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#and.... i've been needing to hear that for a long time. feels like ages since someone just... got enthusiastic
junggunz · 14 hours
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5 | 🔞
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summary: Jay Jo tutors you for an extra hour. wc: 2.2k cw: fembodied!reader, smut, university!au, tutor!jay jo, reader tests Jay's patience fr, oral (m receiving), facial cum shot, light degradation, spanking, p in v, all characters featured are 18+ an: since the prompt list had two different number 5's, NATURALLY i picked the one i've been thinking about for agesss.
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“First, differentiate this part here…(-S)2 is equal to C2+S2…” Jay explains, using his pen to circle the components of the number expression you were currently working on.
Sitting beside each other in the library, knees brushing against each other every so often, you were growing antsy. It's hard trying to stay focused when all these equations are starting to look the same. And not to mention, your tutor is looking extra attractive today. But maybe that was just because of the residual tension lingering from your last tutoring session.
“Didn’t I tell you to stop interrupting me when I’m trying to teach you something?” Jay says through gritted teeth, his patience long gone after hearing you complain about being bored one too many times. 
You insulted his teaching skills, which led to him getting up to leave. Truly fed up with your poor attitude because it was your grades, not his, that needed help; he only offered to tutor you for the extra credit. You’re ready to let him walk out on you until you remember that he’s the only one who had an open schedule and was down to study with you at any time of day as long as you gave him heads up. Now desperate, you begged him to stay. Unmoved by your pleas, Jay tells you to give him one good reason to deal with you. 
And that’s how you ended up in this position.
Half past midnight on a Saturday, the library was sparsely populated. At least one person had fallen asleep with their face in a textbook. Aside from the three other people in the entire building, it's a ghost town. Not very many people want to pass up the Saturday parties when they can just cram on Sunday. Jay uses the lack of potential spectators to his advantage, making a mess of your mouth. There's no need to be sneaky or secretive if there's no one to witness the lewd dalliance of you and Jay.  Ducked under one of the tables at the library, knees digging into the scratchy carpet while Jay kept a firm hand on the back of your head; bobbing you along his cock leisurely. 
“I guess it’s true. Dumb sluts like you always give the best head.” He murmured softly, the faintest of smirks tugging at his lips as he watched your lips move up and down his shaft.
It doesn’t take long for your jaw to start aching from how wide you have to open your mouth to take him. Even with the slow pace he was fucking your mouth, you  gagged and sputtered every time the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat. 
 With the deep strokes he gives, your drool gathers in your cheeks and slosh around with each push of his shaft until it trickles down the sides of your mouth. The way one of your soft hands squeeze and fondle his balls with your saliva acting as a lubricant, Jay is very much tempted into spilling his load down your throat. God knows he’s been craving this type of release for ages. But with how warm and slick your mouth is around him, he really doesn’t want the feeling to wane. 
Caught between a rock and a hard place, sweat beaded along Jay’s hairline, his teeth gnawed at the inside of his lower lip, and he kept your hair in a vice grip. The longer he held off, the more desperate your actions would become. Nastily slurping up the mixture of precum and your spit that covers his shaft, using your tongue to massage the underside of his cock and trace along each of the pulsing veins, and even going as far to flick your tongue across the seam of his balls whenever you deepthroated him; it seemed like you were getting a point of wanting Jay to cum more than anything. 
Jaw feeling like it was locked open for him to use, you looked up at Jay with glossy eyes, silently pleading for his climax. Desperation is cute on you—at least Jay thinks so, and wanting to take in the expression on your teary face, it makes the perfect incentive for him to hold out longer. Reaching down with the hand that wasn’t tangled in your hair, Jay yanks down the neckline of your shirt. Stretching out the soft fabric, he can slip his hand into one of the cups of your bra, roughly pinching your nipple. The tender flesh of your breast is used like a stress ball for Jay; his palm squeezing harder every time you hollow your cheeks around his cock. 
It would be a bold faced lie to say that you never imagined yourself kneeling in the library with your tits spilling out, sucking someone off all in the name of saving your grade. But with Jay Jo of all people? Jay was just some quiet nerd to you. You were confident he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to get his dick sucked if you offered. However, that was the only correct assumption you made. He wasn’t as shy as you expected. He wasn’t awkward. And he definitely wasn’t small.
His cock felt so heavy against your tongue. You felt the true weight of it when he pulled it out of your mouth to slap against your cheek. Just the sound of his shaft making contact with your face renders your mind completely vacant. And that’s exactly how Jay wanted you. He doesn’t wanna see any semblance of a thought when you’re sucking him off; you need to save the thinking for when he was actually trying to teach you a lesson.  
Deciding that he’s deprived himself of his release long enough, he guided your hand with his own to stroke his cock at the exact pace and grip he liked. Not even giving you a warning, all you saw was blurry white ribbons flying toward you before you felt warmth dripping down your face. Even in this situation, Jay’s expression was indifferent as usual albeit his flushed cheeks and labored breathing. It was only after he pulled up his pants and handed you some tissues before leaving, you were able to tell if he enjoyed this encounter.
“Same time, next week. Bring your last exam with you.”
“Jay, we’ve done so much tonight already. My brain feels like it’s gonna explode if I look at any more numbers.” You whine, laying your head down on the cool surface of the wooden table. “Can we end the tutoring session? Or at least take a break?” 
“If you start slacking now, you’re not gonna be ready for finals at the end of the term.” He reminds you, using that same vacant tone he spoke with all the time. 
Maybe if he was just a little more expressive, you’d feel more encouraged to power through the rest of your study session. You definitely felt more encouraged after last week. Jay wasn’t the type to make a big deal out of it, but he did acknowledge the six point increase on your quiz scores.
“At least I’m passing the class now! That deserves some sort of reward.” You insist, looking at him with puppy eyes. 
Seeing that your focus had been disrupted since the beginning of the session, Jay relents. 
“Fine, my reward will be helping you correct all the points you missed on your last quiz.” 
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Initially, when you hear his proposal, you’re ready to complain and fuss. But when Jay starts packing up his things and telling you to do the same, you’re quick to shove your notebook and pencils into your bag so you could trail after him. 
Now, in the privacy in his dorm, you find yourself in yet another situation you couldn’t have foreseen. In Jay’s bed. Naked from the waist down. Settled on his lap with his cock deep inside of you but unmoving while he looked over your most recent exam. One of his hands held the neatly stapled set of pages while the other rested on the apex of your thigh.
“Didn’t I tell you how to solve these kinds of problems last time I saw you?” Jay scolds you as he looks over the first section of the questions you missed. “You did these problems just fine during our review session. How come you missed them?”
“Aah…I forgot a step of the formula.” You mumble in a wavering voice, struggling to refrain from rocking your hips against his. 
“You should have that formula drilled into that pretty little head of yours by now.” He tells you sternly. “Lift your ass up.”
Obliging to his demand, you pick up your hips until only half his shaft remains inside of you. With your eyes focused on Jay’s stony expression, you don’t notice his hand coming off your thigh until he brings it down on your ass; slapping you hard and making you whine. 
“Question 13 is the same. I even went over this one with you.” Jay murmurs, eyes scanning over your work shown and scoffing at the little mistakes.
“I forgot…” You mumble which earns you another mean spank to your ass. 
Flipping through the rest of your test, Jay does reward you for your good work; letting you bounce yourself up and down on his cock like the needy slut you are. Your walls are slick and hot around him, dangling the idea of forgetting about your test corrections right in front of his face. As much as he wants to lose himself in the feeling of your pussy hugging him so tightly, he can’t. For just a few minutes, Jay allows himself to focus on how hot and wet you are for him. 
That is, until he comes across another incorrect question. Immediately, he demands that you stop moving, giving your already burning ass cheeks several more slaps until you heed to his command. Manhandling you onto your back and telling you to hold your legs apart from him. Giving you only shallow thrusts, he reads off another problem you missed points. 
You look up at Jay with a glassed over expression, trying to focus on him to explain where you went wrong but all that fills your mind is the sensation of your walls clenching around his dick and trying to lure him deeper into your heat. The hand that wasn’t holding your paper menacingly lifts up, hovering above your already stinging ass as Jay asks you what the correct answer is. And now, you’re racking your brain, trying to remember what he said about solving that particular problem.
“Is the rational value negative two?” You ask in a small voice, already squeezing your eyes shut and trying to brace yourself for the repercussion of getting a question incorrect.
“Good job.” Jay tells you, awarding you another spank that’s not as harsh as all the previous ones. 
And then, your position changes again. After listening to him lecture you about everything you did wrong on your test, it’s time to actually make the corrections. Now laying flat on your stomach with your test in front of you and a pen in one hand, Jay fucks you from behind. Holding himself above you, his attention is split between rutting into you hard and watching you shakily redo each equation. 
“You’re too slow.” Jay grunts out, the tip of his cock meanly pressing against your sweet spot as you struggle to scrawl out any semblance of a number. “You can’t spend too long on a single problem.”
“But-” You start to whine out, trying to reason that during a real math quiz, you wouldn’t have him rearranging your guts and making it hard to focus. 
Alas, Jay wasn’t hearing it and only slams harder into that extra soft area deep within your walls, causing you to nearly drop your pen. Your handwriting is scratchy and shaky, looking more akin to a toddler’s work when it’s next to your usually legible print. Taking in a shuddering breath, you grip your pen tighter; desperate to prove to Jay that this kind of tutoring was the only way you could work with him. And the only way to do that was to actually work on your test corrections.
Unlike you, Jay is a very talented multitasker. He has no problem looking over your shoulder while you struggle to scrawl out your work on the page due to the way he was roughly slamming into you from behind. 
“I shouldn’t have to remind you about the order of operations.” He murmurs in your ear, thrusts barely slowing down even as he chides you when you neglect the numbers you had just rewritten in parentheses. 
“For fucks sake…” You mutter under your breath, trying to collect your thoughts for long enough to correct your mistake while also keeping back the moans that were tickling the back of your throat.
It’s funny to Jay; the way you’re able to remember to keep your ass up and back arched so he could fuck you deeper without him ever needing to tell you in the first place, but after weeks of him telling you the same fundamental math principles over and over, the material just wouldn’t stick. But could he blame you? His cock was hitting all the right places and you simply couldn’t get enough of it. Meanwhile, math was a subject you absolutely detested.
With the way things were going, it was going to be a long review session; but totally worth it if all the ones after this would be the same. 
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luwha · 6 months
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Bro, when we work with social media for so long, we tend to forget we are also people, because for reasons that i could go on and on of why a certain level of impersonality is necessary, a level of distancing, never over posting or being too open.
But sometimes people reach out to you to say something real nice and i tell you, it's the best thing in the whole world.
Social media is about business. Art is about connection.
And i am an artist.
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yoyokalicent · 3 months
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soon you will be mine, oh, but i want you now.
pairing: felix catton x fem!reader
summary: you're felix's favorite girl, you had been since you were young. what happens when you're all he needs?
warnings: cursing, mentions of fucking and alcohol, felix is a freak and in love with his best friend.
a/n: this little fic is based off fallingforyou by the 1975 bc its arguably one of their most heartbreakingly good songs so!! (lyrics in bold)
。°✩⋆。°。°✩⋆。°。°✩⋆。°。°✩⋆。°。°✩⋆。°。°✩⋆。°。°✩⋆。°。°✩⋆。°。°✩⋆。°。°✩⋆
i'm so excited for the night all we need's my bike and your enormous house
the strobe lights were almost blinding as you search the large house for felix. felix, who all but got on his knees to beg you to accompany him to the house party you now wander around aimlessly.
"princess!" you barely hear felix over the booming sound of music being pumped through every speaker in the house, "lost you for a minute there, you ok?"
his hand finds yours immediately walking with you toward the sliding glass doors, "just need some air, fi."
"me too, i'll go with you." i'll go anywhere with you, he means.
his hand leaves yours and felix can't help the bout of disappointment he feels in the pit of his stomach, wishing he could hold your hand just a little longer.
felix watches you intently as you open the door with the hand that not long ago was occupied his own, and once the door is open enough for you to exit your hand slots right into his own.
"do you have a cig?" what a stupid question, you see he has a full pack in his back pocket, you don't know is that he wants to share one with you, to see the red smudges of your lipstick around the end of it before he takes a drag of his own.
"f'course." you rake your hands through your black handbag, the handbag he purchased for you while his family was on holiday in paris. once you pull out your worn pack of cigarettes you follow up with your light pink lighter, "hm?"
it was your signal for him to light it for you, he takes the lighter out of your hands and cups a hand around your lips, lighting the cigarette for you. maybe its the drinks, the cups of liquor you had poured for him making his head spin, or maybe it was you, the thought of you being his one day. just one day, but he wants you now.
after your long drag you pass the cigarette to him, blowing out the smoke and looking out toward the backyard where friends were dancing, and lovers were making out in the dark corner by the trees.
"i've always loved nights like this, its so easy." you say, reaching your hand back out for the cigarette.
"me too, fun." he responds, as you flick the ends of the cigarette and watch the ashes fall onto the concrete, "always have fun with you, princess."
the nickname fell from his lips easily, something he had called you since you were a princess on halloween in grade school, never failing to pick on you for it.
"wanna get out of here?" felix asks looking for your confirmation, just wanting to be alone with you, not having to deal with farleigh's knowing glare.
"i do, fi. walk me back?" another stupid question, but this time coming from you, "or am i staying with you?"
"you'll stay with me, princess."
i'm caught on your coat again you said, "oh no, it's fine"
the weather in oxford was completely contradictory to felix's mood. the grey sky with icy winds had no comparison for the light reflecting from his smile. he was sat in some dingy diner (somewhere that only you could get him to step foot into) waiting for the check with you beside him.
he completely rejected your idea of sitting across from him, arguing that, "i haven't seen you in ages, why would i want you to be anywhere but my side?"
your lips were wrapped around the straw of the strawberry milkshake you swore you needed, shamefully felix can't help but think about your lips. the way they break into a smile, the way they sing your favorite songs, the way they'd look wrapped around him.
you're his best friend for goodness sake.
"fi?"
fuck the thinks, "princess."
"do you think we could go to the corner store? i wanted to get those crisps you like. i've been wanting them since the other night." you ask him with hesitation, as if he has ever denied you anything, as if he ever could.
"yep," felix pops his p, mirroring something you had always done, "quite a walk, sure you want to in the cold?"
you take one last sip of your milkshake before responding, "i've got you to keep me warm, don't think that's enough?" he wraps his arm around you to pull you closer to him.
his silence is telling, for as long as you had known him he was never one for comfortable silence. but, with you he could sit for hours without talking, just to be with you.
once the check is payed, by felix, you are bouncing out of your seat, forgetting the jacket that was resting by the end of your back.
"forgetting something?" he holds the jacket up, opening it for your arms to slip into effortlessly.
before your hands have the chance to zip up your jacket his are working at the zipper, toward the middle of the jacket the zipper stops.
"huh?" he says, trying to find where it went wrong.
his mind is racing as he tries to find the flaw in your jacket, when he finds the culprit it almost warms his heart. the fringes of his own jacket were caught in the teeth of your own. a piece of himself was caught in a piece of you.
"sorry bout that, princess."
"oh, no s'fine." without hesitation he zips your jacket all of the way, not wanting to risk you catching a cold. going as far as to giving you his own scarf and putting your hood up for you.
"and what would i do without you?" you ask, hooking your arm in his own and resting your cheek on his bicep as you walk down the street.
"freeze, and possibly have to buy your own food."
feeling of your arms i don't want to be your friend, i want to kiss your neck
felix loved the feeling of your bed. the soft linens your mother had sent from southern italy, the fluffy blankets, firm pillows, the feeling of your arms wrapped around his waist with your head lodged between his shoulder blades.
he loved it, right now, he longed for it.
farleigh was next to him talking to some guy at the pub and all he could think about is what you were doing. felix truly tried his hardest to get you to go with them to the pub, but you swore up and down tonight was your night for rest and relaxation.
stupidly, so stupidly, felix thought he would have more fun at the pub entertaining girls he'd never go home with instead of entertaining you.
"wanna get out of here?" a girl asks, pawing at his chest. all he can do his feign disgust, why would he want to leave with anyone but you?
"no," he responds, and sees the look on her face drop, "thanks" his words are slurred and all he can do is think to count the drinks he's had. the liquor really has affected him, usually he has you mooching off of whatever he has in his cup.
but, not tonight.
"farleigh, i need to go." felix pats farleigh on the shoulder, signaling his leave of absence.
"tell princess i said hi." farleigh responds, mocking his nickname for you, and felix can only open and close his mouth with a nod. felix starts his walk out of the bar with a slight wave to farleigh.
the walk to your dorm was quick, and his legs moved in a brisk walk, quickly starting to border a jog. wanting to get to you, get into your shower, get into your bed as quick as possible.
he dodges groups of partygoers and their judgmental glares skillfully, if they knew what he was running to he's sure they wouldn't be looking at him the way they were.
he arrives at your dormitory and ditches the stuffy elevator that would take too long, he doesn't have time for waiting. his legs move up the stairs, slower this time. almost savoring in the excitement of seeing you.
the many cups have him thinking, what if he told you now? he waits in front of your door, waiting. not knocking, just thinking. thinking about happy he could make you. thinking about what he could do for you, what you could do for him.
just before his mind could catch up with his movements he's knocking on the door. reeling in what he could say to you, and then you open the door.
your hair is in your rollers, and your body is drowning in your light yellow nightgown. ignoring all signs of sleepiness you smile, "felix?"
"i do not want to be your mate." your smile immediately drops, and your eyes open wide, suddenly he wants to jump down the flight of steps he had just climbed.
"what the fuck, felix?"
"no, no, no, princess, not like that." his large hands take your face into them, so tightly that your cheeks are smushed together, not to hurt you, never to hurt you.
"then how felix? you come to me in the middle of night to tell me what?" your words are slurred to the grip he has on his face.
you can smell the whiskey radiating off of him, making this all the more confusing, his hands fall from your face to his sides, "i don't want to be your friend." he takes breath, a deep breath, "i wanna kiss your neck"
"huh?" you ask again, slowly getting at what he means, but needing him to say it. say what you had been thinking for the last year.
"there was a girl at the bar, and she wasn't ugly. at all. she wanted to go home with me-"
you cut him off, "felix."
"sorry. but, i didn't want to go with her, all i thought about was you. coming home to you, maybe even kissing you, hugging you, fucking yo-"
you cut him off again, "felix."
"i just-"
"you what, felix?"
"i really love you. i love you so much i only think of you, i only think about you so much i can't hear a song without thinking about you. i love you so much i've started to lose my mind! i love you so much, princess." his lips smash into yours, and you taste him. the whiskey, the mint lip balm, the cigarettes, you taste him.
you kiss him until his hands start to trail toward the end of your night gown, "can't give the neighbors a free show, fi."
"can't have them seeing what's mine."
your eyebrows raise teasingly, "yours?"
"you're mine princess, finally."
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flrlgreen · 2 months
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taboo (toji fushiguro x reader) + twt prn link
a/n: i'm finally back and i'm here to stay! i was taking a much-needed break but now that i'm back requests are open and i'll be fulfilling requests that i've already received. as always, thank you for all of the support! (this isn't realistic i almost passed out when i lost my virginity LMAO)
MINORS DNI
content warnings: LEGAL AGE GAP, reader is in college and toji is in his 40s, unprotected sex, toji is manipulative and shitty, dub con, loss of virginity, vaginal sex, toji says mama, baby girl, good girl, baby, etc, talks of breeding and marriage.
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Spending time with your best friend’s dad Toji. At first. Seems innocent enough and there’s no reason to think anything suspicious was going on. Of course, if you ignore the fact that he practically undresses you with his eyes and looks at your soft tits and ass when he thinks you’re not looking.
Tonight was the breaking point. The moment he saw you in the living room watching a movie with your now-sleeping best friend in those tight shorts he loved so much he knew he had to have you. Tonight.
There was a lot of suggestive flirting and before you knew it one thing led to another and you were in the middle of Toji’s big and soft bed with Toji on top of you.
“Been wanting you for so long you have no fuckin’ idea.” He says while licking a long stripe up your neck. A small whine escapes your lips. It goes to his leaking cock that’s now uncomfortably straining against his pajama pants.
“T-Toji wait.” You say nervously. “Hm?” He hums and pulls away from your neck and gives you a look full of concern. “I-I’m a virgin.” You stutter nervously and await his response. His gaze softens when he hears that you’re a virgin. “Aw, ‘s okay Sweetheart. I’ll be gentle and take care of you, ‘kay?” He gives your forehead a tender kiss before putting his forehead against yours and making direct eye contact. “O-okay, I trust you.” You feel like your face is on fire. Toji smiles before leaning in and pressing his scarred lips on yours.
It feels natural to kiss him back. It feels so right. His lips were impossibly smooth and tasted so good, it made you crave more of him. His strong calloused hand played with the hem of your top before it found its way up your tank top. a small mewl left your lips, but he couldn’t help himself. He just wanted to feel you all over. He had been waiting for this exact moment since he laid his eyes on you after all. “Shhhh~ It’s okay Baby lemme take care of you.” He whispers into the kiss. “I promise I’ll make you feel good.”
You knew Toji had a lot of experience with women and he sure as hell knew how to please one. Admittedly, you were a tad nervous but Toji was probably the perfect candidate for taking your virginity. The older man’s large hand found the soft flesh of your breast and your hard nub. “Hmmph! T-Toji!” You cry out and pull away from the kiss. “You’re so sensitive, we need to be quiet, we don't want to wake her, do we Baby Girl?” He whispers and uses his free hand to cover your mouth while kneading the soft flesh of your breasts with the other. You nod and hold back your moans while he begins to rub the sensitive bud. “I need to see these fucking tits.” He huffs.
The hands that were just massaging your breasts and covering your mouth are now at the neckline of your tank top. He’s so desperate to finally see your pretty tits after all this time that his strong hands rip the thin material of your tank top with no struggle. “‘m sorry Baby I had to.” A whistle leaves his lips when he sees your tits on full display for him. “Mmm, such pretty little tits Mama~” Your face turns a shade of bright red when you feel his sharp lustful gaze on your exposed chest.
“Can I Baby?” He licks his lips and looks at you for approval. “Mhm.” You were so shy and it was making Toji’s cock ache. He licks his lips before he lowers himself and leans in. The tip of his tongue nips your hardened nipple. “Fuck!” His mouth leaves your nipple, “Feels so good doesn’t it?” All you can do is whimper while his whole undivided attention is on your tits.
