#and yes i am losing my mind a bit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

b-dwolf · 2 months

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need a buddie ‘i love you’ scene like so bad actually. doesn’t have to be romantic. i just would love to hear the words “i love you” said to each other on screen. because they do. they absolutely 100% do and they deserve to hear it as much as we get to see it!

and if it leads to feelings realization that is also a big win—

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #911 on abc #yes i am thinking about #‘i love you to the core’#and yes i am losing my mind a bit #let them say ily!!#let them hug!!#please!!!!!

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leafwateraddict · 2 months

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Found some old sketches I had for @llamagoddessofficials Coraline au along with some headcanons I had for Dart and Patch (also stuffing.. gore?)

Ft. A sexy Dart because I saw a fancy looking corset and put him in it and instantly regretted it (along with some ideas for his button eyes)

Also other Mc/Thread along with some sentences i thought of if I ever ended up writing that drabble (which I probably wont- rip)

#llamagoddessofficial #coraline au #You can see me slowly losing my mind as I make the guy who wants to probably eat my soul hot #like #ah yes #the consequences of my own actions #also practically fell in love with the concept of him using a curled needle as a weapon of sorts #like he uses it like a hook and it ensnares people #eheeheehe #now that I know a bit more about darts personality I’d prolly change the outift a bit #but i just saw a fancy corset and put him in it :3 #I will admit that I found some inspiration for dart in the distortionist from that one GHOST song #Idk why I went with stuffing gore but once it was there that idea was here to stay in my brain #I remember wanting to post these for awhile but I completely forgot about them lol #as ive said before #i am a sucker for coraline aus #undertale au #leafs art #cw gore #gore

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unlikely-gravestones · 2 years

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Dream heard it’s polite to check in on one’s...friends. He couldn’t have come at a better time.

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autisticbokutoenthusiast · 3 months

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i understand him

edit because i just had this thought WHAT IF HES WEARING A SCARF TO COVER HIS ONLY VISIBLE DIFFERENCE FROM NANT

what if hes trying to connect to his brother that way????

#oh nont #yes i am normal about this man and also my own life #sometimes you need to tease a bit of arson while screaming and crying and wearing a headscarf like i really do get it #im losing my mind over this moment i think like ive made 5 posts about it this week and its only been 3? days i need to calm down #playboyy the series #nont playboyy

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good-wine-and-cheese · 15 days

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Gambling Apocalypse Tenma AU

As I rewatch Kaiji I inevitably end up wanting to combine show I like with other show I like and stuffing fav characters into show. So here we are.

This was uh going to be a short summary type thing but I accidentally wrote a novella about it sorry

This AU starts off with a much more depressive Tenma. After Tobio's death, rather than immediately pour his grief into developing a robot version of his son, he recedes into himself, psychologically paralyzed, likely turning to alcohol to drown out his anguish.

His mental state is taken as an opportunity within the Ministry of Science to have him ejected from his position; Tenma was never the most well-liked director, and there were those with ambition to usurp him that would jump at the chance. Not that he especially cares in his state.

He's eventually dragged out of his stagnation by Ochanomizu - who, inadvertently, becomes the very catalyst pushing Tenma to develop a robot replacement to his child. This was not what he meant by encouraging Tenma to fill the void left by his son.

...But, well, he is no longer the director of the Ministry of Science. His access to limitless government funds and resources for "scientific research" has been cut off, and this is a project he cannot finance on his own. He can't ask Ochanomizu for help, but...interestingly...a representative of a certain shady organization known as the Teiai Corporation reaches out to him, offering to finance and support his project. A sane and well-minded Tenma might think better of it, but grieving and desperate, Tenma accepts their offer and is able to create a robot in the image of his beloved Tobio. For a while, there's joy in his life.

But the bill, as ever, comes due: Tenma must pay up, and the very resources that had been at his disposal will certainly ensure that he will, or else. Of course, he doesn't have the money; instead, he is given a choice. He can relinquish the robot Tobio in order to wipe out his debt - the child is a sophisticated and powerful robot, after all - or he can participate in a certain illicit event hosted by the Teiai Corporation.

