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#thetourguidebarbie
honestgrins · 2 months
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kc + caroline has MANY complaints about klaus but her biggest one is that the only time he responds to her follow up emails is to ask whether something is illegal
Per My Last Email || Klaroline
Weirdly canon-esque, and I have no defense. But we all know Klaus would be Caroline's neediest client.
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Dear Mr. Mikaelson:
Per the agreement you signed, my services have been retained for legal representation on your accumulated traffic tickets ONLY. Please note that these emails fall under attorney-client privilege, but you should still avoid excessive details that would test my standing as an officer of the court. I trust that you will respect my professional boundaries, as difficult as that will be for you. To make sure I have all the relevant information at hand, please forward me the details of your current ID, vehicle descriptions, and all license numbers. 
As your court date is tomorrow, please respond as soon as possible. Otherwise, I would highly recommend paying your tickets before 9 a.m. via the online portal. My retainer fee, however, is nonrefundable.
ID, vehicle descriptions, and license numbers, ASAP.
Best,
Caroline Forbes Salvatore
Attorney, MF Group
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Sweetheart, settle a bet for me. Kol insists his baseball bat is considered a deadly weapon, but surely it's just the force with which he can wield the bat that makes it deadly - therefore, its presence alone cannot be considered "assault with a deadly weapon."
A speedy answer would be appreciated, I just noticed the local bar installed a security camera that may limit your legal arguments after the fact.
x
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And don't think I didn't notice the "Salvatore" in your signature. 
I did.
x
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Dear Mr. Mikaelson,
My married name is registered with the state bar association and a matter of public record. In fact, my ability to practice in Louisiana is predicated on the fact that "Caroline Forbes Salvatore" holds a valid law degree and active license. If you have a problem with that, please feel free to retain other representation.
That said, I do want to remind you that I may advise on hypothetical legal scenarios, but will not abet any illegal activity such as assault with a deadly weapon. The threatening manner in which you imply your brother might wield a baseball bat, hypothetically, would be enough to enhance any assault charges possibly caught on camera.
As your lawyer, I don't recommend putting these hypotheticals in writing, and I really don't recommend letting Kol loose on New Orleans with a bat. Hypothetically, the whole city has cameras and it's a miracle certain activities haven't come to light. Yet.
Since you failed to send me the necessary details before your court date, I asked Elijah. You're welcome for getting the parking tickets dismissed, by the way, even though your behavior in court was detrimental to your case. The judge was not amused by your sense of humor, and neither was I. To prevent a repeat performance, I would suggest storing your luxury sports car in your massive compound instead of literally the middle of a pedestrian plaza. Just a thought.
Elijah has also taken care of your court fees and my incidentals since I had to void your last payment. Next time, please just pay the invoice. You don't tip your lawyer.
Best, 
Caroline Forbes Salvatore
Attorney, MF Group
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Love - quick question. Rebekah is throwing a bit of a tantrum and stole the doppelgänger blood I had stored. Is this a civil suit situation, or can I press criminal charges? Honestly, I think she'd have a lark in prison, but I think the inconvenience would be consequence enough for her to feel my ire.
x
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Mr. Mikaelson,
Again, I'm sure this is a hypothetical situation where your sister, who lives in your shared family domicile and therefore has rights to whatever is stored inside, takes something of no actual value, such as human blood stored for medical study and nothing else, then - hypothetically - a grown man with substantial resources like yourself can surely see that neither a civil suit nor criminal charges would be wise to file. None of those details of a...supernatural...sort would belong in the public record.
Not to mention, sending your sister to prison would only get me and several other people killed.
Hypothetically.
Seriously, I'm too busy for this, and I'm not even on retainer anymore. I will be sending Elijah an invoice for this email communication.
Best,
Caroline Forbes Salvatore
Attorney, MF Group
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I've wired a retainer fee directly to your account. And since you're on the payroll, I have some paperwork to go through. Working dinner? I'll buy.
x
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Caroline: Klaus, you cannot send me a million dollars in a personal check. 
Klaus: Clearly, I can. Dinner?
Caroline: ...
Caroline: ...
Klaus: I'm thinking Italian. 
Caroline: If you think this counts as a retainer fee, I do not have the time to explain how wrong you are, but I will if I have to. To be clear, that is a threat, and you know I will follow through, complete with slide deck and appendices. If you would indeed like to retain my services for the family, Elijah and I have already worked through an initial contract with LIMITS, you absolute ass. All official business will go through him, I swear, or you will regret it. 
Caroline: Again, that is a threat.
Klaus: So, see you at eight?
Caroline: ...
Caroline: I'm donating the money you sent.
Caroline: But yeah, Italian sounds good.
Klaus: Change your email signature.
Caroline: Don't push it.
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cbk1000 · 8 months
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Fandom Creator's Self-Rec Game!
Choose five favourites from your own creations (and tell me why, if you like!), then pass on to at least five other people. I'd love to hear what you're proudest of.
Tagged by @the-pen-pot and actually I think @anonymintea also tagged me a while back? I vaguely remember seeing that in my activity and kind of recoiling at the idea of trying to rec my own stuff. lmfao But I have time to sit down and do it now and I am being so brave. I am just going to rec Merlin fics for this post, since that's what I've been working on and thinking about for the last four years or so, and those fics are the ones that are fresh in my mind. (Honourable mention goes to my Originals series, though, because I spent so much time on that sumabitch.)
All right, five favourites...know that this is excruciating for me and feels very cringe, because I am not normal. lmao
And Down the River's Dim Expanse (Merthur, 13k)
In which Arthur is a water spirit who tries to drown Merlin. Merlin is not impressed.
(This one feels like it kind of just disappeared into the morass of words I've vomited up on the topic of BBC Merlin. I don't think it's got nearly as much attention as any of my other fics, but I'm fond of it because I love fairytales and folklore and specifically anything to do with any kind of creature that lives in the water and especially if said creature tries to drown people. I'd love to do something like this again and have several ideas for fairytales to adopt (i.e. twist completely out of shape).
The Book of Merthur (Merthur, 600k+)
'It was awkward business to ignore a man sitting the length of one knee from you, especially when he had such voluminous ears, and though Arthur made a valiant attempt at it, he had soon to abandon this in favour of grousing at Merlin for a myriad of grievous transgressions, the most pressing of which was his manner of sitting far too close, as if they were mates. This shortcoming was to become a theme when they laid down after passing round a hard cheese and some bread, Merlin in Arthur’s cloak, and Arthur in nothing at all, because his was the greater constitution; and whilst Arthur was working himself into the choicest bit of ground, with the least stones, Merlin suddenly rolled over, mummified within the cloak Arthur’s thoughtfulness had provided, and put his nose into Arthur’s neck.'
The 'yes homo' we all deserved, righting the heterosexual wrongs of canon.
(My thus far 646,363-word essay on the issues I have with canon. I'm eight chapters from the end and already feeling that post-huge-project depression even though I have several ideas for what I want to do next. I really love writing historical fiction and have incorporated that into fics before, but this fic has shown me that I really really love writing fantasy heavily inspired by history: it's the same amount of research, with the added bonus that I can do whatever the hell I want. Also, as mentioned in my first rec, I really love fairytales and folklore, and this gives me the chance to incorporate them in a way that straight up historical fiction doesn't allow. Basically, this fic has allowed me to shove my boner for Arthurian legend and medieval history down people's throats at the same time. Ain't free gay fanfiction where I can do what I like great?)
Fools by Heavenly Compulsion (Merthur, ?k)
In which Arthur is gay and besotted, Merlin is bisexual and oblivious, and they have to get their shit together through WhatsApp.
(I have no idea how many words this technically is, because it's comprised entirely of screenshots of fake social media posts. I've read a few social media fics and enjoyed them and got a whole bug up my ass wanting to try it. I thought it would be an interesting challenge because it would take away so many things that a writer can usually rely on to tell a story, and for me specifically it would completely cut me off from any kind of descriptive writing. So basically I cut off all my limbs except like one arm and decided to see how I got on with that. And it HAS been really interesting to try and shape a narrative through texts and Instagram and twitter posts and still try and convey emotions and distinct personalities with such limitations on what I can actually show. It's also a lot of fun putting the posts together, although you can definitely fall down a deep rabbit hole of trying to pick just the right photo.)
Whereat the Two Sword on the Field of Death a Deathless Love (Merthur, 131k)
In a land of myth and a time of magic, the destiny of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young boy. But not quite in the way you think. 'The Once and Future King'/Merlin mashup; now with 50% more gay.
(This was the first Merlin fic I ever wrote, and an homage to one of my favourite books. It was also me trying to get the show rewrite monkey off my back and distinctly failing at that, since I went on to write one that is over 600,000 words and still not complete. It's also proof that I am 100% capable of rewriting the show in under 150k, I just chose to inflict over 600,000 words on anyone insane enough to sit down and read a 600k gay porn version of BBC Merlin.)
