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#and i thought they were deserving of basically having their own post since the last one follows right after the first
trashfangirlsworld · 1 month
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Hello! I've been inactive due to the current events in the mcyt community, but I've been keeping up with the qsmp admin situation and I thought I'd share some opinions because the amount of doomposting I've seen the last few weeks has been more than I've seen in any fandom in a while and I feel like it's reached the point where people really need to chill the fuck out because they're not thinking straight and actively not helping. Everything I'm gonna say is based on stuff I've seen on both tumblr and twitter.
they should not promote/release merch! : one of the things that baffles me the most tbh; how do you expect any employee to be payed then? Merch is so far the only big source of income for the server besides q's own cc salary or whatever income they get through the official qsmp channel on twitch and youtube (which I don't think is a lot). "I get that they said they have no funds, but still it doesn't feel right"... sorry but at this point I don't know what to tell you, do you expect them to pull money out of their asses? You can't demand that they stop making merch and then complain that they can't afford the twitter admins at the same time. If you don't feel comfortable buying anything from them it's fine obviously, but if your reason for it is that you're helping the admins then I have bad news for you. I have seen people propose that quackity sets up a patreon, and while I think it would be a good idea, I understand why he's not doing it, since with the merch he can at least give something back to the people that choose to support his project instead of people just giving him money for free, especially with what's happening now. Also with how much hate he's been receiving simply for the merch I can't imagine that a patreon would be recieved well.
we don't know if the money is going to the admins/ they should not use pomme's likeness! : the money is definitely going to go to the employees and admins because otherwise the server would not last. And as much as I understand people feeling protective over pomme's admin, quackity studios is very much allowed to sell merch of the character because it is not the likeness of the admin, it's a minecraft model made by the people that work there. Would you have rathered they skip her character entirely? Do you really think that would have been okay?. Also correct me if I'm wrong, but I've seen posts and tweets saying that pomme's admin has been confirmed to come back with the other eggs whenever it happens by pierre, who talked with her admin.
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the admins of the update accounts got fired, it means they want to fire everyone, they aren't making things better! : it sucks that the updates accounts had to end and I feel bad for every twitter admin that clearly cared a lot about the project, but unfortunately it had to happen if there simply isn't enough money to pay them adequately like they deserved and ultimately the update accounts were not essential to keep the project going, so it makes sense that they were let go unfortunately. This is not gonna be the case for the egg admins because if they got fired (which they didn't), the server would basically end. Just because a cc does not know when they will be back does not mean it's not gonna happen. Just because tubbo randomly said that he's not sure if they will be back does not mean they were fired; tubbo is normally not a reliable source of information, even less so when he's been live nonstop for the past 20 days, which is prior to everything happening. If you genuinely didn't expect a reduction in non essential staff considering everything, then you have unreasonable expectations on how this stuff goes. As I write this, I'm seeing people saying that "they would understand this decision if q had set up a patreon to pay the admins", and once again I don't understand how people don't realize why quackity might not be keen on the idea of having his fans pay his own employees for his own project instead of, you know, doing it himself; and, again, do not fool yourself into thinking it would be recieved well. That being said, it's fair to criticize how everything was communicated to the admins, but I'll get to this in more detail later.
quackity should not have uninstalled social media, he's trying to avoid everything! : he's not avoiding anything, he's been off social media for a while now, which is why it took him that long to remove wilbur from the server. He has every right to not want to look at social media, as his focus should be on restructuring his server instead of doomscrolling on twitter because people think he needs to see how much people dislike him. The only people that he should talk to are those that have important information to tell him, like josè with the document. He explicitly said on stream where to contact him if you have helpful information and I'm sure that despite multiple well liked posts saying not to spam his email, people are definitely doing it anyway, which is probably gonna slow the whole thing down even more. I hope josè's document is able to be seen with pierre's help as well.
quackity studios is not communicating with their employees and leaving them in the dark and that's not okay : I agree with this. i think a huge chunk of doomposting lately has been due the lack of communication not with the audience, but with the admins, and they deserve to know what is happening behind the scenes more then us since this is about their current or future job.... that being said, I do kind of understand why they're being so secretive and shutting everyone out, and that's due to all the "leaks" that have been spread online. I understand the anger but I really wish some people would realize that discussing leaked bts lore stuff in ccs discord servers does not help the situation at all and instead makes it seem like they're only doing this to rile up the fandom against quackity studios by using the lore of people's fav characters.
At the end of the day, I think people just aren't used to dealing with a situation that does not have a clear cut solution and someone to clearly hate, so the result is this doomposting and the over aggressiveness toward anything related to the project. Personally, I haven't witnessed anything that made me lose faith in the qsmp like some people have been saying, as every change that we've seen so far coincides with what quackity said on stream a while ago. I only wish things were communicated properly to the admins clearly, as they're the ones most affected, so I hope that's resolved soon. Ultimately quackity is singlehandedly restructuring the server from basically zero, has had to fire people that were misusing money and power and, depending on what josè's document said, is probably gonna have to fire some more. This is not an easy process, nor a quick one, you're not gonna hear about sunshine and rainbows for a while and doomposting about everything you hear because you expected quick change is useless. Think before you speak, have a clear head and most importantly have empathy.
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ilygetou · 2 years
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CHEERLEADER STUDENT GOT CAUGHT FUCKING OLD PERVERT! ft. toji fushiguro
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PA1R1NG$: pervert! toji fushiguro x fem! cheerleader! reader.
$YNOPSIS: you have been a cheerleader for so long, and your highschool finally, decided to open a cheerleading club just when you were about to graduate but that still didn‘t stop you from joining the club (and fucking the club leader). the person who runs the club was a old man who looked like he was in his mid forties, you took a liking to this old guy, so you promised yourself that you won‘t be graduating until you get his attention, and you did, way more than his attention though.
C/W: you got caught, creampie, blowjob, cum swallowing, slight degrading, slight nipple play, age gap (toji in his mid thirties while reader’s age is not mentioned but is an adult), groping, spit, fingering, clothed sex (?), dacryphilia, rough sex, overstimulation, no after care, little bit of crack at the end.
N0TE: this is nasty, i‘m sorry. (kinda rushed).
last post until kinktober!! :))
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your highschool had just opened an cheerleading club—it was finally your time to shine, you‘ve been practicing cheerleading every since you were young. You‘re mom seemed to like it, so she had you practice it, at a very young age.
you were planning on entering this new cheerleading club, to show off your moves—but the problem was, you were in your last year of highschool, meaning you‘d only get a short amount of time to participate in this club.
you didn‘t care though—not anymore, now that you saw the person who runs the club. your excitement came rushing straight back.
it was an old man with the name of; ‘Toji fushiguro’ he looked like he was in his mid forties but was very good looking, very attractive for his own age. He has black hair that suits him very well— a big scar on the side of his lips that he got from god knows what. he wears a tight black shirt that hugs his abs so well, flexing them and showing them off, he wore an oversized white pants along the shirt. His fit was very basic but it looked so hot on him.
Now— it has been two weeks since you joined the club, and not once has toji every praised your moves, despite you being the best out of all the girls.
You thought that you were doing bad, so bad that you didn‘t deserve to earn a single praise.
you weren‘t upset about it though, because you know you‘re good, and this was just Mr. Fushiguro‘s cold personality. So, you decided to ask him to watch you play, the two of you, alone.
“you want me to watch you practice?” you nodded your head “and why should i do that?” you let out a frustrated sigh, hesitant to talk, you looked on the floor before letting out another sigh.
“it‘s because you don‘t seem to approve of my moves, i‘m trying to do my best—but not once has you praised my moves and it makes me feel like i‘m not doing good enough to earn your approval.”
toji snickers causing you to furrow your eyebrows, “its cheerleading y/n, not that serious of a sport—i don‘t have to praise you or comment on your moves, you should be the one who knows whether you‘re doing good or bad, not me.”
you shook your head, this was not the reason why you want him to watch you practice. “Mr. fushiguro, could you please just watch me?” you pleaded, eyes batting and lips forming into a pout.
toji clicked his tongue and then let‘s out a frustrated groan, “fine.”
you dragged toji to the empty cheerleading club room and then seated him on one of the seats, “m‘kay! ’m gonna start now.” You first started with little stretches, giving toji your back and stretching your hands till they reached your ankles.
flashing toji your ass — due to you giving him your back. your baby pink panties hugging your fat pussy lips so well, a wet damp on your panties that was visible to toji.
toji couldn‘t help but stare, cupping his crotch in his hands in order to hide his boner.
you then turn to face toji, and start with a simple motion, moving your hands up and down. And then you started doing a high V and a low V.
so far, your were doing so well — doing basic cheerleading moves. you then started doing the clasp, your arms by your sides you then bend your arms at your elbow, and then cup your hands together and clap.
your panties were being flashed to toji with every move you made, making it uncomfortable for toji to sit as his boner kept getting bigger, his boxers getting tighter — making toji shift uncomfortably.
toji knows what he‘s doing was wrong, staring and eyeing his students private areas. what kind of fucking teacher would do that?
despite you moving and focusing on your moves, you noticed tojis very obvious bulge, turning your back again — and bending over, flashing your ass once again to your teacher.
you were getting close to where toji was seated, moving teasingly and slowly with your ass on full view. from what toji can tell, this was not a cheerleading move.
you started rubbing your ass against toji’s crotch, moving up and down on his clothed dick as he threw his head back — not complaining or scolding you, not telling you that what you‘re doing is wrong. because, he‘s enjoying it. just like the pervert he is.
toji placed both of his hands on the flesh of your ass, your round ass that felt so soft. you stopped your movements and turned to toji, getting on your knees before tugging down his pants and freeing his hard cock, “Mr. Fushiguro, you‘re soo big” you said, looking up at toji with doe-eyes.
you gave the tip of his cock a lick before sliding his whole length into your mouth, bobbing your head up and down, hollowing your cheeks as you played with his balls.
“f-fuck, what a fucking whore — sucking on your teachers d-dick–! shiiit.”
toji was letting out low grunts — pulling on your hair to push his cock deeper inside your mouth, his cock twitching as he came deep inside your throat. making you swallow his cum.
“m-mr. fushiguro, w-will you fuck m-me? p-please?” you slide down your panties and spread your pussy lips apart, revealing your tight hole to toji that was dripping with slick — begging to be filled and fucked with toji‘s dick.
toji let out a groan before running his fingers on your wet folds — and spitting on them, pushing one thick finger in, which made you let out an audible moan. thrusting his finger in and out of your tight pussy, in so much speed.
“a-ah!” your moans echoed throughout the club‘s walls, wet sound also being heard.
“c-cumming!!” you came all over toji‘s digit, white fluids covering his fingers. toji took ahold of your waist and seated you on his lap, he cupped your breast and started groping them, pinching your nipples from above the fabric of your shirt.
you were letting out low whimpers as you bite the bottom of your lip, trying to surpass any type of sound from slipping.
toji rubbed your nipples — occasionally, pinching them and twisting them.
you had your face covered with your hands as you were too embarrassed to show toji how drool was dripping down your chin from his teasing.
“mmm, your tits so fucking soft — shit – your nipples so hard too, would be bad if i didn‘t suck on em’ right?” you eagerly nod your head, slurring “please” as toji licked your nipples.
you were squirming in your place as toji licked your nipples so roughly, biting on them gently — causing you to let out a loud whimper of his name. your cunt getting wet by the second, making a huge mess on toji’s lap.
“fuck baby — your pussy is makin’ a big mess on my lap, how do ya’ think we should solve this problem?” toji said, a sadistic smile on his face as his hands went in between your legs and pinched your clit which made you let out a muffled sob.
“p-please” you pleaded, toji chuckled at your desperateness, “please what? can’t understand if all you’re going to say is please.” you let out a sob and gripped tojis shirt as you looked up at him with teary eyes, “please fuck me, t-toji.”
toji stared at you with awe, you saying his name turned something within him because without wasting a second toji got up & picked you up before pinning you against a wall, so roughly.
moving his hips, toji slides his cock against your folds, throwing his head back and groaning, he rubs his cock along your pussy a few times, teasing you both as the veins of his cock throb and glide through your puffy folds.
toji slowly pushed the head of his cock inside your dripping cunt, your slick coating his length before he fully pushed in.
the sharp pain of being stretched made you let out a muffled scream, and the tense squeeze of your insides making toji lose all self control.
he begun his rough and fast thrusts, jolting his hips against you as he threw his head back the warmth of your cunt getting toji closer to his climax.
“s-so hot, so tight, fuckk”
your eyes rolled to the back of your head with ever jolt of tojis hips, your mind was fuzzy, you couldn’t think or comprehend anything, the only thing eating your mind was the feeling of toji’s big dick abusing your cunt.
“c-can’t — can’t anymore, tojiii”
you felt your orgasm hit faster than you’ve expected — milking toji’s cock dry. calloused hands making their way to your neck and slowly squeezing them.
rutting inside you despite you just cumming making you let out uncontrollable moans and whimpers, his cock hitting your g-spot, repeatedly. getting another orgasm out of you.
“fuckin’ greedy bitch — cumming twice now, f-fuck, what about me? huh? you were the one who started this after all.”
toji tightened his grip on your neck, thrusting inside you more roughly, “t-tight pussy takin’ me so well, oh fuckk—!”
with just a few more thrusts toji felt his orgasm hit him, his cock twitching inside you as ropes of thick cum filled you up.
tojis grip on your neck loosened up a bit, he was panting — trying to regain his breath before he slowly pulled out of you, his cock softened, nicely.
before toji could tuck his cock back in a loud thud of the clubs door was heard, causing both you and toji to jump.
“huh?” there stood a guy with a darkish hair color and spiky hair, he looked so disgusted and so confused. “oh! m-megumi!” you spoke, a unintentional smile plastered on your face as you waved a hi to megumi.
“what the fuck were you doing?” toji didn’t have any reaction, he didn’t even have a shocked expression he just sat there, emotionless.
“what do you think?” it was tojis turn to speak, megumi felt himself boil up with anger and disgust — without arguing any further he just left.
“what is wrong with that boy?” toji muttered, you brushed it off and looked up at toji with a huge grin on your face, “Mr. Fushiguro, can i have your number?”
toji looked at you confused, “no? of course not.” your brows furrowed and a pout covered your lips, “but you just fucked me!”
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creedslove · 11 months
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DESERVE IT - PART SEVEN
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Javier Peña x f!reader
Summary: Javier got jealous of you and you boyfriend and that leads to an argument, but once he needs your help, you find yourself compelled to help him
Warnings: mentions of smut, angst, fluff and a lot of stuff, jealousy, argument, mentions of violence, blood, bruises, cheating (idk to me that's cheating, sorry not sorry Manu lmao)
A/N: alright, let me start by telling you all that I was planning this chapter to be like 2k long or so but instead I got so carried away with it as always because I don't know this Javi series makes me feel things and then I just write these things. A lot happens in this chapter and I know not everyone will be happy because some of you like my boyfriend DEA agent Javier Peña to suffer 😭 but i love the final result and I'll continue on the A/N under the chapter so there will be no spoilers here 😉
• PART ONE
• PART TWO
• PART THREE
• PART FOUR
• PART FIVE
• PART SIX
5.7k words
this chapter was made with all my love™ enjoy 💕
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You woke up in a great mood the next morning. You were naked in bed and you felt the slightest hint of desire in your lower belly as you felt the presence behind your stir.
You giggled happily and sank your face into the pillow, thinking of last night and the flashes you had of his hands on your body, his lips, his mouth, everything… and the way the same lips trailed kisses down your neck.
"Mm Javi" you whimpered and bit your lips.
"What did you say?" Manu's voice snapped you out of your drunk feeling of sleep and post orgasm and you widen your eyes open. You closed your eyes again "shit" you mouthed and slowly turned to him, giving him a wide smile as if nothing happened
"I said good morning baby" you told your boyfriend and blushed softly, hoping he would buy it, after all you had whispered in a low voice, besides, who assure you you had actually said Javier's name? Maybe you were still sleeping after all. However, as much as you would love to trick yourself and pretend nothing happened so you wouldn't feel guilty, you had to face the truth. You literally fantasized about Javier Peña while having sex with your boyfriend. Not only that, you only came because you kept picturing Javier making you cum and wet his bedsheets with your squirt while Manu tried his best, because you were sure that your boyfriend wouldn't be able to make you do that, not even if he spent the whole day overstimulating you. Javi on the other hand, would be able to make you pour like a fountain in a blink of an eye.
Manu tried his best and you appreciated that… but then, that was his best? Which meant sex with him wouldn't be anything better than what you experienced? You guessed the expression you were looking for was just that. It felt so basic, so bland, and you felt so guilty about summing your relationship up to only that.
You finally had met a nice guy, someone who treated you well and you could feel safe with, so maybe complaining about sex was something shallow? But on the other hand, sex was very important for a relationship, so it was a big deal.
Manu grumbled and nodded "morning princesa, I'll make us breakfast" he kissed your shoulder and got up.
You frowned.
Princesa, he had called you princesa. It sounded so weird, usually Javier was the one who called you that and you loved it, but another man using the same word caused you a weird feeling.
You tried ignoring your own thoughts and went to shower, you wanted to get rid of the sweat, the sticky feeling on your skin and get ready for your day. You still needed to work on your potato salad and a batch of brownies for dessert, just like you'd promised Connie. You would meet up in a few hours for the barbecue, it would be in the patio of your apartment building and Steve was probably already setting up the grill outside, maybe Javier was helping him.
Javier.
He was back in your mind and you didn't seem to catch a break, you hadn't been that hooked on him since you realized you'd fallen in love with that son of a bitch nearly a year ago, and now, even if you had a boyfriend, you were going through a better phase in your job, he was still there, haunting you.
You rinsed your hair and grabbed the soap, washing down your body when you got distracted again.
Your mind went back to the night you found out about his involvement with Los Pepes, how desperate he got, the way he pressed himself against you and began kissing your skin. How got so close to your breasts and you once again let your mind wander and allowed yourself to imagine what would've happened if he pulled your bra a little further, if he'd seen your nipples hardening in front of him. He would massage your tits, you were sure of it, he would squeeze them, pinch your nipples before kissing each of them and lick them.
But he wouldn't be satisfied with it yet, you were sure of it. You just knew he would suckle on your nipples and make you whimper louder than one of his prostitutes.
An obscene thought occurred to you as you pictured Javi licking your tits: had he ever been with a pregnant woman? If so, had he ever tried her breast milk?
You didn't know where that came from and it got you even more weirded out to picture yourself, pregnant with his baby letting him try the warm droplets that dripped down your breasts.
You scoffed at yourself, Javier wasn't trust worthy to be fuck buddies, let alone the father of your child, and yet, the scenario made your clit throb.
And before you could stop yourself, you had your fingers inside of your slippery pussy, pretending they were his fingers instead.
Coming back to the other night, you enjoyed picturing that if you hadn't pushed him away and locked yourself in your apartment, you would probably get down on your knees and blow his cock.
You hadn't seen Javier naked, but you felt his cock a couple of times when he hugged you and accidentally let your body too close to his waist. His pants were tight and he was big, and you were suspicious you occasionally gave him a boner or two by accident. So you felt he was big, it seemed that way.
So you pictured yourself freeing his cock, watching his tip glistening with pre cum and taking it to your mouth, sucking his dick while he would grip your hair and you would stroke his base.
Then you just knew you would massage his balls and lick them too, his balls would be so heavy carrying all the thick load he would empty on your pretty face.
And with that dirty, obscene fantasy, you managed to cum, biting your lips so you wouldn't make a lot of noise. And without even knowing, Javier had sent you to a delicious orgasm for the second time in less than 24 hours.
When you came down to your senses, you sighed disappointed in yourself, feeling another wave of guilt. As if it wasn't bad enough you'd fantasized about the guy while your boyfriend was on top of you, now you were finger fucking yourself thinking of him, your boyfriend just a few meters away from you in the kitchen making you waffles for breakfast and you rubbing one off for the guy next door.
You stared at your own reflection in the mirror as you brushed your teeth.
Just as guilt came, it quickly faded. You didn't know exactly what had changed in this whole Javier-Y/N mess you'd been living, but after the Los Pepes night - you decided to call it that way - it was like you were letting your guard down around Javier, and in the worst way: sexually.
You felt so tired of behaving like a nice woman, like a decent person and there was a side of you that just wished you could drop everything you had in life and surrender to Javier. You literally felt like whoring around and of course, you'd learned from the best.
So what was really stopping you from knocking on his door and letting him fuck you?
Your boyfriend for instance, you reminded yourself. Manu was such a nice person, you liked him, but you didn't desire him.
And the way Javier looked at you and asked you if you were gonna care if he got killed made you want to slap him in the face. How dare he think otherwise? How dare he think you wouldn't be utterly broken? Yes, he was an asshole, but he was your asshole and you hated to even think of that possibility.
When Manu knocked on the door you finally went back to your senses. What the fuck was all that that crossed your mind? It was like you were put under a spell while in the shower.
How could you even consider going after Javier after everything? Or when you had a nice relationship right there?
You decided to lie to yourself some more, at least it was a safe space for now.
•••
Javier groaned as he stepped outside and immediately put on his sunglasses. The warm weather and the sun bothered him deeply, especially at the little sleep he got the night before.
Well, not exactly the night before, because he'd spent the whole night drinking his anger and jealousy away. After what he heard coming from your apartment, coming from your mouth, he couldn't bear being in the same place as you, and especially not being in the same place as your stupid boyfriend.
Javier wanted to kick that door open, get him away from you, but he couldn't do it. It wasn't his place to do it anymore, you'd made your choice and unfortunately he wasn't part of it. So he decided to go out and drink. Of course he could go to a brothel, find himself some company, but he couldn't even trust his own self with that, he'd been so disturbed by everything that went on that the last couple of times he tried doing it he just couldn't get hard. It felt like you were haunting him, your image always lingered around and he couldn't break free from your spell, your presence, your love…
But nothing really mattered anymore, you were with someone else, and judging by the noises you were making you were enjoying every second of it. It pained him, but at the same time he knew it was what you deserved it: someone to love you and make you happy.
Even if it was the right thing, it still hurt him pretty bad. It twisted his guts, left a lump in his throat and the rush of adrenaline turned into a blinding rage he could kill your boyfriend with just a few punches.
So Javier sat down at a dirty table in some sketchy bar and drank one shot after the other.
He managed to get home in the morning, god knows how, and blacked out on his couch.
He didn't sleep nor rested, he literally passed out. However, a shower and a cigarette later, he was ready for Murphy's barbecue. He'd rather skip it and avoid facing you and Manu, but if he did it so, he would have to explain to Steve why he wasn't there, or worse, Steve could just knock on his door and make things more embarrassing for him. So he sucked it up and went to help his friend with the grill and the burgers, greeting Connie on his way and complimented her looks, being just the tiniest bit of flirt, as usual of Javier Peña, just a respectful way to remind women how pretty they were.
