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#and now i will make you all sad with it too
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Found this while going through my fanfic files, and i absolutely had to share.
Danny: i want in
Red robin: …what?
Danny: your bat family. I want in.
Red robin, blinking in surprise: i dont know what you think you know about my associates, but we're not-
Danny: dont be obtuse. I know youre the smart one. And i also know that your all one big relatively happy family. I want in.
Red robin: …why?
Danny: because you guys are the first people ive found that are wealthy, intelligent and powerful enough to take on my fruitloop godfather and win AND are decent enough human beings that i can be assured that when all is said and done, my well-being will remain a top priority.
Orphan, appearing out of nowhere: new brother!
Danny: *stares in shock*
Danny: *sudden uncanny grin* well that's one convinced. How do i win over the rest?
Orphan: no need. New brother!
Red robin: *pointed glance of betrayal* fine. Who is your godfather?
Danny: vlad masters. He's a fruitloop.
Red robin: for real? B's been investigating him for years! Tell me everything! *genuinely excited for a new lead*
Danny: well, he's tried to murder my dad and marry my mom, gained his wealth illegally, committed voting fraud to become the mayor of my hometown, has a secret underground lab where he does unethical experiments, and he's abducted me more than a dozen times even before my parents disowned me to make me his evil apprentice or whatever. Now that im homeless, he's literally out to get me. Oh! And he's cloned me too! She's cool though, we're buddies now.
Batman, who just arrived but heard everything over comms: hn. (Translation: who are you?)
Danny: my name is Danny. No last name anymore, but im hoping itll soon be Wayne! *winking suggestively*
Batman: hn? (how much do you know?)
Danny: enough to know that youre a much better alternative to vlad.
Batman: …hn (i dont know anything about you. What if youre a spy for vlad?)
Danny, giving his salesman pitch: i was a teen vigilante in amity park before i had to run away from home for my own safety. Vlad is one of my rogues. I know how to fight and defend myself, how to minimize collateral damage in a fight, and ive gotten really good and escaping kidnapping attempts. Ive also managed to reform and/or make allies out of approximately half of my rogues and can talk down about 30% of all rogue confrontations before they turn into a messy fight. The other things i can bring to the table are: one, i can teach all of you guys proper liminality self care; two, i can probably minimize and possibly cure red hood's anger issues; three, i can get along with stabby robin because i consider fighting a friendly social interaction - he can even stab me and i wont be injured by it; four, i can be your go-to guy for supernatural cases so you no longer have to deal with that sad trenchcoat man; five-
Red robin: *blurting* youre hired.
Batman: hn (i am deeply concerned)
Danny: if youre concerned now, wait until i tell you about the anti ecto control act
Nightwing, who showed up in the middle of the sales pitch: ive never seen anyone crack B's grunt language so quickly
Danny: grunt language? He's just using ghost speak - which will be covered by the liminality self care lessons
Robin, who arrived with batman: what is a liminal?
Danny: all of you, of course! Otherwise you wouldnt need to learn about it, obviously
Robin: and why would we trust you?
Danny: did i mention i have a pet ghost dog?
Robin: …you drive a hard bargain
Danny, fist pumping: yes! That's three!
Nightwing: four, you got me when you could understand B's grunting
Red Hood, arrived with nightwing: five, assuming you arent lying about the pit rage
Danny, hand to his chest: i would never!
Orphan: honesty. Earnest. New brother.
Oracle, over comms: six. The anti ecto acts are legit and im terrified for his safety, assuming he's phantom, who is the vigilante of amity park
Spoiler, arrived with orphan: seven, as long as youre down for a few pranks
Batman: hn (ive been outvoted)
Batman: hnn (i dont wanna hear any jokes about adoption habits when you all forced my hand)
Batman: hn (that said)
Batman: welcome to the family
Duke, the next day: man, i miss out on everything exciting.
Duke, blinded by danny: and who the fuck told bruce he could adopt the fucking sun?!
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drchucktingle · 2 days
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space raptor butt experiment
when conservative ideas are put to the test they basically always fail. specifically ruminating on how very early in my career conservative goofs tried to force me into an award for ONE specific reason: irony. in their mind, as a queer artist, i OBVIOUSLY didnt belong there
that is premise RABID PUPPIES had at hugo awards, that CHUCK TINGLE was least likely person to be taken seriously and therefore would delegitimize something serious. to them it was unfathomable that i could be making REAL art because i was too strange, queer, and UNTRADITIONAL
conservatives in literary space believe TRADITIONAL is RIGHT and everything else is distraction. now we have a literal TEST OF THIS THEORY. they GOT TO PICK THEIR FIGHTER in the arena, to see my art and whisper amongst themselves 'this is epitome of progressive artistic failure'
this test has been running for nearly ten years now, not in a lab but ON THIS TIMELINE OF REALITY. and look at the results, look how much tinglers resonate, how many buckaroos have gathered to support my art. CAMP DAMASCUS was a best seller. BURY YOUR GAYS COMIN IN HOT
this is not a moment to just sit around and pat myself on the back, but i think it is worth recognizing something. RABID PUPPIES and all of those conservative literary goofs were unequivocally WRONG about me and my art. because they are philosophically wrong about EVERYTHING
they have joined a long line of lonesome whining goofs who will say ‘let the market decide’ and when the market decides that their work is slop they will CONVENIENTLY forget what they initially stood for. more sad lonely devils moaning in their basements while we trot in the sun
i will end this observation with this: THANK YOU for being a part of this experiment with me, for seeing my unique expression and trotting along beside me. for as much as i have proven love to you on this path, YOU HAVE PROVEN LOVE TO ME. HERES TO TROTTING INTO THE FUTURE
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saintobio · 20 hours
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blank canvas: the epilogue.
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pairings. ryōmen sukuna, fem!reader
genre. past lovers, angst, opposites attract
tags/warnings. mentions of toxic relationships, purple hearts-ish themes, maybe some heartache
notes. 2.4k wc. i said it’ll come in a few days, but i had free time so here it issss!
part 1 | part 2 | part 3
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TWO YEARS LATER
Tonight was Yuki and Choso’s going-away party. 
Their decision to migrate to another side of the world was because Yuki had always talked about wanting to live abroad, and so when Choso was offered a once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity in another country, it became the perfect chance for them to make that dream a reality.
So despite your apprehensions, you couldn’t miss the chance to see Yuki one last time and accepted her invitation to the party.
The evening was alive with laughter and chatter as their families and friends gathered to celebrate their bittersweet departure. Among the crowd, you spotted some familiar faces who exchanged greetings with the couple, as well as some strangers you had never seen before.
But one person was conspicuously absent. 
It had been two years since you had seen Sukuna, and the thought of potentially running into him again filled you with a strange mix of anticipation and dread. However, deep down, you knew he wouldn’t be there. There was no chance of him ever showing up because you hadn’t heard from him since that fateful night. The apartment you once shared together now housed a new tenant, and the tattoo shop across the street had transformed into a record store. Neither Yuki, nor Choso (even Yuuji), had mentioned anything about Sukuna since then, possibly avoiding any mentions of him to you out of his request. He had simply disappeared, evaporated from existence, leaving behind nothing but a fading memory.
As you scanned the room with a forlorn smile, your thoughts were interrupted by Yuki’s cheerful voice. “Y/N! So glad you could make it! I thought you weren’t gonna come, too.”
Your first instinct was to hug her tightly. “Of course, not! You know I can’t not see you before you go.”
“Aww.” She embraced you tighter before pulling away with a sad smile. “I’m gonna miss you so much. You’re like a little sister to me.” 
Indeed, and she was the big sister you never had. Things would feel different without her here, but you supported her decisions and would always wish her the best in her future endeavors. So, despite the distance you two would soon have, you gave her a reassuring pat on the back. “We can still keep in touch. And maybe, I’ll pay you a visit there, too.” 
“Honestly, I would love that!” she enthused, “Please do, even if I have to harass Getou and Gojou about it.” 
You chuckled as she mentioned the duo’s name and spent the next few minutes with you chatting for a bit, catching up with your life, talking about your future plans. It was amazing how much can change in two years, and how some things can also stay the same. Like your friendship. And this bond that you would never find with anyone else.
For now, the night was still young, and you knew Yuki still had many more guests to accommodate, so you didn’t want to take all of her time. Eventually she did excuse herself to greet more guests, and you found yourself standing by the kitchen island, absentmindedly stirring your cocktail.
As you stood in the corner of the room, surrounded by the chatter and laughter of the party, you felt a sudden jolt run through your body as loud voices boomed across the room. They were Yuuji and Choso’s exuberant greetings cutting through the air, drawing everyone’s attention, including yours.
“Nii-san!”
“There he goes, Mr. First Lieutenant!” 
Your eyes widened as you saw the figure they were addressing with playful salute—a man in a crisp military uniform, standing tall and confident. It took you a moment to recognize him, but when you did, your heart skipped a beat.
It was Sukuna.
He looked different, transformed almost, his demeanor more composed, his smile softer yet still retaining the undeniable aura of masculinity. He looked a lot more muscular than the last you remembered. His hair, now dyed back to its natural color, was neatly trimmed. You recognized that the uniform he wore was of the Japan Self-Defense Forces, adorned with badges and insignias that spoke of his achievements. The reckless, wild look in his eyes had been replaced by something steadier, more focused.
It wasn’t just the sight of him that made your heart skip a beat—it was how different he looked. 
“That’s so cool!” Yuuji raved about his older brother’s badges, his starry eyes genuinely intrigued at the sight of Sukuna in a uniform. 
Choso, on the other hand, was pulling him in a hug in an emotional jest. “Dammit. You said you couldn’t make it!” 
“Don’t cry now,” Sukuna teased, patting the younger brother’s back. He seemed to be genuinely having fun teasing his brothers. “Had to pull some strings. I was on duty, but do ‘ya think I’d let you go without seeing you?” 
You felt a pang of nostalgia in their interaction, but also recognized the visible difference in the way your ex-boyfriend spoke to others. He was genuinely happy. He was all smiles. He was the healthiest version of himself, both physically and emotionally.
It was clear to you that Sukuna had turned his life around, and it was evident that he was doing well in his field of work. The man you once knew, who had been consumed by his reckless way of life, was now standing tall and respected as an honorable member of the military.
When you said you had never met Sukuna again in your lifetime, that was true. Because the Sukuna you knew was no longer here. It was an entirely different man, changed for the better, just not for you. 
As if sensing your gaze, Sukuna turned and your eyes mirrored each other’s surprise. For a moment, the world around you seemed to fade away, as if you were characters in a movie screen seeing each other for the very first time. It was as though your eyes were the camera, and he was the actor. You could say you were starstruck, your heart thumping so loud that you could hear it vibrate through your ears. 
Two freaking years, and Sukuna still had that effect on you. 
You didn’t know what to do. You found yourself at a loss, the red cup in your hand now shaking from the sudden surge of anxiety. Your mind was a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts, a kaleidoscope of heavy emotions, a tornado of nostalgic bliss, leaving you feeling adrift in a sea of memories. 
You wondered if Sukuna hated having to see you here. And if so, should you leave to spare yourself—or perhaps him—from any potential discomfort?
Caught in this internal struggle, you felt paralyzed, uncertain of what to do next. But then, you saw a flicker of recognition and regret in his eyes. 
Before you could even contemplate your next move, Sukuna was already excusing himself from his brothers. Their knowing looks exchanged in silence spoke volumes, indicating they were aware of where he was headed. The realization then hit you like a wave. Sukuna, your ex-boyfriend of two years, was coming toward you, and you were suddenly faced with a decision between confronting the past or making a quick escape.
“Y/N,” he greeted with a boyish grin, his voice deeper, more controlled. The bad boy persona he used to carry was completely gone. 
“Sukuna,” you replied, struggling to keep your voice steady, a complete opposite from his confidence.
There was a moment of awkward silence before he spoke again. “You look great.”
“Thanks,” you meekly replied, clearing your throat and gesturing to his uniform, “You, too. Military suits you. I never saw that coming.”
He smiled in agreement, seemingly happy about his current appearance. You had never seen this kind of bliss from him before, like he was filled with content and a sense of self-worth. He was proud, and truth be told, you were, too. 
“It’s been a good change. It gave me structure, purpose,” he paused, taking a red cup from the kitchen island nearby, “I finally got something ‘better’ to do with my life, huh?”
You smiled softly, not missing the implication of his last statement. “I’m happy for you. Really.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course.” 
“Mhmm.” 
The minutes that followed were some of the most agonizing of your life, not because of Sukuna, but because of the overwhelming awkwardness that enveloped the two of you. It felt as though you had nothing else to discuss, knowing full well that delving into your shared past was a territory you could never comfortably navigate. However, Sukuna, always the more vocal one in your relationship, had finally broken the silence.
“Do you…” he began, leaving you on edge, anticipating his question, “Do you wanna get some fresh air outside?” 
Right. And with a smile, you nodded. “Sure.” 
— —
You were grateful for the opportunity to escape the stifling atmosphere of the party and find some solace in the cool night air. Both of you were at the front porch, sitting over the pavement talking about anything but your past. 
Sukuna excitedly talked about his time in the military, where you learned that he had enlisted two years ago and joined the army. After enlisting, he quickly excelled in the rigorous training required for the Special Operations Group (SOG). It didn’t surprise you that his physical prowess, sharp intellect, and determination made him a standout candidate.
“I actually completed advanced courses in counter-terrorism, reconnaissance, and combat survival,” he shared, his gaze set on the clear starry night above you. “Oh, and last month, I was deployed on a high-stake mission overseas. We extracted hostages from a conflict zone. Remember the action movies we used to watch? It was exactly like that. It was fun, thrilling.” 
You listened intently, an elbow propped on your leg as you absorbed the enthusiasm in his stories. Pride and joy swelled in your heart as you heard him talk about something he was passionate about, because it was a stark contrast to the old Sukuna who wouldn’t have shown interest in these things. And this time around, you felt like you were infatuated again, but with the new him. 
“I’m really proud of you.” Longingness dripping from your voice. “Very proud. And you’re First Lieutenant, too? Wow.” 
The compliment seemingly made him blush, a sight so rare to see that you haven’t seen it throughout your relationship. “I wanted to become a better man.” 
You felt a squeeze in your heart. You recalled the words he said that night at the parking lot, of him telling you that he had his own insecurities, too. That he knew all along that your uncertainties about him were rooting from his way of life. That he was aware that he couldn’t give you the life you deserved. 
“Y/N.” Your name rolled off his tongue in an affectionate manner. He soon rose from his seat, prompting you to follow suit, before turning to face you. “I forgot to mention.”
You swallowed hard. “Yeah?”
His smile was sweet and genuine. “I’m engaged now.”
Oh.
Of course. 
What did you expect?
His words settled in your heart like a suffocating shroud. Despite the ache in your chest, you managed a polite nod, concealing the storm of emotions swirling inside you. But you couldn’t contain it—the damn tears that pooled in your eyes. Please, not now. You turned away, hoping to shield your reaction from him.
But it was all too late. 
He was already pulling you into an embrace, the familiarity in his warmth only making you weaker inside. “You are and will always be my greatest love,” he whispered into your ear, pressing his lips against your temple, “And also my biggest regret.”
Damn it. You covered your face with your hands, feeling ashamed of the tears streaming down your cheeks. What an absurd twist of fate. You could have gone about your day without encountering him again, yet here you were, shedding tears over the same man who had broken your heart two years ago.
“When I say regret,” he continued, cupping your cheeks and smiling at you lovingly. He ran his thumb across your cheeks, wiping your tears away. “I meant regret of not being that man for you. I didn’t treat you the way you deserved, or respected your boundaries like I thought I did.” Sukuna’s charm had you holding your breath still, too enamored by his beauty under the moonlight. He used to be a man of a few words, and now he didn’t shy away from pouring out his raw emotions. “I’m sorry I was two years too late. I’m sorry I had to let you go and be with someone else. But you and I know that it’s for the best.”
You weren’t crying because you wanted to get back together with him. You weren’t crying because he had promised marriage to someone else. You were crying because it felt like he was the one who slipped through your fingers, the one that got away, the one who could have been your forever if circumstances had aligned differently. It was the regret of a lost possibility, the ache of knowing that in another universe, you and him could have shared a lifetime together, untouched by the mistakes of the past.
He had dreams of making you his wife, dreams of having your children, dreams of growing old with you.
But the old Sukuna was dead, replaced by the new Sukuna who was happy and free from love’s toxicity. You realized it was time to let go. Time to bury the past and instead celebrate the future. 
“Congratulations on the engagement,” you offered your well wishes, pulling away slightly to meet his gaze with your tear-filled eyes. “I hope she doesn’t find you a handful.”
He let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “No, no. I have to behave or else I’m a dead man,” he joked. “She's in the army, too.”
“Well, I’m glad you met her, Sukuna. You deserve it,” you said, your voice filled with genuine warmth as you wiped your lachrymose eyes. 
Gratitude and comfort shone in his gaze. “And I’m glad you found your peace, Y/N. You always deserved better.”
You smiled in appreciation of his words as he helped you dust off your pants. Just then, your phone buzzed in your pocket, briefly taking your attention away from the current scene. “Uh, I think I need to go,” you hesitated, glancing back at the house. “But I think Yuki’s pretty busy.”
“It’s fine,” he assured. “Do you want me to call you a cab or?”
“No, it’s okay,” you replied, shooting him a grateful expression. “Satoru’s on his way to pick me up.”
He nodded, smiling. “Cool.” You were surprised when he offered his hand, a gesture to finally close whatever remained between you two. “It was nice seeing you, Y/N.”
You shook his hand and gave him a playful salute. “Likewise, First Lieutenant Ryomen Sukuna.”
As he returned to the party, immediately attacked by his friends, there was no hint of yearning or longing in him, as if the poignant exchange with his ex-girlfriend had never occurred. He was back in the scene in a fluid motion, laughing, catching up with his loved ones, telling stories about his life. No heartbreaks, no painful memories.
While as you stood there, knowing you had shared respect and love for each other, you were happy that there was a sense of closure in seeing Sukuna as the man he had become. You had both grown, both changed, and in that moment, you knew that your story, though painful, had led you two to where you needed to be. 
That your love’s canvas, once blank, now held colors to complete the portrait.
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yuujispinkhair · 3 days
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sukuna who's over heels with y/n, but y/n is stupidly in love with yuuji who is falling in love with megumi?!
Omggg I love this!!!! Thank you for sending me this 💗
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Modern!Sukuna x Reader (female)
Fluff. Hurt & Comfort. Friends to lovers. 2k words. Unrequited love/pining in the beginning. Sukuna and Reader get their happy end (Yuuji gets his happy end with Megumi). Mentions of cigarettes + alcohol. All characters are of age. Minors don't interact. Divider @/benkeibear
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Sukuna can only shake his head at the irony. He is in love. He is fucking in love for the first time in his life, and of course, it has to be someone he cannot have! Out of everyone at this stupid college, it has to be the girl who likes his brother!
If it were any other guy, Sukuna wouldn't give a fuck and just flirt like hell with the girl he wants and give his best to steal her away from that other guy. But the problem is that Itadori Sukuna might be an asshole, but he isn't the type of asshole that would steal his brother's girl.
So Sukuna swallows down his heartbreak and forces himself to hold back, refusing to stand in the way of his baby brother's happiness. Sukuna might only be three minutes older, but he is still the big bro, still the one who sees it as his responsibility to look after his "little" brother. And Yuuji deserves it. He deserves a girl like you. He deserves your love. Sukuna will stay strong. He can do it.
But what Sukuna didn't take into account is how completely oblivious his brother is to your feelings.
You follow Yuuji around like a lost puppy, giving him hearteyes, practically swooning anytime he smiles his sunshine smile, hanging on his lips when he talks about his movie-directing classes and his new favorite TV show. But Yuuji doesn't seem to notice. And it makes Sukuna so mad! It drives him crazy! He almost spits his drink out when his brother gives you a high five and calls you "bro".
Sukuna feels sick to his stomach when he watches you wring your hands and shyly ask Yuuji if he maybe wants to go to the cinema with you to see the newest Human Earthworm movie. That super trashy horror series that Yuuji is always gushing about, which Sukuna is 99% sure you don't really like but only want to endure for the boy you have a big crush on.
But Sukuna's oblivious idiot of a brother just laughs and nods, happy that someone shares his taste, and totally misses the point,
"Yes, that's perfect! Let's also ask Megumi and Nobara to join us! Let's all go together! It will be so much fun!"
Sukuna thinks he can not only feel his own heart ache but also yours as he sees your face fall even while you force yourself to nod bravely and smile a sad smile at Yuuji.
It takes everything in Sukuna not to say something. But his restraint only lasts until he is alone with his brother. The moment the others have left, he shoves Yuuji into the wall, grabs his collar, and growls at him,
"You are so fucking dumb, brat! I would give anything to be in your shoes, but you don't even see that she wants you!"
