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mental-health-advice · 6 years

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Submission from Oxford

(1/?) Hello this may be long. Tag as Oxford. So Ive either had really great mental health or poor mental health. I struggled w depression for awhile and the verge of an eating disorder but I am good with those now. Apparently I have anxiety but i disagree (just because I think doesnt mean Im anxious?). But there is always something going on. Currently, I am content but I find myself ABRUPTLY emotional and nearly on the verge of tears over random things (an old woman was my cashier today—

(2/?) —and I nearly cried in my car because I just got sad wondering if she was alone, she sounded so alone. Some things have randomly have a super big impact on me, like abnormally. This is an example of what I think is wrong with me; except I am contenr. I am fairly happy I think. Another example of a bad period I went through was 7-8 months ago where I couldnt tell what was reality and what wasnt, I disassociated for nearly 3 weeks and then was immediately fine afterwards. Then—

(3/?) After those three weeks and then being fine, I was put on pills for “anxiety” and nearly got hospitalized (TRIGGER WARNING!) because I was happy but I was so intrigued in killing myself. I wanted to cut my arms open so badly. But I felt fine. Then that period ended and I’ve been fairly normal besides “anxiety.” So this has been my life for four years now: I experience a bad period like depression, starving, disassociating, suicidal thoughts, etc, but in between them, I feel—

(4/?) perfectly fine and happy, maybe some true anxiety but nothing bad. And Ive seen a counselor two separate times, the first time was foe 6ish months and she felt I was good enough to stop seeing her and I agreed (I was in a “perfectly fine” state). Same thing happened the second time (sent back after I was threatened to be hospitalized) . But it seems that after I stop seeing her, even though it comes to a point where there is no help from seeing her, it seems that after—

(5/?) i stop seeing her then something goes completely wrong (the dissociative period for example or this period i in rn). Idk. I think there is something wrong woth me (but at the same time I think there isnt bc I dont have “anxiety” as people think and things like that) but idk how to approach it. I feel like there are two Me’s and one is always trying to shine, which is why sometimes I feel like I am drastically messed up and other times I feel I am perfectly “normal” —

(6/?) Is this abnormal? If so, not asking for a diagnosis, but what’s an opinion on what this is so I could possibly bring it up?? Also also, I dont know how I could bring this up bc people see me as a hypochondriac so I feel i wouldnt be taken seriously— the last time i saw a doctor it was bc j thought i had ocd (another thing, i am “borderline ocd” but i get offended when people think i have anxiety???) but then I had that “perfectly normal” phase again so I feel like Im so left—

(7/?) and right and up and down with myself that it’s hard to even tell what’s wrong if something is wrong. I dont know I dont even know why I sent these in. I forgot my point. Sometimes I just get so into a rambly “something is seriously wrong with me” mood but I feel im just being a “anxious hypochondriac” if I say anything and I dont want to be embarrassed to see a counselor for a third time for s third separate issue. Im sorry this was such a ramble bc I forgot my points—

(8/8) But if anything I said makes sense, please respond to it with as much as you can. I dont think my mind is supposed to be a ferris wheel. And if yall think this is something I should bring up with someone (maybe im in a mania or depressive phase???), that would be great. Thank you and sorry again

Hello Oxford,

Firstly, no need to be sorry! We’re here to listen and help in whatever way we can. So thank you for sending in the message - it’s great that you’re looking for some answers and some support.

I think that if you feel there’s something wrong with the way you’re feeling, then there is something wrong. We’re the most in-tune people with our own bodies and minds, and we know best when something is off. It sounds like you’ve been getting some support for a while, but it hasn’t necessarily been the support that you need. That can definitely leave you in a state of confusion, where things are just staying the same and you’re wondering if things will change.

Although we can’t diagnose you, as we’re not medical professionals, I can say that your symptoms can be a part of a number of mental illnesses. Things like depressive disorders can often come in waves where you feel them intensely for a period of time, then get a break of calm for a while, only to have that wave come back and hit you. Is it possible that those time where you are feeling content, you’re actually feeling detached, or emotionless? Or are you truly fine in those times? It’s something to think about - both types of things can happen in different disorders.

