#and wanting to protect him esp after the shit in their childhood with their mom dying

[staunchen]

so i was thinking about lan wangji and how he has this reputation of being righteous while also in my opinion acting like an asshole? like he acts very petty and is ready to pull his sword on people a lot and isn't really involved in politics even in a way that makes sense as a high ranking member of a sect? like the silencing spell on jin ling is uh. bad.

it's like lan wangji has scary dog privilege by virtue of his reputation and his brother and uncle who will wreck you if you do or say anything to/about him. except thats not right because theyre not scary dogs at all, they just protect him. it's like lan wangji is a scary dog and lan xichen and lan qiren smooth things over and stop him from doing something too awful and calm others down after lan wangji does something not too great. and i guess with the reputation for being righteous (second jade of lan) is enough to deter people from saying/doing things like "hey he's a dick" because dude that's hanguang-jun, what are you talking about???".

and the people he saves on night hunts or whatever are random civilians who don't interact with him enough to see him behave badly, and a cool and aloof powerful cultivator saving them gets a lot of leeway on account of being a famous powerful cultivator and also being someone who saved them from fierce corpses or spirits or healed their kid or grandparent or whatever. who cares if theyre quiet and kinda rude they saved their sister!!!!!

so when lan wangji is a dick to jin ling or fucks off from political stuff or is ready to pull his sword on jiang cheng in the jiang ancestral hall or whatever he's doing so with the reputation of hanguang-jun who saves people and also is supported by lan xichen (lan sect leader and brother) and lan qiren (former acting sect leader, uncle, teacher) and they are protective and dare i say overindulgent of lan wangji???? like bro you are a political figure whether you like it or not, your actions have effects on things besides your own direct personal circle. like the heir of gusu lan pulling a sword on sect leader jiang is fucking political incident whether or not theyre both being assholes or not. the adult heir of gusu lan using the lan silencing spell on the teenage heir of lanling jin is a political incident. not engaging with other sects politically, ever, says important things about your priorities and your influence both within the sect and without.

also like. what if something happened to gusu lan? like say lan xichen is injured, and lan qiren is also out of commission for some reason? that means lan wangji is acting sect leader. can you IMAGINE lan wangji as sect leader. imagine it. really visualize it. there's a lot of jokes about lan wangji being a petty bitch and people love it but imagine a petty bitch as a sect leader. the situation would blow up faster than lans get drunk on a glass of wine. like dude. so much stuff would be totally fucked.

anyway lan wangji as he is in mdzs would be a shit sect leader/chief cultivator/etc. he doesn't behave like he's intimately involved in the politics of his world (which he is) and may or may not have training in doing so - maybe he has training and just doesn't do it? which is also really bad, then he would know better and still not do it or help in any way.

#mdzs #meta #mdzs meta #yeah #it's rough #lan wangji #i mean dude is not diplomatic #could do a whole other thing on how lan qiren and lan xichen and nie mingjue are not great on not preparing lan wangji and nie huaisang #for political stuff #i deeply understand why #wanting to protect your younger loved on from shitty realities and keeping them safe and happy #but also they have responsibilities and they may/will fall on them eventually! #like nie huaisang will likely be sect leader someday! esp as nie mingjue's qi deviations get worse and worse post sunshot #i mean nie mingjue is aware and part of the whole thing is protecting him from their sect's damaging cultivation #and taking care of him #but it still isn't good for nie huaisang and nie sect as a whole #and in lan sect its like. lan wangji may not ever be sect leader but we've seen so much bullshit happen before and during sunshot especiall #and wanting to protect him esp after the shit in their childhood with their mom dying #but like. dude. you are doing your younger sibling/nephew/whatever no favors by not preparing them or teaching them what's up #they are in for a rude awakening because as we see with nie mingjue and nie huaisang you can't protect them forever #and people will make judgments and behave accordingly #sucks all around honestly

[almost-a-class-act]

I am obsessed with your givenson headcanons but esp Tim's mom?? like do you have more about them specifically bc I am so interested in this idea of her being alive & them on good terms? has she met Rachel or Art? I feel like she would at least know Rachel (bc she's obvs Tim's best friend)? But omg the possibility of her meeting Raylan?? I will be thinking about this for the rest of the week!

From this rambling headcanon.

I'm so glad you asked because this spawned yet another conversation with @cenyiere that made me stare into the abyss for a while!

CW for a domestic violence mention below the cut.

Tim doesn't go home very often, because he hates that tiny-ass town where everyone knows your business. It's probably two years into this thing with Raylan before they go for Thanksgiving or something, and Tim acts like this ain't no thing but I suspect he hasn’t brought anyone home to the folks before, if only because he plays personal shit close to the vest, even with family.

You didn't ask, but I’ve assigned him a sister as well, because I don’t think you acquire Tim’s knack for delightful clever back-and-forth quite as easily without a sibling.

His mom has been through enough that she is beyond taking anyone's shit. She's a little hard with everyone except her kids, and accordingly makes Raylan work for it. (At least part of it is trying to figure out whether he has a temper, because she knows how Tim can push buttons and she doesn’t want to have to murder a Marshal.) Luckily for everyone involved, Raylan’s response ranges from a bemused smile to a quality one-liner, because damned if he isn’t a little charmed by it – which is unsurprisingly pretty similar to how he reacts when Tim gives him shit.

Hi, you didn't think we could come this far and not detour into Tim’s shitty childhood, did you?

The Gutterson household was the type where everyone walked on eggshells around dad. Eventually Tim got old enough and savvy enough to know when an explosion was imminent and accordingly turned up the brattiness so that the one bearing the brunt of the explosion was him, and not his mom or sister. It was sort of a "we already hate each other, it might as well be me he loses it on", and especially as a teenager he got a few swings of his own in.

Accordingly, his family are pretty protective of him as an adult. He already had that one formative abusive relationship in his life that he couldn’t walk away from, and his reaction was to get reckless and mean, to challenge and taunt and say ‘do your worst’ rather than getting out of the way. So it’s less that he can’t look after himself, and more that they don’t always trust him to.

The sister ends up chatting with just Raylan at some point and she's like, "Tim really settled down after the army. He's not as angry as he was." And Raylan, who walks around with a big wad of repressed anger himself and recognizes it in Tim, doesn't say anything.

(Sidebar: Tim’s mom and sister look alike, and neither of them look much like Tim. It wouldn’t be a cosmic joke if you didn’t favour the parent that sucks, after all!)

(Still, picture two sets of unfamiliar eyes fixed on Raylan and then Tim’s mother and sister slide a look to each other that is so exactly Tim that yeah, Raylan knows he’s among Tim’s people.)

Afterward, Rachel congratulates him on not letting himself be run off, which is how Raylan knows that everyone but him was apparently fully aware that Mrs. Gutterson is a little bit of a battle-axe [affectionate].

#tim gutterson #givenson #justified #asks

[gizkasparadise]

cdrama rec/review: go ahead

KDRAMA AND CDRAMA MASTER LIST OF REVIEWS

Series: go ahead Episodes: 40 Genres: family, healing/melodrama, slice of life, romance Spoilers in the Rec: for the first 20% ish/set-up If You Like, You’ll Like: reply 1988, le coup de foudre, find yourself (same production company/main male actor), rain or shine/just between lovers, found family stories, meet again stories

Rank: 10/10** (see Drawbacks section)

PREMISE

widower hai chao and his 6 year old daughter jian jian live happily above his noodle restaurant despite the recent, tragic death of his wife. one day, dysfunction junction a married couple (he ping, a police officer, and chen ting, a real piece of work) move into the same building with their 7 year old son, ling xiao. immediately, jian jian attaches herself to ling xiao, who is unexpectedly grim for a small child. 

because ling xiao’s family is less-than-healthily grieving the loss of their youngest child, ling xiao’s sister who died in a terrible accident. The Apartment of Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms eventually implodes, ending with chen ting abandoning her husband and son. he ping, suddenly a single father, and hai chao come to a friendly partnership that is clearly alluding to gay marriage where they co-raise both of their kids--hai chao as the primary caregiver, and he ping supporting them financially through his job as a policeman.

meanwhile, the neighborhood busybody is dead-set on getting hia chao remarried. eventually she introduces him to a divorced single mother, he mei, and her son zi qiu, who is ling xiao’s age. they sort of start to date, but it culminates in he mei skipping town and leaving zi qiu behind. hai chao, man with a heart of gold, informally adopts him and zi qiu becomes jianjian’s foster brother.

from there, the trio grow up happily and become inseparable. but once zi qiu and ling xiao graduate high school, the bullshit parade their respective childhood skeletons reappear in their lives. circumstances lead to the boys moving overseas, leaving jianjian and their fathers behind. 

they reunite after 9 years, when the boys return to a home where they hope to pick things back up from where they left off. things are more complicated than that, as jianjian finds herself in a new life and surrounded by new people. 

MAIN CHARACTERS

li jian jian

hai chao’s daughter and the only girl in the family. she attended the required short-hair-low-grades training program required of all cdrama youth female leads. super positive and outgoing, as well as the youngest of the three pseudo-siblings, jian jian grows up spoiled and over protected by her father and brothers, and as a result is completely devastated once her family falls apart. it’s so sad.

after the time skip, she’s an on-the-verge successful artist who makes woodcarvings, and exudes big art bro energy. inhales sugar like it’s nobody’s business. she inherited her father’s disease called caring too much, and it’s incurable!! 

ling xiao

the eldest brother and resident fun police. ling xiao comes from a seriously toxic home that finally seems to improve once his mother leaves. but then she comes back. fucking great. introverted to the point of being withdrawn to anyone but his chosen family, ling xiao’s had to carry a lot of emotional weight that takes a larger and larger toll on him as the series progresses. please get this boy some therapy. 

becomes a dentist because jian jian needs one. wears a lot of monochromatic outfits with low necklines because heavy angst but make it fashion. has been in love with jian jian since high school and is still carrying that torch 9 years later.

he zi qiu  

the middle child who grows up in hai chao and jian jian’s home, and is her foster brother in all but paperwork. hotheaded, zi qiu and jian jian basically share two brain cells that ling xiao routinely takes from them for safekeeping. he spoils jian jian, sneaking her snacks and junk food and wants to become a pastry chef so he can open a sweet shop for her!!

my favorite character. just wants to be wanted 8( him and hai chao’s relationship is my favorite dynamic in the series. will sob while driving a pink moped. is too proud to beg

li hai chao (left) and ling he ping (right)

the greatest (hai chao) and okayest (he ping) dads in the world! noodle dad/hai chao has never done anything wrong in his life, ever, and we know this and we love him. he ping isn’t a bad person, but demonstrates pretty classic absentee parenting/isn’t as emotionally present in his son’s life as hai chao. hai chao is the heart of the family, and would do anything for his kids 8( 

SOME SUPPORT CHARACTERS 

tang can (left) and qiu ming yue (right)

jian jian’s #GirlGang and roommates. they, like literally everyone in this drama, have some severe mom issue hang-ups. tang can (left) is a former child actress who is struggling with her lack of success as an adult and gives well-meaning but absolutely terrible advice on the regular. 

ming yue (right) is jian jian’s best friend since childhood and as an adult is trying to break free from her mother’s controlling nature--she’s also had a thing for ling xiao for the last 9 years. raises fish for symbolism purposes.

chen ting

ling xiao’s mom and certified garbage human. unable to cope with the death of her daughter that was her fault lbr, she abandons her family and disappears for ten years. she forces her way back into ling xiao’s life when he turns 18, where it’s revealed that she’s remarried and ling xiao has a younger half-sister chengzi (”little orange”). shit goes down, and soon ling xiao is forced to move back to singapore to serve as primary caregiver to both his mother who abandoned him and the half sister he barely knows. 

emotionally abusive and basically hits every single square on the toxic parent bingo card. i just. i just hate her. even typing this out is making me mad.

he mei

zi qiu’s mother. after a few dates with hai chao, she ends up ditching her kid and disappearing for unknown reasons. is a slightly better parent than chen ting but that’s like saying some poison kills you slower. the show tries to bring us around on her but it didnt work for me. 

