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tteokdoroki · 6 months

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☆༉ — SATORU GOJO. a flicker of a flame.

about. when satoru notices the flicker of cursed energy within your unborn child, he starts to feel the weight and nerves of becoming a father.

warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact! sfw, fluff, expecting parents, reader is pregnant, hospitals, nerves about being parents, listen idk how gojo’s cursed technique works so here u go >:( canon verse, expecting father!gojo, fem!reader.

“i can see it…like…flickering inside of you.”

satoru carries an expression of intrigue, like a child who’s just discovered a new sensation.

you flip the page of your magazine, not bothering to spare your husband a glance while you instead choose to admire the many strollers and their offers that decorate the page. “don’t be weird, satoru.” you tap a perfectly manicured nail against the one you like most, leaning over to show the item to him.

“but it’s there… like actually there.” the sorcerer replies, keeping his voice low despite the loud ambience of the maternity ward’s waiting room. people crying, people celebrating, families already full of children gathering around to hear more exciting news. “i like that one. it’ll fit in the hallway too. do you want it in grey or in black?”your husband passes you a pen from the depths of your tote bag in his lap, letting you circle the stroller in the magazine so you know to come back to it.

this time, you do him the honours of looking up at him — a fresh glare settled on your glowing features. “satoru gojo please stop referring to our baby as an ‘it’.” you sigh in exhaustion, watching him slump in his seat because you know he hates it when you’re irritated with him. “i thought you were excited about having a baby girl. and the grey one, it goes with your eyes.”

that seems to perk him up enough, earning you a kiss to your cheek that has you smiling like a fool in the nurses office. “sorry, sorry…” satoru starts to coo warmly, a soft tone that’s usually reserved for you and his students. “it’s just that… every time i look at you, i see two vessels of cursed energy instead of one. there’s a flicker of a flame there, right where she would be. it’s blowing my mind.” he points to your bump, nestled away under the layer of his clothing since they’re the only thing that makes you feel comfortable right now.

you close your magazine slowly, fighting the flutter of your heart and the warmth that spreads through your body. you know that your husband is being cautious, overly observant and extremely over protective — being pregnant and having a baby in your line of work was dangerous. scary, even. but you knew that satoru wanted this with you, and you him. that he cared a little too hard or worried slightly too much because while he was the strongest, you’d become every target and every weakness to him.

you and your daughter.

an unborn child who may possibly have the powers of a god among men.

so, instead you tuck away the irritation that comes with your hormones and let your gaze slink over to the large man squished into the abnormally small seat of the waiting room — just to be by your side. “do you need me to explain how pregnancy works, satoru?” you quip and rest your head on your knuckles, just to make him laugh and ease up a little.

a wiry smile starts to tug at the corner of his soft, pink lips. “i’d rather you show me but i think we got the fun part nailed.” gojo’s face splits into a wide grin, making you roll your eyes. “we made her, yanno. she’s alive in there because you’re keeping her safe.”

“and you too, mister six eyes.” you tap his skull, brushing against pure white locks, as gojo leans over you affectionately — probably in demand for a kiss (which you give).

the receptionist calls your family name from the front desk — no doubt to call you in for your neonatal appointment. another set of scans to help confirm your little girl is nice and healthy before you tell the rest of your friends and family later today.

gojo wanted to hand out copies of your scans to everyone at dinner. show off.

but as you stand, satoru goes quiet, offering you his hand as aid. “do you think…do you want…” pressing his lips into a thin line, your husband mulls over his words whilst guiding you down the hall to the doctors office — nodding to the receptionist to thank her as you pass. “i hope she doesn’t have what i have. i wouldn’t wish this burden on anyone.” he looks you straight in the eye, blue eyes piercing your soul. you feel your baby move and kick, forcing you to wonder if she’ll have the same mind blowing eyes as her father. “i hope she’s like you. beautiful and strong and—“

“ours. she’ll be ours and the best parts of both of us. her daddy’s strength, bravery, good looks and her momma’s wits, pretty ‘get me what i want eyes’ and smarts too.” you laugh, bright and loud as you cut gojo off — turning to look at him with a happy smile. “if she turns out like that, the best parts of both of us she’ll be perfect. i’ll love her because you gave her to me, we can figure out the rest later.”

that seems to reassure satoru, who sags in relief by your side as he wraps an arm around you, his large palm splaying across your baby bump. “you’re right, you’re right,” he grins again, feeling her little feet mercilessly kick at his palm. “as long as she’s healthy, we’ll be fine. i love you.”

“we love you too.” you swoon a little too much.

satoru gojo will be a great father, you think, your baby girl is so lucky — she has the strongest daddy in the world and he loves her a little too much already.

#gojo x reader #gojo fluff #gojo x you #satoru gojo fluff #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru x you #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x you #satoru gojo x you #angelshubnetwork #✧ ₊˚੭ — writing #tteokdoroki

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rafeandonlyrafe · 6 months

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live like a kook

words: 5.2k

the camerons take you in after your house is destroyed in a hurricane, giving you a month to live like a kook

warnings: enemies to lovers, lots of pogues vs kooks dynamic, rafe being mean to reader, reader is john bs cousin, food insecurity/mentions of going hungry, cursing

taglist: @drewstarkeysbae @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @winterrrnight @slut4drudy @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs

“dad, this is fucking ridiculous. no way am i sharing my home with a fucking pogue.” rafe argues, his voice raising higher and higher as the fight goes on.

“well, get over it rafe. we are doing our part for the community, this girls house got destroyed in the hurricane, she’s staying here for the next month. end of story.” ward says firmly, hoping to temper his sons anger before you arrive.

“bullshit, you don’t care about helping the pogues, all you want is to look like a good guy.” rafe runs his hand through his hair, pushing it back off his forehead. “it’s not safe. we can’t trust them, what if she steals from us?”

ward pauses. it’s something he did think about, which is why he went through the house and hid the most valuable items, locking them away in a secret safe. “you keep an eye on her then, rafe.”

it’s the end of the conversation as ward walks out of the room, even after rafe continues after him, not accepting his dads solution. wards patience with his son is about to bubble over when the doorbell rings.

ward gives rafe a pointed look to calm himself down, or at least be quiet about his disdain as he opens up the door to reveal you standing there, only carrying a backpack, fitting all of your belongings after losing almost everything in the hurricane.

“hello, mr. cameron, i’m y/n.” you stick your hand out, accepting the firm but friendly shake ward gives you.

“y/n?”

you look around ward into the house, making eye contact with a shocked rafe.

“you didn’t tell me it was- her who was going to be staying here.” rafe spits, looking at his dad, nostrils flaring in anger.

“rafe, watch yourself.” ward warns, stepping back from the door and beckoning you over the threshold.

“hi rafe.” you say quietly. you had foolishly hoped that rafe wouldn’t mind you staying here. it’s not like you ever really interact, but you know that he doesn’t get along with your cousin john b.

ward gives you a tour of the house, introducing you to rose and wheezy, and the whole time rafe stalks behind you, silent and domineering.

“thank you again for letting me stay here.” you say when ward shows you what is to be your room for the next month, situated between rafes and sarahs, who is currently out, probably with your cousin.

“of course.” ward says. “i’ll give you some time to unpack, we are serving dinner in around an hour.” “okay.” you nod, heading into your room, shutting the door carefully behind you. you glance around the opulent bedroom, so unlike what you are used to, large sweeping curtains covering the windows, sturdy wooden furniture, and best of all, the huge bed covering most of the floor.

you drop your backpack, letting yourself flop back onto the bed, letting out a laugh when you realize that even the ceiling is beautiful.

you weren’t sure what to expect when you got told that there were some people opening up their homes for those who lost theirs due to the hurricane, but you certainly never expected it to be the camerons, or any other rich kooks.

you’re still smiling to yourself when your door bursts open. your eyes widen as rafe takes up the entire doorway, not asking permission before barging into your room and slamming the door forcefully behind him.

“hey!” you shout, swinging your legs to the side of the bed and turning to stare at rafe.

“shut up.” rafe warns, quickly crossing the space between the door and the bed, hovering over you. “i want to make one thing very clear.” he holds up his pointer finger, pausing as you flicker your eyes from his hand back to his face. “do not touch anything in this house. if you steal like your loser pogue cousin, i will know. i will be watching you.”

rafe doesn’t say anything more, he doesn’t need to, turning and walking out of the room, leaving your door flung wide open, not bothering to even shut it behind him. you shiver at the warning, not that you planned on stealing, but you did plan on a peaceful stay here, and it seems like rafe is committed to the exact opposite.

you stand and shut your door, this time making sure to lock it.

“that’s screwed into the wall.” rafes voice suddenly rings down the hallway, making you jump away from the painting.

“i wasn’t going to steal it.” you grumble, crossing your arms. you were still familiarizing yourself with the house, spending some time wandering alone, but around every corner, rafe is there.

“then what were you doing staring it?” he questions.

“admiring the art, if that’s so hard to believe. yes, rafe,” you say with a sigh “even a dirty dumb pogue like me can appreciate a painting.”

“well then you don’t mind if i stand here and watch as you appreciate it.” rafe crosses his arms, muscles bulging. you turn back to the painting, looking over the landscape scene, but rafes eyes are drilling holes into you, and just like he wanted, you quickly get too frustrating, groaning and stomping away.

you head out into the garden, needing a breath of fresh air and to look upon the ocean.

“he’s an asshole.”

you jump, not realizing wheezie was in the hammock you stopped next to.

“what?” you question.

“rafe. he’s an asshole.” “you said it, not me.” you sigh, taking the hair tie off your wrist and pulling your hair into a ponytail as the wind picks up.

“just try and avoid him when he gets in his pissy moods. he’s not like this all the time.” wheezie gives you a piece of advice as she swings her legs over the side of the hammock, heading back inside.

you watch her until she’s all the way in, before glancing up and realizing that rafe is watching you as well. your brow scrunches in anger and you turn, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing you angry again.

you head towards the expansive dock, marveling at how far it stretches out into the ocean as you plop down on the wood, swinging your feet over the edge. your eyes are on the horizon as gray clouds roll in, probably a cell from the recent hurricane that broke off.

you keep your back turned to the house, not wanting to retreat yet as you watch the storm roll in, scenting the air change as the temperature drops. you wrap your arms around yourself to keep warm as the wind picks up, but the rain still hasn’t reached you yet.

you daydream about living in a house like tanneyhill. not for a month, but for your whole life. of getting out of your small cottage, now being rebuilt by your deadbeat dad, and living a life of luxury like the camerons.

strong hands grab onto your upper arms, pulling you to a standing position like you weigh nothing. “what are you doing?” rafe asks, shaking you slightly, his eyes wide with what you think might be worry.

“get off of me!” you shout, pulling yourself out of his hold.

“do you want to get yourself sick? it’s cold, and there’s a storm coming in. get inside.” rafe stares at you expectantly as the first sprinkles of rain starts to fall. you want to fight, to push back, but you also don’t want to get soaked, walking past rafe without acknowledging him as you both head into the house just before the downpour hits.

rafe doesn’t even glance at you as he pushes past, heading to his room.

“y/n, you wanna come with me?” sarah asks, slinging her bag over her shoulder, probably going to spend another night at john b’s. she’s been away from tanneyhill more often then she’s been here ever since you arrived.

you glance at rafe who is sitting on the couch, phone in hand. you’re not sure if he’s even paying attention to whats going on.

“sure.” you reply, “just give me a second to get changed.”

“alright, john b will be here in 5 minutes in the twinkie.” sarah heads outside to wait as you move up the stairs, taking off your leggings and opting for a pair of shorts instead, slipping your tennis shoes on.

you gasp in surprise when you open the door and run right into rafes wide chest.

“i heard you’re going to hang out with the dirty pogues.” rafe says, taking a step back when you push against his chest. you know he’s choosing to let you by, and if he wanted to he could have stood firm.

“in case you forgot, rafe-” you shoot him a pointed look as you head down the stairs. “i am one of those dirty pogues.” rafe stays put as you head outside, and you’re thankful to get some time away tanneyhill as the twinkie pulls down the street.

“hey, it’s my favorite cousin!” john b shouts when he sees you getting in along with sarah.

“john b, i’m your only cousin.” you roll your eyes, turning to watch out the window as tanneyhill disappears from view.

it’s nice to catch up with your friends and cousin, spending the afternoon relaxing and talking around a campfire. you are especially happy pope is here, always getting along so well with him.

“there they go again.” pope sighs when kiara starts to fight with jj, both of you rolling your eyes at each other, wishing they’d just work through whatever repressed feelings they have for each other.

“hey, john b, can you give me a ride back to tanneyhill?” you ask, noticing it’s start to get dark.

“aw, can’t you just stay here?” john b asks, his tongue obviously loosened by the beer he was sipping on. “i hate that my cousin is there, taking the kooks charity.” “just because you don’t want any help doesn’t mean that i can’t accept it.” you say, raising your voice. “besides, you knew our house got destroyed and you didn’t even reach out. you were too busy with sarah.”

you stomp away from the chateau, heading down the dirt driveway, determined to walk back to tanneyhill if john b wouldn’t give you a ride.

“y/n! wait!” if it was john b calling for you, you wouldn’t have stopped, but you turn to face sarah.

“listen-” you interrupt her before she can speak. “i’m not mad at you. i’m not even mad at john b. i’ve just been through a lot and want to go ho- back to tanneyhill.” “i’m sorry.” sarah pulls you into a hug, one that you didn’t realize you needed that much. “john b’s probably too drunk to drive. i texted rafe to come pick you up.”

you sigh, trying not to let your disappointment show on your face. you really don’t want to spend time alone with rafe, but you thank her and tell her to tell rafe that you’re starting to walk so to keep an eye out on the way, figuring it would be better to distance yourself from the rest of the pogues before he got to you.

you spot rafes truck after walking for a few minutes, watching him slow to a stop before you climb into the passenger seat.

“thanks.” you whisper, not sure what else to say as rafe presses down on the gas. you expect him to turn back towards tanneyhill, but he’s driving you in a different direction.

“where are we going?” you ask.

“i doubt you ate anything good while you were with the pogues. you need to get some real food.” rafe pulls into town, finding a parking spot that would fit his truck.

“rafe, it’s okay, i’ll eat at tanneyhill.” you say, but he just gets out of the truck and walks around to your side, yanking the door open and gesturing for you to get out.

“i see what you eat at tanneyhill. it’s never real meals unless it’s what rose makes, and she’s out tonight with my dad. just come on.”

you slide out of the truck, watching rafes back as he walks away, expecting you to follow. you stay a few feet behind him until rafe turns into a restaurant, again holding the door open for you as you duck inside. it’s not one you’ve been to before, probably because it’s out of your price range.

“just the two of you?” the hostess asks. rafe nods in response, and you’re quickly shown back to a table.

“rafe, i-i can’t afford this.” you say when looking at the menu. you can’t even afford just an appetizer.

