#and then you got two miserable guys but one of them has morals

[tyrantisterror]

Top ten favorite Orcs? Either specific characters or a given setting’s take on the species as a whole.

I'm not sure I have enough strong feelings about Orcs to really make an interesting list of ten, but what the hell I'll try.

Tolkien's orcs - not just LOTR orcs, but specifically orcs as written by J.R.R. Tolkien - are pretty high up there for me. I've probably mentioned this more than enough on this blog, but I'm still moved by the moment in The Lord of the Rings where we get this conversation between two orcs when their bosses aren't around, where both of them commiserate with each other about how shitty being drafted into Sauron's war is, how they long to go back to their simpler life as mountain bandits, and how, maybe, if they could find a way to escape being caught by their superiors, they could run off and find someplace far from the war to settle down together. Their names are Shagrat and Gorbag, and later in the book one of the heroes finds them among a pile of dead orcs, their dream of a simpler life tragically unfulfilled. I bring this up because, for all the flak Tolkien's cosmology gets for codifying the fantasy trope of "Always Chaotic Evil" races, there's a lot more moral complexity to his "evil" races than most people think. The orcs we meet in his stories are universally pretty nasty people - even Gorbag and Shagrat can't conceive of a simple life that doesn't involve killing people for their valuables - but it's very clear this is a result of the culture they are living in, which, if you get nerdy and read up on the Lore (TM), is one that has been specifically designed by the Middle Earth equivalent of Satan to turn all living things in it into tools of warfare - a world that exists solely to serve as a vast machine of industrialized conquest and mass murder. And it makes them miserable. Orcs don't like living this way, even though it's the only way they know how to live. They are at once victim and villain, and that's explicitly the canon way to look at them in the text. So it kind of sucks that their reputation in pop culture - and how they're presented in most adaptations, including good ol' PJ's film trilogy - is as one-dimensional evil henchmen, because they do have more going on than that in the books themselves, and it enriches the themes of the story when those dimensions are included.

The orcs in Rune Factory are probably my favorite from a design standpoint. I'm kind of neutral at best with the standard "green skinned humans with optional tusks" look of most orcs. There's nothing wrong with it, but it doesn't thrill me either, existing in the same nebulous space as, like, traditional fantasy elves, dwarves, and hobbit expies - I understand why they're classics, but they feel kind of boring when you've got other options on the table. So seeing these guys when I booted up my first Rune Factory game was a revelation - finally, orcs that look INTERESTING! And they're so cute, these gnarly little Jim Hensen/Brian Froud style pig people. And they'll help you water your plants! A+ Tier orcs as far as I'm concerned.

Dungeon Meshi found a good middle ground between "gnarly boar people" and "humans with tusks" that I really like, and while the orcs aren't given a whole lot of focus, what world building we do get about them is pretty great, taking a lot of the classic orc tropes and giving them that Ryoko Kui caliber thought and detail that makes them so wonderful.

What else... well, ok, my brain still categorizes these guys as "goblins" rather than "orcs," but since the two are more or less synonymized in both Tolkien and the Rankin Bass adaptations of his work, I guess I can include them. They're one of my favorite designs for goblins of all time, and since I generally like goblins more than orcs, I guess this makes them my favorite orc design by default? I just love them, nasty little toad people.

The 1980 Return of the King movie in particular is one of the few adaptations that keeps Tolkien's sympathy for the orcs in tact, with Frodo even having a dream sequence about living in a world where his run in with orcs is fully pleasant, each of them waving at each other as they cross paths, content to share a beautiful world together.

And while it adapts the parts of the text that take place after the deaths of poor Shagrat and Gorbag, it still manages to work in a moment where the orcs lament their lot in life by way of the infamous "Where There's a Whip There's a Way" song written just for the film. I know this song is generally viewed as "bad" and corny and whatever, fuck that, I unironically love it. It's my wakeup alarm for workdays. I am these orcs five days out of the week.

What else...

So, like, kind of a cheat I suppose, but the Darkspawn in Dragon Age take a lot of cues from Tolkien's take on orcs, right down to seeming like they're just always chaotic evil at first glance, and also being the product of Supernatural Crimes Against Nature by semi-divine powers. And indeed, in Dragon Age Origins you're basically given no reason to view them as anything but evil obstacles to destroy, especially when you learn the body-horror involved in how they reproduce (it's more in the vein of Slither than Goblin Slayer, for those unaware - grotesque but, thankfully, not in that way).

But the big ol' DLC for the same game, called Dragon Age Awakening, throws a big monkey wrench in that view of them. We meet Darkspawn who are capable of speech - ones that have been broken free of the evil hivemind their species is ruled by, and, like freed borg drones, are now at a loss of what to do with themselves. They are, like Tolkien's orcs before them, a people who were made for war and violence, and yet still crave something more than that when given the chance to think about it. It's something that hasn't been followed up on much since, sadly, but it's a damn cool take.

What else...

I'm probably the only person who still remembers this movie, especially with any fondness, but I liked the orcs in the Warcraft movie directed by David Bowie's son. They were given a lot of nuance and I honestly think their parts of the film were by the far the best. Actually I remember liking that movie a lot despite some of its pacing issues, I should revisit it.

Ok that's not ten takes but I feel like there are at least 10 designs on display here so I'm calling this done.

[unicornsaures]

johnny and dallas fighting with tim and dallas in my head rn and neither are winning so im flipping back and forth between reblogging the two like a madman

#being a multishipper is HARD #because im still caught up in 'would blahblahblah really work..' #tally vs jally ugh #you got two miserable guys #and then you got two miserable guys but one of them has morals #one half of my brain wants tally absolutely beating the shit out of each otjer for fun they patching eachother up #the other fiends for jally hurt/comfort of any kind #because im really bad at writing dally in character so hes either a bitch or hes with johnny #depends on the mood idk! #i am leaning towards tally #because i will eventually prefer one over the other #but first i need to learn to actually draw tim #i need to draw dally so bad but im not draeing him alone rven if hes a loner #need tim and dally just FIGHTING on the FLOOR #and then an aftermath where theyre still insulting each other about how bad they are at fighting while they put bandages on esch otjer #dolirants

[transmascissues]

Songs sung in T voices? You mean just regular male voices because trans men are men

imagine being so miserable that you see a post about trans joy and pride in transmasculinity and the first thing you think is “i’m going to find a way to see this as transphobia instead”.

i have a t voice. my voice is distinctly different from most cis men’s voices in a way that a lot of other trans people’s voices are distinctly different after being on t. a lot of us have voices with a unique quality to them. the claim that me, a trans man with a t voice, talking about voices like mine somehow implies that my own gender isn’t real…is just fucking wild, honestly.

i think t voices are BEAUTIFUL. i love them so much, having my own voice sound like that was genuinely one of the things i was the most excited about when i started t because to me, that voice is the kind i heard when i watched videos made by other trans guys that taught me about what was possible for me and met other trans guys irl for the first time and got advice on transitioning or just life from them. it’s such a comforting sound and so important to me.

nothing about recognizing that distinctive quality implies that trans men aren’t real men. i have a t voice just like i have a deep voice, a quiet voice, a tonally expressive voice — it’s just a descriptor for one of many things that can make a voice unique. my voice is a “male voice” and it’s also a t voice because i’m a man whose voice has been affected by going on t in a distinctive way. the two aren’t in any way at odds with each other.

if i described my chest as a post-op chest, would you come into my inbox saying “you mean just a regular male chest?” i have a feeling you probably wouldn’t because on some level, even you get that talking about unique parts of living in a trans body doesn’t invalidate who we are. it’s fine if you personally wouldn’t want to describe your voice that way because it makes you dysphoric or isn’t applicable to your voice or isn’t as meaningful to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s morally incorrect for me to do so.

trans bodies are wonderful. visible (or in this case, audible) transness is wonderful. it’s not a bad thing to have features that are distinctively trans, and having those features doesn’t make you less of a man. we don’t have to reject our transness or be exactly like cis men to be real men because cis manhood isn’t the gold standard, it’s just one of many ways to be a man.

