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parameddic · 3 months

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"They don't know you're awake yet. Stay down." (Clint)

im having such fun with memes right now, send me some!!!

What?

Clint's hand was heavy on TK's shoulder, a warning to stay put, and for that reason alone TK did as he was asked, terrible at faking it (his brows drew a little, a fractional pull that was not the face of a relaxed, sleeping human) but at least trying. Who were 'they'? Why was them not knowing something they were taking advantage of? The ground beneath him felt wet. Dirt, not concrete or proper flooring. He was cold all over, which surprised him, 'cause he'd been out like a light just a second ago and he usually couldn't sleep in the cold.

A consequence of TK lying in this position was that his neck was stretched out, throat vulnerable to the sky. He swallowed, once, and felt the way it bobbed in his throat.

The light behind his eyelids changed. Brighter than it had been before, with the swing of a door, then.. metal scraping? Like someone fumbling with a metallic doorjam, before another change in the light. The room - the air - felt suddenly fresh; suddenly open, or more open than it had been a second ago. The noise quality changed. Maybe he was making that up. Clint's hand left his shoulder.

Asleep asleep asleep. TK fought to relax his face, even his breathing. Don't move.

"Aw, Prince Charming's still asleep," someone said - gruff voice. Male. Pressure appeared on his cheek, the one turned up to the sky, the texture of hard rubber: the man turned TK's head with the bottom of his shoe. TK forced himself to let his head flop to the side. No reaction, peacefully unaware. Clint was not touching him anymore. Why?

Where had he gone? Or was he not meant to be able to touch him at all? Was he deliberately not, trying not to draw attention to him? Why not? Where was he?

The smell of alcohol. TK was still forcing his breaths steady and he realised, now, that the man who had stepped on him now was crouched beside him, getting a good look at him in the light. Not awake not awake not awake. Clint was gonna give him a GOOD explanation after this.

The man's fingers laid ever-so-gently across the skin of his neck, and tap-tap-tapped against his jugular.

His heartbeat was too fast. breathing aside, his heartbeat was giving him away, the rapid, scared, butterfly heartbeat that thrummed desperate in his throat. Sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep.

"Or is he?" said the man.

Shit.

TK swallowed, involuntary, because of the way these fingers stroked his throat.

The man's grip changed in an instant: no longer just touching him, but now pressing down. Hard.

#ic #throttling tw #strangulation tw #normaltothemax #tk definitely got himself involved where he should not have got himself involved #clint iiiiiis probably trying to protect him? or trying to play them for time? or #...... i have very genuinely not planned any of this and i don't want to make you do all the thinking about how and why this is where they #are but i don't have any hows or whys i just have 'they are there rn'#and we can figure out the why later #dkjflskjksj idk #hands this to you. love you #come save tk pls he can't breathe

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jtl-fics · 1 year

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Fluent Freshman - Part 24

“What do you MEAN Smithy is in the hospital with a stab wound to his stomach?!” Nicky’s own voice is agony for his hangover but honestly, how the fuck else was he supposed to respond when he had asked Andrew where FF was and gotten that as a response.

“Calm down.” Andrew says and he looks tired, looks stressed, and maybe even just…a touch nervous?

Nicky isn’t as good as Neil at reading Andrew Minyard. He doesn’t think anyone will ever be as fluent in the language of Andrew Minyard as Neil Josten but Nicky has picked up some key phrases.

He can see when he’s making a joke that is a step too far. He can see when his cousin wants to kiss Neil but is holding back. He can see when his cousin is stressed.

He can see a guilty curve to Andrew’s spine.

“Andrew, answer me honestly, did you stab my sweet baby freshman?” Nicky asks and he’s not sure if the nausea he feels anymore is from horror or from the sheer number of drinks he had put in his system the night before.

Roland usually cuts him off before he gets this level.

Roland also has a habit of pouring heavier when he’s stressed.

Roland also also tends to make complicated fruity drinks that Nicky likes when he’s stressed.

Andrew’s jaw tenses but it’s Neil who speaks up, “It was an accident. It happened during a fight.” Neil says and Nicky throws his hands up in the air.

“You got into a FIGHT with my sweet baby freshman? Sweet little Smithy? The boy who made brownies that made me feel kinda straight for a dead woman?!” Nicky exclaims and sees Andrew and Neil open their mouths to say something but, “I promised him that if he wanted I’d get him something hard that’d mess his GUTS up but this isn’t what I MEANT.” He lets himself collapse dramatically over the table.