And Yuuji blinks at him, all big eyes and completely confused,
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
Sukuna lets go of Yuuji, slumping against the wall next to him, sighing and explaining the situation to him. How Sukuna likes you, and how you like Yuuji, and how everything is such a mess, and how much he hates it, especially when his little brother is too blind to see what he could have!
"Now you know, brat. Go, get her. Just don't rub it in my face, ok? I'll stay away as much as possible."
Sukuna pushes himself off the wall, about to run away and hide in some dark corner or maybe find someone to fuck and distract him from all this shit. But to his utter surprise, Yuuji's hand darts out and grabs Sukuna's sleeve.
"Wait, Kuna! I don't even have those kinds of feelings for her! There is... um... well, there is actually someone else I like."
He stands there, scratching his neck, looking sheepishly at Sukuna and blushing a bit as Sukuna stares at him with question marks in his eyes.
"Who??"
"Um, he has black hair and likes dogs and... ah shit."
And Sukuna can't help it. He bursts out laughing, doubling over because this is just so fucking dumb and messy and getting more complicated every second, and he probably should have known!
"Damn, brat, that really sounds like you! Falling for your best friend!"
In the end, Sukuna plays matchmaker for Yuuji and Megumi. It's easy, considering the way Fushiguro has been looking at Yuuji since the first day he met him. And yeah, Sukuna is not only doing it because he loves his baby brother but also because of selfish reasons. Because it means you will have to let go of your crush on Yuuji. Not that Sukuna thinks you will turn to him, but at least he won't have to watch you date his brother and pretend he doesn't care!
It feels like someone is stabbing Sukuna's heart when he watches your face twist in pain at the next party when you see Yuuji walking into the room with Megumi's hand in his.
But it will be fine! After all, Sukuna is here to catch you and mend your broken heart again. As a friend, at least.
He quickly follows you when you leave the room and run towards the backyard. You sit down on the slightly damp grass, and Sukuna joins you, sitting silently next to you while tears run down your cheeks. Sukuna offers you his half-smoked cigarette, and when your eyes meet, he can't help but think that surely you must see the pain in his eyes, too.
He quickly takes a sip from the bottle he is holding to hide the emotions threatening to swallow him while silently cursing himself for following you out here. He misjudged how fucking hard it is to look at you when you are crying. If only Sukuna could just close the distance between you and claim you as his, just kiss all your pain and his pain away.
But of course, he knows it would be too soon. For once in his life, Sukuna doesn't just want to be a one-night stand or a rebound or a revenge fuck or whatever. For once in his life, he wants more. He wants everything.
And so Sukuna is patient. Just offers you his silent company, his cigarette, his bottle of vodka, and his leather jacket when it gets chilly, and you start to shiver. He offers you his friendship, his protection, and the kind of comfort he can give without fucking you. He drives you home, makes sure you have something to eat and get some sleep.
He bangs on your door three days later when you still haven't come back to campus, calling you a brat and an idiot because it's the only way he knows how to show his worry. But he hopes he's making it better by shoving a vanilla latte and a bag with muffins from your favorite coffee shop into your hands.
Your eyes look puffy from crying, and you seem confused about what he is doing here, but you take the food and coffee from him. And Sukuna smirks at you and refuses to leave when you tell him you look like hell and don't want him to see you like that.
"I don't care, princess. Eat those damn muffins and drink your latte before it gets cold. I didn't stand in line for half an hour for you to just ignore my treats. And by the way, you always look pretty to me."
He stays until you had breakfast and took a shower, coming back to the living area with a soft,
"Thank you, Sukuna. It was nice of you to bring me muffins and coffee."
Sukuna finally leaves, lifting one tattooed hand to casually wave at you as if his heart isn't about to burst because he wants to pull you against his chest and hold you and tell you he can make you happy again.
He skips some of his classes and instead goes to the gym, working out like a madman and beating up a punching bag until he is too exhausted to think about how sad you looked and how fucking much he wants to kiss it better.
He comes back the next day to pick you up and take you to the coffee shop with him, making sure you leave the house and join the living again! It cannot be that you are crying your eyes out in your room all day!
"Stop complaining and get your bratty ass off the couch! It will be good for you to get some fresh air and shit. I am warning you if you don't put on shoes in the next 30 seconds, I will make you walk to the coffee shop in socks!"
Oh yes, Sukuna is good at this. Acting grumpy and playing the asshole while taking care of you and making sure you are ok. And somehow, you are the only one, apart from his brother, who can see right through him because you roll your eyes and laugh softly and tell him that he is the nicest asshole you have ever met.
The two of you fall into a routine where Sukuna picks you up every morning and has breakfast with you before he walks you to your first class. You constantly grow closer, and Sukuna feels his mask slipping more often around you. His typical arrogant smirk softens into a genuine smile. His snide comments turn into compliments. He isn't sure if he is doing it by accident or intentionally. Maybe he is only reacting to the way you act around him.
Because your gaze doesn't follow his brother anymore. Your face doesn't fall when you see Yuuji with Megumi. Your smile doesn't falter when you spot pink hair and realize it's the bad boy twin with the tattoos and not the good boy twin with the sunshine smile. Sukuna even feels like your smile is growing brighter when you look at him.
Could it be?
And he notices more things. Notices how you always sit so close to him now when he is at your dorm and you play video games against each other. How you always laugh at his jokes, no matter how sarcastic they are. Or how you look at him sometimes when you think he doesn't realize it. How your eyes get that dreamy little sparkle when Sukuna is sleepy, and his voice gets low and a bit raspy. How you get goosebumps on your arms when Sukuna puts his hands on your hips to steer you through a crowded room.
A few weeks later, Sukuna finds himself back at the same spot where all those weeks ago, it all began. Sitting next to you in the grass in the small backyard of your friend's dorm, where you cried when Yuuji broke your heart.
But tonight, you aren't crying. Tonight, you are smiling and throwing your head back, laughing at some dry joke Sukuna makes, looking so carefree and happy. Your shoulder is brushing against Sukuna's biceps, and your hand lands on his thigh, giving it a playful smack and staying just a little too long. And Sukuna can't help but say in that low voice, you seem to like so much,
"You are so beautiful."
For a split second, he feels his chest tense up, scared that he fucked everything up. Scared that he got it wrong and you still want his brother. Or maybe some other guy. Scared that you only see Sukuna as a good friend. Or that you only see him the way the whole campus sees him: as that sexy, asshole guy who is only good for casual sex and nothing more.
But then you turn your head to look at him, and Sukuna sees that soft expression in your eyes, the one he used to see on your face when you looked at his brother. But now it is for him, for Sukuna. And he simply knows without you having to spell it out. He knows that things have truly changed.
So, Sukuna decides to do what he wanted to do for a long time.
"I am sorry that you cried the last time we were in this backyard. But I am not sorry for why it happened. My brother is an idiot for not wanting you like that. But I am glad he is an idiot because otherwise, I wouldn't be able to do this..."
And Sukuna puts a hand under your chin, cupping it with a gentleness he didn't know he possessed while looking deeply into your eyes, checking one last time if he really got it right. You look at him with wide eyes, but you smile and nod softly as your gaze travels down to his lips.
And Sukuna sighs and presses his lips gently against yours, kissing you like he never kissed someone before, slow and gentle, as if he is scared you will break or slip through his fingers. A kiss with his eyes closed and his chest filling with a warmth he didn't know until now. A kiss into which Sukuna pours all the secret longing he felt for you for months, all the feelings he tried to hold back for his brother's sake and then for the sake of not fucking things up.
But finally, he doesn't have to hold back anymore. Because you chose him. You chose Sukuna. You are sitting here with him, with your hand in his hair and your lips moving slowly against his, a happy sigh and a soft murmur of his name falling from your lips.
The two of you only stop kissing when Sukuna's head is already spinning from the lack of oxygen. He pulls away only enough to grin at you and stroke your cheek with his thumb. And you smile back at him and whisper,
"I am glad, too, that Yuuji turned me down. Because otherwise I wouldn't have found out that it's his brother who is my perfect match. I wouldn't have found out that you, Itadori Sukuna, are the one I like the most out of everyone."
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AAAHHH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 😭😭 Thank you so much for sending me this ask. I see Sukuna + unrequited love/pining and I lose my mind!! It's my weakness and makes me so so soft for him (even more than usual).
I hope you liked this little hurt/comfort story!! Comments and reblogs would be very sweet 💗
754 notes · View notes
marlenesluv · 2 days
Note
Ooooo what about reader who is dating Charles and keeps posting thirst traps on insta in a vintage Ferrari jacket and not much else, all because she misses him
Tease. (CL)
don’t mind me, just fainting bc i love this so much. sorry this took a bit for me to get to, i hope you like it!!
pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader
warnings: suggestive pics/comments, cussing
masterlist here -> masterlist link
^ check my list for all posts! ^
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liked by: charles_leclerc, carmenmmundt, and 781,450 others
y/n.user: supporting char from monaco this weekend bc of work, but i’ll be wearing ferrari gear 24/7 ❤️
view comments…
charles_leclerc: ma chéri you’re killing me
↳ y/n.user: miss you too
f1wags: babes woke up this morning and chose to slay
y/nfp16: hello?? the first pic is going to drive charles crazy fr
user1: fav couple on the paddock
isahernaez: bonitaaaa
*liked by creator*
cl16ycs55: we all know isa took these and encouraged them
↳ y/n.user: obv
user6: i fear she ate, guys
ferrarifp4: we love a supportive gf
f1updates: update of the day: mother slays again
charles16edits: bro is gonna make that first one his wallpaper
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
texts with charles:
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.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
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liked by: charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes, and 801,174 others
y/n.user: good morning☀️☕️
view comments…
f1wags: charles has to be screaming today before quali
charles_leclerc: baise chérie
y/n.user: bébé?
author: charles “fuck babe” you “babe?”
user2: charles on his phone rn before quali like 🥵📱
isahernaez: stunningggg🔥🔥🔥
*liked by creator*
cl16.cs55: WOAH ferrari wags are top tier
user5: the pictures omggggggg y/n ur killing us
landonorris: help me bleach my eyes. THE BLEACH!!! get the BLEACH😭
y/n.user: drama queen over here
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
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liked by: y/n.user, carlossainz55, and 1,248,035 others
charles_leclerc: p2 in qualifying for singapore❤️🇸🇬 missing my girl back home. be back soon with a trophy😘
view comments…
y/n.user: just bring yourself, a trophy is fine too ig❤️
charles_leclerc: ❤️😘
user7: the text from y/n😭🥹
f1wags: THEM YOUR HONOR😭😭
scuderiaferrari: ✊
editz4chary/n: my otppp
y/nfp16: the real question is how is charles dealing with the pictures y/n is posting 🤭
formula1page3: p2 ➡️ p1
joris_trouche: bravo👏👏
*liked by creator*
paddockfits_f1wags: missing y/n in the paddock this week😔🫶
user9: the second pictures goes so hard
carlossainz55: vamossss🔥
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
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liked by: charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 998,145 others
y/n.user: today outfit, todays coffee mug, and todays winner❤️ (congrats on p1 baby, come home for ur present)
view comments…
danielricciardo: #aftaidtoaskwhatthepresentis
landonorris: #sex?
carlossainz55: #pancakes
charles_leclerc: #prollysex
landonorris: #ewgtfo
charles_leclerc: #noyou
f1wags: MISSED YOU ON TV, QUEEN
user3: the fit is giving
ferrariwags1655: wwwoooooaaaahhhhh🥵
isahernaez: come back to the paddock i miss you
lilymhe: stunning❤️
cl16: WOOO A CHARLES WIN ❤️🔥❤️‍🔥
user4: the mug is super slay girl
f1editspg: can’t wait for his next win❗️🏎️
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
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liked by: charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes, and 994,284 others
y/n.user: he’s home☺️❤️
view comments…
*creator has limited comments on this post*
charles_leclerc: amour❤️
*liked by creator*
francisca.cgomes: cutiesss🥹 let’s get lunch soon!! you, me, pierre, and charles!
y/n.user: yesss🫶
danielricciardo: finally, we can stop seeing these thirst trap pictures only meant for charles when we open instagram🙏
charles_leclerc: why would you look at them????
danielricciardo: WHAT!??? WHY DID SHE POST THEM?
y/n.user: for charles :(
charles_leclerc: you’re making her sad now
danielricciardo: 🤦‍♂️
isahernaez: the shirt❤️❤️so cute!! i need one!
y/n.user: sending you the link rn!❤️
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
charles instagram story:
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seen by: y/n.user, carlossainz55, and 1,372,738 others
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)
475 notes · View notes
waldau · 2 days
Text
how they take care of you — seventeen | 2,531 words | hurt/comfort, fluff
i didn't know i liked writing ot13 this much!
gender neutral reader. warnings: reader is stressed out/tired/scared/ill/sad? y'know, the usual spectrum of negative human emotions?
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seungcheol
gets so concerned when he hears a hitch in your voice when you greet him that he drops whatever he’s doing and rushes to you. doesn’t matter if he’s on a call or if he’s doing some important paperwork, he’s all yours now.
gives you a big, comforting hug that tries to shield you from everything but him. kisses your head to try and ground you.
doesn’t make you talk if you don’t want to, but he insists that you don’t keep it in for too long because it’s only going to hurt you in the end. lasts only for a while before asking if there's someone that needs some talking to for making you feel this sad.
tries to do anything in his power to see you smile, even if it's momentary. shows you a funny picture of his favourite child (mingyu) to cheer you up. asks if you feel okay enough to walk kkuma with him, because she needs some time with her other favourite person (you).
“you know i love you, right? that's never changing.”
jeonghan
is proud to be the person that becomes your comfort when something doesn’t go right, or when you’ve had a bad day.
immediately bottles up any jokes he’s about to make and wipes away your tears, stops only when you bat his hands away. even if he doesn’t want to let go of you, he respects your boundaries.
when you're feeling a bit better, he pulls you down into the sofa and cuddles with you, and is content whether you choose to tell him what’s on your mind, or if you want to be silent and fiddle with his shirt instead.
kisses your forehead and looks into your eyes when he promises you that it’s just one bad day, and that he’s always here for all the others. links pinkies with you because he knows how much it means to you, even if it may seem childish.
will resort to tickling you to make the last traces of your sadness vanish, and asks if there’s anything else he can do to make you smile.
joshua
comes to pick you up from work because he has a free day, and realizes something’s wrong the moment you greet him hello without even looking at his face for more than two seconds.
doesn’t make a big deal out of it, though. takes your stuff from you and greets you softly. opens the door for you and buckles your seat belt. asks you if it’s okay that he’s not taking you home first, because there’s some place else he wants to take you.
dismisses any concerns you have about not looking “good enough” to go out, because you look absolutely gorgeous at any time of the day, and he’d never lie about something like this to you. lets you choose whatever music you want as he weaves through the traffic on the streets, telling you about his day.
parks the car and gets out to hold your hand in his as he guides you over to the many stalls, asking you to pick whatever you want to eat. sits next to you on one of the benches overlooking the river, your legs swinging as you lean into his side and enjoy your meal. is glad he could take care of you like this because you needed it.
“trust me when i say whatever happened is not your fault, okay, sweetheart?”
junhui
is more confident in his actions than his words, because he can immediately notice the little changes in your behaviour: your tired smile, and the way you’re kind of curled in on yourself, as if trying to take up less space.
gives you a long hug with lots of cheek kisses and pulls you into the kitchen to show you what he’s working on: a dish that coincidentally happens to be your comfort food. it’s your favourite, especially when jun makes it in his own style.
this six foot man becomes small as he tries to do anything to make you smile. hates that you’re even feeling this way. throws random pickup lines at you to see which one gets you to crack and slap his arm and tell him to stop (he won’t, because he loves you too much).
offers to feed you dinner once it’s ready and makes random airplane noises that bring out a giggle from you. watches as you eat slowly and is glad when he sees your bowl is empty. doesn’t resist your offer of feeding him dinner once you’re done.
hides under the blankets with you and watches cat videos till your eyes shut from exhaustion and his arm hurts from holding up the phone from so long. cuddles with you and doesn’t let go even when you halfheartedly complain about how warm it is.
soonyoung
becomes so gentle that it pulls you out of your dullness a bit, makes you wonder where your usually hyperactive boyfriend is.
doesn’t baby you because he knows you don’t like it, but he makes sure you get everything you need. calls his mother to ask her the exact recipe for this soup she used to feed him when he used to get ill. stays by your side even when you have a raging fever and you’re worried he’s going to catch it if he kisses your cheek one more time.
doesn’t complain even once when you wake him up because of how uncomfortable you’re feeling. what else is he there for, if he can’t take care of the person he loves the most? wraps himself along with you in your blanket even if it’s hot enough that he can just melt.
is your hype man when you finally get better enough to start moving around the house by yourself. watches you with the biggest smile on his face that he will not tamp down when he sees you eating the soup he made, and almost cries with joy when you ask him for a second serving.
doesn’t blame you one bit when he catches the same bug a week later, because you’re there to take care of him through it, and because he loves you too much for it to be an issue.
wonwoo
gently pulls you into his chest the moment he sees your tear-streaked cheeks, and rests his head on yours. doesn’t ask you what’s wrong because he feels it’s more important to make you feel better.
doesn’t care that your tears are leaving behind a spot on his shirt, and shushes you for even pointing it out. in fact he wants you to do that so that you can run out of tears and he can take care of you properly.
gives you his hoodie to wear because it’s oversized on you, and he loves seeing you in it just as much as you love wearing it.
makes you wrap your arms around his waist from behind and cling onto him while he goes about the house finishing his share of chores. does yours without asking if he senses you’re too drained out to do them.
absolutely needs you by his side regardless of what he’s doing, whether it’s playing a game or brushing his teeth. offers to read you a book if you’re having trouble falling asleep. tells you he loves you in the lowest voice possible when he sees you finally asleep against his chest, breathing evened out.
jihoon
might not very verbal, but when it comes to you, he knows exactly what to do to make things better.
knows you’re in his studio when the door shuts, but you don’t greet him. decides to finish some edits on the song he’s working on before he turns to you, only to find you lying on the sofa facing away from him.
genuinely sad to hear you had a bad day. he got through today only because of all the encouraging texts you sent him. decides the least he can do is return the favour.
wraps you in your favourite blanket that he always keeps at the studio for when you visit. holds your hand regardless of whether you want to talk or not. offers to order food to the studio so that he can make sure you’re not hungry.
very thankful that you came to him because you were feeling down, and he very much wants to call it a day and take you home so that he can cuddle with you and make your day just a bit better.
seokmin
his mood almost always mirrors yours, so when he sees you so exhausted and down, his heart genuinely hurts.
not a confrontational person, but he’s willing to fight whatever made you sad, even if it was a table you stubbed your toe on. happy that it brings a smile to your face even if he didn’t actually fight anything.
have you seen his arms? wraps them around you till you push him off with a bit of a smile on your face. he then decides he wants to use them to bake something for you. you’re the better baker between the two of you and since he’s got loads of time today, he decides he wants to learn something that he can make the next time you’re away and he doesn’t have to feel that lonely.
is your own personal jukebox. belts out whatever song you want, and does a mini infinite aju nice in the comfort of your kitchen, making you jump while the oven works, till you’re tired and actually smiling.
“it’ll be okay, i promise. i love you.”
mingyu
hates that you had a nightmare but is thankful that he was sleeping right next to you when it happened.
the biggest cuddle bug you’ll ever see you in your life. when you wake him up with a shaky voice, he immediately blinks out of his sleep and holds you in his arms. he’ll hug you and keep hugging you till he can drain your sadness even just a little.
doesn’t matter how late it is; if you can’t go back to sleep, he’ll pull you to the kitchen and make his ramen just for you. makes you help him chop some ingredients and stir the broth so that you feel involved. keeps purposely bumping into you every time you cross paths and takes a kiss as payment.
finds some cheesy, slow music to dance to and gently pulls you all over the kitchen, twirling you and even bending you as the song ends. loves hearing your laugh when he pulls you back up.
“i hope you dream of me when you sleep again. i love you.”
minghao
words aren’t necessary when he can just take care of you the way you always deserve to be taken care of.
actually gets upset (a little) when you apologize for crying in front of him. who else will make you feel better when you’re down if not for him? makes you promise never to feel nervous to be emotional around him.
runs a bath for you and makes your favourite food. when you’re done with dinner and feeling a bit better, he takes you to bed and cuddles with you, wanting you to focus on his breathing so you can calm yourself. he whispers endearments into your ear. also makes sure you know how proud he is of you for getting through today.
would give you the entire world if he could, but when you tell him the only thing you want is him, he promises you he’s never going anywhere, no matter what happens.
