#and like say ill be back in an hour

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

pls reblog

#polls #hyperspecific poll #kai rambles #personal #doing this i realised how much if my weird experiences were either too depressing or violent to put as an option #or would need a lot more words to explain #i decided to skip out on ''had a local drug dealer try to groom you into being a mule'' #i find it funny because he tried it while my mom was in the room? #but im aware its a sensitive topic #i also did not know how to casually word the times my dad would randomly drive us to like some ruins in the english countryside #and like say ill be back in an hour #and then leave us there #because what the fuck even was that? #also how to explain that my maternal uncle and maternal grandad were in opposing local gangs that folded before i was born #but like in an alternate universe id probably be raised in a gang? #and also anything about my aunt meryl i dont know how to phrase any of that in limited words because she is just the most bizzare lady #i maybe could get the neck brace thing in where she accused me and my mom of stealing her neckbrace and handcream #and told us to never speak to her until we were ready to admit it except we didnt take it #and its probably coming up to a decade now

[medicalunprofessional]

#psychonauts #gristol malik #theodore malik #<-Yeah. Hes there #psychonauts 2 spoiler #nightmaretheater #time on canvas: 8 hours #also YES this is psychonauts fanart. I prommy. Iii prommy. its gristol when he was younger #rips my hair out rips my eyes out #Hi Ugly. Points at him #travel back in time and take him away from his parents Okay #you will get my message #as much as i hate him i feel he must be understood at some level. #im not saying we should excuse or forgive him. No. We need to understand why he turned out like that #(its his parents (he only knows propaganda)) #i have so much to say on the topic . i have been consumed by thoughts of him #kind of upsetting how the one guy with a cluster b personality disorder gets No Understanding in the Understanding Mentally Ill People game #<-once again. Not excusing his actions #also yeah sorry i had to unleash the rendering demons oops

[todayisafridaynight]

journalists underestimate the magnitude of my addiction and how far i'll go for the bit

#snap chats #im lying i physically could not marathon this i got school LMAO BUT IMAGINE #my god speaking of school i signed up for a japanese history class. because of course i did #i also needed an extra class and i didnt know what else to put LMAO but i might swap it or somn #thinkin i should get back into theater..... i got like two months to decide anyway #i was thinking about how im gonna play IW during streams... if the lord will let me i might stream for 2~3 hours or so #im putting such a small time limit due to Aforementioned School but also idk if my computer can record any longer than that #when i tried saving the video to my flashdrive it only lasted about two some hours right ? maybe 3 if i remember right #i decided to record to my computer's hard drive instead of the usb since it has more space so maybe i can record longer #ill prob do a test run later today and record a nonsense video. i WILL delete it i just wanna see what the limit is #cause my plan is to just Record One -> Upload It -> Delete OG yk. Lazy Susan type of plan #didnt mean to type out my whole gameplan in the tags LOL BUT HEY I WANTED TO TALK BOUT IT AT SOME POINT #my final message is that ive Hopefully preordered the ichi statue. i say Hopefully cause i am once again doing it through jp rabbit #and i didnt get the confirmation it was successful yet so I Will Simply Wait. #point is it was a lot cheapter than i thought it was going to be <3 yay <3 #ok im running out of tags tl;dr im gonna marathon IW until my eyes bleed BYYYE

[plulp]

whitney (design kinda mid but its alright ill deal with it)

#my art #dol #whitney the bully #will not lie while i was drawing this i was thinking about MY bully from elementary school (LMAO) #they do not look dissimilar. but thats unrelated and she wasnt that mean to me anyways i think we fought over classroom toys or something #we were good in middle school though #anyways what was i going to say #oh had to draw whitney full body a few times to be like. hey youre going to like this design. so thats where im at #looks better in cute style than my normal style though #ill have to figure that out somehow #also for the next few days probably no art because im going to do stuff and things :( sorry #but when im back hopefully ill be able to draw more but ill get as much done as i can 2 NITE #also THANK YOU so much for liking my OLD man drawing i posted previously #so glad everyone likes that design #when i was reading the tags i was like 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊 YAY!!!!!!!! yippee!!!!!!!!!!!! <- like that #im not very good at designing characters because i have terminal fanartist syndrome #but with how many hours ive spend on this game. ive dug up something out of my head that people like #so thats cool

[thedisablednaturalist]

Tw for weight loss mention

The whole exercise will cure your disability thing is a fucking joke. Yes exercise is beneficial for your health, but only if you aren't already on shaky foundations. You need to be on a treatment plan that WORKS before going into the maintenance phase. You wouldn't do regular maintenance on a broken item, you'd work on getting it up and running first. And maybe it would even need specialized maintenance afterwards if it's especially fragile.

