#who was gonna tell me that i was mentally ill.

[genericpuff]

wait wait wait, regarding that Minthe post, you're telling me that Rachel literally wrote the character as having BPD.....and portrayed her as an abusive mean piece of shit??? WOW. fucking WOW. sorry for being so angry, but even if she "retconned" that - it's still so god damn disrespective. as someone who has BPD it hurts so much to see my mental illness villanised :(

ugh I'm so sorry pal. and I don't blame you for being angry about it, like I don't even have BPD and I'M fucking pissed LOL like I can understand why Rachel might have wanted to backtrack from that knowing fully well that Minthe's story wasn't gonna have a happy ending, but writing her with BPD in the first place and then BACKTRACKING from it as soon as she likely got heat for it (or just realized it wasn't a good look) isn't much better because it means now all she's done is written the stigmatized negative effects of BPD into her character without showing the more positive outlooks of healing and managing. Maybe that was doomed to happen considering Minthe is someone who doesn't get a happy ending in the myths, but it begs the question of why she'd write her with BPD to begin with because in hindsight it really does seem like she just wanted to use it as a way to make her "evil".

But like, when you read the actual episode, you can SEE the potential there for character growth, you can SEE that she's aware of her actions - but doesn't understand why she's "like that" which is a VERY common feeling among people with undiagnosed mental illnesses - but it was never meant to be.

Like jfc not only is it HEAVILY IMPLIED, but again, the episode is literally called "Splitting". And we see exactly that with Minthe, who can't seem to rationalize with herself that she messed up.

But... that leads me to another point that I failed to mention in that first ask response: she DIDN'T mess up. Like, yes, she messed up by escalating it to the point of slapping Hades, but it wasn't her fault that she didn't make it to her date with Hades. Whose fault was it?

Continuously throughout the first season we see Thetis being an awful influence who manipulates and gaslights Minthe. They're "friends", but it's clear Thetis does not have Minthe's best interests in mind. In this very scene we see Thetis manipulate Minthe and even attempt to get her so drunk that she won't be able to show up to her date. And then of course when that plan works and Minthe freaks out, Thetis spins it around on Minthe in a very passive-aggressive way.

But of course, the narrative has to find a way to turn this whole thing on Minthe being the bad guy. Hence we get the slap which shifts the focus entirely away from what led up to it back onto Hades who has, in a lot of ways, put her in a situation that she can't control. And of course, being in those kinds of situations does not help with mental health.

Like, sorry, I'm really going off here now, but... the slap happens in Episode 76.

When is it finally addressed again? Episode 103.

It took Rachel nearly THIRTY EPISODES to finally bring it back to Minthe, and in that time the reader has spent SEVERAL EPISODES reading about how sad and lonely Hades is, and about how cute and lovey he is with Persephone. The reader has not had ANY time to reflect on Minthe's circumstances, because it completely pivots away from her to focus on H x P as a sort of distraction from the fact that Minthe is a victim in her own right.

And when it DOES return to Minthe in 103, we get this harrowing reminder that her entire life is dependent on Hades-

And once again, here comes Thetis to the "rescue", reinforcing the negative feedback loop that Minthe is trapped in where she's put in unhealthy situations. She drags her to a bar and the whole time Minthe is not having fun because she's understandably still reeling from what happened.

Now we DO get some character development here, where Minthe realizes exactly what I've just finished explaining, that Thetis isn't her friend, that she'd rather not have Thetis as a friend than continue being talked down to and manipulated.

But then, as we know, because Rachel still needs Minthe to be the "bad guy", the breakup between Hades and Minthe winds up being all about Persephone from a POV that attempts to villainize Minthe for being "jealous" (rather than focusing on how shitty Hades actually is for having an emotional affair with Persephone to begin with) and then Minthe goes right back to hanging out with Thetis anyways for the sake of having the "evil other girl" who wants to "ruin" H x P's relationship.