“you don’t think i know that, pogue?” rafe rubs his brow. “i’ve got it, just eat, please.”

you study the menu, opting for a simple chicken and fries, along with mozzarella sticks. afterall, rafe is paying. he orders a burger for himself, not even glancing at the waitress who took your orders, like she's beneath him.

“did ward put you in charge of me or something?” you ask after sitting in an awkward silence for a few minutes, waiting on your food to be brought out.

“i don’t want to be sharing a house with someone who is sick because they refuse to eat right.” rafe says. “i don’t want to find you passed out because you didn’t get enough food.” rafe leans back in his chair, glancing over you. “that would just be an inconvenience.”

“ah.” you nod, keeping your eyes on the empty place in front of you until your food is brought out. your stomach growls at the smell, not realizing how hungry you truly were, so used to going all day without a true proper hot meal, surviving on snacks and whatever else you could find.

you dig into your food, moaning when the melted cheese enters your mouth after biting down on the mozzarella stick.

“hey!” you shout when rafe reaches across the table and takes one of the sticks, biting the end of it off.

rafe just grins at you while chewing, making you shake your head in laughter. you continue eating your meal, not even realizing that you just had a nice moment with rafe until later that night when you’re laying in bed, reflecting on your evening with rafe. he didn’t make a big fuss when paying for the bill, simply sat his credit card down and didn’t mention how you were broke, then drove you back to the house and bid you goodnight upon entering tanneyhill.

you press your cold fingers to your cheeks, willing them to settle down as you shift underneath the covers, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself, reminding yourself that one nice thing doesn’t mean rafe doesn’t hate you, afterall, like he said himself, he just doesn’t want you to be an inconvenience.

“mr. cameron, i really don’t want to impose!” you say, but ward just shakes his head. “nonsense, y/n. you’re coming with us.”

“let me help you with your hair, dear, come on.” rose ushers you towards her bedroom. you give wheezie a pleading look, but there’s nothing that she can say to get you out of going to midsummers, not now that ward is determined to have you come with them, showing off how generous and charitable he is by taking you in.

you sit still as rose patiently straightens your wavy hair, only to recurl it, pinning sections up until it’s mostly swept out of your face besides for a few face framing strands, then cascading down your back.

“rose-” you breath catches in the mirror. “you did amazing, thank you.” you turn to look at the woman. “i’ve never had my hair done like this before.” “you look beautiful, y/n. it’s a pleasure to have you with our family tonight. i think sarah is in her bedroom doing her makeup, maybe she can put some on you too.”

you nod and head towards sarahs room. you didn’t want to go at first and be surrounded by kooks, but now that you have no choice, you might as well enjoy feeling beautiful for one night. sarah already leant you a dress, but she agrees to do your makeup as well, keeping it light and fresh before helping you sort out putting on the dress.

you look in the mirror at yourself, unable to resist twirling, the fluttery skirt of the dress billowing up on the bottom.

“girls, it’s time to leave!” you hear ward call, and you finish off the outfit with a flower crown of pale pink flowers to match your dress before rushing out of the room.

you head down the stairs, gripping the railing so you don’t stumble in your borrowed heels.

rafe looks up, ready to chastise you for taking so long, when his breath catches in his throat, eyes going wide.

“not too bad for a pogue, huh?” you question.

“you look…” rafe trails off, his soft expression quickly being replaced with an angry one, stomping out of the room without finishing his sentence. you resist the urge to chase after him.

you don’t see rafe until hours later. you’ve been paraded in front of all of ward and roses country club friends, but you just put on a smile and boast about their generosity. you’re not sure if anyone can see through the fakeness, but ward seems pleased, and finally lets you stop mingling to rest your tired feet.

you watch the crowd from the camerons reserved head table, feeling like such an outsider, knowing this isn’t where you belong, and if you weren’t scrubbed clean and dressed like them, the kooks would be turning their nose up at you. at least rafe is decent enough to not try and hide his hatred behind a nice face.

you spot rafe in the crowd, whisky glass in hand as he talks to his friends, a bright smile on his face that gives you a funny feeling in your chest. you rub the spot with your hand, willing it to go away as people clear out from standing on the dance floor as the music starts, a few brave couples being the first one to begin swaying to the music.

you watch as ward and rose dance, eyebrows raising up when they turn their attention to you. “y/n, come on!”

you consider ruining having a place to stay and sleeping on the street tonight, but you’ve put on a good act so far, you can continue it for a bit longer. you smile and walk over to them, expecting to be shoved into the arms of some random kook boy, but instead you’re ushered to rafe.

“dance, you two!” rose calls, grabbing a champagne flute from a passing waiter.

rafe holds his hand out, looking at you expectantly. you hesitate to place your hand in his, making rafe sigh.

“you don’t know how to dance, do you pogue?” he questions.

“maybe i just don’t want to with you.” you place your hand in his, letting him tug you closer, his other hand resting against your waist while you grab onto his shoulder. you follow rafes lead, matching your footsteps with his as he sways you around the floor, glad the song is soft and gentle so you can just move slowly.

“see, this isn’t so bad.” rafe says, looking down at you.

“could be worse i suppose.” you hum, keeping your gaze straight forward at rafes chest as the song comes to an end.

the lights dim, and a romantic song comes on. you go to pull away from rafe, but he keeps you close to him, wrapping both arms around your waist and leaving you no choice but to put your arms around his shoulders.

you look to see all the other couples pressed close together, women with their head against their mens chest, some even kissing in the low lighting.

“just relax.” rafe whispers. “you’re so tight you’re gonna snap.”

you let your body relax in his hold, not realizing that you were clenching almost every muscle in your body. your head falls against rafes chest as you dance, letting yourself close your eyes and be swept away in the loving lyrics of the song, once again daydreaming about if this was actually your life.

the song ends far sooner than you’d like, and the lights brighten again. the crowd claps for a moment, but you’re locked into rafes arms, both of you now standing completely still. you can hear his steady heartbeat against your cheek, his breathing slow and deliberate.

“you look beautiful tonight.” rafe says, making you jump, almost forgetting who you are, and who he is. “that’s what i didn’t say earlier.” rafe clarifies, face falling when you look up at him in horror. you pull away from his arms, instantly missing his warmth as you run as fast as your heels can carry you out of the crowd, needing to get away from the music and the man.

you look down at your borrowed dress. you would rip it off or roll in dirt if you didn’t have to give it back to sarah, hating that this is what rafe finds beautiful. when you’re primped up to look like one of them, not the real you.

you find a dark corner to sit in until the party starts to disperse, and when you find the cameron family again, rafe isn’t with them, and no one mentions it as you pile in the car to head back to tanneyhill.

“are you sure you don’t want to come out on the boat with us, y/n?” wheezie asks you, but you shake your head.

“i’m okay, i’ll just stay back and read. i don’t want to impose, enjoy some time as a family.” you can tell already from being at the camerons for three weeks that they rarely do things as a family, at least one person, usually rafe or sarah, being left out.

“alright, i guess it’s you and rafe staying home. lets go!” ward calls, ushering the girls out of the room.

“wait, what?” you call, but they’re already out the door. you thought for sure rafe was going with him. you haven’t spoken a single word to each other in the past three days since midsummers. he’s barely even been around, you’ve just caught glimpses as he left for the day or came home.

you make a late breakfast for yourself, deciding since you’re basically home alone to fry up some bacon. you’re too nervous to use the kitchen for anything more than grabbing a quick snack when rose or ward are home.

you hum to yourself as the oil sizzles in the pan, finishing cooking your meal when you hear heavy footsteps coming down the stairs.

“rose, is that bacon?” rafe calls, entering into the kitchen with just a pair of basketball shorts on, freezing when he sees you.

“they all left.” you say, swallowing and resisting the urge to let your eyes track all over his torso. “but um, i made extra if you want some.” “yeah, let me just put a shirt on.” rafe walks away and you take the opportunity to fan your face, dividing the bacon up between two plates and sitting down at the counter, starting to eat when rafe rejoins you in the room.

you both eat side by side in silence, and you’re glad to not be talking. you finish your food, going to put your plate in the dishwasher when rafe takes it from you and does it for you.

“thanks.” you say under your breath, going to turn away when rafe clears his throat. “what is it?” you question, voice coming out harsher than you meant it to.

“i’m going to golf today. did you want to come with me?” rafe asks, not meeting your gaze.

“i- i don’t know how to golf.” you say as your way of refusal.

“right.” rafe nods, letting his shoulders drop.

“dirty pogue, remember?” you question.

rafe doesn’t say another word, he doesn’t even look at you as he leaves the room. you watch him walk away before closing yourself in your room, only moving to peek out the window when you hear his truck start up, watching it speed away from the house.

“y/n, you have a visitor.” ward says, ushering you towards the front room. you stand up, confused, not sure who would be visiting. it’s not like you have any friends who would come to tanneyhill.

“dad!” you shout in surprise, seeing him standing in the foyer, looking out of place in his dirty shorts and tank top.

“hey, y/n.” he says casually, like it hasn’t been four weeks since he saw you last, shipping you off to stay with a kook while he fixed up the hurricane damage on your house.

“what are you doing here?” you question, looking to the base of the stairs where rafe is stood on the bottom steps, arms crossed and watching the interaction with a scowl on his face.

“i finished fixing up the house enough for you to come home.”

“oh.” you nod. you’d completely forgotten in your time here that you were only staying for a month, and that of course your dad would be here to collect you. “let me just get my things.” you force yourself to turn away and rush up the stairs, letting a few tears slip. you don’t want to go back to staying in a broken down house, and you especially don’t want to stay with your dad, having to fend for yourself completely while he spends all your money on drinks at the bar, not even leaving you enough for food.

you head into your room, wiping away tears as you shove things into your bag, including some clothes sarah was going to donate but she gave to you instead.

you control your breathing and stop your tears before you head downstairs, making eye contact with rafe as you walk down, unable to read the emotion on his face.

“thank you again, mr and mrs cameron for letting me stay here.” you say politely, and the both pull you into awkward hugs.

“and bye, wheezie.” you squeeze the teenager against you, whispering a promise to come back and hang out.

you turn to rafe as your father walks out the door. you can’t find any words, so you simply turn and leave.

“dad, i need to buy food.” you argue. “i’m starving!” “you just want to pig out on fast food! we have things here you can eat!” your dad slurs his words, gesturing to the broken down kitchen. there wasn’t as much done in the month that you were gone that you were hoping for. he’s cleaned up the hurricane damage in most of the rooms, but tree that fell onto your bedroom is still there, simply hidden by a closed door, relegating you to sleeping on the old couch.

you curse as your dad stumbles into his bedroom, opening the kitchen cabinets to look for something edible before landing on a packet of saltine crackers.

you take the packet outside along with a water bottle, needing to get away from that house and your father. you sit down on the swing hanging from a high tree branch, crunching on the crackers as you listen to the birds chirping.

the mockingbirds song is interrupted by the rumble of an engine, and you turn towards your driveway, shooting up to stand when you recognize the truck getting closer.

you walk towards the truck, confused at why rafe is here, wondering if maybe you left something at tanneyhill, but it’s already been two weeks since you left. maybe he only just now bothered to return it.

rafe gets out of the truck, his eyes wide as he takes you in.

“how are you already so skinny?” rafe questions, taking the saltine cracker out of your hand and looking at it with disdain. “is this all you have to eat?”

“rafe, what are you doing here?” you question, snatching the precious cracker back.

“i-fuck!” rafe runs both his hands through his hair, “i was worried! and look at you! is he feeding you at all?” “rafe, calm down. you’ll wake him up.” you try and shush him, but it just makes rafe angrier.

“wake him up? does he hurt you? y/n.” rafe grips your upper arms, staring you straight in the eye, needing to know if what he suspects is true.

“what? no, rafe. he just drinks then passes out, he’s never hit me.” you’re still confused why rafe is even here.

“get in the truck, i’m getting you food.” rafe demands, and your mind says no, but your rumbling stomach has your feet moving. you climb into the passenger side, looking at your broken down home thats truly no more than a shack. you wonder what rafe must feel seeing it as he gets in and starts the truck, backing out of the driveway.

you bring your knees up to your chest, letting your head fall as you sob silently. rafe doesn’t realize that you’re crying until your body starts to shake. he stops the truck in the middle of the dirt road, not caring if it blocks anyone else.

“y/n?” rafe questions, unsure how to get you to stop crying, worrying that it’s his fault.

“i don’t wanna go back there.” you admit, looking up at rafe, letting him see the messy state you’re in.

“fuck it.” rafe sighs, unbuckling both of your seatbelts and pulling you onto his lap, wrapping his strong arms around you as you press your face into his shoulder, letting your tears run free, not caring about the wet stains you’re making on his clothes.

“it’s okay.” rafe rubs his hand up and down your back. “you don’t have to go back there. you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. i’m here.”

you cry harder, wrapping your arms around rafes waist, keeping yourself close to him, letting yourself find comfort in his arms.

“i’m here, y/n.” rafe whispers, pressing a kiss to your head.

you look up at him, tears still flowing down your face. “why? why are you here?” “i told you…” rafe cups your cheek, trying to wipe away the tears but they just keep flowing. “i was worried. i had to come check on you… please stop crying.”

rafes words do nothing to stop the deluge, and he’s starting to freak out, hating seeing you so upset, knowing you need some sort of distraction as your breathing speeds up, starting to hyperventilate until rafes lips are pressed against your own.

you’re momentarily confused, hesitating for a split second before kissing back, letting rafe dominate your mouth as you concede, the tears slowing to a stop as he keeps kissing you.

“rafe!” you gasp when he pulls away. “you just kissed me.” “i know.” rafe wipes his palms over your cheeks, and this time theres no fresh tears to replace it. “i care about you y/n. it’s why i came. i missed you.”

“oh, rafe.” you lean forward, letting him hug you tight, squeezing your bodies together.

“i’m here.” rafe whispers again, not letting you spiral, reminding you as many times as it takes that you’re not alone, that you have him now.

“now,” rafe gives your forehead a kiss, “we need to get you some real food. what are you hungry for? pizza?”

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scoops-stevie-archive · 1 year

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@outpastthebrakers posted a thing about hospital security guard eddie and er nurse steve and @zerokrox-blog sent in a prompt for a steddie med school au, but despite working in a hospital, i don't know anything about med school other than it's 4 years of schooling and 4 years of residency, so i couldn't deliver on that part unfortunately. but i hope yall enjoy regardless!

"Are you gonna actually do something tonight, or are you just gonna sit there and look handsome like always?"

Steve pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he looks up from the computer and rolls his eyes.

"I could ask you the same thing, you know," he says, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. "This is the third time you've been down here in the last," Steve checks his watch, "hour. Don't you have a parking lot to patrol or something?"

Eddie only laughs and hooks his thumbs into his belt loops. "Bold of you to assume they let me drive the car, big boy. Nah, Preston drives and I get to be the passenger princess I was born to be."

Steve snorts. He definitely doesn't pay attention to the looks the other nurses are giving them.

"Besides," Eddie continues. He leans his elbows on the counter of the nurse's station. "It's your fault I'm down here so often in the first place."