And Time and the World Are Ever in Flight (Merthur, 39k)
In which Arthur returns to the 21st century, learns about Google, and finally realises his dream of running away to a farm with Merlin.
(Listen, the finale damaged me, I'm still damaged, and I tried to undo it with nearly 40k of tea and baby sheep. A.K.A. the one where Arthur returns and they run a sheep farm in Ireland together and finally figure out they're gay for each other and neither of them is alone ever again.)
Tagging @aemelia (you will have to rec all of yours lmao) @kirythestitchwitch @thetourguidebarbie and anyone else who wants to do this and has multiple fics.
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purplesigebert · 8 months
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Fic Rec Friday!!!!
Week #13 - my 4th post
Chapter 33 of Their Thing(s) by @thetourguidebarbie
1. Klaroline are soulmates. Takes place during 5x11 2. Klaus gives Caroline a necklace to remember him by. Also takes place during/after 5x11
Ok so, ALL of Their Thing(s) is amazing (please, please, PLEASE, go read it if you haven't already) but chapter 33 is my personal favourite and I cannot tell you how many times I have read it.
There are two drabbles featured and they are both perfect.
I love the soulmate trope and this was such an ingenious way of doing it. Werewolf mates finding each other through marks on their bodies, in a language that is unique to their species. Caroline assumes that Klaus' mate must have died centuries ago.... who's going to tell her? There is also claiming smut.
The second drabble takes place after Caroline's confession, during some pillow(leaf?)talk. One of the myriad of Klaus' necklaces is a dog tag. Which he got "because he wanted one," sigh oh Klaus.
As you can see, Angie never disappoints.
My favourite part of the drabble (lives rent free in my mind [in really needs to start paying my internet bill]):
"You weren't born in 1982, though," she said, cocking her head to the side, the question implied. "982," he said promptly. "May, so Taurus? Right?" she asked, grinning. He frowned. "Err-No. Not that it actually means anything, because in my vast amount of experience, it truly doesn't, but I'm a Capricorn." "May Fifth, though." He shook his head. "Fifth of January, love. The American calendar system is abnormal." "You're abnormal," she mumbled, elbowing him lightly
Ugh, you see!? It's so good that it hasn't left my head, and my bookmarks page, since 2015.
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Klaroline Autumn Exchange 2023 Master-list
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Who Put Bella Down the Wych Elm? by @stars-and-darkness-main for @averseunhinged
Blowback by @lalainajanes for @megdalorians
in vain she wills, to run, swim, walk, creep/ the will presides not in the bower of sleep by @the-road-betwixt for @morningstargirl666
Persistence of Memory by @helpless-in-sleep for @stars-and-darkness-main
Consequences of the Dead by @bellemorte180 for @definedareasofuncertainty
I looked around in a blood-soaked gown (and saw something they can't take away) by @purplesigebert for @lynyrdwrites
'Til Death Do Us Part by @lynyrdwrites for @thetourguidebarbie
double, double, toil and trouble by @morningstargirl666 for @lalainajanes
I swallow the sea, which swallows me by @definedareasofuncertainty for @supremeuppityone
throw my heart off the edge by @impossiblekryptonitecolor for @the-road-betwixt
After Last Time by @queencarolinemikaelson for @impossiblekryptonitecolor
and all that I've learned is everything burns by @averseunhinged for @purplesigebert
Without Fear or Foe-vor by @supremeuppityone for @kiaraalexisklay
Sweater Weather by @kiaraalexisklay for @queencarolinemikaelson
OR
Full list on A03 here
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hellsbellschime · 5 months
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So, ya girl has the worst luck in the world and thus my expectations for shit in my life going right are quite low. But like three months ago I got a letter from the IRS saying that I hadn't paid my taxes yet, which wasn't true, and I double-checked with my bank to make sure and yes, there was an 8k withdrawal from my account in April from the IRS. But then I get another letter, saying that I still haven't paid and my bank assets may be seized in order to pay my tax bill, so I'm like okayyy what the fuck. Obviously, call the IRS, don't get through, call the tax advocacy service, and they're like okay well I don't know why your taxes are coming up unpaid, but once you get in touch with someone from the IRS it should be fine.
So I call again yesterday and finally get in touch with someone, and she is also like oh that's weird I can see that we took money from you but it still says you owe that so WTF. So she does her IRS thing and puts me on hold for ages and FINALLY comes back and says oh, so your tax filing in April was a pre-payment for what you expect to owe in 2023, meaning that you haven't paid 2022's taxes yet. So I'm like okay A. I paid H&R Block to do my taxes and definitely did not say do not pay this year's taxes but pay taxes for the fucking future, and B. the money is there and I have clearly paid so can that money just be used for my 2022 taxes as it was obviously intended?
So once again she puts me on hold and after another 10 minutes comes back and is like yeah sorry no, because you're self-employed and you qualify for tax prepayment I can't change that money to go towards your 2022 taxes. So I'm like okayyyyyyyy, so what does that mean then? And she's like well, you have to pay 2022s taxes. And I'm like okay BITCH (that part was in my head) I did but y'all jabronis said I was prepaying for 2023 which is some shit I've never even heard of, so what now? And she was like yeah I'm sorry I can't do anything but if you don't want to accrue more interest and penalties then you need to pay that 8k bill ASAP and I'm like BITCH ARE YOU NUTS YOU ARE LOOKING AT MY TAX RETURNS WHAT GIVES YOU THE IMPRESSION THAT I JUST HAVE ANOTHER $8,000 ON HAND TO PAY MY TAXES TWICE.
So obviously I had a near aneurysm and @thetourguidebarbie was like call H&R Block NOW which I did, and I have an appointment to speak to them in like half an hour which is GREAT because I just opened my mail and my FINAL NOTICE OF BANK SEIZURE was in my mailbox. And, if I can't get this resolved then I am at risk of not being able to get my EV tax credit for 2023, which means that not only will I have double-paid my taxes this year, but my bank account will suddenly be empty, and would also mean that I LITERALLY LOSE OUT ON $7,500 BECAUSE SOME IDIOT SOMEWHERE DECIDED THAT PREPAYING MY TAXES WAS A THING.
So I'm going to sit here and stress eat for the next half hour and tell myself that there has to be a reasonable solution to this problem because in a country of 300 plus million people I can't be the only person that this has happened two and obviously a lot of people don't have money on hand to pay twice as much as they were expecting to, but it would be nice if shit in my life could just be easy for once. Oh and also in case it wasn't clear, do not hire H&R Block to do your taxes because I have always done my taxes before and had no problems and this was the first year I actually paid someone else to do it and they completely fucked it up even BEFORE I found out all of this shit.
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bellemorte180 · 4 months
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WIP Ask Game
Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.
Tagged by: @kirythestitchwitch CALL ME OUT WHY DON'T YOU.
JAF
LRH
300
EoS
Machiavellian
victorian incest ghost story
sex party
bachelor au
plot bunny graveyard
smut prompts
blackmail au
WLWH
Mates au drabble
setting suns of Gallifrey
Maledictus
Heloise
The Secret Ingredient
Winning the Breakup
There are more but I give up.
Tagging: @helpless-in-sleep @thetourguidebarbie @morningstargirl666 @averseunhinged .....who else?
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kirythestitchwitch · 5 months
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Tagged by @morningstargirl666 thanks dear!
Rules are drop the last line you wrote from a WIP!
Caroline didn’t mention that her mother hadn’t even noticed, it would be too much like proving Rebekah right. 
I should work on this au some more 🤔
TAGGING @stars-and-darkness @lilbreck who else writes around here? @purplesigebert @thetourguidebarbie @cupcakemolotov
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garglyswoof · 3 months
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It's time to go through my drafts again, in which I keep inexplicable things.
exhibit a
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exhibit b
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glad i tagged it for easier finding! exhibit c
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WHY WOULD I PUT VIBES IN A DRAFT THAT WILL DISAPPEAR QUICKLY and lastly, i remember this is because someone was making shitty demanding comments on @thetourguidebarbie's fics, and while i never posted this I got mad again just reading it lmao (also applies to @jinxedwood's recent anon
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If anyone is like me and saves text posts as drafts ,please consider this a tag game!
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sonseulsoleil · 1 year
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tagged by @twosoulsinonehome (thanks Mia!)
> Share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics, then tag ten people! If you’ve written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway. <
Alright, they're all gonna be Heartstopper/narlie fics. I almost waited to do this until I post a lotr fic (because...it's gonna happen) but I need to finish the books first. And they are long. Anyways. From most recent to least recent:
it's not simple to say (most days I don't recognize me) 
It starts the night Charlie—it starts the first night Charlie is in hospital. Nick isn’t allowed to see him—only family can stay overnight, and no matter how much Nick loves Charlie, he still isn’t legally family. 
