#and joy and happiness out of everything

[running-in-the-dark]

had one very short interaction with my mother-in-law and once again I think I won't get through living here until the end of March :)

#she drives me insane #she asked something. I answered. she goes 'okAaaAayyyy?' in the most irritating tone ever. #like what is wrong with you. what. #she's so fucking irritating. truly the most joyless serious bitter person I have ever met (and I have met my mother so...... that's saying #something) #it's just. man social interaction is already so difficult but she just. makes EVERYTHING weird. #literally dude all I said was that yes everything's great with me and the cats 👍 how ELSE was I supposed to respond to that?? #I know I'm overthinking it and being a horrible ungrateful little bitch but god I just can't stand her #I don't CARE what they do for us I still just don't like them 😭 yes I know I'm the worst 😭 #my husband had to promise me that I won't have to see them more than twice a year once we move. I just. they drain every last bit of life #and joy and happiness out of everything #drives me insane #anyway I'm done being an asshole for now #been trying to take a tumblr break but where else would I complain about this. #personal

[the---hermit]

Buying evidently queer books with my mom feeling 100% comfortable asking her to hold them for me as i do something else is something i didn't know i needed.

#since i came out to them things have not changed like idk if i expected the sky to have a different color #but this sense of relaxation of not having to hide and control things for fear of questions always gives me life #there's so much i need to discuss with them because queer talk is non existent here #i recently found out my mom didn't even know what lgbt meant #so i definitely need to sit down and have a bit of a conversation to educate them #but i am happy they know and everything is fine and normal #i am truly starting to feel queer joy lately #idk where i am going with this but small things that make me happy i guess #cris speaks #the---hermit

[zaacoy]

redrew an old piece from foreeevvvvaaahhhhh ago because the anatomy was all wonky, they dancey dance together yippee yippeeee :D

#Freenoodles is the couple that likes to dance together alone all the time and it STARTS out all formal and nice #but then they get distracted by how pretty the other is and how happy they are and eventually their dancing gets sloppier and less put- #together and they start tripping over their own feet but it's okay because they're so in love and it doesn't even matter #Tang is the type to just start busting out laughing and pigsy melts at his husband's unfiltered joy and they're juST SO. #RRRGHHHH DYing sobbing do you see my vision they are EVERYTHING #This is a redraw of smth from February crazy what 5 (technically 4) months of drawing the same two characters over and over again can do #They're so much rounder and softer and expressive now- improvement!!!! :D yyippppeeeeee!! #lego monkie kid fanart #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk #lmk tang #lmk pigsy #freenoodleshipping #lmk freenoodles #freenoodles #zaacoy art💫

[chloecherrysip]

Mario watching his and Luigi's commercial in Punch-Out Pizzeria

#mario movie #mario movie spoilers #mario and luigi #super mario bros #super mario bros movie #super mario bros movie spoilers #cherrysip edits #if you got notifications about gifs from this set yesterday shhhhhhh i was having PROBLEMS #anyway i'm currently working on a gifset for the whole scene of mario getting back up in the pizzeria but then I HAD THIS IDEA #and i was like 'wow that sounds like a comparison that's going to cause me emotional pain' and i was right it absolutely did :) :) :) #[gesturing wildly to gifs while tears stream down my face] U DON'T UNDERSTAND MARIO IS IN THE EXACT SAME PLACE BOTH TIMES #the first time he's nervous but also SO excited and happy about what the future is gonna bring and seeing this commercial is #the culmination of everything he and luigi have been striving for and they're holding each other tight and the world feels wide open #and the second time everything is different. mario has been beaten down. he is terrified and aching and exhausted and convinced #that everyone has been right about him. he's a joke. he's a failure. the only thing he's ever done for his brother is drag him down. #but then he sees the commercial and everything comes back. the joy and the excitement and him and luigi against the world #the only difference is that he doesn't have his brother next to him and that's everything. mario doesn't feel whole otherwise #mario always does his best but when he and luigi are together working in sync he truly feels like anything is possible #and now his brother is out there somewhere in the chaos and bowser isn't gonna stop. he's gotta get up again. he does get up again. #IT'S A LOT BASICALLY. IT'S A WHOLE LOT AND I LOVE THEM DEARLY