I think that following this, the best thing to do is to get some support on board that is actually helpful for you. The diagnosis that you have is causing you to feel uneasy, as you don’t feel like it fits you, so I think a good place to start is seeing someone who can assess your diagnosis. This might be your family doctor, or you could ask to be referred to a clinical psychologist (must be a clinical psychologist - regular psychologists do not have the training to diagnose) or a psychiatrist. We have a page here on How To Get Help that has some tips on asking for that kind of support. What would be best is being upfront and to the point with your doctor by saying you have been diagnosed with anxiety, but you don’t feel like that’s right and want to be reassessed so that you can get proper treatment. If you don’t feel confident that your doctor will listen, I encourage you to try seeing some different doctors around your area until you find someone that you feel comfortable with. Your comfort and being listened to is very important.

When you do see the person who can diagnose you, I think you should start by explaining what you said to the doctor. They’ll then look at history and symptoms. Be as open and honest as possible, as this will help them determine what is really the underlying problem. Also know that sometimes diagnosis doesn’t happen straight away. I’ve personally started seeing a clinical psychologist for re-evaluation of my own diagnosis, and we’ve have 4 sessions together and he doesn’t yet feel confident in giving a diagnosis. That’s okay - sometimes it takes a bit of chatting, hearing the history, then hearing how everyday life affects you before anything can be determined.

I also want to let you know that if you ever see a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist or anyone that you don’t connect with, or you don’t feel like they listen to you, it is completely within your rights to seek the help from another doctor. It’s important to get the type of support that you personally need, and sometimes it can take a few goes before you meet the person who gives that support. Just make sure to maintain the balance of giving them a chance, and finding what suits you!

Lastly, know that there is nothing wrong for seeking help a third time. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve cycled through therapist and psychologists over the years. If you need help, you need help, and there’s nothing wrong with that. They are there to offer support, and you don’t need to feel embarrassed for asking for help. So please do reach out.

We also have some links here that may help you. Here are some Helplines and Web Counsellors that you can chat to at any time about what you’re feeling. It can help to let it out, and have someone help you find the direction that you need to go. I feel like this may be really helpful for you. We also have a list of Recovery Tools here, which may help you in the times where your emotions become overwhelming.

I hope these tools help you, and that you’re able to reach out for some more support to look in the diagnosis and some coping techniques. You don’t need to feel embarrassed for seeking help - it is exactly what they are there for. Good luck to you, and please don’t hesitate to contact us again if you need.

Positive thoughts your way, Alexandria.

#oxford #submission #mhaalexandria #mental health advice #advice #advice blog #mental health #anxiety #emotions #diagnosis #doctors #therapists #getting help

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meditativeyoga · 7 years

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Who Am I? Use The Enneagram With Yoga To Find Your Answer

In a suitable globe, we 'd constantly think as well as act from an area of knowledge and also entirety. Yet in the real life, deep-rooted patterns and characteristic could hinder. Enter the Enneagram, an individuality evaluation that could aid you see what's maintaining you from realizing your most authentic, greatest self. Here's how you can use it, in addition to your yoga exercise technique, to change course.

Coral Brown, a yoga instructor and qualified mental-health therapist in Rhode Island, utilizes the word" co-dependent" to describe her previous enchanting partnership, which lasted more compared to a decade. Yet at the time, she really did not realize she was in such a pattern of over-giving that she was losing herself. While her yoga exercise method helped shine a light on this tendency, Brown claims studying the Enneagram-- a four-decade-old personality-assessment system-- likewise disclosed that it was time to carry on from the partnership. "The Enneagram enabled me to really see my core patterns," claims Brown, "eventually aiding me fulfill my requirements in a much healthier, more aware method than ever in the past."

The name Enneagram comes from the Greek words ennea, a prefix for "nine," and also gramma, suggesting "to draw." The system's symbol is a nine-pointed star, each point representing an unique character type. Most Enneagram professionals concur we are all birthed with one dominant personality kind (or number), which largely identifies just how we discover how to adjust to our environment as well as the people in it. The Enneagram surfaced in the United States in the 1970s, riding the tails of the human-potential motion (think treatment, encounter groups, and also primitive scream). Ever since, therapists, spiritual educators, coaches, or even organisations have made use of the Enneagram as a device to stir authenticity, subject core motivations, and ultimately reduce social conflict. Exactly how can a basic individuality examination do all this?

