#and so i guess they're my dream | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dollypopup · 1 month

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I think it's interesting to look at the 'Mr. Bridgerton' scene as a backdrop for the eventual mirror scene. Firstly, in the fact that I think we've kind of misinterpreted it.

So many people are of the mind that scene's purpose to 'drag' Colin, but really, that scene has 3 primary functions. The first is to inform Colin that Penelope is aware of what he said of her, thus opening the door to clearing the air between them and providing an avenue for which Colin can apologize. The second is to establish the ground that they are currently on: Penelope has given up on the dream of Colin Bridgerton, in particular the perfect prince that can do no wrong, and has made it clear to him. It also creates distance between them that they will bridge.

But the third, and to me the most wrapped up in the mirror and the inner workings of their relationship is that it reveals how Penelope feels about *herself*. It's not necessarily an echo of what the ton considers her as, after all, we have a lot of evidence indicating that, for all intents and purpose, people aren't *unkind* about her, but rather that they ignore her. Audience members recognize this as Penelope's own shyness being the cause, she is often sitting off on the sidelines or not really talking to much of anyone, in the books she's referred to as the 'one who doesn't speak', and her LW business takes her away from being a character in the action of the ton to a bystander, kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts that perpetuates itself. Pen felt unseen so she became LW to have some power, but then LW herself must remain unseen and Penelope continues to be by design of her own making.

No, I think what it really reveals is that Penelope has incredibly low personal self esteem. We as a fandom has lauded that scene as her dragging Colin, saying that he's cruel and calling him Mr. Bridgerton is absolutely meant to create distance between them, but I don't think she's dragging him.

Because the person she is *actually* dragging here. . .is herself. And it is a general theme in her life. In Whistledown. Aloud. Even with Marina, when she complimented her, she assumes that she's lying. When Edwina says she's wearing a pretty dress, Penelope puts herself down and doesn't believe her, even when the compliment is genuine. In truth, Portia is not seen as being particularly unkind to Penelope. At least, speaking as someone who's mum was *awful* about my size and weight and outfits, Portia is. . .overall rather mild. She's not KIND and loving, not by a long shot, but she's also not targeting Penelope only. She's plenty mean and critical to Prudence, too, even to the point where she foists her off to her own cousin as a pawn piece. Penelope has low self esteem because of a lot of reasons, she's bullied by Cressida (I think a lot of girls are, she was pretty mean even to Daphne in S1) and her family isn't very tender to her, and she's not being pursued at every turn, but part of it is also her own perpetuation.

Listen to what she says "Of course you would never court me" "I embarrass you" "I am the laughingstock of the the ton". She sees *herself* as an embarrassment. She puts *herself* down. Arguably, more so than the ton does. She's meaner to herself than anyone else is, aside from Cressida. And honestly? Looking at Colin's face there. . .he is HURT that she considers herself this way. That she's projecting that onto him. Yes, he's hurt that he hurt her, of course he is, he never wants to hurt her. And yes, he's ashamed that he said he wouldn't court her the way he did and that in doing so, he validated her fears that she is unloved and unwanted, but also because. . .she already feels that way about herself. She's felt that way for years. And it's painful to care about someone, to see them as wonderful, and realize. . .they don't feel the same about themselves at all. I don't think Colin is out here feeling so wounded over the fact that she called him cruel and won't refer to him by first name anymore, but that he's most hurt by what she says about herself.

Because he *doesn't* see her the way she accuses. She says she never expected him of all people to be so cruel, but he feels the same way. He never expected her to be so cruel to *herself*. He wants to go somewhere private, not because she is an embarrassment, but because he wants to have a private conversation with her. Maybe assure her. Maybe explain himself. Maybe hash it out. But god Luke Newton's acting. . .he is *aching* for her. And it feels like he's going to do those lessons not in atonement for what he said (thank god) but to genuinely help his friend who thinks badly of herself. To lift her up. It's not about him at all, not about earning forgiveness, but about elevating Penelope. And that's. . .fuck, I just find that's just so heart stoppingly beautiful.

You can see, in that scene, how much he cares about her. How deeply and genuinely he adores her as a person. And just how painful it is for him to know he has validated, whether on purpose or otherwise, how poorly she feels about herself. How low her self-confidence really is. She is giving him a glimpse into the cracks of her heart, and when he sees them, he wants to reach out with both hands and make it feel better. Make her feel better.

After she says 'even when I change my entire wardrobe', he looks so fucking crushed. So 'don't say that'. So 'you really believe that?'. So 'God, I hate that you think that way'.