You, on the other hand, managed to avoid Manu's kisses during breakfast and after putting the brownies in the oven, you got to the egg salad. He was all the time hovering around you, certainly wanting to repeat last night's activities but you weren't in the mood.
Correction: you weren't in the mood with him, but you couldn't simply fantasize about Javier to get started so your boyfriend could have a quickie when you were just a couple of hours away from seeing him. How could you even look Javier in the eye after all the dirty thoughts you had of him? How could you act normal knowing the only reason why you had two mind blowing orgasms was thinking of him touching you, making you his and treating you like a slut?
You sighed as you finished peeling the potatoes and felt relieved to see Manu had given up trying to make up with you and went to get changed.
As you got yourself into nicer clothes, you knew it was time to go and just hoped everything would be alright.
Manu helped you carry the dishes as you went to the patio and found Steve, Connie and Javi.
Olivia was playing with a doll and as soon as she spotted you, she smiled big, extending her little arms to you and wanting you to pick her up.
You placed the bowl with your potato salad down and went to pick up the little girl. You lifted her up and twirled around holding her making her giggle "hi princess!!! I missed you!" You said excitedly and tickled her small tummy, earning some other adorable giggles from her.
Javier watched you from afar. His gaze wouldn't leave you for a single moment, hidden under his sunglasses, he took in all of you, of your body, of your clothes and how carefree and happy you were around Olivia. The way you smiled and played with her, as you thought no one was watching you was making it very difficult for him to hate you. He scoffed at himself, he could never bring himself to hate you, but he was trying to keep himself angry, because that was the only way he could be away and not screw things up between you and your boyfriend again.
But you always made his life so damn hard, especially when you were all gorgeous in your summer dress holding a giggly little princess in your arms.
Javier suddenly was taken back to the green fields of his dad's ranch in Laredo.
He could easily see you there, playing with a couple of toddlers - a boy and a girl - as the three of you would feed and pet the horses.
Then, when the sun was setting, the kids would all run to him calling him daddy and fighting each other to be the first one to hug him.
And then you would walk to him, all sun kissed, smelling like jasmine and coconut and would wrap your arms around his neck, welcoming your husband after a long day of hard work. A golden ring around your finger would be more than enough to show the whole town you were Mrs.Peña.
Where the fuck was that coming from?
Javier nearly dropped his can of beer when he realized where his mind wandered, he couldn't believe his brain betrayed him like that.
Since when was he the kind of man who would envision himself as a good husband and decent father of two? That was bonkers, he never wanted to be tied down, let alone be a father.
You were standing a few meters away from him with your boyfriend, the kind of guy who would probably give you that lifestyle because Manu was that kind of guy. Javier wasn't.
"Y/N… can you help me bring some plates?" Connie asked you sweetly and you nodded, putting Olivia down and promising you'd be there soon to play with her.
You followed Connie upstairs and walked into her apartment, it was everything very organized and cleaned. You couldn't help but smile at the pictures on the wall of herself and Steve, on their wedding day, their honeymoon and also pictures with Olivia.
Connie separated the plates she wanted to take downstairs "so… new boyfriend?" She raised her eyebrow and saw you blushing softly.
"Yeah… it's very recent"
"Well, he is very handsome… not Javier handsome, but still…" Connie chuckled at how shocked and surprised you got.
"What do you mean, Connie?" You asked clearing your throat, trying to show your nervousness
"Well, it was pretty obvious to all of us you liked Javi… more than friends, and Javi likes you too, Steve told me so… I mean, Javier hasn't said anything but Steve sees a lot more than it seems and he is positive Javier has romantic feelings for you. Judging by the way he was staring at you earlier, I am sure he does too" Connie gave you a sweet smile "and I think you still like him… listen, Steve told me everything that happened and honestly I think you were very right to completely ignore him at first, but he also told me about Carlos and how Javier protected you" Connie grabbed herself a glass of water and downed in one sip, she was sweaty and you could tell she suffered a lot with the weather in Colombia.
"What I'm trying to say is that if you two like each other then sometimes it is alright to give in and forgive. Look at me and Steve, I thought I was doing what was best for myself and our daughter but it turns out all I did was waste precious time away from my husband. Sometimes we're too proud and we miss out on people we love, so maybe you should talk to Javier, see what really goes on between the two of you" she placed her hand on your shoulder and smiled.
You carried the plates silently as her words wouldn't leave you alone. She did have a point, maybe you needed to talk to Javier, the tension, the unspoken feelings, the fact that sometimes it was so obvious you had feelings for each other and sometimes you couldn't read him even if your life depended on it, was making you stressed out.
"I'm sorry honey, can you go grab some other silverware? I forgot to bring them downstairs" Connie pouted and asked you very nicely, you nodded and quickly made your way upstairs, you were lost in your thoughts and didn't really pay attention where you were going, so you only realized you were standing right in front of Javier was when he stopped literally inches before bumping into you.
You noticed how he towered you, he was strong and a bit intimidating even, being so close to him and smelling his cologne got you thinking maybe Connie wasn't so wrong and maybe you should talk to him. You realized you'd let your walls down a while back and you could no longer act tough and unbothered by him, instead, each time you two saw each other you couldn't help but smile brightly again.
"Hey Javi… you okay?" You frowned softly as you saw he was kind of pale and had dark bags under his eyes, maybe he was coming down with something?
He frowned and shot daggers at you, he'd removed his sunglasses inside.
"Sure, just couldn't get to sleep at night with the neighbor across the hall moaning louder than a pornstar" he spat and gritted his teeth.
You were mortified. You had absolutely no idea he could hear you from his apartment, you didn't know you'd been that loud, no wonder Manu wanted a second round in the morning, he thought all that was for him. If only he knew…
And Javier was pissed off too, that was unexpected.
"Oh god, that's embarrassing, I'm sorry…"
"You're right, Y/N, it's fucking embarrassing" he replied in a rude way which began bothering you, who was he to talk about that? He was the guy who used to have girls over nearly every week, it didn't matter if they were paid or not, but very often you heard noises coming from his apartment, so he had no right to complain about that. "You and that dick shouldn't be making that much noise, it bothers people. It's rude, it's not what decent women do"
You stiffened and returned him the same cold gaze, Javier Peña had such nerve it made you want to stab him sometimes.
"You're right, decent women don't do that, that's why this kind of noises always came from your apartment Javier and all the women you picked up, because you simply can't get in a relationship with someone slightly decent, your partners reflect your personality!" You took a deep breath "it hurts, doesn't it? It hurts to hear someone we like, someone we care about with another person. Thinking that you could be there with them, but knowing you are simply not good enough or not the best option" you said "I hope you heard me through the whole thing, I hope you heard me cumming for my boyfriend…" Well, that was a lie, but Javier didn't have to know about it. "... I hope it has hurt you, because that's exactly how I felt every time I saw women come and go into your apartment when you knew damn well I was in love with you!"
Javi didn't expect you to be so blunt about it, he thought you wouldn't admit it and you were right, it did hurt, it felt horrible, he didn't want to ever feel like that again, and now he was even more sure of the asshole he was to you this whole time.
"What's so special about him, after all? What makes you like him to the point of acting like a wh-"
He stopped himself right there before he could screw things up more than he already had.
"Like what, Javi? Like a whore?" You asked with hurt in your voice "I am not a whore, and you know that. It's not my fault if you're jealous because you lost me… why do you do this? Why do you try to push me away whenever things are improving between us?" You stared at him "you wanna know why I like Manu? Take a good look at him, he's the whole package. He's handsome, younger, stronger, taller, he's not a fucking dirty cop. I think the real question here would be asking yourself why did I ever like you, Javier!" You spat back at him, not having any of his shit.
You thought he would backfire at you, but instead, Javier looked down and nodded, putting his sunglasses on one more time.
"You're right, cariño" he said in defeat "you shouldn't like me, I'm no good" surprising you, he cupped your cheek with his big hand, stroking it gently, and against all odds you leaned into it. "I tried pushing you away because it hurts less when you're not around, I lost you Y/N and there's nothing I can do about it"
Javi turned around and grabbed his coat before exiting the building.
•••
The barbecue didn't go much further after Javier left. You guys sat down, ate and you helped Connie with the dishes, Manu and Steve chatted about business as Olivia played nearby. It could've been a real nice time among friends if you hadn't argued with Javier. But it puzzled you, it wasn't a normal argument, it was something else, it felt almost as an apology, or as a goodbye.
You shook that thought off immediately, a shiver ran down your spine as you couldn't even bear the possibility of that happening. Still, ever since he left, you had an urge to see Javier again. You wanted to check on him, make sure he was alright. You didn't know if it was a gut feeling, your sixth sense or just good old anxiety keeping you company, but you didn't like the way his eyes looked empty when he left, you would only calm down when you saw him again. You knew he was probably buried deep inside some Colombian prostitute, probably making her scream his name but you didn't care, you didn't feel angry after your argument, you felt just sad.
It didn't feel right to rub Manu on his face, especially because you didn't even like Manu that much, you just wanted to hurt Javier for being a cocky motherfucker and you felt really guilty about it. You didn't know if it made sense you felt guilty about it, but you knew you were past that point. You were caught in your own trap and at the same time you wanted to kill Javi, he was the only one you craved.
So after Connie's dishes were perfectly done, you half lied to Manu saying you'd need some time alone because you had a headache. You just occasionally didn't mention your headache went by the name of Javier Peña.
And Manu, being the sweetest and most comprehensive boyfriend on earth, gladly accepted your excuse and went home. He was such a great boyfriend it was starting to become annoying. Or you were starting to come up with reasons to break up with him, after all, you had a good deal with him and you had a bad deal with Javi and of course you were leaning towards the bad one.
So you spent the rest of your day by your door, you were completely silent, no TV, no music just you and a book you were too distracted and anxious to concentrate and actually read it, you just paid attention to every single noise coming from the hallway in hopes it would be Javier arriving home. You thought of using the spare key you had - and you still hadn't returned him - to wait for him in his apartment, but you stopped yourself at the fear of witnessing him arriving with another woman. That would break your heart again, not to mention it would be awkward to everyone as hell.
So you waited, and waited, and waited until you decided it was time to give up and go to bed, it would be another night of the countless you'd spent before hoping Javier would be in the comfort and safety of his home when in reality he was out whoring around.
You had changed into your nightgown and was ready to get under your blankets when you heard mumbling and stumbling coming from outside. Your heart raced and you could tell it was Javier's voice. He was cursing in Spanish and struggling to unlock his door and your heart clenched at the thought of him making out with a woman outside. For a moment you thought of not opening your door, but you realized you could hear only Javier and no one else.
Curiosity took the best of you and you stepped outside your apartment, freezing at what you saw.
"Javi!!!" You whined at the image of him covered in blood, bruised and beaten up.
You immediately teared up at the state he was in, he'd probably been punched a considerable amount of times, a cut right above his left eye was responsible for the amount of blood that stained his face and dripped down his neck and got to his cut.
You hated to see him like that, suddenly that horrible feeling that haunted you earlier made all sense and you ran to him. You'd much rather see Javier arriving home with a woman than all bruised and broken like that, at least he wouldn't be suffering.
You unlocked the door for him and helped him sit down on the couch, which he did with a groan of pain.
He looked at you in silence but smiled softly seeing your presence there, no matter if his whole body hurt, if he had been beaten up by one of the Los Pepes sicario, seeing you there made him better.
You didn't ask him any questions, you would have time for that later, instead you rushed to his kitchen, getting a bowl and filling up with water and ice. You had no idea if that worked for real, but you'd seen several times in movies and TV how someone would sink their face into water to prevent it from swelling.
You also grabbed some cloth and whatever you thought that could be helpful and sat next to him.
"It's okay Javi, I'm here don't worry okay? You're not alone" you reminded him and patiently instructed on what to do.
You didn't know how long you spent wiping all the blood off his face, but you were both relieved to see he hadn't broken any teeth nor his nose. Javi unbuttoned his shirt and removed it with your help, making visible a darkening bruise on his ribs.
You touched it as softly as you could but he winced in pain
"Sorry honey" you said sadly and grabbed the ice pad, letting him place it over so you wouldn't hurt him even more. You hope they hadn't broken any of his ribs.
"It's alright princesa, you're the best nurse in the world" he smiled sadly "you should go home now, I can handle from here, your boyfriend must be waiting, you're all dolled up for bed" he said finally acknowledging your nightgown. Even if he had just been beaten up, he still smirked at your choice of clothing. Manu was a lucky son of a bitch, he thought to himself.
You shook your head "no fucking way I'm leaving you like that Javier. He's not here, and even if he were, I wouldn't leave you" you assured him and saw how he opened his mouth then closed again.
He licked his lips and stared into your eyes.
"Sit on my lap" he asked in a low voice which made you frown in confusion
"What?"
"J-just sit on my lap, I wanna feel you close, cariño, please"
And there they were: his puppy eyes again. How could you say no to broken, beaten, bruised Javier Peña looking every bit vulnerable in front of you?
You didn't think twice before switching to his lap, sitting on top of him comfortably and feeling one of his arms snake around your waist, holding you in place at the same time he buried his face in the crook of your neck.
Javi didn't say anything, he just inhaled your scent quietly, feeling in peace and at home. His body didn't hurt as much now, his heart wasn't aching at that moment. You were pressed against him willingly, not because he grabbed you, but because you wanted to be there.
You took his big hand into yours seeing the dry blood on his knuckles and very softly you began wiping it.
"Looks like you threw a few punches too," you said with a small smile and felt him place his head on your chest. He was so close to your breasts, but he didn't make any attempt to touch you inappropriately, he just rested his tired head against your soft skin and watched as you devotedly wiped someone else's blood from his knuckles.
"I left earlier looking for trouble and found trouble with one of the sicarios from Los Pepes" he explained briefly "he got worse than me, I promise" he thought it was best not to mention the other sicarios shot him in the head right there, in front of him, because they had explicit orders not to hurt the DEA agent who was collaborating with them, so he only chuckled but earned a dirty look from you. He knew you were going to say 'I told you so' and probably lecture you again on how stupid working with these people were, but instead, your eyes softened up and he could only see compassion, affection and maybe, just maybe some love in them.
You wrapped your arms around him, pressing Javier against your body tight, closing your eyes and enjoying the moment.
You'd never been that close to him, it felt so intimate but it was good.
"You know, the guy who left you at the altar is a stupid dick" he suddenly let out, earning a scoff from you
"Your ex's fiancee's current boyfriend probably says the same about you, Javi"
"It's her husband, and he is completely right. I was a dumb dick and what I did was terrible, I didn't want to get married and instead of straight up telling her, I chose the cowardly path. But I apologized to her and she forgave me, because she said if it weren't for me, she wouldn't have met the love of her life and built her family" he smiled "maybe the same can happen for you" his hand stroked your side, as he still held you tight against him.
You couldn't help but laugh softly.
"Who knows, right? Maybe someday I will have a nice husband and a baby of my own"
"I just know I wouldn't make the same mistake twice, Y/N, if you walked down the aisle for me, I'd be happily waiting for you to be my wife"
Javier only realized what he'd said after the words were out in the open. He shouldn't have said that, just a few hours ago he was trying to push you away and now he was low-key proposing to you? Fuck him, he was stupid.
You giggled and stroked his hair
"Aren't you adorable when you aren't a dick?" You tilted your head and pecked his forehead, seeing how hot his skin was "shit, Javi. You're burning up with fever… let me find you some medicine" you tried getting up but he held you tight in place, which caused your hips to move against his rough jeans and you let out a soft whimper.
Javi frowned at first but immediately smirked, his hand cupping your cheek again as the other one rested on your neck, massaging and stroking your skin.
"Need a relief, mi amor? Go ahead, rub yourself against me, I'll be glad to help you… you took care of me and I take care of you" he sweet talked you, his voice was a low rumbling purr and it took you a lot of willpower not to accept his offer. But you shook your head
"I can't Javi, I'm not gonna hump you while you keep burning up" you replied with the same sweetness he addressed you.
Eventually, you convinced him to take a shower and in the meantime you had to rush back to your place to get a tylenol because of course his medicine cabinet was empty.
When he got fresh out of the shower, you gave him two pills and walked him to his bed. Of course Javier wouldn't bother putting on clothes so he just got the towel out of his waist and got under the blankets, giving you only seconds to turn around not to look at his naked body.
He chuckled at your reaction and raised his eyebrow
"What querida? Do I look like the kind of fucker who goes to bed in pajamas? I ain't no Steve" you both laughed together and he took your hand in his, he caressed your knuckles with his thumb
"Stay. Spend the night with me, just to sleep and nothing more, I need you here, mi amor"
_____
A/N: So let me just continue by saying that I had a major headache when I was writing it earlier today and then suddenly it went away because that's the power Javi holds against me. Now, this scene where he asks her to sit on his lap and they have this moment, it felt so intimate and erotic to me, I loved writing it and I hope you guys all enjoyed it as well, because it is probably my favorite scene so far.
I know some of you really love angst and want Javier to suffer but I am aching for a happy ending though I still have no idea what will happen in the next chapters or how many chapters there will be.
And also, please let me hear your feedback!!!!! Let me hear what you think of this chapter let me know if you have a favorite part, you can comment or send me an ask whatever i need to talk about javier 🤌🤌🤌
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Lover 💗 | Bradley Bradshaw Imagine
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TGM masterlist
Characters & Pairings: Bradley Bradshaw x singer!reader (female/romance)
Content Warnings: fluff, mentions of sexism, references to pop culture, profanity | female!reader (she/her) | wc: 5.6k
Requested 📨 yes/no (for @auroradawnwrites 💗)
Premise : When it came to her love life, singer and songwriter Y/n L/n had a reputation where it felt like the world was against her to the point she doubted ever finding her perfect match. Being in the industry for so long made it difficult to envision what a life with her potential soulmate would be like. But sometimes great things come to people who are patient. And finding the person who made Y/n feel like the only girl in the world had that reputation flicker away like dust on a bookshelf.
Note: I know I keep apologizing for the long waits in my requests but I promise it’s because of having to balance school, random shit happening in my life, and wanting to put out a developed, well-thought out story that the requested person deserves 🥹 and I realized about week ago when I started writing this one after finally getting to it after it was sent in February. @auroradawnwrites I saw that you posted last month that you were leaving your blog but if you happen to see this on another account or still have the notifications on for that blog just know I’m so sorry for this taking so long and I hope it was everything you imagined 😭
Songs headcanonned for singer!reader: ‘Love Story,’ ‘Bad Blood,’ ‘Look What You Made Me Do,’ ‘Getaway Car’ ‘You Need To Calm Down’ by Taylor Swift. ‘Love’ by Lana Del Rey. Albums mentioned that are headcanonned for singer!reader: ‘Lover’, ‘1989’ (I just changed it to 1986 to suit the headcanonned year of birth for reader), ‘Reputation,’ ‘Fearless,’ ‘Red’
——————————
“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back our next guest,” Jimmy Fallon grins to the audience, arm slightly raising towards the curtains. “She’s been a friend to The Tonight Show for a long time. Here to celebrate twenty years since her debut and to talk about her newest album ‘Lover,’ singer and songwriter—the one and only, Y/n L/n!!”
There’s no need to turn on the sign reading ‘Applause,’ because the audience are on their feet when the curtains draw open slightly to reveal the beaming popstar. People are waving frantically, whistling, some even on the verge of tears at the fact they were in the presence of their idol. It was even hard hearing the band play from the noise
Y/n smiled the entire walk to Jimmy, blowing kisses at the crowd before embracing the man in a hug and settling down on the arm chair. “Wow, wow, wow,” he shouted, watching her give one last wave as he sat in his own chair. “Hi, Y/n.”
“Hi, Jimmy! It’s wonderful to see you again.”
“It’s great to see you too, it’s been awhile since we’ve had you on, huh?” Both make faces indicating they were thinking about her last appearance on the show.
“I think it’s been almost…six years,” Y/n tapped her lips with a finger. “Pre-pandemic I believe—because I haven’t really done much since 2019.”
“Yeah, you took a bit of a break.”
“A much needed one,” she chuckled, “But it feels so great to be back. I’ve been taking this time to really put time into discovering who I am as a person and what is next for me. I’m so grateful for the fans who’ve supported me all this time—I know,” she looks to the camera, “I know I kept you waiting, but fear not, I am back and better than ever.” The statement ignites a holler and applause from the crowd.
Jimmy claps with the audience, “That’s what I’m talking about. What can you tell us about this new music you’ve been working on? I know I mentioned your upcoming one, but you actually announced you will be releasing another at the end of this year, correct?”
Instantly Y/n lights up, “That’s right, Jimmy. For starters Lover is probably my most personal album to date. During the pandemic I basically shut myself off from everyone—and the world because I deleted the social media apps off my phone,” there’s a light chuckle from the crowd, “which made everyone go crazy thinking I died. But I can assure you I was just trying to put all my time and energy into writing, producing, selecting which songs would go on the track list. Each song is there for a specific reason—telling a story per say, and I feel listeners will be able to relate in some way.”
“Why the name ‘Lover,’?” Jimmy asked with curiosity, “is it a metaphor for the story or does it have a deeper meaning?” Judging by the cheesy smile Y/n started to do, Jimmy straightened his posture. “Are you….?”
“It’s for the lovers, you know?” Y/n shrugged nonchalantly. Those around didn’t buy it, leaning forward in their seats with curious eyes. “Yeah it’s about love and those feelings where you think your heart is about to burst from your chest. Like I said, many will be able to relate to it.”
Jimmy gave a look, “So did someone in your life inspire it perhaps?”
Instead of answering right at that second, Y/n remained grinning as the face of inspiration and the owner of her heart appeared in her mind. His gorgeous hazel eyes glowing under the sunlight. The feeling of his warm body against hers each time he held her in his arms. Tickling sensations from his mustache when he rained kisses across her skin. The sound of his laugh whenever he made a joke or she did something silly just to see him smile. Fingers dancing across the piano while they sang their favorite songs in their own private concert.
Her lover. Her life. Her reason for waking up everyday in an endless state of bliss. The person who inspired nearly every song on the album, best describing it as a love letter to him.
Relationships and romance had been a complicated part of Y/n’s life and career. A reputation often frowned upon despite only seeing a small picture.
It all started one summer day in Nashville, Tennessee. 17-year-old Y/n had big dreams and aspirations of being a singer, spending her free time playing guitar and writing songs about teenage experiences. Growing up in Tennessee, the birthplace of country music, Y/n was surrounded by the legacy of icons like Dolly Parton, The Dixie Chicks, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Reba McEntire, and Kenny Rogers. It was all she listened to growing up, though she did dabble in pop and R&B—going on to cite Aaliyah, TLC, Whitney Houston, and David Bowie as influences in her music.
“I hear the high school is having a talent show Friday night,” her coworker hummed, handing over the now clean plate to be dried. “Did you sign up?”
“No,” Y/n tiredly exhaled. It was pushing 8 o’clock and she still had one more hour until closing. Working at a popular diner gave Y/n the ability to save for college and an apartment, but it meant working more hours than what she legally was supposed to—on top of balancing school and band. “I have a pre-cal test on monday so I planned to stay in and study.”
