#and what's even funnier is that men don't even want her. it's simply because she's unattractive

[konigsblog]

who’s pick me pearl??? 😭😭 at first i thought the anonymous was referring to pearl from the movie pearl

this is pick me pearl ↓↓ she says things like, ‘women shouldn't be equal to men’ and ‘abortion should be illegal’ (and refuses to acknowledge young rape victims getting impregnated by their rapist because "that's less than 1% of cases!")

just a lot of anti-feminism bullshit. she's right-wing, fs. i'll list a couple things she's said below:

“16 year old chicks are hotter than 26 year old chicks” she has said before. (wtf 😬)

says that cheating isn't a big deal.

if your husband gives you an STD, then you should stay with him.

she downplays domestic abuse.

says that marriage isn't supposed to be equal.

says that you're only hot in your 20s, and said that you're not wanted in your 30s. (she's 27, and hasn't ever been in a serious relationship before, or at least to my knowledge. clock's ticking, babe).

#you'll probably recognise her #i honestly believe the majority of her content is simply rage-bait #she's very privileged - her parents are very wealthy and she has LOTS of siblings #but i do believe a part of her is misogynistic - just not as extreme as this #and what's ironic is that she knows nothing about the things she's talking about (marriage pregnancy and relationships) #and what's even funnier is that men don't even want her. it's simply because she's unattractive #and i'm not saying that because i don't k like her. she's just not attractive

[noirandchocolate]

So now that the polls are closed on Round 1A, here's some comments on each match that had me on the floor throughout yesterday and this morning:

Match 1, Vimes vs. Mal

First of all PLEASE read this story of how @thestuffedalligator imagined the fight would go, it's GREAT.

Maladict would win the fight. Vimes would make sure of it.

--@thisblogisboundforglory-blog

Vimes is meaner. Maladict's a sweetie but also a poseur.

--@ellynneversweet

Match 2, Moist vs. Whiteface

See I love Moist he's my boy. But I don't think he'd actually win in a Fight. I think he'd find some way to get out of it rather than actually fighting in it. Meanwhile that clown is absolutely out to kill.

--@omicheese

Ok this one's decently close. But Mr. Slightly Damp could run circles around him. Clown on clown violence. But frankly Mr. Mildly Wet is the Stronger Clown. Not physically but in Clown Logic. Listen it's borderline toon logic. The winner the one for whom it would be Objectively Funnier for them to win.

--@nonbinaryspacegoo

Moist does some of his best work when he's trying to avoid something. IE participating in this fight. he's also self aware of the whole can't con a con-artist/can't cheat a cheater way of the world, and knows how to work that to his advantage. I have limited knowledge of the doc but even if he's capable of the same thought process, I think Moist would be more successful just because he'd put on a better show of being a sad pathetic wet meow meow boy. In order to make an opportunity to pull a trick. On account of being a poor wet little meow meow boy.

--@violetren

Match 3, Cohen vs. Reg

Reg I am so sorry. But you are dead and he doesn't want to be.

--@coredesignixandnekonee

This one is contrary to what most people would think, I think, but like, Reg Shoe was so determined in his goals in life that he came back as a zombie. So. I think if he were determined enough to beat Cohen, even though Cohen is nigh unbeatable, he would do it. Even if that's just simply by outliving Cohen or something ridiculous, as long as he has the conviction, he'd do it.

--@theeldritchbat

Trick question. Neither would win, they'll keep a back and forth of avoiding death for ever. Creating the first ever perpetual motion machine.

--@fefeman

Match 4, Mrs. Gogol vs. Rob Anybody

THIS ONE IS TOUGH. Because I think Rob would be very conflicted about fighting any hag, they'll curse you so hard you know. In the end I did vote Rob though, either because he'd avoid any curses by stepping in and out of reality, or just by annoying the shit out of Gogol enough to where she's like "Yknow what?? FINE. YOU WIN. LEAVE."

--@purpledemoncat

ppl saying Rob would win smh. listen love the guy. maybe in a straight fistfight with no other factors at play but like. They're freaked by witches my guy. She could use even her easiest headology and he's OUT.

--@nonbinaryspacegoo

Match 5, Detritus vs. the Dean

I mean...yes, the Dean is a wizard, he's got magic...but he's *the Dean*. Historically, not known for making good choices. I think Detritus could handle him.

--@theeldritchbat

Detritus may have his weaponry much closer to hand (and much more weaponizable hands), but the Dean fought his way to the upper echelons of UU and gets *distressingly* into mock-fighting (see: the Paintball Incident). I know that this fight is supposed to start friendly, but the Dean is going to escalate faster than Detritus, who is well aware that everyone who isn't him tends to squish.

--@the-damn-things-overlap

The Dean would take a bit picking the right spell and preparing it. So my first instinct is Detritus. But then again the Dean only got where he is and stayed there by being good at not getting got and being able to get others. However on second thought he is used to working against other flimsy old white men. So yeah no still Detritus.

--@violetren

Match 6, Granny vs. Susan

Their fight would consist of a staring contest and you can't change my mind. Susan would last a good long time but blink eventually because she has young, plump eyeballs. Granny will not blink, because she has fallen asleep with them open. Granny don't give a fuck.

--@purpledemoncat

Look Granny Weatherwax would probably win in like 98% of situations. But this particular situation feels like it'd be similar to taking her to the theatre and she'd just be vaguely annoyed and unsure what was going on. And Susan would find the whole situation inconvenient and stupid but would understand the assignment. So she'd just steamroll through just so it would be over. And if she did it quickly enough I think she'd get a technical win over Granny. However she would then have an unhappy and clued in Granny on her hands at the end of it. So like then she'd be in trouble. Anyways I voted Susan because sometimes it's fun to go for the perceived underdog. Honestly believe that who would win would be purely situational because they are both stone cold badasses.

--@violetren

Match 7, Nutt vs. Harry King

I didn't know where to go with this one. I feel like Harry King Makes Shit Happen (no joke intended) and Nutt needs a solid reason to make shit happen. Nutt might accidentally win, but Harry King would win on purpose.

--@theeldritchbat

Ok in a real fight Nutt would win. But in a play fight he'd be too nice to not lose you see.