[yellowloid]

i was watching some 2016 tlsp videos for research right. hadn't done that in a while. needless to say it took approximately 0.5 seconds after they came on stage for an unprecedented wave of grief to hit me like a truck

#first of all who gave those videos the right to transport me back to when i first discovered tlsp and binged watched everything every day #second of all THE ENERGY ON THAT STAGE...........like do people who were there in 2016 realise how lucky they were to witness that #they were having so much fun they were so happy and cough in love cough........and the pure JOY that oozed from every performance i just. #i physically feel sick i might need to stare at a wall for a moment. pulling my hair out actually #ramblings

[spearxwind]

Oof I'm kinda scared to ask... Why do you not want to be an artist professionally?

Its just like, incredibly miserable in my experience.

Everyone wants their dream job of being paid to draw whatever the hell they want but 99% of the time you are hired and tasked to draw things that you don't have a lot of interest in, professionally speaking, and constantly getting your artistic efforts undermined by the rest of the team (this is esp. true in the videogame industry) artists always try to push for better designs and get their takes watered down for the sake of general public pleasing. Also you don't have a security blanket unless you're under long term contract. Most freelancers live gig to gig with the fear of not being able to support themselves if they don't take a job to take a break. Videogame and movie jobs arent stable because companies never keep the art teams, they are laid off and rehired whenever there is a new project

During my major, I drew nonstop for 4 years for class. Not always things I enjoyed, but also not always things I didnt like. In fact I enjoyed my major immensely! It was so fun. But the burnout is very, very real, and the workload was similar (even inferior to) regular art jobs. What happens if you like to draw in your off time? You spend your days making and pumping out art nonstop for hours, and then on your free time breaks you draw some more? I personally couldn't do it. I just wanted to do other things

And like.... I spent the first three years being told by teachers (people with stable, contract based jobs) how cool of a job it is to do art, and then the last year getting grilled on how insanely hard it is to make it out there. If you don't have connections, money, an audience, a studio, it's actually impossible. You need to be your own lawyer, abide by the very strict self employment rules that take a severe chunk out of your earnings. Do all of your finance/schedule/marketing etc while on top of that constantly producing work (I know there's people who can do it but, personally, I cannot) I really admire the people who were able to build themselves up as artists from the ground like this (because its definitely possible, just insanely hard)

Also, making something you love into your job ends up being miserable too. I experienced this with patreon, which I posted to as like a chill thing and it just got increasingly hard to make content for it or just post in general, even drawing my own ocs and sharing stuff about them started to feel like a chore.

Maybe it's just me though, this has just been my personal experience but yeah in general I realized I am immensely happier just keeping art as a hobby or its gonna suck my soul out (Since I already experienced it)

I don't mean to discourage anyone, I think the world in general needs more artists. But for that we would need to actually be taken seriously and valued, which sadly we are not, at all. And if there's anyone reading that is considering art as a job: it is absolutely grueling. It's not an easy job. Even if you desperately love art it can suck the life out of you and the joy for what you do

(As an extra sidenote. Artists are usually exploited using this mentality as well. That they are supposed to love their job. So they expect you to work your wrists off "For the passion". Dont fall victim to it)

#ask #anon #genuinely i just wanna share my stories and content. see others stories in turn and make friends about it #the desperate need to monetize everything that makes you happy is such an insidious mentality. #people need to learn that you can have hobbies without needing to monetize them. your joy has inherent value and you dont need to sell it #like... i need people to stop being like 'oh you are so good at art/crochet/writing you should sell things : )' it fucking sucks #there is a lot of nuance to the topic of course but im talking like. in general #doing art out of ones heart is always good but having to pump out content under the crushing wheel of capitalism and need to survive is not #this is about my experience with drawn art but this goes for any other artistic discipline #music... writing... etc. we are all in the same boat #sorry for the long winded answer and tags i am just so passionate about this #and especially as someone whos skill wasnt taken seriously until i started making money from it........ fuck that so fucking much #you are allowed to create. in fact you should create. without feeling the need to put a price on it #not everything needs a price tag to be valuable. #especially not your joy.

[forestofsprites]

you will never guess who's currently in the woods

#im so happy #ive been studying for an exam all day. to be sat in a tree rn is a joy and delight beyond words!!!! #spring is here!!! the sun is out!!!!! everything smells damp and earthy!!!! good shit!!

