#and i really want to go but i dont think i can make it happen

[i-cant-sing]

Time Traveller AU pt 4

Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. AU masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more.

Two weeks had passed since you and Baldwin had met Salauddin. As much as you tried to stay in your room to try and work on your time machine a bit, Sibylla was far too excited with the wedding preparations and was dragging you along. Even the maids were too eager to do everything, be it dressing you up or accompanying you around the castle. You suppose it was their way of trying to get in your good graces so that you'll choose them to be your court ladies. Its all politics really. The few moments that you did try to have for yourself, they'd be with Baldwin. You cant ever have meals without him, even if you were sneaky. You theorised that Baldwin probably had someone in the kitchen to inform him the moment you're having a meal made so that he can join you too (and proceed to handfeed you the first and last bite from his plate).

You decide its finally time to bring up the agenda you had in mind. "Baldwin?" You call softly, earning a surprised look from him because he's used to your admonishing tone. "Yes, princess?" he quickly closes his book, giving you his full attention.

"Do you think... it could be arranged for me to travel?" He raised a brow. "Travel? Where?"

You mustered up the courage. "Egypt."

"Egypt? Why?" Of course he was alarmed because at the time Egypt was under Muslim rule, and Salauddin was the sultan of Egypt. It was his territory and it was far too.

"Why not? I thought you said you would show me the world." You reminded him of his promise when he was trying to bribe you into marrying him.

He sighed and nodded. "That can be arranged. Come on, now." He took your hand and pulled you towards him as he moved towards the corner of his room, keeping you facing him. "I always keep my promises, princess." He whispered kissing your chin before turning you around to face the mirror.

"See? Now you've seen the world. In fact-" He spins you back to him before turning you towards the mirror again. "-ooh! Now you've seen the world twice!" He keeps on spinning you back and forth a couple of more times making you laugh before you get dizzy and lightly smack his arm.

"Be serious for once, Baldwin!" You glare at him. "Dont you get tired from your flirting attempts?"

His eyes twinkled as he cupped your face with his hands. "Never!"

With your face still in his hands, you repeated your request. "I want to go to Egypt, Baldwin." "But why? Do you want something from there? Because I can have it brought here-"

"No." You cant believe you have to manipulate him. Eh, he'll get over it. "I... I dont have a family, Baldwin. I was an orphan and well- things werent great at my orphanage, so I ran away. I wanted to find out about my family, about my parents. What happened to them. So I've been travelling here and there. I suppose thats how I developed an interest in history." You could seem his resolve melting with the way his eyes softened, so you continued on. "Please, let me go to Egypt. I think... I think I might find some clues about my family there. And if I dont..." you chuckled. "Well, I could always write something on Salauddin."

"Do you really want to go?" You nodded eagerly. He smiled. "Alright. I'll talk to Salauddin. If he gives permission, then you can go. I dont think I could accompany you there. Guy has been stirring up some problems here and I cant have him try to start a rebellion."

"Its okay, I can go alone." "Well, not alone. I'll send my best knights along." Shit. Oh well. Better them than Baldwin.

Breaking the pattern for once, you decided to initiate affection and gave him a hug. "Thank you, Baldwin!" You heard him inhale sharply, his body stilling for a moment before his arms slowly but surely wrapped around your frame, and you felt him melt into you a bit. This is psychology 101, okay? Pavlov's dog experiment, if you reward him for "good behaviour", he is more prone to be "good".

If only you knew this may have been the first time in more than a decade that he's been hugged. And now that he has... it only cements more in his mind that your hugs are his- you are his.

-

As expected, Salauddin agreed and allowed you to come to Egypt. However, Baldwin still delayed your trip by almost a week under the pretence to make "necessary arrangements for your trip".

It was just him trying to find excuses to make you stay longer, or even change your mind about leaving at all.

"You know it's going to be soooo hot in Egypt? What if you get a heat stroke?"

"I'm going with Salauddin. He's been living in the desert for so long, I'm sure he'll teach me how to protect myself from the sun."

"You- what if you get thirsty? You won't get cold water!"

You looked at him baffled. "Salauddin literally had a box of ice in the desert- he served us ice water. Did you forget? I'm beginning to think you might be suffering from a heat stroke."

He huffed. "Surely, you cant be safe in Egypt without me by your side. People will attack you for being my weakness!"

Your heart skipped a beat. I'm his weakness?

You shake your head. Not the time. "How would they even recognise me? I'd be in a niqaab! Besides, I thought you were sending your "best knights" with me." You said turning around to fold your clothes.

Baldwin's hand reached for your wrist and he pulled you back to him, your body stiffening against his hard chest. Damn, how long did he work out for? Just a few weeks ago, he couldnt even stand for long without passing out.

He rested his chin on your shoulder. "I'll miss you." He mumbled, and the corner of your mouth quirked up. "I know." You replied as you tried to break out of his arms and return to your packing. But Baldwin spun you around, his brows furrowed. "You wont miss me?" His eyes held deep concern, while his voice reminded you of a scared child.

He's adorable.

His grip on your arms tightened the longer you stayed silent. Fearing he'd change his mind about the trip, you cupped his face and brought it closer to yours, staring into his eyes.

"No." Hurt flashed through across those blue pools, but you continued. "Because the mere thought that you would be waiting here for me will make me want to return home early." His face softened.

"Home? You consider this your home?" He whispered, clearly affected by your words.

Oh, he's about to die when he hears what you've got next.

Your eyes smiled. "You're my home, Baldwin." You knew if this was an anime, then right now Baldwin would be animated with a pink background with halo behind him, and probably cupids shooting arrows and crying.

His reaction proved you right. Baldwin pulled you in for a tight hug, hiding his head into your shoulder and before you either of you could react, you both fell on your bed, though Baldwin didnt let go of you.

When he finally pulled away, he caressed your cheek with one hand. "What?" you asked with a lazy smile. He didnt say anything, just kept tracing your face with his fingers, looking at you as if he was in a trance. Considering you were leaving tomorrow, you didnt move from the bed. You didnt want to break whatever fantasy Baldwin was in (truthfully, you didnt have the heart for it. He looked like something was healing inside him.) So you stayed there next to him, letting Baldwin run his fingers though your hair and falling asleep to that.

"How did I get so lucky?" He whispered to himself, still looking at you in awe.

Baldwin didnt sleep that night. No, he wanted to memorise your face.