"Oh really?" Steve raises an eyebrow and doesn't hide the fact that he's checking out the tattoos on Eddie's forearms that are showcased by the short sleeves of his uniform shirt framing his biceps. Hospital uniform policy says minimal jewelry but Eddie's never been one for conformity so his fingers are adorned with rings of different size.

(Hospital policy also says that security staff are, under no circumstances, to physically harm violent patients or visitors, but that policy doesn't say anything about Eddie threatening to dole out a knuckle sandwich or two.)

Eddie tracks Steve's gaze and smirks. He taps his fingers on the counter in a rolling rhythm, his black nail polish accenting the flashiness of his rings.

Eddie leans in a little more (which isn't necessary because the counter is a foot above the desk Steve is sitting at) and almost purrs, public decency be damned, "Because, princess, if it weren't for you, I'd be stuck up in my office doing something boring, like reading." He places a hand on his chest. "As much as I love my dragon hoard of books, seeing your pretty face for twelve hours is a much better option."

Steve blushes and tries to sputter out a response, but the radio clipped to Eddie's shoulder goes off.

Eddie confirms the call and groans, dropping his head.

The moment is all Steve needs to compose himself. "Oh no," he frowns, insincere but his tone teasing. "You have to actually do your job. How awful."

Eddie mouths wordlessly back at him, mocking, but then grins and raps his knuckles on the counter once more, giving him a wink. "Don't miss me too much, sweetheart."

Steve tries to not watch as Eddie walks down the hallway, but god those pants fit him so well. He's always had a thing for tiny, perky asses.

"Steve."

Steve jumps and does not yelp like a child. He turns to see his colleague Jen. Jen's been working in the ER for a few years and is a spitfire with a heart of gold.

"You've been flirting with him for months and neither of you have made a real move on each other. What the hell? The betting pool Trent and Brett have is getting shallow."

The tips of Steve's ears start to burn. "Betting pool?!" He turns his chair around to the guys mentioned and they're very much making an effort not to look at him. "You guys are betting on us hooking up? How old are you, twelve?"

"Stevie," Jen sighs in a dramatic way that reminds Steve of Robin and it makes his heart clench. "You have turned down every single person in the vicinity since you started. Eddie is obviously into you and you're into him. I'm going to say this as nicely as I can because you're my favorite out of all the graduates: Please jump this man's bones so I can get my $50."

"My love life is only worth $50 to you?"

"Steve."

Steve groans and hits his head on the desk.

xxxxxxxx

Eddie outright moans when 7am rolls around and he's finally able to take off his uniform. He shoves the bulletproof vest and his holster belt into his locker and his shirt and pants into his dufflebag to be washed later.

God, he doesn't even want to think about laundry.

After he got the call that pulled him away from Steve, it was like the floodgates opened. Two code violets, one report of a car circling the ASU parking lot suspiciously, and three code browns that ended up being patients sneaking outside for a smoke.

He didn't blame them. With the night he had, he's regretting his decision to quit.

Eddie walks through the automatic doors at the entrance of the hospital after he's changed back into his civvies, and those regrets immediately disappear and his mood brightens when he sees who's waiting for him.

Wayne's van is parked in the drop off zone and the sliding door is opened. A bright grin stretches across Eddie's tired face as he gets closer to his little girl, happily squirming in her car seat and drinking juice out of her bottle.

"Da-dee!"

Eddie lets his bag slide off his shoulder and onto the ground but Wayne picks it up and puts it next to Emma's diaper bag.

"Hi, baby!" Eddie coos as he unbuckles her. "Good morning!" He kisses her cheek and buries his nose in her hair, a chesnut brown like her dad's, and cuddles her close. "I missed you so much. Did you have fun with papaw last night?"

"She fussed a little after you left but I got her settled," Wayne says. He holds up a McDonald's bag. "Decided she was gonna get an early start this morning so I figured yall could use some breakfast."

Eddie's stomach chooses the right time to growl and his mouth waters. Last he ate was a TV dinner around one in the morning. Eddie tells Wayne to pick a spot in the visitor's parking lot and then takes Emma back inside the hospital with him.

He doesn't see Steve when he gets to the ER.

"Hey, Steve hasn't left yet, has he?"

A nurse, Jen, Eddie thinks her name is, looks at him and immediately starts cooing at the (admittedly adorable) baby in his arms that's looking around with curious eyes and drinking her juice.

"Steve's in the locker room getting changed, he's just about to clock out. Who is this little cutie?"

Eddie grins and bounces Emma lightly. "This is Emma, my little monster. She gets all her cuteness from her other dad."

Jen's face falls for a second but before Eddie can ask what's wrong, Emma squeals way too loudly for a hospital at 7:30 in the morning and almost throws her bottle in her excitement.

"Da! Da!"

Steve looks just about as tired as Eddie feels and he can practically hear their bed calling their names. But Steve's eyes light up when he hears who's calling for him and a sort of puppy-like grin takes over his face, dopey and happy.

Emma is already reaching for him and Steve quickly strides over and takes her in his arms.

"Good morning, lovebug," Steve says, enveloping her in the gentlest hug he can muster. He breathes in her natural baby smell and closes his eyes.

Eddie's hand goes to his waist to keep him awake and Steve hums, opening his eyes and leaning into give Eddie a peck on the cheek.

"Morning, baby," he murmurs, all traces of teasing and flirting from the night before gone and replaced with open affection.

Steve doesn’t need to look at Jen to know her jaw is probably on the floor.

Eddie returns the kiss on Steve's lips. "Morning, sweetheart. Wayne’s waiting with breakfast outside. Seems like little miss princess here decided she was gonna wake up early, early today." He tickles Emma's tummy as he says this, causing her to laugh around her binky and try to push his fingers away.

"Food sounds so good right now," Steve practically whines.

Jen is still staring between the three of them. Steve smiles sheepishly.

"Sorry you didn't win your money. I should’ve told you, Eddie and I have been together for years. Emma's our daughter." He shifts Emma in his arms and gives everyone a wave. "I'll see you guys later."

He and Eddie walk out of the hospital hand in hand. They eat their breakfast in the parking lot and Wayne follows them to their house to stay up with Emma while Steve and Eddie get some much needed sleep.

When they go back into work later that evening, they fess up to everyone and Eddie gives Jen $50 right from his own wallet.

#steddie #steddie ficlet #steddie dads #cj talks #cj writes

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leejenowrld · 18 days

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size training w jeno. choking on his fingers when he plows into you from behind. dubcon breeding. more daddy kink? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

some stand-alone hard thoughts that have plagued my mind lately bc im ovulating and horny! so obviously i had to share and spread the brainrot w my favorite jeno blog 😩

jeno starts by teasing you about his big he is and coos when you squirm away, he teases you with his fingers and tongue, slowly preparing your body, if he’s in a certain mood though he’ll definitely whisper in your ear about how you won’t be able to handle him and take all of him

he uses plenty of lube, he gently inserts a small toy or his fingers, gradually stretching you to accommodate his size

he watches your reactions closely, ensuring you're comfortable and enjoying the sensation

jeno encourages you with dirty talk, telling you how good you feel and how much he wants to fill you completely

as you become more aroused and relaxed, he slowly introduces larger toys or fingers, pushing your limits with each thrust

when you express doubt about his size, jeno goes serious, his expression softening as he cups your face in his hands

he kisses you softly, wiping away your tears and whispering reassuring words in your ear

"it won't fit," you whimper, feeling overwhelmed by the size of him

"it will," jeno reassures you, his voice filled with confidence and tenderness

as he slowly enters you, you feel a mix of pleasure and discomfort, the sensation of being stretched to your limits both exhilarating and intense

jeno's movements are slow and gentle, allowing you to adjust to his size at your own pace

once he's fully inside you, you feel a sense of fullness and completeness wash over you, the feeling of him filling you completely unlike anything you've ever experienced before

jeno holds you close, whispering sweet nothings in your ear as he revels in the intimacy of the moment, his love for you shining through in every touch and caress

you kinda sent two different scenarios so here’s the second one, also i won’t write about dubcon breeding. sorry! also thank you for saying i’m your fave jeno blog! i’m hoping to post his one shot on his bday (fingers crossed i get it done in time) and a few more bday drabbles so keep sending requests for them!

you’re on all fours, your body arching in anticipation as Jeno positions himself behind you.

with a hungry growl, he grasps your hair, pulling your head back slightly as he leans in close, his breath hot against your ear.

you feel the heat radiating off his body as he presses himself against you, his fingers trailing down your spine before dipping between your legs.

and then, just when you think you can't take anymore, he pulls his fingers free, only to press them against your lips, urging you to taste yourself.

you eagerly comply, sucking his fingers clean as he watches you with hungry eyes, his desire evident in the way he hungrily drinks in the sight of you.

with a satisfied smirk, he leans in close, pressing his body against yours as he whispers in your ear, "You're mine, all mine," before plunging back into you with a hunger that leaves you breathless and begging for more.

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lafemmemacabre · 1 year

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Goth 101

🦇 tl;dr version for those who prefer that format

Goth is a music-based subculture that started out in the UK in the late 70s/early 80s and spread internationally from there. It spawned from the UK Punk scene, keeping the DIY ethics but turning the music more melancholic, introspective and experimental.

The music genres that the subculture was built around are (dark) Post-Punk, Gothic Rock, Darkwave, Ethereal Wave and a few other smaller subgenres.

While the fashion and other non-musical aesthetics are very prominent and beloved by goths, they're non-essential to the subculture. What defines a goth is the music we listen to.

Our "big 4" bands are The Cure, Sisters of Mercy, Bauhaus and the Banshees. However, 3 out of 4 of those bands are Post-Punk acts (Sisters of Mercy being the exception Gothic Rock band), and while very influential to the rest of the goth music scene, they by no means are the end-all, be-all of what goth music sounds like. The genre has evolved through its over 40 years of existence, creating diverse sounds. Anyone darkly inclined can find something to love, even if it takes a bit of research.

The Dark & Gothic playlist on Spotify is a pretty decent way to get started into goth music. In my old blog I had entire tags dedicated to goth music as a whole, and separately to Post-Punk, Gothic Rock, Darkwave and Ethereal Wave too. I had a few playlists based on popular goth aesthetics here.

The longer description of goth music will include playlists for each bigger goth subgenre, but please keep in mind they're made by me in a way that appeals to my personal tastes for each subgenre. I don't know every band that exists and my personal taste is biased towards the 90s.

Now, to a more detailed introduction to the goth subculture...

🦇 Dark alternative vs Goth

What a lot of people need clarified is that the goth subculture doesn't have a monopoly on the dark alternative world, nor are we the home for everyone sad, spooky and weird who doesn't fit in and might listen to any sort of sad, spooky or weird alternative music.

There are SO many dark alternative music scenes that have nothing or very little to do with the goth subculture. We've influenced a lot of them fashion-wise, but just because they copied us we look alike doesn't mean we're interchangeable.

There's no scale that goes from Prep to Goth and measures how Valid™ your inner darkness is, in which if you're anything below goth then you're a poser and lame. It's perfectly fine and cool to be dark alternative without being a goth. Goth isn't a badge of legitimacy or honor, it's just one specific flavor of dark alternative among so many.

Goth is a very small and obscure subculture despite our superficial hypervisbility (our looks and infamy are hypervisible, what we're actually about is extremely buried underground), and most dark alternative people aren't goths.

🦇 What does it take to be a goth?

There's one rule, and one rule only: LISTEN TO THE MUSIC. You wouldn't call yourself a metalhead without being a fan of Metal music, would you? The same principle applies to goth.

There are many types of alternative subcultures; some examples are fashion-based subcultures, another are lifestyle-based subcultures. A third type of subculture that's very prominent (especially in the West) are music-based subcultures.

Goth is a music-based subculture, just like the metalhead, punk, emo, rivethead/Industrial, hip-hop, rave, K-Pop and grunge subcultures are.

This means that, while the music isn't THE ONLY aspect the subculture has, in order to be a goth you have to listen to goth music, and we have a specific set of music genres that our subculture was built around, so not just anything dark and melancholy will do, as we don't have a monopoly on that, but we do have something closer to a monopoly on a specific sound and musical legacy.

You don't have to listen to goth music EXCLUSIVELY to be a goth, that'd be insane. You don't even have to limit yourself to dark alternative music either. You just have to listen to goth music to a relevant degree and be passionate about it and you're in, the rest is up to you.

This means too that the way you dress has no impact on your validity as a goth, whether you don't have the gothic wardrobe of your dreams yet or you just don't want to dress goth at all. I'm TikTok mutuals with a girl who dresses exclusively in pink-white sweet lolita coords, but who's passionate about goth music. She's a goth, no questions about it. On the other hand, a lot of the influencers you'll see online who look like a lost Addams cousin aren't goths at all, and no house decor or outfit will make them gothier if they don't listen to the music.

🦇 What music counts as goth?

From the previous points I made you probably gathered that Industrial and Metal ⁠– both genres that outsiders usually associate with the goth subculture ⁠– aren't actually part of the goth genre. So, what is goth music?

Goth music developed initially in the UK in the late 70s/early 80s off of dark Post-Punk. Post-Punk itself developed from UK 70s Punk Rock, being also influenced by Glam Rock, experimental electronic music, and many other influences more specific to each band that took part in this musical development (Bauhaus were very influenced by Reggae!).

What characterizes the goth sound are elements such as; being bass-driven rather than guitar-driven (in almost every case), guitars playing more of a decorative or atmospheric role instead of being the main focus (which contrasts starkly against genres such as Metal), preference for voices with a lower vocal range (altos, this is your genre to shine in!), optional use of synthesizers, recurrent replacing of human drummers with drum machines, and common use of lots of reverb and delay effects everywhere for an extra sensation that you're listening to music recorded in a catacomb.

Dark Post-Punk was the starting point of the goth subculture, and from it, all other goth music subgenres developed. Depending on who you ask there's a billion goth micro-genres. In my opinion a lot of those subgenres are rather meaningless (a lot of them are just specific flavors of Post-Punk or Darkwave) but the main 4 subgenres of goth music are:

(Dark) Post-Punk

Gothic Rock

Darkwave

Ethereal Wave

POST-PUNK:

Post-Punk took the standard sound of Punk Rock and its DIY ethics and made the sound more melancholic, romantic, experimental, less angry, and more introspective. Dark Post-Punk in particular was influenced by gothic literature and old horror movies (including their soundtracks, the Banshees created their characteristic guitar sound after the violins in the Psycho soundtrack).

Besides the 3 Post-Punk bands I listed as part of the goth "big 4", there's bands such as Skeletal Family, Twin Tribes, Specimen, She Wants Revenge, Sex Gang Children, Xmal Deutschland, Lebanon Hanover, Cruex Lies, The Secret French Postcards and The Birthday Party.

GOTHIC ROCK:

When goth became slightly more established in sound, Gothic Rock is what happened. Less experimental than Post-Punk, a bit more Rock-based, more decidedly dark and miserable than Post-Punk necessarily is, and finally severed from goth's punk roots. Sisters of Mercy is THE most popular and influential Gothic Rock band; they popularized the use of extremely low baritone vocals and drum machines. Despite existing since the 80s, its popularity peak was in the 90s.