Because regardless of it all, he does love her. It's not romantic yet. It's not sexual yet. But he genuinely, truly, from the bottom of his heart, thinks she's wonderful. That was evident even in the 'purpose' scene. Every time Penelope opens up and reveals a facet of herself, he likes it. He likes her barbs and her dreams, he likes talking to her. He likes her. And he feels awful that he hurt her. And he feels awful that she's hurting herself. He loves her. He wants her to love herself.

And that's where the mirror scene comes in. Because the mirror scene isn't about sex, not really. Not entirely, at least. The mirror scene is about *intimacy*. The mirror scene is about being seen. Not just her seeing him, or him seeing her, but for Penelope to see *herself*. In a way, through his eyes. Because hers are biased rather negatively toward herself, which is evidenced in the 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene, and in so many little moments we've already gotten where she's literally looking down on herself, feeling down. She doesn't necessarily *like* what's in the mirror, but he does. Because he likes *her*. And he wants to show her that he does. Show her that he finds her beautiful and have her recognize that in herself.

The 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene is about Penelope revealing how she sees herself. The mirror scene is about Colin showing her how *he* sees her. The Goodnight scene is about Penelope thinking she means nothing to him, that he thinks of her the way she thinks of herself, that this is how everyone thinks of her, and the mirror scene is a direct response to that: No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't think she's embarrassing. No, he doesn't think she's a laughingstock. No, he doesn't think she's unappealing. And he doesn't think she should, either.

And he's going to show her that. Not just tell her, but show her. The mirror scene is so often a focus on Penelope, so much of Polin is in Penelope's focus, but approaching it from Colin's perspective and his motivations is so fulfilling, too. It's a glimpse into them in conversation, and a demonstrate of how Colin loves her. How Colin loves in general, openly and earnestly and altruistically. How he encourages her to be braver and more confident in herself, bolstering her because he just likes her *that much*. How he finds the most fulfillment and satisfaction in caring aloud. The mirror scene is a demonstration of his heart in reflection.

When Luke Newton said the first word that came to mind with the word 'Mirror' was 'Exposed', he doesn't just mean physically. He means emotionally, too.

God this couple is so fucking good.

#polin #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #Bridgerton #i love them #but honestly? i think i read too deeply into them #this is the only post about them i'll keep up #but after everything i've seen in this fandom and the promos and the synopsis- i don't think these two are friends #and i think i have given them more nuance and depth than they actually will get #and so i guess they're my dream #this version of them #the version of them that loves each other deeply and sees one another and has tenderness for each other #but everyone else in the fandom was right- we won't get this #we will get penelope needing external validation through the ton's opinion and we won't get colin being a full character #we will get a story based on suffering and holding scorecards against each other #we will get groveling and cold shoulders and drama in place of real growth #i suppose it's just sad for me #because i read so much of what i've thought of these two and i *see* the love i have for them #but bton and this fandom don't have that same love #so i have to let go of that dream #and that's for the best #but as a memento: have this #i've written a lot of love letters to this pairing- consider this one of them

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frenchublog · 9 months

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ily

#spuffy #spike x buffy #buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #my art #lmao guess who's brainrot again #sarah michelle gellar #james marsters #redraw screenshot #in pain since like forever #spuffy walked so that reylo could run #because it seems like all my ships are doomed and you'd think id be full of hate but no #im powerful because i decided to not care #denial is key #please dont repost #this came to me in a dream #they're effulgent #btw theres bonus art/doodles on instagram #things i couldn't put on the pages

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svtskneecaps · 6 months

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honestly my deepest wish is for someone to somehow guess the bolas rojas group call password during a conversation along the lines of the breast milk discussion. i want them to be attempting to spy and walk in on some absolutely BONKERS horseshit. i want someone to be all serious and Lore Mode and then enter while the team is once again trying to guess what carre ate based on the sound of his fart. the spy comes in expecting coordinating or task comms or location information and instead the team is discussing nuclear meltdowns in switzerland and whether a gas mask can save you. there's a disaster. it's poison gas. they're celebrating.

