [x] (i think an early/demo version but i cant find any other recordings/videos of this version!) "how i fuck up everything i think could be good news" ("how i ruin everything i think could be good news") Rejoice: [x] house show performance from 2015 before official release. a few different lyrics! "ask you why did you let them leave and then force me to stay?" ("asking why did you let them leave and then make me stay?") (final verse) "i rejoice anyway / i rejoice either way" ("i rejoice i rejoice / i rejoice i rejoice") Sour Breath: [x] she added a new mini verse repeating "the harder i swim" where there are usually just instrumentals or 'oohs.' then she continued with the original final "the harder i swim the faster i sink" verse.

Sour Breath: [x] house show performance from 2015 before official release. there's an entire additional verse where the repeated 'the harder i swim the fast i sink' usually is. proceed with caution. "...too late to talk just go to sleep been up too long and you've been drinkin' all night it's almost a week and you haven't said a word been thinkin' it isn't worth the tryin' it takes to fix everything you hate about me all that you wouldn't wanna see

the harder i swim, the faster i sink and all i ever wanted was to pull you down with me was to pull you down with me don't you wanna sink with me? don't you wanna drown with me? just let me pull you down..."

#julien baker #boygenius #lyrics #there are probably many more but the internet is infinite and this post would never see the light of day if i kept searching #some of these changes are so minor but i thought id add them anyway because i personally found them interesting #lmk what you think if u read this i know its loooong haha <3

[chubsonthemoon]

Happy Binderary 2024!! Kicking things off with the fantastic Never understood a single word he said by dear friend @aboxthecolourofheartache. I had the best time beta'ing this for Box and just had to have it on my shelf! More pics and process info under the cut:

had an absolute blast packing as many easter eggs as I could into this one! it's a roadtrip gone wrong fic heh, so I went for a scrapbook/collage cover made of the same kraft paper I usually use for paperbacks, but left the hinge + spine exposed. I tore each piece from a different sheet of scrapbook paper, so the resulting texture is really fun:

I also went to town with references to some of the events in the story, particularly on the back of the cover. the postcard is probably my favorite element; here are my few first practice runs on scratch paper (along with some of my colored pencil testings for the markings on the map) before I went for it on the real cover!

I repurposed the ribbon graphics I originally drew for another bind (@feralrookie's right where I should be ❤️). the music notes on the first page notate the rhythm of the opening lines of the song the fic is based on, Three Dog Night's "Joy to the World," which I had on loop while I was typesetting this! ("Jeremiah was a bullfrog/Was a good friend of mine.") Box's taste in trigun-themed country and blues is impeccable, and I have a whole spotify playlist made almost entirely of her recs ehe :3

the blank/empty ribbon appears between chapter 1 and the epilogue for story reasons ehe; really wanted to convey the feeling of "where did the music go?", because I also listened to American Pie a lot while making this lolol.

also added little camera graphic at the end, which reminded me of meryl's occupation as a journalist, but the hands/lack of a face holding the camera also gives me the uncanny feeling of being watched/photographed (also plot relevant heh). camera graphic and the house graphic at the beginning are both sourced from Heritage Type's free vintage illustrations, from a series of packs called "Hands Holding Stuff."

the hand holding the house on the title page gave me wolfwood's confessional-on-the-go vibes, BUT it was originally held straight like this:

so I decided to tilt it to give it more of that feeling of instability and "oh shit my entire world is being turned upside down rn god the exits WHERE ARE THE EXITS (there are no exits)" feeling present in the fic :D so I guess it's more of a knives reference?? still, the kind of "what is even going on here?" reaction I had when I first saw it fits well with the title, so I went with it!

and that's it for now!! I'll be out of town for the next week or so, but I have a bunch more projects I'm really excited to share this month, along with some long-overdue author copies that I'm excited to get mailed to their rightful homes!

finally, thank you SO much for letting me bind your work, Box!!! it's always such a pleasure <333

#trigun #vash the stampede #meryl stryfe #nicholas d. wolfwood #fanbinding #bookbinding #ficbinding #binderary 2024 #Never understood a single word he said #aboxthecolourofheartache

[jayden-killer]

STEVEN GRANT SAD HEADCANNONS.

A/N: Man, I love writing angst at past 11 pm. >:] even if it breaks my heart.

☆

• As we have seen in the TV show, people snob him way too much. Take for example Donna and J.B. He tries hard to have a social interaction with whoever he has next to him. Even Crawley! But I think that a part of him has surrended to the fact that people don't want him around. He feels like a burden, a fly. So he has learnt to limit himself by talking to Gus only (and Marc, after he discovered about him).

• He cries a lot, but like a lot, in his bed, hugging himself close to a pillow and imagining someone is comforting him. It's almost sure he's got mommy issues. He just wants to vent and to feel someone's warmth against him.

• I imagined this once: at one point, Marc told him that all those postcards were not sent by his mother, but written and sent by Marc himself. And Steven would just...sigh, and shrug his shoulders. He would have imagined that. Why would such a terrible mother keep sending him postcards? His mom wouldn't even loved him for who he was, If he had the chance to meet her in person (he kinda did, as a kid, to protect Marc, but her mother wouldn't know it was Steven).

• He keeps action figures of his childhood near his bed. Just to remind him it's okay to feel like a child sometimes.

• Part of his heart breaks when he's the one fronting and sees couples kissing, holding hands, etc. He can feel the cracking sound of it because he can't imagine having a relationship with another person. He would be too broken to be loved, so he looks away and fast walks.

• About that, he still likes romantic novels and romcoms. A part of him wishes to find a love like the one described in "Pride and Prejudice".

• Man once swore while cooking, and he burnt his hand on the fire. He kept cursing to himself, (not usually a thing Steven does), causing him to go into a full mental breakdown mode and also to make Marc front. Steven kept saying how useless he was, how he couldn't even manage to boil some pasta, etc. Marc took the lead so Steven could calm down and let him rest.

• About this headcanon, it revolves before the Moon Knight events: he is very insecure about his eye bags. He knows he has trouble sleeping, but his mind races with insecure thoughts. "Am I not handsome with these on?" He would say, looking into his mirror bathroom, circling his thumb under his eyes.

• Not a sad headcanon: for not a specific reason, I think his favourite song would be "The Logical Song" by Supertramp.

• As a kid, he was very clumsy. He would trip over everything and everyone, and mumble apologies even to things. "My bad, sorry, so sorry, oh gosh, I didn't mean to trip on you!" He would always feel this guilty feeling heaving on his chest. As an adult, he would still do that, not as often as he did as a kid.

#marvel imagine #marvel x reader #moonknight x reader #oneshot #moon knight #steven grant #steven grant x reader #steven grant headcanons #moon knight x reader #steven grant x y/n #steven grant x you #marc spector x y/n #jake lockely x you #moonknight headcanons

[starrayblogs]

Not So Rock-Hearted || Floyd (Trolls) x Reader

a/n: yea... yea this is definitely just gonna be a silly fic so don't expect too much! anyway, have a fun read c: likes and reblogs are appreciated hehe

✩ previous chapter

i. Harmony So New

“Ugh… I know we’re all supposed to live in, like, harmony now, but I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the glitter…” Barb groans, referring to Debbie being covered in glitter again.

You chuckled, setting your guitar down by the couch. “You got invited to another party?”

Barb hums, reading the envelope before saying a soft ‘huh’. “Actually, this is for you. From former King Peppy, it says, " She says, handing the envelope to you. “Kinda weird if you ask me…”

You furrow your brows, taking it from her and ripping the paper to read the letter. As you read the content of the letter, you gasp. You read over the sentence again with wide eyes before placing a hand over your mouth.

“What? What is it? What did he say?” Barb asks, looking over the paper and attempt to read it upside down.

You pull it away and smile happily at Barb. “You remember my best friend that I told you I thought was taken away?”

“Yeah?”