“Oh c’mon! You’ve been itching to sign up all year—why back out now? All for a test you know you’ll get an A on?”
Y/n rolled her eyes, taking another plate to dry, “That’s reaching and you know it.”
“Y/n, you’re one of the smartest people in our grade. Literally will be in the top five come graduation. It’s a Friday night and the whole school is gonna be there,” her friend pleads to her, “you’ve got a voice that’s meant to be heard and songs that should be on the radio.”
The teen gives a ‘I don’t think so,’ shrug, “Eh, I feel my style is not exactly what country music is looking for.”
“Maybe so…but maybe it’s what it needs.”
Guitar in hand and shaking like a leaf, Y/n pulled everything in her to drum her fingers on the strings. The spotlight shining down on her made her squint, unable to see into the crowd save for the silhouette of their heads.
“Just breathe, Y/n,” she mentally told herself. It was dead quiet in the auditorium after a light applause when the drama teacher called her name. And since she wasn’t using an electric guitar, there was no way to hook hers up to the speakers. “Breathe and let your voice do the work.”
Clearing her throat, her lips curled into a shy smile, “This is an original song I’ve been working on. Hope you like it.” Slowly the tune began to echo through the auditorium. Y/n’s voice was shaky at the beginning, but soon found confidence when she closed her eyes and pictured herself in the comfort of her own room.
“We were both young when I first saw you.”
“I close my eyes and the flashback starts, I’m standing’ there.”
“On a balcony in summer air.”
Those in the crowd perked up, schoolmates looking at each other with impressed gazes.
“See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.”
“See you make your way through the crowd, and say, “Hello.”
“Little did I know.”
Finally finding her rhythm, a genuine grin broke out on her face.
“That you were Romeo, you were throwin’ pebbles.”
“And my daddy said, “Stay away from Juliet—and I was cryin’ on the staircase,”
“Beggin’ you, “Please don’t go,” she let her voice drag out the ‘go’, igniting jaws to be dropped. “And I said.”
“Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run.”
“You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess.”
“It’s a love story, baby, just say, ‘Yes.’”
Needless to say, Y/n went home with the winning trophy….and a meeting with Capitol Records Nashville.
Going to college was no longer the plan for Y/n once her signature hit the contract. 3 albums and a promise to take country music by storm was the new future. Staring as soon as her tassel turned from right to left with the class of 2004. Y/n packed up her tiny Honda Civic with everything she had, kissed her family goodbye with plans to see them for the holidays and settled into a cozy studio apartment smack in the middle of Nashville.
“You have a unique voice and lyrical direction, Y/n,” Randy Kingston, one of the execs at CRN said to her one day. “You’re not full country—by that I mean there’s a pop element you bring to the table. Country-Pop if you will.”
Y/n didn’t know how to respond except nod, “Uhhh yeah? I listen to a lot of different genres—-Pop being a big one. A-and I like to experiment by adding different….flavors to my music.” Her expression turns nervous, “is that gonna be a problem, sir?”
Randy rubbed the bottom of his chin with a hand, “No, I don’t think it will. It’s refreshing and something new. Frankly I think you’re gonna do well with the youngin’s. Your age range will likely be the best receivers.”
Turns out Randy was right. Releasing her first two singles were met with wide recognition from teenagers and young adults. Topping the country music charts for several weeks. During that time Y/n began working on her debut self-titled album on top of filming her first music video for ‘Love Story’. When it dropped, it didn’t just get noticed within the country scene. MTV released it during their early morning showings most people played when getting ready for school and work. Doing so allowed ‘Love Story’ to get more attention that people who were not even country fans were purchasing the single.
“Platinum?!” Y/n screamed at the sight of the framed record indicating ‘Love Story’ sold one million copies.
“Platinum,” Randy grinned, presenting it to her. “Well done, kiddo. You deserve it.” He also dropped the ball that Ellen Degeneres called to schedule an appearance—which nearly had Y/n drop the frame in her hands.
The Ellen Degeneres Show was the first public interview Y/n had ever done. And….it was the first time she was questioned about her love life. Something that would become her greatest nemesis throughout her entire career.
“So your song ‘Love Story’ is all about love, yes?” Ellen asked, igniting a laugh from the audience given the title of the song made it obvious what it was about.
“Yes.”
“So does that mean you got some love going on for yourself? Anyone who inspired this for you?”
“U-Uh, no?” It came out more like a question, causing the audience to laugh while she nervously smiled. “Not really—I-I’m not dating anyone currently, but the song sorta came from my love for romance novels and movies. Everyone desires love,” she nods to herself, “and I wanted to write something that people could relate to. Plus I love Romeo and Juliet—which is the big inspiration for the song.”
Following the appearance on Ellen, Y/n focused on writing music and releasing her albums. Her unique sound of combining country with elements of pop and R&B had listeners from all over the world drawn to her. It was a new era of country music.
But not everyone was very accepting of it.
Older generations and die hard lovers of traditional country were very unwelcoming to Y/n. They felt she didn’t belong in the genre and was better suited for pop. Though Y/n agreed to some extent, she feared making the transition from country to full pop wouldn’t be wise. She was still roughly new to the industry, trusting the judgment of her label who she was contracted to do 3 albums for. So she continued to fulfill her duty until the right moment came.
By the end of the first decade in the 21st century, Y/n had established herself one of the leading artists in country music with four Grammys, six MTV Moonmen, four AMA’s, five Billboard awards and 12 CMA’s. She appeared twice on SNL, performed at Dick Clark’s New Year Rockin’ Eve, and even collaborated with Miranda Lambert.
Yet the media liked to only talk about Y/n’s dating history.
In the first year of her career, Y/n briefly dated Jesse McCartney after first meeting at the 2005 Kids Choice Awards. Shortly after their breakup she was seen with Harry Potter actor Tom Felton, but nothing came out of it. The ‘date’ the media thought had actually been a handout between several of their mutual friends where they happened to be pictured smiling and laughing. After that incident Y/n did get into a five month long relationship with Leonardo DiCaprio, who was twelve years older than her and sparked endless conversation in the media.
Then in 2007-2009 Y/n became involved with Eddie Redmayne following their introduction to each other at Ellen Degeneres’ birthday party. They remained friends afterwards, but their relationship inspired a lot of Y/n’s work which resulted in people criticizing her for making too many break up songs.
“You’ve had quite the track record when it comes to the romance scene, Y/n,” David Letterman voiced during her appearance on his show. The singer was overcome with immediate dread. Again was she subjected to questions about her love life when it was no one’s business. But of course, if there’s one thing men like David have, it’s the audacity. “Which brings me to my next questions: are you dating anyone? And are they gonna have a song about them once you two break up?”
Now unfortunately it was common knowledge late night show hosts were disrespectful towards their guests and didn’t know what boundaries were. Though this was known, however, there was still the underlying pressure to keep silent by smiling and pushing through. Sometimes playing it off like it doesn’t affect you was better than having an outburst and being criticized more by the media. Displaying any offense would label them emotional and sensitive.
Though she wanted nothing more than to walk off the set and cry in her dressing room, Y/n swallowed the lump in her throat and answered as calmly as she could muster. “I’m not seeing anyone at the moment. I just want to focus on my music and what comes from my heart is what I put out.”
When Y/n did get into a relationship or was seen on a friendly date—hell even being spotted when out with a male friend for lunch had paparazzi and tabloids bombarding her.
“Is love in the air….again? Country music’s it girl, 24-year-old Y/n L/n, was seen holding hands with Australian actor Xavier Samuel who’s playing Riley Biers in the upcoming third installment of The Twilight Saga. Just this past March Y/n was linked to the son of Tennessee’s Attorney General. Let’s not forget L/n was in a two year romance with Eddie Redmayne before calling it quits last fall. Fans are starting to notice a pattern when it comes to L/n’s relationships and album releases. Should we expect her new single to drop within the next year? And will this romance with Samuel blossom into something long term or end as a spur of the moment flame?”
Notice how all the attention is Y/n and her life? Never once were the men she dated ever asked questions like she was—even if they had a history rivaling hers. Take Leo for example. The women he dated only got younger than Y/n as the years went on and people barely bat an eye.
After the release of her third studio album with CRN, Y/n had a tough decision to make. By that point her last album had more pop than country. The reaction of the fans was pretty much, “You need to just label yourself a pop artist now.” “‘Red’ was literally 90% Pop with 10% Country.” “Stop saying you’re a country music star when the last album you put out was anything but country.”
So…it was safe to say it was time to make the move to a different genre. Thankfully Capitol Records in Los Angeles was ready with the pen in hand to sign Y/n on. There she had creative control on what she put out and Y/n was excited to get started on a new era in her life.
2012 would go down as the year where Y/n was on the edge of her seat with how her career would go. Fans were mixed about her going to pop despite her recent music having mostly pop elements. Then there was the fact she was dating Tyler Hoechlin from Teen Wolf which had fangirls hating her guts for dating their celebrity crush.
What’s sad is Y/n was used to that reception whenever she was in a relationship with a public figure. First Jesse then Tom, Leo, Eddie, and Xavier. Can’t forget the times she got caught on dates with Robert Pattinson, Micheal B. Jordan, and Chris Evans. Then there were the incidents where the paparazzi captured her making out with Sebastian Stan at an after party and leaving the 2011 Grammys with Nate Buzoliac before he made it big as Kol Mikaelson in The Vampire Diaries.
Getting a break was not in the cards for the singer.
When things ended with Tyler in 2015, Y/n told herself she would not date anyone for awhile. Her album ‘1986’ was met with critical acclaim and positive reception from fans, earning her more awards to her growing collection, including the Grammy for Album of the Year. The entire time on tour she focused on having fun and not worrying about what people thought of her. Yeah she still got questions from interviews and hosts about dating she’d simply reply with, “I’m single, and let’s not entertain that further. Next question.”
@ inmyreputationera: I guess @Y/nL/n86 decided romance isn’t exactly her thing. I wonder how that’ll change her music.
@ stanningselenerr: not me checking @ Y/ndatingupdates daily for any new info.
Those were just the handful of tweets Y/n saw everyday on her Twitter feed. It got to the point she’d have to mute notifications whenever she was tagged. While she hated doing so because she loved interacting with fans, the singer needed time away from the constant surveillance of her personal life.
So fast forward to mid-summer of 2018. Y/n hadn’t put out an album in nearly three years nor had she been dating anyone. Yeah people still asked her from time to time though she learned to not let it affect her. Honestly it was a breath of fresh air. She was happy, healthy, and living her best life. Putting her heart and soul into songwriting which was heavily inspired by the reputation she’d garnered since her debut. Not to mention developing closer bonds with her friends and family after making the impulse decision in 2017 to move back to Tennessee. It felt good to be back home. Returning to her roots and the place that started it all after being away for so many years. It was a great time.
Now she was due back to Los Angeles to meet with her manager and producers. Y/n was ready to get back into the studio as much as her fans were telling her they were waiting for new music. With a first-class ticket in hand, Y/n boarded her red-eye flight from Nashville International to LAX and settled in for the five hour flight. It would have them landing at just after 3am Pacific time and while Y/n wanted to rest, she could not for the life of her sleep on a plane.
Approaching her seat Y/n noticed a man in a military uniform seated in the seat beside hers. “Excuse me,” she caught his attention, his head raising where he put two and two together by her hand pointing to the window seat.
“Oh sorry, ma’am,” it took everything in Y/n not to stare at him when he got up. He was very handsome. In his uniform, hazel eyes and sun kissed skin. The most notable feature was his mustache that most men could not pull off yet he seemed to.
“Do you need help with that?” The question pulled her from her mini daydream. He was referring to the carryon bag in her hand.
“Oh I got it—.”
“It’s no problem,” he was already taking the bag from her, securing it in the overhead compartment.
“Thank you so much,” Y/n thanked him while moving into the row, placing her purse in her lap when she sat down. The man returned to his seat just as the next wave of passengers boarded.
Manny, her personal bodyguard who’d been with Y/n since her first tour, was seated in front of her. When they got the tickets he purposely told her to have them separated saying, “I need my beauty sleep and while I love you, you will talk the entire time.” Sure enough when Y/n leaned over to ask him a question Manny was already knocked out, buckled in with his eye mask over his eyes and earbuds in.
Well that left Y/n with little to do. And when she went to retrieve her Kindle she groaned at the realization she forgot to turn back her reading light.
“Everything okay?” She saw the man in her peripheral vision slightly turn his head.
“Yeah just…annoyed with myself. I thought I packed my reading light but I must’ve misplaced it.” God that made her sound like a grandma.
His response was an ‘ah’ sound. “Wish I could help ya there, but I’m not usually equipped with something like that.”
“It’s fine,” she chuckled, buckling in her seatbelt. “It was to pass the time—I can’t sleep on flights. Even though it's midnight and I should feel tired.”
“I’m the same,” he suddenly extended a hand, “I’m Bradley by the way.”
Hesitant to reply in case he were to react to her name, Y/n pushed back any concern and gave a warm smile as she took his hand, “I’m Y/n. Nice to meet you, Bradley.”
“Y/n…” her name was repeated slowly, Bradley’s eyes consorting as though they were deep in thought. A wave of dread and nerves coursed through her. Then Bradley grinned, “Oh! I thought you looked familiar. You sing that song—what was it, ‘Love Story?’ Sorry I don’t mean to sound weird,” he let go of her hand when he realized he was still shaking it. “And I don’t want to bother you. I just can’t help but go, ‘wow!’”
“No-no-no, it’s okay! You’re totally fine.” Before long the two fell into conversation following the typical pre-flight announcements. Y/n was amazed by how natural it felt talking to Bradley. She discovered he was a Naval aviator, coming home from an assignment overseas and was flying to L.A to visit some friends. Bradley had been a graduate of UVA and attended the elite Fighter Weapons School, marking ten years with the navy that year.
“Forgive me for admitting this,” he said after the first hour into the flight, lowering his voice when a passenger trying to sleep glared at them. “But while I know who you are…I’m not really familiar with your work. Y-yeah I mentioned your one song but that’s literally all I know,” he laughed nervously. “My taste in music, I’m embarrassed to say aloud, is very limited.”
Y/n tilts her head, “how limited?”
“Uh, I pretty much only listen to the 1950s all the way to the 80s. Dabbling in what’s popular nowadays once in a blue moon. My karaoke songs are all Jerry Lewis” Bradley gives a gentle smile, “And while I can easily do a Google search, I’d much rather hear it from you if you don’t mind telling me.”
What’s that saying again? Oh that’s right, ‘And the rest was history.’
No but literally Y/n could barely contain her attraction to Bradley after he said that to her. She hoped to God she didn’t look like a fool as she spoke of her career and cool places she’s been. Time flew as they talked. In fact the two were so caught up in their conversation they talked the remainder of the journey to L.A, ending with the exchange of phone numbers and the promise to meet up.
It was decided right from the get go that Bradley and Y/n wanted to keep their relationship hidden. Regardless if the one date went somewhere, the last thing Y/n wanted was to have Bradley in the public eye and cause complications with his job. And let’s not forget her album was releasing within the next year. So, there was going to be a lot of attention on her wherever she went.
“The fact we’ve managed to keep this quiet for a year is outstanding,” Y/n said through a mouthful of cake. Bradley had surprised her with her favorite kind, the icing on the top reading, ‘Happy Anniversary, baby—we’ve got them fooled.’
She couldn’t believe they were already marking one year. Time didn’t seem to exist when she was with Bradley. He was everything she envisioned in a partner. Caring, compassionate, funny, intuitive. Listened to her concerns and communicated. Never made her doubt herself or paid attention to the media.
When she brought up her reputation, or better yet the one the press painted her out to have, Bradley stopped her and said, “who you have history with is not my business—unless they did something to hurt you because then I’ll have a problem with them. And those people talking nonsense about you have nothing else better to do with themselves. I care about you, Y/n. The only one who has influence on how I see you, is you. And I see you as the most beautiful, hardworking, intelligent person who knows her worth. Fuck what they say.”
Yeah that night ended with her jumping his bones.
Bradley took a fork full of his own into his mouth, “I for sure thought they were gonna catch us the night I snuck you on base.” After their first meeting in L.A, Bradley had returned to Virginia while Y/n remained to work on her album. It was a couple months before she went home to Tennessee, then for the holidays they planned to meet up when Y/n was on her way to New York. Sneaking her on base involved the two going undercover where they met at a discreet location and having Y/n shove herself under blankets in his backseat.
The singer laughed at the memory, “Thank Goodness for Shania. Had she not posted that photo to ‘tip off’ the paps then we’d have a whole different outcome.” Bradley laughed with her, placing his fork down on the napkin.
“I’m sorry I can’t be there for your release day,” Bradley had been called back to Top Gun for a special detachment by the Navy. Unfortunately the timing was right when her sixth studio album would drop. The details were still unclear, but that it was a team mission where he would compete against his colleagues. Y/n had yet to meet any of Bradley’s friends and vice versa. The only people in her circle who knew of their relationship were her manager, Manny, and family. But when you signed up to keep your love life private, it meant friends were lost in the dark.
“It’s okay, Roo,” she told him. “We’ll have our own celebration.” Another cake, this time with the design being the album’s cover art on it, was brought over the day before Bradley was set to fly to San Diego and the two had their private release party with just the two of them. The music was blasting through the speakers, Y/n jumping up and down with Bradley who was singing at the top of his lungs.
“Band-aids don’t fix bullet holes! You say sorry just for show! If you live like that, you live with ghosts!”
“I’m in a getaway car. I left you in a motel bar. Put the money in a bag and I stole the key—that was the last time you ever saw me—Oh!”
“Ooh, look what you made me do! Look what you made me do! Look what you just made me do!”
Champagne was popped, kisses were shared, and they danced the entire night until it came time to sleep.
They FaceTimed whenever Bradley had free time, even if it was in the later hours of the night. Those three weeks Y/n felt her heart long for Bradley in a way it had never done with her previous partners. She felt his excitement, his distress. The day he left for the mission Y/n paced around her home for hours—unable to focus on anything and overcome with nausea. It was as though her mind was trying to tell her something was wrong.
Relief came at around nightfall, the singer tripping as she raced to grab her phone when it rang. Seeing Bradley’s picture pop up had the breath she was holding in release. “Oh thanks God,” was the first thing she said.
“I’m coming back to you,” was his response. Tears pricked in the corner of her eyes, hand going to her chest to calm the rapid beat of her heart.
“I would expect nothing less, Lieutenant Bradshaw.”
Several celebrations were in store for the couple when Bradley returned to the east coast. Not only did he receive a medal from the Navy for his brave actions but got a promotion. Y/n’s album hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 in the first hour of its release, prompting a record number of sales in a single night for the singer.
“I’m so proud of you, Bradley,” she praised, patting the new patch on his uniform indicating he was now a Lieutenant Commander. She was met with a sweet kiss on the lips.
“Thank you, baby. I’m proud of you too—you’re gonna win everything come awards season.”
During the 2020 Grammy’s, Bradley leaped from the couch in absolute joy when Y/n’s name was called for the winner of Pop Album of the Year and Record of The Year. She missed out on Album of the Year, but that was okay. She was now the owner of 12 Grammys in total. Coming home the following night Y/n’s home was decorated with balloons, a banner reading, ‘Congratulations!!’ and of course, a cake with an edible Grammy topper.
And so it came time for a break. Six albums in a fifteen-year long career, Y/n kept it under the wraps that she wouldn’t be putting out another album for some time. Fans had started to notice she was more uplifted and vibrant in interviews, posting things on social media that were suspicious. For example she uploaded a photo of red roses, captioning it “the symbol of love.” Then there was the screenshotting of well known love songs and posting them on her story.
@ Y/nstansince04: is it me or does @Y/nL/n86 appear happier than usual? Is she hiding something?
@ getawaycarlover_: @Y/nL/n86 totally has a man or someone in her life. That recent Instagram post had all the hints.
@ fearlessdefender: I bet it’s a normal guy she’s with and not a celebrity. If it was we’d probably would’ve known by now who it was.
@ Y/ns_red_lipstick: honestly if Y/n does have a boyfriend then I’m happy for her and wish them the best. She deserves to be happy and we should respect their privacy. She doesn’t have to share with the world if it’s their desire to keep it secret.
Right when the world went to chaos at the brink of a global pandemic, Y/n thought, “you know what, I’m gonna just delete my social media—not my accounts but the apps on my phone. I want to go off the grid for a bit and just enjoy my family and boyfriend.” Not having the constant shadow of social media on her back made it easier for the singer on the break she desired.
Everyday she fell more in love with Bradley. She had been visiting him when quarantine happened so they basically went to the next step in their relationship by living together. Again, it all felt natural. They settled into a domestic life with each other early on with homemade dinners, movie nights, nerf gun wars, and karaoke contests. Bradley on the piano and Y/n with her guitar, being each other’s act and audience in their private concert.
“You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain. Too much love drives a man insane. You broke my will, but what a thrill. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!”
“Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone. I’ll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run. You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess. It’s a love story, baby just say, ‘Yes!’”
Late nights were reserved for drives with the speakers blasting. Y/n camera roll would be filled with endless videos of the two, but mostly of Bradley jamming to his favorite songs. More often than usual the thought of, “I’m gonna marry this man,” would cross her mind.
“You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog. Cryin’ all the time. You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog. Cryin’ all the time. Well, you ain’t never caught a rabbit and you ain’t no friend of mine!”
Y/n would lean her body out the window when it was a clear road where they were the only ones, hair blowing and the light from the moon shining down on her. Her beautiful voice carried in the night sky, Bradley in absolute awe of her and wanting to capture the moment forever.
“I came home in the mornin’ light—my mother says, ‘when you gonna live your life right?’ Oh momma dear, we’re not the fortunate ones. And girls, they wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have fun!”
But was supposed to be maybe two years at most…..ended up being close to five.
Honestly Y/n was surprised to still have fans. To say they were shitting bricks when she out of the blue dropped a cover art for her upcoming single, ‘Love’ would be an understatement. They were losing their fucking minds.
@ Y/nwhereforartthou: IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING OH MY FUCKING SHIT! PLEASE TELL ME THIS AINT A JOKE Y/N IS COMING BACK AFTER FIVE FUCKING YEARS
@ stilladirectionerbby: *insert Micheal Scott gif* OH MY GOD IT’S HAPPENING—Y/N’S RELEASING NEW MUSIC
@ MTV: when all hope was lost, our prayers were answered….by @Y/nL/n86
Then she announced in the same week they were getting not one but two albums that year.
@ themadalorianswife: TWO ALBUMS?!?! WE GETTING TWO?!?! GOD FUCKING BLESS
@ daddyisastateofmind: oh mother is spoiling us after making us wait so long and I absolutely am here for it.
@ neveroutofstyle_: love how @Y/nL/n86 basically said “this is my sorry for falling off the face of the earth, please forgive me.” On behalf of the fandom, we forgive you queen.
And wanna know something else?
