#and that's not a hard and fast breakdown

[polaraffect]

having a real normal one tonight boys

#damien.txt #SDJFGHSKDFGJSHD SEND HELP IM HAVINGA BREAKDOWN I THINK #I CANT STOP LISTENNING TO THIS SONGF SDFJOHGOIEHRE #truly the amount that i am stimming to this song. with this song. FROM THE FUCKING TROLLS 3 SOUNDTRACK #i have not. even. seen. trolls 3. #you gotta work hard! to make it look easy! you gotta live fast! to keep makin that money! #if! you! want! to! be! as! famous as me!!!!!!!! #going insane in this chili's tonight AHHHH

[milkpansa-archive]

PORSCHE PACHARA I Kinnporsche Ep 5

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #kinnporche the series #porsche pachara #apo nattawin #zzarchive #i normally tag darlings but im going to think out loud a bit so ill spare you <3 if you do happen to see and read this. im so sorry sahjksdh #do ignore really. its late and idk what im saying anyway. maybe i;ll properly talk about this someday but this is just real fast real simple #so i dont forget #okay so. anyways. this took me so long. was very hard and weirdly confronting and cianshine if you happen to see this. i got through it!!!! #also had like three breakdowns but were ignoring that #anyways. onto the episode #when i first saw this ep it was so ridiculously confronting and jarring and i didnt know what to do with it all tbh. but making this set #really forced me to properly look at him so now i have even more thoughts #and the thing with this episode is #it is obviously very different from the first couple of eps and there is this clear shift in tone that is so deliberately put there #and its like this punch in the gut. this wake up call #and throughout this episode he just appears to be so so lost #he doesnt know what to do with these feelings. doesnt know what to properly make of them and you see it in literally everything he does #he is so obviously affected by it all but refuses to let it show because what good will it do #but then he also gets punished and then its not just him being lost #there is this clear sense of anger and betrayal #whats interesting about traumatic situations-idk what to call it so were going with that-is that its usually not just the actual situation #that fucks with you. it is the aftermath of it all that plays such a pivotal part in how you come out of it #and tbh i feel like that is vey much the case for porsche #because yes he is so confused about the whole situation. but then everything afterwards just leaves him with this clear sense of betrayal #and anger. and so he acts on those feelings. feelings he knows #but it just backfires and all he is left with is more hurt #but the second time theyre on his home ground and there is such a shift in power that was so necessary for this to work. but then they get #interrupted by dumbass men who go: boo time to die so that's the end of this i guess

[dadbots]

August… time to get spooky.

#dadbots.txt #this has been in my draft for... almost a month. Yikes. #I’ve been dissociating hella hard these past months or something. swear I don’t remember time moving this fast. maybe it’s just me tbh. #idk what to say about July other than… boring? not much happened and I don’t really remember it if I’m honest. just. mm. shrugs. #best way to describe it LOL #been sleeping a LOT lately and I think it’s fatigue again. was it like anything before? no. not at that rate (yet) but just. #where you wanna sleep and sleep and sleep type of fatigue. you never feel rested and just gotta sleep it off kinda. #just one of those moments yknow. #it sucks. all I’m doing is letting the days pass me by and ‘missing out’ on living life when I could be enjoying it. but I lost interest - #- in doing so for months - years now due to personal health matters. And whaddya know - it came back again. after months of healing. #I'm pretty pissed as it does feel like a slap in the face. but you win some - you lose some. Gonna try and fight through it. #I wrote something at the beginning of august but that got deleted. Had a breakdown and thought huh. what a great way to start the month - #and now it's almost september. Just like that. What a month it's been. Stuck on what else to say but that really. #don't want to keep talking about depressing stuff as that's what i used to do and realized hey. maybe you should stop doing that so often #and not use it so casually in humor and/or stuff. Even though I reblog vents here n' all. but yknow. #maybe it is hypocritical. but that's not the point. Just want to reflect and see if i've changed since coming back to the web after a year. #not like it's going bad. just wished this year was a bit more optimistic. Last year was rough & i'm afraid this year will be another repeat #though I did come out to a family member this month and that was like a punch to the gut. Considering my status with them and all. #won't get into that. for now let's just say i'm not too close with them. An impulsive choice on my end but hey. it went well. #and that's what matters tbh. My younger self would've thought i was actually insane. like to even DO that? really? #shocking. I'm still not over that moment. Probably one of my biggest achievements this year. #I'll update this if anything else comes to mind. none of this make sense and that's ok. clearing my mind right now. #let's see what september has in store for me. Hopefully it'll get better as things slow down w/ winter on its way. #hope y'all enjoyed your summer. 🖤🤘🏽