“She’s alive!” You exclaim, posing with rockstar hands in the air with a grin. Barb stammers before making a quick ‘yeah!’ and striking the same pose.

“That’s great! Where’d they find her?” Barb asks, breaking from the pose to point at your letter on the floor.

“The letter said that I should just go to the location on the postcard to meet her…” You reply, pulling out a postcard for ‘Vacay Island’ from the envelope. “Haven’t seen this place.” You say looking at the picture.

“Think I’ve seen that sunset before… C’mon, I’ll get ya a ride.” Barb punches your shoulder and you smirk.

“Sunsets happen all the time, of course, you’ve seen that sunset before.” You remark.

“What the…” You mumble on the back of the motor, looking at the postcard to the identical sunset with the ‘Wish You Were Here’ even in the air.

“Told ya I’ve seen that sunset before!” Barb yells from in front of you as she drives to the cliff's edge at top speed.

You two cheer as you fly through the air and successfully land on the sand, continuing your drive up to this cantina.

“This where they told you to come?” Barb asks, parking the bike and removing her helmet. You remove yours too and set it on the seat.

“Yup.” You say, but you stop in your place and stare into the entrance of the cantina. You can hear singing, and you can deduce that the pop trolls are doing that.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Barb places a hand on your arm.

“I… What if she doesn’t remember me? Viva, I mean. Like, I- It’s been years since we last saw each other!” You doubt this possible reunion and take a step back. “What if I was left behind in her memory too..?” You mumble, looking down and cupping your hands.

“Hey, hey. Don’t say stuff like that, dude.” Barb reassures you, patting both your arms. “You two were best friends, right? Who’d forget a cool best friend like you? C’mon, have you seen me gettin’ amnesia about you?” She chuckles, and you let out a huffed laugh.

You raise your head with a small smile. “You’re right…”

“Let’s get in and let’s find your friend! I smell nachos, so we should get some too.” Barb lets go of your arms and casually walks forward. You watch her back for a bit before running up to her pace, entering the cantina together.

As you walk through the cantina filled with giant vacaytioners partying in the water, you hear a shriek.

“Viva! Viva, get up here! We’re in the baaaand!” Your eyes soften at the sound of someone else calling her name. Your eyes meet Barb’s before you two hurriedly try to get closer to the stage.

Another pop song plays by the time you reach the stage. There she is.

Your eyes water and your lips tremble, but you smile. “Oh my gosh, Barb, it’s her!” You excitedly point at your childhood best friend before placing your hands over your chest in relief.

“Crazy cool hair she’s got.” Barb gives a nod of approval.

You watch her perform with Queen Poppy and Branch, along with four other trolls you don’t remember seeing at the World Tour. They look related to Branch, considering they have the same skin color. Aside from that, one of them has dark green hair, the other has bright green, one of them has purple hair, and-

“Hey, I like that pink guy’s hair.” Barb comments when you reach the unfamiliar troll with pink hair in your head.

“Yeah, he kinda looks like us…” You comment. Actually, he looks a bit like cotton candy.

“But soft… Soft rock?” Barb turns to you confused.

“Is that a thing?” You raise a brow before you two shrug together. Your eyes go back to Viva as she and the others continue to perform.

When they strike a pose, the music stops, and the other trolls cheer. You watch her hug Queen Poppy, squealing with joy.

“That was so fantastamazing!” She laughs, giving Queen Poppy a tight hug.

Barb nudges you and then nods her head to Viva. You press your lips into a line nervously.

“You got this…” Barb whispers, patting a hand on your arm. “You weren’t left behind, I’m sure of it.”

Your eyes soften, and you smile at Barb. You look back at the stage and inhale deeply before stepping closer to the platform.

“Viva?” You call her name. She hears your voice and looks your way, setting Queen Poppy down.

“Oh my gosh, I have a fan already! This really is my dream life!” Viva squeals, rushing up to you and waving. “Hi, I can totally sign my autograph!”

Your chest tightens a bit when she doesn’t recognize you right away, but you keep up your smile. “Ah… Well, you could put it like that… But, Viva, don’t you remember me?”

“Huh?” She tilts her head with a raised brow. The other trolls on the stage are huddling and whispering to each other in your foresight.

“It’s me, Viva… Viva la amigas..?” You utter the phrase you two would tell each other as kids. She gasps, placing her hands over her mouth. Your eyes brighten, and your lips crack into a smile. She remembers.

“It’s you…” She says, reaching her hands out to you. She echoes your name when you interlock fingers. She squeals and pulls you up to the stage unexpectedly, squeezing you tightly in a hug. “It’s you! I thought I lost you too!”

You grin and hug her back, just as tight. “Viva, I can’t believe you’re alive!”

“I can’t believe you’re here! A-and, you look so..!” She sets you down and waves her hands up and down to refer to your appearance. “I don’t even recognize you!”

You chuckle and flip your hair. The rock trolls really did give you a makeover. Your hair’s more messy, and it’s two-toned. You highlighted your hair with your favorite color to give your natural hair some color. Your fashion is way different from the pop style; you’ve got more wear, tear, and spikes. You wear smokey eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara just like Barb taught you. You got a few piercings too. Yet you never really did anything with your vibrant skin, so you always stood out in a crowd of desaturated rock trolls.

“You look so cool!” Viva comments, and you laugh.

“Oh, stop, look at you! You look amazing, I love your hair!” You motion to it, and she giggles.

Queen Poppy approaches from behind Viva. “Uhh, do you know her Viva?” She asks.

“Oh, Poppy!” Viva says, stepping away from Poppy to wrap an arm around you. “This is my childhood best friend! I didn’t think she’d be here!”

“Oh!” The Queen says, surprised. “Well, hello! You already know who I am, but I’m Viva’s sis-”

“Sister? Yeah, I know. Veev told me all about you when we were kids, Queen Poppy.” You smirk.

She blinks and giggles, flicking a wrist at you. “A friend of Viva is a friend of mine! You can call me Poppy.” She says.

You smile and nod your head.

“Anyway, why are you here? I don’t remember sending invitations to the other trolls.” Poppy asks.

“Your father sent me an invite. I came as soon as I read it.” You explain. “Barb’s with me too.” You turn your head to where Barb should be but find her nowhere. Until you hear her rock’n’roll cry somewhere, and you see her munching on nachos.

“We have so much catching up to do! I can’t wait to go back home and talk to you all day again.” Viva says with a smile, but you frown. You take a step away.

“I… Viva, we have different homes now. I don’t live in Pop Village anymore.” You tell her, even motioning to yourself. “It’s not my home.”

“What…” Viva frowns. “But then, where do you stay?”

“I stay in Volcano Rock City. Barb took me in, and she made me one of her own, and I can’t thank her enough for it.” You smile gratefully, but you step forward to take Viva’s hand in yours.

“But how will we make candy necklaces we’ll never finish because we keep eating the candy..?”

“I’ll visit every weekend… I promise we’ll have enough time to catch up.” You reassure her, patting her hands in yours.

She looks at your conjoined hands for a moment before nodding her head. “Okay… I’ll see you every weekend.” She surprises you by pulling you into a hug again. “I’m just so happy to see you again.”

“Me too, amiga. Me too.” You hug her back.

“So… Are we expecting any other reunion?” The troll with dark green hair breaks the moment.

“Yeah, it’s like reunion season.” The one with purple hair adds. You and Viva slowly pull away from the hug.

“There are different kinds of trolls?” The one with bright green hair asks. You let out a small hum, crossing your arms.

“Yeah. There are loads of other trolls.” You comment.

“And you are a..?” The pink hair drags out his sentence for you to answer.

“I’m a rock troll.” You demonstrate by pulling your guitar to the front and playing a sick riff. “You,” you motion the headstock to the rest of them, “are pop trolls.” You smirk, placing your guitar back and introducing yourself.