It's not until Season 3 that we finally see Minthe tell Thetis to fuck off for good, but by then it's too little too late, and Minthe has lost an entire character arc. Rachel tries to go "see! Minthe's life is so much better now that she's taking care of children!" but that's an entirely different solution to a problem Minthe never had. She never got treatment for her BPD. She just got away from H x P which, while is a good thing, isn't actually analyzed as such. It's treated more as a "good thing" for H x P and the readers, because now they don't have to be subjected to Minthe's evil scheming anymore, something something "the evil is defeated". And don't even get me started on this comic's problem with constantly resolving female characters' story arcs through motherhood.

It bums me out so fucking much. Minthe deserved so much better. She's one of the many characters in LO who make it so painfully ironic when they're done dirty, because despite Rachel's attempts to write a "feminist retelling" that focuses on "moving on from trauma", she's inadvertently done more damage to feminism and the stigmas around mental health and trauma through her assassination of grounded and realistic and relatable characters like Minthe and Demeter who are shown ZERO empathy or understanding for their actions (unless it can be done so by making Persephone and Hades into the heroes). It happens so often throughout the comic it almost feels like how the comic markets itself as a "progressive feminist retelling" is some sick joke that I'm just not getting.

#ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything #lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hello! First of all I wanted to say that damn I love your fics, they give me so much gender euphoria and are so validating. Second, I understand if you feel unconfortable with this request but how do you think Homelander would react to reader's self harm scars? Since he's basically a god, I wouldn't be suprised by how a "fragile little creature" like a human could do this and why.

John Gillman/Homelander x male reader

Headcanons

idk why i chose this gif, he just looks so cute here.

I ignore how in canon hed probably be a horrible guy about it. I am a firm fanon believer.

In the beginning I don’t even really think John would register that his lover has self-harm scars, since it’s never something he’s thought about himself. I imagine he’s had self-harming thoughts before sure, but never cutting himself since nothing can cut through him.

Hes probably tried to hurt himself one way or another, since he isn’t really the best place mentally, or when he thinks he isn’t doing good enough and whatnot.

But at first it doesn’t really click for him, since he’s so unused to seeing scars since he has none himself. It would probably take John longer than he would like to admit for it all to make sense, and it would be after you got comfortable enough to go around in short sleeves.

Maybe you think he’s just always known, since he’s got x-ray vision and all that, so he must have known from the beginning, right? And he just never said anything about it. yeah, not really.

He will act like that’s how it all went, because there’s no way Johns gonna admit that he didn’t notice something so important, no matter if they are old or fresh. If they’re fresh, John would build a habit of checking on you every time he sees you, just in case, you know?

He might still do this, even if they are old and you haven’t done it in a long time. Because who knows, maybe things become so stressful that you need that outlet again.

Shamefully, to John at least, the hero would find himself going online to check it out. Hes got no training in mental illness or how to deal with that, which messes with him since he’s supposed to be perfect.

So he finds himself on different forums, from both people who have done it, and partners of people who have self-harmed, reading into how they deal with it or react. John being, well, John, would probably grow annoyed because its all types of emotionally vulnerable stuff, something he’s horrible at.

There is also little chance he would bring it up, at least in the beginning. Again, because it’s a new ground he’s never been on, and its an emotional conversation he can’t figure out how to navigate.

The conversation would end up coming up as you two are cuddling, and John finds himself carefully stroking the area with the scars, trying to comprehend why and how you would do that. What did you go through? There might also be some guilt, since he couldn’t save you from whatever made you self-harm, even if you guys didn’t even know each other at the time.

It would end up with you explaining it to him, since you guys are in a relationship and its all built on trust, right? And he’s been so chill about it this entire time, so why not tell him.

You almost get a heart attack when he starts getting glossy eyes and his bottom lip wobbles just a little, because John has been stressed about this since he figured it out, and he just doesn’t know how to react or what to do.

In the end its you that has to comfort him, and explain that it isn’t a big deal and nothing to cry about. But you also know it’s a new experience for John. Theres also some fear in John, since seeing your scars make your morality so clear. If you could get scars from that, imagine what others could do to you.

After some cuddling and comforting, John would tell you strictly to never do it again. You cant take him seriously though, since his usually styled hair is all mused and his eyes are pink around the edges, and, he’s pouting again.

