So, this "Angel Cooking Italian Food" brainworm won't leave me and now I'm picturing him becoming a freaking whirlwind in the kitchen, especially when he's stressed or has something to rant about. I'm talking stirring sauce with one hand, making meatballs with two hands, and gesturing wildly with another while switching between English and Italian and cussing out whoever pissed him off that day.
Everyone quickly learns to vacate the kitchen while this is going on. Except Husk. He just sits at a nearby table, makes sure the glass Angel's drinking from doesn't get empty, and watches his tornado of a boyfriend with big ole heart eyes.
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Heavyweight: Chaggie
Buckle up, Buttercups! This is a bit long. Google translate will be your friend.
Charlie: (exiting her office after a 72 hour video meeting and bee-lining towards the bar) UggGHhghhhHHh!!!! I need a DRINK!!!
Alastor: (whirling in out of nowhere) I wouldn't go in there if I were you.
Charlie: (jumps) Holy Shit!!! Fuck! Alastor, can you not do that, please? You nearly gave me a heart attack.
Alastor: So sorry, dear. I'm just warning you before you go anywhere that the bar is in quite the unsavory state right now.
Charlie: What do you mean? Did Cherri invite her biker friends again?
Alastor: Oh, heavens, no! That little manager of yours would never allow that to happen again.
Charlie: Alastor, we've talked about this. Her name is Vaggie. But why is the bar in an unsavory state?
Alastor: (grins wider) Oh, I suppose you'll just have to see it to believe it, I'm afraid. (opens the door to the bar and latin music blares through the hotel)
Charlie: Alastor, I really don't have the mental fortitude to deal with your bipolar-
-Record Screech-
Charlie: -WHY IS VAGGIE BENCHING THE POOL TABLE IN NOTHING BUT A BRA AND HER SKIRT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Hazbins: GO!!! GO!!! GO!!! GO!!! GO!!!
Husker: (counting off Vaggie's reps) Forty-eight! Forty-nine! FIFTY!!!! That's it! Vaggie wins!!!
Vaggie: HA!!! (flips the pool table off to the side and stands up victoriously while speaking Spanish) ¡Toda la razón! ¡Paga, Ángel!
Hazbins: (half cheering and half groaning as money exchanges hands and a few lift Vaggie up like a champion)
Angel: (drunkenly slurring in Italian)
Charlie: And WHY are they speaking like that?!
Alastor: (cleaning his monocle) Ms. Vagatha found out that Angel took a video of your drunken stupor last week and demanded he give all copies to her. He said he would only do it if she out drank him.
Charlie: Again. Not her name. And WHAT?!?!?!?!
Alastor: Needless to say, that woman would do anything for you, so they went shot for shot on something called "tequila". Quite the show, if I say so myself. Angel ended up vomiting in the trash can. They've been arguing in Spanish and Italian ever since. It's almost friendly at this point.
Charlie: BUT WHY IS VAGGIE HALF NAKED?!?!?!?!?!
Alastor: (obviously disgusted by the display but keeping his smile) She didn't want to rip her uniform.
Vaggie: (spots Charlie from her elevated position)
¡Charlie, mi amor!
Charlie: (arrow to the heart as she watches Vaggie hop down and strut over to her, eyes zeroed in on the sway of her girlfriend's hips) Oh, fuck..... I'm in trouble....
Vaggie: (hugs Charlie tight before taking her hand and kissing it) ¿Cómo estuvo tu reunión?
Charlie: (gets goosebumps and blushes) UuuUuUhhhHHHhhh.... V-Vaggie, babe, y-you know I'm not good with my Spanish yet.
Vaggie: Lo sé. (chuckles deeply and looks at Charlie through her long lashes as she snakes her arm around Charlie's waist while the other hand strokes her thumb over Charlie's pulse on her wrist) También sé que te gusta cuando te hablo así en español.
Charlie: (blushing deeper as she wiggles out of her suit jacket and wraps it around Vaggie's shoulders) L-Let's get you covered up.