-

The next morning, you were sent off with a small entourage, even though Baldwin wanted to send you with a bigger one, but you reasoned with him that a large group of people would only draw more attention to you.

"Be safe, princess." Baldwin said, pressing his lips to your forehead. You smiled and nodded. "I'll be back before you know it." He gave you a lopsided smile before pulling out a pouch and placing it in your hands. It was heavy. "I have given the knight commander gold to cater to your every need, buy anything you like but- I still want you to have this. Just in case." You peeked into the pouch and your eyes bulged out at the gold coins in there. "Its too much, Baldwin. I cant take-" He cupped your cheek. "I insist. If- God forbid, things go wrong, I want you to use this to get out." You leaned into his touch. "Nothing will happen to me, Baldwin." He prays so (he and his church is praying for your safe journey). "I know, but please- keep it. For my peace of mind." You finally conceded, giving him a hug before starting your journey.

From Jerusalem, you first reached Salauddin's caravan in the desert, where the Kurdish leader was waiting for you.

"So, have you come up with a plan to leave Baldwin?" He asked, guiding you inside his tent, taking note of the niqaab you were wearing. It was the one Baldwin had helped embroirdered for you- he recognised the ugly flower on your sleeve.

"Its not a priority at the moment." You lied, deciding it wouldnt be good to reveal all your cards to him. After all, he is a conquerer. You dont know what kind of games he may be playing.

He raised a brow at you, setting up the chess board. "Then why are you going to Egypt?" He wanted to gauge your expressions, but your eyes were solely focused on the chess board as you made the first move.

"I have some matters to take care of. Personal matters." You watched him move his black pawn.

"Anything I could help with?" He asked. You took his bishop. "No, you have already helped a lot. Thank you. But I must ask- how did you just agree to Baldwin when he asked if I could go to Egypt?"

He scoffed, taking your knight. "You think I did this for free? Please, your husband had to pay a pretty penny to take his "little heaven's angel" through the desert safely. Honestly, how have you bewitched him?" Salauddin gazed at you. "Either he's too stupid or you're much smarter than you look, the latter is something I highly doubt, so it only leads to one conclusion- Baldwin is stupid." He mocked.

"Hey! Dont insult my fiance." You admonished, looking back at the board to make your next move. He leaned forward with his elbows on the table, looking at you expectantly. "Or else what?"

Your eyes finally made contact with his, and he could feel he had insulted you somehow. "Or else... you'll regret it." You threatened, which he didnt take seriously, because- why would he? You're nobody.

His eyes lit up. "If you were any less threatening, Y/n, you'd be a dandelion." You rolled your eyes, clearly not amused. "Say whatever you want, but you and I both know you didnt do it for the money."

"What do you mean?"

"Mmhm, I dont know. Dont you have enough money already? I think- oh, you made a mistake there." you smirked taking his queen and now his king was left wide open for attack. "I think... you were scared to say no."

"Excuse me?" He moved his king. You chased him with your knight.

"You heard me." Your rook pushed his king into the corner. Frustratedly, he tries to escape by moving his king diagonally, but you were quicker with your bishop.

"Why would I be afraid of a man whose own brother-in-law is starting a rebellion against him and he's been allowing him to do so just because his sister claims to love him?" He taunted at the messed up family dynamics. Of course he knew how ready Baldwin was to give his kingdom away to Guy to be perished, but that was before he was cured of his leprosy.

You had boxed his king from all sides. No escape. "Why wouldnt you be? The same man was only just a 16 year old when he defeated you on the battlefield devastatingly. And that too, when he was so sick, his face was melting off." You knocked down his king. "Can you imagine how strong he is now that he's cured?"

His anger was subtle. Eyes glaring at you, mouth pulled into a thin line, his nostrils flared ever so slightly.

Clearly, you had struck a nerve.

"You shouldn't play with fire." He warned. You twirled his king between your fingers. "Who said I was playing?"

You both sat in silence for a few more moments, with you mostly relishing in your victory. "So, what do I get for winning again?"

His eyes narrowed, though they werent as hostile as they were a few moments ago, "You get to keep your head."

"Am I always playing for my life everytime we play chess?" "Yes." "Huh. So how does it feel to know that I will outlive you?" You teased, making him roll his eyes as he stood up, leading you out of his tent.

"My men are going to accompany you to Egypt. They're ready, so-" he looked at you with a scowl. "Leave."

"Aww, thank you, aljedu!" You waved, leaving before he could get mad at you for calling him "grandpa".

-

The journey to Egypt took a little over 4 days, but you really cant complain with the small army of people at your service. Even the men and women Salauddin had sent with you made sure to cater your every need, and more importantly, help you and your entourage survive the desert.

The pyramids were still as magnificent as in the future, though the area was now surrouded by a bustling market of sorts. As your caravan moved further into the town, you saw a large centre built that had the traditional Islamic architecure elements- huge domes, minarets, white pillars. The colourful tile works (prominents turqoise and dark blue themes) and a few gothic arches displayed the catholic influence as well.

"What's that?" You had asked one of the knights. "Thats the madarasas." You nodded as you recalled reading about it in "the golden age of Islam" era. Madarasa was essentially an educational institution that were devoted to the study of law, maths, science, medicine, religion, philosphy and other subjects. The complex itself consisted of a mosque, a library, a boarding house. They were home to both students and professors, and were maintained by charitable endowments and unlike a modern day college, it lacked a specific curriculum or institutionalise system of certification. Information was usually passed on informally from teacher to student, and both men and women were able to attend.

It was heaven for anyone who seeked to learn, and this was exactly where you would be going to get help for your time machine.

But that would have to wait, as you were now lead to Salauddin's palace for rest. It was massive and just like the madarasa, it was also beautifully constructed. The palace spread over on a large area of land, and although it was was around 80-100 feet in height with those humongous pillars at each corner, the palace was largest in horizontal dimensions. Inside, after passing a throng of soldiers stationed who kept their gaze lowered even though she and most of the females were completely veiled, you saw a huge pool that continued throughout the palace, even through sharp corners. It almost looked like the castle was built around the turquoise pool. Despite it being hot as hell outside, the palace was cool and insulated even though there were no air conditioners or fans and was open enough to be well ventilated. You had seen the palm date trees through the city, but there was a huge new variety of exotic plants inside that you dont think would be able to survive in the desert.

