#and i really don’t want to make any more analysis about him or hear any more comments

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Hallowed

Pairing: Michael Gavey (Saltburn) x f!reader Warnings: Toxic relationship dynamics, face sitting, smut. Word count: ~1.3k

Summary: Her Early Medieval Literature essay is due, and Michael has his own cruel way of ensuring she stays focused.

Author's note: Can be read as part two of this fic, but also works as a standalone. Day six of the Smuffmas prompts - "future and face sitting". No tag list. Follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications.

She lounges on Michael’s bed, clad in only knickers and one of his t-shirts, a copy of the Canterbury Tales grasped lightly between her fingers. Her eyes move over the words of Chaucer, but take none of them in, how could they? His long fingers draw lazy circles on her ankle, her legs stretched out up to the pillows where he reclines, the duvet wrapped around his bare midriff while he reads from a textbook called the Book of Proof.

Life feels simpler since Michael has entered it, despite the turbulent beginnings. She has given up her friends, under his advice, and there is now far less pressure to conform. Her only focuses are her studies and pleasing him, the latter of the two she takes great pleasure in.

It is always on his terms; when they see each other, what they do, how they do it, and despite his obvious initial inexperience he is a fast learner. His ability to make her fall apart, to make her relinquish all control is something he does expertly. The slight fear she feels towards him only adds to the excitement; he could destroy her if he wanted to, but if she plays nicely then he won’t, and she is more than happy to play nicely when the rewards for doing so are as satisfying as they are.

She sighs, his fingers upon her flesh making her core throb with want, even from the simple gesture of absentmindedly touching her leg. She lets her book slip from her fingers, raising up on her elbow to look at him.

“Michael…” she whines.

He looks at her impassively, adjusting his glasses. “The first of your three essays is due soon, isn’t it?”

“Mmm,” she responds with a roll of her eyes, flopping back down and stretching her arms above her head. “Early Medieval Literature.”

His hand moves from her ankle, fingertips ghosting over the exposed skin between the hem of his t-shirt and the waistband of her underwear. “And what have you written?”

She shivers beneath his touch, squirming slightly. “Am I really here to study?”

“I’ve no interest in sleeping with a failing literature student,” he pulls his hand away and she immediately misses his warmth. “So tell me.”

She groans in frustration. “Oh, I don’t know. Probably something about irony in the Merchant’s Tale.”

His textbook thuds closed and she hears the heavy sound of him dropping it onto the bedside table. When she chances to glance up at him she sees he is sitting straighter in the bed, his gaze hardened as he looks at her. “Probably?! You mean you haven’t started it? Have you even thought about your thesis statement, your in-depth analysis or how you’re going to conclude your ideas, if you’ve even had any?”

“Oh, come on,” she says softly, sitting up and reaching for him. “There’s still time. Can’t we just–”

“No,” he cuts her off. “I’ve been spoiling you, and it’s made you stupid.”

“I’m not stupid!” She protests. “If I remember correctly, it was you who called my degree a ‘glorified book club’.”

“You still need to try,” he tells her, frowning.

“You don’t try,” she argues with a shrug,” and marks in your first year don’t count towards the final degree.”

“I don’t have to try, but I still get firsts in everything. Marks this year may not count towards the final degree you get, but they count towards you keeping your scholarship. Think about your future instead of being a fucking brat for once in your life.”

His words are a sharp sting to her already fragile ego, and she lowers her gaze, fighting the sudden urge to cry.

“I’m not touching you again until your essay’s handed in and I’ve seen what your mark is.”

Her head snaps up, eyes wide with disbelief as she looks at him, searching his features for any indication that he’s being unserious. She finds none; he really means it.

“And you’re not to touch yourself. I’ll know.”

The next two weeks are torturous for her. On the occasions that Michael does invite her to his room, there is no more casual half dressed lounging on his bed. Instead, he has a study space set up for her at his desk, and won’t allow her to speak or leave until she has at least a thousand words written. 

They meet up in the library during free periods so that he can read through what she’s written, and her skin burns hot with humiliation each time he screws up a page and throws it into the waste paper bin, calling her arguments “lazy” and “uninspired”.

It lights a fire of determination beneath her, but bubbling under the surface is also a heightened state of arousal, driven by the lack of intimacy, and the fact that she finds that she likes it when he is so authoritative over her.

By the time she has finished, she has produced an essay that both her and Michael are satisfied with; it discusses the use of irony in Chaucer’s poem, the Merchant's Tale. She has used a number of excerpts and lines from the poem for analysis, revealing the instances of irony in each, and from this has determined that the irony Chaucer used in the Merchant's Tale is controlled.

Her eyes light up when Professor Ware hands it back, and she sees the 85% that’s circled at the top of it.

A first.

She feels giddy with excitement as she knocks on Michael’s door that evening, brandishing the now dog-eared pages at him as he opens the door.

“A first, I got a first!” She squeals, watching as he takes the essay from her, his eyes moving slowly over the top page.

“Hmmm,” he settles it down on the desk, removing his glasses and placing them on top. “Take off your jeans and underwear.”

“Wha–what?” She stammers, her grin fading.

“You want your reward, don’t you?” He asks, moving to lay back on the bed.

She swallows thickly, excitement fluttering in her lower belly, as she quickly complies, ridding herself of the clothing that covers her lower half.

“Come here,” he commands softly.

She joins him on the bed, a gasp leaving her as he manhandles her until her knees are positioned either side of his head.

“My clever girl,” he whispers. His words could be mistaken for softness, were they not directly juxtaposed by the rapid darkening of his blue eyes, and the way his thumbs drag across the indentations between her thighs and pelvis. “I knew you could do it, you just needed a little…push.”

He drags his tongue from her opening all the way to her pearl, and her jaw goes slack, the wet sensation making her clench as she falls forward, hands clawing at the wall in front of her.

His grip on her thighs tightens and he tugs her flush against his face, the sloppy sounds of him devouring her are lewd combined with the wanton cries of pleasure that tumble from her lips.

She feels her mind go blank as he inserts his tongue inside of her, keeping it rigid as she begins to grind herself in a circular motion, keeping his nose pressed against where she needs it most, desperately chasing the release she’s needed the last couple of weeks.

His hum of appreciation reverberates through her core, and as he withdraws from her, plush lips wrapping around her sensitive bundle of nerves she feels herself fall apart as the growing ache intensifies, completely at his mercy as he laps at her, while white hot waves of pleasure wash over her.

She raises up when it becomes too much, jerking at how oversensitive she feels and gazes down at him through heavy lidded eyes, breathless.

He looks like an utterly different person without his glasses, almost kind, though she knows better. His chin is shiny with her slick as he smirks up at her.

“You’ve worked so hard,” he says quietly, though the edge of malevolence to his voice is unmistakable. “But don’t worry, you can give that pretty little mind of yours a rest while I fuck you stupid again.”

She is powerless to resist as he tugs her back to his face once more, beginning the exquisite torture all over again.

#michael gavey x reader #ewan mitchell #michael gavey x y/n #michael gavey x you #michael gavey smut #michael gavey imagine #michael gavey saltburn #saltburn michael gavey #michael gavey fanfiction #michael gavey fan fiction #michael gavey fan fic #michael gavey fanfic #saltburn #saltburn fan fiction #saltburn fanfiction #saltburn fanfic #saltburn fan fic

[foreverisntenough]

- YOU’RE MINE -

Summary: While you daydreamed about his face an ocean apart, he had no idea what yours was about to do to him. With a twist of fate and the heat of summer, a new relationship would completely ransack his heart - Everyday heavy with the thought of one another, neither of you were going to let the unexpected love of your life go. You were going to be his, you were his, and you were going to stay his.

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestive, smut love bombing, little sad, and kind of angst- not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: I hope you like it! There will definitely be more parts (don’t know how many just yet though.)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10

Chapter 11 - ‘You’re Mine’

The stadium was equally as rowdy after the match as it was before. Completely elated and electrified with the first Liverpool win of the season. Typically the families waited in the box for things to settle down and for the players to go through routine things like showers, brief game analysis, and then they would come up to them. Trent didn’t want that. He didn’t want the wait and he wanted you just to himself.

Saying rounds of goodbyes to friends Tyler and Marcel made their way out of the box, grabbing their coats, waving for you to come along. You followed in tow not really knowing your destination, no one filled you in how this all worked because it was second nature to them.

“I’m headed to the carpark, I’ll meet you there?” Marcel said to his brother which confused you.

“Yeah, just bringing Y/N to him then be there.” Tyler explained like you weren’t there and in turn filled you in on the plan. Tyler turned towards you as Marcel walked the opposite direction. “Trent just wants you alone, usually he pops up here but…” he just trailed off, not really interested in the details he’d be given about his brother’s desperation to see you.

“Oh okay. That’s fine.” You agreed, not really having any choice in the matter but giddy to be reunited with your man so soon. The walk was peculiar, it was like a red walled labyrinth. You went from the private level the box was on; seeing men in suits, pundits you recognized, a calmer environment, to corridors packed with the general admission, away fans scattered sparsely, images of Trent adorned on the walls caught your eye every so often. When you had been to Anfield before you’d ogle at him, but you were analyzing the photos to see how much he’s matured knowing the face well now. Tyler held his hand against your upper back to make sure not to lose you. His job to get you to Trent was almost complete. The oddest part of the maze was the end when you entered a bleak hallway downstairs with plenty of security guards, you could hear discussions about the game, some men yelling in what seemed like excitement, Tyler knew exactly where he was going but you were lost just tailing him.

While you snaked your way through Anfield, Trent cruised through his usual post match routine, showered off, packing up his things. He thankfully didn’t have any media duties to go do so he was attempting to slip out of the dressing room unnoticed and quickly. He failed horribly.

“Fresh trim, smelling nice, new tracky on…. Ooohoohooo” Dom called out knowing why Trent had pulled himself together a little more than he usually would after a match

“My boy!!! Come on now! Sneaking out to find Miss America” Andy yelling the new name you had been dubbed within the team.

“I’m not sneaking out! Just gonna go see her… relax.” Trent said tucking his wash bag under his arm, adjusting one strap of his backpack trying to shove his excitement down.

“Bro… you’ve been glued to your phone for weeks, you’re itching to get out of here.” Dom continued.

“We could all go up and meet her!” Curtis suggested and was immediately met with a disapproving look from Trent.

“Absolutely not. Had Ty bring her down here anyways, I’m not subjecting her to all the chaos.” He explained. That genuinely was what Trent was doing. As exciting and romantic he thought the whole reunion would be, he wasn't naive enough to think that this place wasn’t going to be a little overwhelming and he wanted to protect you. He wanted you just for him after the match. “I’m out lads” Trent said, already walking out the room waving over his head, back turned to the boys.

“We have to go see this right?” Curtis deviously looked at Andy.

“Absolutely” Andy replied with a cheeky grin planning to snoop.

Tyler and you stood against a wall making small conversation. There were people in the corridor around you that seemed to have reason to be there but you weren’t sure what the purpose was, some more security, and further down the way was the now more obvious clue to where you were; large red double doors; the club’s emblem plastered to them tipped you off….the home team’s dressing room but Tyler remained mum.

Looking at his phone, Tyler was getting impatient, Trent was taking so long and Marcel was messaging him non stop asking what the hold up was.

“Do you mind if I head out? Marc is getting pissed and I don’t want to hear him bitch the whole ride home. He’ll be right out, swear…. You’ll be okay?” He asked with such a soft smile you could tell he felt bad. Despite your raging anxiety you chose to lie calmly.

“I’ll be okay, thank you so much for looking after me today.” You giggled a little because he really did look after you.

“It was nothing. Honest. I’ll see you later.” He said leaning in for a hug.

“If I’m still waiting here in the morning, I may text for you to come bring me back to the airport.” You joked giggling a little in an attempt to suppress your nerves.

“Deal” he said before he tapped at your arm walking away. He was so big brother coded. It was nice and made you feel safe.

You leaned one shoulder against the wall, nervous that you might get questioned or in trouble for being down in this clearly very private area. You stayed put though, eyes assessing what unfolded in front of you, it felt like you were in a behind the scenes documentary for a moment causing you to imagine the player you were dying to see appear. You tried not to but your eyes kept reverting back to the red doors, praying for them to open. God, you were so on edge, any notification that appeared on your phone was causing serious heart palpitations, none of them from him yet.

You heard a door open behind you further away from the red one that held your gaze, but the noise of doors opening and closing has been non stop due to the traffic of people the entire time since you had first stood with Tyler so you ignored it, trying to look like you belonged, unphased, heart still palpitating.

It wasn't less than a moment later when your heart fully stopped. You felt warm hands slide around your exposed waist, a body pressed against your back, a familiar pair of plump lips ghosted behind your ear, a warm amber scent engulfing you.

“Who would ever keep such a beautiful, beautiful girl waiting for so long.” Hearing his sultry voice sent your body almost into shock, you wanted to cry. You grabbed his big hands on your stomach turning yourself around to face him staying wrapped in his arms. It was your Trent. You were back in your Trent’s arms.

“Oh my god, T!” you whined trying so hard to hold back tears. He pulled you tighter to him, his forehead pressing to yours. Your faces were so close you actually could barely see his. Your lips instinctively crashed into his. It was absolute heaven, you never felt more relief than you did in this moment, finally kissing him again. It was magnetic like before and following old habits it heated up quite quickly into more of a make out. You pulled away reluctantly hearing the people continue to rush around in the area.

“Sorry, sorry, I don’t even know if I can do that” you paused starting to get nervous given you were technically at his place of work “…you know here.” You said peeling your body away from him gesturing around you.

“Baby…” he cooed, his voice was so smooth now hearing it again in person, it was like dripping honey. “You can kiss me absolutely anywhere you want.” Grabbing at your body pulling you back to him. He kissed you sweetly again, pressing you to him.

“Fuck, I missed you so much.” His lips moved against yours. His head was completely gone having you back in front of him, his hands sliding down to your ass kneading it shamelessly. Before he grabbed you harder, stronger, picking you up, your legs coming to wrap around his waist, you smiled openly at the PDA blocking out your surroundings. Your nose brushed against his, your arms draped around his neck.

“Kiss you anywhere? Hmm?” You mused suggestively, placing another deep kiss on his lips. Your nails scratched at the back of his head causing him to purr.

Tucked behind a wall where the corridor rounded were the prying eyes of Andy and Curtis spying on the reunion. They were slapping at each other like children stupidly gawking at your appearance and poking fun at their friend and how he managed to pull this off. Taking mental notes on what to give Trent a hard time about when they returned to training.

“C’mere baby,” Trent kissed you once more before slowly letting you slide down his body back to stand on your own two feet.

“Never letting you go again.” He said, your eyes unable to break from his. You missed his gorgeous face now able to really see tiny freckles, a dimple in his smile, the warm hue in his eyes.

“Pretty, pretty boy” you cooed, stroking your hand over his high cheekbone before cupping his cheek. “Never. Ever.” You punctuated with another kiss.

He slid his hands up and down your arms, feeling your skin, his eyes inspecting every inch, taking all of you in, before his fingers dragged down to lace between yours.

“Coming home with me?” He asked a question he didn’t need to. You were impetuous to be anywhere near him tonight.

“Yeah huh” you nodded eagerly like a child.

“So you wanna go, beautiful?” He asked calmly, feeling anything but.

“Please” you gave him a devastatingly innocent look.

“Come on sweet girl.” He pulled you into his chest, arms wrapping tight around you, placing a kiss on your forehead. He released you a little squeezing your hand, keeping his intertwined with yours pulling it along with his arm to wrap around your waist, yours comfortablely but awkwardly bending with his. You leaned your head into him as you walked down the corridor towards the player’s car park.

“Baby, I didn’t even get to tell you how amazing you were tonight. Was such a good start, no?” You cooed, pulling at his arm, unable to take your eyes off him, proud of him.

“Yeah, was good. I just liked having you there. Did you have an okay time?” He asked sincerely “over here” he interjected, first directing you towards his car.

“Yeah, course.” You confirmed “so, do you blow kisses to every girl you bring, T?” you asked teasing but were quite serious needing to know because the little action had your stomach doing flips. You needed to know if it meant anything to him or not. He let go of you, resting his hand on his car leaning towards you, his face coming closer.

“Never. Would only do that for you.” He cooed before pressing his lips against yours softly. You just hummed pulling away finally taking a moment to look at a wider angle of your surroundings breaking from the tunnel vision you had just on his face. He was stunning, just jaw dropping beautiful. He was in a black Nike tech unzipped, opened, wearing a Liverpool t-shirt carrying his white Goyard wash bag. Everything about him was just so fresh, even the car he was leant on. It was sleek, the windows tinted almost opaque, everything matte black, not too different from his brothers although his was the latest Range Rover. His eyes bore into you watching you process the moment before interrupting your thoughts.

“Did I tell you how good you look?” His words laced with a little lust reaching out to pull at the hem of his jersey you had worn.

“You think?” You played coy swaying a little subtlety showing him your body.

“Don’t give me that, baby.” He rolled his eyes thinking of all the times he practically begged you to believe that he thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world. “Get in” he said, walking to the car door, opening it for you. You popped in eagerly. There was something kind of sexy about a man driving so you were preemptively turned on by the idea of Trent in the driver's seat. He got in soon after throwing his bags into the back seat casually. He handed you his phone, the Spotify app opened.

“All you, beautiful” he nodded implying you were going to be DJ. You hummed in agreement scrolling. You liked that he trusted you with his phone openly. It was a bare minimum thing but it felt reassuring. He pulled out of the car park with one hand on the wheel, you picked a song and your eyes grazed over the veins that appeared on his forearm but they were quick to drop to the sly tale buldge in his lap, the thought of him had you just about drooling. He smiled, catching your lude stare. You slide your hand over his leg, high up on his thigh, dangerously close to his dick. Your nails dug into his joggers playfully. You watched him grip the wheel tighter at the contact. Even the simplest touch from you had him collapsing.

You were pulling out of the stadium where it was dark but you could still see masses of people outside. With his free hand Trent grabbed at your hand stopping you from stroking your fingers against his inner thigh.

“Like it?” He said peeling your hand off him, his finger stroking across the ring with his initials he had gotten you. He then laced his fingers with yours, pressing the back of your hand to his lips holding it there.

“I love it. You didn’t have…” you were stopped mid sentence when a massive flash went off almost blinding you, your vision going white for a moment. You squeezed Trent’s hand hard in response, he lowered them from his lips as smaller shutters began to light up the car.

“Okay?” He asked calmly, ever composed.

“What the fuck. Insane… Is this normal?” You were utterly shocked, Trent just hummed a yeah to answer you. “Could’ve warned me a little, I feel like I’m going blind now.” You tried to joke but also were genuinely a little shaken. You blinked your eyes stunned trying to clear the white floating specs.

“It’s just like a thing when we leave, people wait around I guess for a photo. Sorry.” He apologized for something out of his control. You had driven out of the tightly lined streets surrounding the stadium when you managed to relax a little after the distress. You were quickly gathering what it was like to be in Trent’s world.

Your hand was back on his thigh, some J Cole song played through the car, you could tell Trent was absolutely exhausted. You didn’t pester him with more questions even though your head was filled with them, especially about the flash of photos taken leaving the stadium. You had been in the car for about 30 odd minutes when you got off a motorway pulling to a traffic light.