SOME OTHERS

zhuang bei, zi qiu’s best friend growing up who i would like a lot less if he wasn’t played by the same actor who played my beloved dachuan

zheng shuran, jian jian’s first boyfriend and fellow artist who’s got a weird thing for women’s waists and pretentious artists’ statements

du juan, jian jian’s friend who co-owns their woodworking studio. has absolute trash taste in men

chengzi, ling xiao’s half-sister who can be a brat but dear god does she need to be protected/saved 

**DRAWBACKS

so this is a weird one for me. what i didn’t like i really didn’t like, but what i loved i really loved. ultimately, the factors/uniqueness of this show and the loveability of the main characters outweighed the negatives and it’s one of my favorite dramas.

THAT SAID. i got some #thoughts on this one. 

first, there are literally no positive mother figures in this show. not a damn one. they are all negligent or controlling at best or down right abusive at worst. no woman over 30 is portrayed positively and that’s a big No from me. 

the last 10 eps have some pacing issues and focus on the wrong people. spending the remaining episodes focused on one of the most universally hated characters vs. the main family was a bad move 

the show tried to redeem or make us sympathize with characters that were, to me, completely irredeemable. one case is worse than the other, but both of them were terrible people that deserved to be cut out of the main family’s lives.  

REASONS TO WATCH

the main family. the characters are so wonderful and nuanced, and their dynamics with one another were amazing. you’ll fall in love with hai chao aka noodle dad and the trio. they go through so many trials but they still stick together and it’s ultimately a healing drama and i loved it very much.

the central romance was less in focus, but the pining is enough to make jane austen emerge from the grave. i loved the leads together, and while LOL ling xiao’s attachment to jian jian was not always healthy, they supported each other and it made me smile. i love me a tortured pining dude.

#Acting. everyone played their parts to perfection. the child actors in particular were so well-cast (esp baby zi qiu)

the soundtrack lmao. you watch the opening credits and know you’ll need to buckle up

idk it’s a very unique show, and i haven’t seen one like it. reply 1988 comes close, but it doesn’t tackle the same issues and it was all just very real and earnest. 

Final Thoughts.

GOODNIGHT, GOOODBYYYYYE MY CHILDREEEEEEEN

#go ahead #song weilong #zhang xincheng #tan songyun #cdrama #gizka does kdrama

[firewvlker]

Did you see ALYSON RONAN from TELL ME WHY walking around Limbo? The CISFEMALE looks like LYNDSY FONSECA, and is TWENTY-EIGHT years old. I’ve heard she can be COMPASSIONATE & ORGANIZED but also SARCASTIC & RESERVED. When I think of them I think of RED BEANIES, BURIED CHILDHOOD TRAUMA, AND VARSITY HOCKEY. They’ve been here WITH their memories as a MANAGER at LIMBO CITY DRIVE-IN for TWO YEARS. I heard they’re seeking a sanctum.

grew up in a small alaskan town where everyone knew everything & everyone. tho she lived in juneau in her early-mid 20s, so city life isn’t totally new to her.

raised by a single mother, along with her twin, tyler. their mom did her best but well, she had problems. i.e. she broke promises all the time, ignored them half the time, had a drinking problem, they barely had enough money to get by (they were always hungry/relied on handouts from neighbors) so she stole shit, & was rather distant & unhinged from reality. she was also very controlling i.e. wouldn’t let them watch or even have a tv, go to school, & watched them like 24/7.

unlike tyler, aly was aware of her mother’s fragile mental state & did all she could to keep from setting her off, including trying to keep tyler reined in. it’s likely she had schizophrenia & depression.

very very creative. made a board game similar to chutes and ladders named luge and tramway with tyler when they were kids. she also created the book of goblins as a kid.

when they were 11, she heard tyler screaming for her & found their mother holding him at gunpoint. so she stabbed her, believing she was going to kill tyler, she’d said she was going to, so.

obvs that left her traumatized af but tyler took the blame for it when the cops got involved. she didn’t want to lie but tyler convinced her to go with it, so they did, & were split up. he was labeled an at-risk youth & sent to a center for troubled teens & aly was taken in by the police chief who was a fam friend.

it was 10 years before she was able to be with tyler again & basically, they go back home to fix up & sell their house & try to figure out what actually happened that night.

went 10 fucking years without telling anyone the truth or talking about it at all, so hello guilt & buried issues.

basically they learn that cps was going to get involved in things & she was going to lose her kids (her biggest fear) so she was either a) going to kill them & herself or b) kill herself.

i’m going with the twins believing a, however, aly still doesn’t 100% trust her memory of that night so that’s smth that weighs on her a lot. that what if.

she carries a loooot of guilt, esp towards tyler, she thinks she stole his life. she’s very awkward around him & apologizes constantly, tho that’s gotten a little better over the years.

she’s kinda like that in general with people tbh, new & old. she says sorry way too much & is very conflict avoidant due to her childhood.

i’m obvs going with the ending where she, tyler, & michael moved to juneau bc the other ?? oof.

loooves hockey. she played varsity for three years in high school & likely got back into it after moving/in college.

has pretty severe panic attacks/anxiety & depression but since she started going to therapy, it’s gotten a little more manageable for her.

has a passion for diy projects & crafts. also a space & astronomy hoe.

still trying to kick smoking.

went to a sketchy online college once but is pretty sure they just stole her credit card info. she’s probably gone to an actual one since but what for, idk yet.

she still has very conflicting feelings on her mother.

has a like telepathic/empathic link with her brother that they call “the bond” or “voice” -- they’re able to share thoughts & feel each others feelings. they’re also able to like see & hear memories with it.

very big on lgbtqia rights & appreciation. if you talk shit or be disrespectful she will fight you. she had to hear enough of that bs back home about her brother (& michael) & she ain’t here for it.

very protective of her brother.

highkey afraid she’s gonna go off the deep end one day, like her mom.

#alyson intro. #limbchq: intro #i love her sm aslkj #mental illness tw #death tw #suicide mention tw #◜★◞ ┆ ━ alyson ronan. ❞ ﹡ ⁽ inspo ⁾⋅

[sterlingun]

Character: ― Nicholas ‘Nik’ Sterling Faceclaim: ― Theo James Age/Pronouns: ― 33 | he/him Occupation:  ― Lycan Alpha Hometown/District: ― born in Downtown, Houston / lives in Upper Springs, Houston

HEADCANONS

Though there’s no real blood relation between Nik and the old Alpha, over the years spent with the Lycans he’s grown to admire the man and regard him as a father figure he desperately lacked all these years. With the old Alpha growing weaker day after day, eaten away by the illness, Nik is terrified of the thought of losing him too, he still considers him his compass and most trusted adviser.

He still hasn’t given up on searching for his sister - even though the odds are against him, he believes he owes it to her to never stop trying, whether he finds her dead or alive. It’s the only remaining loose end from his youth, when his father was still there to wreak havoc on their lives. 

His brother used to show him card tricks when they were kids, and when he joined the Lycans - he left behind a worn deck of playing cards that Nik is still very attached to. It’s the only physical memory he has of his brother. After that, especially when he was on the run he focused a lot of his efforts on card tricks and learning to cheat his way to a win. It was a way to make money when he was on the run, and you can still see him absentmindedly playing with cards to this day, especially when he’s thinking about something, or something is bothering him. 

He wears black leather gloves a lot, and it’s very rare to see him without them - probably only closest to him have seen him without them. When he was a young boy his father would make him and Ethan hold a scorching hot iron bar to ‘test their durability’. It’s not a fond memory for Nik, and neither are the scars. Besides, he’s worn them so much they’re pretty much a part of his image these days. 

If you’re even remotely familiar with the way he walks, you’ll know he has a very specific gait. He tries to compensate for it, make it seem languid and aloof, but it’s still visible, especially on a bad day. This is the result of the first time he tried to kill his father, when the old bastard left him with torn ligaments and a broken patella. 

He’s got a thing for fast, expensive cars and has a garage by the house filled with whatever he’s passionate about currently. Do not start talking about them, because he won’t ever stop - you’ve been warned. He’s quiet usually, but oh boy this topic is a black hole. 

A bit of pyromaniac, if he can set it on fire and has a reason to - he will. And he prefers matches over lighters when it comes to lighting his cigarettes. He won’t ever admit it, but it’s got a lot to do with how he ended his father’s life. 

Watches are his thing. Majorly. You walk into his closet and there’s an entire section dedicated just to expensive, limited-edition Omegas and Patek Philippes and Piagets and god knows what. He thinks it adds to the whole look, plus to be honest - he’s a nerd about this stuff. Also another topic where you do not want to get him started. 

Likes to read a lot. Even if he had no formal education, you can strike up a conversation with him about pretty much anything from philosophy to literature to technology. I think he kind of values knowledge a lot, and it’s his biggest regret he had no chances to actually study and learn about something. 

His biggest vices are whiskey and cigarettes. You can always see him with one or the other, or both - depends on the situation. 

He has a set of two expensive silver guns that were given to him by the old Alpha and he will protect these things with his life. The story goes that Nik’s mom gave these to the old Alpha for their 10th anniversary, but the old man wanted Nik to have them and to remember that even though she made some bad choices, she did love Nik too. 

He’s got a tattoo on his back that says ‘Death before dishonor’ and on his chest a tattoo mimicking a scar from tiger’s claws hides a bullet wound he’d received fighting his father. There’s some small silvery scars on his back, he’s had them since childhood and isn’t too keen on discussing them. 

100% blames himself for losing his sister and the death of his girlfriend, he can’t be reasoned with when it comes to these topics, and even though he won’t admit it - he still has nightmares about both, as well as the death of his brother .You could probably classify him as a chronic insomniac, but try convincing him of that...  

WANTED CONNECTIONS

The Sister - She’s someone he’s lost a long time ago, and he never quite forgave himself for letting their father take her away. He’s spent the years since she’s been gone actively searching for her, either himself or through other means. I feel like he thinks of her as this pure thing from his childhood, untainted by their father because she was kept protected by their mother from young age. I think it’s a complicated relationship, because long ago he probably resented her for being their mother’s first choice while he was left behind, but there’s too much love there to truly ever allow himself to feel that. He wants to find her, but he’s terrified of what life has done to her innocence and well-being, and even more terrified that she’s died along the way because he wasn’t capable of finding her.

The Brother/Sister in Arms - Someone he connected with when he first joined the Lycans. It could either be someone who was suspicious of him at first, or someone who accepted him right away. I think it would make an interesting dynamic either way. Because it was tough for him at first, he was used to being alone and completely incapable of trusting anyone, a bit too familiar with violence given his age, had connections to the Reapers (even though he was obviously against them) etc. So he either butted heads with this person at first or he was trying to shoo them away because they attempted to reach out to him. But now he appreciates that they stuck around through thick and thin and they’re one of those rare people he’d trust with his life. Either male or female I think it could work either way I’d just be super excited to see this happen!

The Ex-brother/sister-in-law - Okay this is something I would love to see happen. Nik blames himself majorly for his late girlfriend’s death, because he pulled her into this life and refused to let go because he’d found someone he felt safe with for the first time. Now this could go either way - this person could be angry and resentful because they blame him for what happened to their sister, or they could be like 'she wouldn’t have listened even if you told her to leave’ because they know how stubborn she was and how much she cared about him, so there was nothing to be done and it was just a tragic story. Anyway this is my shit, there’s angst either way and I’m ready for it.