" There's resistance to transform within all of us, as well as the Enneagram explains just what that resistance has to do with for each people," states Peter O'Hanrahan, a prominent global Enneagram instructor and trainer. "As a result, this system provides you really clear info concerning what you require to work with." To wit, when Brown found out more about her Enneagram number-- a 2-- she was better able to see her core pattern of providing to others to really feel great about herself, which realization gave her a choice: do something concerning her unseen areas, or ignore them. She decided to act. "I left my companion, and I found even more of my own identification in my yoga exercise teaching," states Brown. "I was more aligned with my truer purpose as well as nature."

Susan Piver, author of the reflection guide Start Here Now as well as a meditation educator who leads retreats on the Enneagram, claims the kind of alignment Brownish seasoned is exactly what yoga is about at its core. "The Enneagram will tell us what we could not see regarding ourselves-- our means of being that come from our most damaged selves, which produce confusion because of this," claims Piver. As well as if you want to look at these injuries, which are usually rooted in unexamined pain, you can begin to chart a new, extra authentic course onward, she says. "At a certain point-- particularly if you get on a spiritual course-- you have to do this," Piver says. Keep reading to locate out how.

Self-Inquiry: Who Am I?

The work of the Enneagram begins with finding out your number, which basically represents just how you present yourself to others, where your focus goes when you silent down, as well as just what causes your actions. Piver, for instance, is a 4, which means her chief issue is envy. "Before I understood I was a 4, I utilized to believe that just what I wished for would make me pleased," she says. "Currently, I have the ability to see the hoping itself as an indication that I'm uncertain, unhappy, or pain, and also that I can turn my focus within instead of seeking something outside. This assists me notice when I need to take better care of myself."

In enhancement to disclosing adverse patterns and deep injuries, the Enneagram likewise highlights your best toughness. As an example, when Piver's envy is brought right into equilibrium, it ends up being the much more developed variation of itself: equanimity. "Envy as well as equanimity get on a continuum," she says. As well as these continuums exist for every one of the numbers, which means that on a regular basis looking for balance in between your strengths as well as blind places is the essential to living a much more straightened, genuine life.

Even better, all of this self-reflection comes with boosted communication with other individuals. That's why Piver calls the Enneagram an upaya, Sanskrit for "experienced methods." While she warns against utilizing the system to label somebody, she says it can be a valuable device to browse interaction blocks. For instance: "My companion is a One, as well as Ones are focused on right and also incorrect," claims Piver. "I'm a 4, and also Fours are concentrated on significance. If we enter a debate, I intend to talk and also comprehend, but I can not do that with him until I acknowledge what went wrong-- that I see where the bad move happened. That is very beneficial to him because everything in him desires to get to the base of the right and wrong in order to fix it." As soon as Piver's companion's needs have actually been dealt with, they could then have the kind of conversation that also functions for her.

Ultimately, the Enneagram could aid us release the limited hold we have on our variation of points. "It's difficult to recognize an individual's make-up when you are only looking at it with your very own lens," states Piver. "But suppose you were told, 'Below are 9 lenses-- which one do you think he or she is browsing?' It provides you a means to allow go of expectations to ensure that an extra real exchange can transpire. It produces concern."

Put the Enneagram Into Practice

Yoga provides the ideal training school to check out the subtleties of your Enneagram kind. When you recognize your number, you can begin to make use of the Enneagram to allow remove just what Patanjali called the "layers as well as blemishes hiding truth." "It's an extraordinary companion [to yoga exercise] that covers area yoga exercise doesn't deal with," says Michael Cohen, owner of the Kirtan Leader Institute and also a qualified Enneagram expert. "Yoga talks in wide terms regarding how you can transcend our restrictions, the Enneagram provides unbelievable detail regarding what that means." For instance, each number has an equivalent somatic pattern. "For Fives, Sixes, and also Sevens, postures that bring power to the lower body as well as the feet are crucial due to the fact that these types have the tendency to leave their bodies by increasing into their heads," claims O'Hanrahan. As soon as you know your kind's patterns, he says, you could personalize your yoga exercise method to sustain the job you're doing to leave your old grooves (or samskaras, in Sanskrit) and develop new ones that offer you better.