2. hush, hush (don't give it away) 
Nick Nelson and Charlie Spring had been dating for almost four months—three months, two weeks, four days, eighteen hours, and 11 minutes, to be exact. Not that Nick’d been counting or anything. 
3. it's much too early in the game (but I thought I'd ask you just the same) 
Nick shivered in the cold December wind and pulled his blue coat tighter around his body. Despite the multiple layers he was wearing, he could still feel the bitter cold seeping into his bones.
4. sugar, butter, flour (what a mess I'm making) 
Nellie's Nibbles was a small bakery, with pale blue walls and two large front-facing windows. Nick had picked the space for the windows, loving the flood of natural light that spilt in through them every day.
5. Fantasyland
“My feet hurt,” Charlie announced. “I think you should give me a piggyback ride.” 
6. come sail away with me 
Charlie sat at his desk, going over his packing checklist for the Menorca trip and trying not to overthink and work himself up into a panic. He was only somewhat successful.
7. never saw you coming (and I'll never be the same) 
Nick Nelson was filthy from head to toe. Rugby practice had been wet and muddy—the true struggle of rugby being a spring game—and the walk back to his flat had felt endless.
8. hurts like heaven (and it feels so good)
When the large box first appeared in their flat, Charlie didn’t think much of it. It’s not uncommon for Nick to buy things for his classroom—even large things, like a desk chair that won’t do permanent damage to his spine. 
9. the night we met, there was magic abroad in the air 
“I cannot believe Mum made me do this.” Charlie walked down the pavement with his arms crossed, a frown on his face. Olly ran ahead, giggling delightedly, pretending to shoot webs out of his Spider-Man costume. “I’m supposed to be at Tao’s right now, getting pre-buzzed for Harry Greene’s Halloween party.” 
10. I make sense of the madness (when I listen to your voice) 
Rain falls in a gentle drizzle outside, and the soft pitter-patter creates a soothing rhythm. Charlie taps along to the sound of the shower with his fingers on the kitchen counter, counting the beats in his head.
This was fun! And made me realize just how often I write from Nick's POV lmao. I'm tagging @unacaritafeliz @galwithalibrarycard @thetourguidebarbie @hmslusitania and anyone else who wants to do it!
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thetourguidebarbie · 1 year
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Why?
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Everyone who follows thetourguidebarbie dot tumblr dot com
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lynyrdwrites · 4 years
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In the Bones
Here is some dragon dungeon porn that is super late and written for @thetourguidebarbie. Pretty sure this was supposed to be your birthday gift about two years ago... my bad?  Also for @goldcaught, in the hopes it will give you a few minutes of distraction.
It can be found on AO3 here, if you prefer that.
---
There was a rumbling beneath the town.
It wasn’t the type that could be heard for miles. In fact, anyone visiting wouldn’t have heard it at all. But those that had grown up in the town? Who had cut their first teeth listening to stories of bygone eras and the monsters that once ruled them?
They could feel the rumbling in their very bones.
The young ones – the stupid ones – they wrote it off as paranoia because their grandmothers were so good at spinning tales. Their parents laughed it off, and then spoke in hushed voices when their children were turned away, gone off to play again.
The elders knew they had to do something about it.
And Caroline Forbes?
Caroline was one of those visitors, the ones that couldn’t sense that rumbling at all.
Shouldn’t sense that rumbling at all.
Yet as she sat in a coffee shop and talked to a woman who had to be at least 80 about the rumors of a cult that had set up shop in the caves beyond the village during the turn of the century… well, she saw something in that old woman’s eyes. She heard the whispers that she couldn’t quite make out.
And something deep, deep in her bones made her shiver.
---
It was cold.
It was so, so very cold.
It should be warm. The bed in the cute little BnB where she was renting a room had been almost stifling in its warmth. It had been enough to make her a bit light-headed, compounded by the headache that had begun to pound in her temples, seemingly in time to the rumbling she swore she felt, but that no one else seemed to notice.
She tried to curl up, to pull the blanket tighter around her, only to find that there was nothing there. Nothing but cold and hard, damp stone.
Caroline pushed herself up into a sitting position and tried to swallow back the panic that threatened to rise in her throat and choke her. She had taken lessons about this; Shelia made any international journalist on her team take lessons on hostage situations and kidnapping scenarios.
Rule one was always don’t panic.
Easy to say. But Caroline doubted very much that any of those instructors had ever actually found themselves kidnapped – taken hostage? – because if they had, they would have spent more time on explaining exactly how one didn’t panic.
She took deep breaths, and looked around with frantic eyes, trying to calm her racing heart while taking in her surroundings. Her eyes had begun to adjust to the dark, letting her see the outline of cold stone.
Was she in a cave?
She cringed, because she had nothing on her feet. She wasn’t some heathen that slept in socks, although she wished, in that moment, that she was. She shuffled along, until she could grip the stone wall, letting out a yelp when a particularly sharp stone dug into the bottom of her bare foot.
It was followed by a disgusted moan when she realized the stone of the walls was wet.
She hoped it was water. Please, let it just be water.
“What the hell is going on?” she muttered darkly, shuffling slowly along the cave, her hands hovering just over the wall and its wet surface. At least if she shuffled, she shouldn’t step on any more stones. Her foot stung, and she tried hard not to worry about the skin being broken, and what gross diseases she was picking up if it were.
She heard stone grind, a sound that made her wince, and she hesitated. That sound meant there was probably someone else here, but Caroline had also seen enough horror movies to wonder if she wanted to actually meet that someone else.
In the end, desire to get the hell out won over fear of coming face to face with Jason, and she shuffled towards the noise.
At some point, it came to a stop, and after a few more minutes of shuffling, Caroline found herself coming up against more stone.
Stone with a handle that, when she tugged, moved exactly nowhere.
She had a terrible feeling that her only way out was behind that stone, and the fact that someone had apparently locked her behind it brought panic back to the surface. This time, she didn’t bother trying to fight it.
“Let me out!” she shrieked, pounding with her palm. The stone was rough and scraped against her palm, and she hissed when she slapped a sharp edge. She recoiled and clutched her hand, curled into a fist, against her chest. She didn’t need to see it clearly, to know that blood was welling.
And still, there was no response from the other side of the stone wall.
Somewhere behind her, she heard something move. It was faint, and at first Caroline was sure that she was just imagining it. But then she heard it again – a slide over stone. Not the screech of stone on stone that the wall had made, but a fainter noise, one that sent a chill down Caroline’s spine. That rumble she had felt in her bones disappeared, replaced by something more terrifying.
The certainty that she wasn’t alone in that cave.
She gave another useless tug at the wall, and winced when it tugged at her injured hand. She flexed it, and then began to shuffle down the cave again. Heading towards the noise was not an ideal scenario, but the alternative was to stand with her back, literally, to a wall while she hyperventilated and panicked and created the absolute worst scenarios in her mind.
Probably better to just face down the noise and hope it wasn’t a serial killer.
As she moved, her mind began to calm. These had to be the caves she had come to investigate. The cult caves. There were rumors of human sacrifice to Pagan Gods. She was pretty sure it wasn’t a God making that sliding noise that grew louder as she moved towards it. There had to be another corridor in this stupid cave. One that would take her away from that noise. The locals claimed the caves were a maze; one in which visitors often became lost.
At the time, it had seemed like a valid explanation of the odd disappearances – far more logical than Pagan Gods, but not quite logical enough to discard the Cult angle entirely. But these seemed more like a straight line than a maze, and her steps began to falter when the sliding became closer with no other exit in sight.
It sounded like something was moving. Or rather, like multiple things were moving. One thing couldn’t make that much noise.
Not unless it was a very, very large thing.
She stopped walking, her fingers clutching the wall of the cave. She glanced back, and thought about turning around. But she’d already been there, and escape wasn’t to be found. That meant she really just had one final choice.
To be horror movie stupid.
“Hello?” she called out, taking a hesitant step towards the noise. The shifting paused, and Caroline dared to take another step forward. “I need… help.”
It felt so lame, calling out like that, and now that the noise had stopped, everything in the cave seemed so eerie. In the back of her mind, Caroline imagined dramatic horror moving swelling.
If some axe wielding maniac ended up jumping in front of her, she was going to… well, die.
But she’d haunt his murderous ass.
The noise began again, but it was different. Until it was just a shuffle, like the sound of feet on the dirt floor. All her muscles quivered with a tension she couldn’t explain. Was this what a deer felt like? Caroline remembered going on a singular, disastrous hunting trip with her father. She was a good shot, but she hadn’t been willing to shoot freaking Bambi. They hadn’t spoken for months after that; their argument had been angry and explosive.
