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#anon really said it all
gailynovelry · 2 months
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Thinking a little bit about that one "I'm an English major and a professional as opposed to you amateurs" anon. Gonna roast 'em a little bit, but with the intention of addressing a thing we've had in mind for a while.
Real talk, coming from someone who WAS an English major; majoring in English is not necessarily a guarantee that someone is a good writer. For one, you can be bad at your major, full stop. For another, it's not even a guarantee that someone identifies as a writer to begin with. English as a major is pretty broad, and it covers reading too, among other things. There's library science, analytical academia, historical preservation & interpretation (MEDIEVAL MANUSCRIPTS HELL YES), editing, nonfiction trades (often crosses over with STEM majors), marketing (crosses over with business majors), and also book design and typography (<3 <3 <3 our favorite, crosses over with art majors).
Someone can major in English and take a specific minor with the goal of falling into a trade that is not writing literary fiction. In fact, we would argue that most people who get something useful out of their major are the ones that do that.
It's also worth noting that it's possible to be an English major focused on "lowbrow" fiction. There are people who major in English and use the experience towards the end of writing erotica. There are people who major in English with the intent to write genre fiction. There are people who major in English to study the history and social context of fanfiction.
These things are, in fact, worthy fields of study! The realm of the "amateur" is the realm where a lot of cultural conversations and innovations happen!
Expecting English as a major to be a tract specifically for producing acclaimed literary fictionists is not realistic, not how the discipline typically works, and it's certainly not a thing you can use to hold over other writers' heads. It is perfectly possible for people to write good things (professional-grade things even) without ever touching a college course.
I sat through so much bad writing in college. Technically bad, thematically bad, gramatically bad. And I routinely bump into non-graduate authors who write texts, formal and informal alike, that blow my own writing clean out of the water with their quality.
In short, dismissing other people in your general field as "amateurs" who are beneath you is an incredibly unprofessional thing to do.
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somegrumpynerd · 22 days
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"Trying to keep these oversized hamsters alive"
Fuvk. Now i yearn to See them drawn as hamsters for real! 💘🥺🥺🥺 pls bless us with Bad sans hamsters, i beg u pleeeaseee. 😭😭💕
- 🍓
Weeeeell alright, but only because you asked so nicely and also I really really love hamsters lol
(I've only ever had history with dwarf hamsters so that's what they all are to me, sanses are short anyway so it kinda fits.)
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I made Killer and Dust roborovskis because they were the first hamsters I had and I have favourites. Also they are fast as hell so good luck catching these guys if they get out. I made Horror and Cross russians because they get a lil bit bigger than robos and I wanted a black and white one for Cross.
Also I dunno if you've ever seen those videos of 2 hamsters trying to run on the same wheel and one getting spun around or thrown off, but that's 100% Killer and Cross.
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pummelingbat · 17 days
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you can post this if you want or not but i want to let you know that i'm a trans guy too and your comics about herbert-pre!transition-AU is making me super dysphoric. i like ur art and i like your stuff (its great) but it almost feels like youre making fun of dysphoria and trying to make it funny and cute and it almost feels like ur telling jokes about deadnames or looks. its not funny or cute it is really hurtful and makes me feel gross everytime... not telling u what to do but maybe think abt it?
i'm sorry you feel this way, truly.
but writing/drawing this AU is cathartic for me, personally, as a trans guy. i'm depicting a lived experience that i and many others can relate to, not out of mockery but with love. this AU is honestly a lot more personal than most of my other Re-Animator art, so it kind of hurts to be told that my stuff is only good when it's less personal/more broadly appealing to everybody.
i don't want you to feel bad, but at the same time i am not going to feel bad or guilty for making art drawn from from my own trans experience. i have all my HS AU art in one tag specifically for folks to block, for a reason.