The others follow. The dark green hair is John Dory, or you can call him JD; the light green hair is Clay; the purple hair is Bruce; and the pink hair is Floyd. Branch follows by introducing that these are his brothers. You hum in thought.

“Sick hair, Floyd. Ruffle it up, and you might just look like me.” You smirk, crossing your arms. His eye widens, and there’s a shy smile on his face.

“Thank you…” Your lashes flutter for a moment, surprised by how gentle his voice is.

“Man! You look so cool, I can’t believe Dad hid another secret from me! Other trolls, other music?” Viva throws her hands in the air before placing them on her hips, catching your attention. “I am so telling him off again later.”

You chuckle. “I wish I could stick around for it.”

Viva giggles and starts to drag you to the bar where Barb is eating nachos, passing by that pink-haired troll with his eye on you.

✩ next chapter

#✩ starraywrites #✩ starraywrites nsrh #✩ starraywrites not so rock hearted #✩ starraywrites trolls band together #✩ starraywrites trolls #trolls #trolls band together #trolls floyd #floyd trolls #trolls floyd x reader #floyd x reader #yes #finally u two meet #i really did mean my a/n #this is gonna be a silly romance fic #so dont expect alot!

[orangeinecstasy]

Can we do BF thoughts Luke 🤍🖤

luke bf thoughts ⋆ฺ｡*:･

an: i'm so glad you guys are loving this series as much as i love writing it!!! micheal's will (hopefully) but up soon if i don't get super busy. luke is my cheat lane so i might've gotten a little carried away... enjoy!

fluff and nsfw sections included!

so much hand holding he always wants to be touching you

big pet names user. always puts "my" in front of it. i know for a fact that his favorite pet name you use for him is pretty boy

dates to music/record stores

panting each others nails

he love love loves when you do his makeup. especially before shows!!! he would 100% brag about how much he loves it while he's on stage

an ungodly amount of songs written about you

power naps together on the couch in his studio

matching converse

dinners with the other guys and their partners

weekend coffee runs

brunch every sunday especially before he leaves for tour

so many dad selfies of him when he's on tour

would totally FaceTime you to show you something that reminded him of you

sends you a postcard from every city he preforms in

annotated book swap before tour so you guys have another thing to chat about during your nightly calls

constantly asking your opinions on lyrics or melodies

such a little spoon. loves how safe you make him feel and when you play with his hair or scratch his arms, back, etc

matching jewelry

random texts or calls just because he wants to talk to you

matching for every holiday-- halloween, christmas, etc

making playlists for each other

nsfw section under the pictures

oh my god he's a munch. if he's a bad day he's eating you out, but especially if you've had a bad day, within minutes of you being in the house he's between your legs

soft and slow make outs

bondage with silky ribbons

switch with a large pleasure/soft dom lean

edging!!! he loves hearing you whine and rut into him

marking!!! loves when your lips stick marks stain his face and neck, especially if it's before a show. doesn't mind putting some lipstick on and giving you them too.

constantly fucking you when you're wearing his clothes. it just turns him on so much knowing that you chose to put something of his on

such good aftercare omg

very very vocal-- always wants to know how good you're making him feel

loves blowjobs, but not just because his dick is in your mouth. he loves watching you work, the way you sit between his legs and look up at him and how your lips get all plump and messy. the way you react when his hips buck up into you or his grip tightening around your hair. he can't get enough of it-- he can't get enough of you

i don't think he would be into food play, but there was 100% a situation with some whipped cream

hair pulling

so so so much dirty talk

king of quickies

slight exhibitionist vibes-- eating you out in a friend's bathroom, fucking in the green room before a show. he just finds it thrilling that someone else could find out how good he makes you and only you feel

so so so sweet but definitely possessive. you're his and he's yours and he wouldn't have it any other way

#5 seconds of summer #5sos #5 secs of summer #5sos fanfic #5sos imagine #5sos images #5sos smut #5sos fluff #5sos x reader #luke 5sos #luke hemmings 5sos #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings #luke hemmings fanfic #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings fluff #luke hemmings angst #calum 5sos #calum hood 5sos #calum hood #calum hood x reader #calum hood fanfic #calum hood imagine #calum hood smut #calum hood fluff #calum hood angst #ashton 5sos #ashton irwin 5sos #ashton irwin

[rose-pearls]

You're losing me

Inspired by the song You're Losing Me from Taylor Swift, that completely destroyed me.

Warnings: angst, cursing, men

Part 2

Top Gun. 

Your father had talked about it every chance he had and now here you were ready to join the new class. Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell had always been a mystery to you, the only time you saw him were at your birthdays and sometimes at Christmas. Your mother would tell you that he had another family, that he preferred and that you shouldn’t hope for him to come back.

And in the end, you did stop, birthdays coming up with only a postcard and after time you didn’t knew what he looked like anymore. The only reason you still heard about him was because of the Navy, everyone knew him and just for that you were getting judged. 

Getting the callsign Fire didn’t help either but slowly you started showing what you were made of and the captain’s stopped comparing you to your father. 

Now heading into Top Gun, you knew it wasn’t going to be easy, even more cocky pilots who thought they were better than you just because they were men. But you had fought that your whole life, not time to stop now. 

The Hard deck was filled with people as you entered with Steph by your side, the two of you had been flying together since the Academy and by some luck got called together. The pool table is surrounded by pilots, and you know immediately that they will be with you. Dress whites and cocky smiles, that will certainly be your class.

Penny introduces herself before telling you that if you have any issues, you can always come to her, and she will handle it. 

“Ready for your first day tomorrow?”, she asks with a knowing grin and the both of you smile at her slightly nervous.

“Not sure what to expect but excited.”, she smiles and before she can answer a costumer arrives.

Steph takes you to the pool table and the other pilots, already getting to know each other. A blond man is talking to another dark-skinned pilot, and you can’t help but admire him, the man is truly handsome. 

“Well, well would you look at that. Two new recruits”, the man says, a cocky smile on his lips and you can’t help but blush slightly under his gaze as he looks at you. Steph scoffs before looking at him unimpressed.

“And you are?” he smirks at her reaction and turns towards what you assume to be his friend.

“Hangman, and this here is Coyote.”, Coyote smiles in response and you nod back.

“What about you two pretty ladies.”, even if he seems to be quite the asshole you can’t help but feel butterflies in your stomach at the sound of his southern accent.

“I’m Thunder and this is Fire.”, that seems to surprise the two of them, just for a moment. It’s the typical reaction, your last name was quite known just like Steph as her father was Cyclone.

“Two legacies then. We’ll see what you ladies can do in the air and if you didn’t just get in because of your father’s names.”, he smirks, like a cat that got the cream, and you can’t help but scowl at his insinuation.

“I don’t know what you are insinuating Bagman but don’t go there.”, you tell him, and he looks at you surprised for a moment, the quiet chatter around the pool table has stopped and everyone is looking at the two of you wondering what was going to happen.

“Hangman.”, he tells you with a smirk as he comes incredibly close to you, which means you have to lift your head in order to look him in the eyes.

“Whatever.”, you say before turning around towards Steph who is smiling like a proud mother.

Hangman leaves to join his friends again and even if you do not like the man after this first meeting you can’t help but feel butterflies at the sight of him. The butterflies needed to die fast.

“He can be a real pain in the ass.”, a voice tells you and you turn around to see another female pilot.

“Hadn’t figured that out.”, Steph says sarcastically, and you shoot her a look before turning towards the other pilot.

“Well hopefully we won’t have to do this too often. I’m Fire.”, you tell her, and she smiles at your words.

“Unfortunately, he doesn’t give up easily. And I’m Phoenix.”, you had heard about her before but just in passing, you knew about her training accident that gave her, her call sign.

--

The next week had been hell, you thought you were a decent pilot, but your instructors were kicking your ass, it didn’t help that Hangman had somehow decided that he wanted to torment you every day.

“What do you want?”, you can’t help but ask in frustration as you see Hangman waiting for you outside the changing rooms, he has a smirk on his face, and you can’t help but think he looks handsome like this.