What was even more impressive than becoming a ghost for five years with little to no sightings by the paparazzi, was that she and Bradley had yet to be discovered. Her lover was just as good of a ghost as she was. Their secret was like trying to find the Holy Grail.
Hidden like a treasure the world desired to unearth.
And on their six year anniversary, Bradley got them the same cake as the first time he did. The icing reading, "Happy 7 years, baby—we’ve totally got them fooled.”
…………….
TGM Tag list: @avaleineandafryingpan , @caitsymichelle13 , @poppyalice2001 , @cutelittlepotatofry , @luckyladycreator2 , @americaarse , @elenavampire21 , @back-tooo-black , @wildellaa , @artemissunn , @pinkpantheris
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xamiipholia · 3 months
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okay y'all seemed to like the last one so here's a few more Horizon 3 thoughts:
Aloy won’t die. It would completely upend the series’ themes and just be really nihilistic.
Since Nemesis is a gestalt entity I think it’s a safe bet that we’ll see Sam Witwer, Carrie-Anne Moss, etc again. I’m curious how they’re going to do it because at least structurally, it’s basically a reaper. Maybe it’ll use different Avatars when communicating like the Leviathan in ME3. 
It's gonna take some work to make a flashback/dream/vision not contrived but I would love to see Varl and Rost again. I think we deserve that.
Minerva is gonna have its work cut out for it blocking access to both the dormant Faro Swarm and the ZD terraforming system. 
I wouldn’t be surprised if Nemesis has some sort of corruption function that becomes the equivalent of the corruption in HZD. It would be a really fun tech showcase if GG uses Zenith nanotech for machine corruption and leans into mechanical body horror.
If we’re going to Ban-Ur I really really hope they do the work to make the Banuk less problematic and more fleshed out as a culture. A quasi-Spartan society absolutely would not survive in an extreme environment, *especially* without megafauna to hunt. The Banuk characters are lovely and well-written; they deserve a society as well thought out as the Utaru or Carja. I’m honestly fine if there’s retcons or revamps to the cultural lore because the whole “outsider barges in and becomes chief” is rooted in racist, colonial tropes and we just don’t really need that imo.
The most recent footage of Death Stranding 2 (also running on Decima) has me SO excited for the visuals. GG’s gonna knock it out. The facial rendering and animation that Kojima Productions are doing looks industry-peak and I’m sure GG’s gonna match that. Aloy’s Gay Panic™️ scene on the beach in HBS is already top-tier nonverbal storytelling through animation. Digital Foundry actually just posted a really cool tech breakdown of the current Decima engine. I’m especially excited about the environmental stuff. The ocean simulations in HFW are already incredible and I hope they increase verticality in the world. I can’t wait to see the Sacred Lands in current gen graphics. 
I really love Kotallo’s DIY arm and it’s so so important to his development but Beta and Gaia now have access to Zenith nanotech, maybe give your buddy a sick upgrade hmm?
Speaking of, I can’t wait to see Beta come into her own. She’s one of the best parts of HFW and Aloy’s character absolutely shines in a sibling dynamic. 
I wouldn’t get your hopes up for a romance mechanic. Everyone’s feelings on that aside, it would be really odd from a game development perspective to just overhaul part of how the narrative develops Aloy’s character in the last act of the story. Yeah, there are flashpoints but I would argue that the presence of choice in Horizon is smoke and mirrors- cosmetic at best. Kentucky Route Zero (which you should play) does something similar where the player is given a certain amount of control over the substance of individual conversations and scenarios and it does absolutely nothing to alter the plot, by design. I think it’s the same here - this isn’t really a choice-based RPG, the flashpoints don’t really affect anything plot-wise or for Aloy’s character development. Olin is still out of the story, Nil lives, Regalla still dies one way or another. Aloy’s character development is pretty firmly on rails (think Jin Sakai, not Shepard - you get to guide some momentary character reactions but that’s it). I don’t think HBS is a testing ground either - If they were gonna introduce a romance mechanic I think they’d just do it, and not spend two years making a direct continuation of HFW’s main quest and establishing a specific romance hard-baked into the plot, complete with multiple leitmotifs for the character relationship (which is something they haven’t done before afaik) just to introduce a side quest mechanic coming in 5 years. I genuinely can’t think of any game or dev that has beta tested a major alteration to upcoming game mechanics that way - it doesn’t really make any sense in terms of developer resources, and these games are extremely time-consuming to make. I know this is a thing a bunch of people want and I can totally empathize with that! I just think it’s probably not on the table. 
I would bet money the series will bookend itself and the epilogue will involve a) the naming of Zo and Varl’s kid and b) Lis’ pendant. 
Mostly I'm just looking forward to being surprised. One of my favorite things that Horizon does is use carefully established elements in the world to pull the plot in unexpected directions and keeping the world grounded while they lean into speculative science fiction. I can't wait to see what Guerrilla is cooking up
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taeraeszn · 8 months
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im BEGGINGGGG for some domestic fluff with matthew. i feel there hasn’t been enough authors on here appreciating him on here!! 💗💗
true love - seok matthew
characters: matthew x gn!reader
description: you and matthew spend a day off together in your apartment
genre: pure fluff with the smallest hint of suggestiveness lol
word count: 981 words
warnings: food and hint of suggestiveness (kissing/making out) but lmk if there's more :) maybe some word errors sorry!!
a/n: hi anon ty for requesting <3 i honestly agree bc i barely see matthew posts on there and he deserves way more!!
this is probably the most suggestive thing i've ever written (ik im breaking my own rules) so expect more woohyun than matthew
also this is written with the idea that you and matthew have been together for a long time and finally live together! so enjoy bc i'm hella delulu for him LMAO
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"love?" you faintly heard matthew say. you groaned as you woke up from your sleep. just as your eyes slightly opened, they shut right away as the sun rays hit them.
"hmm?" you mumbled, trying to go back to dreamland. he softly shook you while also wrapping his arms around your body.
"it's almost ten and we haven't gotten out of bed yet." he informed you. wait ten? you rose up from your comfortable position to see your boyfriend matthew laying next to you with a bright smile on his face.
he ran his hand through your hair, "wait it's ten already?" you asked. from looking outside your wide window, you already noticed people walking down the street as well as cars zooming by. but neither of you had work today so this was simply a day to relax.
"yup and we need to get up. i let you sleep for longer today but it's already going to be ten o'clock. plus, i want to eat your pancakes."
you playfully rolled your eyes at the last part of his sentence, "fine."
matthew giggled, "and good morning to you too."
"but you make them better." he grinned then somehow got even closer to you than he was just a second ago.
with that he pressed his lips against yours. you rested your hand on his chest as he put his on your cheek. his chaste kisses melted you as you kissed back.
he continued as he ran his hands around your body along with you running yours on his abs (who else died). matthew turned his head to the left to change his position.
you moved your hands to wrap around his shoulders but as just things were about to get heated he pulled away but not without kissing you once more.
"i love you." he stated, pressing his forehead against yours. you chuckled then kissed his nose.
"i love you too."
you finally got out of bed and went to prep yourself in the morning by washing your face and brushing your teeth, as well as doing some basic skincare to get your skin glowing.
"love?" you heard behind you, turning around you saw matthew right behind you. "i'm going to shower now."
"okay i'll make the pancakes." you grinned only for matthew to pout.
"that wasn't the answer i was hoping for." but nonetheless, he hopped into the shower which left you then alone in the kitchen.
the pancake mix began to sizzle on the pan as you poured the liquid onto it. mornings like this were always the best.
matthew was the one who asked if you wanted to live together and you obviously said yes to it. a year had already passed since you two began living together and it's safe to say that you've been more happier than ever being able to wake up next to the love of your life.
but you two had been dating for what felt like a decade. you met in university and it was love at first sight. matthew was persistent on getting your number and always found a way to get you to talk with him, and luckily it worked!
since then you haven't looked back which led you to where you are now. matthew moved out of the zerobaseone dorm to live with you which had the members jokingly ridiculing him for being in love. but they were also close with you as you visited the dorms plenty of times before.
midst in your train of thoughts, you felt a pair of hands from behind wrap themselves around you.
"that smells amazing." he said.
"you always say that." you replied, matthew went to open the curtains in the living room giving more light for the apartment.
"because it's true." he popped himself down on the couch to turn on the tv and play the k-drama you two recently left on.
with the pancakes finally done, you plated them and poured syrup on them along with a few blueberries sitting at the top. though you preferred sitting at the dining table, you followed your boyfriend and went to go sit on the couch with him.
you handed him his plate to which he smiled and kissed you on the forehead, "thank you love."
your cheeks began heating up as you managed to reply, "your welcome."
each time you heard him say 'love', you felt yourself turn numb. that word definitely had an effect on you and matthew knew it since he keeps using it to get a reaction from you.
as you dug into the food, you sat there while cuddling each other, tuning into the drama playing. so far there wasn't much tension between the two actors but he insisted this was a good drama since taerae recommended it to him.
"so any plans for today?" you asked. he shrugged but moved his head to rest on your shoulder.
"hmm, i'm thinking of going on a walk, if you want."
"that sounds good." you nodded.
"but most of all i just want to spend time with you today. y'know we finally got a day off like you had been wanting."
he wasn't wrong, you were waiting for a day where matthew can just rest at home and spend time with you. it was rare that he got days like this since he was almost always stuck at the wakeone building.
"and i'm glad."
"me too love."
thereafter, you sat in the peaceful silence watching tv. even though he would return to his busy idol life tomorrow, you wanted time to stop and to sit with matthew all day.
you didn't take being with matthew for granted and were so thankful you agreed to living with him. nothing is better than this. maybe soon you could spend the rest of your life with him but the present was already perfect.
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dwampyverseawards · 2 months
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FINALE: PFTONES VS WHEN GLASS SHATTERS
CONGRATULATIONS TO @pftones3482 FOR WINNING THE WRITERS SIDE OF THE FOR FUN TOURNEY, AND TO @local-dragon-haunt FOR WINNING THE INDIVIDUAL FIC/SERIES SIDE OF THINGS! THIS LAST ROUND IS BASICALLY JUST EVEN MORE FOR THE FUNSIES.
@/pftones3482
Relevant reason for being submitted:
not sure if it has influence on the fandom overall but it had an influence on me and I live by that
They create top-tier Phineas and Ferb content, from fics to thoughtful analysis of characters and episodes. The following link is a great showcase of just a portion of their current Phineas and Ferb fics;
Propaganda: Just their entire catalogue of Phineas and Ferb works on Archive of Our Own. This is my favourite fic of theirs;
And here are some of my favourite posts;
Vote for @/pftones3482!
Have you ever heard of the Secret Life of Candace? Aka best mermaid au ever? GUESS WHO WROTE IT?
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I have been in the Phineas and Ferb fandom for over a decade - writing fics for it for 12 years, can y'all believe that? I'm one of the oldest "original" fandom members left on AO3, which is actually insane.
And to this day the things I love about the show have shifted a little - favorite characters, favorite tropes, ships, etc. Nothing drastic, but anyone who's been following me since the beginning has definitely seen those changes.
But the thing I have always loved most about this fandom IS the fandom. The PnF fandom is one of the most wholesome fandoms I've ever been in, and it's the reason it's one of the only fandoms I still interact with. Sure, there's been drama, and sometimes we don't all agree - no fandom will ever always agree on everything (if they do....run)
Overall tho this fandom is so kind and wonderful, and given how small we are, we are still obnoxiously loud about this show 😂 I love us for that
Regardless if I win or lose (and if I lose, I'm honored to go down to someone like @/inators, who is a very kind person and has a big presence in the fandom), I wanted to say thank y'all for getting me this far
Phineas and Ferb got me on Tumblr and started my writing career. The fandom is what helped me stay. If I could give y'all an award for "Best Fandom," I absolutely would 🧡💚
When Glass Shatters, written by @/local-dragon-haunt
Relevant reason for being submitted:
Propaganda: local_dragon has a fantastic way with words and unconventional story telling. AUs where Perry is revealed to the kids are frequent, but ones where he interacts with Linda and Lawrence too are few and far between and the concept has so much potential. I just love their writing
Vote for my bestie @/local-dragon-haunt they deserve it and they won't admit it
Contestants may add their own propaganda however they see fit, provided it does not put down the person they are against. All round 1 matches were randomly generated, and anyone may drop out at any time.
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jinna-aka-ninja · 11 months
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Calling of the Souls ~ Poly!LostBoys x Fem!Reader Part 3
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AN: So this one is a little longer than the last two- I apologize. I know I just posted an update not long ago but I really couldn’t get this out of my head. Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6
Word Count: 2,313
Michael. Michael. Michael.
Y/N rewrote the name over and over again in a leather bound journal like some lovesick teenager.  Each time she did though, she scratched over it unhappily.
 It was embarrassing and yet she couldn’t help herself. Why did it feel like she was butchering his name with her handwriting? Since when did her handwriting look so terrible to her own eyes?
 Y/N was proud of her penmanship, except in this case. It was such a shame to see his name in such a terrible state.
 Y/N sighed as she set down the journal, glancing over to Tyr’s room. He was still in a deep sleep. From the moment he closed his eyes when they arrived, he had not awoken. This would have caused worry to spread through her had she really not expected it to happen. He was exhausted after using so much of his power.
 So far, she had not kept her promise to those four vampires. It had only been 2 other nights. In her defense though, she had spent those nights sleeping or checking in on Tyr. Still, she hadn’t fulfilled her promise….
 They were getting irritated.
 She promised.
 Little did she know those four boys had absolutely no patience at all.
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   The very next day night they were on a hunt. Not the typical hunt that led in a bloody massacre, though they did do just that when they found a small group of young adults. It was convenient and they were hungry.
 David felt on edge but none more so than Paul who seemed to scan the crowds, gazing at every face in an attempt to find Y/N.
 Marko was worried. There were so many supernatural creatures that lived in Santa Carla, but the Oceanside, the shore, the boardwalk; this was their territory. Even so, what if Y/N lived off of their territory? What if a werewolf ripped out her heart for a meal? “We should have made specified plans!” Marko hissed.
 Dwayne sighed, he would have gone back to do that if he could, but it was too late. “She was uncomfortable. Chances are she would have found an excuse to not make them.”
 “Since when has someone being uncomfortable stopped us?” Paul scoffed. They had basically made it their favorite game in making people feel uncomfortable and on edge.
 “She is not a game.” David retorted. The other night when Dwayne asked her to promise, Marko and Paul wanted to protest. They had almost spoken up when David stopped them. She could not be scared away.
 He didn’t want to scare her, it felt wrong to make her feel like she was worried about her own safety. Their mate deserved to be happy, and it was their job to make sure that she felt safe with them.
 “What if she has a day job?” Dwayne brought up as the thought seeped into his mind. “Then she would have to sleep at night.” At least this had kept their minds from jumping to any conclusions that she had up and left the city.
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  Y/N decided that tonight she would go out! She wanted to enjoy the night. As long as she stayed away from the boardwalk then she should be fine right? She hoped so.
 Making her way through the city she saw all sorts of interesting things. It was such a strange place with a variety of types of people, but it was nice. Window shopping was getting boring though. Her eyes dull as she looked at the items they had at display.
 “Hey! Y/N!” a voice called out from across the street, causing Y/N to turn her head. Her eyes seeming to light up as she spotted the curly haired brunette. Michael.
 Lifting her hand up, she waved at him. Smiling as he watched the cars pass until finally he could run across the street and up to her.
 “Nice jacket.” Y/N complimented. This seemed to be the right words to say.
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 Michael lifted his arms to show off his new leather jacket. “Yeah I always wanted one, been working a few odd jobs until I could get my hands on one.” He admitted to her.
 “It suits you. So what brings you out and about? Headed to one of your odd jobs?” Y/N asked him hoping he had the night off.
 “Not tonight, I finally got my jacket so I can just have the two nights a week working so I can get gas money and some spending money.” Michael stated proudly. “I was hoping to run into you again… do you have any plans for the night? We can hang out. I’m new to town still but I’m sure we can find something to do. Have you been to the boardwalk?”
 “I would love to hang out with you… I went there once. The night we met.” Y/N said to him seeing how much he seemed to smile all the more brightly when she had agreed. She had been planning to avoid the place but if he was going to be at the boardwalk with her then maybe things would be okay.
 Michael held out his hand for her to take. “I can give you a ride on my bike?” He said but it still came out as more of a question. Y/N wasted no time in taking his hand. He still had that pull that drove her closer to him. Finally she got to meet her soulmate, she wasn’t going to let him go easily.
 The ride was thrilling. Y/N had never been on a bike before, but she was excited to have her arms wrapped around Michael, holding onto him tightly to not fall.  
 The sound of the music could be heard before they even got to the boardwalk. Michael helping her off before he got off and locking his bike to make sure it wouldn’t get stolen. This was no crime free city.
 Michael took a hold of Y/N’s hand and insisted that they go to the rides but on the way there a little booth of someone giving piercings caught Michael’s attention.
 “You want a piercing?” Y/N asked him not entirely sure why he would.
 “Don’t you think it would look cool?” Michael asked her but still glanced down at the earrings he could choose from.
 “It’s a rip off.” A feminine voice came up from behind them. Y/N turned to see a girl with curled brown hair leaning over to speak into Michael’s ear clearly trying to catch his attention. Y/N heard because of how close they had been. The girl just walked away after she said it.
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 Y/N thought that since she was walking away, she and Michael would just continue on their way but feeling the warm hand slip from her own grip as Michael followed after Star had Y/N’s heart aching. Was she being ditched by her own soulmate?
 She could hear Michael say hi to her and the girl say something back to him as they walked but Y/N didn’t walk after them. She really was just ditched. They had gotten a bit away from them when Y/N looked down at her hand that had just been holding Michael’s. Was it possible that he didn’t feel the bond like she had? If he hadn’t then why would he have spoken to her again?
 Her hand didn’t stay empty for long though. A fingerless gloved hand took a hold of it making her look up in confusion. There stood Marko, giving her a closed lipped smile that looked just a notch below a grin.
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 “Your hand looked awfully lonely!” he said to her, “You owe us a promise, since that asshole left, why not hang with us?” He asked.
 Y/N wanted to say no, her heart was aching harshly in her chest. It felt like her very happiness was being drained, but he looked so happy to see her again and something about that brought back some of her own happiness. “Sure, why not?” She responded as his smile grew, passing that notch as he grinned and led her over to the other guys who were on their bikes.
 “You found her!” Paul exclaimed, “We have been looking all over for you, princess. You’re a hard gal to find!”
 “Yeah, I’ve been taking care of a sick friend, I didn’t go out too much.” Y/N said to them, and honestly it wasn’t a complete lie. She really had been caring for Tyr.
 “We’re glad to see you again.” David said to her, “Thought you might have been ditching us. Glad to know that isn’t the case. Would have broken our hearts.” He had a smile, thought it was small, it somehow reached his eyes.
 Dwayne leaned down to listen to a young boy who was whispering into his ear, “Don’t worry Laddie, Y/N is a friend.” He assured the boy.
 “Your little brother?” Y/N asked smiling at the kid who seemed a tad bit shy.
 “You can say that.” Dwayne said to her flashing her a smile.
 “How about that ride now?” Paul asked Y/N growing giddy with excitement.
 Y/N wasn’t sure this was a good idea but they were welcoming so far. She had managed to put a protection charm on one of the necklaces she wore. It would ward away ill intent and since she was here and they had managed to approach her it must have been a good sign. “Sure, a ride sounds pretty damn good right now.”
 Marko insisted that she rode with him since he was the one to find her, Y/N thought it was cute and she decided why not? She got on the back of his bike, arms wrapped around his waist. Laddie got on the back of Dwayne’s bike with his help.
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 Something must have caught their attention because they moved nothing more than a few yards out when they stopped and David spoke up and Y/N realized who was close by. “Where you going Star?
 “For a ride.” She said to him, though her face looked like she didn’t want to be near the guys Y/N was with now. “This is Michael.”
 Michael glanced at Y/N confused and turning to look back like he had thought she was still behind him. What the hell did he think was going to happen? She was going to follow after them and go on a ride with them? Three people on one bike? She looked away from him, leaning her head against Marko’s back, unable to see the  grin on his lips at the feeling.
 “Star.” David repeated again as Michael tried to get Star to get her on his bike. Star paused in her steps. Like she was caught between two of the hardest choices of her life. Y/N wished she could understand the feeling. With a pointed look to Star, David managed to get her to come to him. Smirking as she got on the back of his bike.
 Paul laughed as his hand smacked the handlebar of his bike, Marko tried not to join him. Though his attempts to not were betrayed by the amusement in his eyes.
 “You know where Hudson’s Bluff is?” David asked Michael.
 “I can’t beat your bike,” Michael said knowing that a race would not end in his favor.
 “You don’t have to beat me Michael,  you just have to try to keep up.” David said, revving the engine of his bike and soon they went off, down the boardwalk and down the stairs onto the sandy beach. A cloud of sand throwing up into air behind them.
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 The laughter filled the night as they drove. Going under the pier and through the dark woods. Y/N held on tight to Marko as they went. It seemed like it had just been getting darker and darker though as they went. Michael and David neck and neck against each other.
 Michael was still trying to race.
 Next thing she knew, Michael’s bike skidded down and the rest of the guys stopped behind them, David on the very edge of the cliff. Y/N got off the back of Marko quickly. Dwayne handing Y/N Laddie to hold onto while the guys ran up to hold Michael back from trying to fight David while Star screamed.
 “What the hell are you doing?” Michael demanded the platinum blonde as he punched him before the guys got a chance to grab him. “Just you! Come on! Just you!” His voice came down to a whisper repeating, “Come on. Just you.”
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 Y/N was surprised that David just looked back at Michael, a smile on his face. Y/N could feel her own heart hammering hard in her chest as she held Laddie closer to her. Did her soulmate really just nearly go flying off the cliff’s edge? It took all her self-restraint to not break.
 She couldn’t go through that again. Even if he did ditch her, she wasn’t sure she could lose Michael, even if he never loved her.
 “How far are you willing to go Michael?” David asked him, Michael looking confused by his smile and yet he seemed interested.
 “Farther than you know.” Michael answered him, trying to level his breathing, and likely calm his rapidly beating heart.
 Marko made his way back over to Y/N along with Dwayne who thanked her for taking care of Laddie. “You okay, Y/N? You know I wouldn’t put your life in danger right?” Marko asked her placing his hand on her chin, making her look into his eyes.
 Y/N’s heart had almost been calm but looking into Marko’s eyes instantly had it beating quickly again. His eyes shined and his smile grew almost like he knew her reaction. “I’m okay.” She responded, nodding her head feeling confused, did she really just have a pull with Marko? That couldn’t have been possible… her soulmate was Michael, right?
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cbk1000 · 8 months
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Fandom Creator's Self-Rec Game!
Choose five favourites from your own creations (and tell me why, if you like!), then pass on to at least five other people. I'd love to hear what you're proudest of.