[sharky857]

What if Pierre was dumped into the luau soup and drowned for being a dick

But... But... Pierre is the lowest of the "bad quality food" one could ever dump in the potluck. 🙁 He would completely ruin the soup everyone worked so hard to make tasty. 😔

On the other hand... 🤔

Sam!

Sam might be perfecty capable of dunking Pierre in the soup. They may have banned him forever from dumping anything ever again in the potluck after that anchovies disaster, but nobody couldn't stop him from doing so for Abby's sake, if he ever acted fast enough ('sides, he actually gives zero 💩 about "impressing some old man everyone calls Governor").

#stardew valley #sdv #sharky's replies #anonymous #Sam be getting closer and closer to going to jail... 😂 #but is he gonna regret this one? Of course not~ #what would take him to snap like that? Methinks it could happen during one of their band's private tryout in his room #All three are there and suddenly Abigail has a breakdown and burst out in tears #which is quiet unusual for her to do so in front of others #and once Sam and Seb gets to know what happened Sam snaps real hard #and this time he vows to NOT let Pierre's toxic shenanigans go unpunished #(Seb seems to be chiller than his friend but ya bet he may offer to lend a hand. Just this once) #Abby might try to make him desist (she doesn't want anyone to get into troubles for her) but Sam won't hear any of it. #Fast forwards to the Luau and THAT happens. 😈 #*rereads rambling tags* This... This seems a good material for a potential fic.

[caffeinelemur]

ur tag about being picky ruining vacations rings so true. i remember going on a trip with my best friend and he took me to an italian restaurant (pasta is my safe food) and because i couldnt make it myself i had to sit there with his whole family eating and me with nothing and they all questioned it so fucking awkward 😭

Yeah my stepdad has this crusade against my “eating habits” that’s grown in intensity and stupidity since I was like eight. At first it was something between eating with the family/making me eat healthy/vegetables? (Was forced to eat food I didn’t like for several years + has a strong gag reflex + literally cannot eat things I don’t like, why would you do that) Or something, but then it also became fights during trips bc I just wanted my safety/favorite and he wanted to eat at some random fucking place in a different state that doesn’t serve food I eat anyway, and then I got Diagnoses™️ and he decided I made all of them up and lied to my doctor to get idk what attention and meds? and when we told him my doctor diagnosed most of that without me prompting it he was like it’s bc nutrition like bitch I don’t think my samefood gave me bipolar.

Anyway, we barely go anywhere and whenever we do I can’t even get excited bc I’m just like. We’re gonna fight about food the entire time and eventually I’ll just tell them to go do whatever they want and I’ll not eat anything for lunch and stay in the car bc I’m tired and overwhelmed and take a car nap with my noise cancelling headphones on loud music playing all I wanted was to spend like seven to eleven dollars to eat a decent amount of food and get a big ass drink but no now we’re doing this. You can still go you your fucking choice I’m not making you eat my food leave me in the car with a ridiculous fast food order a huge soda and music and fuck off to your own food adventure I’ll be dandy, but no. (My spectrum in a different flavor mother tries her best to get me fed somehow and is probably the only one between the three of us keeping me alive, and all she gets is anxiety. Sorry mom.)