“i’m so lucky to call myself yours, my love. always.”
seungkwan
he can never stand seeing his loved ones sad, so when he sees you, he needs to find a way to make your smile get back to your face.
sees your lips wobble when you say hello to him, and he eventually coaxes the issue out of you: your friends had ditched a get-together you’d been planning at the last minute, and they didn’t even have the decency to apologize for it. he feels extremely angry on your behalf and is ready to curse. doesn’t do it only because it won’t help you.
thinks about what he can do to make you happy. asks if he can take you out on a drive tonight so you can watch the stars with him. when you regretfully decline the offer, he asks if you want to create a blanket fort and watch movies or go to sleep.
it’s not long before he’s constructing a blanket fort for the first time in his life thanks to some youtube tutorials. he’s upset when it collapses right in the middle of constructing it, but he realizes he’d build it a hundred times more if it meant you’d laugh the way you just did.
sets up snacks and your favourite drinks after a while. keeps apologizing to you on behalf of your so-called friends till you tell him to stop. promises that he’s always going to be with you, and that you don’t have to be sad when you’re with him. falls asleep with you in his arms, and a smile on your face, snacks and movies forgotten.
hansol
feels bad the moment he sees you try to mask the sadness on your face with a smile.
better with actions than words, so he kisses your forehead and trails you around the house while you try to relax from the day you had. if you’re really sad, he lets you just rest your head against his collarbone and breathe till you feel better.
“you’ve got this, and you’ve got me, okay? i’m right here.”
has a bunch of handmade coupons for whenever you feel sad. each coupon has the same four options: eat, talk, watch a movie, sleep. does whatever you choose, whether it’s only one or all four.
another one who has no problem with prolonged eye contact. he looks at you till you understand that he loves you more than he can say and that he’s always there for you when you feel like this.
chan
always used to being babied by his older brothers, so he feels happy to get a chance to take care of you. just doesn’t like the fact that you’re sad, because you deserve to be anything but.
very transparent with his affection for you. he whispers “i love you” into your hair when you ask him for a hug, shouts it across the living room when you come out to get some water, and holds your hand under the table during dinner even if it’s inconvenient.
if you’re really down, and don’t feel like talking, he bundles you into a blanket and puts you on the sofa and sits close to you, so that you have your space but he’s close enough if you need him.
sits with you while you work and watches intently even if he doesn’t understand much of what you’re doing. ready to go to the store and get you anything you’re craving, regardless of how late it is.
“i love looking after you, okay? don’t ever feel bad about telling me what’s troubling you.”
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taglist: @bookyeom @wootify @strnsvt @cloudycaramel @thepoopdokyeomtouched
@minnieminshi @nonononranghaee @hrts4hanniehae @viewvuu @bewoyewo
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gay-dorito-dust · 3 days
Note
Hey! How are you?
May I request how the batboys would react to reader losing their job unfairly? I just lost my job for no reason after only working there for 2 weeks. I could really use some comfort rn 😭😭
Sweetheart, I know your pain in loosing a job unfairly, I’ve been there before and funnily enough they’re suffering to this day with ppl wanting to leave and or leaving. Karma is truly a bitch. I’m sending all the virtual hugs I can.
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Jason
Livid isn’t even close in describing how he felt upon hearing the news but it was the closest word for how he was feeling right now. The fact that you had been let go and unfairly too after a short period of time was enough to make his blood boil.
No explanation just ‘yeah we’re letting you go for no real reason cuz we’re tight fisted cunts who can’t be bothered with bettering ourselves for our staff, and would much rather let them go without prior warning because we’re just that shitty of an employment.’
In Jason’s opinion you were the only one who actually knew how to do to do your job and will remind you of this constantly because it was the truth. You worked your ass off at that place and this was the thanks you get? Fuck that!
Jason was more then ready to let the piece of shit who made the call to drop you have a piece of his mind but you had to calm him down and tell him it wasn’t worth the anger and frustration. However to Jason it was more than worth the anger and frustration, his sweetheart lost their job because of some fucking corporate lapdog!
‘They fucked up babe, big time. They lost one of their best and I hope they fucking go bankrupt and loose everything they’re worth because of it.’ Jason would tell you as he presses kisses against your head as you played with his fingers before intertwining them with yours.
‘I hope so too.’ You muttered against his chest and Jason could only tighten his hold on you as he continued to shower you in praise, kisses and utter adoration in hopes of ridding the god awful taste that place left in your mouth and your self esteem. Jason’s as about to let you drown because of them, he’d gladly keep you afloat however he can because you deserve it and so much more than they ever gave you in two weeks.
Dick
‘They’ve lost out on the best thing going sweetheart, they’ll come to regret it sooner or later but you’ll be in a better position when they do.’ He’d whisper reassuringly as he held you close to his chest, his heart breaking when hearing your sobs.
He hated how affected you were by their decision and he hated how powerless he was to stop you from getting hurt by stupid employments like this one. They obviously didn’t see what he saw in you and that was their loss and his gain. You were dedicated, loyal, hardworking but apparently that wasn’t enough for them and so without much thought they dropped you.
So Dick, with the help of Hayley, would try his best to provide you with happier times to drown out the pain that came with reminiscing the shittier times.
They would try their hardest to make you cry tears of joy rather then sadness from their goofiness alone as both Dick and Hayley would rather see you happy then sulk over the decisions of some stupid employment. They -the employment- fucked up with you and Dick wasn’t about to let it be your problem to deal with alone because it wasn’t your problem to deal with in the first place. It was theirs.
So you spent the rest of your days with Dick trying his best in making you happy and smile more then you’ve ever have, that place was poison for you and he’ll try and be your antidote.
Tim would absolutely do everything in his power to ruin your old workplaces reputation out of sheer pettiness, whether it be digging up some dark/ shady stuff that they’ve tried sweeping under the rug or spreading their tendencies to mistreat their staff on a daily basis, Tim would single-handedly destroy their reputation by leaving it in complete shambles.
He was smart enough to do so and could do so if you were to ever say the word, he was more then ready with documents filled with evidence to back up his claims, all he needed was you to give him the go ahead.
Tim could be petty but his petty was unlike anyone else’s and could cause mass damage to corporate assholes, especially those who thought it was completely justifiable to release someone after two weeks of working there.
Give him 5 minutes and the workplace will have collapsed from the information he had released to the general public. That’ll teach them a lesson for certain for messing with you.
However you didn’t want him to get into any trouble because of you and would much rather cuddle with him in bed as you watched a movie on his laptop in your pj’s as you both shared some ice cream. That’s all you needed and Tim was more than willing to comply as he told you how stupid of a decision it was of them to let you go, they were only shooting themselves in the foot and digging their grave simultaneously.
295 notes · View notes
actuallysaiyan · 1 day
Text
The Beast Inside Of Me(Incubus!Nanami Kento x Fem!Reader)
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warnings: smut, unprotected sex, AU, Incubus, demons, slight dub-con, oral(fem receiving), slight yandere vibes, creampie finish, mentions of passing out/fainting, vaginal fingering word count: 3.2k pairings: Incubus!Nanami Kento x Fem!Reader summary: Kento has been searching for his mate for a long time, and he finds out it's you. Incubi don't usually mate with humans, so he's desperate to make it work. a/n: not sure if it's the demon who possessed me or the Earthbound OST that made me write this, but here it is and I realllyyy hope you all enjoy!! Some dividers by @/benkeibear
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taglist: @beneathstarryskies @an-ever-angry-bi @namikyento
@seireiteihellbutterfly @adharadotcom @heyitsd1yaa
@darkstarlight82 @melisuh123. @galactict3a
@erebus-et-eigengrau @aomi04 @isabelzoldyck
@cinnamon-girl-writes @felixmr @typicalemo. @entirelysein-e
Want to be a part of the taglist? Join here!(Please have age indicator in bio!)
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You’ve seen that handsome face before. In your dreams, where you thought you were just imagining things. But now that you’re awake and looking at the man(or so you think)sitting on the edge of the bed, you aren’t sure if this is just another dream or figment of your imagination. When he looks over at you, he looks so incredibly sad. The sorrow in his features is so apparent, you feel the sadness deep inside you.
“Are you…” your own voice scares you. “Are you real?”
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He looks at you once more. His hazel eyes almost seem to glow in the darkness of your room. Then you see his wings expanding, creating an interesting shadowlike surrounding. Your eyes widen a little as he climbs out the window and you watch him fly away. You’re stunned by the sight.
Lying back on your bed, you try to calm your breathing. That was a dream, right? It had to have been. There aren’t handsome creatures with wings that just casually hang out in your room. That doesn’t happen. It really just doesn’t happen at all.
You pull the covers up to your chin, curling it in your fist. You think you’ll never be able to go to sleep again, but soon your eyes flutter shut and your mind is filled with the most pleasant dreams. 
When you wake up, you chalk it all up to some silly dream and being extremely tired. You go about your day like nothing happened. Meanwhile, the creature you saw in your bedroom is suffering in silence. He has finally found his human mate, which is you.
He’s suffering because he knows he could never court you properly. He’s suffering because he knows you would reject him if he were to approach you and explain the situation. He invades your dreams as much as possible because it’s the only way he’s able to see you and feel you and touch you and taste you…
Being alive for so long has its perks, but it also becomes so lonely. All the other incubi and succubi from his pack have already found their respective mates. And it’s a little rare for his kind to mate with a human. Kento wonders if he’s just destined to be alone forever. He feels that deep sorrow inside of himself. The same one that he felt when he realized it would take him a long time to find his mate.
Night after night, he’s been chasing after you like some lovesick puppy. He finds it so pathetic too. You could easily find someone better for yourself, and you don’t even know that someone like him is so deeply in love with you. Kento contents himself with just sitting on your bed and watching you sleep. Seeing him that night was a mistake and you shouldn’t have woken up.
The next night that he shows up, it’s only in your dreams.
The room feels hot and stuffy, but it’s pleasant. There’s a slight smell of a candle that’s been burning, and something like a cinnamon and nutmeg scent. It’s enticing and intoxicating. Your skin feels drenched with sweat. You try to open your eyes, but you’re feeling so sleepy and so tired.
“P-please,” you pant out.
Calloused hands caress you, removing the sheet that covers your naked body. You whine as you feel those same hands spreading your thighs. Soft touches from fingertips follow, creeping up your thighs. Then you let out a pathetic whimper when you feel something parting your soaked folds with expertise.
“Fuck,” you whine when you feel a wet, hot tongue pressing against your clit.
The feelings are intense. Your orgasm grows so fast, it hits you hard. You’re panting and moaning loudly, trying to grind against this tongue. But as soon as it appeared, faster did it disappear. 
You wake up the following morning wondering if that was truly real and with sheets that are still damp from your dreams. This time, you have a harder time chalking it up to a wet dream.
For Kento, he wishes he could keep the taste of you on his tongue forever. He’s never gone that far with you, but he’s very happy he did. He eagerly jerks himself off to the flavor on his tongue and the memory of your scent until it fades away. It makes him angry that he can’t have you committed to his memory forever.
So he gets a little more daring the next time he visits you. This time, it isn’t just a dream for you. It’s a real encounter with the demon himself.
He casts a deep slumber spell on you, but you are still reacting to everything he does. He takes his time to memorize you; tasting you heavily on his tongue as you gush. Orgasm after orgasm is pulled from you as Kento works your body with expertise. He knows what you like. He could probably bring you to orgasm with the smallest little nudge against your clit by now.
His eyes are glowing as he feasts on you. His cock is rock hard as he begins to rut against the bed. Nothing could be better than this. The room feels so hot and warm, but it only seems to add to your arousal and his. The smell of burning candle, cinnamon and nutmeg fill your senses, even while you sleep deeply.
Kento’s eyes roll back as he gets to taste your essence once more. If he could, he’d gladly drown in the flavor of you for all eternity. It’s not enough to keep visiting you in the dark of your bedroom at night. He needs you always. Now and forever.
So the night finally comes where he decides to see how you’ll react if he introduces himself to you. He sits on your bed, waiting for you to rouse from your sleep. When you do, you gasp softly at the creature at the foot of your bed. He leans closer, and you get a better look at him.
Sharp, angular features for such a beautiful man. Or…is he even really a man? He can’t be a man if he looks this good and has a tail and wings. He smiles softly, his cheeks lightly pink. 
“Have I frightened you?” He inquires, leaning in just a little closer.
Your senses are filled with the scent of burning candle, cinnamon and nutmeg. Your thoughts are filled with sensual memories. Something about this makes a throbbing sensation begin between your thighs.
“N-no.” You finally manage to answer. “Who are you?”
He smiles sweetly before reaching out to cup your chin. You get to look into his beautiful eyes. They shine so brilliantly for you. You don’t feel frightened at all, only confused and curious.
“My name is Kento,” his voice is so reassuring and soothing. “I am not here to hurt you.”
Something about that name makes your heart beat faster. You lean in closer to hear more of what he has to say. But instead of talking, he decides to kiss you. It’s so deep and passionate. He holds you close, his wings wrapping around you to keep you securely in his grasp.
“You are my beloved,” he finally whispers against your lips. “I have searched for you for a long time.”
Your eyes widen at the creature holding you. How could someone so beautiful have searched for you for so long? You feel so plain in comparison.
Almost as if he has read your thoughts, “You aren’t plain. You are the most beautiful thing on this earth and within every plane of existence.”
Your heart skips a beat at his words. Your cheeks are redder than a tomato. You aren’t sure how anyone could think this about you. Kento cradles your face in his hands, his thumbs caressing your cheeks. He looks at you like you are the stars in the sky, the colors of a rainbow, a beautiful masterpiece hung on the walls of an art museum.
“How precious you are to me,” he says softly. “I could not say it in words.”
You allow him to lay you down on the bed. His lips are attached to your neck; sucking, nipping, licking and biting. To get that sweet taste of you, he is quite desperate. Everything about you is both beautiful and extremely enticing. He could never get enough of you, even if he made love to you a million and one times.
His hands are calloused as he caresses your body. He slips your pajamas off of you slowly, tantalizingly so. His eyes keep gazing up at you, making sure you know just how much you are loved. He couldn’t be able to continue if he didn’t know for sure that you are indeed enjoying yourself.
The moment his fingers slip against your folds again, you feel that same arousal from the other night. It begins to truly dawn on you exactly what is going on. He’s been the one to pleasure you all these nights, even the ones where you were dreaming.
You pull him in for another kiss; this time it’s sloppy because of how hungry you are for him. He grunts against your lips, his fingers still working at your greedy pussy. But he loves that you’re getting into it. You’re desperate and needy for him, which makes him so happy and very aroused.
“It’s been you this entire time,” you whisper.
He nods. “Yes, does this please you?”
You can’t even begin to think of the right words to answer that question. So instead you reach down and feel his cock through the skin-tight underwear he’s wearing. He moans just for you and you love the sound. You love it so much, you wish to hear it forevermore.
Kento kisses you with a ravenous hunger now. The hunger that resides so deep inside of him as an Incubus is beginning to come to the surface. He needs to try and rein it in if he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you.
Tenderness returns to him as he takes a few deep breaths. He cannot show you the ugly side of him. It’s an animal, a beast that resides inside of him. It’s ugly and carnal and full of sin. And though he’s sure you’d still be able to find it in your angelic heart to forgive him if you were to see that side of him, he would hate himself forever if he were to harm you in any way.
“Please,” he moans softly. “Allow me to taste you once more.”
He spreads your thighs again, grunting when he sees just how soaked you are. You smell divine. Musky and yet so sweet. It makes his cock throb and painfully twitch. For an Incubus, he swears he’s falling into your trap instead of the other way around.
Your little heart pounds in your chest like the fluttering of the wings of a hummingbird. You reach down to push his hair out of his face, and this earns you another grunt from the man between your legs. You aren’t sure if he’s fully a man or he’s a beast, but either way you have come to accept him as your lover.
His tongue feels like warm silk against your folds. He licks a stripe from your hole to your clit, rendering you incapable of speech for a moment. You shudder from head to toe, and a small little gasp falls from your lips. You’re panting already and all he’s done is lick once.
“Oh, you’re so needy for me.” Kento purrs before he dives back into lapping at you.
Your toes curl as his mouth works you up to an exquisite orgasm. Your breath hitches in your throat as his mouth and tongue and lips stimulate you in all the ways only someone from your wildest dreams would be able to. As your body shudders and shakes, Kento grunts against your wet cunt. He’s hungry and growing hungrier by the moment. If he doesn’t pull away soon, you’ll see the beast inside of him.
Thankfully you tug on his hair to pull him away to avoid too much overstimulation. He looks up at you; his once hazel eyes have grown very dark. There’s a look on his gorgeous face that you can’t quite decipher. But soon, it begins to dissipate and you swear his pupils are in the shape of hearts just for you.
“My pretty lover,” he coos softly. “Please…” he swallows hard. “Please allow me the chance to make love to you. The privilege.”
Your eyes widen. How could he even be begging you? He was so beautiful, so handsome, so breathtaking. It should be the other way around. You should be the one begging for a chance to even look at him.
“I understand if you don’t want to tonight, or really if you didn’t want to engage at all, I just want to—”
He’s interrupted by you pulling him in for another kiss. It’s mostly to shut up his insecurities right now. But part of you wants to taste yourself on his tongue and his lips. He grunts as he adjusts himself in his underwear. Your hands reach down to begin tugging them off of his perfectly sculpted body.
“It would be my privilege to make love with you.”
Those words make his head swirl with arousal and lust. His eyes are dark once more. He nips at your bottom lip, making you squeak in pleasure. Kento parts your thighs even more so that he can place himself between them. His underwear is all but ripped off his body.
“Eager for me?” he teases you before kissing you. “I’m just as eager, if not more.”
You sigh as you feel his hands guiding your thighs to wrap around him. The heft of his cock rests on your mound. Kento uses his fingers to open you up, making you drip all over the sheets even more. Slowly pumping them in and out and in and out…
“Just like that,” he coaxes. “Just for me. Open up, my beautiful flower.”
His words go straight to your head, but also straight to your throbbing clit. You’re more than aroused and ready for him, but the fact that he wants to take such care of you, it turns you on even more. It takes no time for him to slip his fingers out and replace them with the tip of his cock.
“I’ll be gentle,” he whispers in your ear as he pushes more of himself into you. “And I’ll go slow.”
Slow is his pace. Gentle is his touch. You shudder as you feel him leisurely pushing into you. His eyes snap up and down from your face to your little hole trying to suck him in. His tail begins whipping in excitement. He knew it would feel good to finally be inside of you, but he’s having to take deep breaths once again to not lose control.
“My beloved,” he moans against your ear. “You feel heavenly.”
Your cunt spasms around him as he eventually bottoms out. His balls are plush against you and you finally get a sense of how pent up he is by how heavy his testicles feel. Your hands come around to rub his back as Kento starts up at a very loving and tender pace.
“Pretty, beautiful, exquisite…” he spouts off as he begins rocking his hips. “So warm, so wet.”
When you look into his eyes again, you see tears. He’s relieved but also so overwhelmed. He’s trying his best to hang on to the shred of sanity he has left. It’s so difficult when you keep squeezing and clenching around him. It’s all too much for him to keep going without losing a little control.
“Forgive me, beloved.”
You barely have time to comprehend what he means when he pushes your knees up to your chest. His hips begin to snap as he fucks into you harder, faster and deeper. Oh he is just so deep inside of you, you swear you can feel him in your throat. It’s all too much for you to even begin to understand. You cling to him as his cock rams into you over and over.
“Kento!” You gasp, trying to hold on.
He grunts and growls like a ferocious beast. Inside, he’s cursing himself for allowing himself to show you even just a fragment of who he truly is. His tail comes up to curl around one of your breasts. His head dips down to take the nipple into his mouth. He sucks on it harshly as he fucks deeper and harder into you.
“Need to fuck you,” he grunts. “Need to breed,”
His words are a bit of a shock, but you’ve been piecing parts of this together in your head this entire time. He, of course, is not a regular man. And the way he’s pumping into you now, you know it’s because something else is possessing him to do so.
Your legs begin to shake as his cock keeps pushing against that sweet spot deep inside of you. Stars speckle in your vision as your peak becomes imminent. It’s such a deep feeling inside of you. You can barely contain your moans, whimpers and sweet breathy whines. Kento tries to stop himself, but the more you squeeze around him, the less control he has.
“Going to breed you,” he growls. “You are mine.”
Every word is punctuated with a deep and harsh thrust. His balls rest plush against your ass every time he’s completely deep inside you. His eyes are growing darker. And the tail wrapped around your breast has now begun to tug a little bit on your nipple.
“May I…Can I…” He growls loudly. “Need to breed!”
It’s no longer a question. It’s a demand. A command for you. You are so willing to allow him this privilege. He never even told you the outcome of this coupling. You just wanted to soothe him and his needs, all while falling in love with this man; no, he’s no man. He’s a beast. A beast that you wish to tame.
“Cum,” you struggle to tell him. “Inside.”
He barely hears you, but something inside his brain clicks. It’s all that he needs to be sure that he is more than allowed to do this. Before either of you can register what’s happening, his tail wrapped around your breast squeezed harder. His wings come around the both of you, shielding you from the rest of the world.