You can’t stop the moans that escape your sinful mouth. His movements switch between suckling on your hardened nipples and squishing your tits together and stuffing his face between them.
“‘M so obsessed with your tits. Even better than I imagined.” He squishes your soft tits together while his green eyes look up at yours. “No one else can touch these tits. Mine.” Toji leaves a soft bite on your right tit before his hand travels lower.
“Can I touch you down here, Sweetheart? I’ll make it feel so good.” He toys with the waistband of your tight shorts. “I bet your little virgin pussy is the sweetest.” Your legs clench when the words leave his lips. “I’m a little scared.” “There’s no need to be. You know I wouldn’t hurt you right, Doll?” The fingers that were toying with the waistband of your shorts were pulling them lower and lower. “I know I can make you feel so good. Just let me ‘kay?” “B-but!” Your shorts and panties are pulled down in one swift motion before you can even retort. Your soft cunt gets exposed.
The man between your legs licks his lips when he sees your soft virgin cunt. Your hand immediately goes down to cover your pussy which Toji wasn’t a fan of. He grabbed your small and weak hand and moved it away. “Let me see.” He demands while lifting your legs so he can see your puffy pussy. “Fuckk- Such a pretty little cunt. All for me too, no one else is allowed to touch you like this Baby.” “This is so embarrassing,” Two hands cover your face while Toji takes in the view of your body completely exposed to him now.
“Don’t be so shy Sweetie, you’re so fucking delicious.” He bites his lip and looks at your glistening folds.
He can’t help it, he wants to touch you now. His pointer finger dips between your slick folds and grazes your clit. “A-ah! Be gentle, pretty please.” Toji can’t help himself. All of your whimpers and mewls make him want to ravish you more and more. His cock needs to feel your tight pussy and needs to breed you full of his cum. He runs his finger up and down your folds.
He uses the fact that you’ve never felt anything like this before to his advantage. He frees his weeping cock of the restraint of his pajamas and damp boxers while you were a sensitive moaning mess from just his finger. He almost feels bad.
His cock is thick and long and he knows that it’s hard to take. Even for the more experienced women that he had slept with. The cold air hit his cock and he couldn’t hold back his soft moan. He also couldn’t help pressing the huge tip on your wet folds. “H-Huh? Is that?” You’re a bit confused, but then the realization hits and you realize what’s touching your wet cunt. “Mhmmm, it’s big isn’t it?” A shit-eating grin is plastered all over his face while he grips the base and rubs it between your wet folds, earning a moan from you. You uncover your face and take a look at Toji’s leaking cock on your pussy. “It’s so big, will it fit?” “Of course it will. If not. I’ll make it fit.” The tip of his cock poked at the small opening.
“Be good for me, yeah?” Before you can even process what’s happening you feel the tip of his thick cock begin to sink into your heat. “I-“ He didn’t even give you the chance to even adjust before his huge cock felt like it was ripping you in half. “Toji! Hurts. It’s not gonna fit!” You practically yell. “That’s only the tip Baby. Be a good girl and be quiet for me.” His tone is now low and almost scary. “Hurts so bad,” Tears begin to prick your eyes while Toji’s thick cock bullies its way into your tight virgin cunt.
“There we go-“ He groans when your pussy finally stretches around the thick length. “Wasn’t too bad was it?” His tone was almost condescending. The stretch was some of the worst pain you had ever felt, you almost regretted losing your virginity to someone that was so. Well endowed. Not that you could have possibly known that. “Hurts so badddd-“ You whine when you feel his coarse pubic hair against your bare pussy.
“Don’t be such a whiny baby,” He gives your clit a harsh slap making you yelp. “I’m sorry. Ah!” The feeling of being full is so unfamiliar, but it’s something you can get used to. His cock was so thick, but it filled you to the brim as bad as the stretch felt you knew it would be temporary. “I’ve never had pussy this tight. I should have fucked you a long time ago.”
When he thinks he’s waited enough time he begins to move his hips. “Your pussy is sucking me in. So perverted.” He bites his lip while he tries to savor the feeling of your tightness.
“T-Toji- Need more~” The pain had subsided and waves of pleasure had begun to wash over your body little by little.
“Do you? Such a needy girl.” He presses your plush thighs together. “I’ll give you more, dirty girl.” Toji wants to make you see stars and make sure you never forget this exact moment. As long as he can leave you a begging and whimpering mess he knows he’s done his job.
His hips slam into you over and over again. His balls hit the fat of your ass whenever he sped up. “I love my sweet little Baby. You’re so good and obedient. You belong to me now.” You could tell by his higher tone that he was enjoying this a little too much and getting carried away with such possessive language.
“You let me in raw, what a dirty girl. I need to breed you and make you a mommy.” He’s getting close and you could tell. “You’d like that, I know you would. Being my little pregnant wife.” His fingernails were digging into your soft thighs while he slams in and out.
“The way you’ve looked at me, I know you want this too.” “Breed me Toji,” You don’t need to tell him twice.
“You’re something else- Oh my god- I can’t hold back.” He groans before he feels pleasure wash over his muscular body.
“My god. I came so much so fast.” He sighs before pulling his softening cock out of your hole.
He watches as his warm seed spills out of your abused cunt. “You old perv, did you actually cum inside?” Silence.
1K notes · View notes
ri-writes-if · 1 month
Text
Chapter 2 is released
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LINK
It's here! Around 60K for the whole update, with an average of ~12K words for one playthrough.
I recommend replaying from the start because I edited a couple of variables in the first chapter and something could break if you use a save.
In this chapter
You call tell (or not) the demon of your choice about your curious vision from the first chapter.
Learn what the characters do for fun and have a small discussion about it.
Find new useful information about making most of your abilities and start training with some side help.
Visit the Abyss! Such a great experience.
First romantic choice. It's a light one, but it's a start 💛
Get princess carried if you want.
This chapter introduces the first “pushing away” choices. They will be counted and will affect how the characters react to some things you do or will add some flavor text now and then. These choices won’t lock you from the friendly/romantic routes. However, they do have some other side effects… At least in this chapter.
Small changes
Added ages to the characters’ profiles, including the MC.
Added the option to customize the characters’ gender.
Balanced the characters’ gender in the “both genders” option.
Updated the Codex with a bit more lore information.
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I hope you enjoy this update! If you do, I would love to hear your thoughts on it 💛
A bit of commentary on the "pushing away" choices and next plans under the line.
For the “pushing away” choice in this particular chapter, you will have a choice to apologize or change your mind about it in the next couple of chapters (tentatively) and speak about it with the affected character. I’m still on the fence whether it’ll decrease the overall “pushing” counter or not; I’ll probably decide that when I write these scenes.
This is an experimental feature (that I could delete or change at some point), but I hope I make it work in the story because I think it's a nice idea that negative choices won’t just decrease “relationship points” but also will be remembered by the characters and affect how they view some things you do or say or how they act around you the more you push them away. Especially if you want to smooch them at some point when you were cold to them just recently or for a while, lol.
It’s not perfect, but I’m satisfied with the chapter for now. It feels like I’ve been working on it a bit too long, and after rereading 10+ times to edit it, I’ve grown blind to weak places in it (and also kind of tired of it). I need to let it rest for a bit before returning to hone it, but I’ll probably do it only in the future when I have more chapters written or even after I finish the story since I want to keep moving forward and not stall in one place.
I'll continue planning details for the next chapter and then start drafting it. I've already thought of interesting things to include that could be very fun to write (and to read, hopefully, considering the main topic for the chapter is full of potential 🤭). I'm very excited to work on it, especially since I'm almost done with building the foundations in the story and soon will be able to get to the juicy parts of the plot. And there are also personal side stories of the cast, which will be starting in the next ~two chapters. Can’t wait to get to those too.
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krirebr · 3 months
Text
More Than This 3
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Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x f!reader, Steve Rogers & f!reader
Word Count: ~5.8k
Summary: Arranged marriages have always been used to solidify business deals among the ultra-wealthy. Your stepfather wants to be in business with Harlan Thrombey, so now it's your turn.
Warnings: Heavy angst, age difference, adult themes, institutional sexism, multiple references to vomit (but nothing graphic, I don't think), attempted sex that makes everyone sad - dubcon on both sides, explicit language, the slooowest burn - Warnings will be added as needed for subsequent parts. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
A/N: Alright friends, here we go! Now we're really in it.
A gigantic thank you, as always, to @paperweight91 for reading so much of this and talking it all through with me, especially the last section, which I've been anxious about since I originally conceived of it ages ago. You're the best, Chelsea!
Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. And if you need to come scream at me, that's ok too!
As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜
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You heard Ransom get up in the early hours of the morning and stumble into the bathroom to retch. You were glad he didn’t choke on his vomit, you guessed. You were still on the couch with the TV turned down low. You wondered if he’d come out and see what you were doing, but he just stumbled back to the bed when he was done. 
You didn’t hear him again for several more hours. In that time, you mostly watched TV, dozed a little, fucked around on your phone. Time passed slowly, but it still passed. Soon, the sun was coming up. You were moving across the country today. Your new life was starting whether you wanted it or not.
A few hours later you heard the beginnings of movement in the bedroom. You called down to room service and ordered two carafes of coffee, along with a few different breakfast options, ranging from light to extremely greasy. You didn’t know what his hangovers were like, what they required. But you knew that an especially moody Ransom wouldn’t do you any good. So, a peace offering of a sort. 
The food arrived before he’d shown his face. As you looked at the cart, you thought that while you were trying to start things as well as you could for your own good, it didn’t erase everything he’d done the day before, how he’d treated you. So you made no effort to be quiet as you laid out the food and got the coffee ready. You may have banged the metal covers together as noisily as you could. 
“What the fuck?” Ransom grumbled as he came stumbling out of the bedroom in just his boxer briefs. “Why is there noise?”
“Coffee,” you said, handing him the mug you’d filled. “I didn’t know how you take it.”
He took a sip and just grunted at you and then turned around and went back into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.
You busied yourself by getting your own coffee and munching on some toast. You still had no appetite but figured you should probably eat something. 
A few minutes later, he came back out with a now empty mug. He stopped and stared at you. “Am I still drunk or are you still wearing your wedding dress?”
You tried not to let your embarrassment show. “I couldn’t get it off by myself, so…” you trailed off and shrugged. 
He looked at you for another moment then nodded once. “Give me a minute,” he said, as he poured himself another cup. He drank it quickly, then briefly held his head in his hands. When he looked back up, he took a deep breath, then mumbled “OK.” He came up behind you and lightly touched your dress. “Is there a trick to it?” he asked as he ran a finger down the seam. 
“It’s a long line of hook-and-eyes, you know?”
He hummed and then started at the top. As he worked, he grumbled to himself, which made you feel a little better about not being able to get it off. You’d never stop being surprised by how gentle his hands were. It seemed to be in complete opposition to every other part of him. When he was about halfway down, his knuckles lightly grazed the bare skin of your back and a shudder ran through your whole body. “Sorry,” he said, softly. You just shook your head and didn’t say anything.
When he was done, he quickly took a step back. You held your dress to you, trying to preserve your modesty, even though you knew how silly that was. You just weren’t ready for him to see you, although you doubted that that mattered. “Thank you,” you whispered.
He nodded again, then “You mind if I take the first shower?”
You shook your head and he disappeared into the ensuite. 
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About an hour and a half later, you sat with him in the back of a town car, on your way to the private airfield where one of his family’s planes awaited you. Neither of you said anything. Ransom was staring at something on his phone, while you put all your energy into trying not to have a panic attack. You had no idea what was waiting for you in Boston. You weren’t ready for this. You couldn’t do it.
As the car pulled up to the hangar, you were beyond relieved to see Steve already waiting there, Lola’s travel crate at his feet. The moment the car was parked and turned off, you lept out, not waiting for anyone to open the door for you. You bent down in front of Lola’s crate first and carefully stuck your fingers through the door. “Hi, baby, I missed you.” She kissed your fingers and then whined to be let out. “Not yet, honey,” you said softly. “You have to wait til we’re on the plane.”
You stood up and faced Steve, who was looking you over carefully. “How are you doing?” he asked seriously.
You shrugged and sighed. “Freaking out a little, I guess, but it’ll be fine.”
“And if it isn’t, you’ll call me,” he said, voice firm. “I don’t care where you are or what time it is, you call me. Ok?” You nodded. He opened his mouth to say more, but then the call of your name came from over your shoulder.
You turned to see Ransom standing between you and the jet. Your heart dropped. No, not yet. You needed more time. You needed to be able to actually say goodbye. You couldn’t– “I’ll be on the plane,” he said, voice still scratchy and tired, sunglasses firmly on, despite the overcast day. “Take your time.” He turned around and began walking up the stairs. 
You just stared after him for a moment, surprised. When you turned back to Steve, his lips were curled in disgust. But then the expression quickly changed to something much sadder. “I should have done more,” he said, “gotten you out of here, sent you away or something. I can’t–”
“Steve.” you interrupted. “Please stop. It’s no use now.” You couldn’t listen to any more of this. It had always been inevitable; it’d always been what you were for. Imagining anything else was useless. 
Neither of you said anything for a moment, then he looked around and asked, “Are Dad and Lydia on their way?” 
You tried to keep any hurt out of your expression when you said, “No, something important came up for Joseph and you know Mom has a hard time going anywhere by herself.” You ignored the cracks you heard in your own voice.
Steve’s brow furrowed in confusion and upset. “I would have picked her up,” he said. “Hell, I’ll go get her right now.” 
“I know,” you said sadly. “I told her that, but you know how she is.” You dropped your eyes, not able to look at the anger you knew you’d see on Steve’s face. You were angry too, you were, but mostly now you were just sad. And after thinking about it all night, you honestly weren’t sure how much anger she deserved. She’d been broken for a long time. It’d happened before you’d even known her, probably. It’d been unfair, maybe, to expect her to be strong for you now when she’d never been able to be that before.
Steve said your name and you looked up at him. “You don’t deserve this,” he said firmly. “I know I’ve said it before, but I really need you to understand it. None of this is what you deserve.”
You didn’t know what to say to that, so you just nodded and muttered, “OK.” 
He sighed and shook his head, then pulled you into his arms. “I’m going to miss you so fucking much,” he said into your hair. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without having you just a few minutes away to annoy whenever I want.”
You huffed a laugh into his shoulder. “I’m going to miss you too,” you said. “So much. Even when you’re being so annoying.” The tears were starting now, you weren’t able to hold them back. You pulled back and briefly got a good enough look at Steve’s face to see that his eyes were wet, too, before he knelt in front of Lola’s crate.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he said quietly. “I’m going to miss you too. You take good care of your mom for me.” 
You couldn’t help the little sob that came out of you at that. Fuck. Steve had been stuck to your side since you were six years old. Through absolutely everything. He’d been the one person you could count on for as long as you could remember. And now you were being dragged away from him. 
He stood up and pulled you into another hug. “You’re so strong,” he whispered right in your ear. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
When he pulled back, you knew it was time to go, but you didn’t know how to pull yourself away. This all felt so final.
“Let me know when you land,” he said. “And when you get to the house. And just–” he sighed. “Everything. I want to know everything, ok?”
You nodded and tried to brush the tears from your eyes. “Yeah, ok,” you said, knowing you’d send him the exact amount of information that would keep him from worrying too much. You picked up the dog crate. You locked eyes with him one last time. “I love you.”
His voice was thick when he responded, “I love you too. I’m going to sit right here until you’ve taken off, ok? I’ll be right here.”
“You’re a good brother,” you said, as you slowly took your first step backward, toward the jet. 
“Yes. I am,” he said with a smile that was half cocky and half absolutely heartbreaking. 
With one last deep breath and an “OK,” that was mostly to yourself, you forced yourself to turn around and make your way to the stairs up to the jet. Once you were halfway up, you looked over your shoulder. Steve was leaning against his car. He gave you an encouraging smile and a small wave. You nodded and took the last few steps to board the plane.
A flight attendant was standing right there to greet you. “Welcome aboard, Mrs. Drysdale,” she said and you couldn’t help the way your mouth dropped open in shock. Mrs. Drysdale. That’s who you were now. You tried to pull yourself together and let her show you into the main cabin. It was mostly open, with a few plush seats and tables scattered around. Ransom was already in one, fully reclined with a sleep mask pulled over his eyes. He made no indication that he was awake, so you asked the attendant for a mask for yourself and a glass of water. As she went to fulfill your request, you opened Lola’s little cage and picked her up when she came out. She was nervous, shaking with her little tail tucked between her legs. “It’ll be ok,” you said softly, the tears threatening to stream down again. You took a deep breath and settled the both of you into a seat as far from Ransom as you could get in the small private jet. You gave Lola gentle pets until she sat down on your lap. “We’ll just take a nap,” you said, “and it’ll be over before we know it.”
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“What the fuck is that?”
You woke with a start and pulled off your sleep mask. “Huh?” You sat up to see Ransom and Lola locked in a staredown. 
“What is that?”
“I told you that I had a dog,” you said, confused. 
“That!” Ransom yelled, pointing at Lola, “is not a dog. That’s a long-haired rat!”
“Hey!” you yelled back, just as Lola started retching. “Oh, baby, no!” You knelt down next to her just as she puked right at Ransom’s feet.
“What the shit?!” he cried out, jumping back. 
“She’s stressed, ok? It’s not like I can explain to her what a plane is or where we’re going!” You grabbed what was left of your water and the napkin the flight attendant had brought with the glass and tried to clean it up. “Shit,” you mumbled to yourself.
“What are you doing?” He stood over you with his hands on his hips.
“I’m cleaning it up so you don’t freak out, ok? It’ll be fine, just give me a minute.”
“Get up.”
“What?”
“You don’t need to do that. The crew probably has a steam cleaner or something. My dad uses this plane. I’m sure they’ve seen worse.” He walked to the front of the cabin and knocked on the divider. When the attendant came, Ransom quietly told her, “The dog got sick. I assume you have something to clean it up.” 
She nodded and quickly came out with a portable steam cleaner and made quick work of Lola’s mess. 
“Thank you,” you told her.
“No problem at all, Mrs. Drysdale,” she smiled and went back to the galley.
“Well, that’s a real mindfuck,” Ransom said as he flopped back into his seat. He glared down at Lola, “She gonna do that again?”
“I don’t know,” you said, gently picking her up and holding her close to try to comfort her.
He pulled his sleep mask down over his eyes. “Great, love being a rat-dog owner.”
“She isn’t your dog,” you said curtly. 
“Whatever. This hangover is still pounding against my skull. Wake me when we land.” 
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When you landed in Boston, Ransom led you to where his vintage beamer was parked and you both squeezed into it. The slightly hysterical thought struck you that it wouldn’t be suitable at all once there was a baby to cart around. You pushed that thought away. No use getting ahead of yourself.
Ransom’s house was on the edge of the city, surrounded by more trees than you expected. From the outside, it was mostly glass. Very modern. It felt cold.
He parked the car and grabbed the few bags you both had with you. The rest of your things would be delivered the next day. He showed you inside without much pomp or circumstance, just walked in ahead of you, and left the door open.
The majority of the first floor seemed to be one large, open-plan room. It was sparsely decorated and the pieces that were there seemed to be lifted wholesale from the pages of an upscale furniture catalog. There was nothing of Ransom in this house. Not that you really knew him well enough to say, but you didn’t think there was any information to be gleaned from his living space either. It all felt very empty. It was not what you had expected.
You set Lola down on the hardwood floor and she immediately ran off to explore. You crossed your fingers that she wouldn’t get into anything, not able to forget Ransom’s threat that he’d make you get rid of her if she messed anything up. You glanced over at Ransom to gauge if he was upset that you’d let her roam on her own, but he wasn’t paying any attention, leafing through a pile of mail left on the kitchen island. 
He must have felt you watching him, because without looking up he said, “Bedroom’s upstairs. I’ll bring our things up later.”
You nodded even though he wasn’t looking at you. You grabbed your bag, not wanting to wait for him, and made your way up the staircase in the middle of the living room. Judging by how he’d treated you so far, you figured he planned to tuck you away in some guest room, out of his way except for when he needed you. It wasn’t unheard of in marriages like this, and you would honestly be grateful to have your own space. But as you looked through the rooms upstairs, you found a home gym, a study, and 2 storage rooms. There’d also been a bathroom and a few closets. The only room left had to be his, but you couldn’t imagine he’d want to share that with you. You very gingerly walked in and set your bag at the foot of the bed. You didn’t spend any more time there, afraid that you might be wrong.
When you went back downstairs, he was now rummaging through his fridge. “I put my bag in the bedroom upstairs,” you said to his back. 
He just grunted his assent, then came out with two glass containers in his hands. He plated them both and put one in the microwave. “I have a housekeeper that comes three times a week and usually prepares meals for the whole week. You can give her any food preferences you have.”
You nodded. “I enjoy cooking,” you said, your mother's advice to ‘keep him happy’ floating in your mind. “I can make dinner too, sometimes.”
He nodded and shrugged as he took the plate out of the microwave and placed it in front of you on the island. You took a seat on one of the stools. “If you want,” he said, “but I don’t expect it.” He put his own plate in the microwave.
“Do you have any other staff?” you asked.
He shook his head. “Not for the house, not right now.”
You understood the implication that the staff would grow as your family did. A nanny, a driver, a gardener maybe, if you moved to a house that required one.
It was the lack of a driver that made you nervous. You’d never gone without one at home. You also hadn’t seen a large garage on the property, so you guessed there weren’t any extra cars around. You felt stuck in this house already, shut in like he didn’t want you to leave.
When his food was heated, he sat beside you and you ate together in silence. The food was fine, you were sure, but you couldn’t taste it. Your mind was ahead of you, wondering what the rest of the night held. 
When you were done, Ransom loaded your dishes into the dishwasher and then said, “I don’t know about you, but I’m beat, so I’m just going straight to bed. Feel free to stay up if you want. I’m a heavy sleeper so you won’t wake me when you come in.”
“Oh,” you said, trying to hide your surprise. So he did intend for you to share his room. But apparently, just for sleeping. You were relieved. You were. The little voice in your head that wouldn’t stop whispering that he didn’t want you didn’t count. “I’m still three hours behind, so I might stay up a little longer.” Doing what, you had no idea. You didn’t have any of your things and you weren’t sure what was off-limits here yet. And you were exhausted, still hadn’t recovered from not sleeping the night before. But you just couldn’t deal with the awkwardness of going to bed at the same time as him.
“OK,” he said and then just stood there, looking surprisingly lost. After a couple of endless minutes, he just said, “Goodnight,” and finally went upstairs.
