#and i literally cant stop telling them how awful it was

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(Oh, adding to my: reasons houston is the fucking worst—

I was given PEANUTBUTTER WHISKEY there

1) allergic to nuts

2) should be a crime?????

i didnt think to ask “what is this??” because PEANUTBUTTER WHISKEY is the last fucking thing i was thinking about and when i saw gold, assumed tequila— ya know like a normal person.

cue a Not Fun Time after.

anyway, houston sucks, the end.)

#everyone has been like HOW WAS TX #and i literally cant stop telling them how awful it was #Regret 2k23 #i couldve gone my whole life never going there #the work things were fine #the everything else things was NOT IT #everyone in houston walks around like they just woke up from a nap #like in a daze #no idea whats going on #but are so snooty about it #no sense of urgency #and apparently just drink peanutbutter fucking whiskey #jail #anyway #happy sunday

[hecksupremechips]

Feeling just every single kind of horrific now I’m literally living my nightmare and have no where to run anymore

#lost my home my escape from this place and now im forced back into this awful living situation in a horrible town #its taking a physical toll im dizzy my stomach hurts i cant sleep right im sweaty i cant breathe #its just not real like this just cant be real #i can hear them chewing through the walls and i want them to stop but i cant cover my ears cuz then im vulnerable #my curtains are gone everyone is watching me theres spies all over the town the all report to each other #nagging nagging nagging because my god im so incompetent i cant even make a phone call #ive literally procrastinated rescheduling a very important doctor appointment for 2 weeks now cuz i literally cannot remember to do it #if i run away itll be pointless cuz theyll just find me and bring me back here #i would do anything just to cry and sob cuz then id get to feel better but my body wont let me im like emotionally constipated #ive been for who knows how fucking long #my father tells me that i need to overcome my autism and that im just not trying hard enough and that i need to talk to jesus #i dont love anything here i cant be bothered to try #and the ‘support’ i get is just. a cheap way of forcing me in #im gonna explode im seriously so uncomfortable so fed up so terrified so nauseous #its not even a dream this time but maybe it is but maybe it isnt i dont know i just punch the wall but never bleed #i want to breathe but its not working

[waybrightgender]

google how to get someone to stop reading about crypto and using degenerate

#jesus christ. i tried to move them over to tumblr to get them off reddit but they just go back to the tumblr subreddit every time. #if i tell them to do something they do it but then they put a new and fascinating /neg spin on it #like i told them to follow more ppl on here and they followed about 50 ppl that seemingly never post and i told them to make their cute #little project a sideblog so they can rb stuff but they made it their main and cant rb anything now #i tell them to be vague about the details of homestuck so that their mom doesnt stop trusting me and they decide its a better idea to keep #calling it a cringey bad old webcomic that i really love because i have bad taste #i tell them to stop using degenarate because its a nazi dogwhistle but they decide thats just stupid i guess and keep using it #i think theyre gonna become a crypto bro they have like 5 books about it #they've been on reddit since they were like 10 i dont think i can get them out of there but they should at least go on better subreddits #instead of r/iam14andthisisdeep and r/tumblr and r/whitepeopletwitter and r/nonpoliticaltwitter and who knows what else #its especially the r/tumblr part that i dont get. because they literally have a tumblr account #if theres a specific user that you see making posts you like on the subreddit go follow them! scroll thru tags of things you like and follo #all the blogs! be annoying and put out a post asking for mutuals tagged with fandoms you like! #oh and they rlly like r/nosleep i wish i could get them to go on the creepypasta wiki instead because at least thatll give them some shared #references with the wider internet and ppl their age. their mom has literally no pop culture references whatsoever so im trying to help the #but its honestly really hard when they dont do what i tell them to do. jesus i sound awful dont i #real sasha waybright moment. “you are going to follow 100 more blogs and turn off algorithm stuff now. end of discussion.” #it's not like they have a community and friends on reddit they dont even have an account theyve been lurking for years #they dont even have the app they use the mobile website. ugh im being so bitchy rn ill just shut up #maybw if yall see that this is how i think then youll realize that im not exactly worth interacting with #sorry for spiraling on ya. im pmsing. #and i have a whole disorder about that so