With a loud roar, he begins emptying himself into your tight little hole. Shots of thick, potent cum spill deep inside of you. Kento reaches down to begin rubbing your clit in slow, tantalizing circles. A soft gasp escapes you as your orgasm hits you hard. Your legs are shaking and your heart is pounding harder than it ever has before.
You feel your vision beginning to tunnel…
You awaken several hours later. Your hole is sore and abused, dripping thick cum. You’re disoriented as you try to understand what is happening. Kento isn’t here, but his scent lingers on everything. You look at the nightstand and notice a bottle of water and a piece of paper folded in half. You take a drink of the water and then you unfold the paper. It’s a note from your otherworldly lover.
See you this evening. Same time as last night. Be prepared, my love. I have lots more to show you.
Xoxo,
Kento.
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fordaryl · 2 days
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Breathe.
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minors dni. spencer reid x fem!reader. angst (drowning). soft confessions. office sex.
after a brush with death, long pent-up feelings are released.
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do not translate or repost.
The small disused space was busy with piled boxes, an archiving chore put aside for an unspecified future day. It made the forgotten room a perfect meeting place when the office had cleared out for the night.
You saved it only for the especially hard days.
The days you needed to see him alone.
He knocks softly, like you aren't the only two left on the floor of the building at this late hour – like he doesn't know you're waiting just for him.
You wring the hem of your cardigan in your hands as he enters, as he closes the door gently behind him and twists the small lock – just to be safe.
Then you're both still. Quiet. Waiting for the other to speak first.
Your lips part. You'd planned to be the first to speak, but instead you suck in an unsteady breath. You're not in control. Not at all.
"That bad?" he asks, taking one big but hesitant step towards you.
Bad? Bad wasn't the right word. He'd meant it like you'd had a rough day in the office. Like you could sleep it off. Like it was just another heavy case and you'd come out a little worn but soon ready for the next.
He'd died.
Your eyes burn with unshed tears.
"Hey," he soothes, closing the distance between you. "I'm fine, really. Coughed up a bit of pool water, that's all. I've got the all clear," he offers you a lopsided smirk, "despite how bacteria ridden the average chlorinated pool is. I don't recommend drinking the water. If you can help it."
You blink up at him as one tear breaks free, spilling over your lower lid and down your cheek.
A complete lack of any minds eye spared you from the image of him laid out on the cold tiles — soaking wet and completely still.
Aphantasia, he'd explained to you one day a few months earlier. A woefully understudied characteristic of some people that meant an inability to visualise.
You've never been more grateful for your deficiency. It was different for him; his memories. Spencer could see them all. You often wondered how he coped.
"You drowned," you whisper into the dark room. "You were dead."
"My heart never stopped, I–"
"Spencer," you interrupt, heart racing. "You weren't breathing. You were so still and I thought I wouldn't—"
"You saved me," he says softly. "I'm okay." He reaches up to your temple and ever so gently brushes some of your hair off your forehead. It's a completely pointless gesture, apart from being the final straw, that is.
The dam bursts as his finger brushes your skin, feather-light. "I can't do it," you gasp. "I can't. I can't do it."
"Please. Please, don't cry." He pulls you against him. "I hate when you cry."
You bury your face in his neck, wetting his warm skin with fresh tears.
"You won't have to do it ever again," he says, misunderstanding your meaning entirely. "No bodies of water for me, promise."
You shake your head, too busy choking on tears to verbally correct him.
"Everything's fine," he soothes. "Ple-ase." The last word comes out a little broken, a crack in his voice splintering the vowels in the middle.
You pull back from him, enough to look up into his sad eyes. "I didn't mean... I mean't..."
His thumbs wipe at your cheeks.
You suck in a shaky breath. "I mean't... I can't feel all this anymore. I'm so afraid." Another shaky inhale. "Every day. Anytime you aren't near me..."
His hands drop from your face. Confused. This was his confused face. He was attempting to interpret.
"I can't make it go away," you whisper. "I love- I love you and every day you might..." He's blinking at you, a lock of wavy hair falling over one of his eyes. You need him to speak now, take some of the weight off you. You're so tired. "I'm afraid," you confess again. "You can't do that again. Please. You can't–"
"You love me?"
You pause, processing his simple words. Then, "You didn't know?"
He blinks. Again, "You... You love me?"
"Yes," you breathe. A release. "Of course. I'm in love with you. I thought you... how could you not know? I—"
"You've never told me."
He says it simply. Like that's the only way he could possibly have known. You didn't tell him, therefore how could he ever interpret your blatant lovesick adoration as anything other than friendly consideration.
Everyone else knew. The entire team had known about your crush from the earliest days. Some of them had known before you had figured it out yourself.
But not him. Apparently.
"I'm sorry," is what you find yourself saying, eyes burning again. You drop your eyes to the floor. "I'd really.... I'd like to stay friends. Please." You pick at a loose thread in your cardigan, a consequence of your nervous habit. "I need you, I think. I think I need you."
Every move he makes after the last word of your confession leaves your lips is incredibly delicate; he's slow and almost cautious as he hooks his fingers under your chin.
He looks sad when your eyes meet his. He's doing that thing that always leave your chest aching. They're big and dark and so, so full of feeling. "Don't cry," he whispers again.
You nod, like you have any control at all. Anything to stop the sad eyes.
Then he's leaning down. His lips ghost against your cheek, just enough to collect a tear. Then the other cheek. Just a brush of soft lips to wet skin. Then he's ghosting over your lips. His final word is so quiet you almost miss it. It's so quiet you aren't entirely sure he meant it for your ears at all.
"Please."
His lips are wet against yours when he finally closes that tiny little gap. It's too much for your entirely overwhelmed and exhausted mind to process properly. Your fingers drop the hem of your cardigan, suddenly lax and completely free of any responsibility.
His hand rests at your lower back. You're grateful for the support, for the grounding. You're not entirely sure that you'd stay standing otherwise.
He's kissing you. Which means... something. It means something that you'll spend many hours thinking about... some other time. Some time when he's not kissing you. Right now, right now you think you'll just think about the way he feels. Or maybe the tiny sound he makes when he steps into you, like he can somehow get closer. Like you weren't sharing a single breath.
You're half convinced you might wake at any moment. Like this might be some fucked up dream your brain has concocted to contrast the cold kiss you'd been forced to share hours earlier as you'd forced oxygen into his lungs.
No.
No, he's too real; too warm and solid. He presses you against the edge of the desk. It cuts into the backs of your thighs.
You're awake.
He releases your lips only to pull you firmly against him, his arms wrapping around you tight. It's a desperate sort of hug. One you might give a loved one after a long separation... or a close call.
You lift your arms to join him, to add an extra layer of security to the embrace—lest someone try and pull you apart.
His lips press into your neck as he buries his face into you. Closer, the action screams. You understand the feeling entirely.
"You love me, too?" you mumble against his skin.
His head moves as he hums. Yes. He loves you.
He loves you.
You grasp at his shirt, the stiff fabric of the dress shirt crumpling in your fingers as you attempt to get a firm hold. You just think you've managed a secure grip when he's tugging you back and pressing his lips to yours again.
It's different this time. Desperate. You understand that, too. Desperate is disorganised. Desperate is irrational. Desperate is messy.
Messy is fine.
Messy is wet kisses and marks on your neck. Messy is the noise the lamp makes when it hits the floor. Messy is the way his hands tug at your cardigan and grip your thighs when he finally has them bare.
Messy is nice.
He's halfway over you eventually, using the desk to lay you out beneath him. "This okay?" he gasps between kisses. "You're okay?"
"Mm," you hum into his mouth. "Yeah. Yeah. I love you."
His lips leave yours in a lingering sort of way, like neither of you are willingly to release the other. But still, he manages it. "We shouldn't do this here," he says, a little breathless. His fingers press into your thighs as he says it.
"But I want to."
He looks at you like he's calculating, interpreting. You know you must look a mess. Your lips feel a little tingly with the nips he's given you. That's something you didn't expect from him. You'd always imagined his kisses to be gentle—sweet and soft.
His eyes drop to your lips like he's heard your thoughts. "Yeah?" he breathes. "You really... you really want to?"
"Please."
His jaw clenches once before he's falling over you, his body weight pressing you into the wood beneath you.
His lips brush against your neck when he speaks next. "Anything you want," he mutters as his fingers trace up your inner thigh.
By the time he finally presses himself inside you, you're on the brink of tears again. You're lost, you realise as he whimpers into your neck. Everything depends on him. You may as well crawl into his chest and make a home there. You're reliant on his survival in the same way you're reliant on your own heart beating.
He whimpers again as you clench around him. "Please," he gasps on an uneven breath. You're not sure what he's asking for. You curl your fingers in his hair. He could be asking for anything at all and you're sure you'd give it to him. Anything at all.
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jakesangel · 2 days
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jake w emotional/sensitive reader ꣑୧ - requested
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jake is someone who will always be found of people cuteness, i mean look at his reaction or his behavior towards sunoo or jungwoon, always so gentle n smiling at them, but when it comes to you ? he is DOWN for your cuteness. so when he realized your more sensitive than average, he couldn't find something else more adorable then you. he would grow habits to look at all your reactions and coo at them, often finding his hands pinching your soft cheeks w his eyes pure of adorations. but that also means he would be even more protective of you, not wanting to let anything sadden you or even worse makes you cry.
one night, you'd be found cuddled up in jake's arms, watching 20th century girl, per your request. as the story unfolds, you'd been found crying, something that always occurs, as it's the third time your watching the movie,oh my love, he would coo, are you crying ? he would then add as he takes your face in his hands so you can face him. in those kind of situation he obviously takes your feeling valid n will never make you feel like you're too munch but he can't help but smile seeing you so open at your feelings : he would see you as precious and too soft for this world and so it would be his duties to make sure you're okay. ooh my baby, the ending is so sad isn't it or poor princess, this is too munch for you, he would softly say as he would wipe your tears away, w a stupid pout on. he would then make you sit on his lap, so he can take care of you better in a more comfortable position. his hands would go back to holding your face, but this time, as your same level, he would kiss your face lightly wanting you to laugh and not cry anymore. this movie, kiss, doesn't deserve, kiss, any of your tears baby, kiss. as the kisses and soft words go, he would have stopped to try to wipe your tears away, just softly kissing your soft skin on top of them, acknowledging your emotions, but his hands would some go to your hair, evening them a little as a reassurance manner. and when you calm down, he would hug you, waiting for your breath to be normal again. but that's a little trick before attacking you w tickles, wanting needing to see his girl laugh. he'd obviously laugh w you, your giggles being pure music to his ears, he would actually laugh so munch at with you, that he also needs to calm down. and if you take that opportunity to run away from him, your place will be filled w louder laughs and two grown people running around your apartment. and as he catches you, you on the floor, he would blow on your stomach like you're a baby, your chuckles being his audio addiction.
and perhaps your neighbour would come up to ask the both of you to calm down but jake mood can not be brought down, he is so happy when he see you are being your normal self again, the movie long forgotten. and perhaps his adoration for you wouldn't calm down, my delicate angel, i'll always protect you or sleep well, my fragile doll, he would say kissing your temple as your asleep. or perhaps he'll do both, all his adoration goes to you now afterall.
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notes : hai anon,, here's your request ᵎ i tried to make it specially for you, w the movie mentioned, i hope you like it ᵎᵎ please lemme kno > <
@imaluckygirl @luvj4key @stwrjvke @amouriu @neos127 @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @jaeyunpinkyring @pockettwinzz @jwsdoll @heeheeswifey @sjylouvre @txnwvc @oopshee
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soffsh2 · 2 days
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What Once Was
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Plot Summary: After Jackie left you for Jeff in your teen years, you’ve done all you could to avoid running into her. You decide to go to your high school’s 25 year reunion once you hear that Jackie wasn’t going to attend. How were you to know she’d show up anyway.
1996
Jackie had been acting strange for the last few days. In fact, it felt like she had been pulling away from you since graduation. You’d gotten to the point where you had to call her friends to see if she was acting as odd with them as she was with you. Though none of them had an answer for you, she was acting the same with everybody else. Only things with you were different.
Earlier in the day, you had called Shauna, telling her that you were going to go talk to Jackie and finally see what was wrong. You had given her time to come to you and explain the reason for how she was acting, but she wouldn’t budge. And the longer it went on, the quieter Jackie became. It almost seemed like she was avoiding you, but she wouldn’t do that to her girlfriend. You were positive that you just needed to assure her that you would both do fine with long distance. 
You drove over to the Taylor’s house and found an unfamiliar truck parked where you usually do. Walking up to the house, you could hear the sounds of voices through the open windows. You knock on the front door, expecting Jackie or either of her parents to open it up. You were certainly not expecting the door to open and have you face-to-face with Jeff Sadecki.
He groaned, speaking as he retreated further into your girlfriend's house. “Jackie, can you not have your friends come visit when we’re on a date?” Pfff, a date? Jackie’s parents are probably trying to set them up again. That poor, delusional asshole, you thought. Jackie bounced cheerfully to the door until she saw you standing there. Her face quickly changed, and she hurriedly pushed you outside, closing the door behind you both.
You always thought Jackie’s parents suspected you and her, but you never thought they’d go this far. "Wow, your parents have hit a new low. I mean, setting you up on a date with Jeff Sadecki? Jesus.” You laughed for a second, until you realized Jackie wasn’t laughing with you. Actually, she had the most sympathetic look on her face that she’s ever directed at you. Immediate concern filled your body. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Y/n. My parents didn’t set this up; I did.” Your face dropped instantly. “Jax, what? What’re you talking about?” She tried to hold your hands when she explained herself to you, but you immediately shook yourself out of her grasp. “Y/n… I can’t do this. I can’t be that way. It’s not natural.” You didn’t believe the words that she was saying. Two weeks ago, she was happily in love with you, telling you and every one of her teammates as much. And now, this? 
“Jackie, woah, where is this coming from? You felt your throat start to close up. Jackie was slowly trying to move you further from the door, afraid that her parents or Jeff would hear you.
“Please don’t make this more difficult for me than it already is. I don’t want to hurt you; I just can't be like that with you anymore.” She was trying not to make her words sound as harsh as they were, and she was failing horrendously at it. The more she spoke, the more you teared up. Seeing that seemed to send her into even more of a panic as she continued talking. “I don’t like women. I’m meant to be with someone like Jeff. It just makes sense.” She tried to rationalize.
She was about to say more when you heard Jeff’s voice call from inside. “Babe! Get back in here; you’re gonna miss the highlights of my game!” She tried not to look too unhappy before she returned her gaze to you. You could see her face falter when she looked at you, standing on her doorstep crying because of what she did. Whatever sliver of her that felt bad for her actions was swiftly hidden away as she opened her front door once again. She looked at you with a stoic face and sad eyes when she said her last words to you. “Goodbye Y/n.”
Tears cascaded down your cheeks on the drive home. It felt like you were living in a fucking nightmare. It certainly didn’t feel real. Some part of you couldn’t blame her, you had known the pressure her parents put on her. She always seemed like she carried the world on her shoulders, but those were expectations she put on herself. Upon getting home, you immediately ran upstairs and fell into your bed.
You were only home for a few minutes when you got a call on your landline. You wanted to ignore it, but a part of you hoped that it was Jackie calling to tell you it was all a bad joke and she was sorry. You quickly answered. “Hello? Jackie?” Your tone was hopeful, bordering on desperate. “Uh, no?” A different voice fills your ears.
“Oh hi, Shauna.” You couldn't hide the disappointment that laced through your voice when you realized that Jackie wasn’t going to call. “I was just calling to see if you were home already, but I didn’t expect you to be home this soon. What happened at Jackie’s—” The mention of Jackie's name made you breakdown. “Shauna,… she left me.” The other end of the line went quiet before Shauna recovered from her surprise. “She what? No. She wouldn't.” Her voice sounded distant, and she sounded as confused as you felt. “She did. She dumped me for Jeff fucking Sadecki.” 
The fact that anyone would view Jeff as an upgrade was comical to Shauna, but she had to stifle her laugh when she heard you speak again. “Is it really that big of an issue for her to love me?” All the emotion was drained from your voice. It made Shauna uncomfortable to hear you like that. “Hold on, I’m coming over.”
Shauna made it to your house in record time. You both just sat in her car as you explained everything through sniffles. For a while, she was waiting for Jackie to pop out and say it was a prank, but no such relief came. She brought no words of comfort for you, Shauna was never good at pep talks. In fact, she would say that the only thing she was good at was brooding. However, she never left you to handle your sadness alone.
If it weren’t for Shauna showing up for you that summer, you weren’t sure how you would have fared. She had become your rock and did everything with you. You were close enough while you were dating her best friend, but this just felt different. There was not a thing you’d do that she wasn’t asking to accompany you with. Good thing too; she would always spot when Jackie and Jeff were nearby before you could see the pair. 
She’d saved you a lot of grief for the rest of the summer before you finally got peace when Jackie left for college. No more worrying about bumping into her at your favorite Deli that she’d loved. No possibility of running into her while she was on a date with Jeff. It was a start for everything to become easier for you. A couple weeks had passed, and you were finally feeling okay. You had even begun to forget the reason for your new-found friendship with Shauna.
It was at a coffee shop, about a week before Shauna was to leave for Brown, that it happened. You sat together on the patio of the café, laughing at something that Mari had told her earlier. Shauna’s mother had gotten her a brand new flip phone to go away to college with. She left it on the table after showcasing it to you. All of a sudden, the little thing lights up and rings. You look down and see her name plainly displayed on the screen. Everything came back to you then. You were reminded of the girl who made all of this happen. Shauna looked at the phone, saw the name that flashed on the tiny screen, and excused herself. She was not nearly far enough that you couldn’t hear her whisper yelling at Jackie. Discussing Jackie’s latest argument with Jeff and deflecting every time Jackie asked who Shauna was with, that she had to whisper. 
Beyond the reminder of Jackie that day, you had the daunting realization that you couldn’t continue your friendship with Shauna. It was wrong of you to take away and monopolize the time of your ex-girlfriend's best friend. Moreover, realizing you’d have to coexist alongside Jackie still being in Shauna’s life and possibly encountering her in one way or another was enough to make your decision final. After Shauna went to University, you’d stop talking to her.
When Shauna left, she had given you her mailbox number and the number of her new phone, so you could call and write to her often. She left with a smile and yelled at you to promise that you’d call before the end of her first week at Brown. You just smiled at her as her mother drove her away, waving goodbye to her until the old station wagon disappeared from view. 
 
2021
The years drifted by quickly as you tried to forget all about Jackie Taylor and the rest of your old friends in Wiskayok. You were glad to have gone to a college far enough from your hometown, it made it easier to stay there and disappear from everyone. You had tried dating afterwards, but everything seemed so dull in comparison. The feeling of having her love you was something indescribable. To have a random person fill the place that you always thought would belong to Jackie just didn’t feel right. You told yourself you enjoyed the solitude. Convinced yourself that it was your own choice rather than a decision made without your blessings.
You were intent on keeping it that way too, trying not to remember any people from home. But that’s when you got the call. “Hey Y/n, it's Misty, Misty Quigley from high school.” You’re not sure you ever gave Misty your number, so you wonder how she has it now. "Yeah, hi Misty, I remember. How’ve you been?” You say unenthused; you didn’t actually care to know. “Doing good; I’m an attendant at a nursing home. So I’m living the dream! But… I’d be doing better if you came to the reunion this year.” 
The words were like a punch to the face. “Misty no—” She’s quick to cut you off. “Come on, Y/n, nobody has seen or heard from you in years; some people probably think you’re dead at this point.” She was practically begging over the phone. “And I am fine to keep it that way, happy even.” You attempt to shut it down again. “Y/n…please. The girls miss you.” That tugged on your heart a little. “Misty, really, I can’t—” She cuts you off yet again with her best argument all evening. “Jackie won’t be there.”
You were well aware that Jackie never misses the opportunity to go to the reunions, and thus you avoided going at all costs. It’s only when Misty sighs and tells you that Jackie cannot attend this year because of some furniture convention in Philadelphia that Jeff was dragging her to that you begrudgingly agreed to go. You hadn’t kept up with your old friends and teammates, just to avoid ever running into Jackie. You rationalized that it’d be nice to see them again with no fear of running into her. And this opportunity probably won’t come again for another 25 years, so you figured you might as well. So you reply to the Facebook invitation that you’ll be attending and prepared yourself.
The day of the reunion approached faster and faster until you found yourself sitting in your car in the parking lot of your old high school, fidgeting with your dress shirt. Practically doing all that you could to stall actually going inside. The whole place reminded you of Jackie. It made you nearly sick to your stomach. All the hurt caused by her leaving you, which despite it all, was still fresh in your mind. The longer you sat, the more anxious you became. Finally, looking down at your phone and seeing the time prompted you to reach for the door handle and get out. 