You grabbed your phone out of your handbag, unsurprised to see multiple messages from Steve, checking in on you. You sent him one back, assuring him that the flight had been fine, the drive to the house was fine, you were fine. You collected Lola from where she was curled up on a rug, quickly fed her and let her out, and then brought her and her crate upstairs. After a few minutes of internal debate, you decided to set her up in the gym, fairly certain that even in her crate, Ransom wouldn’t want her in his bedroom. It took a lot of coaxing to get her in. She was so used to sharing your bed. She whined when you closed the little grate and your heart broke. “I’m so sorry,” you whispered. “You’ll get used to it. It’ll be ok.”
You quietly went into the bedroom and Ransom was, indeed, already asleep, spread out on his stomach again, but luckily this time only taking up one side of the bed. He’d left the lamp on the opposite side on for you. You took your sleep clothes out of your bag and brought your toiletries into the ensuite, unpacking only what you’d need for the night. His things were all piled around one of the side-by-side sinks, but the other was clear for you. You went through your nightly routine quickly and then went back into the bedroom and very carefully climbed into bed. He didn’t stir. You turned off the lamp and settled at the edge of the bed. Your exhaustion took you quickly.
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When you woke in the morning, Ransom was gone.
Your things were delivered a few hours after you woke. You started by trying to organize the boxes into the least obtrusive pile possible. You hoped that if they were tucked into a corner, he wouldn’t be too annoyed while you took your time going through them. You started with a few of the smaller boxes, unpacking the items into places you hoped they could go.
You took Lola for a walk around the neighborhood. It was sparsely populated, the houses spaced far apart. You didn’t run into any neighbors.
One of the walk-in closets in the bedroom had been cleared out for you, so you spent the afternoon unpacking all your clothes. By the time you were done, it was time for dinner. There was still no sign of Ransom.
You fed Lola and helped yourself to one of the meals in the fridge. You ate alone and after you cleaned up, you dug a book out of one of your boxes and settled on one of the not-very-comfortable couches with Lola to read. You didn’t know if she was allowed on the furniture – you were sure she wasn’t, actually – but Ransom wasn’t here to see it, so you couldn’t find it within yourself to care. 
As you were finishing the second chapter in your book, he walked through the front door. With how the house was set up, he had a clear view of you and Lola from the door. “Hi,” was all he said.
“Hi,” was all you could say back.
He just stood there for a moment and then took off his coat and shoes. “How was your day?” he asked, stiffly, as he came into the living room. 
“Fine,” you said. Then you realized he was actually attempting conversation and added, “My things came, so I got started unpacking.”
He nodded, “That’s good. Did you eat?”
“I did,” you said, hoping that was the right answer. “Can I get you some food?”
“No, I’m fine. I ate at the office.” Well, that answered where he’d been all day – his family’s publishing house.
He cleared his throat. “I’m going to go upstairs to unwind. Will you be heading up soon?” 
Oh. Right. It’d finally come. “Yeah,” you said, your mouth suddenly dry. “I’ll just get Lola settled and then join you.”
He looked down at your dog in your lap like he was noticing her for the first time. But he didn’t say anything, just nodded and walked upstairs.
You let Lola out the back door for just a couple minutes, then took her upstairs. It was even harder to get her into her crate this time, even after you buried treats in her blankets. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you cooed, once you finally had her locked in. “I promise it won’t always be this hard and scary. It’ll be ok.”
Ransom was waiting for you in his room, sitting in an armchair by the window. “We should talk,” he said quietly.
“Ok.” You perched on the edge of the bed and did your best to look him in the eye, even as your heart was racing. 
He took a deep breath and leaned forward. “We don’t–” he started, then another breath. “There’s nothing that we have to do tonight. I mean, we can certainly get the first time out of the way, if that’s what you want to do. But it doesn’t have to be now. We have time.”
You wanted to be relieved, but it just felt like delaying the inevitable. “We don’t, actually,” you said shaking your head. “We don’t have that much time. Especially if it takes a while. If there’s going to be an issue getting pregnant, on either side, I think the sooner we know the better. I don’t want to be blindsided by it when we only have a month left.”
“Ok,” he nodded. “That makes sense. Yeah, we can get it over with.”
You were proud of yourself for the way you didn’t wince at his phrasing, but it was a near thing. But was it really fair to be upset or hurt by that when it was how you were feeling too? You wanted to stop delaying it. You were ready to just know how it was going to be, what he would want. So yeah, maybe ‘get it over with’ wasn’t such a bad way to put it. 
He stood up and sighed, looking like he was bracing himself. “I do need to know, have you done this before?”
You swallowed. The question wasn’t unexpected but you weren’t sure how to answer it and didn’t know which answer he was looking for. You decided to be honest and hoped it would be ok. “Yes, I’ve had sex,” you said, quietly.
He let out a long exhale in relief. “Ok,” he said, “ok, that’s good.” 
You stood up, unsure of what to do. You just wanted to be on the other side of it. You suddenly thought of what you’d just told Lola. It wouldn’t always be this hard and scary. You would get used to it. You just had to get through this first time. And then you’d know how he was. Resolved now, you started taking off your shirt.
“Wait,” he said, breathed really. “Just wait.”
Your shirt was already halfway off, stuck on your arms above your head, so you shucked it the rest of the way and threw it on the floor, but didn’t do anything else.
He came over and stood so he was in your space. He brought his hand up to cup your face, his thumb on your cheekbone. And very slowly, he ducked his head to bring his lips to yours. There was something about it. The intimacy. Even with what you knew you were about to do with him. You just– A kiss was too much. You turned away. You couldn’t do it.
Instead, your hands went to unbutton your pants. You undid it slowly then bent over with your back to him to push them down your legs, sticking your ass out as much as you could. That was better than a kiss, right? You could make him want you.
You kicked your pants off and stood back up, looking over your shoulder to see him watching you. But his face was unreadable. You weren’t ready for him to touch you, so you said, “I can get myself ready for you,” hoping it came off coy, but you were afraid he’d be able to hear how your voice shook. For the briefest moment, you almost thought you saw something travel across his face. Disappointment, maybe. But it was gone too fast for you to be able to tell, and you were trying so hard to look away, anyway.
You got on the bed, lying on your back, sliding your panties off as seductively as you could. You closed your eyes tight and slowly moved one hand down your abdomen while the other started to play with your breast, cupping it, tweaking your nipple. As your other hand slipped between your thighs, you brought up your go-to fantasy. Nothing fancy or outlandish. Just a man standing over you, touching you, telling you how much he loved you, how much he loved your body. How he was going to ruin you, completely take you apart. You tried to focus on that as your fingers slowly made their way between your folds, as they made their way to your clit. But this room kept pulling you back to reality. You could hear Ransom taking his clothes off. You tried to ignore it. You were starting to get wet, slowly but surely, so you carefully pushed one finger inside yourself, trying so hard to focus on the man, his voice. You heard a bottle of lube flick open. No, no, you weren’t here, as you added another finger. You could hear Ransom’s hand on his cock now as your thumb continued to rub your clit. You opened your eyes despite yourself. Ransom was kneeling on the edge of the bed, stroking himself to hardness. It was the first time you’d seen him fully naked. He really was so beautiful. You sort of hated him for it. 
You closed your eyes again. You could do this. You scissored your fingers slowly, opening yourself up, a little whine escaping your lips, when suddenly, you felt a hand wrap around your ankle. You wanted to scream in frustration. It was no use. Your hands dropped down to your sides. You were ready enough. It wouldn’t hurt, it was fine. You blinked your eyes open again to find Ransom staring at your face, searching for something. You couldn’t begin to guess what. “I’m ready,” you said. 
“Are you sure?” he asked, voice soft, but gritty.
“Yeah, I’m good. How do you want me?”
He seemed almost startled by your question. “Uh, however you’re most comfortable.”
You nodded and flipped over onto your stomach, pulling your knees up toward your elbows and putting your ass in the air. This would be easiest if you didn’t have to look at him. If you could imagine someone else. Someone who loved you. Someone who wanted to be here. 
You heard the bottle of lube again and then felt him settle between your legs. One hand was on your ass and you presumed he was using the other to line himself up. You pushed your face into the pillow underneath you. You tried to bring the fantasy back as he slowly eased inside of you. He was big, but not so big it hurt. You breathed through it as he worked his way in with short, slow thrusts. He was being so gentle with you. You weren’t sure if you liked it. The hand on your ass moved to your hip, while the other snaked around to your stomach, softly stroking you there, then moved down over your pelvis, and then finally between your thighs to search for your clit. He found it quickly. But no matter how hard you closed your eyes, his fingers made it impossible for you to pretend that it was anyone else with you, anyone else touching you. Without thinking, you pushed his hand away and replaced it with your own. 
He was making little grunts and gasps behind you that you tried to ignore. You rubbed furious circles over your clit and tried to focus only on the fullness you felt. But then, that fullness started to lessen. The grunts behind you turned into a “Shit.” and then a “Fuck!” and suddenly, that fullness completely disappeared. You let out a little cry as he quickly pulled out of you. You turned around to catch a glimpse of his softening cock before he disappeared into the bathroom, the door slamming behind him. 
You lay on your back for just a moment, your mind trying to catch up, figure out what on earth had just happened. That voice that had been there this whole time, since that first meeting a month ago, came back with smug satisfaction. He doesn’t want you, it said, over and over. Your thighs were sticky, probably mostly from the lube. You didn’t think your wetness or his precome had been enough to make a mess out of you. You got up, desperate to not be naked anymore.  You grabbed a sleep shirt out of the closet you were using and slipped it on. You hugged yourself, standing in the middle of the room with no idea what to do. 
In the silence, with nothing else to focus on, you were suddenly aware of Lola crying across the hall. Fuck. Everything just kept getting worse.
Ransom came out of the bathroom and went straight to the bed. He stopped at the foot, seemingly surprised that you weren’t still in it. He looked up and found you on the other side of the room. 
“Is everything ok?” you asked quietly.
“It’s fine,” he said, voice sharp. You flinched and he sighed, then visibly tried to calm himself down. “It’s fine,” he said again, much softer this time. He held out a washcloth to you. “In case you need to clean yourself up.”
You took a few steps toward him so that you could grab it. “Thank you,” you said, as you quickly wiped between your legs, then went to finish cleaning up in the bathroom. 
When you came back out, he was back in bed, on his back, just staring at the ceiling. “What’s that noise?” he asked.
“Oh, it’s fine,” you hurried to answer. “It’s Lola, but she’s ok. She just isn’t used to sleeping alone. She’ll get used to it, eventually.” Your heart broke as you spoke, but you knew it couldn’t be avoided. 
“Where does she usually sleep?” he asked.
It took you a minute to answer, you were so surprised by the question. “Uh, with me,” you said.
“Then go get her,” he said, without looking at you. He hadn’t looked at you since you’d come out of the bathroom.
“Really?” you whispered.
“Yeah, if it stops her crying.”
You didn’t wait to be told again. You hurried across the hall and opened her crate, scooping her up into your arms. “I’m so sorry,” you cooed. “I’m so, so sorry. It’s going to be ok now.”
When you got back to the room, Ransom had turned off his light and turned over onto his side, facing the wall. You placed Lola on the bed and crawled in after her. As you turned off your own lamp, you whispered, “Thank you,” not sure if he was awake to hear it.
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endless-ineffabilities · 10 months
Text
Maroon (part three)
modern!Aemond Targaryen x f!reader
You were standin' hollow-eyed in the hallway Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us
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A series loosely based on the song Maroon of off Midnights by Taylor Swift ▪︎ read more Daemon & Aemond midnights imagines here: masterlist
series list: part one - part two - part three - part four -
themes/warnings: angst!, mutual pining, jealous!Aemond, language, description of accident/injury, Aemond in his stalker era
word count: 8.7k
a/n: proposed ages of the characters in this series - Viserys (64), Daemon (55), Alicent (53), Rhaenyra (44), Aemond (26), Helaena (25), Daeron (22), Aegon (30), Lucerys (22), Jacaerys (25), Joffrey (15), Alys (35) ---- as much as I'd like to pretend this took 5 minutes... heh. The Math simply wasn't Mathing for a long while. Anywho, just thought I'd write this in since I've aged up the characters.
Also - with all the time I've spent on this fic, I've decided to ultimately restructure part three. So part four will cover the night of the Dragonstone ball, where it's all about to go down.
Everything that occurs leading up to the Dragonstone ball - the outcome of the accident, Aemond struggling with his current state, and the reader left hoping for a love, that perhaps, never truly was.
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Lucerys Velaryon has already garnered quite the reputation, at only 22 years old. 
A darling of the masses, everyone loved the young heir to Driftmark, a great company built by his grandfather, the notorious shipping tycoon, Corlys Velaryon.
But having the name Velaryon is a double-edged sword for Luke.
It only increases his privilege and prestige, already being a Targaryen on his mother’s side. Luke is set for life; he has everything he could ever need at his disposal. As a young boy, he has always enjoyed cars. Tinkering with them under the guidance of his father Laenor, as well as his uncle Daemon. Luke got himself into kart racing at the age of 9. Illegal street racing, much to his mother’s disappointment, at the age of 14. And just recently, he has been competing in Formula 2 division racing.
From the outside, he is just like any other boy. Apart from the fact that his family is literally worth billions, that is. 
But Luke has never been content. He has never been self-assured, borne out of the truth, one that everyone simply chooses not to mention, that Laenor Velaryon is not his true father. That he is a bastard, and therefore, not the rightful heir to Driftmark. He has always known this, despite his mother’s pleas otherwise. He knows this each time he hears the employees of Driftmark whisper amongst themselves after he passes by. Whenever he is invited to sit in the council meeting of the company, he feels his true status in how the shareholders disregard his opinions like he’s just some intern.
He grew up amidst the tension between himself and his brothers, and their young uncles, especially Aemond. When Aemond and Lucerys were growing up together, they simply did not learn to exist well around one another. Luke had bullied his young uncle long ago - an act of rebellion, of a boy growing up with resentment in his bones -  when Aemond had been weak and scrawny as a child. Aemond retaliated in kind; but he finally matured and found some inner calm in his mid-twenties. A year or two before you met him.
Luke's uneasiness has only worsened, now that he is nearly set to take his place on Driftmark. Since his family hails from Valyria, everyone expects them to uphold the tradition of only passing down inheritance to rightful heirs. Never bastard children or outliers.
But what the hell. Luke has never been one to follow the rules. His very existence does not abide by them, so why should he?
The night of the accident, Luke had to sit in yet another board meeting for the company. This time, Aemond was there too. Only he was treated as he should, being a Targaryen. Like someone capable, someone worthy. 
It should not have made any difference, really. Luke thought he was used to it all by now - the stares, the hushed whispers, the poorly masked scorn. They think Aegon or Aemond to be more competent. If the board had their way, it would not be Luke who would inherit Driftmark. Perhaps, his grandfather’s brother, Vaemond. Or hell, even his cousins Baela and Rhaena, though they never expressed any interest in the business.
Anyone but Luke.
-----------------------------
As a child, Aemond Targaryen saw himself as some kind of a ghost. A spectre simply moving around his family, their company, their horde of sycophants. Not the first to be considered. Not the designated heir to anything. The second son of the owner and chief executive of Dragonstone, and his much younger, barely beloved second wife.
Once upon a time, his father Viserys had been well and truly happy. 
He was married to the love of his life, Aemma, and they had a lovely daughter who was loved by all due to her charm and fiery nature. 
When Aemma passed in childbirth, Viserys had been near inconsolable. But he could not remain so for very long. Soon enough, his board of trustees, his advisors, urged him to remarry. He did not have an heir yet after all, and as per tradition, he soon needed to have a son so that he might raise him to become the next CEO and owner of their business empire.
But Viserys decided to essentially bypass such tradition, for less than a year after his wife’s passing, he had publicly announced his only daughter as his successor. It did not matter what the board of trustees or the shareholders preferred. They may have considerable sway over the affairs of the company, but in the end, the word of Viserys prevails.
And so Aemond and his three siblings have been pushed to the periphery. Not that they ever stood a chance anyway. In the end, their father will always uphold his precious Rhaenyra over them. Their mother plays the part of a mere trophy wife, though she is a noble Hightower herself, having to feign contentment in spite of all the times she and her children are slighted. 
Aemond thought himself calmer now, and matured. Painstakingly made every effort to be far from that weak boy who had no place anywhere. He is still unsure if he likes the person that he is, and perhaps he never has. But he morphed - or masked - this self-loathing into an unfailing desire to do better, to be better. He’s always wanted more. And he has learned to be strong for his mother, his sister. Himself. 
And now, you. How unpredictable you had been, bursting into his life like the Dornish comet of ‘07. He knew early on that you liked him, sort of, with how your eyes would dart back and forth to his direction whenever he’s in the room. 
It made him uneasy, at first, when his looks developed in such a way that garnered him plenty of attention. The spectre of the city turned ‘Prince of the city’, a strapping young man who can have anyone he wishes. 
But, funnily enough, all those socialites, models, glorified urban princesses with millionaire parents, Aegon’s harem of traditionally near-perfect friends from Lys that he often offers - none of them ever stood a chance to you, his sister Helaena’s earnest, gentle, and quick-witted best friend. 
Aemond would be lying if he said he fell for you immediately. It would be far from his nature to do such a thing. But he had, slowly, found himself enveloped in your light, and only feeling warm, only feeling home - only feeling like he could truly love himself - when you look at him with those soul-piercing eyes of yours. Maybe he isn’t so bad after all, if you can see him in the way you do. And he trusts your judgement; when you profess to want him in turn,  then he must be worth more than he thinks.
But the night of the accident, his forsaken shadow seemed to envelop him like an old friend. One that he can never shake. His anger, his darkness. He had long buried the Aemond Targaryen who frequently got into fistfights. The Aemond who deliberately ordered the expulsion of certain people he simply did not like from the employ of their company. The Aemond who chose to openly mock the truth of his raven-haired cousins’ parentage.
That night, that Aemond resurfaced, and with dire consequences. 
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The night of the accident, four months before the Dragonstone ball
The storm had begun just before the board meeting ended. Heavy rain spattered against the Driftmark tower, with the night sky illuminated by streaks of lightning.
Aemond and Lucerys were coming to a head at the council table, and the other members were having to intervene at multiple points, just to mitigate the rising tension. The storm brewing inside the young men’s hearts could easily rival the one threatening to flood the streets.
Lucerys repeatedly interrupted Aemond’s suggestions, having grown tired of his own being cast aside by everyone else. 
“Wait for your turn to speak, my Strong nephew.” Aemond smoothly countered when he did not get to finish addressing Vaemond Velaryon.
“I didn’t think what you were saying was particularly important, uncle.” Luke retaliated in kind.
“Hmm. Some things never change, it seems. You still don’t know your place.”
“My place will soon be the highest seat of Driftmark. And you will still be grandfather’s second son, a mere placeholder at Dragonstone.”
“Please, sirs,” the meeting director complained. “We must get on with more urgent matters.”
Aemond and Luke barely contribute for the remaining minutes, opting to glare and sneer at each other from across the table.
But their council tiffs would not end up being the most unpleasant occurrence for that night. As if the storm also cast its darkness over their reasoning, they soon found themselves racing towards Gods Eye.
-----------------------------
It was meant to be a game. A show of bravado. Two young men, though in their depths still wounded boys, found themselves spewing offenses in an attempt to lower the other.
“You might inherit Driftmark, but everyone knows the truth, plain as day. You will always be a bastard.”
“Sure, but I am still more than you. What have you ever truly accomplished, uncle? Poor y/n, if she’s fallen for your tricks. Does she know who you truly are? She’s too bloody good for you.”
When Luke raised the challenge of racing to the edge of the cliff of Gods Eye, Aemond grasped at the opportunity to humiliate his nephew. To prove all of his claims to be wrong.
It might have been either one of them, or both, who deigned to edge their car close to the other’s, trying to veer it off course. Just a little nudge to make it spin out of the road.
But the turbulent weather was strong, causing mud and water to pool along the gravel. When the cars collided, Aemond’s took the brunt of the hit. Before he could even register the impact, his car was already spinning right towards the treeline. 
Luke had veered off road, his car rotating upside down. His right leg suffered from multiple fractures, including a busted knee cap.
But Aemond… 
His screams resounded despite the ceaseless pattering of rain, louder than even the roaring thunder overhead. A shard of glass had been wedged deep on one side of his face, splitting the flesh open. 
So much blood had pooled into his one remaining eye, that he feared he went entirely blind. The memory of your face flashed across his mind, and he despaired at the thought of never being able to see you again.
Later in the operating room, when the full extent of his injuries was delineated to him, Aemond thought that perhaps, it is you who would never want to see him again.
Why would you, with what has now become of his appearance?
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Two months before the Dragonstone ball
You’re finding it hard not to keep tabs on Aemond, still asking Helaena every now and then if he’s really alright. To which she always responds with some version of “He’s okay. He just needs some time.”
Time. That’s fine. You suppose that the accident must have shaken him up, enough to cause him to go into hiding and to avoid everyone.
Unfortunately… painfully, including you. 
You find your mind drifting back to him every day - during your lectures, at work, at home, whenever you’re spending time with Helaena and you’re trying so hard to simply not just pester her about her brother. 
You think back to those secret moments you shared in crowded rooms, up in their penthouse, whenever Aegon would throw a party. Back then, you did not know one another yet, not really. But he would sit on the couch adjacent to yours, shoot you a smile, and silently keep you company while you wait for Helaena to return. He did so because he could sense that you were anxious, and that loud gatherings aren’t really your thing, as he revealed to you when you were… dating. As short of a time as that might have been. 
Gradually, you got to know him, in all those rare moments. His knowing, mischievous smiles. The subtitles nuances in his expression. His calculated manner of speaking.
You knew him, you had him, you lost him. Well, you do still know him - he is your friend, is he not? But it just as well could have been the end, the night of the accident. He has become a kind of spectre to you, leaving you yearning for what could have been. 
Weekends offer some respite from the whole ordeal of having to miss him. Your job at the bookstore allows you to just sit in silence, entertain customers once in a while, and bury your nose in your book-of-the-week.
Once in a while, a friend even drops by. This time, Jace burst through the entryway, bell chiming in his wake, beaming with a brown takeaway bag in one hand.
“Hey, stranger,” you put down your novel, and leave your post on the counter to greet your dear friend with a tight hug. Jace takes note of the fact that your smile doesn’t reach your eyes, and his spirits sink. But he immediately gets to work on making you feel better.
“I’d say you’re going to love me for this, but you probably do already,” he says, presenting you with the paper bag.
“Don’t be so sure,” you jokingly say, narrowing your eyes at him, before peering inside, hit with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and pastries.