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hella1975 · 7 months
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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x
#seriously another shout out to my mutuals#id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being#and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting#bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over#and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic#sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals#like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful#so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up#than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess#they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds#so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW#okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE#SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES#if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context#but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic#and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF#okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this#ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day
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oifaaa · 1 year
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lmao sorry to keep this going but. tim absolutely had it the easiest of the bat kids, not even a discussion. he had a cushy, priviledged life with parents that actually cared about him, and fanon going uwu poor sad little rich boy so so so neglected and abused... GIRL?!?! cass got the shit kicked out of her till she became the best fighter in the world, and she was homeless for nearly a decade after that and yet often feels like shes the one comforting tim ("""little brother uwu""")
I get you I think it is just frustrating when people try so hard to give Tim the back story Cass already has and then processeds to either not include cass completely or just make her a bland cardboard cutout of a character that's only job in any story is to support which ever male white lead is currently crying
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shimmershy · 5 months
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What does kin mean?
The meaning can tend to vary depending on who you ask, but it generally means (TLDR:) identifying with a character in some way. Although it originated from the term "otherkin", which means identifying with an animal/another species, the way it's typically used in this context refers to "fictionkin".
Many people use it to describe simply relating strongly to a character and don't really see themselves as the character in any way, but it was originally used to describe identifying as the character in a spiritual/psychological way. To clarify, it doesn't mean that you think you literally are that character right now, in a physical way etc. It's more of an identity thing. (I could go more in-depth on what that means, but I'm going to assume that's more information than you're looking for.)
It's kind of a Tumblr/internet culture thing, but I'm not very involved in the community or anything because it's more of a personal thing for me specifically, so. I really don't feel like the best person to ask if you have any more questions. I apologize if that's too much information for such a simple question; I guess it's a bit complicated to explain.
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spearxwind · 8 months
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Since you're on the topic I have genuine question about AI art designs from a non-artist.
In your opinion would using an AI tool to generate a reference for a commission (whether it be for character design or pose) be an appropriate use of said tools?
I thought about this as well and I gotta say, personally I don't think so.
Barring for the purpose of this ask the whole "AI art is stolen art" thing (which I stand by fiercely), AI generated images are really janky, especially reference sheets. There are details everywhere that make no fucking sense, anatomy is deformed, they have a lot of nonsensical parts to them so its just one big jumble of nothing.
And, it's pulling from designs created by existing artists and warping them to fit your prompt. It's work that another artist already made, used by an AI that's trained on a specific dataset. It also pulls from popular things that people enjoy: tried and true color combos, the most popular shapes that big artists use, theres a LOT of waifus, and a lot of the art genuinely comes in the same painterly style that's really hard to color pick from. some even come with color swatches that don't match the colors on the reference
In short, it's just a machine generating something that looks neat at first glance, and then is actual hot garbage when you just... look at it closely. Not to mention that an AI prompt can be iterated, and the AI pulls from everything it has, for every prompt, so what you end up getting is completely samey designs with small changes. Good for concept art assistance, but not if you want to create a Legit Character. The AI will give you something that it has already spit out a thousand times over and then some, with no regards to composition, design technique, color theory, because all it knows is what it has been fed and what the artists its ripping off of know (meaning if they have mistakes, the AI will as well. But in a far less human way)
Meanwhile, when you commission someone you are likely to go for someone whos art style will actually fit what you want to get, or someone whos art style you enjoy. Usually these artists will be people you've followed for a while and you at least know them enough to know what they can do. And they are also reactive, you can tell them to actually change and tweak details of what they're making for you. And not taking into account the bad actors out there (as there are always bad actors in every discipline) you will have something that has been made specifically FOR you, not just what a machine thinks you would perceive as eye candy.
As for poses... just draw it badly in ms paint. The AI will not give you the pose you want for the aforementioned reason: broken anatomy (and also because it will pull from its dataset of poses it can warp features onto. It's a lot more limited than you think.) If you want a pose prompt for a commission just draw it really badly in ms paint or on a napkin and write annotations for the artist (arm goes here, this guy is grabbing this thing, etc etc) Most of us if not all of us will GLADLY interpret your pose for you and draw whatever you want us to.
