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#and i mean. there is really Nothing they can do. its out of their hands
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shoot an arrow through my heart
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max verstappen x reader
there's something you need to hear max say, but you're not sure if he's actually going to say it. you do know one thing though, it was always gonna be you and max.
a/n: started this longer ago than i'd like to admit but here we are! a big thank you to my fave beta reader K and to @scuderiahoney who helped me figure out all the banner image stuff. based on prompt #966 from this list.
masterlist
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It starts with Lando. Because doesn’t it always? 
Lando says shit he doesn’t mean, Lando says things just for the sake of saying them. Lando says things as if they are fundamentally truths when they are in fact are lies.
And so, one moment you’re hanging out with Lando, letting him talk you down from buying the little trinket of the week you’ve fixated on, and the next he’s saying that Max is in love with you, saying it like it’s a truth, and then moving on as if he hasn’t just tilted your world on its axis.
And then, before you know it, you’re banging on Max’s front door trying to figure out if it’s true or not. 
Trying to figure out if your best friend is in love with you.
“Max! Open the door.”
He doesn’t.
You honestly don’t know if you want him to, or what you’re going to do when he does. Or if he even will, Max doesn’t know you’re here and you don’t even know if he’s home.
You’re just about ready to search for the spare key, the one you told him to hide in the firehose down the hallway because having a fake rock in front of his door makes no sense when he lives in an apartment building, when the door is flung open and a very grumpy looking Max, headset in hand, is giving you just about the most fed-up, unimpressed, stare you’ve seen in your life.
“Are you in love with me?” You can’t help it, the words foreign on your tongue but there’s an urgency to get them out and into the space in between you. You’re so desperate to hear him say it back.
Max blinks at you, bewildered at your words. You can see the gears turning in his head trying to work out what you just said and if you’re being honest you don’t know if you should be offended at the fact that the answer isn’t an immediate yes.
His brow furrows and his lips purse, “what?”
A beat passes, and then another, and then the idiot actually has the audacity to close the door.
You roll your eyes, even if he can’t see it you know that he knows that you’re doing it. As you push the exasperation out of your lungs you knock again.
“Max, nuh-uh, that is not going to work, open the door and answer my question.”
Nothing.
You bang your fist on the door one more time for good measure, “Max, you know I know where your spare key is and we both know that I’ll let myself in if necessary.”
It’s true and he knows it. 
There have been many nights where you’ve verged on the edge of too far gone and walked from the club to his apartment. Nights where you didn’t want the fun to end so instead of going home you go to Max’s where you can cuddle and coo at Jimmy and Sassy and sit around in comfy clothes and watch as Max putters around doing whatever it was he was doing before you came over.
It’s true. He knows it. But still, he doesn’t open the door.
You sigh and softly thump your forehead against Max’s front door, through the absence of your knocking you can hear his nervous shuffling on the other side. The inquisitive meows from the cats, the faint scrape of the peephole cover as Max checks to see if you’re still there, if you’re still waiting for him. 
You would wait for him for forever, but that’s just for you to know really.
Max opens the door again, just the barest amount. Just enough so his eyes, wide and disbelieving can lock onto yours. 
They’re so blue, you don’t know how you never noticed it before, so classically storybook blue that you’re really starting to wonder if this is all some kind of weird dream where you’re standing at his doorstep begging to be loved by him, like some kind of cheesy romcom star. Because after all, aren’t you just a girl standing in front of a guy?
“You’re in love with me.”
The words stretch the impossible distance between the two of you. Even when he’s halfway around the globe he’s never felt this far away.
And still, somehow, you feel too close to him. Like somehow all the other versions of you and him have been false proxies to what you’re reaching for right now. Like all of a sudden, somehow, he’s been molded into your every contour of your soul and you don’t want anything else
The door edges open a little wider.
“Are you asking me that or are you telling me?”
He’s stalling, you both know it. But, you can’t really bring yourself to do more than give him a fondly smile and roll your eyes at him. Because you know, if the roles were reversed, if he was the one throwing pebbles like some kind of suave Dutch romeo, demanding to know if you were in love with him, you would be doing the same thing.
“You and I both know how much you like being told what to do.” With a sigh Max opens the door to his apartment a little wider once more to let you in, “and yet, you’re still here telling me to open my door.”
You can’t really fault him for that one can you?
You make your way to the living room where you settle down on your spot on the couch while Max flits around the living room. Sassy is meowing at Max, desperate for a taste of the outside she only ever gets when the front door opens, and even though he knows she’s not going to make a run for it he still takes the time to half-heartedly shoo her away.
Max does this, dragging his feet, until both of the cats have curled up next to you on the couch and it is only then that he makes his way over to you. Coming to stand behind the armrest on his side of the couch, putting a little too much distance between the two of you for you to not feel spurned by him.
You can hear it in silence between you, you can feel it in the way your body seems to ache from having him in the ways you have him now and not in the ways you want to have him.
You’re not ready to have this conversation.
There’s a part of you that almost wants to say nevermind and forget that you even said anything in the first place. But deep down you know that the two of you have been putting on this elaborate dog and pony show for far too long. You’re only delaying the inevitable.
“So,” you say, nervously running your fingers over the fabric of the couch. “Is it true?”
You try to catch his eye as you say it, not only to try to make sure he doesn't chicken out but to see the reaction he gives. You want to see his soul and know that he means whatever he says.
But Max doges your gaze at every move in a way that makes him look like a kicked puppy. And you’re not really sure what it means but you can feel the way the dynamic has shifted. All of a sudden the two of you are on shaky ground, not sure where you stand with each other. Even though two hours earlier you would have called him your best friend with your entire heart.
“Well?”
“Please,” he says your name, strained and with a weight to it that you don’t quite want to acknowledge, “don’t make me say it.”
You’re not above begging, you really aren’t, but something about the way he sounds makes you falter. Just a little.
“Max,” you say his name softly, “I think you and I both know what your answer is going to be.”
“Then why do you need to hear it so bad?” His words bite, tinged with an anger that you know he doesn't really mean. “So, I can say it back!” Your words match the sharpness in his and you can see how much they throw Max off kilter.
He blinks at you and then rocks on his feet, first a step forward and then a step back like he’s blown away by the force of what you said. “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Why did you never tell me?”
You cross your arms and shrug your shoulders, “it was a personal issue.”
“You being in love with me kind of also involves me.” 
You really don’t want to admit that he’s right on with that one.
You huff and shrug your shoulders again, “well it goes both ways, why didn’t you say anything?”
“I asked first,” Max shoots back.
You groan at his response and launch yourself up towards Max in a play attempt to strangle him. “Argh, you’re so!” You drape your arms over his shoulders as you slump against him, head resting in the spot where his shoulder meets his neck, “God I hate you.”
Max laughs underneath you, his arms coming up to wrap around your waist, “you evidently don’t.”
“You're so silly,” you sigh, tilting your head up to look at him. "You want to hear me say it so bad."
Your nose nearly brushes against his, he’s so close you think you could count every single one of his eyelashes if you tried.
Max makes a noise that’s somewhere between exasperated and surprised and you know that you’re toeing the line with your teasing
You always know when to give in when it comes to him.
“Okay, yes, I love you! I love you,” you say, “do you love me?”
“Yeah, I do,” Max says as he moves to cradles your jaw in his hands. “I love you.”
You grin, “good. Now kiss me please.”
And he does. He does and it feels like all the cliche things people say. It feels like coming home, it feels like fireworks are going off in the background, it feels like you were meant to be, that he was made for you just as much as you were made for him.
And you just know. You know that there can never be anyone else but him. That there was a version of you before Max and now there’s going to be a version of you that’s with Max, but there’s never going to be a you after Max.
“I love you.” Softer, quieter this time.
You don’t dare look him in the eye, instead choosing to press your cheek against his and stare out the window of his apartment. Your gaze settles somewhere in the distance as you try to memorize the feel of his body pressed up against yours.
You curl your fingers around the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging absentmindedly as you say, “I’m glad that worked out, I didn’t even know you were home.”
He pulls away from you to fix you with a look that is so quintessentially Max, “you have my location on your phone, you’re always stalking me,” he says, punctuating his words with little jabs to your shoulder.
It’s true, and you honestly don’t know why you didn’t try to check his location in the first place, your logic getting lost somewhere in the panic of knowing that he loved you. 
“Mhmm.” You shrug noncommittally, trying very hard to ignore the rushing feeling of warmth in your chest that comes with the realization that Max was so ingrained in your life and you in his from the start. 