Goth as a whole has its "big 4", but the subgenre of Gothic Rock has its own "big 3", which are Sisters of Mercy, The Mission (UK), and Fields of the Nephilim. Other Gothic Rock bands are Rosetta Stone, Corpus Delicti, Inkubus Sukkubus, Mephisto Walz, Angels of Liberty, Two Witches, Nosferatu, Wisborg and Soror Dolorosa.

DARKWAVE:

Goth going electronic! There's basically two types of Darkwave; the one that's more a combination of Post-Punk + Synthpop (very popular in the past decade), and the one that's more a combination of Gothic Rock + electronic music in general (most popular in the 90s). EXTREMELY danceable, but then again goths can dance to literally anything. This genre has existed at the very least since the second half of the 80s and has never stopped being relevant in the goth scene, save maybe during the Deathrock revival phase.

Clan of Xymox might be the single most influential Darkwave band. There's also The Frozen Autumn, The Crüxshadows, Switchblade Symphony, Collide, Dark, Ghosting, London After Midnight, She Past Away, Drab Majesty and Boy Harsher.

ETHEREAL WAVE:

This genre is heavily linked to Dream Pop, Neoclassical Darkwave and Shoegaze. Like with Darkwave there's basically a few styles of Ethereal Wave, I can pinpoint three; the one that's like, regular Goth Rock/Post-Punk but with a lot of extra delay and reverb and other stylistic choices that make it sound, well, Ethereal, dream-like. There's the type that has lots of Folk influences (be it Medieval/Rennaisance-ish type of Folk or "ethnic" type of Folk), and there's one that's synth-based but, unlike Darkwave, sounds like what ketamine must feel like. This genre has existed since the mid 80s but its peak in popularity and relevancy in the scene was in the 90s.

Dead Can Dance is THE most influential Ethereal Wave band, but there's others such as Cocteau Twins (started as Post-Punk, ended up as Dream Pop and Ethereal Wave), Miranda Sex Garden, Faith and the Muse, Lycia, Claire Voyant, Hamsas XIII, Love is Colder than Death, SRSQ, Black Tape for a Blue Girl and Mors Syphilitica.

What about Deathrock, Gothic Metal and Industrial?

Deathrock is goth's American twin, basically. While in the early 80s in the UK morose ex-punks were playing Post-Punk, in the early 80s in the LA Punk scene morbid and brooding punk kids were playing Deathrock; it's closer to Punk Rock in sound than Post-Punk, being more about being spooky and brooding than about being eerie and romantic. Goth is to vampires and witches what Deathrock is to zombies and werewolves.

To summarize the consensus on Deathrock and its place within the goth subculture; it's rare to find a goth who's not also into at least some Deathrock, and even rarer to find a deathrocker who's not into goth. Personally, I think Deathrock is its own separate though very similar thing, but I don't mind Deathrock being lumped in with goth music.

I made a whole TikTok video on why Gothic Metal isn't a goth subgenre, but in summary; Gothic Metal is a Metal subgenre that was somewhat influenced by goth music in its earliest stage of development, but is for the most part a cross between Doom Metal and Death Metal with lyrics inspired by gothic literature. By adhering to a Metal sound it doesn't fit the type of sound goth music has. The goth influences in Gothic Metal were mostly only present in the earliest bands and a majority of the newer acts are completely disconnected from the goth scene.

As for goth's ties to the rivethead subculture (and thus, Industrial music): We've been sibling subcultures since at least the early 90s. Both very, very small and underground scenes that despite being different, had enough similarities in music, idiosyncrasy and aesthetic sensibilities to comfortably band together for the sake of scene viability. That's why you might hear people talking about the "gothic-industrial scene".

Keep in mind too that 80s and 90s Industrial music sounded very different from how it does now (compare your average Grendel or Combichrist song to your average Skinny Puppy or Die Form song). There was a lot less influence of raver music in the rivethead scene back then, and a lot more influence from 80s dark alternative music and New Wave, which are key influences for the goth scene as well.

As told by goth YouTuber Angela Benedict (goth since 1995), every goth back then listened to at least some Industrial, every rivethead listened to at least some goth music, and they all loved 80s New Wave, so DJs at shared club nights had a very easy time entertaining both audiences simultaneously.

🦇 Trivia & other things to know

The term "gothic Rock" was being used in music journalism as early as to describe releases by The Doors and The Velvet Underground, but the word "gothic" there wasn't so much used to point to a specific type of sound at that stage, it was used to imply the mood of the music and that's not where the subculture gets its name.

We don't know for sure why this subculture began to be referred to as "goth", initially the music was called either New Wave (just a darker and more underground variety of it) or Positive Punk. However, one of the potential roots of this name for our subculture is that it comes from an inside joke from members of Southern Death Cult/The Cult about Andi Sexgang (Sex Gang Children) about how he was a creepy little guy obsessed with the macabre and dark romanticism living at the Visigoth Towers, so they called him a "goth goblin" and if he was a goth, then his fans were goths too.

From the comments that the goth bloggers/vloggers I follow get, apparently it's common for baby bats and people interested in the subculture to think that they HAVE to find a goth "type" to lock themselves into, like "trad goth" or "romantic goth" or whatever else, and if they don't, they're a poser. This isn't true at all. Most goths wax and wane between fashion styles and goth music subgenres. These terms are far more useful to describe aesthetics rather than people or music.

If you ever hear people talk about "1st/2nd/3rd wave goth/Gothic Rock"; that's an (in my opinion) outdated and not too functional terminology to differentiate between "eras" of goth music, 1st wave being between 1975-1985, 2nd between 1985-1995, and 3rd between 1995-? That terminology was used widely when I was a baby bat but not so much anymore.

"Baby bat" is what a lot of more established goths call newbies! It's NOT meant as an insult nor to be condescending. It's a loving cutesy term and while of course most baby bats are very young, it's perfectly plausible to be a very grown adult and a baby bat if they just got into goth instead of getting into the subculture as a teen.

Most goth bands are easily found on Spotify except for more underground ones that haven't been active for a while (I have so many beloved bands and songs that just don't exist on Spotify), but the real goth jackpot is at Bandcamp.

Facebook is still useful for one (1) thing and it's for finding goth events; that's where I've found out about gothic fairs, goth nights and gigs; from the largely popular ones in my local scene to the very underground ones.

The song most of the subculture agrees is THE first official goth song is Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus, which was recorded as a singular take. It was the first track the band recorded together, too.

The Batcave is infamous nowadays as a huge goth night club in Soho (London) during the early 80s, owned by the band Specimen, BUT as told by the very people who used to frequent the nightclub, the whole thing has been a little overblown and its current reputation is more legend than fact. YouTuber Gothcast has a great video on the subject that was praised by members of Specimen itself!

youtube

Most of the most iconic pioneer goth musicians HATE being referred to as goths or to have their music referred to as such. When the term "goth" was first starting to be used to describe our music and scene it was a pejorative used by outsiders and/or mostly associated with the campier and more "low brow" bands (Specimen and Alien Sex Fiend come to mind). Andrew Eldritch from Sisters of Mercy especially hates it, to the point he refuses to even say the word and refers to it as "the G word". Which is hilarious since he sounded the most stereotypically gothy out of the big 4 and looked like this at the time he started to be a piss baby about it:

Goth isn't really a "youth" subculture anymore if you ask people within the scene. Unlike people from many other subcultures, goths have a tendency to stay goth far into adulthood (even if covertly). When you go to any events, besides teens and people in their early 20s, you're gonna see plenty of goths in their 40s and older, a few of them will bring their kids along if the event is family friendly.

Besides the obvious chance of many goths being professional creatives (musicians, writers, artists, etc), for some reason A LOT of goths work in tech and healthcare!

Metalheads headbang, they and punks also mosh. What do goths do to vibe to our music together? We dance! We don't dance the same as non-goths but we LOVE to dance to our music, together or solo. There's no established dance styles to adhere to; it's just letting your body flow to the music. Some goth dancing is very intricate, some of it is very simple, it depends on the goth in question. Just in case, this is NOT like the dance gifs of cybergoths/rivetheads under that damned bridge. Think less that and more Wednesday Addams dancing to The Cramps, or the girl from the Night of the Demons movie. Here's some videos about how goths dance:

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We fucking love 80s New Wave. No, Depeche Mode isn't a goth band; yes, you'll have to dig deep to find a goth who doesn't ADORE them. The only one I've come across who disliked Depeche Mode liked Soft Cell instead.

Goth IS international! Not just in the sense that there's fans of goth music basically everywhere, but that there's local goth scenes with their own local goth bands everywhere. Outside of the US + Europe + Canada, there's huge goth scenes all over Latin América (our Deathrock and Post-Punk are at times even popular among 1st world goths), and there's also smaller but still present goth scenes in Africa, Asia and Oceania. She Past Away is very much one of THE most popular goth bands in recent years and they're from Turkey.

The goth scene has always been in friendly terms with the LGBT community. Not only are many of our biggest icons LGBT themselves (the whole band Specimen, AVC from Sopor Aeternus, both members of Diavol Strâin, the vocalist from Male Tears, Cinnamon Hadley, and many more) but plenty of cishet goths (especially the men) embrace gender non-conformity and/or androgyny. In most local scenes, goth club nights are held at gay bars/nightclubs, as they don't tend to have privately owned venues. And either way, at any goth night there'll be tons of gay and gender non-conforming goths no matter where they're held. To varying degrees depending on the locality of the scene, gay and bi people are completely normalized in the goth subculture, and gender non-conformity and androgyny aren't just encouraged, but praised and coveted.

There's goths of any religion you can think of, but Neo Pagans are somewhat over-represented in our community compared to the rest of larger society (for better or worse). Funnily enough, very few goths are actually Satanists of any sort. I'd say the numbers go more or less similar to our local non-goth peers. In the West and westernized countries I'd say it goes; majority culturally-Christian atheist or agnostic goths (usually not militant about it), a few practicing Christians of whichever denomination (usually whichever is dominant in the country they inhabit), the rare but entirely plausible Jewish, Muslim or Buddhist goth, and a bunch of Neo-Pagans. Probably one (1) or two (2) actual Satanist goths per state/province/etc, tops.

World Goth Day is celebrated every year on May 22nd.

"Mallgoth" isn't a type of goth in either a musical or fashion sense. I made another TikTok about it, but in summary; it was originally hurled as an insult towards a very specific type of poser; the American kids in the late 90s and early 00s who imitated how goths dressed and called themselves goths while only listening to Nu Metal and maybe the most mainstream Industrial Metal. They tended to congregate at malls and behave particularly obnoxious to everyone there, further ruining our already delicate image (especially at that time).

Cybergoths aren't really goths either. Their music scene is centered around EBM, which is basically slightly darker and slightly more aggressive raver music that may or may not have Industrial influences. And to be honest they behaved like a rapacious invasive species in goth club nights to the point that they almost decimated the actual goth scene and it took us a while to recover from that.

Goths are sometimes perceived as too self-serious but honestly? We love making fun of ourselves and we tend to have a very silly or dry sense of humor. We're just tired of the same cheap and inaccurate jokes made by people who don't know anything about us. The best jokes about goths will often come from goths ourselves; you can only properly make fun of something you understand well! The few times outsiders get it right though? (Sad to confirm that the South Park goth kids are hilarious and I wish they were in a better show) You'll see goths sharing the SHIT out of it, such as me being obsessed with the goths from Ridonculous Race, or the clip below:

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#goth music #music #goth #gothic #gothgoth #goth subculture #trad goth #gothic rock #post punk #darkwave #ethereal wave #Spotify #goth 101

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neighborlystudios · 6 months

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💜:Hey(I'm new in your blog)

I have a little request about Jax x Reader: What if Reader ignored Jax causing him to get kind of angry about it and Jax goes into Reader's room and finds Reader diary (Reader not being in the room).

(Do it if you want)(^w^).

・﹒・ jealousy, jealousy - request

Summary: You had hung out with Kinger quote often, he had become someone who you felt bad for and wanted to make sure he never felt alone. You wound up genuinely enjoying his company and had become good friends with. However- Jax didn't like that. He had found and taken your diary and had read from it just to show how much he wanted your attention.

Warnings: None

Pairing: Jax x GN!reader

The Digital Circus had very few members, yet you always found someone to interact with here, whether it was Gangle or Kinger, but you never felt too lonely. However, you did keep a small diary to keep yourself sane, writing down thoughts and what happened during the "day" helped to keep you grounded here and from truly going insane. But it was private of course, you wanted absolutely nobody to read it under any circumstances. You always kept it in a chest right in front of your bed along with a few other items that you grew close to and wanted to keep.

You especially didn't want one person to read it- Jax. He was someone who would use that shit as blackmail against you and force you to do things you definitely would not prefer to do. Mainly considering you jotted down the possibility of forming a crush on him, it wasn't a sure thing, just a "maybe" thing. He often antagonized everyone and was a huge asshole, but there was just something so tantalizing about him, you couldn't help but want to learn more about him and spend time with him.

So, naturally, you ignored him, in fear of actually crushing on him and making it obvious nonetheless. Nobody could blame you as he was the most deplorable out of everyone. You ignored his taunting, his smug smiles, his pranks, you ignored it all in favor of remaining neutral to his mischievous self. Jax didn't say anything about it, but Ragatha worried that you would eventually break from letting him get to you after a while. It was quick to reassure her that that would not happen, that you were stronger than he was.

However, you were worried when he would eventually break from your lack of reactions to his behavior. Jax was most likely angry from it, but he wasn't acting any more aggressive than how he normally was. He was probably internalizing it until he couldn't one day and you were not looking forward to that day. But that was a later problem as right now, you were helping Kinger build an awesome fort for "protection", making it big enough for the both of you. He was supposedly here the longest, so since he held on this long without being abstracted, he was losing an even bigger grip on himself in this new reality. The chess piece became a good friend to you though, even if his memory and spatial awareness was completely shot.

"Ok let me add one more block here!" You placed a big, yellow block on one side that was open, smiling at how the fort was slowly coming together. Kinger often preferred small pillow forts just for him, but you both occasionally would build larger ones to fit you both.

"Oh that looks wonderful!" He sounded happy as he clapped his not-attached hands in glee, enjoying your presence and "creative mind" as he puts it. He slid over- doesn't have any legs so he just floats- and examined your current area, humming. He then looked over to you, suddenly screaming in fear and fell down on the colorful ground. It was sad, he did this so much because he forgets who he was just talking to and who was right next to him.

"Kinger its alright its just me" You smiled softly as you extended your hand, him grabbing it and you pulling up. You never dared to get mad at him, never allowing any mistreatment of him as his mind was similar to one with Dementia. Unfortunately, the one person here that often didn't enjoy being with anyone was Jax. The amount of times you scolded him for scaring Kinger and he didn't care at all. Went in one ear, out the other as they say.