Tagged by @the-pen-pot and actually I think @anonymintea also tagged me a while back? I vaguely remember seeing that in my activity and kind of recoiling at the idea of trying to rec my own stuff. lmfao But I have time to sit down and do it now and I am being so brave. I am just going to rec Merlin fics for this post, since that's what I've been working on and thinking about for the last four years or so, and those fics are the ones that are fresh in my mind. (Honourable mention goes to my Originals series, though, because I spent so much time on that sumabitch.)
All right, five favourites...know that this is excruciating for me and feels very cringe, because I am not normal. lmao
And Down the River's Dim Expanse (Merthur, 13k)
In which Arthur is a water spirit who tries to drown Merlin. Merlin is not impressed.
(This one feels like it kind of just disappeared into the morass of words I've vomited up on the topic of BBC Merlin. I don't think it's got nearly as much attention as any of my other fics, but I'm fond of it because I love fairytales and folklore and specifically anything to do with any kind of creature that lives in the water and especially if said creature tries to drown people. I'd love to do something like this again and have several ideas for fairytales to adopt (i.e. twist completely out of shape).
The Book of Merthur (Merthur, 600k+)
'It was awkward business to ignore a man sitting the length of one knee from you, especially when he had such voluminous ears, and though Arthur made a valiant attempt at it, he had soon to abandon this in favour of grousing at Merlin for a myriad of grievous transgressions, the most pressing of which was his manner of sitting far too close, as if they were mates. This shortcoming was to become a theme when they laid down after passing round a hard cheese and some bread, Merlin in Arthur’s cloak, and Arthur in nothing at all, because his was the greater constitution; and whilst Arthur was working himself into the choicest bit of ground, with the least stones, Merlin suddenly rolled over, mummified within the cloak Arthur’s thoughtfulness had provided, and put his nose into Arthur’s neck.'
The 'yes homo' we all deserved, righting the heterosexual wrongs of canon.
(My thus far 646,363-word essay on the issues I have with canon. I'm eight chapters from the end and already feeling that post-huge-project depression even though I have several ideas for what I want to do next. I really love writing historical fiction and have incorporated that into fics before, but this fic has shown me that I really really love writing fantasy heavily inspired by history: it's the same amount of research, with the added bonus that I can do whatever the hell I want. Also, as mentioned in my first rec, I really love fairytales and folklore, and this gives me the chance to incorporate them in a way that straight up historical fiction doesn't allow. Basically, this fic has allowed me to shove my boner for Arthurian legend and medieval history down people's throats at the same time. Ain't free gay fanfiction where I can do what I like great?)
Fools by Heavenly Compulsion (Merthur, ?k)
In which Arthur is gay and besotted, Merlin is bisexual and oblivious, and they have to get their shit together through WhatsApp.
(I have no idea how many words this technically is, because it's comprised entirely of screenshots of fake social media posts. I've read a few social media fics and enjoyed them and got a whole bug up my ass wanting to try it. I thought it would be an interesting challenge because it would take away so many things that a writer can usually rely on to tell a story, and for me specifically it would completely cut me off from any kind of descriptive writing. So basically I cut off all my limbs except like one arm and decided to see how I got on with that. And it HAS been really interesting to try and shape a narrative through texts and Instagram and twitter posts and still try and convey emotions and distinct personalities with such limitations on what I can actually show. It's also a lot of fun putting the posts together, although you can definitely fall down a deep rabbit hole of trying to pick just the right photo.)
Whereat the Two Sword on the Field of Death a Deathless Love (Merthur, 131k)
In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young boy. But not quite in the way you think. 'The Once and Future King'/Merlin mashup; now with 50% more gay.
(This was the first Merlin fic I ever wrote, and an homage to one of my favourite books. It was also me trying to get the show rewrite monkey off my back and distinctly failing at that, since I went on to write one that is over 600,000 words and still not complete. It's also proof that I am 100% capable of rewriting the show in under 150k, I just chose to inflict over 600,000 words on anyone insane enough to sit down and read a 600k gay porn version of BBC Merlin.)
And Time and the World Are Ever in Flight (Merthur, 39k)
In which Arthur returns to the 21st century, learns about Google, and finally realises his dream of running away to a farm with Merlin.
(Listen, the finale damaged me, I'm still damaged, and I tried to undo it with nearly 40k of tea and baby sheep. A.K.A. the one where Arthur returns and they run a sheep farm in Ireland together and finally figure out they're gay for each other and neither of them is alone ever again.)
Tagging @aemelia (you will have to rec all of yours lmao) @kirythestitchwitch @thetourguidebarbie and anyone else who wants to do this and has multiple fics.
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i4bellingham · 1 year
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Ugh, pt 2 for the choice!! Maybe when she goes home and tells Jude what happened? (Here’s to hoping she comes to her senses and sticks with him)
THE CHOICE part two : jude bellingham x reader
part two to this jude fic right here !! + not proofread !!! and can i just mention how my fondness for musiala and bayern grew basically a ton since i last posted a fic ?? like i've been rewatching games that i missed and have been binge-watching their entire content in youtube like ???? bruv i need to calm down
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Everything was a blur.
A series of images flashing by your eyes in a fuzzy memory.
One minute you were answering your phone, mumbling a hurried “I’m on my way back home,” before you're wrenching your car door open in a frenzied state just to get away from Trent’s grasp.
You can faintly remember him calling out for you, a soft grip on your wrist as he tried to pull you back to him but you prevailed, an angry set of muttering leaving your lips before you now find yourself in front of your home.
Jude’s car is parked just beside you, signalling he's probably home now after hearing the shakiness and stress in your voice during the call that didn't even last for a mere minute.
The engine was already shut but you still remained stationary inside the warmth of your vehicle, with your thoughts running in crazy directions inside your head.
Jude is not aware of what truly transpired between you and Trent, and although you feel like he's got the gist of it, he doesn't know the entire thing that went down.
You feel like an absolute shit. Both as a person and as his girlfriend. You knew you should've told him everything before you said ‘yes’ to his question of being his girlfriend, sure you might hold some residual feelings for Trent and they're not as strong as the one you hold dear for Jude but the thing is, there is still a remainder fondness for the guy who you should have never let cross boundaries with you like that in the first place.
And worst of it all, Trent kissed you not even a full hour ago and you weren't there fully in your consciousness to stop it.
You don’t want to tell Jude and hurt him. But either way, you know there is a possibility that you'll end up doing just exactly that if the secrets and lies keep on piling up.
A heavy sigh leaves your lips at the thought. You really really don’t want to hurt Jude. It's the last thing you'd want to do especially to him but if you truly want to move past this stage, not just for your own self but for your relationship as well, you knew that coming clean to everything is the right thing to do.
And that's exactly what you're about to do.
The unmistakeable pounding in your chest and the clammy palms you wiped a few times over your shirt made breathing normally a tad bit challenging for you.
You take another deep breathe before pushing the door to your home open, immediately being greeted by the soft savory smell of a familiar dish you loved.
As you emerged from the hallway, you notice Jude on the open kitchen right away. There are drying pots and sauce pans on your sink, to which you presumed he used when cooking. The man himself was busy wiping down your marble countertop and mouthing the lyrics to a song playing in the background to notice your arrival.
In the dining table, two plates of your favorite pasta dish, a box of your favorite pastry and a bottle of your go-to non-alcoholic drink sat.
The temptation of punching yourself straight in the face was more than just a reoccurring thought. The guilt and anxiousness the brewed in the pit of your stomach made you want to throw up.
You could lose Jude after this.
There is a possibility that you'd lose him after this.
But you knew that he deserves to know the truth, for the entire thing even what happened tonight.
You're not certain how he'll react to it and you know losing him was feasible at this point. But if you have to beg on your knees to keep him, to make him stay, you will. If you have to endure a lot of things in order to keep him, you will go through them painstakingly.
Because you can’t lose the only man who showed genuine care and love for you. You can never get back up if you lose him, not after he picked up the only remaining fragile bits of you. Most importantly, you certainly can not let the man you love go even if it means not having some form of connection with Trent after this entire dilemma.
Slowly and silently, you walk over to where Jude was.
You wrap your arms around his waist, burying your face against his back feeling him jump at the sudden motion.
“Bloody hell- love!” Jude sighs at the sight of you, turning his entire body around to properly face you before he encircles his own arms over your shoulders. “You scared me! Do you want to give me a heart attack or something?”
He plants a kiss on your head, brows wrenching when you remained unresponsive.
“Surely you're not upset you didn't give me that no?” He jokes, almost making you cackle had the weight of this entire situation not been dragging you down. Jude shakes your shoulders, slightly pulling you away from him to take a look at your face. He immediately sees the tears pooling at your lash line, and with this he grabs you by the shoulders before pulling you with him on the couch; the food on the table he'd cooked all forgotten.
He sits you down on the couch before crouching in front of you, cupping your face on his palms.
“What’s wrong? Did something happen? Are you hurt? You were at Trent’s right? What's wrong? Did you guys fight-?”
“Jude.”
Sensing the seriousness and dread in your voice, Jude fixes his stance in front of you as he anticipates for the next words to come out of your mouth.
If you had a choice, you would take some time to collect your wits. Maybe spend a day with just yourself and think everything that you needed to tell him through. Just to settle down everything you wanted to confess to have your thoughts enunciated clearly in the manner that Jude can understand better.
But you don’t have that opportunity as you sat now, mouth opening and closing for a couple of times before you're being instructed by your boyfriend to breathe.
And take a deep breathe you did before the words came tumbling out of your mouth in a succession of how the events took place.
You told him about your feelings for Trent, what went down during the New Year’s eve and how your supposed best friend acted during his own birthday. You told him about how incredibly grateful you are to find him as a friend, before that title was ultimately changed into being your boyfriend. You told him about how you didn't want to lose him and everything you both got, not even in exchange for a future with Trent. You told him about your lingering feelings for Trent, one that he shouldn't worry about because you know they're only there and existing because you still care about him and the memories you had together. You told him about what happened during your visit at Trent’s tonight, how his friend and your best friend had kissed you and how you weren't able to push him fast enough because you were shocked and in disbelief. You told him everything, not leaving one single thought and memory behind, all the while gripping onto his hands that grew loose the moment you mentioned about the residual feelings you still hold for Trent.
Jude was silent the entire time you rambled, now hanging his head low as the space between you two grow silent.
He was still crouched down in front of you, but the hold on your hand had loosened incredibly that made your worries grow tenfold.
You know the thought is still a possibility, with the entire thing being let out in the open and susceptible for him to know of and understand, you know he could potentially break things up with you.
And the thought scares you more than you let on.
“... Jude?” You grip onto his hand harder, lightly shaking his wrists. “Baby please talk to me...”
But he doesn't.
Not straightaway at least.
When Jude removes his hands from your grasp, you almost felt like your entire world collapsed from that alone, thinking that everything was gonna be over for you and your relationship and the reprimanding thoughts spread wide inside your head, thinking that you deserved every bits of it if it did came down to having Jude break it off with you.
You wanted to breath a sigh of relief when he instead moves to sit down beside you, an arm's length of space dividing you both.
But you don’t. Not until he says something anyways, even if you're gonna be on the receiving end of his harsh remarks and accusations, you'll gladly open your ears to accept them.
Jude swipes a thumb over his lips, eyes fixated on the carpet underneath the coffee table as he speaks.
“Do you still love Trent?”
“Not in the way you think I do, but yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this before? Everything that happened?”
“Because Trent and I swept it under the rug ourselves. That night you and I met at the party, Trent and I didn't really talk and meet up after that. We only started communicating back when we began dating officially and the whole thing kind of was just forgotten... until tonight.”
Jude takes a glance at you, seeing the pout in your lips and the tears that gathered once more on your lash line. “Why didn't you tell all of this to me by your own then?”
You grow silent at this for a few moments, fingers swiping underneath your eyes before a shaky breath leaves your chest, fingers fiddling with the loose ends of your shirt as you recollect yourself.
“Because I’m scared.” You whisper, shoulders sagging. “I’m scared that you'll leave me the moment you find out about my history with Trentㅡnot that it's impossible right now anyways but I’m just scared... I was scared that I’ll lose everything we have and that I'd lose you because of this. So I kept a tight mouth about it thinking that I’ll tell you everything once Trent and I talked, but obviously shit went down tonight so here we are.”
Jude didn’t show any reaction as he listened to your explanation, just sitting still on his spot with a nonchalant face that gave you no leeway to gauge of his thoughts.
Knowing how extremely expressive your boyfriend is regardless of the situation, this sight of him with a deadpan face on just concluded the thoughts racing through your head.
“... I feel betrayed and hurt.” He starts off, eyes meeting yours for the very first time since you've done your ramble. “I had an inclination of what happened between the both you, just that I thought you'd liked him and he didn't reciprocate the feelings or whatever but I didn't know you guys hooked up-”
“We made out a couple of times Jude I swear to you that's all there is to that.” You chime in. You sit in front of him, taking his hands in your shaky, cold ones. “I’m so sorry for keeping this from you. I’m so sorry that it had to end up like this but I swear if I had known Trent would try something like that I wouldn't have gone to his house in the first place. Jude, please believe me. I would never intentionally hurt you... please, I don’t want to lose you.”
Globs of tears freely rolled on your cheeks as you drop your head low, voice turning into a mumble at the end of your sentence to stifle down the sobs that wracked your body to quiver.
“Please believe me... there was not a single time in this relationship that I lied to you. I would never lie to you Jude, please don't hate me-”
He'd never pinpoint what it is, but Jude thinks it's the amount of love and trust he has for you that made him pick you up from the ground and onto his lap, securing you with an arm around your waist and one over the back of your head, cradling you as you wept for forgiveness against his chest and wetting his shirt with your tears.
Love is such a fickle thing. One moment he was ready to pack some of his things, let the entire situation cool down and give you a moment and space to think about everything.
Jude did feel hurt, and upset and betrayed and angry. But he couldn't entirely shift the blame of how this night ended on you. He did have a clue of what your previous connection to Trent was, he knows he could've done something then to prevent it from spiraling out of control entirely but Jude himself was afraid.
What if everything you both had and built was from a foundation of lies? What if you still loved Trent? What if you were still seeing Trent behind his back? When he wasn't there with you?
But Jude wills himself to stop forming these kinds of thoughts; ones that places you in a bad light because if he's being honest, all he's ever seen and felt from you since you started dating was your genuine fondness and care for him. All he's gotten being on the receiving end of you attention was nothing short of your love shown in many different ways. You were always so lovely, so kind and so thoughtful of him that there's not a single day where he doesn't think that he got lucky to have you as his girlfriend. You've never once lied about anything except for when the playful conversation starts.
And your panic and anxiousness from when you answered the phone and when you got home was also enough for Jude to believe you. He's not gonna question if it's the right thing to do or if he's gonna regret doing this, all because he trusts you.
If Jude had diminished all of it the moment you told him the truth, he wouldn't even bother hearing you out for every questions that you answered with a worried gaze to him, as if you're anticipating for him to just up and leave through the front doors.
Jude kisses your hairline, planting a few more over your head. “It’s alright love, I believe you... it’s alright, I don’t hate you...”
But you don't stop muttering apologies against his chest, almost as if you didn’t hear him.
“’m sorry please don’t leave me... I’m sorry...”
Jude holds you close to him, not even minding the time and how late it had gotten since your conversation. Your cries had simmered down now and your pleas had reduced into a sporadic whisper. There is a huge wet patch of where your tears had drenched his chest, almost soaking the fabric through and through. The hold you had on his arm was still in the same tight grip as he's carrying you to your shared room, never once faltering in their firmness even as you slept in his arms.
Jude places you on your usual side of the bed, taking of your shirt, pants and shoes and replacing them with your go-to nightwear that's basically just an old plain shirt of his. He takes your makeup wipes from the bathroom, slowly and carefully wiping away the residue of any cosmetics before he's doing it two more times just in case he didn't get all of them in three tries. He also combs your hair, unknotting the matted parts from the cold air before letting it freely lay on your pillow.
Jude himself freshens up, changing his shirt and throwing the dirtied clothes in the hamper along with yours before he's sliding underneath the blankets with you, throwing an arm over your waist as you turn around in your sleep, wrapping a hand over his biceps and a leg in between his with your head against his chest.
Jude holds you close to him, laying wide awake on your bed as you slept soundly. There are no other thoughts in his head, but he knows the both of you needs to talk this through if you want the relationship to work.
Though he feels as though you're not the person he should be having the conversation with the next time. Jude had already heard your side of the story, it's only a matter of time before a confrontation between him and Trent happens too.
And if sensing that he's in Jude’s intrusive thoughts, your charging phone on the night stand lights up before it shortly begins to vibrate against the wood. And the name that used to be on good terms with Jude flashing on your screen now brought nothing but a knitted brows and a frowning face.
Jude reaches out to take the device from the table, unlocking it briefly before swiping the icon to the left, red button and ending the on-going call immediately. Jude doesn't waste any more of his time before he's sending a message to the contact number, and not long after that he blocks the contact off your phone too.
 
          ㅡ
        to: trent AA
             3:06 am
nice try mate
some good friend you are
don’t contact my girlfriend ever again.
          ㅡ
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csuitebitches · 5 months
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Heylo, I don’t know if you answer to personal relationship questions. I have recently stumbled to your account and I really love your content and I would love your advice on this.
I have recently realised I am not comfortable around masculine energy. I mean I always knew but I thought I had a progress and like I would want a relationship with a guy with healthy masculine energy. Turns out, being around masculine energy still scares me and I just don’t know what to do. How to overcome this uneasiness?
Hmm. I used to be the same way. I’m not sure if my story will resonate with you but see if it helps.
Growing up I wasn’t the beautiful friend. I was the chubby, spectacled, shy girl with a stutter. It took me a while to get myself sorted and feel confident.
But as a result, guys never really paid attention to me till I turned about 16-17. Which, for a girl, is pretty late considering that my friends were all dating boys since 11-12 (not like it even counts but basically the fact their crushes reciprocated their feelings and mine never did was a bit … crushing).
This meant that I began dating boys, that very frankly, didn’t deserve me. I began dating boys who were ready to “settle” for me because I thought I could never get the guys I wanted anyway. Or I began dating guys I would have the upper hand with; as in, I knew they liked me more and I could leave the relationship anytime. I know it sounds psychotic.
Confident guys made me nervous. Even as I grew older, lost all that weight, grew my hair out till my waist, learned how to use make up, got a dermatologist, went to speech therapy and became objectively 100x more attractive, I still felt like that “ugly” 12 year old on the inside even if i showed a very confident front. As my confidence had grown in another aspects of my life, my career, hobbies, academics were good - but men still made me nervous.
I realised that the problem was with me.
The fact that I dated men “below” my level showed what I thought of my own self, what I thought I truly deserved.
My fear stemmed from the fact of never being good enough for a man, not being beautiful enough, smart enough, fun enough. All these other girls were so seamlessly confident and I seemed to only have the fake kind of confidence.
True confidence can be spotted from a mile away.
Here’s what helped me. I began focusing on myself and began cultivating healthy platonic relationships with good men. I can never date these guys but they’re like my family now.
I think what made me sort of wary of confident, healthily masculine men was that their sense of identity was very strong. They knew what they liked and didn’t like, they knew who they were, they weren’t afraid to say what was on their mind. The last guy I was seeing projected exactly this and in that relationship (it was healthy, ended for other reasons) I felt very comfortable in my feminine. Which he was equally appreciative of. But I still felt not good enough.
You need to essentially develop friendships with men. Don’t look at them as creatures from other planets. Talk to them, make them your friend. Men are much more easier to befriend than women in my opinion - I’m always more conscious of myself around women than men. (that doesn’t mean that i don’t like being friends with women; I love my girlfriends, I feel it’s harder to impress a woman than a man).
At the same time, work on your confidence and try to figure out the root cause of why exactly you feel so uncomfortable.
Here’s another post that I had written about this topic.
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snowblossomreads · 1 year
Text
Verse Six: So I Gave Myself Over Willingly
Previous Chapter: I Never Knew My Killer Would Be Coming From Within
Summary: In where Severus opens a closed door, and [Y/n] closes it. (Or in where [Y/n] has the chance to escape but doesn't)
Pairing: Severus Snape x FemReader
Tag(s)/Warning(s): Angst (of course), Despair, Manipulation, Breaking Down, Smut [Dub-con/coercion, penetrative sex, oral (fem receiving), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, pet names, begging]
Word Count: 12K (it's what you guys deserve)
A/N: Hits post and runs. Jk So that took waaaay longer than expected and I'm sorry 😭😭 Life has been doing some things so it's been tough to write but here we are!! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter though bc it was a tough binch to write because I had to wrap basically everything up in it so sorry if it feels a little discombobulated.. Buckle up though and make sure ur necks are sturdy so you don't get whiplash from this chapter (granted the previous one was more whiplashy i think, sorry?). But still, enjoy and I'll see you at the end!
A/N+: AND I know I said I would throw the last two chapters up at once but I lied 😅😅🤣 you guys have waited too long and deserve something so here you go!
MINORS DNI
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Something had changed after that night.
After spending all her time existing within the four walls of the room she had been stored in since she was taken, [Y/n] was now being allowed to take her meals in the kitchen. Still being supervised of course but nonetheless, she was out of that room even if only for a little while.
Snape had also given her permission to stay in the living room while he was there and at first, she had refused and made a hasty retreat back into the room unnerved by his presence.
Yet he was persistent, repeatedly asking her until she relented and found herself just sitting quietly on the sofa near him as he read or worked in that tall wingback chair of his.
Additionally, he had bought her some new clothes to wear only a few days after that incident saying a change of clothing may make her feel better. Considering that she only had the clothes that were on her back when she came it would have made sense.
Maybe it would make her feel better in the dizzying situation she was in. But it didn’t. Especially when each article of clothing fit her just right. It only made her more anxious, more nauseated.
The change of his demeanor towards her was absolutely bizarre, frightening in a way that she couldn’t put a finger on. Not only did he take her hostage and then force her into deprave acts, but now he was being pleasant, even kind to her like he didn’t do those fucked up things to her. 
And it hadn’t sat well with her, this inexplicable shift, and it caused her stomach to tighten in discomfort, a pang of nausea washing over her each time she awoke. Yet as the uncountable days started to pass and the strange sort of pleasantry became familiar, expected almost, she found that her already exhausted psyche was becoming more confused.
It became worse as he began to allow her to leave that room of her own accord. Granted she knew he was watching, and if not him then Wormtail was. She was at least thankful that she had hardly seen that particular man around since the earlier encounter with him. 
But even with that she still felt frightened at her situation. Who wouldn’t be knowing that they had nowhere else to go? Trapped with a person who seemed to have two sides to them and was seemingly manipulating everyone around them. 
Herself included. 
These thoughts of fear and wariness swirled in the depths of her mind every single day that she had been there and it was absolutely exhausting.
So it was when he brought up going outside with him at the kitchen table where they sat, him reading the Daily Prophet while she picked at her breakfast, that she couldn’t help but be stunned into silence. Though it wasn’t as if she was talkative in the first place with him.