Now she could feel an empathy for that deer, one that went beyond being unable to shoot at big, brown eyes. Now she understood what it felt like, to feel danger in the air and not know if it was real, or if she was just going crazy. Was she being hunted? Or was it all her imagination?
Ahead of her, something moved in the shadows.
She knew there was nothing behind her, nowhere to hide, yet she ran anyway. Her flight instinct was apparently sharper than her fight one, and all she could think was she needed to get the hell out. She tore at the wall blocking her exit, not caring that she was tearing her nails down to the quick, turning them bloody, as she dug at the wall and pulled until her muscles strained.
The sound of a rock bouncing across the floor sounded like a shot behind her. It seemed louder than it should.
She gave another tug, and then dropped her arms, letting them hand uselessly at her sides. With resignation taking over for panic, she began to become of aware of the sting in her fingers. Her attempts to move the wall and left them raw and painful.
“You’re afraid.”
The voice was male, and accented. Not Welsh, like most of the people who lived in the village. But definitely British of some sort. She didn’t respond, just stared at the wall while tears stung the corners of her eyes.
She wasn’t alone in the world. Her mom would look for her eventually. So would Bonnie and Enzo. But that wouldn’t be right away; Caroline knew she wasn’t the best at maintaining contact when she was on a job. By the time they began to really worry, who knew where her body would be.
She’d probably be found, eventually. Just far, far too late.
There was a sigh behind her, and more steps. Whoever her likely murderer was, he put off a lot of heat. It made Caroline shiver. She hadn’t realized how cold she was thanks to the damp misery of the cave. Now that she was so close to someone so warm, goosebumps rose in response on her arms and legs.
“You’re an interesting gift.” The man was close enough that Caroline could feel the exhale of his breath as he spoke. “Your accent. It’s different.”
“I’m American,” Caroline replied. Her voice broke on the word, and it made her steel her spine. She might die here, but she wouldn’t do it wilting. She would get in at least one good punch.
She spun around, intending to surprise the man by going on the attack. She struck out with her knee, directing it to where the odds said his groin would likely be. It was caught in pale hands that held her still with a steely strength. Caroline cursed and swayed, fighting to stay upright on her free leg.
“You’re spirited,” the man mused, and he held Caroline’s leg a moment longer, before he dropped it. Light flared suddenly, and Caroline winced and closed her eyes. She opened them again slowly when nothing else happened, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the sudden light.
It was fire, she noted after a moment. Warm and orange and engulfing the man’s hand.
“Holy shit,” she muttered, staring at the limb that should be a gross mess of flaking skin and whatever gross fluids would result from it. Instead, there was just untouched skin. The man chuckled, a sound ripe with amusement, and drew Caroline’s gaze to his face.
“Holy shit,” she muttered again, because crazy axe murderers tended to be, like, mutated monsters that probably called their father daddy-uncle. This man didn’t look like he belonged in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, though. He was…
He was hot.
Blonde curls and dimples that cut into his cheeks. He wasn’t much taller than Caroline, and his cheeks looked rough with scruff.
He was also completely stark naked.
“I… okay. Pants, maybe?” she spun around, and looked at the roof of the cave. It looked ominous, with the way the light from the fire caused shadows to form from the dips and crags. “I’d really rather not be killed by a naked murderer.”
“Am I killing you?” The man still sounded amused, and Caroline shot a scowl over her shoulder, quickly remembered he was freaking naked, and turned her head around again. “I wasn’t aware that was my intention.”
“Are you going to put on clothes or not?” Caroline demanded, her voice getting increasingly higher until the final word sounded entirely too freaked out.
But she was. She was really freaked out. Incredibly freaked out. And concentrating on the naked thing distracted her from the hand on fire thing, so she’d freak out over the damn naked thing.
Another sigh behind her, this one more irritated than anything, and okay, maybe irritating the guy that may or may not be a murderer wasn’t the best idea.
Something in the air shifted. Caroline couldn’t quite explain what it was, but the hair on her arms and the nape of her neck went on end, and she kept preternaturally still. It was like that sense of rumbling she’d had in town, only so much closer, and she knew if she turned around, she would never be able to un-see whatever was behind her.
She didn’t feel in control of her own body as she slowly – painfully slowly – turned back towards the man.
And instead came face to face with a beast.
The eyes were still blue, but the scales were black and grey, and horns protruded back from that scaley face – horns that looked almost as though they were made of silver. He was more serpentine than the stories would have her believe, but if the man had been like a space heater, it was nothing compared to this.
Nothing compared to the dragon.
Caroline stared up at him and she wanted to scream. But the sound caught in her throat, and she couldn’t move. Not until he nudged her, his skin hot beneath her touch, but rather than scalding her, it just made her feel warm.
She was crazy. She had to be so fucking crazy.
She stroked the scales between his eyes, surprised that they were softer and smoother than she had expected. There was a rumbling, and at first she thought it was the cave. But when she paused in her stroking, she got an unimpressed huff and another nudge, and the rumbling stopped. It had been the dragon. She started her stroking again.
He was purring.
---
The stench of fear had faded from her scent.
It left just the fresh, delicious smell of the woman herself. Contentment caused a deep rumble in his chest, and when her fingers stopped their heavenly stroking, he nudged her, a demand that she continue to stroke him.
He wasn’t normally affectionate, and he definitely wasn’t prone to letting strangers stroke him. But Klaus was a creature of instinct, and all his instincts were telling him to keep the woman. To take her to the horde he kept hidden in the heart of the old mountain cave and keep her there.
Humans ate meat, did they not? He was sure they did. Admittedly, he hadn’t bothered to pay attention to one in… well, centuries. But he was positive they did.
“You’re a handsome boy, aren’t you?” the woman asked, her fingers finding a particularly sensitive spot at the base of his horns, one that made his tail sway, hitting the sides of the cave with dangerous force that made him growl in irritation.
This part of the cave was entirely too small.
“What are you doing?” the woman asked, as Klaus cradled her carefully with his his talons against his chest. It took some maneuvering, to get turned around, and to head back to the hidden entrance to his horde. She struggled against his grip, and Klaus growled down at her. He was much larger in his True Form, of course, but not so giant that her struggling didn’t make carrying her difficult.
Didn’t she realize that she could cut herself  if she moved like that. His talons were sharp, meant to tear his prey to shreds.
“Isn’t this just great,” she muttered to herself darkly, and it amused Klaus, to listen to her speak when she clearly thought he couldn’t hear. “Way to go Caroline. Death by imaginary creature… that’s going to be, like, the worst epitaph ever.”
She struggled a bit more, but stopped when Klaus huffed at her again.
Or… he thought that was why she had stopped. But then something sharp and stinging dug into his skin, between two of the scales that usually worked as excellent protection. He let out a pained shriek and released his hold on her – Caroline, he managed to think, even through his anger. She had called herself Caroline – and looked down at his claw, searching for what had caused the pain.
Caroline stumbled down the cave, and Klaus took a moment to roll his eyes. The only exit route was in his hoard, and she would never find that without him. He caught sight of something shiny between his scales, but his claws were too large to pull it out.
He changed back to his human form, and raised a brow when he saw what had caused the pain. He didn’t recognize it, but there was a strand of blonde hair caught on it, making him think it was some sort of hair pin. He didn’t know how she’d managed to make it so sharp so quickly, but he had to appreciate Caroline’s quick mind.
His instincts had chosen well for him. He glanced down the cave, where he could hear Caroline’s footsteps moving further. She would hit the next dead end before long.
He might be in his human form, but the teeth bared by his grin were viciously sharp and not human at all.
If she wanted to play a game, then he would play with her. A game of chase would keep him young, after all.
---
Thank whatever higher power might exist for cheap bobby pins.
Look, the dragon had been weirdly cute and all… but Caroline wasn’t about to just play possum while she got dragged back to its creepy lair and turned into a midnight snack. And that had to be the plan. It had to be the explanation for all those people that went missing.
The people in the village were clearly dirty lying liars… and, Caroline admitted, probably members of the rumored cult. No wonder no signs of it had been found; the members were the same people being questioned about it’s existence. And she could do exactly zero reporting on any of it, assuming she figured a way out alive.
No one would believe her if she told them about a dragon.
She found herself at another dead end. The cave behind her was entirely too quiet, and she knew the dragon would be on her in, like, ten seconds.
But there had to be a way out. This space was way too small for a giant lizard, and there was no sign of a space for its human form to sleep.
She did, however, find the first sign of sacrifice. Her foot caught on something hard, and she found herself landing hard on her stomach, face to face with a skull. Even in the dark she could recognize it, and it made her scream.
