shalpilot

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"I'm sure there's not gunna be anything offensive to Robots in this game"

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OH MY GOD APPARENTLY TAKING AN ARROW TO THE KNEE WAS AN OLD NORDIC SLANG FOR GETTING MARRIED 

I THOUGHT THAT ALL THOSE GUYS IN SKYRIM HAD LITERALLY BEEN SHOT IN THEIR KNEES WITH ARROWS BUT I GUESS NOT

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Margaret Wise Brown, The Runaway Bunny

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I need to (remembers to not make casual suicide jokes in order to encourage a more outwardly positive mindset and healthy conversational environment in my day to day life) kill myself

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I hate waiting for things to stop being popular so i can enjoy them

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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

#shrimps is bugs

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“So how many of you follow the King of Iron Fist Tournament? You know with Paul Phoenix and Marshall-” [loud audience applause] “It’s fun! It’s fun right? Well this time it will be The King of Iron Fist Tournament 4. A lot of people don’t know this, but they wanted me to be in the first tournament.” [audience laughter] “No it’s true it’s true! I used to do Tae Kwon Do before I did radio and when Heihachi, can we get a picture of Heihachi?”

“…..Oh he still got that hair? Huh…. Well so when he announced the first King of Iron Fist Tournament everyone told me; oh you should join and compete! But, you know. Its the first time it’s happening. You don’t know who’s going to be there right. Someone like The Killer could’ve shown up. You never know! So I didn’t join but you know I keep up every time. I did Tae Kwon Do right, but I was a big fan of Kazuya and his uh uhm Karate style. Very impressive. You know Kazuya Mishima?” [middling applause] “No? So he was Heihachi’s son and the heir to the Zaibatsu. He died 20 years ago fighting in the second tournament. If I’m being honest.” [break to sip tea] “If I’m being honest, I think Heihachi might’ve had a hand in it. ALLEGEDLY, allegedly. But, you know.”

“So the news is Kazuya Mishima is in fact alive and will be competing in the King of Iron Fist Tournament 4”

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Impact

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i hate this stupid fucking video my girlfriend keeps playing it when we’re sharing comfortable moments of silence and it’s ruined by this stupid fucking orange slut getting water boarded by toothpaste

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speaking of

#ffxiv #ffxiv wol #au ra #ocs #oc: kiriltugh #geese art #maybe in the future i will open up WOL comms

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I know your mainly focused on ffxiv nowadays but i always chuckle seeing your little grumpy blue law icon on my dash. You’re talking abt some sort of horned dragon men and I’m here for it but law is forever unimpressed

not going 2 lie... enjoy him while he lasts i want to make a new icon soon

he kinda got put there during my Oh God Oh Fuck moment and while i do like him i would like a kiril icon heehee

#ask shal

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hot items

#i can’t stress the impact this comic has had on my comedic timing #like genuinely

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time to see if my old mpreg player works ahhh!!!

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also here’s the wifi password

#ffxiv #g’raha tia #ffxiv spoilers #I. GUESS. #geese art

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has anybody seen my pet piece of paper. his name is walter he is very fragile but very adventurous. i should never have left the window open in my tenth story apartment

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just saw a single piece of paper drift past 50 feet in the air over buildings like a beautiful white bird