To that end, Brown has actually matched a posture with each Enneagram number to highlight both the challenges as well as the possibilities for that number. Establish your type, after that utilize your position and also mantra to proceed your self-inquiry so that just how you do asana reflects just how you do you-- with stired up quality and compassion.

Discover Your Enneagram Number

The 9 numbers, or personality kinds, of the Enneagram each have corresponding top qualities. To establish your number, checked out every one's specifying attributes and also essential inspirations here, then see which number resonates most highly for you. (Remember that we have elements of all nine kinds inside us, though we have a tendency to have even more of one type than the others.) With an open mind and an investigatory spirit, simply discover exactly what resonates most.

1. The Reformer

Defining traits:

Principle, purpose, self-discipline, as well as perfectionism

Key motivations:

To be right, to strive for higher things

Basic fear:

Being corrupt, evil, defective

At their best:

Ones are diligent as well as honest, with a strong sense of right and incorrect. They are teachers and also supporters for adjustment, always striving to boost things.

At their worst:

Ones are worried of making an error, they could get on being critical and perfectionistic, and also have a tendency to fight with animosity and also impatience.

2. The Helper

Defining traits:

Generosity, people pleasing, as well as possessiveness

Key motivations:

To be loved, needed, as well as appreciated, to vindicate their insurance claims about themselves

Basic fear:

Being unworthy of love

At their best:

Twos are understanding, providing, as well as owned to be close to others.

At their worst:

Twos can slip into doing points for others simply to feel required. They generally have issues with possessiveness as well as recognizing their very own needs.

3. The Achiever

Defining traits:

Adaptability, need to excel, as well as picture- consciousness

Key motivations:

To differentiate themselves from others, to be appreciated, to thrill others

Basic fear:

Being worthless

At their best:

Threes are self-accepting, genuine, and good example who inspire.

At their worst:

Threes could be overly interested in their image and just what others think about them, they normally have troubles with workaholism and also competitiveness.

4. The Individualist

Defining traits:

Expressiveness, drama, self-absorption

Key motivations:

To create and border themselves with appeal, and also to care for psychological demands before attending to anything else

Basic fear:

Having no identity

At their best:

Fours are very imaginative, self-aware, delicate, as well as reserved.

At their worst:

Fours can be moody as well as self-conscious. They normally have issues with sorrowful, self-pity, as well as self-indulgence.

5. The Investigator

Defining traits:

Perceptiveness, innovation, and isolation

Key motivations:

To possess expertise, to have whatever figured out as a way of resisting risks from their surroundings

Basic fear:

Being helpless or incapable

At their best:

Fives are visionary leaders, typically ahead of their time, and also able to see the globe in an entirely brand-new way.

At their worst:

Fives could end up being removed. They typically have troubles with eccentricity, nihilism, as well as isolation.

6. The Loyalist

Defining traits:

Responsibility, stress and anxiety, and suspicion

Key motivations:

To feel supported by others, to check the perspectives of others toward them

Basic fear:

Lack of security or guidance

At their best:

Sixes have a tendency to be steady, self-reliant, as well as trustworthy. They predict issues as well as foster cooperation.

At their worst:

Sixes could be indecisive, responsive, and defiant. They could also come to be defensive and evasive, as well as handle self-doubt and suspicion of others.

7. The Enthusiast

Defining traits:

Spontaneity, adaptability, as well as scatteredness

Key motivations:

To maintain their freedom as well as joy, to prevent missing out on rewarding experiences

Basic fear:

Being deprived and in pain

At their best:

Sevens are extroverted and also practical. They focus their skills on coming to be wondrous and satisfied.

At their worst:

Sevens could end up being sidetracked and exhausted by remaining on the go, they normally have issues with rashness and impulsivity.

8. The Challenger

Defining traits:

Decisiveness, positive self-image, willfulness

Key motivations:

To be autonomous and essential in the world

Basic fear:

Being controlled by others

At their best:

Eights are self-mastering, and use their stamina to enhance others' lives. They are self-confident and also decisive.

At their worst:

Eights could be egocentric and also autocratic. At times, they feel they must control individuals around them, in some cases becoming confrontational. They can have problems with their temper as well as showing vulnerability.

9. The Peacemaker

Defining traits:

Receptivity, reassuringness, complacency

Key motivations:

To produce harmony, to maintain things as they are

Basic fear:

Loss and separation

At their best:

Nines are able to bring individuals with each other and recover conflicts. They are approving, trusting, and also steady, they are typically imaginative, confident, and supportive.