(also, not everyone who goes on t is a trans man, so not every t voice is a male voice. it’s funny how the people who get mad at me for being proud of my t voice are always the same ones who have really gender essentialist and binaristic views on transitioning.)

so no, i don’t mean “regular male voices”, i mean fucking t voices because that was a post about unashamed in-your-face proud transmasculinity, not transmasculinity that tries to make itself indistinguishable from cis manhood. please keep your assimilationist bullshit away from my trans joy, thank you very much.

#if there is one thing i will do its sit here at 5am writing essays in response to angry anons #is it a good use of my time? idk. is it a cathartic one? you bet. #anon hate #examples of transandrophobia #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #trans men #transmascs

[napakmahal]

Elegant like Emma D’Arcy

This may or may not be my personal love for aquiline noses and the fact I love that they chose to give Tadashi a more noticeable nose shape. 🤍

You and Tadashi we just having a well-deserved quiet night in. Finals were over and winter break had started. The seaters came out, and the books went away for four weeks. A little upsetting that San Fransokyo was not the place to go if you wanted to experience snow, all they got was rain and on occasion: hail. But the overly cold chill in the air and the light sprinkle of icey waters falling from the grey skies justified the cuddling. You were on your stomach, one leg was tossed over Tadashi’s torso with your face smushed against his chest. His laptop was resting on his nightstand, playing some crappy Christmas hallmark movie about the cliche big-city girl and flannel-wearing, small-town boy. There were so many of those with covers that looked nearly identical that neither of you could name the movie without looking at the title.

“Do you think there are really people like that?” You asked, your voice slightly mushed.

With a decent amount of vocal fry your boyfriend answered, “Like what?”

“People that would just straight up dip from their high-paying jobs and comfy lives just because they met someone.”

Shrugging as much as he could. “I’m sure of it. Plus it’s kind of romantic. No?”

“Pfft,” You scoffed. “I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure that counts as some form of self-sabotage.”

“What?” Tadashi smiled down at your head. “You wouldn’t quit a job or leave your city for me?”

“No way would you let me.”

That made them both laugh because it was true. Tadashi wanted nothing but the best for you, and leaving everything or any opportunity at all would cause a riff between you. He didn’t like the idea of being the guy that might have indirectly guilt-tripped you into not living to your full potential. Nor did he like the idea of you being miserable because you stayed or left. He is the embodiment of the scene where Jess from Gilmore Girls gets angry at Rory for dropping out of Yale.

“Why? Would you just give up everything just for me?” She raised her eyebrows up at him.

He had to think about that for a moment. Part of the reason you loved him so much was because of his dedication to the people he loved. It was his core moral that he’d carried with him for years on end. “Maybe not everything, but I’d compromise.”

It was almost hypocritical. Just the thought of you quitting or missing out on anything because of him made him want to punch a hole in the wall. Yet when it came to you or anyone else he held in high regard he made so much of an effort to make everyone happy. That’s true love by the way. Watching the happiness of someone you love and finding joy in it despite you maybe not being in the picture.

“That’s not fair.” You groaned into his chest.

The ringing and movement of his chest fluttered against the side of your head. “It is to me.”

“You suck.”

“You suck.”

“You both suck!” Hiro came crashing into the room. The dark circles under his eyes looked more like shopping bags and his skin had grown dry and cracked. He’d just finished taking a three-hour final with a written portion, a matching portion, and in an in-person experiment with stations.

“Hey dude,” Tadashi smiled at his older brother. “How’d it go?”

Instead of answering, Hiro just collapsed onto the floor and for a while, you thought he might have stopped breathing. That fear was soothed by the loud snores of a young teen boy who hadn’t gotten any proper sleep for almost two weeks straight.

“He might drop out after this.” You laughed.

Tadashi’s eyes sprung open like they were going to pop out of his head, “I don’t think so. After all, I did to get him in. No way, I’ll shoot him before he does.”

“Aww, but he’s so tired. “You fake pitied and pouted.

“He has three weeks to rest, he’ll be fine.”

For the next few minutes, the two of you went back to enjoying the heat of the other’s bodies, finding calm in the breathing noises between you two, and after a while, you’d start to tune the movie out. It’s not like it was that interesting anyway. The very generic-looking couple were having some kind of fight about her using him for some big corporation story. Didn’t make much sense and wasn’t that compelling in any way.

Out of boredom, you started drawing invisible shapes into your boyfriends skin with your fingers when you got to his neck and hear his jaw and face. Tadashi’s side profile is so beautiful, especially his nose. Tadashi had a very elegant aquiline nose, with the perfect nose bridge. It fit his face like no other.

You brought your finger up to his face and started grazing the top of his nose bridge, tracing the lines of his face. He’s ethereal.

“What are you doing, hon?” Tadashi pressed his face down and glared down trying to see his own nose.

“I’m admiring your nose.” You admitted, fully focused on the center of his face.

“I can see-er I can feel that. Why?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know. It’s just so pretty.”

“You think my nose is pretty?” He chuckled.

“Mhmm,” You hummed. “Like it suits you so well. Your nose makes you look so elegant. Like Emma D’Arcy.”

Tadashi grabbed your hand gently and pulled it away from his face. Instead, he brought your hand to his lips and started pecking kisses all over your palm, wrist, and parts of your forearms. “Thank you hun, I’m glad you find my nose so elegant.”

“You’re welcome, beautiful boy.” You craned your body forward to peck him on the lips.

Tadashi smiled down at you, “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.”

#baymax #big hero 6 #big hero six #tadashi hamada #hiro hamada #bh6 x reader #tadashi hamada x reader #hiro hamada x reader #disney #fanfic #emma d'arcy #aquiline nose #tumblr #napakmahal #writers on tumblr

[ctntduotism]

YASSS OK

ctntduo au where they're just in a strict evangelical all boys school where Q low-key dgaf about this Jesus shit and knows he likes guys and finds comfort that his identity is a way to retaliate

W is the religious freak here, suffering from comphet 😞 they're both in the honor roll class and the two of the best students in the school. Q low-key has a crush on W (W does too but he just thinks it's admiration)

Something something shit happens and W "accidentally" kisses Q and freaks the fuck out. He thinks Q is gonna tell the whole school and he probably didn't sleep at night cause he thinks god is gonna strike him down.

He doesn't come to school for like two days out of just constant fear, so Q is hella concerned and think he fucked it up with his crush.

Ok so that's basically the sorta plot

Brain vomit under here

Not really sure if I should but maybe Q telling W that it's ok that he kissed him cause he's gay! But of course W is like dumb so he tells one of the nuns in genuine concern for Q cause he thinks the devil has got him and he genuinely wants to help him (morally grey character wahoo). This makes Q absolutely despise W btw (rightfully so)

Also Q has a bit of a troublemaker reputation, he's smart but often disagrees with the teachings and doesn't take it seriously. He conflicts a lot with W cause he's the obedient good kid and follows the teachings cause that's what he's told to do.