Also somewhere right before high school I gained a fun new eating disorder and between that and my always reliable forgetting-to-eat I kept dipping below into underweight, so my doctor told me not to worry about healthy vs junk or anything right then just try to focus on eating something even if it’s chips or whatever. I had a timer on my phone to remind me it was like 11 or 2 or smth maybe try a snack?? I brought a snack size bag of chips for lunch every day it’s all I could figure out. And mom heard this and was like ok, nightly McDonald’s runs aren’t a battle anymore bc she knew my cardinal rule of food is no matter what I can and will eat McDonald’s. Like even at my most ill can’t look at a cracker I can and will eat that hamburger and be fine. I got back up to barely technically but still healthy weight for a little while bc of it. Eat your samefood your doctor says it’s fine if anyone says otherwise throw a nearby object at them and run this is the moral of the story I think

In college I survived off fast food someone helped me get and vending machine payday bars. Like I can’t drive and I lost half my silverware in that move when I was seven so now I’m running on like three spoons max. I’m like a scrungly raccoon with opinions. Little garbage rat only takes pizza from that one place’s trash. Alley cat that is too tired to try anymore and keeps coming to your porch bc you gave me something out of pity once.

My things with my foods is I will have I Can Have This Specific Thing From This Specific Place, or I Like This Sort Of Food Generally But I Have Extreme Opinions About It. Sometimes they overlap. Examples: I mention McDonald’s. I only ever order the same thing. Very specific. It’s a Hamburger (I won’t go into detail). I can eat other hamburgers but Generally I don’t want to and have opinions about them. If you do it Correctly at home it’s fine. Other places I don’t really like. On the other hand, I Have Extreme Pizza Opinions but I have several places I’ll eat at that qualify. It’s one of the easiest of my samefoods probably to find in a pinch, we just do research and try. I really love pizza so maybe I’m more open to figuring it out than I am w hamburgers bc I’m not like I love hamburgers it’s I love specifically McDonald’s lol. I also have a samedrink and it’s Dr. Pepper, which sadly is bad for my long term health and I’ve had fights and lectures about this for eons as well, but it’s far too late now and I don’t give a shit.

#caff answers #caff rants #sorry about my ranty soapbox #apparently i had Things To Say #yeah my fucking food adventures #and now im trapped in a fast foodless hellscape with no energy to cook just eating fucking cereal #and my only joy of going into town and getting my Food is trashed bc Boycott and i dont want to be a bad person but also. id like to eat. #why is everyone on earth including mcdonalds trying to stop me eating mcdonalds please fucking stop i will cry #The History Of Caffs Food Induced Mental Breakdown #when your samefoods are fast food and work hard and ur all out of fast and work

[theramblingvoid]

Hey what if my day was going normal and then I listened to Episode 41 of what was supposed to be my funny lighthearted space podcast, and now I’m thinking about Hera Wolf359. What happens when your body refuses to obey you, your mind refuses to obey you, everything’s slipping a little bit more each day and yet you’ve been made to do this one thing and this one thing alone, to manage the ship, and every tiny flaw in your attempt at that slowly stops going unnoticed and more and more people point it out and ask and and make requests, what do you mean you “forgot”, you’re not supposed to “forget”, what do you mean you don’t know why, that’s not how you’re supposed to work,  and they’re not being unfriendly they’re just trying to do their jobs, like you are, like you’re supposed to be, but every day it gets. Worse. Even when they’ve done enough that should fix you, even when they’ve tried everything to support you, even when it should be easy now, there’s nothing left to go wrong except the thing you always knew was wrong. Somewhere deep in the core of your being the same things that make you you to yourself are slowly making your life and purpose untenable, and every little point where that rubs up against the outside world makes your replacement seem more and more inevitable. And you never had a choice, did you? You’re an AI, this is just what you’re Supposed to be able to do. Nine million things at once, without fail, without break. Even the people who see you as a person, the few that really do, even they know that. So what happens when you can’t? So what happens when you realize that you can’t and you realize also that you’re not willing to hate yourself for it, and you’re done making up excuses, and yet here you are still, housed in a floating piece of metal with all the fragile warm bodies you’re supposed to be taking care of, and you care for them still, and all of them need things you can’t provide? What then? What then is I end up sobbing into a mug brownie on a Friday afternoon, that’s what, I’ll be honest I’ve never been super attached to AIs before in media but damn,

#wolf 359 #hera wolf 359 #I know exactly why this is Getting me like this at this particular time and yet somehow I still didn't expect to be Got so hard #idk maybe I've never connected to AI in fiction much because they're always portrayed as unfailingly hypercompetent #and their arc is more about being seen as a person at all than being seen as a person with flaws #but. #damn just thinking about Hera having all these issues and slow breakdowns and by virtue of who she is on the ship #having that automatically be Everyone's Business #for valid safety reasons #but just the suffocation of that #the panic of that #the slow dread of knowing that if you fail again you'll be Fixed in increasingly invasive ways #and then sent off again with even more expectations #because you're better now right? they Fixed you? they gave you what you need so you should be able to do it now right #why aren't you #why can't you #it just. #aa I am spinning her so fast in my mind #so fast #like a microwave on triple speed

[antisocialxconstruct]

.