I have fibromyalgia and acute degenerative disc disease. My immune system attacks my nerves and discs in my spine are slowly calcifying and causing the bones to constrict and damage my nerves (i think thats how it works). I have days where it feels like my body is on fire from nerve pain and days where it feels like my spine is about to rip from my back. And days where I have both (like today!). I get numbness in my hands and feet. I have horrible migraines. I can no longer walk unaided more than maybe 5 minutes without severe pain. I have something wrong with my knees and hips but the doctors don't know what yet.

You'd think I live an obviously seditary lifestyle correct?

Hell no.

I walk aided on average 6 miles a day over difficult terrain OUTSIDE of regular activity almost everyday. My legs are muscular and strong. I get my heart rate up and a good sweat, like all the gym rats swear on. I am often doing physical labor such as weeding, digging, sample collecting, pruning trees etc.

I'm not saying this to make other disabled people feel bad or prove that they can do anything if they just tried harder. This is an extremely painful lifestyle I've chosen that takes a lot of lifestyle management AND BOUNDARIES to keep up with the work. I also have an extremely forgiving boss who is also physically disabled and knows what I'm going through (deciding between your passion and your health and having to do so each and every day) No one should ever be expected to do what I do. I'm not even sure if I should be doing this myself.

This is to prove that exercise? Has not cured me. My muscles are strong but still hurt as if they're broken and I have to take more breaks than my coworker. I am constantly getting out of breath and I flare up regularly if I'm not careful. I am in excellent physical condition outside of my disabilities. I go to different doctors several times a month to get checked out.

I previously went through a diet program and lost a lot of weight (basically starving myself and got off my depression meds which cause weight gain but are also the only ones that work) and guess what? That didn't do shit either!!! I still felt horrible!!! I've since gained back the weight anyway after switching to focusing on adding more nutrient dense foods than taking stuff away from my diet (also muscle weighs more than fat, and fat helps cushion my aching joints and spine).

The muscle doesn't do shit for my disabilities outside of maybe some stability. Exercising everyday doesn't make the pain go away. Without my medications and aids and nutrition plans and steroid injections and spinal adjustments and physical therapy (that takes my fibro and spine into account) and alternative work methods I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I DO. Exercise alone is like trying to make a car run with no oil. Yes it'll go but it'll get more and more damaged till it can't and will need its entire engine replaced!

And yet I see new doctors and they look at me and the first thing out of their mouths is do I exercise? I should try doing a little every day :) and then i fucking blow their minds when I tell them about my job. No longer can they use that fucking cop out on me. I've been through this rodeo. Ive tried their suggestions. If you are in pain and nothing is helping? Exercise ain't going to do SHIT. You need to get to a point where you can move without severe pain first (if that's even possible). Then and only then should you consider implementing regular exercise if you can. Also weight loss talk is a red flag and a cop out. They made me lose 50+ lbs before they would look into the reasons behind my pain. Weight loss did nothing for me and exacerbated my pain.

I am living proof that all that shit is a lie and a cop out. That is the point of this post. I cannot believe people with serious medical conditions are being forced to put their bodies through extreme duress just to be believed. You are not disabled because of laziness or because you sit a lot. Plenty of people live seditary lifestyles and do not live in constant excruciating pain (they may develop disabilities later in life due to this however, and should be doing preventative exercises to maintain their health)

Please, share my story with doctors. Use me as an example. I am proof that "exercise first treat later" does not work. I should not have had to wait years to have my pain validated. I'd rather hundreds of fakers get (what? A blood test? An MRI?) than one chronically ill person get told to try yoga and go away by a doctor.

#wrenfea.exe #doctors and nurses dont fucking clown on this post #anything you say needs to be backed up by sources with apa citation thrown in for good measure #this is my personal experience dont tell me im exaggerating or just havent tried hard enough #i will kick you with my horse legs and then go lie down for 4 hours #bedbound people i am sending you so much love and will probably be joining you in a few years #chronic disability #chronic pain #spoonie #fibromyalgia #disability #chronic illness #from the field #physically disabled #this also applies to neurodivergent and mentally ill people but pls don't derail #this is mainly about physical disabilities #you are welcome to make your own post and reference mine if you want @ me and ill reblog it #sometimes im like oh i cant be disabled bc i do all this stuff im a faker inflatrating the community #and then i have days like today where i cannot leave my bed #i am so pissed off that people with long covid and ME have to go through that fucking exercise rehabilitation program #that actively makes their mitochondria worse #you wouldnt start using a vase without fixing the cracks first #the water will spill out and the flower will die #degenerative disc disease

[skitskatdacat63]

Hello guys!!!!! Aforementioned project is finally finished 🫠 It was meant to be just a simple weekend project, and ended up being 30+ hours over the period of like four days. I don't think I'm an actual normal human anymore. This is the project that caused everyone in my life to question my mental and physical wellbeing and health. But I'm super excited to share this all of you!!!! Please enjoy!!!! Even if you don't like vettonso, I hope this is still interesting????