“Almost home” he broke the comfortable silence, leaning over to kiss your temple. His hand now resting atop yours. Maybe it was because you were also tired or because it was so dark but the roads seemed winding. He was taking a final turn onto his street when you reached over to place a kiss on his cheek.

“Tired?” You questioned simply in a soft quiet voice.

“Completely knackered” he replied in a similar tone. It almost made you sad but he spoke again before you could really dwell on it. “Glad you’re back with me though,” he assured you. Finally pulling into a long driveway, a massive house tucked far back at the end of it.

“Your house is so nice” you said plainly. Clearly you both were worn out as your conversation had slowed from flirting to just blank observations.

“It’s dark, you can barely see it, what are you on about?” He said with a familiar cheeky smile reappearing on his face.

“I can still tell!” You poorly defended your comment. He parked the car next to what felt like 10 others assuming there must be a lot of people here. He hopped out and came round to your door, opening it. He waited for you with his arms open.

“C’mere, yeah? Missed you so much.” He cooed, placing a kiss to your lips before letting you go, opening the other door to grab his things. You walked to the front of the house slowly, you because of nerves, Trent because he was sore. He unlocked the front door and gestured for you to step in first. A few lights were on and it was mostly quiet, but you could hear murmuring on a TV somewhere when you entered, a little surprised given the amount of cars. Trent dropped his bags immediately at the front door like a school boy, sighing. He grabbed your waist nuzzling into your neck but didn’t say anything.

“I don’t want to mess with your post match routine, so do what you have to do.” You spoke honestly not wanting to disrupt him.

“That include you?” He said toying with you before pressing a kiss behind your ear, his hand pulling at the waist of your pants only to let go and walk away.

“Hey!” You whined at the loss of contact and followed after him desperately. “Is ‘doing’ a girl usually a part of your routine?” You pretended to ask seriously with emphasis on the verb he had played on before.

“No, baby” he giggled entering his kitchen, grabbing a water, after offering you one silently.

“So do you just go to bed now or…?” You probed. He wasn’t talking much so you were grasping at straws at what to do. He wasn’t though, he was so cool and collected in the comfort of his home.

“Nah, my mind is racing right now, processing everything, minute by minute but my body is just done so I usually lay down. Go to the cinema room… any interest?” He spoke candidly at first and then a cheeky grin swept across his face before he asked about your interest level.

“Yuck! With you?” You pretended to be grossed out making a face playfully before he grabbed your waist ignoring you. You allowed him to push you around his house, walking with you in front of him, slapping at your ass on the way. He brought out such a childish side of you. You guys were mostly quiet knowing other people were home and it was late but giggles definitely echoed through the halls.

Trent collapsed onto a obscenely wide lounge chair, it was essentially a couch but he would say otherwise. There were a few of them tiered like a theater, framed jerseys hung on the walls, and the biggest tv screen you’ve ever seen in your life illuminated the otherwise fairly dark room. You sat on the corner edge away from him suddenly feeling your nerves take over..

“What you doing? Stop being weird and c’mere. I’m too tired to come and have to grab you.” Trent was cute but lazy, holding the remote.

“Stop! I’m nervous” you said embarrassed. He rolled his eyes before pouting his full lips, his puppy dog eyes sucking you in, silently begging you to come to him. You basically crawled across the chair before snuggling up into his side. His arm draped around you pulling you into him, your cheek laying on his chest. He pressed kisses to the top of your head and you gently placed your leg over his body. You were wrapped around him and had no intention of letting go.

“I never knew I would miss a cuddle this much” he muffled into your hair. “What do you wanna watch?” He said, holding you impossibly tight.

“I’m okay with anything. I just want to be close to you.”

“Yeah? Need you just a little closer, baby” he said pulling you further into his body. You nuzzled your face into his chest some more, shy at his sweet words.

“I’ve been watching this one show and…” Trent began to ramble, clear that now that his body could relax after the match, his racing mind was now spilling out. He talked so fast to you about something but it went in one ear and out the other unintentionally. You just looked up at him lost watching his perfect lips move, his big eyes light up, while you scratched your nails against the facial hair on his chin. Something you had quickly discovered that Trent had kept hidden from his media persona was just how nerdy he actually was. He was such a dork. You gushed over his beautiful animated face talked about something he knew way too much about.

“Like can you believe that?” His question caught you off guard.

“Yeah” you mused, still scratching his chin just yessing the pretty boy. Your head fell back into his chest, your hand too, your cheek squished into him more from the weight of his arm atop pressing into you. He would make small comments throughout the show filling you in about something important or who a character was but you were fighting to keep your eyes open. It was so warm and comfortable in his embrace. In a sleepy state, you pulled the hem of his t-shirt up, your nails now drawing over his abs absentmindedly. Although your thoughtless touch wasn't going unnoticed by Trent. He was starting to get hard just at your hands proximity to his cock but the patterns you were tracing on his skin slowed, stopping entirely as you dozed off pacified by his scent and his hand running up and down your spine. When you didn’t even hum a response to one of his questions, he leaned forward a little peering around you only to see your eyes had closed, your features now softened. You looked like an angel, he held you tighter kissing your head in disbelief at how he felt about you. You were all consuming.

“You’re mine baby, not letting you go. You’re absolutely perfect” he whispered to you, asleep peacefully.

“Bro, what a game though!” Marcel just about yelled walking into the cinema room. Causing Trent to snap his head towards the doorway, then quickly back to you, nervous his brother's voice might have disturbed you.

“Yeah, I thought it went well,” Trent replied in a much quieter, gentler tone holding you to him, his hand still rubbing your back.

“Shit, sorry,” Marcel said softer now, seeing you cuddled up not moving.

“You’re good. She’s been out. I was just working the hours in my head, she’s been up for ages.” His brows furrowed, face scrunching trying to do the math.

“Bless” his brother's thoughtful response surprised him but you seemed to have that effect on people where you just grew and grew seeping into their hearts.

“Yeah” Trent said just staring at you. His hand moving to tuck a piece of hair out of your face.

“We actually had a good time tonight, ya know?” Marcel filled his brother in on your time spent together. His heart warmed that you fit so nicely into his life and right now in his arms.

“This is actually the best I’ve ever felt post-match, not sure if it was the new fitness program or what…” Trent said trailing off trying to distract Marcel from seeing him be so tender, rapidly falling more for you in front of him.

“Yeah, that’s what it is…” Marcel rolled his eyes, the evident change in Trent’s routine wasn’t fitness it was tucked in his arms. Trent knew he was caught out but that didn’t stop him from continuing to pepper kisses on your forehead he thought were subtle. The boys fell silent soon avoiding the subject of Trent’s obvious feelings.

Eventually, Marcel headed to bed leaving Trent still completely intertwined and enthralled with you. The episode he was watching concluded and he decided his night should too. Contrary to what he first thought, Trent was okay just going to sleep with you in his arms but he wasn't going to let you sleep downstairs, you needed a proper bed.

“Baby” he whispered, placing light kisses all over your face but you didn’t budge, only further settling into him.

“Baby, come..” he cooed, attempting to peel your arms from his body. “Let’s go.” He tried speaking once more, finding a bit more success this time.

“Hmm?” You hummed lifting your head a little bit only to place your chin back down on his chest.

“Let’s go” he tried once more, this time your eyes more open fixating on him. It dawned on you staring into his darkening brown eyes that your hand was still under Trent’s shirt dangerously close to the waistband of his joggers.

“Where T?” you said sleepily but there was a little fire behind your tired eyes. His intention of just sleeping tonight was changing.

“My room.” He told you sternly but feigned a terrible effort to move you off him. He could easily just pick you up if he wanted. He instead conceded to your stubbornness that was laced with obvious desire letting you now play with the drawstring of his joggers.

“So you wanna sleep with me?” You mused, pressing your hips down into him. You rolled your body in to his, his hands stroking down your sides to grab the bottom of your top starting to fuss with it, teasing you.

“I want you in my bed.” He looked at you now with passion igniting behind his eyes before his lips came crashing into yours. You were like messy teenagers making out in his house, your hand more bravely slipping down into his pants.

“We’re going to bed now” pulling away, he sat up, taking your hand away and you off him, calming the steamy situation you were trying to start. You moaned, biting back trying to grab his lip with your teeth. He just shook his head at your lack of restraint but he was loving every second of it. Feeding his ego ravenously.

Standing up, he finally used actual strength to pull you up too from the chair. You stumbled a little bit still sleepy so he wrapped his arms around you to steady you only to start another heated kiss. Your hands pulling at his clothes, you remembered you were wearing fancy lingerie when you felt it absolutely soaked between your thighs. You moaned into his mouth.

“Gimme” you giggled greedily and childishly trying to get his shirt off, only for him to shut you down.

“Nah, baby. My bed now.” He said it so aggressively it should’ve felt hurtful or like an insult but instead it had you even more desperate for him.

He grabbed both your shoulders harshly and physically turned you away from him, his hand coming to grip your ass, his lips to your neck.

“Do you wanna go to my bed, baby?” You felt his breath on your neck, your pussy flutter. You tried to suppress a moan but failed miserably

“Yeah” you whimpered quietly, your hand reaching behind you to grab onto his body only to be swatted away. You walked out of the room obediently, he trailed you, his last name still on your back making way to his room had him struggling to focus on getting up the stairs. You two were fairly quiet navigating through the dimly lit house. You’d turn back to him looking for directions not knowing where you were going. He didn’t want to just tell you, having you under his command was getting him off.

•

Thank you for continuing reading! Let me know what you think 🤍

Next Part - Chapter 12 xx

#trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold imagines #you’re mine fic

[tiredfox64]

Little Red, Big Bad Chaos

Prior notes: Ah yes look at me use my homework for a piece of fanfic. Let me just forget how I connected Little Red Cap to being about womanhood (I bet it ain’t but my professor just wanted an analysis essay)

Pairing: Havik x Afab Reader

Warnings ‼️: NSFW, semi public sex or nature sex (one with the trees), dry humping, biting (I know I never stop), creampie, nipple play, pain (like the good kind but only a bit)

Havik was pent up. Not even causing chaos or killing anybody made him feel relief. There had to be a different way to handle this. Luckily for him, you walked by.

Aren’t you just a pretty lady. And all by yourself? With such a red, velvet cloak that makes you stand out no less. Oh dear, you must be careful. Stay on the path and don’t talk to strangers. For if you should do so, you may well provide relief for an anarchist.

Collecting things from the nearby woods was enjoyable to you. That could be rocks, moss, flowers, herbs, mushrooms, maybe even frogs. So much to do. But unbeknownst to you, there was something dangerous lurking around, or someone. You heard the crunching of leaves and twigs behind you which made you turn around. No one comes around here, it’s usually just you.

You gasped once you saw Havik. His face was…mutilated. He seemed so tall. There were so many sharp objects on his body. He approached you slowly as if you were a deer ready to bolt away. He couldn’t have that happen, he needs you close.

“Aww, don’t be afraid. I just want to get a closer look at you.” You heard him speak in such a deep, gravely voice.

You flinched just hearing him speak. You froze up, unsure of how to handle this. Closer and closer he came. You started to see the scars on his body and just how messed up his face was. How could he still be alive you wondered.

“Who are you?” You asked with a quivering voice.

He just laughed at you with such a maniacal laugh. It made you even more uneasy yet you still wouldn’t more.

“Don’t worry about that. You will know of me very soon. I just want to get a good look at how pretty you are.”

You swallowed hard as Havik came right up to you. You had to look up at him that’s how tall he was. The only way you could think of get out of this is by acting polite.

“Oh well, thank you. You seem like a very…handsome man. But I must get going now.” You tried to excuse yourself.

Havik didn’t move but just stared as you walked away. He was already planning ways to get close to you. Real close to you.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

You still walked the same path, but you tried to ignore Havik. Sometimes he would speak, sometimes he would stay quiet. He’d walk behind you with a bit of distance. You felt like you were being hunted but maybe ignoring him more will do the trick. Ehh, not really. I mean in a way you almost started seeing him like a stray dog. He seems so vicious but will start to randomly follow you.

He was way too pent up by this point. It’s amazing he has some patience and strength to hold himself back from pouncing on you. The thing is he can’t risk scaring you away. You’re the only one who didn’t run away and never return after seeing him. You’re the easiest prey and that’s all he needs.

You spot something on that ground that you can add to your collection, some other smooth rock or even an Indigo Milk Cap. You made the mistake of bending over to collect your newest addition to your collection. That’s when you felt a pair of hands grab your hips. Any guesses on who those hands belong to?

You didn’t even flinch or stand back up. At this point you expected behavior like that. You just kept ignoring Havik and collected your items. But you couldn’t ignore when you felt him start to hump you. He really was like a dog.

Because you didn’t react, Havik thought he could do whatever. He took that opportunity to give himself relief. His clothed cock rubbed against your ass. Havik needed much more than that but this will have to do for now. You could hear him groaning as he continued to hump you. Alright, probably a good time to say something. You brought yourself back up to a standing position before speaking.

“Is there something you need?” You asked as politely as you could.

“Isn’t it obvious.” He answered, plain and simple.

He could have at least responded a little nicer. But you were left thinking of what to do. If this is what he’s been wanting well what would happen if you just gave him what he wants? He could keep returning to you for more. But he could also leave you be after he gets what he wants. The next time he gets pent up maybe the usual stuff like causing chaos will actually relieve him. You’re weighting your options here that you just say fuck it. No one needs to know what you have done.

“Are you trying to get more out of me?” You asked yet you received no verbal reply. Instead Havik decided to just bend you over again and tried to tear off any piece of clothing he could.

“Alright wait-!”

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

Your beautiful red, velvet cloak laid nicely folded on a tree stump with your basket of items on top of it. That’s the only thing you could manage to take off nicely before Havik got impatient and just teared whatever he could.

The woods are usually filled with leaves rustling and the birds chirping. But now there is the addition of moans, groans, and skin slapping together.

You held onto the tree in front of you as Havik rammed into you. His hands gripped your ass as he watched his cock go in and out of your pussy. His eyes couldn’t look away from your wetness that coated his cock. How easy it slipped in and made a wet sound when being pulled out.

You’re not fully regretting this decision. It is pretty exciting being out in nature and having you being pounded into. And Havik did have an impressive size. You practically announced it to the flora when you saw it. You’re only regretting who you are doing it with. Havik is still a stranger to you. But you can easy forget that every time he slides back in.

His body was pressed up against yours as his hands went to grab your breasts. You groaned at the feel of it. His hands were so rough, especially the one that had some sort of clawed glove on it. The claws pricked at your skin before going to your nipples. You winced in pain when he pinched them yet somehow it excited you more. Maybe cause he never stopped fucking you that’s why you got wetter. Whatever it was Havik enjoyed your reactions, even letting out a low malicious laugh. One nipple felt the roughness of his skin rubbing against it while the other dealt with metal claws pinching it. What a combo.

“I’ve never seen someone react like that to pain. I wonder if you will like this.” Havik said before pulling you closer to him and biting down on your shoulder.

That was the loudest you moaned from the whole experience. You couldn’t hide that fact you were loving this. Your pussy squeezed his cock when he bit you.

Havik might have just found his perfect lady. He was way too excited at this point and just start pounding into you hard. It was too much for you. His teeth that sunk into your skin, his hands still playing with your nipples, and of course his large cock fucking you. Well how could you not cum all over it. And how could he not cum right inside you. It’s just how nature goes.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

It took a bit of effort to get Havik to pull out of you. He did not wanna budge. He didn’t say it out loud but he wanted to keep his cum inside of you for as long as he could. When you did manage to make him pull out his cum slowly start to drip down your legs, forcing you to quickly put your pants back on.

The prick tore your clothes up a good amount. He was too impatient. Luckily, you still had your red cloak to cover yourself up with. Better cover up that bite mark. You did your best not to look so disheveled and like you just had sex in the woods.

“Well…I must be on my way. You have a good day.” You still acted polite with Havik even after that experience.

He watched as you slowly walked away. You will return to the same path. This path is the best place to find items for your collection, so why move. Plus, you are hoping to find Havik again someday. Maybe not soon but someday. And Havik has the same thing in mind. He got his relief and he doesn’t expect to get this certain craving for a long time. But damn did he love your reactions. He’ll return soon and enjoy his lady in red again.

After notes: …if I see a hint of orange come rolling in I’m scattering to the wind…🦊. Ah, got to the end and realized I ain’t learn anything in my analysis class, I am scum. Anyway I’m meal prepping these fanfics cause I gotta work on my Kobold. I hope I can please the Havik girlies with this. He gives me post ovulation clarity and I don’t even ovulate, I’m not broken just on the pill. Have fun fools. Adiós!

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat 1 #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat x you #mortal kombat1 #mk x reader #mk x you #mk smut #mk fanfic #havik #mk havik #mortal kombat havik #havik x reader #havik x you #havik smut #mk1

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

Meet the Parents Part 1

Okay! So, someone requested to talk about Gwen’s scenes with both of Miles’ parents, and I thought it would be nice to do something a bit more light.

As always, we start a bit early.

(Also, this post has been needed to be redone THREE TIMES because tumblr keeps thinking I want to delete the entire post while I am just trying to delete a screenshot or a line.)

This part is something I wanted to mention here because 1) I don’t have that much to say about it to make it a post, but still wanted to mention it, and 2) I just think is nice.

Gwen quickly apologizes to Miles about snapping to him like that. I think this is great because while it is a small thing, I feel is nice and realistic that Gwen can quickly admit that she shouldn’t have done that. I feel in any other piece of media Gwen would had stayed mad or made Miles apologize (or maybe one from just a few years ago, I am traumatized by the stuff I watched as a kid.) But she doesn’t have that kind of pride, which I like.

Besides, I think Gwen didn’t want to waste time on stuff like that. The watch is fine, nothing happened; she wouldn’t want to ruin the mood over this.  

Yeah Miles didn’t really seem to care that much anyways, and of course I notice Miles looking at Gwen lips. And considering where Gwen is looking, I believe she may have notice that too.

Do I think he was going to go for it? Maybe, I think he would have definitely tried if they had a few minutes together and didn’t think anybody was watching, I don’t have any strong evidence for this one other that I do think he was trying to get closer not to try at that moment, but maybe find a way to get close enough to do it.

No idea if it would had happened or not, I think even if I believe Gwen is trying to not start something between them (not today at least,) I am not sure Gwen would had refused. Again, the girl is whipped.

Oh boy, I can't never watch this scene without feeling so bad for Miles and Gwen, to be honest I don't know which one I feel worse on this scene.

Obviously Rio and Jeff aren't trying to mess up stuff on purpose (At least I don't think neither of them expected Miles to care this much, or for Gwen to needing to leave as she did.)

But imagine being in the position, going with the assumption that they were having a moment (that may or may not lead to kiss, I think they needed just a few more moments for have the proper mood, but that's just me.) And then your mom/the mom of your crush pops in out of nowhere.

Little sidenote, does neither of them have super hearing?

Perhaps super hearing is too much, but for what I remember their sense are heightened, including sound.

This has been showcased in other spiderman properties in other ways, and part of the reason I thought they had it (or at least Miles,) was because later, when Spot is whispering to himself that he is going to be much more than a villain of the week, Miles hears him.

And this is with Gwen and Pavitr screaming as they hit the shield who also makes noise when hit.

For me when I saw that scene I was like "Wait how did he- Oh yeah, super hearing."

Maybe it was just for a joke and I am thinking this too much, but for me it meant that their hearing is better than average.