You try not to think about the fact your toothbrush sits next to his in his bathroom, about the fact that your hand automatically gravitates to his favorite spoon in your cutlery drawer, the one you can identify solely based on the weight of it in your hand. You try very hard to think about how you couldn’t separate the love from the friendship.
It was always gonna be you and Max. 
There’s a silence between you for a moment. You try to match your breath to his and let the sounds of outside filter through your ears. And for a moment you can hear how the rest of the world keeps turning, even when your world has stopped spinning on its axis.
“So, what now?” Max asks, turning his head to press kisses to your hairline, his hand squeezing your waist. You can feel his nose brush against your temple as he makes his way down, lips featherlight on your skin. The intimacy of it makes your blood sing with electricity. 
You pull “Mhmm, you could take me to bed?”
It’s half serious, half a joke. You’ve waited so long to have Max like this that now that you finally do you want him in all ways possible. But still, there’s some young and girlish part of you that wants it to be special.
Max pretends to think about it for a little bit and it’s so impossibly silly that you have to resist the urge to strangle him again for it, “it’s three in the afternoon, I think it’s a little early for sleep.”
“You know that’s not what I mean, stop being a smartass.”
Max smiles, taking your hand in his and lacing your fingers together. “Well,” he says, “how about I send you home so you can get all nice and pretty for me and then I’ll come pick you up and take you to a nice dinner, hmm?”
You flush, not just from the way he pours honey, slow and sweet, into your ear, but from the way it feels like this was always meant to be. Like you were always meant to have this, always meant to have him. 
“And then,” he says, dropping your hand to pull you in by your belt loops so your hips are press flush against his, “after dinner, that’s when I’ll take you to bed.”
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1800-lemonadeg1rl · 3 days
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Sleepless nights
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Natasha Romanoff x reader
Minors dni!! Masterlist°•☆
Summary - you go on a routine mission which ends badly how will your girlfriend react
Warnings - gunshots, violence, bullet wounds, mention of stitches, likely medically incorrect, blood, hospital? Not proofread
word count - 1.5k
A/n - I dont know what happened while writing this its all a blackout. As always any feedback is rlly appreciated!!!
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It was just supposed to be another simple routine mission. Over and done with in a matter of hours. But of course nothing was ever as easy as predicted.
It had all been going with relative ease until you and Clint were fighting off agents left and right. Something you were usually both good at. However where you'd found yourselves was very much enclosed meaning you couldn't run and you had no idea how many or where these agents were coming from. Your backs were against each other as you moved in circular motions around the room.
"You did this you know, everything was going just fine until you said 'wow this mission has been quite the breeze.'" You mimick Clints earlier words in a squeaky high pitched voice while taking out a couple agents. "Couldn't have just waited till we were on the quinjet could you?"
"Look I really thought it was over. At least I wasn't the one who knocked over the vase alerting everyone in the Tri-state area of our location." He pipes back as you both fall into the usual bickering banter you often did, squabbling like small children. You and Clint had always been close and worked well with each other despite the constant pecking at each other. You'd become even closer once you'd gotten together with his best friend Natasha. Well, after he stopped threatening you about breaking her heart that is.
"Okay well atleast I'm not stupid."
"Yeah real mature. What does that even mean?" He retorts back with a chuckle at how quickly you begin to lose an argument and just throw childish insults at him.
"I thought you'd be smart enough to understand a simple senten-.." You trail off as you see an agent aiming at Clint, one he hadn't noticed. Though you considered letting the agent hit him and getting to be considered the better fighter it wasn't worth letting your friend die just to one up him.
"Clint watch out." You yell frantically as you watch the agent take aim. Clint wasn't going to have time to move. You panicked and shoved him to the floor knocking him from the bullet.
You don't think much of it when you don't see the bullet land or even when you vision blurs. It's only you notice somethings up when you see a blood splattering on your hand. Instinctively you look for Clint worried something hit him but you find him staring right back at you. That's when you feel the searing pain from your hip. Placing a hand over it to find out what's wrong, you feel a cold and wet substance spilling from it.
Thats when everything starts spinning. Moving too quick but not fast enough at all. The pain feeling worse, like nothing you've ever felt before as the adrenaline wears off and the severity of the situation sets in.
"Y/n look at me." Clints voice is grounding and calm making you briefly feel better. "There's no agents left okay. We're going to walk together to the quinjet, don't rush yourself it's going to be okay." You nod along even though your unsure you'll be able to walk that far as your vision fades in and on like a flickering TV.
He moves over to you and presses your hand firmly over the wound. "Keep your hand there and apply as much pressure as you can." Despite the way you stumble around as you try to apply any pressure at all to the wound he still sounds calm like he believes you can do this.
His hand hooks around you helping hold you up as the two of you begin a slow walk back. Things aren't looking too bad at first I mean sure you can hardly see infront of you an everytime you open your mouth to speak the only thing that sounds is a groan of pain but your managing it, you feel yourself believe you'll be able to do this walk back.
That is all before you trip over a stone which sends you tumbling onto your front, directly where the bullet wound is is where you hit the hardest when you fall causing you to scream out in pain with a noise you never knew you'd make. Clint immediately tries to pull you back to your feet while telling you how close you are to getting home but it's no use as your body goes stiff, legs refusing to move.
"Natasha is gonna kill me." I mumble half heartedly as he holds me up and my vision fades for what I believe might be the final time.
"Not if she kills me first." He chuckles and that's the last thing you hear before everything goes black.
Two days. Two whole days they said you were out for. You missed two days. Two days where you didn't see Natasha but she saw you, she sat by you every minute she could and when she couldn't sit anymore she slept by you not leaving for a second. She wouldn't even leave your hospital room for food. Clint having to practically force food down her throat so she didn't end up in a hospital bed alongside you.
You blinked awake. You'd been awake about an hour prior but were too drugged up to process anything going on and had quickly fallen back into your slumber. This time you were much more determined to stay awake, that and your pain medication was wearing off and you could begin to feel a sharp pain replacing the previously dull one.
As you woke yourself up to the bright white fluorescent lights of the hospital, those lights which practically felt blinding. Giving you little time to adjust to being awake, Natasha started speaking.
"So what happened?" She sounded angry. A little rough maybe as the Russian tinged her accent slightly in a way you only heard few times. As you located where her voice had come from, a small chair just to the left of your bed. Now that you could see her she seemed more worn out or stressed out the angry. Dark circles lurked under her eyes as her forhead creased showing visible lines.
"Uh.. didn't uhm.. Clint... tell you." You slowly mumble out as you try to push myself into a sitting position but before you can Natasha is up and pushing you back down to lie down.
"The doctor said you can't sit up yet or you'll move the stitches. And no he hasn't explained anything, so you better." She lays your head back on the pillow with such a contrasting softness to the way she's speaking which is almost as if she's interrogating you.
You roll your head over the side to face her as you recount what you remember from the mission. "So basically me and Clint, well especially me are kicking ass knocking these agents to the ground. But then one aims at Clint and I push him out the way and now we're here." You explain the best you can but it's just so difficult when your heads all fuzzy and until five minutes ago you were convinced you were dead. "I thought I was gonna die 'Tasha."
"You shouldn't put yourself at risk like that baby." She says while brushing stray hairs away from your face and back behind your ears. "Things could have been a lot worse.." her voice trails off all usual roughness gone as she appears as if she may break down crying at any second. "I could have lost you."
That's all it takes for you to start crying as hot tears stream your face making it hard to see anything. Seeing your deteriorating emotional state Natasha makes the descion to crawl into the bed next to you. "Oh hush now, it's alright. I was just worried about you lyubov." she coos while leaning over to kiss your dampened cheek.
"I know I know.. I'm just really sorry... I dont ever want to lose you Natasha." Your tears keep falling despite her soft, reassuring words.
"Y/n, I don't want to lose you either. Which is why I think it could be time we retired before either of us do. Of course it's up to you though, I won't pressure you."
It takes you a minute to process her words but when you do your glad for them. You'd been considering at least cutting down your workload recently but hadn't considered Natasha would be open to retirement at such a young age. You can feel your face break out into a small smile as she suggests it herself. Her own face is one of nervous apprehension as she chews on her lip.
"Yes. Please I want nothing more than to retire and with you." You reach in to kiss her face eagerly. Your lips smothering hers in an almost desperate fashion as if you were worried it could be your last.
"If this is what retirement is like I cant wait." She whispers as she pulls away from your lips, nipping them gently first. She cups your face in her hands before leaning back in.