Egyptians were truly ahead of their time.

-

After dinner, you were sitting in your room with your maids. They were talking about the hospitality of Muslims and all, helping you unpack and get ready for bed.

"Alright, time to sleep." You said with a yawn and they all immediately began leaving. All but one maid, who had to stay by your side at all times even when you were bathing. Apparently, Baldwin had ordered her to do so because he didnt trust anyone in the foreign lands.

"You can go to your chambers with the others, Isabella." You smiled politely at the blonde girl, no older than 19. She shook her head, her brows furrowing in concern. "No, princess. It is my duty to be with you at all times. What if you need me for something?"

"I wont." You smiled tightly. The sooner she left, the sooner you could sneak out of here and go to the madarasa. "You must be tired from all the travel. Please, go rest. I insist." But it was like she couldnt imagine committing a grave sin like this.

Fine. If she's not going to leave then-

"Isabella..." you come close to her, fiddling with your thumbs. "Can I trust you, Isabella?"

She nodded obediently. "Of course, my princess."

"I need to get out of the palace for some time." You tell her slowly, letting her absorb the words. Automatically, she responds. "I can have them arrange a tour tomorrow-"

"No, Isabella-" you let out a distressed sigh, rubbing your forehead as you paused for a dramatic effect. "I need to go out right now."

"Now? At night time?" The young girl wondered what possible emergency you could possibly have. "Oh, um- well, I can have the guards prepare a-"

"No!" You turned around, reaching for her hands. Isabella's eyes widened. A princess- royalty is touching her? You tilted your head sligtly, eyes making a desperate plea.

"I have business that I need to take care of on my own. I-" you sigh dramatically before looking at her with most remorseful eyes. "I have to find my family. I need to- I cant get married without them attending. I- I- just need them and I know! I know they're here! I can feel it!" Isabella's face softened at your "distress" but you can still see her hesitance, and so before she could protest, you squeezed her hands. "I tell everyone I am an orphan but- the the truth is... I was a slave. I was stolen from my family and- and I was raised with other slaves. It wasnt until I was 8 that I had ran away. I've been running from my owners for a long time, all while trying to find my family. I dont care if they're dead but- I need to know. I need to know, Isabella. You... you understand why, right?"

Tears slipped from Isabella's eyes as she nodded her head feverently.

"Of course I do, princess!"

-

You pulled your shawl around you tighter. Temperatures really did drop significantly at night in deserts. You were now standing outside the madarasa you had seen earlier in the day after convincing Isabella to stay behind and pretend to be you under the covers in bed while you went out.

The building was much more quiet now, although the market was still alive but people were less and everyone was mindful of how much noise they made.

You quietly walked into the madarasa, pretending to be one of the several servants who were entering the place. Inside, the area was designed in the shape of a rectangle without a roof in the center. The moon light illuminated the common ground in the middle while lanterns were lit all around the 4 sides, numerous doors on each side.

Keeping your veiled head down, you walked past many scholars and students. You wanted to enter a room, but with all the doors closed, you feared you'd enter the wrong room with someone who wouldnt be as forgiving to a stranger entering this place.

But luck was on your side tonight, as your eyes finally caught sight of an ajar door, and you slipped in once you noticed no one was currently in the room. The room was far more spacious than you had anticipated and even though the equipment was far too old, you recognised it to be a sort of lab. Nearing the desk in the corner, you noticed some papers spread around with some maths done. Even though the numbers were in Arabic, you recognised it- algebra.

"What are you doing here, woman?" You look upto find a man in his late 30s with a white turban and a black beard looking at you angrily. "Who sent you here? By Allah! Leave right now or I will have you punished for trespassing and attempting to seduce a pious man you devil-"

"I'll leave but I cant go without correcting your error." You said pointing to his papers.

He blinked at you. "What error?"

You laughed tauntingly. "Im surprised you dont see it." The man's brows furrowed as he marched over to you. "There is no error! I am the finest mathematician of this decade, if not century! I study astrology, biology, physics, alchemy, philosophy and you dare tell me that I made an error?! I am Al-Abbas ibn Bashir! Who are you to correct me woman?!"

You stared at him unamused. "The square root of 8 is not equal to the square root of 4 + square root of 4." You said pointing at his paper. He squinted at you, trying to process your words before looking where you were pointing.

"Yes, it is. It is additive-"

"Not everything is additive." You sighed, pulling out a blank sheet of paper and solving the question step by step for him. "See? Square root of 8 is 2.818 while square root of 4 is 2, so since we have two square roots if 4, it'll be 2 plus 2, which adds to 4."

You sat down on his chair while he looked over your explanation, trying to find an error in your work. There were none.

Abbas looked at you, brows still furrowed. "You- fine, you are correct. I made a small error-" "Small?" You teased. "Yes, small!" He snapped back as you chuckled. He continued. "But that doesnt explain what youre doing in my office. Who are you?"

You rested your head on your palm and stared at him. "I have work for you."

"And what might that be?"

"Hmm, depends. Are your studies purely theory based or... experimental as well?"

Abbas gave you a nod. "I like to mainly focus on theories, but I like to test my theories as well, so from time to time, I do have to conduct experiments as well."

"Fantastic!" You straightened up and grabbed a paper as you began drawing a tool. "Here, I have mentioned the dimensions and I need you to engineer this for me." He took the paper from you. "What exactly is it?"

"I cannot tell you." "Why?" "Well, I'm a scientist too, and I dont want you to stealing my work." You replied as you pulled out your coin purse that Baldwin had given you. "I suppose this would be sufficient for you?" You placed 5 gold coins in front of him.

Abbas scoffed. "You think you can buy me? I dont care for money!" He stood up, turning away from you.

You raised your brow. "Name your price."

He shook his head. "I cannot be bought, woman. I am a man of science. I have far more important things to be doing with my time-"

"Like making more mistakes?" He glared at you. "One small error. Thats all it was. Besides, just because I made a small miscalculation doesnt mean youre smarter than me."

You smiled under your veil.

"Wanna test that?"

-

Abbas had decided to work for you after you had outsmarted him in every subject he presented. I mean you only had to touch the basics of what you had learned in 6th grade science class but he was- bamboozled.

After he had recovered from his shock, he had agreed to work for you on the condition that you check his work for mistakes and impart some of you teachings. He swears he wont copy any of your "works". You gave him the gold coins and told him to work under complete discretion and that you'd meet him again in 3 days time, when you're ready to return to Jerusalem.