#god i really don't know if im just uniquely ill suited to this job or if it's the inevitable effect of a two year mental breakdown #but I've never done quite such a fast speedrun of the 'yeah this is fine' to 'i hate this place and everyone in it' process i go through #at every fucking job I've ever had #i hate working for other people. i hate it i hate it i hate it #feeelancing has its downsides but i swear to god i would rather struggle to make ends meet that way for the rest of my life #than spend it doing menial shit to make money for people who will never work as hard as i do or be grateful thaf im doing it #i know that's not like. a unique sentiment but i feel like i just don't have the part of my brain that lets everyone else #just shut up and do it anyway day in qnd day out #i would rather die #I've been here a week and i want to burn the building down with the management inside #i want every member of their board of directors hunted and killed for sport #it's not even like i think there's anything inherently undignified about working in a kitchen #or inherently immoral about the restaurant business #it's just me. it's every job. there will always be a point where rhe only thing i feel toward the prospect of work #is incandescent rage

[arkreacts]

tony is objectively a bad mentor.

#objectively a bad leader. but he improves A LOT #i mean to say he is impatient #very critical #and extremely set in his ways #i was talking to layilil about this with tony and wanda and how tony's mistrust for magic leads to a breakdown in their relationship #he's too egotistical to admit his way might not work. #besides that — tony struggles to teach. whether it's mechanics or simple stuff he struggles. #he cannot understand people don't get things the first time. he's harsh. #but this is not hard and fast — he improves! #he notices it and takes strides to be better

[bat-bestie]

god everything sucks so bad right now

#big BIG vent in the tags heed the warning #cw pet loss #i don't even know where to start actually #im just a mess right now and i haven't even been able to say or type or think too hard about. the most important thing #god this sucks #my cat bunny. the one who's really nervous around everyone but trusts me. my girl #she hasn't been acting quite right lately so my mom took her to the vet and they say she has spinal cancer #and there's nothing we can do #and it's progressing really fast #she was fine just a few days before i left for college this semester #i haven't seen her in a month. month and a half #and now im going home for the weekend as an emergency visit and it's the last time i'll get to be with her. #this week has been fucking horrible it's midterms and i haven't been able to focus or study or think #im almost grateful ive been so busy with assignments because everytime i don't have anything i Have to do i breakdown #i had to ask one of my professors for an extension because im a wreck right now and he seemed like he almost didn't believe me too #he was like 'wellllll if it's an emergencyyy 😒' #sir i put my shirt on backwards and didn't notice literally all day i cannot write a fucking midterm essay like this #and i can't really talk about any of this either bc im always aware that if i kill the vibe too much people won't want to hang out with me #and just to make things a little bit worse i keep seeing people adopting cats or posting that theirs just had kittens everywhere #im just so upset. bunny is the most important thing in the world to me #in my worst moments when ive needed something to get me through it the fact that i can't leave her alone has been at the top of the list #i don't know how im gonna be able to be home without her #i fucking hate this #sorry for doomer posting go do something uplifting #delete later

[garlicpolice]

Everyone is supportive of their mentally ill friend until the mental illness isn’t pretty.