The Friend from Before - Someone he met and ran with for a certain period of time after he escaped Houston and before he came back and joined the Lycans. I think it opens up a lot of doors - like this person could now be back in town, or they’ve been here for a while, maybe they’re a Reaper (ooh drama), or unaffiliated, or want to join the Lycans, idk the possibilities are endless! I’m just excited about someone who knew him from before, I think that would make for an interesting dynamic to expore esp if there’s angst and someone left someone behind…

The Ex - Okay just like the one before, I’m leaving this pretty open to interpretation. It can be as casual or as angsty as we wish, we’ll just figure it out. I mean that journalist girl he fell in love with was his more serious thing, but he’s not that young I’m sure there’s been a lot of people along the way. It could be his crippling issues that got in the way, or both of them had crippling issues (entirely plausible tbh), they might have been too explosive for each other, or he wanted to protect them… It could be someone like the Friend from Before, so like during that time period (which would be super interesting actually!), or someone from Lycan he’s on bad terms with, or good terms? Honestly, sky’s the limit I just love exploring different dynamics and also heartbreak and also why people don’t end up working together.

The Mentor/Mentees - Ok the old Alpha was his mentor, but tbh I would like to see someone played who took him under his wing back then, like showing him the ropes, teaching him things, practicing with him, building him as a person etc. I just dig that okay? I dig it the other way around too though, so if anyone is willing to be his mentee and go through that stuff, I'm so there for it. Because he sees himself in a lot of the troubled people so he’s always there for it, even through it’s sometimes tough love. We can always work out the dynamics so that it fits both characters, but I would just love to see it happen. I think it brings out the protective/caring side in Nik.

More, more, more!! - I might add things on as I go, but honestly if you have an idea for a connection (does’t have to be one of the above) please feel free to reach out! We’ll work it out and tbh nothing’s set in stone.

THE STORY

He was born in Downtown, Houston - dirt poor trailer park kid who was still too young to be bitter and resentful about the cards he’d been dealt. His father was a petty criminal, hell-bent on trying to impress the Reapers, just as he was hell bent on spending what little money they had on gambling, or beating them and their mother. All in all - his childhood was a bleak series of weeks and months and years, spent alongside his older brother and a younger sister. 

Their father tried to groom Ethan and Nik for the life of crime, wanting to introduce them to the Reapers from a young age. But as soon as those two were capable of thinking for themselves, they realised most of it was just senseless violence and a promise of a life of subservience. They played along to an extent (training-wise) but generally rebelled against him even if they’d earn a beating after that. 

Eventually their mother disappeared, taking their sister along with her. As it would turn out, with Lycans on the rise she saw an opportunity and ran. Nik guesses she thought her ex-husband had already asserted too much influence over Ethan and Nik so they were left behind. There were stories that the Alpha took an interest in her, which sent their father pretty much further over the edge so next few years would be hell for the brothers. 

Nik and Ethan were each other’s stone during those formative years, but eventually their mother reached out to Ethan offering him a way out, leaving Nik behind once again. It was first of many brutal hits to come that Nik would have to learn to deal with.

Enraged by the fact she took his firstborn, Nik’s father tracked down their sister, and as retaliation, took her away from her mother and the Lycans. Nik saw her only briefly, exchanging barely a few words before she was sold off to god knows where. Seeing what his father was truly capable of doing, Nik escaped Houston, his mind set on finding and saving his sister. 

He’d spend the next few years bouncing around, erasing his traces along the way as he perfected his skills and looked for his sister - using his rage and determination as a driving force. 

Things would come to a halt though, when the news of his brother’s death reached him somehow. Apparently, their father had no problem driving a knife through his son’s heart the first chance he got. Broken and in disbelief, Nik flew back to Houston. 

He laid low for a while, before finally feeling prepared enough to strike down his father. That didn’t go down as well as he’d hoped, considering his Reaper friends got involved - but Nik was content enough with the damage he’d done. This was his first try after all. 

This was a catalyst for the Lycans’ Alpha to reach out to Nik - it seemed that out of the bunch, he was the only one left, and he was borderline insane with rage and hatred he harboured against his father and the Reapers. Which was exactly the kind of thing that was of interest for Alpha. 

He’d spend his late teenage years and early adulthood with the Lycans, being trained as one of their own, rising through the ranks, being subtly groomed by the alpha. He’d meet a girl in those years, a stubborn reporter he would fall madly in love with, and he’d probably tell you those were his ‘happy’ years. 

But his father wasn’t done yet - he eventually had Nik’s girlfriend beaten to a pulp, left do die in a dark, damp alley so that all Nik could do in the end, was say goodbye to her by the hospital bed and then go out to seek his revenge. 

It seriously messed him up, but he also seemed completely unable to rest until he tracked his father down and set fire to the house he was staying in. A cruel way to go, considering he knew of his father’s fear of fire - but Nik was long past caring. 

The rest was history. The Alpha continued to groom him to eventually become his successor but their time would be cut short by an illness that started tormenting the old man. A vote was cast, and though Nik got the majority - he didn’t get all the votes like the Alpha had hoped. Main concern among the deciding betas was Nik’s age - they were of the opinion that he was too young to take on such a responsibility. 

Though slightly reluctant, after the old Alpha abdicated about a year ago - Nik rose to the occasion and took his place as the new Alpha, and has been working out just what kind of leader he’s meant to be for the past year. 

#gowtalk #i tried to make it shorter than the bio... #emphasis on tried #feel free to like this post if you want me to stalk your DMs i'm so excited about all the plots! :D #tw abuse

[yharnamopossum]

okay i’m gonna go off abt netta before bed cus i am POSITIVE i will never give her an actual bio (and her actual full involvement with theo’s fam/story goes wayyy beyond what i’m actually including in my big writing thing lmfao) but she’s still a really. interesting person. so.

her ties to theo begin with his parents actually (and are strongest there), and it’s really just a complete fluke he himself ever actually met her tbh. hand of fate or smthn. she knew theo’s mom sara growing up and always had a huge crush on her but never said a damn thing about it, then she eventually joined the army where she met durante (theo’s dad), who then met sara, who then won sara’s heart, aaand then theo happened LOL. but still, netta just kinda. had to deal??

i mean it’s her fault she never said anything to sara abt her lil crush pfft but still. durante knew abt it, she admitted it to him, and he and netta were still friends (frienemies, maybe?? closer to the friend spectrum lol) despite that, but they still definitely had a little rivalry of like “lol i’m gonna steal your girl” “lol i’ll break your fucking kneecaps if u try bitch” or whatever. innocent (at first ooohhhhh.....)

after a while of fighting together in the army netta discovered that, hey! mercenaries make way more money than foot soldiers!! and she split, and then a rift kinda came between her and durante morally, which then shifted into just... a rift in general? and eventually things turned kinda (very) sour. esp since being a mercenary meant netta could go/stay wherever she wanted, including her (& sara’s) hometown, meaning she saw sara way more than durante ever did and could very clearly see that sara’s already terrible depression was worsening like crazy since her husband was gone so goddamn much (ESPECIALLY after she got pregnant + had theo since she ended up raising him more or less alone)

but netta kept her distance!! from sara i mean, like she’s not the kind to try to hook up with a vulnerable person when their spouse is away or smthn lmfao, so she offered sara support from a safe distance, but it still was just. it didn’t really help. esp since netta wasn’t there TOO terribly much since she didn’t want to step on durante’s toes, which... is a good idea on paper, i guess, but in execution it really just meant that sara’s husband AND her childhood friend were both suddenly distant asf and the poor thing had no idea why

then durante came back for a while to meet his bby son, and... everything went to shit. netta tried to convince durante to join her little mercenary troop so he could stay in the area, but he refused, which made netta even more upset since she saw that as him neglecting his wife, and things just. kept getting worse and worse. in the end netta was the one who [REDACTED] and it was just. bad. like, not her fault!! not really, durante was off the shits, but her fkin rivalry with + bitterness towards him really didn’t help with fkin like. second thoughts in the moment or w/e lmfao.

but that ended up being what more or less led to sara’s death, kinda?? just the whole Being Totally Alone thing. and netta pretty much knew that, so she just fuckin. peaced!! guilt and shame for letting things get out of hand, she couldn’t face sara afterwards and just. tried to forget (tried!! didn’t work!!!) and eventually heard of sara’s death like, not too terribly long after. which she still blamed on durante for just up and fkin abandoning his wife (buuut also somewhat on herself). bad bad bad.

slash cut to like, sixteen-or-so years later!! whomst the fuck does netta find trying to steal money from her camp?? fuckin. big-ass undead armadillo bitch boy who looks a little too similar to sara. guess who!!!!!

but this is kinda where netta’s involvement gets. weird?? cus she like... she pretty much pulled an anti-snape LMFAO cus rather than be like, “ohhh this is the kid sara had with that motherfucker durante who stole and then killed the love of my life and also is intrinsically partly to blame for her death himself since her being pregnant + having a child made everything worse... i’m gonna fucking torture him!!” she got like. WILDLY protective over theo, like immediately, like “i failed sara but i’m gonna keep her fucking kid safe mark my damn words.”

but she also fucking SUCKS as a person, on top of!! being a fuckin. lunatic?? she genuinely has no goddamn sight for distinguishing good and bad, right and wrong, etc etc. she sees an outcome that she deems as good and then ignores the morality of all middleman to GET to that outcome. it’s why she turned to mercenary work without any sort of second thought at all tbh (”money is good, and killing people makes money, therefore... killing people is good?🤔”), absolutely no moral compass. so she finds sara’s kid, she goes “i’m gonna protect him!!” and then her logic for HOW to do said protecting is “i know! i’ll manipulate him into joining my mercenary troop + make him more or less depend on me so i can keep an eye on him :)” like!! bitch!!!! no!!!!!!!!!!!!

but it WORKED!! theo is JUST like his father, so she knew EXACTLY what to say & do to get him to join her. and honestly?? she DID protect him -- force him to do some horrible things under the guise of “that’s just what we do fam,” sure, but protect him nonetheless -- and it wouldn’t have been all too fucking terrible if it weren’t for FUCKING theo’s shitty (second) ex oslo coming in and spilling the goddamn beans about [REDACTED] and throwing a wrench into goddamn everything (Everything Is Oslo’s Fault CANON™). theo said fuck you to netta and left her troop to join oslo’s and she just. she weirdly tends to just drop a subject once the other party has made up their mind, so she didn’t do anything to try to convince him to stay. she just said, “well, i’ll be here if you change your mind or want to talk about it :/” and that was that. peace.

regardless, she like. was never really a good person, but her heart was in the right place, kinda???? like, she really genuinely did/does care about theo and hopes to god he’s alright wherever he is (which ofc once theo ditched oslo that fucker had the nerve to tell netta “oh he died (:” cus he didn’t want to just admit he got broken up with but tbh netta knows better) but i mean. who tf knows i...... am kinda thinking of having her and theo meet again in the far far future to talk things out tho tbh...... hmph

idk man she’s just... weird. very well-meaning, somewhat, but also horribly manipulative and cold. her way of dealing with things not going her way is an immediate “welp! guess that’s just how things be!” quickly followed by a sudden and utter fucking off, which... honestly does more harm than good most of the time. like, if netta had stayed close to sara after durante’s death rather than going “welp! that’s that!” then, let’s be real, sara probably wouldn’t have died cus she would have had someone keeping her healthy. likewise, if netta had fought a bit more to keep theo with her rather than going “welp!” and letting him run off with oslo (who she KNEW would just use and abuse him), then!! theo never would have had to deal with all the bullshit he went through with that asshole!!! (in fact, come to think of it, if she hadn’t just gone “welp!” when theo FIRST declined her offer and had tried to convince him, he wouldn’t have had to go through any of the bullshit with his FIRST ex boyfriend EITHER smh dammit sis), but she’s just too fucking impassive + sociopathic. like, the biggest blow her heart ever had to endure was finding out that sara had died (+ the knowing that she herself had played an undeniable part in sara’s neglecting herself to death), and yet, know what her reaction was after .0003secs when the shock of it all had worn off??? “welp!”

wack

#oc nonsense #long post #netta [writing] #netta #oof this got long soz but she's weird #i stayed up way later than i should have writing this LOL oh well #i think i'm gonna have things be happier in modern stuff tbh #like i know she and sara will probably never actually get together even tho sara is still alive in modern shit #but at the very least netta can like. actually keep her fkin safe #esp in ballet au n stuff like that where theo eventually does exchange student type stuff and sara is left alone #she needs someone to watch after her :c #hh i lov sara sm i'll write about her eventually too lmfao #but! for now!! christ a bitch needs sleep!!!!!! goodnight lmfao

[anyway-heres-enderal]

i couldnt shut up about enderal right now if i wanted to so here’s that prophet ask meme with my prophetess fleur

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1. The basics – name, age, etc…

her name is fleur! i don’t know her last name but that’s okay because she’s kind of abandoned it. both of my vyn protags have line-of-sight, musically-inspired names so after that fuckin nightmare intro scene i had to name her as an homage to the song that was playing in my head the entire time it was happening (warning: disturbing imagery, abuse of some sort that is not shown but is strongly implied)

she’s 26 years old, half-kilean and bisexual.