W faith is like sorta shaky in a way that he follows the teachings kinda blindly and it's just really hammered into his head but he himself doesn't really get it, he's scared to doubt them because "the word of god is never wrong!!!". Again conflicting with Q's whole doubting everything and questioning every authority

And and y'know that one TikTok audio? "I wish you were a girl" THATS THEM

(I literally don't know shit about the honor roll cause my country don't have that) the honor class doesn't have a lot of students so Q and W come across each other a lot (plus the fact that they're both top students and is expected to compete) and end up being friendly up until that kissing incident, W tries to avoid Q but of course he can't so they just kinda made a silent agreement to not talk about it. (Q would complain but he really doesn't want to push away his crush and he thinks that he can change his mind) so W ignores how much his heart beats whenever Q is around and how much he draws him on his notes (he probably stare at those drawings at home he's actually so gay for him I feel so bad)

Since hanging out with Q a lot W has been questioning his own faith a lott, it scares the shit out of him and sometimes he tries to fight Q about it. W is smart and he of course realizes that Q is often right and even if he tries to deny it it'll constantly nag at him.

The sorta ending I have is that Q helps W to accept himself but! I have an idea that maybe W is just a stubborn mf and when they graduate they go their own separate ways. W would marry a woman and have a daughter (Tallulah?). No surprises here he's miserable but he loves his daughter so he tries to stay for her. Tallulah is queer

He'd tell Tallulah that she needs to keep strong with her faith cause god often gives tests to see how loyal she is, and so basically

W : Y'know one time I kissed a boy and the devil nearly got me into his trap, thank the lord that I persevered and look where I am today

Tallulah : WHAT

Ok that's it for now I will continue later LMAOO

#casually projects my own religious trauma onto this au #its funny cause amidst writing this im literally on my way to church #tntduo #this is all brain vomit gyus idk what im cooking #rambleism

[md-confessions]

Heart anon here! Since my last confession got a bit of traction, I thought I'd some other stuff that really bugs me within the fandom.

Starting strong, the hostility, or toxicity as some may say. Other bigger fandoms are somehow less hostile than this one and it really shows. I know you guys are probably picturing a toxic NV shipper or something similar to that, and while it is a pretty big problem, what I'm referring to right now are other things that are often ignored. I've seen people calling what are practically strangers to them stupid over not liking NUzi or not liking certain characters. And that's kinda… not good, y'know? You can't cherry pick who you're gonna be telling off for being toxic. There was also the whole thing with Dollzi and Nova being called incest due to headcanons— I'm not forgetting that, by the way.

Secondly, the misuse of terms like trauma bonding, gaslighting, delusional, etc. I know it's a problem with fandom culture more than anything but I've seen people use delusional as an insult on this blog twice at the very least which… yikes. I already discussed trauma bonding but other terms similar to that get thrown around a lot and that's not good!! For example, it's not unusual to see people say things about intrusive thoughts and completely get the definition of intrusive thoughts wrong— intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts, which are usually disturbing and morally repulsive to the person who experiences them.

—🫀

i'm adding my two cents yet again (as someone who has intrusive thoughts):

intrusive thoughts, as said in the confession, are unwanted thoughts that often cause distress or unease (or both). they're often experienced by people with ocd, hypersexuality and other disorders, but anyone can experience them. it is important to note that intrusive thoughts can be about anything (and i truly mean ANYTHING), the point about them is that they're intrusive. intrusive thoughts are not what the person who has them believes in, if i couldn't make that anymore clear.

i would really appreciate it if you guys didn't just throw the term around, it took me a few years to even know what they actually meant due to the misuse of the term and those years were miserable for me. i think we should prevent that from ever happening to anyone else.

#md confessions #murder drones #serial designation n #serial designation v #uzi doorman #md doll #nori doorman #md yeva #incest cw #//;for the mention of incest. #n/v #n/uzi #uzi/doll #nori/yeva #screenie barks #not queued #//;i think this is important enough to skip the queue.

[da-proti-toku-grem]

This little fic was heavily inspired by the wonderful moodboard that @thegengarprincess shared with me and the little story attached to it so, thank you very much for sharing it with me and I hope you like this 🥰

sweet knowing that i love you, and running my fingers through your hair (read on AO3)

Allowing themselves to buy so many sweets for their movie date wasn't that good of an idea to begin with.

The fact that they practically managed to finish all of them before the ads were over and the movie started probably made it even worse – no one really wanted to be sitting near two puppies high on sugar during a movie if we're being honest.

After all, they managed to behave fairly well – if you don't count all the times Bojan let out a high-pitched squeal and cuddled up to Jure every time there was a jumpscare in the movie, resulting in a far too loud chuckle from the drummer and several exasperated sighs from those seated near them – and they made it to the end of the movie without being kicked out.

Jure found himself being pulled by the hand by Bojan, who was running excitedly towards the arcade right next to the movie theater.

“Jure, look, there's a golden retriever plushie!” Bojan exclaimed when they reached one of the claw machines, a big smile spreading across his face.

“Do you want me to get it for you?” Jure immediately offered, smiling back at him.

“Would you?” the brunet asked. As if Jure could ever say no to those adorable puppy eyes.

“Of course, baby.”

After a few attempts, the blond was able to catch the stuffed animal, dropping it in the corresponding place. As soon as he bent down to pick it up, Bojan quickly jumped on his back, almost causing them both to fall to the ground as he let out a sound that could only be described as pure joy, planting a loud kiss on the older guy's cheek.

“Thank you, muca,” beamed Bojan when he was once again face to face with Jure.

“You're welcome,” he said, booping his nose with the plushie, making him giggle. “Do you wanna try any other game or do you wanna go home now?”

“No!” he pouted, “I want to get the alpaca for you now.”

Could this man be any more adorable?

“You don’t have to, Bojč,” Jure tried to convince him, but was immediately cut off by the singer.

“But I want to! Can't I be a good fiancé and get my soon-to-be husband an alpaca plush because I love him very much?” His attempt to sound angry failed miserably as he was hugging the stuffed puppy close to his chest and several strands of soft hair were falling over his eyes. Cute.

“Okay, okay,” he chuckled, raising his hands in surrender and immediately bringing one of them up to the brunet's hair, tucking that unruly lock behind his ear and cupping his cheek, not missing the way he leaned into the touch before adding, “we still have a few more coins left so…”

“Yay!” Bojan whooped, turning back to the machine and inserting a coin.

The first attempts were not very successful, but with a lot of dedication and the drummer's moral support, Bojan seemed to be getting closer to his goal.

“Dammit, I almost got it this time,” he groaned.

“We only have one coin left, Bojči.”

“Really? Well, this has to be the good one then.”

He inserted the coin, moving the control and making sure the claw was positioned just above the alpaca before pressing the button. They both watched intently as the claw came down, grabbed the alpaca's head and picked it up, slowly making its way back to where it came from, just above the hole.

Just when it looked like they had it, however, the stuffed animal's paws collided with the plastic surrounding it, causing the claw to release it and fall back down along with the others.

“Seriously?” Bojan said, in his voice a mixture of anger and disappointment.

“Hey, it's fine,” the blond said softly, resting a hand on his lower back.

“But... I wanted to get it for you,” he pouted, not quite meeting his boyfriend's gaze.