The plan was to collect your tool from him and then give him a couple more tools to design which you would collect 2 weeks later when you visited Egypt again. Because while you do need to work on your time machine, you also need to find ways for Baldwin to go to war with Salauddin again, because originally Baldwin dies of leprosy, but since you already cured that... you need to find a way for Baldwin to die and so far, a war seems to be the only answer.

But youve seen their relationship... Baldwin and Salauddin wouldn't simply jeopardise everything like that. They have a good bond, a strong friendship even.

However, if highschool has taught you anything, even the closest friendships end because of misunderstandings.

And so, a week later, you were back in Jerusalem with your new tool and a new plan in mind.

You walked up the stairs and towards Baldwin's office. Since you had arrived earlier than he was expecting, you wanted to surprise him. Honestly, you missed him and his adorable expressions-

You stopped at the foot of the door, your heart dropping at the sight.

Baldwin and a woman... kissing.

Thoughts? Also send asks

#yandere baldwin #yandere king baldwin #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #yandere x y/n #yandere x you #yandere boyfriend #obsessive yandere #baldwin iv #king baldwin iv #koh #yandere salauddin

[skunkes]

observation post but ive found myself doing a lot of "problem solving" for commissions in my sketchbook because it helps me in a way that drawing digitally does not... Now im trying to figure out why that happens and how to bridge that disconnect because well why would it be different. Why is it so different 😭

#like why does it happen #whys it difficult to do thumbnails for stuff digitally #why did i draw 5 hyena heads digitally and not get anywhere but when i did them on paper it made more sense #why can i get proportions down nicely when doing thumbnails on paper but not digitally #i dont get it! ive been using digital for longer too and i always run into these issues #i guess the case could also be made that i think the traditional stuff looks better bc i never make complete pieces in there #like maybe if i drew a full detailed body on paper id struggle just as much #but idk. trying to figure out variations of a character digitally feels so suffocating even if i do it the same way #idk what it is. i want to figure it iut #*out #talkys #i also have always had this insurmountable issue where ill sketch proportions nicely #but as soon as i go to add detail suddenly the head feels too small or something feels off #and when i adjust it it just becomes More Off #i think this just is worse digitally? messes with sense of scale? i really dont know!!! idk how to fix it

[txttletale]

(Other than the really weird bit about "Male presenting Doctor") what were your thoughts about the specials?

pretty mixed bag, pretty messy, but good overall. i think they were very obviously a nostalgia trip for people around my age lol and it worked! i loved seeing tennant and tate back onscreen together, their chemistry hasn't aged a bit, and honestly just watching doctor who that wasn't written by chris chibnall was a breath of fresh air. they weren't boring, like seasons 11 and 12 were, and they didn't go too far off the other end into nonsense like flux did. characters want things again! the show can let itself just be silly! i was literally cheering out loud when donna and the doctor were just saying random scifi gobbledegook at each other for like a solid several minutes during the star beast.

the structure of the specials kind of baffles me. i love wild blue yonder--i think it's definitively the best of the specials as a standalone, it's absolutely fantastic, creepy and atmospheric and bringing things around to RTD's strength, which is well-written characters interacting with each other and letting good actors just act. but at the same time i dont understand why it exists? it feels like...idk. imagine if you watched the star wars original trilogy but instead of the empire strikes back the middle film was just a feature length film about luke and han surviving on an ice planet with no reference to anything that happens in the last film except the two characters' relationship. and then the next film was still return of the jedi, unchanged. it felt like that

i liked all the weird campy silliness of the star beast and the giggle, and they were both very fun! neil patrick harris gave a fantastic performance, there are a lot of very memorable sequences from the giggle, but it's very very all over the place. so many threads get kind of picked up and go nowhere. the toymaker's haunted house dimension goes nowhere. RTD's eyerolling social media commetnary goes nowhere (thank god tbh but yknow im illustrating something here). even the toymaker kind of goes nowhere, after ncuti gatwa shows up he's bascially an afterthought who loses by dropping a ball. obvious parallels to david tennant's first episode with that ball scene could be made, but just... aren't. it feels like load-bearing sectikons of the plot and themes were cut out to make room for a backdoor pilot for the stupid fucking UNIT spinoff

oh and it goes without saying i fucking hate all the UNIT wank in the star beast and the giggle. i hope space nine eleven 2 happens to their stupid fucking avengers tower i cannot stand kate stewart who is constantly a murderous bonehead (in the giggle alone she gets two pepole killed by not listening to the doctor and assuming that this teleporting godlike entity could be restrainted by Two Guys) who is both in and out of universe just a boring nepo baby with no merit of her own

um. i still dont know what happened with the regeneration. i think the implication is that when david tennant dies hell time travel back to become ncuti gatwa inside himself--at least the rehab dialogue seems to make that implication. but it's not really explained or explored? baffling. i do think that fourteen getting to settle down and live a peaceful life with his friends is cute.

oh yeah and the ask said other than that but goddd there was some good stuff in the star beast and honestly with the state of the UK media i will take any perspective on trans people that includes baseline human erespect but some of those lines made me cringe so bad. anyway overall i am cautiously optimistic for the future of the show--oh ncuti was fucking great did i mention that i instantly bnought him as the doctor he owned the scene, the moment he was there it was clear he was the protagonist, and i liked the church on ruby road well enough too--i am cautiously optimistic but i worry that a big UNIT-shaped tumor will devour huge chunks of it and it'll be annoying. also russel t davies is like 60 and i just dont want to hear what he has to say about twitter so im not looking forward to dot and bubble

#ask #doctor who

[freakinator]

lowkey insane how many ppl keep trying to fix princezam, incredibly magnetic guy but specifically for certain types of ppl ill call helpers, enablers, and hunters

helpers see an idealized version of him and think they can somehow make it come to fruition so they take care of him and make him feel better in order to make it happen but really theyre only shooting themselves in the foot cause zam doesnt take well to ppl who dont see him the way he presents himself as

the enablers accept him for what he is and would sometimes even go out of their way to protect that but if that means he starts spiralling then theyre fine with that cause its still fully himself even if hes getting unwound

and then there are the hunters who just like his reactions, they accept his image but they want to be the ones who bring it out and to test it to its extremes

printham i need to study you how does this keep happening, mental illness begets mental illness is my only guess

heres two charts of where i Think certain members fall on the spectrum, made with the help of a friend

im not sure with all of them ngl but esp spoke and planet bruhs manipulate zam too much i cant tell where theyre actually placed, also vi is so complicated and for what