“I’m going into a muggle village today for some items.”
“Oh.”
Head tilted downwards, she barely acknowledged what he had said as her eyes gazed blankly at the food in her bowl while she swirled it absentmindedly with her spoon. Why would she care that he would be gone? All it meant was that she would be locked up again within the four walls of that room.
“Would you like to accompany me?”
The circular motion of the spoon stopped immediately at his words and for a split second so did her breathing. Accompany him outside? What kind of sick game was he playing at? To dangle such an offer out to her knowing to be outside and free was the only thing she had wanted since she had been there. 
To offer such a thing only for it to probably be snatched away the moment she answered in the affirmative. It was cruel. But what more could she expect from him? Her silence had Snape peering over the paper in his hand one eyebrow raised as he studied her frozen form.
“Or would you prefer to be kept here?”
Yet, even those thoughts of him toying with her couldn’t stop the outburst that left her in a panic when he interrupted her spiraling. 
“No!”
Head shooting up from its bowed position, [Y/n] watched as his eyebrows quirked up at her and the uncharacteristically lively way she had answered. And if she could see behind the paper that was partially obscuring his face, she would have seen thin lips drawn up into a minuscule smirk. 
Warmth prickled at her skin as she dropped her head back down, trying to avoid his examining gaze that she could still feel on her. It almost made her wish that she was still in that room because the crawling sensation he made her feel was unbearable at times. This being one of those times
“No, I meant I would like to come,” she began while gingerly dragging her fingers up and down her thighs trying to soothe herself before more quietly adding, “it’s been a while.” 
Falling silent after giving him an answer, the only sound between them was him turning the page of the newspaper causing it to rustle, and the white noise that she had become all too used to in this place. 
Moments passed in that silence and each one had her stomach tightening, her heart dropping and fingers digging into her legs as the chance of going outside seemed to grow further and further away each second he didn’t acquiesce. Who was she playing though? Did she really think he would let her accompany him outside? Truly-
“If that’s so,” he muttered looking at her barely touched bowl of food, “I advise you to hurry along with your meal. We leave in ten minutes and I expect you’ll need all of your strength.”
Looking up and going to meet his gaze, [Y/n] was only met with the moving pictures on the front page of the newspaper before going to stare down at her food. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been actually hungry as her diet consisted mostly of fear that left her unwilling to eat. 
But with the promise of going outside, and maybe, just maybe having a chance of freeing herself, she forced herself to eat the meal that was empty of taste and warmth.
It had taken her almost the full ten minutes to finish her food, and Snape had no problem inserting a remark here or there as time ticked closer. 
‘Hm, to think the promise of a walk outside was all you needed to be more responsive. How quaint.’
‘I’m almost done with this page and I would hurry if I were you.’
And as much as it would rattle her when he vaguely threatened to take away that chance of freedom, it had worked because the moment he closed the newspaper, she was staring at him, bowl empty and eyes pleading.
“Well then,” he said, placing the paper down, getting up, and walking beside her seated form before looking down at her. “Shall we?
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The moment she felt the warm breeze fluttering across her face, [Y/n] felt a tight ball of emotion begin to work its way up from her stomach before it sat heavily in her chest. 
Tears that she had thought were long shed attempted to prick at her eyes again as even in the gloominess of wherever this house was, she could still see that there were trees that had bright greenery adorning them. 
Greenery that had not been on any plant the last time she had been outside. How long had passed since she had been gone? After the first few weeks, she could barely keep up with time as it had been the least worrying thing on her mind.
“Now,” Snape’s voice broke her out of her thoughts and she flinched when she felt his fingers tightly enveloping her wrist. Looking up at him she was met with a raised brow. “I’m sure I don’t have to remind you but for your sake know that any funny business will get you nowhere. Understand?”
Funny business? And if she attempted any of that, what would he do? Kill her in front of all the muggles? Surely even he couldn’t obliviate all those people if he wanted to and even so he wasn’t at all stupid to cause a scene. 
No, that would be too simple, and with the glint in his dark eyes, [Y/n] could tell that it indeed would not be the case. So she couldn’t help but nod in agreement, a timid,
“Yes,” leaving her as even in the warm air a chill seemed to run down her spine at the look he gave her. Something told her a quick death would not be in store for her if she did try to do anything.
Seemingly pleased by that answer, he pulled her with him into the alleyway that divided the two buildings, not paying attention to the way she stumbled behind him before stopping in place. It almost caused her to bump into him yet he didn’t seem at all phased as he glanced around the area for any other sight of life.
“Hold on tight.”
His words were the last thing she heard before a squeak fell from her lips as he dropped her hand from his hold only to wrap his arms tightly around her. 
Head snapping up to look at him she felt a wave of nausea replace the feeling in her stomach as the sound of wind shrilled in her ear and her body felt as if it was being squeezed tightly. 
The vision of trees, the sky, and muggle machines passed by her in a whirlwind before a barely audible pop rang in her ear and they were standing upright again on solid ground.
Feeling his arms release her, [Y/n] made a step forward before a wave of nausea had her stumbling a bit. 
‘Perks of not apparating for a long time.’
She thought to herself as her hand flew blindly to the side to grab onto the wall to keep herself from falling flat onto the ground.  But instead of meeting the hard stone of the ground, she felt an arm wrap around her waist pulling her back gently.
“Tsk, steady you silly thing,” Snape murmured as his hand drifted to her lower back causing a shiver to climb up her spine at his firm touch.
“I’m fine.” She lied, gulping down the uneasy feeling bubbling in her stomach and turning back to look at him. For a moment when her eyes laid on him, she swore she saw an amused smile tug at his lip before it fell.  
Letting her go, he watched her take another step forward, less unsteady this time and more grounded.
“Thank you.” Her words of gratitude held hesitation and he merely shrugged before walking past her not even looking to see if she would follow.
“Mhm, come along then.”
Watching his back face her she began to follow in his footsteps not once even thinking to turn the other direction or apparate herself away from the place mind still hung on his words from earlier.
Venturing out of the alleyway they apparated into and blending in with the muggles, she followed him silently toward the many stands that lined the area.
It was lively. Crowded with muggles of all ages as they spoke to the sellers behind tables or stands while looking at the different wares that were being sold and trading banter amongst each other.
The noise of the conversations in the area had her wincing a bit, her senses no longer used to so much racket as it had been forever since there had been so many people around her.
She wondered, just briefly as they stopped in front of a stand selling a variety of produce and herbs, what they would do if they knew that a witch and wizard were only feet from them. 
Buying items just as they would acting as if this was an everyday occurrence for them even though it was not. Because it wasn’t every day someone's captor willingly brought them out. 
Eyeing him for a second, [Y/n] began to look around the area. Taking in the sights and people silently as Snape droned on to the merchant standing at the stall. 
Everyone there seemed to be so happy, exuberant in the sunlight that was pounding down on them as they went about their business. Children playing around as parents tried to corral them together. Teenagers hanging out with others speaking loudly and laughing. 
There was a joyful mood all around her. Yet she felt none of that joy while scanning the horizon. Even when her eyes landed on a figure standing on the far opposite of the stall they were at. 
Hands placed in their pocket as they watched over the people going and coming. The person looked most out of place with how stiff and uncomfortable they were. 
It was written all over their body how they didn’t seem to know how to act around all the people. Additionally, the clothes they wore didn’t match any of the muggle styles that the other people had on. No, it was more something a witch or wizard would wear thinking muggles would wear the same. 
And it was the same mistake that a lot of the trainees made during her time in Auror training. Failing to disguise oneself probably. All that to say the person she was staring at and who was currently failing their training was an Auror. 
Not a full fledged Auror no. But one in training at least and probably currently working on their concealment and disguise ability considering how easy it was to spot how out of place they were. 
That also meant that a real Auror, one that she may have worked with before or known, was here. Watching the student and also paying attention to their surroundings. 
Knowing that, it was as if her brain had suddenly snapped back on, words written almost in big red letters scrawled across her mind telling her to:
Run.
She could do it if she truly wanted to. Escape. Make a scene and attract the Auror's attention. She didn’t have to stay with the man who at the moment was paying no mind to her.
Yes, if she could just get the attention of the trainee somehow without Snape noticing her she would be free! Her heart raced at the thought. Eyes almost welling up with tears yet doing her best to tamp down any emotion that would bring his attention to her.
Scanning the area she tried to determine who was who if there was at least a friend in the area that she had not seen and vice versa. Of course, she didn’t think it would be easy looking for a trained Auror who would be perfectly disguised yet as she looked and searched she saw nothing. 
Saw no one looking at her or paying her any mind. No, everyone continued to go on their way enjoying their time out as they passed by happy and unaware that danger lurked around the corner. 
And then a thought hit her square in the face. If she ran, if she made a scene. What would happen to the muggles around her? Surely Snape was not going to just let her go. She wasn’t naive to believe that considering if she was found he would be receiving a one way ticket to Azkaban.
No, he would make sure she didn’t leave here alive regardless of any of the muggles around. What were a few muggle lives to avoid being sent to probably one of the worst places a witch or wizard could go? As that thought came another reared its head. What would happen to her if she got away? 
There was no doubt in her mind she would be brought back to the Ministry and questioned about all she had seen and all that happened. But what then? 
Let her go and go on about her life? 
Go home?
To an empty house that had death soaked into its walls and floor? 
What about the large target on her back she was sure she would have the moment she ran for it? Even if she was lucky and escaped, she would have to hide from Death Eaters until a day when they were no longer a threat.
Sure she could have other Aurors around her protection, or maybe stay at the Ministry for an indefinite time until it was safe but when would that happen? What made her so sure that any of the Aurors could protect her even if they tried? She had seen how the Death Eaters wiped out her team with ease so how would just a few Aurors work against them? 
And if she stayed at the Ministry what would happen if  You-Know-Who got the reign of terror he wanted? It would have all been for nothing. 
These thoughts bounced in her brain over and over spinning tangled webs of scenarios of how her running would turn out. And the frightening part was that they all seemed to lead down a road of living in despair, fear, and every so often death.  
“[Y/n]?”
Having been drowning in those thoughts, she hadn’t recognized her name being called, eyes glazed over as she stared at the spot where the Auror to be once stood. 
But they were no longer occupying that spot, no longer close enough to see and she had realized at that moment she had missed her chance. Missed her way to freedom that had been so close yet held away from it by a fear that had seemed to come from nowhere.
“[Y/n].”
The firmness in his voice along with feeling his hand landing on her lower back jolted her out of her trance, her eyes landing on him as tears pricked at her eyes. 
“Yes?” She whispered, the fire and adrenaline of seemingly almost free leaving her and being replaced with a hollowed out feeling that made her feel almost ill.
“You seemed tired,” he started, eyebrow raised as he examined her features, no doubt seeing how glassy her eyes were, “I think that is enough, no?”  
For a moment there was a silence between them that seemed to suck all the noise around them away before she answered him.
“Yes…I think so too.”  
The hand that he had placed on her back slipped down and away from her before she felt his digits brush her limp ones. A sense of unease usually filled her whenever he touched her like this, yet now she felt nothing. 
Instead, she made no effort to pull away like usual when he went to envelop her trembling hand with his own steady and firm grip allowing him to guide them back to the alleyway they had arrived from and apparating back to his home. 
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When they returned, the rest of the day had been spent in a silence that was normal for them now. But they both knew another change had occurred. One that she didn’t want to acknowledge as it would make it real, and one he didn’t want to force out of her because well, there was no gain in that.
So when she was summoned from her room after skittering back into it almost voluntarily when they returned, Snape couldn’t help but truly examine her slumped form as she entered the kitchen. The longer she had been holed up in this place, the more her body language showed how physically tired she was. 
Dark circles had long painted themselves under her eyes from the tormenting nightmares that stayed with her from morning to night. Not even in her dreaming, where one should be able to at least forget what the day brought, had she been safe from his entrapment as she had found out quickly enough. 
Yet he still could tell that even through all of it, that there had been a fighting spirit in her. A defiance that burned and a naive hope that she would get out of the situation that she had landed herself in. 
But this weariness she showed to him at the moment seemed different. There was no light in her eyes. No amount of defiance radiated from her as she quietly sat across from him, not even acknowledging the food in front of her. 
There was nothing. Just her and him in a world that probably no longer acknowledged that she had been a part of it. Not when she had been missing for so long without as much of a trace of where she had gone to. 
Not that the Ministry would ever find one that is. 
It was Snape that broke the silence between them just as he had done that morning, eyes squarely on her as she finally began to pick at her food. 
“I hope that I can bring you out again.”
A simple statement that needed no responding to. Not that he was expecting one from her as she mindlessly brought a spoonful of food to her mouth.
“I don’t care for it but it seems to do you well.”  
He continued, bringing his cup up towards his lips to drink from while just taking in the sight of her sagging shoulders and how her eyes stared pointedly at the bowl in front of her. 
“Why didn’t you try to run?”
That finally seemed to have captured her attention as her hand froze midway through scooping up the food in her bowl. For a moment she stayed that way not looking up at him, eyes still glued on the meal in front of her. 
Not one to enjoy repeating himself, he waited, giving her time to fill the silence with her answer.
“What do you mean?”
Her voice was barely above a whisper as she kept her face low while the grip on her spoon tightened.
“Don’t play dumb with me,” he sneered, tone laced with annoyance yet devoid of any real malice towards her as he continued. “Do you not think I know an Auror when I see one? You all are hardly as inconspicuous as you try to make yourself be.”
Silence blanketed them again but this time there was a tension in it like a tightly wound knot that was about to unravel or an invisible crackle in the air that only needed a spark to ignite. And the spark came with his next words.
“You had your chance yet here you are still,” Snape pointed out eyes still on her, “surely a mind as brilliant as yours knows why.”
“I don’t know.” 
“You don’t…know?”
There was an incredulous quality in his tone as he repeated the weak response that she had given. 
“Is that all…you don’t know?” He asked, watching as her sagging shoulders tensed up as she placed the spoon that she had held so tightly down.
“Maybe,” she murmured almost inaudibly, lifting her head revealing a pointed glare at him while trying to hold in the tears that had been burning in her eyes since they had returned. “Maybe it was because I was worried about the muggles that were there who might get hurt if something happened,” she answered, voice shaking yet gaining in volume. 
“Or maybe it’s because if I ran, and managed to escape somehow  I wouldn’t even be able to sleep, wouldn’t be able to live because I’m scared some Death Eater is going to come barreling through my door trying to kill me like they did my parents and brother!”
A shrill tone had seeped its way into her voice as [Y/n] suddenly shot up from her chair, knocking it backward with a loud clatter that she ignored as she stomped over to him. Unflinchingly, he watched her approach him, his expression neutral as he watched a range of emotions twist her features before it stopped at one. 
Despair.
Slamming her hands on the edge of the table causing the dinnerware to shake she stood over him, tears beginning to stream down her face. “Or is it,” her breath hitched, “i-is it because I know when I go home, there will be no one? Absolutely no one there. Because of me.” 
“Does that make you happy?” She shouted her voice cracking from the intensity as her body trembled with the grief that she had been carrying for months at that point. 
Refusing to wipe the tears out of her eyes she stared at him with her blurred vision. His expression was fixed the entire time she had been screaming at him, unaffected by her cries and tears and it wasn’t unexpected. There was no twitch of his lips, no raise of a brow like he would usually have done. 
Nothing.
He just sat there cold and distant as she broke into a million pieces in front of him. It shouldn’t have hurt her so much yet she couldn’t help the sudden weakness that seized hold of her limbs. Weighing her down as any strength from her was sapped. 
“Is that what you wanted to hear me say?” She whispered before her shaking legs gave out causing her to collapse on the floor in a weeping pile. Hands coming up to bury her face in them as sob after choked sob was pulled out from her while she trembled and cried.
“My family,” she rasped, her voice loud and raw filled with the agony that maybe if she had been more careful all of this would have never happened and her family and friends would have been still alive. Gasping for air, she tried to speak yet it was too much, all of it was just too much.
Instead of words, a cry left her lips that was immensely piercing as she lunged forward, arms wrapping around herself as she wept. It had been so ear-splitting that it covered the sound of Snape’s chair scraping against the ground before he was next to her on the floor. 
Arms finding their place around [Y/n] he dragged her close to him in an embrace as his hand began to stroke circles on her lower back. Yet as comforting as embraces were supposed to be, this one only had her sobbing louder as she stayed in his arms too tired and distraught to try and fight him away.
“Why, why did this have to happen,” she gasped out trying to claw back as much air into her lungs as she could, “if I- if I would have just died that day they-they-.”
Unable to finish her thought as her mind swirled over and over with guilt about everything that had happened, another noisy cry left her body as she sunk completely into his embrace no longer caring that he was holding her.  
It was all just too much.
“Shh enough of that now.” Snape hummed as she shuddered with each shaky breath she took trying to regain some control over her emotions. 
Cooing at her, he continued to rub small circles on her lower back as if trying to comfort her, his voice low and silky as he whispered in her ear. “There was nothing you could have done to save your family [Y/n] you did your best. ” 
Had she been thinking clearly and not being strangled with the unrelenting thoughts of her failures, she would have cursed at him, hit him, and pushed him away yet all she did was continue to cry as she listened to him speak. 
“But even though they are no more,” he murmured softly, his lips ghosting against her ear causing her breath to become more uneven and her skin to prickle, “I would think they would prefer their daughter to be in capable hands, no? Someone who could take care of you and keep you from the same harm that came upon them,” he continued, lips caressing over the juncture of her neck as he spoke. “It would make them happy, wouldn’t it? And you’ve always done what you could to make them happy right?”
Pausing his speech, he pulled away to look at her yet her eyes stayed lowered as her mind reeled with the implications of his words. Without him, she would be alone having been her only contact with the world for a while not including today. 
Though even when she was out there she had felt utterly alone even when surrounded by those people. Even when she could have escaped, her thoughts always seemed to have ended back to Snape. Whether it be what he would do to others or what he would do to her to make her stay. 
So if she escaped, she would be in danger for an undetermined amount of time. But if she stayed at least she would be safe from the wrath of any Death Eater. He had also been kinder to her recently as if trying to wipe the memories of earlier on away. It was strange but it had been welcomed even if she had been on edge about it. 
But fighting him all this time didn’t work, it was never going to work and she knew that from the moment she was given to him and he refused to let her go. And she was utterly exhausted, waking up every day with little to no autonomy along with the fear of him just getting tired of her resistance and outright killing her once his patient facade ran out.
So it was okay, right? Okay, for her to accept it, to ease the suffering that was crushing her heart, suffocating her, and clouding her mind every day. Okay to do something to avoid the pain the future would no doubt bring if she didn’t accept it. Right?
You don’t have to fight anymore. Just stay. 
Dimmed eyes finally turned to look at him, tears still clinging to her eyelids as she gazed up at the concerned expression that he wore. That was a first. To see any other look from him other than contempt, or just pure uninterest.  
“Y-you, won’t let them hurt me?” She stuttered out, looking into his dark eyes that seemed to dig into her mind as she bargained with herself.
With a shake of his head, he leaned down slightly closing some distance between them before bringing a hand up to caress her tear-stained cheek softly. 
It was almost lovingly the way the back of his palm slid against her skin. Slowly, with no haste in his movement which caused a shiver to crawl up her spine and a knot to begin to grow in her stomach as he captured her attention with his words and actions.
“Never,” his voice was no louder than a murmur, it was deep, and dark as it vibrated inside her while his lips neared her ear. “No witch or wizard will ever be able to hurt you [Y/n],” he whispered, causing her breath to hitch at his closeness, at the way his voice seemed to seep deeper into her causing something in her body to awaken. “Let me keep you safe, isn’t that what you wanted all this time? To be safe?”
Safe. 
She had hardly known what that felt like for so long. To be safe. To not wake up and fall asleep worried about what would happen to her. To not have to consider what would happen to her if she did run away. 
No, if she stayed put at least she would have some idea of what was to come for her. At least in this hell, she knew the devil who ruled it, and what he wanted from her. 
If he had wanted to kill her, he would have done that months, weeks, or days ago. He had every chance to. However, here she was with his arms wrapped around her, body pressed against hers, and what seemed to be a sincere look on his face. 
One that lulled her into a stillness, had her shoulders slumping and had the last drops of tears being blinked away. As inaudible as the way her resolve shattered in front of them, it was the same as the word that fell quietly from her lips.
“Okay.” 
It was so hushed that had he not been close to her, had there been any other noise right before she spoke neither of them would have heard it. 
Her voice was unrecognizable to herself as she gazed up at him, the realization of her signing away her freedom to him long buried in the depth of her mind. Because what was signing something away that you didn’t have in the first place?
“I’ll stay, I won’t try to run or leave again,” [Y/n] whimpered, as she searched his face for any sign of understanding, “ so please just, just…” 
Her words trailed off as her mind replayed his vile words to her in the beginning. The assaults, the sleeplessness, and invading of her own mind to twist it and doubt the feelings she had. Yet somehow all of that began to be clouded over with a strange relief.
Relief born out of knowing that by accepting to stay she would never have to face that again. Never have to face danger again. Just stay and exist. 
The thought itself was pleasant. Something she had wanted even if this was not the way she thought she would get it.
As if he could understand her without words, Snape simply nodded. 
He went to stroke her cheek once more while the arm already wrapped around her drew her closer to him in a firm and protective grip. Warmth radiated from their bodies as they sat near each other, [Y/n] almost on his lap as she clinged to him like a sort of lifeline. 
A sight to behold for both of them if they saw it from another view, as Snape leaned his head down towards her, his lips skimming against her forehead ghosting over the skin before hovering just inches away from hers. 
There was a tremble in her, yet she didn’t pull away, didn’t try to rip herself from him in disgust and realization. Instead, her fingers tightened their grip on his shirt as she swallowed before tilting her head up just enough that their lips brushed against each other. 
Her movement was all it took before Snape was pressing his lips lightly against hers. Sealing their pact as he dropped the hand from her cheek and took hold of her with both arms. 
Their bodies were crushed together as a soft mewl caught in [Y/n] throat at the sensation of being held so tightly and protectively. 
Being kissed so lightly yet feeling a furious undercurrent right beneath it that took her breath away as her eyes fell close and she allowed herself to be pulled into his desires.  
“Let me keep you safe.” 
Words husked out as she looked at Snape with lidded eyes and swollen lips as he pulled away from her. Mind in a haze, she nodded at him and watched as he stood. 
And for a moment he hovered over her, eyes raking over her disheveled form that was practically laid out in front of him before going to help her up. Wobbly on her feet, she let him guide her out of the kitchen, past the living room, and up the stairs. 
Her eyes never left his form, as she trailed behind him. Their fingers entwined as they passed the room that she had reluctantly called hers for all this time. 
Its door stood open, light filtering in yet she paid no heed to it as they went past it. No, there was no light where she was going as they went deeper down the hallway before Snape was opening the door to another room.
His own.
Had she had time she would have observed all that was around her. From the items placed on shelves to the stack of chests that sat in the corner of the room.