If you make any, please reblog this or tag me in it! I'm excited to see what other people, other than just me suffering alone in my bedroom, make out of this!!! <3

#jesus christ i cant believe i actually made this 😭😭 #originally earlier last week i was like ahhh i wanna draw more of them in different eras(like the timeswap au) #and then randomly wanted to draw every single racesuit(nightmare) #and then im like WAIT I CAN MAKE A PICREW OUT OF THIS #no joke when i say i dont think i was a human this weekend #it was truly: eat. sleep. draw. eat. draw. sleep. draw. eat. draw. draw. sleep. #the screentime count on my ipad is soooooo fucking bad im ashamed dhfjfkkg #i dont think picrews are meant to be made in the span of a weekend #*weakly* i did it~ #again as i said in the description. please request if you want anything added!!! #i dont know if ill get to it immediately bcs i just spent 30+ hours psychologically torturing myself #i actually feel so ill JSJFKGLGLG but im happy w it and i wouldnt have gone back and changed any of the process #tho the evolution of 'im having so much fun' to groaning every time i opened up my ipad again was so funny #thank you so much to suzuki i could have never have done this without your support and encouragement 🥹🥹 #hoping this picrew works as a blood sacrifice to the good health and wellbeing of the amr24. the car that is launching today! #also istg i am going to dm shill and self reblog this with no shame. it is my magnum opus(as of now) #now i am going to sleep and not touch my ipad for a while djfkkglg #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #catie.art. #vettonso #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion

[mattodore]

lovesick

#hi 👋 i have a hospital appointment in two hours that i'm nervous about so here i am in my screenshots folder staring at mattodore #i really shouldn't be typing rn but i'm. a ball of nerves. like actually keep me in your thoughts... like please. jsfdhnkj #also i think i'm gonna start reblogging things untagged here for a little while........... bc like. #i really shouldn't be typing it fucks with my arms so bad..... i say as i'm typing #but ykwim like that's why i've just been avoiding tumblr lmao #um so if you for some reason care abt ppl not tagging reblogs of other people's sims content uh idk what to say bc i'm gonna do it anyway #so expect that from me until i (hopefully) get meds again #also............ i have not started editing theo's bday edit and it's literally tomorrow. Scream . #i finished the poses tho <3 but yeah... we laugh and cry #i want to say i'll just start editing after i get back from the hospital but. well. #it's okay tho bc if i'm late for theo's bday edit that's understandable bc of the Illness but also #matthias's bday edit was like a week late anyway so lmao #also no caption bc idk i can't think #wait nvm listen to this song #river dipping #ts4 #matthias evanoff #theodore doe #a burning house to live in #echthroi

[glowingsand]

now that i've read the chapter instead of just absorbing it through leaks....gojo's death painted as underwhelming and unsatisfying makes a lot of sense. it was supposed to be that way. he died with regrets just like everyone else. he didn't die all alone, despite what he told megumi. he chased his dream and fell short. throughout the story, he couldn't seem to find the right balance between selfishness and selflessness, which is why he loses himself while fighting (he even admitted this in today's chapter). which is why megumi isn't a priority while he's fighting sukuna. that's kind of why he broke so easily - where he's been trying to strike a balance between those two labels, his opponents have mostly embraced selfishness and become all the more definite in their identities. gojo never gave himself an identity other than being "the strongest", but even he couldn't figure out what that meant - that's part of his tragedy. yeah he's the strongest, but does that mean for himself or for others? what he does know is that for the most part, he can't control what happens to him. so he kind of loses himself in that uncertainty sometimes and goes crazy. ppl sometimes ignore this and turn to the misconception that just because he has noble ideals, gojo must be a hero but he's not. his entire character is tragic and unsatisfied, and his death resembles that as well.