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justporo · 1 day
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Hi JustPoro! I wanted to share an observation with you. Maybe you can turn this into some headcanon, fanfic or just share your thoughts on it? I just started my second BG run, romancing Astarion again. I didn't really see/notice it months ago on my first run, but now it's so obvious that when Astarion is sincere he always touches his own hands and fingers, like a tell. One moment he leans forward, looks you in the eye, spreads his arms, demanding all your attention. But the next moment he looks to the side, his words become smaller, he puts his hands in front his body and starts playing with his fingers, basically shrinking back into himself, even if he still smiles. It happens a few times and it's such a heartbreaking detail. How do you think the Tav would react when they first catch on to this?
Hi Anon, thank you so much for hopping in my inbox. And oh, this is a very good observation. So I wanted to write a little drabble about it.
If you see any typos: no you don't (it's not proofread, psst)
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As a former thief you knew a tell when you saw one.
Because back in your thieving days it was part of your set of skills needed to survive. You had to know when someone was trying to rip you off. 
Astarion had a tell. Quite an obvious one too.
You hadn’t fully figured out yet what it was he was lying to you about or trying to hide from you. But it was clear that something was up, something going on behind these unusual crimson eyes, whenever he started to fidget with his hands.
Admittedly, you probably had figured it out as quickly as you did because you had stared at his hands quite often. They were beautiful hands: quite big, long, elegant and immaculately cared for fingers. You had to admit you had a thing for hands; but Astarion’s especially.
You knew exactly what those hands could do: from lockpicking even the meanest locks and making it look like magic in its own respect to dramatically being flailed around to underline the point the vampire was making; to oh so easily finding this delicate spot between your legs, caressing it, toying with it, making you lose your mind - with nothing but a touch of those fingers.
But the physical intimacy you had shared didn’t mean you were on the same terms in other aspects of your relationship.
And so the first time you noticed Astarion’s small nervous habit you didn’t let it show that you had noticed. It had been a delicate subject obviously. One of those rare moments where the vampire let precious details of his past slip.
From just the few things he had shared with you, you could imagine the horrors he must have lived through.
And from the way his body gave him away, you were sure of the pain it still caused him.
It was when his shoulders fell, his whole body basically folding in on himself from his usual cocksure flamboyant posture and attitude. His ruby eyes seemed leagues and eons away, still lingering agony swimming in them.
Those were the moments where unconsciously he started to nervously play around with his hands, obviously not even noticing. Tugging on the fingers of the other hand, pressing the thumb into the palm of the other - as if trying to give himself at least a bit of reassurance or to pull himself back by the pressure applied. And then the moment quickly passed again. Hands falling to his side again.
And so you took note but remained silent.
Until this fateful night back at Moonrise towers when Astarion had made a confession to you, you hadn’t ever expected.
Immediately it had been obvious how upsetting and strenuous it must have been for him to bring himself to even bring it up with you. So much so that you were sure he must be close to ripping his own fingers off judging by the way he worked while he opened up about his feelings for you.
So if this wasn’t the moment which would it ever be? As Astarion kept speaking you stepped closer, his eyes immediately growing big and round. So obviously afraid. Not of but of what he feared was about to happen. His words died on his lips as the vampire could only stand and watch, positively becoming a statue. His hands froze in position in front of his chest.
That’s where you gently grabbed them from with your own. He let you. Too shocked to react in any other kind of way.
“Did you notice,” you began as you started to gently massage them “that you tug on your hands when you’re upset or nervous or…” You blushed a little as you didn’t manage to finish your question, letting your gaze drop from his to where his hands were mingled with yours.
“I do?” Astarion replied bewildered, fully thrown off his groove and what he had planned to say.
You nodded, still not able to look up at him again, but kept softly soothing his fingers.
Silence fell between you as you kept going, feeling how your warmth spread to him.
After a long while you found the courage to look Astarion in the eyes again. He seemed transformed. A gentle smile was tugging on his lips, eyes full of warmth and kindness. None of that fearful behaviour that made him sink into himself but also none of the cocky performance he so often put on.
Instead, Astarion seemed genuine. Probably more so than you had seen him be this far.
And when he finally continued his speech, you felt more of that. All while you kept holding onto his hands. And - as you felt by the end of it - as he was holding onto yours.
Later, you of course still noticed those moments when Astarion nervously toyed around with his hands. But now you had no good reason to not go and do something about it.
So, whenever you noticed it happening you softly grabbed his hands, untangled his fingers and wrapped them with yours. Or pressed your palm against his. Or kissed his fingers one by one. Until the moment had passed.
And later still, when Astarion had started to learn to rely on you, you found he sometimes came to you, grabbing your hands for a bit of support. You squeezed his in reassurement and let your thumb wander over the back of his hand in these moments - until he squeezed back. A silent thank you, you’ve come to know.
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foldingfittedsheets · 5 hours
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This isn’t funny like most of my story posts but enough people have asked some for my opinions about lubricants and general tips that I figured I’d do a little master post about it.
I’m not a doctor! I just worked in a sex shop for several years and picked up a bunch of helpful nuggets, here they are.
All the links will be funny stories though, if you’re looking for a laugh.
Lubricants:
Silicone
Silicone Lube Pros: This stuff is the energizer bunny of lubricant. A very small amount goes a really long way and cannot be absorbed into the body. For anal, those experiencing vaginal dryness, or just really good penetrative sex between partners silicone is wonderful. Silicone is also extremely inert and by itself cannot cause yeast infections or allergic reactions*. Doesn’t taste or smell of anything.
*Some manufactures may add things to silicone to cut costs that could negatively impact genitals, read ingredients.
Silicone Lube Cons: Not safe with toys. Silicone lube can bond to silicone toys, this is basically always terrible. Because of its nature it can be very difficult to clean up, rags might be necessary as water will not help you much. This lubricant can feel very thin to some people who might prefer a more substantial feel. Also it can stain clothes or bedding in large quantities so having a dedicated sex blanket or towel can save sheets.
Favorite Brand: Pjur. Spendier but best overall feeling to me, nice and silky and a single bottle will last ages.
Water Based
Water Based Pros: This lube is the work horse and skeleton key of lube. If you never want to worry about what bottle you reach for, water based always has your back. It’s safe with toys, condoms, you name it. It comes in a variety of thicknesses and viscosity, there’s truly a water based lube for every preference.
Water Based Cons: Tragically, we are made of water. Human bodies love to absorb the water part of this equation, meaning it needs to be reapplied more frequently. For certain activities or bodies it’s nicer to have a lube that doesn’t need quite so much reapplication. Additionally you have to be careful of what ingredients* get added, many cost saving ones are a yeast infection in a bottle.
*Never use Astroglide, KY, or Vaseline, they bank on brand recognition and make the shittiest lube in feel, performance, and body safety. Glycerin or glycol is always a red flag ingredient for vaginal use.
Favorite Brand: Earthly bodies WaterSlide. There are So Many water based options that it’s hard to pick. This was my go to because it has a pretty okay feel but its ingredients list is short and to the point with nothing offensive like glycol to watch out for. It rehydrates very nicely if you lick it, it doesn’t throw off vaginal pH, and it’s inexpensive and easy to get. Even Walmart has it.
Hybrid
Hybrid Lube Pros: As the name suggests this is like silicone and water based had a baby. This lubricant has more body than a traditional silicone while being much more long lasting than a water based on its own. It cleans up easier than silicone and is still a good option for any type of sex except toys.
Hybrid Lube Cons: Still not safe to use with toys. That’s basically it. It’s pretty great.
Favorite Brand: Sliquid. I love their hybrid, it feels very nice with more substance than a silicone on its own and they’re a very nice brand overall in every category.
Oil Based
Oil Based Pros: Oil based is almost always on hand in either olive or coconut oil, it’s second only to silicone in butt stuff territory and some people prefer oil. Like the Roman Empire, which, I can’t blame them. Tastes and smells pretty nice.
Oil based Cons: Cannot be used with condoms. Kind of a big deal! Using condoms with anal is still a good idea but oil based lost favor when it turned out it destroys the most common modern prophylactic. Additionally oil can mess with vaginal pH. Anecdotally I’ve had people tell me it was infection after infection and others who only ever used oil. Similar to silicone, tough to clean up.
Favorite Brand: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ve never had personal experience with them and I don’t know which way to steer you, sorry. Messing with condoms mean that this lube has struggled commercially.
More Below, just don’t want this getting too long. (Also in case I need to add to this it’ll keep current version circulating if this blows up.)