But there was none as when they passed the threshold of the door, she was immediately being spun around to face him. His hands reached down, tugging at the hem of her skirt yanking it and her underwear off with little resistance from [Y/n] who made no move to stop him. 
Next was the blouse that he had brought to her a number of days ago. That and her bra were unceremoniously torn off her and discarded somewhere to the side causing her to shiver at the sudden cold air that kissed her skin. 
The discomfort was suddenly forgotten as she felt herself being engulfed in his arms, his lips finding the spot on her neck and a hand cupping her ass squeezing harshly and causing a low whimper to leave her. 
Slowly he walked them back, his mouth sucking and kissing at her bare skin as heat corded in her stomach from the way he squeezed and caressed her behind. 
With each step he took forward, she moved backward and before long, a surprised sound left her throat when the back of her legs hit the bed and she found herself tumbling onto the soft sheets and plush mattress that was his bed. 
For a second she couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by his scent that lingered on his bedspread. It was dark, intoxicating, and oddly sensual as she lay upon the silky sheets that felt so good against her skin. 
If she could stay there forever, she probably would as she never felt so immensely drawn to something so suddenly. Slowly she dragged herself further up the bed so that she was basically laying right in the middle of it. 
Peeking up at him with lidded eyes, dark eyes glittered when they met her own unsure ones, holding her attention as he began to shed his clothing. First, the frock coat was tossed to the ground, then the cravat that was nestled comfortably around his neck fell on top of it. 
The white button up dress shirt underneath came next, leaving his upper body bare as his digits began to slowly move down to his trousers. 
It was as if she was hypnotized as she watched him, his fingers brushing against the impression of his arousal. Stroking it languidly as he watched her stare at him. 
Her breath picked up slightly and her core throbbed when he began to unbutton himself and [Y/n] couldn’t stop her thighs from clenching together. 
Her body, already excited from his touches and kisses, was becoming even more aroused at the sight in front of her and what was to come. But she couldn't stop the way her eyes snapped close and how she turned her head away from him as he began to remove his trousers. 
It wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen his cock before. He had used her mouth more than once for his pleasure and her torture. Even fucked her in her dreams. 
However, all she could do now was listen to the sound of him shuffling his clothes off, a quiet groan filling the room before she felt the bed dip beneath her, and sensed his body hovering over hers. 
“Open your eyes,” he hummed, taking her chin gingerly into his hands and turning her so she was facing him. 
She couldn’t, even if she wanted to open them she couldn’t as it felt like there were weights holding them close. And had it been any other time before this, he would have probably forced them open to look at what he was doing to her body. 
Make her watch as he unraveled her knowing where exactly to touch and kiss to have her mind and body dueling each other for control. But he didn’t. 
Instead, he leaned down and pressed feathery kisses against her closed eyelids. Trailing down to take her lips in a brief kiss before he began to suck at her neck. A sigh escaped [Y/n] as he began to kiss and suck love marks into her skin that would no doubt be bruised the next day. 
The vision of her body being littered with marks from him made him groan into her skin as he felt his arousal become harder at the thought. 
Lips pressed against her neck one last time, he began to pepper hot kisses down her throat, sucking and licking all the way down until he reached the swell of her breast. Watching as her chest moved up and down with each shaky breath, Snape kissed her warm skin once more before looking up at her.
“[Y/n] open your eyes.” He commanded in that soft, yet domineering tone of his that had her eyes squeezing tighter and her fingers gripping the sheets underneath her. 
A whimper fell from her as she shook her head from side to side. No matter how much she tried, it just felt like her eyelids were glued shut not wanting to open and experience what was happening. She just couldn’t open them and maybe it was because somewhere in the back of her mind she was still holding out. Holding to some resistance that did not want to let go.
“I-I can’t.”
Expecting him to lose his patience with her, and preparing for the cruel man she had first met to come alive again she tensed as she felt him blow warm air against her nipples. In an instant, they tightened from the sensation and the temperature change causing goosebumps to rise on her skin.
His digits trailed up her body leaving a tingling sensation in its trail before he was cupping the round velvety flesh in his hands. Squeezing it between his digits before massaging the skin and leaving kisses all around it.
“Very well.” 
For a moment there was just stillness. Only the sound of their breaths mingled in the air as his fingers flicked at the hardened buds, rolling them in between each digit and pulling the sensitive flesh. 
A moan caught in her throat as the sensation had her heart feeling as if it would burst out of her chest while the feeling of want intensified in her stomach and had her throbbing. Over and over he rolled them causing her to sigh and arch until,
“Ah!” 
Eyes snapping open at the sharp pain that suddenly shocked her body replacing the pleasure that was coursing through her, a cry of surprise clawed itself out from her throat as she felt his teeth sink into her soft flesh. 
Craning her head to look at him, she was met with glittering eyes staring back at her shocked expression before the groan of pain died down to a whine as he began to suck at the tender flesh. 
His gaze was trained on her as his tongue swirled around the aching skin in an attempt to soothe the pain as his fingers rolled and pulled at her other nipple. 
With every suck, and pinch he watched her reactions, the way her eyes became lidded again, how she bit her bottom lip to keep a moan at bay. How she stared at him like she was caught in her own trance unable to break away from the pleasure that was churning in her body from his actions.
“Good girl.”
His praise came out as a growl, low, and guttural, causing the vibrations from it to sink into her skin, bury themselves into her bones and run up her spine as he continued to worship her soft chest. 
Broken whimpers and sighs formed and spilled from her lips as he moved to play with her other breast, giving it the same treatment as the other but this time only scraping the nipple with his teeth before taking it between his lips and sucking at it harshly. 
Feeling the hand that had found hold on her waist earlier begin to travel down her body, [Y/n] sucked in a harsh breath, stilling as his fingers stroked her lower stomach before slowly making their way in between her spread thighs that quivered.
Massaging the fleshy skin of her inner thigh, he squeezed the area lightly, while continuing to nibble at her hardened buds. Moving from one to the other making sure they were both tended to as his hand continued its journey upward before it was finally cupping her soaked opening.
“Mmph!” 
Feeling the palm of his hand come into contact with her entrance had her moaning out, her hips bucking down in his hold involuntarily as he began to grind his hand against her. 
Moan after strangled moan left her throat as she rolled her hips, mind forgetting about any sort of resistance she tried to hold on to as the pulsing in her cunt grew stronger with each press of her hips towards his palm.
Everything felt so dizzying and intoxicating and it only worsened as he released her sore and swollen nipple from his lips. A smirk grew on his expression as he leaned up to capture her bottom lip sucking at it before pressing their lips together in a heated kiss.
Tongue swiping at her lips, Snape wasted no time and removed the palm of his hand from her cunt, causing a whine to leave her and her hips to jerk, already missing his touch. 
But it was only for a second as a high pitch sound left her lips, parting them open and giving him entrance to her as his fingers began to rub her already sensitive clit which had begun to throb as soon as she started to grind against his hand. 
Pressing his fingers against her pearl, he began to rub harsh tight circles against it as he continued kissing her and drinking in her moans. His tongue encircling hers, stroked and teased it before he felt her shyly begin to move her own tongue against his. 
Her actions had him groaning into her mouth pressing down further into her and, stealing almost all the will he had not to ravage her body right then as she began to finally accept him. 
Tongue swirling around his, licking it, tasting him, and exploring just as he was doing to her, [Y/n] couldn’t help but sigh from his touch and his kiss. 
For a moment he let her have her fun, let her do some teasing before he began to bully her curious little appendage into submission and exploring the rest of her waiting mouth as she melted underneath him. 
Her body loosened completely to him as her eyes fluttered closed and her mind only thought of the pleasure his mouth and hands were bringing her. 
Each press into her clit had her moaning into him, legs tensing and stomach clenching while her cunt ached and fluttered around nothing. Waiting and wanting for something to fill it up to soothe the throbbing that had become incessant. 
He held her there for what felt like an eternity, kissing and stroking her, cording her pleasure tighter and tighter. Making her moan louder into his mouth and grind her wetness against him as she gave him what he had been looking for. 
And as the throbbing in her lower body became stronger, singling that she was reaching her end, she couldn’t help the sob that was ripped from her as he suddenly pulled his fingers away. 
“Becoming needy now aren’t we?” He teased, pulling away from her lips and taking in her quivering form beneath him as a whimper broke free from her. 
Wide eyes and dilated pupils stared back up at him with desire and need burning in them as her lips, swollen and wet from the heated kisses he had placed on them, trembled.  
Leaning down and pressing his lips against her cheek in a gentle kiss, he began to move down on her body. Leaving kisses down her chest and stomach until he settled between her legs, eyes landing on her swollen opening that glistened with her juices that almost seemed to be dripping out of her.
It made his stomach burn, and his cock throb as he took in the sight of what his teasing had done to her. His eyes stayed fixated on her opening, how it seemed to clench and unclench looking for something to fill the void that was there. 
The sight was utterly vulgar and utterly delicious as he licked his thin lips, fingers going to spread her open filling the air with a wet sticky noise and her moans as he exposed her.
Just staring at her wet entrance had him thinking about all the ways he could fill her up. With his tongue, fingers, cock. Oh yes, he would show her. Show her how good it felt, how good it could have always felt if she had just let it. A groan broke free from him just thinking about all the ways he would have her.
“P-please.” Her voice, tiny and unsure, jolted him out of his thoughts as he felt her fingers brush against his hand causing him to look at the bashful expression on her face. “Please don’t stare like that.” 
It was a request that was so innocent sounding, so shy and nothing like what he ever thought he would hear from her. Well, that wasn’t all true, it was something he never thought he would hear so soon. But it was asked so sweetly that he couldn’t help but to agree.
"Of course,” he murmured as she saw a glint cross his eyes, “why stare when I can just have a taste?”
Not having a second to react to his words, a broken shriek of,
“Oh my god!”
Tore through the air as he pressed his face against her opening, tongue darting into her as he collected beads of her wetness while his fingers held her open for him.
Each swirl of his tongue inside her has her gripping the sheets, moaning and grinding her hips against his face in an attempt to feel him deeper inside. 
Harsh puffs of air push out of her lungs as the slick sounds of him licking and sucking her mingle around with groans that she no longer could pinpoint to either one of them. 
It was debauched. The way she was letting him consume her body and mind when she had tried to fend that exact thing off from the beginning. But she couldn’t stop, not when he was making her feel so good that she could hardly breathe. Not with the way he was making her body throb and want more from him. 
A louder moan broke through her barging, hips arching up as the sudden intrusion of his digits sliding into her alongside his tongue had her crying out. Each thrust was met with a lap from his tongue as he drank the juices that she was spilling out.
“Mmm so wet [Y/n],” he groaned out, voice muffled as he pressed his lips against her folds sucking at them and licking up the juices that his fingers were pulling from her, “delicious little thing you are with those pretty sounds.” 
Any sentence or word that she tried to form in her mind would undoubtedly have made no sense as all she could think about was what his tongue and fingers were doing to her. 
How he was stretching and milking her cunt with talented fingers and causing the burning in her belly to become so strong that it was almost painful from the pleasure that was rapidly building in her. 
She was so close and she needed this. Needed the release that he had been building up inside her.  Needed the coil inside her to snap as she felt his fingers begin to travel up. She needed it, needed him. 
As if he could hear her thoughts, he gave her a taste of what she wanted. His tongue and fingers began plugging deeper inside her causing an elongated moan to leave her lips. His fingers moved at a rapid pace as he stroked the spongy spot deep inside her while lapping at her causing loud squelching sounds of her wetness to fill the air. 
Not only that, he had pressed his entire face against her core causing the ridge of his nose to nuzzle her clit. Massaging and pressing against it in tandem with the thrust of his fingers inside of her.
“Ah!”
Her entire body trembled as she clenched her hand into a fist, nails digging into her palms that would no doubt have crescent-shaped imprints in them when all was done. 
Telltale signs of her approaching orgasm began to wash over her as her cunt sucked his fingers in squeezing them and her clit throbbed with each nuzzle against it. 
Each thrust of his tongue and finger had her moans becoming higher and higher in pitch until all she could think about was the searing pleasure burning in her belly.
Her chest began to heave rapidly just as rapidly as the way he was plundering her body and soaking them both with her wetness. Feeling the cord in her belly tighten and tighten and her body trembling  her lips fell open a loud moan about to escape before it morphed in a sudden and choked out, 
“No!”
It was a desperate almost animalistic sound that left her throat as Snape suddenly pulled away from her. His fingers and tongue slipped out and away from her soaked cunt that was twitching uncontrollably and her clit that was swollen and throbbing. 
Tears that seemed to have come from nowhere threatened to spill as she squirmed underneath him,  hips wantonly chasing back after his digits and tongue as a dark chuckle filled her ears.
“Eager, are we?” He husked lowly, “you’ll have me in you again soon enough [Y/n] just be patient.” He continued as he began to move his way back up against her body, fingers trailing up her skin and stroking her warm skin before settling such an intense gaze upon her that it caused her to avert her own from him. 
“Mm, none of that now,” he murmured, gingerly taking her chin in between damp fingers and turning her head to face him even though her eyes were still averted. “Look at me.”
Biting her lips, [Y/n] hesitated for a moment but only for a moment because as her mind tried to give her reasons not to do as he asked, his voice was back in all its soft dark velvet that had her wanting to obey.
“Sweet girl,” he whispered in a sultry voice, pressing a kiss to her forehead and cheek, “look at me, be my good girl, and look at me. ”
Something about the way he called her ‘good girl’ had her stomach churning in pleasure, a tiny mewl leaving her as she let the hesitation she held melt allowing herself to obey his words.
When their eyes met, she felt her breath hitch for a moment as she looked into black gleaming eyes. She had never once looked this deep into his eyes and as she did it felt like she was being sucked into an unending dark sea that had no end.
As dark as it was, and as unending as it felt, there was a strange sensation of never wanting to be let go of it. For not only was the darkness not cold as she thought it would be, but it was actually warm, inviting almost.
“There she is,” his voice invaded her senses pulling her up from that abyss as she felt his lips brush against hers, “such a good girl for me.” He added before pressing his lips against hers once more for another kiss. 
To his surprise and delight, it was her who deepened the kiss this time around. Her arms wrapped around his shoulder while she leaned up a bit to press against him even more. 
A growl emitted from his throat as she parted her lips for him inviting him to taste her again with no resistance. And he did. Tongue swirling around in her mouth as her fingers carded through his hair as she let herself be dominated. 
It was absolutely alluring to him, the way she was giving herself to the pleasure now, no longer fighting. And who was he to not enjoy the obedience that she was giving him? 
Pulling away from the kiss and watching as lust shined in her eyes while she stared at him as if waiting for him to tell her what to do. He leaned down, kissing her once more before placing his lips near her ear and whispering, “Would you like me to take care of you [Y/n]?” 
Whimpering a little at the question and the underlying meaning, she could only nod her answer fearing her voice would fail if she tried to speak. Instead of acquiescing, Snape shook his own head at her nonverbal answer, a little smirk playing at his lips.
“No, let me hear you. I want to hear you say the words.”
Unlike the way she hesitated to look at him before, there was no hesitation in the words she spoke even if they had not been hurried either.
“Please,” she begged in a tiny voice unrecognizable to herself, her arms tightening around his shoulder bringing him closer to her. “Please take care of me.”
A pleasant almost kind smile grew on his lips at her word before he leaned down and pressed them against her cheek before murmuring a quiet, “of course.” 
Letting out an almost relieved sigh, [Y/n] felt herself sinking further into the bed as Snape nestled his body right between her spread thighs that seemed to fall open more. 
Welcoming him as he wrapped his fingers around his cock, guiding it to her entrance and slowly beginning to roll his hips against her. Each rocking motion caused her to gasp as his cock began to nudge her entrance open with each movement. 
He did this a couple of more times, pushing past the entrance of her folds teasingly before pulling out, groaning at sticky wet sounds and little whimpers that fell from her. 
Each press against her had his control slipping as he toyed with her by slowly inching more of him inside of her with each rock of his hips. He stretched her slowly as her cunt began throbbing around him each time he entered and pulled away. Teasing her folds, running his cock through her wetness before pressing back in and groaning as her whines became more vocal.
“Mmm please~.”
She whimpered breathlessly looking up at him, her hips rocking into his, only being stopped when he held her still causing her to almost want to cry. 
It was becoming too much. She needed something in her. Something to stop the incessant throbbing that was almost painful from the amount of teasing and waiting. Stop the wildfire that was burning in the pit of her stomach that was becoming uncontrollable at his point.
Staring up at him with pleading wet eyes, she was met with him giving her a heated look that had her breath hitching as if she could see all the things in his mind right now that he wanted to do to her. 
His gaze trapped her for a moment. Held her attention just enough so that when he finally gave her folds one last swipe before sheathing himself fully inside her with one thrust, he got to witness the way she fell apart. 
How her lips suddenly parted as a choked sob became silent as she felt him sink into her. How her eyes widened for a moment, her body tensing at the intrusion that had made its way into her.
The startled gasp became one elongated moan as her body accepted the intrusion of him. Throbbing and fluttering around him as he sank further into her making him groan as the spasms of her body massaged his cock.
Both of their breathing became uneven as he relished at how hot and wet she was. Enjoying how tightly her body wrapped around him, squeezing him and coaxing him inside. 
Pants filled the air as they both stilled, and he couldn’t help but appreciate the lustful sight of her beneath him. Lips parted, eyelids fluttering up at him with dilated pupils, and breath uneven while being full of cock. 
What was even better was how she lay there. Not resisting. Instead only moaning out and wiggling her hips downwards a little as she tried to press him deeper into her. Wanting to feel how good it could be if she could take all of him.
As much as he wanted to be gentle with her this time around, the thought of pounding her into the mattress was much more alluring as she twisted her body stimulating both of them. He could be gentle another day but right now, he wanted her writhing on his cock and begging him as she gave herself over willingly. 
Rocking his hips against hers at a steady pace, he pulled out of her completely before sinking himself completely back into her multiple times. Grinding his hips in small circles each time he entered her and pressing their hips closer.
Soft moans flew from her lips as she rocked her hips with his, chasing his cock each time he pulled out of her only to whimper out a soft ‘yes’ each time he sunk back inside stretching her completely. 
The amount of pleasure he was bringing her just by fucking her on his cock was insane. And when he began to speed up, burying himself deeper into her, it had her body tensing and clenching down wanting him to stay inside her longer with each thrust. 
Wet sounds of flesh slapping against each other filled the air alongside little whines that mingled with them whenever she felt him lean down to kiss her neck or cheek. 
Each time he would do this she could feel him sinking deeper into her and it had her gasping out, tightening her hold on him trying to draw him closer as waves of heat burned inside her.
Faster and faster his hips snapped, bullying the soft spot inside her that had her toes curling and stomach clenching with each stroke. The pleasure she felt from it was too much. Suffocating almost especially when she felt his hand begin to snake between them. 
She hadn’t paid any mind to his wandering hands too caught up in his cock filling her until the digits found what they had been looking for. With one harsh press against her clit, Snape began to rub tight circles around her causing her to choke and her hips to arch suddenly closing the distance.  And before she knew it a broken sob of,
“F-Faster!”
Fell from her lips wanting more of what he was giving to her as she shook and writhe. Her cry had his cock swelling, hardening even more inside of her and his hips stuttering for a second at how lusty she sounded. 
It surprised him only for a moment before he regained his rhythm thrusting, fingers leaving her pearl for a moment to gather the wetness that connected them before returning to the bead and rubbing it.
“Please faster it f-feels,” she gasped, feeling his fingers against her clit as it alternated between rubbing tight circles and pressing down on it causing her to almost choke on her words, “f-feels so, feels so!”
The words refused to come out instead a long moan took their place as he pressed deeper into her causing her breath to hitch.
“Feels what [Y/n]?” Snape hissed leaning down, pushing his cock further and further into her as his fingers continued to torture her clit. Her entire body convulsed at his touch as the throbbing of her insides became erratic and her mouth fell open even though no sound left her.  
“Tell me,” he crooned, snapping his hips against her again making her shout before it morphed into a half sob half moan as her legs wrapped around his waist dragging him closer to her. “Tell me tell me how it feels.”
“Feels good feels so good,” she squealed out as his hips began to increase in their rhythm. The sound of wet flesh meeting each other became louder and more intense as her cunt began to gush with her juices with each plunge of his cock inside her while his fingers played with her clit that felt incredibly tight and sensitive. 
Eyes rolling to the back of her head, her lips parted letting out streams of sobs and moans along with irregular puffs of air as her body began to wind itself up tight. Feeling the edge of her release come into view as he fucked her.
Amazed at just how ethereal she looked while drowning in pleasure, a tinge of excitement took hold of him at the thought of how she would look while coming on his cock. Coming undone on the man that had held her against her will until he wasn’t.
A loud groan tore from him at that thought, before he was snatching his hand away from her clit. Leaving her shaking and almost protesting before she was silenced with his lips smashing against hers and his pelvis tilting up just enough that it had her screaming into his mouth when he entered again. 
Caging her in with his arms, and laying his body fully on top of hers he relished at how she shook underneath him as he pounded into her. Drinking in her cries and stealing her breath with each thrust as her insides churned and churned with the stimulation. 
“You like that don’t you,” he rasped lowly, pulling away from her swollen lips and looking at her blissed out features as he continued to drag his cock in and out relentlessly. 
Kissing up her neck he began to nibble a trail up to her ear before whispering into it, voice low filled with lust and breathy from the exertion being put forth, “like how deep my cock is?” He moaned, puncturing the sentence with a slam of his hips into her causing her to squeal, digging her fingers into him. “Like how it’s taking care of you?”
“Yes! I-it’s so good!” She shrieked as waves of pleasure began to drown and overwhelm her as his cock dragged against her spongy spot with each plunge inside of her. 
“So good please,” her voice broke and her fingers clawed his shoulder trying to find something to moor her down as she babbled out desperately. 
“Please, gonna come please!”
[Y/n] wailed loudly, her body twitching around him, desperately sucking him in and holding him close each time he tried to pull away signaling her body was about to fall over that euphoric ledge he was leading her to.
“You’re going to come?” He gritted out hips pounding into her fast and hard no doubt going to leave bruises on her skin as he ripped sob after sob out of her. “I’ll let you come,” he hissed, eyes glinting as he watched her eyes fluttering and tears begin to drip down her face from the pleasure that was churning in her. “But I want to hear you scream my name when you do understand?”
The thought of disobeying never passed her mind, the only thing on it was the impending release that was bubbling up quickly and about to reach the point of no return. So she nodded furiously, eyes wide and body already trembling as he didn’t let up his pace.
“Yes! Yes! I’ll do whatever you want, I'll do it!” Her sobs were almost incomprehensible as she thrashed her head against the bed as if she were out of her mind. “Please, please, please!”
Moaning at her words, Snape latched his lips onto her neck and sucked at the skin pressing into her as he shoved a hand between where they were connected holding himself over her with one arm. 