--@handern

Match 8, Magrat vs. the Librarian

Both are capable of speakable violence (casual willingness to use Goodie Whemper(maysherestinpeace)'s Turn Your Bones Into Hot Lead spell vs get twisted apart) but I have a hard time imagining the Librarian convincing his opponent that he has agreed to nonviolence. The Librarian probably proposes some sort of game since he understands he isn't meant to do any twisting. But then you are in a Chess with Chewbacca scenario. You had better be too foolish to see why winning would be bad or have nerves of steel and ice in your veins. I say foolish but really I mean foolish and talented or foolish and lucky. You do still have to win after all. But the Librarian won't twist you apart if you beat him. The only trouble is convincing yourself of that. I don't think Magrat is built right for this challenge.

--@theensorceler-blog

I'm in two minds about this one. Either the Librarian would win outright bcause Magrat can't get mad enough to use her strengths, or he would win by simply not being present for the fight (per the rules, running away successfully constitutes a win, and I don't think Magrat can outrun an orangutan). Someone would say, "hey, you gotta fight this witch -indicates Magrat-, my...ape", and he'd say, "ook," and then shuffle off to eat bananas and read under his desk because who the fuck has time to fight witches when there are bananas and books, right?

--@theeldritchbat

And that's how this has to go. The Librarian has to win because it's funnier if Magrat gets her ass kicked by an orangutan. Like I love her but it would be so funny.

--@omicheese

Keep it up everybody, this is super fun so far! =D

#discworld fight club 2023 #discworld fight club round 1a

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

I posted 1,052 times in 2022

That's 538 more posts than 2021!

154 posts created (15%)

898 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tugboatdaddywolf

@ivyace

@hallandoates1970topresent

@ancientson

@taguelfright

I tagged 1,038 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#demetri alexopoulos - 546 posts

#eli moskowitz - 508 posts

#elimetri - 479 posts

#demetri cobra kai - 463 posts

#binary boyfriends - 461 posts

#hawk - 423 posts

#hawkmeat - 362 posts

#cobra kai - 154 posts

#allvalley100 - 148 posts

#miguel diaz - 141 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#eli is a fae because you simply cannot tell me that anyone who does their hair like that doesn't have fae energy like. at least a little bit

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Season 4, Episode 6: An Extremely Chaotic and Incoherent Review

My favorite episode!!! GET READY FOR HEAD FULL MANY THOUGHTS

The Good:

"Kicks Get Chicks" *is the gayest episode in the entire season* Kicks get DICKS more like

"Sure, we're good for the occasional inspirational moment, but we're not exactly center mat material" HA, love that this fucker is self aware

He knows he's the Comic Relief Guy and he embraces it fully

"He who shall not be named" absolutely LOVE how Demetri just fucking despises Robby now but is trying to be lowkey about it so as not to stir the pot

If he could I'm pretty sure Demetri would pummel this man six ways to Sunday

Once again reminding everyone that Robby paralyzed and nearly killed Demetri's best friend, betrayed his and Demetri's dojo, and then held down and forcefully shaved Demetri's other best friend

Yeah he wants to like...murder Robby at this point honestly

I can't blame him, either--if someone fucked over my bestie, my dojo, AND my crush??? I would indeed be out for blood, yes

The way Demetri looks CRUSHED when Daniel's like "I know you're missing your friends but we have to put the past behind us" :( :( :(

He just wants his boyfriend back god bless

Wow no wonder Tory's fucked up, with an aunt like THAT

GOOD LORD

This season is kinda making me love Tory, I'll admit

I never thought I'd see the day but here we are

SIAHDZUIYVDX JOHNNY TRAINING IN A PLACE WITH BLACK MOLD

Could this man BE any more delightfully unhinged

Johnny Lawrence's dojo marketing will never NOT be hysterical

"Smack-dab between the pipe supply and the burned-down Chuck E. Cheese" SIR

"I'm asexual" WELL at least we exist on television, right???

I guess this is the queer rep we get for Season 4, RIP

YOOOOO IT'S MY GIRL MOON

"I can't do the whole physical aggression thing" Remind me again why she and ELI FREAKING MOSKOWITZ are meant to be compatible at all??? Literally what even would they talk about??? Well REGARDLESS, can't help but admire her staunch determination to be a pacifist in a high school singlehandedly spearheading the local karate wars

"She's the best athlete in school and she's not afraid to get into a fight" Okay don't get me wrong, I'm still seething over Moon and Piper breaking up, BUT I do find it absolutely HYSTERICAL that Moon apparently has a type

Even funnier that Yasmine lowkey fits her type too, which is apparently mean, cocky bitches who don't take shit from anyone

Oh SHIT, Sam catching Amanda talking to Tory??? This boutta get JUICY

OKAY HERE WE GO HERE WE GO

BASEMENT SCENE LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO

See the full post

79 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

#4

Season 4, Episode 10: An Extremely Chaotic and Incoherent Review

The Good:

LISTEN

LISTEN

YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE THESE GUYS PULL OUT THE MOST APT STAR WARS PREQUEL MEMES OF ALL TIME

AND NOT THINK I'M GONNA SHIP THE SHIT OUT OF THEM

DID ELI REALLY JUST SAY DEM SHOULD PULL AN "IT'S OVER ANAKIN I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND" ON ROBBY

WITH A STRAIGHT FACE

I can't with this man

I can 100% not tell if these boys are memeing or actually taking karate advice from the Star Wars prequels but honestly??? I fucking love it either way

Dumbasses (affectionate)

ALSO the absolutely doe-eyed way Eli looks at Demetri when he says "you're taller!!" Yeah you like your men taller, don't you, short king?

Come to think of it Eli has been basically nonstop giving Demetri doe eyes all season

Maybe that's just what his face looks like?