“Nicky, shut up!” Kevin hisses from his spot on the couch.

“When the fuck did Kevin get here?!” Because seriously, how fucked up was Nicky last night that he doesn’t remember Kevin coming on this Columbia trip? Where’d he sit? He couldn’t really remember coming over after Thanksgiving. Had Andrew put Kevin in the trunk? Had Andrew put Nicky in the trunk?

“He came with Wymack.” Neil cut in before Nicky started testing reality. “Wymack is at the hospital since he’s…uh…he’s the…”

“Medical Power of Attorney” Andrew answers.

“Yes! Thank you, the Medical power of attorney for Smith. He needed surgery and Wymack wanted to be nearby in case he had to make any pressing decisions.” Neil explains and yeah that tracks, he knows a little bit about FF’s family and knows that aside from his grandma on his dad’s side the rest can go take a long walk off a short volcano observation platform

“Okay, that explains why Kevin is here….how?! Despite all of the unwarranted advice, Kevin is not a medical professional.” Nicky says before turning to Kevin, “So Kevin, what insane Exy-related reason are you here? Don’t lie and say it’s because you want to sign the get well soon card.” He hisses.

“Fuck you!” Kevin spits, “I need to know how long Smiths is going to be out of commission and what his PT is going to look like. He was supposed to be starting during the spring season.” Kevin growls.

“There it is!” Nicky throws up his hands.

“Nicky, just calm down!” Neil pleads.

“How can I stay calm? Andrew stabbed Smithy! So not only is my favorite freshman in the hospital Andrew’s going to end up back on those god forsaken meds again!” Nicky shouts and buries his face in his hands.

“Smith isn’t going to say that.” Andrew’s voice is calm but Nicky can hear the slight edge.

“Oh yeah?” Nicky asks because he could see FF promising to never mention who stabbed him if Andrew would just spare his life. FF was going to be even MORE of a disaster when it came to his anxiety around Andrew. Nicky wouldn’t be surprised if his friend just straight up dropped out after this. His cousin is safe but he’s absolutely going to lose his friend.

“Because he’s saying Romero Malcolm stabbed him.” Andrew finishes.

Nicky sits up.

“Wait, what?” Nicky asks.

“Last night Romero Malcolm was at Eden’s.” Neil says voice even in a way that lets Nicky know that he’s trying to stay calm, “Smith recognized him, heard he wanted to grab,” Neil swallows thickly, “…grab one of my friends and saw them looking at…” Neil trails off and looks to Andrew who shakes his head, “…around for someone to grab.” Neil seems to decide and Nicky knows when something is being hidden from him but he’s more interested in the story than what Neil is hiding at the moment, “He got Romero’s attention so that he wouldn’t do anything bad in Eden’s and let Roland know to call help. He went out alone into the alley but Romero didn’t follow him.” Neil explains.

“Oh thank god.” Nicky sighs.

“Because he’d alerted Jackson Plank was lying in wait to ambush him.” Neil continues.

“Oh dear god.” Nicky exclaims.

“He uh…” Neil looks to Andrew who shakes his head again, “okay we don’t know exactly HOW Smith managed to do it but he beat Jackson up pretty bad.” Neil explains.

Nicky feels his brain stop working.

He has watched FF trip over his own feet, walk into four different trees, and almost sprain his ankle walking across a flat surface. He knows FF has been watching self-defense videos and had even gotten some pointers from Matt but even Matt had told him his better bet was probably just to yell “WOW WHAT’S THAT OVER THERE?!”, point behind the attacker, and run as fast as humanly possible away from a fight.

Neil is still talking.

Nicky boots back up quickly.

“…a gun. He tackled Romero into Andrew and Andrew’s knife ended up in Smith’s stomach on accident while they were wrestling for the gun. Smith is the one who said he’s going to tell everyone who asks that it was Romero. He even said it to me.” Neil says with an awkward laugh.

“And you believed him.” Andrew says and there’s warmth in his cousin’s eyes as he looks at Neil and teases him.

“And I believed him.” Neil confirms.

“Okay, so you swear to me that you did not INTENTIONALLY stab my BFF?” Nicky asks looking at Andrew seriously.

“BFF, seriously?” Kevin asks.

“Best Freshman Friend.” Nicky answers quickly, “Don’t worry Kevin, you lose out to Matt in all regards for my Best Senior Friend.” He says.