Which leads me to...how lost in their own world were these two that they didn't Rio coming in; specially since I think because is not a regular staircase but a ladder, being talking quietly to themselves, they should had hear it.

Guess they were too busy focusing on something else.

I literally watched this multiple times in slow motion to make sure I wasn't imagining things, and then a couple of times at regular speed to make sure this was something that you were meant to catch.

You know? Something funny that happens in a lot of these posts, is that I do an analysis because I thought may be fun or someone requested it, but I think to myself "It will probably be boring, what is there to analyze or catch on this one?"

And then I start looking things at slow motion and be like no fucking way.

I love this because you can actually see that Gwen is actually nervous around Miles' parents.

Yes this isn't necessarily new information, specially watching the rest of the scene; but I what I liked about seeing this in slow motion is that you can see how Gwen goes from the surprise, to trying to act as if she didn't get spooked, to preparing herself to present herself to Miles's mon.

That's really the part that I found most interesting, how Gwen looks down for a second in what it seems she is taking a deep breath before smiling and presenting herself to Rio.

I also love how during all of this Rio doesn't stop looking at Gwen (After all I am sure this is the first girl Miles had brought,) and Miles is just lamenting this is his life.

Another thing I want to bring up while we are here, is that while in another previous scene Rio and Jeff were judging Gwen (I think it was just overprotectiveness, even if I don't think it was nice or fair for them to do so,) in these shots when Rio is trying to meet Gwen, she is trying to smile very friendly and act as normal as she can while looking so awkward.

While she probably still is judging a bit in this moment, I think she was trying to at least act nice and warm because first presentations are important.

Then Gwen puts her foot in her mouth.

Okay, story time.

I am from Latin America (not Puerto Rico, but there are some cultural similarities in certain aspects;) and I remember an american friend of mine, who didn't really understand what was the big deal about Gwen using Rio's first time.

Me, and another latino friend (he was born in America but his background is Mexican,) were just mildly horrified and not just because this was established earlier (which honestly? Smart move from the movie really.)

Here is the thing, how this works depends from the culture, if the parents are immigrants themselves, children of immigrants, and also the type of environment they grew up and how they are as a person.

But for me, my friend, and a bunch of other latine people I know, you would either need to say Mr or Mrs (last name,) or (First name.) In my case, using a last name or first time depended from where I knew this adult (friend of the family, the parent of one of my friends, coworker of one of my parents, etc.)

Considering Gwen is a teen and she is "friends" with Miles and just meeting him, growing up for me I would had needed to use Mr and Mrs Morales until they told me to call them something else, if that got to happen. It would be important that I wait for them to tell me so or I would have my mother chiding at me for being disrespectful.

I am bringing this up because again, my american friend didn't know why Miles's parents were being so hard about this, but for me it made this scene all more investing by the fact that I was on the other side of this cultural discussion.

(Again, take this with a grain of salt. Rio looks like she moved from Puerto Rico to New York a good while now, and for what I gather Jeff and Aaron were born and raise in New York. So how they do things may still be different that what I can talk by personal experience.)

Also I brought those frames of Rio because 1) We see the exact moment Miles knew Gwen fucked up, and 2) While still smiling and looking cordial, we can see the shift in Rio's face.

This is important because Gwen is trying to talk warmly and excited, how she has heard so much about her and knows her first name even if Miles never officially present them.

Meanwhile Rio is probably thinking that 1) This girl cannot just be calling her by her first name just from minute and 2) Oh yeah knows her so well and doesn't know she and Jeff hate that.

Small thing, but I like how Miles goes beside Gwen as soon as he gets his mom properly standing on the water tower.

Yes, it makes sense because this is the "friend" he is presenting and he of course wants to make sure everything runs smoothly with his parents because, feelings aside, one of the friends he always talks but never shows up is finally here and he doesn't want any issues from either side.

I still adore that he went to get beside his girl as soon as possible.

We already talked about Gwen messing up by calling Rio by her first name, so I will not dwell into that.

Something I like about this scene is that when Rio and Jeff first realize Miles isn't in her room, Jeff storms up but Rio stares at the sweater. I believe this is because she was the one who notice it was from someone else while Jeff thought Miles just dipped.

Which brings me to Miles and Gwen's expression here.

Is not a huge reaction but if you watch this scene close you can realize Miles and Gwen were mildly surprised by Rio bringing this; now while it could be just at Rio having the sweater, my theory is that they are both thinking into

1) Gwen's hero costume is probably in Miles' room, considering she has a shirt showing her arms she actually is going to change to her suit later rather than having below her regular clothes like Miles.

2) They are realizing that they got into the room at one point that they didn't know, meaning they could had been caught when Gwen broke gravity for a few moments to open the portal.

3) They are both wondering if Miles' parents may think there is more going on between them because hey how often do you find clothes in your son's room of someone who you don't know, while not knowing how long that garment has been there?

Maybe there are more options that I am not thinking but for now this is what I am going with.

Brief side note but Jeff, what are you doing.

We saw Rio come from the centre, where we later see Miles go down a ladder; meanwhile Jeff instead of using that one (Even if Rio isn't on the ladder anymore and could just come behind her.) is going by one of the legs of the water tower.

He even hit his head while doing this.

I am starting to understand where Miles got his half-second thinking that normally pans well enough but not all the time or working all the way in some cases. Jeff you cannot talk shit about your kid you are the one that when having an available ladder decided to pull a Rambo and climb.

Jokes aside, is interesting how in a way, this confirms neither one here knows what to do in this situation.

Gwen is nervously trying to act out as a responsible nice girl without realizing that cultural differences can make you look disrespectful even when you are trying to be friendly.

Miles is watching this as passively as he can while probably thinking to himself that maybe Kingpin killing him didn't sound so bad right now (I know that would be my thought process if I was in his shoes.)

Rio came almost out of nowhere while looking at Gwen non-stop in a way that makes her look a bit insane when you see it closely.

And Jeff apparently needed to establish himself as someone who doesn't need to use a ladder and is completely fine after hitting his head with a random tube; is okay it was all part of the plan.

Nobody here knows what they are doing but pretend everything is fine, is hilarious.

Gwen still doesn't catches onto that being a no-no and Miles is just looking at the situation unfold but no idea what to do.

I think this is a good time as any to mention something that we all notice but I am still thankful for it: More Gwen screen time.

In the first movie, we got to see Gwen get awkward, but because the focus was mostly on Miles and Peter B, as well as being a significantly shorter movie than this one; the only significant time we see Gwen being kind of a mess while when she was trying to pretend she was a student.

This altogether makes sense because regardless if she has been Spiderwoman for two years now, she probably has never needed to infiltrate in a school and spend some days there. For me it felt plausible she was overall a collected and cool character that only stumbles in really out of there situations that no one would be sure how to do without warning.

This movie? Oh no, Gwen is just that awkward.

I think is important to highlight that 1) She didn't have too many friends, we only get multiple mentions of Peter from her past, not other friends, meaning she probably only was close to Peter and anyone else was just in o-kay terms for school but not much else, and 2) Since she has only needed to deal with May Parker; she isn't sure how to present herself when talking to the friend's parents.

Let alone the guy she is currently crushing on.

(I bet anything that at this point Miles was thinking "Oh is just downhill from here isn't?")

We talked about Gwen, let's talk about Rio and Jeff.

While I do want to have a post about them and what they do in this movie; I want to preface this by saying that while I don't approve how they are behaving here, I can get it.

Is not the worst I had seen (specially in real life, I had seen presentations like Gwen's go SO much worse.)

Rio and Jeff have no idea what going on with Miles, they notice there are lies, he is missing classes, and being unreliable; they don't know what to think. And the fact that he mentioned a bunch of names of people he claims to know but are never around, makes it look like Miles is making people up just to keep them distracting.

And then one of those mysterious people show up.

Miles is 15, and has been Spiderman for a year, while struggling to balance his personal life and his hero life. Regardless that he is head over heels for Gwen, I think is safe to say Miles never attempted to bring a girl or talk about a girl before this, because even if the girl he is crushing on wasn't in another dimension; there is no way this boy found time to date.

Which makes the other viable conclusion that Miles has been hiding this girl because she is up to no good; and doesn't help that she looks older.

(Canonically, she is 15 months older than Miles, meaning she is 16 or 17 at the latest. I think Rio was being catty when she said Gwen looked old enough to vote, but she is not that far off that range, and I could believe Gwen looks older because she is stress out for obvious reasons.)

Is not nice for Jeff and Rio to assume Gwen is automatically the reason why Miles is doing the things he is doing, but is not the craziest of conclusions.

And like they both admit later in the movie; neither Rio nor Jeff are sure how to take care of Miles now that he isn't a kid but is not an adult either.

Everyone is struggling here really.

For me, this a very face palm moment in a way, but I also think is just makes sense.

Once again, Gwen thinks she has this in the bag; her dad is a captain, she probably has met her dad's coworkers before and get along well, she probably had this exact joke with the previous Police Captain. And it was never an issue because they met her in the quality as the daughter of one of their coworkers.

But Gwen is not being judged by those standards anymore, and her dad's coworkers don't behave the same way Miles' parents do.

So I think Gwen is just trying to be chill and do the things that had work in the past, but really she isn't sure what she is doing (and I do believe Gwen is noticing this is not going smoothly,) and trying stick with the usual is somehow making things worse.

Miles finally talks in this conversation (Earlier he was just saying something to himself,) and trying to salvage this the best he can.

You know? After seeing Gwen trying to act casual and failing, Rio coming out of nowhere, and Jeff trying to act tough in ridiculous circumstances; Miles is probably the most normal one here.

He has also stuck up with Gwen's fake name; I wonder if he is trying to keep this consistent in the case Gwen used her fake name with other people in this universe and the teachers at the academy may remember her with that name.

(I don't know what's worse, that the teachers didn't notice a complete new student that came out of nowhere, with no records or similar. Or the fact that Gwen decided to use a fake name despite not being from this dimension, meaning there is nothing tracing her back; at best she was trying to avoid being linked with this universe's Gwen Stacy.)

Couldn't catch a good screenshot because this was movement, but before she said those words she was nodding a little; which I interpret as "Oh thank fuck he remembered that lie because I am not sure what to say anymore with them."

Guess who, once again, put too many images and made the post way too long. Yep.

I swear I don't know how I keep doing this.

Will post the second part of this particular scene today, hope you guys enjoy it despite how long it is!

PART 2

#ghostflower #gwiles #miles morales #gwen stacy #atsv spoilers #rio morales #jeff morales #atsv #across the spiderverse #ghostflower files #across the spiderverse spoilers #why is that every time I think it would be a short and simple post #i end up doing this

[giac222]

I have to be honest, the Reddit TCOAAL community has some of the worst takes on the game I’ve ever seen. 💀 I kind of talked about this already in a previous post I’ve made on here. That’s why I like the Tumblr community sooo much more.

This post will probably be kind of long and messy, so sorry in advance. Anyway, let’s get into it.

Here’s a screenshot of the comment that inspired this post. 😂

This was in response to someone’s post about the vision in the questionable route. After seeing Andrew’s relationship with Julia and how little he cared about her, I don’t know how anyone could think he’d be able to have a normal/healthy romantic relationship with someone. I’ve literally seen people make excuses for him defending Ashley the way he did in the flashback with Julia while she was raising genuine concern. I saw someone say “well Ashley had him by the balls, if he said anything else he would have been screwed.” like be serious, he defended Ashley because he wanted to and has always cared about her more. I mean he literally lied to Julia’s face about Nina’s death, her best friend. 😬

This is what bothers me, when people act like Ashley is solely the problem and that Andrew did nothing wrong at all. Let’s be real, Andrew is the one driving Ashley’s worst behavior. He blames her for “making” him do things. He obviously can’t be guilty, so he needs something from the outside to blame (Ashley). As I’ve said in my previous analysis, they are both flawed individuals, they are the same. They are both toxic but they do really love each other.

Despite what these people say, Ashley is the love of Andrew’s life. He would never just leave her in the dust even if she doesn’t sleep with him. Mind you the two of them have never slept together and you can still see how devoted Andrew is to her, even if Ashley herself doesn’t see it yet.

This is literally how he looked at her when she woke up after he thought he was going to have to take her to the hospital 🥺. I don’t want to hear any nonsense about him ditching Ashley or how he should leave her for good. 💀

In the Decay route vision when Ashley lets him kill her, he says “then I’ll see you in a bit.” Meaning that he’s going to follow her in death. Andrew wouldn’t want to live without her. Anyone who’s played the game knows one can’t live without the other, period. We know that they have a toxic codependent relationship, but it’s not only that way because of Ashley. It’s very annoying to see people act like it is. It’s literally both of them that contribute to it.

Are people just casually forgetting that even back when they were kids the game shows us that Andrew didn’t really care about Nina’s death, he was mostly worried about the consequences they would face if they got caught. Plus him grabbing Ashley and saying “guys and girls don’t go to the same prison, they’re going to take you away from me!!”. Also, before their blood oath Andrew literally contemplates if killing her would be worth it like hello??

In the game after Andrew brings up how their parents had friends, Ashley calls their parents whores and asks why they couldn’t be happy with just each other. He then responds by saying he never implied that they had sex, which causes her to say that it doesn’t matter and that it’s all the same. Ashley doesn’t see a difference between platonic and romantic love, to her it’s all the same. So yes, technically she does want romantic love from Andrew, she just wants his love period. In Decay when they’re on the bridge at the end of ch.2, she says something along the lines of “I’ll start when you love me with half of the heart that I love you with.” To say she only wants his attention and not his love is a damn lie. 💀

Anyway, when it comes to Ashley’s reaction to the vision in the questionable route, I didn’t see her as confused. To me it seems like she wasn’t expecting to see that as a vision, but at the same time she’s not really surprised. I mean she literally tells Andrew she assumed it would happen between them eventually anyway, so she’s definitely thought about it before. Earlier on when he gets her the Toxi Soda she asks him “What do you want in return? My virginity?” 😂 obviously she could just be joking there and nothing more but 👀… girl. LOL

Andrew’s reaction to the vision shows that he also wasn’t expecting it, except he was blushing harddd. He reacted the way he did because his thoughts just got exposed. The demon really said:

👁️ Andrew Graves I know what you are 👁️ lmao.

I think it’s fair to say that sex isn’t a big deal to Ashley, if her and Andrew never slept together I don’t think she’d really care, she also views sex as transactional. We see that in the questionable Burial route she thinks “the demon showed me one way to keep him around.” I’ve seen people on Reddit try to use this as a way to show that Ashley would never sleep with him out of love, and that she’d just do it so he’ll stick beside her, basically implying that she doesn’t actually love him….. 🤦🏻‍♀️ As I’ve mentioned already, sex isn’t a big deal to Ashley and she views it as transactional. However, her views on sex might change after her and Andrew fully cross the line. I hope what I’m saying makes sense. That maybe she’ll start seeing it as something out of love instead of something she has to do in order to keep him in her life, especially once she realizes that he loves her just as much as she loves him, and that he will always stick beside her.

I mean look at the way she’s looking at him in the vision. 😭

That is a look of pure love fr.

I talked about this in my last analysis, but people who act like Ashley is the big bad villain and that Andrew is an angel who’s done no wrong are just in denial, and dare I say misogynistic. 😶 I mean to go as far as implying that she doesn’t actually love Andrew…. be serious right now, you have officially lost the plot 💀 like that boy is literally the center of her world and she’s terrified of losing him. As she said herself, he’s her pride and joy. These people sound like those Breaking Bad fans that act like Skyler White is worse than Walter.

Most of these awful takes about the game stem from Reddit, then again Reddit is a total cesspool on it’s own. If people on the game’s subreddit aren’t sexualizing the shit out of Ashley (the things they say never fail to make me die of cringe), they’re blaming her for everything bad in the game. 🤦🏻‍♀️ ughhh.

I have such a soft spot for Ashley as a character, especially after seeing how she’s always been treated terribly by everyone around her except for Andrew. Also because of her very poor self esteem and how it’s hard for her to believe that she’s lovable, like I’m sick rn. 🥲🥲 So, I hate how people are sooo weird about her, like leave my girl alone please. 😭

~~

I feel like this post was all over the place oops. Thank you for reading. ❤️

Also, thank you to everyone for all the notes on my previous analysis post about TCOAAL. ☺️ I’m glad you guys agree with me!

#tcoaal #the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew x ashley #ashley x andrew #leyley x andy #andy x leyley #leyley graves #andy graves #ashley graves #andrew graves #coffincest #gravecest #nemlei #kit9 #kind of a rant post

[nightgoodomens]

I am very sorry but this was in the back of my mind and i just have to say it. It'll never be not funny to me how he talked about egg and chips with more passion than the mother of his children💀 (let alone David who clearly has his own place, the difference is so sky high it's unfair to compare.)

It's really disappointing how some decide to neglect and deny themselves the joy, from one of the most loving relationships out there just for the reason that it doesn't fit into society's norm boxes. Instead they drag the standards embarrassingly low, because they refuse to let go of the perfect image they crafted out of thin air or any modicum of truth.

Sometimes it makes me scarred to live in a society where "goals" for a healthy, happy relationship is reduced to diplomatic answers, we didn't want this but you meet who you meet ( uncanny resemblance to another couple iirc), unhappy content due to cameras being pushed into your face or tasteless insults in a medium you know they can't (or won't,due to dignity) get back at you. How can you say "love" when the man went out of his way to say "because of how we felt about each other" instead of simply saying now we love each other.

I think when he talked about that arrangement it was the only time there was no light in his eyes… With David he was shining, other questions you could see he was having fun too.

We know this fandom was in much denial for a while, but we have reached the point where they even pretend things aren’t there (Neil saying David and Michael are in love) yet saying they can see Michael and Anna are in love (a word Michael refuses to use for her yet easily gives to David, multiple times). They have created their own fantasy. And it’s extra funny because “shippers” are the bad guys basing their views on actual things that are said and the body language etc, whereas “real fans” now actually need to ignore things and put words in Michael’s mouth to keep their fantasy going. They don’t see how weird it is that AL is spending her day on social media looking for validation from strangers either. They don’t see how depressed David is looking and how GT is giving them break up songs. They don’t see DT growing more and more annoyed with GT acting more and more like a paparazzi. They don’t see GT blatantly undermining David’s accomplishments, or insulting him. They don’t see Michael looking sad in the selfies with just AL. They don’t see that it’s a different world if you switch to MS/DT instead. They ignore that it was said that the men are boyfriends. They ignore that Neil told them the men are still in love. They have an excuse for everything. Yet we are the ones making stuff up?

I do think there is some sort of irony in Michael and David starting their relationships with women in a very similar way. And I wonder if this is why David dislikes Anna so much, because seeing this shit playing out in front of him, with someone he deeply cares about, must sting.

Sometimes when I watch this fandom and their choice to use denial so bluntly… it kind of puts in perspective why so many people are in unhappy relationships and why so many people have relationships/marriages falling apart… A lot of people struggle with seeing what’s right in front of them. A bit extra, but you know how politicians can get people to believe lies so easily? Because they know people are gullible. A lot of people struggle to think for themselves and will join collective, sheep thinking to be part of the group. A lot of people are scared to say “actually…”. It’s easier to be part of a group. And some people simply are not capable of analysis. Especially when you give them what they want to see - Brexit is such a fantastic evidence on how you fool half of the country because majority of people do not think for themselves or check evidence. And if you give them what they want to hear? You’re in.