Nah he's still kinda smug smirking at the beginning of the season

But he does become very apt at looking like a sad puppy

I swear this fucker still looks at Demetri like he hung the sun though

Ohhhhh Demetri just going RUTHLESSLY at Robby fills me with LIFE

Demetri Alexopoulos and Robby Keene mortal enemies WHEN

Still morbidly satisfying to see all that paralysis, shaving, and dojo-betraying beef explode out of my boy Demetri in one fell swoop

Oh shit!!! The head kick!!! The THROWDOWN!!! We are at last seeing a glimpsed of the unhinged Demetri I have craved for so long, keep being scary my love

DID HE JUST DO THE "COME AT ME BRO" HAND MOVEMENT

OH HE IS SO PISSED

Seeing this gay nerd be aggressive and intense as hell is ascending me into nirvana

He has found his inner craving for violence and destruction, and I think that's very valid of him

Truly he and Eli are kindred spirits in ways S1 Demetri never could have imagined

You gotta love some irony

He's gone from yeeting out of every bad situation to being like "this dude shaved off my boyfriend's gay-ass hairdo and now I'm going to beat him to kingdom come"

You know what that is? GROWTH

Poor Daniel though, he's like "Oh no :( :( :( My karate sons are fighting :( :( :("

See the full post

80 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

#3

Mr. LaRusso says anyone can be the hero, but I’m not Batman! I’m more like Alfred. You’re Batman!

***

Y’all thought I was gonna watch Season 4 and then NOT do a moodboard of The Basement Scene??? Preposterous. Completely absurd. Literally just gave me too many Vibes to work with for them not to be utilized.

Tried for more grayish/neutral colors for this one! Hopefully it’s not too boring ^^; I wanted to match the general energy of the scene, and both Demetri and Eli seem to be feeling kind of sad and empty here, SO.

Very happy I found a picture of “I love you” written in binary code ;_____;

Also, it has been said, but I’ll say it again: You have Demetri look at Eli like that, and...what??? Expect me to buy Demetri isn’t deeply in love with him??? To buy that Demetri Alexopoulos’s feelings for his best friend are nothing but platonic??? I respectfully disagree, and also, you are an idiot.

The top left pic is what should’ve happened after the basement scene XD

Pic credits available upon request!

82 notes - Posted January 24, 2022

#2

“They were expecting to find Miguel Diaz. What they weren’t expecting to find was love.”

Imagining of Season 5 in which Demetri and Eli go on a totally straight and totally heterosexual Dudebro road trip to Mexico to find their best friend. Unfortunately, when you’re trapped in a car with someone for hours on end, you might have to start confronting some feelings you wish weren’t there.

Well, everyone, I caved. I fucking caved. I said so many times that I wasn’t going to write CK fanfiction because GODDAMN if I don’t have too many WIPs in other fandoms, but like. The desire to write a homoerotic road trip fic was just too damn much.

I’ve never tried formally writing these two before, so I have no idea if it’s any good, but GOD did I try lol. Not much plot here, mostly just Vibes, gay tension, and missing and worrying about Best Boy Miguel!!! Also written partly out of spite because I’m just constantly seeing Miguel/Demetri friendship erasure in the fandom and it’s gotten me HEATED, so now I’m writing about Demetri going off to find Miguel in Mexico and internally monologuing about how worried he is and y’all just gonna have to deal with it. Fun fact: Miguel and Demetri love each other, and I will not hear otherwise under any circumstances :D

Also I can’t believe I’ve been in this fandom over a year and it took fucking writing this fic to realize Demetri has an extremely bad case of generalized anxiety disorder D: Like he worries about every all the time and honestly? Same

Uhhhhh CW for mentions of human trafficking, even if it’s done in jest (they’re teenage boys after all, this is the kinda thing teenage boys joke about lol) and some zesty...physical references, but the sauciest thing they do is make out because I’m asexual and do not wish to write smut XD

Fic is under the cut!!! Be warned, it is a 4k word longboi!!!

EDIT: There is now a sequel here as well!!!

***

“I cannot even begin to tell you how unsafe this is.”

“Uh huh. Go on.”

“I’m serious, Eli! We’re parked out in the middle of nowhere in a desert that never ends and the only signs of civilization are those cars going by on the highway at like 90 miles an hour. This is how people get kidnapped. And used for…I don’t know, human trafficking or something.”

Eli rolls over from where he lies next to Demetri on the car roof, scowling at him. “You think the traffickers are going to want you?”

Demetri scoffs, offended at the implication. “I’ll have you know I am a catch! The hottest girl in school thought so for a while.”

Eli breaks into a smirk. “Didn’t Yasmine like…use you as a beard, dude?”

“That’s not—she’s not—she didn’t—look, it doesn’t count if she didn’t know she was lesbian until after we got together!” Demetri splutters, gesturing vaguely as he attempts to arrive at a point.

“Wouldn’t that make it even worse?”

“Still speaks volumes to my suave disposition that she had no issue appearing to be dating me.”

“I’ll never understand it.” Eli turns away, gaze flicking back up to the stars.

“As I was saying.” Demetri stubbornly goes on. Someone has to knock some sense into Eli Moskowitz—access that logical coding brain he knows is in there somewhere. “Just because we’re a little ways off the main road doesn’t mean someone isn’t going to see us parked out in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. They could still come out here, break into the car, and do—well, whatever they want! It’s not like anyone would hear us yelling for help. We should have gotten a motel room.”

Eli snorts. “What, are we throwing hundred dollar bills around like we’re Terry Fucking Silver? It was hard enough mooching enough gas money off my mom. Besides, we know karate. If anyone comes after us, we could take them.”

Demetri rolls his eyes. “Right, my bad. I forgot I’m under the protection of the latest AVT champ.”

“Damn right.”

“I’m holding you to that, by the way. If we get kidnapped, and you can’t fend them off, I’m going to be really mad.”

“Completely understandable.”

A lull passes over the boys. For several moments, there’s no sound but desert wind, the hum of crickets and cicadas, and the sound of distant traffic. They had pulled off onto some dirt service road and driven for a while before they arrived and parked at what Eli decided was “the perfect sleeping spot.”

“I can’t believe you’re not tired,” Eli pipes up. “You’ve been driving like…all day.”

Demetri shrugs, car roof cool against his neck and shoulders. The sweltering daytime heat has long since faded from the metal.

“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t know when I’d get the chance to stargaze again. It’s kind of hard with all the light pollution. I remember we used to try on your trampoline, and whenever we’d get excited about a particularly bright one, it would turn out to be LAX’s newest outgoing flight.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot more going on out here. Might as well enjoy it.”