You shrug, starting to dig in with no hesitation. “Actually, good of you to be sure.”
He laughs as you drop the bag on the counter, and rip it open to reveal all the goods. He takes his own coffee and leans closer to have a bite of the profiterole you eagerly wave in front of his face.
“Thanks,” you manage to puff out, with a mouthful of pastry. 
“Anytime, sweet.” Jace swallows, giving you a once over. “How are you holding up?”
It’s hard to act all nonchalant when he gives me those puppy-dog eyes. Jace’s innate sincerity almost makes you want to just cave in and vent all about Aemond.  “Nice of you to be concerned, but it’s not like I was the one who got into an accident.”
“I know, sassy, but I also know that you and Aemond were… you have seen him recently, no?” he asks, sounding certain of the answer to his question, which downright confuses you.
“No,” you shake your head. “Along with the rest of the city, I haven’t seen nor heard anything from him.”
“Really?” he remarks, incredulous.
“Come on, Jace,” you take a comforting sip of coffee, still warm. “You know this. He doesn’t want to see me.”
“Huh,” his head tilts back slightly as he mulls over your response. “It’s just…”
“What?”
“I could’ve sworn that was his car parked across the street. Right outside.” he says, jutting his thumb over his shoulder. You freeze, but your eyes are drawn straight toward the shop windows.
“That’s not - ,” That’s not possible, you want to say. But your feet already drag you to the edge of the shop, with Jace in tow. “Which one is his?” you ask, knowing Aemond’s got quite a few cars, privileged boy that he is. Your voice comes out in a hushed tone, as if you don’t want Aemond himself to hear. Ridiculous, you chide yourself, it probably isn’t even him.
“That silver Jaguar idling on the curb,” Jace answers, and you see it. Slantwise on the opposite side of the road, stopped right before the bus stop across the bookshop.
“Are you sure?”What the hell could he be here for? You didn’t want to admit it, but you feel the hope right in your bones. You want him here, of course. You want him to come see you.
“Yes,” Jace easily replies. “There’s only one vehicle in the city with that personalized plate."
Before you can stop yourself, you take a tentative step outside, hand still on the shop door.. I’m sure he can see me, if he’s really there.
The windows of the Jaguar have the darkest tint, making it nearly impossible to see inside. 
“That’s him,” Jace says from behind you. “He doesn’t let anyone else drive his cars. I even thought he was already inside the shop when I arrived.”
“Well shit,” you breathe, your heart racing in your chest. “What do I do?”
“What is he doing?”
“Fuck it.” You only manage to take a step forward on the sidewalk before the car roars to life, engine purring smoothly. Aemond maneuvers the car from its spot and leaves, driving right past you, a cloud of leaves and dust billowing all around.
“What the fuck?” Jace scoffs, thoughtfully waving his arm around to keep the dust from your face. “What is he on?”
“Aemond,” his name escapes your lips in a soft whisper. A silent plea that will never reach him, but you say it all the same. That it doesn’t matter to you, whatever state he is in after the accident. That even though he chose Alys over you, you can understand, or at least try to. He is still the same boy who captured your heart not so long ago. 
But why did he just leave? What is he so scared of?
“Come on,” Jace says, holding the door open for you. “Your coffee’s getting cold.”
When you go past the entryway, you turn on your heel and hang up the ‘On a break. Come back soon’ sign on the door. Sighing heavily, you shrug at Jace, “What a day, huh. You sure know how to bring drama with you.”
Jace only smiles, well-used to your banter, “How is this my fault?”
“I dunno,” you raise your hands, and walk back to the counter. You’re not sure how you feel at the moment - anxious, worried, disappointed? It’s all up in a haze since Aemond suspiciously drove off, and so, you can’t control the flood of dry sarcasm spilling out of you. Like some kind of coping mechanism. “You must have called Aemond here, so you two can drive my poor heart into a frenzy. Like I don’t already have a lot on my plate.”
“Oh yeah, definitely.” Jace slowly nods, playing along. “Aemond hasn’t even spoken to me since everything went down. But I definitely sought him out today, and definitely forced him to watch you from out there in his car like some obsessed creep.”
“I knew it!”
-----------------------------
Fifteen minutes into your impromptu break, the tone has lightened to some degree, and you sit at a corner table with Jace, sipping the remains of your coffee.
After a lot more banter, and catching up about Luke, Joff, and the rest of his family - those who can still tolerate your presence,that is - Jace finds you staring blankly at a bookshelf. “Hey,” he says, “I don’t think my uncle is hiding in between those books.”
“Ha-ha.”
“Anyway, enough about him, eh?” Jace offers, taking your hand from across the table. “I actually wanted to ask you something.”
You squeeze his hand in return, staring back into his doe brown eyes, “Yeah?”
“Seeing as Aemond isn’t taking you to the Dragonstone ball,” he pauses, gauging your reaction. He decides that it’s all good when you remain impassive, “How would you like to come with me instead? I did mean to ask you, you know, but dear uncle beat me to it.”
“Oh.” Your hand loosens around his a bit, as you take in his words. “Well, I mean I would love to but - ”
Jace adds quickly, as if he is already reading the thoughts whirring through your mind. “No pretenses about it, I assure you. I’m not expecting anything else. Just that you honour me by being my partner to the ball.”
“Mmm,” your shoulders relax, and you find yourself smiling at Jace’s heartfelt nature. One that immediately warmed you to him when you first met. “Partners, huh?”
His tongue makes a clicking sound in confirmation. “What do you say?” 
“Jace,” you start, weighing the options in your mind. “I would go with you, of course - ”
“That settles it then.”
“- but I just… I don’t know, if… Aemond does not want to see me, maybe I shouldn’t just show up at the ball?”
Jace rolls his eyes, “He doesn’t own the bloody ball, you know. He can’t control whether you come or not.” He leans in, voice lowering like he’s sharing a devious ploy, “Besides, if he doesn’t want to see you, then why would he be loitering across the street simply to watch you through the shop windows? Let’s be real now, eh?”
Fair point. You reply, “Far be it from me to know what he’s up to.”
“So come to the ball with me and ask him yourself. I’ll even back you up. With my own pitchfork and everything.” The way his eyes blaze in excitement sparks something in you. Being around Jace is always fun, like you’re free to do anything - you could even cause any kind of trouble and he would only be cheering you on. 
If only… if only you liked him the way you do a certain someone, then you might actually have a greater sense of calm. Your self-doubt might be assuaged, your days brighter. 
But no. It is Aemond who fills your wandering thoughts. Aemond who haunts your sleepless nights. It was him who nearly made your heart stop that night on their rooftop, who laughed with you and held you close when you were a fumbling, wine-stained mess. 
Perhaps unfortunately so… it is Aemond whom you love.
That realization makes you straighten in your seat, scaring some sense back into you. Fuck, what am I even thinking? It’s Jace right in front of me. Jace who is asking me to the ball. 
“You got yourself a deal, mister,” you playfully hold your hand out for him to shake.
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Later that night, the Targaryen penthouse in the Crownlands Tower is relatively quiet. Most of the family is away, save for Helaena, their housekeeper Talia…
… and Aemond, who sits in front of his desk, staring at the object atop it which is aglow under lamplight. His eye drifts to the metal surface of the lampshade itself, and he sees it. A scar stretched from his forehead to his cheekbone, with its edges tinged with maroon. 
Revolting. It’ll take some time to heal, they all say. Well it’s been two long fucking months, and it doesn’t feel any better. Nothing feels right.
It isn’t fair, his mother wailed upon seeing him. None of this is. It was the rogue Lucerys’ fault, she insisted, for egging Aemond to go on a damned speed chase in the middle of fucking storm.
His father Viserys merely appraised him for a long moment, before mumbling something that sounded like, “I am sorry this happened, but you’ll be alright”. Then to his mother, “Lucerys is injured as well. This is what they’ve always done, as you know. Luke and Aemond don’t really get along but they’re grown now.”
He added with a warning gaze to Aemond, “They have to learn to be civil to one another. We are all family, after all.”
“Family,” Alicent spat the word like a curse. “Family should not be the cause of grievous harm.”
Aemond remembers the shrug that Viserys did. It is a gesture he has seen endlessly, it might even be the first thing he remembers of his father. All of his pains, and his achievements will always be met with a nonchalant gesture. Some father he is.
There’s only one thing that would make Aemond feel better in this moment, and even that, he cannot allow himself to have. He shall not present himself, this self, to you. He looks at his reflection and he hates what he sees. Perhaps he always has. But he also learned to love himself around you. How easy it can be, like second nature. 
Maybe he was drawn to the fact that you are not from his world, with all its intrigue and playacting. How you choose not to perceive status as a tool, and how you can be kind to anyone. You, the girl who always keeps a book in her bag, even at parties, even if she most likely won’t have time to read it. Just in case, you had said, you never know. You, though very well-mannered, called one of Helaena’s so-called friends a “spoiled cunt”, when you heard her making nasty jokes at Helaena’s expense behind her back.
“Sorry you had to hear that,” you had said to Aemond in a grumbling tone, still quite irate, when you found out that he was just in the library adjacent to their living room. “They were just being so… so…”
“Fucking rude?” he finished your thought, his dimples showing in amusement when your eyes widened. “Don’t worry, doll. Maybe I would have done the same. Though that Beatrice would never say shit about Helaena in front of me, seeing as she tried to claw off my jacket once. Her fake nail got caught in the leather. Her attempt at seduction, I suppose.”
Your mouth fell open, then closed once more. You were at a loss. Your blood was just boiling at having to confront Beatrice, who has thankfully left the penthouse, and now Aemond is standing in front of you. Aemond, sharing some story, in good humour. About some girl trying to get with him, and failing. Later on, you will find yourself jumping in frustration in your living room, thinking how in the hell your mind must have short-circuited because you responded with, “It’s a good thing I keep my fingernails trimmed and plain then.”
It was Aemond's turn to stand there, lips parted in surprise at your sudden show of audacity. Where has this girl been hiding all this time? Or has she always been this way? Then your face morphs into one of shock, and you remain still, waiting for some other pin to drop. Something to distract Aemond so you can mumble some excuse and run away. Aemond observes the minute changes in your expression, like you’re struggling to get your bearings, and he finds it all endearing.
Suddenly, the door you had been leaning against is pried open, making you take a step closer to Aemond. An unruly, blonde mop of hair that can only belong to Aegon pokes itself inside, “What are you nerds doing in the damn library?”, then he turns on his heel letting the door slowly close on its hinges, “Never mind, I’m gonna get a drink!”
At the exact same time, you and Aemond burst out in a fit of laughter, the pure and melodic sound of it echoing throughout the room. The very first time that Aemond witnessed you laughing freely in front of him, and his thoughts would later drift back to this moment. To the way your eyes lit up, how your teeth clamped down on your bottom lip to keep from laughing harder, and how your dainty hand clasped his forearm, holding on to him for a while.
He did not know then, not yet at least, that he had started falling for you.
When your desire had become apparent, you did not attempt to cross a line. Correctly inferring that Aemond valued his solitude, you became content with admiring him from afar, treasuring every small interaction. 
Everyone keeps remarking at how different he is around you, and maybe you do not realize the truth of their claims, because you had never seen him… like this. So broken. His mask of composure torn to shreds.
No longer the caring, attentive, and self-assured Aemond you claimed to desire. 
“Aemond?” Helaena's voice drifts from his door, which is opened narrowly. She silently lets herself inside when he does not respond.
“Care for some dinner?” she asks, her gentle voice almost breaking through Aemond’s resolve. Perhaps it might have been able to, but not anymore.
“No, I’m not hungry.” Aemond answers, barely audible.
“Right.” Helaena doesn’t press further; she knows that nothing will shake her brother while he’s in such a state, so she tries to bring up something else. Something that might get his attention. “So, I, uh… y/n just called me.”
Helaena notices Aemond slightly tense up at the mention of your name. So that’s what it takes, she thinks.
“Aemond,” she steps closer, now standing beside his chair. “Why were you outside the bookstore where she works?”
Aemond shuts his eyes. Of course you had seen him. And he saw you, clear as day. Beautiful as ever. With bloody Jace right next to you, laughing while sharing some coffee he had brought. 
“She misses you, you know,” Helaena says, and the words drive straight through Aemond’s heart. “I really think you just should speak to her.”
“Hmm.”
“What are you even afraid of?”
A long pause, as Helaena waits for a reply. Fidgeting with the edge of her sweater, she begins to say something more, when Aemond finally says, in a muffled, reluctant tone, “She deserves better.”
“Of course she does!” Helaena perches on the edge of Aemond’s desk, and his eye drifts over her for just a second, before looking down at the object again. “So call her and - ”
“Better than me.” Aemond clarifies, croaking the final word as if in pain.
“Oh, Aemond.” Helaena’s lifts an arm in an attempt to offer comfort, but Aemond instinctively flinches.
“No.” He breathes. “I can’t.”
Helaena nods in understanding, though her heart aches at the sight of her brother like this. She looks to the side, and sees the journal-seeming object sitting on his brother’s desk. The thing he seems to be staring at. 
Helaena lets her fingers run over the smooth forest green cover, and she instantly recognizes it to be Valyrian leather. A rare commodity, so this must not be just any ordinary journal.
“May I?” she whispers, to which her brother shrugs in response.
She gently pries open the leather clasp, and she sees a dedication on the first page, in a swooping scrawl that can only be Aemond’s. Some special ink was used, staining the page with a deep shade of maroon. It reads in High Valyrian, their native language - Ñuha prūmia iksis aōhon.
“I meant to give that to her… before…”
My heart is yours.
“Aemond-” Helaena mutters, her mind stuck on the words, and she knows exactly who they are meant for.
Aemond abruptly rises from his seat, and puts on his black coat, “Just put that back where you found it.” Reaching for something else on his desk, he puts it on his face to conceal his deformity.
Before her brother reaches the door, Helaena manages to voice out, “Where are you going?”
“Away.”
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Two weeks before the Dragonstone ball
The accident finally seems to have departed from the mainstream, turning into fodder for small talk as all sensational news pieces do. 
Unsurprisingly, despite the tragic event, excitement abounds. The city is buzzing in anticipation. Everyone is already poring over the main list of attendees which has been made public online. You only glanced at it once to confirm that you are on the list as Jace’s partner, but something else catches your attention. You immediately close the tab in your browser after you read - Aemond Targaryen - and across from his name, as his designated partner - Alys Rivers.
“For fuck’s sake,” you sigh, biting your lip. You opt to open Youtube, but immediately your homepage reminds you of your recent activities. Not stalking, no. Just some curious research. Aemond has never been one to give interviews. That’s more in Aegon’s wheelhouse. Daeron especially, since he also works as a model, gracing the front cover of Vogue thrice already at only 22. 
When Aegon graces the headlines, it’s most likely due to some disorderly conduct at a high-class party or a local dive bar. True to his brand, there is no in-between when it comes to Aegon. It’s either go big or go home. Which usually means he ends up drunk on the sidewalk, having to call Aemond to pick him up and give him a ride without letting their parents know.
But they always find out, of course. It’s hard to be discreet when you’re one of the most recognizable faces in the country.
As for Aemond, you’ve always found it hard to find even a single crumb of him from the internet. Save for a couple of sightings, including those of him and Alys Rivers, and clippings from the few times when he would speak in press conferences on behalf of Dragonstone. But even those were kept mostly private, and not freely available on Youtube. 
As it happens, there have been some rumours of Aemond allegedly coming into blows with the Duke of Lannister and his entourage, after humiliating the man’s sister. Onlookers claimed that they saw the poor girl coming onto Aemond at some party in Pentos, flirting with him. Apparently, he was far from welcoming of her affections. There were some pictures of the fight, or at least, that’s what people say. You were not in the loop when the news spread, sitting through a lecture. Any trace of such pictures quickly vanished from the internet. The Targaryens are always on the lookout to protect their precious image, but they’ve never done anything so methodical when it comes to such occurrences, such as Aegon’s countless mishaps. 
Aemond does have an Instagram profile. You asked him about it once, ages ago, even before your brief - what would you call it… Tryst? Dating period? Well, whatever it was, it’s all done for now.
“Was it your idea to have a profile anyway?” you asked him, after he had playfully teased you about stalking him. That was the only verified account of Aemond’s that you found, complete with the blue tick. His profile was empty, and the following list was at a whopping zero. Though of course, he had about 3.7 million followers, just waiting for the moment that he would choose to do anything on the site.
“Yeah, I suppose.” Aemond looked down and smiled, and you did not know it, but he found himself feeling warm due to the interest you were giving him. He’s confident about nearly everything, but when on the receiving end of attention from the woman he secretly longed for, he felt almost shy. “It was mostly due to the fact that I wanted to have one sole verified account online. I’ve heard talks of impersonators sending people messages and all that. Fucking annoying.”
“Ah, yeah.” You did not tell him, of course, but you knew of those fake accounts, having clicked on several slightly convincing ones to see if they were actually his. But none of them matched. You found yourself muttering, “He would never post that.”
“Didn’t hurt that I got to look through your pictures, too, love.” He smirked then, regaining his confidence. 
You nearly melted into a puddle on the fancy designer-carpeted floors of their apartment, right then and there.
That doesn’t matter now. You sigh, slamming your laptop shut. Instead you choose to dramatically jump onto your bed and growl your frustrations out onto a pillow. 
You roll over, amused at the whole thing. The digital alarm clock Helaena gave you reads 6:32 pm, it’s a Friday night, and you’re left with nothing to do. You’ve already finished the majority of your exams, and for the next month or two, you’re free to go on holiday and do whatever you wish.
But what? You finally decide to give Helaena a call, and reach for your phone on the nightstand. But right then, it lights up. ‘Hel’s Bells’ is calling you. An inside joke the two of you came up with about a week after you met.
“Speak of the devil,” you smile, and press accept. “Hel! I hope you’re just about as bored as I am.”
She laughs on the other end, “I don’t even have time to be bored. Mother has us doing all these preparations for the ball.”
“Do you need any help? I’m no expert at pomp and pageantry but I’ll do my best.” She had just stayed at your apartment a few nights ago for a sleepover, and you noticed that she was careful when mentioning anything about the ball. Trying not to stray into Aemond and Alys territory for your sake, you assumed.
“Sure, come over whenever you want. I don’t really have any idea what it’s all for, but hey, at least we get to put on fancy dresses and look pretty.”
“Oh, you always look pretty,” you say sincerely. 
“Thank you, doll,” she says, before sighing dramatically. “Anyway, I actually called to tell you something. You’re going to come over to our place on Sunday night. We’re throwing a little party.”
“A party, huh.” Will Aemond be there, you wanted to ask, but held back. 
You haven’t seen him for the last three months, after the fateful night of the accident. There was that incident when he parked outside the bookstore, but it was barely anything. 
Word on the street is that the ‘Prince of the city’ had gone into hiding, as comical as that sounds to you. For what exactly? There has been speculation - perhaps he was left horribly disfigured from the accident, which is also why there isn’t any trace of the alleged pictures taken of him in Pentos. But Helaena immediately dissuaded that notion. My brother is not disfigured, she insisted when you brought it up, he’s simply recovering.
If Aemond wants to keep things to himself, then he has the right to do so. He would tell you if he wanted. Call you, send you a message. Anything. 
“A party,” Helaena repeats. “It’ll be for our inner circle. Which includes you, of course. A little prequel to the ball, so everyone can catch up with each other.”
“Aegon’s idea?” you guessed with a wry smile. 
“There might be a direct correlation there, yeah,” Helaena laughs. “Anyway, come over! Since you’re coming with Jace to the ball, then we have to plan everything for you, too! What colour dress do you want to wear? Well, there is a theme but we’ll work with that. Mum assigned a stylist and hairdresser for me, which means they’re for you too and - ”
“Hel, I don’t really need - ”
Then she says something that puts a stop to your protest. “Oh, Aemond won’t know what’ll hit him.”
“Huh.” The thought of seeing Aemond again gives you a surge of excitement. And nervousness. Your yearning for him reawakens, but it never truly left.
Having made her point, Helaena knows she’s got you hook, line and sinker. “I’ll expect you in the next hour.”
-----------------------------
Sunday came rolling over soon enough, and the party at the Targaryen penthouse is well under way.
The ballroom on the 2nd floor is packed, filled with people whom you either don’t know or barely recognize. Of course, it wouldn’t be complete without some snooty heirs and heiresses who would openly regard you with what could be confusion or derision. Until a Targaryen or Velaryon would approach you and eagerly whisk you away in conversation.
“Who is she?” you hear someone say when Jace takes your hand and directs you to sit on the couch with him and Daeron. “Why is Jace so close to her? And what on earth is she wearing?”
Unfazed by it all, and already used to such comments, you smile sweetly in that girl’s direction and greet her with a friendly, “Hi, how are you doing?”, without giving her a chance to respond.
Jace watches the exchange proudly. As you sit down, he says, “Aegon invited her, I think. I don’t really know, I don’t like her much.”
“How come?” you jest. “You two have so much in common. Heirs to the kingdom and all that.” Your sarcasm again comes out of you in waves, trying to temper your nerves. You look around the room, though it is not the first time you’ve scanned through everything. 
“I’d much prefer your company,” Jace easily says, then notices your divided attention. “He isn’t here.”
In a transparent attempt at surprise, you ask,“Who?”
Daeron overhears the exchange, after his friend stands up to get a drink. “Aemond’s not here, y/n. At least I haven’t seen him. Last I heard he was holed up in our holiday estate in Pentos.”
“Oh.” Your face visibly falls. You didn’t know what to expect, really. Of course Aemond would  not just show up at this party after avoiding everyone for too long.
“He will be at the Dragonstone ball though,” Daeron pats your knee in sympathy. “He might be going through some shit, but mum would lynch him if he misses that event.”
Jace and Daeron continue to look at you, seeing if they need to offer more comfort, and you can’t stand it. “Alright, you two. Thanks for… I don’t know… but this is a party! We should just go and have fun. No need to be concerned about me and…” You choke up at his name, negating your false show of indifference. 
“Okay,” Jace says, saving you from saying anything further. “How about I get you a drink, hmm?”
“Yeah,” you say, but something crosses your mind. You stand at the same time as Jace, grabbing his arm, “Actually, I’ll go get some air first.”
“Are you alright?” This time, Jace’s sincere gaze is not enough to distract you from that familiar gnawing ache.
“I am,” you smile placatingly. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”
-----------------------------
Aemond Targaryen, contrary to what everyone in the party believes, is no longer wasting his days in Pentos. 