Walking through the doors of Wiskayok High, you had expected it to look different, to have been updated at all in the 25 years since your graduation. But no, it's still the same ratty old hallway in the same broken-down school that you remembered. It brought a slight sense of comfort, knowing that you could likely still navigate your way through the entire high school campus without issue.
Approaching the big, blue and yellow decorated doors, the only thing that separated you from people you hadn’t seen in 20+ years, you felt nauseous. You had to keep telling yourself that Jackie wasn’t here to keep your anxiety at bay. So, with a deep breath, you pushed open the large metal doors. It was decorated as well as a high school gym could be, you supposed. A lot of lights strung up with blue and yellow balloons set on each table. 
Right as you enter, you see Misty standing by the photographer and his props. The sound of the closing door can barely be heard over the music playing throughout the gymnasium; however, she could still sense it and turn to see you. The sight brings a large smile to her face as she runs over to lead you to the table with all the other girls. 
As you approach a large round table, you could start to make out the familiar faces of your old friends. Their conversation dies down when Natalie notices you, getting up to greet you. “Holy shit…when Misty told us you were coming, we all just thought she was full of it.” You laugh nervously. You still feel tense from being around people you used to know so well but now felt like strangers. “Well, here I am.” 
You turn around. “Tai, congratulations on the campaign.” Taissa smiles at you before speaking. “Thank you, Y/n… You look great.” She says it so genuinely. You'd guess that when people haven't seen you in years, they can only assume the worst.
Before you could respond, you’re wrapped in a hug by Shauna, much unlike the moody teen you once knew. “Hey Shipman.” You said as you wrapped your arms around her. You embrace her for a moment before she pulls away and punches you in the arm. Now that’s more like the Shauna Shipman you knew. “You stopped responding to me! Don’t ever do that again; I’ve missed seeing you. I really thought that I would never hear from you again.” 
As you gently hold the spot where Shauna laid into your arm, you try to explain yourself. "Shauna, come on, you know I couldn’t keep in touch after everything with...” You gestured to an empty space next to Shauna that, when you were younger, would always be filled by Jackie. Her demeanor changed, and the others went quiet around you as well. 
“You know it never sat right with me, what she did.” She defends. “I know, but she needed you. I wasn’t going to get in the way of that.” She looks at you with sad brown eyes. “You still needed me too.” You shrug. “I wasn’t going to ask you to choose me over your best friend.” Shauna opens her mouth to respond before Taissa grabs you by the shoulders and guides you to sit in one of the chairs. “You guys can talk later; we need to hear about what’s been going on in the past 20 years.”
The tension melted away quickly, and you felt as if you'd picked up right where you left off with them. Everyone tells you about what they’ve been up to. You’re most surprised that Shauna has a daughter now. She hit you again when you told her that she never struck you as the nurturing type. It felt so light and perfect, you knew something had to go wrong.
The metal doors have been opening and closing all night, with people going in and out of the gym. So, of course, you paid it no mind when the metal clicked open and shut once more. You were far too intrigued to hear about Natalie’s latest rehab stint to notice the approaching figure until it was too late.
“Hi guys!” A cheery voice breaks through the crowd. You felt like a deer caught in headlights. You didn’t need to look at her to know who it was. You were frozen, all you could hear were some nervous greetings from around the table. By the tense tone in the girls' voices, it seemed they wanted to be swallowed by the ground just as much as you did. 
You watched her gaze flit to every person before landing on you. “Hi Y/n.” Her smile shone as brightly as you remember it. If you hadn’t known her like you did, you would’ve assumed she was being fake with you. “Hey Jackie.” Your voice low as you tried to avoid her eyes and take a sip of your drink. Shauna laid her hand on your arm and squeezed reassuringly; the action was not lost on Jackie. You watched her eyes focus on the action, her face hiding a barely contained scowl now. She was about to speak again when Misty spoke up.
You thank every higher power in the sky, as it made Jackie face Misty instead of you. Her green eyes felt like they were burning into your skin the longer she stared. “You said you weren’t coming. The convention?” Misty looked like she felt guilty for putting you in this position. You would’ve thought it was a trap, but you knew Jackie. "Oh, didn’t you get my email? Last week, Jeff decided that he wanted to go alone. So I emailed you, saying that I would be attending after all.” 
Jackie was never great at lying. It may not have been obvious to the others, but to you and Shauna, you could read Jackie like a book. You turned to Shauna with a suspicious look, and her face mirrored your own. Misty gave her a confused look. “You didn’t email me.” Jackie feigned surprise. "Oh, silly me, I must’ve written it up but never sent it.” She turned to the table with a ‘what can you do’ expression and a shrug as she moved to sit down. She took the open chair directly across from you. God, it’d be hard to avoid eye contact with her now.
"So, Y/n I haven't heard from you in ages; are you married?” Jackie never had tact when she wanted something, but the sheer audacity to ask stunned you. Everyone else seemed to have the same sentiment as you because the girls all avoided eye contact. Shauna tried to scold Jackie, but that only encouraged her to persist further with you. To cease the girls bickering, you gave her an answer. “Uh, no, Jackie. I’m not.” She tried to push a small smile from her face when she responded. “Oh, really? That’s too bad.” 
At that, Taissa pushed herself from the table, stating that she was going to go get a plate of something to eat. Natalie and Misty both followed her, seeming to find the encounter too awkward to bear. “So, why aren’t you on Facebook?” Jackie continued to pry. 
“I am; I just have a few people blocked.” You didn’t leave anything up for interpretation with your tone. Shauna laughed beside you. She seemed to have read the hint immediately, while Jackie was still catching up. You knew, however, exactly when she figured it out because she instantly pouted. The slight against her did nothing to dissuade her efforts, though. She was as persistent as ever; you could give her that much.
"So, to be clear, you’re not dating anyone? Right?” That was the last straw. You got up from the table, stating that you were going to find the food Tai was referring to. As you left the table, you could hear Shauna chastise Jackie quietly. You couldn’t make out much, but you did hear the distinct sound of Jackie complaining before you were out of earshot. “What Shauna? It’s not like I could check on her Facebook.”
You stayed by the buffet table for a few minutes, making idle chatter with whoever recognized you. Anything to avoid being stuck with Jackie at the table. However, it didn't take long for her to grow bored and go searching for you. She appeared out of nowhere; it almost startled you. It was as if one second you were alone, and the next she was beside you, already opening her mouth to yap.
“Crazy bumping into you. Now that I have you here, you never answered that question back there.” You rolled your eyes and did your best to ignore her. "Oh, come on, Y/n. You never come to these; I just wanna catch up!” You had about had it. Turning to face her completely, you drop the niceties.
“Cut the shit Jackie, you and I both know you’re lying. Why are you really here?” Jackie stands there a little stunned; you’d never snapped like that at her while you were dating. "I, uh… well, I saw that you responded to the Facebook invite and that you were coming. And I just wanted to see you and maybe talk to you.” You don’t have the energy for her right now. “There’s nothing to talk about, Jackie. I don’t want explanations or apologies. Just leave me alone.” You turned and walked back to the table where Shauna was seated alone. 
You sighed as you sat down next to her, with your head in your hands. Shauna leaned over and rubbed your back. She was doing her best to give you some semblance of comfort. She knew this was a lot for you; she didn’t have to say it. It was painfully obvious and awkward enough to send your other three friends running to interact with literally anyone else. When you brought your head back up, you could see Jackie staring at the two of you. She looked so insecure as she stood right where you left her. Shifting uncomfortably on her feet, she looked like a kicked puppy. You laid your head in your hands again and groaned. 
“I don’t know what to do, Shauna; she won’t stop with me.” Your voice came out muffled from your hands. You could hear Shauna sigh next to you, and her hand dropped from your back. "Yeah, she was never great with the word ‘no'.” She laughed. You huffed out a small laugh as well. 
You heard a click of heels on the gym floor coming at you and looked up. You saw Jackie marching over to the table with renewed vigor. She stood directly at your side and placed her hands on her hips when she addressed you. “Y/n I really think we should talk about what happened.” She said it in the exact tone that she would always do when you were teenagers. The same tone that got you to straighten up and do exactly what she said. 
You were getting so frustrated with her. You’d just wanted a moment of peace away from her, and she couldn’t seem to respect that. Fuck it. You stood, turned to Shauna, and offered her your hand. “You wanna dance?” A look of surprise crossed her face, but upon seeing your expression of determination, she smiled and delicately placed her hand in yours. “I’d love to.” She rose from her seat, and you led her to the dance floor, leaving Jackie with a look of utter shock as you brushed past her.
You enjoyed your time with Shauna, laughing together as you moved around the dance floor. Every now and then, when you spun her, you’d get a look behind her at the table. The table where you’d see Jackie sitting alone, miserably gazing at you and her best friend dancing. Jackie was downing her drinks quickly. She’d kept pouring herself more drinks from the punch bowl to drown her sorrows. The punch bowl that sat in the middle of the table, the one that Natalie had definitely spiked earlier in the night. You tried to not let the image of Jackie sitting sad and alone because of your actions burn itself into your brain.
“I know what you’re doing.” Shauna’s voice made you shift your gaze away from Jackie. “Huh?” You attempted to play dumb. She rolled her eyes. “If you’re trying to get a reaction out of her, you’re doing a good job.” You straightened up, and Shauna gave you a look like she knew she’d nailed exactly what you were up to. “I think that Jackie brought this onto herself.” You deflected. Shauna shrugged before smirking at you. "Oh, she definitely did.” She leaned in closer and whispered in your ear. “But next time, let me know, and I can help you drive her up a wall.” You can’t fight the grin that took over your face. You spun her again as you spoke. "Well, she always did seem to get a little jealous when it came to us, Shippy.”
An hour had passed while you continued to dance with Shauna until a brash voice broke you both apart. “Sorry to interrupt you, lovebirds.” You and Shauna turned to Nat, with a visibly drunk Jackie being dragged behind her. “‘Lovebirds?’” Jackie questioned with a pout. “Jesus.” You muttered as they got closer. 
Nat all but tossed Jackie into Shauna, and Jackie instantly melted into the form of her best friend. “She’s a mess. She needs to go home.” Jackie attempted to mumble something in protest, but it was muffled with her face in Shauna's shoulder. Natalie looked at Shauna expectantly. "Oh, I didn’t drive here; Callie dropped me off. And she hasn’t answered any of my texts, so I think she’s asleep.” Then both Shauna and Nat looked to you.
"Oh, come on.” You immediately protested. “I’m sorry, Y/n. You drove here and you barely had anything to drink; it’s the safest option.” Shauna being against you for this argument felt like a small betrayal to you. Shauna was right, and you didn't necessarily want anything bad to happen to anyone on their ride home. But that didn't mean you should have to be the one to take her home. “No, you know how I feel about her.” Jackie lifted her head and body from Shauna to complain. “Hey, I’m right here.” Natalie halfheartedly pushed her back into Shauna, and Jackie fell right back into her place on Shauna.
“No Shauna.” You tried to say it in a tone that left no room for debate, but of course Shauna persisted. “Y/n please? I’ll even go too. You’d actually be doing me a favor since I need a ride.” You were about to object further; tell her ‘no way’ when you looked at Jackie. She hadn’t stopped staring since she was brought over. Her eyes were so sad, and her leaning up against Shauna like she had no legs of her own made her look utterly helpless. You couldn’t fight the soft spot you still had for her, and when you looked at Shauna, it just solidified it more. You knew you weren’t going to be on the winning side of this argument. “Fine… FINE. I’ll do it.” Shauna, who you’re sure would’ve reached out and squeezed your hand if it hadn’t been holding Jackie’s form upright, mouthed a thank you. 
You gathered your things and led Shauna, who was still supporting her best friend, to your car. As soon as you went to unlock the back door for Shauna to slide Jackie into, Jackie found enough drunken athleticism to slide over to the passenger's side door. You looked warily at Shauna, who halfheartedly tried to bring Jackie to the backseat. As soon as Jackie started whining about how she didn’t want to sit in the back, Shauna conceded and got into your back seat instead. You rolled your eyes. You really didn’t want to be stuck up front with Jackie, but it seemed you had no choice. You took a deep breath before getting into your seat and pulling out of the parking spot.
The ride was quiet; for the most part, you and Shauna occasionally spoke and reminisced about things you did together that last summer before college. You almost forgot about Jackie sitting silently in the passenger's seat, or you would have if she wasn’t staring at you and Shauna as you spoke fondly about times that didn’t include her. You were about to turn to head towards Jackie’s house when Shauna spoke up.
“Y/n, I hate to do this to you, but is there any way you can drop me off first?” You gave her a look in the rear view mirror that said, ‘Are you kidding me?’ Shauna looked at you sympathetically. You knew she didn’t want to do this to you on purpose. “I know, I’m sorry. I just need to make sure Callie’s alright; I haven’t left her alone this long since before her dad left.” You roll your eyes but adjust to head towards Shauna’s house. 
When you pulled up to Shauna’s house, you could see there was a light on upstairs. Shauna sighs and mutters something under her breath about Callie being up at this hour and not texting her back. She scooted over and wrapped her arms around Jackie from behind the seat. "Night, Jax, see you soon.” She then got out and walked over to your door, then waited outside it for a moment with an expectant look on her face. “Aren’t you going to walk me to the door?” You smiled at the sentiment and got out, leaving the car door open, before you walked Shauna up to her porch. She enveloped you in a hug before you could utter a word of farewell. 
She pulled back before speaking. “You are not allowed to not talk to me for more than a week, ever again. You hear me?” You laughed. “I’m serious, Y/n.” Shauna continued. “I promise I'll keep in touch, Shauna.” You said, genuinely. “You better.” She leaves you with a lingering kiss on your cheek before heading inside. When you turned to walk back to your car, you saw that Jackie watched the entire interaction. She had such a sad look on her face when you walked back, you felt like you were caught doing something that you weren't supposed to.
After you got back into the car, there was only a beat of silence before Jackie spoke up. “So you’re not, like… in love with Shauna now, right?” There was a hesitance in her voice; all her insecurity was laced into that one question. “What? Jackie, that's—” You tried, but she cut you off. “Cause I hope she likes my sloppy seconds.” She had rolled down the window to scream the sentiment out towards Shauna’s house, as if Shauna would hear her behind the closed door. You hastily pulled her back in, scrambling a little. You were very aware of how much noise Jackie was making at such a late hour; however, Jackie wasn’t while she was in her drunken state. “Jesus Jackie, shhhh. What’s wrong with you?” Jackie sat back in the passenger's seat with a pout and folded her arms. “I just don’t appreciate the way she’s been acting with you.” 
“You don’t get to feel any way about how anyone acts with me. You lost that right a long time ago. Now let’s just go home, please.” Jackie lays her head back against the headrest and closes her eyes as she protests. “Noooooo.” How did you used to put up with her whining daily? This was exhausting. "No, seriously, Jackie. We have to go; it’s late, and I want to go to bed.” She continued drunkenly complaining. “I don’t wannaaaa.” You were desperate to not be alone with her anymore, so you tried to say something that would make her relent.
“Jackie, please, you have to go home. Jeff will be worried about you.” She shook her head against the window, practically falling asleep in your passenger's seat. You sighed. Of course, she was being stubborn with you. Twenty-five years of not talking, and she still acted the same. “What do you mean? Yes, he will.” You wouldn’t know; you don’t know how Jeff is, but it hurt more the longer that you stayed around Jackie, and you just needed to get away from her. She only laughed humorlessly at your comment as she slumped further into the seat. “Nuh-uh… Me and Jeff aren’t together anymore.” 
The confession hit you like a ton of bricks, so much so that it left you speechless for a moment. “What? Are you serious?” She nodded, her eyes still closed. “Mhmm.” You had a million things that you wanted to ask—how, why—but the only thing that left your mouth was, “Do the others know?” 
Only at this did her eyes slowly open, and she just stared vacantly down the dark street. “Nope.” Popping the ‘p’ when she said it. “Why?” She still refused to make eye contact with you when she answered. “The girls would just yell at me… Tell me that I hurt you for nothing. And I did; I know that. I don't have to have them tell me that I ruined the only good thing I’ve ever had when I left you.” You sat in silence for a beat, looking down at the steering wheel, as you tried desperately to process all that she said. 
You turned back to face her when she continued speaking, finding her already looking at you for the first time during the whole conversation. “I’m sorry, by the way. For what I did. I really wish I was a better person for you; you deserved it.” Her eyes were illuminated by the glow of the street lights, showing that she was tearing up.
A younger version of yourself would have hopped over the center console to hug her the second you saw her anywhere close to crying. The most that the current you could muster was to break the intense eye contact and utter a half-hearted "Yeah, well… we can’t change the past.” There was a pause in conversation; the air was tense now that Jackie had aired out all her dirty laundry. Her voice was low as she resumed speaking. “I wish I wasn’t afraid of what would’ve happened with us. Maybe I’d be happy now. We probably would’ve had a good life.” You put the car in drive, as you replied. “Yeah, maybe.”
You drive to Jackie’s childhood home, having memorized its path from every corner of Wiskayok. You wanted to ask so much more, but debated whether it would upset her. Jackie, who seemed almost sober now, is slumped against the passenger door, looking out the window. She spoke, but you were too lost in thought to hear it. “I’m sorry, what was that?” She sighed. “I said, I know you. You obviously want to ask something. Go ahead; it won’t make me sad.” Her bluntness caught you by surprise, but then again, what about her didn’t nowadays? 
“Well, how long has it been?” You don’t need to say what the question was pertaining to for Jackie to know what you meant. It’s a bittersweet feeling to know that, despite everything, she could still read you and know what you were thinking so well. She took a deep breath before she answered. “Almost a year now. It's why I wasn’t going to come this year; I couldn't face anyone. Not when I haven’t worked up the courage to tell them.” You nodded along as you continued driving. “Was there a reason?” She hesitated and turned to face you before she answered.
“Yeah, I just never could get over you. I still haven't, and I don’t think I ever will.” She said it so candidly that you were hoping you didn’t hear her correctly. You wanted to ignore the mixed feelings bubbling into your stomach, because now all of what she said the whole night was more than just high school nostalgia. More than simple ‘What if’ scenarios, and more than hints for you to read into. That was an admission, and you were so upset that that realization happened this late in her life. Now she had you thinking that you actually could have been happy together this whole time. You were so caught up that you almost flew past Jackie’s house.
You don’t say anything as you break and put the car in park. You kept looking at the steering wheel while Jackie tried desperately to meet your eyes, silently pleading for you to say something. All that you could think was that it was all for nothing. You were mostly afraid it was still the alcohol talking. You didn't want to get your hopes up for something that was only going to be true for as long as the booze was in her system.
“I think you should leave.” Jackie’s face dropped at your reaction, and almost immediately tears started to roll down her cheeks. “What? Y/n, no.” You still avoided her eyes. “Please, this isn't a conversation I want to have after you’ve been drinking. It’s best that you go inside.” At that, she braced herself in your car. “I’ve sobered up; please, can we talk about this?” She begged.
“Jackie, you have to get out of the car.” It took the last shred of your will to try to turn her away one more time. Jackie’s voice was hoarse as she yelled back at you. "No, I can’t. I can’t leave because if I get out, then I’ll never see you again, and it’s all my fault.” She was beyond being consoled by words. She was sobbing so much, you felt awful for upsetting her. Up until that point, you were doing your best not to get sucked in, but how could you deny her? 
“Okay, okay.” You relented. You got out of the car, and for a moment, Jackie had a look of panic on her face, seeming ready to chase after you if you left her. You got to the passenger’s door, and as soon as you opened the door, Jackie grabbed onto you and held you in a hug. You mustered up the calmest voice that you could when you spoke next. “I’m sorry.” She sobbed into your shoulder, mumbling, “Please don’t leave.” over and over.
“Please, can you stay tonight? Can we just go inside and pretend that I didn’t mess it all up?” She sniffled into your shirt. You nodded, slowly rubbing her back while you tried to soothe her. When you were younger, you’d dreamt about this scenario and getting to tell Jackie ‘no.’ But that didn’t happen. Truth be told, you don’t think it took more than a second of thought. "Yeah, we can do that, Jax.”
Once she had calmed down, you gradually began to let her go while whispering gently for her to go inside. She grabs your hand as she guides you through a house that was once so familiar to you. Jackie had moved and changed some things around, but it still looked relatively the same.
She pulled you toward her old childhood bedroom. Something about it felt so different. But not much was changed aside from her replacing the pink carpeting with a gray color. It felt almost like a betrayal to change something that was once so sacred to you both. An escape from her parents, a place where you could kiss her safely. It all felt foreign, even if it was the same room you had snuck into countless times just to fall asleep together. Jackie had always hated sleeping alone. You guessed that never changed based on the situation you found yourself in now.
Your musings were interrupted by Jackie tapping your arm. You turned and found Jackie with an embarrassed look on her face. She faced away and showed that she was struggling to fully unzip her dress from the evening. You rolled your eyes as she held her hair up with one hand, assuring it wouldn’t be in the way. Gently holding her shoulder with one hand, you slowly pulled the zipper down with the other. As her dress was being undone, more and more of her back was being exposed to you. It was intimate; she knew it. She could still read you like the back of her hand, so she knew exactly what she was doing.