[dent-de-leon]

Something about Mollymauk and what he as a character represents, how he once felt so Empty and hollow and alone, struggling to find his voice. Gradually learning to express himself and open up, rediscovering his identity. Exploring gender and sexuality. Finding what makes him happy in the moment and just chasing after it with no regrets. The thought that you can always start over, do better--it's never too late to save yourself and save others. Never. You deserve a second chance.

Being so unapologetically himself, his whole personality vibrantly colorful and loud and radiant. Refusing to be defined by his scars and haunting past. Covering himself in his own art, taking back his body and sense of autonomy with every new tattoo. Letting himself be truly free and so full of joy. Being loved so much it made him so compassionate and loving in turn, fiercely loyal and protective. Quietly taking care of others, refusing to leave anyone behind.

Knowing so much heartache and cruelty and loss in this world, and yet--yet. He still walks through life with so much warmth and joy, still holds his hand out to others. Holding onto the ones he loves until he no longer feels the numb ache of Empty--

#thinking about that post about relatable characters and just!!! molly molly molly #everything about him exploring his identity and digging himself out of the grave and Emptiness #filling your life with joy and color and light #he just means so much to me and taliesin really made something special with him #i dont know i feel like just seeing tal play him made me realize that like. you can still find happiness--

[fizzlehead]

this house is full of M-M-MADNESS!

(betty cooper / get out of my house - youtube)

#one thing about betty cooper is there's always someone in her house #evil dad. fake brother. dark manifestation of her own self hatred. real brother. etc etc etc #but ALSO her house being literally haunted is a metaphor for how she herself is haunted BY herself & her darkness & her family... #in a lot of ways betty IS her house and the house IS her. metaphorically! #so that's what's going on here #this one tested me it really did. but i'm happy w how it turned out :) #also this is quite possibly my favorite song EVER so i was sooooo worried that making this would ruin it for me. but it didn't!!!!! #also also i don't know if anyone other than me has this problem but when i watch mp4 files on tumblr the audio is almost always a little bit #unsynced so if it feels a little off watch it on youtube instead!! i spent a lot of time on the timing of everything so i want to make sure #people are able to see it the way that it's supposed to be #anyways. my home my joy i'm barred and bolted and i WON'T let you in. so. get out of my house and so on and so forth #riverdale #my amvs #taylor xoxo

[ellalily]

@tunastime a gift for you:D

Reference under cut<3

#TUNA BELOVED i hope you have an incredible day!! #all the cozyness and joy your way:) #...uh. i know i said i wasn't gonna draw ranchers #but designs be damned i made it up as i went>:3 #im very happy with how this turned out! #hope you like them<3 #trafficshipping #team ranchers #tangotek #solidarity gaming #jimmy solidarity #...i never know how to tag him #my art <3 #all the love to you tuna!! i appreciate you:D #thank you for everything <333

[ambreiiigns]

btw rick and morty makes me insane bc no one Gets it people who don't wanna watch it (like me! before my brother made me watch it in exchange of him watching sk8 the infinity w me!) are like ugh problematique bad #edgy dark humor adult cartoon for reddit bros 🙄 but then the reddit bros who watch it & became the main representatives for its audience are like haha pickle rick wooo you need high iq I Relate To Rick Sanchez Deeply and he's like the joker to them and he's a king and an icon of alpha males somehow???? but like. neither of those people understand that rick and morty is actually about Nobody Exists On Purpose. Nobody Belongs Anywhere. Everybody's Gonna Die. Come Watch TV?