You promise not too though, since it gets him to smile a little and cuddle you again, clinging to you as hard as he dares with his super strength. You make him vulnerable, and the Homelander part of him doesn’t like that, but the John part of him basks in it, at how human you make him feel.

Maybe hed even let slip that he had thoughts like that too, even if he couldn’t cut or burn himself like you could. That just means his self-harm shone through in more mental or extreme ways.

John builds a habit of brushing his fingers or kisses over your scars, not just the self-harm ones, but all of them. Its part to remind himself that you are so fragile, but also to remind him that you are alive and there with him.

He won’t admit this though, since its cheesy. And he grows embarrassed if you ever bring it up, making him grumble and walk away to pout. It never lasts, and he’s back not long after.

#male reader #homelander #john gillman #the boys #homelander x male reader #homelander x reader #homelander imagine #homelander headcanon #john gillman imagine #john gillman headcanon #john gillman x male reader #john gillman x reader #the boys imagine #the boys headcanon #the boys x male reader #the boys x reader

[vulpinesaint]

meds working is like. finding myself laughing at something. smiling big. crying easy cause i can feel again. anything beautiful or even vaguely sentimental sparks tears and sometimes it's such a ridiculous thing to cry at that i have to laugh again. not remembering the last time i felt really bad when i used to not remember the last time i felt really happy. saying that i'm doing alright and it's a good thing and not another way to say that i'm not doing well. things can be tough but overall i'm alright. things are alright. things are okay. driving with the windows down in late summer is fun and december's early nights are nice, actually, and maybe i just need to get out of bed and shower to feel less icky. i had a rough time today but it's not the end. happiness is not always transcendent. things are alright.

#everywhere i turn nowadays it's like. wow. the meds are working. #third month on medication and gosh haha #being treated for it and having it get better is an Insane way to finally accept that it was actually depression </3 #can't stop talking about it though cause!!!!!! !!!!!!! #didn't think they were Kicking In for a while cause i wasn't feeling Happy™️ but then someone asked how i was doing last month #and i went in to assess my mental state to offer an honest evaluation but like. i was okay. genuinely doing okay. #which. huh. #i'm like. things are fine :) #suddenly the convo i had with my dorm neighbor about contentment being a good thing and not Settling For Not Bad makes sense 😭 #who was gonna tell me that i was mentally ill. #anyway y'all have been living like this the whole time?? the world is so much more manageable #not Y'all. i know the people reading this. but the general population #valentine notes

[sproutzai]

the disorder faking in this generation is genuinely wild. like.

#yiure meaning to tell me you have DID #a disorder known for severe memory loss #a disorder known to be so so difficult to disgnose to anyone unrer the age of 18 #and all of ur alters r fictional cjaracters?? all of them remember to sign off with a silly emoji?? all remember how to use a phone?? #bullshit genuine bullshit i dont care #maybe thats because i have an interest in psychology but . be so for realm #if youre gonna fake a disorder at least do the minimum amount of research #i dont even qanna get STARTED on the “autism” community #“w-wait this isnt normal??” and its like. being tired after social events. #i guarentee it is normal. #Good lord stop diagnosing yourself off tiktok or instagram reels #see genuine psychiatrists / doctors 😭. #self diagnosing isnt valid #never will be #btw #if you think you have a disorder do research and dont announce it like youve been diagnosed for the past 7 years #“i think i have adhd because i have heavy symptoms” is more mentally positive then “I ABSOLUTELY HAVE ADHD I SAW 3 REELS” #exaggeration but you know what i mean #“b-but zai!! what about the people who cant get a diagnosis!!” womp womp?? use the point i said before???? #therell come an age for everyone where they can go be independant with it and seek genuine help bruh #my bad for ranting but like. christ. #normalise mental illnesses but not the way half of you are doing it .... #🌱 idle #🌱 rant

[suffercerebral]

me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects

#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar #no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new #but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me' #i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term #so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now #so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but #it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out #that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance #so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial #but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal #although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive #i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary #ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness #which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days #and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself #im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles #but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy #and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me #i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this #i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself #im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body #im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up #and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe! #so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please #and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching #between numbness and overwhelming agony #what the fuck am i talking about