“Don't worry about it, okay?” Jure's fingers went to his chin, lifting it until brown eyes met blue ones. “We already have a lot of them with the ones the fans give us at concerts, anyways. I think one day we'll have enough alpacas to make an army,” he added, eliciting a small chuckle and a mumbled ‘yeah’ from Bojan.

At that moment, Jure remembered something.

“Wait, I think I know something that will cheer you up.”

“Do you have another coin?” The younger asked, hopeful.

“No, but I think it's better.”

“What is it then?”

The way he tilted his head curiously had no right to be so adorable. Just like a puppy.

“Just... Wait here for a minute,” he smiled.

“But-” Jure shut him up with a short kiss.

“Just a minute, I promise.”

“Okay...”

Just as promised, Jure was back a little over a minute later, a pleased smile on his face and holding a balloon in one hand. It was one of those transparent balloons with little colored lights and Bojan couldn't help the way his face lit up the moment he saw it.

And there it was, that beautiful, bright smile that reached up to his eyes, the ones that shone almost as bright as the stars that painted the night sky.

Bojan ran towards him, pulling him into a crushing hug. “You like it?”

“I love it! Thank you so much, Jurček.”

With a last kiss on the younger's forehead, they left the arcade, Bojan with the puppy plush under his arm and holding the balloon with the other, giggling happily when Jure placed an arm around him as they walked in the direction of their car.

“Oh wait, I forgot something,” Jure said, stopping in his tracks in the middle of the empty sidewalk.

“What is it?” Bojan began to speak, only to be interrupted when the older man turned him around until they were face to face and tried to give him a kiss.

The kiss never came, though, as they both felt the stuffed animal being squeezed between their bodies, the unexpected – and quite squishy – barrier separating them causing them to burst into laughter.

Slowly, the singer removed the arm holding the plush animal from between their bodies. Jure took it as an opportunity to take his other hand in his own gently.

“Careful! You're gonna make the balloon fly away!”

“Oh, is the balloon more important than your future husband?” The blond responded, bringing a hand to his chest in mocked offense.

“Uhmm…” Bojan pretended to think about it for a few seconds. “Yeah.”

Jure gasped. “I see how it is,” he said, making them laugh loudly once again.

“Well, want me to hold this for you?” he offered then.

Bojan nodded but, as he was about to hand him the balloon, the drummer quickly dodged it, holding his waist instead and pulling him closer until he was pressed flush against his chest.