“Relax, just wanted to ask you if you wanted to go out and drink something.”, the words surprise you and you must be showing your surprise as Hangman looks at you with a knowing smile.

“Common, I know you find me attractive, and honestly who could blame you.”, his smirk widens at his words, and you can’t help but blush at the thought of him having seen you checking him out.

“You really are confident aren’t you.”, the stupid smirk doesn’t leave his lips as he comes in front of you, one of his hands going against the wall, trapping you against his body.

“I just know. So, what do you say? You, me tonight?”, you try to focus on the words, you really do but the closeness is just a lot, the smell of his cologne is soft after having worn it all day long, but it still smells the same.

“Sure, why not.”, you try to say confidently but your voice quivers a little and Hangman’s smirk widens.

“Perfect, let’s go.”, he doesn’t give you time to react before leaving the spot and turning around, leaving you there trying to regain your senses. After a second or two you start moving and following him towards his car. 

The ride is awkward at first before he starts talking about today’s hop and you can’t help but start talking about the instructor and how he was getting on your last nerve, making him laugh.

The Hard deck was quieter then the first day and as you enter it you see Penny looking at you curiously, but you ignore it, instead following him to one of the tables.

“So, tell me about yourself.”, he simply says as Penny gives you your drinks and you look at him slightly surprised.

“There isn’t really anything to know, I’m an only child, grew up in California with my mother and when I was old enough, I decided to enlist in the Navy.”, Hangman nods at your words and looks at you with curious eyes.

“Common, I’m sure there must be something that you are hiding.”, he says with a smirk, and you roll your eyes.

“What do you want to know?”, this makes him smile and he takes a moment to think before answering.

“What is something that practically no one knows.”, the question was quite intimate, but you guessed that it was normal to move quickly towards these types of questions.

“I have two tattoos, one on my ribs and the other on my ankle.”, he seems to take a moment to process the information and you can’t help but chuckle at his silence before a smirk appears.

“Aren’t you full of surprises.”, you roll your eyes at his words before asking him the same question and he looks unsure for a bit.

“I lived in Texas, on a ranch my whole life and before I decided to join the Navy, I had never seen a real plane before.”, this makes you look at him in surprise and for a moment he seems sheepish.

“I need to hear all the stories of you at the ranch.”, he laughs in answer before thinking and starting a story of one of the horses.

The rest of the night is spent talking, laughing and reminiscing about your childhood. Hangman, or Jake as he had asked you to call him seemed to be a completely different person after a few hours. More relaxed, less trying to put on a front and you couldn’t help but like the person that you were seeing in front of you.

“Well, this was fun.”, you say softly when the two of you get back to your housing and Jake smiles softly, there is something in his eyes that you can’t decipher but you let it go.

“It was, we should do it again.”, he says, and you can’t help but smile brightly at the idea of him wanting to do this again.

“I would love to.”, you tell him, and a small smile appears on his lips.

“Are you free tomorrow?”, you can only nod in answer, too busy looking into his green eyes and before you know it, he kisses your cheek softly. 

“Good night.”, he whispers softly, and he seems to be ready to leave before you stop him.

“Leaving without a good night kiss.”, you tease him, and he looks surprised for a moment before a small smirk appears.

“Your wish is my command.”, he tells you and you can’t help but laugh at the words before feeling his soft lips on yours. He is delicate, sweet even as he kisses you and the two of you stay there for a moment before he stops the kiss.

“Sleep well.”, he tells you softly, and you nod slowly and tell him to do the same before entering your room and silently jumping up and down in excitement after that night.

--

It had all been going well, the two of you were seeing each other every two days and it was going well until one day you didn’t see Jake and decided to go to his apartment.

He answered at the first knock, but he looked worn out, dark bags under his eyes and he was looking distressed as he stood there.

“Are you okay?”, you ask him softly and Jake takes a deep breath, probably to say that he was but you take a step closer and take a look at him, making sure he was alright. 

“I’m not.”, he manages to whisper, and you whisper his name before taking him into your arms and letting him break down. 

The sobs were breaking your heart and he was holding you as close as he could, like he was somehow scared that you would leave but you held him just as close. 

After what felt like hours he started to calm down and you looked at him with worried eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?”, you asked slowly, and Jake shook his head, rubbing a hand over his face.

“I’m sorry, you didn’t have to do all of this.”, he says, his voice breaking over the words after crying.

“What? Comfort you? Jake that wasn’t an issue at all, I’m here for you.”, you whisper, and Jake closes his eyes at the words.

“I just-”, you let him figure out the words, knowing that he needs to find them on his own and after a moment he lets out a sigh.

“I’m not used to someone doing that.”, he whispers, so quiet that you nearly don’t hear it but when you do you can’t help but get closer to him.

“it’s scary at first to open up to someone but I’m here to stay Jake, talk to me.”, he looks unsure but after a moment he lets out a shaky breath and you take his hand in yours.

“My parents were never really the cuddling type; my mother preferred a bottle of wine as company and my father his mistresses. Most of the time my father would ignore me and the times he didn’t it was to tell me some stupid shit.”, the words make your blood go cold and you squeeze his hand in reassurance.

“I left immediately when I was able to, haven’t seen them since then but sometimes I still have nightmares.”, a tear rolls down his cheek and you immediately bring him back into an embrace, holding him close and trying to reassure him.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, you didn’t deserve that. If there is anything I can do just tell me.”, you whisper, and Jake holds you tighter.

“Just stay.”, he whispers and clings to you as if he is scared that he was going to lose you.

You spent the rest of the night there, holding him until it was time to get ready, but he stayed close to you all day long. It was weird seeing him like this, but it showed you a more vulnerable side to him that you will always protect, make sure that no one would hurt him again.

--

The final hop was close, and Jake had gone back to his cocky self, flaunting his points to everyone and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes and smile at his antics. 

Sure, he wasn’t perfect, but he was Jake, and that was enough for you. Somehow you believed it had been enough for him too.

What an idiot you were. 

“So Seresin when are you going to drop the girl?”, you hear someone say and you can’t help but freeze in your steps, you had wanted to get some fresh air, but the words made you stop.

“What do you mean Cody?”, it seemed like some of the boys had gotten together to talk, recognizing Coyote, and two other pilots in your class.

“I mean that you won the bet, you asked her out and kissed her. I think it’s time you let the poor girl go.”, the words hit you like a knife in the back, a bet. 

“Didn’t you tell him that he would win 50 dollars more if he got her to go to bed with him? Maybe he is waiting for that.”, Coyote says, and you feel sick at the words.

“I don’t think I will go that far. She is nice and all but not really my type.”, you hear Jake, no Hangman say, and you feel anger coming up as the conversation plays over and over again in your mind.

“Well, at least you got fifty dollars out of it and our respect.”, the two other pilots say, and you want to throw a punch at one of them.

“Fifty dollars? That’s low for you Fishman.”, you hear yourself say and the four of them turn to look at you, eyes wide in fear as your look at them with cold eyes.

“Fire, good to see you.”, he tries to start, stammering over his words but you scoff at his words.

“Don’t bullshit me, get the fuck out of here before I make sure you don’t have any balls left of the small ones you have.”, the two men seem to take that as their cue to leave and hurry back into the Hard Deck. 

Hangman and Coyote are looking at you with mixes of horror etched on their faces.

“I can explain.”, Hangman starts but you let out a laugh, as cold as the ice you had pressed against one of his wounds just a few days ago.

“I’m sure you can but let’s see if I got it right.”, you say before stepping down the peer and approaching the both of them.

“You made a bet about me, betting fifty bucks that you could swoop me of my feet and kiss me before Top Gun was over but later on, they saw that you did it and thought why not add fifty more bucks to see if you could get me to sleep with you. Am I wrong?”, you ask him, and Hangman looks at the ground, shame in his eyes.