[bitchthefuck1]

One of the weirdest things about finding out you're traumatized/mentally ill/neurodivergent as an adult is looking back at all the very obvious signs in your childhood and realizing none of the adults responsible for you were paying attention

#it really is a mindfuck #like all of yall were really asleep at the wheel here #me: exhibiting very obvious symptoms of neurodivergence and mental and physical illnesses #ever parent teacher coach and other authority figure i interacted with: shes just Like That. #fun fact i when i was in elementary school starting in 2nd grade id have to walk to the front of the classroom and read a section of the #board at a time and then go back to my desk and copy it from memory because I couldn't see well enough from my seat and not a single #teacher said or did anything about it until i was in fifth grade. guess who needed glasses. #like they didn't even ask they just let that happen until my fifth grade teacher was like. what are you doing. and i told her i couldn't #read the writing from two rows back and she told me to tell my mom i needed glasses #anyways ms. [redacted] you're the only valid mfer in this place #not even gonna get into the number of coaches who called me lazy or out of shape in middle/high school (even though i was playing multiple #sports a year) when i told them i couldn't breathe after running for only a minute or two. guess who has sports asthma. #maybe this is just being the middle child but like of you're not going to pay attention to me can u at least not immediately call me a liar #when i say something's wrong maybe #those aren't even mental/neurological those are very obvious and easily demonstrated physical issues and you STILL didn't say anything #not even gonna get into all the very obvious signs of mental illness and neurodivergence

[got-that-oh-i-mean]

Tbh I don’t think revealing somebody else’s mental health issues and making it about yourself is ‘classy’ at all. Writing about your exes being a dick and dumping you by phone is one thing. Writing about them being depressed is invasive.

I for one don't see where Taylor is revealing any of Joe's mental health issues.

The only lyrics that would presumably be about a depression in So Long, London according to Genius are

You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days

but "blue days" don't equal depression, he could just be moody

and

Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away

which I interpret as him drifting away from her and their relationship, which obviously can happen without being depressed

I don't follow him, but I don't think he ever opened up about having mental health struggles? Whereas Taylor has and I don't think she would be that done-deaf and demeaning toward people suffering from it. I'm pretty sure she had the opportunity with some other exs and yet she never did, so I don't think she would start now.

If you have another interpretation of the lyrics I'd be happy to read it! Hope you still enjoy the album!

#Taylor Swift #Joe Alwyn #So Long London #TTPD #The Tortured Poets Department #Asks #Two other things not worth saying in the main post #is that 1. being sad is not the same as being depressed so until someone can tell me about more supposed symptoms #or he reveals he suffered from it #i'm not just gonna assume that joe has clinical depression because it's not our job to diagnose people #(well it's actually my day job but i get paid for it and i don't do it with strangers i know nothing about) #and 2. being depressed is not an excuse to act like shit with the people who are close to you love you and try to help you #I say this as someone who went through 3 waves of diagnosed depression from 14 to 25 and who deals with a chronic mental illness

[local-limebug]

what the fuck is up with the rise in trans hate how are people this sensitive about what someone else wants to do with their own body

#limebug.txt #literally its my life and i can live it however i want #and if the people around me try to stop me i WILL cut them off idc who they are i'm sorry #just fucking. let people live. god #if i let my hate win the way bigots let theirs win i'd be fucking lynched by religious mobs #insult my identity and i have to deal with it cause its your freedom of speech but i insult yours and i'm gonna go to a fake bad place?? #god i hate religious people sometimes #so many transphobes either call it a mental illness or hate it because god said so and both of those are such STUPID takes #religion. well thats self explanatory #but mental illness?? #that tells me everything i need to know about what they think of actual mentally ill people too #you wanna stop ppl from transitioning because its mental illness?? gonna take away bodily autonomy from other mentally ill ppl too now?? #and ik they do with institutionalization and shit but that's such bs too #people deserve help but they only need to be locked up if they are hurting someone else #that's my controversial opinion for the day: people who only harm themselves dont deserve to have their autonomy taken away #even if they are hurting themselves. you can try to help but if someone doesnt want help then leave them tf alone #and what really differentiaties piercings and tattoos from 'self mutilation' anyway #'god made you one way you cant change' fucking cry about it. humans have made the technology and i am going to utilize it #i will desecrate the face of god without hesitation. #i will mutilate myself gladly. i should have the legally protected right to mutilate myself because it falls under bodily autonomy. #transphobes are not the brightest