[rotturn]

every day on this trip is worse

#i can not stand my sister at all i truly can't #she's been yelling and arguing for 10 minutes because she has her hair straightner but mum doesnt have a plug converter #and she keeps yelling ab how her fringe is fucked when it looks literally the same as it has this entire trip #and is yelling ab how its mums fault as if she couldn't have bought this shit herself before we left #i am just. so over this #any fun that would come from being on an international trip is immediately taken away by my mum and sister constantly getting angry #and either yelling or getting passive aggressive and making me feel horrible its just so tiring #bc i feel like such a fucking asshole for not enjoying an international trip that i will never get the opportunity for again #like this cost so much money and it feels awful to say i dont want it or that its not fun or whatever #but i am constantly dissociating and trying not to cry and ive had meltdowns and panic attacks almost every day but im not allowed to show #them bc my sister tells me to calm down and not be so dramatic and everything is a sensory nightmare #and i have a very specific diet at home and its not available outside of nz and there arent really any worthy substitutes and even if there #are i wont know bc i dont speak the languages so im just living on shitty little protien drinks and hot chocolate which makes me feel worse #and on top of it all im sick and i havent had any chance to rest bc my sister wont stop ab going places and doing thingd #and gets pissy if i dont want to #and its just so fucking difficult i knew that being stuck w them for 2 months would suck but its been 1 week and i cant do this anymore #i have no other option but i seriously don't know what to do i don't know how to handle this im at my limit #travelling is stressful and anxiety inducing and its hard enough doing it once on my own #let alone every 2 or 3 days w family that rushes and runs late and has 10000 bags that never fucking fit on the trains #and its always me left standing in the aisle blocking peoples path with nowhere to go bc my sisters giant suitcase wont fit anywhere #i hate this so much and its making me hate all the cities and countries we go to bc i dont get to experience the places i only get #to experience fucking breakdowns and im constantly drinking water bc im constantly dehydrated from either crying or panicked breathing #its a mess and i hate it and i want to go home I haven't felt comfortable or safe since i left home and i wont feel either until i go back #but that isnt until the last couple days of january so i just have to keep dealing with things getting worse by the day #negative cw #rant cw #ask to tag cw

[be-good-to-bugs]

itd be so cool if the shitty people in my life were not shitty and were actually slightly decent

#the bin #:/ i wanna stop feeling horrible abt shit with my sister but it makes me so angry and upset ALL the time #im so fucked up abt this. how could i not be. i guess. hhhhh. i dont know what to do. it sucks so much. #its so hard to deal with the aftermath of a deeply abusive relationship in general. and when you cant talk to anyone about it or tell #anyone who knows that person. and you have to continue to be nice or at least civil with them. probably forever. #that SUUUUCKS. she is so awful. shes always been awful. i want to heal from that experience but i feel like im still stuck #probably mostly because im literally physically stuck 1000 miles away from everyone else i know in a place where shes the only person i know #but even after that i think ill still feel so stuck. theres a lot of things she has that i really need to get from her before i do anything #that might make her mad at me. i want to delete our stupid chat full of uncomfortable shit vut thats gonna piss her off #she has a lot of pictures of me from when i was younger and those are pretty much the only pictures of me from then #i can barely even remember those years. id like to get those if i can. also i wanna see if i can convince her to delete all the weird videos #she took of me without my consent while i was having psychotic episodes bc like. what the fuck. AND i know she literally just shows them #to her friends and laughs at them bc shes told me she does. which is very upsetting. and if i can get her to delete them id feek so much #better and not be upset over that all the time #i just cant get iver how much she fucking sucks. she does so much fucked up shit and its so awful. why would she ever think its ok ti record #me when im not in a good headspace. without telling me. and then upload it to her snapchat also without telling me #i only found out about her doing that originally because she decided to show me some of the funny things people said about me on the #video i didnt even know existed and had no memory of what happened. she loves to claim shes so chill and nice and good about mental #illness and she understands it so much and would never ever do anything weird and ableist like that. and then does that. #i feel so much worse abiut myslef and all the behaviors i have caused by my myriad of mental shit specifically because of her #ugh i am so not looking forward to being in a car with her for 20 hours when i move. but thats how it has to be.

[cl6teen]

come and see me ❀ ln4

in which everybody knows just how whipped your long distance boyfriend is for you

contains: social media!au, student!reader (21-22), whipped!lando who spoils you a bunch, a short little thing because i love writing for lando, this is purely self indulgent lmao; but to my requests dw im certainly getting to them

📍 rio de janeiro

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, bsfsinstagram and 79,477 others

yourinstagram clearly not much studying is being done!

view all comments

landonorris goddamn

landonorris first

bsfsinstagram this is getting out of hand

landonorris 😍😍

landonorris how are you so beautiful??