Kevin just flips him off but Nicky turns his attention back to Andrew, “Andrew, I need to hear it.” He says .

“I did not intentionally stab Smith.” Andrew confirms.

Nicky lets the horrified nausea leave him with only his hangover nausea.

“Okay, we can work with that.” Nicky leans back. “Have you heard from that Agent?” he asks looking at Neil.

Neil nods but then looks nervous and shoots a look towards Kevin, “The FBI is sending Browning and a field office agent to talk with us but…Ichirou also contacted me.” He says and Nicky watches as Kevin perks up.

“He did?!” Kevin squawks looking around like he expected the head of the Moriyama family to appear from the shadows.

“He wants to make sure we do our part to keep the Moriyama name out of this. He is going to deal with Romero and Jackson himself.” Neil says looking nervous.

Nicky clenches his eyes shut, “Well you’re not going to mention them right?” he hears Kevin ask.

“Of course not Kevin.” Nicky hears Andrew hiss.

“Good.” Kevin says.

There’s silence in the wake of Neil’s statement.

Nicky takes a deep breath and wishes his head was a little less agonizing. “Why aren’t we at the hospital to see Smithy?” he asks because he has nothing he can do about Ichirou so he may as well put it out of his mind.

There is some grumbling.

“Wymack said that he’ll just make us sit in the waiting room without any updates.” Neil says. “We’re picking up Smith’s grandma from the airport and she’s our ticket to getting an actual update beyond ‘not dead yet’ from Wymack.” He adds.

“What, you really can’t get updates without Wymack?” Nicky asks.

Andrew looks at Nicky and Nicky can’t read a single thing his cousin is thinking.

“What’s Smith’s first name Nicky.” Andrew asks.

“Oh God fucking Dammit.” Nicky’s head hurts too bad for this.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings

@blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten @satanic-foxhole-court @vexingcosmos @chalilodimun @insectsgetcooked @angry-kid-with-no-money @queer-crows @lillyndra @themundanemudperson @readertodeath @apileofpillows @mortalsbowbeforeme @hellomynameismoo @next-level-mess @youreonlylow @interstellarfig @notprocrastinatingatalltoday @percyjacksonfan3 @queenofcrazy27 @bsmr261 @ghostlyscares @spencellio @adinthedarkroom @harpymoth @sufferingjustalilbit @anxietymoss @oddgreyhound @ohno-myhyperfixation-itsbroken @ken22789 @atiredvampire @isoldescorner @not--a--pipedream @azure-wing @bushbees @roonilwazlib-main @crumplelush @foldedaces-paperbirds @thesenseinnonsense @let-tyrants-fear @ketchupandfries @legowerewolf @deadlydodos @but-we-respect-his-craft @cariniqe @zanypersonapricotbiscuit @lesbian-blackbeard @lesbiansupernatural @silvermasquerade @thepeachfuzz @minniemariex @kazoo-the-demjin @gaypomegranate @ji-nk-ies @neilimfinejosten @omgrubelangel @itsyouitsmeorpheuseurydice @percabethotplove @cozyrosykay @foxyatlas

The requests to be added to the tag list keep being spread out across a few different areas. If I missed you please just ask again in the replies I promise I just missed you.

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

#Fluent Freshman AU #I'm almost positive the next chapter will involve Grandma Smith actually #like 90%#Maybe even 95%#Aaron walks out 10 minutes later #Aaron: I feel like someone is stabbing me in the stomach #Nicky: You and Smithy both!#Aaron: ?????????#Neil: I think that it is too soon to make that joke #Andrew: At least give it 24 hours Nicky #Andrew: He might still be in surgery for all we know #Aaron: !!!!!??????#Kevin: I've been researching and it could be 4-6 weeks before Smith can be back on the Court.#Kevin: At least he'll only really miss 2 fall season games and he should be healed up by the time we start the spring season games #Aaron: What the FUCK happened and why is KEVIN here?#Andrew: We're not explaining it again figure it out yourself #GS is in the air right now #She's got a middle seat because it was a last minute booking #But the young man next to her is a real sweetheart #He speaks polish! what a small world #AFTG #AFTG OC #AFTG AU #My Fics #Andreil #Fluent Freshman - Part 24

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beeduoo · 27 days

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originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins

#origins smp #i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals WHAT EVEN HAPPENED i was only there for the first one😅#beeduo #otubbo #oranboo #beeduo fanart #i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY #DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM #IR WAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE and they were being really Funny thay shit h #ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its #been wayyyyyyy too long #BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise #bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹#had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop #yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭#ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really #wanted to share ok i love you bge #WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED #RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like #water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT #ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I #VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB #OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be #Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON #SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub #lic had to say.... ok Now bye

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sunmoontruth-stiles · 2 months

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I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.