#this is such an adhd coded post I'm so sorry the thoughts are really spilling T-T #pray for me to actually be coherent for once. but anyway this is something that's stuck out to me a lot #bc a lot of the fandom is pretty angry but like. this should've been expected?? #a character as tragic as gojo isn't gonna live a long and happy life you guys. #its sad yeah (says this like she wasn't in a state of shock for two hours) but it was coming. I'm ok w it #if gege brings him back though I'm gonna be pretty disappointed. keep him dead. keep him happy w his husband in heaven or hell or wherever #jjk #jjk spoilers #jjk 236 #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #ok ill be normal about this now sorry I've been posting about this nonstop since wednesday IM SORRY

[galpalaven]

why is taking a speaking test for english so scary i am always like oh god theyre gonna know i dont speak english

i do. i do speak english. i only speak english.

#anyway scored fluent so thats good #i think...? #im gonna get on ffxiv and destress a bit and then come back to do my next assessment in like an hour or two #bc i fell asleep early bc i felt unwell and now im Up #.....maybe. or maybe ill just go back to bed #I WILL say that watching the lil check marks and the badges I earn from completing these tests #is giving me a dopamine hit #and if this job doesn’t work out there are plenty of others on this website #which I am praying is not a scam fjdk

[caluski]

i URGENTLY need to get ice. like its not even funny. im so low on ice its bad out there (in my freezer). but i lost my thermal bag!!!! 🤕🤕🤕

#the ones you see by the freezer at siupermarkets suck unfortunately - they say they can keep cool/warmth for up to like 3 hours or w/e #but its not true... its soooo not true. before ill get back home from lidl my ice cubes will melt!!!! #i REALLY need to get a few bags tomorrow on my way home from work #pogaduchy

[deus-ex-mona]

man. this song reminds me of physiology class

#throwback to physiology class [x] years ago when this clique sitting behind me drank a sip of water every time #our lecturer said the word ‘infarction’ #they kept tricking her into saying the word which was pretty funny at the time #but that’s just what this song reminds me of with the frequency at which they say the phrase ‘white day kiss’ #of all of the new album songs to get stuck in my head… it’s this and abs. #can’t stop thinking about meoto but white day kiss is looping in my mind aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #i. i think i need some sleep. but my album’s supposed to arrive within the next 2 hours and aufhhfjfjjfjrjdjdjdjdhs #5-7pm delivery is too cruel of a delivery slot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #g god i really shouldn’t have stayed up for meoto… maybe i’d have a little more sanity then… #i keep going back to my tl to look for typos and im just. wondering if this song is really real. #like. dammit. promises to stay by each other’s sides forever???? even through reincarnation too??? #wh. what are the chances that we’ll get a meoto mv this week? (pls say more than 0) #i think we could all windows movie maker a 1-2 image white day kiss mv from the honeypre event illusts if we tried hard enough sooooooo #i sure hope that if any new song gets an mv this week it’ll be meoto!!!!!!! #pls lemme see them being in love all through the seasons ill c r y #ok i’ll shut up for now see you within 2 hours (maybe) when d to the h to the l finally gives me my album

[shalpilot]

that's enough projecting for one night maybe one day i will. elaborate on my ideas but also sometimes it's just enough to make angst about it instead.

#ggp #unrelated its not that serious i gotta get back to my therapist #i say this not bc i am traumatized but bc my coping mechanism has been. #you there. fictional man. bear the weight of my mental illness. #and i mean its been WORKING but like. should probably talk to a person. #a new person soon. hopefully. eesh. #god i hate COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY. SHUT IT. anyways cbt- #god its just like. so how are you feeling. and then im like this is how im feeling and shes like okay :) #and then... nothing. woosh. i just complain about my life for half an hour and thats it like #i can do that for free. #clearly

[jwooyoung]

so I had to go in the back room of the lab to get supplies just now and two of my coworkers (who just started dating) were back there looking at his phone they somehow did not notice me coming in and I heard her saying *awww omg he's just a little guy !! just a little little guy !!!!" and I catch a glimpse of his phone as they turn around thinking I was gonna see the dog he talks about all the time. nope ! it was a penis !