It's nothing major...just a four-hour gambling cruise with a collection of desperate, damned souls that were also swept into debt with Teiai. The conditions are simple: Those who choose to participate are given a chance to clear their debts wholesale should they win. And should they lose...?

Well...no one really knows what happens to the losers seized by Teiai. It's said that they labour away their debts under Teiai's watchful eye and are freed once their work has covered their debts, though it's rumoured that most perish before they reclaim freedom.

There's only one answer Tenma can give, of course; he's not willing to lose Tobio again.

Thus is Tenma's debut into the Gambling Apocalypse, where he must become cutthroat in order to survive; if he wants to see his son again, he must make choices that will doom the hapless to miserable servitude, with a nonzero chance it ends in their death.

He survives the cruise, but of course, it was hardly enough to clear his debt; the cruise was never going to be the end of it. Teiai doesn't let go of its victims that easily. He will be called on again: this is a weight that hangs over him, all while he returns to his son Tobio. The same hands that have pushed innocents into hell must now be the hands that can embrace his child.

He wants to protect Tobio from the truth and enjoy what peaceful moments he's allowed with his son, but it's difficult. It's difficult to be the parent of a child who cannot understand the danger that looms ahead; this "happy" home is not to last. Tenma angers quickly and easily. He turns that anger onto Tobio.

As Teiai's games become more and more vicious and unrelenting, as his conscience holds onto the last vestiges of thread that remain, Tenma even threatens, once, to give the boy in: it would all end, then; the debt would be clear and no longer would he have to endure Tobio's childish annoyances, his ungratefulness.

The next time that Tenma is beckoned, Tobio takes matters into his own hands. He does understand, now; and he would have, if only Tenma had bothered to explain sooner. If it's a debt that needs clearing, he will work. He will help his father clear his debts however he can. Of course, it's difficult to find work as a child; but a circus troupe finds amusement in the idea of a child robot, and takes him in. He is whisked into a certainly unpleasant working situation, but he remembers his father, and what he must be enduring. Tobio, also, will endure.

When Tenma returns, Tobio is gone.

All that held Tenma back from becoming something monstrous has disappeared. All that kept him going has disappeared. When he is called upon by Teiai, there is no knowing what sort of person might come out the other end; whether a monster clawing his way to freedom regardless of what actions he must take, or a desolate husk surrendering defeat.

There is still a light, however dim: Found by Professor Ochanomizu and rescued from the circus, Tobio - now Atom - is able to shed light on the situation which Tenma took great pains to keep hidden from his old friend. With time running out, Ochanomizu and Atom must do what they can to save Tenma - from Teiai, and from himself.

-----

UHHH and that's a wrap!!!! I couldn't quite decide which way Tenma would go after hitting Rock Bottom in this AU, and tbh it would really depend on the kind of mental state he's in at the time. On the one hand I like the narrative of Ochanomizu and Tobio racing to prevent Tenma from crossing a line (actual outright murder probably) - or having to pull him back into humanity (and yknow, his ensuing penance)

But on the other hand having him get sent to Teiai Evil Hell Prison would be interesting because a) there's a lot of narrative potential having Tenma faced with what Teiai is doing with the people that lose the games and b) need him to decimate the foreman at chinchirorin Kaiji style

Tenma's whole character is definitely a much different guy in this AU, he starts off pretty sympathetic, the guy you wanna root for, he just ends up having an inverse character arc where he gets worse instead of better. His conflict with "Tobio" is also kind of reversed, less about being unsatisfied with Tobio as a son and more not being able to handle the fact that he probably has intense PTSD now and isnt capable of coping with it in a way conducive to being a parent (or like, coping at all)

Anyway that's gambling apocalypse tenma!!!