[scarletiswailing347]

just finished reading delilah's statement, there was a lot of things in it that was either only tangentially related to the allegations or straight up unnecessary to put (in particular: putting in media references and cc metrics several times as flavor text, detailing the don turnt situation with no claims of whether or not permission was granted by the affected party, namedropping certain ccs who had nothing to do with the allegations, and putting the tweet and yearbook photo of one of the ppl who put forward that zam was a bully with no claims of whether or not permission was granted) which contributed a lot to the 47-page length

honestly so far what im getting is that there was a Lot of toxicity on multiple sides like not even just between zam and delilah

#tw abuse #there are multiple instances in particular that i wanted to get more context of #in particular how did zam go from telling delilah to khs to becoming her bestie??? and why did she call kab whos a 16 yo a worthless whore? #theres also several parts that made me think that her rep for jumping to conclusions isnt entirely unfounded #like you can excuse her mental state at the time for a lot of it but there are some that are just. where did you get that #i dont wanna reread the entire thing so ill just be citing that part at the end where she accused zam of not actually being in a bad mental #place and was just trying to manipulate her cause he was in vacation in nyc and was smiling in one of the pics is reaching #also hypocritical cause she was also in a bad mental place during twitchcon but was smiling happily in pics and videos #also dont like the fact that she put the yearbook photo there and the fact it was even posted publicly in the first place #it was probs for verification purposes but holy shit youre basically barely a step away from doxxing zam #apparently bormethius is putting out a statement so ill be waiting for that as well #fucken hell i get that delilah saw posting this publicly as necessary in order to get some kind of closure #but theres so many layers to this that airing this out to an uninvolved and contextless audience was only inevitably gonna make things wors #especially considering a lot of evidence has apparently been lost to deletion or the fact that they were done in vcs #but its too late for that now so i can only hope we get the full picture soon cause everybody involved looks so incredibly toxic #idk i just hope all parties involved will be able to move away from this and get better in the future #cause like theyre still young and immature man #(although the fact that theyre young and immature def contributed to how this even happened in the first place 💀) #with that being said #the drama channels are 100% in the wrong here #they like to present themselves as arbiters of truth but theyre nothing but glorified tabloids #allegations

[niishi]

god twitter is just a mental illness... it can be cured look at me im living proof

#tbh thats probably not very inspiring #but okay hear me out #i just have regulsr mental illness now #not twitter induced mental illness #which is arguably the worst kind #i go on there and im like god #how do these ppl even function #like everyone hates everyone so much #ppl cannot just vibe with their bros #if youre havin a good time #someone who doesn't like you is gonna go out of their way to fuck with you #for some kind of moral performance #wnd its like #omgggggg like telling you to go outside wouldn't even matter bc youre just miserable in general #everything is a performance in order to get ppl to see you a certain way #yall should just intersct with ppl who make you happy and that you like #it honestly makes me sad #like ppl act like they have so much ownership over other people #like if you bully ppl enough and make them scared enough you can control everyone to be just like you want them to be #like some stuff just aint that fucking serious #yall shouldnt even be acknowledging it #its an outrage addiction and ppl who are hooked will have a hard time seeing how much theyre harming themselves and others #and thats so sad #like youre wastjng so much time trying to control others instead of looking inward and finding your own internal peace #theyre wasting their life by acting like this