Once the dress was fully unzipped, your hand slowly dropped from her shoulder, softly tracing Jackie’s skin in its descent. She turned and looked right into your eyes. She didn’t break eye contact with you when she reached up and looped her arms around your neck. As if it were second nature, you placed your hands on her waist. “I’ve really missed you.” She spoke in a whispered tone, as if there were any other people around to hear you. The only time her eyes left yours was to glance at your lips. Her intentions were obvious, and you were never that strong-willed when it came to denying Jackie something that she wanted.
You found yourself leaning in before you could give it a second thought. The urge to fall right back into place with Jackie was too difficult to deny. Jackie notices the action and moves to meet you in the middle. Once you were only an inch from each other's lips, you felt Jackie pull you the rest of the way into her. Her lips pressed roughly against yours, trying to convey every emotion she still felt for you.
Her hands move from your neck to thread into your hair. The grip you had on her waist tightened, and you brought her body closer to you. Jackie let out a small moan at the contact. After years of not hearing it, the noise sounded heavenly. It only spurred you on further. You backed her up against the nearest wall, and Jackie made a small sound when she hit it. Her dress was slipping further and further down her body as you kept going. The noises Jackie was making, the way she'd occasionally ground her hips into you, searching for friction. You knew where this was heading, and as lovely as that idea was, you knew you needed to stop. Everything in you wanted to continue, but you knew you had to separate to avoid taking it further too quickly. You pulled away, leaving a few chaste kisses on her lips to avoid seeing her pout.
When you both pulled apart, she was panting heavily. Once Jackie caught her breath, her face broke out into the largest smile. She always used to smile like that after kissing you when you were younger. You had to admit that it made you happy to see that you still had that effect on her. Jackie disappeared into her bathroom to get into her pajamas. It was at this point that you became painfully aware that you were still in your clothes from the reunion. You tried to adjust your clothing to be able to sleep in it.
Jackie came out of the bathroom while you were attempting to make your clothes as comfortable as possible. “Hold on!” She disappeared from the room with a smile on her face. You could hear her footsteps retreat, some fumbling sounds from the hallway, and her footsteps returning. She came back with a box in her hands. After she placed it on the floor and opened it up, you could see that it was full of your old clothes.
“You kept all these?” You said in astonishment as you sifted through all the clothes she stole from you years ago. She suddenly seemed bashful, watching you go through your old sports apparel and flannels. “I—uh, yeah, it’s always good to have some extra clothes lying around.” After finding a shirt and sweats that you found suitable for the night, you looked at Jackie. She nervously fiddled with her fingers before she continued speaking. “They actually still smelled like you for a long time after... everything. And it was nice, you know, to have some reminders of you still here. But just so you know, this is just a loan. I want those clothes back.” You smiled at her, getting up to give her a hug before you went to change. 
After you got into your old clothes that still miraculously fit very well, you crawled into her bed. Jackie hit the lights and walked over to the other side of the bed. You felt all the nostalgia hit you as you laid down on the soft sheets while Jackie climbed in as well. Her sheets and pillows smelled like her; it's comforting but brings a pit to your stomach at the same time. Laying in bed next to the love of your life for the first time in twenty-five years will do that to you, you guessed.
You laid flat on your back as Jackie curled into your side. She maneuvered your arm to hold her, effectively trapping herself against you. You both lay in the quiet of the dark room; the only light in the room was shining in from the streetlight outside. Jackie gingerly played with your fingers as you both sat in fulfilled silence. After a few minutes, Jackie turned her head to face to lay on your chest and held your torso. 
She was barely awake when she whispered to you. “Promise me that you’ll still be here when I wake up.” Her voice was muffled from her face being pressed against your chest. She said it so delicately, pleading with you. You were so caught up in the fondness of the moment that you took a beat to answer. After not immediately receiving an answer, Jackie opened her eyes and looked up at you. The sleepy expression on her face was wiped away, and you could see just how scared she was of never seeing you again. You'd do anything to never see her afraid like that again.
“I promise.” She took you in once more before leaning in and gently kissing you. It was innocent and lazy, kissing you just because she missed doing it. As if she were making up for lost time. Your heart thumped with an unearned feeling of domesticity. 
It only took a moment for Jackie to detach from you. She rolled to face away from you but scooched herself back to be flush against you. You took the hint and wrapped your arm around her waist. You could feel the grin that Jackie had on her face without even seeing it. She then placed her hand over yours and laced her fingers in between yours. No more than a minute or two later, Jackie fully relaxed into you. Her breathing slowly evened out as she fell asleep, still keeping a tight grip on you. 
Tomorrow, you’d plague yourself with the questions of what this meant for you and Jackie going forward. As for tonight, you just missed the feeling of holding her while you slept, and you’re not prepared to continue on without experiencing it every night. The rhythmic sound of her breathing and the smell of her conditioner brought a comfort to you that you had long forgotten. 
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nexysworld · 2 days
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Summary: Your boyfriend surprises you with a vacation. Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader Tags: NSFW, MDNI, Smut, Fingering in public, Unprotected Sex, Finger sucking, mildly dubious consent, Fluff and Smut, Toji is Toji, Established relationship. (This fic is not a joke for once 😭) A/N: This is a belated birthday fic to a super cool cat and fellow Toji lover. ♥️
Read on AO3 || Ask Box || Masterlist
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“You’re not serious.” You said, irritation already bubbling up inside of you. “Vegas? For a week? You’ve barely been home for a day after your last bender. I’m getting really sick of this To -”
“Woah, hold on.” He said, putting his hands up defensively. He rolled his eyes, that stupid handsome smirk of his stretching across his features. “You didn’t even let me finish, the best part is you’re comin’ too.”
“Huh?” There was no way. Not in all the time you’d known the man, much less the time you spent dating him, had he ever taken you anywhere. “To vegas? You’re taking me with you to Vegas?” You repeated, testing the words out. “What’s the catch?”
“No catch, sweetheart. I just wanna do somethin’ nice for my special girl. That a problem?”
“What’s the catch, Toji?” You repeated.
“Why do ya always have to act like this?” He kept his eyes averted as he scratched the back of his neck. “There’s no catch, I promise. The Luxor package was an extra tip tossed in by our last client. Shiu’ll be there too.”
You raised a brow at him suspiciously. “Your client.”
“That’s what I said.”
“And what kind of client could afford something like that?” There was always a feeling that Toji hadn’t been honest with you about his line of work. He didn’t like questions about it, and you’d already ignored enough red flags in the man, you figured, why not a few more? But this had alarm bells going off.
“A fancy one.”
“Uh huh. And are you finally going to tell me what kind of clients you work with?”
“Nope.” He said with a shrug. “Just gonna spoil you rotten ‘til you stop askin’.” He leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. “Get packin’.” He added before giving a slap to your ass and walking off as the surprised squeak left your mouth.
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You should’ve known better. There was a catch. There was always a catch when it came to Toji. “How’s your night been?” His heavy arms wrapped around you from behind as you sat before the slot machine. A slight slur to his words told you he’d been drinking, odd, it wasn’t usually his thing.
“M’good. Won a few times.” You said, leaning back into his warmth. He was like a human wall, it felt nice against the freezing AC blown air of the casino. “What about you?”
“Tch. Ya even have to ask?”
“That bad?”
“Worse.” He was resting his chin on the top of your head, you closed your eyes for a moment, relaxing against him.
“You need more spending money, don’t you?”
“It’s not my fault. I was hittin’ it good at the black jack table….until I wasn’t.”
“Toji…we haven’t even been here 24 full hours yet.” He responded by kissing you on the neck, sucking a bruise into the soft skin. “St-stop! We’re in the middle of the casino!”
“Mm, so?” He gently brushed your hair out of the way so he could do it again, right above the second one. “No one’s lookin’ anyway.”
“Wait til we get back to the hotel room, at least.”
“Don’t wanna.” You squirmed on the little stool, making it creak. “‘Sides, not like I got anythin’ else to be doin’ right now.”
“It’s not my fault you blew all the money in only a few hours. I’m not giving you more until tomorrow.”
“Fine by me. Means I can just sit here and keep ya company all night.” You could feel that bastard’s smug smile, like a sixth sense.
His game was easy to see from a mile away, and you weren’t going to give in this time. “If you want to sit there and watch me win, be my guest.” You shot back, putting another coin in the machine before pulling the lever.
Cherry. Cherry. Seven.
“Damn.” It rattled out a sad noise at the loss before resetting for another round.
“What was that about winning?”
“Shut it, you’re just bad luck.”
He snorted in response. “Am I?” His hand came down, dipping under your top groping at your chest. You hissed in response, pulling the lever again.
Seven. Seven. Lemon.
He tweaked your nipple, making you gasp and jump in your seat. “You’re like a child, you know that?” He replied with a hum, moving the same hand down your stomach, stopping at the hem of your pants. “Don’t even think about it.”
“What? I’m not doin’ anythin’.” The feigned innocence in his voice made your eyes roll so hard you thought they might pop out of your skull. When his hand remained exactly where it was for a few moments, you finally decided to accept his response. Again, you slipped a coin into the machine.
Ten. Ten. Ten. Jackpot!
The machine lit up, lights dancing around as the winning noise blared. “Holy shit!” It wasn’t the big winner, but you’d at least made back what you put in. You didn’t hear what he mumbled against your cheek, but you felt his hand finally dip lower, pressing at your clit through your panties.
“Toji!” He clamped his hand over your mouth with his free hand, the other using two fingers to rub gently at that sensitive bundle of nerves.
“Shhhh. So loud, everyone might just hear ya over the slot machine.” Murmuring against his hand, you tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but there was no use. “Go on, play again.” He commanded, slowing his hand down enough to let you better focus. You couldn’t stop the groan that worked itself out of your throat, or the way your hips rolled slightly to get more pressure to alleviate the aching need you were beginning to feel. The asshole.
‘Ignore him. Ignore him. Ignore him.’ You told yourself. ‘He’s acting like a damn child. Don’t give in and he’ll get bored and leave.’ Despite that mantra, your arm shook a little making you miss the coin slot the first time, dropping it onto the ground.
“Clumsy.” He teased, adding firm pressure before circling your bud. He nipped at your ear before blowing on it. You held back the heady whine that wanted to escape.
Not acknowledging him, you pulled another coin from the cup, this time managing to get it into the coin slot.
“Come on…come on…”
Seven. Seven. Cherry!
“Too bad, sweetheart.”
“You’re distracting me!”
“Distractin’ ya’ from pullin’ the lever?” He chuckled, pulling his hand away for a moment. Much to your dismay, you realized it was only so he could work it down your panties this time, the direct heat from his fingers feeling like heaven.
“Sh-shut up!” He was getting to you, and that wasn’t good. A man coughing the row over made you stiffen, looking around to see if there were any other bystanders.
“Don’t worry ’bout it sweetheart. No one’s around. And even if they were, they wouldn’t see a thing…” He pinched your clit between both fingers before massaging it between them. The sensation had waves of tingling heat down your legs, and earned him a poorly muffled moan. “they would just hear it.”
“Toji…” You flopped your head back against him, reeling from the pleasure. The thought of someone seeing you was a little thrilling, you couldn’t lie. But you weren’t gone enough that you’d lost all of your self-preservation. ‘Don’t give in. Don’t give in.’ “I’m still not giving you any money tonight.”
“That’s ok. I’m havin’ fun.” He sped up the movements of his fingers, an erratic, quick pattern. It was intense, drawing pleasure from you while not letting you settle into it, really feel it. Despite that, you were so close now, white knuckling the slot machine to keep yourself grounded. Then, just like that, he stopped again. “Tell ya what. Hit another jackpot for me, and I’ll let you cum. Be an extra good girl for me, and I’ll even help ya stay quiet.”
You could feel his own arousal poking into you through his pants, hard against your back. “And, if I don’t play along at all?”
“Then I guess I’ll just bend you over the craps table, make ya scream my name so loud the rich assholes on the top floor could hear ya.”
“You wouldn’t!”
“Try me.”
He said the words so smoothly, confidently, you honestly couldn’t tell if he was being truthful or not. Something told you not to try and find out.
“Fine…”
“That’s my girl.” He pat your head with the hand that wasn’t still stuck in your panties.
He began slowly again, massaging you with his fingers. That scorching heat fanning over your entire lower half. You took a moment to breathe before focusing on the task at hand. Another coin. Another pull of the lever. He sped up the movements again, you rocked your hips to meet his, grateful his foot on the bar at the bottom kept the stool from moving with you.
“So close.” He commented, as the red lights indicated another loss, and the loss of his movement.
Frustration and pent-up need coiled within you. An irritated hiss, another coin. Another loss.
“Toji, please.” He’d cracked the shell of your willpower now. “Wanna cum.”
“Guess you better hit that jackpot then, huh?” He pressed a loving kiss to your cheek.
“Why are you being like this?”
“I’m not being like anythin’. Just spending time with my woman.”
“I’ll give you the money.”
A deep chuckle rumbled from his chest. “Too late for that. This is way more fun.”
“Toooojiii.”
He pinched at you a little too roughly this time, making you squeak. Your panties were soaked and uncomfortably sticky. The wood stool was beginning to make your ass sore from pressure, and all you wanted to do, was cum all over his fingers before riding him back to the hotel room.
“Come on baby, I know you can do it.” He cooed so sweetly, you thought you might melt.
Dollar sign.
“Oh fuck!” You were grinding against his hand again.
Dollar sign.
You mewled, but he muffled it, sliding two fingers into your mouth. Eagerly, you sucked on them to focus.
Dollar sign.
The excitement of the jackpot was overwhelmed by the feeling of your looming orgasm. White heat exploded from your core, legs shaking and kicking against the stool. He pressed the fingers in your mouth down against your tongue, forcing you into silence. His other hand slowed down, but didn’t stop, gently working you through the oncoming waves and aftershocks.
The quickness in which he pulled away from you nearly gave you whiplash, a small trail of saliva lingering on your face. Then you realized why.
An attendant had come by, all smiles on his face. “Congratulations, Miss.”
“Th-thank you!” You sputtered out, knowing you probably looked like a mess.
“I can take you to the front to cash you out, I just have to verify the winning ticket. Per company policy.”
“Right of course.”
As he bent down to yank the ticket from the machine, you quickly patted yourself down, let out a few breaths to try and make yourself look more put together. If not for Toji wrapping a supportive arm around you, you’d have dropped like a sack of potatoes onto the floor, legs too wobbly still.
“Follow the nice man, baby.” He said, all but dragging you along behind the attendant.
Cashing out was like a blur, your brain on autopilot. Your ID, some signatures. How much had you even won? Not a clue, but it was enough that Toji seemed more than pleased.
Despite your earlier release, it wasn’t enough, that asshole had you craving more, and it didn’t take long before you were jumping his bones. The high of winning, the high of release. It had your brain all out of wack. Lips attached to his, arms around his neck the moment the elevator door closed.
“Easy now, mamas.” He pet your hair gently, prying you away from him as more people filled into the tiny metal room. You didn’t want to wait, you’d have him in the elevator itself if you could. Before you could resume your attack on him, the little ding trilled inside the box as the doors open. Within a second, he hoisted you up and over his shoulder, carrying you with one arm like a child.
“Toji!” You kicked about lightly, embarrassed slightly by the witnesses who caught a glimpse of him toting you away as the doors slid closed behind you.
“What? You didn’t seem to mind people watching when you were ready to pounce in there.”
“Shut up.”
“You’re too cute, I should take you on vacation more often.”
“Toji, just fuck me already!” An elderly woman gasped at you, clinging to her husband’s arm as she yanked him down the hallway towards where the two of you came from. You hadn’t the care to be shameful.
“Alright, alright. I’m gettin’ to it.” He dug in his pocket for the key card.
He had you on the bed within moments, back to the sheets, clothes strewn about the room. You weren’t even sure if he’d closed the door. You didn’t care, pulling him down on top of you by the cottony fabric of his shirt. “Faster”
“Who the hell you think you’re bossin’ around?” He asked, pulling your legs up. He squeezed your thighs together, rutting his wet cock between them, the leaking tip bumping against your overly sensitive clit with each movement. “I brought ya here on vacation, make ya feel real nice on my fingers, even helped ya win the jackpot. And instead of a thank you, what do I get? Faster. Quicker. Hurry up. Tch. Brat.”
“’M sorry.” You whined, lifting your hips up to try and get more of him. “Just want you so bad.”
“I have half a mind to just fuck ya like this and cum all over those bratty lips, then take half of my earnings back down to the slots.”
“W-wait!” You reached up for him making grabby hands. “Don’t, I’m sorry. I’ll be good, just want you to fuck me. Please.”
“How bad you want it, doll?”
“I’ll give you more than half.”
“That right?”
“Y-yeah, swear it. Please.”
The answer seemed to please him as he sunk himself inside of you, burying his length so quickly the wind was knocked out of you. No matter how many times you took him, that familiar burn as he stretched you open never went away - he was just too big. You loved it though.
“You got a deal, baby.” He leaned forward, folding you in half as he went. Ankles over his shoulders, your knees almost to your face. You leaned up to press a peck to his lips, before he pulled out, slamming back in so hard you saw stars circling your head.
“F-fuck!” You whimpered, circling your arms around his neck. He didn’t slow down, rabbiting his hips into you as the bed rocked and slammed against the wall. Hopefully you didn’t have any neighbors, but if you did, that was a problem for the later version of yourself that could feel embarrassment again.
“Suckin’ me in, shit.” He groaned, not letting up. “Could fuck this tight little cunt the whole vacation.” Where you were caged between his thick arms, he leaned back, detangling your limbs from him.”Touch yourself for me. Wanna feel that pussy clench when I fill her up.”
You followed his command, snaking your hand between you where your bodies were connected together, desperately pawing at your clit. The mix of both your arousal making it easy to pleasure the slippery bud. Still sensitive from earlier and the added sensation of his cock hitting every angle inside of you just right, it didn’t take long until you were spilling over again.
“Shit!” His hips lost their rhythm, his breath was uneven. He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut as rope after rope of sticky cum coated your insides. He wrapped an arm around one of your legs, using it as leverage to gently keep thrusting as he worked himself down from his high, not quite ready to pull out yet. “Too fuckin’ good, baby.” He complimented, finally pulling his softening cock out, and dropping your legs to the bed.
“To-”
“You don’t have to say it.” He cut you off, laying down next to you. “You wanna cuddle, I know.” He pulled you close to him, letting you catch your breath.
You humphed in response. “Was gonna say, ‘I love you.’”
“Love you too.” He played with your hair as he looked down at you, taking in your features. You were always the cutest like this, disheveled, tired, clingy. He brushed some hair out of your face, kissing your forehead then your lips. “Y’know, this could be a good opportunity for us.”
“Huh?” You asked sleepily, more focused on his heartbeat than his words.
“The money. I’m not gonna blow it all this time, I swear. Gonna play some on that lucky machine, the rest? I’m gonna spoil you. Get ‘Gumi back. Make sure neither of you want for anythin’ ever again.”
“Really?” You asked, falling closer and closer to unconsciousness.
“Yeah, gonna marry ya too. ’S time for a new last name anyway. New beginnin’s and all that.”
“You’re silly Toji.”
“Bein’ serious, sweetheart.”
“Ok. I believe you.” You didn’t.
But it was nice to hear anyway. “Well we’re in Vegas……you know what that means.”
“Hmm? Nah, doll, no way. I ain’t dressin’ up like Elvis just to marry ya.”
“Aww, c’mon. You’d look handsome.”
“No. No way.”
“Finnneee….we could still do it you know. They have non Elvis weddings.”
“We’ll see.” He cooed, pulling the blank over you both. “Get some sleep.”
“M’kay.” He didn’t have to tell you twice.
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AITA for acting apathetic about my chickens?
(CW for animal death/animal attacks)
I (14F) have had chickens my whole life. We usually have around 15~ at a time, and we get chicks that we raise around every 2 years. They live in my backyard, and me and my dad mainly take responsibility over them. I love chickens in general, but mine especially because I helped raise them. For a while, the chickens + my cats were my only friends. I just think they are neat.
Anyways, one big part of owning chickens is recognizing that sometimes they die. When the chicken is lucky, it lives 5+ years and passes from old age. Sadly, not all chickens are lucky. It is a garentee with having a flock of chickens that at least one will get eaten or attacked. If you have chicks, eventually you will end up with one that hatched sickly and it will die too. This definitely isn't a part of having chickens I like, but it's the truth.
I was talking with my brother (18m) about chickens recently and he brought up the time one of our chickens got snatched and eaten by a fox. He asked me if there was anything more we could do to prevent that from happening again, and I told him no, we've done everything we can. He then told me he hated that fox, and asked me if I did too, which once again I said no. More specifically, I told him that "I think it's sad, but obviously the fox was hungry. At least it got fed." My brother got flabbergasted, asking how I could say that. We had a bit of an argument on if that was an appropriate comment to make, where I ended up saying more or less the exact contents of the second paragraph. Now, my brother is insisting I don't care about the chickens and am heartless for thinking about them like that.