At their worst:

Nines could be too going to go along with others to keep the peace. They want everything to go smoothly, as well as so could additionally be contented. They may have problems with inertia as well as stubbornness.

NEXT: The most effective Yoga exercise Posture For Your Enneagram Number

#asana #meditation #spiritual #Yoga #yoga instructor

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gyrlversion · 5 years

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Ex-Big Brother Caroline Wharram should not have been allowed on show

Any suicide is a tragedy, so the two deaths linked to the reality show Love Island should shock me. But the awful truth is this: I’m not surprised at all.

It is seven years since I appeared on the 13th series of Channel 5’s Big Brother, and in that time, I’ve become ever-more convinced that the type of person who wants to hand themselves over to a TV production team is especially vulnerable.

I know quite a few people who’ve appeared on shows like this, and they all have a horrible story to tell.

They’ve become alcoholics, turned to drugs, lost themselves to depression or anxiety, developed eating disorders or pursued obsessive, attention-seeking behaviour on social media.

Caroline Wharram struggling to cope in the Big Brother diary room during her time on the show in 2012

Of course, these tendencies existed before – the problems weren’t created by programme makers, but they were certainly made worse.

The toxic nature of reality TV, the manipulation by producers who are little more than puppeteers, and the instant, snarling effects of fame, can have a devastating effect.

It is a world of self-obsession driven by insecurity – and I should know. It happened to me.

I was an anxious, lonely and sad young girl with a crippling eating disorder and a family history of mental health problems when, at the age of 19, I applied to join Big Brother 2012.

What then took place could – and should – have been predicted.

I crumbled in front of the nation, exhibiting increasingly erratic behaviour. Then, excruciatingly, I was branded a racist after referring to a fellow contestant as a gorilla.

The four years that followed were among the worst of my life as I struggled to rebuild my shattered world.

How I passed the psychological assessments to get on the show continues to baffle me. I should never have been allowed on. And yet, staggeringly, I was. I can only conclude the producers just didn’t care so long as I was entertaining.

I have wonderful, supportive parents and enjoyed an upbringing that most people would call privileged, including a place at a private boarding school in Surrey.

Since the age of nine, however, I had suffered chronic anxiety.

I’m quite academic and had ambitions to be a writer, I’d dropped out of my university degree – after failing to attend a single lecture for six weeks.

Instead, I spent the time in the comfort of my student bedroom, alone, eating masses of food while crying and obsessively weighing myself. I was an anxious, paranoid mess.

None of my peers suspected a thing. When they saw me, I exuded confidence and charisma. I was so good at hiding my misery that when, in January 2012, Big Brother held auditions for a new series, a fellow student told me I’d be perfect because of how ‘wild and fun’ I was. I lapped up her advice.

But today, pictured with her dog Theo, she says: ‘I’ve come through it and am genuinely happy. At weekends, I enjoy walking my dog and writing’

Today it sounds incomprehensible, but I genuinely believed that appearing on television would answer all my problems. I thought it would open a door into a world of celebrity parties, boys, popularity and fame – things I coveted.

More importantly, I could prove to everyone, including myself, that I was the carefree party girl I had always wanted to be. It felt like my happiness depended on getting on that show.

I queued for hours at Wembley Stadium, where the auditions took place among thousands of hopefuls. And I was pleased to find the producers wanted to talk to me, zoning in on my ‘posh’ accent. In fact, it was all they cared about.

A few months later, after more interviews, I was called in for a psychological assessment.

Yet, in my view, the programme makers had little interest in assessing my mental suitability. They failed, for example, to ask me a single question about any mental health problems I might have had.

They didn’t ask whey I’d left university, why I wanted to go on TV or what I thought it would provide for me.

Would I have been honest had they asked these things? Would I have jeopardised my chances of appearing on the show? Probably not. But to me it remains mind-boggling that even the basics were ignored.

‘You’re thick skinned,’ I was told. ‘You don’t care what people think.’ It was so inaccurate I could have laughed. When, finally, the producers told me I’d been successful, I’d never felt so appreciated, so confident and so completely understood.

My parents, though, were devastated. They warned me I wasn’t strong enough, that it would ruin my chances of a career and that the broadcast footage would be manipulated. I didn’t care.