He had slipped back into the city earlier that night, and in the safety of their 7-floor penthouse. Right in time for the revelry. He has no intention of making an appearance, but when Helaena let it slip that you would be attending, he could not help himself.
The fact that you would be under the same roof was enough to get Aemond to scurry back home. While he might not be ready to show himself just yet, there are methods which allow him to see you. Watch you.
Helaena would probably smack him upside the head, if she found out. That not only had Aemond come back without telling her, but also that he is watching her friend through the CCTV cameras littered throughout the penthouse. 
Perhaps it is unsavoury, and you might cross your arms and huff at him if you found out. Oh, what I would give to see that in person. But he’ll take what he can get. Do what he must. To still have you, still see you. 
His left knuckle is taut, still bandaged and bruised from his recent activities. Luckily, the stitches on his face had not come loose and the medical treatment his mother is putting him through has done considerable wonders. What would you think, I wonder, if you saw me like this, my love.
His laptop is propped up on his desk, right next to the green journal he means to give you. On the screen, he watches as you trail Helaena for a while. As you sit alone, watching everything unfold. As Jace comes for you, and you sit together on a couch. Too close. Too comfortable for Aemond’s liking. Is something going on between you and my fucking Strong nephew? 
When news reached him that you would be coming to the ball with Jace, Aemond had broken something. He can barely remember what it was, just the sound of it shattering against the wall. A wine bottle? A vase? A mirror? Whatever it was sent his company fleeing from their table, and Criston had rushed forward to make sure that he wasn’t harmed.
Aemond glares at the screen you walk after Jace and whisper something close to his ear. 
Jace regards you for a long while. He better not…
But then you nod and smile, stepping away from him. Aemond finds himself breathing a sigh of relief, predictably, and he almost snorts at his own reaction. 
You walk out of the ballroom, and Aemond has to switch between cameras to follow your path. You pause down the hallway, and lean next to the wall.
What are you doing, ñuha jorrāelagon?
Seemingly decided on something, you swing the door to the staircase, forgoing the elevator. The cameras on each landing track you as you continue to climb upward, panting slightly when you finally reach the entrance to the rooftop.
You take slow, sure steps toward the golden railing. For a moment, you just stand there, seemingly watching the city below.
I have to see you. I have to try. In a split decision, Aemond slinkers out of his room, the party below still unaware of his presence. 
Then he heads up the flight of stairs as you had done, feeling more apprehensive with each step. What do I even say to you? Do you still want to see me? He finally reaches the final landing, and heart in his throat, he pries the door open as silently as possible.
You no longer stand at the railing. Instead, he spies you sitting on the plush seat the two of you shared on that one night. Facing away from the entrance, looking up at the stars. 
Aemond knows that isn’t as it was before. He cannot simply approach you and watch as your eyes immediately welcome the sight of him. It’s not the same, and it is all his fault. He wonders if your heart might still race because of him, or will it have become cold, after all this time?
He draws closer, with each footstep uncertain. But your pull is stronger, taking precedence over all of his worries. 
“I miss you,” is all he can bring himself to say, throwing caution to the wind. You freeze at the sound of his voice. 
Then a shiver runs up his spine as it dawns on him - in his haste to see you, he left his eyepatch in his room below.
-----------------------------
I must be dreaming. The hairs along your arms stand in your shock, and you keep both hands flat on the seat to keep you steady. 
Is it… You start to turn back, but cease all movement when Aemond pleads, “Don’t. Please don’t turn around.”
“Aemond?” your voice is shaky, and you feel a tear threaten to escape. “They said… we all thought…”
“They do not know that I am back yet,” he answers. “Just you.”
“Oh.” Your head is still turned to the side, and you have to fight the urge to simply rise from your seat and face him. You exhale, trying to calm down. When that doesn’t work, you lean back against the seat, and force yourself to count the windows on the building down the road. 
6… 7… 8… 
But the sudden feeling of his hands on your shoulders makes you lose all train of thought.
“Did you miss me?” Aemond asks, standing right behind your seat now, his sweater grazing the back of your head.
Your mind is flooded with thoughts of all that happened between the two of you - the beginning, the brief affair, the end. Is it the end? 
Answer him. “Did I miss you?” you bite your lip, and your brows scrunch in frustration. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Your expletive makes Aemond take a step back. “I-I’m sorry…”
“I’ve been so worried about you, Aemond!” Your hands bunch up into fists beside you. You did not realize you had all this pent up anger, with the past few months being spent pining. Longing. Yearning. Like some silly little fool. When he didn’t even make any effort to reach out to you, and the most you got from him was that episode outside the bookstore.
“Oh yeah, and what the hell were you doing outside my place of work?” you stand then, and lean against the railing in front of you, careful not to turn and catch a glimpse of him. “You wanted to speak to me? Well, why didn’t you just do that?” You can feel your erratic heartbeat pounding in your chest, and for a moment you become afraid that it might just stop altogether. 
“I did want to speak to you. To see you.” Aemond sighs heavily. “I always want to see you, my darling. You’re all I’ve ever thought about since - ”
“Yeah, right. I bet you did.” You threw the offhand accusation over your shoulder.
“I did,” Aemond swears. “I miss you every day, I -”
His voice is softer than before, and kind of nervous. Your resolve is at risk of breaking, because… Why does Aemond sound… broken?
He finishes, “I just needed some time.”
There are so many more that you want to ask him - What really happened in that accident? Where have you been all this time? What is going on with you and Alys? Where do we truly stand?
But instead you mutter the one thing you are most certain of, “I miss you too.”
Aemond breathes a sigh of relief. He moves to stand behind you, and steps closer. 
Closer. You don’t dare move a muscle, because you just might turn around and forget about his request. He moves closer, until his chest is pressed against you from behind. Closer, until his hands squeeze both of yours on the railing.
You feel Aemond rest his face on your shoulder, inhaling deeply. At this point, he is practically enveloping you. Each breath he takes warms your neck. His thumbs run over your knuckles, and he says, “Are you still angry at me?”
“Should I be?” You lean your head back to rest on his right shoulder. From the corner of your eye, he looks as he always has. Almost ethereal, with his silver-blonde Targaryen hair and sharp, defined features. 
Aemond moves his head slightly toward the left, careful not to reveal the ruined side to you, when he feels your wandering gaze. 
“Please don’t be angry with me,” he pleads. You hum in affirmation, and in a lower voice, he purrs, “Close your eyes, darling.”
You try to ask why, but then you feel his lips lightly press against the nook between your neck and your shoulders. Your eyes flutter shut on their own goddamn volition.
His mouth parts even more, before coming down once again and nipping at your skin. His arms wrap themselves around your waist, and his hold tightens until your entire body is flush against him.
Still, you haven’t seen all of him. 
Your hand reaches up to touch him, and your fingertips graze the side of his face. When your thumb runs over a bit of what must be raised flesh, like some partially healed lesion, Aemond jumps away. At once, you feel the cool evening air hit you, the warmth of his embrace having gone.
“What is - ” you start to ask.
“It’s nothing.”
“Aemond…” you hesitate. What could possibly be so terrible, he won’t even allow me to look at him? “If anything happened to the way you look… it wouldn’t matter to me. You would still be the same boy that I lo - ” The words hitch in your throat, their sentiment heavier than anything you’ve ever said. 
Everything is at a standstill. Aemond does not say a single word, but you know that he understood what you were trying to say. He must.
And how can I even gauge his reaction when I can’t even look at him?
“Aemond?” 
Much to your surprise, his voice is already farther away when he responds with a hurried, “I’ll see you at the ball.” 
You swiftly turn around in your disbelief. Did he just fucking leave? 
The door to the penthouse shuts behind him, and you are left dumbfounded at his actions. The old Aemond would have never done that to you, but what do you know?
Perhaps my Aemond is truly gone.
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The ball is coming up next!!! Reader may finally learn to let go of Aemond, or at least give him what he wants - a whole lot of space and time.
Also, reminder - Aemond's injury is still pretty fresh, considering the damage. So no, he hasn't stuck a sapphire in there yet. Imagine how little Aemond looked in episode 7, with angry stitches running down his face, but a bit more healed. His eye socket is still sewn shut, and it still causes him much pain, so go easy on our boy, y'all.
taglist still has some spots left! I've managed to continue it in the comments 🖤
and I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this, and what you're hoping to read in the next part!!!
Series taglist: @caught-in-the-afterglow @aemondtargaryensrider @punggo66 @dollfaceyourfear @candypurplebutterfly @moonmaiden1996 @mxrgodsstuff @lolitaisreal @blue-serendipity @melsunshine @thejanecampaign @fxngsfxgxrty @padfooteyes @msmarvel-19 @tempo-rary-fix @lauraneedstochill @julczimozart @sarcasticfangirl @witchyvik @pyjama-shorts @bellaisasleep @zillahvathek @thincrusttheworks @krispold @yougotthatlove @raging-panda @fleetingly-artistic @throughgoeshamilton @polireader @katsav17 @minttea07 @kravitzwhore @meggiemay82 @hedonefox @daenysx @schniiipsel @namoreno @afro-hispwriter @aemondswifeisme @emcharra @malfoytargaryen @iiamthehybrid @fullmetalriotts @kellzlib @justsumtuffstuff @daydreamy-me @yentroucnagol @kezibear @queenofshinigamis @paprikaquinn
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goldustwomun · 26 days
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pacifier (s.b.)
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pairing: sirius black x younger potter! reader
summary: something about your relationship with sirius black had never sit quite right with you, and now that he's back after two years of travelling the world, you're beginning to think that you'll soon find out what'll happens if the two of you finally fall over the edge of whatever precipice you've been teetering close to all these years. plus, you've got to work with him all summer, so what's the worst that could happen?
warnings: allusions to sex (minors dni!!!), swearing, cocky sirius and like kind of an annoying younger sister reader (but also that's literally me lol), bad transitions between light hearted banter and angst but i'm trying my best RIP, i imagine sirius to be mid-20s and reader only 3/4 years younger (but everyone is OF AGE), mommy issues if you squint
wc: 5.4k+
note: soooo i'm back :D again :D i'm almost done with second year and actually somewhat ahead with all my papers (with very minimal finals; def recommend being a history major x) and i've just been missing the community so enjoy this! i had this first chapter posted a while back (like maybe a year) but it was actually ass so i've redone it a little :)))) as always, reblogs and comments are MUCH appreciated and i can't wait to interact w/ y'all over this because i have been DAYDREAMING about brother's bf sirius :')
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“What do you mean he’s working at the shop as well?!” you screeched, chasing your Mother around the kitchen, feeling a lot like the pesky youngest child you were. 
“He needs some help so we offered to give him a job. Honestly sweetheart, aren’t you too old for this childish feud?”
“Too old? Shouldn’t you be saying that to him? He’s like– thirty or something, and still continues to be the bane of my existence. Fucking Bla–”
Your Mother whirled on you abruptly, brandishing the wooden spoon she was about to stir the boiling pot with right in your face. “Language, missy! I would tell him the same thing, but unluckily for you, you’re my daughter and currently living under my roof, so you get to hear it first.” She gave you a saccharine sweet smile, the kind that had you biting back the urge to stomp your feet and pout at her until she gave in. Unfortunately for you, that hadn’t worked since you were about six years old. 
“--now, he’s been gone for such a long time, and we’re all very excited to see him, so don’t ruin this reunion with any more of your tantrums.”
You opened your mouth, intent on not letting the argument die there, but your Father bounded into the kitchen at the same moment, ruffling up your hair with a “Hey there, kiddo,” before promptly moving on to snake his hands around your Mother’s waist. “Looking as beautiful as always, my dear,” he cooed into her ear. She let out an uncharacteristic giggle that had you bolting from the kitchen before you were scarred any further.
Your parents’ tooth-aching affections for each other were just that: sweet, but sickly all the same. Deep down, you knew you yearned for a romance like theirs, something genuine but passionate, able to withstand the test of time (and your ever-dwindling patience). James, your older brother, had found it with Lily, their son Harry being a product of their young but no less intense love. 
And you loved that kid like he was your own. Would beg James to let you come over, play with the babbling toddler for a few hours, would even offer up your weekends, encouraging the young couple to “go out, live a little!”. But they were about as infatuated with their own child as you were, and had a never-ending supply of friends who were equally as eager to help out.
Speaking of, one of those eager friends was currently pounding his stupid fist against your stupid front door, and you were already riled up from the news that you couldn’t take seeing his face physically in front of you, as well. 
You shoved past James, knocking him back a step as his hand reached for the door to let his best mate in. You caught a glimpse of him on the doorstep, the first in almost two years– hair unruly like he’d just rolled out of bed, long, black strands; newly tanned skin blushing under the heat of the sun; those thick, brooding eyebrows that raised up in your direction – eughh. 
“What’s got your knickers in a bunch?” James called at your retreating figure, shouting loud enough to be heard over your heavy footsteps despite the carpeted floor. 
“Ask your best mate over there!” you answered back with a bite, slamming your room door shut.
“Fuck,” he sighed, defeated, yanking his confused friend in and a chucking a thumb towards the stairs. “How’ve you managed to piss her off before you even got here?” he asked incredulously. “Peace– we had peace in this house for the past two years since you’ve been off travelling, and now look–! It’s a bloody riot!”
“Oi– I’ve done nothing,” he moaned indignantly, hanging his coat and scarf on the gold-crested hooks by the door. “--I think,” he added for good measure after a beat.
He never understood why the two of you struggled to get along. You’d grown up together, spent every waking moment in each other’s presence when he was at the Potter residence (which happened to be just about always given his own family situation). In theory, he should be like some sort of older brother figure– someone to loan out advice and shoulders to cry on and all that jazz.
But no. Something about you and your irritatingly know-it-all personality, or shrill voice when indignant (which was rather often around him), or your need to always be right – something about you made it so he just had to tease you endlessly until you were yelling, voice all pitchy, nostrils flared, breath heavy and face blotchy. When things would begin to die down, he’d find something else to point out, argue back, hit the nail on your specific head– something to really push you that little bit over the edge. 
It was a little too fun to not try to get a rise out of you every time you were together. And as much as Sirius was aware that the jabs each of you threw had gotten a little more out of hand and a little less appropriate for your relationship– he just couldn’t stop. 
The rest of the Potter family didn’t share your sentiments about Sirius, and rather adored him immeasurably. Had since he’d taken to hiding out in their house after a particularly brutal fight at home when he was only eleven. Heck, he’d even attended every Potter-family gathering, dinner, birthday, you name it, since then. It was why he came over every Sunday for a roast, pudding and some chat – he could never put into words what your family had done for him, the safety, security, home, even, they'd given him when he’d been lost and entirely clueless of what a real family looked like.
So he made the thirty-minute drive, every Sunday, much to your irritation. He plastered on the biggest smile for your Mum, complimenting every minute detail of the meal she cooked for the family, drank a glass of whiskey and smoked a cigar with your Dad; he was even Harry’s favourite, always humming quiet melodies into the youngest Potter’s ear.
With him travelling the world for the past almost-two-years, he’d missed out on the family time he usually looked forward to every weekend. Mondays seemed a lot less dreadful after having a belly-full of Mrs Potter’s food. Still, he’d sent postcards and printed pictures of everywhere he went, the sights he’d seen, people he’d met. It wasn’t the same, not without the lot of you to pester him (maybe you especially) but he’d needed some time to find himself.
He still wasn’t sure if he’d found what he was looking for, but the money had to have run out eventually so he was back home, ready to work and settle down in his life for once after graduating Hogwarts. 
Sirius followed James into the living room where he found Lily, sipping on a glass of red, sitting by the empty fireplace. Instead, a window had been cracked in to let the temperate wind in.
She perked up as they entered, waving with that soul-wrenching smile of hers that could persuade even the most strong-willed of men into submission. 
“Pads, you’re back!” she called from her seat. "And you've grown a moustache-- interesting choice of facial hair." Sirius, however, raised an eyebrow at her questioningly, ignoring her greeting-slash-judgement as he peered into the empty crib by her side, even going as far as to search under it as if the toddler might have escaped.
“Harry’s gone to bed in the guest room. There was a bit of a shouting match before you arrived,” James explained, sinking into the space beside his wife and pulling her into his side. “Actually, now that I think about it, there was a lot of shouting after you arrived as well!” 
Lily snorted, snuggling into her husband without hesitation, and Sirius couldn’t help but avert his eyes, feeling entirely like he was imposing on an intimate moment as the two of them whispered in the other’s ear.
“Well, don’t mind me. Sitting here, all by my lonesome, no company or polite chatter to partake in, not even my dashing god son to entertain me” he sighed, dramatically, to no one in particular. James rolled his eyes at his best friend’s antics, chucking a frilly throw-pillow at his face (that’s what they’re for, right?) which he just as easily caught. 
“Har-Har! Ever the clown, Paddy,” James mocked, flipping him off just in time for his Mum to walk in and see.
“James! Don’t aim such crude displays at my son,” she scolded, wrapping her wrinkled arms around Sirius’ shoulders from behind his chair. She leaned down, kissing the top of his head affectionately. Sirius only whimpered in agreement, leaning into her motherly touch and whining on and on about how James was being a right bully. 
“My sweet child, I’ve missed you!” She beamed down at him, and that longing Sirius sometimes felt for his own Mother’s approval, her devotion or fondness, it lessened. 
“But you didn’t– He was just!-- You missed– arghh!” James groaned defeatedly, head flailed back to rest against the sofa, receiving no sympathies from his giggling wife and glaring Mother. “I’m starting to understand why she hates you.”
Sirius’ eyes flashed at that– did you really hate him? Had it gotten to that point?
At the mention of your name but current absence, Mrs Potter ordered, “Go call your sister for dinner, I’ve set the table.” 
He began to protest, failing to come up with a half-decent reason why he can’t walk up the two flights of stairs and pull your petulant frame from your bed– but Sirius interrupted in time, before James could make any more of a fool himself in front of his own Mother. “I’ll go get her. Got to figure out what I did this time,” he offered coolly. 
Euphemia, that is, Mrs Potter, had a strict no-apparting rule in her house, had lost too many expensive vases from James and Sirius’ apparition-sprees the second they’d turned seventeen. You already had your licence, having been of legal age for some time, and had, since graduating (top of the class, as you tended to point out, much to your Ravenclaw friends’ dismay) from Hogwarts, found a job at a school in the muggle world, teaching children English Literature in preparation of some exam. O Levels, you’d called them. 
Sirius thought it to be some sort of torture device - these O Levels – but you’d smacked him across the head in admonishment with the book in your hand – you were always carrying one, though he designated them to be a weapon, at least when in your possession – before he could say much else. Having a family-run bookshop made it so that the books, or the weapons, really, were in endless supply for you, much to Sirius’ chagrin.
Your love for reading had come from him, your Father, from when he’d stay up till the late hours of the night, hushed whispers under your bed sheet so your Mother wouldn’t hear, as he read you the Classics in animated voices that had you completely enchanted. He made sparks fly from the tip of his wand, bright colours that your little eyes couldn’t quite get enough of.
You loved being a wizard, were eternally grateful for the world you lived in and the undeniable awe of it all. But words, books, literature – they were enough magic for you, took you to places you could only ever dream to visit, and had you feeling such all-consuming emotions that sometimes, you wondered if you’d ever make it to the end of the page, or chapter, or book. 
“Oi– your Mum’s put out dinner, she’s calling you downstairs,” he called through the thick wood of your door. 
Sirius didn’t know why he was nervous. It was you, the little girl he’d watched grow up and had grown up with. But if the short glance he’d gotten of your stomping person as you huffed up the stairs was any indicated, you were by no means little anymore. 
Funny what a few years can do to a person, huh. 
He nudged it open when you didn’t respond, only to find you slumped across your bed, glaring, silently, at the ceiling and the pale-orange light emanating from the lamp on your bedside table.
You certainly looked different– older, possibly? He couldn’t quite place what had changed, only that he knew something had. In the way you dressed, styled your hair, held yourself. Even the look of your room– no longer plastered in butterflies and pink roses, but instead painted a burnt umber and with tapestries and muggle band posters hanging across every wall. A stack of vinyls were shoved into one side of your room, along with piles and piles of books, some old and missing a few pages, while others were untouched. 
You heard the door click open, sitting up on your elbows to see a smirking Sirius, oozing an annoying amount of confidence, and leaning against your doorframe. 
Something in your chest stumbled almost immediately. He looked the same, behaved the same as well. Still the Sirius that had left to see the world, leaving the rest of you behind. Though, he might’ve managed to actually tan, now that you really looked at him, imagining the broad planes of his shoulders, hidden by a thin linen button up, were more sun-kissed than milky-pale now. 
Except you refused to even entertain the thought. You were not thinking of him or his skin or his bare chest or--
“What’s with the face?” you asked, already knowing you’ll regret the answer.
“Was that meant to be a greeting?” His eyebrow raised in amusement.
“Hi Sirius-- what’s with the face?” you answered, again, between clenched teeth. 
“Nice pair of panties you got on there, bright pink, are they?” he nodded at your thighs, only just clocking that maybe having your legs spread so far apart when you’re wearing a skirt wasn’t the best idea.
Your thighs snapped shut just as Sirius was snickering behind his fist. “So, dinner?” he asked again, stepping into your room and letting the door shut behind him.
“Go to hell.”
“See, that sounds a little inconvenient, and a lot hot– humidity isn’t great for the hair, or skin. Anyway, I’ve just been around the world and found no place called Hell so not sure what to say, little Potter.” You hadn’t missed his sarcastic rambles, even though you were already struggling to hide the smile taking over your face as you looked anywhere but at him. “I tried, I really did, just for you.”
Your stomach dipped at that, a wave pulling you under-- for you. 
“Buuuut– you know what I absolutely adore? Your mother’s cooking, and I haven’t had it in a while, so up ya’ get,” he insisted, tugging you up by your forearms until you were pressed against his front, not a sliver of space between the two of you. 
Your breath caught in your throat. You could feel him everywhere. Hot skin against your bare arms, the itchy wool of his jumper, if you concentrated a little more, the hard expanse of his chest against yours. He must have felt it too because he released you like you were fire and he a mere mortal, brows pinching in confusion and something else, looking at you like you were a question he couldn’t quite find the answer to. 
It was entirely foreign, the heat gathering in the pit of your stomach– it surely hadn’t been there before he’d left. You looked, or gawked, more like, at the very man you detested with every ounce of your being, but also the very man you were about to spend almost every hour of every day, for the rest of the Summer, with.
“Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, as if realising the same thing as you now that you were stood in front of him. Suddenly, he understood what the whole shouting match must have been about, and up until a few moments ago, he might have disagreed with you entirely.
Now, though? He wasn’t sure what he felt.