"Sorry…what were we doing? OH right, the fort!" Chuckling, you looked at the probable old man as he struggled with simply having as normal of a time here as possible. Besides that, everything was going well as you handed him some red blocks to make a chair when the familiar sights of a tall, lanky, purple, red overall wearing rabbit came through and stared at you.

"You, with me, now" Jax spoke and he was absolutely pissed off, his usual expression of a smile was replaced with a serious one. How dare he try to order you around? Stood with your hand on your hip, you raised your eyebrow as he stood there, expecting you to just go with him.

"No" You didn't have time for his shit, you were having such a fun time being with Kinger and he was not going to ruin that for you. Scoffing, he walked closer with arms crossed and stared you down as he was taller than you was. You weren't afraid of him, there were more things to be scared of here than a simple bully that got dealt the same fate as you.

"Yes, now, I mean it" At the same time, the chess piece came back and stared at the current interaction, eyes wide. His posture became curled up as if he was trying to make himself smaller, not enjoying that Jax was in his safe space.

"Am I uh…interrupting something?" He asked nervously, glancing back and forth. You were about to say no and to tell Jax to f off when he spoke first.

"Everything is fine, Ho-ha, now leave since Mx. "I'm staying" won't" One death glare caused Kinger to rush off in fear, causing you to get so angry. Stomping up to the rabbit, you said nothing for a few seconds as you sized him up, staring at him with a scowl.

"Why are you so fricking demanding all the sudden? And stop-"

"Calling him Ho-ha. Yeah I don't care. Stop hanging out with him anyways" The rabbit plucked the teddy bear you placed on a pillow and started to boredly play with it. Ripping it from his hands, you gently placed Mr. Cuddles back on his rightful throne and pushed Jax around towards the exit.

"Ah, now I wouldn't do that Mx." He said, just knowing he was smirking right now.

"And why not?" You stopped right before he would have been pushed through the door when he chuckled and out of nowhere, a very familiar book appeared in his hand. Your diary! Swiping at it, he unfortunately was too tall as he held it above your head, making you jump, curse your height!

"Give it back Jax! Seriously give it back now!" Jumping didn't help at all as he turned around and stared you down, holding it up at its highest point. Growling, you grabbed his arm and pushed it down, earning a "hey!" as you managed to snatch it back from him.

"That's mine thank you very much" You huffed and flipped through the pages, making sure everything was in working order when he said something you would not expect.

""Jax is a rather…interesting fellow. He is rather charming, but also a very rude person, I do not know how to feel about him, yet I want to be close to him"" A large smirk showed on his face with a knowing look, knowing he got you right where he wanted you to be. That bastard quoted from your diary!

"Say, you seem so utterly fascinated by me, why are you hanging out with Kinger instead of me?" He asked with an inflection that was hard to get a read on at first, however, it didn't take long for you to put the pieces together. He was completely jealous. But why? This was Jax you were talking about, who knew anything about him?

"Wait…are you…jealous, Jax?" Hook, line, and sinker. Sputtering, he faltered before a face of anger took place.

"I am absolutely NOT. Don't be delusional" He scoffed, deflecting the fact that he was indeed, very jealous as he crossed his arms and leaned to one side, looking away from you.

"Oh really? Then you wouldn't mind if I brought Kinger back in then! Oh Ki-" Jax covered your mouth, a blessing for him since if you didn't have one, he wouldn't have been able to stop your yelling for the chess piece. You ripped his arm away from you and walked out of the fort, no longer seeming fun to be in anymore, maybe you can build a new one after this asshole leaves.

"Ok I AM jealous. Are you happy now?" You were now outside of the fort, Kinger nowhere to be seen. Jax stood in front of you as he rolled his eyes, not happy with admitting that he was jealous. But why was he so jealous of you just hanging out with Kinger?

"No, because you somehow broke into my room and stole and read my private information!" Huffing, you hid your journal behind your back as you stared him down.

"Why are you so jealous, Jax?" He was the one in control, now it was time for YOU to be in control now. You spoke confidently as you walked closer to him, getting into his personal space.

"Because-" He matched your confidence for a few seconds before pink dusted his cheeks, he went silent for a few seconds, trying to figure out what to say as his eyes drifted everywhere but you. His black eyes finally landed back on yours and he took a deep breath in, and then out.

‘It’s because…I like you ok! That’s…that’s the only reason!” He raised his voice but not to the point of yelling as he curled in on himself, crossing his arms and holding them tighter than usual, he was scared. Slowly walking up to him, you smiled softly as you laid your free hand on top of his.

“It’s ok Jax, I won’t tell anyone. Not unless you want everyone to know you’re a big softie?” You teased, causing the rabbit to grumble as you stood on your tip toes and kissed his cheek. He froze, not expecting it in the slightest as you pulled away. The temptation to be snarky even as a joke crossed your mind, but knew he had issues being vulnerable, so instead, you smiled as you called for Kinger to finish the fort as Jax stood there like a deer in headlights

#jax x reader #jax #tadc #the amazing digital circus #the amazing digital circus jax #tadc jax #request

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laurzzz · 24 days

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Robo-Boyfriends AU (My Sona Version) - Effort

Woe word-less comic be upon ye! I think it's very fitting with my sona being mouthless LMAO. I haven't worked on RBAU in a short while so take this thingy before I continue to work on MO again :thumbsup::thumbsup:

Explanation/vent under the cut (it's VERY long, so know you've been warned)

I'm tired. I'm tired of pretending it doesn't affect me at all. I'm tired of not wanting to express genuine frustration on my blog. I've been trying my best to keep my blog and every other platform I have as a place of escape for myself. I want it to only be filled with mostly good and optimistic things. I already get enough crap and more in my private life, I don't want to see reminders of them in places where I want to escape. Which is why I've been pretending to not see the numbers, that I don't feel under appreciated, that I don't vent as much when I want to or when I do I'm quick to delete them.

I know that many artists online go through this and have expressed their frustration on this experience-- where they put in so much effort and time on their works and they barely get any feedback or interactions or when they do get feedback it's often on the works they don't even put that much effort in. I love RBAU and Cloud Nine.. they're my AUs that basically gained the most traction here but the time and effort I gave to making those comics and random pieces of gradient-themed drawings don't even compare to the rendered pieces or the animated works I've made for them.

As much as I appreciate the reblogs and comments on the posts that reached so many people, I often wonder why it's always the works that I didn't put my all into. It makes me feel discouraged... not in continuing to draw or make creative work, but to actually put in more effort. But if I'd do that--stop putting in more effort-- then I would only make myself even more miserable as I don't like stagnation. I hate stagnation. I hate getting bored of the things that mean so much to me. Sharing my art and improving on it means too much to me.

But it's weird because I tend to observe the interactions with other blogs. They look to put in so much effort and make such beautiful rendered pieces that I adore and yet they are appreciated as deserved. While there are artists who make "shitposts" (their words) who also gain so much traction and appreciation. This observation makes the voices in my brain start correlating the quality of my work to the interactions. If I'm being completely transparent, I get these thoughts a lot. But I also don't believe them. I don't want to believe them.

Before anyone starts saying "ohhh you shouldn't attach your appreciation of your work from external factors" etc etc-- I KNOW. I am FULLY aware. I'm completely aware and have rationalized this situation over and over. That this is just how the internet goes. That these are factors I don't have control over. That my work is gold and it doesn't have to be determined as such by numbers. That someday the people who appreciate my works will find me. I. Know.

Still, knowing these things doesn't make the feelings disappear. It's like I want to be mad, and cry at the same time but also understand that I just can't really do anything about this but let it be. It's as if the more I care about a project, the less likely people will. I don't want to pretend like I don't care about a project just for it to be appreciated. But I also don't want to feel as if I'm not getting as much appreciation or attention that I think my work deserves.

I've been experimenting with my works and how I post them here on Tumblr and on YT since last year. The ones that are shitposts are seriously what gets more attention AHAHAHA I am laughing with frustration. Look, I love making memes and poking fun with characters as much as the next viewer and artist but by god. I can't just keep churning out funny haha low substance stuff in exchange for interactions. That's not the kind of artist that I am. I like making things that has lore; that has depth to them. Like how I tend to make lore heavy AUs right after getting my silly, lighthearted works blow up just to remind myself that the relationship I have with my works will not grow if I keep chasing after the interactions, the numbers by prioritizing quantity over quality.

Or maybe people just don't like my ideas? I guess that's a possibility too. Maybe my ideas just don't resonate with people enough. It's not "consumable" enough. Or maybe they don't like my art/writing/animation style. Yet more factors that's out of my control. But I also get told that people like my art, my writings, my animations. And they mean so, so much to me. But it just doesn't add up sometimes, y'know? If people like my work and stick around because they like my art no matter the fandom then why don't I see it? Thoughts like these make me feel so ungrateful actually.

I'm sure there are many people who look up to me as an artist and think how "popular" I am. I've been told this so many times. And yet, I don't feel either of those as strongly. Hell, even as I type this long vent out, I feel like people will not even care. Or worse. Perhaps they may think I'm focusing on the wrong things or think I'm being insecure and jealous of other people's well-deserved appreciation from others.

For the record, I am not. I think every single (actual, not AI) artists put in so much effort and love to their own works most of the time and if they get appreciation for it then I'm sure as hell that they've been seeking for it too and now that they're getting it and it's there then they should bask in it and rejoice. They really should.

Sigh. This is getting far too long. I'll stop here. I hope my words and my thoughts came out clearly. I'm writing this out late at night. Don't worry, I'll still be putting in the effort I've been putting in lately. I'm still going to work on MO, and give my best to make Assassin Eclipse's design to be as on par with Assassins Sun and Moon. I'm still going to write and continue the lore in the fic. I'm still going to animate the lore-heavy Welcome Home animation I've been working on slowly day by day. I just wanted to let this all out. Venting it to my friends just seem to not be enough. I gotta express it where people can see it. I think this is just my last straw too. I've been holding out for so long and 2024 really hasn't been that kind to me lately that I just can't anymore.

Anyway, the next post will be much lighter, I promise.

#sorry i focused too much on my dca related works but this also applies to all the other fandom stuff ive created on here and on YT #oh also #thank you and shout out to xit #i was having doubts on posting this before i sleep tonight #but her recent answered ask unintentionally gave me courage #hey xit! if you see this i think youre cool #robo-boyfriends au #but with my sona instead of y/n #dca fandom #fnaf sun #fnaf sundrop #fnaf daycare attendant #laursdraws #cw vent

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luciddownloading · 3 months

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Tarot Reading: What Are Their Thoughts and Fantasies Of You? 😍

Hi and welcome or welcome back to my blog for another Tarot reading. I felt called to do a love-based reading, regarding what your person is currently thinking and fantasizing about when it comes to you. Now, you can make this fit into something more platonic if you like and if it resonates. But, I am strongly getting the vibe, for the majority of you, that this will be about romance.

Before I even start, I can already tell that some people who seriously fumbled are coming through. Today's collective message seems to be: they fumbled the bag (aka you) and they know it. It also seems like a lot of my fellow feminines are recognizing their worth and no longer putting up with anything low-vibrational or that doesn't honor them. And I love that for you guys!

Past people will most likely come through, so if you're over it and don't want to hear it, I understand. But, if you need some closure or confirmation or validation of your intuitive hits, then this might be the reading for you! Whatever the case, your free will always matters. Just because I am telling you that someone wants you back or is coming back doesn't mean you're fated or obligated to be with them.

As always, a) this reading is timeless and b) only take what resonates. Pick the picture that you feel most drawn to. It's okay to pick more than one. Then, see what your pile(s) has to say!

PS: I have gotten into the habit of not taking reversals, so I won't be for this reading. That's my preference for now, as it helps me channel more clearly.

PILE 1

PILE 2

PILE 3

PILE 4

PILE 1

Ten of Pentacles

(clarified by: The Hierophant)

Death

(clarified by: Eight of Cups)

The Lovers

(clarified by: Ace of Wands)

Ten of Wands (back of the deck)

Pile 1, this is some heavy duty energy here! Your person, first off, feels like they have a very "head in the clouds" side to them. Fittingly, for this reading and its pictures. Not to say that they can't be grounded because they do have that energy, too. But, they are a MAJOR daydreamer and I think they spend a ton of time thinking about you. Fantasy by Mariah Carey is the channeled song here. "I'm in Heaven! With my boyfriend" Or girlfriend. Whatever applies. That's like their energy toward you. Except I don't think you guys are actually together. So, this Heaven is just in their head.

Oh, but here's the thing: they might actually have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Or a spouse. I feel, for most of you, this third party is a relatively new or not too serious relationship. But, they are TIRED. Very unhappy in it. And I get the vibe that they had an opportunity to choose between you and this other person. And, well, we can see how that ended up! Omg, you know what just came through? Like how, on The Bachelor or some other dating show, the person is picking between two final contestants. And they pick one and hurt the other. But, the joke is on them because that person they let go was so much better or loved them so much. That's how this person feels about you. For some of you, they may even make that analogy in their head and fantasize about picking you instead on their own "dating show". Lol your person has a very colorful imagination!

You know what I also see? Tiffany Pollard, aka New York, aka Mother of Reality TV. The scene where she's rejected in Flavor of Love 2, in the finale, and crying in the limo. But, then, she goes on to get her own dating show and become even more of a star. That's how this person thinks of you. They know they lost somebody amazing, who they see as a real soulmate, all while they're investing their time in... Okay, I don't want to say "the real loser" but that's what this person thinks, deep down, about who they're with. Yikes! They don't actually like them very much. They may have only gotten with them to rebound from you or make you jealous or find some replacement for you. But, you cannot be replaced or duplicated!

Yeah, they actually compare this person a lot to you. They are actually much more attracted to you. Very sexually drawn to you. I am not picking up anything shady right now, as far as them wanting to "step out". But, um, let's just say, when they're with this person, in bed, they're often thinking of you. If you guys have been physical, they definitely replay those memories. I think it's very hard for them because they want to do what's right and they don't want to hurt this person. But, they are not at all over you and, essentially, they wish you were the one by their side.

I have to be honest, though. They pretty much made their own bed. Not just because they didn't pick you but because they are STILL staying stuck in this situation that they don't want to be in. This person really, really idealizes relationships and commitment. I actually get the feeling that they initially idealized this third party and the life they could have with them. Until they got with them and that shattered. But, they still feel a need to stick it out for... reasons. They definitely take a "sunken cost fallacy" approach to relationships, believing that they just can't break up with someone once they've invested time and energy into it.

Your person could have their Sun, Moon or Rising in the signs of Taurus, Gemini or Scorpio. They are this odd mix of flighty and inconsistent yet very rigid. A need to be in control. Maybe this relationship gives them that. If this person isn't with someone, I think this may not be your pile. Because it's such a strong message. You most likely know about it, too, and know it's mostly for show. Your person fantasizes about this perfect relationship they could have with you, instead. It's like every "couple moment" they have with their person, they imagine what it'd be like with you. They feel like you are done with them, though, or wouldn't want them anymore. They could be right! Maybe you've moved on or they're very paranoid about you being with someone else. They could be grieving the loss of this connection heavily, especially if you're the one who walked away.