“Smooth,” Bojan whispered, breath ghosting against the other's lips before closing the distance in a long, tender kiss.

~~~~

The drive back home was quick and, not too long after, they both walked through the door of their shared apartment.

After leaving their stuff in the living room, changing out of the clothes they were wearing into their pajamas and brushing their teeth, Jure put his phone charging and lay on his back on the bed, waiting for Bojan to come out of the bathroom.

As soon as he did, the singer threw himself on the bed, lying on top of the blond and wrapping his arms tightly around him. “Now you're trapped.”

“You know I can easily pick you up and throw you out of my way, right?”

“Yeah, but you won't.”

“Oh, and why's that?”

“Because you love me,” Bojan replied, smugly.

Jure couldn't help but chuckle. “Yeah, I do.”

Just when Jure was starting to feel his eyelids grow heavy, Bojan cursed under his breath. “Oh sranje, wait.” And, before the older could ask what was wrong, Bojan quickly got up and rushed out of the bedroom. A few seconds later, he appeared at the door again, holding a familiar golden retriever plushie in his arms.

“Almost forgot about my fiancé’s latest gift.“

The drummer smiled up at him, opening his arms in a silent offer Bojan would never dare to refuse, climbing back into his embrace.

“Now I have two cute puppies to cuddle with, isn't that awesome?” he said, making the younger giggle.

“I love you so much, kitty,” Bojan said softly, as if it were a secret only they were meant to know, tipping his neck back a little until he left a sweet kiss on his lover's lips.

“I love you too, baby.”

Jure brought his hand up, caressing his soft brown hair as the singer nuzzled up against his neck.

“I can’t wait ‘till I finally get to call you my husband.”

“Me neither,” he said, leaving a gentle kiss on the top of his head before they both drifted off to sleep.

#title from Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex #i intended this to be a very short thing at first so that's why the action moves really fast in the beginning #but then i got a bit carried away and it turned out way longer than i thought it would #so i hope it's not too weird to read or smth idk #joker out #bojan cvjetićanin #jure maček #bojure #mine #maca writes

[ohhgingersnaps]

YOU AND ME SHAKING HANDS, NO ONE IN THE MOUNTAIN FAMILY IS NEUROTYPICAL!!!!! They are blended and patchwork and trying their best!!!!

you 🤝 me mountain family takes

They really are trying their best!! And I'm very sorry it's taken me so long to reply and also that the reply is so long!! i just have. a lot of feelings and my hand slipped and this got very long? please feel free to offer concurring/opposing thoughts about this if you feel so inclined, i'm rotating them in my head constantly

like, Demetrius works very much in the framework of Technical Definitions (see: the great tomato debate). he likes rules. he likes well-defined roles. (speculating a bit here but I also think he likes well-defined roles in social situations, because it makes it easier if he knows what behavior is expected of him?) and so when he marries Robin, he sees the family unit as very simple (himself, Robin, Sebastian) and immediately in his mind becomes A Step-Father, with all of the responsibilities that role entails. meanwhile, Sebastian still sees his family unit as himself + Robin, and Demetrius is just.... some guy who married his mom.

this leaves Demetrius in the position of thinking that he has a Moral Obligation as a parent to Guide My Child Down A Good Path and Offer Guidance (read: unsolicited opinions and clumsily-veiled admonitions that, although well-intentioned, toe the line of healthy boundaries and appropriateness; he does this with Maru, too, in the two-heart event). Sebastian understandably doesn't take super well to this, because Demetrius hasn't actually built a parent-child relationship with him, he's just presumed it, and Sebastian hates that, actually. Sebastian is his own person, and his independence is important to him; he doesn't need guidance, he needs support.

and like, Demetrius' idea of a "Good Path" is very rigid and doesn't leave much room for variation? e.g. Demetrius would cope very badly with being a freelancer, because his brain needs routine and structure. so he needles Seb about getting a "real career" even though freelancing is a real career and works really well with Sebastian's needs (freedom and flexible scheduling)-- because he would be miserable freelancing, he can't see how it's an ideal situation for someone else.

also like. while he does favor Maru, I fully maintain that the snowman vs. snowgoon thing is less about Maru and Sebastian specifically and more about "correct" vs "incorrect" behavior. "why would you make something upsetting/scary instead of something good and nice?" it's very black-and-white thinking. I feel like Maru has a more similar communication style to her dad (likes rules and frameworks, friendly and well-intentioned but sometimes overly blunt, and occasionally a bit open-mouth-insert-foot without meaning to be), and she's much better at staying within the parameters of Demetrius-Approved Behavior. this, stacked on top of Seb's social anxiety, absolutely leaves him feeling like he's Handled The Social Interaction Wrong whenever he interacts with her and contributes to his feeling that she dislikes him and that he doesn't fit in with his own family, even if his family doesn't actually feel that way. (eta: this also leads to him getting offended or hurt by comments that she simply does not think twice about, because he constantly overanalyzes social situations and she doesn't)

anyway this is all very disjointed but i have so many feelings and thank you for your good mountain family takes they give me life

#tbh part of the reason i take them so personally is like. they're like my own family if we had worse communication lmao #truly i appreciate your takes on them so much i'm sorry this turned into such an essay lol #sdv #demetrius sdv #sebastian sdv #mountain family #asks #stardew valley

[cutiemarkofcain]

Rick and Morty spoilers. Under cut for length and negativity. This was eating at me.

I hated That's Amorte so much. It literally makes me angry. I was so excited for it. They were hyping it up. It was written by the same person who wrote Final Desmithation- a really entertaining episode! Morty was going to be in it a lot! It was compared to Pickle Rick and Vat of Acid! And then... we got this mediocre thing.

I have seen Pickle Rick and Vat of Acid, and you sir, are no Pickle Rick or Vat of Acid. And I'm even kinda meh about those episodes, but at least they showed the complexity of Rick's character!

Okay, characterization. Rick was reduced to the toxic dudebro fan ideal of him: asshole who gets away with being an asshole because he's always right. Morty- poor Morty! Finally gets an episode this season and he spent the whole time being pushed around and shat on by other characters and the narrative. Don't get me started on the rest of the family. They were fucking demons- I felt like I was watching an episode of Family Guy, just swap Morty for Meg. (Disclaimer, I haven't watched Family Guy in years, but I remember it being really mean-spirited for a while, I don't know if that's still the case, but yeah that's what I'm referencing.)

As for the theme... I just really dislike moral dilemmas that are totally bizarre and never apply to the real world. Just strikes me as pseudo-intellectual. And what is this episode trying to make a point about? Assisted suicide? The meat industry? Capitalism? Pick a fucking lane.

The story was the worst part. We've seen Morty try to do the right thing, only to make things worse, so Rick has to fix everything (Mortynight Run, Rattlestar Ricklactica, etc), so nothing new there. And it's fine that that's not new, because at this point it's happened enough that it's a trend, but That's Amorte does nothing new with it. The scene where Morty was letting his family have it was reminiscent of a similar scene from A Rickconvenient Mort, except it had emotional weight there. Here, the family's dismissal of Morty is treated like a joke. The suicide angle worked so much better in Analyze Piss because the subject was treated with the gravity it deserved, whereas here it was an element in a stupid thought experiment. And that scene showing the random dude's life? I was so pissed I refused to watch. It was like they realized what an emotionless husk the episode had been so far, so they tried to tug at the heartstrings in the laziest, easiest way possible, with some poignant scenes and sad music. That shit worked in Vat of Acid because it was about Morty and we care about Morty. I can tell when I'm being emotionally manipulated.

All in all, it felt like they took a bunch of superior episodes, had no understanding of what made them good, and threw them into the blender dimension along with a bunch of spaghetti. It felt like it was written by AI.

I can say, with confidence, that it was my least favorite episode. There was nothing I enjoyed about it. Less than Rickdependence Spray? Hell yeah, that episode was dumb but funny. Less than Raising Gazorpazorp? ...Okay, that one had no redeeming qualities either, but I didn't get hyped for it, so it wasn't a disappointment. Less than the last two episodes of season 6, which I refuse to remember the names of? Yes. Even though the last one bored me, at least Rick was nuanced and interesting there. As for the penultimate one... welllll, I mostly felt betrayed about that episode lying to us, so I feel I can't properly judge its quality. So that one doesn't get a score.

This episode offended me as a fan of Rick, as a fan of Morty, as a fan of the show, and as a writer.

Rick and Morty forever, huh? If it's just going to be an eternity of Rick being an insufferable smug jerk, Morty being abused, and both of them being miserable and hateful to each other, I don't even want another day of them. I guess this is the "Too Bleak, Stopped Caring" trope in play.

The only thing that makes me feel slightly more at ease is pretending like this episode didn't follow the main family. And that's why everyone felt like they were from season 1 and hadn't gone through any character development. (The mind eraser device looked different, by the way.) But that only solves the characterization issue, not the rest of it. Edit- realized that couldn't be the case because of how Summer says "parmesan".