#mine.txt #princezam #this was originally gonna be in drafts purgatory but i changed my mind lol #og date: 4/28/2024 5:36 pm #ive thought this for a while but this post was specifically spurred on by all those feelings have to go (the song) lol #the chart made me find out that subz changed into an egirl skin lately

[hazbinhotelie]

Hey there! really liked your other blog so far and i just read your list of headcanons for alastor and the one about him constantly emitting static gave me an idea^^

how about the reader being a regular sinner who's new at the hotel and they're on a good way of becoming friends with alastor. they love to gossip or just sit in silence with a good book, enjoying each others company.

slowly al realises he's developing romantic feelings for them, which he cannot admit to. that'd be embarassing. so instead whenever the reader does something very cute he just starts screaming in his head about it - which comes out as the static surrounding him.

but now whenever he's in his head sceaming something specific (i.e. 'i want to kiss them') the reader starts clutching their ears or scratching roughly at the back of their neck and it has him soo worried. can they hear what he's thinking? what's going on??

uhh so yeah, just a reader who doesn't mind static but is still really sensitive to specific frequencies or other high pitched noises that makes them want to claw off their ears haha ^^'

It started with a paper cut.

I was washing the dishes after dinner, and realistically, I should’ve been more careful. Charlie brought in the mail and set an envelope on the counter for me. I turned off the water, set the sponge aside, and dried my hands. I reached for the envelope and- “Ow! Fuck,” I yelled. I watched the blood drip from the wound already, glaring at it.

“Is everything alright, my dear?” Alastor asked, poking his head in through the door. He looked at me and immediately seemed to notice my wound- and I was surprised. It was so small, so innocuous. “What happened?”

“Nothing, it’s just a paper cut,” I said, nonchalant. I sighed and moved to fix it, but he was already there.

“Please, allow me,” he said, softer. He wrapped a bandage around the cut for me. His static sounded softer than usual. “The kitchen is full of rotten flesh, it’s no place for a wound that can be so easily infected."

“Thank you," I said, a bit taken aback. I smiled noting his static was softer right now, louder, yes, but softer.

My next hint was when we were having tea with Rosie.

"Dont worry darling, I know you’re an ace in the hole,” Rosie said with a grin.

"I still have no idea what that means,” Alastor said, his static shifting to a more erratic pattern and his ear twitched.

“Oh, you know, like how this sweetheart is bi and ready to cry,” she said, laughing softly as the pinched my cheek.

“Rosie!" I said, gently pushing her away. I smiled and laughed with her.

“About to cry?” Alastor asked, coming up next to me. He placed his hand under my chin and tilted my head to look up at him.

“Al,” I said, about to explain.

He stopped me, putting his thumb on my lip. The static got louder as his brow furrowed. He moved my head from side to side, seemingly worried. “My dear, you should smile. I’m sure that would help cheer you up.”

“Oh! Alastor, dear, it’s just an expression,” Rosie said, giggling to herself.

Alastor pulled away, almost immediately and his ears shifted back. “Oh,” he said, quieter. He looked away and I could’ve sworn he seemed embarrassed. “My apologies, I didn’t realize.” The static got quieter again, then louder, shifting back and forth for a moment, before settling on a single frequency that almost sounded like a ringing in my ear.

“It’s fine,” I said with a smile, rubbing the back of my neck. This was going to give me a headache. “I appreciate your concern. It was sweet.”

“Ah. Well, thank you,” he said with a curt nod. “I believe it may be in my best interest to start looking into modern slang again.”

I should’ve realized last week.

I was staying up late in the lounge, on the couch, reading. Alastor sat in his usual chair, near the lamp on the side table, humming to himself as he read. I listened, content.

I found myself nodding along at time, bobbing my head to the song he was humming or playing on the radio. Other times, I’d hum along with him. I didn’t realize it.

I started to do that this time, and the music came to an abrupt halt. A moment later, it came back again, slightly distorted. The static shifted, getting louder, suffocating, higher in frequency.

I dropped my book and clutched my ears, but the sound only got louder. I almost felt like crying.

“My dear…” Alastor said hesitantly, putting his hand on my shoulder. I flinched away. “Are you alright?”

His presence only seemed to make it worse. I shook my head ‘no’. “Loud,” was all I could manage to say. He froze for a moment, processing. Then the static got quieter. Slightly.

“I…” he paused for a moment, then sat down next to me as I took my hands away from my head. “I’m sorry, darling. I hadn’t realized I was doing that.”

I was quiet this time. “Sensory overload,” I mumbled, wrapping my arms around myself.

I should’ve known, when he muttered something under his breath and asked if he could touch me. I should’ve known when he stayed and made sure I was okay for the rest of the night. I should’ve known when I woke up the next morning to find him making my favorite breakfast.

I should’ve known that he loved me.

But I didn’t.

#alastor hazbin x reader #alastor the radio demon #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #alastor #thanks for the ask!

[girlblocker]

Did you look at a non-airport rental location? I used to have to rent cars for my old job and they would make sure we did that to spare the company costs (airport = $$$). Rentals are just super expensive post-covid :(

unfortunately im pretty locked into a specific rental location, im not flying but i go to college in the middle of nowhere and i dont have a car, so the only way to rent a car is through my school and its $60 per day +$.40 per mile after 200 miles. it would be a total of about 200 dollars if I took the car for one day ($60 per day flat rate) and went the 550 miles (550 miles total-200 free miles =350. then 350 *$.4 = 140) i need... & im not willing to pay that much for a one-day concert trip where ill still have to do the actual driving myself

#answers #anon #i really appreciate the advice but my school has me very locked in #and the concert is in the middle of the week #so my friends with cars probably wouldnt be able to take the time off to go with me :( #and i really want to go but i dont think i can make it happen #like. if im paying $200. for that price id want a chaufour #cheouferr??? #idk how to spell it. id want someone else to drive me #like that plus tickets plus fees plus whatever other expenses would probably top $300 #which im just. not willing to spend on this when most of the money will just go to my college #also ignore me typing out all the math i was double checking it to make sure i didnt make any like. addition mistakes