2. Describe their appearance.

there’s a picture up there but a few other specifics: her hair is actually white, not just very light blonde, and she has blue eyes

3. How do they like to dress?

she jumps at the chance to wear nice clothes. she never got to back in ostian.

4. Do they have any markings (scars, tattoos, birthmarks)?

she has a few scars from a couple scuffles she got into back in nehrim. one of then is pretty gnarly-looking but it’s a diagonal from her lower chest to her left hip so once the events of enderal started rolling nobody who had seen it was still alive. word to the wise: don’t try to 1v1 a thunder lizard when you’re 14.

5. What are they like? Describe their personality (use whatever tools you like- MBTI, D&D alignment, astrological signs, Hogwarts house, words/phrases):

first of all, the only one of those tools that i have even a remotely decent grasp on is d&d alignment. she’s neutral-bordering-on-chaotic good. i don’t make characters with messages behind them (esp if they’re not for anyone’s consumption but mine) but hers would be “optimism with a dose of realism is probably the healthiest way to see the world”--she has the good sense to know when a situation or a person is beyond help but until that point she will try everything to help them. she desperately wanted to be wrong about adila and even as he was preparing his kamikaze attack she tried so hard to talk yuslan down.

to temper this, though, she takes things too seriously and she’s a bit of a crybaby (ok, not just a bit. alessia, my shadowgod, cried three times over the course of the entire main quest. fleur cried three times over the course of the very first quest that didn’t take place inside a trauma nightmare), although you could argue that she just has like. a normal human reaction to trauma, and everything that happens to her in enderal is EXTREMELY FUCKING TRAUMATIC.

since i have an easier time using tools like the ones described in the question to describe personalities, if she was a disney character she’d be rapunzel from tangled but less naive and with meaningful agency and if she was a social link/confidant in a persona game her card would be the star.

6. How would they describe themselves?

she has really low self-esteem but she doesn’t like. outright hate herself so she’s dismissive of any notion that she’s special or pretty. this probably sounds extremely sue-ish but a) i don’t give a fuck and b) every diy protagonist is at least kind of a mary sue simply because they’re the big special chosen one who all the romanceable companions have feelings for.

7. Education level?

uh. Not Any, Formally Speaking. School Of Hard Knocks. Worked For A Historian In Her Late Teens-Early Twenties And Learned Most Of What She Knows That Isn’t On The School Of Hard Knocks Curriculum That Way.

8. What are they proud of in themselves? What are they embarrassed about?

like the one notable talent that she’ll accept having is that she’s really smart and even before the Everything That Happened On The Ship Headed To Enderal she was a really quick learner.

she has ZERO prior experience with romance (she’s not in any way aromantic, she’s just never been in a romantic relationship) and she doesn’t like to tell people that, especially people she likes. she feels like they’ll think there’s something seriously wrong with her and that’s why she’s never been in a romantic relationship at age 26. 9. Do they know any languages other than Inal?

she knows like. kindergarten-level kilean.

10. What, if any, aspects of their mother’s culture influenced them growing up?

she didn’t really “grow up” with her parents, they died when she was six, but she has a strong belief in the importance of diplomacy and that’s pure Mom right there.

11. Name a song (or a few) that remind you of them.

i hope you like obscure musicals and vocaloid because that’s what you’re getting

In All My Dreams I Drown - The Devil’s Carnival Cast

Starchild - Ghost Quartet

Tears To Shed - Corpse Bride

Ever Lasting Night - Hitoshizuku-P (specifically the Miku character)

Lemonade - Sophie (sorry 4 mood whiplash)

12. Speaking of songs, can they sing? What is their voice like? How about instruments?

she’s hopeless with instruments but she’s not a bad singer by any means. sorry 4 relentless youtube links but she kind of sounds like Gelsey Bell

13. What was their life like before coming to Enderal?

it wasn’t good, i’m not going to lie. she and sirius spent a pretty decent amount of time roughing it because towns and cities kind of got progressively more dangerous as time went on, and Because Of Reasons I Won’t Go Into Here they both had pretty good reasons to avoid anyone affiliated with the temple of the creator

14. How did they decide to leave Nehrim?

it was too fuckin dangerous to try to make a life there anymore

15. Describe their relationship with Sirius.

they were siblings in all senses but blood. he got her out of a pretty bad situation when they were kids and she just stuck with him until they had been through so much together there was no other way for them to describe their relationship than “family”

16. Who do they blame for what happened to their family?

herself. survivor’s guilt is a hell of a drug and it doesn’t help that things only got worse afterward. she like. knows the temple did it, but since she doesn’t know why she’ll always wonder if there was something she could have done to stop it.

17. Apart from stowing away, have they ever broken the law?

she would be considered an accomplice to murder because she helped hide a body once (don’t worry, the victim without question deserved it)

18. How honest are they? Under what circumstances would they lie?

basically the only person she directly lies to is herself; if she’s dishonest, it’s usually by omission. the rare occasions she does outright lie it’s usually to protect someone or because there’s no way anyone would believe the truth.

19. Worst memory(s)? Best memory(s)?

Too Heavy For This Post and uhhhh. getting to spend time with her two BFFs/crushes on the Gertrude before everything started really going to shit was an extremely good memory for her.

20. Fight, or flight?

fight unless they’re like. demonstrably stronger. running away from an enemy she had a chance of defeating has always just come back to bite her. she wanted to fight the steel bird in the star city.

21. Describe their combat style.

Best Defense Is A Good Offense, Also Axes = Good. (original playthrough was greataxes and heavy armor but i’ll probably switch to war axes and light armor [or unarmored if i can swing it] when the steam release drops because apparently half-kileans are equivalent to bretons in normal skyrim terms and i can’t abide having played a heavy armor + two-handed breton twice)

22. Have they ever killed before? What is their reaction to combat?

she’s hunted animals but she’d never done more to a human than injure them enough to scare them off prior to enderal. she tries to only harm people in self-defense and may have cried a little bit (ok, quite a bit) after she had to kill firespark.

23. How do they react to having magical abilities? Do they use them?

magic makes her head feel “gross” somehow (read: she’s uniquely sensitive to arcane fever) so she doesn’t use it

24. What do they think of Enderal?

the scenery’s beautiful but the fact that it’s a theocracy and the notion of being stuck on a certain “path” depending on the circumstances of your birth freaks her out for reasons of “hey remember the oppressive religious regime that was responsible for all of your childhood trauma and continued to make your life hell before a mysterious trans power couple plus their direct superior group of outsiders instigated a rebellion that brought the whole thing down? now it controls the whole continent and everyone thinks it’s Good, Actually”

25. Did they do the Biggest Egg Hunt Ever quest?

she would have if my dumb ass hadn’t completely fuckin spaced it out and forgotten about it until it was too late. next playthrough, i swear.

26. How do they feel about joining the Order? What do they think of Arantheal?

she was not in favor of it (see: opinion of theocracies) and basically clung to the green shirts until she was inducted as a keeper. arantheal makes her uneasy but the threat of looming armageddon does a lot to help her shove that uneasiness to the side.

27. What is their opinion of the gods (or lack thereof)?

she’s not inherently against the gods but she doesn’t like organized religion

28. Wine, or pipe?

wine!

29. Do they spare or arrest Hallys, the farmer-turned-bandit in the quest, Deus Ex Machina? Why?

she arrested him after she found out where the money really came from. if it hadn’t been Stolen From A Fucking Food Bank she probably would have let him go.

30. What are their feelings and opinions about the Undercity?

uh...she hates that ark has a “slum district out of sight of the Good And Honorable Rich People” because having been poor and homeless basically until she came to enderal she can’t help but empathize with the residents of the undercity.

31. How do they react to the beggars of Ark?

if tumblr doesn’t stop refreshing the page and deleting my answers every time i switch tabs to look at the wiki or change the song i’m listening to i’m going to throw my laptop off the porch.

she usually reacts by sparing some change because she can relate

32. Where and how do they spend their time when in Ark?

she really likes the museum in the south quarter. she likes learning stuff and looking at relics of the past.

33. What would they do with three wishes?

just...stop the fuckin cycle

make the black stones inert so nobody else gets hurt because of them

this is basically deliberate repression so it’s 100% unhealthy but she would gladly wish to forget everything that happened before she was seven if it would put an end to the nightmares

34. How do they feel about death? Do they fear it?

uh. yes. she very bigly fears death. she kind of had a complete breakdown after the keeper exam until calia reassured her that just because she heard something during her harrowing doesn’t mean it’s true.

35. What (else) do they fear?

deep water (predates game events). also i dont know if it’s necessarily a fear but she hates being surprised.

36. Do they have any secrets?

uh. Yeah. her dad really was as bad as the dreams show. a few other things.

37. How is their behavior around people they like? People they dislike?

she’s about as friendly and affectionate as her shyness will allow with people she likes. it takes a LOT for her to be actively hostile but she’ll only attempt like. the barest superficial politeness to people she dislikes. 38. What is their relationship with the companions? Who, if anyone, did your prophet romance?

they’re her very good friends who she is also crushing on hard. yeah, both of em. she ended up with jespar kind of by default because i wasn’t making an effort to specifically target either of them but i kind of like the contrast between them so i’m gonna leave that in the Canon Playthrough Bin.

39. Was there any non-companion character that they were close to? That they particularly disliked?

does ryneus count? she would have taken him back to the sun temple and had the few green shirts left alive help her build some method of locomotion for him if she could have. also she had a crush on lishari. she didn’t have anyone she strongly disliked other than obvious shitbirds like taranor.

40. How do they feel about myrads?

she thinks they’re Big Cute Dog Monster Boys

41. What dreams or ambitions did they have before coming to Enderal? What about afterwards?

she wanted to be an archaeologist! she kind of got to do archaeologist stuff during her time in enderal but she wishes that she’d been able to do it without an apocalyptic sword of damocles hanging over her

42. Do they like cities? Or do they prefer the country? Is there a region of Enderal that they like or dislike more than the others?

she doesn’t necessarily dislike city life because she often gets lonely so living somewhere with a big population is always a tempting thought, but if she could take everyone she loves and go live somewhere peaceful where there’s no oppressive government or looming apocalypse she would.

her ideal Cottage Away From All The Bad Things would be in the goldenforst but she loves the crystal forest even though if she gets too close to the crystals it makes her feel like her brain is trying to vibrate out of her skull.

43. What do they do to lower their considerable stress?

go on walks in one of the numerous beautiful locations in enderal. take apart inactive mechanical constructs and try to understand their inner workings from their guts. press flowers.

44. Describe their perfect day off.

wake up from a nightmare-free sleep (you said “perfect”), go on a nice walk around the city (paying a visit to the museum of course!), meet up with her friends and find something fun to do that won’t put them in mortal danger, get drunk at the dancing nomad when it gets too dark for wandering around outside the city to be a good idea, and then watch the stars.