And like. Literally if you're going to get commissions anyway, why not commission a design first thing of all?? Or buy an adoptable from people who already make them by hand? It will genuinely be so much better than just hoping a machine does all the work for you. Please support artists
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marzipanandminutiae · 1 month
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anti mike flanagan why
why NOT is the real question
(The real reason is that he keeps making adaptations of Gothic literature that aren’t actual adaptations in the sense of bearing more than a passing resemblance to the source material. And I happen to have beef with this specifically because the first one was a “adaptation“ of one of my favorite novels and now all the tags are clogged up with stuff from the show and some people don’t even realize there IS a novel)
(also it’s just annoying. Like… Why adapt books if you’re not going to really adapt them? Why not just make your own thing? Clearly people like his original stuff; what’s the point of this anymore if he doesn’t want to ADAPT in any meaningful way?)
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huh, you seems lonely, why not have a fake version of you, mod?
(Wha, I'm not lonely! There's no need for- Wait, who is that...?
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YEEEEEOOOOOWWWWUUUHHHHHH!!!!!!!
HHHHHHUUUWWWWOOOOOEEEEEY!!!!!!!
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waywardstation · 2 months
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since we had Valentines Day (or Palentines Day) just the other day I've been thinking of how the Twins had dealt with that day back in Unova:
As someone who believes that they aren't too much into romance at all (they love trains and battles) they get easily flustered when they get approached with presents on this day. But since Palentines Day gets more and more popular I can see them preferring this over any romantic gifts. And they are holding presents made by children in the highest regard.
Seeing little kids come up to them to show their appreciation for them and/or trains fills them with joy and they sometimes joke to each other that one day they might have these kids as successor or Depot Agents at work. They also always have a little something as a thank you for the kids on them.
Elesa has made it a habit to gift Emmet a card with the best (or worst according to Emmet) Valentines pun and Ingo a card with the cheesiest message to fluster him on that day. The twins know it's not meant in a romantic way just her playfully teasing them.
Yes yes anon! Shaking your hand, I also headcanon that Ingo and Emmet are not all that interested in romance haha
I love the thought of them getting gifts of appreciation on the day though ;w; Lots of cards and drawings and other things!! (And I’d like to think they get handed presents for their Pokémon too!)
And as for all of this with Elesa, it’s funny because I have a few paragraphs for Rain Check (the Palentines day fic I’ve been working on for forever, and STILL didn’t get done this valentines cause I’ve been so busy ^^;) that describes this almost perfectly:
(Keep in mind a lot of wording here will be updated)
—————
“Does that sound like something you used to do with flowers, where you came from?”
Ingo continued to methodically loop the ribbons between his calloused fingers. Black over White. Yellow over Black. White over Yellow. Black over White. Through the holes.
Through the holes…
The holes were big. (in)(this)(one.)
(Elesa) would always surprise him and (Emmet) at work with (the biggest arrangement of) flowers (on Valentine’s Day. The extravagance had always been emphasized with a card, covered in gaudy, hand-drawn hearts) and wrapped in an elaborate style of bows, but offset (with the card being terribly inappropriate for the occasion - usually for a retirement party or a 60th birthday - where she had gone in and written over the card’s message with pen.) It usually contained (a terribly corny Valentine’s joke,) and a (short but ) genuine message appreciating (their friendship - the whole thing was a silly tradition she had stubbornly yet lovingly repeated ever since she had become friends with them in their childhood.)
(She had never once sent it to their offices - Elesa always thought it was hilarious to have the extravagant gifts hand delivered to fluster) the two of them (in front of the whole station, where people passing by would dote over the public gesture, and a few nosy individuals would even pry. Oh, how she’d laugh at them as they recounted to her how embarrassing the whole ordeal was, before taking them out to dinner and a movie after their shifts).
(The)(punctures)(stretched)(painfully,)(and) Not much was left behind.
She would always surprise him and the other one at work with flowers. Wrapped in an elaborate style of bows, but offset. It usually contained a genuine message appreciating… the two of them.
“I… apologize Miss Akari, for I am not sure.”