Okay, I think that's everything I wanted to say. I hope that's everything, because I don't want to talk or even think about this episode anymore.

#bitch bitch #rage rage #long rant #seriously look away i am not nice here at all #and i apologize for nothing #except maybe for switching tenses throughout the rant

[teekays]

Davo for the character ask thing please!

this one took me so long because i have THINGS to SAY. i have cried in an airport over connor mcdavid. lets begin

First impression

i will be so real when i first got into hockey i totally fell for the like... this guy is the BEST agenda. mostly because i think i noticed that the praise he got was SO strong and i wanted to know what made him so good as opposed to other guys but i also noticed he got a lot of hate for being boring and i was like... they're all boring. why do we hate him for being boring specifically? and that led me on a quest to tease out The Connor Mcdavid Story

Impression now

i'm a mcdefender sorry. i know!! he's the most interesting guy in the world actually. like he IS boring but that is so clearly a purposeful obfuscation of whatever else he's got going on there that he developed because of course you're not going to just have your heart out there in the open as a first overall who's been hyped up for years as the Next One placed on a flop team in a flop city... it's also interesting to have seen that kind of relax a little bit in recent years and i think that relaxing is directly parallel to him becoming a little less like. black and white in his thinking which he very much was for a long time. like he's someone with a very strong sense of right and wrong and very strong ideas about How Things Should Be Done and as that has loosened up (because that's not conducive to like, being alive yknow) and as he's gotten more secure in his position he's gotten a little more willing to put himself out there which is fun. the morals thing does come out sometimes tho in that he will speak up if he feels like he needs to in the name of fairness. also i find his like, earnestness and the ways he's different than the nepo babies of the hockey world to be deeply charming even when they suck. like he's a shill grinding for his money but he's honest about it and i have to respect it. make your terrible millions and have a zero tolerance policy for being irreverent and Too Cool for the media while doing it. go white boy go

Favorite moment

sitting on mitch's lap in the everglades was a foundational babygirlism but also. right after the draft i don't remember who it was but little baby connor freshly in that oilers jersey was like "why are you ripping him to shreds rn he literally just got drafted" it makes my heart break into a million pieces i feel like when spongebob lost gary. because that's sooo... it's not him anymore really. but it will always be him and who he was.

Idea for a story

my sick and twisted mind has been percolating Mccareer ending injury for so long because i would like to see him freed from the shackles of hockey and having to build a life outside of what that means to him. who is connor mcdavid? find out next week when he escapes to a beach for a week and hates it

Unpopular opinion

say it with me now. estrogen could fix him! but also once again i think he is much less miserable than people want to think and if he is then it's justified. he lives in edmonton. you'd be sad too. also i covered this but he's actually a little freak and not boring at all if you know how to look at him!!!

Favorite relationship

i'm a mcstrome warrior til i die hashtag Your dead best friend is walking up the stairs hashtag I ain't a kid no more we'll never be those kids again. that being said i think also him and leon should get married. and another thing this may be also an unpopular opinion BUT i am actually so obsessed w ambitious girlboss lauren kyle and the way she so clearly runs their whole lives and he's so deeply okay with that... i think a common hockey boy trait is kind of always wanting to be told what to do because that's what you've done your whole life but to see someone quietly own it that way is so fun to me. i think she should lean into it and be like the tweet that's like "if two guys were in love with me i would manipulate them into doing gay shit together"/"if i had two boyfriends i'd dress them up like twins" with connor and leon and like leon is there for connor's benefit but she makes him think it's her idea so as not to upset the delicate balance. yknow?

Favorite headcanon

this is also from what we've seen mostly based in fact but he's absolutely dogshit at other sports. like. some guys are athletes and other guys are hockey players and he is absolutely a hockey player to his core. hilarious

#i could have made this even longer like you can't even begin to understand the amount of things i could say abt him #asks

[gaygayaurel]

As game Lambert #1 fan 5ever the Nerflix Lambert sucks but not bcs of what people think? (I didnt read book of elves I love and respect myself sometimes )

As in game Lambert is kinda fun in that he got actually defined compared to Novels and Hexer where he did not exist ad character proper. He is deeply mean and sarcasric person, being willing to chew out his closest friends and enemies alike. He isnt as morally concerned abt stuff as geralt and when someone asks him to kill a monster he'd do it. Fuck he'd even go as far as use Axii to make two bandits die in horrific way. This is after all his lot in his shitty miserable life. He hates witchery and witchers and the very concept of this much suffering ("But you kept the table" he says furious to Vesemir as they stand above screaming Uma). His attitude is just such a complete 360° from Geralt' silent acceptance of what was done to them. It truly becomes the only voice of like hey fuck what happened to us, fuck it all to hell. Hes an utter fucking dickhead and hell provoke people for no reason (talkinf abt geralt and triss in front of phillipa for no reason) (i deadass dont think he would fuck up yens stuff on purpose tho #;#&#&)

His main core personal element is revenge. In his short appearence in w1 he proclaims desire to slaughter salamandra for killing Leo. In W3 he goes on massive revenge rampage spanning CONTINENTS for a guy we dont know (and thats pretty cool to me, implying he has adventures outside geralt, both him and eskel). He says his first action after he left Kaer Morhen was to find and kill his dad ( and him being sad he couldnt save his mother his life is all just empty revenges that will never fill the holes of people hell miss).

But also main Core element of Lambert is also love as cheesy as it sounds. He cared deeply for Leo and Aiden and even his own mom. After Triss. Got conked out by a mage guy in witcher 1 he cared for her and watched over her (they were hardcore inplying shipping which is funnt but whatever). He literally puts his life on line dor Ciri and Geralt. The thing is he is dickhead but he will do Everythinf for those few peoples he has left in his life.

The Point is games being games and larger allowed Lambert to have depth and nuance. He is imo one of the most interesting and coolest game characters. Netflix Lambert however did not have the time for variety of reasons to get that.

One is Lambert is very minor person in books. Second is that the show didnt...realy care abt witchers past vesemir maybe. So he wasnt a focus. In the end what we get is disappoitninf character not helped by the fact most witchers in netflix are cannon fodders for baba yaga.

ONE issue that I have is people saying Lambert was a dick to Ciri and thats OOC. While I cant speak from the POV of books (altho my friend who did read them say he is sexist), from POV of game thats untrue. In fact I believe game Lambert would VERY much be a fucking dick to Ciri fron a start. It doesnt even need to have sexist colouring to it. This dude HATES witchering. He hates the mutagenesis and the pain of it all, the destiny in it. I firmly believe he wouldnt be OK with a bew trainee and guess what? While he didnt live through instructors not giving fucks abt new witchers because like 1/20 live to become witchers he LIVED through it. On his skin. I firmly believe Lambert being DICKHEAD to ciri at first is nit only a whiff of the complex game!Lambert but a decent start of its own standalone character.

In witcher 1 also wheb tou tell him Leo died he laments he "was not ready". Leo. Just like ciri never got his mutagens (take this with grain of salt because leos whole character is weird tm). So him being an miserable instructor who will push you until you cry is in character ingame. This guys has ten layers of issue.

What Netflix misses is the fact we dont SEE lambert getting to his relationship Ciri where we see rhem albeit briefly in game (willing to fight to death for her). We just have this awkward jump from utter hostility to them beinf kinda pals after baba yaga fight. In the end netflix lambert is just. Boring.

Also hes not a balding fuck and i cant forgive that

#Lambert witcher #The witcher #I lov witcher 3 lambert so much hes my legit fave sbsbs #I love that I can only enjoy loyal mean gays who bullied a kid once #there was actually dickhead fellow trainee of geralt in hexer who i suspected of being like base for lambert characterization in the games #because the games were v much made in context of hexer

[loominggaia]

Anonymous asked: Worst dad poll: At least Darshan meant well. Like yeah he's kind of an idiot but he was just trying to give his family a better life. Same could be said for Sebastian and Ojio. Ekwame was just old and lazy. Can't really blame him for marrying a teenager if that's normal in his culture. No excuses for Foster and Vingvar though their genuinely bad fathers. I voted for Vingvar because at least Foster put food on the table and didn't cheat on his wife AFAIK. /my two cents

--