(my other wish is someone tries to read their subtitles and figure out if the subtitles are mistranslations. the subtitles go crazy. they're barking)

#qsmp #qsmp purgatory #qsmp red team #qsmp bolas #qsmp bolas rojas #yea there's too many tags lol #shut up vic #block game brainrot #this is my deepest wish and my wildest fantasy because who in their right mind is gonna guess 'beaver'#unfortunately if they ever 'guess' the password they're 100% metagaming so it remains a dream #but a FUCKING HILARIOUS DREAM #sometimes i wish they'd patch a lonely etoiles into the call during one of these conversations #just to see what would happen

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yuriyuruandyuraart · 1 year

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*sighs* precious baby version of night and his mentally drained brother/dad got me dropping everything for a quick doodle<333

au by @dreemurr-skelememer

#my art #utmv #resetmare #dream sans #nightmare sans #nightmare #dream #ughhh idk i don't like how any of these came out >:'D #i mean they're a lil rushed i guess- but eh it's good enough to post hhh #i wanted to add so many more scenes but goshh i need to keep up with my studies at this point before i fall behind HGFVG #sketching the first lil drawing made me think of myself as a kid nagging my parents with so many weirdly specific questions xD #that or night is probably talking dream's nonexistent ears off about a story he read or his crazy day playing with the animals outside-#man what an adorable and sweet kiddo! nothing is wrong with him or his imaginary monster friend :) <333 #(but seriously tho..dream is so sleep deprived he'd just chalk up seeing tentacles move around the house as hallucinations hh :'Dc)#augh i just love this concept (dadmare/dadream in general) so muchh like YESSS gimme more of the anxious angsty brother stories<3333

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x-i-l-verify · 10 months

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An art commission from the very lovely and talented @pppuri illustrating two of the main characters from my Dream SMP vampire AU, which features copious amounts of worldbuilding, found family feels, slavery, hurt/comfort, dark SBI, and BBH Dormouse and Dream the Emerald being the most dynamic of unlikely duos.

#dream smp #dsmp #dsmp fanart #dsmp fanfic #dsmp badboyhalo #dsmp dream #c!bbh #c!badboyhalo #c!dream #c!dreamwastaken #dsmp vampire au #vampire au #a jewel in the mousehole #stuff for me #xi arts #everyone please go shower pppuri with love they're such a good artist and lovely to work with fr fr #i'm so so happy with how this turned out you have no idea they did such a lovely job bringing my vision to life #i'm using this as motivation to get off my butt and write more for this AU it really is one of my faves #not least of which because i'm a sucker for c!BBH&c!Dream content and if i gotta write it myself that's the way it goes i guess #yes Bad is missing a foot #yes Dream is blind #no this does not cause any problems for them at all :)))) (not so! I lie)#also in case you were wondering Bad belongs to Technoblade and Dream belongs to Kristin #do with that information what you will

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demodraws0606 · 20 days

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You know I think there is something interesting to say in terms of where the fuck WxS is going because like

I think WxS is the only unit where the end goal or overall progression is probably the most unknown out of all of them ???

MMJ and VBS are extremely obvious, they both have the most explicit goals that are said to us in a straightforward way

25-ji, in the end we know the main goal at the end will be for all of the characters to go over their hurdles with Mafuyu finally being able to find herself and move forward

Leo/need is probably the closest in terms of vagueness but we know the end goal is clear for them to grow as a band, probably ending in a big concert or something along those lines

But with WxS...like I guess the closest thing I can see to an end goal is all of WxS preparing a show together with everyone playing their part but that definitely doesn't feel like something you'd build up for an entire arc and definitely not something that feels fitting after the emotional turmoil that was the disbandement arc ???

In terms of physical achievements as well they literally revived an entire parc through one gigantic show, so it just comes into question what they can do now.

Then you look at their first few event for this arc considering usually the first event kinda set up what will be planned for the future but it's...weird.

Yeah, Tsukasa and Rui's events set up they're inexperienced and how they will grow in the future but also there is this weird feeling of something feeling off ?

The plays/scripts all are strangely depressing, the play in Tsukasa's event being about a failed writer planning to drown himself (which I believe is one of the only undeniable explicit description of suicide ever in the game?????) and the second being someone whose given up on life meeting their estranged sister only for her to become ill.

We even have Emu's side story in Rui's event where they watched the movie Rin was watching during the event made by the same producer and Emu herself note how depressing the story is (meanwhile the main character of the movie clearly parallels Rui)

We don't see the conclusion of these in-game stories as well, lingering on their worst moment never really seeing the presumably happy conclusion.

THEN we also have Emukasa fes which....again strangely different in tone from what you'd expect a WxS fes card, they're not really all that conclusive either. Tsukasa never aknowledges how he relates to the brother in the story and Emu doesn't really get a conclusion on her grief.