She scrambled backwards, and realized that she had stumbled onto the cave’s graveyard. Not the centuries worth of bones that should probably be there according to the rumors she had been chasing, but probably at least, like, a couple decade’s worth.
Jesus Christ – had the dragon eaten all them?
“Are you ok – oh.” The dragon came to a halt, once more in the form of the very attractive, very naked human male. “I suppose I should have tidied up. But I tend to lose track of when the mortals decide to send another one in here. The centuries, they fade together.”
“Centuries,” Caroline repeated faintly, clutching the wall of the cave. “And… did you seriously just say tidy up? Like you can just toss out bones like garbage and I would be okay with the fact that you eat people!”
The dragon let out a huff, one that didn’t sound quite human. He stepped towards Caroline, who looked around for an escape and when she, of course, came up short, bent down and grabbed what must have at some point been someone’s rib. She mentally asked the owner for forgiveness, but it was the only weapon she had, and she was not going to just become another pile of bones, thank-you very much.
The dragon stopped his forward motion and once more, fire flared around his hand, letting Caroline see the way he raised his brow at her. And illuminating the rest of him, and it was stupid that she found herself distracted by that, but sue her. He was so, so naked.
“I don’t recall the humans being so rude,” the dragon mused as he frowned at her slightly. “There was a lot of screaming, yes… but they never attacked me.”
“Well, gee, sorry for not just letting you eat me!”
“Humans taste terrible, Love. Even a hatchling knows that. If they don’t listen to their elders, they learn their lesson quickly.”
“Yes, because the pile of bones doesn’t tell me you’re a dirty liar!” Caroline snapped in reply. “You and that stupid village deserve each other!”
“I didn’t eat them,” the dragon replied irritated. He scratched his cheek with his index finger, and Caroline realized his nail was still long and black, like his claws in the dragon form. “Truth be told, I usually just slept until they stopped being so loud. It was rather rude of them, to come into my home uninvited” – he turned his gaze to her, his eyes becoming warm and welcoming – “though I find I’m not so disturbed by the interruption this once.”
“Are you flirting with me?” Caroline demanded, nearly lowering the rib, because the whole thing was just so surreal.
The dragon stared at her, and then cocked his head. The movement was once again just so… not human, and it was kind of weird, seeing it being done by someone who looked so human.
“I don’t know what that means,” he said at last. “Let us try this again. I am Klaus. This is the entrance to my horde. Now you say your name.”
“Caroline,” she blurted out, because what else did you say when a dragon was, apparently, giving a lecture about manners? “I’m Caroline. Forbes.”
And probably telling the giant lizard that might not be intent on killing her, but definitely had the ability to burn her alive, her name wasn’t the best idea. But what else was she supposed to do? She’d been raised right, after all.
If someone told you their name, you gave yours in return. It was just polite.
“Caroline Forbes,” Klaus repeated, looking as if he were savoring the feel of the syllables on his tongue. It was… weirdly attractive.
And God, what did it say about her that she found a dragon attractive? She was a human. She should really only be into humans. This was like… some Beauty and the Beast level of crazy, except at least the Beast was a human. Just cursed.
“Ah… you wouldn’t happen to be cursed into the whole dragon thing, would you?” she asked, waving her hand to encompass his everything.
“Cursed?” the word was filled with insulted derision and Klaus sneered at the mere thought. “Please. I haven’t been weak enough to be cursed in centuries.”
She wasn’t sure which part of that to unpack. Her weird attraction to someone who was, truly, not at all human… or that curses were apparently a Thing, even if they weren’t relevant to her situation.
He looked… mostly human. The fire thing was a bit crazy. And the claws. And she was pretty sure his teeth were entirely too sharp. But besides that… mostly human. So it was totally okay.
“Maybe you should go full lizard again,” she said at last. “You know, with the scales, and the horns… and the not having all that just hanging out there.”
Klaus glanced down idly at his naked form. He huffed again… and was that smoke coming out of his nose?
“You are oddly fixated on this form,” he noted at last, his brow furrowed slightly. “And keeping it covered. It irritates me.”
“I kind of don’t care,” Caroline responded, watching as he lifted his flame covered hand towards the cave wall. He ran his claws over it, and then tugged on what looked like any other rock protruding outward. It shifted downward, and the entire cave rumbled. Caroline gave a shriek and almost lost her balance, only for Klaus to catch her with one arm around her waist. He tugged her closer, and her palms rested against his warm shoulders.
Again, she was reminded of how cold she was, and she curled into his body before she could think better of it, reveling in his warmth.
“You’re too cold,” Klaus noted, and Caroline glanced at him to see that he was scowling, and then shrieked again when he suddenly lifted her with one arm.
They were almost the same height, and there couldn’t have been that much of a weight difference, but he made lifting her seem laughably easy. Her feet off the ground, the only halfway natural thing to do was wrap her legs around his waist. Of course, that left her pressed against his very, very naked body, and entirely too aware that even if he wasn’t actually a human, he definitely had all the parts one did.
“You should put me down,” she declared, staring towards the top of the cave. Klaus’ huff was warm against her throat as he began to walk. When they suddenly started to descend, Caroline startled and then realized the rumbling that had startled her was, apparently, the opening of a freaking trick door. “No! Nope. I’m not letting you take me down into the depths of your depraved lair. I’ve seen this movie, before.”
“I don’t know what that means,” Klaus retorted, much as he had after her accusation that he was flirting. He glanced at her once, their eyes meeting and catching for several beats of time, before he turned his gaze back towards the tunnel they were descending down. He adjusted his grip on her for a moment, pressing her tighter to the warmth of his chest.  
Caroline pressed against that chest, and pushed her toes into his legs.  For a moment, his grip just tightened, then he said something in a language she didn't understand.  But the inflection made her pretty sure it was a curse, and she was on the ground again, teetering as her boots hit the edge of a step.  She caught the wall to keep from tumbling down them backwards.  Once she was balanced, she glared at him.
"Look, Nosferatu, you seem to not understand a lot of what I say, so let's make this simple.  I want out.  And if that isn't going to happen, then just end it here.  Dragging it out is just cruel."
Klaus contemplated her, the flames on his hand casting flickering shadows over his face.  It made him look aloof and dangerous, and his eyes looked black.  Or maybe they were black now?
She couldn't really tell, and it's not like she'd made a study of dragons.  This was outside her realm of expertise.  
"I am cruel, Caroline.  You had best learn that now.  It will make everything go far more smoothly."  He stepped around her, and continued down the steps.  They were curved, and Caroline stayed there, until the flames here just a faint flickering around the curve ahead.  She looked back up the steps, and carefully stepped up them.
Once again, her hand came in contact with stone.  The opening had closed off once more.
She swallowed heavily, and leaned her head against the rough stone.  She could feel tears stinging the backs of her eyes, and knew that she was standing on the edge of a complete breakdown.  
She gritted her teeth and pushed away from the stone, turning to carefully make her way down the steps after Klaus. Caroline Forbes wasn't weak.  She didn't just fall apart because the situation was difficult.  She was strong, and she'd figure a way out of this.  
She ran a finger under her eyes, wiping away the tears that had gathered, but not quite fallen, and straightened her spine.  She wasn't going to go down crying.
---
Klaus halted when he had descended far enough that he knew Caroline would no longer be able to hear him.  But he could hear her.  He heard her climb up the steps, and he heard the faint noise of distress she made, when she realized the stone wall had slid back into place.  He could scent salt water in the air, just faint and short-lived, but for a moment it had been there.
Tears.  Not nearly as strong a scent as her blood had been, and even less appealing. The others had shed tears as well, but they'd had no affect on Klaus, except to cause the briefest moment of curiosity.  He was sure he had cried at least once as a fledgling, but that was so long ago, and he no longer remembered what it had felt like.  So he'd wondered, if it caused them more distress, to know that they were so weak that they couldn't even prevent their own eyes from leaking.  The curiosity had been brief, however, and easily pushed to the back of his mind when he had instead immersed himself in his lair and forgotten them.
But Caroline's distress... he felt a tug in his chest.  Was that where his heart was meant to be?
He was quite certain he didn't like it.  
He stood in the middle of the steps, contemplating how he could make the damn organ he never thought of cease it's misbehavior when a stone skittered down the steps past him.  Caroline had come up behind him, and he'd been so distracted he hadn't realized she was so close.  He glanced back at her, but the salt scent was gone, and her eyes were completely dry as she glared down at him from her place three steps above him.  
"Are we just going to stand here?" she asked stiffly, in a way that didn't at all suit her.  He felt that Caroline was much more inclined towards the spontaneous outbursts that had characterized their interaction to this point.  This was a woman trying to push down emotions and take control of the situation.  It made Klaus grit his teeth and turn away from her, continuing down the steps.  