See the full post

175 notes - Posted January 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Binary Boyfriends S4 Fix-It Fics That I Need Immediately

WHAT UP BINARY BOYFRIENDS NATION, WHO’S READY TO WRITE SOME FIX-IT FIC???

Apologies in advance if any of these have already been done, but consider!!! I am always down to see more!!!

Psyche! Its turns out Yasmine and Demetri both are absolutely aware that they’re gay and are 100% faking a straight relationship to seem more cool and normal! The only reason they sell the horniness so well is because they’re both theatrical motherfuckers and wanna see how much they can overdramatically ham it up to fool the entire school into thinking they’re heterosexual

Demetri attempts to stand up for Hawk with Chris and Nate! Make no mistake, not because I think it would work, but because Demetri sometimes has 0 tact when he gets angry and I think the fallout would be very funny

Demetri and Hawk spar, but Hawk accidentally hits Demetri too hard!!! Angst ensues!!!

Demetri and Hawk spar, and they get all amped up on adrenaline and suddenly one is shoving the other against the dojo wall and making out with them!!! The entire dojo sees them and it’s very funny

Demetri jumps off the building!!! And brags about it to Hawk!!! Hawk looks at him with heart eyes because he’s a badass!!!

Alternatively, Demetri tries to jump and lands on the mattresses. He has to go to the hospital. Hawk visits him and switches between heaping on adoring praise for being so ballsy and yelling at Demetri for being so stupid and scaring the shit out of him.

Bonus points if Demetri literally only jumped to impress Hawk

Demetri and Hawk being utter and complete overprotective karate dads to Nate and Bert

Like remember how they both adopted them as their sons??? LET’S DO SOMETHING WITH THAT

Demetri dyeing Hawk’s hair in the bathtub and it’s very intimate and they keep aggressively tryna No Homo it

I think this may have already been done but I am literally always down to see it again

POV: You’re a Cobra Kai goon about to help the scary Keene kid shave off some dude’s gay-ass purple mohawk when there’s a crash and the most gangly, uncoordinated dweeb you’ve ever seen busts in through the tattoo shop window

You’re like “who’s this clown”

But “clown” as in horror movie clown specifically, because this interloper has a mildly to moderately unsettling look on his face

Cue the unsettling clown saying “Evening gentlemen :) :) :) Hope you’re not about to do something you regret to my pal Eli here :) :) :)” in a really quiet and calm tone of voice, which is. DEEPLY terrifying

*cue Demetri breaking into the world’s hugest and most horrifying slasher smile*

And he unleashes nine levels of hell on the Cobras, because he deserves to

Bonus points if he steals the razor and goes just a BIT slash-happy on them

Or strangles Kyler with the belt thing he was holding Eli down with

I just think Demetri should be allowed to completely fucking lose it and become the scariest motherfucker you’ve ever seen when someone messes with his boyfriend Eli Moskowitz

No really, just stop what you’re doing and imagine Demetri chasing Kyler through the tattoo parlor with a shaver Shining-style like “HEEEEERE’S ‘METRI!”

Like would that fuck or WHAT

On a related note, Demetri going full Slasher Movie Villain on the Cobras to get revenge after they shave the ‘hawk would also be acceptable

I think he should bring Miguel along too, I think that would be neat

Just a couple of best bros going to inflict unspeakable violence on the ne’er-do-wells who brutally violated their other best bro, don’t mind them

Demetri still gets to be more unhinged through

Because a) that’s his fucking boyfriend whose hair they’re avenging and b) Miguel has already gotten to be scary on many occasions!!! Let Demetri have a turn!!!

See the full post

181 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

...okay so not nearly as funny as last year's (where my 2nd most popular post was my dumb Scott Pilgrim shitpost) but I'm very pleased with my longest tag. It's very correct and absolutely hysterical.

Wild that I apparently posted more than I did at the height of my 2021 hyperfixation. I guess Season 4 and my frantic desire to ramble about everything will do that to ya.

AKAJSDIPVFOU LOOK AT CHAPTER 1 OF THE ROAD TRIP FIC MAKING IT INTO MY TOP 5 GOOD FOR HIM GOOD FOR HIM

(Obligatory reminder that all 6 chapters of the road trip fic are on my AO3 SummerPhlox if you want to read/comment there lol)

YO CONGRATS TO MY BLORBO DEMETRI ALEXOPOULOS FOR BEING MY #1 TAG OF 2022 I'M SO PROUD OF MY SON GOOD FOR HIM

And my other blorbo Miguel Diaz making the top 10 tags too, we love to see it <3

Happy almost-2-year-anniversary to this blog lmao what the fuck I thought I'd have a little mini baby hyperfixation on some nerdy karate gays and then I'd go about my business but irl plot twists are more wild than any movie I've ever seen because somehow I'm still fucking here

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #demetri alexopoulos #miguel diaz #binary boyfriends #eli moskowitz #elimetri #demetri cobra kai #hawk #hawkmeat #cobra kai #hawk x demetri #demetri x eli #demetri x hawk #eli x demetri #gonna go ahead and add all the Elimetri tags since they're like 90% of what I post about #and here's a collection of shitposts about them lol

[undiscovered-horizon]

REQUEST: Can you make a shang chi imagine for being Shaun's friend and telling him you have all the powers of Sun Wukong because you have his magic staff

Imagine being Shang-Chi's friend who keeps a small secret from him: you have the powers of Sun Wukong.

Being distracted during a fight was the last thing on Shang-Chi's mind: literally and figuratively. The unexpected situation, however, required him to.

Truthfully, anyone would have been distracted by a tall, muscular man flying across the room at an unnatural speed. The man crashed against the wall and landed on pieces of broken glass. Shang-Chi's confusion forced him to look away from his opponent and focus on an unknown figure in the background. From what he could see, the one responsible for such brute strength was a severely average, thin woman. To make the entire ordeal even funnier, he recognized the said silhouette.

"(Y/N)?" he asked in shock.

You simply grinned seeing his bewilderment.

"You're not the only one allowed to have secrets, Shang-Chi." He never told you his real name.