landonorris hey

yourinstagram hi i have a boyfriend 🥰

landonorris he’s a lucky guy

maxfewtrell please just come visit so that lando can shut up and stop whining about you

liked by yourinstagram

luv4lando lando always having post notifications on for yn is so boyfriend of him 😭😭

user hes literally head over heels for her

oscarpiastri please do your schoolwork

yourinstagram you’re one to talk 😬

liked by yourinstagram, f1bestwags, danielricciardo and 533,266 others

lando.jpg tfw when u miss ur girlfriend but she’s across the world

view all comments

danielricciardo my man my man my man lookin ass

landonorris my girl my girl my girl , and what about it?

yourinstagram i love you 🥰

yourinstagram call me call me call me

landonorris yes ma’am 😍

user lando seems like the type to mention his relationship at any moment and i’m here for it

oscarpiastri he does 😒

landonorris you act like it bothers you

oscarpiastri i just listen because i can’t tell you to shut up

user omg i’ve just gotten into watching f1 but who’s this?

user lando’s girlfriend! he’s head over heels whipped for her

bsfsinstagram please stop facetiming her while we’re trying to study ☹️

user get you a man like lando norris

yourinstagram he’s a one of a kind, but good luck trying!

user nothing was more sweet than watching lando’s post race interview when he said his celebratory plans were going home and facetiming y/n

user need this kind of love in my life asap 😩

my man 🏎️

are you back from the beach?

you

mhm, just made some dinner

wanna see the photos i took?

my man 🏎️

the answer’s the same every time babe

you

i’m screaming into my pillow and kicking my feet rn

my man 🏎️ loved an image

my man 🏎️ loved an image

my man 🏎️

holy shit yn

😩😩😩

is that the dress i sent you??

shit, it looks good, you look so good in it

im glad i bought it

you’re the prettiest woman i’ve ever seen

you

lando omg

stop it stop it

my man 🏎️

i cant praise my girlfriend?

i should buy you more things

you

please don’t 😭

this was more than enough i’m so in love with it

my man 🏎️

if i can’t see you i can at least spoil you

i was going to get you a van cleef stack, what colour did you want?

you

lando norris.

i don’t need a van cleef bracelet.

my man 🏎️

what about some heels?

you

you’ve already got me a bunch, my closet is begging for more space

how about you get me podium on your race in singapore?

i cant wait to watch tomorrow

my man 🏎️

well that’s already a guaranteed

i’ll just surprise you 🤍

you

okay love 🤍

liked by landonorris and 231,900 others

yourinstagram come and see me for once (lando)

view all comments

user awe the photo from his stream earlier 🥺

user HELP when he saw that y/n was watching he got so smiley and excited

bsfsinstagram not the partynextdoor lyric

yourinstagram the best of the best

landonorris im coming.

yourinstagram yeah sure 😓

user the period???

danielricciardo is this shade 🤔

yourinstagram most definitely not daniel, get off my page

bsfsinstagram danielricciardo you can get onto mine instead 😍

user realer than real

user does anyone else thinks she’s always too quick to show off her body, like she barely wears any clothing

landonorris shut up

bsfsinstagram shut up

oscarpiastri shut up

danielricciardo shut up

user omg if i was that user i would have no choice but to stop living bc how u get cussed out four times back to back

my man 🏎️

you shouldn’t worry about that comment angel

it’s been a few days, they took it down

you

i know, lots of people say it anyway

it shouldn’t bother me

my man 🏎️

it’s okay if it bothers you

but don’t change because of it

i like what you wear

i actually love it

you

🙄

of course you like it

you like everything about me

my man 🏎️

why wouldn’t it?

you’re so smart and kind

and fucking beautiful

i won the lottery

so don’t change yourself to fit a rando’s wants

who the hell even are they

you

i love you so much

i wish you were here right now

my man 🏎️

yeah, me too

but i got you that gift i was talking about

it should have arrived by now

you

oh i didn’t even notice

my man 🏎️

yeah they said they dropped it off at your door

you

okay i’ll go check, i’ll facetime you in a bit to try it on

liked by bsfsinstagram, mclaren, landonorris and 643,444 others

yourinstagram so he did in fact come and see me…

tagged landonorris

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user lando standing on business norris

liked by yourinstagram

landonorris i hope you liked the gift i sent

yourinstagram i love it so much

danielricciardo are you not the gift in question lando

oscarpiastri ik your grades are cussing you out rn

yourinstagram i’m actually still getting all A’s i’ll have you know

bsfsinstagram parents reunited in brazil!!

yourinstagram 💋💋

liked by yourinstagram, danielricciardo, oscarpiastri and 895,256 others

landonorris 🇧🇷 with this stinker

view all comments

user the differences in their posts are taking me outtt

yourinstagram why would you post that

landonorris why wouldn’t i post that?