#like yea the universe is huge and there's so many versions of everything that everything becomes replaceable and therefore worthless #and you can find joy in that or not. you can find a way to be happy despite it all or not #yes the core is nihilism. but then like. why are we ignoring the opposite approaches to nihilism shown by the titular characters #people will talk too much abt rick and not enough abt morty if u ask me but whatever. let's talk abt rick #why will people forget that what makes our rick the ''rickest rick'' (arguable ????) is not that he's the Toughest Smartest Whatever rick #but that he's the most human rick ? like. the fact that he was attached to his humanity and to the worth he found within it is what #kickstarts the entire show. bc he tries quitting science. and when another rick offers him the portal gun so he can live out that #nihilistic reckless life we see he refuses it bc it sounds Lonely???????? which it IS #so then the other rick takes away what matters to our rick. and that's what makes him the Alpha Male Genius that the reddit bros like #not his toughness his brains his big dick or whatever. it was all about loooove baybayyy and revenge i do love revenge #it was his heart that made him into what we see in the show <3 and what we see in the show is a pathetic weak miserable old bastard #but the reddit bros aren't brave enough to accept it #but whatever. next time we will be talking abt how much he loves morty and how he hates it so much bc it makes him weak #(as evil rick points out when they're looking over rick's memories and he tears up when he sees morty. which kills me btw) #(so much so that when rick can take out everything he considers toxic from inside of him he gets rid of his love for morty too) #and yet he loves his little buddy sooooo much it's what fuels him now. kinda. lol #is he still shitty. does he fall back in his own shit a lot. does he keep treating morty like shit. yea #there's no buts. the statements coexist #yes he will drunk call jessica to cry abt missing morty. yes he will dump morty for two crows #and also he's in love w birdperson. next time too #oh nay

[orcelito]

So I rearranged my bookshelf a bit for fitting trigun on my shelf...

Top shelf is still my persona shelf. It's way too established to change that. But I moved my assorted other fav manga volumes to the bottom shelf, leaving room for This...

It didn't Quite fit all the way, but it's close enough. This shelf is composed of my three top favorite mangas of all time, which are Also the only 3 series that I own in totality. Specifically bc theyre my favorites & I care enough about them to want to own them all lol

It's... really really nice to see them all in one place like this.

And of course. The trigun ❤️ completely worth the money I spent on them.

#speculation nation #this is nowhere Near the full number of manga and books i own btw #i have. boxes and boxes just sitting in the closet. #but this is my only functional bookshelf. im a little limited. #so i only have the Favs here. at least for manga. #sometime i should go thru all my manga. ive forgotten how much i actually own. #maybe someday i can get some more bookshelves... ive been thinking about it. #for now. this will do. #it makes me so ridiculously happy to see trigun on the shelf. even with it being a bootleg print. #it's honestly pretty great quality for a bootleg. only printing problems i saw were a few of the internal covers were a bit out of order #everything in the volumes themselves were printed Wonderfully #of course dark horse translation so not perfect quality there. but ngl it's almost nostalgic to read that version for me. #that was my first trimax experience. & as much as i value what overhaul has been doing for us #a part of me will always be fond of dark horse's translation too. #and thus why i keep hold of my 'he is reason enough for me to fight' header. i enjoy it Very much. #man. i cant believe i got home 8 hours ago. and ive spent this whole time fucking around with my new manga #but ykno what it's good that it's bringing me so much joy #for how much i spent on it i damn Well better get some enjoyment out of it lmaoooo #but ive read thru them and i will almost Definitely be flipping thru them again in time #i enjoy physically holding manga. it lets me peruse so much more easily than trying to scroll and click thru pages #worth Every Penny........

[frecklystars]

Just put me in the car, and drive so far

It'll be all right

It'll be all that I have ever asked of you

#just a small snippet I edited for myself hehe #this is what finally helped me find a tag for Driver and im so happy with it #i found a few of his songs by accident and theyre so soothing #love notes #audio #Sweet Jams 🍓 #w/ this song i can picture Driver holding my hand while we're cruising down the road #and he gives me one of those gentle quiet smiles curling out of hiding #I think this song is perfect for him. not just bc it's Ryan's voice but like #Driver is so numb to everything around him unless if he's driving and listening to music in the middle of the night #and he's so soft spoken and comforting. I know if I needed him he'd say it'll be alright. just like this #whether I'm recovering from a flashback or I'm depressed or I just cannot sleep for the life of me. he'd drive me til I'm better #he is my safe space and I'm his. he meets this... this star that fell right into his hands #and it's not like his own depression is cured or anything like that. but he feels joy when he's w/ me #and something I’ve always done for years is drive at 2am when I am restless #so to see a movie about a guy who does that… made me feel like we’d understand each other immediately #without words we’d be able to connect and everything would feel so easy #I’ll go back and add the main tags later 🥰

[silkentine]

Have you ever wanted to draw something but you fought due to your skill level at the time you decide not to do it

Hmm, thank you for your question! I am often plagued by visions of illustrations and projects that seem outside of the reach of my ability; however, I approach them anyway!! Sometimes, something can be done in an easier way and then you can apply what you've learned to the bigger picture (like making thumbnail sketches or drawing in a sketchier or more simplistic style). In recent days, it takes me about three attempts before I am satisfied with the line art. Some days, I get it in one!