#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her #and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura #he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life #deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was #he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means.#when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial.#the best he can do at least #he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times.#often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship #but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost.#22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way #Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless #he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it #she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes.#he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone #he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home.#can’t bare to see another shell of a home #he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes #Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon #but promises feel costly these days #he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura #someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here #his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long.#Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place.#clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them #but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here #he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention #he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves.#he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods #he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.

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subbyvirgo · 4 months

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Tax season don’t mean anything if you don’t have any dependents.. good lord🤦🏽‍♀️🙃..

#gotta go half on a baby #tax season #austin texas #black beauty #subby bunny #subbyvirgo #black tumblr #bd/sm brat #bd/sm kink #black women #black girl aesthetic #black girls of tumblr #depressing shit #why can’t I claim my cat?!?#2under2 #twins?#we can figure out a visitation schedule later

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daz4i · 8 months

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actually i refuse to believe dazai was in on the fake vampire plan from the start. the whole "that's a dirty card to play" scene is so weird if that's the case. like who are you putting this charade on for. sigma?? fyodor isn't there to see or hear you say it after all. so. yeah he genuinely thought chuuya came on behalf of fyodor's command imo

#also 101 seemed way too real. why would we see his flashbacks... how could he fake them on a meta level.........#i like the take that he figured out it was all set up but was still worried the plan's gonna go wrong #but i prefer to think he only figured it out later. or that goodbye was him trying to reach vampire chuuya anyway #and then when the elevator thing happened he realized chuuya is conscious and can hear him and follow the plan #that's just my take tho anything goes at this point tbh

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king-there0f · 2 years

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Hands u a fucked up little guy

#my art #guild wars 2 #gw2 #sylvari #original character #not me in my self appointed quest to make sylvari collarbones look as freaky as possible #sort of thinking of reviving my old sylvari warrior i deleted years ago #but with a TWIST #still trying to think of a backstory #why u so fucked up my guy #is ‘the inquest are messin around again’ too predictable?#like maybe this is a ‘we have the technology. we can rebuild him’ situation #this is a first pass so he may change later #i kinda wanted him to look more weird #he ended up too pretty #so I’ll probably try again once i figure out story stuff

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spotsupstuff · 11 months

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Your OCS are so interesting and deep! How do you write their story? What inspires you?

thank you! n pfuuuuuu uhhhhhhh

considering that before all of this i was like "egh, fandom ocs, whatever, its like 2/50 that manage to catch my attention. and the last time i made smth so oc focused was when i was around 13, stuff is just not for me" i don't really know how i'm doin all of this!

writing big elaborate stories spanning ideally multiple decades to even centuries is smth that i do in basically every fandom i join with my whole heart, but that usually then revolves around canonical characters and (usually) the character dynamics already present there. i just kind of try to boost them in a direction that feels nice for me

how i'm managing to write an original story from basically a weak chicken scratch (specifically so considering i'm not looking at canon super hard for inspirations) is beyond me. it was all supposed to be originally just Fish and the Seafarer's family just kind of fucking around without much of a clear goal, after all!

but when it comes to writing stories and characters in general, i'mma tell you what my dad told me. "write what you know," a typical good advice, but then he added: "and what you know is your feelings. write about your feelings, From your feelings."

i am not smart with politics, i haven't lived through revolutions. i don't know this no matter how much i read on it. but i know what it means to be hurt by someone and wanting to right it. fight it. i analyze the feelings that jump at me from somewhere inside because of hearing a song and reading the wiki article of Joan of Arc. i relate it to the times i've been harmed. i take those feelings and use them as a fuel for Zephyr's creation

i know what it means to love someone so much you'll claw through the worst fucking depressive thoughts needling you to do the most horrid thing, just so you can ensure they won't have to go through the pain of mourning you. the raw feeling of a need to live for someone else. i remember so well what it felt like when i fell in love within a hug. what worry and fear i felt when i went to confess to the person who's now my dear partner- i've never been such a mess before. i know what i feel when he barges in through the door, squeals at me and gives me a kiss on the nose. i take all of that and lend it to Euros and Sparrows

the most engaging stories happen when you put a truthful piece of yourself into the characters, in my opinion. i don't know everything in the world, but i am capable of identifying what i feel, when and most of the time why too. nobody can dispute my inner processing with any fact on this whole planet. and this unshakeable truth then shapes and inspires what i make. it breathes life into the characters