#umataro tenma #long post #well that became a novel. sorry lmao #in my mind teiai's evil hell prison in astro boy verse would probably be quite a bit different than regular kaiji #like. fuckin. weapons manufacturing for teiai or something like that. or scary bad danger robots. horrifying concept #Tenma would be a valuable asset to them whether by giving up Atom or by losing in death game hell and being forced to work for em #and if he dies? they can just take atom #get him out of there.#I'm also thinkin of who Teiai would be represented by.....the snakey loan sharks u could easily put skunk in there.#but who is an evil fucked up sadist billionaire. theres probably someone who could be fucked up enough I just dont know offhand #and im allergic to mischaracterizing in AUs lol im not gonna make a slightly bad guy into an evil freakguy. so. Hyoudou is just himself.#if you squint this could be considered an 80s astro boy AU..has a cruise arc & not actually giving atom away #but man. that tenma LEAST of all deserves this fate lmao #do I want to write fic of this? yes. will I? not likely!#I can just smell it dude this would be some crazy fuckoff 100k shit I am not ready brother #also it would just be soooooo so so so so so edgy. I dont really enjoy writing intensely grim stuff w/ little to no respite #also tbh. I am too stupid. LOL. I cannot write clever gambles alas

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singsweetmelodies · 1 year

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piarles 👏 girlies 👏 never 👏 lose 👏

#piarles #10 x 16 #pierrecharles #yes i am talking about the piarles basketball 2.0 #your honour i am losing my mind a little bit #but oh my GOD #CAN YOU EVEN BLAME ME #those photos... THE VIDEOS #we are being FED this dreary thursday; we really are #!!!!!!!!!!!! 😍😍😍#fellas is it gay to bend over in front of your bestie in a friendly game of basketball #asking for a friend xx

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tvrningout · 5 months

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🍾 + what is your biggest wish? (chiyo)

ask my drunk muses questions | @vonerde asks chiyo a question!

her warm, chocolate gaze falls to her hands, focusing on a ring that rests innocently on her middle finger. she toys with it, won't look at the other.

" to wake up, and... and someone's beside me waitin' for me to wake up. or maybe they're in the kitchen brewin' coffee, and they smile when they see me walk in. i wanna pick out matchin' pajamas with someone. i wanna fight over whose turn it is to do the dishes, and i--- i wanna come home, feelin' blue like i do sometimes, and it's okay 'cause... well, it's not okay, but it's better. they make it better. "

chiyo's voice is thick, wavering by the end, and she's quick to wipe at her eyes before any tears can fall. she breathes shakily.

" sometimes i think i'm really fuckin' close to havin' all that, but i'm... i'm like this. " she clumsily gestures towards herself. " and i dunno... sometimes i think that's all i'm ever gonna have. a wish. "

#vonerde #CRIES AND WAILS I AM IN PAIN BIG PAIN!!!!#I ALMOST WISH SHE WASN'T BEING SO HONEST HERE ASDFGHGFD #AND I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I DIDN'T MENTION IT BUT IN MY MIND SHE'S WEARING A RING SHE BORROWED FROM GAIA #truly though this makes me so sad bc chiyo is so lonely and all the success in the world can't fill the hole in her life that is #very specifically partner-shaped #self-love is a big issue for her yes but also? her idea of a 'happy ending' includes having someone to share it with #and if she can't have that then life loses a bit of its shimmer for her #VEE I'M SO SAD NOW #interactions | chiyoko #to restart this heart of mine | adulthood | chiyoko

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orbdotexe · 1 year

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Maybe for Osiris getting Saint back, Crow gets a message that has coordinates.

Maybe Osiris sent them a message asking for help, not knowing about how everything just went wrong and gets Crow instead, filling in for them.

And maybe when he finally asks, he find out that what happened to him happened to someone else but this time they didn’t even do anything to deserve it.

I was thinking about that, and might still do it if I can't figure out anything else, but.

I keep thinking about the Paradox. Saint, historically speaking, had been talking about a Guardian savior for centuries, and I think Osiris has it figured out that it's Wolf by the time he calls them to help, in canon.