Notable mentions for lube:
Spermicidal lube: Truly terrible for you. It causes micro tears and irritation which open you up to more disease and infections, besides which it tastes repulsive and is not a very effective preventative. Just don’t.
Flavored lube: I really don’t recommend this? Good lube doesn’t taste like anything, I don’t see that this needs to exist. Vaginas do not like anything sugary in them, which all flavored lubes are by nature. For health reasons it’s extremely Inadvisable to eat out butts without protection. If you must use flavored lube on a vagina haver try to focus it on the clit and not internally.
Condoms:
Condoms come pre-lubricated but did you know: Most condom tearing is the result of insufficient lube inside the condom? For safer sex put a few extra drops of lube inside the condom to increase sensation and decrease risk of tearing
Don’t store them in your wallet. Your body heat will break down the condom much quicker than storing in a drawer. If you’re going to carry one grab it fresh for a date.
Condoms stretch but they need to be tight at the base. Tight however doesn’t meet cutting off circulation. That’s a cock ring. If you need to wear condoms I recommend trying a few singles to see what brand feels the best for your body.
There are lambskin condoms but I don’t recommend them at all. They cannot be tested for tears, they still transmit STIs and they feel like wax paper. Polyisoprene is better in virtually every way for those with allergies.
Most people suffer from low grade latex allergies making a lot of condoms unpleasant. Latex was the first material able to be tested for structural integrity (they run a small electrical charge through it to test for breakages, neat right?). However! A new material hit the market called polyisoprene. It passes all the same safety regulations as latex while being hypoallergenic and contains much lower odor which brings me to…
Favorite Brand: Skyns. These condoms are truly excellent, smell and taste of nothing, and are just as safe as latex! The best. Really.
Anal:
Do not just stick a dick in a butt. Anal is about patience and many people have an awful first time. I cannot count the number of men who came in to ask, “How do I convince my girlfriend to do anal?” No. Start small, little plugs or fingers, and work your way up. Make sure things are relaxed and very very very like so very lubricated.
Do not. Ever. Numb your ass. Many products try to sell you on numbing your butt for anal. This is how emergency room trips happen. You need to listen to your butt, numbing it is how tearing happens.
Don’t rip out anal beads. I feel like it should be clear why ripping anything out of your body like you’re trying to start a chainsaw is a mistake but it bears repeating.
Butts. Will. Consume. Do not ever insert anything into your ass that doesn’t have a flared base. A flared base should have a perpendicular width of two inches to be safe. Don’t end up an ER horror story.
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tulipsforvin · 3 days
Note
if you dont mind me requesting another... may i request where the s/o reader is a noble with a really kind heart, like she owns a bakery and she loves to give pastries or breads to the peasants for free, and another noble didn't like it and burn the bakery down? how would the brothers react? you can do it with any of the moriarty brothers! sorry if its too detailed :]
NOBLE F!READER'S BAKERY BURNS DOWN ✦
🌷: reactions featuring the moriarty brothers
🌷: why have only 1 when you can have all 3? this is so unnecessary but i thought i'd spoil you (all) a bit. p.s you're fine, don't worry :)
⚠️: CW! slight desc of gore in william's part, skip if uncomfortable.
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WILLIAM J. MORIARTY ‧₊˚✩彡
— it was the kindness you had that had him first crawling to you. being a noble you could have done many things; plan extravagant balls and tea parties, spend money on all sorts of items. but instead you opened a bakery, giving away baked goods for free. he had become distressingly attracted to you.
william's red glaring and gleaming eyes could be seen from miles away. he thought he'd drop by your workplace during his lunch break from university. he thought he'd enjoy a small meal and a small conversation with you, but instead he had to watch from feet apart as final, dying embers fell to the ground. the bakery that you and he loved was gone.
“will—” you sobbed, practically falling apart in your lover's arms. you had worked incredibly hard for this, only for all your blood, sweat and tears to be turned to ashes at the mere tantrum of an angered man.
“oh, my love.” william cooed sympathetically. his fingers tightened around you. he was quiet, but his narrowed eyes and tight jaw was enough to indicate what was about to happen in the near future.
over the next few days, which had not really took that long at all—he was able to track down the noble who had dared ruined your efforts and made you cry.
a man as corrupt as the noble who had burned down your bakery was more than enough to irk him. making you cry was another contributing factor to tip him off. just as the man unable to tolerate the warmth of kindness that you provided, william set all of his means of income ablaze. and just as blind he was to dismiss the happiness that appeared on the common people's faces, he made sure to gouge out the man's eyes so that he could see nothing at all.
and perhaps he might have gone a little overboard with his ways in his wrath—but he reasoned that if it were the divine themselves who brought forth tears from your eyes, not even the depths of damnation could hold him back from extracting retribution on your behalf. nobody could, would or should harm you.
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ALBERT J. MORIARTY ‧₊˚✩彡
— during every visit of his to the orphanages he would find you already there, distributing all kinds of pastries and bread to the little kids. he found your kindness and charitable personality extremely charming. he had fallen in love with you.
fast forward to a few months and he had already begun wooing you. imagine his anger as he watched the happy-go-lucky and overall wonderful person he'd fallen deeply in love with lose their smile once their bakery had been burned at the hands of a dirty noble.
albert wouldn't just stand by. he was subtle—wore a charming smile but used his expert tongue to slowly chip away at the respect others had of the noble. it was backhanded compliments at first, then small insults that he brushed off as a joke, and then full on accusations as public opinion of him began to dive low at an alarmingly fast rate.
by the time he was done the noble was stripped from all respect and sympathy, forced to live an isolated life from others and unable to show face to anybody ever again.
of course he wouldn't stop at just that, though. he holds out his hand at you, warm and enveloping fingers wrapping around you as he pulls you up from your sadness. (and he always will). “how about i chip in enough funds to help you rebuild your bakery?”
“no, you already do enough for me anyway.” it would be extremely expensive. you possibly couldn't ask him to do this, but he seemed to have other plans.
albert smiles, voice teasing but comforting all the same. “then, how about this; i pay for all the repairs and you let me eat for free whenever in the future?”
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LOUIS J. MORIARTY ‧₊˚✩彡
— it was a secret but sometimes louis went out of his way to see you. even if the sun had already begun to set he would walk an extra mile to buy grocery from a grocery shop that was situated right besides your bakery. on several occasions he would watch you, in all your kindness, feed the mouths that came to you and it honestly warmed his heart to no degree.
with a few pushes from his brothers he had finally began dating you. he loved you dearly and everybody knew he became violently devoted when he loved.
now if we push aside the obvious assassination attempts on that "imbecile of a man" (his words, not mine) by louis and his colleagues trying to hold him back, he's actually quite tame. again, only if we push aside the homicidal factors like the anonymous death threats and the bloody knives sent to the noble.
with a little help from his brothers, you're back on your own feet again (louis sacrificed the noble's legs in exchange). and louis even drops by every now and then to help you with baking and other works!
“do you need help with that?” he looks at you from behind your shoulder, watching you do your work.
“nope, i'm fine.” you smile up at him but he still grabs the batter from you and does it in your stead.
“how about you go sit down and enjoy a glass of cold juice or something similar of the sort?” he says calmly, already putting on an extra apron.
and in the end, you oblige as louis guides you out the room. because at the end of the day, not everybody can make lemon tarts as good as he does anyway.
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satoruuswife · 3 days
Text
𝑶𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕
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Pairings: gojo x suguru's sister fem!reader
Cw: fluff ,angst?(Idk if it can be considered angst,the ending)
~ requested, i really liked writing this but i was on a time crunch so im sorry its short, it my first time posting something i wrote so im sorry if its bad <3
-synopsis: gojo satoru was your brother's bestfriend, he was good looking ,witty and flirty for the most part,you were both attracted to each other and suguru knew nothing about it, today he was coming over for a barbeque night ,lets see what the future holds for you<3
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The evening breeze gently swayed the leaves as Satoru made his way to his best friend Suguru's house. It was time for their monthly barbeque, a cherished tradition that Satoru eagerly anticipated. As he reached the familiar front door, he could hear the sound of laughter and music coming from the backyard.
When Satoru stepped into the yard, he was greeted by the lively scene of Suguru's family and friends gathered around a fire pit. Suguru was tending to the grill, his face lighting up with a welcoming smile when he saw Satoru. As Satoru looked around, his gaze settled on Y/N, Suguru's sister, who was busy setting up snacks on a nearby table.