"There's too many of them!" Xialing's comment brought you two back to the current moment. She wasn't wrong: Wenwu's men seemed to flow into the room at a constant speed. The odds were everything but in your favor. From what you could see, you were outnumbered by 1:10 - less than a welcoming ratio. But it wasn't anything you couldn't deal with.

You tightened your grip on the antique, decorated staff you held. Turning it quickly in your hands, a swift and strong breeze started to gather around the room, stronger with each circular motion you did. The said controlled tornado swept the Ten Rings men off their feet and threw them out of the broken window. You were free, for now. It wasn't all troops Wenwu sent after you, it wasn't going to be a long time before another swarm traps you.

"We don't have much time," you said firmly, helping Katy to her feet. She stared at you the same way someone stares at a terrifying stranger.

"What the hell was that," Shaun wasn't going to let it go. Not that you expected anything else.

"Long version or short version?" you asked but did not plan on letting him answer. "The staff of Sun Wukong has been in my family for ages. Now I'm the Monkey King, as my father was before me."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Okay, Shaun, I don't think you're the one to talk," Katy cut him off.

"Look, guys, I'm sorry, really. We're friends and I betrayed your trust but I never thought it was something I would have to tell you. I didn't expect I would be given the artifact so soon too."

You could hear the echoing of quick steps coming from the hall. There was only one way through this situation: out. And quite literally at that.

"Hold on to me, it's going to be a long jump."

It was one of those moments Shaun and Katy could give each other a quick look and immediately know they were thinking the same thing: You were always the "cool" friend and somehow managed to become even better.

Author's note: This is pretty short as I didn't want it to be a cliche/awkward Hollywood reveal. I was ecstatic to incorporate actual Chinese folklore into a fic. Sun Wukong, a.k.a the Monkey King, is an important figure in Chinese folklore, mostly known through the national epopoeia "Journey to the West" in which he, a monk, a humanoid pig and a water demon embark on a journey to retrieve holy scriptures as a mean of redemption for their past sins. According to folklore, he was a trickster known to be super strong, could shapeshift into over 70 animals and objects, replicate himself, partially manipulate weather (among other things). There are various film adaptations of the novel which I recommend you little bears watch if you want to learn more about the Chinese classic! Also, there's a Monkey King video game coming out in 2023!!

#shang chi fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #imagine #marvel #xu shangqi #shang chi #shangqi imagine #shangqi fanfiction #shang chi and legend of 10 rings #shang chi x reader #shang chi and the legend of the ten rings #shang-chi x you #shang-chi x reader #shangchi x you #shang chi imagine #shang chi fanfic #shang chi scenario #shang chi oneshot #scenario #marvel fanfiction #marvel x reader #marvel x you #marvel fic #marvel fanfic #marvel scenario #marvel oneshot #shang-chi fanfiction #shang-chi fanfic #shang-chi fic

[pickalilywrites]

Hello I really love your stories and I'm requesting if you could make and fluffier and funnier version of the "ohayo pokko" scene I don't even know how structure this and the ship I'm basing on is pokkopikku,mAlthough I do hope you are not annoyed of me requesting this ship because I've noticed you've been doing a lot but just work your magic and don't be to hasty you can take your time

hello!!! Thank you for being so kind~ I wrote this over the weekend because it was such a nice, fluffy request. Thank you for asking for it ^^ I hope you like it a lot! have a good day 💕

Good Morning, Porco

PokkoPiku. Canonverse.

1039 words.

Read on Ao3!

Porco hears the door to his room creak, but he hardly stirs. He doesn’t even crack open an eye to check who it is. Whoever it is can wait anyway. It’s not every day that he gets a chance to sleep in and he’s going to take advantage of every second of it. If someone wants to wake him up, they’re going to have to drag him out of bed themselves because he doesn’t plan on budging.

Footsteps pad across the floor and stop by his bed. Someone calls out his name, but Porco’s still half-asleep and unable to register the person’s voice. He turns away from them, hoping that they’ll get the hint and leave. The person calls his name twice more, their voice a little louder each time, but Porco still doesn’t get out of bed. He simply growls in response. He thinks that they’re going to leave because he hears footsteps moving away, but he realizes too late that they’ve only gone to pull open the curtains.

Sunlight floods his room and Porco groans when the golden light hits his eyes. He opens his eyes enough to see a silhouette, but he quickly squeezes them shut to block out the sun. With another growl, he turns away and pulls the sheets over his head. Porco hears the person call his name again, but he refuses to get up.

“Go away,” he groans, and he hears a titter that’s vaguely familiar but he can’t quite place the owner. His brain can’t function this early in the morning.

Suddenly, the bed dips around him, and a hand tugs the blanket until it's under his chin. Porco can feel something tickling his ear. Someone’s breath caresses his cheeks. It makes him grimace, and he turns his head slightly to address whoever is trying to disturb his sleep.

Porco cracks open his eye and realizes that the sunlight is almost completely blocked by a curtain of black surrounding his head. All he can see in front of him right now is a set of mischievous brown eyes.

“Ohayō, Porco,” Pieck says cheerfully.

It surprises Porco enough to make him lift his head in alarm, forgetting that Pieck is caging him in with her body. Their heads crash together and Porco can feel the bump forming on his forehead already. The collision is enough to make Pieck collapse on top of Porco in surprise, her full weight on him now.

Porco is too tired to be angry. He only has enough energy to be mildly annoyed. With a clumsy hand, he reaches out to gently pat the swell growing on Pieck’s forehead. “Pieck, what the fuck?” he groans. He splutters trying to get Pieck’s hair out of his mouth. “What were you doing?”

Pieck says something, but it’s difficult to hear when her face is pressed against Porco’s chest.

With a sigh, Porco lifts her chin. She smiles at him, but he awaits her answer with a raised eyebrow.

“I thought it would be nice for me to wake you up for a change,” she says, brushing her hair out of her face with one hand. When Porco lets his hand fall from her chin, she rests her head on his chest. Her chin digs into Porco’s ribcage, but he doesn’t complain. “I guess it’s rather early though.”

“It’s too early,” Porco groans, but he doesn’t mean it. Now that he’s more awake, the sunlight streaming in from the window isn’t as blinding as it was a few minutes ago. It’s actually kind of pleasant to have natural light warming his room so early in the morning, and Pieck’s presence is always more than welcome. He keeps his eyes closed as he pats her head. “And what’s so pressing that I have to be awake this early in the morning?”