user will you be back in time for qatar?

mclaren he better be 😅

danielricciardo this is so girl from ipanema core lando

landonorris shut up mate

oscarpiastri when lando finally sees his girlfriend again and is no longer there to complain 🙏🏻

landonorris you know you miss me

oscarpiastri say hi to yn for me

yourinstagram best boyfriend ever 💋

landonorris only for you 🤍

#f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #lando norris x reader #f1 imagine #f1 smau #f1 x female reader #navigation. #f1 x you #ln4 x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris x you #f1 x poc!reader

[whyse7vn]

CARDBOARD BOX -

[ ot7 x reader ]

BTW ☠️😂

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

hobi: thinking about when we all lived together and jimin would make jungkook tap dance for food

jk: good times :D

namjoon: but jungkook cant tap dance?

jimin: exactly

namjoon: so you starved jungkook?

jk: no i tapped??

jin: horribly

jk: :(

tae: i liked it

jk: honestly 🥺?

tae: honestly

jk: :D

hobi: why is joon acting like he wasn’t there to witness it???

namjoon: sorry

i just tend to block out the traumatic memories i have with you guys

which is most of them

jin: jungkook was the one dancing for food not you

namjoon: being a witness to that was traumatic

yoongi: it was funny

jk: thank u

yoongi: no

namjoon: moving on

y/n: remember when jungkook would like disappear for 4 hours everyday and come back to the dorms at like 5 am

hobi: OMG YES

jimin: the era where he hated us 😪

yoongi: bring it back

jk: i didn’t hate you guys ☹️

tae: he was just getting his dick wet don’t worry about it

namjoon: he was barley 16?

tae: pussy slayer since 05 😝

namjoon: 05??

yoongi: he was 7 in 05

jin: victim since 05

jimin: jin was like 27 in 05

jin: ??unprovoked

and not fucking true

jimin: as long as you’re alive i’m provoked

y/n: 27 in 05 is crazy

jimin: i’m saying like 😭

hurry up and die maybe?

hobi: bros 31 ☠️

namjoon: ok stop guys

jin: fucking hate all of you

jk: omg it’s raining outside i’m so sad :((

tae: my fault stepped outside and mother nature just couldn’t contain herself

she freaky like that

hobi: paying for ur assassination

jk: what does that even mean

tae: the sky squirting for me bro

jk: oh

that’s nice didn’t know that was possible !!

can you make her stop tho

tae: tell namjoon to step outside and she’ll stop

namjoon: ???

tae: it will be hot and dry as shit if joon steps out ong

jk: namjoon pls step outside

namjoon: kook you need to stop taking tae’s word for things

jk: what

i take no words

i have my own

namjoon: nvm

y/n: life would be so much fun if one of you was a crack addict

jin: ????

yoongi: freak

hobi: real

jimin: namjoon is right here like….

namjoon: leave me ALONE

jk: i’ll be a crack addict for you

tae: i’ll be a better addict

jk: NO YOU WONT

tae: YES I WILL

y/n: shut up

jk: sorry ☺️💕💖

tae: i could so break jungkook’s legs

jk: ☹️

how will i tap?

hobi: you don’t need to tap anymore kook

ur free from that life

y/n: tap by taeyong

jimin: he may be free from tapping in this life but is the tapping life free from him?

yoongi: what

jimin: mentally jungkook is still my little tapping slut

jk: aw man ://

namjoon: did you need to call him a slut??

can we just be nice

jimin: yes i needed to call him a slut

he’s a slut

tae: he was sixteen tapping for you

ur calling a sixteen year old a slut

guys i think jimin is really weird for that actually

jk: me 2

jimin: so?????

you literally said he was fucking at 16 you indirectly called him a slut too

jk: right !!!!

tae: UMM NO???

i called him a pussy slayer actually

and that could mean anything

jk: like what?

tae: shut up jungkook

jk: ok

i’m sorry

it’s still raining

i’m upset

jin: anyways i think yoongi could be nicer

yoongi: ?????

y/n: yoongi’s great

jin: TO YOU

yoongi is actually really really mean and we need to talk about it

jk: i also think yoongi’s great !!

when i was sad about getting old and sick he told me i probably won’t get cancer and most likely die from getting stabbed at 30 on the 12th of december 3pm

namjoon: oh

y/n: yoongi….

yoongi: no cancer !!

jk: NO CANCER ^0^ !!!!!!