Y/N's hair was styled in a loose bun, and she wore a comfortable yet stylish sweater. Satoru couldn't help but notice how at ease she seemed, moving gracefully as she arranged the snacks with her delicate hands.
“no Satoru, she is off limits”, he thought to himself as he sat down in Suguru’s family circle and began greeting everyone. Throughout the evening, he caught himself subconsciously glancing at her and mentally cursed himself for doing so, that is until towards the end of the night, as the party began to get in full swing, he caught y/n sneaking glances at him and felt butterflies as both of them hurriedly looked away after getting caught by the other.
Later that evening, Satoru found himself at Y/N's bedroom door after receiving a message from her asking him to come up. He took a moment to steady himself, wondering what she might want to talk about. He knocked gently on the door.
"Come in," Y/N's voice called out, her tone inviting. with a smirk, Satoru turned the doorknob and entered the room, closing the door behind him.
As he stepped inside, he took in the cozy ambience of Y/N's room. Soft lighting bathed the space, and a hint of her favourite floral scent lingered in the air. His gaze found Y/N standing in front of a mirror, adjusting her clothes. She seemed relaxed, yet there was an air of anticipation about her.
"You called?" Satoru asked, his voice soft as he approached her. Y/N turned to face him, her eyes locking onto his with a hint of a smile playing on her lips.
"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about something," she replied, gesturing for him to sit down. Satoru took a seat on the edge of her bed, his curiosity piqued by her confusing expression.
Y/N turned back to the mirror for a moment, making a final adjustment to her attire before turning fully toward Satoru. "Thanks for coming up. It's been nice hanging out tonight, but there's something I wanted to discuss with you, alone," she began, her voice sincere.
Satoru gulps and nods, his smirk fading, ushering her to continue as the room fills with deafening silence, and his gaze locked onto her back, “I've been meaning to tell you this for a while now” she says as she turns around to face him, making eye contact with his delicate blues, Satoru feels himself grow a little blush at the eye contact but doesn't break it, “continue” he says,
walking closer y/n looks at him with a look of determination in her eyes and a smirk, standing up, Satoru looks down at her small frame approaching him and feels his heart racing.
standing in front of him, Y/N met his gaze, her eyes reflecting a mix of curiosity and anticipation. Satoru couldn't help but admire the way she carried herself with elegance He took a small step closer, closing the distance between them.
Bending down slightly, Satoru leaned in close to Y/N, his lips brushing against her ear as he whispered, "You know, you have a way of making my heart race." His voice was low and smooth, carrying a hint of playful teasing.
Y/N's breath caught at his words, a slight smile playing on her lips. The proximity of his voice sent a shiver down her spine, and she could feel her cheeks warm at his unexpected admission.
Taking the moment into her own hands, Y/N reached up and placed her hand gently on Satoru's cheek. She tilted her head slightly, her eyes locked with his, and then she closed the gap between them, her lips meeting his in a soft, tender kiss.
The touch of Y/N's lips sent a surge of warmth through Satoru. He responded eagerly, his hands finding their way to her waist as he leaned into the kiss. It was a sweet, lingering moment, filled with a sense of mutual exploration and a growing connection between them.
Y/N's kiss was both gentle and purposeful, conveying the depth of her feelings and the anticipation of what this moment could mean for their relationship. Satoru's heart raced, and he couldn't help but lose himself in the sensation of the kiss, savouring the taste of her lips and the warmth of her touch.
As they finally parted, their foreheads rested gently against each other, both of them catching their breath. Y/N's eyes sparkled with a newfound closeness, while Satoru's smile spoke of a moment he wouldn't soon forget. The kiss had marked the beginning of something new, and both of them knew it.
The kiss had been a tender moment of connection, leaving both Satoru and Y/N breathless. But as they pulled apart, Satoru's expression suddenly changed. His eyes widened slightly, and his face dropped, a hint of panic creeping into his features.
"What if Suguru finds out about this?" he asked, his voice laced with worry. Satoru stepped away from Y/N, creating a distance between them as he abruptly turned and sat down on her bed. He buried his head in his hands, overwhelmed by the thought of how his best friend might react.
Y/N's heart sank at the sight of Satoru's distress. She hadn't considered the impact their kiss might have on his relationship with Suguru, but seeing his reaction, she realized it weighed heavily on him. With a gentle but determined expression, Y/N stepped closer to Satoru and knelt in front of him.
"Y/N, we can't do this," Satoru said, his voice filled with uncertainty and regret. He lifted his head slightly, and she could see the inner conflict in his eyes.
Y/N reached out and placed her fingers under Satoru's chin, tilting his face up to meet her gaze. Her touch was tender, a reassuring gesture meant to calm his fears. " Satoru," she said softly, "He won't find out if we don't tell him. It will be our little secret."
Part 2?😭?
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xeas · 2 days
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Can you please do a Norton and fool's gold with a reader where the reader has cinnamoroll personality (cinnamoroll is from sanrio)
MIND OVER MATTER IS MAGIC!
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🍍 IN WHICH: drabbles (seperately) of Norton Campbell and Fool's Gold with a reader who is like cinnamoroll from sanrio (basically, shy yet sweet who will also help out their friends whenever they can)
🥥 NOTE FROM XEA!: thank you so much for your request! i love writing for norton but im wary my fools gold may ooc...haha...
🫧CONTENT WARNINGS: pre-established relationship, Norton may appear overprotective, mc may appear to be 'pure and innocent' in a fashion that may be perceived as corny to some readers. reader is referred to as "doll" in Norton's section, "babyface" in Fools Gold's. Seer is mentioned and Grave keeper is implied in Fools Gold section. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!
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NORTON CAMPBELL; The Prospector
NORTON swears up and down he's done nothing worthy of him deserving you.
The way your thumb grazes his knuckles in a comforting manner--whether to soothe your own nerves or his is unsure-- but the expression of innocence coated on your face both makes his heart sink to his stomach and gives him butterflies.
You have the eyes of someone who has gazed at few possible traumatic scenarios and the skin of one who not been lashed by the harsh truths of the world. He squishes down his feeling of envy when he feels he's going too far down the rabbit hole of his thoughts.
But now, as he bandages up your wound from the cold Night Watch, he can't help but realize how that weighs you down. It wasn't supposed to be you with the gash in your thigh it was supposed to be the teammate you wasted no time saving. You took a hit for them, and for what? So they could have a futile 5 seconds to run as fast as they could only for the harsh winter wind to yank them back to the hunter? You we're such a fool, having so much faith in these people.
But that's what led you two to become such a power couple. You gave him a chance.
"Norton-"
"Hush up, doll." And you do just that.
He looks angry and you feel nervous because of it.
"I'm sorry for getting injured." You mumble quietly. You don't expect a 'Its fine' or a 'Its not your fault' because this was a rookie mistake and you by no means are a rookie.
He remains silent, finishing up dressing your wound. His gloved hands go to hold your thighs as you sit in some corner of burned down building in the Arms Factory.
"Don't do that again." He states. Its not up for debate and you silently nod, moving to give his forehead a kiss as you steady yourself to get up and work on getting out of here.
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NORTON CAMPBELL; Fools Gold (Hunter Identity)
"Hm, shame. Really."
Fools Gold let out a teasing laugh as he shoved you into a chair. He leaned on the wall behind it as you glared up at him. Fools gold clicked his tongue (does he even have one??) and fake pouted, most likely mocking you.
"D'aw, don't look at me like that, Babyface. You wouldn't be like this if you didn't sacrifice yourself for that silly little seer."
At least he was brutally honest.
Your muscles are screaming at you and you can feel them throbbing after you spent the last 2 minutes running and jumping and rolling to get away from him.
He traces your jawline with his pickaxe, you can feel your face heat up as Fools Gold lets out a wheezing chuckle. "All bark huh?"
You try to stutter out a response not until you see the ground beside you break. This was going to take a while.
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୨🐙୧ ‧ 𝙃𝘼𝙑𝙀 𝘼𝙉 𝘼𝙈𝘼𝙕𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝘿𝘼𝙔! ⋆ ˚。
🌺 𝙓𝙊𝙓𝙊,
XEA!
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euphorianz · 2 days
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Hi! Can you do a anthony bridgerton being obsessed with a reader who doesnt want anything to do with him and rejects him all the time?
Thank u!
(in read your colin one, he is not really my man but your writing is just marvelous! If you decide to do this im so excited to read it!! If you dont its ok, no pressure!)