[lunarharp]

more phoenix wright situations

#ace attorney tag #maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care. #gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth #without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly.. #or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates. #i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable #there have to be Situations that make you Realise. #as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+ #but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work #there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened. #Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations #the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is #people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong. #The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else. #But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me. #and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid ! #so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all. #i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out... #not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing #i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life. #i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior. #does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment. #so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3

[courtney-deserved-better]

telling myself i can't start another tdwt rewrite but dear god do i want to write one focusing on alejandro and courtney in this weird situationship thats a lot more nuanced than just alejandro manipulating courtney and her falling for it. like theyre best friends they dont trust each other theyre the same person they dont know anything about the other one theres a mutual attraction theyre pining for other people theyre codependent they dont care about each other theyre platonic soulmates like i just want to do a deep dive into how messy that relationship couldve been building off of their friendship that exists in my head except the line between romantic and platonic is so fucking blurred they have no idea what they are to the other person

#they live rent free in my head as you can tell #ive been writing some intense moments for them in amicus curiae and im having a lot of Feelings about platonic alecourtney #tbh the whole concept of them replacing the best friends has been a great avenue for me to do a deep dive into their friendship #aughhhh i just. love them so much #and i do want to explore them in a situation where there is relationship potential even if that relationship never actually happens #because everything between them during tdwt could be so MESSY!! #like alejandro says he's just manipulating courtney but he's also doing it to make heather jealous but he's also genuinely worried about he #after the duncan thing but this is the only way he knows how to express that concern without making himself look weak #meanwhile courtney is falling for the act but she also knows its an act and is going with it for the emotional support it provides and shes #just doing it to make duncan/gwen jealous but she also is starting to see the real alejandro underneath it all because he does care even #though he doesn't want to and they do feel a strong connection that they dont know whether its platonic or romantic because romance is bein #shoved down their throats on this show and theyre both in complicated romantic dynamics with other people that theyre the easier option for #one another but they dont really want to be with one another like it just doesnt feel right #okay okay i legit have to stop and go to bed but just. them. im thinking so hard about them #platonic alecourtney

[puhpandas]

here are some of my thoughts on how beckory could be if ggy never happened and gregory continued to live a normal life being abnormal

#i love beckory but i cant imagine ggy never happening #like WHAT DO YOU MEAN GREGORY WOULD NEVER MEET HIS FAMILY?? #HE WOULD NEVER MEET VANESSA AND FREDDY? #so its like. sorry tony if we're doing this ur getting attempted murdered but surviving #and then chasing ur friend who may not really be ur friend but you can just feel in your heart that you need to find him #and then learning u were right all along when you finally get to him #and then queue eeverything that comes after lol #beckory works better after gregory gains his real family anyway #because i dont think gregory all alone needs romance. he needs friends and familu #so AFTER he gains that in freddy and vanessa then we can go beckory #you know #i dont want to ship it just to ship it i want to make it best for their characters #beckory #thoughts #tony #gregory #ggy

[robotsafari]

deep in the kingdom hearts trenches..

#beep boop you want fries with that #kingdom hearts #vexen #lexaeus #riku #ansem #i wanna draw lexaeus more but HIS HAIR IS GD NIGHTMARE #on the topic of lexaeus ik he doesnt raise his voice often but i made him do it for the bit. can you forgive me #btw vexen owes like. 50000 munny. #ALSO. riku-ansem. i liek in kh1 when ansem acts liek a gd FREAK in his body like sir WHAT ArE YOU DOING. #he does the exact same mannerisms and everything liek wooahh i love the attention to detail in kh and kh1 specifically. #guys did you know it took ppl many years to realize you can freeze the stove in trickmasters fight to make it easier wooaaahh #unfortunately riku-ansem in kh2 doesnt really have riku’s mannerisms reflected in ansem’s body which. sads #that wouldve been cutes. #the only time i cant think of that happening was when riku appeared hooded in front of sora in the mulan world #teh little gesture he does. and sora is liek. that must be him the only guy who does that is riku #but liek. the gesture is cute and awesome but riku’s expressions dont show up on ansem’s face sadly. #if you think he did then you are probably thinking of the manga. or theres a scene i havent seen yet #bc my kh2 knowledge is sloppy (LOL DAYS REFERENCE) due to me not having played the game when i was young #i only wwatched a cutscene comp when i was little #and memes. lots of meme videos #also hey can we all look at riku’s deranged smile when he was going to hit sora with the keyblade of the heart #FRANKLY ADORABLE.

[eggbagelz]

gale voice here feel the pulse of the magic in my heart that will eventually be the end of me. im on my knees before you like an animal showing its belly. im in excrutiating pain bc of the contact with the magic in my heart but please dont take your hand away please dont stop touching me

#gale of waterdeep #paydja plays baldur's gate #the relationship a lot of the companions have with their bodies is fucking fascinating #but gale and karlach's relation to their heart and to human contact is particularly compelling #i cant say who has it worse bc thats a stupid comparison to make when they both have hearts that could literally detonate at any moment #[ik that karlach cant do human contact at all and gale cant but im talking abt emotionally significant contact which is smth they share] #but rn im focusing on gale ill talk abt karlach later #hes so interesting like hes initially played as arrogant but i think that whole thing with mystra #really fucked him up bc he talks abt himself like hes. not a means to an end per se but u get the gist #you can see the way he talks abt sense and sensuality and emotional connection but as soon as you actually offer it via flirting or just #genuine compliments hes always surprised and always changes the subject #partially out of like. emotiona damage and partially bc he doesnt want to go boom #ANYWAY WHAT IM SAYING IS hes in pain bc of the contact being made with the magic that makes up his heart but #by god please dont take your hand away. please dont stop touching him. please #i hate this fucking game i hate it so much #chattering #sorry for the analysis it WILL happen again #im talking abt gale rn bc hes my favourite and currently the character i know the most about via gameplay #but there is PLENTY i can say abt everyone #god i keep saying this but its like why are you so good sometimes and also so bad. fucking Larian.

[voreoborous]

Doing some silly kobold/dragon world building based on sequential hermaphroditism, except instead of sex it's just how dragony you are, except that's also kind of a gender :)

Draconids in the middle of their transformations are basically undergoing a second puberty (the first being when their kobold state sexually matures, about the same time human kids go through puberty), and have a lot of puberty associated symptoms, such as voracious hunger, skin/scale problems, growing pains, and bouts of really intense horniness. It's advised that draconids going through their dragon-puberty sleep lots, eat lots, and get plenty of exercise.