Then we also have Rui's entire fuckign event with the cards and his cyberpunk deadbo-YOU SEE WHAT IM SAYING

The closest we fucking have to knowing what WxS's fucking endgoal towards the story is, is fucking WL which....TELLS US NOTHING

At least with VBS we know that they're goal is to go even further beyond and conquer the whole world, that is a developpement of their goal.

What I'm saying is I don't know what the fuck colorpalet is cooking wiht WxS but I feel like i'm a fucking twilight zone reading the way they're writing WxS now because I can't be the only one feeling insane at how weird all of this is

#wxs #wonderlandxshowtime #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #wxs prsk #wxs pjsk #reading this fucking unit feels like i'm stuck in a strange hell dimension where everything just feels like foreshadowing or some kind of #fucking wink colorpalet is oding at me like it's not the first time they've done insane foreshadowing with wxs #in fact its the norm #i wish i could know what goes on in their head when they write these clowns cos i swear i can't understand what the fuck they're doing #like with other units i can geyt like a general idea #but like WxS ????#they could go literally anywhere with them #i guess going to broadway could be like a huge goal but like ?????#it doesn't FEEL WxS yknow ?#especially after the disbandement arc which we technically haven't gotten really a conclusion for because...Emu's still gonna come back ??#So like what do we do when Emu comes back to Pheonix Wonderland ?????????????#Cos I do think WxS would want to come back to perform but ESPECIALLY nene's dreams are kind of incompatible with that #cos we know she wants to perform all over the world like her idol #It's just #I guess I'm waiting to see what kind of unholy bullshit colorpalet has for us after the pain that was the disbandement arc #i was also tired while writing this so if this seems extremely rambly thats why #i'm just losing my mind

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sysig · 7 months

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Hello! I feel like rereading Vargas these days so, I'd like to request some Edgar, Scriabin interaction (maybe one of them being vulnerable), if that's okay?

Day 14 - Stop making your lack of imagination my problem ò///q

#My art #Requestober #Vargas #Edgar #Scriabin #I gotta be honest - I was initially stumped by this prompt lol #Me! The one who pines constantly! Nuts about these two specifically! Lol #(It's because my brain was all in on Adventure Time when it came in lol)#But that actually turned out to my advantage ♪#If you've seen Fionna and Cake Episode 8 - you know #It's been enough of a bit since I gave the current song to them - I'll still occasionally stumble across a song to add to my Vargas playlis #But just the current earworm being gifted to them? It's been a bit! So I decided to give it a go for inspiration #Well if that scene already made me cry guess what giving the song to them did lol #Specifically ''I've seen worlds in you I didn't know how to dream'' like ugh kill me ♥#Everyone go listen to Everything In You and yearn! Yearn with me!! Haha #Drawing them vulnerable is still a favourite of mine ♪ I love when they're sweet to each other #Edgar being affectionate! Love when that happens <3 #And a flustered Scriabin ♫ And yet they're not pushing each other they're just gently accepting each other <3 <3 #Plus drawing Edgar's hand like that was fun haha ♪♫ Gently hold ♥#Fingers spread like that with his thumb on his cheek hhhhhh I can't not sweetness #Anyhow - enjoy your reread :D I'm still holding off so enjoy it for everyone if you would! Haha

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feroluce · 15 days

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Lucid Dreamer (2/2)

part 1

Gepard stalls almost a week before he finally goes out to the safehouse, and it takes him a couple days to find it because Sampo didn't have the time left to be wasn't super specific about the location. But he does find it.

It's pretty bare bones, really. Gepard knows that was probably to be expected, but… It feels crushing, when he realizes there are so few personal things here. It's nothing specific to Sampo. Just some food, some medical supplies. A cot and a heater and a lot of mismatched blankets. Nothing to remember someone by.

But he does find the letters, in a metal box stashed away under the bed.

There are two for him. Three for Natasha, and two for Seele. One for Hook, one for Serval, one for Pela, one for Bronya.

Bronya's is mostly business. They knew each other from the whole Stellaron incident, but not much beyond that, and the incoming catastrophe is a more pressing matter. Seele's is actually two copies of the same letter, and Gepard realizes why when Seele is so angry she rips the first one up without reading it. He gives her the copy a couple days later, and she slinks off without a word.