—————
I love these thoughts anon, you and I think very similarly!!!
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hellsite-hall-of-fame · 10 months
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Hi! I'm the anon who originally asked you to tag your asks, and I just want to say you shouldn't have to apologize to those mean anons. This is your blog and you can post whatever you want. I'm really grateful that you were kind enough to tag your asks so that they can be filtered, but if those anon can't appreciate you going out of your way to do that, they should just unfollow you and find another way to see heritage posts. No one should be berated for using a feature their blog came with. Answer as many asks as you want and ignore those hateful anons. You're awesome for running this blog and you should be able to interact with your followers, especially if they want to interact with you.
this is such an articulately worded ask and I appreciate it, thank you😭
and like the prev anon wasn’t really mean, but I just normally am able to come up with a better and more eloquent or funny response to those kinds of asks but I just. don’t. have. the. energy rn lol
no but I appreciate what you said, especially coming from you! and yeah I did legitimately spend hours tagging and mass editing all of my posts to make a cohesive tagging system, so I thought I solved the problem lol but alas
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pocketramblr · 5 months
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Au where quirks exist ever since the beginning of humanity but thought the last 200 years they started becoming rarer for no explainable reason
"for no explainable reason"? Not "because someone born two hundred years ago started eating them all"? Well, both can be true I suppose
1- humans have always had quirks so just go ahead and disabuse yourself of the idea that world history looks anything like ours now. Any boundaries humans have drawn between themselves or their spaces are totally different. Anyway, our story is set on the island nation of Akitsuba, which has begun to receive reports of children who are born without quirks- it seems impossible, but apparently the child born in Canton Province to two glowing parents but had no light himself was not the result of an affair. He is genetically both his parents child - just, without any unique plus alpha factor at all.
2- when the news breaks, Setsuji looks over at his twin brother. The two stay in a group home, and on the record, they have a spike quirk, just like their mother did before she died at their birth. In truth, Setsuji can take others quirks. He assumes he took his brother's in infancy, which why the boy can't use them, but now he wonders if his brother was in fact simply born without. He doesn't say anything, but his brother does- whispering it at night, apologizing for assuming his brother took it all this years ago and refused to even try to return it, but there's simply nothing to return, is there?
3- more people are born quirkless over time, and more people lose their quirk to AfO over time. Ujiko theorizes that quirks would get too strong, so both quirklessness and AfO are evolutions to prevent plus alpha self destruction. That is, sadly, a generous view- quirklessness is largely viewed as a horrible strange disability, and suddenly quirks become more important. Few people before had jobs that specifically used their quirks, but now no one wants to be mistaken for not having one. Many people campaign to treat and 'fix' quirklessness, trying to force activate one, study and prevent it, etc. Just go ahead and assume all the terrible things that can happen with this mindset, it all happened.
4- by the time of canon, however, quirklessness has been around for two hundred years, and it isn't going away- clearly the opposite. about half the population of the world has no quirk, and the number's hanging around 45% in Akitsuba when our main character, Akatani Mikumo is born. He's quirkless, and lives in the capitol of Higakyou, as schools there are required by law now to no longer require certain or any quirks. It's an election year, so his first semester of high school all anyone can do is talk about the candidates- especially Yagi Toshinori, a bit of a symbol for quirkless politicians and one people thought would run years ago. Mikumo, who helped Yagi carry groceries home one day and didn't recognize him outside of the bright suit, camera lights, and makeup, makes friends with a few kids at school. (Ochako, and the twins Tokoyami Fumikage and Kuroei- while the latter has a quirk, the former does not).
5- Then one day, Yagi is kidnapped, vanishing on live tv through a smokey warp. Mikumo doesn't know what to think about that, until he runs into the man on his way home from school- clearly in bad shape, with strange dark eyes that glow with some quirk he shouldn't have. Mikumo helps Yagi hide, and asks what happens, and how he can help. (AfO decided to end Yagi's use as a symbol by forcing a quirk on him and controlling him, but one of his brother's successors managed to break Yagi out first and give him his brother's quirk, allowing him to fight against AfO's quirk and withstand them safely. As for what Mikumo can do to help... he's done far more than he should already, a kind boy, but that answer isn't going to be good enough for him- he's determined to do more anyway.)