[autistic-katara]

i need to read some fanfiction before i actually kill myself

#cant even get into why bcz holy fuck #this is way more complicated than it needs to be and no one’s told me anything except the person whos supposedly in the wrong #god i hate mentally ill 13 year olds theyre the worst ppl to be around #and i’m saying that as someone who was one a couple years ago #no one’s telling me anything but whatever the fucks going on here’s making you assholes mentally worse on all sides #and jesus fuck none of u r communicating with eachother either and all i’m hearing is one side of the story but apparently there’s more tha #i’m not being told for some reason #and i really wish i could stay out of this but i can’t bcz one of the ppl involved is my sibling the other is either the problem or being #gaged up on depending on who u ask and the other others trying to kill themself over this and i had to be the dick who called their mum at #10pm and just jesus christ guys what r ur fucking problems every one of u get therapy bcz u seriously need it #ok i guess i did get into it nvm #cw suicide #vent #(?) #what was this post about again? #oh yeah gonna go read fanfic to try nd calm myself down after my go-to unhealthy coping mechanism didn’t work #then maybe i can FINALLY finish writing #ryan shut the fuck up

[awek-s-archived]

.

#i really cant tell if im like . a lousy person everyone has a valid reason to hate . and ive somehow manipulated my friends into thinking im #not a bad person . or into being my friends in the first place . #or if its just my anxiety playing up and making me feel bad for being alive and for not being well liked here for whatever reason #i feel guilty for having friends here bc so many friends of friends dont like me? and i dont know why? and like im not trying to be immature #about it . i understand thats part of life and its ok. but it just makes me feel like im a bad person who has somehow convinced my friends #that im not and any day theyre gonna wake up and realise im bad and leave me too #i know how deluded that sounds btw believe me it's the mental illness but yeah idk #but the fact so many people dont like me really has me feel like im a bad person so ....... yeah #sorry i just wanted to vent in tags #aweks.txt

[elytrafemme]

every single fictional character i like should split and have mood swings like me. "ohhhhh but it's not canotical" "ohh they have good control over their emotions and stable views on the world" i don't fucking care. i see cq in his fake desert i see klavier's control dialogue i see dahlia and her serial murders and komaeda and the gun literally fuck with me right now. we need to stop being cowards about our fictional character headcanons i think everyone should kill people always because i can't

#neg #omg am i having an episode right now is this episode coded is that what we're doing oh my God should we tell all your friends #should we call the president oh my God mare is having an episode right now guys don't freak but it's finally happening aaaahhh #we've been waiting forever but our queen's finally back she's having an episode oh my God we stan like crazy oh my God i'm calling everyone #can we have a cake at the episode tell me we're having cake at the episode i'm buying a cake it's official girls oh my God AAAH #she's so crazy LOVEEE her. oh my God!!! #anyway i think my blond bitch rockstar fave should get to kill the titular character! #sorry i hate the fucking name censoring in tags i'm trying to ween off of it cause it's like not accessible tee bee aych #but like i need to speak my truth so we're doing epithets #he should literally get to kill him and rip his carpet up WHY DOES NOBODY TALK ABT IT #they all make him cry or whatever this isn't the right blog for this but i've got images okay #enough crying enough consolation hugging where's my apology only for it to not be accepted and things to be fucking over #where's MY catharsis you know. this barbie needs catharsis! #i'm super light headed i should super stop posting but like who am i going to text in these conditions #the answer is nobody nobody wants to text my phone like they can blow it up it's fine w/e #i'd make instagram stories but it'll be like a whole thing and they'll report me again for mental illness #i'm going to stop apologizing for having breakdowns publicly actually. if you were like this you would too. #actually maybe you wouldn't because you'd be soooo well adjusted well i'm a weak bitch like actually #and my bones are fucking breaking right now so i'm gonna tell everyone about it <3 #i licherally don't want to damage public property now and by that i mean my room LMAOOOO #this is nawt public property but the paints so nice

[oflgtfol]

it is really unfortunate the way suicidality is talked about nowadays because it’s either all a joke so it’s hard to discuss in a serious capacity or it’s so upsettingly serious that you can’t even discuss it without fear of like being institutionalized