“Hmm,” Pieck hums. She turns her head so that her cheek rests on Porco’s chest. “Zeke wanted to go over some military strategies with us this morning.”

Porco rubs at his eye lazily, trying to get the sleep out. “I thought we’ve already gone through them before,” he mumbles. “Hundreds of times, actually. Why do we need to go through them again?”

“To appease the Marleyan officers,” Pieck says. She plays with his shirt, rubbing the fabric of his collar between her thumb and forefinger. “I’m sure it’s nothing too in-depth. If you sleep with your eyes open during the meeting, I’m sure nobody will even notice. Just try not to snore.”

Porco tries to shift to a more comfortable position, but it’s difficult to do with another person on top of him. He yawns instead, not bothering to cover his mouth. He tries not to think about the military strategy meeting that will no doubt take place soon. He’s never been very good at paying attention in those meetings. It’s always the same to him, perhaps small details changing here and there, but always the same men droning on and on about strategy and methods of minimizing collateral damage while maximizing destruction to enemy troops. Just thinking about it is making Porco’s eyelids droop and he can feel himself already nodding off to sleep again.

There’s a light tapping on his chest. The fingers travel from his chest to his neck to his chin. Pieck holds him there between her thumb and index finger. Through the crack of his eyelids, he can see her watching him with an amused expression. “Are you falling asleep again already?”

“It’s too early,” Porco mumbles, shutting his eyes once more. He wraps his arms around Pieck and holds her closer. He can hear her laughter muffled by the fabric of his shirt, her breath warming his chest.

“Do you need more help waking up?” Pieck asks. Even with his eyes closed, Porco can tell that her lips are curled up in a playful smile.

“Maybe,” he murmurs, and he feels her hands press against his chest.

Pieck leans forward, her hair falling from behind her ear to tickle his cheek, and presses a kiss — warm, tender, sweet — against Porco’s lips. When her lips leave his, Porco opens his eyes, finally awake now, and smiles. With a hand tenderly placed on the back of Pieck’s neck, Porco draws her close to kiss her again.

#gabisnk #snk #canonverse #gallipieck #pokkopiku #pokkopikku #asks #answered #requests #pieck finger #porco galliard

[recurring-polynya]

I have to say I knew that at one point renji, ikkaku, yumichika and iba were in the same squad with kenpachi but good god you managed to paint a beautiful picture for me. I simply assumed that for them it was simply party time all the time along with a few bald jokes but this is much better. Emotionally healthy squad 11 which still love fighting more than anything. I always cringed when someone would just describe them as hooligans that do nothing but fighting. I mean they do that too but I love the idea that they are all emotionally healthy and mature, a loving and supportive family to their own - in their own wakka doodoo kind of way thats endearing - and of course they are in my opinion they single capable force against sexisim. Because they don't care about anything else - gendere, sexuality, gender performances, race, mentality or anything - other than if you fight good you respectable and if you fight good in squad 11 you family. ( like when kenpachi just became captain he made yachiru his lieutenant and no one was against it no one thought it was beneath them, sure thru nag at her sometimes but that's mostly in a banter like way because she call them stupid nicknames but no one hates her for being unrightfully their superior. One day they got a new captain and a new lieutenant that's a child and they just went with it.) I admit their disdain and disrespect to squad 4 is still frowned upon but I do believe some squad 4s can handle their own, it's just that we saw the really peaceful ones. Anyways sorry for ranting. Just wanted to say that yeah, I really like how the past squad 11 with iba and renji in it was a great place in general. I think if they found out some one was being sexist - for whatever reason - they would be there right next to nanao - or iba's mom protesting. Kenpachi and yachiru as well. And that makes me want to be squad 11 ,despite not being much for fighting, so bad.

So, for starters, thanks! I try to have fun whenever I write Squad 11, and I’m glad you enjoy my take on them.

My Squad 11 is just... really not very canon, though. Canon Squad 11 is actually pretty gross and sexist. Yumichika is transphobic, Kenpachi makes homophobic remarks about Yumichika, they bully Squad 4, there’s a filler episode devoted to a guy that Ikkaku bullied for, like 100 years because the guy lost his reiatsu saving Ikkaku’s dumb ass.

When you write fanfic, you occasionally run into these more problematic aspects of the source media, and you can choose to dig in and analyze them, or just... remake them in your own way. Take for example, Gin. If you read fanfic about Gin, there are some people who will peel away the layers of him and his fears and insecurities and still make him be a horrible gremlin, and it’s really stellar writing. Other people prefer to write him in an AU where maybe less bad stuff happened to him, and he’s more mischievous than sociopathic, and this is a less meaty interpretation, but it’s also more fun. Sometimes fanfic is a meal and sometimes it’s candy. It fulfills different needs and different fantasies and all of it is welcome.

Yumichika, who for me is the fulcrum of Squad 11, presents this problem. I really don’t like the way his “appreciation for beauty” plays out in canon. He doesn’t actually appreciate beauty, he just likes telling other people they’re ugly. I don’t think he’s ever pointed out beauty in anyone else aside from himself or his zanpakutou. I remember the first time I watched his fight with Charlotte and it struck me as so off -- why wouldn’t he find her beautiful? I mean, I know it’s a transmysogynistic joke, that’s why, men dressed as women is funny, hurr hurr, but Yumichika is gender nonconforming himself. This was an opportunity to make a cool character point, and Kubo took the cheap laughs road instead. Going back to what I said last paragraph, a skilled writer could, in theory, write about his insecurities and his brittleness and meanness and write a pretty compelling story, but a) Kubo certainly doesn’t, and I have never actually found a Yumichika-centric fanfic of this nature, and b) this doesn’t fit the role I need him to play in my stories. I am rarely really interested in writing about Squad 11 for its own sake. I like to write them as a backdrop for the period of Renji’s afterlife where he hit absolute rock bottom and bounced back up again. We already know the role Ikkaku played in this, except that Ikkaku is a complete moron in terms of mental health, and I really, really felt like this is where Yumichika needed to come in.