#I HAD TO LEAVE THE LAB SO I COULD LAUGH WHY TF DID SHE SAY IT LIKE THAT !!!!! #i cant go back in there they work RIGHT in front of me if i look at them ill fucking lose it !!!! #also ??? im assuming it was HIS so why in the world are you showing her this DURING WORK HOURS IN THE LAB ?? #cant stand these mfs i need to go home i still have THREE HOURS.... #j.txt

[todayisafridaynight]

twitter tl talkin bout translation inconsistencies in IW and ima be honest the only translation error ill die mad bout is the fact they refused to let masato call ichi a pussy in the english dub of Y7

#snap chats #i am still miffed about it because it wouldve made me giggle because im FIVE #this truly and honestly my most controversial post i am prepared for my cancellation its been fun team #anyway only bringing this up cause apparently yoko mad a tweet addressing everyones misgivings about the translation differences #also i was rewatching masato clips because im perpetually ill #but yeah no its funny cause EEEEVVERYONE cross like even JP players Allegedly like it got me wanderin HOW diff it is #theres probably a convo to be had but im gonna take pride in my Dumb American status and just say i dont know japanese for piss #anywy i want this class to end so i can be an hour closer to playing IW again #im gon finish chapter 9 and THEN i can finally get back to dondoko ... i hope .... #unless theres ANOTHERRRR kiryu chapter .......

[bluesidedown]

hnggghhggg

#just realized a little too hard that im packing my entire life up into a single suitcse and hitting the road for a month. in a month. #im also turning 24 in a month #both of these things perturb me in some direction or another. #its also 1030pm but i am Vibrating unfortunately #also realized vividly today that ill be attending my college graduation less than 48hrs after landing back in canada #and that will be after 30+ hours in transit coming directly from a 12 hour time difference #so that'll be fun #not really how i imagined graduating when i started my freshman year? #actually dear lord i could not have fathomed Being Here when i was 19 and starying college #i remember hearing about the program im currently doing and thinking 'wow that's incredibly cool but im just not the kind of person #who can do that sort of thing' #i still periodically have moments where i just look around and have to be like Yes I Really Am Here #and yeah turning 24. in a month. that's far too grown up of an age for how i feel inside. #and yeah trvaelljng to 5 vountires in a month again? wild. #didnt think anything could top seeing the great pyramids for out of body wild experiences And Yet. we sure are gonna be going some places. #also being in a serious relationship huh. didnt think this was going to happen until i was 35 if ever. #skmeone needs to tell me why my brain decided to watch wedding dress youtube shorts today with a vague expectation that might be relevant #to my life within a decade. #so yeah all that to say my life feels fucking insane to me. #I Am Not Qualified For This Experience Help #(this is not entirely negative im just ??????)

[arsonist-chicken]

btw in absolutely unsurprising news I fucked up the exam of that class I'm taking for the third time badly again.

in very surprising news, apparently Something happened, idk if the dean said something to the professor or I looked like a distressed broken down wet rat enough or he just doesn't want to see me in his class again or idk, maybe it's not good for him if someone fails his class three times, but he actually offered that I could do a written exam on friday instead? which. is extremely surprising. good, because it gives me another afternoon to study and I can draw and go back to questions on a written exam, even if I have to shuffle around the other exams and papers now, just. very surprising.

#lol but next semester is the fucking seminar again with also the same professor #idk how you can teach such shitty classes regularly and never think hmmm maybe i should change something #with the amount of people having to take the classes at least twice #anyway good for me i'll keep crying over uni the rest of the week and the weekend too and then i'll do stuff next week #like i need to call my insurance and annoy them in person until they say yes to any therapist who will have me #and call the other thing #and oh i really need to find a different GP because i'm soundly back at the stage of where i can literally not think two sentences #after each other without trailing off or it taking up extremely much energy just to remember which store i wanted to go to #and i'm aware that stress and mental illness causes brain fog or whatever #but i've been stressed before but this only started last autumn and i need a different doctor to look at it #who won't just say oh it's just iron levels #there's something wrong with my brain and i need someone competent who actually cares to look at it and tell me #if therapy will fix this or if it's a physical problem #please let it be just brain fog htat therapy can fix i don't have time for this #i just want to sleep and cry until this bs is over but semester break starts next week but i still have exams then and a whle list of #stuff to do for uni still plus stuff otuside. like a doctor. and sleep a normal amount instead of in weird horu intervals on my desk and in #my clothes on my bed or floor or wherever i am at the moment my brain decides it's over now #also friends. i wanted to catch up. also a job. like. yeah i need a job even if idk how i'll do uni and a job with the way my brain is righ #now #huh. oh i have another exam in half an hour. send help i don't want to go to uni anymore #mine #still don't know what that class or the seminar next semester are about btw but we moce #*move #goddamn it I'm TIRED and not just in the physical sense #i'm so goddamn done with uni and insurances deciding about psychotherapy and the general state of the world and cost of living #and i miss my friends and i want to visit them but nither them nor me have time and travelling is expensive #and ijust want a goddamn fucking break but i don't see one comign anytime soon. not before summer #but probably not even then #and after that i'll start working so like #at least no goddamn seminars anymore but i still absolutely dread having to decide where i want to work a