Also, I think the mindset of "Do it Scared" can push you further than you ever really thought possible. I can think all day long about something I want to draw, but it's not gonna get made until I sit down and do it, you know? Drawing is what I was made for, though. I wouldn't be myself, I wouldn't be human, if I didn't draw. So that's a big motivator for me too. Now, if only I could be so passionate about getting the laundry done. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But yeah! I think a big part of advancing your art skills is to stop thinking about art and creation as a job or a thing to suffer through to get what you want and instead have fun with it. We live in a society (joker voice) where we feel compelled to commodify ourselves and the stuff we make for the benefit of everyone around us. If you have the ability, make stuff for you (and for the people who are close to you) and make stupid cringe ugly first drafts and lame things that no one else will understand and come back to them. The biggest joy of creation is making something that only you could have. Be free!

#my favorite thing in the whole world is watching my own procreate timelapse videos #like if I had to choose between the joy of motherhood and being able to watch a timelapse of everything I've ever made #i would pick the timelapses in a heartbeat. #i make dorky stuff all the time because it makes me happy. my mom or my family dont really /get/ it and my art school peers certainly didnt #but they can tell that I have passion for it and that excels me way further than just raw talent #you dont get good at drawing people until you've busted out 600 shitty anime OCs first I guess #or maybe you do but that's what worked for me LOL

[raspberryjellybrains]

Something I find interesting as I delve deeper into different mediums of The Sandman is the way that Dream's appearance is used as a literary device. I don't remember whether I've discussed it here or not, but throughout the comics, his outfits serve as an indicator of his outward emotions and attitude while the style of the artist is often used to depict some aspect of his internal, unspoken emotional turmoil/peace. This carries over to the audiobook, though without the graphic aspect inherent to the original medium, it manifests in an interesting way through narration and further solidifies this interpretation of significance.

I had to start on Volume II for *cough* reasons, and the usage of detail is quite similar to other works by Gaiman, in that they are only included where it is important. He doesn't hit you over the head with scenery at every chance, it's carefully slotted into the scene at the points where it is most necessary and poignant, with the depth of these descriptions being directly tied to the importance that you, the listener, understand. We only hear that the random park is peaceful in the soundscaping because the park itself serves no purpose beyond that, but we get a couple paragraphs of description of Hell because it is vitally important we understand the scale and intensity of the horrors found there; setting is only acknowledged when it contributes to the narrative. This is echoed in The Sandman: Annotated, where we get some notes in the script regarding artistic choices—many of which are gestural, some of which are very detailed so that the artist may understand from this where their (and by extension the reader's) attentions must be drawn, which provides a sort of visual pacing.

To draw my point in a bit, Dream's castle follows this rule as an extension of his will and selfhood. It changes often to reflect what facet of himself he wants to convey outward most directly; appearing first as a rather low set, art nouveau affair with perhaps a silly bit of phallic imagery, then a gothic castle atop a mountain, most clearly establishing things when he puts it at the needlepoint top of a physically impossible peak covered in turrets and rooflines which jab into the air forbiddingly during Season of Mists as he contemplates the Key. When Dream is settled, the Dreaming is as well, when he is tumultuous, such follows. We don't get blow by blow descriptions, only when it is necessary.

Now that the visual language has been established and connected (insofar as I really can with the allotted mental energy for a tumblr post, however much of a passion project this may be, I am tired), it can be connected to Dream himself. His character design is very intentional, it reflects the post-punk, modernist take on its themes through his incredibly goth Look—he has the big, messy hair and impossibly white skin, dark clothes and dramatic fashion sensibilities—but beyond that, it reflects what feeling we are supposed to get from him. Morpheus' sense of self is ridiculously deeply tied to expectaction and perception of others, his entire personhood is based on what they expect. Despite this, to his infinite chagrin it seems, he has a personal identity sitting at his core that we see in his "natural" versus "put on" appearance (for lack of better terms): he's quiet and withdrawn but highly passionate and caring with all of the expected emotional regulation issues we would expect of someone with these temperaments they desperately repress; What he can control (clothes and hair) are utilized similarly to the castle, conveying his outward intention—think his driving outfit in Brief Lives versus his family dinner outfit in Season of Mists versus his final outfit in the Kindly Ones—where the things he cannot consciously seem to control are disguised by him, but utilized by art or narration to make a statement on his surroundings and feelings—think again of those outfits, of what his behavior means through that lens, what is conveyed through detail and silhouette.