Pela seems completely normal after hers is delivered, but Gepard knows better than to trust that. The next day, he finds her asleep in bed with Serval, bottles abandoned on the floor, both their eye makeup smeared and running and Pela's glasses horribly smudged and crooked on her face. Serval doesn't read hers in front of him, but she's clingy with Gepard, Pela, and Lynx for quite a while after. She throws herself into her work a lot. She insists the heater from the safehouse is busted and she needs to keep it. It's too dangerous for use by someone who's not an engineer. Might burn their house down or something. Gepard doesn't argue.

Hook's letter is short, with easy to read words. The rest of it is actually a treasure map, and she and the moles spend the next several days running through the Underground, finding hidden candy and toys. Hook asks them when Sampo is coming back, because one of the marbles she found from his map looks green, just like his eyes, and she wants to give it to him. Natasha shoos Gepard out of the clinic before he can even begin to think of an answer.

Natasha refuses to let him see what's in her letters, which ok, fine, he'll respect that. He hears from Bronya who heard from Seele who heard from Natasha herself though that one of the letters was a map and the other a catalogue, with all of Sampo's hidden "warehouses." Gepard promptly marches himself back out to the frontlines, where he can turn a blind eye. If a ton of stolen goods suddenly enters the black market, and if the orphanage and the clinic suddenly have new supplies, well, technically that's none of his business.

Gepard goes to bed, curls up under mismatched blankets and closes his eyes.

He doesn't dream.

One of Gepard's letters was also business, like Bronya's and Natasha's. He and Bronya follow everything meticulously, down to the letter, because there has to be some good to get out of all this, there has to be. Gepard can't let it all be for nothing, it would bury him.

And so the catastrophe passes. Not without casualties, and not without a lot of damage and destruction. But Belobog survives.

And after that, time just kind of…goes on. Gepard has been a part of the Silvermanes since he was old enough to enlist. The Fragmentum had gotten so much worse in the years before Welt sealed the Stellaron. He knows the statistics, it is literally his and Pela's jobs to keep track. He knows when he sees a face everyday in the camps and then it's suddenly gone. He's not unfamiliar with things like grief and loss.

He still catches himself checking the trashcans and the supply crates and soldiers' footprints sometimes, though.

But there comes a night where Gepard goes to bed, holding the mismatched blankets to his face, and he dreams. And it's strange, it's off, it sticks with him. Sampo doesn't look the same. He's thinner. His muscles have atrophied. He looks like how Gepard has seen soldiers after months in the hospital.

The most unsettling difference is there's a scar across the left side of his head, Gepard can see it over his ear, peeking out past his hairline, carving towards his cheek. Sampo is always careful about his face. Gepard once saw him dodge a Fragmentum monster and literally let it cut across his neck just to keep his face clear. He wouldn't let that happen for nothing.

Their actions in the dream itself aren't new. Sampo seems tired, run down and worn out, but he announces his presence with aplomb by lobbing a bunch of smoke bombs off the rooftops and sending his soldiers scrambling. Same shit, different day.

The new part is what he says when Gepard chases him out to the edges of the camp, tackles him into the snow. Gepard pins him to the frozen ground to detain him and Sampo doesn't even fight it, just looks up at him like he's seeing sunrise for the first time in months.

"I'll be home in one week."

#sampard #gepo #hsr gepard #hsr sampo #gepard landau #sampo koski #hsr natasha #pelageya sergeyevna #serval landau #bronya rand #hsr seele #hsr hook #honkai star rail #my fics #lucid dreamer #I was initially just going to let Sampo stay dead because I love that kind of thing #but I ended up liking this ending so I guess I'll let it stay haha #I love thinking about Sampo's relationships with the rest of the cast and their reactions to all this #he was a founding member of Mechanical Fever. he still plays shows with Pela and Serval.#Pela is constantly giving him second chances like in the museum event and letting him volunteer with the Silvermanes.#And Serval could say SO much about him but all she says is 'hah that guy' and mentions Gepard is going to catch him someday.#I need the three of them to be a weird trio of buddies fdksaljfdkl #Sampo is seen with Seele plenty and he's with Natasha so much that Hook literally thought he was horribly ill for a long time.#I love them having some kind of odd comraderie #and oh my god I am the biggest Hook & Sampo stan ever they're so so cute and sweet and precious and WAH #so I think Sampo would want to be prepared for just in case he didn't make it back. that he would have a contingency plan for everything.#and he would miss these people and this city enough to show up in their dreams one last time.#but I'd like to think he saved Gepard for last #and it is not just because he has a crush or any kind of romantic feelings for him. There's more to it than that.#(If I'm being super honest I don't even really ship them with romance involved. I have a hard time picturing them like that.)

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