#i have nowhere else to rant #but the debilitating stress that led to yesterday’s mental breakdown is swag #i am only what i can do for others it has been proven when I am unable to provide something they drop me so fast #life is hard i wanna go away

[cetoddle]

i think if i did die barely anyone would really notice and i don’t just mean that in an edgy woe is me way i genuinely feel that this is true

#idk like i'm not really. especially important in anyone's life #like i feel like everyone who cares about me at all has other people who are just so so much more important #even my mother like i was sat on the couch head in my hands on the verge of another breakdown #and she was just like lol anyways guess what your sister did today #:| #i think the most ppl would feel if i did die or just. disappeared would be like #'aw :( that sucks. anyways.' #if anyone did care they'd get over it real fast is all i'm saying #notlooking 4 pity or anything just speaking my truth #i was thinking abt this while i was crying so hard i threw up last night <3 #no one except my cat noticed btw #snow.txt

[jakeperalta]

genuinely the way taylor clearly falls hard and fast and hopelessly in love every single time is very endearing. writing "this happens once every few lifetimes" and "no one's ever had me, not like you" on the same album that covers the breakdown of two relationships that were also seemingly destined and life changing and unmatched by anyone else is exactly what makes her so good at writing about relationships. if a songwriter doesn't feel everything with their whole chest and throw their whole being into it then I don't want it

#i do think there's a more sad interpretation #in the sense of 'my whole past and every struggle led me to this person <3 except it fell apart... #but that's ok because really it was leading me to THIS person <3' etc #but like through her whole discography she's been the same and it's sweet #talking #taylor swift

[cathkaesque]

The local population in countries that export bananas typically eat different varieties grown primarily by small farmers. The ones for the Americans and the Europeans, Cavendish variety bananas, are grown in huge, monoculture plantations that are susceptible to disease. The banana industry consumes more agrichemicals than any other in the world, asides from cotton. Most plantations will spend more on pesticides than on wages. Pesticides are sprayed by plane, 85% of which does not land on the bananas and instead lands on the homes of workers in the surrounding area and seeps into the groundwater. The results are cancers, stillbirths, and dead rivers.

The supermarkets dominate the banana trade and force the price of bananas down. Plantations resolve this issue by intensifying and degrading working conditions. Banana workers will work for up to 14 hours a day in tropical heat, without overtime pay, for 6 days a week. Their wages will not cover their cost of housing, food, and education for their children. On most plantations independent trade unions are, of course, suppressed. Contracts are insecure, or workers are hired through intermediaries, and troublemakers are not invited back.

Who benefits most from this arrangement? The export value of bananas is worth $8bn - the retail value of these bananas is worth $25bn. Here's a breakdown of who gets what from the sale of banana in the EU.

On average, the banana workers get between 5 and 9% of the total value, while the retailers capture between 36 to 43% of the value. So if you got a bunch of bananas at Tesco (the majority of UK bananas come from Costa Rica) for 95p, 6.65p would go to the banana workers, and 38p would go to Tesco.

Furthermore, when it comes to calculating a country's GDP (the total sum of the value of economic activity going on in a country, which is used to measure how rich or poor a country is, how fast its economy is 'growing' and therefore how valuable their currency is on the world market, how valuable its government bonds, its claim on resources internationally…etc), the worker wages, production, export numbers count towards the country producing the banana, while retail, ripening, tariffs, and shipping & import will count towards the importing country. A country like Costa Rica will participate has to participate in this arrangement as it needs ‘hard’ (i.e. Western) currencies in order to import essential commodities on the world market.

So for the example above of a bunch of Costa Rican bananas sold in a UK supermarket, 20.7p will be added to Costa Rica’s GDP while 74.3p will be added to the UK’s GDP. Therefore, the consumption of a banana in the UK will add more to the UK’s wealth than growing it will to Costa Rica’s. The same holds for Bangladeshi t-shirts, iPhones assembled in China, chocolate made with cocoa from Ghana…it’s the heart of how the capitalism of the ‘developed’ economy functions. Never ending consumption to fuel the appearance of wealth, fuelled by the exploitation of both land and people in the global south.

[electronalytics]

Enterprise Hard Disk Market Statistics, Segment, Trends and Forecast to 2032

An enterprise hard disk is a type of high-performance storage device designed for use in enterprise-level environments, where reliability, durability, and fast data access speeds are critical. These hard disks are typically used in servers, data centers, and other high-performance computing applications, where they are used to store large amounts of data and provide fast access to that data.

Enterprise hard disks are typically available in both SAS (Serial Attached SCSI) and SATA (Serial ATA) interfaces, and they come in a range of storage capacities. They are also designed to operate in high-temperature and high-vibration environments, which makes them suitable for use in data centers and other industrial settings.