“Am. I. Wrong?”, you ask, this time raising your voice, unable to keep your emotions in check any longer. Hangman and Coyote both flinch at your tone and you glare at them.

“No.”, Hangman barely whispers, and you scoff at his answer. The silence following is long, and Hangman opens his mouth multiple times, but nothing comes out.

“Was any of it real?”, you can’t help but ask, your voice wrecked from all of the emotions running through you.

“I’m sorry. It was a bet at the beginning but then I got to know you and-”, he continues to ramble, and you shake your head.

“Stop.”, you whisper, feeling tears in your eyes as you close them, trying to regain your strength.

“I know it was wrong alright, from the moment I saw you.”, he tries to say but you scoff and turn to look at him.

“You had a choice! You had one and chose to still go through with it. You chose to talk shit back there and tell them I wasn’t your type.”, he flinches at your words, but you can’t stop. 

“You lied, made me believe you had feelings for me when in fact you did not. And for what? Fifty fucking bucks.”, you yell, tears brimming in your eyes and Hangman takes a deep breath, but he doesn’t say anything else. 

You wait for him to say something, but he doesn’t, just stay there and you can’t help but feel helpless. 

You leave, unable to still look at him and as you leave you silently hope for him to stop you, to try and win you back even if you wouldn’t take him back. But he doesn’t say anything.

-

And I'm fading, thinking

Do something, babe, say something (say something) Lose something, babe, risk something (you're losing me) Choose something, babe, I got nothing (I got nothing) To believe, unless you're choosing me

-

Steph is the one to hold you that night, trying to console you while probably plotting his murder in her mind. 

“I should have listened to you.”, you whisper at one point, and she looks at you with sadness in her eyes.

“For once I wished, I hadn’t been right about this.”, she whispers, and a sob leaves your lips at her words. Unable to stop the memories from coming back with him, trying to push them back but ultimately you fail.

--

You could’ve stayed in bed that morning, trying to mourn something that wasn’t real from the start, but you couldn’t give them the satisfaction. It was after all the last hop; it would be now or never to prove yourself. 

Steph stayed by your side, looking at you with worried eyes but you ignored her. Moving towards your plane, ignoring everyone who was looking at you.

Hangman hadn’t done well on his last hop, not that you were watching but you had heard everyone whisper about it. You managed to get full points, the anger making you even more brutal than you usually were in the air. 

Admiral Cain had congratulated you as he gave you the Top Gun trophy, but you didn’t feel a single emotion, still feeling like someone had pushed you under water and you couldn’t get out.

The time you did come back was when Hangman tried to approach you, but you turned around to try and leave but he quickly stopped you.

“Please.”, he whispers, and you look at him, he looked like shit but at that moment you didn’t care. You just wanted to hurt him just as much as he had hurt you.

“I’m sorry, I know I did something unforgivable, but you have to believe me when I tell you that it wasn’t all a lie. I fell for you through the hours we spent together, and I know I fucked up but please, give me another chance.”, he was pleading, nearly with his knees on the floor but you looked at him, eyes devoid of emotions.

You take something out of your pocket, fifty dollars. 

“They gave it to me after you refused it. Said that I at least deserved to get it.”, he looks pained at your words, but you don’t care.

He tries to say something, but you shake your head.

“It’s too late.”, you whisper, and he shakes his head at your words, looking at you with sad green eyes.

“You just need to think about it, just for a moment.”

“I don’t, we are done. You made your choices now you need to take responsibility, accept it and move on.”, you whisper, and he looks destroyed, but you ignore it, taking his hand and putting the fifty-dollar bill in his hand.

“This is yours.”, a tear rolls down his cheek but this time you don’t comfort him, you let go of his arm and turn around to leave. 

“You promised you would stay.”, he whispers, and you feel a tear leaving your blinking eyes.

“And you told me you had feelings for me.”, you say, unable to look at him.

“Guess we are both liars.”, a sob leaves his lips, but you turn around, seeing Coyote arriving, knowing that someone was there to take care of him.

Rain started falling as you entered your car and a sob left your lips as you gripped the steering wheel. You knew you had made the right choice, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell.

-

You're losing me Stop (Stop, stop), you're losing me Stop (Stop, stop), you're losing me I can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore

#top gun x reader #top gun fanfiction #top gun imagine #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin fanfiction #jake seresin x you #jake hangman x you #jake hangman x reader #top gun movie

[the-kr8tor]

Hello can you please do a jealous Hobie x reader

Where they were out at a party while at the party reader just happened to see one of her male best friends and they're like in a back room smoking together and Hobbit just happens to walk in to see readers male best friend blowing smoke in her mouth 😊🥰

You don't have to put in the smoking pot if you don't want to 😊😋

Hello hun! Thank you for your request! I changed some things, hope you don't mind!

Some drinking and smoking, a lot of cursing. 1.2k

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

You feel lightheaded, the booming music pounds into your skull, coupled with the bright strobe lights, and people screaming over the loud music trying to hear each other, you feel your social battery draining with every clink of glass.

Partying seemed like a good time for the first two hours of being there, but as the night continues on, you just want to go to bed, and wash the smell of cheap beer off of you.

The only good thing about this is spending time with Hobie.

You wince when another screech of a guitar riff booms out of the speakers, you lean towards Hobie's ear, an excuse falling on your lips.

"I'm gonna go to the loo for a bit"

"Sure, love. I'll watch your drink" Hobie moves your pint closer to his while he continues talking to his friend.

You slide off the booth, fixing your shirt. Weaving through the sea of people, you try to avoid crashing into them, the wc sign looks like a beacon, beckoning you for a much needed reprieve.

Suddenly you hear your name getting called, or rather screamed at you. You do a 180 trying to find who called you.

"Here! On your right!"

You're not sure if that was for you, still you looked to your right. Lo and behold you see your old high school mate, peeking behind the doors to the bar's balcony.

"David! Is that you?!" You squint trying to find his distinguishable features.

"Yeah! Get your arse over here!" He opens the door fully for you.

Scrambling towards the door, you try to push past dancers. Finally entering the balcony, your best friend hugs you tightly, slightly lifting you off the floor. You giggle at your reunion.

"Holy shit, duck! Long time no see!" He pulls away, taking a good look at you. "I haven't seen you since graduation! You look fucking fit!"

"Shut it, you arse!" you playfully slap his arm.

"Come, it's quieter over there" he leads you towards the railings, bringing out a fancy case of smokes. "You want a ciggie?" He offers you one. You take it.

You whistle at the fancy engravings on the cigarette case.

"Wow, Daddy dearest is still paying your bills? You daddy's boy" you tease him as he helps you light your cigarette with a matching lighter to the fancy case. "Fucking hell, even the lighter!"

"Shut up! It was a gift!" He teasingly shoves you. "Do you remember when we used to sneak around chain smoking in our attic?"

"Yeah, we almost burned your dad's postcard collection" you laugh at the memory.

"So how're you?"

You two get to talking, exchanging stories, remembering fond memories, until you get to talking about your love life.

"Ooh, little duckie has a man" he jokingly blows smoke on your face.

Meanwhile Hobie leans against the doorway, watching the interaction. He got worried when you didn't come back to the table. Basically searching the entire bar, he finally found you cozying up to an unknown man.

See Hobie isn't usually a jealous person, whenever someone flirts with you, while he's sidled up close to you, egging them on.

"Can I have that drink too?"

"Oh shit, look at that black card, you're loaded bruv"

"She has two left feet, I'm available though"

"Mate, you like the Ramones too? What's your favourite song?"

"Oof, nice shoes bruv"

He does this because he trusts you fully, at the end of the day, he's the one who goes home with you. Of course whenever someone gets a little too touchy, or invades your personal space, he jumps to being protective. If they don't let up, he's more than ready to square up.

When he sees the blond blowing smoke on your face as you giggle, it's the same smile you give him, he sees the man lightly push your shoulder. Something snaps at him, his ears ring, he didn't even catch what the man said.