❥Anthony Bridgerton as a obsessed partner
pairing_ Anthony x reader
Possible triggers_ yandere/dark content, forced affection, mentions of yelling, toxic relationships, Anthony being a total jerk, unwilling reader
a/n_ hiii, thanks so much for your interest! I hope this fic is good and is exactly what you wanted <3 like I said in my last post feedback is welcome and requests!
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-unlike his brother Colin, he is fully aware of what he’s doing and he doesn’t care. He has an “eye on the prize” mentality and has no intention of straying from his goal (you).In a way this is all a game to him, and he has no plans of losing.
-Anthony is controlling/ intense. He desires nothing more for you to be his, and only his. He is not afraid to fight when it comes to you, and will gladly knock a man out for even looking at you. Intimidation tactics are common. Expect to see Anthony randomly showing up at your home or anywhere else you might be. Wether you like him or not he wants everyone to believe the two of you are together. He’s the first one to come up to you at a ball and he makes sure he’s the only one. He doesn’t care if you say no. On top of being controlling he can also be jealous, so expect to be pressed with questions like, “who were you with?!” “What is his name?!” “Do you honestly think he can provide better than me?”
-he has no problem taking full advantage as his role as “viscount” when it comes to you (and your family). He’ll use his influence to gain your family’s favor and your hand. Although meeting through friendship is possible, your mostly likely to catch his eye at a ball than anything. Like his brother the marriage will be swift. Everyone in the ton will be invited to witness your union wether you like it or not. He knows that you don’t hold the same affection for him, so he hopes the tons presence will keep you in check.
-once the two of you are married he doesn’t tolerate any kind of outburst, especially near his family. He cares deeply about them, and the thought of you speaking ill of him or your relationship fills him with rage. So he’ll make a point to be by your side until he can fully trust you. Family participation is a must, especially when it comes to family games. He wants you by his side and happy, but if you can’t be he’s willing to force it.
-if you manage to tell your in-laws about Anthony’s extreme behavior or beg them to help you get out of the marriage, there’s little chance you’ll get the help that you want. Anthony will be quick to take hold of the situation and reassure them that there’s nothing wrong then punish you accordingly. Like his brother he doesn’t like to see you in pain, but he’s not afraid to inflict it.
-like his brother he wants a lot of kids and he expects you to feel the same. If you don’t he’ll just say, “you don’t actually feel that way my love. You’ll come around eventually.” Again family is important to him, so you will eventually have children wether you like it or not.
-Anthony at times can have a short temper, especially when you push him away. He’ll yell and scream demanding “why you don’t love him”. After his outburst and if your upset he’ll be quick to comfort you and apologize, “I’m sorry.. I never mean to upset you.” He can have his tender moments.
-like the rest of his family divorce is not an option and bringing it up will only lead to more problems for you. Same goes for attempting to leave him. He doesn’t know what to do with himself or you at that point, and his desperation will only lead to fueling his obsession with you.
-he’s your husband and you’re his wife. It doesn’t matter how much you fight him or deny his affection that fact will remain. “Wether you acknowledge it or not, your are only for my eyes to witness. So there’s no use in fighting what’s already been vowed.”
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aeomianamoure · 21 hours
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hii!! i absolutely loveee your fanfics sm ૮ ․ ․ ྀིა
i was wondering if you could maybe write something abt emo best friend txt (OT5) being jealous over your other guy friends? and you can also add your own plot to it ^^
(hope this request isn’t confusing… 𖦹 ´ ᯅ ` 𖦹 )
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— emo jealous bestfriend txt!
warnings <3: !mean txt (sorry.. i swear they mean well!) , crybaby reader! (im sorry again cry baby reader is always so cute to me..) , jealous n possessive txt! , loser reader but it’s okay because she’s pretty and sweet!
a/n <3: hai !! the emoticons you use r sooo cute like seriously :D nnn it’s not confusing don’t worry!! i hope u like this fic too tysm for the support ily smsmsm :3
!emo jealous bestfriend txt who’d stare down at you talking to one of your guy friends with their pierced tongue poking at the inside of the cheek jealously being the only emotion they knew at the moment; “what did he want? why was he talking to you?” he charged at you gripping onto your arm stopping you from walking away from him
you’d whimper quietly secretly liking his aggressive behavior; “chad just wanted to hangout this weekend at my place he said there’s this new video game he wants to try with m-me” you shudder looking up at the angry emo boy in front of you
“bullshit i can tell by how he was eye fucking you, he’s definitely only interested in fucking you” your bestfriend bluntly splats with venom on his tongue not really paying attention to how mean that sounded to you
“you really think that? you think no one would ever be interested beyond just fucking me?” you felt your voice tremble as you sniffle back tears
your bestfriends eyes soften as panic rushes through their veins, “what no don’t cry im just saying chad is just using you-“ “so you think i’m all used up too!?” you were struggling to let out a sentence as you cried harder only making the emo boy panic more
“baby please open the door i promise i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings like that i just-“ your bestfriend pounds at your door begging for you to open up as you sob out a weak ‘no! go away you’re so mean to me!’
but you being you; you never liked making your bestfriend chase after you or dwell on his mistakes so you let him in your room after his countless apologies of course
“do i really have to cancel on chad? i swear its just gonna be a friend date nothing more” you’d frown as your cries finally died down but only because your bestfriend agreed to play with your hair as you laid on their lap
your bestfriend rolled his eyes with a sigh trying to snatch your phone away from your hands as your eyes widen at the sudden movement; “w-what are you doing?” you didn’t let your phone go
this angered your bestfriend more; causing him to grip on your wrists as an attempt to get your phone from you. “im gonna tell chad to fuck off since you’re too much of a pussy to say no to somebody” he dryly laugh at you “if you care about your wrists not bruising i suggest you let go” the emo boy warns you gripping onto you tighter
you let out a yelp in pain as you quickly let go; hovering on his broad shoulder watching him text chad a nasty text message reading ‘next time you interact with y/n your family is going to wake up to your skull and bones as a wreath decoration hanging from your front door’ and you felt goosebumps at that threat
“you’re not gonna do that to my family one day right?” you were worried slowly backing away from your bestfriend. “not unless you’re a good girl for me and stay away from all of your guy friends but you can do that right?” he pulled you closer grinning at your scared state
“all my guy friends?” you’d ask
“every single one of them” your bestfriend assured you and you gulped
a/n <3: i thought of jealous girl by lana del rey woah
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“I went to the gym, so I will be able to hold you up even longer” 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
“I went to the gym, so I will be able to hold you up even longer” additional tags: (wrongly) assumed infidelity, miscommunication that gets resolved, this must be an au bc mickey would obv never interrupt his own sleep to leave the apartment
Mickey steps carefully into their apartment, taking great care to shut the door without being too loud. He closes it with barely a click. But nothing can prepare him for what happens next.
When Mickey turns, it’s like he’s stepped right into a 90s romantic drama, the single floor lamp clicking on to shine in a perfect spotlight, revealing where his husband is very much awake, and very much waiting for his return.
He’s sitting on the couch. Tucked up in his bathrobe and the most unimpressed frown.
“Fuck.”
“Who is he?”
Mickey glances from left to right. Behind himself. Looks at Ian again, his heart still pounding in his chest from the startle. “Who’s who?”
“Don’t gimme that.” And now Ian’s standing up, gathering his robe around himself as he prepares to fire off The Chin. “You disappear every night - yes, I noticed,” he states before Mickey can interrupt. “Bring a bag with you… Come home sweaty… I know you think you’re sneaky, but you’re fucking bad at hiding this, Mickey.”
It takes a second for everything to sink in. For the endorphins from the last couple hours to start pumping upward into his brain this time. 
And… Damn.
Ian caught him.
To be perfectly honest, Mickey thought he was getting away with this shit - was being real cagey and everything too - even getting a shower in before sliding back into bed with him.
“Two hours. That enough to meet up with him and do what you gotta do?”
Meet up with who? Yeah right. “You think I can get somebody out at this hour?” Mickey asks, his confusion starting to put him on edge. “Been doing this shit all on my own. Well-... I mean ‘cept for the other handful of guys who show up sometimes…”
And the way Ian’s eyebrows rise is almost as startling as how he stops in his tracks, repeating the words back to him with dragged out intensity. “‘Handful of guys’...?”
It’s got Mickey slugging his bag off his shoulder, the dramatics of it all really killing his high. “Christ, Ian. What’re you bein’ so bitchy for-”
“What am I being bitchy for.” There he goes again, repeating shit. Like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Mickey are you fucking serious?”
“Yeah - what - I was doin’ this shit for you, anyway. Thought you’d at least be excited about it.”