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becca-e-barnes · 2 years
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ur stucky shit is so good love u so much hope u have a great week
I had stucky bouncing around in my head today and I just need to talk about it 😩 And I hope you have a great week too!!
I really love the thought of mutual masturbation that dissolves into a threesome with Steve and Bucky. Like maybe you're all roommates? The three of you are more than aware that you all have needs and since you're attracted to each other, it almost just makes sense to get off together every now and again.
It's so much better like that anyway, getting to see those two beautiful men, stroking their own cocks while they watch you trail your fingers from your little fluttering hole to your throbbing clit.
"That feel good, angel?" Steve teases with a lazy smirk on his face, his strokes slowing down because he wants this to last. Whoever gets off first tends to get teased by the other two for having no self control and he's determined that it won't be him tonight. In all honesty, it's usually you.
"It's so good." You groan, rubbing tiny, well practiced circles over your own sensitive clit.
"It looks like it feels good. But then again, you were needy today. Bet you were thinking about this all morning. Got yourself all wet and messy before we had even started." Bucky wasn't wrong but it was hard to focus on anything he was saying with the thick droplet of precum rolling slowly down his shaft. You were desperate to taste it. Desperate to get on your knees in front of him and lap it up. But that's not a scenario you should be imagining. Not if you're trying to last.
"Some of these days you're gonna need more than just your own fingers, won't you, honey?" Steve's cock throbbed in his hand and you couldn't help but imagine the weight of it on your tongue or how it would feel to have him hitting the back of your throat.
"I'm surprised she hasn't given in already. Spent all this time showing us just how she likes to be touched. It's almost like she thinks we haven't picked up how to do it right." Bucky's eyes tear away from your glistening cunt, watching your expression carefully for any sign of discomfort at the turn this was taking.
Instead, you just looked even more blissed out and both men seemed to delight in that.
"Always wanted to taste you, doll. Not fair that you're the only one that gets to play with that pretty little pussy." Bucky was the first to move, taking your wrist gently to guide your fingers to his mouth and groaning pathetically as his hot, wet mouth engulfed them.
"You're missing out, Buck." Steve mumbled, settling between your spread legs and kissing up the inside of your bare thighs towards your soaked, neglected core. "Fuck, you're so easy to enjoy." He trailed the tip of his tongue so gently from your hole to your clit and it became difficult to focus on anything other than the two eager, insistent mouths on your skin.
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hatkuu · 4 months
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so like if you have a baby bailey tries to take them to the orphanage no matter what right? what do you think kylar is gonna do. how will he react when you have his baby and bailey tries to take it
screeches at the top of his lungs if he's there to see it. you know this man is holding your hand while you give birth (he definitely cries with you, does not look at the doctor when they're speaking to him, he's waaaayy too focused on you because this might just be the most important thing that has ever happened in his life.) so when that cranky old asshole snatches your baby from you he's fighting like a rabid dog—gets even worse if you try to soothe him or assure him that bailey means well—your precious baby shouldn't be tainted by the hands of that asshole!
idk. i really hope vrel can let the baby stay in kylar's manor like with alex on the farm. like. surely kylar's parents would love their first grandchild... lotta potential for an event where pc catches one of kylar's parents looming over the side of the manger cooing at their grandchild. like. CMON!!!! make the monster parents loveable pls. i want them to like me :( pls guys i literally want to marry your son :( pls like me even a little bit
but yeah. kylar would be furious. idk if he'd pull a knife in a hospital though, probably didn't bring it with him because even though he knows the doctor is just doing their job he does get a little jealous at their position between your thighs... yeah. he's THAT cringe.
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silveredsound · 25 days
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How you go from harry styles to hockey I will never understand.