Hobie stomps towards you, not noticing him, you continue on smiling and talking to your friend.

Feeling a familiar arm snaking around your waist, you look towards Hobie, His eyes glare angrily at your friend, a dark aura emanates from him.

Hobie's knuckles shake as he clenches it tighter, he's ready to strike.

Noticing his emotion, you quickly try to douse his anger, but he opens his mouth before you.

"Who the fuck are you?" He holds on to your waist tighter "and why the fuck are you flirting with her?"

Some nosy people start looking towards your way. You try to speak up, but again David beats you to it.

"I'm guessing this is your man? I'm David a –"

"Fuck off, David" he barks out "stay the fuck away" he angrily points at your friend.

David gestures in surrender "alright, mate, calm down, she's all yours" Hobie already turned his back away. David winks at you, thank god, Hobie didn't catch that.

Hobie guides you by your hand, you try to explain but he couldn't hear you through the blaring music.

He brings you outside, Hobie heads towards an alley, you follow closely behind, trying to get his attention.

"Hobie! Will you stop?"

Hobie kicks an abandoned box, sending it flying across the alley.

"Shit, I'm sorry" he breathes heavily, his left eye twitches. "Fuck, you okay?" Hobie finally turns towards you.

"Yeah, are you okay? I've never seen you so angry" you cross the gap between you, you tentatively try to hold him. "Just breathe" your hands hover over his arms.

He takes a deep breath, slowly calming down. Hobie pinches the space between his eyes.

"Better?" You rub his arms lovingly.

"Yeah" he avoids your eyes, his eyebrows still knit together in anger.

You can finally explain everything "Hey, David's a close friend of mine since highschool, trust me you don't have to worry about him" you hug his torso.

"I'm not jealous"

"Sure, of course not" you cup his jaw, he finally looks you in the eye.

"I'm not bloody jealous" he huffs, looping his fingers through the belt loop of your jeans, bringing you closer to him.

"I know" you placate him "but hypothetically if you were, you don't have to worry, you're it for me, babe"

You move your hands over his neck, guiding him down towards your face. "Whether it's an old friend, or some stranger, know that they'll never replace you in my life, I love you Hobie Brown, never forget that"

Hobie looks into your eyes, searching for an ounce of dishonesty, he found none, except for love and affection towards him.

He drops his forehead on yours, savoring all the love that oozes out of you. You close your eyes as you rub circles over his neck, trying to ease the tension folded into his muscles.

"Love you too. let's go home, yeah?" He reluctantly pulls away, holding your gaze.

You nod enthusiastically, "does that love extend to apologizing to David?" You ask, testing the waters.

Hobie tilts his head, with a slight glare, non verbally saying 'why would I do that?'

Understanding what he means, you continue "I invited him to lunch tomorrow" you smile, gauging his reaction.

Hobie drops his head on your shoulder with a slight thump, he groans, realizing he needs to make peace with your friend.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

Hope you liked it angel! Thank you again for requesting, and for being patient ❤️❤️❤️

#request done #ahh my first request fulfilled ❤️ #hobie brown x reader #spider punk x reader #spider punk #hobie brown #x reader #atsv fanfiction #spider man across the spider verse #the kr8tor's creations #hobie brown x fem!reader #spider punk x fem!reader #hobie brown x you #spider punk x you #atsv x reader #fanfic

[deathblacksmoke]

call me when you get the chance

pairing: noah sebastian x nick ruffilo x fem reader

cw: polyamorous relationship, long distance yearning, it’s pretty fluffy my friends

taglist: @concretenoah / @ladyveronikawrites / @lma1986 / @monotoniscreaming / @xxrainstorm / @agravemisstake

let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future fics!

author’s note: thank you lady v once again for the beta; i added some pitt back in just for you. and thank you @darksigns-exe for the poly boyfriends brainworms. no smut in here - wild change of pace. and i’ll probably be writing more little bits of these sweet babes at some point 🤍 i got euclid on the brain so title from that, obvi. enjoy!

**************************************************************

Nick sends a postcard from every city.

Missing you from Atlanta! Love, Nicholas.

It makes you feel warm and loved, every time you open your mailbox to another card from another city, with your partner’s pretty writing on the back.

You imagine him standing in the store for ages, sifting through the cards, trying to pick the perfect one for your gallery wall. You imagine Noah picking one out as a joke, and Nick scoffing, putting it back irritated.

No, man, she’s particular about her wall. Remember?

It makes your chest swell. You long to be there, to play mediator like you do when they’re both home with you. They need it sometimes, and you’re sure Jolly could use the break every now and again.

Noah sends memes. They’re ones you would never see otherwise because you won’t step foot on Twitter, but they make you smile and remind you of him, his stupid sense of humor, and the way his face lights up when he laughs. You close your eyes and imagine it, his eyes scrunching closed with his laugh, and your chest tightens.

They always send a selfie when they get off stage, and another before bed, sometimes a FaceTime if you’re still up. They don’t show you their intertwined hands. They know it makes you jealous and weepy, but you’re so grateful that they have each other. You imagine them kissing when the call ends and you cry anyway.

***

When you couldn’t make it to the show you had all planned for, you thought that was it. Work gets in the way again, sends you out of town, but you’ll see them when they come home to you and all will be okay.

The show looks incredible. You brave social media just this once to see clips of your boys, weep in bed in your hotel room. You stay up late to see them before you sleep—they tell you they wish you were there, they miss you, they love you. You catch a glimpse of a love bite on Nick’s chest and wish it could have come from you. You fantasize about quitting your job. You get closer every day.

The postcard comes two days later, a pop-art rendition of the Pittsburgh skyline, Nick’s little note scrawled across the back. It feels silly to have but you knew he wouldn’t dare to break the tradition he’s created.

Wish you were here! Love always, your Nicholas.

You don’t know how much longer you can go without them, holding back tears as you put the card in its frame, giving it its place on the wall.

You feel helpless and hopeless until you get an email, the airline notifications you had set up on cost changes doing you a solid, for once. Flight to LAX, suspiciously affordable, landing at 2 PM on the 8th of October.

It’s not a question. You don’t think twice. You have the PTO, and your boss can’t possibly deny you again. And if they do, fuck it, you’ll really dig your heels in about them needing another girl working on the tour. You’ll get Lana on your side this time around. They can’t say no to you both.

You book the ticket, arrange a guest list spot with Matt and buzz with excitement in preparation for your surprise.

***

You never tire of watching them perform.

The way Noah owns the stage, running from stage left to stage right, commanding the crowd to chant and jump with him. Nicholas, his long hair swaying with each rock of his neck to the beat of the song. His slender fingers grip the neck of his bass as he bounces his leg, growling backing vocals going straight through you. You wish you could be at every show. You swell with pride and know you couldn’t have picked two better boys to share your life.

You head to the green room when they come back out to say their thank yous and goodbyes. You hate to miss the photo slides but you helped pick most of the photos, anyway. Lots from your private collection and you think maybe you owe some of these people a “you’re welcome.”

Sitting on the old, worn leather couch, you start to panic. You’ve never surprised them before. Noah hates surprises, but you hope at least you’re a good one.

Folio comes through the door first, followed by Jolly, and the door swings back closed. Shocked at first when they see you, Folio’s face breaks out into a huge grin before turning on his heels.

“Yo, Noah, you’re gonna wanna see this—” he yells as he swings the door back open, to reveal Nick, sweaty and looking exhausted, but when his eyes land on you—

“Holy shit,” he whispers.

You can barely make it out above the roar of noise in the hallway. You don’t know where Noah is, but Nick looks as gorgeous as you’ve ever seen him. You need to take a deep breath but find your throat stopping you as your vision starts to blur. The look on his face as he crosses the room to you melts your anxiety in an instant. You haven’t seen him in so long. And he’s here. He’s right here with you.