“Ditto,” you breathed back. You pushed past him after staring for a second too long, hurrying on socked feet to the dining room downstairs, and not bothering to check if he was following. 
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The quiet jingle of the bell tickled your ears as you opened the door to the bookshop, dust immediately invading your senses as you fought back a harsh cough. Your Dad pushed in front of you, forcing the door to stay open by propping a stack of intimidatingly large books in front of it. You laughed silently to yourself, noting how they were all Dickens (he hated Dickens, said his novels were disturbingly boring and unnecessarily detailed). 
You could only agree, never having had the courage to pick up any of those enormous beasts yourself. 
“So, you can dust a little, and sweep the floor, before we open. Count the money in the till, as well, that’s very important,” he noted off, and you suddenly wish you had a pen and a pad of paper to write it all down. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been helping out at the shop since when you were younger, but this was the first time you’d been granted the responsibility of having it all to yourself (minus the inconvenience that was Sirius Black). 
You were an adult now (barely, but that was a technicality)– loved to point it out any chance you got, and it meant that your Dad trusted you enough to not hover over your shoulder every time you took a shift. He was working fewer hours, though now, none, as he wanted to finish the novel he’d been writing for the past decade after melodramatically announcing at the dinner table that “It’s time!” 
You weren’t sure what that exactly meant, but you weren’t about to argue with the man paying you an overly generous ten pounds an hour. 
You didn’t need the money for yourself, what with still living at your parent’s house, but you wanted to contribute to the house and expenses and what no, even if it was a minuscule sum. 
“Another thing,” he added, stopping, rather abruptly, in front of you, voice worryingly grave as he placed his large palms over either of your shoulders. “Please,” he begged, brows dipping, “don’t fight with Sirius in front of the customers.”
“I haven’t even done anything and you’re already after me,” you objected, pulling back from his usually comforting hold and pulling the broom out from behind the counter. His hands fell defeatedly against his sides as he sighed, standing in your way before you could mope yourself into a tizzy before the work day had even started. 
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he ensured, pulling you in for a tight embrace. “You know you’re my number one, sweetheart. Just don’t like seeing you so upset.”
James always teased you for being your Father’s favourite, and you’d never argue, relishing in his pointed fingers and sneering words, because it was true– there was something between you and your Father, an understanding that no one else had clued in on. He eased your worries like no one else could, smoothed irked creases across your face, replacing them with belly-hurting laughter lines and a grin so wide, you were worried it would fall off your face.
Anyway, James was the same with your Mum. You found her difficult to communicate with, what with her being as hot-heated as you were, so as much as you and your Dad got along, you butted heads with your Mum just as much. “It’s ‘cause you two are so similar, like twins, I tell you!” But it did little to calm your nerves around her, or stoke the flames of anger you so often felt. 
You were about to respond, ready to tell your Dad just how much you loved him, when someone crashed through the door, slamming into the counter you were standing behind. You turned, eyes connecting with your (late) colleague. He looked utterly windswept, as if he’d run – or been chased – the whole way there. 
“You okay, son?” your Dad asked, worry shifting from you to the panting, bent-over Sirius. 
“Me? Oh– peachy, just– peachy,” he answered between heavy breaths, waving off his doting hands. “Sorry I’m late, got a little carried away with something and lost track of time.”
You were conscious of how your Dad didn’t offer Sirius the same advice, to not pick a fight or argue or whatever it was the two of you did, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at how he had everyone charmed. So you busied yourself behind the till, doing as you were instructed and counting the money, writing down the number of each of the bills on a notepad you pulled from the drawer at your waist. 
Your Dad left soon after, turning the closed sign out front to open as he wished you, and Sirius, good luck. 
“Guess it’s just the two of us, little Potter,” Sirius pointed out, already sounding bored as he fell into a stool at your side. He leaned his head against his arm, stretching it from side to side as he groaned at his tense muscles.
You didn’t mean to stare, swore it wasn’t something you’d let become a habit, but your gaze immediately travelled to the exposed skin of his neck, zeroing in on the trail of newly-formed purple bruises  down the side. You snorted, shaking your head at him, slamming the money compartment shut a little too aggressively so that it caught Sirius’ attention. He recognised your expression to be something close to amusement, jabbing you in your side until you were scowling and slapping his fingers away.
“What’s wrong with you– you’re acting like a fucking child,” you admonished, moving out of reach and resting a hand on your hip. 
“Why’d you make that face?” he asked instead of answering your question, nodding at you like it was you who had started it.
“It’s nothing,” you went with, hearing your Father’s words echoing in your mind from just moments ago. You needed to diffuse the situation before you really got mad, because past that point, you weren’t responsible for what you said– or did. 
So you ventured into the aisles of books, a curious Sirius on your heels, following you like a lost, yapping puppy. “If it’s nothing then why are you running away?” he pushed back.
You ignored him pointedly, stopping to stack a few books and dust along the shelves. No one had come in yet, still too early in the morning for any tourists to stumble upon your admittedly quaint but bursting shop. 
The sunlight barely filtered past the dense collection of books and mahogany shelves that lined the walls, but the windows stretched to the tall ceilings, and if you went up the spiralling staircase at the centre of the store, you’d find yourself in a cosy loft space, bathed in gold and stuffed with arm chairs and sofas for people to sit and read in. 
It was your favourite part of the store, and you were seriously debating hiding up there on your first day, just to get away from the walking-plague that followed you. 
“Come on– tell me,” he whined, standing too close for your liking. You side-stepped away, brushing a cloth against the worn covers of the Mystery section. He followed suit, returning to his previous position, and this time, you had no way out with the wall of books you’d met. 
You turned, facing him and finally acknowledged his presence. “You lied,” you stated matter-of-factly, loving that you actually had the upper-hand with him. As much as you prided yourself with being quick-witted, Sirius always seemed to find a way to stay on-top.
“Gonna have to give me something more than that, darling. Lied about what?” he countered, raising an eyebrow at you. 
It took everything in you to ignore the pet name, something more endearing hidden under it that you had never noticed before, and those pesky butterflies returned to bug about in your gut. 
Fucking moths, you groaned internally. 
“You said you were busy and lost track of time. But those bites across your neck say otherwise,” you stared pointedly at the affected area now, though it was covered by his hair in this position. His hand flew to his neck, as if only just realising they were on display.
“That’s none of your business Potter,” he countered, now irritated and still trying to hide the hickies on his neck with only his palm. 
“It actually is my business when you’re both late to your job and lying to my Father,” you threw back, shoving forward and relishing in his slight stumble back– as if he hadn’t yet noticed the two of you were so so close. 
“You can’t–” his eyes were wide, worried, as he grabbed your elbow, forcing you to meet his gaze, “You can’t tell him. He’ll be so disappointed and I can’t–”
Now it was your turn to frown over the devastation so wrought over his face. And if you two were anyone else, you might’ve let it go. Might’ve– 
“Well tough shit, Black. You’re an adult, now. This is the real world we’re talking about. Not whatever fantasy you’ve been away in for the past two years. And here, in the real world–” you gestured around yourself, “--actions have consequences. You slutting it up on the night before your first day at your new job isn’t much of an excuse, now is it?”
And really, you deserved it, now that you thought back. His anger was reasonable and your need to poke straight through his ribcage, wrap your fist around his heart and squeeze tight, was not. 
“Oh, fuck you, Potter!” he bit out. “You’re accusing me of not acting like an adult when you literally still live at home! Not to mention you can’t have a decent conversation with anyone without throwing the most childish temper tantrum known to man. I might be slutting it up, as you’ve put it, but at least I’m getting some,” he was breathing hard now, and the more he spoke the more the anger burned away, but his words wouldn’t stop. In fact, you think you could see him cringe, in pain or guilt or some nervous tick, as he delivered the final blow. 
“Maybe if you weren’t so miserable to be around all the time, someone might actually give it to you too.”
It didn’t take long for you to react. Nor did it take long for your hand to fly up and connect with his cheek, hard and final. He wasn’t even surprised, had seen it coming a mile way, maybe even from his first “fuck you”. Because he knew he deserved it and he remembered now why he had left two years ago. Sure, it wasn’t all you. There’d been others who had irked him to the point of wanting a fresh start. And even then, it wasn’t that you were one of those people– you just would get him so riled up, to the point where he could no longer trust the words coming out of his mouth. 
“I’m sorry,” he whispered then, fighting the urge to look away from your glassy stare. “I’m sorry, Potter. You know I don’t mean it.”
And deep down inside, you did know. You knew you both brought out the worst in each other. Only, you could never figure out why that was. Why you wanted to hurl insults and slap him silly for every comment or look or stupid way he’d string together the most perfect sentence and his irritating eyes and mouth and–
“Excuse me? Is anyone here?” 
You inhaled, all sudden, as if only just realising what you had done (or what you had thought). You brushed past him without a word, needing, more than ever, to put some space between the two of you. If not for your anger then for whatever pesky emotion was seeping through your cracks.
You were (reluctantly) pulled from wherever your thoughts had been racing to as you called into the store, “Just one moment!”
You didn’t see it, not then – too focused on keeping one foot in front of the other as you made your way back, escaping to the front of the shop, faking a polite smile as you greeted the awaiting customer– but Sirius collapsed, defeated, into the wall the moment you walked away. 
Something was telling him that if he hadn’t just torn your heart to shreds with a string of insults then he might have done it some other way– some other way that might have left him in trouble with James, Lily and your parents for an entirely different set of reasons. 
‘Cause Jesus Christ– he wanted to be the one to give you what you needed. Or rather, he needed to, desperately. And two years away hadn’t altered the line between the two of you from enemies to something more. 
And Sirius truly debated if this was the moment for him to get back onto a train to anywhere you were not. It didn’t matter if he had no money or nowhere to be, but if it meant he could avoid killing you with words or kissing your face off– he couldn’t quite see a way out of his predicament. 
James would kill him. As would your parents. And Lily– God, you prayed Lily never found out. She’d serve his head up on a platter and laugh while she did it. She was awfully protective of you, always on your side when you bickered with him. If anything, you loved her even more for it, having always noticed how you frowned a little deeper, detached a little more from yourself, whenever your parents favoured him in an argument.
“Sirius!” you shouted again, no longer faking your emotions but rather genuinely just exasperated by him once more. 
“I’m coming! I’m coming!” He managed to not get lost in the labyrinth of books, and found you by the travel section, chatting good-naturedly with a blonde in a tight dress.
“How can I help, doll?” he asked the blonde in question. His one tactic for almost every conundrum he’d ended up in was avoidance. And bloody hell was he good at it. 
He smiled at her, the customer, doing little to hide his admiration for the legs she had on display. She flushed a pretty pink, averting her gaze, lip between her teeth. Bingo! 
“Christ, you’re disgusting,” you muttered, mouth pouting and quiet enough that only he could hear.
“Only for you, sweetheart, only for you,” he bit back, not wanting the currently oblivious customer clue in on their conversation. “So, how can I help?”
“She needs that book–” you pointed to the top shelf, well out of reach. “--the green spine that says Amsterdam, but I can’t reach it and the step ladder is too heavy.”
“Alas! Only ever needed for my body, it seems,” he moaned with an irritating amount of flourish. 
“Whatever it takes to get the book down– do what you must, Black.” You patted his chest reassuringly, taking your spot, once again, behind the cash register.  
“So– planning a trip are you?” Sirius asked in between excessive displays of strength as he hauled the bulky ladder with a single hand. You glared at the girl as she swooned at him, wanting, rather unreasonably, for her to combust right where she stood.
But that was a ridiculous thought to begin with. You could barely stand to be even within a metre’s distance of the guy, let alone on the receiving end of his affections. You were tired, emotional and dehydrated. Must be. Though a glance at the clock had you realising it had barely been an hour since your day had started. 
So, maybe just emotional and dehydrated. 
“I’m going to get a coffee from across the street,” you announced, slugging your tote bag onto your shoulder as you walked past the preoccupied pair. Not waiting for a response, you stepped out into the early morning sun, frowning, for once, at the glare in your eyes and not the irritant you’d left behind. 
It was easier to refer to him as something pesky, infectious, fungus-like even, rather than the only person who knew how to break your heart (and despite your somewhat impenetrable facade, you let him do just that every time).
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please please PLEASE reblog & leave some feedback <3 i'll boop you if you do x
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crrepiest · 4 months
Text
Yandere! Teacher x Reader
♡Yan!Teacher x GN Reader♡
Pt 2
Tw: age-gap, slight nsfw, pervy behavior, stalking, obsessive behavior
Make sure to check out Pt 1!
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I gaze out onto the school courtyard from my classroom window as students scramble to get to their next class period. Red and orange leaves fall silently to the ground and collect in piles amongst the feet of the students. Some of them in a hurry while others take their time. You, being one of the punctual students.
At this point, it was routine.
Watching you as you hurry past the rest of the student body to get to your 4th period class early. My class. I like to think its because you're so eager to see me. As eager as I am to see you.
I sit in my chair, arms crossed, keeping a watchful eye until you were completely out of sight. I relax my shoulders and let them fall as a sigh escapes my lips.
I never feel at ease anymore. Time slows, minutes turn into hours until I was in your presence. Until I could smell your perfume/ cologne when you swept past my desk to take a seat. Just so I could hear your sweet voice say my name when you greeted me "Good morning Mr. Roth".
You were always so sweet to me. Showing up to my class early, asking if I need help around the classroom, always turning in your homework on time if not way before the due date. Always such a good little student, almost as if you're trying to impress me. Sometimes I cant tell if this is real or not.
Days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months and my thoughts turn ever increasingly centric of you
I find myself over thinking. Anxiety filled thoughts that leave me tossing and turning in my big empty bed, only to wish you were there with me, to sooth me.
What if you didn't reciprocate my feelings? How would you react when I inevitably opened my heart to you. Would you be repulsed by me? These thoughts fill my head, stretching the nights thin.
On especially bad nights, I've gotten into a habit of taking sleep medication. No method of self soothing could ease my mind.
Which led me here, too much sleep in my system from popping a pill at 6:30 pm since I couldn't rid the burning image of your face from my mind.
As I was lost in thought staring at my desk, light foot steps sounded from the hallway, headed toward my room. My eyes snap to the door in hopes that is was you.
You enter the class room with a smile already plastered on your face. My heart starts to beat faster at the sight. I send you a quick smile back as you begin to greet me.
"Hi Mr. Roth! How has your morning been so far?"
God. If only you knew.
If it were even possible, my cheeks start to burn harder as I listen to my name slide out of your mouth so elegantly.
"My morning just got better Mx (y/ I/n)." I smirk at you.
"Oh stop it" you giggled as you walked to your desk to take a seat.
And just like that, all the worry washed away from my body.
"How was your night last night (y/n)" I try to keep the conversation flowing for as long as I could.
I tried to pay attention to you. I really did. Every word that poured out of your mouth was like a symphony. It's just as my gaze wondered from your eyes, down to you moving lips, i couldn't help myself.
I couldn't help but imagine how those delicate lips would feel around me. How those innocent eyes would look as they were all glossed over with tears as a pout sat perfectly on your face. All for me to ruin.
I nodded my head and let out affirmative words to not raise anysuspicions from you that I wasn't paying full attention.
I was pulled from my thoughts as I heard chatter amongst students in my classroom. I sucked in a sharp breath and hesitantly removed my eyes from you. Sometimes when I'm with you, it feels as if the the whole world fades away. As if I'm not stuck in my career as an English teacher, having to teach a class full of students who I couldn't care less about.
I wish it were just the two of us. A fantasy that I catch myself day dreaming about frequently. To have you secluded from society and the only source of outside information being me. To have you completely dependent on me. I wouldn't have to deal with sharing you with other people, or get distracted from you.
The dismissal bell rang and everyone rose from their seats and made their way to the door. You gathered your notebooks and pencil and shoved them into your backpack.
You and I made eye contact. It was only brief but it felt like a life time to me. Naturally, I was already staring at you to begin with. You seemed to notice this.
"See you tomorrow Mx. (Y/I/n)" | said softly.
You gave a beaming smile that I swear made my heart skip a few beats.
I never let my eyes leave your form until you were out of view. I propped my head up with my hand on my desk and breathed out raspy a sigh. I stared at my computer as my mind raced with the thought of you.
Then a horrible thought came to mind.
I hurriedly opened my browser and clicked open a new tab. A smirk started to tug at my lips as I navigated through the teacher access center. Why haven't I thought of doing this before?
I typed in your name and found your school profile. Everything I could have ever needed lay right at my fingertips. I smile deviously at the glowing screen of the laptop. I pull out a sticky note and a pen and jotted down the information I needed.
The day dragged on for what seemed like ages. Then, the final bell rang. I gathered my things and headed out to my car, eager to get home to set my plan in motion.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
The car engine quiets down as the car comes to a complete stop.
I turned the key in the ignition to shut off the humming engine. The lights in the vehicle start to fade out as I'm left in the dark, alone with my thoughts.
Anxiety and excitement ran rampant through my veins. My fists curled tightly around the steering wheel as I took a deep breath. I can't believe I was actually going through with this.
I quietly closed the car door as I stepped out. The cold air snipped at my face, making me wince. I shoved my hands into my jacket pocket as I made my way to looming house in front of me.
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AHHH thank you all so much for all the love on my first post it means a lot!!
Also, face claim for Mr. Roth: Jeffery Dean Morgan my beloved
Please feel free to give me constructive criticism on my writing so I can further improve in the future :3
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dinasfavslut · 7 months
Text
LoserEllie x Fem!reader
a/n: This fic was supposed to come out in late August or early September, so I am a month late, and I'm sorry. I hope you enjoy it since I've spent a while on this (I started writing and never finished).
Warnings:smut 18+ Minors just dont interact, Smoking, Sexual thoughts, Cussing, Pet names, Teasing, Oral, Fingering, Slight mention of strap, Squirting
Everyone is aware that Ellie smokes; we have all seen it. Of course, there are also the dealer Ellie fics, which I absolutely love, but just picture Ellie making reader squirt for the first time while high!
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Ellie calls you over for the "usual" hangout of smoking, fighting while playing the latest video game she purchased, exchanging lust-filled glances at each other, and taking turns going to the restroom to deal with your neediness so you don't pounce on one another. The typical predicament continues.
"Okay, how about a crash bandicoot?”
She places the joint between her soft pink lips and says, "I mean, it's whatever." Her fingers, god, her fingers, her hands, and how she flexes them after spending long hours writing or drawing, playing the guitar, rolling blunts and joints—you could go on and on...and on—is almost down to her fingers when she takes another drag.
You two have long been "friends." Everyone in town knows that you and Ellie are more than "just friends", but as far as the relationship goes, it isn't dating or just a friendship, and that kills you. You like Ellie; you really like her, and smoking enhances that feeling toward her. Additionally, it also helps to want to get pounded by her right on the couch.
She had already loaded the game and begun playing while you were still deep in thought. She was so engrossed in her game that you could see her thumbs and fingers pressing and moving the various buttons. "I'm going to get a snack, Els. You want something." She gave a brief glance over, not straining her head from facing the TV. Her gaze seemed to remain fixed on your body as you stood up, pressing your thighs together as you did so.
"Yeah..." You entered the kitchen in search of a bite to quell your hunger. You discovered cookies, popcorn, Cheezits, and wet wipes after searching the cabinets. Why were wet wipes kept in the snack cabinet?
“Ellie?” You gave her a concerned-confused look as she held up the wipes.
“What?” She looked at you, and you just waved around the wipes.
"Uh, well, keep the ants away.”
“Where the fuck did you hear that?”
“I read it or something somewhere... But that isn't a snack, bubs.” Obviously, the wet wipes weren't a snack. You walk over to her and straddle her lap.
"I'm not going to make you eat the wet wipes." Your thoughts had returned to what had just been said a few moments prior: "Wait, Ellie Williams, do you have ants!?" She gave you a dumbfounded look like a middle school boy who had just been scolded. "You have ants when you were about to let us eat food from your cupboard?"
"Calm down, baby. The wet wipes carried out their duties."
"And how do you know that?"
"I didnt hear any screaming that you saw an ant," she said. She shifted into a new position, pushing her hips a up little higher. You noticed this bump or something rigid. None of those properly expresses what you felt. The bulge in her pants was pressing directly on your clit while you were seated on Ellie's lap. You were soaked through, which was unfortunate for you. You were wet before, of course, but now it was leaking through.
Ellie picked you up and set you down next to her, but she quickly noticed the mess you had made beneath yourself. "You, um, do you need any help with..." you nodded quickly in order to get to you something you have been waiting ages for while also stopping her from finishing her sentence she laid you down in front of her, lifted up your skirt to let it rest on your torso, and pulled off the green underwear you had chosen to wear that day, which of course would need to be washed. "Just relax for me; it is okay, I’l make it feel good, promise". You trusted her i mean why wouldnt you- your trusted ellie with yourself at least, so when she kept kissing the inside of your thighs, you didn't question, but you did whine.
“Els please” 
"Right, I'm sorry." She gave you her silly little smile before returning to her task at hand. Her lips were almost immediately attached to your clit. You whimpered and gasped loudly from her movements. The effects of the weed haven't faded quite yet, making all of Ellie's movements feel 10 times better, but let's be real, it's Ellie fucking Williams, and you've been wainting for this forever.
“E-el-” She slid her agile, calloused fingers into your cunt, causing you to let out an exasperated gasp, followed by a loud moan. You tilted your head forward to see her face. Her eyes were stuck to the way you just kept dripping and how her fingers were being swallowed up so easily.
“Ive got you, babe. Lay back for me. Can you do that for me, pretty girl?" Responding to her request, you nod and lay down. The pace of her fingers quickens, and she hits a spot that makes your head feel light and your tummy coil.
 "Els, please." Ellies, ignoring your pleads, having lust take over. Completely, you feel yourself about to let go at any minute, any second, but it's not like all the times you've fingered yourself to the thought of her before. Ellie's mouth on your clit,  her fingers thrusting out of you, you moan louder than you even knew your voice could handle. She continued quickening her pace until she drained everything out of you. You “came” all over her hands, face, and couch. She pulled her head back and paused for a moment. “I-I am so sorry, I didn't mean.”
She places her finger over your mouth to hush your apologies. "It's alright, angel; I know you couldn't help it.” You were embarrassed by your actions, but somehow, even though she had a big mess that she had to clean up, her reassuring words made everything fine. She leans right over you and places a kiss on your lips. “I think I'm in love with you. Actually, I know that I'm in love with you. I love you, bubs.”
"I love you too Els."