I know I could just say "fuck Lore" but also. I feel like it loses some of its effect if it's Crow that does it, and I'm rather certain that the only reason it worked for Wolf, was because it was Wolf?

Orb thinks too much :<

But also consider: Osiris being the only even slight ally they have (that they know of, as I'm tempted to say Wolf doesn't know Cayde's alive/awake).

He knows what it's like to be in exile, he needs them to get back Saint. They need someone they can trust, past just Crow (eventually)

But I don't know how to make it happen??

Did Osiris, at any point, believe Wolf had done it? Or was it just, Ah. You've gotten yourself in Deep Shit, Young Wolf.

while objectively funny, I also think Osiris getting desperate enough to go to them, knowing how unstable they are and relying on their bond and the idea that he was once an exile as well could be interesting? I have no idea how well it suits him though

I DUNNO what do you think?

Also also consider: Savathun's "possession" of Osiris, if they are close in this. Wolf isn't there in the City to even see it, but they also aren't seeing him at all anymore. He isn't responding, he isn't meeting up with them. What happened to him?

Savathun, purposefully spending her time in the City to both gather her intel on the Light, and to isolate Wolf further (which, as far as I'm aware, was what she was trying to do to Crow and Wolf in canon, as well. So it lines up!) and see how far she can push before they break through rock bottom.

orb is indecisive as fuck...

Edit: okay i just realized this was an angst prompt and i am so sorry

#The forsaken exile #also i mean. don't take any of this as gospel or anything #I am. almost definitely not writing this in its entirety so if you guys wanna lose your minds over different ways to fuck up everyone #feel MORE than welcome because i *will* be devouring it #anyway ye i am currently collecting bits and pieces of slightly coherent things for Drifter's part. orb goes goblin mode.#They aren't particularly long. because my brain hates giving me anything more than a sentence or two at a time. but that's fine since-#-i flesh things out *after* writing them 9/10 #orb rambles

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sysig · 4 months

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Your Weekly TV Guide

On Monday you can expect:

2:30 PM: Skeleton Zine

And Tuesday:

2:30 PM: Sonas ft. Undertale

Wednesday:

2:30 PM: Halfway Autumn

Thursday:

2:30 PM: Handplates

Friday:

2:30 PM: Sona reacts to Handplates

Saturday:

2:30 PM: Undertale (Handplates?)

Sunday:

2:30 PM: Handplates

Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)

#Weekly TV Guide #Okay I chalk this one being late in the day up to my Surprisingly strong Sims 2 fixation lol #Was Super not expecting and yes I am still losing my mind about it lol #From one mind-losing to another! Far-flung queue lol #For reference: we're wrapping up November this week lol #The week starts out very silly hehe ♪#And hey there's some OCs in here! I wasn't far off with my jokey-joke NYR haha #I've been having on-and-off new ideas with them as well so maybe I can dedicate a whole page to concepts sometime soon >:3c #After getting the rest out of my system lol - new ideas have started to form but I haven't actually drawn anything since like - Tuesday?#And those were just finishing stuff up lol it's been almost a week since I've put thoughts to pictures!#Tomorrow's my offline day so you Know I'm gonna be chomping at the bit pfft #I'll be fine tho ♪ I'm looking forward to it :D #And to the stuff later this week!! I put a lot of effort into them and I'm very proud of them!!!#Pls look forward to them <3

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khalaris · 6 months

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#I am very normal about him #only losing my mind a little bit #him with his stupid arms and his stupid shirt and his stupid hands and his stupid smile 😭#hhnnnnnngggg #why is he like this #hubsi kramar #yes this is what I was thinking about when I described Ernstl in the last chapter #except about 45 years younger #(not me having an epiphany about aesthetic attraction last night while looking at this guy haha)

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miradorjake · 1 year

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someone tell me why tf I have gremlin josh saying “all things fuck the trees fuck the birds fuck humans fuck we all fuck okay even the ants in the dirt fuck” stuck in my head

someone free me I don’t like it here

#the clouds fuck!!!#god I fucking hate josh so much #anyways #yeah i’m losing my mind a bit and am severely sleep deprived yes this is making me cry from laughing #josh kiszka #like. WHY?????? WHY GOD