I do think they'll circle back, in some way, probably when they end this connection with the other person (because I don't see it lasting too long). You've most definitely made a huge impact on them and have made them want to change their old ways. But, will they? Right now, it's very slow progress, if at all. They spend more time daydreaming about being a "better" version of themselves to win you back than actually working on themselves. So, if you take them back, use your discernment. Also, be aware of how much they can build a potential partner up, unrealistically, in their head, to a degree that is impossible for said partner to live up to.

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PILE 2

Queen of Cups

(clarified by: The Moon)

Knight of Swords

(clarified by: Wheel of Fortune)

Ace of Swords

(clarified by: The Chariot)

The Hermit (back of the deck)

Pile 2, your person hardly knows what they're thinking. I get the feeling that they often don't WANT to fantasize about you because, when they do, it's all consuming and overwhelming. I definitely feel like this is a "separation/no contact" situation that your person doesn't know how to navigate. They are all over the place these days and very troubled, no matter how they try to appear on the outside. No matter how they try to fool themselves (and they are experts in self-deception). They are not as okay as they want to come across to others right now.

We have a lot of signs here that they could have personal placements in: Cancer and Pisces as well as any of the Fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius) and also the sign of Virgo. This person is being pushed to do some soul searching. "For the first time in their life" is what came through. That might be you or their Guides. But, yeah, this person is STUBBORN and has spent a very, very long time clinging to old ideas and, honestly, their own bullshit. Interestingly, I am not getting a lot of "fantasy" out of this pile. No, your person is being pushed to finally wake the fuck up.

A big message coming through, in regards to you, is that they are finally realizing what they had "wrong" before. But, I put emphasis on "wrong" because that's how they see it, in their black-or-white mind. They are often way too judgmental, too logical and disconnected from their emotions. It's not like they don't have emotions, in spite of how they may act. In fact, I get the vibe that, deep down, they actually don't let anyone see that. Including themselves. You got hurt in the process here because they may have been emotionally unavailable or denied their love for you or played around with your feelings. Whatever it was, it caused this separation that you two are most likely in. And I can see your person taking some real accountability for that. Sorry, Blame It On Me by Akon is your channeled song. So, the lyrics may be a message from your person.

However, I don't think they're truly ready to come forward yet. That pride of theirs is pretty absurd. They are less in ego than they used to be but still approaching things in an ego-based way. They don't want to embarrass themselves, especially if they fear you don't want to talk to them or be with them anymore. Actually, they fantasize about all of the potential outcomes of your next conversation. I think they do that to alleviate their anxiety but it just makes it worse. Even though they can picture you being open and reasonable, they can also picture the conversation going horribly wrong and that kind of shuts them down and makes them want to hide.

I also think they see you as this Queen of Cups figure. So, you may have placements in Water (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces). I think you were very vulnerable and emotionally open with them, last time you talked, and they weren't very sensitive or understanding. They daydream about going back and redoing that conversation, especially since they can actually understand what you were talking about now. They view you as a very spiritual person, most likely because you've discussed it with them. You might have even discussed it in regards to your relationship, as in saying you think they're your twin flame or soulmate or telling them about synchronicities regarding this connection. But, that wasn't something they were equipped to take seriously then.

And I am not saying this person has necessarily grown leaps and bounds since. But, they have started awakening spiritually and you played a major role in that. Maybe they're getting into Tarot readings or astrology for the first time. Something I am getting is that they wish you two were talking so you could teach them about all of what they're (cautiously) exploring. They feel like you have some mysterious wisdom and knowledge that they don't and they're craving access to it. Because they feel like it would give them much needed solutions or answers. They're still approaching it from a more "rational" perspective but they're slowly opening up.

They also dwell a lot on your connection and they, too, might be convinced that you're divine counterparts. I can see someone looking at one of those twin flame communities online and trying to learn more and connect the dots. They are truly just trying to figure out the language you speak. If they still have texts or DM's or emails from you where you communicated your feelings or spiritual insights, they read them a lot. They believe you're psychic (and I do, too!). You somehow have just known certain things about them and it had them SHOOK. It still kind of does. But, I honestly feel like they don't plan on doing much of anything right now. I think they either a) expect you to just use your "mind-reading skills" (their words, not mine) to automatically know what they want from you or b) for the Universe to just magically bring you back to them. They are trying to develop faith in the Universe but aren't recognizing that they still have to make their own choices. They can't hand their free will over, in this regard. Also, just because you already psychically know what's going on with them doesn't mean that they shouldn't take that step and voice their true feelings.

/////////

PILE 3

Six of Pentacles

(clarified by: Two of Cups)

Page of Cups

(clarified by: Three of Cups)

Seven of Pentacles

(clarified by: Knight of Wands)

Eight of Wands (back of the deck)

Pile 3, you have some different vibes than the others. This could be romantic but, for a lot of you, I am feeling like it's more platonic. This is someone who is or was a very close friend. I am getting "best friend breakup" as a message. So, this is very likely someone who was once your bestie but you had a falling out. Maybe you drifted apart but I get the sense that there was some sort of major disagreement or conflict that caused this breakup. In any case, I feel like your person fantasizes a lot about making it better. Making it up to you somehow. I feel like they were the ones in the wrong, in terms of whatever went down. Not to say you're perfect but I think you tried your best. I also think there's some sort of "energetic debt" here, as I call it. It's like you gave and gave so much to this person and their unfair treatment of you makes them feel like they owe you something. It could actually be money. Or maybe they want to help you financially. They also could just owe you some sort of apology or explanation.

Yes, the apology is a big message. Apologize by One Republic may resonate. There is kind of an eagerness from them, too, in this regard. I feel like, without you in their life, things have gotten kind of boring or stale. I will be honest. It feels somewhat like they want you back in their life for their own gain. They felt like they really, really benefited from having you close. So they think and daydream about being close to you again. Things going back to the way they were. Little do they realize that things can't truly go back to how they were then. You aren't the same person you were then. I feel like you may have indulged this person a lot or you were constantly trying to make them happy or comfortable.

Definite people pleaser or overgiver energy coming from you. I always have a pile that I have to give this message to. But, I give it with love. You might have realized that a huge part of this relationship, whatever it was, was built on your kindness and generosity toward them. Because of this, that's a major reason why they're missing you. "Nobody can make me feel the way you do", they think. Well, obviously! There is no one quite like you. BUT, what gives me pause is the question of how much this person actually loves you and how much they just love how you make them feel. With them, there's a thin line between the two and I don't think I am telling you anything you haven't already perceived. I think you know this person's agenda.

That doesn't mean that they don't have real love for you because they actually do. They're just very self-absorbed in how they express it. The connection between you two was also real and went deep. Like, past life connection deep. I think you two shared your emotions with each other in a very vulnerable way. You definitely did, anyway. They did to some extent, actually more with you than they do with others. But, they have a very wounded inner child and they sort of looked to you to provide them with a certain healing, support, or comfort. You made them feel safe, which is why this connection ending was like the rug being pulled from under them. I think you both might have had inner child wounding and maybe saw yourselves in one another in that way. But, you grew and healed greatly. They're not quite there yet.

There is a significant Water emphasis here (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces), so this person could have placements in any of those signs. Their energy is kind of funny. It's sensitive and vulnerable yet closed off. Their ego is like a shield and they keep their defenses high. In some ways, they have tried hard NOT to think about you, in the past, or maybe still do. They try to act like all is well, like they're thriving and have their mind on other things. But, this is not only bullshit. It's a facade of "confidence" to compensate for their immaturity and insecurity. For some of you, this person has tried to emerge from this as "the winner". It's silly for many reasons, especially since you don't even care about that. You're in your own lane but they are trying to barge into yours, while acting like they're not. If this is a former friend, they have taken this breakup as hard as a romantic ending. They treat you like an ex that they loudly claim they're over but think about all the time.

I definitely feel like this has had social ramifications. Like mutual friends have gotten involved. But, while this person may have played the victim, I feel like people from your social circle have either stayed neutral or inevitably took your side. I don't mean to drag this person but they can be exhausting and lack the self-awareness sometimes to know when they're being the asshole, all while pointing the finger at the other person. But, most people have peeped their game. I get the sense, for some of you, that you also kind of broke up with your mutual friends or social scene, too, once things ended with this person. Maybe you feared that they had too much social influence and others would turn on you. But, in actuality, their childishness is making people turn on them.

Best Friend by Doja Cat and Saweetie is coming through. That's how this person idealizes you, which is funny because they're also a low-key to high-key hater of yours, especially these days. You are the one who hyped them up, like that song, and they fed on it. The funny message about this, too, is that Doja and Saweetie were more so performing a best friend bond for the song. If I'm not mistaken, they're cool and they're friends but not actually besties in real life. This person is more so in love with the aesthetic of you as a close friend and the way you made them look good. I get the impression that a lot of you are highly attractive and very charismatic and that's a big reason they kept you around.

Again, not trying to villainize them. It's just that their energy is so... surface level. A bit of depth there but I wouldn't be shocked if they want you back to just show off your bond to your mutual friends again. "Hey, look, the dynamic duo is back!" Obviously, use discernment here, in terms of how genuine they are because I do think they can be super-charming and influence people when they want. They think back a lot to your past social life together. For most of you, it involved partying, going out, drinking. They may look at that time as their "glory days" or even the last period of their "youth". They had less worries and concerns, partly because you were with them. So, they romanticize this period a lot, possibly looking at old pictures or videos on social media regularly. I do think you two had a lot of fun together. You're a blast to be around and their life is significantly less fun without you.

/////////

PILE 4

The Lovers

(clarified by: Queen of Swords)

The Sun

(clarified by: Six of Cups)

Ten of Swords

(clarified by: Page of Pentacles)

Wheel of Fortune (back of the deck)

Pile 4, this isn't just about one person. This is about a few people/handful of people and it is hard to pinpoint it. I wouldn't be surprised if you were drawn to the other piles because they have more specific messages about a certain individual. This is more about a pattern in your life that I feel is highly karmic. I would say that your Guides are drawing attention to it but it's not like you don't know. You are well aware of these patterns and pushing through the effects. Essentially, you are on the healing journey that you were always meant to be on, whether you have just started it, after some difficult relationship experiences, or you are persevering through it.

Something I feel called to say is to please not make excuses for someone or rationalize or romanticize their toxic behavior because you think they're your twin flame. I don't want to be harsh but the truth some of you may be dealing with right now is that a certain someone who you thought was your twin flame really isn't. I don't believe in the "false twin flame" label and this person is likely a very important soul connection. But it doesn't mean they're your twin. It also doesn't mean that you have to sit around, waiting for them to heal or mature or put in effort or commit. You could be selling yourself short by doing so. And hey, don't shoot the messenger! Lol some of you needed to hear that, from your Guides, but some of you have already had this epiphany.

Yeah, I am being redirected from talking about what they're thinking. This is about you! You know why? You have put more than enough effort into disappointing connections in the past. It's time to give that love to yourself! You are being represented as this Queen of Swords (doesn't matter if you're male or female, it's just your energy). You could have your Sun, Moon or Rising in Air: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius. You are definitely feminine while also being shrewd, assertive, and with a savage side. You know how to get a little cutthroat when needed and when to cut people out. Whatever your current love situation is, your Guides trusted and knew that it was only a matter of time before you leveled up and moved on.

I'm hearing Why Should I Be Sad by Britney Spears. An absolute bop! (Her Blackout album is pop perfection, if you didn't already know) Anyway, that's your energy right now. You could cry right now over so-and-so but you've done enough of that. Or maybe you do need a good cry or two still. It's okay! But, I think, even as you're sobbing, in the back of your mind, you know there's only so much time left for that until you bounce back like the bad bitch you are. Your Guides are applauding you and so proud of you. I am getting the message that they never have to do much with you. You don't require a lot of interference. You still need help, of course, but you are so wise and smart and strong that you learn a lot of your lessons on your own, especially in love. You reach your threshold in terms of nonsense in relationships and then you're out. I am also sensing that they do sometimes give you "rude awakenings" (like this reading maybe lol). But, the good thing is that you actually pay attention and learn what you need to, instead of just ignoring or getting defensive at the truth like so many people do.

Yet, you still have a heart and it's complex. I feel like, in spite of that resolve, you might still look back at the past, at people from your past, and idealize the connection or romanticize it. But, then, you come to your senses. It's a cycle and a process, so be compassionate and patient with yourself. And don't try TOO hard to move on or get over someone or you won't be truly dealing with your feelings. Still, you have reached a point where you are definitely through with certain people and where exes, people who were once so appealing, are not nearly as attractive as they once we're. It's like you met them drunk, at a bar at 1 AM, and now you're meeting them again, sober, in the light of day, and they look very different now.

As far as what they're thinking of you? Well, they are pretty scared of coming forward. You have a certain bite when you're displeased that can scare some love interests. But, the ones who are scared are usually the ones who need to be called out or held accountable. Even when you do so graciously or civilly, you can hurt some feelings. But, it's worth it to be honest. I am definitely sensing one or two people from the past, who have put you through plenty of disappointment or heartache, as well as a more recent love interest who you would like to leave in your rear view. But, of course, just take that how it resonates.

You are highly desirable, even though you are seen as intimidating (maybe even because of that, at times), and you have plenty of options. But, I hear you thinking, "Do I, really?" Not out of self-doubt but out of a distaste for those who are coming forward or want to come forward. Again, you are leveling up and don't have the tolerance for what you used to tolerate anymore. I can definitely see a new powerful soulmate connection coming in for you this year. One that will actually be healthy and mutually satisfying. And this will happen because you have released these karmic or stagnant connections. You are making space for someone that will actually be fulfilling.

So, it may be exhausting now but please keep going forward and don't look back. It's time. You gave those past people enough chances. And, yes, they will be absolutely kicking themselves once they realize they have missed their chance. Some are already doing that. Because I am picking up a karmic vibe, they will experience the repercussions of not learning their lesson and growing as well as the intense regret of losing someone as awesome as you.

#tarot #tarot reading #pick a pile reading #channeled reading #channeled message #channeled song #pick a card #love reading #tarot love reading #pick a picture

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daydreams-after-dark · 21 days

Text

Show Mommy

Synopsis: Lee Know dressed as Aunt Lina was doing things to you as you watched him on set. But what happens when you are invited to an after party and accidentally end up in Lee Know's room, and he's still in costume?

NSFW // 18+ MINORS DNI for the love of god.

Features: female reader x cross dressing aunty lino

Word count: 4.4k

This link though

nsfw warnings below.