I disagree with him. I think you can acknowledge that death is a real possibility and still dislike death, and being realistic about bad things that can happen is important. I care a lot about my chickens. When they die, I dig a hole and bury them someplace pretty, and I always recite a prayer to them. They all have names, but truthfully I do forget them. I dig up worms for them as snacks, I hang up cabbages like piñatas for them to play with. They are safe, and I don't think being accepting about the fact they may die makes me bad.
Personally, I don't think there's an asshole here, but my brother does and I'm not completely sure. I would also like to add that I am autistic so other people struggle with reading my emotions, so my brother probably has good reason to think I don't care. I hope I wrote this written ok!
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tevanbuckley · 2 days
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Do you think it's fair to say that Bi Buck was completely ruined by the fandom assholish strike of hating on every LI he gets? Pls don't get me wrong I still smile every time I remember we got Bi Buck but I feel like whenever I want to be happy about it I remember the complete bs people pulled to the point of trying to get the actor who plays Tommy fired. I feel so guilty because now I kinda wish it didn't happen at all. I am sad that this peice of representation turned into something void of joy because of how the majority of the fandom act (let's be real yes the show is popular with gp but the fandom consists mostly of buddies)
I think at the end of the day the people they’re most ruining the show for is themselves 🤷‍♀️
they’re the ones who’ve become so parasocially intertwined with a ship that they can’t see the forest through the trees. All whilst we’re getting to enjoy a queer storyline that’s not only good in its own right but genuinely has the potential to widen the boundaries of queer rep more broadly.
like we moved past just how monumentally insane it was for a network tv show to make their reformed fuckboy main character canonically bisexual 7 seasons in way too quickly imo.
and idk if it’s that the fandom is (at this point) mostly hardcore buddie shippers or if they’re just very very loud. The amount of bucktommy fanfic produced since 7.04 alone is crazy and speaks to their popularity.
I’d also recommend staying away from twitter/tiktok with a 10 foot pole. idk how it happened but tumblr really has become the most sane fandom space. It’s also fine to just not engage with the fandom side of the show at all. 911 has been my comfort re-watch show for years and it’s only in s7 that I really got into the fandom. If this isn’t improving the viewing experience for you anymore then it’s okay to step back for a bit and just watch the show for yourself.
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anonymous-dentist · 2 days
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A very confusing day in the Merpepito AU
Richarlyson is being weird.
...Okay, so Richarlyson is usually weird, but now he's being super weird! Maybe he's dying. He has a worm in his brain eating it or something. Oh! Or there is a sea cucumber growing between his ears!
Pepito isn't a doctor, but he thinks that Richarlyson might actually be dying. Because there's no other reason why Richarlyson would be hanging out with Apa Roier so much.
It's been a week since the Sky fell, and maybe Richarlyson got hit by a piece of the Sky and his brain started bleeding, because he's decided that he's Apa Roier's new best friend. (Which is crazy because Apa Roier doesn't have friends! He always says so.)
Every morning, Richarlyson sits next to Apa Roier at breakfast. He helps Apa Roier with his chores. He brings Apa Roier cups of water when it starts getting hot out. He eats lunch next to Apa Roier. He tells Apa Roier that he'll take care of his afternoon chores so Apa Roier can take a siesta. He eats dinner next to Apa Roier. He calls Apa Roier cool, he says that Apa Roier is the strongest Pepito he's ever seen, he says that he hopes that Apa Roier stays forever on the ship.
It's weird! Richarlyson has to be dying.
...But maybe Apa Roier is dying, too, because he's been talking to Richarlyson a lot over the past week. He saves Richarlyson a seat at the table between himself and Captain Celbi, but he's never saved Pepito a seat. He says that he's going to teach Richarlyson how to fight, but he won't teach Pepito how to fight.
But it's fine! Pepito isn't upset at all! Pepito is happy that Apa Roier is making friends... even if his new friend is the person who hates Pepito the most.
Pepito doesn't interfere. Pepito keeps doing Pepito's chores: helping Richarlyson and Pomme mop the deck, helping Mister Pac sort through foods in the kitchen, helping Mister Felps tie knots. Miss Mouse says that she's gonna teach Pepito how to do magic soon, and Miss Baghera wants to teach Pepito how to draw and read maps.
Pepito likes being a pirate. It's super fun! Pepito likes the ocean, and Pepito likes the stars- and his best friend, the Moon. Pepito likes helping around the ship. Pepito likes watching Captain Celbi at the wheel. (He's so cool!)
...Pepito just misses Ama Rivers and Apa Carre and Apa Mariana and Apa Quackity and Awuelo Foolish and Leo and Empi and Sunny a lot. And Pepito thinks that Apa Roier misses them, too.
He has to.
But Apa Roier has been smiling a lot, recently. He smiles when he's near Captain Celbi, and he smiles when he's with Richarlyson. Sometimes he smiles when he's with Pepito, but not always.
He doesn't smile when he's talking to Captain Celbi about Pepito's brother. Bobby always makes people sad, though, so Pepito doesn't think about that too much.
Pepito thinks about Pirate Things instead, because Pepito is going to be the Best Pirate Ever!
Apparently, Pepito is a really Good Pirate because Captain Celbi wants to talk to Pepito alone in his office!
Pepito is sooooooo getting promoted! He won't just be the ship's Pepito, he'll be the ship's Pirate Pepito. He'll get a fancy pirate hat and everything; Richarlyson doesn't have a fancy pirate hat, so Apa Roier is going to look at Pepito and pick him up and tell him that he's such a Good Pepito that he's going to sit with Pepito at dinner and teach Pepito how to fight!
"Now, Pepito, I called you in here for a very good reason," Captain Celbi says as soon as Pepito is sitting (evilly!!) in the chair in front of his desk.
Pepito nods, serious.
Captain Celbi takes that as a sign to continue: "I understand that you're Roier's son?"
Pepito nods. Pepito is Apa Roier's Pepito!
Captain Celbi sighs, relieved. "Okay, good."
And then Captain Celbi's face falls. He almost looks ready to cry- his face is all red and his eyes are all wide and he looks really super freaked out.
"What does your dad like?" Captain Celbi asks, face all scrunched up like he's in pain. He sticks his hands up under his hat and pulls at his hair so hard that his knuckles knock the hat off of his head. The pointy things on the top of his head lay flat, unable to be seen through his hair.
Pepito blinks. Apa Roier likes Bobby? But, no, Bobby just makes Apa Roier cry. Hmm...
Captain Celbi groans and slumps back in his chair, his wrists and arms covering his face.
"He's impossible," he moans. "Every time I've tried subtly asking him, he's just shrugged!"
That sounds like Apa Roier. He's never liked talking about himself. Pepito didn't even know his name until all of the other Ocean Pepitos yelled at and made Apa Roier take Pepito home.
"He's always just-" (Captain Celbi's Pointy Things twitch, and he pitches his voice up in an impression.) "-'Hey, man! I don't know, man! I like lots of things, man! I like fish!' Like!" (He drops his impression and his hands, sitting up in frustration.) "What fish!? We're on the ocean! There are lots of fish in the ocean!"
Pepito nods sagely. There are lots of fish in the ocean. Captain Celbi is very smart, that's why he's the captain!
Captain Celbi rubs his eyes with his thumb and pointer finger.
"He deserves something nice," he sighs, much quieter and much calmer. "Better than fish. He deserves... gold. Silver. Diamonds. Rubies. He deserves good things."
Apa Roier has never been one for shiny things. That's always been Apa Quackity, even though he can't ever afford anything shiny because of how many times the Sea Witch has blown up his house with Sea Witch Magic, and Awuelo Foolish, who is basically the King of the Reef.
Apa Roier likes fish. He likes Bobby. He hates pirates. He likes crabs. He likes blue and red coral. He likes Miss Niki's candy. He likes-
Captain Celbi looks at Pepito seriously. "I need your help, Pepito. I want to get your father a really nice gift. It has to be perfect."
Pepito looks at the notepad on Captain Celbi's desk.
Following Pepito's gaze, Captain Celbi slides the paper over along with a pen.
Pepito hums, and he thinks. What does Apa Roier like most?
Aha!
Pepito draws exactly what Apa Roier would like! Once he's done, he flips the notepad around to show Captain Celbi with a triumphant grin.
"Pepito," says Captain Celbi, smiling only a little, "that's a picture of me."
Pepito nods. Captain Celbi makes Apa Roier really happy! The perfect gift!
Captain Celbi sighs, and he leans across the desk to ruffle Pepito's hair.
"That's a good thought," he says, "but let's try and think of something I can buy him."
Ooooooh! Okay!
Pepito turns the page and starts to think again. Something you can buy...
Oh! Pepito knows!
So, Awuelo Foolish has this friend named Mister Vegetta, and Awuelo Foolish wanted to give Mister Vegetta the BEST gift ever. So Awuelo Foolish found the most perfect shell at the Bottom of the Ocean, and he put it on a string of kelp, and he gave it to Mister Vegetta, and now they're Best Friends! They have sleepovers every night and they kiss a lot, which Pepito thinks that Married Pepitos do, but Awuelo Foolish and Mister Vegetta aren't Married Pepitos yet, they're just Best Friends who make each other super happy.
So Pepito draws the shell, and he draws the string, and he even draws Captain Celbi giving Apa Roier the necklace.
He holds the picture up to Captain Celbi, and Captain Celbi grins.
"That's perfect, Pepito," he says. "The next time we're near a beach, you and I are going to find your dad the perfect seashell."
YES!! Another secret mission with Captain Celbi!
Take that, Richarlyson! You might be friends with Apa Roier now, but are you going on secret missions with the captain? Nuh-uh!
Pepito is the best pirate ever!!!
--------
To Be Continued...
84 notes · View notes
gravehags · 1 day
Text
let the devil in
Pairing: Cardinal Copia x f!Reader (Curator!Reader)
Rating: EXPLICIT, MDNI
Tags: OH THEY FUCKIN, PinV, loss of virginity, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, improper timing of satanic prayer, lots of ooey gooey feelings, secondo being a real one, stelline the rat makes a brief return, sister imperator being unsettling as shit
Words: 6,803
Summary: You have just about had enough of dancing around one another. It's now or never.
a/n: bro writing this had me shaking THIS IS IT, THE BIG ONE god i hope it lives up to my hype
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The remainder of your time off passes without incident - for better and for worse. 
Copia has been lovely - a perfect gentleman - but as much as you appreciate his sweet words and his kind heart, you’re left wondering why he hasn’t made any…advances towards you. When your kisses turn heated he shies away and you don’t pursue the issue, wondering if you’re just coming on too strong. Wondering if he regrets the evening you spent together on New Years Eve. You try not to let it get to you but every night you lie awake, staring up at the ceiling worried that he has regrets. Part of you - the part that sees the sincerity in his eyes when he dotes on you, the logical part - tells you that he’s just being cautious. The other part of you…well. That little parasite is constantly in your ear telling you he’s just being kind - too kind to rip the bandaid off and break it off with you. Back and forth these two sides play tug of war and you’re the one left to suffer in silence. And it’s not just your mind that suffers but your body. Your body aches for him, your fingers frantically pressing against your clit in a poor imitation of the curve of his cock. You crave his touch and are filled with sadness as you watch the bruises his fingers left on your thighs yellow and fade. You want to bring your concerns up to him but the fear that the awful little parasite in you has been right all along keeps your mouth shut. So you let him court you - bring you more flowers (dark red peonies this time, you dried the roses he gave you the moment they began to wilt and now the bundle hangs from your bedroom mirror), hold your hand on your daily walks, eat by your side - and hope that through sheer force of will he seeks out your embrace once more. You’re almost relieved when you start back at work again, able to keep your hands and mind busy with something other than your unsettling thoughts and anxiety-fraught fledgling relationship.
Copia feels as if he’s going mad.
Not from you, never from you but…his desire for you. The way his body and his mind relive the feel of your cunt pressed up against him, the heat and wet pushing against his clothed cock. He clenches his fist and shifts in his office chair, the wood creaking beneath him. He’s trying his best - his very best - to be good and sweet and docile for you. To treat you like he wants to, like he knows you deserve. But his want for you is all-consuming, dogging him day and night, in your presence and without it. He wants your body - wants to corrupt your body - true, but more than that he wants…you. Hungers for your soul, your love. Wants to crawl inside your veins and make a home in your heart. He’s told you he loves you, true, but would the extent of it scare you off? He’s torn by wanting to confess the darkest parts of his passion to you and keeping you at a safe distance, like a porcelain doll on a shelf. New Year's Eve left him reeling, dizzy even as he slept beside you that night and you curled into him. You’re so good to him - far better than he deserves - and he can feel the lust radiating off of you whenever your kisses become heated. The devil whispers for him to let go, let you untether that beast inside him that he tries so hard to muzzle. The chain that holds him back weakens day by day, every moment you give him that look from across the couch or the dinner table he’s closer to ruin.
Which leads him to today. 
You’ve popped by his office on your lunch break, standing by the windows and holding his hands in yours. 
“Come over to my place tonight?”
He’s about to answer when there’s a knock on the door and it swings open. When he sees Secondo standing there he drops your hands as if burned and takes a step away from you.
“Mi scusi, I’ve interrupted something,” Secondo turns to leave but Copia calls out.
“No, no. Eh, nothing interrupted. She was just leaving - weren’t you, signorina?”
He immediately regrets his choice of words when he sees you jolt as if slapped at the cold tone of his voice and the return of your old title. Secondo’s sharp gaze flicks back and forth between you and him but he remains silent.
“Y-yeah. Okay. Sorry, Secondo. Goodbye, Cardinal.”
Ouch. He deserves that. As does he deserve the way you leave and shut the door behind you without a second glance back to him. Anxiety sinks heavy in his stomach as he lowers himself to slump on the end of his desk. He nearly forgets his fratello is there when the imposing papa clears his throat.
“Che cazzo, stronzo?” he barks, making Copia wince and fold in on himself. He’s not sure if it’s wiser to play dumb or fess up to his feelings but judging by the steely look in Secondo’s eye, he’ll take nothing less but the truth.
“It’s…a long story.”
“No it isn’t,” Secondo snarls, stalking over to him and jabbing him in the chest with a long finger. “You’re being chicken shit, aren’t you?”
Leave it to Secondo to suss out the reality of the situation in a heartbeat. Copia shifts himself out of poking distance and rounds the desk to collapse in his chair.
“I…eh…sì.”
Secondo crosses his arms and stares down at him imperiously.
Copia reaches up and rubs the bridge of his nose, unsure of how much detail to give him. Judging from the look on Secondo’s face, he wants to hear all of it.
“So we…got together. The night of the Yule gathering. I walked her back to her rooms and we… eh…made out along the way. We got to her place and she invited me in and I…I wanted to treat her as she deserves, sì? Flowers, dates, chocolates, the whole shebang. So I told her that. Then she–”
His voice cracks and he clears his throat, the mere memory of the incident enough to rile him up.
“She tells me she’s a virgin. A virgin, Secondo. Sathanas, I nearly grabbed her and had her in the damn hallway.”
Secondo makes a noise, his eyebrows rocketing up. He’s clearly not unmoved by this information either.
“So after that I…I try my best - my fucking best - to keep my composure. And maledetto inferno she did not make it easy, the little minx. And then I asked her out on a date. Our first. We went to Lucia’s on New Year’s Eve - came back, opened a bottle of champagne and well. Things escalated.”
“Did you…?”
“No,” Copia says hastily, “I mean…we didn’t do nothing but she remains ah…intact. Since then I-I don’t know what to do. The way she looks at me, the way she kisses me, touches me…”
“Fratello,” Secondo says, leaning against the wall and crossing his legs at the ankle, “forgive me but I’m not seeing the problem with a beautiful, young virgin desiring you.”
“No, no, no, that’s not it,” Copia says, “it’s not what she wants that scares me…it’s what I want. Secondo, I love her more than anything, desire her more than anything but…I’m afraid if she sees the extent of my passion, my obsession with her I’ll…I’ll drive her away. Like everyone else, sì? So I restrain myself at every turn.”
Secondo nods, quiet for a moment before speaking carefully.
“Copia, have you considered telling her any of this? That perhaps maybe sharing your fears with her - someone who loves you very deeply in return - will help alleviate your angst? Not to mention you’re probably driving the poor girl mad with lust, vecchio cane.”
Copia snorts and Secondo smiles.
“You two were so blind for so long, unwilling to see the feelings you had for one another when to everyone else it was obvious. She was made for you, and you for her. I’ve seen you chase after a few people over the years, fratello, and you looked at none of them the way you look at her. So tell her. Show her, for fuck’s sake. You know full well how many in this abbey would kill to be in your position, huh? Terzo, for one, which is why this stays between us, sì? You need to make your move before he catches wind of her…condition.”
Copia nods vigorously, heaving a deep sigh and tipping his head against the back of his chair.
“Grazie, Secondo. For listening, as you always have.”
Secondo nods solemnly before pushing himself off the wall and making to leave.
“W-why did you come in originally?” Copia asks.
Secondo shrugs and winks his white eye.
“Brotherly intuition. Ciao, Copia.”
With a little wave the papa is gone and Copia sighs.
He’d come see you tonight. It was now or never.
You make sure to stay out of Copia’s way the remainder of the day, more confused than angry. When he’s with you he’s hot and cold - professing his love but ultimately shying away from your touch - and when you’re around others, well. With Terzo he’s possessive, with Secondo he’s jumpy. What is going on in that head of his? Well. Doesn’t matter. You’ve already made your mind up to go to him tonight and sort things out. He’s got confession duty until eight which gives you plenty of time to…prepare. A shiver runs through your body at the implication that if you play your cards right, tonight could be the night. Perhaps…you look at the small bundle of keys on the lanyard around your neck, sorting through them to find a specific one. He gave you the key to his rooms last week. Perhaps he would be more ah…pliant…to your desires were you to simply be…waiting for him. You giggle, actually giggle aloud, in your empty office. He’s not going to know what hit him.
You’re distracted the rest of the day, head filled with plans and scenarios, and you move through your tasks mechanically. When Sister Imperator drops by to give you a heads up about another painting she bought at auction she gives you a curious look. She’s been kind of weird around you since after the break - looking at you shiftily during meetings - and you’d be unsettled by it were your head not already filled with other things. When she turns to leave your office, she casually tosses “why don’t you take the rest of the day, hmm?” over her shoulder. You sputter, baffled as to how she seemed to know, and she turns around to give you a tight smirk before leaving with her red stilettos tapping on the marble. You’re holding your breath watching her retreat down the hall and you look at your watch.
3:21 PM
You’ve got hours but there’s a lot you have to cram in before then. First to head to the dining hall and wolf down a meal, then to Primo for a restock of your…meds, then to your quarters to shower and figure out what you’re going to wear. 
Better get going.
By the time you finish your tasks and return to your quarters, it’s 5:36 PM. You were waylaid by a group of siblings after you left Primo’s greenhouse who politely asked you to help them take pictures for the Ministry’s social media account. Dropping your keys and phone on the side table, you strip and leave a trail of clothes on the way to the bathroom. Your shower is swift but you still make sure to use your best smelling products. You go through your skincare routine and step out to look at the clock next to your bed.
6:17 PM
Shit. You feel like you're pushing it and you’re glad you ultimately decided not to wash your hair tonight. Padding out into your bedroom, you open your drawers and rifle through them. You wanted something that gave the impression you were…his for the taking. Something soft and well…virginal. When you pull a knee length cream colored silk nightgown out of your pajama drawer you make a loud noise of appreciation. A little wrinkled, maybe, but you doubt he would care. Tossing your towel on your bed you pull the slip over your head, shivering at the touch of the cool material. Your eyes travel to the top of your dresser and you spot your perfume - the one you know he loves - and give yourself a few spritzes before touching his gold grucifix on your collarbone. That should do it. But now you have to get from your quarters to his and somehow you think doing so in a thin nightgown isn’t the wisest decision so you grab your robe and wrap it snugly around you. Stepping into your slippers you walk out of your room and grab your phone and key, taking a deep breath.
It’s now or never.
The journey up the two floors to Copia’s quarters passes without incident, unless you count the siblings who saw your attire and gave you funny looks. Your hands are shaking - actually shaking - as you reach his door and unlock it, stepping inside. It’s dark.
“Shit,” you hiss, fumbling for the switch. When you manage to locate it and flip it on, the room is bathed in a soft yellow glow. His quarters are nice - not that yours are a dump, by any means - but the level of decorative detail has you inspecting every corner of his living space. Looking around you remove your robe and set it on a chair by the door. When you hear a few squeaks you shuffle over to the large rat cage in the corner, cooing at the little faces peering up at you. Stelline stands on her hind legs, nose snuffling in your direction.