#NightGoodOmens talks PR #NightGoodOmens talks Michael and David

[fuwushiguro]

I. NEW ME!

CHAPTER SUMMARY : after a year out of the spotlight following a traumatic event, you’re about to take your first step back into it on a popular talk show. your whole team is counting on you to be perfect; but nobody is seeking perfection more than you.

WARNINGS : 18+ only, past trauma, mental health struggles, alcohol.

WORDS : 2.3k.

notes: loosely based off ‘The Idol’ which we all know is trash but I wanted to make my own (and hopefully more entertaining) version!

               MASTERLIST ┊ NEXT CHAPTER

“Are you sure about this? I know you feel like you’re gonna let everyone down if you don’t start putting yourself out there again, but—”

“Yuuji.” you interrupt him, grabbing his hand and smiling at him. There’s not a single ounce of sincerity in it. And if there’s anyone who’s going to notice, it’s Yuuji. He knows you better than you know yourself. “It’s fine, really.” you do your best to assure him.

The crushing weight of disappointing your entire team is heavy on your shoulders. As much as you’d like to run away, to hide, to cry… you stand firm.

“Alright…” he sighs, returning your insincere smile right back to you. He’s worried, of course he’s worried. But Lord knows you don’t need him putting any doubts in your mind, not now. You’re doing that enough for yourself. What you need now is positivity. Faith and belief that despite what you’ve been through, you can do this.

“Okay, two minutes to go, are you ready?” your manager, Taylor, asks you quickly. Before you can answer, there are more words spilling from her lips like it’s out of her control. “We love you, but please do not fuck this up.” she reminds you before walking away to tend to something else.

Your eyes turn glossy as your cheeks fill with air. You quickly exhale as you fan yourself, doing all you can to make sure the sudden appearance of some tears won’t roll over your lashline and ruin your makeup.

Just then, Yuuji grabs you by the shoulders, forcing you to face him.

“Listen to me.” he starts. “You’ve got this.”

You’ve been locked in your bedroom with a bottle of champagne since the interview. It went well, apparently, according to your team. And yet… for some reason, you feel dead inside. The sounds of cheers and celebrations can be heard throughout the house, and all you can do is drink your champagne directly from the bottle.

“Hey… can I come in?” you hear Yuuji ask sweetly from the other side of the door. You get up, walking to unlock the door and let him in. Your smile finally finds its way back to your face when you see him holding a pizza box. “Getting a pizza through here in one piece with a house full of drunk people shoulder be a new Olympic sport.” he grins and laughs a little.

“Very impressive, Yuuji.” you agree with him, you wait for him to enter and then quickly lock the door behind him. “I don’t actually remember agreeing to a party?” you confess.

“Taylor mentioned it. And… well, you know Taylor.” he reminds you. “Everyone thought it would look good for some reason… not sure if I agree with that but they never listen to me anyway.”

“Or me.” you chuckle, taking a slice as you sit beside him on top of the bed. “I’ve been watching the interview on repeat…” you go to grab the remote, but he takes it first.

He presses play, settling comfortably against the headboard as he pulls a slice for himself. You get close to him, he’s always so warm. And when you’re always so cold, it’s nice to be with him, despite the fact it always ends up in sibling-like fights when you press your freezing feet against him to make him jump. Though it isn’t on your mind right now. You’re worn out, defeated, and you can’t believe he actually wants to watch this.

You weren’t embarrassed to watch yourself when you were alone. It was more like analysis. Seeing what you did right and what you could improve on. The pressure of being perfect is enough to drive anyone insane. But after this, after everything, you know you have no choice but to be perfect.

The sound of your voice carries through the room as you laugh with the host as you talk. Yuuji is smiling softly as he observes, like he’s proud of you.

“You’ve got a new movie coming up, right?”

“Uh… yeah! Kinda, we’re starting filming in two weeks.” you smiled, and it was genuine. You were lapping up the way that the audience cheered at each and every word you said. Whether it be sincere or out of pity, it didn’t matter. You felt truly adored after worrying no one would remember you.

“You’re working alongside some big names, I’m sure you’re excited! Tell me a little about the movie.”

“Yeah, right! I’m the lead but I’m working with Megumi Fushiguro…” you pause perfectly to allow the audience to cheer at the name drop. There are a few wolf whistles too. “We’ve worked together before; I love working with him because he’s so talented and nice. He’s always super serious on set but between takes he’s a total sweetheart.” you giggled as you reminisce on the last film you worked on together.

“I love Megumi too we’ve had him on the show a few times.” the host smiled, agreeing. “Now I do recall dating rumours for you two…” they announced and looked to the audience, earning a slew of ‘oooh’s’ and laughter. You rolled your eyes and shook your head.

“No comment.” you wink, “No, but seriously, I’m focused on my career right now and I know Megumi is too. We’re professionals!” you laughed.

“Alright, alright.” The host laughed too. “The movie’s called ‘Assemble’, leaves a lot to the imagination, wanna tell me more about it?”

“Sure! It’s a horror, which is new for me. I know a lot of people don’t take horrors seriously, but I’ve always wanted to be a scream queen and I’m really excited to sink my teeth into a role like this. I don’t wanna say too much; I don’t think I’m allowed.” you laughed a little more awkwardly to try and placate the host and the audience.

“A horror, wow! I wouldn’t have expected that after what you went through last year.” the host spoke so casually. And at that moment, you think everyone watching could feel the way the air knocked out of your lungs. You began to fiddle with your fingers and look down at your lap as you considered what you should say.

You had never felt so small.

Not since it happened.

“Um… y-yeah. I mean… Like I said I’ve— I’ve wanted to do a horror for a long time. And things lined up well.” you nodded. “We have a great director and script. An amazing cast who I can’t wait to work with… It’s gonna be something special. I can feel it.” you told them, and the silence lasted a beat longer than you wanted it to, you couldn’t help but continue to speak. “I don’t want what happened to define me… It’s hard to talk about even though it was a year ago. But I’m more than what happened to me. I’m not the same person anymore, but I’m looking forward to learning who the new me is.”

You sniffle, hearing yourself say that. Really hearing it. You’ve played the clip so many times but that is the first time you’ve really heard yourself. It sounds so much more gallant than it really is. Because in truth, you’d go back to the old you in a heartbeat. You’d love the option to rewind to last year and change everything that happened.

Of course Yuuji noticed you starting to cry instantly, pausing the TV and putting an arm around you.

“I know you’re still struggling… maybe you should try therapy again.” he suggests.

“Maybe,” you sniff. “I just think it’s like… survivors’ guilt?” you tell him. “And I miss my dad so much. If I could trade places—”

“Don’t do that.” he chastises you. “I wish none of it happened, b-but… it did. And you’re doing great and I’m proud of you. And I know you don’t think so, but you crushed that interview.” he assures you. You smile at him, melting into his arms.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Yuuji.”

“Yeah, you’d never find another assistant as hard-working and good looking as me. You’d be doomed.” he grins, laughing a little as he speaks. You join in, finally deciding to wipe your tears and pull yourself together. “Let’s watch something else. Something… fun.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

You wake up the next morning, alone in the bed. Yuuji has tidied the room already and he’s opening your curtains for you. He laughs as you groan, the light burning your retinas. You sit up as you rub the sleep out of your eyes.

“Morning…” you grumble.

“Hey, I slept in my room by the way, don’t worry.” he tells you. “Everyone’s downstairs.”

“I’ve been off for a year and it wasn’t enough rest to prepare me for these hectic days again.” you sigh. “I didn’t know I had stuff to do today…”

“Uh… yeah, we’re doing a photoshoot here this afternoon. Makeup is coming in… an hour. Same with wardrobe, I think.” he tries to remember. “I left my phone in my room but I’ll go get it, Taylor wants you downstairs, like, now.” he reminds you.

You manage to pull yourself out of bed and put on a robe over the mismatched bra and panties you fell asleep wearing. The sight of you hungover and imperfect makes Taylor sigh as you come down the stairs. “You look gorgeous. Come sit.” she speaks, though you know she thinks otherwise. You slowly approach and she guides you outside to sit on the patio with her and the rest of your team.

“We want you to know how happy we are with your interview yesterday. It was perfect, really perfect.” your publicist tells you, making sure to butter you up as much as he can before moving on. “This is just the start though so we need to make sure it’s full steam ahead from now on.”

“You’re doing a shoot for Elle here this afternoon. You’ll get to show off the new place, talk a little about your recovery blah blah you know the deal.” Taylor speaks rapidly. “We just want you to know we’re all here for you for whatever you need to get through this transition back into the spotlight. It’s gonna be tough but we know you can do it.” she assures you.

“Thanks.”

“We all know perfection isn’t real, but, as close as you can get to it would be… well, perfect.” she adds. “So we’ll go over what you can and can’t discuss before the interview and—”

“Anyone order a big ass bouquet of flowers?” Yuuji shouts from inside, his voice booming through the house and out to the patio. Everyone stares as he signs for them and brings them from the front door all the way to you. He puts them down in front of you so that you can read the card.

Welcome back — love M x

You smirk as you keep the card close to your chest. Everyone is waiting with bated breath to hear who they’re from so the conversation can be over and they can get back to preparing you for this afternoon.

“I need to use the bathroom… don’t stop on my account.” you smile as you stand up. You pick up the flowers and hurry inside before anyone can object.

“Who were they from, Yuuji?” Taylor asks, which only earns him a shrug in return.

The house is full of liars on days like this. Taylor lied about you looking gorgeous just as easily as you lied about needing the bathroom. But neither of you are as good at lying as Yuuji. He knew damn well the flowers were from Megumi.

He just thinks you deserve a little time for yourself.

You don’t care that everyone can see you inside leaning against the bar in your lounge as the FaceTime dial rings and rings. There’s a real smile on your face that you cannot seem to wipe off your face as you gush over the fact he sent you flowers. The biggest bunch of flowers you’ve ever seen.

“Hey you.” he smiles, shirtless in his bed as he answers. The sharpness of his jaw and his pronounced collarbones remind you just how handsome he really is. “It’s been a little while, you okay?”

“I just got your flowers…” you tell him as you show him. “They’re stunning, thank you.”

“No problem, I saw your interview. How are you feeling?” he asks.

“I’m good, yeah. Getting lots of praise so I can’t complain.” you nod, leaning on the bar again. “I didn’t get you in any trouble for what I said, did I?” you wonder, he shakes his head which is a huge relief.

“It was just a joke so, no, no trouble at all. I was in London for a week, but I’m back now. I’m in a hotel.”

“Oh, really? Why aren’t you at your place?” you ask, curiously.

“I was gonna go home but I got warned there was paparazzi waiting for me, so I came here.” he explains. “I was thinking you could come over and run lines with me later.” he smirks as he gets out of bed. He’s walking, and you realise when he switches on a light he’s in the bathroom.

You can’t help but smirk, too, knowing what running lines will likely lead to.

“Um… I’m pretty busy today.”

“That’s a shame. I’m sure you can make the time since we’re both professionals.” he tells you as he turns on the shower. He always finds a way to make you smile. And knowing he really watched your interview is making you grin from ear to ear.

“Well, I guess I can make some time tonight.” you reply, giggling as you see his cheeks flush a little red at your answer.

“Good. Good girl, then I’ll see you tonight.”

© 2023 fuwushiguro  

#toji fushiguro #fushiguro toji #toji fushiguro smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut #jjk fanfic #toji x reader #toji x you #toji x y/n #fushiguro toji smut #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #tw alcohol consumption #megumi fushiguro #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi fushiguro smut

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Ok so I had this thing bubbling in my head today. FIRST A DISCLAIMER: I 100% acknowledge that Taylor’s music is written from her perspective, from her gaze, about her own experiences and feelings. Just getting that out of the way.

But after thinking about the New Year’s Day/Peace medley from last night, it kind of hit me that there are several references in her discography to her making a commitment (to Joe), but there aren’t any of him reciprocating, or a mutual future being built.

(Again: I know that this is Taylor’s music, not Joe’s, so obviously she’s going to speak about her side of things.)

Even as early as reputation, we start getting references that this is the Big One for her, e.g. New Year’s Day’s “I want your midnights,” “you and me forevermore.” We continue to see more of these sprinkled throughout her subsequent discography, e.g. on Lover with Lover (“can we be this close forever and ever?” “I’ve loved you three summers now honey but I want them all,” the entire bridge being like wedding vows), Paper Rings (“I like shiny things but I’d marry you with paper rings”), All of the Girls (“I want to teach you how forever feels”), folklore’s invisible string (“one single thread of gold tied me to you”) and peace (“give you my wild give you my child” along with, like, the entire rest of the song), evermore’s Cowboy Like Me (“that was before I locked it down,” “forever is the sweetest con,” “I’m never gonna love again”).

Midnights obviously has its share of references too, though interestingly maybe less overt than the other albums? Sweet Nothing implies a shared home she’s running home to, as does Hits Different (…). The Great War is probably the most obvious with, “I vowed I would always be yours ‘cause we survived the Great War.” There’s also “I wanna brainwash you into loving me forever,” in Paris and “I’m fastening myself to you with a stitch,” in Glitch.

The most obvious reference to her commitment that we hear is on You’re Losing Me, with “I wouldn’t marry me either” implying that it was something that was discussed and a point of contention given the way she spits it out in the bridge and there are also the references to their shared home (“remember looking at this room, we loved it cause of the light,” “every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes,” “do I throw out everything we built or keep it?” Etc.).

Yet throughout these songs, where she’s saying she wants to be with this person forever, she wants to show him how forever feels, she wants to marry him, etc., in retrospect they’re kind of one-sided. AGAIN I UNDERSTAND THAT THAT’S BECAUSE THESE ARE TAYLOR’S SONGS. But it’s interesting that when she does sprinkle in references to his side of things, they’re directed at her (e.g. “You said I had to trust more freely,” “You say ‘I don’t understand’ and I say ‘I know you don’t,’” “You say ‘what a mind’,” and so on). It’s like she captures his reaction to her actions, but not that he’s in this with her.

I repeat: I know that this is because this is Taylor’s music, not Joe’s, and she’s writing about her experience of these situations. But in retrospect, and with everything we’re finding out now, it’s just really interesting that the way she wrote about commitment/marriage/family in her music about this period in her life was about what she wanted, what she brought to the table, what she hoped for the future, etc. But she didn’t write about how her partner made her feel about those same commitments. She vowed to always be his, but we don’t know if he vowed to be hers after the war. She fastened herself to him, but did he rip the seam? She wanted to marry him with paper rings, but YLM indicates the feeling may not have been reciprocated after all at the end of the day. Etc. In her music at least, looking back it’s like there isn’t as much reassurance on the other person’s end that this is what they wanted after all, especially by Midnights.

I know this is a jumble of thoughts and by no means a literary analysis of her discography, but it’s just kind of hit me out of the blue today in ways that I think were completely unintentional, but with the imminent release of TTPD, the secret songs on tour and the general ~vibes~ of what we’re all picking up these days, I think we’re in for some more emotional damage by this next album.

#Writing letters addressed to the fire #me thinking too hard about Taylor lyrics #Taylor swift #i guess i should also tag this with #the tortured poets department #Because i have a feeling the theme may recur lol

[project-sekai-facts]

Any opinion on Akito and Ena's dad ?

I don’t think he’s the best parent ever by any means, but I also think people often greatly exaggerate what he did to his kids. Both him and his kids have a pretty blunt way of talking and I think this is why they clash so often. The thing is, none of what he said to Ena about art being a terrible field of work to go into was wrong, it’s just that instead of trying to help Ena, he just told her she was talentless which like don’t fucking say that to your child??? I get that he was trying to look out for Ena but he just approached it in the worst possible way and ruined Ena’s mental health. He’s clearly been through it in his art career and doesn’t want Ena to go through the same, especially when she’s already struggling at a non-professional level, but he’s not the greatest parent going and clearly doesn’t know how to talk to his kids. He’s gotten better after Akito talked to him, but still has some work to do.

What I’m saying when people exaggerate what he did is that people tend to dial up the abuse to be more like Harumichi & Toya’s mother or Mafuyu’s parents and this is a very different case. Shin’ei clearly doesn’t know how to communicate with his kids and isn’t good at parenting, and I don’t think he meant to hurt Ena as bad as he did. He didn’t think she would be able to handle an art career and didn’t want her to get hurt, but he ended up hurting her more because he has dogshit communication skills. Yes, he still abused her and isn’t like a hugely present figure in her or Akito’s life (might be work-related? It’s never explained) but I don’t think he intentionally crushed her mental health and self worth. Considering one of his hobbies is camping trips with the family I think he actually does love his kids, he just isn’t a good parent.

It’s a very complex case because yes he did abuse Ena but it doesn’t entirely seem like it was intentional? Like telling her she was talentless was an intentional decision but I don’t think he said it because he wanted her to suffer emotionally for years, does that make sense? It wasn’t like Harumichi who made Toya practice past the point of injury and his wife who banned Toya from having any free time just because they wanted him to be a musical prodigy and live up to their expectations of their family (also Toya has older brothers who probably went through the exact same thing before him). And it wasn’t like Mafuyu’s mother who manipulates her daughter into becoming what she wants her to be and is fully aware of the fact she’s manipulating her, and then tries to manipulate other people on top of that to believe that she’s a good mother and actually cares about her daughter.

Shin’ei actually does seem to care about Ena and Akito and the fact that he does seem to try and change after Akito talks to him adds more proof to that. Harumichi hears Toya out and Toya isn’t scared of him anymore, and although he hasn’t really shown up much since Nocturne, whenever he does or whenether he’s mentioned there’s still this sort of disconnect between him and Toya still? Like he’s kinda just accepted that Toya rebelled against his expectations as an Aoyagi but you can tell he still doesn’t see eye to eye with Toya and probably never will. Hell, when Mrs Asahina is called out on her actions, she tries to manipulate the person calling her out in the exact same way she does her daughter. So Shin’ei at the very least tries to be better even if the improvement isn’t huge and I think a lot of people in the fandom miss that part? Like I consistently see people describe/portray him as far more intentionally malicious and hurtful and sometimes even physically abusive and he isn’t?? Yes he abused Ena and doesn’t seem hugely present in Akito’s life compared to like Ken, but how he abused his kids reads very differently to the other more notable abusive parents. I’ve already said it loads by now but the intent is different. And this is a character analysis and not an opinion

Uh yeah I think he’s pretty well written and I’d like to know a bit more about him but maybe I should invest in the fanbook for that. He’s very realistic like this is definitely something that happens a lot in real life. Some parents just aren’t good at it and don’t mean to hurt their kid but they end up doing so because they just don’t know how to care for them and communicate with them properly. He feels very human.

He’s a shit parent and I hope this doesn’t read like an apologist post because it’s not meant to be, like he drove Ena into a deep depression that’s fucked up. I just wanted to point some stuff out because I really like how he’s written and think he’s a pretty interesting character.