tae: yoongi being cold and mysterious will only get you so far in life

jk: yoongi don’t be cold

🔥🔥🔥

here

y/n: jungkook ur so silly

where are you

i want to bite you

jk: 😳

OMW HOME I PROMISE

WON’T BE LONG I SWEAR

jimin: take me back to the days where you had to buy bitches 46 plots of land and a horse to get pussy

i can’t do this being dumb ass hell shit

hobi: maybe ur just ugly idk??

jimin: ????

yo wtf

hobi????????????

hobi: who said that not me whatttt?

jin: that’s why taemin has jimin blocked

jimin: HE DOES NOT HAVE ME BLOCKED

yoongi: woah ok?

jimin: just saying

anyways

jin: ur ugly 😂

jk: beauty is subjective

yoongi: do you even know what that means?

jk: yes ofc ??

maybe…

no 😔

tae: subjective sex

namjoon: stop

tae: SUBJECT SEX

i class i would love to participate in

y/n: is this you telling us you don’t know how to have sex???

tae: NO

this is me telling you i love sex and partake in it often

hobi: stds

jk: i’m confused

why do you want to take a class on it then ???

y/n: right

you wanting to take a sex class implies you know little on the subject of sex actually

tae: SHUT THE HELL UP

jimin: nothing about my beauty is subjective btw

it’s fact

jin: that ur ugly

yoongi: lol

jimin: namjoon tell them i’m not ugly

namjoon: guys he’s not ugly

jin: he’s really ugly

y/n: namjoon tell tae to stop shouting

namjoon: taehyung stop shouting

tae: NO

NAMJOON TELL KOOK AND Y/N I KNOW HOW TO FUCK

namjoon: kook y/n taehyung knows how to fuck

hobi: namjoon i wont lie to you but u lowkey a bitch

jin: right

namjoon: thank you for that hobi and jin i also love you very much

jk: ohmygod joon loosing his mind again

that is NOT what they said

joon come back to us

fight this namjoon fight it

hobi: fighting by bss

yoongi: who fighting?

jimin: joon and his crippling coke addiction

coke winning

namjoon: can we not

tae: i’ll laugh when you overdose

y/n: exo core

namjoon: i just helped you what is ur issue??

jin: do you notice how yoongi appeared again when the word fighting was said????

we NEED to have this man locked up i’m telling you

yoongi: i’ll have you sectioned

jin: WHAT THE FUCK?????

NAMJOON TELL HIM TO TAKE THAT BACK

namjoon: yoongi take that back

please

yoongi: i take it back

jin: good

yoongi: not

jk: yikes jin he got you

yoongi ur really cool

yoongi: shut up

jk: sorry 😆

y/n: stop being mean

yoongi: cant help it :3

tae: who wants to see me split a watermelon with one hand

jk: ME ME

OHMYGOD ME I DO I DO

I WANT TO SEE

PLEASE SHOW ME PLEASE BEOFRE I PASSED OUT PLEASE

PICK ME TAE I WANT TO SEE ME MEMEMEMEMEMEMMEMEME

hobi: tae how is ur financial situation these days

tae: kill yourself

hobi: ok wtf???

i was just asking

tae: jungkook im sorry but no broken watermelon today blame hoseok

jk: hobi what the hell man i was really looking forward to the broken watermelon

y/n: i heard tae filed for bankruptcy

tae: NOT TRUE

jimin: i heard he lives in a cardboard box

tae: SHUT UP I DONT

jk: tae omg……… 😧

is this true

tae: NO OBVIOUSLY NOT

YOU WERE AT MY HOUSE YESTERDAY

AND I ORDERED US FOOD

jk: pls dont shout at me

i’m trying to remember if your house was a cardboard box or not

jimin: (it was)

tae: NAMJOON

namjoon: guys

jimin: ur no fun

y/n: sorry 😔

tae: yeah

you guys better be sorry

stupid idiots

jimin: shut up broke boy

namjoon: jimin please

jimin: whatEVER

tae: namjoon i don’t say this a lot because normally it wouldn’t be true but man i love you

guys i think me and namjoon were married in our past lives

cuz like were so in tune with each other

like he just gets me

i get him

i believe in every life we find each other

like we get married in every single life except this one

namjoon: no offence but in every life i would find you and divorce you if that were true

tae: oh

y/n: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

yoongi: lol

jimin: no i see it the crack addict and the broke bitch love story

tae: at least someone gets it

nvm

should of read the whole message first

u guys are just closed minded

im telling you me an namjoon are like super alike someone thought i was him yesterday and he was so real and right for that

jk: i thought you said that guy that called you rm in the park yesterday was a racist not real or right

tae: jungkook

jk: yeah ^0^

tae: stop talking rn

jk: okay😵

hobi: cocaine is like really expensive how would tae and joon work out

tae wont be able to help feed into joons addiction

y/n: why do you know that cocaine is expensive

hobi: i know a lot of things that just happenes to be one of them

jimin: if you think about it when have you ever seen a crackhead be like nah im not gonna have crack today

they make that shit happen no matter what

and i think thats what attracts tae and joon together

like joon will do anything and everything to get his fix and tae would do anything and everything to have a place to sleep so their hardworking nature is what leads them to love

yeah

jin: ok !!!!!!

