I wish the fansite I used to frequent was still active. I just went there for the first time in several months, and I still have the most recent comment in most of the threads I like... Now my only way to scream into the void is tumblr. Sometimes I just want to complain to the internet and that feels less accessible these days.
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shout out to all the people who stutter or have speech issues or have any kind of tics or exhibit any kind of behavior that others love to poke fun at. the ACTUAL strongest soldiers here
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There are so many people in my day to day life who see dogs as just pets. So many people who don’t understand how much I’m struggling with Miller’s condition. Even people in my own workplace are surprised by how “hard” I’m taking it. The reality is these people go home to a partner or family of an evening, I go home to my dogs. That sounds really miserable and antisocial - but I’m an independent person and I’ve bought my own home and set up my own life and I’ve done it all by myself… except for the little pack of supporters who’ve been there through it all. Miller has been through it all.
Miller knew me when I was 18 and living with my grandparents; still a kid and having no idea about being an adult. Miller knew me when I went through my first break up, and she stuck around through the heartache. Miller knew me when I first ventured out into the big wide world; renting a “big girl house” with a friend and having a stable income and working towards my dreams. Miller knew me through my second break up, where I fled the country and went on a journey to “heal myself” and left her (and Henry) with my grandparents. She didn’t mind. She enjoyed the extra snacks. Miller knew me when I bought my first home, alone, and was right there beside me throughout.
She’s known me through my entire adult life. But I’ve known Miller through the day when she first came home… carsick on the passenger’s seat with only petrol station toilet paper to clean it up. I’ve known Miller through her “drug overdose” where she decided to snack on a pack of ibuprofen (again, with Henry). I’ve known Miller through horrific and uncontrollable ear infections. Where I thought the kindest thing was to let her go. Where I saw her in chronic, severe pain and several ear surgeries and procedures. I’ve known miller through her, um, “back end” problems, and having to remove stitches from her actual butthole. I’ve known Miller through her mellow years, where her only crimes are barking at a yellow lab on the beach or greeting our guests with a loud and persistent voice.
Today someone came to my house and there was no loud voice to greet them. She’s in a vet clinic cage, yellow as a highlighter, trying her hardest to stay alive. She’s 8 years old and has lived a life rich with joy and adventure, but my god I’m not ready to say goodbye yet. She’s not grey, she’s not creaky, she’s still got so much life in her. So many more rivers to swim in and songs to dance to and yellow labs to bark at. Every waking moment is spent agonising over my special little blue dog.
We don’t see leptospirosis where I am located. It’s very rare, and my vets have little experience with it. Today we contacted other hospitals in places were it is more prevalent so we can get a better idea of what we’re dealing with. It can take 7-14 days to see a turnaround. Miller is on day 4. I don’t know how I will afford 14 days of intensive care. I don’t even know how to think about money right now. I don’t know when the right time is to call it; to let her rest, or whether she wants me to keep fighting for her. Every minute is a nightmare and I miss my best girl.
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the way people talk about smokers will never not infuriate me btw. u understand that is a human being yes? a human being who I Promise understands the health hazards, the risks. a human being who is well aware they smell like smoke, a human being who is well aware it's a "disgusting" habit, a human being who feels guilty and shitty every time they smoke, yeah?
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Hi! I'm the anon who originally asked you to tag your asks, and I just want to say you shouldn't have to apologize to those mean anons. This is your blog and you can post whatever you want. I'm really grateful that you were kind enough to tag your asks so that they can be filtered, but if those anon can't appreciate you going out of your way to do that, they should just unfollow you and find another way to see heritage posts. No one should be berated for using a feature their blog came with. Answer as many asks as you want and ignore those hateful anons. You're awesome for running this blog and you should be able to interact with your followers, especially if they want to interact with you.
this is such an articulately worded ask and I appreciate it, thank you😭
and like the prev anon wasn’t really mean, but I just normally am able to come up with a better and more eloquent or funny response to those kinds of asks but I just. don’t. have. the. energy rn lol
no but I appreciate what you said, especially coming from you! and yeah I did legitimately spend hours tagging and mass editing all of my posts to make a cohesive tagging system, so I thought I solved the problem lol but alas
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