When he reaches you, he sinks to his knees at your feet. His fingers digging into your thigh, eyes glazed over as he looks up at you, you lean down to meet him halfway.

The feeling of his lips on yours makes you feel dizzy. The feel of the wetness on his cheeks when you cup his face makes you want to sob, but you don’t, you lick into his mouth and bask in the sound of his gasp.

“Where the fuck were you,” he speaks into your mouth when he pulls away from you.

His fingers are gripping your thigh painfully. You know you’ll bruise, you wince, but it’s Nick and you don’t care. You’ll press your fingers there when you get home and you’ll think of him and—

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was flirting with the pretty bartender. I think you’d like her, Nicky, do you think Noah will go for a fourth?”

He’s leaning in for another kiss when you hear the green room door slam back open, thundering steps getting closer and closer until Nick is jostled forward, Noah’s head resting on his shoulder, eyes focused on you.

“You were a very naughty girl, keeping this secret from us,” Noah says, his head angling to press kisses and nip at Nick’s neck. Nick grins and you watch as the hand that was digging into your thigh takes Noah’s hand and laces their fingers.

When you’re far away, it makes you jealous. When you’re right here, when you have them both in front of you, that’s the furthest thing from your mind.

When you kiss Noah and he smiles into it, when the hand not laced with Nick’s threads through your hair, when Nick nips at your neck while Noah kisses you, you’ve never felt more at home.

Because they are your home.

“Nicky let me pick your postcard this time,” Noah tells you when he pulls away.

“You’ll hate it,” Nick says, but he’s grinning as he stands up to rummage through his backpack.

When he returns to you and holds it out, it’s a silly little card, but both their names are signed this time.

Loving you from LA. Love, your Nicholas and Noah.

Noah’s grinning as wide as you’ve ever seen. It’s your favorite of the bunch.

#bad omens fic #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens rpf #nick ruffilo fic #nick ruffilo fanfiction #nick ruffilo rpf #nicholas ruffilo fic #nicholas ruffilo fanfiction #nicholas ruffilo rpf #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian rpf #nick ruffilo x reader #noah sebastian x reader #nicholas ruffilo x reader #noah sebastian x nicholas ruffilo x reader #deathblacksmoke works

[small-sinclair]

Musical Muse

Vincent Sinclair x reader

House of Wax Slasher band!au

Tw: Vincent was in a fire (he’s okay), some hints at sex but nothing graphic described, let me know if I missed anything!

A gift for @im-his-druidess and au by @arkunder

It was Vincent’s first night home for a 7-month-tour around North America. Late night FaceTime calls, texts messages, postcards, poems— it was good to see him home. The penciled in a two-week break for Lester’s doctor appointments and for a mental break. It was good to rest and sleep in for a moment. All three of them needed to recover from the accident—

He takes a deep breath and let it out slowly. He won’t dwell on it. Not now at least. Lester is safe and Bo’s hands were healing. That’s all that matters now.

Vincent tried to be quiet when he entered. He hung his base on the hook and stopped to look at the photos of you both. One of you two in the studio, another in a band shirt, and a lovely one of you and him at the alter, saying your vows.

As soon as he heard your footsteps flying down the steps, he felt his heart pull. “You’re home!” You shouted smiling, leaping up.

He threw his duffel bag on the floor in the doorway just in time to catch you. He spun you around in the air, smiling under his half wooden-plated mask. He blushes as your kisses littered his half-shown face.

“I missed you!” You yelled, giggling as he lowered you back to the floor. He rests his forehead against yours and held your hips just memorize you once more. “I really missed you, Vincent.” You lift your hands and hold his face. “You were gone forever.”

He nods in agreement. He didn’t want to sign anything, not just yet. Vincent didn’t want this moment to be over. Having you back made his unwritten melodies complete and he could hear notes play as he takes you in. You are his muse for most songs after all.

He took your hand and guided it to his mask, gesturing to you to take it off. Your feather-like hands took off his mask slowly and he closed his eyes, shivering at the cool air. His mask hung in your hand, and you smiled when you saw his face. He’s just as beautiful as the day he left you. Your free hand held his scarred cheek, his head leaning into your touch, while your eyes tracing every bit of him. He leaned down and kissed your forehead, your hand, then ending with your lips. He pulled away before holding you close to deepen his kiss.

He has time to make up. Seven whole months without your touch, your embrace… he is a sinner. Your sinner. His deity. He has to find forgiveness.