I like to massage Yumichika’s character a bit, but I do want to keep the flavor of some of his character flaws-- he’s still shallow and mean and judgy, and I love that for him, but I like to add in a positive side to his appreciation for beauty. Having Yumichika make fun of Izuru’s pores is funny but it’s even funnier if he’s just given Renji a compliment on his hair first. The idea that a Yumichika compliment is attainable makes all his drags the more vicious. Yumichika also judged people by their beauty instead of their moral character, which is humorous to me. He dislikes Byakuya as a person, but is obsessed with his haircare regime. I like to have him treat Rangiku as an equal, beauty-wise, and a person whose opinion he respects based on her aesthetic. Rangiku is actually a pretty savvy and very emotionally intelligent person whom many people write off because she likes to present herself as a lazy airhead, so in an extremely convoluted way, this all works out. I like to think that Yumichika’s ideas of beauty are also caught up in boldness and risk-taking and having one’s outward presentation ring true to their inner self. To me, this is the core of why he loves Ikkaku. To him, Ikkaku’s devotion to doing the most Ikkaku thing at all times, no matter how stupid, is irresistibly sexy. 

Aside: At some point, I decided that the fact that a lot of people in Bleach have colorful marks on their faces and elaborate hairstyle and accessory games implied that make-up in Soul Society is gender neutral. I like to think there is actually more of a divide between the nobility, who like their make-up to follow rules and be classy, and, well, Squad 11, who like to get make-up ideas from Jem and the Holograms. I don’t even wear makeup (I don’t know how and it’s expensive and I am ashamed of myself, we can talk about my own gender presentation later) but I like to write about both my male and female characters wearing make-up. I don’t actually know how my readers feel about it, but it just falls under the “Is that what people want?”/“It’s what we do” philosophy of all my writing.

I think one of the theses of my writing is that middle management is more important to the character of a squad than the person at the top. Captains sort of act as ideals to strive for, but they are generally unapproachable for one reason or another. Yachiru is more like her captain in this respect (which makes sense, since she is, in fact part of her captain). Ikkaku and Yumichika present this dual idea that 1) strength is awesome, fighting and being the best is awesome, and 2) part of strength is presenting yourself to the world in a bold and confrontational way. (The fact that both of them are hiding huge parts of themselves is laughably ironic). Kenpachi and Yachiru are shining examples of Do Whatever You Want and Be So Strong That No One Can Stop You. 

What really makes this work is that you need someone one layer down-- does anyone actually subscribe to this nonsense, and that’s why Iba - Abarai Squad 11 is Best Squad 11. I really, really enjoy the genre of Reddit posts where a total bro will find out that his girlfriend is trans and react by becoming a vehement advocate for trans rights. I love the bodybuilders typing encouragement to each other meme. Our world is flooded with disingenuous messages from concern trolls trying to tell us why being kind and inclusive to one another is bad or that you should reject help because struggle makes you stronger and the idea of a Himbo looking at something like that and saying “that seems dumb" is delightful to me.

I actually feel like there are a lot of awful people with bad ideas in Squad 11, it’s just that Renji and Iba don’t put up with their shit, and over time, that becomes the culture of Squad 11. I think that Squad 11 has incredibly turnover, but the ones who stay are the ones who subscribe to the ideas you mentioned-- fighting is what matters, if you wanna go argue about shit, go join Squad 5. In the IkkaYumi story I wrote, which happens shortly after Zaraki takes over, a ton of people leave. The Bount Arc (which I know a lot of people skipped) features a dude who was extremely pissed off because he had liked the old Kenpachi and thought Zaraki sucked and was so mad about it that he betrayed Soul Society. You might think that this arc would feature Zaraki caring about this in some way shape or form, but he really didn’t. So, I think there are a lot of Soul Reapers that took issue with serving under a little girl as a vice captain, they just aren’t in Squad 11 anymore.

Oh, one last note on Iba’s mom. I am of an age where a number of my friends have mothers who were Second Wave Feminists. The moms in question are a real mixed bag, because they Came From a Different Time, and on one hand, you have to respect what they went through, and on the other hand, they are very difficult to get along with. I liked the idea that Iba has always chafed against his mom and her big personality, and then Renji comes in, and is like, “hey, your mom is strong as hell and she has a lot of ideas that I never thought of but they make sense” and Iba realizes that, even though she’s still a huge pain in his ass, his mom is the person who made him who he is. Moms are complex.

Uhhhh, I have definitely lost the thread of wherever I was going with this post. Thank you for enjoying my Squad 11, which is nothing like canon Squad 11. Hopefully maybe this year, I will actually finish my Squad 11 Self Care story, where Renji stops being a drunk disaster person after Yumichika teaches him how to fill his brows; I got stuck on a part where Rangiku gives Renji a talk on ethical sluttery.

#squad 11 #sometimes i look at Things I Have Wrought and pull a full Talking Heads style 'how did i get here?' #my squad 11 stuff is my absolutely weirdest most bonkers writing #i am glad people seem to like it #just trying to find some meaning in this hot mess #i think i blame The Toast

[thegothicviking]

I was tagged by @reeshs @ofmemesandbands to do a little "get to know me ask thingy". Thank you for that, you beauties! 🖤 Excuse my long answers but I think you'd be entertained anyway! (I hope?)

Nickname: Mary Cemetery, Mary, or simply Viking/The Viking.

Real name: That will remain a mystery/a secret but I can reveal that it begins with M. (But it's not Mary or Mari or anything similar) and I do have the word "Viking" in one of my last names (I have two surnames because my parents were not married and wanted me and my big sis to have both of their family names. So yes! A little part of my name is Viking-[something]from my mother's maiden name/original family name. Meaning YES I am indeed Viking!

Zodiac: Taurus/Tyren/El Toro

Favorite musicians or bands:

- The Bauhaus (or Peter Murphy as solo)

- The Sisters of Mercy

- Lords of The New Church (or Stiv Bators as solo)

- Feeling B & Magdalene Keibel Combo (Flake and Paul are my bois!)

- Rammstein (also nice bois!)

- David Bowie (Rest in peace my sweet boi!)