What these more consistent physical attributes say is quite interesting, and quite revealing: Dream is not that scary. Sure his eyes will make you feel like you've stared down the cosmos and felt god touch your soul, but beyond that? Really? He's just a dude. A beautiful and strange one, but really nothing especially imposing. He's tall, but that effect is sort of diminished by his slight build. His face is angular and ethereal, but often careworn or haggard as well in a way I would compare to a very old and very poorly maintained stone statue. What this means to me is that Dream was never meant to be this frightening and imposing figure, that this was a choice made by the active individual we know exists because he is the one telling us about this all! A choice against his own nature that is concealed as often, swiftly, and mistakenly as his internal nature. This is, to conclude my point, supported by where these aspect of his appearance are given weight through art and narration. We only hear about his stature when he's sad or scared, only hear about his inhumanly pale skin when faced against the more beautiful aspects of personhood or mortality, only hear about his eyes when he uses them to scare or comfort.

These details of appearance are as woven into the narrative as any plot point, and used as any theme; which makes sense, he is the Prince of Stories afterall.

#as always i am crossing my fingers this makes sense #it is almost midnight right now and i have to be up at 6am tomorrow SO #this is all you guys get #for now... #i did this only because the ADHD forcibly grabbed my brain control panel and popped this sucker out in like an hour #i do not control the gremlin. i merely leash it and pray. #i have so many thoughts about this topic holy shit i love how details are used in gaiman's works i love the attention that qent into #everything in this series it is an Obsession Joy Land for people know too much about too much #so much effort and care went into this swries that it is genuinely mindblowing #so now i get to sit like a little gremlin and disect the art architecture setting fashion and mythology of this series so happy and long! #farewell besties #time for the organization tags #dream of the endless #the sandman #the sandman meta #spoilers for the sandman #minorly #raspberry tart

[bataranqs]

wang fu who was abandoned by his dad and left to become an attendant from a young age. wang fu who finally gets to meet his dad only to find it's one of the greatest villains of their age. wang fu whose one gift from his dad was taken because it was only gained from murder and crime and his dad never really cared. fang duobing promising wang fu some land and money but wang fu didn't really want that - it wasn't riches he wanted but his dad. wang fu whose whole life is so obviously rich and complex and painfully incomplete and yet is treated as a side note in the whole drama. ohhh i'm going to be crying over this forever

#mysterious lotus casebook #wang fu | happy #HI. BYE. BFWIEOGJDKLGEWIKLD #they literally didn't even have to kill him #that's what really messes me up is that his death is so painfully like. they make SUCH a point of it. #that his death was to cover up someone else's. that the thing leading to his death was obedience to his master. #that his life wasn't his own and even as fang duobing is pained for his death that's even more twisting the knife in the wound #that wang fu's death may not have mattered if it weren't for fang duobing's care #and fang duobing's young and immature care is made all the more prominent and yet there's nobody and nothing to hate for it #li'er makes the most irrational choices because she has the most stake in this death and is hurt the most #li'er is taken out of the picture because this isn't about the servants and it never was #they only existed to show fang duobing's naivity and flaws which he grows out of. forcibly. #wang fu is literally murdered as fang duobing enters the arc of learning and choosing to be his own individual. it's so messed up i'm-- #and the drama is so intimately aware of it but it says nothing. it just shows it to you because it's a quiet little truth. #this life meant something. but to the mains? to us? it means next to nothing. wang fu's death is so quiet despite everything #is fang duobing solving the mystery to avenge wang fu? yes. in part. but also mainly to save li lianhua #thinking of joy of life where fang xian's whole revenge plot is set in motion because of 'a mere dead guard' #but it doesn't change that the guard is dead #lying on my face sobbing brb