With ease, he lifts you up, carries you with his arms under your legs, and heads for the bedroom down the hall.

~~~~~~

As you slept on his chest, Vincent held up his song book, writing silently, as a watched eye on you. Your shoulders were bruised with his love and affection like his. He only wanted to be closer to you and more. What praise can he give but love for you?

A song will do.

A song just for you so others can sing praises of you, be followers of you, but none will ever be as faithful and loyal as him.

He hummed the chorus one more time before closing his book just in time for you to wake up. He sat his book aside and laid flat on his back. You nuzzled into his neck and left a small kiss over his adam’s apple. A relaxed sigh escaped his throat as he threw his head to the side.

“Did you miss me?”

He nods, tracing his answer in your skin, ‘Yes.’

“Bed was too cold while you were gone,” you noted, his thumb gently making circles in your back. “But sleeping in your shirt’s comforted me.” You drew a heart in the center of his chest. “I took care of the plants, too. The cactus gave birth so there’s baby cactuses. Guess that makes us grandparents or something.”

He smirks and chuckles.

Silence was warm and comfortable between you two. The soft thumping of his heartbeat made house feel like home again. “…I really missed you,” you murmured. You felt Vincent’s lips in your hair as he pulled you closer to him. In a way, that was him showing that he’s here and you’re safe. “For a while, I went crazy thinking you weren’t coming home. I saw the fire at that wax museum you and your brothers were playing, the wax falling Lester’s back, and they got a video of your mask melting…” your voice trailed as he stiffened at the memory.

If the silence is too loud, he can still hear his baby brother’s voice screaming in pain and agony. Bo and he made dirt out of the inferno, but Lester was trapped, scared and alone. He remember he took off his mask before running back on Bo’s heels; his mask felt too heavy to wear that night. He still sees how bright the orange and yellow flames were as Bo moved wood and metal off his back. He ended up burning some spots on his hands but he doesn’t care. He was just as desperate as Vincent to get their brother out. Each twin took an arm and raced out with him before the museum’s gas could explode. Bo and he cradled their brother then paramedics rushed to his side and took him to the hospital.

He remembered how the world of heavy rock and metal was quiet for the night.

That’s why Bo canceled two weeks of interviews that night, 16 days ago, so they can recover from everything.

He gripped your body tighter and held you closer. You figured he must’ve been scared because he didn’t give you room to wiggle or move. Your hands held his arms and closed your eyes. “I’m happy you’re okay and safe. I’m happy and thankful.”

Vincent made a soft noise, agreeing with you.

“Just want to stay like this and cuddle,” you said, not asking. Luckily he nods in agreement, lifting the blanket up higher over your shoulders.

He didn’t want anything else but this. Vincent wanted you in his arms, in his heart, engraved into his mind. He’ll finish the song and draw a picture of you to put up in the bus. For now, he’ll focus on you and the reality of this feeling.

The sunset over the town like a dream.

#vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair fanfiction #house of wax #house of wax 2005 #house of wax (2005) #house of wax fanfiction #house of wax fanfic #vincent sinclair imagine #vincent sinclair x reader #vinny sinclair #vincent sinclair house of wax #vincent x reader #vincent sinclair x y/n #vincent sinclair x you #vincent sinclair headcanon #sinclair band!au #slasherbland! headcaons #slasher band!au #slasher band au #house of wax imagine #house of wax imagines

[arcielee]

You got all I need.

Summary: Your boyfriend goes all out for your birthday. Paring: chubby!Aegon x you Word Count: 1570 Warnings: Chubby!Aegon, brief mentions of wg, implied sexual situations, hands hands hands, fingering, inappropriate behavior while riding in a vehicle. Author's Note: Thank you to @bucknastysbabe for being my beta reader for this! Happy birthday to @lovelykhaleesiii 💜 This story was inspired by the line, “There's more of you to love.” in her brilliant one-shot A Little Too Tight... Also, for the foreseeable future, every title will be a lyric from Unreal Unearth.💜 Banners & dividers by @cafekitsune

You had always loved his hand; you loved his strong hold and how his thick fingers interlaced with your own, pulling you into the back of the Uber with enough force for you to fall against his chest. Aegon was solid with the welcoming scent of vanilla and cognac cologne that still held to his skin despite the busy day, with a warmth that you could just melt against. 

The entire day had been his idea. 

Aegon was adamant to take you away to celebrate your birthday. He booked a room at one of the many luxury hotels owned by the Targaryen dynasty, a suite with a postcard view of the blue-green waters of The Gullet. The day began with brunch, which you knew to be his favorite meal, and afterwards his large hand enveloped your own, your fingers knitting in a way that would still sweep away your heart, a grinning fool and walking alongside him on the boardwalk until you were both rosy from the sun.  

There was a reprieve back in the room, an afternoon delight that left you both breathless and wanting more, insatiable for him still after all this time, but Aegon seemed determined to make the dinner reservation. He had purchased you a dress, something that complemented your figure in a way that made his pupils swallow the lovely lilac of his eyes when he looked you over; you burned from his gaze, also admiring the fit of his buttoned up shirt and slacks on his thicker frame. 

He pulled you in for a chaste kiss, a saucy confirmation that you were wearing the lace set underneath. When you nodded, he kissed you again with a murmured, “Good girl,” and Aegon, ever the gentleman, offered you his elbow. “Come on, pretty girl.” 

You giggled, you hand tucking into the crook of his arm, and he escorted you out to the awaiting Uber. Night was settling over Driftmark and the man made lights began to glow for the nightlife, with the sea rolling a cool breeze from its coastline. 

The restaurant he had chosen had a renowned drag show and you were enthralled with the floorshow; your cheeks pink from the sun, from your strawberry mojitos, from singing along to the pop songs performed and marveling at the swell of colors of elaborate costumes. Aegon made sure to have cash in hand to tip the ladies, and they flocked towards him, vocally swooning over your “big man.” 

“Honey,” one popped her painted lips into the microphone, the shimmer of glitter across her cheekbones, “he is thicker than a Snickers!” And the other queens crowed in agreement. 

Aegon blushed from the attention, a mixture of flattery and the fleeting glimmer of self-consciousness that also tainted his handsome features.

You two were sweethearts since uni; Aegon had enrolled with his family connections partnered with a rugby scholarship, which suited his broad shoulders and defined chest, and you were a hapless student among the masses of school spirit whenever your academic schedule allowed. 

You had always noticed him, as he was impossible to miss with his strong jawline and his silver hair knotted at the base of his neck, how his eyes glittered with his roguish smile. It was one night during a celebratory party of another victory that you allowed your liquored courage to ask for his phone and save your number under the name: prettiest pussy.  

This, of course, was something you did not recall until he texted you the next morning, along with a screenshot to accompany his claim. You burned with embarrassment, swearing off cheap tequila forever, but he had been sweet and asked to take you out on a date. 

And this is how you learned that brunch was his favorite. 

You two became inseparable even after he graduated, and with you following two years later. It had been easy to fall in love with Aegon and his big heart, and he was all-consumed by you, but as the years continued there was a newfound insecurity that flared in a way that you loathed. 

No longer an undergraduate, rugby was not a massive part of his day-to-day life, and there was a softness to his center; in truth, you loved him as you watched him clean his plate of French toast with sliced bananas and walnuts, drenched in syrup, and you loved him now, if not even more. There was a comfort to his embrace, something that allowed you to melt against him with a sultry whisper in his ear, “There is just more of you for me to love,” and it would dispel any hesitation he felt. 

But tonight you saw it lingered still. 

Now you were cuddled up against Aegon in the backseat of the SUV, listening to the soft curses from your Uber driver dealing with the standstill traffic. You did not mind it though, enjoying the cool air from the windows rolled down and your head resting on his chest, your leg draped over his thick thigh. Your hand was on his belly with the slow motion to rub away the meal and he groaned, trying to shy away from your touch. 

“Stop it,” you moved to whisper in his ear, smiling as you watch his skin prickle with your words. “Everyone wanted you tonight, but I am the lucky one who gets to take you back to bed.” 

The blue glow of the dashboard showed how his lips curled. “Is that so?” He asked, his arm curling around your waist and pulling you closer. 

Your eyes were heavy, dropping to see the inviting bulge between his thighs, a warmth curling in your lower abdomen. “It is,” and you held his own hooded gaze, watching his cheeks darken with the flush of red. Your hand moved to touch his jaw and you leaned to kiss him. 

Aegon responded to you, a sweet sigh, and his clever tongue curling against your own, the leftover taste of the strawberry mojitos that stained your lips. His kiss was fearsome, drawing the very breath from your lungs and leaving you lightheaded, giggling against his lips. 

You sighed again at his touch to your thigh, his palms still rough from rugby, still gentle as always, dipping between your legs. His kiss swallowed your soft gasp when you felt the pads of his finger pressing against the damp patch of the lace underwear. 

“Fuck, is this for me?” His voice was husky, heavy with want, and he encircled your clothed cunt slowly, the sensation curling at the base of your spine.

You nod quickly and he shifts his weight, pulling you closer, his hot mouth pressing a kiss to the soft divot beneath your ear. You shuddered in response, biting your bottom lip between your teeth, a pitiful attempt to smother a moan.

He was quick to playfully pinch your hip with his other hand. “We cannot disturb the driver, pretty girl,” his breath tickling the curve of your neck. “Can you be quiet for me while I play with your pretty pussy?”  

Your eyes are glassy and you nod again; Aegon gives a cheeky grin before capturing your lips for another kiss, a whispered, “Good girl,” that fans your jawline as you feel his fingers pulling aside the lace. 

There is another wave of arousal with how his fingers ghost your entrance, your body desperate for him, for his touch, and his smile remains, but now smug. It is a stretch with one digit, but he pushed for two, their tandem motion curling against that sweet spot within you that allows stars to dance across your vision. 

You bury your face into the soft curve of his neck, your teeth sinking into his flesh and sucking to muffle your cry. Aegon groaned, low, a rumbled vibration through his chest that you are flushed against, but it does not stop the come hither motion of his fingers. 

His wrist angles to allow his thumb to press against the bundle of nerves above, his familiar touch to your clit and your involuntary clench. “Aegon,” you whined softly against his skin, your hips rutting in response. 

He does not answer you but kisses you again, something desperate, as if he is trying to draw the release deep within. His lips pulled you to the precipice, the flutter of your walls around his thick fingers that are coated with your juices, an electricity that trills your spine. 

Aegon pulled you closer, his breathless command, “Come for me,” and it spilled from you like a torrent, sweeping away your breath with your heart pounding its fury to break through your ribs, a pleasure thrumming beneath your skin.  

“We’re here,” a voice chirped, and only then did you remember the Uber. 

Aegon had not forgotten, his smug satisfaction still splayed on his features as he sucked his fingers clean. “Good timing,” and his other hand unwrapped from your waist, moving to open the car door. “Come on, pretty girl, let’s get you to bed.” 

The implication of his tone is not lost on you and the blood remains bold in your cheeks, a shade of crimson as you try your best to discreetly fix your lace underwear and follow after him, moving with a new slick between your trembling thighs. 

You reach to take his hand and it wraps around your own, a perfect fit as always.

arcie's masterlist

#chubby!aegon ii #modern aegon x you #modern aegon x reader #hotd fanfic #hotd fanfiction #aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon targaryen x you #happy birthday darlin! #you got all i need