Oh. Fuck. Ian does not like that. “Excited?” Off comes the robe, in a flurry of angry movements. He’s running hot, and not in a good way. “Why the fuck would I be excited about my husband cheating on me!”
And it’s-...
He’s-...
Wait a second.
“What?”
“You thought you could go out every night and meet up with a ‘handful of guys’ and I’d be jumping for joy?” He sure is using air quotes like he’s having a good time with it, but no no no-
“What the-...” Mickey shakes his head, trying to clear the air because holy fuck, “I ain’t fuckin’ cheating on you, Ian - the hell?”
“You just said-” 
“Christ, you think I’m out bangin’ other dudes?”
“Wuh-...! You-...!”
Mickey rubs a hand over his mouth, everything suddenly making a whole lot of sense. The dramatics. The theater of it all. Ian was catching him coming home from the act, but ‘the act’ ended up being two very different things in their respective heads.
“Holy shit,” Mickey breathes out, going for his bag so he can put that thought immediately out of Ian’s head. “Look.”
He tugs the zipper open. Starts dumping out its contents on the floor right between them - his gym shoes - his old-ass iPod - a workout shirt - socks that stink so bad that they’re all he really needed to avoid all this. One whiff would’ve immediately made things clear.
But it’s enough now. Ian is slowly putting all the pieces together, the worry in his brow evening out and his chin returning to normal pointedness. Finally.
“You…” you says, hope returning. “You’ve been…going to the gym…?”
Mickey gestures to the pile of clothes in between them, his tone evening into something honest. “Yeah, man. Thought you wouldn’t notice once you knocked out…”
Ian eyes over everything one more time. Then slowly, his lips pull into a small pout, those eyes flicking away. “I notice every time you’re not in bed.” ‘Bitch.’ He wants to add it so bad. Mickey can practically see it trying to break through.
But he doesn’t. And there’s something so sheepish and honest and vulnerable about it, that Mickey can’t help but smile, peace returning as he stuffs his clothes and shoes back into his bag. “Fuck would I ever cheat on you for, ya dummy?”
A beat passes. Thoughts lingering. “I dunno… I just thought-...” 
“Well stop.” It sure makes a lot of sense, though. Now that he sees it through that lens. Fuck, he’d probably think the same thing if their roles were switched. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to getchya all riled up…”
“S’okay…” Ian watches as Mickey gets himself sorted. Still has a lot of questions trying to get out - he can tell. And it starts with this one. “What do you mean you were doing this for me?”
It’s the correct one - right away. And Mickey’s glad he asked, actually. Because if he must know…
The floorboards creak beneath his shoes as he steps up into Ian’s space, his muscles warmed up and ready enough to finally show off his skills. 
And when he does it - when he wrangles his giant-ass husband in and hauls him up until he's got those thick thighs straddling his waist, Ian’s startle and wide eyes say it all as Mickey slots him up against the wall - all two hundred pounds - keeping him held up in his arms.
“Been goin’ to the gym so I can lift ya,” he preens, impressed with his own strength.
Because he’s been working for this moment. For the look of sheer shock in Ian’s eyes from the rush of it - how it simmers into delight and pride and something much, much steamier the longer he holds him up.
And damn, that little breathy, impressed laugh that huffs out between them. “Fuck, Mick…”
Oh yeah. This is what all that 2am weightlifting has been for.
“You like that, huh?” Mickey grins, the atmosphere shifting familiar and fun - heavy in a good way. “This do it for ya?”
From his arms, Ian nods, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he takes a second to eat Mickey up with his eyes, those big arms wrapping around the back of his neck. 
He probably thought he was doing a decent job at hiding how hot he gets with this - when Mickey can make him feel small and moveable. 
They’re both absolute dogshit at keeping secrets, it turns out.
[ send me a smutty one-liner ]
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sillyfanatic · 1 day
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It’s my birthday. Have a pirate sonadow blurb 🫡
-
He doesn’t think there’s another feeling like it – the sun warming your face, the salty air carried around by a soft breeze – it’s almost like heaven.
Shadow relishes in the feeling of the sunlight on his fur, a warmth unlike any other; it had always felt as though it was an embrace from the sky itself.
The wind picked up as they sailed through the day, their destination unknown. The ship was fully stocked, and she had been well maintained too. The crew was happy, they’d gotten to stretch their legs on the land. It had been an opportunity for some to be alone, the others choosing to socialize with anyone that lived outside of the boat.
There was no place to go, no one awaiting their arrival. It was a moment in-between, one that was sure to leave as fast as it had come.
Sighing, Shadow signaled another crew member to take the wheel, allowing him to store himself away in his cabin.
He was glad to have a moment of rest, but his years of surviving off scraps had left his nervous system a wreck: he was unable to “relax” as it were, always needing to do something useful with his time.
As he stepped into his cabin, he tried to shake the feeling that crept bellow his stomach.
He eyed the bed.
You should lay down.
And yet his desk called to him;
You should make yourself useful. Do not waste your time, you know better than to do something foolish like that.
Huffing, the hedgehog made his way to his rather empty working surface. It wouldn’t stay like this for very long – there was always work to do, something to check off the never-ending list.
And so he started.
On everything and anything, Shadow kept himself busy. He charted courses, logged in progress, assured everything was up-to-date and stocked to its maximum capacity.
He read and wrote, turned away from the sun and the salty air, he found ways to make himself busy. To make use of his time.
He did so until there was a knock at the door. “Come in.” He grunted, that little voice in his head trying to tell him to ignore the knock, the distraction.
Behind the wooden door appeared a familiar shade of blue – trouble in the form of a hedgehog.
“Sonic.” He greeted, rather passively, as he drew up some old paperwork he’d meant to organize many moons ago.
“Captain.” The other said in return, nodding his head with a little smile. Said captain glanced at his crewmate, a little dip in his brow – curiosity.
“Out with it.” He said, though it wasn’t harsh. He knew Sonic well enough to know that he’d not come here for nothing, and the longer he stayed, the less work Shadow would get done.
“Can I ask you something?”
“I suppose.”
Taking a few steps forward, the blue hedgehog stood at the front of his captain’s desk, casting a shadow onto his paperwork. “Why’re you in here?” He tilted his head as he spoke.
“Working.” Was the simple answer, an incomplete one.
“I see that, but-“ He took a breath, pouting for a second as he thought. “Forgive my rudeness here…” Another little pause, as if he was hesitant to continue. Still, ever the risk-taker, he proceeded: “There isn’t really any work to do. You shouldn’t be working.”
“Pardon?” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“Well, you’ve been working hard for weeks now, and… you have to admit it, there’s nothing to do.”
“Tcht.” He had to force himself to not roll his eyes at the other. “There’s always something to do.”
“I mean, if you think that way, yeah, there’s always something to do.” He shrugged his shoulders, soft smile lining his lips. “But thinking that way’ll kill ya.”
“Oh, don’t be-“
But before he could give into his annoyance, the dark hedgehog heard his words turn to muffling as a hand came down to stop his speech.
“Shadow.” The other spoke, eyes locking with his. A crew member shouldn’t be so familiar with their captain. And a captain should never allow it, should never encourage it. And yet, Shadow seemed to do both those things. “It’s a beautiful day, there is nothing to do. You should enjoy it.” The hand was removed, allowing him to respond.
He opened his mouth to… refuse? To yell at Sonic to leave? To ask him how he dared speak to his captain in this way?
To accept?
The choice was made for him – before he knew what to do, he’d been dragged onto the deck, gloved hands linked to strong blue arms tugging him across the ship.
It wasn’t long before they were still, watching the ocean from behind the strong wooden railing of their ship.
His every instinct told him to leave.
But the life in Sonic’s eyes begged him to stay.
How could he ever refuse such a thing?
As they took in the salty air, they filled the quietness of the day with banter, their laughter lost to the horizon.
And Shadow thought this was better than the sea breeze and the sun - Sonic was better than the sea breeze and the sun. He was as rowdy and free as the ocean, as strong and reliable as the sails that pushed them through it. And as the captain gazed upon his crew mate he knew that this was no ordinary friendship, that this was a gem in an empty and vast sea, one that only came around once in a lifetime.
He’s be a fool not to seize the opportunity.
-
A/N
Yoooooo crimson part two ??!!;!;;!;! After almost 2 years ,??:?!. I haven’t named this but I’ll post it on ao3 :3 hope y’all enjoy I am RUSTY !