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thedeadthree · 1 year

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ok ok listen…….. what if i made a oc verse set in m*etriod.. like a clown or two set in the verse ✨👁🥀❣️

#for the audience of me hehe but they’re the clowns of my heart at the moment along with t*lou clowns and the asoiaf dears hehe #i mean ive had this storyline in my mind since i was like.. a kid and playing the remaster of p*rime it brought back all those memories? ✨😭#they were some of my first ocs too ! and returning to them again with fresh eyes im like.. a little emotional u know?#likely will yell more on ye olde oc blog but wanted to hear the besties thoughts on it if i were to talk about it?#(though i may transition them to an original verse instead but for now ! that’s where they’ll be hehe 🖤)#but ! yea ! for setting its like.. g*ot in space skzjjzjx and the empire is the liege lords of the space pirates hehe #they were brought up by the c*hozo and ofc they disappear and this gave the current empress an in to overthrow the old emperor #(and dad of one of the antagonist/deuteragonists !)#so that’s a little bit of it !#leg.txt #*personal #i am thinking as well of like a sort of a*nastasia sort of plot where a princess (and the daughter of the new empress) loses her memory ?#her love interest is the son of the old emperor and the current right hand of the new empress (its actually what she’s using against him ?)#(that he loves her and for that she would zero her if he didn’t aid her in overthrowing his father? it’s a time to be them!)#he was also brought up and raised by the same c*hozo who raised s*amus so they’re childhood friends !#basically he can’t stand her now bc he isn’t aware of her memory being gone and thinks she’s her hostage sksjzjjx #a bit of a misunderstanding going on! in later things he joins the team but! and he also has a brother as well!#and there’s a director of r&d who’s a bit of a snob and an master of intelligence who join the team too later!

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sacredthethreadgvf · 2 years

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Chapter 4 ✨

#I AM LOSING MY MIND.#yes yes this is my man and I am not ashamed #the theater kid jumped out a bit there joshy #reel it in #josh kiszka #Greta Van fleet

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niuxita21 · 2 years

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Tú puedes intentar desafanarte Incluso convencerme de engañarte No importará mil veces el por qué Te voy a conquistar cada vez, cada vez

¿No ves que esto no tiene remedio? Cuando te toca, te toca aunque te quites Dime adiós las veces que lo necesites Para darte cuenta que soy yo

#madre solo hay dos #ana servín #mariana herrera #shitty screencap posts (TM)#LIKE I SAID #I CAN'T STOP WATCHING AND CAPPING DON'T SEND HELP #it reminded me of jane and lisbon's kiss on their wedding day on the mentalist where it just kept going and going and GOING #and my heart couldn't take it anymore #I think what won me over was the way ana looked like all her dreams were coming true all throughout that kiss #she literally did NOT stop smiling once and no offense but she (the character) isn't that good an actress lmao #NO ONE can look that smitten for that long while kissing someone they don't particularly want to be kissing so CHECK AND MATE #and just the way she is clearly taking the lead the whole time for obvious reasons is the hottest thing ever ughhhhh #I mean yes I am still... apprehensive... about how this will be handled next season #but tbh the whole thing was worth it just to see Man Bun's face of disappointment dskgjhkdh we just keep winning #SPEAKING of faces in the audience did y'all notice that the only ones who seemed genuinely happy for them were mariana's grandmother #and tere's business partner? I loved her reaction especially she really seemed to be thinking 'isn't love beautiful?' nawww #it's hard to pick a favourite part but I think that little forehead touching bit in the second to last cap is up there #coupled with the way mariana clearly still has her eyes closed nawwww what happened boo the fake kiss got a little too real for you?#and the way they look at each other in the last one like NEITHER OF THEM is that good an actress I am LOSING MY MIND #what does it mean what does it all meannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn #anyway like I said this was NOT the first kiss I was expecting between them #but after sleeping on it I am game for whatever is in store in season 3 (with a few caveats that I will outline in a forthcoming essay)#and also like I said A+ for kissing #that's already half the battle won in my experience so we are golden!!! lol