Some draconids don't want their bodies to change so dramatically, so medical solutions have been devised to halt the transformation. After a few months of HRT, the initial wave of hormones will wear off and the kobold stays a kobold.

Also, it doesn't just get triggered by break-ups. Death, taking a vacation away from a partner for a couple weeks, a new relationship, or sometimes even other transformations in their social circles have all been known to trigger dragonification, if a precise cause is ever found at all. On top of that, some draconids skip the adult kobold stage entirely and morph straight into dragons, but this is pretty rare. Hormone therapy can also be used in these cases if they decide they want to become kobolds instead.

There's also treatments to go from dragon back to kobold. This is much harder on the body than the other way around, but determined draconids can make it work.

(The actual sexes of the dragons and kobolds are usually irrelevant.)

While this relationship is the "normal"/socially enforced way to go about things, plenty of different arrangements exist, each with varying levels of acceptability. For example, a single kobold with a single dragon is not the ideal, but acceptable (if they're looking for more - if they're happy as-is, it's considered strange), whereas two (or more) dragons with no kobold partners are much more maligned. I usually don't enjoy writing fantasy homophobia though so idk how much I'll flesh that out, I'm just rotating hot scalies

#my art #my ocs #this isnt even my kink #i dont go to tf university #this is more about the polyamory dynamics but i got sidetracked thinking really hard about how a dragon/kobold binary could happen #oh that also inspired me. if you bounce on and off hormones you can stay in the middle stages as neither kobold nore dragon if you want #wbing like this is a double-edged sword 4 me because coming up with biological/ecological explanations for random kinky things i like #is genuinely. very fun #but i don't really sexualize the explanations themselves if that makes sense. i don't have a biology textbook kink #i just . enjoy writing speculative evolution in fantasy .

[bl-inkstone]

traveler, wait! it's dangerous to go alone, so have some zhongli thoughts for company!

i think life with zhongli as your significant other would be best described as the love behind every little action and gesture the two of you make. even with all the years you've spent at each other's side (either married or just simply together), the romance never dies. but it shifts and goes through changes, like stone giving way to the gentle embrace of time.

one such example is when the love shared between you calms into something that can blend in with the walls of your home. it matches the color of your curtains, the painted flowers on cups left on your tea table, the clothbound books and scrolls tucked away into the red cedar scroll shelf you had diligently sought after and haggled for when your lover had mentioned it once in passing. it's in the crinkle of your eyes in the morning when you sit at your table together and eat. it's in the shape of his smile when he returns from his work in the funeral parlor to you and the home you've made together.

when you grind ink for him while he works beside you, or comb and tie his hair for him in the morning when sleep still clings to the edges of his eyes. when he combs and washes your hair for you in soothing baths, or leans down to massage the stress of the day away from your tense shoulders when you come back home to him.

acts of service that don't really feel like acts of service — not to zhongli or you. gestures of devotion seem like a more apt term, now, when love is so ingrained in your lives that the word can no longer be used to describe it. you've turned the word from noun to adjective, from adjective to action. love is such a small word for such a boundless concept, but you manage to fit it in every word, every action, and every day leaves zhongli helpless and wondering in the dead of night of what to do with all the love he holds in his hands, specially made just for you.

it's a song and dance he can never quite stray from. even when his heart calms in the daytime and he can look at you with all the assuredness of a lover that loves and knows he is loved in return, all five thousand years of wisdom leaves him when night comes and you're asleep in his arms. he has loved plenty in his long lifetime. friends, family, even past lovers that he can only maybe recall when he can recognize a quirk or quality present in you. but it's in your presence that zhongli remembers that even an archon can become just a man weak to the war between heart and mind. what good is five thousand years of wisdom when it can't tell him what to do with all the love he has for you? how can he show it without scaring you away? you know who he is and you've said time and time before that it doesn't scare you, that you love him no matter what form or identity he takes but what if —

you shift in your sleep and all thoughts cease as he swiftly readjusts his hold as to not disturb you any further. in the dark of your room, zhongli counts each breath and beat of your heart and wills his own to match the tempo of yours. in the morning, he'll reprimand himself for entertaining such foolish thoughts while you hum and converse in front of your shared vanity. he'll share these thoughts with you as he always has, and you'll put down your comb and grace his face with crystalfly kisses as you always have in return. your routine shifts to make room for assurance during the times when he needs it, and the same goes for him when you speak your own fears and doubts as well.

it's part of the comfort of your life together, as strange as it may sound, that you live with all the joys and lows your love brings. sometimes, he wishes he can give you more and do away with all his mortal doubts completely, but a moment of contemplation reveals that it is exactly these doubts that make the softer aspects your lives shine all the more brighter. is this why you allow yourself to feel all your emotions, rather than push back and try to reason them away? is this why you've always placed so much importance in letting him know that should he ever need it, your shoulder is his to lean on? zhongli understands the rationale behind it and has given similar advice to mortals he's met before, of course, but it seems that even he is not immune to the irrationality of the heart. there is much wisdom to still be learned, he concedes. five thousand years is no match for an emotion that has existed since the dawn of teyvat, after all.

time doesn't completely erase all the insecurities of a man who has loved and lost so many in his long lifetime, but zhongli finds that he doesn't entirely mind. come trials and tribulations, he'll stand firm and weather it so long as he can keep holding your hand through it all.

#miyo.muses #zhongli.togo #dont ask me where this came from #i fully intended to write smth for alhaitham but ended up with *vague gesture to whatever the hell this is* #im not even that hyped abt zhongli so this was a surprise #i think its still soft and cute and my fave flavor of zhongli not-really angst but #shdbfdhjsb bye i dont think i can ever write for this man again #if this is what happens when i sit down and go “hey zhongli would be interesting to write about” then i am GONE #this isnt even fully finished or beta read i just want this out of my drafts #i have enough faves sir pls dont make me pull for u too #i already have thoma as my shielder!! i do not need another one!! #GRRR THE POTENTIAL OF ZHONGLI THOUGHTS HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD AAAAAAAAA #if i ever do end up writing for him again feel free to clown on me </3 #sdgsjab sorry if this all seems so disconnected #i just have many ideas and no proper way of wording them all in a cohesive manner #so #you get this #genshin impact #genshin zhongli #zhongli x reader

[lunarharp]

"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like “Sure. :/" #i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want #but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care #i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now #i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit #i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do. #there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know #i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW. #i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends... #btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines #i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words #to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court #anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him #why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it? #they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out #way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone. #the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames? #something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey #I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now

[cellbitupdates]

🟩 Dos mods do Cellbit/🟥 From Cellbit's mods/🟨 De los mods de Cellbit:

🟩 Voltaremos quando o Cellbit voltar de Los Angeles/🟥 We'll return when Cellbit gets back from Los Angeles/ 🟨 Volveremos cuando Cellbit regrese de Los Ángeles ❤️

🟩 O que provavelmente será amanhã ou no final desta semana. Na segunda-feira ele mencionou que poderia tentar entrar no QSMP para conhecer o novo criador coreano Jungryeok, mas ele não disse nada definitivo.