jimin i think you need a hobby or something

that was…. a lot

yoongi: shut up

jin: WHAT DID I DO???? AM I WRONG OR DID YOU ACTUALLY ENJOY JIMINS MINI FANFIC LIKE?????????

yoongi: i’ll punch you

jin: and i believe that!

shutting up #now

hobi: i wish i was mark lee rn

he probably doing something really canadian as we speak

jk: like what?

hobi: idk being nice

jimin: you called me ugly five minutes ago

you could never be mark lee

hobi: that literally wasn’t me i have no idea what ur talking about sorry i’m actually mark lee rn so i fr don’t know what ur talking about dude sorry dude i have to go on stage and dance with nct 127 now and then i have vocal practice with nct dream right after so i’m sorry dude i like have zero idea what ur talking about like actually like a sticker 2 baddies beatbox

me as mark lee and scene

jk: 10/10 really believable idk mark lee but i really though you were him for a second

y/n: great performance thought mark was here fr almost kissed you passionately on the mouth

yoongi: what

hobi: thank u thank u

you can still kiss me tho haha lol as mark or not idm

y/n: ok omg come here!!!

hobi: FR?????

y/n: no !!!!!!

but i did imagine us kissing like last week for like five seconds

hobi: yesssss 🙌 😝

a win is a win

yoongi: its not a win

she threw up at the thought

y/n: no i didn’t

yoongi: yes you did

you told me

y/n: i DID’NT

stop trying to gaslight me

it wont work

tae: have you imagined me naked

jimin: liked it better when you weren’t talking

tae: i liked it when YOU weren’t talking

jimin: shut the fuck up

jin: how about you both shut the fuck up

jimin: now why are YOU talking again

yoongi beat the shit out of him

yoongi: nah dont want to

the thought of his face isn’t pissing me off anymore

jin: thank you <3

yoongi: i could punch hoseok tho

hobi: no thank you ???

y/n: yoongi has a framed picture of all of us on his bedside table that he hides whenever you all come over in case you find it

he also has each one of our debut photocards in a small little binder in his studio in a little safe

yoongi: not true bye

yoongi left “BTW☠️😂”

y/n added yoongi to “BTW☠️😂”

y/n: very true very real seen them with my very two eyes

yoongi: you wear glasses

that you don’t actually wear

so who knows what u be seeing

that is NOT true

y/n: i wear glasses to READ and you know that

so shut up

guys yoongi would punch none of you because he loves you very much ok? 😍💖💯

tae: yoongi do you kiss our picture goodnight be honest

yoongi: fuck off actually

namjoon: thats very sweet yoongi

we love you too

jin: i DON’T

i fear my life when i’m around yoongi picture by his bed or not

i’m shaking in my boots i’m scared

yoongi: pussy

jin: i’m telling you ever since he broke that poor woozi guys nose i have not looked at him the same

y/n: ok but that was a mistake right yoongi

yoongi: ?

y/n: it was

and besides has yoongi broken your nose?

jin: no but it’s coming

i know it

yoongi: true

jk: i feel safe around yoongi

yoongi: you shouldn’t

jk: because he hasn’t broken my nose

but jimin did punch me once

jimin: dont bring up my past

hobi: if we think about it jimin should be locked up

jungkook you can press charges you know?

jimin: CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT ME AND WHAT I’VE DONE

like we were talking about how yoongi actually love us

lets get back to that

yoongi: jimin should be put behind bars

jimin: yoongi loves us

yoongi: jimin is a bully

jimin: YOONGI LOVES US

tae: i love you back yoongi

yoongi: kill yourself

jimin is a literal bully like actually

jimin: and ur a fake one cuz u love us

jk: jimin you are bully

yoongi: ur right jungkook

you are so right

jimin: jungkook yoongi loves you

that’s why he’s agreeing with you

jk: i love you too yoongi ^0^

yoongi: jungkook jimin is bullying you

has been since you were 16

jk: ohmygod……..

jimin: jungkook yoongi has a photocard of you that he’s probably decorated and everything just cuz he cares so deeply about you

jk: he does????????