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steelycunt · 2 years

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just read giovanni's room and oh my god . i don't think im ever . going to recover. i can see it's influence in otiofad, especially w the prose/dialouge and the last scene and christ, sirius' desperation reminds me oh so much of giovanni's and its killing me. in love w ur writing and everything abt it

i need to hear all of ur thoughts/ramblings on giovannis room

hi omg!! thank you!! i'm so glad you enjoyed giovanni's room its fucking devastating right :-/ usually with books that destroy me like that i can only read them once but smthn about gr...its like a car crash i can't look away from i constantly want to reread it. when i used it for the reference in otiofad initially it was just the first name that sprung to mind because it was my current read--i think at first i had something written like 'he's trying to read his copy of [PICK BOOK] aloud' and then i just stuck it in there as a placeholder (also wasn't planning to give otiofad a GR-related title) but actually by the time i'd finished reading it it felt like a surprisingly good fit...definitely as i was writing the end of the fic sirius' behaviour was heavily (if sort of subconsciously) influenced by giovanni and the end of that book...there was something so utterly haunting about giovanni's character that i STILL think about so regularly. and david is such an insane narrator too like he's so terribly consumed by his own shame that he assumes everyone else is just as doomed by their own personal shame as he is and he's wrong, giovanni isnt, and instead its his love for david + david's shame that ends up sealing his fate too and it's just. god :-/

#do not think ill be able to reread young mungo 4 a LONG time but every time i finish GR im like. immediately ready to do it all over again #and all the bits about giovanni being young and scared and bewildered when he's arrested like. you know exactly what im thinking how #am i meant to be normal about that...thee most insane book ever i dont think ill ever be able to get through 'and will you bring me home #again / yes i'll bring you home again' and not lose my mind. that post where its like sorry for being weird but you invoked a topic that im #incapable of being normal about...that is me with this book :-/ my friend's reading it soon off my recommendation and im sooo #excited i hope she likes it :-) i will be unbearably embarrassed if she doesn't but i hope she does :-)#anon #telegram #otiofad #giovanni's room #ALSO THE BIT WHERE DAVID IS IN THE HOUSE REFLECTING ON G'S EXECUTION and he's like 'i would labor with giovanni all night long...' LIKE

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orcelito · 1 year

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no joke i know Sentido is my nice lil drabble project rn but i am going thru so much psychological torture just reading trimax i am GOING to have to cope by coming up with an au to Make It All Okay

after i read trimax. im still in the middle of it all. but GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD tristamp only fans just do not KNOWWWWWWWWWWW

#speculation nation #like speaking as someone who Was tristamp only for a week or two #i was like 'oh wow this is so painful!' and it is!#but it still has. fucking NOTHING on trimax. what the HELLLLLLLL #thinking about how vashwood lost to akeshu on the Tragic Pairing poll #if those people had even a fucking Inkling of it all vashwood wouldve swept it #im saying this as a several years goroboy & akeshu lover. ok it just is not the same #yes akeshu is tragic NO it did not sneak into my brain and destroy every bit of joy in me slowly but surely like a suffocating weed #i say this with love. im having the time of my life. but GOD this is fucking torture #i love angst. i thrive on it. Obviously. im a chronic angst writer #but im used to there being at least SOME downtime and sillies to take the weight of the angst off #trimax is just bone deep pain over and over and over again #just when you think it's done hurting then you get hit with the next sucker punch #how am i supposed to SURVIVE THISSSSSSSSSSS I STILL HAVE 60 MORE CHAPTERS!!!!!!!!!!!#ughg. uifhgfkg. its nearly 4 am and i am losing my Mind. i need to go to bed.#fanny reads trigun #capturing my descent into insanity via that tag. whatup

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