"Of course not," he replied, already trying to think of ways to return her to her previous behavior.  She was meant to be his, which meant she was meant to behave naturally with him.  That she didn't recognize what his every instinct told him was irritating.  Humans, and their inexplicable urge to ignore what was meant to be.  
It was one thing to be master of one's fate; it was another thing to ignore something that would never be changed.  
"Wait a second. Are you mad at me?" The shocked disbelief in her voice made Klaus smirk.  He had a feeling he should be glad that he had his back to her; this was the response he wanted, and he thought the smirk might have ruined the whole thing.  "You can't be mad at me!  I'm the one who was kidnapped!"
"Ah, yes.  The kidnapping.  You see, Love, since I'm not the one that... kidnapped you, I'm not entirely sure what you thing your anger will gain from me."
"What  my ang - my freedom, you asshole!  Obviously I want to be out of this place.  It's cold, and wet, and I'm still pretty sure that I might lose my foot to whatever gross bacteria call this place home!"
It was on the tip of his tongue to ask what a bacteria was, but he suspected it would just take them down another rabbit hole that would distract them from what really mattered.  That she was his. He knew it in his blood and bones, and he knew that she had to know it, too.  
She was clever, his Caroline.  Even if she might try to deny what her own blood and bones were whispering to her.  Her human nature would demand as much from her. He would simply have to charm her out of listening to that foolish human nature of hers, and awaken the wild instincts he knew must exist within her.  After all, Klaus would never be so drawn to a woman who lacked a monster's darker instincts.  
"Why should I let you go?" he asked after a beat of silence.  He stopped, and Caroline bumped into his back.  She let out a huff of frustration, but Klaus ignored it, spinning quickly to scoop her up in his free arm once more.  She let out another surprised shriek that made him wince, but he continued down the steps, letting out his own annoyed huff when she started to struggle.
"Why do you keep picking me up?!" she demanded shoving at his chest.
"You're the one that mentioned... bacteria," Klaus replied, hesitating over the foreign word.  He might not know what it was, but he wasn't a fool.  Caroline had a clear distaste for it, thought it must be on the floors of the caves.  "I am simply helping you avoid it."
When Caroline stopped struggling, but didn't immediately respond, Klaus glanced down at her.  She was staring back at him, her eyes wide, and it felt like she could see right through to his tattered soul.  The look made him stumble, though he was able to quickly catch his balance against the wall.  His flames flickered out as he did so, however, leaving them in darkness.  It took only a second for Klaus' eyes to adjust to the darkness, however, his sight as good as it had been in the flickering light of his fire.  
He knew she couldn't see him, yet Caroline's gaze somehow remained lock to his, as though she knew exactly where his eyes must be. 
It left him unsettled, and he tore his eyes away, igniting his flames once more.  Caroline winced slightly, and looked away from the sudden brightness as Klaus continued towards his lair once more.  
"I'm not going to stay here," she said at last, breaking their silence.  "I have a home, and a family.  People that care about."
You should care about me, was the thought in Klaus' mind, one that made him want to bare his fangs and snarl in possession.  But Caroline wasn't done, and her next words extinguished that anger.
"But still... thanks.  For keeping me clear of the bacteria and stuff."
---
It was the bare minimum, really.  Keeping her off the floor until they finally reached what must have been their final destination.  She deserved better, and she knew that.  Maybe it was just her really shitty taste in men rearing its ugly head again - because Lord knew she had made some terrible decisions in that regard - but even though she knew it was, realistically, just the bare minimum... Caroline still found that she softened towards him, just a little bit, because of it.
Klaus had set her down, and moved away.  Within moments, the new room was lit by flames on torches around them, and Caroline realized that her rather comfortable seat was what appeared to be a really, really old chair.  One made out of stone, that was throne-like, because of course Klaus would have a throne.  But underneath her was a super comfortable cushion, and she wondered where he got it.  She didn't quite see Klaus sitting around making a pillow to sit on.  
She looked away from the chair, to look around, and almost lost her breath.  They had to still be in a cave, but it was almost impossible to tell that.  Around them were beautifully carved shelves, and stacked on each were books.
Really old freaking books.  Thousands of them.  Most of them ones Caroline wouldn't even dare to touch, out of fear they'd crumble beneath her fingers.  She had gotten to her feet and wandered towards those shelves and saw that there were some newer ones among them.  With amused surprise, she even picked out a couple of paperbacks, with familiar titles.  Stephen King appeared to be a modern favorite of his.
"You made it seem like you haven't been out of here in centuries," Caroline pointed out, reaching out to tug a copy of Cujo off the shelf and holding it up.  Her dad had loved Stephen King.  Caroline's tastes ventured more towards romance, and the one time she'd tried to read It, she'd had to give up.  Crazy killer clowns weren't really her thing. 
"There are... methods of getting books." Klaus looked around, his expression smug.  "This is my hoard."
"You hoard books?" Caroline internally winced at how incredulous she sounded as Klaus looked at her, looking vaguely insulted.  
"Why do you sound so surprised?  Books hold knowledge, Caroline, and if I'm not to be part of the world, then they are the best way for me to learn of how the times change through the centuries."
It... held a certain sort of sense, she supposed.  But she had read The Hobbit, okay?  She knew what a dragon's hoard was meant to be.
"But what about the gold?" she blurted out, feeling all of her previously held beliefs about dragons slipping through her fingers.  
Klaus sighed heavily, and then he was lifting the stone floor somehow.
A secret doorway.
Caroline peered down into a pit, and Klaus held his hand, engulfed in flame, over it, so the contents were illuminated.
And here was what she had expected.  Precious stones and jewelry - although it seemed to be heavier on the silver, rather than the gold. Yet that didn't surprise Caroline as much as the books had.  Klaus seemed like the type to prefer silver, somehow.  She bent down and reached out, lifting up a necklace made of delicate silver lings, ending in an intricate charm that held a sapphire in its center.  It was in perfect condition, yet that charm appeared old in its design.
"Do you like it?" Klaus asked, and Caroline looked up at him, feeling her cheeks flush.  It was stupid, to be so entranced by something sparkly.  It was something she would have done as a teenager.  Fallen for a pretty necklace and a pretty face that hid someone that was absolutely Not Good for her.  Someone that wasn't even human.
And just the thoughts made her uneasy, and she put the necklace back down and quickly retreated back to the bookshelves, and trying not to think about her teenage self and what her thoughts of comparisons might mean.  Because it meant something really, really stupid that she shouldn't even consider. She stared hard at the spines of the books, not really seeing them as she tried to push any thoughts of emotions other than anger or fear and Klaus out of her mind.
He. Was. A. Dragon.
She wasn't into that.  Really, she wasn't.  Scales and claws weren't her thing.  Even if the purring and the tail wagging had been sort of -
No.
She was so busy mentally berating herself, that she didn't pay any attention to Klaus until something delicate and cool was grazing her skin.
"What the-" she looked down in surprise, and blinked in confusion as she realized the silver necklace was around her neck, the charm not quite reaching the neckline of her tank top.  She felt Klaus' fingers graze against the back of her neck, and then his touch was gone, the necklace settled against her skin. "Klaus..."
"It's yours, Caroline.  The first of many."
She touched the charm gently.  It was beautiful, and she'd be lying if she said she didn't like it.  There was a reason she'd pulled it out of his secondary hoard, after all.  But she had a feeling that this was an attempt to buy her affection - something Caroline was all too familiar with.  How many years did her parents spend, trying to buy her happiness after their divorce, until finally they had given up?
Caroline's relationship with Liz was better, but Caroline and Bill had never managed to fully reconnect before he had died.  And the years where he had tried to replace his love with money hadn't helped, when he had never tried to get to know the woman Caroline was growing into. 
"Is this how you usually work?" she asked his back as he looked at the books, obviously pretending not to be paying her any mind, even though he clearly was.  "Give a girl a pretty sparkly so she forgets that you're kind of holding her hostage?"
"You're not a hostage," Klaus replied, in what was probably meant to be a casual fashion.  But his back had stiffened, and his tone was terse.  Caroline crossed her arms and stared at his back, tapping her bare toes in irritation.
"Really?  So you'll point me to the exit then?"
"Perhaps there isn't an exit.  Perhaps we're both stuck here.  Wouldn't it be best to get along with your fellow prisoner?"
"Yeah huh... except for all these books.  And the cult that sends you sacrifices.  It's a little late to try and play the fellow victim card, Klaus."
His shoulders moved up in a shrug, and Caroline sighed heavily.  She reached behind her neck until her fingers found the clasp.  She removed the necklace and held it carefully in her fingers, stepping up next to her.  His entire expression tightened when she grasped his hand and placed the chain in it.  
"This might surprise you, but my freedom isn't something that can be bought, Klaus.  Maybe it was how humanity worked a billion years ago when you still cared about us, but we've evolved since then.  Maybe you should try and catch up."