#Spot says stuff #the story is snaking in whichever direction- Sparrows wasnt a proper character till like a week after the big oc post hit n ya people-#-started showing interest in her and Euros' possible story. what matters is that ill put in there smth that means a lot to me and makes me-#-happy. we can figure the logistics later this comes first. this is also why i am very protective of the whole 'im doing this for the-#-happiness not the lore correctness.' we wouldnt have Any of this if i wasnt putting that first and foremost #see- people often approach characters as dolls n do stuff like 'cant wait to put this little man blorbo thru So much angst >:)))' and like!#you Can do that sure! who am i to stop you? but to me- in my opinion in my way- i think one should treat the characters as their friends #thats actually how im approaching pebbles! i am Specifically going out of my way to think of him as a friend when i do stuff with him

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quietzap · 3 months

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#i know there's only 10 episodes this season #but i feel like this could go both ways - either we get bi buck dating tommy and eddie is the supportive straight bff #or we get bi buck dating tommy and eddie being jealous not knowing why and then he figures it out but doesn't tell buck #and then we have to wait next season for revelations love confessions and buddie 👀#a girl can dream i guess lol #or maybe it'll be the former with supportive straight bff and we get the repressed gay arc next season 👀 (if it ever happens)#i suppose it'll also depend on how the audience reacts to bi buck and only then will tim decide if he wants to write repressed gay eddie #bc if the audience doesn't like it then he'll probably keep buck with tommy but we won't see tommy much and eddie will stay straight lol #or he could even make buck fall in love with a woman again since he's bi lol so ppl get bi buck and the homophobes are happy too #anyway we'll see lol whatever happens I'm excited!#tagging this as #911 spec #to get back to it later and see if i was right or not lol #(updating this to add that if they make buddie happen they could have maddie tell buck she thought his bi awakening would happen with eddie+#+and so buck thinks a lot about why she said this and obviously he figures it out lol. that'd be a nice parallel to her+#+saying he has a crush a few seasons ago)

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hes-a-plant · 2 months

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Well, you know what? Fuck you. I will MAKE it treatable.

#god why do I have to do everything myself #(half joking)#although I legitimately do not know how to take no for an answer in situations like this #you don’t know the cause? or how to fix it?#huh #guess I gotta figure that out myself then #I’m not kidding #I’m so ready to learn biochem or whatever if it means I can treat this #disability #disabled #chronic pain #fibro is such a non-diagnosis #coward diagnosis too #here we don’t know what causes this let’s pretend we do and give it a name!#also statistically speaking sooner or later I’ve gotta find some variable that’ll have an effect

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 1 year

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13 was here

#dont care how dont care why #let me figure out where in her timeline this happens #has someone written this fic yet bc it should exist #theres space between sea devils and potd #there #now two options she can take yaz. not explain anything just like. take her here #12 is here for 3 weeks before clara and missy show up thats plenty of time #or she could go alone #i think i'd have her take yaz - not dan - but then also manage to go a little missing for a bit so she can talk to 12 alone #not tell him who she is but it wouldnt be hard to figure out #she lets him try on her coat he lets her play his guitar #maybe she can come to terms with the whole clara situation a little bit. the missy situation #and then a little later maybe she cant help it and introduces 12 to yaz yaz to 12 #and 12 looks at her like. are we just gonna do this again then. we're just doing it again #and shes like no we're not #but she cant say that obviously #but she Can be very forceful that this is Yaz My Friend Yaz #unfortunately missy and clara were also exactly that. that was like the entire thing. FriendsTM #so. this doesnt communicate to 12 what she wants it to. it does manage to crush yazs hopes a little more tho so 👍#no but like the setup here isperfect. they both think theyre about to die. they both have Complicated Entanglements #has someone written this yet

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kaserolly · 1 year

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I'm trying to relax at the seaside rn but I can't stop stressing and overthinking at all

#my mind is filled with so many worries and anxieties #me and some classmates are trying to finish that statistics project that's due tonight but idk if we can do anything to add #plys im trying to figure out how to install ubuntu on my laptop to study for the operating systems exam #and lets not mention the upcoming exam session bbgfgtf and my algebra exam retake #idk why im at uni... idk why it started becoming even more stressful there hgjfhhf #ive been so overwhelmed with eberything lately ivgdgf i hate that im so fragile physically and emotionally #anyways i gotta go hvbhf im trying not to worry too much or overthink #but i cant help myself... i hate it i despise it #delete later

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oveliagirlhaditright · 2 years

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At this point, I honestly do think that Angel and Angelus are the same person (I'll probably make a more detailed post about all this later).