Vaggie: (smirking as she traces her fingers around the waistband of Charlie's trousers and gently untucks her shirt so she can drag her fingers across the pale skin underneath) Eres tan dulce… y tan sexy cuando te sonrojas.
Charlie: (feels her tail and horns spring up as Vaggie's nails drag across the skin of her hip and tries to corral Vaggie towards the door) OH-KAY!!! L-Let's get you upstairs to bed!
Vaggie: (maneuvers herself so she's escorting Charlie up the stairs leading to their room and uses her wings so that she can hover right next to Charlie's ear from behind) Only if you join me~
Charlie: (thighs pinch together as a spark of electricity jolts through her body and whines) ...oh fuck....
Vaggie: Now, you're catching on~
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I saw someone say on TikTok that the whole poison dancing bit is actually Angel disassociating and the screens behind are showing what's actually happening in real life and,,, that's,,, so. fucking. sad.
Bc imagine a newly arrived Angel, with big dreams of stardom and glory that he never got to fulfill when he was alive and then meeting Valentino who promised to make all his dreams come true?? And he just believes him??? not only because he was once in love with him but because he wished to be in the stage so badly, to perform for the audience, to sing and dress himself pretty without the judgment of his family or the disgust of an old fashioned society; because he once fell in love with the colors and diamonds of extravagant showgirls and queer performers and couldn't help but feel enamoured with it all.
He loved it all so much that even after being tricked, hurt, and betrayed, his only comfort whilst hurting is imagining himself as one of those people at the bars his father owned; singing and dancing, parading in dresses and feathers that decorated their heads. Only wishing he could've joined them.
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Huskerdust Headcanons: Food Edition
• Angel Dust is a great cook and genuinely enjoys it. On a rare day off when he's not exhausted/recovering, he jumps at the opportunity to make a full Italian-style dinner for everyone at the hotel. However, don't come near him in the kitchen and expect to make it out alive... god forbid you try to help him with the cooking, you're getting chased out of there with a wooden spoon and cussed at furiously in italian
"PARSLEY in a fuckin' ragu, Charlie? Are you out of your fuckin' MIND? Jesus fucking CHRIST che SCHIFO, mamma mia... cazzo prezzemollo, scusa nonna..."
• Husk is NOT a good cook... he loves some pub grub or a good steak dinner, but rarely cooks for himself and definitely values convenience over quality
• Angel always gets Husk to taste whatever he's cooking to see what he thinks, but Husk is not nearly food-literate enough for Angel's expectations, so when his queries of "do you think I should leave it to reduce more?" "did I go too heavy on the black pepper?" are met with the same answer of "tastes good to me" he can get a little... frustrated
• This is usually quelled by Husk telling him to stop being such a diva and accept the damn compliment and also give him the spoon to have the rest of what's on it
• Over time Husk would become the only person who's allowed in the kitchen when Angel's cooking, partially because he'd never bother to try and help out, he'd be the first to admit he doesn't know what he's doing, but also because Angel enjoys the company, as well as being a show off
• Husk likes to be in the kitchen with Angel because he gets to see him doing something he's passionate about and is good at without it being about sex
• Husk basically becomes Angel's half-willing kitchen assistant
"Here, chop up this onion will ya? No, not like tha- Christ, Husk, you're gonna lose a hand! You can take fuckers down with explosive dice and playin' cards but you can't chop a fuckin' onion and keep all ya body parts?"
"Hey, can ya pass the rosemary? I said the rosemary. This is sage, dumbass. Were ya born in a fuckin' barn?"
• Husk would probably not admit it but he's definitely learned to appreciate food a little more since becoming Angel's kitchen bitch helper and always looks forward to one of Angel's whole-day cooking sprees
Bonus: Angel never washes up and is chaotically messy when cooking so tidying the kitchen is a Niffty matter. And if you thought going into the kitchen when Angel was cooking would end badly, you'd best believe you won't make it out alive if you interupt Niffty while she's cleaning it
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