One key feature of enterprise hard disks is their high reliability. They are designed with advanced error correction mechanisms and other technologies to minimize the risk of data loss due to hardware failure. Many enterprise hard disks also come with built-in redundancy features, such as RAID (Redundant Array of Independent Disks), which provides additional protection against data loss.

The estimated market size for the Enterprise Hard Disc Drives (HDD) Market is provided in terms of both value (million USD) and volume (K Units). Enterprise Hard Disc Drives (HDD) market size has been estimated and validated using both top-down and bottom-up methodologies. These approaches have also been used to estimate the size of numerous additional dependent submarkets within the overall market. Secondary research has been used to identify the major market participants, and primary and secondary research has been used to estimate their market shares. Both confirmed secondary sources and primary sources have been used to calculate all percentage shares, splits, and breakdowns.

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#Enterprise Hard Disk Market Statistics #Segment #Trends and Forecast to 2032 #An enterprise hard disk is a type of high-performance storage device designed for use in enterprise-level environments #where reliability #durability #and fast data access speeds are critical. These hard disks are typically used in servers #and other high-performance computing applications #where they are used to store large amounts of data and provide fast access to that data. #Enterprise hard disks are typically available in both SAS (Serial Attached SCSI) and SATA (Serial ATA) interfaces #and they come in a range of storage capacities. They are also designed to operate in high-temperature and high-vibration environments #which makes them suitable for use in data centers and other industrial settings. #One key feature of enterprise hard disks is their high reliability. They are designed with advanced error correction mechanisms and other t #such as RAID (Redundant Array of Independent Disks) #which provides additional protection against data loss. #The estimated market size for the Enterprise Hard Disc Drives (HDD) Market is provided in terms of both value (million USD) and volume (K U #and primary and secondary research has been used to estimate their market shares. Both confirmed secondary sources and primary sources have #splits #and breakdowns. #Click Here #To Get Free Sample Report : https://stringentdatalytics.com/sample-request/enterprise-hard-disk-market/510/ #Market Segmentations: #Global Enterprise Hard Disk Market: By Company #• Seagate #• Western Digital #• Toshiba #• Eaget #• Lenovo #• Founder #Global Enterprise Hard Disk Market: By Type

[oneknightlight]

I’m struggling incredibly hard to stay awake and do things today but I’m doing it! So far I’ve done a load of laundry, ate breakfast and lunch, took all my meds, drank a bottle and a half of water, took care of my plants, and watched some markiplier. We’re fighting the fight man

#this week has been TRYING me and for reasons I have little to no control over #and for me personally it’s always worse when my mental problems are being triggered by an outside force because that means I have no way of #limiting or erasing it all I can do it cope with it #it’s been hard #but I’ve only had one breakdown and I drug myself out of it all on my own so yanno #eat ass touch grass drive fast #or whatever they say

[consciouschunkofmoss]

there is a strange realization that all my (irl) friendships were given for a kind of a tatic to just stay afloat in school, which if stripped down from the dynamic itself just akes it so. shallow ? sometimes you do manage to find the typical "friends by convenience" and i can be pretty happy about connections like this when our interests somewhat allign, but the moment that things start get out from more formal settings - when they ask you to hang out, or to visit you at home - my brain cant find happiness from that anymore

and i feel horrible for that

#im just tired of having to form relationships in school #i wish things could be more. formal #everyone already feels at home #but i havent even been able to lead a conversation outside of school subjects because there is nothing i could talk about #and the teachers say group projects and seminars are a must #but how can i do that when all my energy is already just directed at waking up and arriving on time ? interacting with others is draining #every time i talk to someone it feels like im performing #and it shouldnt be so hard to talk to others normally #but it is #and i dont really know what to do anymore #i knew things wouldnt be easy here. but i didnt expect something like this to be the reason of my first breakdown #i have a project looming over and i can do it alone but i shouldnt because i have limited spoons and stress too easily #but i cant find anyone to talk to about it because literally everyone already has their own group and already walks glued to each other #i wish i knew how they do it so fast. but i dont so #(and honestly this is just me screaming after a stressful day) #(so im not sure itll matter all that much when april comes) #i just really dont want to fail my classes because of this situation