#asks #mod talks #project sekai #shin'ei shinonome

[pigeon-smidge]

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

So for the past couple of months I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into an analysis masterpost of this playlist, a Crowley and Aziraphale playlist comprised purely of Taylor Swift songs. I had been curating this playlist for a little while over the latter half of last year, and around November or so I decided to write up an analysis for why I’ve included each song! Some are about a specific character, some about their relationship, and many are about both! Five-ish months and eighteen pages of analysis later, here we are. It’s been so awesome to combine probably my two biggest interests, and even if you’re not a swiftie, I encourage you to read some of this if you’d like to!! You might find some songs you really like the sound of. If you like it, please support :) I spent so long on this

The track list is as follows:

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Say Don’t Go

How You Get the Girl

You are in Love

Wildest Dreams

hoax

peace

mirrorball

Come Back … Be Here

The Very First Night

All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

The Archer

Death by a Thousand Cuts

Cruel Summer

tolerate it

champagne problems

ivy

Back to December

The Great War

Midnight Rain

Tied Together With A Smile

Don’t Blame Me

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

✩✩✩✩

Notes: song titles are in the same order as the track list. they're numbered and colour-coded by album (1989 and midnights share the same colour, as do folklore and rep because Tumblr has limited options) so it’s easier for people to find specific songs they want. They’re not in any particular meaningful order, just grouped by album. If you want to read specific song analysis, please scroll to that point, or open this post in its own window and do a page search (on mac it’s command+f , but I’m not sure about other operating systems.) Obligatory disclaimer that this is all my subjective analysis, both of Taylor’s songs and Crowley and Aziraphale’s characters. I am not making any assumptions about the creative intentions behind them, these are purely what they mean in my view. What I think is not necessarily what the creators intended. If you disagree with anything, that’s fine!! Just please don’t be rude about it. I’d love to hear what you have to say about it!! If you’ve got any thoughts or additions, please add them in a reply or reblog, and we can make it a discussion :D Check back in the future if you want, because I might be adding more depending on if I have some new ideas! ✩✩✩✩

Alright, with that stuff said, here we are!! Grab a snack and get cozy if you want, this is a long one. You can read as much or as little as you want!! I hope you enjoy :)

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Title is self-explanatory. However it fits both perspectives; Crowley begging Aziraphale to stay with him and to not leave for Heaven, and Aziraphale begging Crowley to stay with him. They both view the other as being opposed to their own plight because their failure to communicate leads to misunderstandings. Specifically the choruses are most relevant. The verses don’t really feel like they fit; they’re very, very angry and bitter, and describe a relationship that the narrator has pretty much moved on from (‘and people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye’ & ‘now you say you want it back, now that it’s just too late’ to name a few lyrics). I don’t think this is accurate to them as I don’t think they’re going to be able to move on in this way. I also don’t think they’re this angry with each other. The narrator, in the verses specifically, describes their partner in a very reductive way. ‘People like you [..]’ etc, is a very insulting way of talking. Not that either party isn’t upset with the other; I think they’re both very confused and hurt. But I don’t think they’re at the stage where they can be this vitriolic. Partially due to character reasons, and also because obviously the story isn’t going to end with them in the exact positions they’re in now (otherwise there wouldn’t be a third season and the show would be very unsatisfactory). They’re upset, but they’re resigned and bitter, as opposed to outwardly aggressive about the other. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘You were all I wanted, but not like this’ Because Crowley wants Aziraphale but only if they can stay the same, not both angels in Heaven.  ‘Had me in the palm of your hand, why’d you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?’ Because Crowley poured his heart out and from his perspective Aziraphale didn’t think him enough to leave Heaven behind for. 2. Say Don’t Go

This is THE Aziracrow song. I had a 1989 (Taylor’s Version) listening party with my friends and when this played I went WAIT … especially the second verse and the bridge. The entire song is about begging someone to say that they want you to stay. Even though they both did tell the other they wanted to stay together, neither of them actually realised that’s what they were saying. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘Cause you kiss me and it stops time, and I’m yours, but you’re not mine.’ The first half of the sentence being from Aziraphale’s perspective in reference to the kiss, and the second from Crowley’s, in reference to how Crowley’s much more accepting of his romantic feelings. 

‘I’m standing on the sidewalk, alone. I wait for you to drive by. I’m trying to see the cards that you won’t show.’ Because of those shots in the Final Fifteen with both of them ‘standing on the sidewalk’ watching each other from opposite sides of the road. Also, any lyrics with references to cars or driving makes me think of these two. ‘Cards that you won’t show’ is very interesting lyric, because it’s a reference to Aziraphale’s love for human magic tricks, and also to their inability to actually properly express and explain their thoughts to each other. ‘I said ‘I love you’, you say nothing back.’ Crowley’s perspective. 3. How You Get the Girl

This song is about how to apologise to someone after breaking their heart … while the breakup was not entirely Aziraphale’s fault (they BOTH need to learn to communicate and properly confront their feelings), some of the lyrics do have some similarities to their relationship.

✦Notable lyrics: ‘That you were too afraid to tell her what you want.’ He was just scared about what his feelings for Crowley mean :( 4. You are in Love

The single happy song on this playlist. Honestly, it’s a song which isn’t that specific to them and I feel like it’s applicable to every ship ever; you know, the Love Song. However, there are some lyrics in this song that have some of their vibes. The whole song is about how love is constant and yet unable to be put into words or exactly understood, which perfectly describes them. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘He says ‘look up’, and your shoulders brush’ reminds me of someone telling someone else to look up at the stars !!! because Crowley made the stars and he was so happy about them :( and Aziraphale remembered that AHHHHHH

‘and why I’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words’ it’s ineffable <3

5. Wildest Dreams This song is about falling in love with someone while knowing that it can never last.The relationship in this song is one that is magnetic and beautiful and messy, and the protagonist enters it while knowing it’s going to end but wanting to stay anyway. This describes their relationship perfectly. They both have a tendency to repress their feelings because they both feel like they can never be acted upon. Even them being friends is something that is constantly fraught with danger, something that they actively need to fight for if they want to keep it (See The Great War). To Aziraphale, indeed to both of them before their shared realisation of ‘this is possible’ because of Gabriel and Beelzebub’s confession, their relationship only ever existed in their ‘wildest dreams.’

✦Notable lyrics:

‘He said, “Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds.” I thought, “Heaven can't help me now” Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down.’ All of Crowley’s invitations to run away; invitations that are always declined, even if Aziraphale wants so badly to go with him. There’s always a duty that pulls him away, something he feels he needs to fix before things can be how he wants them to be.

‘Nothing lasts forever’ HAHAHAHA … ‘I said, “No one has to know what we do.”’ A relationship that’s kept hidden. “He’s so tall, and handsome as hell. He’s so bad, but he does it so well.”Beauty and love that pulls you in, but feels wicked and frightening. See Cruel Summer.

6. hoax 

THE Crowley song. About loving someone who exposes your vulnerabilities; they feel like part of who you are, so they’re also your biggest weakness. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘Stood on the cliff side screaming ‘give me a reason’’ is very much ‘show me a Great Plan.’ ‘My best laid plan, your sleight of hand.’ References to magic!! Crowley prepared and tried to gain enough confidence to confess to Aziraphale and ask for them to run away together, but Aziraphale’s ‘sleight of hand’ and the Metatron’s influence messed with that. It looked like he was actually going to confess and they maybe had a chance, but then that all fell apart because he didn’t foresee any reason why Aziraphale would go back to Heaven . ‘You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart, but what you did was just as dark. Darling, this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart.’ Aziraphale ‘abandoning’ him hurt him greatly, as it felt like such a core part of him was being torn away. This is akin to what Falling would likely have been like, obviously not the same, but in both instances his sense of normal, his identity, and everything that he held dear to him was destroyed.  

‘You know I left a part of me back in New York.’Crowley and Aziraphale can both never truly leave the other without leaving ‘a part’ of themselves behind, because they’re so intertwined in each other's existences. 

7. peace

Describes how they could never find peace with each other because ‘hereditary enemies’ etc etc etc. They can’t be safe together; for a long time they couldn’t even admit their friendship because it would mean danger. We can still see this in Aziraphale; he’s constantly afraid of doing the wrong thing when he should be a good angel.

8. mirrorball

THE Aziraphale song. Perhaps one of the most Aziraphale songs of all time I'm genuinely not joking or exaggerating it's SO GOOD. About a people pleaser who revolves their life around others. Their existence and value is determined by their role in relation to someone else and how well they serve said role. The image of a mirrorball, shining high above the dancefloor, providing light and a shiny jewel for everyone to look at, yet being all alone (that Taylor Swift described was the inspiration for the song), is very fitting. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight.’ For so much of his life, Az’s purpose has been to serve Heaven. This lyric reflects that. His character growth throughout the show largely focuses on him coming to terms with their lies and abuse, and forming moral codes of his own.

‘You are not like the regulars, the masquerade revellers, drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.’ ‘Masquerade revellers’ referring to the angels, watching Aziraphale ‘break in a million pieces’ to serve Heaven, without understanding that he has limits and he’s his own person.

‘Hush, when no one is around, my dear, you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you. Hush, I know they said the end is near. But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you.’ Aziraphale only really acts himself when it’s just him and Crowley and they’re free of Heaven and Hell’s observing forces. Also ‘I know they said the end is near’ ; reference to Armageddon!! ‘I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why, I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try try try’ He’s trying to be good but his warped understanding of what good is hindering that. He has such a low self-esteem especially in regards to his own ‘goodness’, hence he tries so hard :( he’s just trying to do the right thing but he doesn’t realise what he believes to be right is far from it ahhhhhh

‘I’m still on that tightrope, still trying everything to keep you looking at me.’ Remember the ‘I’m standing on a tightrope, alone.’ Lyric from Say Don’t Go? He’s positioned above everyone else, on a completely different level to them, representing his isolation and unique status as really one of the only angels who’s simultaneously trying to do the right thing to help people while following the will of Heaven, things which often contradict each other.

9. Come Back …. Be Here

Long distance anthem!!!!! Them pining after each other after the s2 finale when they’re separated; it mostly feels like Crowley’s pov. 

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me’ London is busy, but to Crowley, it feels empty because one of the things he loved the most is gone. ‘If I'd known what I know now, I never would have played so nonchalant.’ Because their own constant inability to confront their feelings and dancing around their relationship is what lead to their misunderstanding and then them being separated. If they had actually talked about things together, maybe they’d have a better understanding of their relationship and what the other wants.

10. The Very First Night.Nostalgia and looking back on what was. Very fitting for a show with immortal beings that features their histories together all throughout time. ‘I knew the angel you used to be.’ ‘The angel you knew is not me.’ ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I wish I could fly, I’d pick you up and we’d go back in time, I’d write this in the sky, I miss you like it was the very first night.’ opening scene of season two, CROWLEY MADE THE STARS DKAJNS They both want things between them to be normal and safe. Aziraphale thinks that them being together in Heaven, like things used to be, would ensure this, but Crowley of course wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole. ‘I wish I could fly’ is interesting. Falling being akin to clipping a bird’s wings; removing them of their power. Obviously Heaven would think taking away an Angel’s Heavenly status is a terrible punishment. It’s interesting because Crowley doesn’t actually wish he could fly because he doesn’t want to be an angel again. This lyric could be representative of both of their wishes for more power to be able to change things. They both want to be able to make things better for the two of them and for everyone else, Aziraphale just thinks he has to become a better angel and embrace his Heavenly duties even more in order to make things how he wants them (‘If I’m in charge, I can make a difference.’)

11. All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

One of her most iconic breakup songs …. but this song, and the 10 minute version specifically, has lots of lyrics that remind me of them. Notable lyrics: ‘Something ‘bout it felt like home, somehow’ Aziraphale was home to Crowley, when neither Heaven nor Hell ever treated Crowley like he had a place. One of my favourite metaphors in this show is the use of Crowley’s glasses to represent his vulnerability. The bookshop is one of the only places he ever takes them off because it’s the only place he feels really safe. Him taking them off during his confession only to put them back on again when he realises Aziraphale isn’t going to follow him, and then being on during the kiss is just so symbolic!!!! AJSNBSKDNSBSK ‘You almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me’ obligatory driving lyric ‘you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed’ Crowley used to be so happy about making the stars :( ‘Oh, your sweet disposition, And my wide-eyed gaze’ THEM !!!! More vibes of them as angels though. ‘And I was thinkin' on the drive down: Any time now, he's gonna say it's love. You never called it what it was. ‘til we were dead and gone and buried, check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same after three months in the grave. And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you but all I felt was shame, and you held my lifeless frame’ This entire section is them. Aziraphale could never admit their friendship or his own feelings because of his relationship with heaven. He feels ‘shame’ because it’s not what he should be doing as an angel. ‘And there we are again when nobody had to know. You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath. Sacred prayer, and we'd swear to remember it all too well, yeah’ Hiding their relationship because az is afraid and it puts both of them in danger. However Crowley doesn’t have the same loyalty to heaven or hell so he keeps aziraphale like an ‘oath’ because it’s an important vow as opposed to something you have to keep hidden. Also any references to prayer is yeah !!!! ‘Well, maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much.’ Because they never talk about their feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ‘They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind. You said ‘if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine’ and that made me want to die’ References to hell. Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels (but this isn’t true, while Aziraphale does still have biases against Hell because of Heaven’s abuse -’You’re the bad guys!, etc-, he just wants them to be happy :( ) Also ‘every time you double-cross my mind’ is such a clever piece of lyricism. I’ve got nothing too deep to comment on with that one, it’s just plain clever. ‘The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel, whose shine reflects on you’ Again, Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels. Aziraphale also deeply failed to understand that Crowley doesn’t want to go back to heaven; this section is from Crowley’s view that aziraphale only cares about him as an angel, which is partly true but he remembers how happy and safe they both were as angels, and he just wants that feeling back. ‘I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight’ fighting for a broken cause; applicable mostly to Aziraphale’s loyalty to Heaven, but could also have meaning in regards to him and Crowley (See The Great War). ‘I still remember the first fall of snow and how it glistened as it fell. I remember it all too well’ because they were together for the very first fall of rain EVER !!!1

12. The Archer This is perhaps one of Taylor’s most Crowley songs ever. His anxiety and paranoia. He’s constantly on edge, constantly worried. He’s lived consistently exposed to danger and lies in every single direction with Aziraphale being the only one he could really trust, and even then, the two of them weren’t ever fully honest with each other. ‘The archer’ is someone who is consistently ‘ready for combat’ and thus sabotages their relationships because of this and feels guilt for it. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘I jump from the train, I ride off alone.’ Crowley’s way of dealing with stressful things is to run away from them. He consistently abandons situations he isn’t prepared to deal with because he ‘never grew up’ and gained the ability to properly communicate his feelings. Him walking out the bookshop door and driving away could be a representation of him running away from his feelings for Aziraphale because the fragile hope he’d gained in the previous scene had been torn down.

‘I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you.’ Because they never actually talk to each other:

‘Because you and Mr. Fell don’t ever talk to each other.’

‘We talk all the time, trust me. We’ve been talking for millions of years. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I say something brilliant, he says something unintentionally funny back, it’s great.’

‘You never say what you’re really thinking.’

‘I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible smoke.’ Bookshop fire ….. also just general restlessness and inability to sleep; to rest, because he always feels like he needs to be fighting for what he has and wants otherwise he’ll lose it. 

‘All of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you’ Crowley’s whole life and sense of self was torn away from him and burned, and any relationships he managed to have before he Fell would have gone up in flames as well. His desperately self-sustaining and combative attitude towards existence was likely borne from this; being unsteady in anything he ever gained. Aziraphale obviously was the only relationship he really was able to ‘hold on to’,  but even the angel was never able to fully feel like he could be himself … and also, this lyric:

‘screaming who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? [….] you could stay.’ Except ‘he’ didn’t stay, did ‘he’?

13. Death by a Thousand Cuts

A breakup song about a relationship that you can’t move on from because it formed such a key part of you for so many years. It was ‘a great love; one for the ages’ yet you’re ‘still writing pages.’

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say ‘I don’t know’’ very much Crowley driving around aimlessly trying to fill up the space Aziraphale left behind.

‘I get drunk but it’s not enough because the morning comes and you’re not my baby.’ Because that’s also how Crowley copes with his feelings when they get too overwhelming; running away and drowning himself with drink.

‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug, now I’m searching for signs in a haunted club.’Aziraphale doesn’t really feel comfortable admitting his relationship with Crowley. We can see that Crowley doesn’t like this through, for example, their dialogue when Crowley first asks for holy water (‘fraternising’ etc). To Crowley, Aziraphale leaving must have felt like Crowley wasn’t enough to stay for, and that Aziraphale never really loved him as much as he loved Aziraphale. Also bears similarity to Don’t Blame Me (‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh.’) which gives the impression of love that was addicting and powerful, but it became too much. ‘Our songs, our films, united, we stand, our country, guess it was a lawless land.’Get ready because this line is so much more meaningful than I ever realised when I added it to this post. ‘Our songs’ something something nightingales.

But the real meat of this lyric lies in the second half. The phrase ‘united, we stand, divided, we fall’  is often used in mottos of organisations and countries in order to inspire collaboration and patriotism for them. It preaches the importance of staying loyal to a certain side, for if division sows among them, then they will ‘fall.’ Historically, it has been frequently used as war propaganda in WWII, and the American Revolutionary War. It has also been used in the struggle for Indian independence, by Ulster loyalists in Ireland, and by many political leaders, for example. Similar phrases can be found in the Bible, for example in in Mark 3:25 (If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand),  Matthew 12:25 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand), and Luke 11:17 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls).

In this song it describes the relationship between the singer and their former lover, which further animates their love as a physical nation or state (as well as a house with the lyrics ‘I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up, chandelier’s still flickering here ‘cause I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not).

This animation and the use of this specific phrase which has been used to garner a sense of loyalty towards a cause shows their love to have been a deeply personal thing, something you pledge your devotion to. However, in this song it’s contrasted with the lyric ‘Guess it was a lawless land’ which shows that the nation and love was hollow. It fell apart due to division.

Remind you of anything? Loyalty conflicts is a big part of this show, particularly with Aziraphale’s character, who is still shown to be attached to Heaven as late in his character arc as the Armageddon storyline in season one:

‘Even if I did, why would I tell you? We’re on opposite sides!’

‘We’re on our side!’

‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’

Aziraphale’s turmoil between his Heavenly duties and his feelings for Crowley (not just romantic, even their friendship) is a large part of his unwillingness to admit their closeness, but he’s also just afraid that they’ll get punished. He’s just afraid.

 ‘we could’ve been …. us.’ 

‘our side.’ 

‘a group of the two of us.’

etc , etc

Their relationship is repeatedly treated like it’s its own ‘side’ or ‘group’ that can be pledged allegiance to or deserted. This perfectly sets up Az’s character conflict and growth. It’s so GOOD!!!!!!

It also has a double meaning with Heaven’s patriotism, which has a façade of goodness but is really very corrupt and ‘lawless.’

‘But it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t enough, no, no.’Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale to go with him, he did everything he could, but it didn’t work. That’s what the kiss was; not a moment of love, but a moment of desperation. A final attempt to lay everything out. But it wasn’t enough.

14. Cruel Summer

Secret relationship that makes you feel whole but destroys you at the same time. ‘Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes.’ Religious language. The inability for Heaven and Hell to understand love, and even just friendship, between angels and demons is possible. Hell, and the demons, ‘roll[s] the dice’, the language featuring references to gambling shows their more opportunistic nature and need to trick every situation into benefiting them, because otherwise they’re stuck at the bottom of the pile. They can risk everything on a bet that could see them losing all their money, but they don’t really have anything to lose, which makes them very dangerous (like Furfur). Heaven is more judgemental, ‘roll[ing] their eyes.’ This judgement is what Aziraphale is afraid of (and, of course, the physical retribution that follows). It’s rather akin to an abusive relationship such as between a parent and a child, with an unhealthy power dynamic and Heaven always having more control. The child is always trying to do what’s right, but their view of what is right is often in relation to what their parent has raised them to believe is right, or simply in relation to whatever will make the parent happy. This is an analogy that perfectly describes Aziraphale and his internal conflict. ‘and if I bleed you’ll be the last to know’ Az hides his distress and doesn’t like people seeing him cry. See Tied Together with a Smile (second to last song). 