randomhedgehog asked: In regards to the Worst Dad Poll, I feel like Foster or Ekwame is the only real option. Sebastion and Ojio both loved/love their families alot. Knowing Sebastions background, I'm willing to give him a pass on the Hoarding. Likewise, Ohio gets a pass on the Workaholicism since he was literally raised in Workaholic City where if he wasn't, he and his family would be in deep trouble. And! He's unlearning the Trans/Homophobia that's been shoved in his ear since his conception! He definitely scores points for that! Vingevar is literally just, there ig? His wrongdoings seem pretty average compared to Foster and Ekwame. Darshaan was trying to give Isaac the life he never got! Growing up a Child Soldier probably doesn't make you a cautious adult, either. Foster is a product of his environment, but that still doesn't excuse how he treated Evan, Abigail and Sofia! Not to mention he literally owned slaves. If someone thinks of a redeeming quality that he has, I'm waiting to hear it. Ekwame literally married a teenager. And impregnated said Teenager. I know we all hate Moswen, but I feel so bad for her thinking of what happened. Speaking of Moswen- Ekwame didn't even notice she was abusing Lukas and Jelani!!!! And If he did, then that's even worse!

--

Anonymous asked: I think Ojio is a good dad actually! At least he was in that one story (can't remember the title rn sorry)

--

These are all such great and thoughtful points to consider! I'm seeing good arguments on all sides!

In regards to Ekwame, @randomhedgehog raised an interesting question: did he even know about Moswen abusing his kids? The narrative says he barely acknowledged his sons' existence, and Moswen was very good at hiding her abuse. Still, he would have to be pretty damn dense (or perhaps senile) not to notice how scared they acted around their own mother, not to mention all the injuries they must have had. Moswen insults his intelligence a lot, so I think it's likely that he genuinely didn't realize what she was doing to them. However, even if he did know, something tells me he wouldn't care that much anyway. He would view it as good old fashioned corporal punishment and nothing more.

Anon also brought up a great point about the morality of marrying a teenager when he was raised in a culture that sees no harm in that. I think if Ekwame was a smarter, more empathetic man, he would be able to see how miserable Moswen was and refuse to marry her. But we get the impression that he doesn't think very hard about anything, and doesn't really view women and children as fully-realized people. This guy's misogynistic culture was really working against him, but I think half of the problem is just his own mental laziness.

He's not exactly malicious, he's just...kind of a dumb, privileged guy who bumbles through life and doesn't care about much beyond his own comfort. For this reason, I personally side with @randomhedgehog on this. I think he a bad father, a bad husband, and a pretty crummy person in general. Not because he's mean per se, but because he's so damn selfish and apathetic. Although not as overt as Moswen's abuse, his neglect still had a profound negative effect on his family.

Now, Foster...Anon brought up a good point about him staying faithful to his wife and consistently putting food on the table. That's true! He may have been a raging jerk, but to his credit, he worked hard and he never let his family go without. Evan actually brings this up in one story. He had enough sense not to physically harm his wife or kids, even at his drunkest, so the guy must have had some kind of love for them. He even has a few heartfelt moments with Evan in "Monster by Moonlight" after Evan's health improved. So, he's not totally incapable of warmth.

Foster strikes me as a guy who was totally sabotaged by his upbringing. If his own parents weren't so dysfunctional, I feel like he'd actually be a pretty good dad. Unfortunately his family tree was riddled with problems like alcoholism, incest, and poverty among other things, and this really worked against Foster. He was not strong enough to overcome his demons, and he didn't really have access to therapy or anything to help him out. All he had to turn to was a shitty, bigoted religion that just reinforced his bad behaviors. He never stood a chance.

I'm not saying I give Foster a pass for his abuse--because I don't. He clearly knew the difference between right and wrong, and he chose to do wrong by his family. I'm just saying that between him and Ekwame, I think I would choose Ekwame as the worse father. Ekwame wasn't mean to his kids like Foster was, but only because he didn't care enough to spend even a shred of emotional energy on them. Foster was mean because he cared, he just had no idea how to express things like fear or anger properly, so it came out as verbal abuse.

As for Vingevar, yes, it was awful of him to cheat on his pregnant wife and abandon his family for some side chick. Imagine how his kids must have felt when he disappeared! On the other hand, there are two sides of every story, and Vingevar hasn't appeared in person to tell his side yet. We know how aggressive Oggsa is, and there may be a whole other facet to this situation we don't yet know about. For this reason, I will hold my judgment on Vingevar until more is revealed.

I do agree that Darshaan, Ojio, and Sebastian all meant well and did the best they could with what they had. Maybe they weren't perfect, maybe they made some mistakes, but I don't believe for a second that these men meant their kids harm at any point. I think their worst crimes were just being misguided or not thinking things through very well.

I love to hear all these takes, it really gets me thinking!

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

#ask #askliterature #askpoll

[signalhill-if]

I HAVE AN ASK that I actually thought of while working earlier so HERE GOES c:

Lets say, the world didn’t go to shit, and our beloved characters are transported into the year 2023. What are they doing? How are they holding up? Job wise, and just in general? How is what they’re doing different from canon, now that things like social media and all that ‘fun’ stuff is around, if it’s different at all?

Thank you for the question! And also thank you to the anon who asked a very similar question that I forgot to answer 🥲

Rather than just saying what they'd do if they were in the present, I'm gonna sorta Modernify their canon lives because it's fun :) Also, SPOILERS BEWARE, I'm obviously not including anything super spoilery about the plot but if you want the character's backstories revealed naturally in the game then maybe don't read because there's a bunch of new stuff here!

Doc's trajectory in life is a lot different, in a world where he can actually get a proper education. His dad was a veterinarian for a horse racing place, and he didn't exactly have the most wealthy upbringing, but he was comfortable and learned a lot about horses. His dream was always to attend medical school, but money was tight- until he started dating Yvette in his first year of university, who helped him get into dealing drugs. After getting his MD, he started working at a not-for-profit local clinic, and oversees their needle exchange program. He still owns a sniper rifle in our universe, but he doesn't use it (usually)

Yasmin is the daughter of a prominent media mogul who was recently assassinated, putting her even more in the public eye than she already was. She had a wealthy but miserable youth, one of those rich kids who was privately tutored and never really had friends, y'know? At a young age, her mother died, and she's been in a spiral ever since. She had a brief but stormy relationship with KC in college. Since then, Yasmin's become a minor social media star, posting moody selfies and doing a lot of drugs with her influencer friends- specifically, Yvette.

KC grew up poor with a struggling single father and took the idea of "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" seriously. She worked throughout high school to get into a good college for business management, with a mix of money saved up from part time work and scholarships. She excelled at soccer in high school and wound up playing for her college's varsity team. Through a mutual "friend" she met Yasmin, and the two of them dated until KC got a job at Yasmin's dad's company and realized how terribly it treated its employees. She got heavily involved in the (successful) effort to organize a union at the company, and since then has been involved in helping other baby unions with their organizing efforts.

Yvette found it hard to stay in the closet from a pretty young age, and growing up in a place where that was frowned upon, he learned to be resilient and self-sufficient. As an adult, he moved to the big city and befriended a wealthy drug dealer while working as an escort. Through some questionably moral events, he wound up in charge of this operation with the other guy... out of the picture. From there, it all happened so fast- buying the club (which he named the Rose and Thorn), the fancy car, the nice condo. Living the dream. But he has his sights set even higher ever since he befriended Yasmin, the heiress to a multimedia throne.

Levi had a sheltered youth, attending private Catholic schools in Quebec alongside his childhood best friend Maxime. He excelled in his studies, but Maxime was always a step ahead of him, especially in the area of religion. Despite being an attentive student, Levi struggled with anger issues and was a target for bullying throughout his youth. When the two were seniors in high school and Levi's long-time bully disappeared under mysterious circumstances, they decided to move away and start a new life together in the big city. Here, Maxime's (or now, Aldrich's) spiritual ideas flourished, getting the attention of people on social media. But being labelled as a cult leader is barely better than their youth.

#ask #whump-it-like-its-hot #all mcs #lore bits

[mon-chert]

OKAY WELL NOW YOU HAVE TO TELL US ABOUT THE ENTITY !!!!! im interested GO

*heavy breathing*

[genloss au spoilers ahead]