Kinks and warnings: Mummy kink (Lee Know is referred to as Mummy), choking on cock (cutting off air supply), Edging, Light Dom/Sub, Pet names (Mummy, babygirl, kitten etc), Name calling (slut, whore), unprotected piv sex, oral sex (m rec), cross dressing, vaginal fingering, creampie.

a/n: This story was born out of an ask from friend @noellllslut She was after Lee Know dressed as Aunt Lino who fucks reader's brains out. It was originally posted on my main blog @moonlightndaydreams but the themes fit the feel of this blog. So it now resides over here. Please welcome it make it feel at home 😘

Lee Know couldn’t help but notice the way you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him while he was on was the SKZ Family set. So he deliberately slouched back in his seat, spreading his legs unashamedly under the silk skirt he wore as part of his Aunty Lino costume. He knew what it was doing to you. You tried your hardest to look away, but your eyes kept returning to him, alternating between gazing at his beautiful dolled up face and wig, to almost drooling as you stared at his crotch. You knew what was underneath that dress, although you’d never seen it or experienced it first hand.

Lee Know had seen you around a few times now. You were the newest staff member of the catering service that sometimes provided refreshments and food to the group. You stood out like a sore thumb, actually, with your eyes wide, starstruck. You’d never been in such close proximity to idols before.

Lee Know thought you looked cute. He liked that you seemed flustered around him and the other members. But he also noticed that you didn’t seem to ever really be looking at them, but rather your gaze was always on him. Your stare made him feel flushed. Luckily the blush make up could hide the fact there was also a natural shade of pink burning on his skin.

You were looking at him almost shamelessly towards the end of filming. That’s why he kept opening his legs to sit “unladylike”. That’s why he raised his voice, bellowing angrily, confusing you with the alluring mix of feminine and masculine. That’s why he dared to glance right back at you whenever he looked around the room. He wanted to send you a message; that he knew you were watching him, and he wanted you to know that he was enjoying it.

You felt like you would certainly have a heart attack if he looked at you one more time. The way he sat back in the chair, feet planted far apart made you want to fucking straddle him then and there. He was taunting you with brief glances, and eventually outright stares. You felt an ache in your core and a wetness forming between your legs. Thank fuck this was almost over and you could pack up and leave.

“Hey!” Your colleague caught your attention. “Turns out they want to stay dressed up to go to the holiday house to have a party. Apparently you’re invited!” He exclaimed. “Maybe you could take all the spare food there. Come and help me pack and up and you can drive it over there now and set up.”

Well there goes going home. Wait. What? They invited you? You felt anxiety rising inside your chest.

“Here, let me help.” You turned towards the voice that broke your thoughts. Fucking Lee Know.

“Oh—“ you choked. “Um… it’s fine. Really.” You managed to say. He was standing awfully close to you. He wasn’t a lot taller than you were, and so you got a perfect close up view of his gorgeous face. His pretty almond eyes framed by the hair of the chestnut brown wig. How the hell were you going to survive the night? Both your nerves and horny levels were through the roof.

“I insist, kitten. Let’s get the lids on these, and I’ll help carry them out to the car.” He smiled kindly. Who were you to deny him? You were told by your boss when you started this job to do anything the idols want. If they want to help you, then you had to let them.

You felt his eyes on you as he followed you out to your car, hoping he wasn’t looking at your ass.

“So, I’ll be seeing you at the party tonight, yeah?” He asked closing the car boot and turning to lean on it.

“Well I have to be there - all the food is in my car now.” You chuckled like an idiot, then looked down at your feet.

Lee Know simply smirked at you. “You’re an interesting little kitty.” He continued to smirk whilst he’s eyes turned dark. How were you meant to respond to that?

“Well,” He suddenly stood tall as if snapping out of his thoughts, and walked around to the driver’s side of the car, opening the door for you. “Drive safely.” He said as you slid into the seat. You rolled your eyes “Yes Mum.” You mocked like you were an unamused teenager responding to an overprotective parent.

Lee Know’s energy shifted. “What did you just call me?” His tone was one of amusement, but there was something behind his eyes. Something devious. He leaned down in the doorway, one hand resting on the open door, the other on the side of the car, his curtain of “hair” framing his pretty face in the most elegant way.

“I said: Yes, Mummy.” You repeated condescendingly and locked eyes on him. Fuck he made you feel nervous, but you weren’t going to let on. Something inside you was enjoying being a little bratty.

“Hmm.” He said standing back up and closing the car door and walking back inside without another word.

You pulled up at the holiday house, knowing that you would have arrived there before the members. That gave you time to fumble around your car for your emergency “going out bag” - ready with a little black dress, a hairbrush and makeup - and then took the left over food up to the house in two trips. A staff member let you in so you could set up. You took a deep breath as you surveyed the food. Yep everything looked fine.

Your next priority was changing into your dress so you went in search of a bathroom to get changed and touch up your makeup. You didn’t want to take up the common bathroom, so you went looking for an ensuite off of a bedroom. It didn’t take long to find one that seemed suitable. The far bedroom down the hall. You’d be out of the way in this room. No one would stumble upon you there. You closed the bedroom door and went into the the bathroom, peeling off your black slacks and black blouse, realising you weren’t wearing an appropriate bra for the dress you had brought. Fuck it. You had nice tits though, so you decided to go bra-less. Your dress was a black mini dress, super tight (it’ll hold those puppies in), that zipped up the entire front - from the hem to the neckline. It was probably too much for the occasion. It was more a clubbing dress, not a hang out with some idols at a casual house party type of dress. But it was either that or your work clothes. You glanced down at the discarded slacks and blouse and then back up to your reflection. Nope! The dress it is.

Next you added some heavier eyeshadow and a tonne of mascara. Finally, a slick of red lipstick. You weren’t planning to impress anyone, right? You just needed to match the makeup to the dress.

You could hear loud music thumping, and muffled boisterous voices through the walls. The boys must have arrived.

You looked yourself over in the vanity mirror one final time. Okay. You’ve got this. You don’t actually have to speak to him. It’s okay. You reassured yourself. Just chat to someone else. Maybe Han. Or Felix. They seem safe.

You pepped yourself up, took a deep breath and opened the door to go back into the bedroom.

Your heart almost jumped out of your body and out of the window. Actually, you wanted to throw your entire body out of the window.

Lee Know. Sitting on the end of the bed. Directly facing you. Legs fucking spread. Still in Aunty-fucking-Lino mode.

His mouth was parted slightly. He was taken aback by what he saw. But he recovered quickly and you didn’t notice because you were too busy having some sort of panic attack. “W-what are you doing in here?” You asked timidly.

Lee know chuckled. “This is my room for the night. I wasn’t expecting a visitor waiting for me.”

“Oh!” Was all that came out of your mouth and your hand flew to your chest, clasping at the zipper, ensuring you were properly dressed. The way he was looking at you made you feel naked. Exposed. Vulnerable.

“I’m really sorry.” You smiled sheepishly. “I’ll be out of your way.” Of all the rooms you chose to change in, it had to be Lee Know’s.

You lowered your head and nervously made a beeline for the door. The sooner you removed yourself from the situation the better.

You reached for the door handle, but a hand landed on the door, next to your head, preventing you from opening it. Preventing you from leaving. Trapping you. A rustle of fabric grazed the back of your bare legs, making you freeze. Lee Know’s warm breath on your neck caused goosebumps to appear on your skin. You tried to ignore the ache between your legs.

But there was something else happening too. Despite your nerves. Despite this situation being inappropriate and unprofessional. Despite your oftentimes timid nature, you were curious. It was almost like there was a little devil on your shoulder, a little voice that made your insides itch to torment Lee Know.

“What’s the matter? Doesn’t Mummy want to let me out of the house dressed like this?” You boldly teased.

Lee Know pressed his erection into your ass, startling you. He wasn’t wearing anything underneath his dress, his hard cock bouncing freely against you made that perfectly clear. You laughed condescendingly and continued to torment. “Afraid some boys will ruin my honour? Steal my innocence, hmm?”

Lee know growled and spun you around and pushed you against the door.

“There won’t be anything for those boys to ruin once I let you leave this room.” He sneered low and deadly, staring into your eyes.

His gaze dropped to your zipper. You held your breath. He won’t. Surely. He took his thumb and forefinger and grasped the toggle. Oh fuck he is going to. He unzipped your dress all the way, causing it to pop open and your bare tits to spill out, exposing you to the man in front of you.

Your hands automatically came to cover your breasts, a red hot flush overtaking your body.

“Tsk tsk, little one.” He soothed, taking a hand to yours and peeling it slowly away from your chest. “You need to show Mummy what you’re hiding.” He said softly. As you let him remove your hands, his eyes hungrily roamed your almost naked body. You held your breath as he sucked in a breath through his teeth. A pained expression on his face.

“What else have you been keeping secret?’ He leaned his mouth against your neck, making you shudder.

“N-nothing.” Your voice trembled. Lee Know’s energy felt so intoxicating.

“Don’t fucking lie to me.” His voice deep in your ear, his fingers resting on your hips.

“I-I’m not.” You repeat he dug his fingers hard into your flesh.

“I’m going to have to check for myself, then.” He whispered. He slid his hand all the way down your body and slipped a finger between your lips, exploring, checking. You closed your eyes. You knew you were absolutely soaked. There was no way to deny it.

“I knew it. You were hiding something from Mummy, after all.” He smirked. “I saw the way you were looking at me earlier. Yet you said you weren’t hiding anything from me.” He shoved a finger into your pussy without warning, making you cry out and throw your head back.

“I’m sorry.” You panted. You were alarmed at the wet noises that were already coming from your cunt as Lee Know started to finger fuck you.

“Sorry who?” He snarled.

“Ahh… Sorry, Mummy.” You cried.

“Sorry for what?” He demanded, thrusting into your spongy wall.

“Sorry I was hiding it.” You said, whimpering now.

“Hiding what.” Oh god you were almost there already.

“That I want you to fuck me.” Your hand flung over you mouth. What the fuck did you just say? How did he just get you to say that?

“Why do you want Mummy to fuck you?” There was genuine curiosity behind is eyes. His fingers stilled inside you while he waited for your to respond.

“Because you’re just so pretty…and soft. Delicate, even. Makes me want to taste your lips.” You whimper, almost in tears because he had stopped fingering you when you were so close to climaxing.

“Let me make it clear, I’m far from pretty, or soft, or delicate.” Minho spat and raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. He didn’t like that you thought he was soft. You needed to be taught just how punishing, brutal, satisfying he could be. He smashed down hard on your mouth. His sticky lip gloss mixing with your bright red lipstick.

His tongue pushed it’s way into your mouth and you took it willingly, letting it explore your own tongue, taking up space inside your mouth. His kiss letting you know how much he wanted to be inside your body, and what it felt like to have him possess you.

You pulled away. “You’re wrong, Mummy. I bet your cock’s pretty… ” You whispered.

“On your knees. Now.” He growled. “Mummy needs to punish you for hiding things.”

You immediately sunk to your knees and Lee Know pulled your dress off completely, leaving you on in just your tiny purple, soaking, satin thong. You were shaking with anticipation and arousal as your fingers gripped the hem of his skirt. You slowly gathered the delicate fabric, lifting it up… up… up. Slowly revealing his strong, toned thighs. You gulped. You were almost there. Almost at the top of his legs. Just another inch, and there it was. The most mouthwatering cock you had ever seen. Your eyes widened.

The sight was positively obscene. He looked so soft and delicate in his wig, makeup and layers of pretty fabric. But underneath his skirt he was rock hard, veins bulging, pre-cum oozing from the tip. His angry erection eager and ready to tear up a pussy or a mouth. Your mouth. Right now.

Lee know took the skirt from your hands, bunching it up and holding it behind his back so that his view of you wasn’t obstructed. His other hand rested above you on the door.

You kept your eyes on him as you slowly dragged your fingernails up his thighs, noticing his eyes close momentarily as he shuddered through an exhale. He was trying to hide the anticipation and pure lust that ran through his veins. You wrapped your fingers around the base of his cock, pointing it towards you. You leaned in and kissed the tip then smeared the pre-cum over your lips. “Fuck, baby girl. Stop teasing.” He panted when your tongue poked out and licked the tip. Despite your cunt begging you to throw him on the bed and demand he fuck the living shit out of you, you wanted to take your time pleasuring him with your mouth. Lee Know stayed as still as possible, using all his willpower not tear up your throat with his cock as you continued to take it slow.

You licked his shaft from base to tip, you tongue exploring the ridges of his veins that ran along the length. You lifted his cock towards his stomach so you could take his balls in your mouth, suckling them, humming on them. “F-fuckkk!” Lee Know hissed. You could feel his legs shake slightly, faltering just the slightest bit. And then you wrapped your lips around the head of his dick and sunk down as far as you could in one fluid motion. Lee Know whimpered and you purred at how good it felt to have him in your mouth.

You sped up your movements as your head bobbed up and down along his cock, taking more and more of him into the back of your throat. Saliva began to drip down your hand that was working the remaining length you couldn’t quite take. You wanted to take him entirely and tears sprang from your eyes as you gagged around him. “So fucking perfect…mmmm….so slutty…..slutty little girl just wants cock, hmm? So pretty, so dirty with Mummy’s cock rammed down her throat.” Filthy words spilled from his mouth.

Looking down at you endearingly, he reached down and grasped your jaw, forcing it open in the most careful and gentle way. You locked eyes on him as he slowly withdrew his cock, holding your jaw still, sighing as more and more of it emerged from your mouth dripping in saliva. He was almost the whole way out, and your cunt clenched in anticipation to be filled, but Lee Know simply sunk back into your mouth again with a low groan. He pushed himself all the way in, pressing the back of your head towards him as he pushed his hips forward. You couldn’t breath for a good thirty seconds. Then he eased out enough for you to take a breath. You had to be quick though, because he was back down your throat without warning.

Tears ran down your face as your air supply was repeatedly cut off, but never longer than you could handle. The head of his cock making you gag, causing your eyes to water even more.

“So messy for me.” Lee know murmured, smearing your mascara further down your cheek with his thumb. “You look like a little slut, the way you take all of me in like that.” Lee know started fuck your face faster now, your hands gripping onto his perfect dancer’s thighs so you wouldn’t get knocked backwards. Not that you really could be knocked backwards with his hand holding you so firmly against his pelvis on every thrust.

All you could think about was how much you needed this cock inside another hole. Any of them. All of them! You wanted Lee Know to fill you up in every way.

“Fuck! You feel so good. Such a good fucking girl.” He grunted. Good girl. Oh god you needed him to fuck you. You were more than ready. You reached down to your drenched panties, pushing the fabric aside and started to rub your clit frantically. You needed the release. You needed to fucking come!

Lee know pulled your head back by your hair, pulling his cock out of your mouth. “On the bed right fucking now.” He demanded, pulling you up and pushing you down on the bed. “Head down, ass up. Let me get a good look at you.” He gripped one of your ass cheek, the jiggle eliciting a low growl from him. “If you turn your head the other way you’ll be in for a treat.” He whispered peeling your panties down your thighs.

You lifted your mascara stained cheek off the mattress and turned to rest your other cheek on the bed. You were staring directly into a full length mirror, and you were just in time to watch Lee Know approach you from behind.