45. List three of their favorite things. Three things they hate?

likes:

sugar bread

the color gold

nice scenery

dislikes:

cooked cabbage

mead

bugs

46. What’s in their pockets?

emergency healing potion

herbs for making another emergency healing potion

at least one apple

random flowers that look cool

a ton of those vendor trash crystal coins you find in pyrean ruins. she just thinks they’re neat!

47. Pets? Mounts? Treasured possessions?

she’s never really had a lot she could hold on to and the thought of prizing a short-lived animal or an item that’s easy to lose is frightening.

48. How are their cooking skills?

NOT FUCKIN GOOD

(she can cook meat alright but anything more complex than that? no)

49. Do you consider any particular quest or side quest to be definitive for your prophet? Which one(s) and why?

i bulldozed through the main quest on my first playthrough; i’ll probably be able to answer this question better once the steam release drops and i can replay the game.

50. How forgiving are they? For example, if they were yelled at in a brothel after searching high and low for this little sh*t, how would they react?

first of all, everyone has a different reaction to traumatic experiences and sometimes that reaction isn’t “palatably sad and helpless” so jot that down. that being said, fleur was extremely upset about that because a) she’s also not an “uwu soft helpless cinnamon roll” kind of trauma survivor, b) some of what he said was generally hurtful, and c) that entire mission had already been one big long anxiety attack

but she’s too hyperempathetic to hold a grudge, especially when a) she knows where the person who hurt her was coming from, b) she gets a sincere apology, and c) she is more than a little in love with the person doing the apologizing.

51. What do they think of the Veiled Woman?

uh. mixed feelings. for what it’s worth, her feelings are mixed because they started out negative and then once she actually got to talk to the veiled woman her opinion strongly improved but like...sirius still died right in front of her because of this woman’s actions so they’ll never be fully positive.

52. If they had been a victim of one of the black stones, how would it have affected them? What would they have used its power to accomplish?

[slams huge portfolio of ideas i’ve had about this exact scenario on your desk] well y’see fleur as she is in canon is a brand of yandere that only technically qualifies as such: she won’t kidnap or murder people who reject her advances, but...uh...don’t harm her loved ones and expect mercy.

fleur under the influence of the black stones...well. it’d be very much like this except not Literally Directed Toward A Fucking Relative. esp the “well you found out now all i can hope for from you is to see your face one last time as you kill me” ending. not quite full yuno gasai love-me-or-i’ll-slaughter-you giggling while hacking someone up but. you know. Something Adjacent.

53. What was their reaction to the Black Guardian’s revelations? Do they accept or reject his offer?

she just kind of emotionally shut down. it was a lot to take in, esp for her. she took him up on his offer because by that point she was desperate for everything she’d gone through to mean something.

54. How does their story end?

credits rolled on her sitting on the edge of the star city with jespar. while the credits rolled i was staring into the void thinking about my life. not sure if that’s canon, next playthrough i’m gonna do a hard save before the final decision point and see if catharsis leaves me feeling less empty inside.

55. Do they change over the course of the story? In what ways?

she becomes a lot more confident and sure of herself and even though she never stops being an optimist she learns to stop setting herself on fire to keep others warm.

56. Anything else you’d like to share about them?

she’s so cautiously positive because she was written as a foil to my shadowgod alessia, a textbook nihilist who only got worse after the events of nehrim.

57. Bonus: For you- what are you most excited for in Forgotten Stories?

VEILED WOMAN BACKSTORY

#this took me literally nine hours to finish #tbf one of those hours i was in class #enderal #uh. canon-typical triggering content within.

[anime-matchmaker-blog]

match up with a haikyuu, knb and ao no exorcist male pls? I'm a 160cm cancerian ambivert-NFP girl with long black wavy hair, curvy body, who loves cuddles n getting spoiled but i have my mood swings. Im a very romantic, cheesy n friendly person, loud, cheerful, can be extremely weird once u get to know me. I wear my emotions at my sleeve and is VERY easy to please. Despite being a fun-loving, carefree girl at times, im mature enough to lend my older sisters a shoulder when they need it. (cont-)

(-cont) I love dancing, reading/writing poetry, swimming, extreme sports, beaches, animals n going in road trips. Im adventurous but have my lazy days where i spend the whole day doing nothing in bed. Im a strong girl, i survived chemotherapy bfore. I dont judge, read people like an open book and try my best to be kind to everyone, im a very emotional n sensitive person. I have adult ADHD which comes with depression n anxiety. I have days where i breakdown n need constant reassurements. (cont-)

(-cont) im polite and respectful to people esp elderly people. I love talking, i can talk about a lot of things, ranging from stupid topics to questioning the world’s existence, to cheesy/sappy shit to deep life conversations. I get along with ppl of all ages. I LOVE my friends (note most of them are childhood friends and are guys, bcus guys have less drama), they spoil me which will prob make my bf jealous. THANKS GUYS!

Sorry for the wait! Thanks for your patience and I hope you’ll like your matchups C:

Your matchups are…:

Haikyuu!! - Sugawara Koushi

Suga’s first impression of you is that you’re no stranger to guys. He sees you around school often, always with an entourage of guys who you appear to be friendly and close to. At first, he’s just someone in the background and you don’t notice him - he’s just another pretty boy, after all. You don’t see him completely until you run into him on the street and he reaches a hand out to you as he introduces himself. You remember who he is and you let him walk you home. The silence is awkward, but you keep a steady stream of questions flowing and by the time you reach your home, both of you are laughing and friendly to one another. Suga says he’ll see you around before heading off.

Somehow, Suga gets sucked into your existing pool of friends, but he manages to stand out because of his attractiveness and charm. He enjoys your weirdness and your playfulness, but he can also sense your serious side, especially when it comes to touchy subjects with your friends or in school. He walks home with you when he doesn’t have practice and you make every walk last longer by taking detours or alternate routes. Suga contributes to this by making his own journeys through the neighborhood and the two of you begin to discover elements about the community you never knew existed. These walks are never quiet now - you’re always talking, always engaging in Suga in a variety of topics. His range of knowledge helps when it comes to the random subject changes.

There are days when you and Suga are at one another’s houses simply working on homework or reading, days when you two are out and about running rampant in the city, and days when you’re planning road trips to get out of the city. Whenever you seem to have a bad day, Suga drops everything and marches over to you to make sure you have company and necessary essentials. Sometimes he won’t be able to make it because of volleyball so your other friends take charge, but their care isn’t the same as his. Suga is the team mom, after all.

Your closeness with Suga appears to be the same as with your other guy friends so when the shift occurs, neither of you notice. Suga is first to confess his feelings though and he insists that no matter how you feel about him, he’ll always love you.

OtsuboTaisuke (Kuroko no Basuke): His height and appearance might makehim appear rather intimidating at first, but he’s actually pretty friendly andisn’t that hard to approach. Your talkativeness actually makes it rather easyfor the two of you to get friendlier with each other since there’s always some mundanetopic you can use as conversation fodder. While at first, Otsubo will merely greetyou upon seeing you around the school since that’s the polite thing to do, butafter having a few conversations with you, those casual greetings will turninto longer talks between the two of you. He won’t mind listening to whateverit is you have to say, finding the majority of the topics you decide to bringup to be interesting though sometimes he can’t help but wonder how those sort of topics end up beingchosen. Your politeness and respect towards others definitely is a part of youthat Otsubo finds admirable since that can’t be said about some people. Plus,with how easy it is to get along with you, you’re certainly someone Otsubowants to hang out with more.

While it’s not like the two of you have a lot in common, it’ssimply entertaining being around you and that’s more than enough for Otsubo towant to be friends with you. Though basketball is the main sport he’s into,learning about your interest in extreme sports does intrigue him and prompt himto ask you more about it and that might lead to you inviting him to try it withyou one of these days. He also wouldn’t mind going swimming with you if you’reinterested since that’s a good way to get in some exercise too. If you’reinterested and asks him, Otsubo would totally be up to teaching you or playingbasketball with you too! Since Otsubo is the captain of the basketball team, hehas responsibilities he has to tend to and practices to attend of course, sothere are often days where he can’t spend much time with you. He’d love to hearabout your adventures that you go on with your other friends though, or he’d chastiseyou a bit for lazing around in bed being unproductive but he won’t mean that ina negative way much. It’s also really refreshing how even with your fun-lovingand carefree side, you can be pretty mature when time calls for it. Sometimesbeing the captain will lead to Otsubo feeling rather stressed and it’d be niceif he could talk to you as a way to let off some steam. On the flip side,Otsubo will also be willing to lend you his ear and shoulder when you need it.

It surprises Otsubo how you wear your emotions on yoursleeve and it sort of contrasts with him. Not that he has a hard time showinghis emotions or anything but he just keeps them in check more often. It doesmake seeing how you’re feeling that day easier though but with how sensitiveand emotional you are, it can also be a bad thing since you might end up beinghurt easily. When Otsubo notices that you’re upset or feeling down, he’ll tryhis best to cheer you up. If you need someone to listen to your problems andrants, he’ll lend you an ear. If you just want someone to be there with you, he’llquickly offer to stay with you. He isn’t super affectionate or used to beingaffectionate but if it’ll help make you feel better, he could learn to enjoygiving you cuddles. Otsubo is good at lifting his teammates’ spirits on thecourt and he hopes that works off the court too since it’ll certainly come inhandy in helping you. He might be at a loss regarding what to do when yourbreakdowns occur and will turn to his friends, your friends (if he knows themor have spoken to them before) and probably the internet to help him figure outhow to help you. He wouldn’t mind providing you with the reassurance you needto feel better, as long as it helps you. Your anxiety and depression also hashim stumped since he hasn’t friended people like you before, but Otsubo isdefinitely willing to learn.

Your cheery personality rubs off on Otsubo the more he’saround you and he finds your romantic cheesy side to be quite adorable. Hedoesn’t know much about romance at all and will probably resort to the Internet(after asking Takao once and getting teased in response) to see what sort of “romantic”acts he can do for you to make you smile. Giving you chocolates and flowers arethe first thing he tries, and then if you seem okay with him being close toyou, he’ll attempt holding your hand and giving you hugs. He does feel jealous at times at how closeyou and your childhood friends are but will understand that that’s just howyour relationship with them is and won’t interfere. As long as you’re happy andyou make time to spend with him, that’s all he needs.

Ao no Exorcist - Suguro Ryuji (Bon)

At the beginning, all of your guy friends will protect you from Bon because of hos frightening he appears. You insist that it’s just his face and not much can be done to fix that…but after a while, you realize you really shouldn’t approach him. He’s loud, rash, competitive…yup, you should definitely keep your distance. Despite this, you still run into him in the halls sometimes and he doesn’t pay you attention, so you try to not look at him either. Still, when he accidentally runs into you and makes you drop your supplies, he takes the time to help you pick them up and make sure you’re okay before continuing on his way. Maybe he isn’t so bad after all.

His academic prowess is outstanding and you’re surprised to hear that he’s at the top of his class. Since none of your friends can rival him, you decide to approach Bon and ask him to tutor you in your weaker subjects. He tries to shrug you off by recommending you to another student, but his own friends persuade him to take you on. You can tell he’s serious about the schoolwork so you keep your playfulness down during the tutoring sessions. Afterwards, you do what you can to loosen Bon up by taking him to your favorite stores or on walks to your favorite hiding spots. He’s still uptight and serious during class, but once school is over and no one else is around, he relaxes around you and even though he doesn’t quite admit it, he loves the playful side of you.

In your downtime, the two of you can be found reading a lot. You can’t get Bon to read anything other than bibles and holy scripts, so you read poetry to him in exchange for listening to him recite fatal verses. Bon is capable of keeping up with your shenanigans, which makes up for his lack of talkativeness - he’s a big-mouth, but when it comes to nonsensical things or philosophical subjects, he tends to be quiet. He’s also great at perceiving emotions so he’ll be able to tell if you’re having a bad day or not. He’s still working on comforting you though, so your other friends will have to school him in that department.