His mouth moved next to her ear panting, “then come,” he growled fingers pressing her bead that had her choking out and hips canting upward meeting his thrust, “come on my cock, my good girl.”
It felt as if fireworks had been lit in her belly. Her cunt spasmed once twice, and then over and over unrelenting as his fingers rubbed tight harsh circles against her in the same rhythm of his thrusts. 
“Severus!” 
He didn’t stop as his name left her lips in a scream that had him groaning out loud at the sound of it. No, he kept thrusting into her ignoring the way she sobbed and shook underneath as he abused her oversensitive cunt. 
Ignoring how she choked his name out saying it like a prayer as she looked at him with eyes glistening with tears and parted lips that were swollen and wet.
“Severus! S-Severus!” 
[Y/n] sobbed, not able to form any other coherent words or thoughts. All that was in her mind was him. How his fingers stayed on her clit, playing with the oversensitive bead as he continued to rail into her forcing her body to begin its climb to another orgasm just after the one she had.
It didn’t take long either for her to get there as his cock began to throb inside of her and his thrusts became sloppy yet still digging deep into her until the shout of her name rang around the room.
“[Y/n]!”
The sound of her name vibrated in the air as he slammed his lips harshly against hers in a desperate kiss. When he emptied himself inside her she could only moan into his mouth as he released inside her. Feeling his hot seed coating her and flooding her insides had her spasming again, causing a choked noise to leave her and her mind to blank as another orgasm hit her. 
The lack of oxygen from him kissing her had her feeling dizzy almost as if she was having an out of body experience. Her entire body quaked and she couldn’t control the moans and whimpers that escaped her as he stilled himself inside her. 
Cunt spasming and throbbing around him all she could feel was how warm she was. How wet and slick her insides felt as it pulsed from the unrelenting fucking that she had endured. 
Arms wrapping around her and pulling her close to him, it felt like an eternity passed before her body started to come down from the euphoric bliss that he had caused her to spiral down. 
Her eyes were wide open as she stared up at the ceiling, heavy pants becoming quiet whimpers as she tugged herself closer to him ignoring the stickiness and weight of him still in her. 
The high of having such an intense orgasm left her body high strung and needing the weight and comfort of another to calm her as wave after wave of emotions began to hit her.
Cooing at her actions, Severus kissed her cheek, wrapping his arms around her and just letting her be underneath him with her shivering form and her eyes closing before any tears could fall out of them. 
She didn’t know how much time had passed, or when she had fallen asleep. But when she reopened her eyes, darkness was the only thing that greeted her vision. A blanket was pulled over her preventing the chill from reaching her and the feeling of being cleaned was evident.
Her body, still weighed down from Severus' grip on her, was unmoving as her mind began to replay the moments that had led her up to this moment. How she laid underneath him, let him use her, even begged for it, begged for him to use her. 
And it felt good. It felt so good. He had taken care of her like he said he would, hadn’t hurt her and it was blissful for a split second as when she was rocked with her orgasm all she felt was relaxed bliss. 
The tears that rolled down her cheek went unnoticed as she clenched her eyes shut as her mind continued to replay it over and over.  In her spiral, she doesn’t capture the way her fingers grasp onto his nightshirt and how she pressed herself close to him with each passing thought. Nor did she register the sensation of his hand lightly pressing into her back. 
No, her mind was too caught up in something else. Caught up in the answer she had been too afraid of to admit out loud. It had been there much earlier than she wanted to believe. But it had been there floating around flashing every time something happened. 
Because if it was to save her, to keep her from becoming more damaged, from being lonely, or even dying. Then selfish, or not there had only been one answer from the start:
To give in.
A/N: Well well well if that wasn't a rollercoaster idk what is lol. I hope this chapter turned out okay and I do admit I had a hard time with it because the plot was not trying to plot but it is done and I'm not mad at it and I hope you guys aren't either :)!!!
Also, shout out to @renee561 for listening to me scream and complain about this chapter while also making me sprint for my life to get it done asap. Thank you, friend!!!
And thank you guys for reading this even though it took me a hot minute to write it! As usual, leave your thoughts (and if you see any errors) ^o^ and I hope to see you in the next chapter! (Which will not be nearly as plot focused as this so if you're just wanting a lot of smut that next one is for u 😘 whenever she writes it....)
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tangerinesgf · 1 year
Text
You Look Happier Pt.1
Tangerine x fem!reader (although gender isn’t specified until part 2)
Summary: Tangerine left because he thought you’d be better off without him, but neither of you really moved on.
Disclaimer: English is not my first language. It’s not proofread/ beta’d so any mistakes are my own.
Tags/warnings: angst, language, mentions of blood, slight jealousy, no happy ending?
A/N: While I finish the last things on my Mute Tangerine fic (which I hope to post this week) have this little fic. Also I’m still working on my requests but you can’t force creativity. Love ya’ll and enjoy!!
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Two years. That’s how long it had been. Exactly two years since Tangerine had broke your heart and left your life forever. All under the presumption that you ‘deserved better’. That no matter how much he loved you, it could never live up to the danger he was putting you in. 
You had told him that you didn’t care, but he wouldn’t listen. 
“Tan, please don’t.” You were basically on your knees begging him to stay as he started to pack up his stuff at your place. 
“It would be better if you stayed away from me. What I have to offer is no life, love.” 
‘Love.’ Even now when he was about to leave he still called you that. And after everything it still made your heart melt. 
Tangerine walked towards the door, bag in his hand. He could only open the door halfway before you grabbed his wrist to pull him back in.
“I don’t care, I want it. I want you.”  There was a slight spark of faith in your eyes, hoping that he would change his mind. 
But no. He shook his head and pulled his wrist out of your weak grasp on it. All you could do was stand there and watch him leave. Being with him was the happiest you had been in a long long time and now he was just leaving. Like it was the easiest decision he’s ever made.
Before he closed the door, Tangerine looked into your eyes one last time. He really thought he was doing the right thing, you could see it in his eyes. 
“Goodbye.” he said as he closed the door behind him.
As he left you tried to follow but were only met with a closed door. You turned your back to it and sank to the floor. Pulling your knees up to your chest as the tears that were threatening at the corners of your eyes finally made their way down your face. Eventually the exhaustion of crying all day crept up on you and you fell asleep against the door. 
It had taken a long time to get over him. You had been crying for days, trying to reach him in any way, but he had cut off all forms of contact. After that came a phase of anger. Throwing out anything that reminded you of him. Pictures of the two of you, clothes he used to say were his favorite, gifts he'd given you (stolen and paid for). It all went on the same pile of trash and was thrown out not even an hour later after collecting it. 
After that life started to fall back in it’s normal rhythm. You even started dating again after a while.
About a year after he left you, you met Richard. He was simple, has a normal job as a lawyer. There was no killing involved, no coming home covered in blood or having to leave you for days, even weeks at a time not knowing if he’d come back. 
Richard was the perfect man and although you did truly love each other, he could never seem to fill the hole that was left in your heart. 
Richard was working late at the office tonight. You usually stayed up to wait for him, but your own job had been draining lately you so you decided to get an early night in. 
You were just about to get into bed when you heard a knock on the door. Richard had keys so he wouldn’t have to knock and you weren’t expecting any visitors, not at this hour. You decided to ignore it, hoping the person would take the hint and leave. 
They didn’t. 
A minute later there was another, louder knock, or well they were basically just banging on your door at this point. Finally you gave in and walked to the front door. Before you could even look through the little peephole there was a voice calling out your name from the other side of the door. 
You froze.
You’d recognize that British accent anywhere, even after all this time. 
For a moment you hesitated. Should you open the door? You could just pretend you weren’t home and hope he would leave you alone. But part of you also wanted to know why he was here. Once again letting curiosity take the best of you, you opened the door. 
It really was him. His hair was not slicked back as usual, but had fallen back into its natural curly state. His suit was all wrinkled up and cuts and bruises littered his body. There was one particularly bad gash on his arm that drew your attention. That would definitely need stitches.
But despite the fact that he looked terrible, you could still see the man you fell in love with all this time ago. 
“I didn’t know where else to go.” Tangerine stared down at the floor, avoiding eye-contact with you. He knew he had no right to be here asking for your help, but right now he really didn’t have a lot of other options. 
You debated if you should let him in or not. You knew he didn’t deserve to, not after what he did, but when he looked like that you couldn’t find it in your heart to turn him away. 
You stepped aside and gestured for him to come in. You felt the hesitation in his movements, unsure of what to do.
"You can sit there." You said pointing at the chairs around the dinner table. "I'll grab the first aid."
As you grabbed it out of the bathroom you looked at yourself in the mirror.
This was wrong and you knew it. But you couldn't just leave him there looking like that. Fuck. How dare he come back just like that, as if you would just throw everything aside to help him. The worst thing is that you would. In fact, you just did. 
After taking a few deep breaths you made your way back to Tangerine, who was still patiently waiting where you’d told him to. It was strange to see him here, it felt familiar, but also weirdly out of place.
You moved to sit next to him, placing the first aid kit on the table. 
You fell into a routine that felt way too familiar. You had sat here in the exact spot patching him up a hundred times before and for a moment it felt like nothing had changed. 
“This is gonna sting.” you said just loud enough for him to hear. Disinfecting an open wound was never fun and since he wasn’t looking you might as well warn him.
“I’ve had worse.”
It’s true, he’s definitely had worse. That didn’t mean this wasn’t gonna hurt like a bitch though.
It felt different. You could see on his face he was in fact not enjoying this at all, but normally he would just cuss the building together. Right now he was just sitting there silently, almost restrained from doing anything that might set you off.   
He let out a sigh of relief when you finally finished.
Tangerine still didn’t make eye-contact the entire time while stitching him up. Though you could see him flinch every time the needle sunk back into his skin. You had asked him about it. He’d told you that matter how many times he went through this, he could never get used to it. Although it wasn’t so bad when it was you doing the stitching.
You finished up by bandaging his arm, preventing him from ripping the stitches, god knows he’s done it before. After collecting everything you used you walked over to the kitchen sink.
In the meantime Tangerine had apparently gotten a new sense of confidence and starting strolling around in your apartment. As you were washing his blood off your hands you could see him take in everything that had changed since he left. You knew he noticed all the things he had given you were gone. 
He stopped at the photos of you and your current boyfriend in the same place his used to stand. He knew it was his own fault, but Tangerine couldn't help but feel bitter about it. 
He picked up the picture of you and Richard at the beach last summer. You were staring into each others eyes like you were lovestruck. It made him sick to his stomach. That should have been him.
"You look happier." He said turning to face you, finally making direct eye-contact with you.
There was a beat of silence as the two of you stared at each other. He tried to force some sort of smile on his face, pretending to be happy for you. Like he actually believed you were better off without each other.
"I'm not." You face was expressionless as you grabbed the first aid kit to put it back in the bathroom cabinet. When you came back he'd put the photo down and was staring directly at your form, the sudden intensity in his eyes completely catching off guard.
"Look I-"
"Don't, Tan, just don't." You cut him off.
He was taken back by the sharpness of your voice. As fast as that wave of confidence found him, it was gone again. You’d never talked to him like that before.
"You needed help, I helped, that's it."
"Right." he mumbled. 
"So..you can leave now, my boyfriend will be home soon."
You felt a bit guilty rubbing your new boyfriend in his face like that, but in the end it was his choice to leave and you had moved on. It’s not your fault he hadn’t.
"Your boyfriend.. yeah." He sighed, for a moment he hesitated but finally grabbed his suit-jacket and made his way over to your front door.
Before he walked out he turned around one more time. "Thank you, you didn't ‘ave to that." He hadn’t even expected to get past your front door, yet here was leaving it again.
"It's okay." was all you said, what else was there to say.
He slowly nodded, but didn’t move yet. For a moment you just stood there, looking at each other. Old memories running through your head, about how you stood here in the exact same position two years ago. Only now it was you telling him to leave.
"Goodbye, Tan."
And then he was gone again. You choked out a breath and brought your hands up to your face, holding it. Fuck.
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A/N: part 2???? I loved this idea so much, I wrote it in about 2 hours, hope ya’ll liked it too!
Taglist: @venusthepirate @bratdoll666  @assmaster37 @wrendermeuseless @waiting4ff @kpopgirlbtssvt​ (let me know if you want to be added or removed)
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aangarchy · 8 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/the-badger-mole/728723354757054464/how-would-you-improve-aangs-writing what are your thoughts??
So i'm not gonna keep reading this post bc it is tagged anti aang, anti kataang and a bunch of other tags i have personally blocked bc i do not like seeing posts that are actively hating on my favorite characters. Idk why you chose to send me something that is anti aang, when i am clearly an aang positive blog. Surely you're just trying to antagonize me.
I did read the first paragraph and let me tell you, boy is that blogger wrong. The question they were asked is how would you change the show's writing.
"In a word...accountability.
Aang, despite his own personal losses, never seems to grasp the gravity of the war. Season 1 would be more or less the same, but season 2 would open with him grappling with his part in the siege of the North. He would acknowledge that he was part of the reason a lot of people died that day, and it would lead into him confronting somethings about his duty, and eventually make him take his powers as the Avatar more seriously."
This is verbatim what happens in the show. The literal first episode of season 2, Aang has nightmares about him in the Avatar State. He hates feeling out of control, he's terrified of what he could do, how much damage he could cause. That's why when general Fong offers to help him master the Avatar State, Aang agrees. Fong also manipulated him, showing him wounded soldiers to tap into his empathy and get him to agree. Aang at this point understands the gravity of the war. He saw it first hand at the North Pole. Even at the seige of the north itself, Aang takes accountability for the state of the world before the battle even starts: "I wasn't there when the fire nation attacked the air temples. I'm gonna make a difference this time." Also: "he would acknowledge he was part of the reason a lot of people died that day" what at the battle of the north pole?? If anyone is responsible for the amount of death in that battle (which we don't have actual numbers of bc this is a kid's show, we know of One official death and that's Yue) it's the Fire Nation. Aang was on the defensive and fused with the Ocean Spirit while in the Avatar State. Why would he have to acknowledge or take accountability for that?
The rest of the post i just scanned over, but it was a whole lot of mumbo jumbo about Aang not deserving Katara, changing the writing so Katara would not reciprocate Aang's feelings (lol) and saying Aang should have to "work" for the Lion Turtle, as in like actively trying to find it i guess instead of it showing up like some sort of jesus?
The problem with the whole lion turtle thing is in Aang's time according to the wiki, lion turtles are supposed to be extinct. The one Aang comes across is the last one. There is no way Aang could have known that this 10.000yr old (probably older) creature was alive and willing to grant him the power of energy bending. The lion turtle came to find Aang by itself. It looked for Aang and lured him onto his back, to take Aang to the place of the final battle, and to give him the spiritual guidance he needed. Again idk how lion turtles work, are they creatures are they spirits, some secret third thing maybe (again, jesus? Idk). But they might be able to feel Aang's unrest about his destiny somehow, since the Avatar is half spirit.
Either way, i personally feel like the lion turtle is less of a deus ex machina than people are making it out to be, since the existence of lion turtles was foreshadowed in book 2, and since Aang did still have to "work" to take Ozai's bending, aka the whole "your own energy needs to be unbendable" which was still nearly Aang's undoing. He still had to fight Ozai mentally in order to overtake him, and that showed the real growth in Aang's character.
The entire post that Anon just linked is basically someone saying "i don't wike it" and changing everything up to make it arguably worse lol. Again, i think the goal was to antagonize me but whatever.
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beelsbignaturals · 10 months
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🦂DEMON FORMS: ASMODEUS 💄
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AN: Unfortunately, the concept of hypnosis is a major theme for my OCD so I can't really write him as creepy as I want to. Alas, I tried. Fucked up Asmo supremacy. also I was tryna keep this sfw in terms of *spicy* content bc thats for a different post hehehe. As always, feel free to check out my obey me world building tag for more demon headcanons and since con is over I can work on requests!
Inspiration for this part: literally everyone who has ever drawn Asmo with a scorpion tail like he DESERVES also @noecoded bc they have the BEST Asmo art ever. Also @princessasmosprincess has been such a major help in writing this! ily Michi 😘 thank u for letting me pick ur brain bby
TWs: Bugs (scorpions), mind manipulation, alcohol (part 4), vauge reference to nsfw stuff (part 3), demons being demons, body horror? Maybe?
● Level 1.5. you know, in the Percy Jackson books, how Aphrodite appears as whatever you think is most beautiful? Asmo is kinda like that. Not fully, but if you are more attracted to say, dark hair, he will have darker hair. (Cute note: if you fall in love with him for realsies, this stops happening, and you just see. Him.) Like Belphie, he is alot more… mental with how he freaks people out. Even without hypnotism, if he asks you to do something, you feel like you want to agree. Only Asmo can make you think taking out the garbage when it's his turn is YOUR idea. He glows under blacklights because… scorpion. His teeth look normal from a distance, but up close, you can see how sharp they are. His eyes shift through every possible color, changing each time he blinks. His pupils are heart shaped. He gets cold really easily and will make it everyone's problem.
"MC! I'm going to freeze to death, please, save me!" The overly dramatic Avatar of Lust drapes himself across your lap, intent of using you as a personal space heater. Nights in the Devildom just get so cold! His poor, beautiful heart can't handle the subzero temperatures! And of course the last argument between Levi and Mammon managed to complete destroy the heating system. So it's your solemn duty as Asmo's favorite human (don't tell Solomon) to keep him warm!
● Level 2. His nails get longer and sharper, and even when talking, it sounds like he's singing. If he actually starts singing, you will find yourself dancing or lulled into a false sense of security depending on the song. He actually caused the dancing plague this way! He is capable of using his carapace as a sort of natural corset, controlling each segment to give himself the desired silhouette. Somehow, Asmo is wonderful at knowing exactly what you desire. Not just in a sexual way, he can figure out your ambitions after one conversation. If he decides to talk to you, everything else will kind of...fade away. How can you focus on anything when his eyes fade from pink to purple to blue... What were you talking about again?
Asmo thought the house was empty, that it was safe for him to sing without consequence. Unfortunately, you came home early, which led to the awkward incident where you began dancing the moment you walked inside. At first, you thought you were hit by some curse, screaming in surprise as your body moves on its own. Hearing your shrieks, Asmo rushes downstairs, fussing over you. Luckily, you weren't under his spell long, so when he stopped singing, you stopped dancing. He was very apologetic after that.
● Level 3. He grows several extra limbs on his sides. They are small little insect legs that are basically useless. He likes to annoy his brothers by tickling them with his weird lil bug arms. But otherwise, Asmo is EXTREMELY self conscious about them because bugs aren't stereotypically cute. He can keep his wings bc they are cute. BUT HE ALSO HAS A SCORPION TAIL. The stinger is heart-shaped. It's adorable. It also has venom capable of making you so horny you die! Which is... slightly less adorable.
It was quite the sight, seeing Asmo, shirtless with several small arachnid limbs, covered in a hard exoskeleton as he chases Satan around the house, claiming he needs to be less grumpy. Satan threw a pillow at his brother, causing you to laugh. Bad move. Now Asmo has locked his eyes on his next target. You.
● Level 4. You know how so many Greek monsters are giant creatures with the face of a beautiful woman? That's Asmo. He has the body of a scorpion-if a scorpion was the size of a horse - and face so gorgeous, you might cry or go blind. He sings so sweetly to lure in prey. Basically, he's a siren-scorpion monster from hell! He usually won't take this form because, honestly, he thinks it's ugly. So for the most part you are only going to see a scorpion with Asmo's face scuttling around if he is feeling particularly emotional. Like when he gets a little bit too tipsy and his insecurities plague his mind.
It was rare Asmo would get properly drunk. At least the type of drunk where he is miserable. Usually it's a very... drunk girl in the club bathroom who just LOOOVES your shoes and wants to know who did your eyelash extensions 🥺 sort of energy. So hearing straight up wailing from his room after a long night at the Fall was...unexpected. What was even more surprising, was what you found when you opened his door to try and comfort the demon. A large scorpion with the head of the Avatar of Lust, standing in front of a broken mirror with mascara streaming down his face. You only hesitate a moment before making your presence known. Asmo starts to cry more, sobbing about how terrible he feels having you see him like this. In the form that he considers the definition of ugly. You are quick to reassure him, naming each thing you find beautiful about his more demonic looking self. Like the way his armored body catches the light, reflecting rainbows across each segment. Or how his stinger is heart shaped. Or the fact that even without proper hands, his hair and makeup is still flawless. Aside from minor damage due to his tears. Soon enough, you have a giant scorpion sleeping on your lap like an overgrown cat. You decide not to mention it in the morning.
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nancydrewwouldnever · 6 months
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When you mentioned Albert posted only one of her movies - I’ve felt for a while now, since basically she got a little fame, that she’s now thinking she’s too “big” for her home country stuff.
Her showing up to the ghosted premiere (which btw why? She didn’t do anything except look like she played dress up in a thrift store) but ignoring every other single movie premiere or promo she had last year, never sat right with me.
I had my doubts about her intentions, and wanted to reserve judgment because I did feel people were projecting too much negativity on her.
But that solidified it for me. She actually has quite a few projects that released between last year and this year and she never did any work to promote or even show up to support with her costars for any of them except the one mrs Harris premiere. And it was in NYC. She didn’t go to the one in Paris which would have made more sense - but it’s felt to me for months that she goes where the bigger chance for clout is, and that’s just the kind of person she is.
For someone who hasn’t been known in this industry for very long at all, she IMO has not hustled or had to one bit. The way she treated her WN show and cast - also left a bad taste for me.
This has nothing to do with her friends or who she married. This is just my issue with her as a person.
Last year when the dating rumors really started to peak around February (right after the Vegas stuff), ppl were watching her IG movements and she had a film premiere at a Europe festival. The premiere happened and all the cast showed up to promote and work the media duties except her. She did a random zoom with CNN PT - and everyone assumed she was hiding in ATL with CE. Her background was white so there was no way to tell where she could be.
I remember thinking, if it was true and she chose to hide out in the US (stay at home? His house? Who knows) OR even just hide out in her own house in PT to play into a narrative, instead of promoting her own work, this girl legit fumbled the bag before she even got it.
It’s people like this that I don’t feel deserve the attention they get. It’s a shame because there are so many better talents and harder working, more willing to hustle, and more willing to climb the ladder - that could have been the promotion opportunities she got. It’s really a damn shame.
Okay, I really don't want to post about her, because I have no interest in giving her the attention, but you took all that time to write all that out. To me it's been very clear since last year that she no longer has any interest in doing any promo for any of her Portuguese language films, only her new English language films/projects. If you hadn't thought that before, it became very clear this week when she posted about an English language project being released next year instead of the Portuguese language film being released now. It's a very stark comparison when you look at Joana, who puts the same amount of effort into promoting all her jobs/projects, regardless of the language or where they were filmed. I suppose she's decided she's moving on to another phase of her career, which is more Hollywood/International based, but it still leaves one with a certain impression of ingratitude for all the people who gave her jobs when she was starting out.
And, no, let's not start talking about her here, please.
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