With one hand holding his skirt out of the way and the other around his length, he lined himself up to your slick entrance, but didn’t penetrate you just yet. He teased you a moment longer by dragging his tip through your dripping lips from the entrance to your clit. Your legs were already trembling from the sheer desperation of needing to be speared by his cock. And you could see it all unfolding in the reflection of the mirror. The moment Lee know’s hips pushed forward. The moment the tip pushed passed your entrance making you gasp at both the visual and the actual sensation of him stretching you open. You saw the furrowed brow and then the look of relief on his face as he sunk further into your cunt. You saw him flick his long hair over his shoulder and then grip your hip as he began to thrust into you fully.

“So tight… your cunt feels so fucking tight.” He mumbled, losing himself immediately.

“Am I wet, Mummy?” You choked. You caught him smirk at your desperation for praise.

“Mmm… absolutely fucking soaking… listen carefully you can hear it… “

You could hear the squelching sounds filling the room but you wanted him to tell you. You wanted to hear him say dirty things.

“Is this what you wanted? Mummy to stuff your pussy full of cock?” He quickened his thrusts, the tip of his cock hitting you deep inside. “Answer me.” Me growled and slapped a hand down on your ass. You cried out at the sting. “Yes, M-mummy.” Lee Know slapped you again. “That’s it, you can scream… no one’s gonna hear you. No one will come and help you.” His words made your walls clench, the thought of being trapped in the room where no one could hear your screams, where Lee Know could do anything he desired, made the tension in you core tighten. You were going to come any moment.

“Fuck, your cunt is sucking me in… greedy, tight, little…grr.” He propped a foot up on the bed next to your leg to get a different, a deeper, angle. His deep, hard, brutal thrusts slamming directly against your cervix. Over and over and… “Fuckkk!!! Mummmy!!!! Ahhhh.” You cried out at full volume as you involuntarily clenched and relaxed around Lee Know’s cock. Your entire body convulsed and shook with what was easily one of the most intense orgasms you’ve ever had. Especially when your clitoris was practically untouched. After you came down, Lee Know pulled out abruptly and you collapsed on the bed, still shaking. You rolled onto your back and looked up at Lee Know, expecting him to be depositing his load on your body. But instead, you found him trying to calm his breath and slow his heart. His cock was screaming for release, but it seemed he didn’t want to come just yet. “Lee Know, let me take care of you.” You sat up, reaching for him.

He shook his head. “No, sweet kitten. Just give me a sec.” He panted as though he was in pain, and you were confused. He climbed up on the bed and laid on his back, his head resting on the pillows.

He reached out for you with his hand. “Come ride me…please.” He ushered you over to him, desperation on his face. He had just fucking edged himself.

You kicked off your panties entirely and climbed up to straddle him. He looked a mess. His wig slightly askew, his own mascara running down his cheeks, your red lipstick smeared across his lower lip. He looked perfectly fucked up. You bit on your lower lip as you sank over his cock, drawing a sharp a hiss from his mouth. “So tight.” He mumbled under his breath. “So fucking wet.” He closed his eyes and let his head fall back onto the pillow. His hands found purchase on your hips as you rolled your them, grinding against him. You moved slowly, your clit pressing against his hard lower abdomen.

“Open your eyes, Mummy. Look at me. Watch me. Am I doing good?” You purred. Lee Know opened his eyes. They were blown out, hazy with lust and the need to climax. Yet there was also a kindness and a softness to them.

“You’re doing so good, little one. So fucking perfect.” He smiled. “I need you to make Mummy come now. Good girl. Yes like that.” He praised you as you moved a little faster. Lee Know’s cock filled you so well. Stretching you perfectly. Touching the deepest parts of you. “You really do have a pretty cock, you know? Need you to fill me up with your cum now. Need it deep inside my pussy.” You were losing yourself as well as another orgasm was building. You looked down at the man underneath you, reaching down and playing with the little tie on his jacket and then reaching up to cup his cheek. He pulled you down onto him, taking your mouth with his, finding your tongue, climbing inside of you. Possessing you completely.

Something inside him snapped, and with his hands digging into your hips he began to pound into you brutally from underneath you. Loud whimpers jolting out of you from the force behind his hips. He brought a thumb to your clit, circling it as he knocked the breath out of you time and time again. “Come with me.” It wasn’t quite a demand, it was more of a plea.

“Come in me. Fill me up…please.” You plead in return as your orgasm hit. Electricity shot through your body and out your fingers and toes, and you clamped down hard around Lee know’s cock. “Oh fucking Go—” you cried at the top of your lungs.

“Fuckkkk!!!” Lee know growled as hips hips faltered and you felt his hot seed spurt deep inside of you. His orgasm seemed to last an eternity, and you knew there was so much cum, you could feel it coating your insides. It was already starting to leak out around the base of his cock.

After a few moments you pulled off him, flinging yourself on the bed next to him. You were both still panting, trying to catch your breath. Trying to process what had just happened.

“Fuck that was amazing!” Lee Know stated. “I didn’t expect to be so into that.”

You rolled onto your side and looked at him. “What, the Mummy thing or the cross dressing?” you asked.

“Both.” He suddenly looked nervous. You leaned down and kissed him slow and deep. “Me either.” You admitted.

“Hey,” he pushed a strand of hair out of your face. “Let’s go take a shower, and then I’ll show you what Daddy can do to you.” He whispered deviously.

@noellllslut @kangnina @weareapackofstrays @channieandhisgoonsquad @queenmea604

#lee know smut #lee know x reader #lee minho x reader #aunt lino #sorshas fic

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hyunjinniesgirl · 2 years

Text

☆.｡.:*skz as types of couples.｡.:*☆

hi besties!! i haven't posted in so long so here's a lil ot8 fluff i've had in my drafts for a while :') pls note that i'll also be renovating my blog and updating my tag system over the next few weeks months so if my blog looks weird n inconsistent that's why!! okie i hope u enjoy this one!! :33

wc: 2k (roughly 250 words per member)

genre: fluff!! members x gn!reader

warnings: mentions of food

bang chan - the dependable couple

you and chan are the boys’ go-tos when they need any kind of help. since chan is their leader, you often pick up on his habits and take care of the kids without anyone asking you to. if one day one of the members looks particularly down you’ll chat with them and keep them company in attempts to liven their spirits the same way you know chan would if he was there. it may sound weird to others, but chan fell in love with you through the love and care you showed his members. his favorite thing about you is how compassionate and empathetic you are without expecting anything in return, but of course chan does his best to be everything you deserve in a partner.

the boys will also come to you guys for relationship advice!! if they’re having troubles with their partners the two of you always offer a supportive shoulder, listening to them and helping them resolve the problem in a healthy manner!! the members feel comfortable around you both enough to talk about every aspect of their relationship (even the things you don’t particularly want to know about) and you and chan happily give them a safe space to feel and express their feelings. you two are the designated relationship repair duo and their partners have no clue, they genuinely just think the other boys came to their senses on their own lmfao.

lee know - the practically married couple

all of the members constantly make fun of you two for playing house in the dorm. you don’t even live there but you could often be seen making dinner or reorganizing their fridge (it’s all minho’s ingredients anyway). when you’re bickering over something stupid the boys will make jokes like “ugh the parents are fighting again” and it makes you giggle to yourself but you carry on with the bit for funsies “i’m not your parent until minho gets on his knee and gives me a ring!” “ah jagiya stop with that, i thought we agreed not in front of the kids!”

despite the bickering—because we all know minho is an instigator—the two of you are seen being sweet to each other a lot. minho likes to keep his arm around you so it’s easy to pull you in for loooong soft kisses whenever he pleases, looking down at you with soft eyes and teasing you before pulling you in for another hearty kiss. the other members just groan when they walk in on you two making out softly on the couch. you’re the deep clean the house on sunday mornings while listening to love songs couple, getting distracted when your song comes on. your cleaning supplies are long forgotten as the two of you dance around the living room, minho spinning and dipping you theatrically making you explode in a fit of giggles before he holds you close, your back to his chest, and sways you in place while singing the rest of the song into your ear.

bonus: the two of you are kid and pet magnets. soonie doongie and dori adore you, and your little cousin never wants to let go of minho’s hand when he comes with you to family parties.

seo changbin - the family oriented couple

even if you aren’t too fond of your family, you’re fond of changbin’s family. changbin introduced you to his family early in your relationship and you knew there wouldn’t be any way around it. you were scared at first, knowing that his mom and sister play a big role in his life and it didn’t help that every time he was on the phone with them he’d talk about you endlessly, praising you the same way he raps—so fast his mom and sister are scared he isn’t even breathing on the other end of the line. of course, the initial meeting goes smoothly and you’re a regular at the seo household. now that he has you, changbin’s mom definitely makes him do more domestic stuff in front of you like help her make dinner and help her clean to show you just how husband material he is hehe.

baby. photos. so many of them. when you get on texting basis, binnie’s mom will send you baby pictures she finds of changbin and while he doesn’t get embarrassed by it, it’ll become so frequent to the point where if you’re cooing at something on your phone he’ll assume its his mom. your lock screen is def a picture of baby changbin wearing a cute lil sunhat squinting in the sun, and then you unlock your phone and your home screen is big changbin wearing a sunhat squinting in the sun :D

hwang hyunjin - the romantic couple

i feel like this is so obvious but being with hyunjin is like being the main character in a romance novel. that boy does all the puppy love stuff except he’s actually in love with you. he buys you flowers on his way back from the jyp building, buys you books and writes poems on the back of the receipts, sings to you when you can’t sleep, and always takes the time to understand where you’re coming from if he unknowingly upsets you. the romantic and grand gestures never end with him because he refuses to let the honeymoon phase die, no matter how hard it gets.

spontaneous trips together are your “thing.” when hyunjin has three or more days off he’ll always want to go on a short trip even if the destination is only a few train stops away. truly the king of romantic staycations!! once you get to your destination your first mission is to stake out the pool and swim together if the weather is nice :’) hyunjin likes to have swimming races with you but when you’re both tired and out of energy, he’ll wrap your legs around his torso and your arms around his neck talking softly while floating around the pool. with the sun setting in the background and hyunjin’s warm body against you, you feel completely relaxed and grateful for the alone time with him. you explore the city for the next few days taking candid photos of each other with hyunjin’s fancy camera :')

bonus: the two of you definitely have a scrapbook or box of film photos and they’re just filled with cute goofy pictures of each other :’)

han jisung - the lazy day couple

your favorite thing to do together is rot in bed and watch anime. the two of you do go on dates from time to time but nothing beats cuddling on the couch and watching tv with an abundance of snacks surrounding you. the two of you would be blissfully catching up on anime when one of you shifts and accidentally sits on the remote, exiting the show you were watching. you both look at each other with wide eyes, irritated like “why tf would you do that you just ruined the suspense” and when you fish the remote from under your butt ji makes a fake tsking noise. you also nap all day together when he has a day off after continuous exhausting schedules, losing track of time just falling asleep in each other's arms then waking up to kiss and talk sleepily then go back to sleep.

you settle everything with rock paper scissors, always. winner picks the food and loser pays. ji loses almost every time to the point where you think he’s doing it on purpose (not quite sure how you lose rock paper scissors on purpose but ji tries so that you don’t have to pay and you can eat whatever you want :D). you also do rock paper scissors to determine who gets up to turn off the lights, who throws away the trash, who actually gets up to get the food from the delivery person. watching jisung eat is the highlight of your day, watching his puffy cheeks fill up with food, you just peck kisses on him while he eats.

lee felix - the cuddly couple

yongbok skinship king :’) he just wants you closer even if you’re nose to nose, and you feel the same way. let’s say you weren’t very into skinship at first but the more felix would sneak up behind you, wrap his arms delicately around your waist and speak softly in your ear, the more you would fold for the sunshine man. when the two of you go to the farmer’s market he always holds your hand, only letting go to check how ripe a few avocados are before grabbing your hand once again. he just really can’t resist touching you in one way or another so that everyone knows that you’re a couple, but not even in a possessive way, he just feels comfort knowing that he can express his affection for you publicly. felix is definitely the type of guy to rub his thumb in small circles while your fingers are intertwined. and you don’t mind one bit.

he doesn’t mind being affectionate with you around the boys because he’s equally as affectionate with them. he will definitely kiss everyone’s forehead goodnight because he doesn’t want them to feel left out when he kisses yours. he feels no shame kissing you in front of the members, though they are typically rated pg kisses, just pecks or closed mouth kisses, he just isn’t shy with affection. he’ll call you sweet nicknames around them too like honey, sweetheart, baby, literally anything but your name.

bonus: bokkie likes playing video games but he likes them better when you’re sitting on his lap or straddling him like a koala and he just snakes his arms around you to play (i know that doesn’t sound too comfy but the thought of it is v v cute to me ok.)

kim seungmin - the couple that no one believes is a couple

kim seungmin reserves his softest moments for you and only you. in private, seungmo kisses your forehead, holds your face in his hands to bump noses and scratches your head when you lay it on his lap, but when you’re around other people he won’t even think about being outwardly affectionate with you aside from a mere “jagi” when trying to get your attention. this raised problems at the beginning stages of your relationship because you had assumed his lack of affection towards you around other people was because he was embarrassed of you. in reality seungmo just wanted you to know that those moments are special to him and he didn’t think your friend circles needed to see the two of you like that. after all of this gets cleared up, minnie makes sure to pull you onto his lap or wrap an arm around you whenever you’re with the other members or your friends.

again i feel like this is so obvious but he likes to tease!! sometimes you’ll pretend to be offended by one of his jokes and fake pout until he holds your face in his hands and kisses all over your cheeks, forehead, and nose. you’ll get him back by threatening to spoil the book or manga he’s currently reading which is a very effective tactic and it shuts him right up.

bonus: in the mornings minnie will make the two of you coffee (or tea if you prefer) and bring it back to you in bed so that you can enjoy your morning together talking about the dreams that you had the night before and your plans for the day while sipping on your drinks hehe

yang jeongin - the aesthetic couple

if you look up the definition of boyfriend in the dictionary you’ll find a picture of yang jeongin. and if you go through his camera roll, it’s all pictures of you. you with a printed face mask on, you and the big soft serve ice cream you bought at the fair, you holding the big stuffed bear he won you, and every single picture is instagram worthy. your boyfriend has truly been trained well because every picture he takes of you is perfect and all of your friends are jealous. the two of you also make whoever you’re with take plandid pictures of the two of you, especially when you coordinate outfits.

the two of you coordinate outfits so much that even on days when you don’t intend to, the color of your top and the color of jeongin’s bottoms match effortlessly. And don’t even get me started on shoes. jeongin’s shoe addiction is everyone’s problem, especially yours. because now you’re downing in shoes that match with him; same style, different color. keeping up with the clothes theme, you often steal each other's clothes to the point where you barely remember what belongs to who. innie would be running late for a lesson and be frustrated because he wanted to wear a particular hoodie but couldn’t find it anywhere. that evening on facetime with you he notices you’re wearing the hoodie and just stares at you with his adorable puppy eyes. “what’s wrong, baby?” “that’s not your hoodie!” “yes, it is!” “no it isn’t, i wore it a few weeks ago!” “because i let you borrow it!”

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thank you for reading!! please reblog, leave an ask, or shoot me a message if you enjoyed :') all my luv always <3

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