🟥 Which will likely be tomorrow or later this week. He mentioned yesterday that he might try to log onto QSMP for the new Korean creator Jungryeok but didn't say anything definitive.

🟨 Que probablemente será mañana o más tarde esta semana. El lunes mencionó que podría intentar entrar el QSMP para conocer al nuevo creador coreano Jungryeok, pero no dijo nada definitivo.

#cellbit #when will he be live #<- gonna be the tag for whenever the schedule changes. maybe. #first real update since people are probably wondering when he'll go live this week #i think his flight back was yesterday (hence the time sensitive stream) so he is probably back home #it's just a matter of whether he feels up to streaming yet or not tomorrow #also how do people feel about this in terms of translations and formatting #is it obnoxious to do it like this or does it work #bc i dont want to like put everything in english at the top and then every other language below if i can help it #like for transcripts it'll probably be different but it just depends #and im not sure if i'll always be able to do translations depending on the post it's a lot and again i'm not fluent #but anyway. here's this #also i'm gonna put his usual stream schedule in the pinned eventually i just wasn't really expecting to make an updates account and then #well it happened #i can also emoji code translations maybe? like do it based off the lang colors on twitter (so its not country based) #so red = eng yellow = esp green = ptbr #i dont speak french well enough to translate for that so unless someone wants to help with that it'll just be those three usually #anyway im overthinking this to the max here you go he might be live tomorrow he might not #mod bell

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Phullo it is I again!

I am very glad that you actually responded and given me an actual advice since I was worried about the question I sent you.

Though besides that I have another question for you (hoorayyy)!

So, about the reading books earlier- I’m fortunately a bookworm too! It’s just that I notice I prefer reading the genre science fiction/psychological horror more than… anything else!

And while the books I am currently reading, ‘Flowers For Algernon’ and ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ (these books are seriously so wonderfully made they make want to tear my walls), DO have romantic aspects of it- it’s not really the main plot of the story..

‘Flowers For Algernon’ has amazing storytelling and is very unique- though I’m not sure if you’ve read it before but, it’s actually just the main character taking notes. Hence why there was a lot misspellings which honestly makes it a great touch if you know the context behind it.

On the other hand, ‘I’m Thinking Of Ending Things’ too shares the same uniqueness as the other, possibly even more unique if I must say so myself. Though I REALLY don’t want to make my story similar to them since I want to make it more heart warming than fucked up..

Which is why I feel like I have the need to borrow or buy at least one romantic book because, I lack of it. I mean I accidentally borrowed it one time but it was kind of disappointing.

I don’t know if its a good idea and if I should do it or not since does it really matter of the genre, or just the writing?

Still, if you have any good books that are in the romance genre. Feel free to recommend some to me!

-lots of love, from another bookworm

welcome back! happy to hear you're a bookworm as well <3 im writing those titles down since i read a criminal lack of sci-fi despite loving it

i actually don't have any straight up romance recs - i don't actively search it out (outside of fanfic), so any romance i read just comes with whatever book i've picked up. just straight up romance bores me, unless its a fic with a pairing i actively like. and even then, i need to take breaks from it unless the romance is interspersed with an actual plot. im not a romantically-geared person! i dont have single Main Plot Is Romance book on my shelves!

but imo its really just the quality of writing that helps. ive never been in a romance, im the child of two different divorces, and yet ive been told that i write romance fairly well. go fuckin figure lmao.

so actually my advice on romance is to just like. wow idk what i do is pick apart the romances i see on tv / in writing. what makes them good together, how do they act around each other, what are their love languages, what's their dynamic, what traditional romance things do they partake in, what dont they partake in, do they have anything nontraditional, do they work and why do / they dont they - does that make their relationship more interesting or is it flat. are they a good match.

you don't have to have every answer, but ive found that at least understanding their characters / dynamics, and having them interact in a way that suits them will help your romance feel natural. dont conform to tropes or tradition, that will just make the relationship flat and unrealistic. and you can always sprinkle in little things that you like / would like, which will help ground the romance and get you into the groove

tldr with romance, i think it's better to observe real life (whether that's paying attention to couples or reading reddit threads) & analyze in-love or in-a-relationship characters instead of just reading romance novels. bc honestly, and from what i can tell, they can tend to be over the top or cookie cutter

just realized you did not explicitly ask for romance advice! Oopsie! i got a little carried away here....

#another thing i like to do is analyze bad fictional relationships / ones i dont like #both bc it gives me a concise argument / explanation if someone gets on me about it #and bc it helps me understand what makes good romances Good #bc bad relationships make me sit there and ask 'well. what went wrong here? why dont they work? why do i hate this? whats Missing?' #and filling in those gaps teaches me what Does work. what will go Right. why i Love it. what Is there. #sometimes the answer is simply bad writing & after taking a deeper look #i can conclude they they Are good for each other - the show/book just shoved them together with no reason other than #'need romance' or 'boy meet girl' or 'love at first sight' #i mean there are some romances that i look at it and im like 'wow! this should not be happening!' #but i Like it because its interesting enough! a good example is aline & the darkling from the grishaverse #such a fucking unhealthy relationship. really well written. fascinating. hot as hell. important for the story/characters. #i wanted to rip them apart but also glue them together to see how horrible the train crash would be!!!! #absolutely unprompted #so i mean... i think i can rec books that Have good romances in them? but thats not the focus by any means #lemme know... i know im less helpful this time around but i hope im helping a little! #feel free to ask as many questions as you like - ill do my best with all of them