Like, the whole Angel/Angelus debacle--and us fans asking whether they're the same person or not--is because the show first tells us that a vampire is not the human person left behind with a demon in them: instead, the demon takes over the human's body--almost possesses them, if you will--and may have the memories and even the personality of the person they inhabited, but really isn't that human and has nothing to do with them at all.

But later on, things in the show (like how Spike was handled) make fans begin to question this.

So fans then usually come up with the idea that the Watcher's Council was wrong in telling us this first thing that we heard. Or moreover, that that's probably what they want their Slayers to believe, for obvious reasons. But really, vampires are the person they once were, they just have a demon in them now and no soul/conscience.

Like I said: I might get into all of that in another post. But like a lot of fans have come up with, I do now think that Angel/Angelus are the same person, and that Angelus sort of developed split personalities.

And fanfic writers usually give the following reason for this, if they also buy into this idea.

That when Angelus' soul was restored to him--and all the Catholic teachings he believed in and adhered to as a human--he couldn't deal with it, so came up with the idea that it wasn't really him (and in some ways, it wasn't. Because with a soul/conscience and without the demon, he never would have done that stuff). It was the demon. And thus the Angelus and Angel split was born.

I think another idea similar to that (I don't know if I've seen it in fanfiction, though maybe I have) is that when Angelus' conscience is returned to him, he can't handle all of the horrible things that he did--the mind can only deal with so much, after all--and so in order to protect itself, it comes up with the idea it wasn't truly him--and the Angelus and Angel split is born.

But one thing I feel like I've never seen anyone mention (that I was having a discussion about with a friend once)... is the possibility is that the Romani curse itself could have been responsible for the split. Or at least partly responsible for it. Because there's the loophole in the curse, that after Angel gets his soul back, he'll lose it again if he ever knows a moment of true happiness. But doesn't this make it so there will always be a monstrous version of himself that he can turn back into? It almost makes it sound like to me that the conditions of the curse make it so that "Angelus" can never be rehabilitated, even if he got a chip or whatever like Spike did, so there would always be evil for Angel to turn back into, if he had his moment of true happiness, all so the Romani could have their revenge that way. Does that make sense to anyone else, or am I just crazy? ^_^'

#buffy the vampire slayer #long post #angel #angelus #angel(us)#also. i think the real reason for the inconsistent soul writing is (a)the writers didn't have it all figured out from the get-go and made #it up as they went along. and thus there are plotholes #and/or (b) they sometimes didn't care about the soul rules if better character writing could come out of it. so they just did whatever #and i'm not condoning them for that. at the end of the day i'd better have good character writing over consistent lore #like i said. i might make a bigger post about all of this someday #but they def didn't have all of this planned out at first. they didn't even know angel WAS a vampire at first. they thought he'd be a legit #angel. lol #but like... at this point. i just see too many similarities between angel and angelus to see them as different characters #and i think even in s2 we were supposed to see them as the same character (i think writing in later seasons changed this though like as4)#but notice how in bs2 that even when angel has turned evil the scooby gang still calls him angel #i think the tie-in novels (though if you want to see them as canon or not is up to you) has a somewhat similar belief #and in s3 buffy saying things like 'i know everything that you did because you did it to me. god i wish that i wish you did. but i don't #i can't' makes me think this is right. note that she doesn't say 'i know everything that ANGELUS did. because he did it to me' or anything #like that. it's 'you'#i know this might be an unpopular opinion among my fellow bangels though. and i can get why #but to me. this is what i think canon was trying to say. but if you don't agree that's totally totally fine #and i still think you can't really pin angelus' sins onto angel. and i get why buffy thinks that too #but also get why angel thinks he needs to make amends for them #but once again. the lore IS inconsistent. so there may be no real answer here. or we may get different answers. or more than one

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