#brot posts #im really glad to say this but ive had such a huge improvement this past month that like #for the first time in YEARS. i am not suicidal #dont know if its permanent but like it genuinely feels permanent because i have not gone this long without #thinking about it at least in passing #to go this long without a single thougjt of it at all feels like its permanent and i have to remind myself its literally been A Month #but anyway #sorry i saw a post thats only tangentially related to this but im like. irked right now #like its hard to stress this in the current har har i m gonna kill myself era. but like if you seriously think negatively about #people who are suicidal or have killed themselves; if you're religious and believe suicide is a mortal sin; if you cannot offer #any sort of reasonable sympathy for someone who is suicidal #then like. im sorry! but that is ableism! #it feels kinda wild to associate ableism with suicidality what with the current environment and weird funny-zation of being suicidal #but like legitimately. this is a mental illness. it is not a laughing matter and it should be met with kindness and an appropriate #level of weight that it deserves - not levity. not annoyance. and not brushing it off for whatever reason #im saying this with the clear head that i now have a month into zero suicidal thoughts after years of daily suicidal thoughts #having that stark contrast in the quality of my life really shines a light on just how utterly fucked it was to live like that #and it really smarts at me to finally reach the light at the end of the tunnel and then have people act like it wasnt as bad as it was #people who have never experienced it before themselves - like who are you to tell me my own life and experiences and illness? #to act like it wasnt even an illness in the first place?

[a-concert-just-for-me]

Tw: vent meme but containing negativity, depression, suicidal ideation. Sorry

Constantly resisting the urge to ask your friends during casual conversations if they’d care if you killed yourself because that’s such a fucking unhinged thing to ask and awful position to put someone in but. Also wanting sososo badly to know

#depression #tw suicidal ideation #the depressed mutuals gonna love this one #I shan’t but the temptation is so real #I think there is something wrong with me. you know besides the usual #the obvious answer is yes they’d care #but like would they really #bc who is going to tell someone to their face that they don’t care #in reality they’d get over it pretty quickly I think #or maybe that’s just me being mentally ill and pretending I can read people’s minds #who knows anymore #my perception of reality has never been the kindest #I can point out the holes in my thinking but it never makes it feel less real #anyway hashtag justgirlythings

[satanfemme]

with every passing day I just grow more anti-psych tbh. like. burn the whole industry to the ground and start over lol

#don't unfollow me I've literally got brain problems myself and support mental disorder rights and etc etc etc #but I’m serious. especially lately with the recent influx of casual ableism... has anyone else noticed that too or? #would apologize for not listing examples of what I mean but honestly.... there's so many examples just Look Around You #and it gets to the point where you ask ''is it fair to label all 'dangerous' people mentally ill?'' and the answer is: #any label that is being applied to both social classes ''serial killers'' and ''trauma/abuse victims'' is a fucking meaningless label 100% #and needs to be scrapped. #idc about who is or isn't ''technically'' mentally ill. it's a label that's being applied. look at who it's applied to. #if you think ''mentally ill'' is a neutral - let alone positive - label in our society idk where u live #and if u think about the full subjectivity of the mentally ill label - as well as individual diagnoses labels - for even one second #where stigmatizing labels can be applied or taken away by authority figures to anyone for any fucking reason they want! #...I mean! u see why maybe it's all kinda just one big pseudoscience huh! #even if ur using diagnoses for the ''correct'' reasons it's still borderline meaningless too tbh #you wanna diagnose people to 1. help understand a set of disabling traits that commonly co-exist in individuals #and 2. help predict the best course of ''treatment'' for that subjective group of traits #but???? I mean. actually look at this exact diagnosis process in action #where it's all about just Guessing based on ?personal anecdote and the therapist's personal biases??????? #''you're sad a lot of the time. obviously this is because your brain is fucking broken with Too-Sad-Disorder -- #-- no we aren't gonna do any objective medical tests lol I'm the doctor here I can tell your brain is broken just by looking at u obv 🙄'' #and that's how u get diagnosed like 100 dif drugs to fix an environmental problem. it's insane #the way therapists are always underdiagnosing or overdiagnosing or #''well XYZ disorder is very rare and usually happens in rich boys so I think you have Hysterical Bitch Disorder instead <3'' #and u can't even ''well not all therapists'' this cause like. why is it that every single person I know has had experiences like this #if it were really an isolated problem it would not be so universal. nor would it be fundamental to the field's knowledge #how is it anything more than a guessing game at best? #I'm serious. anyway. I wish every psych institution a very die