Sure enough, the anxiety and depression returned almost as soon as I entered the Big Brother house.

My behaviour was bizarre. I was eating entire pots of Nutella with a spoon in the morning. At one point, I stuck a toothbrush down my throat to make myself sick in clear view of the cameras. No one on the production team asked if anything might be wrong, or if I needed to speak to someone. Yet, the producers were all too eager to pay attention when I made a casual and thoughtless comment likening another contestant – who was black – to a gorilla.

It was unacceptable, yes. I was perturbed by the fact that he had spent time in prison for robbing elderly ladies and holding them at gunpoint.

But, however stupid I had been, the remark was not intended to be malicious.

The producers, meanwhile, were delighted and played it repeatedly on adverts and on the spin-off show.

After that, I could hear the crowds shouting their hatred for me at each eviction, and I started to hate myself so much that I believed they might be right.

During the week leading up to my departure, the binge-eating escalated. I was crying every day. I couldn’t sleep. My heart palpitations were unbearable. Still there was no offer of psychological help.

When, after seven weeks inside, I was propelled in front of the booing crowds, I was completely unprepared. I was so unwell, in fact, that I couldn’t answer the most basic questions as I was interviewed on live TV.

My attention span had diminished. People assumed I was under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

Next, I was ushered into a meeting with someone from the ‘care team’, but no one mentioned that I’d gained two stone in seven weeks, that my behaviour was extremely odd, or that I was now a public hate-figure. Instead, they said: ‘You’ve provided us with so much entertainment.’ A pile of articles featuring my name was thrown at me. Then, that was it.

After three days of interviews, I was released back into the real world to fend for myself. It would be months before I heard from the programme makers again.

And now I became completely reckless and wild, attending all-night parties, drinking so much I was barred from three nightclubs.

Hoping to prove that I’d risen above the abuse I was receiving on social media, I started re-tweeting the death threats that flowed in.

In private, however, I was in a dark place where nothing mattered, where I would cry hysterically into a pillow. Each day I took enough laxatives to give me crippling stomach cramps. My eyes were bloodshot, my cheeks marked with burst blood vessels.

There was one follow-up meeting with the Big Brother care team, six months later. I acted extraordinarily, yet still nothing was said.

I went back to university but was thrown out as I couldn’t stop interrupting lectures.

I was still living in a fantasy world where I was watched by 44 cameras and five million viewers.

Relations with my parents took a turn for the worse when, at my 21st birthday party, I vomited over the dinner table and passed out. Any chance of rebuilding a normal life had gone.

Online footage from the show was all over the internet, portraying me as a crazy person even though I was clearly unwell. My reputation meant there was no prospect of a job.

I called the production team and begged them to delete the clips. But the woman on the other end of the line said: ‘Nothing has changed. You have always been that person. That is just who you are.’

Huge changes are needed if we are to continue broadcasting reality shows without ruining yet more young lives or devastating families. The programme makers must ensure their ‘care teams’ work in the interests of the vulnerable applicants, for example, instead of serving the interests of the producers.

The psychiatrists and health experts should be truly independent of the production companies.

Psychological assessments must involve a thorough examination of contestants’ mental state and their emotional history.

I’m convinced people who want to go on reality shows are, in fact, the last people who should appear on TV because they’re so insecure, so much in need of validation. Those brave enough to take part must be reminded – and often – that they are free to leave. Today I’ve come through it and am genuinely happy. At weekends, I enjoy walking my dog and writing. I am incredibly grateful to those who have stuck by me. But it could have been so different. Had my parents not been there to pick up the pieces, I dread to think where I would be now – if anywhere at all.

This exploitation has to end.

l In a statement, Big Brother production company Endemol Shine said: ‘We do not recognise Caroline’s account of our support processes. Big Brother has always taken contributor welfare extremely seriously and had a robust assessment and welfare system in place.

‘All contributors were thoroughly assessed by an independent psychiatrist and a psychologist before being considered for the show and a thorough evaluation of a potential housemates’ health and medical history taken into consideration.

‘A team dedicated to contributor welfare, including mental health experts, was on hand to support housemates both during and after transmission.’

The post Ex-Big Brother Caroline Wharram should not have been allowed on show appeared first on Gyrlversion.

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