"I'm hardly that old, Love."
Caroline let out a soft snort, because apparently he was just going for top marks in the determinedly clueless department.  Because if he was going to try and tell her that he genuinely believed that was what he should be focusing on, out of everything she had said.  
But it wasn't her job to give him a clue, so instead she turned away and contemplated the books around her.  With a slight wince, she reached out towards an old book, and tugged it down.
It landed on its side with a thud.  Of course it did.
So she moved on to the next.
She repeated the process five times, purposely not replacing the books, even though leaving them out of place killed the small part of her that absolutely hated anything being out of place.  But it wasn't her job to keep this lair neat.  It wasn't her lair, after all.
After the fifth book went down, Klaus let out a snarl and then began to replace the books himself.  He caught up as she knocked down the eighth, and spun her to look at him.
"What the bloody hell are you doing?" he demanded, getting into her face.  She probably should have screamed and ran away.  Not that long ago, she would have.  Caroline tried not to think about what it said, that she wasn't frightened by the freaking dragon anymore.  But in the back of her mind, thoughts of the teenage girl began again, an irritating reminder that the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. 
"I'm looking for the way out," Caroline replied, focusing on her actions instead of her thoughts.  Her thoughts would only lead to dumb decisions, like they always did.  "In all the books and movies, there's a book that activates a switch that will open the bookshelf's secret exit.  I figure with you being old and all, it will be in an older book."
"Oh for - there's no secret latch in the books, Love.  There's just a damn doorway."
He pointed to where there was a gap between two bookshelves.  She hadn't noticed it at first, distracted by the books and the throne and the jewelry.  But now it was rather glaringly obvious.  What wasn't obvious was the door way.  Because it really just looked like a gap to her.  She approached it, feeling around for a latch rock, like the one that had led down to the lair.  She could feel Klaus' warmth at her back, yet he didn't stop her, when her fingers finally found the rock that moved, and the wall slid open.  
Another staircase.  She stepped onto the first one, and then paused.  She told herself not to turn back, to keep going.
But Klaus didn't stop her, and she had to ask why.  Because she was stupid and curious and...
God, but why did she still have to have so much of that teenage girl in her?
"You're going to let me go?" she asked, looking back at him.  "After all that you're mine stuff?"
That stuff that she had rather blatantly ignored, but still noticed.  And she'd hated how it made her feel a thrill instead of the distaste it should.  She was a God damn modern woman who had grown to realize that her own strength was internal, not dependent on the man she was dating.  
"For now," Klaus' expression was contemplative as he considered her.  "If I kept you here, with me, would you be happy?"
"No," Caroline admitted, without a shred of doubt.  Because she might feel drawn to him despite her better judgment, but being locked up wasn't a thing she'd ever be okay with.  
"You are mine, Caroline.  But I can give you time, to come to me yourself.  And until then... perhaps it's time I remembered what humanity is like.  It's been a while."
"You'll need clothes," Caroline pointed out, somewhat amused, but also surprised... because when had she stopped being so abashed by his nakedness?  And now that she was reminded, her eyes drifted -
Nope.  Nopenopenope.
Klaus chuckled, the sound warm and affectionate, and making a shiver go down her spine.  
"I'm sure I can figure something out.  Perhaps you'll help me out.  You habits or foreign to me after all this time."
She knew he was putting on a show for him, but the look he gave her was shockingly effective, an almost boyish grin as he looked at her from under his eyelashes, dimples deep in his cheeks.  
And shit...
She stepped back down, and framed his face in her hands.  When she gave a soft tug, he let her pull him in, to press their lips together.  It was soft.  Exploratory.  The kind of kiss that was really meant to be an ending - because this had been an interesting side trip into a fantastical world, but she fully intended to return to the BnB, get her passport, and the hell out of town before all of them realized their sacrifice had survived.
Then she would forget about it, because what else could she do?
But while she might mean for it to be a good-bye, Klaus clearly didn't agree. 
And neither did her body.
She felt something fall to the ground, rub against her foot, right before Klaus grasped her hips with his hands, his claws digging in just enough to remind her they were there, but not enough to break skin.  He pulled her flush against him and changed the angle of their kiss, taking it over.  And her mind blanked as his tongue grazed against her lips, and instead of pushing him away, her hands clutched his naked shoulders and tried to pull him even closer.
It was as if all her good intentions and responsible thoughts disappeared as soon as their lips touched, and the good-bye became something that could only be called a beginning.
A passionate, heart-pounding hello.
She didn't realize they had moved until her back came in contact with one of the bookshelves. He broke the kiss, and Caroline let out a hiss of anger.  She didn't want the kiss to end, not when he was so damn good at it.
But his lips stayed busy, and he found the sensitive spot on her neck, right where it met her shoulders, with hardly any effort at all.  Her anger turned back into lust, and one of her hands moved from his shoulders, to clutch his hair as she angled her neck to help him as he sucked on that spot, and then nibbled up her neck, until he could nuzzle the soft skin beneath her ear.  Caroline's body moved restlessly against his, and it was difficult to tell if it was his warmth, or her own blood pounding through her veins that made her clothes feel heavy and stifling and entire too much. 
As if Klaus could somehow read her mind, her tank top was shoved up over her head and tossed aside.  He kissed her again, while his hands moved up from her hips to cup her breasts, his thumps grazing her nipples, and drawing circles around them that made them harden and Caroline moan into his mouth. His claws added a thrill to the whole thing, knowing how sharp they were as he grazed them across her skin - never hurting, but always there.
"Hell," he muttered as he pulled his lips from hers and looked around, eyes almost wild.  "I need to taste you."
"Wha-" the word was almost slurred and unfinished, replaced by a surprised gasp when Klaus lifted her and moved, so quickly the world seemed to blur around her, until she was placed back on that throne.  Klaus had tossed the cushion aside, so there was just cold stone. She gasped when her skin came in contact with her, and it was with more surprise that she realized that, somehow, during that blur, he had managed to remove her shorts and underwear as well.
She was left as naked as he was, and his eyes were dark and hungry as he took a moment to look at her.  He had placed her so she was slightly slumped, one of her legs over an arm of the throne, leaving her open to that hungry gaze.  She was beginning to feel a bit embarrassed when he went to his knees before her.  There was a thrill to it, the sight of him, filled with all that inhuman power, kneeling before her.
He grasped her ankles and hooked her knees over his shoulder, and she didn't care about the thrill anymore as he kissed his way up her thigh.  She tugged at his hair, and tried to pull him to her pussy, to where she was wet and needy, but he just chuckled and looked up at her beneath his eye lashes as he continued those slow, wet kisses.
By the time he made his way to finally lick his way up to her clit, she was almost ready to murder him.  But that talented tongue flicked over it, and her head fell back so she stared up at the roof, eyes closed as she let herself fall to the sensation.
A sharp, quick pain had her looking down at him.  There was a prick of blood, where he had nipped her thigh to get her attention.  He licked the blood away, and then licked his lips as she gazed at him.
"Eyes on me, Caroline.  I want no doubt in your mind, as to who is doing this to you."  Keeping his hungry gaze on hers, he went back to her pussy, his tongue working her clit as he began to thrust a finger in and out of her.  She couldn't look away, and it was hard to breathe.  Those teeth... his claws, that he somehow kept from doing any damage, even within her.  The whole thing made her very aware of the danger.
And damn if that didn't make her even more wet.  Because he could tear her throat out in a second.
But he wouldn't.  That certainty she felt right to her bones, in an instinct she had been trying to ignore, even as it had directed so many of her actions towards him.  And there was something beautifully heady, about knowing how much power he held in that body, and also knowing that, in a way he'd hate to admit, she was the one that truly held the power between them.
Her orgasm came, driven by his tongue and her own thoughts, and she clutched the arms of the throne with her hands, her eyelids fluttering.  They wanted to close, but she knew what he wanted, and fought to maintain that eye contact.
"Good girl," he murmured, as her orgasm left her breathless and gasping and still looking down at him.  He kissed along her thigh again, and down her leg as he got to his feet.  In another quick move, he replaced Caroline on the seat of the throne, and instead she was straddling him.  
She had a feeling that he was usually on top.  She wondered if he realized the level of control he was giving her, with this position.  Wondered if, come morning, he might care.  
But he was still looking at her with hunger, and so she kissed him, and rubbed her pussy - still wet with her orgasm and his saliva - against his cock.  It was already hard and impressive, and the head hit her clit just right, so that she moaned into that kiss.  They broke apart, both panting, and they continued to make eye contact as Caroline reached between them, to grasp his cock and stroke it once... twice... and then slowly... slowly... she lowered herself down, until she was settled in his lap, his cock hard and hot inside of her.  She stayed there like that for a moment, savoring the feeling of connection.