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Note
PLEASE do what Scots actually say I’m so curious
Soap x Reader Scottish Dialogue Inspo
To celebrate Burns Night, here are some realistic smutty Scottish terms and some general stuff to do with relationships. Feel free to use this if you find it helpful 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
Disclaimer: my tiny country is made up of countless accents and Soap is canonically from Kilmarnock but his voice actor is from Elgin so who TF knows what he’d actually say.
I also don’t think you need to write in Scots either - I’m Scottish and I don’t (unless am absolutely ragin aboot somethin’) but I can see why you’d want to for Soap’s dialogue. 
Behave yersel’
This is easy - it’s just ‘behave yourself’ but it can be used as a smutty admonishment.
“I’ll sleep on the couch - you take the bed.”
“Behave yersel’,” says Soap, unfastening his belt.
Bonny / Bonnie
Spell it whichever way you like. This is primarily an adjective but I see it used as a noun in fic. All. The. Time. It was used a long time ago as a noun - and maybe it still is further north - but where I / Soap are from it's really only used as an adjective these days.
“What do you think of the new recruit, Captain?”
“Aye, she’s bonny, awryt.”
But use this sparingly - and only to describe a person as a whole and not individual body parts. (e.g. you wouldn’t say “Your tits are so bonny.”) 
Darlin’ / Doll
The two most common pet names I hear from men here. It is ROUGH as anything and makes me melt. Ughhhh. 🥵
“D’ye like whit ye see, doll?”
Fuckin’ hell
An exclamation that’s pretty ubiquitous across the UK. Soap would 100% say this after sex or if he was surprised by something that made him horny. From clips of Soap I’ve seen I know he says “Steamin’ hell” too but I’ve never heard this IRL.
You sit in Soap’s office, perched on his desk wearing your new lingerie.
He opens the door and freezes, jaw on the floor.
“… Fuckin’ hell.”
Gads 
This is a very specific Kilmarnock / Ayrshire thing (which is where Soap’s file says he’s from). And it comes from a very old-timey phrase ‘egads!’ which is hilarious to me.
Gads can be used as an exclamation for something shocking (OR something cringe depending on the context).
“You honestly think that I snuck into your room because my bed was uncomfortable? I want you to fuck me, Soap.”
He swallows. “... Gads.” 
Gantin’ for it
AKA Gagging for it. Juvenile way to describe being horny. Soap would probably say this about himself in a jokey way. 
“You alright, Soap?”
“Aye, aye. I’ve just been gantin’ for it ever since that new lassie joined.”
Lassie / Lass
Girl. Younger. (Pop off age difference fics)
Missus
Literally “Mrs” but surprisingly not just used to refer to your wife. Really commonly used to refer to a girlfriend.
“Look, whatever the missus wants she gets. Awryt?”
Wee (insert expletive)
Literally call me whatever you want as long as you put ‘wee’ in front of it. Wee bitch, wee slag, wee slut (omggggggg). 
Soap tuts, as you writhe against his thigh. “Yer an impatient wee thing, aren’t ye?”
Anyway, that's all I've got for now- if I think of any more, I'll add to this. You don't need to credit me if you actually use this - I like to think of it as service to my country 🫡
P.S. This made me realise I've only ever had sex with Scottish people so maybe some of this is just normal sex stuff and not Scotland specific???? HAHAHAHA
P.P.S. I was getting really into the dialogue so I've written a short fic about Reader x Soap.
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zoe-oneesama · 1 year
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On a serious note, why do you not like Derision? I mean, I can guess why, but I’m genuinely curious to hear your thoughts (if you want to).
What have they done to my boy?!
I guess we'll start with the whole "trauma" thing since that's how the episode starts - with Marinette going on a date with Adrien at the pool but constantly getting heart palpitations at the very idea of it. And not good lovey-dovey crush ones like Sabine thinks. The Actual Panic Attack kind.
This just feels unnecessary AND too late. Unnecessary because there are plenty of pre-established reasons why Marinette could be hesitant to go all in with Adrien (Being Ladybug, the 354th other times going for Adrien has failed or left her humiliated, Being Ladybug). So I don't know why they invented a trauma for her in the final hour and didn't think it was worth talking about before now?
They really came up with this whole scheme to explain why Marinette does Marinette things, like learning Adrien's schedule, planning out everything before she tries to make a move, needing to know everything about him, as if the show hasn't been mocking her for these exact traits and allowing them to blow up in her face over and over again. But NOW it's due to her TRAUMA. So...retroactively when her friends laughed at her or slapped their foreheads in frustration or the show framed her failures as a joke...we know it's actually from a tragic place and can't laugh anymore.
I mean, I was never laughing, but you get what I mean. They framed it like it was part of the comedy and now they're pulling the rug out from under themselves. How are you supposed to laugh when Adrien brings Marinette constipation medicine, or when her pictures of him are blasted all over Paris Television, or the *ugh* Statue Scene plays out and now you know that this is just adding to her pre-existing trauma? They have shot the show's rewatch value.
I never thought Marinette needed a "reason" act the way she was because those were always just kinda The Things Teenage Girls Do when they have a crush. I've admitted in the past to learning my crush's class schedule just to orchestrate running into each other in the hallways more often, and if their crush had public interviews and magazine pictures, I'm pretty sure most kids would also cut out their pictures to keep and would read and remember the interviews. I never really saw her behavior as that weird for a girl her age with a crush and recognize some cartoon exaggeration.
...Stealing his phone was a little weird, though, I'll give them that though Alya is the one who suggested it first...
SO, we enter a long flashback to One Year Ago (with Marinette now on her third Almost-Akumatization, good lord) and learn what life was like for Marinette pre-Origins, and oh boy. It's hell. She's making up illnesses to avoid school, avoiding all contact with anyone in the courtyard, having cockroaches put in her locker, having the Principal catch her "late" for class (after she had to clean herself up from a water prank), gets yelled at by the teacher for being late, sits in paint, mocked in class and then yelled at again by the teacher for pointing out the person mocking her probably planted it, and gets Saturday detention. All in one day. And when anyone tries to talk to her or even glares at the person responsible, they get threatened too.
The main reason this is hell is because Marinette is being let down by every single adult in her life. Sabine just laughs and tells Marinette that she only has a few weeks left with Chloe and it's not like she'll be in the same class as her next year.🙃 Well, why don't you make SURE she doesn't?! Maybe this is just an American vs French school thing, but where I come from, it's totally within your rights to request that your child not be put in the same class as someone else, they could at least put in a throw away line about her parents TRYING to move her, but Chloe's not allowing it JUST to keep Marinette close to her. And maybe take this a little more seriously, Sabine- your daughter is faking illness to avoid One. Girl. That should be concerning, not "lol my daughter is so silly for trying to get out of class."
Damocles finds Marinette and yells at her for being "constantly late" and praising the "anonymous notes" (signed by Chloe -_-) for always alerting him when she's behind, and then later gives her Saturday detention for...someone clearly planting paint on her desk chair? He sees a victim of bullying and punishes her for it. At the end of the episode he even suspends Socqueline for something that happened outside of school, yet in "Jubilation" she's pumping him up as The Best Principal?! Does this show thinks we're stupid or something?!
Mendeleiev also yells at Marinette for being late. She allows Chloe to make fun of Marinette for looking depressed when she comes in and allows Chloe to mock Marinette for sitting in paint, but when Marinette doesn't even stand up for herself but just accuses Chloe of putting the paint there, THEN Mendeleiev has something to say, and it's to Marinette? For "groundlessly" accusing the only person in the room laughing at Marinette, the one who was just making fun of her, the one who kept her eyes on Marinette so she could watch her sit in the paint?
Marinette tells Socqueline that all the adults are scared of Chloe, but that's not what I saw. Sure, at the end of the episode Damocles is afraid when Chloe pulls a "Lady Wifi" to force him to punish Socqueline for smashing Sabrina's phone, but the sequence of events played out more like the adults participating in the bullying. It wasn't like Damocles was sympathetic to Marinette and then Chloe cleared her throat, so he straightened up nervously and started berating Marinette. It wasn't like Marinette accused Chloe and then Chloe glared at Mendeleiev, forcing her to finally intervene. All the adults see what's going on and are either completely oblivious or don't care.
Also, Chloe totally unprompted says this:
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GET A LIFE, what is your PROBLEM?! Like, why have a flashback episode and not have it explain what Chloe's fixation on Marinette even is?! It doesn't have to be big or anything! Like, have Marinette trip and spill something on Chloe in art class! Just do something!
And like, I totally get that irl bullies just choose their targets for no real reason and this is just another example of that, but to this level?! Just...get a hobby!
And then there's the big thing they did in this stupid episode. The unforgivable. The reprehensible.
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This fucking guy.
It's been so long since we've seen Bully Kim that I was pretty sure he was left behind entirely on the draft floor. Sure, Kim is still capable of being insensitive or not thinking long-term, but he was a good kid. He roots for his friends and wants everyone to have a good time.
Hell, I could even buy that Kim was dumb enough to believe Chloe when she claims what he did was a funny practical joke that they'd all laugh about later...until Socqueline came up and yelled at him that he should be ashamed of himself.
And Ondine yelled at him in the present that he should be ashamed of himself.
And it's a year later and he should have realized by now that he should be ashamed of himself.
Kim is dumb, that's just a fact, but the way he doubles down and is so sure of himself that NO it's everyone ELSE who has a problem because they can't take a JOKE? Like...why?! Why did they co-sign on this character assassination?!
Just make him become akumatized because he's A S H A M E D of what he did now that he's finally sitting down and thinking about it a year later! He can keep the same look and motif, just have Monarch stroke the part of him that doesn't want him to be the jerk, the old Kim! It's totally normal, especially for a kid, to want to believe that they're not the bad guy even with all the evidence pointing to it, so I could even see the akuma being exactly the same.
But naur, it's KIM who talks like a right-wing podcast douche bag, complaining that you can't just speak your mind these days and everyone needs to get a sense of humor, they just don't GET it man, this is just how he IS brah, take it or leave it! His akuma's even named "Dark Humor", like edgy losers on reddit who make racist/sexist jokes and then get mad when he's downvoted and boo'd out of a forum. God, we just CAN'T TAKE A JOKE I guess.
I'm glad this is resolved by Ladybug gluing a toilet to his head.
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I just...I feel like this could've worked in Season 1, or Season 2. Like...put it before Dark Cupid or before Syren or something. That way, Kim being a total douche is the starting point of his character arc, not the Season 5 Post-Hero Run point, ugh.
It'd also make this stupid line make more sense:
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I'm sorry, the girl who got you akumatized after she humiliated you in nearly the same way you humiliated Marinette? I guess that was "just a prank bro" too, right?
Establish Marinette's problems with romance early, so she can overcome them or at least give them the proper context. It'd at least make the show look better if they hadn't made fun of her for 4 Seasons only to drop this bombshell on us at the end. You know...the thing that they just did.
This episode just isn't fun. I hated "Illusion" because all you get to see is the bad guys winning and outsmarting the heroes, but "Derision" is a marathon of seeing the absolute misery Marinette was put through, just to jump forward to the present to destroy a character that I really liked.
Would a kid even like this episode?
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delreykenn-punk · 10 months
Text
it's you, it's all for you
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(joel miller x fem!reader)
warnings: angst, angst, angst, Joel is emotionally damaged, age agap (reader is in his early 30s, Joel is canonical age; 56), jackson!era, mentions of sex, swearing, Joel is an asshole summary: Idk, joel and you are kind of friends with benefits but you want more, that´s it words: 1.5k
You had a kind of relationship with Joel since the QZ in Boston, a kind of agreement in wich only fucked “without feelings”, you two didn't go beyond that because he didn't want to and didn't feel safe to take that step, which you respected. You knew he had a daughter named Sarah, you found out during a night where he couldn't sleep and he whispered between dreams her name crying and asking for forgiveness, you never ask about it because you respected his privacy and you didn't want him to push you away.
But then Ellie and the fireflies happened; lost Tess, Bill, Frank, Sam and Henry, you two went through many things together, wich made you felt like you were something much more than just friends with benefits, he opened up to you and Ellie, finally he talked about his babygirl and his suicide attempt, you saw him in his most vulnerable moments and you hugged and held him when you knew he needed it most.
You loved Joel, you had no doubt about that, you realized that you loved him that time the group of cannibals attacked you three and he was hurt, you had not felt so much fear in your life until he almost died for the infection. You didn't tell him, but while he was almost unconscious and dying and you were about to go out to find something to fight his infection he took your arm and whispered "please stay with me my love, I love you" after that he fell asleep again, leaving you perplexed at his words, you had many questions going through your head, too many doubts and mixed feelings, you didn't have the heart to leave him, so Ellie went to get the supplies.
You were afraid that he would not remember what he told you, you hoped to be able to talk once they got something to make him get better, but everything went to hell when they took Ellie and David happened, he had mentally screwed the girl, wich made you forgot your situation with Joel and prioritized Ellie before you. Then the fireflies happened, Joel and you rescued Ellie and fled back to Jackson and settled back in the commune, you could finally enjoy some peace after everything they had been through and you liked to believe that the three of them were a family.
It had been months since they returned to Jackson, things with Joel were still the same, he never mentioned what he told you that time when he was dying, and you did not touch the subject no matter how much you died of wanting to do it. With that came your breaking point, you couldn't stand it anymore, you needed to talk to Joel, you needed to know where all this was going, you wanted everything with him, with it his flaws, you already knew about his daughter Sarah, you practically knew everything about him and you wanted more.
You were in the kitchen of the house you shared with Ellie and Joel and you were so sunk in your thoughts that you didn't hear it coming. "Hey, did you hear me?" you came out of your trance and were startled when you saw Joel sitting at the table in front of you. "Oh, sorry I didn't hear you come Joel, what's wrong?" you left the cup of tea you had in your hands on the kitchen counter, noticing that you hadn't taken a sip, you were gone for quite a while.
You sat next to him at the small table. "I was telling you that if you were okay, I arrived and I saw you standing there doing nothing, you were very disconnected from the world honey" he laughed softly, "Are you okay baby?" he placed his hand gently on top of yours.
You looked down, suddenly feeling too shy and embarrassed to say something, "I... yes this- no, I actually want to talk to you Joel, i-it's about something I've wanted to tell you for a long time," out of the corner of your eye you saw how he got serious and nodded, giving you permission to speak.
You got nervous, you had already planned what and how you were going to tell him everything, but Joel had you so bad that nothing came out of your mouth, the man had that imposing power over you, plus there was the fact that you would not know what his reaction would be. You took a long, deep breath before blurting out "What are we Joel?, Where is all this going?" you finally looked up and watched as his jaw tensed, instantly regretted saying that when he abruptly removed his hand from yours "What are you talking about?" he raised an eyebrow in your direction.
"You know, we've been together since before Jackson and-" he interrupted you "No, you knew very well where I stood on this and you agreed with me," he got up from his chair in frustration, running a hand through his hair. Before he could speak you interrupted him "No Joel, please, this place is our chance to be happy and be a family, I know you're afraid to love me and it's okay to have it, but we're fine, we're safe, I lov-" you shuddered when he turned to you and shouted "NO, I can't do this okay? I can't, I don't know what made you think we could be the happy family you lost, we're not them and we never will be, in this fucked up world things are no longer handled like that, for god´s sake, stop living in a bubble and stop getting excited, I don't feel those cheesiness for you, I don't love you" he snapped angrily while staring at you.
Your eyes began to fill with tears, you could not believe what he was telling you, you felt as if you had been stabbed in the back, no, this was a thousand times worse, he knew how you felt about your family, you always hoped to have one again, to be able to be happy and start from scratch, you thought you had found it with Joel and a small part of you liked to think that he also felt that for you but at the same time It seems things were not like that. "Fuck you, how dare you tell me that!" you sobbed so loudly, you were holding back a lot of crying that you started to feel short of breath "I've given you everything of myself, I've let you fuck me however you want, I've been your shoulder to cry, I hug you when you have nightmares and you can't sleep, I never asked you about your daughter because I wanted you to tell me when you felt ready and seriously you have the impudence to say that it made me think we could be a family?" you laughed without being able to believe it, I was hurting you too much.
He looked away from you, you cried and sobbed until you calmed down a little and continued talking "You say that you do not feel those cheesiness and that you do not love me but the time you were hurt and you were about to die you told me not to leave your side and that you loved me" and there it was,  you let go, and you never thought it felt so liberating to do it "Explain it Joel, look me in the eyes and explain that shit!" you screamed and shed tears of fury as you approached and came face to face with him.
Finally he looked at you, you watched how his gaze seemed to relax and you swore that you could appreciate softness in his eyes, his hands closed into fists, it was as if he was struggling with himself to say something, for a moment you thought he would apologize to you, ask for forgiveness and finally stop lying to himself, you frowned when you heard him a low laugh and his countenance changed to one of mockery "I hate to tell you baby, but when you're under the influence of an infection you can say any nonsense, I don't even remember saying that for god's sake, maybe you imagined it, so stop begging for something that never gonna happened." You had enough, you were not going to continue humiliating yourself for him, if he did not want this well "Okay Joel" you wiped your tears "you are right I imagined it, I was the deluded one who believed you were a better man, a good one, I idealized you a lot and I am very sorry to have seen things where they had not" you did not know or why you apologized, you just wanted to end this discussion and go away from it.
You headed towards the exit without looking back, leaving Joel speechless still standing on the kitchen island, if he was sorry you didn't care anymore, not even taking some of your belongings, you didn't want to just go on there, what once felt like home at that moment stopped feeling that way.
A/N: ok, so this is my first fic, I apologize if there is any kind of grammatical error, English is not my first language, I promise to improve :) This has a second part, I've been working on it for a month lol, it will come eventually, I just don't know when, but it will.
reblogs, comments and likes are welcome :)
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simply-wlw-kpopstan · 18 days
Text
7. Home
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⚠️ Spoilers ahead, brief mention of suicide (implied in 1 sentence)
You got a message from yewon with everything you needed on Sunday. She even did more than you asked and hacked into the psychiatric visitor's list to get your name on there. She truly was a gifted hacker if she can do all of that without getting caught. Now what will you do when you get there?
First things first, call your aunt and explain everything that happened. Step two get a good lawyer so you can fight harin's sorry excuse of a family and get her out. Step 3 get your aunt to agree to let harin stay with you. Thinking it over, the hardest part would be step 2. You knew your aunt would let harin stay if you asked, she already knew a little about her since you accidentally slipped out you had a crush. What will happen when you see harin? What if she thinks you're there to take her home and you have to tell her that you can't? You shook your head and waved those thoughts away.
The day had arrived when You were going to visit harin for the first time and got nervous. At first glance it looks like a small hospital but once you actually look, you notice the barred windows. you realize how isolated it actually is when you don't hear a sound and it starts to feel eerie.
When you arrived at the doors, they were locked and you buzzed the intercom. A woman at a desk looked up from inside, smiled and the buzzer made a noise before her voice came through "hello, how can I help you?"
"I'm here to visit someone, my name is y/n y/l/n."
"hold on just a second. " a slight panic creeps up. Does she know? What if they arrest you for hacking into the system? "ah yes I found you. I see you're visiting a new patient here. I'll buzz you in and you have to fill out a form"
"alright." you took a deep breath of relief once the line cuts and the door buzzes open. You walk in and take care of the paperwork, once that was done she gives you a visitor's pass and asked you to wait until one of the nurses comes down to get you.
The metal doors swing open and a middle aged woman walks up to the reception with a clipboard. "I swear things are getting worse up at 4. We got another one." she sighed as she hands over the papers.
"isn't this the 3th one this month?" the receptionist asks and the nurse nods, "Okay, I'll call the family and the morgue. Can you please take that girl to visit so Eun? She's the newest arrival, she's on floor 1."
So eun? Right. That was harin's name before she got adopted. That family really stripped her from everything didn't they? " ofcours." she turns to you with a smile and motioned to follow her" Come along. Sorry It took so long. It's been a hectic day." you quickly follow after her as the doors begin to close again. "You're the first visitor for her, we didn't think anyone would come since there aren't any emergency contacts mentioned in her file."
"It's complicated but I'm taking care of it. She had a family but they abandoned her recently. "
The nurse smiled broadly. " I'm glad she still has you then. Being here can take a toll on a person the first few days, it's important that she knows she's not alone in this. "
" I've told her that before. No matter what happens she'll always have me. "
"I don't mean to be rude but what is your relationship to her? Are you family?"
"I Uhm I'm a friend."
"hmm, a friend." she smiled, "or perhaps you're more? It's okay. Love is love, you can't help who you fall for." you smiled at her words and were thankfully she didn't ask anything else, "well here we are. She normally has roommates but they are all participating in classes at the moment so you have some alone time for the next 2 hours."
You thanked her for everything and stood in front of harin's door. You try to control your emotions before you walk in, she doesn't need to see you emotional while she's going through all of this. She needs a shoulder to lean on and you will be that for her. You walk inside the room and see her sleeping, she looks peaceful and you're debating on letting her rest or waking her up. Before you can decide harin shifts around in bed and opens her eyes, looking straight at you with a little frown. "hi there." you spoke softly
"I hate this. Why do I always dream about you being here?" her voice cracks and you saw the tears well up in her eyes, "It's not fair, please go away." she turns around and faces away from you.
"harin this isn't a dream," you walk around her bed and squated down so you'd be face to face with her, "i'm really here." you tug a hair strand behind her ear and she just stares at you with teary eyes. "i'm here harin. Just like I promised"
She loses the battle and a few tears slip down as she cups your face with one hand and traces her thumb in circles, "H-How did you find me?"
"does that matter?" you lean into her touch and kissed the palm of her hand. "I'm sorry that it took so long but I'll get you out of here, I promise. I'm already working on-"
"don't" she pulls her hand back and shifts to sit up in bed. "this is what I deserve"
"what? No. You don't deserve this." you shook your head and sat down on the edge of her bed.
"I do. I've hurt so many people and never even cared about anything but myself. I deserve to be in here. I deserve what happened to me. "
You wondered if she knew about what happened after the fire. What her 'family' did. You took her hand in yours and started to play with the bracelet you had given her, she's still wearing it. " do you know about your-"
"that they disowned me? Yes. When I woke up I asked to call my grandma but they told me there weren't any contacts and that's when I knew." she sighed.
"you still want me to believe you deserve that? You don't. I'm working on this, I'll get you out and you can stay with me. I'll expose them for what they did. How they treated you and-"
"don't. Let me stay."
"what ? You- you want to stay here?" to say you were shocked was an understatement, you would've guessed she would want to get out immediately.