namjoon: ok both of you stop

jimin you ARE a bully

and yoongi its ok that you actually like us you should stop pretending you don’t

jimin: I AM NO BULLY

yoongi: i like not one of u 😒

namjoon: yeah ok

jk: GUYS OHMUGOD

tae DOES LIVE IN A CARDBOARD BOX I REMEMBER NOW 🤯🤯😨

tae left “BTW☠️😂”

—

think of this as a flash back/ forward idk of the good happy times ok? ok thank u >_<

sorry for the shit ending i just really like the first part and wanted to post

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @elissasimp @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks

#bts crack #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts imagines #bts fic #bts text #bts x reader #btsxy/n #btsxyou #namjoon × reader #jin x reader #yoongi > reader #hoseok × reader #jimin x reader #taehyung × reader #jungkook × reader #bts texts #rm x reader #suga reader #vx reader #hope x reader #hobix reader #bts fake chats #bts incorrect texts

[ma3mae]

Hello!! I hope you are doing well, wanted to say I love your work !!

Can I request how the BSD boys (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Chuuya, Fukuzawa etc) would react to gf!fem!reader saying “I am just a hole” after they did something attractive? Something fun and suggestive ehehe~

No brain, just horny!

Summary: No one cared about you being down bad for you bfs since everything's mutual, right? (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Fukuzawa)

Genre: fluff, maybe crack, def suggestive themes, maybe a tiny tiny bit of smut. Who knows 💀

Warnings: yall gonna be horny after this 🤓

A/N: was kinda difficult to think of fitting scenarios but i had fun writing this!! Also thank you for loving my work, anonnnn 💕💕💕💕

Part 2

Dazai Osamu

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAAAAAAT 💀💀💀💀

HES HORNY 24/7, DONT EXPECT HIM TO HOLD BACK LMAOO 💀💀😭😭

okay okay so lets say yall are at the ADA office

hes done with annoying the shit ouf of kuni and now hes just sitting on the couch, literally bored out of his mind

Kuni tells u to tell "that dumbass idiot of a boyfriend🤩" to finally get back to work so u go up to him

u know that scene where he leans his head back onto the grave and slowly tilts it back down and opens his eyes while having that soft smile on his face? oda's only purpose was him dying so we'd get that scene, crying fr 😭😭😭

Yeah hes doing exactly THAT as he notices your presence infront of him, flashing you a smile and only for it to spread even further as he notices your dazed face 💀

"Oh, bella? Too lovestruck to talk to me, I see. Can't help it that I'm just so hands-"

"I'm nothing but a hole for you"

I DONT KNOW HOW SOMEONE COULD EVEN SAY THAT 😭😭 THATS SUCH A WEIRD THING TO SAY AND SO DUMB BUT NO ONE CARES 🥲🥲🥲

AND HIS HORNY ASS DOESNT GIVE TWO SHITS EITHER 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

his eyes are fking bulging as he hears you say that infront of him

ACTUALLY shocked that you had the guts to legit say that outloud and luckily no one rly heard that except him he wouldnt mind if the whole ass office wouldve heard that, we KNOW 💀

you manage to get a good laugh out of him before he just shoots you that god awful handsome smirk before he suddenly stands up

Towering over you, he leans in and whispers "Never thought you'd be so dirty to say stuff like that during working hours. Not that I'm complaining! I'm glad to have such a strong effect on you, bella~" got me blushing fr😳😳😳

Its too late to realise what you've just said. Your fate has been sealed.

OFF TO HORNY JAIL YALL GO 💀💀🗣️

no jk but nah nah he wont stop there

Youve awakened the fking horny beast in him and how could he refuse his love offering herself so blatantly while your coworkers were literally in the same room?? 🤩😋

He just takes your hand as he proceeds to leave the office

Kuni just yells "Oi, where the hell do you think you're going?! Only told you to tell him to work! Not join his stupid shenanigans!! 😡😡"

YOU KNOW that ur bf just turns around and shoots him that annoying ass smirk, only to say

"But Kunikida, we are off to work actually! Nothing you'd be able to do anyway. Tell me when you've found something interesting in all that paper work of yours! Can tell you that our job will definitely be more fun than that~ 😁😁"

You can only give poor kuni a sheepish smile as atsushi just deadpans at the both of you, muttering a "good luck 😐" towards you as your bf just drags you to his car because your job's gonna be too loud to do at the ada and going home wont be an option since dazai's not patient in that sense 💀💀💀