‘and I scream for whatever it’s worth; ‘I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’’ From Crowley’s perspective, Aziraphale loves Heaven more than him, and loving him is something that is shocking and unthinkable. Aziraphale is aware and okay with his feelings for Crowley, he’s only okay with them on a very, very surface level. He’s only sort of okay with their friendship, but doesn’t want to acknowledge anything more than that. So even if a confession of love is something Aziraphale wants from Crowley, he also doesn’t want to hear because he knows that they could never work. AHHHHHHH 15. tolerate it Largely about Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven. He gives them everything and works so hard to be a good angel but they never fully value him.  ✦ Notable lyrics: The bridge also is in reference to his and Crowley’s relationship: ‘While you were out building other worlds, where was I?’ Because they made the stars!!!!! 

‘Where’s that man who threw blankets over my barbed wire? I made you my temple, my mural, my sky … now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life.’ CROWLEY CROWLEY!!! Also religious imagery is just *chef's kiss*.

16. champagne problems

About a proposal that’s refused … I feel like I do not need to elaborate much on this, however it does apply to both of them, because they BOTH were offering something that the other refused. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘this dorm was once a mad-house, I made a joke, ‘well it’s made for me’’ Crowley vibes. ‘I never was ready so I watched you go.’  Aziraphale wasn’t ready to fully turn away from Heaven, so he had to watch Crowley leave. ‘You had a speech, you’re speechless, love slipped beyond your reaches.’ Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale; he knew he had to start talking first because if not he’d ‘never start talking. He knew what he was going to say, he ‘had a speech’ but it ‘wasn’t enough’ and Aziraphale ‘slipped’ away.  

17. ivy

This song is about an affair, and it’s also a very, very queercoded song. To Aziraphale, his relationship with Crowley feels like figuratively cheating on Heaven, ignoring his duties and shunning his responsibility and role as a ‘good angel’. Notable lyrics: ‘He’s in the room, but your opal eyes are all I wish to see.’ “But it’s pretty!” 💛💛 ‘So tell me to run, or dare to sit and watch what will become.’ Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven is very mentally abusive. He will only be free of their influence if he ‘runs’ from them. He can’t stay connected to Heaven and be truly free and happy. 

‘So yeah, it’s a fire, it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it, you started it. So yeah, it’s a war, it’s the goddamn fight of my life, and you started it, you started it.’ Both of their, but especially Aziraphale’s, internal conflict symbolised through fire and war. ‘Spring breaks loose, but so does fear’ Their bond and love has remained throughout history, and with Gabriel and Beelzebub revealing their relationship, the spark of hope was lit in both of them. ‘Spring [broke] loose’ but the Metatron’s offer subsequently pulled Aziraphale away from Crowley and reignited some of the ‘fear’ that he’s spent the show trying to grow away from. 

‘He’s going to burn this house to the ground.’ Speaking of Aziraphale’s fear; he’s worried about what admitting his feelings for Crowley, romantic or even just their friendship, will mean. The danger that it will draw. This lyric also has an interesting double meaning, referencing the literal burning of Aziraphale’s bookshop.

18. Back to December.

Another song about apologising to someone for breaking their heart. ✦ Notable lyrics: 

‘You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.’ The first part of this lyric is only really relative to Crowley’s confession in the Final Fifteen, because their relationship has never really been stable; they never gave the other ‘all [their] love’ because their fear stopped them. Crowley only ever showed his love to Aziraphale because he felt like he didn’t have a choice and it was the only thing that could save them. But Aziraphale 

‘But then the cold came, dark days when fear crept into my mind.’ I initially added this lyric because it reminded me of Aziraphale, but it also now reminds me of both of them. Their own fears interfered with their abilities to accept the other’s confession and to be happy. They need to both grow and learn before they can actually have a healthier romantic relationship.

19. The Great War

The metaphor of relationship troubles and trauma being connected to war.

There are some references to said relationship troubles relating to the inability to properly confront feelings and issues, instead turning away and using silence as a punishment to avoid really having to change your relationship.

Also relevant because their relationship isn’t just a metaphorical war; there is the imminent threat of literal war between Heaven and Hell, and literal physical negative repercussions to each of them due to their love being known. The motif of soldiers is also connected to the line of ‘I’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight.’ from ATW10MV.

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘It turned into something bigger, somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed. Your finger on my hair pin triggers …. soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honour and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops. That was the night I nearly lost you. I really thought I lost you.’

They are each other’s weaknesses; see hoax. Their inability to communicate their feelings lead to the breakdown of their relationship. They ‘really thought [they] lost’ each other. ‘And maybe it's the past that's talkin’, screamin' from the crypt. Telling me to punish you for things you never did. So I justified it.’

A bit part of Aziraphale’s character is his journey of developing his own sense of morality independent of Heaven’s. This is especially delved into in season two through, for example, the Job storyline and the Edinburgh storyline. However, we can see that he’s still very much under the influence of Heaven’s abuse during episode six through the way he still believes what they say about right and wrong and about the nature of Hell (‘Of course you said no to Hell, you’re the bad guys’ as opposed to ‘they’re the bad guys’). He doesn’t want to do anything malicious, and he doesn’t want to leave to Heaven, with his conflict about staying or going being quite obvious (as numerous points in the Final Fifteen he appears very tortured, frequently hesitating and trying to say things other than wanting to go back to Heaven). But he feels like it’s what he had to do, ‘So [he] justified it.’

20. Midnight Rain

This song is actually on their official playlist!!! About moving on from someone who wanted something different out of your relationship; a sentence which almost perfectly describes the way they view their relationship (of course, their misunderstanding led them both to believe the other wants something different, when in actuality they both want the same thing; to be safe together).

‘My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences, pageant queens and big pretenders, but for some it was paradise’ 

&

‘It came like a postcard, picture-perfect, shiny family, holidays, peppermint candy, but for him it’s every day.’Heaven… I don’t think I really need to elaborate on this.

‘He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame, he stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight rain.’

Crowley wants them, he wants them to be ‘comfortable’ and safe, and he thinks that’ll only come if they distance themselves from both Heaven and Hell. Aziraphale also wants this, but he also can’t leave Heaven behind to the extent Crowley wants him to. He wants the ‘pain’ of belonging to Heaven’s institution and having high value there, because it’s familiar to him. It might be incredibly abusive, but it’s home to him. 

He wants to do the right thing, and he thinks that the only way to do that is to stay there. Ahhh ..

21. Tied Together With A Smile

Aziraphale song :( another one about his massive insecurities, folks. 

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘you walk around here thinking you’re not pretty’ Aziraphale always doubts how good of an angel he is and how well he’s doing what’s expected of him.

‘That you cry, but you don’t tell anyone, that you might not be the golden one, and you’re tied together with a smile but you’re coming undone.’Aziraphale doesn’t like letting anyone see him cry. He always turns away and tries to pretend he’s the ‘golden one’, trying to pretend everything is fine and he’s always doing exactly what Heaven wants, yet he is so insecure about his goodness. 

The entire second verse about him wanting love and praise from Heaven: ‘I guess it’s true that love was all you wanted […] but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain’ he’s tossed aside and talked down to by the people he works so hard to do the right thing for.

22. Don’t Blame Me Mainly this song is included because of its heavy religious motifs. It’s very reminiscent of a gospel song, also connections to Cruel Summer; ‘love made me crazy’. Of course a lot of this song is very ironic because it describes a love so strong and intense that it ‘made [me] crazy’, that you disregard everything ‘true’ and ‘right’, only doing what you feel is right in connection to your lover, nothing else mattering. However, this is absolutely NOT what happened in this show, in fact the exact reverse. I think this song describes how Crowley feels; not feeling connected to the institutions of Heaven and Hell and being willing to leave them completely behind. Perhaps it also describes a hypothetical future in which Aziraphale has grown and reached the point he can comfortably leave Heaven completely.

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘Baby I would fall from Grace, just to touch your face. If you’d walk away, I’d beg you on my knees to stay.’ Because .. because that’s what happened. They begged eachother to stay :( Also religious language. ‘I get so high, oh, every time you’re, every time you’re loving me, you’re loving me.’ Their relationship is so powerful (especially how they were able to perform the really large miracle ACCIDENTALLY). ‘Something happened for the first time in the darkest little Paradise.’ Religious language. Them being together is their own ‘little Paradise’, because, due to them being forced to hide the nature of their relationship, their relationship becomes very intimate and personal. ‘Halo, hiding my obsession, I once was poison ivy but now I’m your daisy.’ Religious language. Aziraphale helps Crowley be able to relax and to rest, letting down his guard. Crowley’s not fully able to do this, and he’s not fully willing to embrace the fact he is indeed ‘nice’, but he’s getting there. He’s still The Archer, but he can put down his bow slightly easier (but of course, the one time he fully put it down and opened up his heart, he was burned, so I don’t think he’ll be doing it again any time soon). ‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh, oh.’ This lyric is particularly meaningful when parallelled to Death by a Thousand Cuts; ‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug.’

23. Dancing With Our Hands Tied This song describes a love that you desperately want to be hidden yet you know that it’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out and the danger starts.To have one’s hands tied is to be unable to affect something, representing how their relationship and their own lives were always out of their control because they could never live how they wanted to without fear of retribution (an excellent metaphor for queerness). Additionally, the motif of dancing, which in this context is an intimate and notably private act between the two lovers, is happening while the lovers’ hands are tied, representing the division and conflict that intrudes even while they’re alone together (‘Something happened for the first time in a darkest little Paradise’ from Don’t Blame Me). 

✦ Noteable lyrics: ‘I, I loved you in secret.’ ‘Yeah, we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied.’ See above for analysis of the title lyric!! This song also reminds me of them because thy did actually dance together in season 2 episode 5, which is one of my all time favourite GO episodes. ‘I, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us. So, baby, can we dance, oh, through an avalanche?’ They couldn’t live how they wanted because of ‘deep fears’ that outside forces would ‘divide’ them, which in the end is what happened. Feeling like the world is against them (‘angels and demons, they can’t just-’)

Honourable mentions!!

Lyrics that make me think of them but there’s not enough content in the overall song to justify it being put on the playlist. They don’t have much, if any, elaboration, but if you want to hear my thoughts on any of these, let me know!! Of course I’ll add analysis to these if anyone wants them. This will probably be the section of the post that’ll be updated the most frequently, and feel free to reply or reblog with any of your additions :D 

~~

‘Just a shot, just a shot in the dark, oh oh.’ - Sweeter than Fiction, 1989 (remember the ‘I’ve known it from the very start, we’re a shot in the darkest dark’ from Say Don’t Go?)

‘Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon. Your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘Eyes full of stars, hustling for the good life […].’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘And you asked me to dance, but I said ‘Dancing is a dangerous game.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘I knew it from the first, old-fashioned, we were cursed, we never had a shotgun, shot in the dark.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (again, the ‘shot in the dark’ lyric! Also this was my suprise song WHAT THE FUCK?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?)

‘We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde, oh yeah, ‘till I switched to the other side, to the other side.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (‘We’re on our side!’ … ‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’).

‘Cause lately I don’t even know what page you’re on.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘Oh, simple complication, miscommunication leads to fallout. So many things that I wish you knew, so many walls up I can’t break through.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now 

'But I liked it better when you were on my side.' -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘And I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser, who only wanted you to see her.’ -You’re Losing Me, Midnights

‘Loving him was like driving a new Massarati down a dead end street; faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly.’ - Red, Red

'You dream of my mouth before it called you a 'lying traitor.' - Is It Over Now? , 1989 (Taylor's Version)

thanks for getting to the bottom!! it means so much to me that you wanted to read this in any amount, you truly have no idea. here's a cookie 🍪 !!!!!

bye :D

#good omens #good omens 1 #good omens 2 #good omens show #good omens analysis #good omens meta #crowley #good omens crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners #crowley analysis #aziraphale analysis #songs #spotify #music #good omens playlist #ineffable husbands playlist #crowley playlist #Taylor swift #swifties #Taylor Swift analysis #playlist #the eras tour #eras #pigeontalksgoodomens #PIGEONGO

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Stevepop social media au is actually such a cool idea, I crave to hear more of your thoughts on it

Hi anon! This is for you, @battleslippers and @raindrvq who all wanted more stevepop social media au. I will warn you, I got a little carried away.

Stevepop Social Media Au:

-The TikTok thing wasn’t supposed to be a success, Soda honestly just started it for fun but he gains a following pretty quick. Part of its his pretty face and part of it’s his demeanour- he is magnetic after all

-Most of his videos are either him doing stupid internet challenges and failing miserably or kind of just rambling into the camera like its some sort of video diary

-The first video that went sort of viral was just him trying and failing to twerk. The footage itself is kind of shaky because whoever is filming is laughing so hard.

-Despite how much he loves internet challenges he refuses to try any that involve a lot of waste. To him the idea of wasting a bunch of food or anything really is absurd

-The gang ends up in a lot of his videos, either just in glimpses when he’s walking around filming himself, or in the background when he’s trying challenges or whatever. Like, TikTok is fun for him but everyone else just kind of leaves him to it, so sometimes Ponyboy, Johnny, and Dal will be in the background playing poker or video games, or Darry will come home from work, or you’ll see Two-bit smoking a cigarette and his audience is so intrigued by them because it makes Soda seem so human.

-A lot of his content involves him pranking Darry simply because of how confused Darry gets before he figures out what’s going on

-In the background of almost every video you can hear someone laughing at him or sometimes heckling. It distracts Soda every time and his face visibly lights up when he turns away from the camera and argues back

-His comment section speculates so hard about who the voice is. Some people think its Two-bit or Dallas until someone else points out that they’re visible in the background of some videos and the voice is still present when they're not talking, and thus clearly not coming from either of them. The speculation gets to the point that his whole comment section is just people wondering about who the voice belongs to

-Soda eventually adresses it with one offhand sentence: “oh that’s just Stevie, he doesn’t like TikTok” 

-The comments section goes wild. Now they have a name to go with the offscreen voice, but they still don’t have a face. 

-It kind of gets to the point where his following is more invested in analysing every instance of hearing Steve and trying to catch a glimpse of him than they are in Soda’s actual content

-Of course, the close analysis leads to people noticing just how…flirty some of Steve and Soda’s banter is and the fanbase is suddenly split. Some people think Soda can’t possibly be gay and the others are highly convinced Soda and Steve are a couple and Soda’s just trying to keep their relationship on the down low

-Of course, the many many nicknames and the way Soda’s eyes light up whenever he looks off camera really don’t help speculation

-…There’s also the video where Ponyboy and Johnny came in when he was filming by himself and Ponyboy started rubbing his eyes and going “holy shit, is that…Soda without Steve? Are my eyes deceiving me?” “Shut up Pony, don’t joke about that, clearly he’s grieving the loss of his other half- since death is the only thing that could separate those codependent idiots for more than five minutes.” “SHUT UP you two I’m trying to film a video” “of what, you sucking ass at dancing?” “GO AWAY!”

-…and then there’s the video where Soda’s doing some sort of workout routine and ends up shirtless and Steve’s voice gets about an octave deeper even when he teases Soda seemingly like normal

-The comments section LOSES it at that one.

-Ponyboy and Johnny make their own TikTok account and they use it solely to make fun of Soda’s (and by extension Steve). Actual dialogue from one of their videos has Pony in a shitty blond wig going “internet people stop saying me and my buddy Steve are together. It’s super normal to make out with your guy best friend, we’re just guys being dudes”. Another has Johnny (wearing a name tag with Steve written on it) watching Ponyboy do jumping jacks and saying “if you’re not ogling your best friend while he works out, what are you doing? Pretending you’re not turned on? Get real”

-Ponyboy and Johnny’s channel is only live for a week before its mysteriously deleted. They’re also both sporting a few bruises when they’re spotted in the background of Soda’s latest video

-Unfortunately, Pony and Johnny’s account caused the speculation to get even worse. No matter what Soda posts, the comments section is just speculation about him and Steve.

-Surprisingly, it’s Steve who gets fed up one day when Soda is doing a TikTok live and getting visibly annoyed at all the comments and speculation. He steps into frame, kisses Soda soundly on the mouth and turns to the camera. “Hey. I’m Steve. I hate TikTok, I’m Soda’s best friend, and as of last week, his boyfriend. Now respectfully, shut the fuck up talking about me.”

-The comment section loses it’s shit but eventually goes back to simply commenting on Soda’s content once it becomes clear Steve isn’t going to make another appearance and Soda isn’t going to talk about it.

-The end :)

#the outsiders #sodapop curtis #steve randle #stevepop #ponyboy curtis #darry curtis #johnny cade #two bit mathews #headcanon #dally winston #lovelythoughts

[laniemae]

Why I believe John/Orekoto was lying about his motive in Neoplasm

Ok so double just came out and I have a lot of thoughts. When a new MV comes out I usually wait a while until I can make a proper analysis but this one is mostly going to focus on neoplasm. And in particular one thing me and my friend found particularly suspicious about John’s (Orekoto’s) testimony when it comes to the murder(s).

When Es questioned John about their murder, he responded very clearly with “Yeah it was me, I killed them off”. And after that Es questioned why he did it, only to say that he did it only because they were annoying him and it was whoever was walking by. Es goes quiet at this which might imply to me some sort of suspicion on his testimony. John goes on to say that he can’t remember how many he killed because he was just born back then and his memory is kinda fuzzy.

Instantly this set off a ton of red flags for me, it just doesn’t make any sense when you think about it. Earlier on when John fronted he started acting all violent and threatened to beat up Es, who just calmly laughed it off. Es seemed to be quickly notice something was off, as their calm demeanour enacted an also suspiciously calm demeanour from John. Es then said it was strange because they assumed him to be a monster. After hearing that John instantly went back into that violent persona that they were showing as soon as they fronted.

This scene is very telling to me. John is not violent, or evil, heartless or anything like that. He’s only acting that way to potentially come out less. And be even straight up says “if I had stayed a monster… maybe that would’ve been better.” Then instantly takes back what he said by just going “…what?”

From this it’s very clear, like I said, that John isn’t evil. But then that takes what he said about his murders into question. That he only did it because he just got annoyed and killed random passers. This clearly isn’t true when you take into account the whole interaction with Es, because otherwise he would’ve attempted to kill Es the whole time and not go docile when they weren’t acting scared.

I believe that John is trying to dip back into his monster persona he made for himself here. He probably figured out that acting evil all the time wouldn’t work, and when questioned on such a sensitive topic such as the murder he just went with the option that made him the least sympathetic, and Mikoto more sympathetic in order to lower his stress levels by not telling the full truth. 

As for who committed the murder/s, I’m still pretty unsure. In double it looks like both sides are perpetrators. But this also takes into account, what about those scenes of John killing the mannequins? It seems like it matches up enough to what he said in the voice drama but I don’t think that’s the smiling gun.

Milgram is an extremely complex series, and in no way should the easiest option be assumed as the right one. Unreliable narrators are a big thing in the series, and we should look at a character’s MV with how they view themselves in mind. For example, Kazui thinks himself as a monster and this is especially prevalent in Cat, where if you’d take it at first glance you might assume that he’s evil or whatever, just as he views himself.