so basically its a timeless conscious partially omniscient mass of dark matter most closely aligned to some sort of parasite or blood virus that rooted inside ranboo's heart and converted them into its host to be able to exist in the lower dimensions for the purpose of doing some silly quirky thing called cannibalism to gather enough energy in order to do this other silly quirky thing called Becoming God and then ended up making one tiny mistake and tipping over one tiny domino that ended up with the universe it was in being destroyed and all of existence being basically ripped in half by a certain someone that Wasnt Too Pleased with its actions and it got the turntables flipped the fuck around and ended up traumatized as fuck by that certain someone's revenge arc and it actually becomes an incredible characterization of those two symbolized by a yin yang which each spilt over into the other side until they became the opposite and so on and so forth but anyway themes of duality and there is no true good or evil and the tragedy of a fate which was doomed from the beginning and all that aside most importantly its baby and a bitch and my little meow meow and an utter bastard and a pathetic wet cat and incomprehensibly horrifying and it did nothing wrong and it has committed the worst atrocities known to mankind and its the only guy ever and the most morally reprehensible motherfucker in existence and i am holding it So Gently and giving it little pets and hot chocolate and a blanket and i am crushing it in my fist with Vehement Rage and imprisoning it to a miserable little existence in my coffee cup and i hate love it SOOO much <3

visual representation of my deteriorating mental state about this little blorbo motherfucker if the essay above wasnt enough thanks for reading

#im normal im normal im normal im normal #im SOOO normal #teehee *kicks my legs twirls my hair* #tbh the entity is the best encapsulation of my entire gender identity so. i have that going for me #genloss au #the entity #ask #👁

[treesap-blogs]

HI GUYS IM POSTING ON SUNDAY INSTEAD OF SATURDAY!! Sorry. Back with a review of “The Sunbearer Trials” by Aiden Thomas

Hello, Tumblrians! It’s been a while since I’ve made a review, I’m sorry about that. Alas, only two weeks after school, my mom took me down to the South to go visit some family 😔it was lowkey miserable! 2/10 don’t recommend I got gaslit so many times lmao

SORRY FOR NOT POSTING ON SATURDAY😭I was very busy! I’m gonna try to stop making self-imposed deadlines, because a) I literally never follow through with them so they read like empty promises, b) I get last-minute anxiety paralysis and never upload.

Anyways! Here’s a review of a queer book, because they probably would’ve been restricted in the state I was in. Maybe not banned per say, but definitely not accepted with open arms. The only open arms we’re getting in South Carolina are guns, and dear old Uncle Dave pretending he’s asking me for a hug and not forcing me to do it out of moral/familial obligation. Sorry.

Not really any Book Discovery Backstory for this one, except for that I wanted to get around to reading every single Aiden Thomas book. And this was originally meant to be for the Trans Rights Readathon, but I got tired and gave up! Oops.

The Sunbearer Trials is the book in question! For once, its advertising is pretty accurate: Think The Hunger Games’ nail-biting (and televised) battle royale, mixed with the demigod folklore and plot aspects of Percy Jackson (but make it gods of Mexican instead of Greek/Roman mythology)! Teo, a Semidiós transgender teen(son of Quetzal, the god of birds), because of his Jade status, doesn’t expect to be chosen as a competitor in The Sunbearer Trials: a group of deathly games played by Semidiós teens, where the lowest-ranking has the “greatest honor” of all—be sacrificed in order to fuel the Sun’s power and keep the Obsidian evil gods at bay. However, that doesn’t mean Teo’s worried about others: his friend Niya, the higher-ranking Gold daughter of Tierra, is one of the strongest heroes of their generation and dangerously likely to be chosen. So he’s in for a nasty surprise when two Jades get selected for the games this year, one being Xio, the thirteen year-old son of Mala Suerte, and Teo. Now the two of them must compete in five mysterious trials, against far more powerful opponents, for glory, pride and their own survival.

For a book with that intense of a summary, I wasn’t expecting for it to be as humorous and fun as it was? But I’m kinda glad for that, because hundreds of pages of just on-page child death will inevitably get emotionally taxing. So, I found this to be a very enjoyable read! I liked the descriptions of food!!(don’t read this on an empty stomach), and our character dynamics, which I was pleasantly surprised by because I usually dislike or outright hate books with large casts! Aiden Thomas definitely had his priorities straight on the characters to center though, and although we got to know a bit about everyone, it didn’t feel like there was too little or too much time spent with anyone. It didn’t feel crowded, basically.

Not to be that book account, but we also got a bit of rivals to lovers, with Aurelio and Teo! I was a little on-the-fence about it at first because, you know, tropes, but I ended up growing to like the genuine bond they developed amidst the trials. Also, Aiden Thomas just has a way with writing gay yearning I think! 

With all that said, although this book was a fun read, it felt juvenile at times. If some of the cursing or sexual humor was cut out, it could definitely pass as a middle grade. Personally, I don’t like middle grades, so this was disappointing to me especially considering how dark the summary is? Some of the lines (particularly Niya’s) were so corny or cringey I had to laugh. Add that to this being in a modern world, and I take critical damage from being reminded that memes and vine coexist with demigod death games in this book. 

Anyhow! Overall, this was an enjoyable (even if flawed) read. As you guys should know, I love culturally rich stories, and I loved the Mexican parts of the settings and story. And if you read the summary for that and thought to yourself “hey! That sounds right up my alley”, I’m not stopping you from checking it out. I’ll also be reading the sequel, because there was a hell of a cliffhanger.

Book rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️½ stars/5. Finished 04/05/2023.

(Book content/trigger warnings: fire/fire injury, child death(on-page), violence+blood, bullying, gender dysphoria.)

-Paz, signing off!

[yellowocaballero]

🌟

Mens Rea!

But Steven could only shake his head. His breath was coming hard and fast, and it wasn’t only from exertion. “I’m not your mystery, She-Hulk. This isn’t - this isn’t your Law & Order or - whatever you’re always talking about. Shut up about your stupid case!”

“This isn’t about the case anymore!” Jen cried, exasperated. “This is about you - or maybe it was always about you, I don’t know. You weren’t honest with us, and now you’re flipping out in a superhero costume. Don’t you see why that’s a problem?”

“Get over yourself!” Steven yelled, and Jen jerked back. “I’m sorry I ruined your villain fantasy! I’m sorry that we’re not the bad guy here, that - that we’re just scared!” Steven’s breath was coming hard and fast, and he realized too late that it was from anger instead of fear. “You don’t know what it’s like! Waking up in random places all the time, losing hours or days or weeks! You’ve never had to hide this because everybody would treat you like a serial killer if you didn’t! You’ve never had to degrade yourself just to eat! Is that what you wanted to hear? Is that what you wanted to understand? You can’t!”

Privilege was a huge thing in this story.

I'm not certain how many people use comic books & law procedurals in order to talk about privilege and ableism but I guess I'm one of them. I absolutely love having different characters walk into the same story from two different genres, and the conflict it inevitably creates.

There's two levels to this:

The more literal one. As Steven so hysterically points out, the bad guy in the lives of people in Jen's life are the ones suffering most in Steven's. Marc's life has been constantly destabilized by his amnesia and blackouts. DID is insanely stigmatized, and he's lived a lot of his life in fear of other people finding out that he was 'crazy'. Due to the military thing Jake helpfully lays out for us, Marc was railroaded into spending his life acting against his ethics and wishes and doing things he views as morally degrading. It results directly in the Khonshu thing, and we see through Jake that the dehumanization of serving as Khonshu's weapon & the way it robs him of agency is shameful to him. Humiliating might be a strong word, but Jake's crude jokes about sucking dick hit Marc hard for a reason. And, even more importantly, there's basically the conversation that the Social Justice Defenders have in Good Luck Jake!. I won't repeat it here, they outline it and I can give you the articles where I got those numbers. Bonus add in Jake's breakdown of the VA disability benefits. Shulk spends time talking about justice here, but maybe at the very end of both stories is my actual answer on justice: how can we condemn people when life is so fucking unfair? The system is the villain of the Avenger's story, but the Defenders say it: did Jake/Marc ever really have a chance?

Shulk's living Law & Order, and people like Marc are the bad guys in Law & Order. They're the bad guys in Criminal Minds and they're the bad guys in uh literally pick any police procedural. Shulk's living comic book, like ten times during the story I turn to the audience and say "hey this is a comic book!", and people like Marc are the bad guys in comic books too when they are not Moon Knight and still incredibly off his rocker. Marc's living comic book too, on some level Marc really wants to be a superhero, and as a result he's finding himself sucked into this whirlpool of bad guy. Steven's living secret identity and he is miserable. They're trying to live something not real and it's making 'em miserable. Jake's living Buffalo Bill because fuck you DAD. I don't spend as much time on this bc of lane reasons, but Jake is also living Narco/Telenovela villain/immigrant working class & manipulating their assumed position at the bottom of the social class. Point 1 + Point 2 = A She Hulk who has the privilege and luck to be the hero of every hegemonic story (or, crucially, who can pretend), and a Marc who is systematically ostracized and excluded due to an inability to perform functionally and unobtrusively in society.

All of this equals the moral, which is that Maybe They're All Just Guys and maybe we shouldn't attempt to fit into oppressive hegemonic ideals that are constructed in order to maintain an underclass. This isn't fiction, this is real life and people are complicated in real life. Real life has a military industrial complex.

But it's not a comic book. This was never a comic book. This is a fanfic. It's not even real life. This is a fanfic.

#my writing #FUCKED if true