She had never felt connected like this to another person before.  And here she was, feeling it with a dragon.
He grasped her hips, lifting her, and then pulling her down again.  It took them a couple attempts, and a bit of rearranging, but soon they found a mutual rhythm, one that had them both groaning and clutching at each other.  This time, she was pretty sure there might be some slices where his claws clutched her.  But she didn't care.  She dug her own nails into his shoulders, sure that she was drawing blood as well.  As they both hit that climax, she couldn't keep her eyes open, not anymore, not with this.  So she let her forehead rest against his, let the connection flow that way, and her eyes drifted shut as she hit that second orgasm, at the same time Klaus his, and he growled fiercely - a terrifying sound.
Caroline had never felt so... right.
She wasn't sure how long they remained there in the aftermath, still connected. both of them breathing hard.
"Still going to leave, Love?" Klaus finally asked, sounding somewhat smug.  Caroline opened one why to glare at him, her head resting against his shoulder.  She should probably leave on principle with him being a smartass... but she felt boneless, and was pretty sure her legs would in now way hold her up.
"Depends," she replied, her voice snarky.  "Do you have a bed in this cave?  Or do we just sleep on the floor."
His huff of amusement brushed against her damp skin.  She was starting to grow a bit cold now that they were no longer... exercising, and she shivered.  Klaus wrapped his arms around her, so she was firmly surrounded by his warmth.
"Sleep, Caroline.  I'll make sure it's comfortable."
"I'm still leaving in the morning," she grumbled into his skin, but she was already beginning to drift off, her whole body feeling heavy.
"Of course, Love.  I told you it was time I learned about humans again," she heard Klaus murmur in reply.
There was so much in those words that Caroline knew she would worry about in the morning.  There was no way a dragon had a passport.  And how would she explain it to Bonnie and Enzo, and even Shelia, when she came back minus a story.  
No where in those thoughts did she really think about leaving him behind.  Not again.
She'd think about that in the morning, too.
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honestgrins · 1 year
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Klaroline + driving
Caroline loves to drive.
When she turned sixteen, driving meant freedom - from her mother's tight schedule, from their lonely house, from Mystic Falls altogether. But she didn't love it then, it was a convenience to liven up her boring life.
Then she died, and a car seemed irrelevant to the powers that came with the whole vampire thing. Nothing could come close to the whoosh of air as she cut through the forest, let alone the contained environment of a sensible sedan. The other side of town hardly required the nuisance of finding her keys. A blink and a half, and she would be standing outside the Salvatore boarding house; she didn't even need to break a sweat.
World travel, though, gave her an appreciation for the mundane. For humans, slowing down and enjoying the simpler pleasures of just existing is reserved for retirement - the golden years, so to speak. She was seventeen and fifty-two, all at once, and she finally understood the power of moving in her own time. Public transportation was a thrill, not an impediment. Small talk, friendly silence, general peace, and good food when she made it to the cafe two hours later than she had planned.
Amazing what a few decades will do for a girl's patience.
But driving, that took another fifteen years (and a classic car Stefan had stashed away for her) to truly enjoy. She no longer minded her hair getting a bit messy with the windows down, and she didn't need a destination to enjoy the radio playing classics from her mother's childhood and the open road before her. When she returned stateside, she made a point of seeing the national parks and her friends' grandchildren, a road trip to end all road trips.
Then, she rolled into New Orleans, just to laugh at the derision on Klaus's face. "What is that grimace?" she had laughed, lifting her sunglasses to push back her windswept bangs. "You don't like the car?"
"That thing is a relic, it can't possibly be comfortable," he answered, squinting at the model. "Don't tell me there are still springs in the seat."
"Okay, I won't." Her smile hurt her cheeks as she leaned back against the cherry red door, arms crossed defiantly as he glanced her over, head to toe. "Hello, Klaus. Want to go for a drive?"
Because Caroline loves to drive, yes, but she might like Klaus complaining in her passenger seat even more. Between sneers and puppy eyes, he points out his favorite haunts and promises to show her all the city has to offer. With the roar of the engine and a Taylor Swift song drifting from the oldies station, all she can hear is the laughter Klaus fails to bite back at having her here. His eyes slip toward her like she might disappear any moment, and the tension feels warm as sunshine through her windshield.
Fingers thread through hers, covered with a near whine at the fumes following them. She only smiles and keeps her eyes on the road. Honestly, he can say whatever he wants about the car as long as he holds her hand over the gearshift.
Prompt me with a ship and a word -> get a mini fic
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cbk1000 · 1 year
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Five Things You Might Find in My Fics
Tagged by @garglyswoof to list five things you typically find in my works.
1.) Dicks If you find any of my fics lacking in dicks, please lodge a formal complaint. I strive to provide the most dicks. If Shakespeare resurrected, I would want him to read my writing and be blown away by all the dicks.
2.) Bitchy Social Commentary A lot of things piss me off, and I use gay fanfiction to vent my ire. If you like dicks and social commentary, this is the place to be. 
3.) History Do you want to learn about medieval siege warfare? Weird medieval medical treatments? How about your gay porn being constantly interrupted by little details about daily medieval life? I have a massive boner for history, and I like to wave it around in people’s faces while they’re just trying to read some porn in peace.
4.) Landscape Descriptions I am a cheap whore for these, actually. I love nature writing, and I love inflicting it on readers.
5.) Bar Fights This is so I can vicariously live out my dreams of hitting someone over the head with a barstool without going to prison. I put on some Dropkick Murphys and just let my characters start headbutting people.
Tagging: @kirythestitchwitch @thetourguidebarbie @bellemorte180 Uhh...I am trying to think of people off the top of my head that have multiple fics, but I just clocked off work like twenty minutes ago and am a bit braindead. So if you want to do this, please do this.
I would tag @aemelia as well, but she only has the one fic. Boo, you whore.
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purplesigebert · 4 months
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13 songs I've been listening to lately
Thank you for tagging me, @sergeantpixie 😘����.
Loose Ends by Imogen Heap
The Walk by Imogen Heap
Have You Got It In You? by Imogen Heap
Down by the Water by Abigail Lapell
Can't Let It Go by The Goo Goo Dolls
Seven Wonders by Fleetwood Mac
Winter by U2
Sopra il cielo by Mattia Cupelli
528491 by Hans Zimmer (Inception soundtrack)
betterman by Virginia to Vegas
Pavlove by Fall Out Boy
Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift
Cassandra by Florence and the Machine
Tagging: @garglyswoof, @the-road-betwixt, @stars-and-darkness, @morningstargirl666, @sailor-hufflepuff, @thetourguidebarbie, and anyone else who wants to do it!
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Now that autumn is slowly dying and winter will soon be upon us, the exchange has ended. Gifts have been revealed and new works for us all to consume have been created. The mystery of each gift giver has been unmasked and revealed.
If you wish to promote your work on Tumblr, please feel free to do so but use the tag #klarolineautumnexchange
Klaroline Autumn Exchange
all the skeletons you hide by @darkestgrays for @little-miss-sunny-daisy
redamancy by @labime for @supremeuppityone
where the heart moves the stones by @stars-and-darkness-main for @darkestgrays
The Third Wife by @bellemorte180 for @supremeuppityone
Glorious Happenings of Happenstance by @thetourguidebarbie for @garglyswoof
over you (my whole life) by @helpless-in-sleep for @thetourguidebarbie
24/7 Sylvia plath by @averseunhinged for @labime
Begged and Borrowed Time by @thetourguidebarbie for @purplesigebert
(don't wanna die) I wanna wander the world with you by @purplesigebert for @bellemorte180
Peripheral by @little-miss-sunny-daisy for @helpless-in-sleep
The dark comes soon by @garglyswoof for @kirythestitchwitch
The Banishment from Eden by @bellemorte180 for @averseunhinged
Snapshots by @austennerdita2533 for @princess-of-the-worlds
meat ugly by @princess-of-the-worlds for @queencarolinemikaelson
Miss Manners and Little Miss Overthink by @queencarolinemikaelson for @stars-and-darkness-main
Good Timing by @supremeuppityone for @austennerdita2533
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hellsbellschime · 1 year
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Comfort Movie Tag
rules: post 10 of your favorite comfort movies and then tag 10 people
Tagged by : queen @lemonhemlock
Comfort Movies (no particular order)
Stand By Me
Terminator 2
While You Were Sleeping
Romeo + Juliet
The Dark Knight
Trainspotting
The Shining
The Shawshank Redemption
Jurassic Park
Life As A House
Tagging: @agentrouka-blog, @trinuviel, @thetourguidebarbie, @spell-cleavers, @cbk1000, @chrkrose, @jinxedwood, @klarolinedrabbles, @merrysithmas, @raycicle
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