<- previous part
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Note
Lmao Frank would absolutely keep a list of everything they tried to do to fix this situation. He has his work cut out for him with poor wally as well. Does he know what happened to Sally?
Frank does know what happened to Sally! ofc he caught his first glimpse of her when he sorta woke up, then after he Actually woke up, Wally made sure to sit him down and be like "she will kill you if you go near her <3"
still, Frank didn't really believe Wally. so Wally showed him proof:
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and Frank quickly changed his tune.
and honestly, it's more like Wally has his work cut out for him with Frank lmao. cause by the time Frank fully wakes, Wally's pretty much given up. and rightfully so, there's... not really anything he can do except protect his sleeping friends.
so Frank's initial attempts to make a plan kinda went like:
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Wally is very earnest about saying "that's nice". it is nice. it's refreshing to have someone around that still believes something can be done, however futile that hope is. Frank will catch on eventually.
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doctorweebmd · 23 days
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coming out of my baldurs gate 3 delirium (aka i am working a night shift and can't physically play it. at work.) to say that horikoshi. horikoshi when i GET YOU. you are NOT leaving izuku with no quirk and no arms. i am in your walls
#bnha spoilers#also. more evidence that horikoshi read zero-sum game#like come on the twins thing the izuku losing his quirk thing the losing his arm thing the shiggy getting decay from afo thing#TELL ME THE TRUTH HORIKOSHI. DID YOU READ MY FANFIC.#i'm joking of course. he's just done a really good job of foreshadowing through the series. its a marker of an amazing author#and i know that izuku probably won't lose both his arms and his quirk. i fully expect it to be a happy ending in some way shape or form#this is a sixteen year old boy who sacrificed EVERYTHING. more than he ever had to give#and he had less than a year. LESS THAN A YEAR.#sorry i'm already crying thinking about the scene of him holding shigaraki's hand even though it will decay him........#izuku who knows better than ANYONE what shigaraki's power can do.... reaching out to him. caring more about others than about himself.#he's just. he's so good. he's SO GOOD. he deserves the world#tbh i feel like eri HAS to be involved at this point. she's the deus ex machina in all this#that or overhaul#both of their abilities can at least physically restructure izuku's body#it would actually be a very interesting redemption point for overhaul.......#i mean WHY ELSE RESCUE HIM. and why give him THE SAME FUCKING INJURY#what a powerful thing it would be to have eri give overhaul his arms back#and overhaul learning about goodness and forgiveness from this girl he's done nothing but abuse and torture#and saves izuku........#its about ATONEMENT. its about GROWTH. its about IT NEVER BEING TOO LATE.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE YOU MY HERO ACADEMIA#... ok. i'm normal. its fine.#on another note#i loved the ending to my first bg3 run which i think i finished Tuesday/Wednesday. i cried.#IMMEDIATELY started a durge run where i'm playing a male human bard instead of the female half-wood elf ranger#i was like 'haha. i'll make a character based on hisoka from hxh! i'm gonna be SOOOO evil! >:))#and guess who still isn't good at being big evil. ME. at worst i'm probably chaotic neutral.#its wild i'm already finding SO MANY new scenes i missed on the first playthrough even though i'm making a lot of the same choices#so it still feels super fun and fresh. more so now because i kind of know the characters and the mechanics better#my current playthrough i'm with lae'zel shadowheart and asterion with no intention of switching out
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flippedorbit · 5 months
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do you want me to fucking go off on you? do you truly fucking want that mother?
#“oh you and your sister never listen to me and blah blah blah” we fucking do (or at the very least i do)#“you guys never help out” does me doing the litter and taking out the trash and on occasion hand washing the dishes mean#fucking nothing to you? does me sweeping the floor every once in a while because you chose to keep us in an area that is ALL SAND/DIRT ROAD#for whatever stupid ass reason also meaningless? does me doing my damn best to help out mean fucking nothing?#do you want me to kill my self. do you want to lose your eldest child to something YOU could have fucking prevented all because you can’t#stop being a bitch to him all the time? do you really fucking want that mom? because at this rate i am once again on the road to fucking#attempting it. i’m so god damn sick of how you treat me. the only time i can do anything i want is at night. i stay up super late playing#games with my friends because its the only time in the day when you aren’t bitching and whining for me to do something you don’t want to do#for the past several days i’ve been up until five in the damn morning just to do something that makes me happy.#you misgender me. you deadname me. you refuse to accept any aspect of my identity. you don’t treat me like a god damn person.#i have so many different ways i can consider attempting if i truly wanted to. the only thing keeping me alive is my friends. because they a#least show that they fucking care and actively want to do things with me. like group drawing or playing video games.#YOU on the other hand; mother; yell and get mad at me over the stupidest shit and never fucking apologize.#i cannot recall a singular time you’ve apologized for being a complete bitch to me over something so fucking unimportant.#and yet i’m expected to be completely fucking fine and happy all because you provide me with the bare fucking minimum.#”i clothe and feed and provide a place for you to live” THAT IS THE BARE FUCKING MINIMUM. sure you could argue over the fact i’m 18 and#should be out working somewhere. but you give me so few opportunities for going places and even considering getting a job or finally gettin#my driver’s license. plus i would rather fucking die than work any food service or customer service job. because i’d be going somewhere#where i’d mostly get talked down to or yelled and then come home and have the same shit done after working for hours and getting minimal#pay. i’d rather work on my own fucking terms with commissions than go into any job where i have to interact with others in public for any#reason. where i’d be treated just the same as at home. like someone who isn’t a person and doesn’t deserve anyone to be nice to them.#i constantly so desperately wish that maybe one day soon i’d find someone to be with romantically and that i could maybe live with them and#get out of this hell hole that i’m supposed to call home. to go somewhere and have my efforts appreciated. to go somewhere where i’d#actually fucking be loved. i shouldn’t have to wish so god damn hard for a better life all because my mother can’t fucking treat me like a#person with hopes and dreams and thoughts and feelings.#i’m ending this rant here before i get too angry and upset. see you all in maybe an hour.#suicide mention#ask to tag
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angle0fthegourd · 7 months
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Help, this mod keeps getting bigger and bigger! AHHHHHHH! Anyways, I think I'm going to write entirely different dialogue for each race the LDB can be, cause that's what makes sense to my brain right now, and I will suffer the consequences later.
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dirt-str1der · 2 years
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I dont care about majima x sagawa btw but i care a lot about their relationship regardless because i want them to have the most toxic dealings and skewed power dynamics with each other as possible and i them both to have increasingly warped perceptions of each other (worlds most incorrect uncle-nephew relationship)
#Listen to my problems#sagawas like majima chan i bought pudding for you since chewing is hard right now and majimas like (muffled) can you kill yourself . and#sagawa is like (laughs) keep up that tone and ill break your jaw again#like obviously sagawa isnt doing charity work putting majima back on his feet because majima has to pull his own weight too but over time#majima became less of an ‘investment’ and more like his hotheaded young apprentice / nephew who is really smart (sagawas very proud of him)#but also doesnt know anything good for himself because hes an idiot and sagawa needs to do everything for him sometimes or he’ll pull the#most ASININE stunts imaginable. like kid i do Good by you and you do the same for me as long as you keep your head down and run the grand.#he cannot fathom why majima wants to claw his way back into the tojo because sagawa Knows shimano and he Knows that shimano is bad news and#will definitely send majima into the jaws of death over and over and seriously what a WASTE of good talent !!! unfortunately majima is the#same type of stupid as his oath brother but it doesnt mean he wants to see the kid get himself killed (wise words from a man who got himself#killed) | and majima ... it was not difficult to start going crazy about sagawa at first sight because he just came out of a very violent#place where every touch meant more torture and pain then suddenly hes being put in the capable hands of a man whos like a fucking angel#sagawa feeds clothes and bathes him and majima cant help but act like being cared for is the worst thing thats ever happened to him theres#too much touching and hes completely dependent on sagawa who checks his weight daily and changes his bandages and cleans his leaky infected#eye and he wants nothing more than to be left alone but he cant do anything by himself and hes too devastated to be grateful. its gross !!#and whenever he inevitably breaks the hell down sagawa is always there to hold and comfort him and what the hell else can he do but seek#comfort in the only person that ‘cares’ about him when sagawa is so good at pretending ... is he pretending ? who gives a fuck anymore man#sagawas punishment and comfort all in one ... hes a means to an end .. hes majimas caretaker and his gaoler. the guy who knows everything#about him and the one who’ll use every last bit of it against him oh god wait#this is just isabelle and emma damnit damnit im gonna go read purromised neverland again
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