I was going to make a little joke, as I do, (would have been v hilarious, best joke ever pls know this) and leave it at that. But like, it's been raining for over 24 hours, it's 2am and it might be good for me to reflect a little.. So sorry anon I am going emote all over your ask (which (the ask) sounds a bit judgey tbh but the written word is NOT a great conveyor of tone so that might be on me.)
On one hand it's just fandom. And, I think it's been pretty clear that as much as I love Henry Stars, I'm not like, a 'Harry is the be all and end all of all music creation and creativity and actions.' I like him for the good and the bad, and I don't leave critical thinking at the door. (Not saying I'm the only person to do this, just that it's hard sometimes in fan spaces and Stans definitely do..)
Which, can make it hard to participate in fandom as a lot of people are not great at irony, or accepting that someone else can say, god damn that is a terrible song - and that it's okay for that to happen. It doesn't mean that the person who expressed the neg opinion is not still a fan of the artist they were speaking about. Same with if the artist you are a fan of does something that gives you the ick.
I def learnt this when Harry went to Google Camp the first time. Like obviously I've been around 1d fandom in some way since 2012 ish I think it was - and it was my own reaction to Harry going to Camp Douchebags the first time that made me go, oh jeez Silv, you are a bit too involved in the parasocial relationship here. Like I was genuinely upset that he'd done something I thought was so dumb and wanky.
Anyway, clearly I still loved - love - him and I celebrated him and spent a fuckload of money on him and engaged in fandom and etc etc. But I just did at that point I think turn a little from heading in a very blinkers on version of fandom to one that's def more me - where you just get to have fun, make fun be creative, make friends! and have a bit of a perv depending on the silk cream vanilla ice cream outfit Harry might be wearing in Nashville.
I like RPF. I mean I like all transformative works and fandom extending and enhancing source material via creation, but I don't have an issue with RPF. I believe in 4th wall. And I clearly have written 1d fic. A lot of my good fandom mates, and real life best friend(s) are people I have met through sharing a love of writing in fandom spaces. Obviously all the best writers in 1d went to Hockey. And I stayed here. And I tried. I wanted to be where my friends where. I had fomo and I was lonely! My fandom had changed in a few ways all around the same time.
But Hockey is very confusing, (for starters as I often say to Angela or Joanna, snow is fake) and nothing clicked for me - it seemed large and I had no idea where to even start and I didn't really try.
But I think the change in some fandom fellow participants, and also anons being mean when they would get even a glimpse in their peripheral that I might have vaguely indicated that Henry did something that I thought was dumb or embarrassing, or just not that good, (it's no fun sharing a thought and feeling chatty about it, and wanting to engage with other people's thoughts if some random is going to anonymously tell you that you are a dumb c*nt and should delete etc etc so I stopped sharing any thoughts at all.) Of course Nick leaving breakfast and then R1 altogether - as well as obviously my whole life narrowing to a point that was just tend Mama- work - tend mama - work - tend mama - sleep - grow a tumour - tend mama left me not so much time for proper joyful engagement.
And then, in Jan/Feb this year, I think as I'd been looking at book reviews and as soon as you search for a book on tik tok they push book tok romance reviews into your feed and I think then that pushed an actual hockey clip (which is a really shite 4th wall issue as is the whole Kraken thing etc) and I can't even remember what it was but I know I then swiped through and watched other videos on the account and like 1d being adorable shites repeating stock answers and sitting on top of each other I was intrigued by what seemed to be very dumb and very entertaining.
But Silv, you cry, what about the emotions! You need emotions! Ah, yes, see, because I am nothing but devoted I had followed Angela and La's hockey blogs, and something La posted grabbed my attention and I followed a link and read an article and I was like. Oh, I want to read more about these kids. So I did. And after a little while I reached out to La and was like, um, I think I get it. And I posted something about the Fantilli Bros and then Max reached out and tbh I don't think anything says it better than my wide eyed enthusiasm reply. (You are probably by now thinking, Silv why is your answer to Max so short, why didn't I just get a paragraph? This is an endless essay with no conclusion or indeed a thesis statement, (that is if you have even made it down to here) & anon I can only apologise.)