“Hello, little loves,” you murmur, “I’ve got to be nosy for a second so you stay put, okay?”
When Stelline lets out a particularly loud squeak it makes you laugh so loud you clap your hand to your mouth. Before any more objections can be made you head to the other side of the room, past the wall of leaded glass windows, and through a doorway on the left. A small kitchen. Cute. Which means the other doorway leads…your heart thuds as you approach the darkened alcove and turn on yet another light switch. 
Copia’s bedroom.
It feels forbidden to be in this space and you step in cautiously, expecting at any moment to get busted for breaking and entering. It’s a decent size room - bigger than yours - with dark wood paneling and tapestries on the walls. There’s an empty fireplace on the left and a large dresser, as well as a high backed chair. There’s a doorway which undoubtedly leads to his bathroom and…there it is. A large four-poster bed with dark red hangings and matching covers. You swallow thickly, stepping over to it. This could be it, you think, running your hands over the duvet. This could be the place where y—wait, what’s that?
There’s a scrap of black peeking out from under his pillow and curious, you reach for it. When you pull the item out, your jaw drops.
Those. Those are yours. Your…
“That little pervert!” you crow, veins flooded with warmth at the thought of what he did with your underwear. Your dirty underwear. Filthy man…filthy delicious man. Well who are you to deprive him of his simple pleasures, you think as you stuff the garment back under the pillow. Should everything go right tonight you’ll tease him about it…afterwards. Shaking your head you look down at your phone.
7:21 PM
Still got about forty minutes to kill, assuming confession doesn’t go over. Suddenly you’re kicking yourself for rushing all day and walk over to the chair to plop down. Hopefully a little time on your phone will pass the minutes.
You’re on your…how many games of solitaire was this?...when you hear the distinct sound of a key in a lock. You can feel the blood drain from your face as you set your phone aside and grip the arms of the chair. When he enters and shuts the door behind him, making his weird little noises, you can’t help but smile. 
“Buonasera, i miei bambini!”
You can hear him scoot over to his rats, sighing deeply. He talks to them for a few moments before his footfalls begin to approach where you are. He’s got his biretta in hand as he spots you and stands frozen in the doorway, mouth agape.
“Hey,” you say, slowly rising out of the chair.
It takes him a moment to speak, too distracted by your outfit.
“Cara…” he breathes, setting his biretta down on his dresser, “I-I was going to come to you tonight.”
“Hmm, well,” you shrug, “beat you to it.”
There’s a ringing silence between the two of you, your heart thundering against your ribs. You take a step towards him.
“Copia, you don’t have to hold back. You don’t have to…have to hide from me. I love you. You know that.”
“Sì,” he whispers, “but do you know how much I love you? How I would do anything for you - to you - if you let me? Dolcezza I–”
“So what if I let you?” you ask, taking another step towards him. “What if I want you to? What if I’ve always wanted you to? What if you’re the only one I’ve ever–” you take two more steps towards him until you’re a breath apart, “--wanted to?”
He exhales shakily, breath stirring the hairs around your face.
“I’m giving you permission, Copia,” you breathe, “I want you to take, and take, and take from me until I have nothing left to give. I’m yours, my love. I’m–”
You don’t finish your declaration - don’t get a chance. Copia lunges at you like an animal, wrapping his arms around you drawing you snug against his chest with his lips pressed against yours. He’s never kissed you like this before - like a starving man - lips and teeth and tongue mingling with yours and peppered with groans and growls. He’s holding you so tight he squeezes the breath from your lungs as he nips at your throat, ravenous.
“Mine,” he growls, “amata mia. I’m going to make you sing, bellezza.”
When he licks along your carotid you gasp, and gently push at him.
“Let me undress you,” you breathe as you pant, “please Copia I want to see you.”
Copia pauses and pulls away to rest his forehead against yours before nodding. When he takes a step away from you, you mourn the warmth of his body.
“Go on, amore mio,” he murmurs.
“I-I don’t know where to start,” you confess with a smile. He offers his hands out to you.
“Here.”
This act alone is far more intimate than anything the two of you have done before. You know how he is about his hands and when you reach for them your own shake. Your fingers slide up the palm and wrist, taking the zipper and pulling. Gently, you ease each finger out of its sheath and pull the leather away. His hand is…beautiful. Large, freckled - like the rest of him - with a dusting of fine brown hair and–
“What happened?” you ask quietly, index finger tentatively brushing against the scar tissue in the center. “Copia is that–”
“Sì,” he answers simply and you reach for his other hand to repeat the process. You want to know, want to ask why but stay silent and save your curiosity for another time. Once the other one is bare you take them both in your hands and look at him.
“Beautiful,” you say softly, keeping your eyes on his as you raise each palm to your lips and place a firm, lingering kiss at the center. Some of the raw hunger leaves his eyes - replaced with utter adoration.
“What’s next?”
“This,” he points to his grucifix. It takes you a minute of peering at his pellegrina before you see where the bejeweled accessory is hooked. Delicately you detach it and set it on the dresser.
“Next?”
“My fascia,” Copia whispers, gesturing to his belt. When you loosen it from his waist, the long red material sliding through your hands, he watches you intently. You fold the garment up neatly and set it aside.
“Cassock?” you ask.
He nods, guiding your fingers to his neck. Each button feels like an eternity and by the time you reach his waist he can sense your quiet frustration.
“We can cheat with this one,” he murmurs, grabbing the sides and inching them up his body before pulling the garment over his head. When the red wool falls in a pile on the floor, you regard it fondly.
“I don’t know if I can wait any longer, amore,” he says, standing before you in his clerical shirt, suspenders, and trousers.
“One last thing, please,” you say before darting away and into the bathroom. You rummage around in the linen closet for a moment before pulling out a rag and turning on the sink. When you return to him with the soaked cloth he looks perplexed until you raise it to his face.
“If I’m going to see you naked,” you say, gently wiping away the paint on his right eye, “I want all of you naked.”
He chuckles, hands behind his back as you remove every bit of the Cardinal you can find. When you finish, he takes the rag from you and tosses it to the floor.
“On the bed, amata,” there’s a darkness, a self-assuredness in his tone that would feel almost foreign to you if you hadn’t heard it first on New Year’s Eve. It makes a shiver run down your spine as you step over to his bed. He follows, toeing off his shoes and reaching down to remove his socks, mismatched eyes watching you like a hawk as you clamber onto the red duvet. He pauses at the foot of the bed and slides his suspenders off his shoulders so they hang by his sides before unbuttoning the first few buttons of his clerical shirt to expose a pale sternum covered in more fine brown hair. You blink up at him before taking a deep breath, sitting up on your knees, and pulling the nightgown over your head. The garment falls to the rug in a whisper and there you are. Bare. Your heart is in your throat as you lean backwards against the pillows, presenting yourself to him.
Copia doesn’t look hungry anymore. 
He looks feral.
When he presses his knee on the bed and slowly begins to crawl towards you, your breathing comes in pants. He urges your legs apart, spreading you open for him and eyeing the thatch of curls at the juncture of your thighs before situating himself between your knees.
“Dolcezza,” he growls, bare hands ghosting over your hips without actually touching you, “will you join me in prayer?” 
Your mouth falls open.
“N-now?” His eyes fall to the heaving of your breasts as you continue to take ragged breaths. The drag of his gaze along every dip and swell of your body makes your face heat up.
“Sì, amore mio. For when else am I to give thanks to Sathanas for this most blessed gift? What better place than right–” he hands touch your knees, making you jump, “--here?” His hands slide up your thighs as he shuffles forward to loom over you, breath dancing with yours. Mismatched eyes bore into yours, the corner of his lips curled slightly in a wicked smile.
You nod.
“Unholy Father,” he begins before leaning down to slot his lips against yours. The kiss is unhurried, decadent even, and when his tongue slides hotly along yours you whimper into his mouth. The chuckle that reverberates into you has your body arching into his, eager for his touch. You think he’s about to do just that when he pulls away, a lewd string of saliva connecting the two of you. 
“Today I give thanks for this–” he inhales deep through his nose “--glorious favor you have bestowed upon me, a most faithful son.”
He lowers himself towards you once more, to press open-mouthed kisses along your throat. With some hesitancy, you bring your hand up to his head and drag your fingers through his hair, causing him to groan. His tongue traces a path across your clavicle - briefly pausing to kiss the gold grucifix that rests there - and continues down your sternum. 
“For what greater honor–” he pauses to suck at the swell of your breast, “--can you provide than an eager–” his lips drag torturously close to where you need him, “--willing–” his tongue darts out to graze the taut bud, “sweet–” he hovers over your nipple, eyes trained up on yours, and his hot breath makes you shiver, “--virgin.” When he finally, finally lowers his lips to slip the hardened bud into his mouth you let out a keening moan. He sucks hungrily, teeth teasing at it and tongue soothing the catch of bone on flesh. 
“Copia, fuck,” you breathe, fingers buried in his hair to cradle him against you, “mmm just like that. Just like that, love.”
He rewards the endearment by bringing his hand up to your other breast and cupping the soft flesh in his large palm. When his thumb brushes over your nipple your hips buck again, and you can feel him smile against your skin. He wetly pulls off of you and you let out an undignified whimper at the loss.
“I have her heart,” he says, and you’re wildly confused for a moment before it dawns on you that he’s not done praying. The realization makes your head fall back against his pillows, your tongue sliding out to wet your lips. He’s abandoned your breasts now and has slid further down, hands on your waist. 
“I have her mind,” he places a soft kiss to the curve of your belly once - and again - before sliding down even further.
“Her soul–” he kisses the underside of your stomach once more, his mustache tickling you, “--I’m working on—“ 
When he glances up at you with a grin you smile back, deliriously enchanted, “--and her body…” 
His breath stirs the curls between your legs and your heart pounds. “...Is now mine.” The low, almost sinister tone of his voice makes you gasp, knowing full well what comes next. 
“Nema.”
“N-nema.”
He bows his head in reverence and taking his thumbs, spreads you open and drags his tongue through your slick folds. The sensation sends a shockwave through you, your back arching off the mattress as you squirm.
“Copia!”
His hands fly to your hips, gripping and kneading the flesh as he continues to work his tongue against you. He’s content to lap at your entrance for a couple of minutes before dragging the muscle upwards slightly and–oh. When he curves the flat of his tongue along your swollen clit he really has to hold you down. Your fingers cling to the silvered brown strands on his head, holding him against you and through your lowered lids you can see his hips minutely grinding against the mattress. You’re laughing, high and breathy, as he flicks the tip of his tongue against you, better than your fingers or any vibrator. When he moans into your cunt, fingers digging into your flesh you gasp.
“Fuck, my love, right there. Don’t stop, don’t stop, Copia please.”
He grins against you, mouth returning to gather the slick at your entrance and the tip of his long, large nose grinding against your clit. The sensation is overwhelming as your body thrashes and, you think deliriously, he’s definitely going to leave marks with how firmly he’s holding you. When he pulls away from you - no doubt to catch his breath - he leans up on his elbows a little and gives you a wolfish grin. 
“Dolcezza, what a sacrifice you make. Ave Sathanas.”
You laugh, grinning down at him as he returns to his task. When he wraps his lips around your clit and sucks, again and again, you know it’s over. You’re babbling nonsense, sweet little words of praise at your lover, as you feel that familiar wave begin to crest inside you.
“Copia, oh fuck Copia I’m so close honey.”
He hums around you, hips continuing to rut into the duvet as he devours you. When you no longer have the ability to form words, you moan, higher and higher as you grip his hair and the covers. He pulls away slightly, making you cry out in desperation but when he returns he gently nudges the tip of his finger inside you. It’s not enough to make any real impact but the knowledge that he’s simply toying with you as you thrash below him has you letting out breathy, hysterical laughter.
“So good for your Cardinal,” he pants, and when you meet his gaze you can feel yourself clenching around his finger. “So tight for me and I haven’t even filled you yet. Tell me - did you use your own fingers while thinking of me?”
“Copia pl–”
“Ah, ah, ah,” he chastises, licking his lips. “I won’t give you what you want until you answer me, amore mio.”
You’ve only seen glimpses of this side of him before - hints at what lurked below the surface but now that you’re being fully exposed to this Copia - self-assured and smug in his power - your hunger for him increases tenfold.
“Yes, I-I did.”
“How many?”
He asks the question with all the casualness of asking for the price of apples at the farmer’s market.
“D-depends. Sometimes two. Sometimes thre–ah!”
He doesn’t even let you finish before he’s easing a second finger into you, stretching you open.
“My fingers are much bigger than yours, amore,” he says as he begins to slide himself in knuckle deep. “We’ll start with two today to eh, warm you up, sì? Would you like that?”
He’s right - his fingers are a lot bigger than yours and when he pauses to gently crook them inside you your jaw falls open in a desperate moan.
“Y-yes. Yes! Fuck, Copia just like that. Please, my love, please.”
“You beg so prettily for me, dolcezza,” he growls, lowering his face to your cunt once more, “keep going.”
The sounds he draws out of you as he licks and sucks and fucks his fingers into you are unlike any you’ve made before. Somewhere in the back of your fuzzy mind you wonder if people passing by in the hallway can hear you but that only makes your hips buck into his touch even harder. You do as he asks and begs, promising him anything, anything as long as he doesn’t stop, please don’t stop. When you finally come apart, your muscles burn and you scream his name - fuck now you know someone heard that - as he presses against that sweet spot inside you. You don’t even notice him removing his mouth and pulling back so he can watch your face contort as you pant and sweat against his pillows. Your vision has gone blurry as you stare at the canopy above you, only somewhat aware of him sliding his fingers out of you and pulling back. You look up at him, sitting on his haunches looking both smug and full of affection, as he licks at the mess on his hand.
“C’mere,” you say, crooking a finger at him. He obliges with a smile, and when his face approaches yours you grab him by the back of the head and pull him in for a slow, wet kiss. 
“Mm–like the taste of yourself, ragazza mia? Filthy thing.”
You can feel his cock nudging you through his pants and you grind upwards against him. He growls into your mouth before pulling away.
“Don’t finish me before I get started, amata,” he purrs, leaning down to run his tongue along your jaw.
You laugh.
“That wasn’t you getting started?” you marvel, and he pulls back to give you a lewd wink. “Take these off, my love. I want to see all of you.”
He nods, sliding backwards off the bed to stand. You watch him intently as he finishes unbuttoning and untucking his clerical shirt before unfastening his pants and sliding them and his underwear down to step out of them. He’s…gorgeous. You always knew he was but seeing him like this - bare and freckled, the brown hair on his body abundant - you sigh. Something dreamy and romantic sits on your tongue until your eyes travel to the juncture of his thighs and your mouth runs dry. He crawls on his hands and knees towards you, settling in between your legs and stroking his thick, reddened cock.
“You, eh. You like it?”
You nod dumbly, unable to form anything coherent. His body is clearer now in this light - he’s got a scar on the right side of his abdomen and on his left pectoral you see–
“A tattoo?!” you splutter loudly. 
The self-satisfied smile on his face drops as he lets go of his cock and it bobs in front of him.
“Really? That’s what you’re focusing on?”
The ridiculousness of the whole situation hits you at once - the two of you nude, you being a virgin, him with his tattoo, both of you in this fucking Satanic abbey - and you tilt your head back and laugh. He growls and throws himself forward, caging you in underneath him.
“I show you my cock and you laugh?” he chastises you, mustache twitching as he fights back a smile. “Have some dignity, piccola vergine mia.”
Your laughter dies and you take in the flushed face of the man above you, strands of hair falling into his eyes. 
“I love you.”
His eyes get misty, as do yours, as he reaches up to cup your cheek.
“Amata mia, dolcezza mia, vita mia, tutto mio. Ti amo. Per sempre.”
He leans down and places a sweet, soft kiss on your cheek before nuzzling into it.
“Are you ready?”
You cup his jaw and run your thumb over his cheekbone.
“Have your wicked way with me, Cardinale,” you smile, your hips shifting up against his. The drag of his wet cock against the heat of you makes him groan.
“Diavoletta mia,” he growls, leaning back and taking himself in hand. You spread your legs wider, still soaked from your earlier activities, and present yourself to him. When his cockhead prods at your entrance, you jump and his eyes fly to yours for confirmation. You nod and gently, slowly, he pushes himself in. There’s no pain, only pressure, as he slides in, his breathing ragged in an effort to maintain control. When he bottoms out, your bodies flush to one another, you pant up at him.
“Y-you okay?” he stammers, clearly trying his hardest to restrain himself. You watch a drop of sweat slide down his temple.
“Copia,” your voice is calmer than it’s been all evening, “don’t hold back.”
You feel his arms wobble on either side of you at your words as he slides nearly all the way out of you and pushes back in. He repeats the action, each thrust gaining more force than the last. The feel of him stretching you is divine, hypnotic, and watching him slowly come apart above you even more so. He’s moaning desperately with each slide of his cock, his eyes frantically searching yours.
“That’s it, baby,” you breathe, canting your hips upwards to meet his thrusts. “Just like that. Don’t stop.”
When you experimentally clench around him he whines, his hands seeking yours to entwine your fingers. He fucks into you a little harder, little deeper with a shift of his hips, making you arch your back and press your breasts against him.
“S-so good,” he whimpers, “so tight, amore. So–ah–sweet for me, always.”
All you can do is moan in response as he jerks against you. You’re full - so deliciously full of him - and wildly you wonder how you went this long without him. This man that you adored so deeply - who adored you back - who always cared, always listened. You can feel tears prick the corners of your eyes and you whimper as you wrap your legs around his waist as tight as you possibly can. His movements are limited now by your actions but you don’t care - all you care about is keeping the two of you joined as close as possible.
“Amore, amore, amore,” he whispers, pressing his forehead against yours. Despite his thrusts no longer being quite as deep, they are no less forceful.
“Thank you,” you manage to eke out, “thank you. Vita mia. Mondo mio. You’re perfect.”
He chuffs out a noise between a sob and a pant, clearly moved by your use of language. The snap of his hips picks up and you can feel that pressure building inside of you once more. 
“Copia,” you whimper, “Copia I’m close, I’m so close, don’t stop. Please, my love.”
His fingers tighten in yours, palms slick with sweat and you feel yourself falling, falling. Your cunt spasms around him as his thrusts become wild, erratic and you feel wave upon wave of pleasure spreading from your core through your limbs and into your fingertips. It’s different from your usual orgasms - less violent, less frantic - but no less intense. You can feel the tears sliding down into your hair as you buck up against him, desperate to wring out every last moment of the feeling.
“Cara,” Copia’s voice is hoarse, “I’m–I’m going–”
“Let go. Show me how much you love me, Copia.”
Your command is all the permission he needs and lets out a low, broken moan of your name as his hips spasm into yours and you feel his seed pulse inside of you. Idly, you think about how glad you are that you visited Primo before this. You look up at the man on top of you and reach up to push his hair out of his eyes. His eyes are bright, white eye glowing, as he shakes and struggles to hold himself up. Gently, you ease him to the side, making sure to keep the two of you joined as he collapses next to you. You’re simply not ready to let go yet. The two of you tremble in each other’s arms, content to bathe in the heavy emotion. Your tears have dried and now a calm washes over you.
“Hey,” you murmur, fingers raking through Copia’s sweaty hair. He’s watching you carefully - every dart of your eyes and twitch of your cheeks - as if he’s anticipating something.
“Hey,” he says softly, reaching out to run his thumb over your bottom lip. “So was that, eh. Satisfactory?”
You snort and tug lightly at his hair.
“I think I can now say I’ve been thoroughly and successfully ravished, Cardinal. This must be quite a feather in your cap. You’ve made your Unholy Father proud.”
Now it’s his turn to snort.
“Just be thankful no one else found out about your, eh, former condition. You’d have had clergy and siblings and ghouls all lined up for you.”
“Oh,” you begin with a not-so-innocent tone, “so that’s why you romanced me, huh? Wanted first dibs?”
“Cara, no,” Copia says, deadly serious all of a sudden, “this isn’t–I would never–”
You laugh, dragging your fingers through his chest hair.
“My love, it’s been almost a year, I thought you’d be used to my stupid jokes now.”
“Ah!” he rolls his eyes and waves at you dismissively, making you laugh even harder.
You finally have to separate, his softened cock sliding out of you as you push backwards. When you try to swing your legs over the bed and stand a hand wraps around your bicep and hauls you back down to bounce on the mattress.
“And where do you think you’re going, signorina?”
“Well I was gonna go pee and then–”
Quick as a cat, he rolls onto you, grinning down at you.
“Bellezza mia,” he purrs, “I hope you didn’t make plans for the next few days. We have, eh, lots of time to make up for. And you,” he leans down and runs his tongue over your pulse point, feeling it thunder against your skin, “have so much to learn.”
When the two of you text Sister Imperator with suspiciously matching illnesses the next morning, she smiles to herself. 
All in Lucifer’s plan.
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