Relationships and friendships are pretty much the same to Bon, so his friends have to help spell out his feelings for you. He doesn’t exactly confess and when he does, he stutters and mumbles the words. It doesn’t matter too much to him if you don’t return his feelings…so long he’s able to remain as your friend, he’s happy to be whatever you want him to be.

#Haikyuu!! #Sugawara Koushi #Kuroko no Basuke #Otsubo Taisuke #Ao no Exorcist #Suguro Ryuji #beautifulstrnger #matchups #request #request collsb #sara's stuff #Stella writes

[pussiehands1]

meta #2 ; // LOVE.

            For reasons this is going to be a jumbled mess but I’ll try and sort it out in appropriate sections, because of how complicated the entire subject is in general it’s going to be difficult concluding everything which means I’ll be ranting about this until the end of time. Covering topics will most likely include family, friends (Charlie/Dee), Religion/Carmen and in a nice special header of his own Dennis. The majority of them overlap and link together and it may drift off from time to time, I am not sorry. This is under a read more because it’s 9 years long.

Family.

                   While it would be easy to place all of Mac’s problems down to his family, it is shown from pretty early on that Mac had a semi-normal childhood. His Mom was a manager, his Dad (although a drug dealer) was somewhat around for the important holidays and from what’s shown he is generally happy. My assumption, based on very light evidence, is that at some point when Luther went to jail, Mrs Mac lost her job or was forced to quit to look after Mac. This resulted in some kind of depression and possibly some resentment towards her son.

                     Saying that, from what’s shown in the later seasons she and Luther clearly have some hostility towards each other, even if it is passive. As he would have been on drugs/heavily involved in drugs it’s not hard to assume that they would have argued about it esp. in regards to Mac. She would have been at work all day and Luther was at home with the kid. Given his lack of interest and with his attention on drugs, Mac would have spent the majority of the time alone. His entire childhood would have been built within imagination and lack of understanding. Neglect on a child has huge emotional development impacts and can result in emotional instability.

( side note:                       Mac has a terrible habit of doing shit karate when he’s excited but it’s a comfort thing. If for example as a child Mac watched something like the Karate Kid, on a base level the movie is about learning how to fit in and also sort of being ‘rescued’ by an older and wiser figure. At the age of eight or nine, a child that is subjected to something like neglect and parental divorce, it stimulates that fulfilment. It becomes his comfort and he gets that feeling of security. Children can sometimes find that in a toy or a blanket or something they had as a child, Mac’s just so happens to be something that can’t be taken away. )

                     As the years go on, Mac learns how to develop a sort of language with his mother and how to remain hopeful with his father. Under 18s are typically only allowed to visit prisoners with an adult and if things were rough between his mom and his dad, she’s certainly not going to take him. While it would be easy to disregard Mac’s love for his father given how shitty his attitude was, you’d also have to be aware of other considerable factors going on in his life. One of the strongest is his friendship with Charlie. Now compare Mrs Kelly’s relationship with Charlie to Mac’s with his Mom. She’s concerned, she’s overly affectionate and she’s almost paranoid about Charlie’s welfare. Say one day that Mac goes over there and she begins to comfort him and make sure he’s eating and making sure he’s happy while he’s there. His mind goes to; Why isn’t my Mom like this? Why can’t my Dad be like this?

                     Mac’s incredibly perceptive, as stupid as he appears, and a child that is learning would be able to pick up that his mom is depressed. He understands the difference between someone not loving him and someone who is unable to love him in that moment. Mac begins to communicate on her level, he begins to protect her as the ‘man’ of the house, he takes on the responsibility of making sure that she’s okay and he becomes the adult within their dynamic. Mac learned how to grow up from a very young age and he’s learned how to take the least from people and make it into something better. He looks for this both in how his Dad acts towards him and how his mother interacts with him.

Friends.

                  The main focus of this is going to be on Charlie. Their dynamic, when they’re younger and when they’re older, revolves around supporting each other’s ideas, developing them and then following them through. Mac to Charlie is like a big brother, despite being younger, and much like with his mother he takes care of Charlie - aka he makes sure he’s not doing stupid stuff like eating paint.

                     Often he speaks as the word of authority for Charlie, establishing boundaries but he also encourages Charlie to break free from them. He’s incredibly easy to manipulate into an idea so if something sounds right then it has to be right, because why wouldn’t it be? Mac agrees with Charlie on a lot of questionable stuff and more often then not the other members of the gang don’t understand their bond or how they reached a conclusion. As mentioned before, Mac is perceptive when it comes to language (verbal/body) and his ability to understand Charlie is because in his mind, Charlie’s helped him understand a lot about what he believes he’s missing and in turn, it gives them the ability to help each other.

                    While Charlie did have love and did have affection as a child, Charlie is just - if not more - messed up then he is. Mac can draw the lines and leap over conclusions that can have him justifying his parents actions, he was loved and it’s not love that was missing because if it was then when is Charlie like he is? Mac wouldn’t have been exposed completely to what Mrs Kelly was doing to Charlie just as Charlie would have never been exposed to the stuff that Mrs Mac was doing. (side note: It’s also very interesting to note that both of their mothers are defined as being their mothers (Barbara is given a name, separating her from parenthood, Mrs Mac/Ms Kelly(Charlie’s mom) is more often not)).

                     Emotionally, Charlie gives Mac everything that he wants. He’s unconditional in giving love, he’s understanding in his mind frame, he comes from the same kind of ‘broken’ home he does. While it may be too extra to delve too into the details of the Nightman/Dayman debate of things, its certainly interesting to consider Charlie’s version of the dayman is a man that is friends with everybody and a master of karate. While I don’t think he’s talking about Mac, I do think he’s showing admiration for Mac (by describing him as being a part of him). Regardless, Mac’s loyalty wavers when physical intimacy comes in (and this will be developed later).

                       His relationship with Dee is much different and while I do believe he does love her in his own weird fucking awful way, his hatred is formed on his own idea of masculine/feminine and Dee’s rejection of that and his understanding of it. Mac’s development in S12 certainly hints that he’s unlearning a lot of that mindset but that’s a headcanon for a different time.

Religion.

                  Mac’s obsession with religion has always been hinted at and explored briefly in comments he’s made but never developed until (I think it’s like Season 6 Episode 1+). He has things around his bedroom like photos, little statues but from what I can remember he’s not as forward about the entire thing until this very episode. Mac’s relationship with Religion works in offering him safety and it offers a backdrop defence. His opposition of gays is shown when he finds out Carmen is married to a man. Mac’s been gay since the dawn of time and in S1 he has no problem in trying to ‘seduce’ a gym coach to prove that he’s ‘pretty enough’, so I find it hard to believe outside of his masculine ideology that he’s that against it. So no matter what anybody says, Mac adored Carmen, she was everything and he’s defended on multiple occasions his decision to date her despite what the other members of the gang say. He even goes so far as saying that his mom would love her.

                  When he finds out she’s married his mind skips to every justification he can find because that’s what he does and he tries to devalue her relationship. It’s not real because it’s gay, it’s not real because God doesn’t see it as real when what Mac really means is ‘it’s not real because it’s not with me’. This was his first love and it’s a heartbreak that he just doesn’t understand because love has never been explicitly given to him, not one that was emotional, mental and physical all at once. If the Bible can justify why it’s not right then why should he question it.

                    Mac breaks a lot of goddamn rules in the Bible and yet he consistently reverts back to homosexuality as the key message. Obviously this is satire on the general bigotry that’s spouted by bible lovers, but the fact he draws such interest onto that part shows a couple of things, the main one being that Mac does not know how to love himself. He cannot fathom somebody calling him gay or saying he’s slept with a man because his fall back says that’s wrong. He makes a comment about how if god was real he wouldn’t have made him queer or something like that and that pretty much sums it up.

                    By surrounding and continuously commenting on homosexuality, Mac is able to remind himself who he’s not allowed to be. ‘I don’t want to be me, can I be someone else’. He can love God unconditionally and be loved unconditionally so long as he remains in his same mindset. During the later season it’s shown that Mac even goes so far as to physically harm himself as punishment for his sin (The Gang Goes To Hell), believing that is what God would want. These orders and these rules are what he was missing as a child, God becomes his Father and his Father will lead him to the path of righteousness.

Dennis.

                 Which leads onto the final point. Dennis is by all means the opposite and yet the same as Mac. His features, his intelligence, his upbringing, his understanding of the world and (as we move into S13) his emotions. Mac and Dennis pose such a parallel to each other that they become co-dependant. Both of them lean on each other for emotional need but in very different ways. Dennis’ love is formed with touches or with reassurance, Mac’s love is formed in giving and in the care that he administers.

                   Because of Mac’s childhood, because of his understanding of unconditional love and his understanding of how people work, he’s able to believe that Dennis loves him (in whatever capacity), he just can’t show it. Dennis screams at him, scratches his, manipulates him, does whatever he wants, but to Mac that’s no different to his Mom passively grunting or telling him to move. Neglect as a child has made him believe that this is an acceptable way to love and to be loved, Dennis doesn’t have to say it back if he believes it to be true for this exact reason.

                  Now unlike his mother, Mac is aware that Dennis does have a problem with his emotions and would most likely actively encourage Dennis to take medication to at least help him. It’s then during S11/S12 we see this development of Dennis telling Mac on numerous occasions that he hates him. While that’s more to do with Dennis then Mac, it has to be understood that Mac himself is going through his own changes emotionally/religiously/sexually. Mac starts to become more dependent on Dennis as he believes he’s making progress. Now while I’ve always believed that Mac thinks his relationship with Dennis is more than ‘just friends’ since they live together, take care of each other and do everything together, he vocalises that the most near the latter series. In Mac’s stories him and Dennis are always together, sleeping together, having dinner parties together - and as he becomes more confident in his status as a gay man, he becomes more aware of how close their relationship really is.

              Dennis and Mac have always explained as being together, even in school, like Charlie - Dennis is a constant. He’s helped create a home for Mac, one where he has his own space and then their space together. Mac had no money when moving into that apartment and so it’s in Dennis’ name, he allows Mac to stay there. Mac takes Dennis’ shirts and cuts the sleeves off. Mac believes this means Dennis cares. When Dennis touches his face and calms him down, that’s the love he saw from Charlie’s Mom, when Dennis calls him names like ‘baby boy’ its reassuring to that childlike part of his personality that never had that and so he grows with this substitute love that’s being given to him.

               Mac becomes so eager to grasp onto this love that he agrees with Dennis in very simple ways, and actively goes out of his way to make sure Dennis knows (one of the ones being where Charlie chooses Mac as his best friend and Mac wakes up Dennis in the middle of the night to let him know that they’re best friends). Actively caring for his emotions also interchanges with Mac caring for Dennis physically, even getting him something to eat when he finds out that Dennis isn’t eating. To Mac, it draws direct parallel to his childhood with his mother (the only person he had that he knows cares for him) and that means safety, it means home, it means family.

               To Mac, he doesn’t need Dennis to justify his feelings towards him, he doesn’t need large acts of kindness because that’s not what he’s used to (though he does worry about this: Being Frank). He’s used to how Dennis loves, he’s had it all through childhood/teenage years/adulthood, the only thing he needs is for Dennis to be there and with the events of S12 and especially the ending, I suspect their dynamic is going to shift considerably with Mac learning that love is not only mutual but also visible from both parties.