The same should apply to John as well. He wants to believe he’s a monster in order to protect Mikoto from more mental stress about his murder, and might end up with him fronting less. This likely subconsciously played itself into double and even MeMe, where John portrays himself as evil as that’s what he wants people to view him as.

I feel like when discussing who’s the murder and if John is evil, we should definitely take this into account otherwise our future opinions will be biased.

Ok so someone just mentioned the fact that he had a baseball bat in the first place means it was likely a premeditated murder. So him killing people just because they annoyed him would be a really weird thing to say because that would’ve been an impulsive murder, and he had a weapon at the time.

#milgram #mikoto kayano #Milgram theory #yes I am calling him john I think it’s hilarious and fitting for a little goober #This was basically a theory me and my friend came up with when we were watching neoplasm together #I could’ve gone into more depth with this but I feel like this summarises what I want to say good enough #From the start I felt like it was very clear he was lying about killing those people because they annoyed him #Im surprised so many people took that at face value #Remember prisoners can lie in their voice dramas and their view of themselves can affect the mvs #People should really take this into account otherwise it’d probably prompt even more “john/orekoto is evil” bs again #And I don’t know how to fit this in but I’m still thinking alot how #In the first trial voice trailer mikoto says “my (boku) life it wasn’t supposed to be this way…” #In the glitched out segment which is heavily implied to be when/around the prisoners committed their murders #LanieMae’s theories

[misted-buttercup-enjoyer]

Fionna and Cake: Simon and Marcy So Far: Analysis Part 1

INTRO:

The first two episodes of Fionna and Cake have been released, capturing the hearts of fans, and with it, some new Simon and Marcy content has dropped. Ever since the father/daughter duo made their debut in Adventure Time’s tearjerker episode “I Remember You” (season 4, episode 25) they have smote the hearts of fans everywhere. With the first two episodes, here is my analysis on which direction their relationship is going in this spinoff series.

FLASHBACK:

Fionna and Cake Episode 2 “Simon Petrikov” opens with the two running away from some oozers. They take shelter in a sewer. Simon considers putting on the crown, but Marcy pulls his hand away and glares at him. The oozers leave the two to chat. The button of Marcy’s overall dress pops off and Simon begins sewing it back on. Marcy asks him what she’d do without him. Simon assures her that “you’re so great, Marceline, someone else would definitely find you and take care of you. Maybe even someone rich!” Simon continues this fantasy, telling Marceline that she’d live in a castle with “food, medicine, and trained squirrels to tend to your every need. And as for me, I’d uh…um…” Simon directs this at Marceline, but he seems to be saying what he wants for Marceline. In Stakes Episode 2 “Everything Stays,” when Simon is officially leaving Marceline and barely holding onto his sanity, he promises he’ll send someone to take care of her. (On a related note, we see in season 7 episode 10, “Marcy and Hunson,” that Simon summoned Hunson to take care of Marceline until she left his care after the fries incident.) Simon wants Marcy to be safe, and he’d want to believe if something happened to him Marceline would be okay and someone would come take care of her. For food, obviously in the apocalypse, food would be hard to find. In season 5 episode 14 “Simon and Marcy,” Marceline tries to make Simon breakfast and resorts to pine needles and deer guts. For medicine, we can see Simon worries a lot about Marceline when she gets sick. We see when Marcy gets a fever in “Simon and Marcy,” he dedicates the whole day to finding chicken soup for her. He’d want her in an environment where she can access healthcare easily. For trained squirrels, well, it’s a funny way to put it, in classic Adventure Time style, but I think it ties back to Simon wanting Marceline to be well taken care of. But we can see he doesn’t really have any plans for himself. He’s lost his home, his books, his fiancee, and his entire life’s structure at this point. Marcy and whatever he carries in his backpack is his entire world now, and he can’t imagine what his world would be without her to take care of.

THE FUTURE:

Simon trails off when he talks about a life without Marceline. And now we’re in a future where this…kind of came to pass. Don’t get me wrong, Marcy and Simon are still close. Simon calls Marcy, Marcy is happy to hear from him even though she’s busy–more on this phone conversation later–and Marcy mentions hanging out soon. But Marceline can longer be Simon’s whole world like she used to be. She’s grown up, she’s been taking care of herself for about a thousand years and she has a girlfriend and lots of friends and acquaintances. Heck, she hasn’t just been taking care of herself, she kept Ice King company and took care of him in a way too. She’s delighted that Simon’s back, but she’s no longer dependent on Simon’s protection like she used to be. She’s also no longer right there to observe Simon’s behavior and remind him to take care of himself, like we see her doing in the flashback when he almost puts on the crown. Not only does Simon not have Marcy to take care of, he doesn’t have any reason not to spiral into this depressive state he’s in at this point (Fionna and Cake Episode 2 “Simon Petrikov,") and he doesn't have her little reminders.

Which brings me back to the subject of their call. Marcy immediately asks Simon how he’s doing, and how’s work. Simon responds by saying it was fine, skimming over how bad it actually was. But why? Why is he doing this?

CHILDCARE IN THE APOCALYPSE 101:

A big part of parenting in the apocalypse would’ve been keeping Marceline calm so she doesn’t panic. When Marceline gets a fever in “Simon and Marcy,” the first thing Simon says after waking up, feeling her forehead when she's sick and mentioning the fever got worse is “I mean, don’t freak out or anything.” We can see through what glimpses we get of his travels with Marceline that he’s very optimistic and playful. He makes up a song for Marceline (Marceline mentions him making up more silly songs), plays games with her, makes a lot of jokes (humor is one hell of a coping mechanism), and in the flashback we see him telling Marceline that this is one of the nicest sewer’s they’ve hidden in. I think it’s important for us to remember how quickly Marceline grew up to Simon. Not even in the usual “they grow up so fast” way, but as in, when he left her, she was about ten years old. The next time he saw her in any fit state to recognize her, she was a thousand years old with the mindset and body of a young adult. The timeskip would’ve been jarring for him, to say the least. It’s been about twelve years since that sudden change, but old habits die hard. Simon hasn’t stopped trying to keep Marceline from freaking out over a lesser problem. Not just because he’s used to keeping her calm in the apocalypse and can’t help but view her as his little girl still, but no one likes admitting to a loved one they’re experiencing a mental health crisis* in the first place. Along with this, while in his state of magical madness, Ice King’s condition doubtless caused Marceline a lot of anxiety and unhappiness. On top of his habits of not freaking her out and the usual desire not to explain what you’re going through, he wouldn’t want to cause Marceline any more grief than she’s already been through. Don’t worry, Simon, Marcy’s already super traumatized. Helping you out won’t hold a candle to everything she’s been through.

THE PHONE CALL:

I feel like what really drives home the difference in how Simon still sees her vs. how she is now is the phone call. Don’t get me wrong, Simon loves Marceline and is doubtless happy for her that she has a girlfriend, a career in music, and a life.

But when he calls Marceline, he’s been reminded of her by watching little girl’s caretaker help her reach a watermelon. A little child. When Simon calls her up, she is getting matching tattoos with Princess Bubblegum (or, trying to, anyway, but her skin keeps instahealing and PB is made of literal gum). Getting matching tattoos with the person you plan on spending your life with is a much more grown-up activity. The music also serves as an immediate contrast between the atmospheric quiet of the forest and gentle strumming and singing of Rebecca Sugar, compared to the rock music blasting in the background of Marceline’s antics. The contrast between the future and the past. The contrast between what their relationship used to be like, something that gave Simon’s life structure and hope, and what it is now–still loving, but not something he can model his whole life around.

ONE STEP FORWARD, TWO STEPS BACK:

Their dynamic has changed. Simon used to be the one keeping Marceline from despair and taking care of her. Now not only is Marceline living her best life with her girlfriend (Simon has neither of those), but Simon’s the one in danger of despair. Simon is used to taking care of Marceline, but they can’t be that way anymore, since Marcy is grown up and took care of him at one point. A good visual metaphor for this is at the beginning clip of Simon and Little Marcy. When they’re running from the oozers, at first, Marcy is behind Simon, and Simon, also running for his life, pants “C’mon” to her. A few seconds later, Marceline is the one in front of Simon, holding his hand and trying to get him to go faster. It’s a real blink-and-you-miss-it detail, but I think this was definitely intentional.

FIONNA AND CAKE AS A METAPHOR FOR MARCELINE AND THE ICE KING:

This feels like a crack theory or overanalyzing, but I still want to mention this. One of the main plot points of Episode 1 “Fionna and Cake” is Cake’s mysterious health issue. Cake is obsessed with the cold, only able to recognize her own name and “food.” Cake runs to open the ice dispenser of Fionna’s fridge and ends up staining Fionna’s work clothes, at which Fionna says, “Stop acting crazy!” This wouldn’t be particularly noticeable, but in “I Remember You,” Marceline says this exact phrase to Simon with the exact same cadence, and shortly after, Simon runs to the fridge, just like Cake just did. Cake is Fionna’s cat, and Fionna tries to take care of Cake and take her to the vet. Which I think again could refer to Marceline taking care of Simon while he was the Ice King (Ice King and Cake not understanding what’s going on, the ice motifs that Simon rejects so vehemently in “Simon Petrikov,” etc.) Which, again, refers to how different their dynamic is today, since Marceline has taken care of Ice King and gained so much independence, so different from what Simon remembers.

PREDICTIONS FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIP GOING FORWARD:

It’s hard to imagine all of this is being set up just to be dropped, so this all begs the question, what will their relationship be going forward? What does the series have in mind for their future?

There’s no way Marceline will be happy Simon’s been keeping his problems from her. But she may be able to relate. In “Obsidian,” Marcy tells Princess Bubblegum, “My mom and I didn’t talk about bad stuff. When she got really sick, she didn’t even tell me. She meant well, but I think it messed me up about being honest about my feelings.” We can see this in action, too. She isn’t very communicative in her relationship with Bonnibel before the events of “Obsidian,” she doesn’t talk much about how she’s feeling, and she has a habit of talking about what someone else did rather than how it made her feel. So Simon’s difficulty in honest communication might resonate with her.

Either way, I’m excited to see what the Adventure Time crew is going to come up with for them, especially if Rebecca Sugar is involved!

CONCLUSION:

In conclusion, while the pair are still close, Simon is kind of lost without Marceline to care for and protect every minute of the day. Their relationship dynamic has changed, and, for Simon, the change was very abrupt. He still hasn’t stopped thinking of Marceline as someone he needs to keep feeling positive and calm, and he doesn’t want to tell her about his issues. This can only go one way: angsty. 

Thank you for reading my analysis! My plan is to continue analyzing their relationships as new episodes release, since nothing gets me feeling motivated like new episodes, but I’m also starting up the school year, and it depends on how much Simon and Marcy content we get in the new upcoming episodes, so I can’t make promises. Sorry for the current lack of screenshots, I have an event to go to but when I get back I’ll add some pictures. I hope this at least was some food for the thought. Leave your thoughts about their relationship in the tags, reblogs, or comment section. Also, if this analysis seems all over the place, don’t worry, I’m going back to English class soon, so hopefully things will feel more professional as I brush up on my writing skills.

*I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone to take care of their mental health and talk to loved ones if they’re experiencing mental unwellness. The themes of Fionna and Cake seem to center a lot around misery and depression, so don’t forget that you are not alone, and there is help available.

Hotline Numbers:

Mental Health or Suicide Crisis Hotline: 988 (you can also text with them using this number.)

#my thoughts on the only father/daughter pair in young adult fiction where the dad isn't a deadbeat or straight up dead and #the bad things they've been through isn't his fault. #or i mean i guess there are others but what is WITH young adult fiction's determination with terrible dads? #there's so much more potential in actual father/daughter love and problems outside of their control #adventure time #fionna and cake #simon and marcy #marceline the vampire queen #marceline adventure time #marceline abadeer #simon petrikov #simon adventure time #fionna campbell #cake the cat #analysis #adventure time analysis #fionna and cake analysis

[olenvasynyt]

Does Azriel have a hero complex?

So I think a lot of SJM characters have a hero complex (Rhys and Aelin especially) but I want to talk about Az specifically because I think it is an essential part of his character.  

Now since barely get any POVs with Az we do not really know the inner workings of his mind and almost everything that we know about him is from other characters’ perspectives.  So this is all based on my interpretation of him and his actions, and not every action he makes is a result of a hero complex.  And I also don’t have a psychology degree or anything like that this is just for fun and a savior complex is not something you can diagnose anyway.  This is just a character analysis!  It’s fun.

Saving people

The basic definition of a hero complex is the constant need to save people.  Most people think of the knight and damsel in distress when a hero complex is mentioned, and this is true with Az: he has rescued Mor and Elain and Gwyn.  And rescuing people is of course part of it, but it’s a lot more intricate than just that; there are tons of other tendencies someone with a savior complex can have, and I personally think Az has tons of these tendencies.

2. very perceptive and sympathetic

A person with a hero complex is very perceptive and sympathetic.  They’re usually drawn to people who’ve had a lot of trauma.  They have a lot of empathy for others who are suffering.  They’re good at knowing what a person needs.  

You see this when he teaches Feyre to fly: he offers his backstory on how he learned and his love for the Nephelle philosophy to sympathize with her and this is actually the first time we hear Az talk a bit about his own past.  He is very sympathetic and perspective with Elain.  In ACOWAR he’s very quiet and courteous with her and offers to take her to see the garden.

I really like this quote: 

Page 334 of ACOWAR: It made sense, I supposed, that Azriel alone had listened to her.  The male who heard things others could not…Perhaps he too had suffered as Elain before he understood what gift he possessed.

3. Doing the dirty but necessary work

A person with a hero complex does the dirty but necessary work that most people don’t want to do.  I would argue that being the court torture-master is doing the dirty work.  And Rhys’ father used him and his shadow abilities when he was alive and high lord, and he is part of Rhys’ inner circle so he is important and he votes on things, etc, but he still does the dirty work, he does the spying and the torturing.

Quote on page 175 of ACOMAF: “It’s hard to tell with him—and he’d never tell me.  I’ve witnessed Cassian rip apart opponents and then puke his guts up once the carnage stopped, sometimes mourn over them.  But Azriel…Cassian tries, I try…but I think the only person who ever gets him to admit his feelings is Mor.  And that’s only when his infinite patience runs out.”

Cassian says Rhys’ father ”kept [Az] for himself as his personal shadowsinger—mostly for spying and dirty work.” 

And you can’t really tell if as likes this work but it is important.  

In ACOMAF page 288:  ”Does he mind what he does?  Not the spying, I mean.  What he did to the Attor today.” ”It’s hard to tell with him—and he’d never tell me.  I’ve witnessed Cassian rip apart opponents and then puke his guts up once the carnage stopped, sometimes mourn over them.  But Azriel…Cassian tries, I try…but I think the only person who ever gets him to admit his feelings is Mor.  And that’s only when his infinite patience runs out.”

4. Dismissing their own needs/pain, neglecting self-care

And that sort of brings me to my next point: 

They dismiss their own needs and continue to help others even if it negatively impacts them.  Not only does he keep secrets about his past, but he doesn’t like when people worry about him.

ACOMAF page 288: ”Are you worried about Az going to the mortal lands tomorrow?”  ”Of course I am.  But Azriel has infiltrated places far more harrowing than a few mortal courts.  He’d find my worrying insulting.”

He works really hard and that’s another huge thing with a savior / hero complex.  He works himself so hard to the point where his friends worry for him.

Page 376 ACOMAF: ”Getting Azriel to take any time for himself that didn’t involve work or training was nearly impossible.”

He often wants to go into battle even when he was injured.

Quote from ACOWAR page 610:  ”The argument with Rhys this morning had been swift and brutal: Azriel insisted he could fly—fight with they legions….Rhys refused…Azriel threatened to slip into shadow and fight anyway.  Rhys merely said that if he so much as tried, he’d chain him to a tree…It was only when Mor had begged him that he relented.”

5. Emotional and psychological burnout

And all of this leads to burnout which is a huge thing with Az.  He’s obviously very broody, and he suppresses his feelings, works really hard doing very laborious and traumatizing things and this leads to burnout.  We have evidence of this from not only his broodiness and quietness,

Page 293 of ACOMAF: Az gets back from the mortal realm, he’s described as needing to “return and assess…assess—and brood, it seemed, since Azriel had barely managed a polite hello to me before launching into sparring with Rhysand, his face grim and tight.” Used sparring to ”help work off his frustration”.

but physically too with the headaches that he gets.

Page 186 of ACOFAS:  “I had Madja make it for me.  It’s a powder to mix in with any drink…it’s for the headaches everyone always gives you.  Since you rub your temples too often.”

6. Low self-esteem, need for perfection

He doesn’t think he’s good enough, he doesn’t think his work is enough, he doesn’t think his ’heroic actions’ are enough.  You can see this with his spies; he wants his spying to be perfect to help people and help his High Lord. 

Page 376 ACOMAF: —the frustration of not being able to get his spies or himself into those courts took a toll on him.  The standards to which he held himself, [Mor] confided in me, bordered on sadistic. 

(this also contributes to the fact that he pushes himself too hard)

ACOMAF 205-206, Rhys says  ”I don’t trust this information, even with your sources…”  ”They can be trusted,” Azriel said with quiet steel, his scarred hands clenching at his leather-clad sides.  ”We aren’t taking risks where this is concerned,” Rhys merely said.  He held Azriel’s stare, and I could almost hear the silent words Rhys added, It is no judgement or reflection on you, Az.  Not at all. But Azriel yielded no tinge of emotion as he nodded, his hands unfurling. ”So what do we have planned?” Mor cut in—perhaps for Az’s sake.

Everyone understands he has low self esteem.

Page 256 ACOMAF: ”He set down his fork, blinking.  I might even called him self-conscious.”

And in ACOWAR Rhys says he doesn’t think he’s good enough for Mor.

Page 460 of ACOWAR:  Feyre: ”But—he loves her.  How can he sit idly by?” Rhys: ”He thinks she’s happier without him…he thinks he’s unworthy of her.”

I go back and forth between if he thinks he’s deserving of Elain or not, because this quote says he isn’t worthy,

ACOSF bonus chapter: “She looked up at him, her face so trusting and hopeful and open that he knew she had no idea that he had done unspeakable things that sullied his hands far beyond their  scars.  Such terrible things that it was a sacrilege for his fingers to skin, tainting her with his presence.  But he could have this. This one moment, and maybe a taste, and that would be it.”

but another quote in the bonus chapter implies so does think he’s worthy but I’ll talk about that later.

7. Guilt and overthinking

Az seems to often feel guilty when one of the plans goes wrong; he thinks he didn’t do as much as he could have.

Page 346 of ACOWAR:  ”Hybern had made its grand move at last.  And we had not anticipated it.  I knew Azriel would take the blame upon himself.  One look at the shadowsinger…told me he already did.”

He may have felt guilty for not reaching Cassian in time when he was gutted fighting that Hybern commander in ACOWAR

Page 543 of ACOWAR:  ”’By the time Az got there, he was down.’ Azriel’s face was stone-cold, even as his hazel eyes fixed unrelentingly upon that knitting wound.”

He might feel guilty for not helping Mor enough with Az, and he also feels guilty for keeping Rhys’ plan to let Keir into Velaris a secret.