I am really enjoying learning so many new things, being welcomed into a new space of connection and joy and silliness and emotional breakdowns. It's been so lovely to meet new people who are so excited to share their niche interest with you and no one minds how many questions I have and everyone searches out Primera and Important Past Instagram Posts from the archives - and of course reconnecting with people who I have always been friends with, fandom changes didn't change that, but it's delightful chatting much more often. The other day Angela and I watched an Avs game together via Tumblr chats, which was delightful, to learn about the team and to talk about random other things, and I've spent my last month of Saturdays watching umich with lovely people who La introduced me to, and having MANY EMOTIONS. (It's like hanging out all posting about a show's fits and one liners and if he's going to sing medicine but it's many pantomime gooseberrys. The performative homoeroticisim, wild hair, jokes, punching (only now during not pre show work outs ) and very goddamn impressive skill and physicality is actually pretty similar). Meghan and I have been able to chat through our very similar horrible experiences with cancer and mums with cancer and it's been so lovely and strengthening to be able to share that experience with a person who beyond gets it, and then also I've been able to announce to her that I want to write a fic about 5 ways Nolan saw god with the UMich Bible Study Group but didn't find faith. which is obviously a completely ridiculous concept but equally worthy of discussion. It's this that I love so much about fandom friendship - you share SO much because you are sharing something that gives you intimate joy, so the relationship always starts from a place of an automatic mutual understanding and empathy - and from there we make it our own.
But also, I really like the game. Like I love watching them play, all of them! It's fast (obviously - and oblig have to say - ice is slippery) and it's hard - and they make it look easy. When one of the special players (they are all special, but one of the ones who play almost with innate ability) makes a pass or a turn sometimes it's almost almost magic, like how the fuck did they see that gap between four players, and did you see how they kept the puck a moment longer so they could release it perfectly into the lane !! Hot.
The game can be all encompassing and it's SO SO SO silly. Like it's the dumbest sport. It's The Show. I'll put on ESPN and stream a match while I'm working during the day (the time difference is perfect for once) and I'm spending time cos I want to, learning the rules and the logistics and business side of it all. And of course, the differences between college hockey and the show. Idk. It just clicked on so many levels for me.
And so, I have no idea why it took me so long to transition from Henry to Hockey, but I am not surprised I did now that I have - it def wasn't something that I was bloody expecting. And Anon I will say this, the last few years of my life have been sad, hard, and tbh shitty. Now, I know what it's like to have fucked years, so I am not saying this to try to be and show off but 2024 feels a bit better. I feel clearer, I have started to lose some weight (15ish kg so far depending on the time of the month) and now I have a meeting w a PT on Tuesday as I actually don't care what I weigh but I want to get stronger and reduce my visceral fat as it will be better for hormones which is better for lessening my cancer reoccurrence %.
God knows it's (2024) not all roses, I literally had surgery again a fortnight ago and the cost of living in Sydney is giving me so much anxiety. I am still a terribly disorganised mess, my work is undergoing a complete restructure (thanks NSW gmnt) and my clean washing is NEVER folded and put away, it's always in the basket - but I feel so happy and entertained and creative - I am writing again! like it's joy. It's ye olde you are who you are at this moment but you are also the 4 year old you and the 15, 27, 34 year old you - girlhood (non gendered concept of not literal interpretation) and I love it. 💛🩵🌱
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itsdefinitely · 3 months
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💀😡
starting off strong!
💀 least favorite lord in black and why 😡 least favorite character from npmd and why
based off design... pokey. he is so swagless please i need to give him cool pants please please why doesn't he have shiny pants and a feather boa he deserves one give him heels you cowards
as for npmd (characters who have a speaking role): brenda. hearing her talk the first time made my soul float out of my body. i didn't recognize it as bryce; i thought they genuinely got a teenager to be brenda. it just took me off guard how real she was. compared to everyone else matching their stereotype, brenda acts like. a regular teenager
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