#ᶤ ᵈᵒᶰᵗ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵉᶰᵒᵘᵍʰ ᶠᵃᶜᵗˢ ᵗᵒ ˢᵘᵖᵖᵒʳᵗ ᵐʸ ᵃʳᵍᵘᵐᵉᶰᵗ : headcanon #{ this was originally posted on my multi at @spoiledmoments } #{ just encase you thought i was up in here stealing headcanons like some kind of common thief }

[space-cops]

Every odd question fir Sangriel!!!

boyhowdy text wall ahoy. i didnt bother editing this or reading over it so oops theres gonna be mistakes. answers below the cut 0:

1) Sangriel Amato Heartspell. His name doesn't mean much of anything, besides Amato meaning beloved in Italian. San's surname was originally Keldaris (of Loretta Keldaris, wife of Gia Realdor, who took on her surname) until he changed it after his family's. problematic escapades. 

3) He had a pretty fucking nice childhood. He grew up well off, took all sorts of classes and extracuriculars, all that shit. San's actually a skilled ballerino and is quite fond of dance as a whole. One of his fondest memories is his mother helping him with stage makeup for the first time. San's worst memory is the loss of his grandparents during the attack on Silvermoon. 

5) Sangriel has no siblings but many, many, MANY, cousins. So fucking many. He grew up with all of them, so to him they may as well be brothers and sisters. All of them got along very well and though he doesn't talk to many of them anymore, they're all still on good terms (as far as he knows).

7) He and Mesdrea are childhood friends!! After the attack on Silvermoon, her family moved south towards Southshore, and his family remained in Eversong.  He had no idea whether or not she or her family had survived until he leaves home and decides to travel to learn more about the arcane. Mesdrea was part of the Syndicate at the time and he joined her there. When the organization started going off the deep end, the two bailed out and returned to Silvermoon together. 

9) He is not fond of animals, so of course they read that and immediately pile onto him. Sangriel isnt particularly good at caring for pets which is the real reason why he isnt fond of them. He'd honestly love to have a fish if he didnt think he'd accidentally starve it to death. 

11) No diet requirements! This terrible boy is a walking garbage disposal.

13) He hates cabbage and cauliflower in all forms. terrible. bad foods.

15) San got his father's skills for cooking, which is to say he's..... not the best. He isn't terrible though! He's got a handful of dishes he can cook very well! Just dont expect him to cook dinner all the time and have it be completely edible.

17) Oh fuck yes. Selfies, pictures of dumb things he finds, loooots of pictures of bodies of water esp waterfalls. Half the time he doesnt share them he just likes hoarding the photos to look at alone later. San's not shy or embarrassed by them he just doesn't wanna share.

19) San hates existential "We are stardust and eternal" sorts of things. He feels that most of the time they are disingenuous strings of words pulled out of the asses of people who think they're holier than thou. also theyre boring. 

21) He doesn't necessarily have a temper that is constant but he's very easily riled up. When he's angery he's more likely to lash out with words and snide remarks than anything physical, especially if he knows something particularly damning about the person in question. It takes a lot to get him to that point though. He'll bitch and whine and yell loooong before that.

23) San likes firm mattresses, and would sleep on the floor if mesdrea didnt insist on him having something between him and the hardwood. He doesn't snore, but is drawn to heat sources aka anyone with the misfortune of sharing a bed with him, and clings to them desperately. He sleeps with Only One Pillow, and mesdrea thinks there's something wrong with him for it.

25) He doesn't think he's terribly funny, though Mesdrea loves his sarcastic sense of humor (san thinks she's biased bc they're friends). Sangriel loves witty humor, and though he won't admit it, will absolutely laugh at a properly timed and/or worded crude joke. 

27) San frequently has moods where he feels as if he's accomplished nothing with his life (you're still so young, his mother always says!) and it throws him into a funk for a couple days at a time. He'll cry somewhere towards the end of it after everything's sort of come to a head, and he does very little to hide it. Normally he'll end up snapping at the smallest things, like not being able to open a package or dropping something on the floor. At that point he kind of just spends the day sobbing on and off until it's out of his system. He's a little dramatic but its still genuine sadness :(

29) If any teasing is done it's minimal. Normally San won't do either, but he leans towards being more protective if the person in question is someone he's fond of. Teasing would consist of a tasteful joke at most when he first finds out, and nothing more. It's mostly to try and get the person to smile, though he knows it won't always work. 

31) San absolutely drinks, and is actually terrible at holding his liquor. He gets drunk fast then crashes and burns not long after. He's actually a fairly fun drunk, and loses the insecurities he has that makes him quick to snap and anger when sober. San's a miserable person hungover and tends to spend that time hiding under blankets and pillows alone. He won't admit it but he mother hens those around him that are drunk or hungover while he's sober, though he's not above intentionally making loud noise when Mesdrea is hungover bc she does the same to him. 

33) It depends on what he's wearing. Lounging around or going out it might be boxerbriefs. Some stupid tight pants?? probably some small bikini/thong thing?? of course he wears lacy shit on special occassions though. Of Course. Who do you think We Are.

35) Guilty pleasure is thrifting, esp for clothing he can alter. A totally not-guilty pleasure is sitting on the balcony of drea's flat with a bottle of wine and tossing tiny bits of food out to the birds. he keeps score of how many pieces of food end up in someone's hair/hat too. he has to. 

37) San is actually an avid reader, mostly of non-fiction and esp arcane theory. If he reads anything fictional it's science fiction. Asshole looks dumb as fuck but he's well read. 

39) He loveslovesloves sending letters and messages to people. Mesdrea was the only person he spoke to for a long time at one point and it was only through letters. It's special to him idk

41) San's solidly Gay. Really Really Gay. He just finds?? Lots of things attractive and in no specific way/shape/form. San would say he doesn't have a type and he's right. He's pretty bad with relationships though. The intimacy that's involved kinda...bugs him.. and it mostly has to do with his own insecurities and self-worth. Maybe if he found someone that helps with that he'd? be in a relationship? But for now he's 100% fine with flings. They make him happy.

43) He's not very religious. The light's cool and all. Naaru look neat. The moon is rad so Elune is too, he supposes. An'she is chill. It's just stuff he doesnt want to concern himself with. 

45) People that don't know him see him as an overdramatic, flashy, pompous asshole and they're not wrong! He absolutely is, but that's all they see. People who have been robbed by him see a strange thief that somehow used magic to steal in broad daylight. Mesdrea sees him as someone who is actually a very loving person that is particularly good at making masks to hide who he actually is and how he actually feels. San tries very hard to see himself as someone who is good and worthy of, well, good in return. But most of the time he only sees what's wrong with himself and the things he's done and then ignores all the good, so over time he created the grand facade of this amazing illusionist thief that regrets nothing and cares for nobody and looks Fabulous™ doing it. 

47) San has a love/hate relationship with formal settings. He loves the pomp and circumstance of it all, the dressing up, all the fake bullshit and the backstabbing. He hates that his family isn't able to enjoy the things they used to, though, and that's because their father had them basically ostracised out of their social circles and then gambled all their wealth away :\\\ So he loves them, but hates that he can't share that fun with his family, so he doesn't attend anything formal.

49) The copper ring his mother gave him is most prized possession. She gave it to him on his 20th birthday. The runes on it are a small blessing, Light's Strenth. He'd been planning on running off without a word, but his mom is pretty in tune with his antics and she stopped him as he was leaving to give him the ring. His mother's fairly religious so the ring means a lot to her, and while Sangriel is not, the ring is still incredibly important. When he knows he can't safely wear it on his hand, he keeps it on a copper chain.

#sangriel heartspell #ask replies #text #oc's #mori-sketchbook

[robotlesbianjavert]

*invasive asks, don't have to answer if you don't want* I keep wondering what is the appeal of slasher movies (nothing wrong with them, just not my thing)? I never read The Cursed Child, what's that about and what do you like about it?

these are good questions don’t worry xoxo

a) i can’t actually explain my penchant for slasher movies in a tumblr-wise moral manner, bc obviously slasher is a genre that tends to be filled with shit like fetishization and a demonization of mental illness and whatever else i can’t list it all right now it’s just a very flawed genre.  so i can’t really discuss it on that kind of intellectually moral level - they are very much a guilty pleasure that i feel i’m permitted.

the thing is that they are such a cheesy b-movie genre that it’s hard to be feel supremely guilty about it?  obviously they’ve gained some mainstream focus that necessitates serious discussion about various harmful shit going on, and i could go more into it if prompted and if i consider myself capable, but they are also SO DUMB.  not dumb some are smart-ish but you always know what to expect from them, you can always expect some dumb caricatures to get slaughtered, expect some final girl expy to limp their way to survival, you can expect the build up, and if there’s a surprise then that’s just an extra treat.  i guess it’s kind of cathartic, being able to exorcise some of my more serious anxieties through them, even when they get positively decadent in the blood and gore and sadism

i guess that while i also like horror as a general genre and am super happy to discuss horror films that take themselves more seriously (ie babadook, get out, that kind of stuff i sincerely believe that horror has great potential for commentary that often gets overlooked or underdeveloped), it’s a bit easier to latch onto singular slasher villains fandom-wise (your michael’s and jason’s and i guess the freddy’s altho freddy can go choke) than it is for more concept-based horrors, bc you don’t NECESSARILY have to take them seriously and you can just have some fun with them (altho they do have their place in a serious discussion, like how michael and jason are horrors that stalk otherwise safe environments, or how freddy is literally thematically about violation)

it’s hard to really explain in a justifiable way rather than a guilty-pleasure way, and i can’t really argue that i’m somehow a morally superior person for liking them and i don’t want to bc that’s dumb and exhausting.  they just tend to be fun i guess.

b) okay so what cursed child is about is essentially the relationship between harry and his son, albus severus, and how they are both essentially similar in ways that, coupled with harry’s complicated legacy and upbringing, drive them apart and eventually bring them back together, particularly in their opinions on hogwarts - this results in albus jr attempting to one-up his father via what albus understands as his first failure (cedric’s death) through time travel.  things escalate from there.

honestly i think that cursed child is a really important continuation of the themes and lessons from the main harry potter series in a more grown-up sense, and i really hate how it’s been spoiled on this site by a bunch of dumb spoilers that never fit well out of context.

like part of the problem i think is that a lot of ppl online tend to a) overidealize harry as some sassy angel child and b) try to freeze him at 11-17 years old rather than consider how his adolescent experiences might map onto who is is as an adult father.  so when he says “sometimes i wish you weren’t my son”, they decide to ignore the context leading up to that moment (albus essentially needling and baiting harry and accidentally touching upon triggers relating to his past abuse, and the two of them essentially having two different conversations) and then everything afterwards (harry’s horror and guilt over speaking in a moment of anger and spite, as he was prone to in the main series, and his desperation to protect and apologize to albus in a time where he’s triggered for a sustained period of time and afraid that his greatest enemy is somehow returning), and decide to declare that jkr must not know her own characters if she dares to write harry as a “bad dad”.  as much as ppl like to try and discuss how terrible it was for harry to suffer abuse at the dursley’s, they sure seem to want to underestimate how it affects him in the long run.  and by fuck does cursed child dig into what harry went through with the dursley’s, particularly petunia!  he’s having nightmares about her and this gets discussed and ppl still like to act like this play misrepresents how he suffered!  it’s so fucking stupid!

i guess i also can’t really lie - i initially bought into all the bad hype surrounding the play when spoilers were released, tho i hope in a more muted way than a lot of ppl i followed, and i only really got interested when i read a particularly moving think-piece about snape, and then i knew i had to have it bc i cannot stress enough how snape was One Of Those Characters that i latched onto in my childhood, and how it felt good to be a bit vindicated in the face of how this website trashes him.  also i cried a lot w snape bc it’s such good closure for his character, it helps you understand how his character potentially developed in the light of the main series, and also i got a better understanding of dumbledore too like you got the impression after the kings cross chapter in dh but when he admitted his insecurities re: how he only hurts the ppl he loves in cc?  it literally like blew his character wide open for me, it really helped me piece together a lot of the things i was unsure about with him.  so i also think it provides a lot of retroactive understanding and clarification of the characters that some ppl like to deliberately misinterpret for notes 

also ppl’s complaints about the time-travel plots are fucking stupid to be perfectly honest, esp in comparison to POA.  first off, poa did hint that it’s possible to change the timeline, cc established that we are working with very different time-travel tools than in poa, and thirdly in poa time-travel was a plot device and in cc it’s a thematic device so who even gives a fuck honestly.

basically: i think the play is a vital and important continuation and conclusion of the original series and its thematic elements, and if ppl don’t like then what the fuck ever but at least they can try to dislike it on legitimate grounds rather than things they heard secondhand or deliberately misinterpreted/decided didn’t fit with their headcanon

i can actually talk like.  a lot about this play bc there was a lot of what i liked and what i think tumblr should like if everyone could carefully remove their heads from their asses.  there are a few things i think could have been improved (while i don’t think it was necessarily baiting, i do believe scorpius/albus was a sorely missed opportunity), the play is more positive than it negative and i would kill to see it onstage.  i guess if ppl don’t like reading script it’s fine but honestly i loved the script, but i’m also fairly used to reading script so idk

also it justified my belief that hermione would be an awful teacher and i feel vindicated even tho i have not seen anyone talk about it tbh

also it made my mother cry (in a good way) and she loved it and that’s literally all the assurance anyone should need. my mom’s a good person and everyone should trust her.