Page 414 of ACOWAR:  "Whether [Mor] knew that though she’d tried to move past the bargain we’d made, the guilt of it still haunted Azriel, she didn’t let on.”

And when Eris calls More a slut, Az attacks him violently and Feyre has to call him off.  And I think this was a telling sign of his guilt:  

Page 429 of ACOWAR: 

”As Azriel turned his face toward me—The frozen rage rooted me to the spot.  But beneath it, I could almost see the images that haunted him: the hand Mor had yanked away, her weeping, distraught face as she had screamed at Rhys.”

He defends people to make up for his guilt, which sort of brings me to my next point:

8. Issues with overstepping boundaries and self-efficacy

I’m not talking about him kissing Elain in the bonus chapter and overstepping the boundaries of her mating bond with Lucien.  I’m talking about how a person with a hero complex oversteps and takes on other people’s responsibilities/problems.  With self-efficacy, a person with a hero complex might unintentionally undermine someone’s self-efficacy by not allowing them to face and overcome challenges on their own.

And he doesn’t do this all the time. In fact there are situations, specifically emotional situations that don’t pertain to him, that he walks away from and he goes ” That’s not my business.”

But you see this with Mor a lot, he is super defensive for Mor: when Eris calls her a slut during the High Lord’s meeting, he attacks him and chokes him out.  He jumps to her defense all the time even when she doesn’t ask for it.

He also refuses Elain’s offer to look for the Trove in ACOSF:

Page 311 of ACOSF: “We do not have the time to wait for Nesta to decide.  I say we approach Elain tomorrow.  Better to have both of them working on it.” Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.”

9. Fear of abandonment and rejection

And all of this pertaining to the hero complex, including overstepping boundaries, continuously helping, etc can be because of their fear of rejection.  A person with a savior complex fears being alone so they continuously help others to ensure their relationship continues.

Az actually tried to bring up his feelings for Mor after he rescues her from the Autumn court border and she leaves (talk about bad timing AZ) but I feel like Az hasn’t brought up his love for Mor because he fears rejection and also because of his low self-esteem.

Mor often has an argument with Rhys and he turns to Az to defend her and often he’s hesitant.  

Page 186 of ACOWAR:  Mor whipped her head to Azriel.  ”What do you think?”  The shadowsinger held her stare, his face unreadable.  Considering.  I tried not to hold my breath.  Defending the female he loved or siding with his High Lord…”It’s not my call to make.” ”That’s a bullshit answer,” Mor challenged.   ”I could have sworn hurt flickered in Azriel’s eyes, but he only shrugged.

You see this with his guilt that I brought up before with not doing enough to stop Hybern from attacking in ACOWAR, and his guilt over not telling Mor about their plan with Kier and Eris and letting Keir have access to Velaris.  

And this is an excellent quote:

Page 460 of ACOWAR:  ”There will come a day when Azriel has to decide if he is going to fight for her or let her go.  And it won’t be because some other male insults her or beds her.”

And he probably fears rejection from Elain.

10. A need for validation

Now another tendency a person with a savor complex can have is the need for validation, they want acknowledgment for the good things they’ve done, and this can lead to resentment if they are acknowledged.

And I don’t necessarily think this is Az, I feel like he would just say that helping is his job, being spymaster is his job, saving people is his job” but you can see in the bonus chapter of Silver Flames when Rhys asks him if he thinks he deserves Elain as a mate, he says ”I don’t think Lucien will be good enough for him” which in my opinion implies that Az thinks he is more heroic / more worthy of having Elain as a mate and sees Lucien as a coward.

ACOSF bonus chapter: “The Cauldron chose three sisters. Tell me how it's possible that my two brothers are with two of those sisters, yet the third was given to another.” “You believe you deserve to be her mate?"   “I think Lucien will never be good enough for her…”

There are obviously tons of other aspects of a hero complex beside a knight rescuing a damsel that I think apply to Az; he is a super traumatized and I think his hero complex / heroism in general is a result of that.

#acotar #azriel shadowsinger #tiktok video summary #character analysis #mor acotar #elain archeron #rhysand #a court of thorns and roses

[kdbleu]

Ok so question (because I enjoy your analysis on these characters in the bear).

People who share the opinion that Carmy and Sydney should remain platonic soulmates and agree they have chemistry but they don’t read it as romantic.

From my vantage point I see the editing as obviously suggestive with the parallels in his relationship to Claire vs Syd.

Carmy obviously outwardly shows his interest on a seemingly subconscious level and with changed behavior.

Sydney on the other hand reads as very guarded (relatable) but still seeking connection as someone else pointed out. She hasn’t done any work to change that in terms of actively going to therapy. So I’m confused as to why people would think that a person as guarded as she is would outwardly like Carmy reciprocate her deep down romantic feels that I would assume she suppressing. She’s obviously good at it because she’s ambitious and a working professional. Case in point her reaction to Marcus’s date request.

What I do feel people should maybe reflect on more is her reaction to ‘Who’s Claire?’ Where I do agree that it was mostly frustration due to Camry dropping the ball and significant part was subconscious romantic jealousy. Also her insistence on him defining their (Claire and Carmy’s) relationship. Lastly, there’s no way in hell I would accept someone telling my boyfriend “I don’t want to share your focus” and him responding with “you deserve my focus” while she’s fully aware he’s in a relationship that SHE put him in 😂…because WHAT!?!

Sorry this was long and yeah I’d love to hear your thoughts?

Sydney desire for Carmy to define his relationship with Claire comes from Sydney wanting to know where she stands. She's ambitious an smart. She's let Carmy get away with a lot in her short time knowing each other, but she's reached a point where she's investing a lot in his restaurant. She needs to know if it's time to cut bait. Sydney deserves to know is she's working against a relationship that's going to continue to get in the way of The Bear?

And then she does what Sydney does. She tells Carmy how she wants to be treated. She tells him “I don’t want to share your focus.” I think by the time Carmy replies with, "You deserve my focus" he already knows he's going to break things off with Claire so in his mind he isn't really committing himself to another person while he has a girlfriend. He just hasn't seen Claire yet to do it. I think that's part of his distraction and lack of interest in Claire being at the restaurant at all. I doubt her meant to break up with her the way he did, but I also think Claire could have talked him out of doing it if they'd been face to face which is something to think about too.

As for Marcus... I almost feel bad because as early as Copenhagen I could see that he had probably been nursing a crush that Sydney inadvertently egged along throughout S1 and early S2. But once it's a real question instead of hints and international phone calls, she politely but firmly says no. Which also makes me think, part of Sydney wanting Carmy to define things between him and Claire is so she can sus out whether or not he's one of those guy who just strings a girl along. I think that's as much what she's getting at in the beginning of their conversation about him being shitty and that he's the one who makes it more about her.

And like the "Who's Claire?" moment of jealousy, it works because it's personal hurt hiding behind very neatly behind earned professionally annoyance.

#the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmy berzatto #sydney adamu #carmy x sydney #sydney x carmy #the bear

[eobarried]

ok let’s talk about miguel o’hara because it needs to be done. i want to clarify that this is not a hate post or anti-miguel in any sense, but it is a critical analysis of his character and role in the spiderverse. if you don’t feel like you can read this right now, i suggest you like it/save it for later and read it when you feel like you can with an open mind

especially for anyone who’s a miguel enjoyer (i consider myself one as well) because if you really love his character, it’s important to understand why his character was created and what a great narrative tool it is! anyway-

miguel o’hara is, allegorically, a bigot. 

now - let’s unpack and clarify that. miguel is allegorically a bigot - his character is used to represent a certain, specific type of bigotry we see in real life. notice how i’m saying “bigot” and not “racist” - because despite the memes, i don’t think miguel’s hatred of miles is rooted in antiblackness. i think it’s rooted in something a little more complicated, which is why i’m using the term bigotry. but this can be a little confusing, so let’s start from the beginning. or, at least, the most important part.

the canon.

i want you to really think about the word used here - canon. hearing that word should break the fourth wall for you, just like hearing “he’s got hammerspace!” should have earlier in the movie - or discussions different characters have surrounding their distinct art styles. it’s meant to break the fourth wall and draw attention to itself. specifically, the use of the word canon here is meant for us to take a step back from the in-universe events (treating the characters as “real” people and looking at events logically) and instead think of the spiderman story and mythos.

spiderman, as a story, has been told over and over again. we, as an audience, are deeply familiar with this story, as we’ve seen it as a live-action blockbuster in no less than three separate franchises. that’s not even mentioning all the cartoon adaptations, and of course the comic runs. adhering to a specific formula surrounding the story makes sense. when someone walks into a spiderman movie, they have certain... expectations. that no matter what version of spiderman this is, that they follow certain story beats and adhere to certain rules as they follow along in their journey. miguel, when explaining this to miles, focuses on said story beats (which i’ll get to in a second), but there’s something that’s way more important than specific plot points that we need to address here.

and that’s theme. 

theme (if you’re not an english literature person), is basically something you take away from the story. it’s usually a moral, idea, or concept that can be applied to the world around you, and helps you learn more about yourself, society, culture, or history. all stories have themes - usually they have multiple. so let’s get into it.

the original spiderman comic was notable in several ways. the thing that made spiderman so popular and successful is that he was the first (notable) teenage superhero that wasn’t a part of a greater team. spiderman wasn’t a sidekick that was written in to appeal to an audience of children. he was a teenager himself - but he was no less competent or strong than the (mostly adult) villains he fought. 

and not only was spiderman a kid - he was the kid. he was a nerd. he was an older white teen, yes - but he represented the type of person who would go out and buy a comic book more than any other hero at the time. before he became spiderman, peter parker was just kind of a geek. at the time (the 60s) this still identified him as an outcast. peter was socially awkward, not good with girls, he didn’t have many friends, and he was bullied consistently. the only thing he was good at was science, basically. we can connect peter’s original portrayal to many legitimately marginalized groups - specifically those that might be autistic and impacted by ableism. to those kids reading that comic, they saw a hero that represented them.

and how does peter represent them? what does spiderman teach these children by reading these comics? the original spiderman is the story of a man who, by chance, was granted the opportunity for greatness - to become an integral part of his community. spiderman uses his skills (both those granted to him by the spider, but also those that he inherently has, such as his skills with science and engineering), in order to prove his worth and merit. it’s lonely, the road he has to walk - he can’t tell his friends and family who he is, lest they become victims like uncle ben - or lest they betray him. he can only rely on himself and his own knowledge in order to protect his community. the themes we draw from spiderman are this: luck can strike at any time, but you need to use your own strength and intelligence to pull yourself up afterwards, no matter how hard things get. no matter how many people you lose.

that’s what miguel believes spiderman is about. this original spiderman story is that of the american dream. of a youth who is ostracized by society (for whatever reason), but is still able to use their own merit to overcome the obstacles placed in front of them and the grief and pain they face on their path to greatness. it’s a hard and lonely path, but miguel values anyone who has the bravery to face it.

so why does he hate miles?

because he didn’t do it alone. because miles doesn’t believe in the traditional american dream.

if you want to read more about that, check out my analysis comparing spider-society and visions academy over here (it’s not as in-depth as i would like it to be, but it gets the job done) but basically: miles believes that every person deserves greatness. he states it very clearly when talking to his dad about how he won the lottery to go to visions: he just got lucky. he feels as if he took an opportunity away from someone else. why is it just given to him, when anyone else at brooklyn middle is just as deserving of an amazing education? when these resources should be put to use to uplift his whole community, not just miles alone?

miles brings that same energy as a spider-person. he’s not just an anomaly because his spider was from a different dimension. he’s an anomaly because he had a mentor. not only a mentor - he had a whole clan of spider-people there for him. while peter b parker and the crew weren’t always very good allies for miles, they still wanted him to succeed. each spider-person was an outcast - not in the same way as miles, but they were eager to describe what miles needed to master in order to keep himself safe as a crime-fighter. although they weren’t always supportive, it wasn’t because they were “gatekeeping” - it’s because they were worried miles might hurt himself. to them, he hadn’t put in the work on his own, and because he hadn’t proven himself as a spider-person in isolation, they thought there was no way he could be successful as a spider-person during a very high-risk mission.

however, miles proves them wrong. it’s true that miles has to pull upon his own inner strength, but he also pulls on wisdom from those that mentored him - his father, his uncle aaron, peter parker, and peter b parker. as well as love and support from his community. miles became spiderman - but not in isolation. he had help, and support, and love - always - that helped him succeed.

because spiderman - in all universes - represents success in america. in the original comics, spiderman is able to overcome his status as an outcast in order to help his city. he now has great power - a potential allegory related to wealth and social or political status. he uses that power in order to protect the community he loves (nyc) as they can’t all protect themselves.

now let’s bring it back. miguel. right.

miguel has already made his mark as a spiderman. although we know he broke canon, it wasn’t related to him becoming spiderman. we can assume that miguel still went through serious struggle and trauma to get to where he’s at. and now, through thematic analysis, we know that becoming spiderman represents success in america.

so, miguel’s dislike of miles, thematically, connects to how older generations may believe that younger generations “have it too easy” or “don’t put in the same effort.” it’s the (mainly capitalistic) ideal that in order to succeed, it has to be in isolation, without outside help. we can infer that miguel is not only upset that miles didn’t do things “canonically” - but that he is afforded success that miguel doesn’t think he deserves. miguel believes that in order to succeed in america, one needs to do it on their own, and suffer in order to succeed. no “hand-outs,” no support, no community outreach. it’s a very rigid capitalistic standard - which is why i called it “bigoted.” miguel is still a marginalized figure - and it’s important that miguel is the one stating the viewpoint, not a white spiderman. because this isn’t a white vs black storyline. miguel’s dislike of miles is specifically a sort of generational, inter-community bigotry.

for someone who hasn’t experienced it - think of it like hazing. you join a new sports team. the senior players say “you carry the equipment out and clean everything after the game.” you ask “why? can’t we all just do it together? aren’t we supposed to be a team?” and they say “no. you’re the new guys. hard work builds character. deal with it.”

alright. so we took a look at canon through a meta-story lens. now let’s pull it back even further.

so, miguel’s ideology. he adheres firmly to canon, a series of events that cannot (or, should not), change. if we apply that to our lives, that sounds a lot like predestination. destiny. fate. let’s call it predestination for now - you’ll see why in a minute.

now, a belief in predestination makes sense. it can bring a lot of people comfort, thinking that horrible events are out of their hands, and often times it can be harmless to believe in predestination in these instances. for example: someone who blames themselves for not being able to say goodbye to a loved one who died suddenly. if this person believes in predestination, it might ease some of their pain and guilt to know that there was nothing they could do - that it was the will of some higher power that their loved one is gone, and that there was nothing they could do to prevent it. some individuals might find comfort in knowing that they are not to blame for the work of the universe.

however, predestination can also be malicious. thinking that things are the will of the universe, or the will of god... that’s been used for some pretty fucked up stuff in the past. in a more moderate (and topical) example - royalty. many kings used the concept of predestination to explain why they deserved the crown. their bloodline was chosen by god himself - that’s why they’re powerful (compare to spider-people and their success. if they are also predestined for their spider-bite, doesn’t that make them akin to monarchs?)

in more nefarious examples, predestination can be used to subjugate and oppress others. predestination was used in ancient indian society in order to justify the caste system - utilizing the hindu concept of karma to justify why certain members of society were mistreated and oppressed. in a more american sense, predestination was often used as a way to justify both slavery and segregation. originally, slavers tried to justify that god wanted black individuals to serve as slaves because it was his will. later, when divine intervention fell out of fashion, they attempted to use eugenics to justify that black individuals were simply born inferior - that it was just science, and that there was nothing they could do about it.

that’s the other reason it’s called canon. the original usage of the word was to refer to the books of the bible that the church recognized as legitimate. it ties back to faith and religion. 

now, religion, faith, and even the belief in fate itself - are not inherently bad. miguel’s belief in predestination doesn’t make him a bad or bigoted person inherently. however, the way he forces other to believe and adhere to it is. it’s very likely that miguel became so attached to the canon in order to justify why his wife and daughter died - in order to remove his own accountability for their passing and instead place the blame on some higher power. this belief snowballed out of control, however - and now influences his jealousy and distaste for miles and his way of life.

because forcing a canon - a story - on miles, is wrong. when miguel tells miles that his father must die, that he has to adhere to canon - that’s a horrible thing to say to a young black boy. to tell him that in order to be successful as a marginalized individual (to be spiderman) that he has to lose the last black male role model he has? it’s heinous! it’s akin to telling miles that in order to succeed, he has to cut ties with part of his culture. which does happen to young marginalized people in america. they are told that in order to be successful, they have to leave their culture, community, and support system behind.

it’s especially sinister when looking at it from the point of view of storytelling. when looking at it from that angle, miguel is basically telling miles that in order for his story - the story of a young black boy - to be profitable, he has to go through even more trauma and loss. it’s similar to what his guidance counselor mentions when discussing how miles should write his college entrance essay - that he should lie, and emphasize that he struggles while growing up, and that his support system was unstable. it’s the traditional story of a struggling black boy - which i discuss more here when talking about earth 42 miles and his inclusion in the spiderverse.

miguel’s bigotry is centrally tried to his idea of what american society expects of marginalized individuals who were able to achieve their dreams despite it all. a story of pain and struggle. one where they were able to - only through their own strength and intelligence, and maybe with a little bit of luck - pull themselves up, and quietly work towards their own success.

miguel’s belief in the american dream and predestination not only influences his treatment of miles, but also his creation of spider-society. now, let me be frank: miguel, in this franchise, is not supposed to represent someone who created systematic oppression. he’s simply one of the people who believed in bigoted ideals and allowed those ideals to influence his decisions. because when miguel created spider-society, it basically became an elitist isolation chamber. spider-society is located in a huge tower on miguela’s earth. the tower is so tall and imposing on the utopian landscape, there’s no way that miguel is able to properly support his own community as spiderman - he’s not worried about what happens to his own community. especially once we learn that a good portion of them live underground, where miguel can’t even see them. even if he wasn’t occupied with anomalies at all times, there’s no way he could even connect with nueva york around him.

the same can be said of all the spider-people in headquarters. they’re not even in their home dimensions. how can they possibly support their communities when they have isolated themselves as far away as they could literally be? it parallels how successful individuals often treat their communities in reality - what do wealthy people usually do at the first sign of their wealth? they build a huge mansion to get away from it all. many times in our capitalist society, wealthy and successful people abandon the communities they should be supporting. 

miguel represents that. he is a successful, powerful person, who decided to focus only on other successful, powerful people like him. marginalized people who achieved the american dream on their own. people who, instead of uplifting others, instead tear down those who don’t fit into their “mold.” who are successful in their own right, but don’t hold the same ideals and values that they do. who aren’t the model example of marginalized success in the eyes of the (white) american “audience.” 

miguel is a product of a great problem within society. while he partakes and perpetuates bigotry, that doesn’t mean that he’s irredeemable. the narrative shows that miguel is a broken man. if we think about to the end credits scene from itsv, where he calls his dimensional travel bracelet a “goober” - he wasn’t always so hateful. he wasn’t always like this. he can un-learn his bigotry and he isn’t completely lost. the way that he discusses his ideas - it’s clear that he knows that there are flaws in them, just as other spider-people consistently point out. he can be changed and improved - just like our real leaders and role models can be changed and improved. miguel is not without saving - but it’s important to remember that he does need to be saved. 

#Spiderverse #across the spiderverse #across the spider-verse spoilers #into the spider verse #miguel o'hara #meta analysis