- Dissection (Rest in Chaos Jon, even though you were a homophobic lunatic/Asshole I still liked your music. Swedish Satanic Black Metal)

- A lot of deathmetal

- Skeletal Family (many 80's goth rock bands really)

-Nachtmahr

- Eisbrecher

- Stahlmann

-Deine Lakaien

- Scorpions

- Depeche Mode (anything from the 1980's really)

- Classical compositioners like Edvard Grieg/Beethoven/Bach and a little bit of Mozart or Vivaldi

- KSMB. Swedish punk rock/German punk rock or Swedish metal (yes...I am a Norwegian that prefers SWEDISH Black Metal. Shoot me if you must!)

- Rosetta Stone

- Pretencious Moi? (Their lyrics are like an unfinished story and you can fill the gaps!)

- KNORKATOR (absolute insane and silly bois, I love them!!)

- Rozz Williams (Rest in Peace my sweet beautiful boi!),

- INXS (Rest in Peace M. Hutchence my beautiful boi!)

- Die Ärzte

- Skitarg (like a Swedish ICP but of course a lot better and with funnier lyrics!)

- Danzig

Favorire Sports team: Team Bisexual! 💜

Other Blogs: Not yet. I still need to learn how to add other blogs and then I will do one specifically about my Liebeslied Rammstein fic series and the character's. And maybe also my poetry in there too. Or maybe not.

Do I get asks?: Sometimes. Mostly I get questions about being Norwegian/Scandinavian or someone make rude Anon comments about one of my posts and I have to defend myself and my opinions. But a part from that; No. Not that many.

How many blogs do I follow?: 132

Tumblr crushes: Yes.

Lucky Numbers: 13 (After I won a non-smoking contest in class and my name was number 13 on the class list) I have also always liked the numbers 8 and 0. I prefer even numbers.

What am I wearing?: Comfy plain black suit/tracksuit looking pants that are both stylish and comfy AND has pockets!!, and my black long sleeve Feeling B jumper, no socks and no bra and black hotpants (knickers. I hate wearing thongs/g strings!)

Dream Vacation: I long to go back to Prague, and I want to visit Egypt and the Pyramids, Berlin (because we only got to stay in the city for a couple of hours..ugh!) I also long back to Auschwitz....(yes. I do. I was there in 2007/2008. I am a WWII history nerd!)

Dream car: Either a very old school and dashing Ford Model T, a hearse or a big brutal Panzer Tank. There is no in between!

Favorite Food: Anything that doesn't contain too much garlic (Iiiish!), raisins, Olives, Pineapples (NO PINEAPPLES ON PIZZAAAAAA!), coconuts or too much spices/chili/Soy (I am allergic to Soy) And don't worry you can feed me Vegetarian/Vegan food too! I won't try to bring my own meat and I will trust your cooking skills as long as you don't feed me any of the ingredients above!!

Drink of choice: That depends on the situation/disaster/time of the day and mood. Is it a good day? Then Water, Corona (the beer not the virus!!) or Energy drinks. Is it morning? A good Landersino (weak capuccino but strong milk coffee) Is it Evening/night time? Then a nice cup of tea. Has it been a terrible day? Then Gin & Tonic, Vodka & Redbull, A really strong Long Island Ice Tea or Rum & Coke.

Instruments: The horrible cat shriek sounding Recorder Flute. That is the only instrument that I am rocking at the moment! (I will play the Titanic song for you if I truly love you!)

Languages: Norwegian Nynorsk, Norwegian Bokmål, my dialect, English, Swedish (Gothenburg dialect or Scaania/Malmö dialect), Spanish and I am also trying to learn German and Welsh (yes. Welsh. It is beautiful but impossible to learn!)

Celebrity Crushes: David Bowie (rest in peace sweet alienboi!) Stoya (female pornstar), Till Lindemann, Noomi Rapace (Swedish Actress), Michael Nyqvist (Swedish Actor. Rest in Peace my sweet boi!), young Kate Bush, Antonio Banderas, John Maclean (discovered this divine creature on Youtube recently!), Rozz Williams (Rest in Peace my sweet boi!), Peter Murphy, Emilie Autumn (but I don't listen to her that often anymore), Adora Batbrat (Gothic Youtuber but I am not that fan of her anymore), Razor Candi (Gothic Model but she has gotten some more surgeries now that I don't like), Salma Hayek, Shakira.

Random Fact(s):

A little gross but I have basically no nails on either of my pinky-toes. I was born that way and I am the 5th generation woman on my mother's side that doesn't have pinky toe nails! (I miss the upper part so trying to cut them is always a game of Russian Roulette...will I be able to cut it? Will I cut my skin, bleed and die?? I'll have to cut and see because the tiny little stump/piece of nail is still jabbing me if it gets "too long" :)! )

I was also born with a more inward bent spine/back and I was told by my Chiropracter (or how you spell it?) at the age of 10 that if I didn't do exercises/wore a corset..(at the age of 10!?!?) for my back then it would break/snap should I ever want to get pregnant (even though I always look pregnant when I relax and walk "normally".....*sigh*). So yeah I need to work up my core! (But I am too lazy to do so ...)

I know how to belly dance (not that many moves but I'm still learning from online classes)

I can write and read in the Elder Futhark runes without cheating!

I am a natural cold blooded bitch with a normal temperature of 36.4 °C, instead of the standard 37.5°C. (Once again this is from my mother's side)

I did amateur acting from the age of 6-19 and in 10 out of those 13 years/plays I had to be a boi/man because we were always in short of bois and I have a deep voice I guess.. (so yeah for 10 years of my childhood I was basically a boi/man!)

Despite enjoy dressing up in skirts and dresses and do my makeup I have a very butch/masculine personality (I was a tomboy as a kid) and both men and women are either terrified or confused by this (as they expect me to be just as feminine as my looks/makeup. Which is silly!)

I am sadistic (in my writing and in my thoughts) and one of the reasons why I write is to be able to TORTURE and/or KILL "people" without getting arrested :)

Ok so I am not gonna tag anyone in particular. If you would like to answer these questions then go right ahead and do so!

Uki. Takk! Det var/va alt! (Ok. Thanks! That was all!)

#the viking finally answers #the viking gets tagged #sorry for the delay my beauties!