#noasaurus #i also kind of read cursed child in the aftermath of a drunken intimate conversation with my mother #that really made me look at parent-child relationships and how complicated they could be #so maybe i was just predisposed towards the themes? #idk anyways SORRY FOR THE LONG ANSWER I LOVE YOU #if anything seems incomplete it's bc i'm on the toilet and mentally scattered #long post /

[attina-the-responsible]

1, 4, 8, 14, 21, 24, 28, 42, 45, 50 - All, or whoever speaks to you for each one

jesus fucking christ.

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Belle: Belle Marie Beauton – belle bc it means “beauty” and also, tech, her mom’s name was charisse which means “grace” and she was like into a #theme. marie bc it sounded nice, is also probably maurice’s mom.

Simba: Onyango Simba Lyons – onyango bc it means “born in the morning” and simba because it means “lion/warrior”. 

Toulouse: Toulouse Henri Bonfamille – why did ber get hector’s name as his middle name and not lou? /waves hand lou was named after the artiste of course! tres bien. 

Bambi: Bambino Daryl Basurto – bambino is basically like “my little one”, it’s an affectionate italian term tho it’s also used in other parts of europe. daryl means “deer” sooo his full name lowkey translates to “little deer of the forest”

Perdita: Perdita Mariel Faye – all of perdy and her sibs are named after shakespeare characters bc her mom is #obsessed. edmund, perdita, rosaline, and ophelia. perdy was named after her mother’s first role on broadway. mariel is jewish – it is a variant of mary, which means “wished-for child/bitter” soo

Sweet: Joshua Strongbear Sweet – named joshua because his parents liked it. his middle name used to be quietcub, but after he came back from his spirit quest it became strongbear after the animal that guided him. (also look i looked up if spirit quests were still a thing in the tribe sweet comes from and they ARE so don’t @ me pls)

Maui: Maru Akalana – he doesn’t have a middle name. maru means “correct” apparently, but in the original myths of maui maru is one of the names of maui’s brothers. (or it is his name when he is human before he gets abandoned i foRGet it’s been a hot minute)

Hercules: Hercules Odysseus Persaud – herc doesn’t know where his first name came from, only that his birth mother gave it to him. he was named after two greek heroes, ofc cuz his mom is a big nerd.

Attina: Attina Morgan Triton – attina is a derivative of athena and morgan means “sea chief” or “sea defender” and since she would be in line for the “crown” so to speak, it made sense.

Akela: Akela of the Seeonee Wolf Pack – seeonee is the name taken from the area where the pack sort of officially “formed” and akela means LONELY LMFAO i just looked it up that’s hilarious.

Peach: Peach Blossom Clearwater – literally constructed her name. she just liked the idea of peach blossom–and she made her fake mom have a flower name too. and clearwater she straight up stole from harry potter.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

Belle: well, belle never really knew her mother and her relationship with her father is estranged.

Simba: big ole momma’s boy. he loves his mom, though their relationship is a little tense these days. loved his dad a lot, his Biggest Hero, but his dad also put a lot of pressure on him and basically brainwashed him oops.

Toulouse: loves his mummy, tho he has a deep seated resentment towards her that is just now coming to light, but general he is like #mustprotect. had an extremely contentious relationship with his father as a child, the best thing for their relationship was not living together lol. lou can tolerate his father for short periods of time and even gets along w him 90% of the time, but he has a deep seated resentment towards him too lmao

Bambi: ughhhhhhhh he loved his mommmmm his mom was his best friend they did everything together. they were never apart. esp bc he was homeschooled a good bit and he was sick. she doted on him and i cry. he is still getting to know his dad but he loves him.

Perdita: really contentious relationship w mom. she was verbally abusive and neglectful, held perdy to a hire standard than her sisters. when perdy rebels abigail just like cuts her off, punishes her in the worst ways. made comments about her weight/clothing/etc. total daddy’s girl tho, she loves her daddy.

Sweet: momma’s boy. he tends to shut her out a lot tho bc he knows things in his life would hurt her and he wants to protect her from that. didn’t really know his father but he treasures the memories he did have.

Maui: dad was verbally/physically abusive. real Macho Man–which obviously made him kind of a dick. but maui’s mom is the sweetest ugh i love kai.

Hercules: loved both his parents BUNCHES AND BUNCHES but then he found out that they lied to him for 22 years and he is still reeling from the betrayal.

Attina: athena was her best friend. she told her mom everything and wanted to be just like her when she grew up! was obviously devastated when athena died. loves her daddy, but does think he needs to chill out some.

Akela: hates them.

Peach: never knew them and never will (spoiler alert: they’re dead.)

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

Belle: Philippe! fun fact: had another horse named Royale when she was a child, but her father sold him for cash before he left. now she has: vincent the cat, philippe, and shuck! she isn’t a huge animal fan, but she likes them well enough. doesn’t go out of her way.

Simba: his mum had a persian named guinevere growing up. she was a bitch. simba and her did not get along. esp cuz simba was a handsy child lol. he begged and begged for a dog for his entire childhood, but never had one. has two beautiful goldens now–bowie and simone– and they are his literal children. loves all animals–except cats, snakes, and spiders, those are the devil’s creatures.

Toulouse: never had a pet growing up. marie has dauphine now and he’s kinda helping coparent simone. tbh should get a dog. lou ADORES animals.

Bambi: lol

Sweet: never had pets, doesn’t have time, likes them well enough

Perdita: didn’t have any pets growing up. doesn’t really like animals they’re dirty. viola has made her change her mind somewhat.

Maui: no, no, yes.

Hercules: his mom has a cat named baset after the goddess. herc loves animals, horses esp 

Akela: lol

Attina: likes animals in the abstract sense? loves sea creatures. never had a pet as a kid. has a long list of stipulations for pet as an adult.

Peach: has never had a pet. will buy a cat probably. the cat will run away bc she’s irresponsible. she will be devastated. she loves animals, except ugly ones.

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

Belle: all the food she ate in bournemouth was?? so good??

Simba: ugaliiiii, it always makes him think of kenya

Toulouse: frozen grapes are his fave, he is a picky eater lowkey

Bambi: food is the bane of his existence cuz he’s allergic to EVERYTHING

Sweet: not particularly

Perdita: misses the russian tea room in NYC it was her fave brunch spot

Maui: misses the fresh fruit in hawai’i

Hercules: one of his fave thigns to do at the places he lives is eat at the local restaurants. 

Akela: eh not really

Attina: also not particularly

Peach: eh

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

Belle: yes but it is VERY hard to trigger it. and she like??? throws things or hits u if she is really mad. she’s not gonna like punch you in the face but she’ll shove or pinch. if she yells it’s all like teary and voice cracking and pathetic. 

Simba: yes–and it’s easily triggered haha. when he’s angry he gets loud. can throw something down if he is holding it (like a dish in the sink or something) but he isn’t really physical w his anger–he’s v conscious of that fact that he is like a big bloke and that could be rly scary and his anger is scary enough. but if u really piss him off his anger can be p cold.

Toulouse: cold and scathing. lou is a master of converting his anger into like the smallest space possible, which is why he’s so good at just delivering cold, cutting lines designed to just destroy you. his father had like Big Loud anger and lou refuses to be like that. 

Bambi: doesn’t really have a temper, like–at all

Perdita: screaming/yelling/throwing/hitting–throws a tantrum when she is really pissed off.

Sweet: he has a temper but it is rarely seen. he will get Loud and Angry though. but it never lasts long. he gets more annoyed than angry.

Maui: literally like?? never gets angry–too chill.

Hercules: cries. lmao. if he is angry he just cries and like “why would u do that” sniff sniff puppy eyes

Akela: cold and level-headed anger

Peach: rarely gets angry–and if she does she’ll smile to your face and then fuck you up behind your back.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

(i love sleeping questions why?)

Belle: rn it’s shit, she barely catches a few hours. when she was sleeping reguarly she gets a good 6-7 hours. doesn’t have trouble falling asleep unless she’s trying to solve a problem. has a lumpy old mattress tbh. also she does snore a lil bit but like cute snores and only when she’s sleeping really deeply. also she normally wears like ratty tees and silky or sofie pajama shorts – in the winter like sweaters and fleece pants bc she gets cold, tho not as much of a problem now lol

Simba: sleeps in the nude. can fall asleep in .5 seconds. wakes up intermittently from nightmares–usually exacerbated by stress. wakes up at sunrise naturally almost every morning. gets like 4-5 hours usually and cat naps. idk his mattress is prolly middle ground wow do u think simber argued about their mattress bc i bet ber is a wimpy soft-mattress boi

Toulouse: has a really hard time getting to sleep and staying asleep. a ridiculously light sleeper. wakes up several times in the night. has night terrors. sleeps in, but not that long most mornings. sometimes goes days without sleep if he’s having a manic episode. soft plush mattress w lots of pillows and blankets. wears silky fancy pajamas to bed bc he’s fancy (it’s my hc that he has like adorable pjs that he wears on the lowkey with like fish patterns or something ridiculous little duckies.)

Bambi: can sleep anywhere, would sleep 20+ hours a day if allowed. growing teenage boy. snores (allergies man), will sleep on any mattress. is used to an uncomf one bc his mom couldn’t rly afford a good one.

Perdita: before the babies perdy didn’t have trouble sleeping. would totally sleep in on the weekends and such. her mom would yell at her if she slept too long. now she takes naps throughout the day to survive. hard mattress, tbh. wears fancy pjs

Sweet: sleeps in boxers/t-shirt most of the time. sleeps wherever, whenever, what is a good night’s sleep? he doesn’t know.

Maui: will sleep anywhere. in any position. in any level of undress. sleeps in briefs usually. 

Akela: sleeps in the nude tbh he like barely wears clothes anyway. can sleep a decent amount of time but never for more than like 7 hours.

Peach: a princess. she actually has a lot of trouble getting to sleep but sleeps hard once she is. wears cute pjs. likes a soft mattress. lots of pillows, only one sheet thou.

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Belle: being inadequate/being overbearing/annoying/stupid/worthless – she doesn’t get genuinely frightened that much tbh but she’s like a gasp-clutch-at-the-chest overdramatic kind of scared lol she fights through it tho

Simba: not being Good enough, in the sense of like…a good person. he also lowkey doesn’t like the dark. and he gets angry when he’s scared he confronts fear face on.

Toulouse: being pointless/irrelevant–also does not like the dark lowkey prolly sleeps w a night light lmao – he internalizes his fear, but will freeze up when confronted w something scary.

#this is old af and has been #sitting in my drafts #for so long #but u can have it #im not finishing bc it's oLD #but #voila