"yes. I don't want you to go against them. They have too much power, you don't stand a chance against them. Just let me work on myself in here, I'll prove to everyone I can change. When I get discharged we can go out on our first date. I'll have that fresh start I wanted with you."
"are you sure? I already have an amazing lawyer who's looking into things. I can get you out of here, you can still work on yourself without being here."
"there are professionals here that can help me. I know you want to help me but this is what I want. This is my shot at redemption."
"alright. If this is what you want I'll support you. I'll visit as much as possible. Once you have your schedule we can work out which days I visit."
"that works for me." she smiles, "I'm really sorry I dragged you into this. I asked my grandmother if she could get you into baekyeon and in my class. If I just left it at that one meeting you woul-."
"Harin, don't. In the end I made the decision to go didn't I? I don't regret anything because if you didn't ask your grandmother we never would've had a chance together."
"I can't argue with you if you put it that way." she pouted.
"then don't argue with me." you smile and you leaned in until your eyes caught the sight of medication and then the overdose popped into your head making you pull back.
"what? What's wrong" she frowned and followed your gaze, "Oh." she looks down as she catches on to your thoughts. "they give us these pills in the morning. I guess it's to keep us calm? We don't have to take them but they write it down if you don't so they can see who actually needs them and who doesn't."
"were you actually planning to...." you couldn't get it over your lips but you didn't have to, she knew.
"I don't know. I want to say that I knew how much to take but I didn't. It was all pure luck. I don't really want to think about what could've happened, to be honest."
"that's okay, at least for now. I do want to talk about it but only when you're ready."
She nodded and tugged at your hand, "can I get that kiss now?" She asked as she looked down at your lips.
"you don't have to ask" you smiled and leaned in for that much awaited kiss. The moment your lips touched everything felt right again, she was here in your grasp and nothing else matters but that. "just so you know. Once you're discharged from this place you're coming home with me. My aunt and her lawyer are taking care of all the legal stuff."
"so we'd be living together?" She smiled.
"well, my aunt will be there in the beginning so she can get to know you and once she knows she can leave us alone she'll take off again. That were the conditions."
"I look forward to the baby pictures and all the stories." she teased.
"I was a cute baby for your information! But she does have some stories that I'm already dreading." you thought over all the embarrassing moments of your childhood she could tell. "maybe don't ask her in the first few weeks I'm begging you."
"hmm, you'll have to keep my mind off of it then." she smirked.
"Oh I'm sure I'll find a way to keep you busy." you smile, "I did want to ask you about what you want me to call you. Do you want to keep harin or change it back to so eun? Or maybe you can get a new name?"
"harin is fine. So eun is my past, I can't go back to that and if I change my name again my-- they will win. I don't want to give them that satisfaction." her expression changed from sad to determined really quickly once she said that. "they might have disowned me and are revoking the adoption but they can't change my name."
"what about your last name?"
"maybe I can mix my names? How does So Harin sound?"
"perfect." you kiss her hand and she smiles. You look around the room and it feels so empty, "so, what do you usually do around here?"
She chuckled at your attempt of normal conversation, " at the moment I usually talk with a bunch of doctors and psychiatrist so they know what type of therapy I need. They're all nice which makes talking about what I did worse. "
"Well, I'll sneak in a book next time." you wink and she laughs.
"I can have books. This isn't a prison where you need to smuggle stuff in. I am getting my own room soon though. Apparently they want to take me to a different floor, one with more people my age and stuff."
"as long as you don't fall in love with someone else I'm okay with it."
"Oh so you'll ask the staff to relocate me if I do?" She clocked an eyebrow.
"are you saying you'll find someone else?" you fired back.
"nobody would compare to you. You've seen me at my highest and lowest, enjoy it 'cause that' s for your eyes only. No one has seen me the way you have."
"I kind of like the thought of that if I'm being honest."
You stayed until visiting hours were over and promised you'd be back soon. True to your word you made regular visits after harin got her schedule and after a few months of good behavior on harin's part you could go out for a few hours. You mostly took walks in the nearby forest and did have some little make-out sessions in more secluded area's. Eventhough you had planned some cute little picnics harin refused to call it a date, she already planned out what she wanted to do with you when she was discharged and that was going to be your first official date. You didn't mind to call these picnics dates but since harin was so stubborn you agreed to calling them hangouts, as long as you were with her you were fine with anything.
It took a year for her to be discharged from the place. You had gotten yourself a drivers license and borrowed a car from your aunt to Suprise her. She didn't know you got one and were planning this for months but you'd do anything for her. You're leaning against the hood of the car when she walks outside. She stops and takes a second to close her eyes and bask in the sunlight, you can't help but stare at her and fall even more in love.
"will you finally tell me where we're going tonight?" you smile as she walks up to you.
"no. Not yet." she wraps her arms around your neck and pulls you close, "hi there." she smiles.
"hi gorgeous." you smile and kiss her, "you ready to leave"
"yes. as Nice as everyone was, I'm ready to start my new life with you." she looks around and frowns, "where's your aunt? Isn't she driving us home?"
Home. You could get used to hearing her say that. "actually," you grab the keys from your back pocket and dangle them in front of her face, "i'm driving. I wanted to be able to pick you up when the time came so I got my drivers licence. Now you can be my passenger princess."
"You're amazing." she smiled and gave you a peck on the lips before pulling back and putting her bag in the trunk with you scolding her for doing it herself. "i'm a big girl i can put it away myself."
You hummed and got in the car together, "are you ready to meet my aunt tonight?" you ask as you pull out the parking lot and drove home.
"I'm nervous but knowing you, you've already told her a lot about me." she smirked as she leaned her head against the headrest while looking at you, "you look really attractive driving."
" whatever is going on in that head, stop those thoughts. I'm driving." you throw a quick glance to see her smile. You took a hand off the steering wheel and placed it on her thigh, "we have all the time in the world now. No need to rush."
"I'm happy you said that because as long as your aunt's home we're not doing anything." she laughed at your small pout.
"define anything. Does it include-"
"nope. Stop those thoughts you're driving." she smiled and you loved how relaxed she looked. For the first time ever you saw her posture falter a little bit, she's just leaning against the window but the harin from a year ago would still have a straight back and a straight face while looking out the window. She's looking at the scenery with a content smile and you're happy she chose to stay and work on herself. it couldn't have been an easy decision to make when she heard you talking about getting her out but she stayed and it worked.
She was finally showing who she was, the girl that she had pushed back all those years. The person you saw when everyone else saw a mean powerful heiress. She was excited in showing people she had changed. jaeun had agreed to meeting up with the both of you in a few weeks, suji hadn't really answered but jaeun had mentioned she'd get her to join. It was an important step for harin to face the people she hurt and to try to make amends with who was willing to listen. she prepared for the worst when she asked you to contact them, not expecting them to agree and now she was looking forward to the meeting. You hated to remind her there was a chance they wouldn't except her apology but she said she was ready for it.
Once you got home you took harin's bags to the spare bedroom, sadly also one of the conditions of your aunt. You did compromise that you could sleep in the same room for the first few nights. As you were walking to her bedroom with some drinks you hear a thud from her room. "What was that? are you okay?" you ran into her room to see her laying down on the bed with a smile.
"yes don't worry. It's just this bed is so comfy compared to the bed I had." she sighed as she stretched out. You laid down next to her and she immediately cuddled into you, laying her head on your chest with a leg thrown over yours.
"I love you" you said as you ran your fingers up and down her back.
"I love you too." she leaned up a little and planted a kiss on your lips, "it's about time I said it isn't it?"
You chuckled, "you wrote it down, that also counts."
"no, not for the first time."
In the end everything worked out for the both of you. You went on your first date and harin got to talk with jaeun and suji. It took some time but the both of them saw how much she had changed, how much she regrets what she did and eventually forgave her. Harin occasionally woke up from nightmares and you always took a walk around the block when that happened. You'd sit down on the couch with hot chocolate and some TV show playing in the background as she talked about her dreams. There were a lot of things that she still had to overcome from her childhood, some things she wouldn't and it would be hard.
In the end harin knew she had a home with you and your aunt. Come to think of it She might be your aunts favorite since she calls her more than you but you didn't mind. It's about time harin felt the love of a parental figure, to have them care about her without any expectations. You slept in separate rooms when your aunt was home most of the time but once she left harin always ended up in your bed. Things slowed down and as the both of you settled into this new life you couldn't wait to see what the future had in store for you two.
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masterlist
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This is the end of this story🫣 thank you to everyone for reading, sharing and liking❤️ special thanks to @iwendix (I know Suprise mention😁) for reacting on the posts and leaving those comments. They really helped me come back to the story to finish it.
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jhoneybees · 4 months
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Little Nurse in Charge
Finally I'm posting another fic! I've been really missing the experience of writing so I'm getting my fogged up brain to work again lol there might be a few errors and misspelt words😅
Characters: Late60s/70sCG! Elvis X little!reader
Warnings/triggers: Age regression, little lifestyle, sickness
This is honestly my favourite moodboard🥹👇
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Elvis had a long, stressful week. His schedule was hectic, being rushed from one place to another and doing a lot of recording and such was really taking a toll on him. You being his beloved partner, you worry about him. Everytime you would suggest for him to get some rest, he’d just brush it off and say he can handle it in which seeing him fall asleep in a millisecond the moment he flops onto the bed after a jam-packed day at the recording studio tells you otherwise.
Once Elvis finally gets some time off, the next morning he wakes up sore all over also having a scratchy throat, clicking his tongue in annoyance when he realises. Detangling himself out of the bedsheets , he pushes on the mattress with his knuckles and makes his way to the bathroom to find something for this “stupid cold” he mutters to himself, he stops in his tracks when he hears you stir in your sleep. Turning his head, Elvis watches your eyes flutter open, blinking blankly at him a few times before your eyebrows start to furrow and a pout forms. He sighs softly, you woke up little. Elvis pinches the bridge of his nose whilst resting a hand on his hip. How is he gonna take care of his sick self while also looking after little you? He already feels like a sack of potatoes that's been knocked about on the back of a farm truck so having to make sure your needs are met is gonna be a tough challenge, he never says no to being a caregiver for you though, he always takes up the challenge.
Elvis walks back over to the bed when you do grabby hands and he weakly chuckles “Mornin’ baby” leaning down to kiss your forehead, you respond wiggling closer to him and wrapping tired limp arms around his lower abdomen. Elvis smiles and strokes a strand of hair away from your face “Did ya get a good sleep?” answering with a small nod “Good sleep, daddy” you say while burying your face in the side of his thigh making him chuckle but he suddenly clears his throat which you didn't take notice of. “Did Daddy have a good sleep?” you ask quietly, Elvis cocks his head to the side and stares at the wall, letting out a hum as he thinks “Not really, Daddy's not feelin' too good this Mornin'” looking back, he sees a worried frown from you “Why?” questioning as you decide to sit up and Elvis smoothing your hair down. “Hm just sore and achy, baby” your concern grows, no matter if you're little or not, you always made sure Elvis is alright which sounds like he isn't, your eyes leave his to stare down at the duvet on the bed, the little crease between your eyebrows prominent as you process the situation.
Suddenly your eyes light up with an idea and you quickly scurry out of bed, pushing Elvis’ chest with your little hands “Lay down Daddy, lay down” you order and Elvis frowns in confusion “um sure.. but- why baby?” Doing what he's told, swinging his legs onto the bed and resting his head on the head board. You try to give him an authorised look but just ended up looking like an angry baby to Elvis, he chuckles slightly before he nods and raises his eyebrows at you “Daddy's sick, I- I'm look after him” explaining your plans to your daddy making him smile nervously “U-um that's real sweet of ya honey but i-i- don't think that's a good idea..” usually when you're little, Elvis would do everything for you since you just make a mess or have accidents that end up you crying or getting injured but you just shake your head “uh uh no daddy, nigh nighs’ “ telling him to just go to sleep and let you do your thing which he hesitantly accepts and gets comfortable under the covers. Elvis watching you run out of the bedroom and hearing your sooties scattering down the stairs, he laughs to himself at your funny behaviour.
After some time you arrive back through the bedroom doors with the first aid box that Elvis keeps in one of the kitchen cabinets for whenever you hurt yourself or get sick, a bit confused how you retrieved it since it's kept in a place out of your reach “H-how did you get that?” Elvis sits up and points a finger, you look at him with a pout and set the box on the bedside table “No Daddy nigh nighs!” completely ignoring his question and you push on his chest to make him lay down, Elvis sighs “Okay okay, I'm going nighs nighs, I'm goin'' closing his eyes and sighs.
As he tries to relax, Elvis begins to hear clinking of medicine bottles and ruffling of plastic packaging so out of curiosity he opens his eyes and cranes his neck “What are you doing honey?” Huffing out a breath you whine “daddy!” Elvis raising his hands in defeat “Okay alright alright, sorry” he rests his head down on the pillow again. A few moments later, a pair of hands caresses his hair away from his forehead and your voice quietly babbling “Daddy go nighs nighs..sleepy sleepy… puppy wittle puppy” Elvis's lips curve at the corners, stifling a laugh by adjusting himself in bed so he wouldn't ruin the moment for you. Your sweet nature of always looking out for people is one of things that made Elvis think he had to have you because how can he not? Of course because he's Elvis Presley but also because why not have someone like you? Someone so sweet and kind, babying him with all your love, all your devotion. What's not to love?
He sighs again as you continue to sing a lullaby that is obviously made up “Sleepy puppy…sleepy, sleepy, sleepy” The more you sing your little song, Elvis falls into a floaty sleep, soon drifting off. Bringing the covers up to his chin, you hum softly as your attention turns to the first aid box, your little hands hovering over the tops of the medicine bottles and paper boxes filled with bandages and other things that your little brain doesn't have a clue what they're used for. Picking up a thermometer, you cautiously move the blanket from Elvis' arm and slide it under his armpit. Taking a quiet step back, your eyes watch Elvis’ sleeping face with adoration and love. You’re just so lucky to have him as your caregiver, your daddy.
After a somewhat comfortable nap, Elvis wakes up. Looking around the room to find you’re not there, sitting up to rest his back against the headboard and lets out a breathy chuckle when he notices a thermometer under his armpit and shaking his head seeing your favourite stuffie being a white bunny laying next to him, thinking you must’ve put it there for him to feel less lonely.
He turns his head at the sound of the bedroom door creaking open to see you holding a tray with a bowl and spoon, pursing your lips with concentration to not spill anything. “What’s that baby?” Elvis chuckles quietly. A relieved breath emits, you place the tray on his lap “I ask Mary to make you soup!” you state proudly. With a calm nod and a loving smile, Elvis’ heart clenches “Aww… Thank you hon, that’s real sweet of ya” giggling like a schoolgirl, you climb onto the bed next to him and pick up the spoon “Hey, I- I can feed myself darlin” Elvis laughs nervously, watching as you hold the spoon near his mouth. You shake your head and whine “No! Open!” with yet another defeated sigh Elvis opens his mouth letting you spoon feed him. Even though Elvis feels nervous and on edge about you taking care of him, he does find it nice to just let you do what you want since you’re a calm little but of course still need to be disciplined now and again.
As you feed Elvis the last spoonful, you gently pat a napkin to the corners of his mouth, earning a chuckle “Always taking good care of Daddy hm?” poking at your sides playfully, you laugh and gently push his hands away. After Elvis moves the tray onto his bedside table, you decide to snuggle up with him under the blankets. Grinning softly as he sees you nuzzling your head against his chest and holding your favourite toy bunny tightly to yours. “Thank you for looking after me, little” he smiles.
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myheadhurtscutely · 5 months
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Star Stationary - Modern!Anakin Skywalker x Reader - Chp. 2
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C ` Anakin Skywalker x Reader
Summary ` Since the Halloween party, you've been kind of down about the brown-haired girl you saw Anakin kiss, but no time to fret. Anakin can't bear to see you sad for long.
!Warnings! Angst. But little fluffy bits here and there
wc ` 1.3k
notes ! this is closely based on characters, Jim and Pam, from a tv show, The Office.
Chapter one
It had been a couple weeks since you and Anakin walked out of the party to deliver him to that beautiful woman in his front seat. As much as you hated to say it, you cried on the way to your car. You only knew him for a bit, but something about him felt special. A type of feeling you never had before. A gut feeling that you two were supposed to meet. Regardless, suck it up and move on. You had better things to do then sulk.
Today was the first time you had even made eye contact with him since then. He had slid some papers over your desk to fax. You looked up, expecting to see one of your other coworkers, but your eyes followed the trail from his silver watch, to his pale blue sleeve, his neatly tucked collar, up to his tanned neck, his tightened jaw, and finally, his beautiful baby blues. It was only a quick glance, but it was as if this was his way of asking to go back to how you were. A small gesture where he says he needs you.
"I um, I need you to fax this for me please." He adjusted his glasses, as you merely nodded, grabbing the papers off your desk. You felt his eyes follow you to the fax machine, and soon his feet followed suit. You stood there, eyes unwavering from the papers and the machine. His remained glued to you, as if he was in a trance.
"Here you go." Your voice was quiet as you handed them back to him. His hand brushed your pointer finger.
"Thank you receptionist." His little joke didn't land. You just stared at him. In his awkward state of embarrassment, he nodded his head and walked back to his desk. You tried not to think much of it, but god how you missed him. Your desk felt empty without your blonde statue to stand in front of it and pester you when you were in a pinch.
Your eyes drifted to his direction often times, and his to yours, but your visions never crossed paths.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆─────
Lunch rolled around after what seemed like ages. You had made yourself comfortable in one of the blue chairs in the break room. Alone. Everyone had already taken their lunch earlier, but you had become so slammed at one point you had almost forgot.
Mid-bite into your sandwich, the door creaked open. A pair of blue eyes briefly met with yours, but you quickly removed contact, focusing back on your lunch.
"Stop doing that."
What the hell? Who did he think he was?
"I beg your pardon?" You finished your bite, turning to meet his eyes again.
"Don't play dumb. You know what I mean. I don't mean to come off rude..." His confident demeanor faltered for a second at the thought of hurting your feelings.
"Anakin don't-"
"Don't what? Ask my friend what's going on?" Friend. God, you had newfound hatred for that word and everything it meant.
"Nothing's wrong..." He had made his way to your table, scooting a chair out and plopping himself down across from you, leaning on his forearms.
"You know I can tell when your lying." You let out a fake laugh.
"Listen I've been there before... let me help you." Your eyes bulged. What was he talking about? Help you? Surely, he was out of his mind. You kept your mouth shut, chewing, waiting to hopefully hear more of his proposition. "Moving to a new place is hard. Having no one to talk to... let me help get you out there!" You let go of a breath you didn't know you were holding. "Padme has this friend-"
"I'm good." Padme. That name would ring in your ears the rest of the week. Hell, maybe even month. Your stomach twisted and curled at her name, completely making yourself blind to Anakin's pleas. You couldn't help but curse yourself for picturing yourself in her place. She had done nothing wrong, and you weren't that type of person.
After much consideration, you put the last bite of your sandwich down. "I'm sorry Anakin. You're right. I shouldn't have been such an ass." Both of you laugh and smile. As you walk to the door, Anakin opens it for you, guiding you through with his hand on the small of your back.
You cursed yourself for how it made you feel. But did you have a choice?
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The clock ticked, 20 minutes till 5. Thank God. Your's and Anakin's playful antics resumed to a degree. Passing each other silly notes, sarcastic emails, and of course customer gossip.
RING!!!
The company phone pulled you out of your daydreams. You answered greeting them politely and offering your standard help. A feminine voice answered on the other side. She asked to be directed to Anakin.
"Of course, one second please!" Your smiley voice faded as you put the phone down and redirected her call. "Anakin, hey, line three!" You held up your three fingers and whisper yelled to him.
He shook his head, nodded, and smiled.
You genuinely weren't trying to be in his business, but his "business" client was beginning to sound like a very personal conversation. Anakin held his head low, and kept his voice down. You could pick up small bits of his sentences. He wasn't happy.
"I blocked you for a reason- Padme- please- I don't want to talk right now- stop it- c'mon" His low voice hummed under the white noise of the office.
After minutes, his telephone slammed back down in its place. The whole office jumped, looking over at Anakin who gently raised his hands, apologizing quickly, reassuring everyone.
After minutes of rubbing his temples, his eyes followed you as you grabbed your coat off the rack. Several other people were making their way to the exit. It was five and no one was in the mood to stay longer. You couldn't blame 'em. This white light was mind numbing.
After a moment of grabbing your belongings, it was just you and him.
"Hey," His voice called out to you. You turned to meet him. "here's that guy's number." Not quite the romantic confession you were dreaming of, but it was whatever. He handed you a sticky note with Padme's friend's name and number. He really meant the best. You couldn't be mad.
"Thanks.."
"Don't thank me." He smiled coming up to you, towering over you. He looked at you almost as if he was asking permission for something. You looked at him quizzically. His hands guided themselves to your coat, buttoning the first two top ones. "It's cold out y'know."
You knew, but he just made you feel warm inside.
"Cmon let's go." He stuck his arm out, offering it to guide you out. You playfully smacked him and walked in front of him, making your way to the elevator first. You quickly tried to get the door to close, but he stuck his hand through, triggering the sensors just in time.
He moved into the small space, parading his body weight over you, backing you into a corner, pretending you weren't there. "Anakin!" You said muffled.
"Oh sorry! Didn't see you there." He moved to the side, smiling as he took your light hits to his arm with ease. The rest of the elevator ride was spent with silent smiles, and muffled laughs, the kind of laughter only the two involved would understand.
Ding!
The doors opened, revealing the lobby to you and Anakin. Once again, he raced ahead of you to hold the door open, guiding you out the way.
You made your way to your car, and he had followed, opening the door for you. After you ducked your way inside, he gestured for you to turn and take your feet out of the door side so he could close it. "Drive safe alright?" He whispered, tapping the top of your vehicle.
"Yes sir." You chuckled, looking down. He just smiled in response, gently closing the door as he waved.
notes: THIS TOOK FOREVER I AM SO SORRY, FINALS AND STUFF ARE CRAZY. I am trying so hard to write because it is fulfilling, and I love communicating with everyone, but it has been stressful and I've barely found time. I promise I'll try and get better about it, just have a lot on my plate, (trust, I will eat tho). Sorry this one is a lot shorter, I just don't want to add onto a chapter if it doesn't feel fitting y'know.?Regardless, thank you so much for being patient with meee. I hope you enjoyed!
tags ` @darthgloris , @queenie-official , @bby-imasociopath , @mxltifxnd0m , @jayrami3 , @robertsmithclone , @brainscabs , @bimbo-baggins86 , @t8lzw
(<3)
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