Already sending prayers to you for having to go back to "work" while being sore af and dazai looking like he got out of a 10 day wellness vacation 😭🥲🥲

dazai's actually gonna spare our poor kuni by kinda doing some paper work but our man will be forever traumatised bc hes not oblivious 🗣️

Especially after seeing your neck littered with hickeys 😭😭 u cant hide them, youve got a damn mosquito as a bf 💀

kuni just tosses a bottle of water your way without looking at u bc he thinks its not modest to shamelessly look at them 😤 I LOVE U KUNI

"thanks, i guess" is all you'll hear from him bc at the end, you DID get dazai to work but at what cost 😭

Kunikida Doppo

Flabbergasted. Shocked. Disappointed. Shamefully not too hard to turn on. 💀

His first reaction is gonna be like u just told ur mom u forgot to do the laundry 😭

DEF gonna scold your ass off for saying such things in such an inappropiate setting

its not your fault hes being so hot during work 😤😤😤😤

Tell him off for being so handsome!! 🤩

Wont stop his scolding but u cant take him serious when hes fumbling over his words

Still manages to thank you for ur compliment even though its embarassing af 😭 no way would he refuse such kind words from his love 😋

So anyway it could go two ways with him

The first would be if yall wouldnt be alone at the ADA

You go up to him to ask him about a report you need help with

Ive never seen kuni tie his hair up but... imagine catching him doing that...

With the hair tie in his mouth as he pulls his hair back and like...

It makes u think of the times you'd yank it back during yk what 🤭

So he notices you gape at him and is all like "🤨 are you alright?"

Cue to you just uttering "Damn, kuni. You only gotta ask. Am just a hole for you anyway" out of nowhere

LMAO you can just hear dazai cackling from the couch as your bf just looks at you like 😳 with his mouth agape and everything

Dazai just walks up to you to pat your shoulder

"Kunikida, you've got quite the daring girlfriend!" "SHUT YOUR ANNOYING MOUTH UP"

kuni just quickly ties his hair back and BROO he nearly feels so violated and exposed 😭😭😭😭

Why would u do this to him AT WORK 😭

Ngl u and dazai prob team up to annoy him to death like hes just so fun to TEASE 😤

Anyway he just tells you to get back to work and when u tell him you need some help, he begrudgingly does it bc its important but you can still his hands shake a bit and his face is red as he tries to give you advice on ur work skskksks 💀

Be ready to get scolded for HOURS when yall are on ur way home 🤓

But dw u know how to shut his beautiful mouth up 🤭😋

But if you do the whole thing while yall are alone at work bc kuni decided to stay a bit longer then THATS a different story

Lets say he does the same thing again as above ^ and u say the same thing

He'll def turn a bit red and tell you that you cant say stuff like that during work!

"But kuni, we're alone and no ones gonna come back anyway. It's nearly 8pm after all."

The sun's setting and the only light that softly illuminates the room and it just steals ur fking breath bc 😭 hes so gorgeous with his hair open 😭😭😭

But u can still see his gaze on u, making ur knees weak bc BROO

horny jail for kuni too????? 💀💀💀

jk but he'll clear his throat and just say "a work place is still a work place so i cant let this inappropiate behavior just go like that..."

You're like standing infront of him and he grabs you by your waist, softly kneading it as he tells u to sit on his lap 😭

"Will teach that mouth of yours how to behave. Maybe after this you'll be a bit more tame. Think that idiot has been a bad influence on you like he has with everyone but don't worry. I'll be sure to teach you everything again."

I'll let you imagine the rest here 🤭🤭

Edogawa Ranpo

man just wants to eat his candy in peace, get ur horny ass away from him 🤨🤨🤨🤨

u thought dazai's a whole bitch???? Nah nah this is a MAN CHILD right here

This man wont give u what u want, nah he'll let u suffer alone LOL 💀💀

if this happens at work then 🤷 honestly depends on what mood he is i think

its a hot day in yokohama and the air conditioning is not rly helping yall

so u kinda wanna go grab some ice cream during ur break and u dont need to think twice about asking ur bf to go with u

fr he'll be SO annoying if u dont take him with u 💀 but dw he obviously knows why u r approaching him rn 🤩

but he takes a while to catch on why u just stopped and looked like a fish rn like a combo of this :0 and 😳

he just goes "🤨"

"Damn, the bathroom's close. 'am just a hole for you anyway so let's go" u legit go 😨 after realising what u just said

How no one hears that, idk but this hoe DEF heard u well

U r even more scared bc he just sits there and doesnt react but oops

only needs some sec before he opens his eyes and smirks at u 🤭

"Eh~ You've got guts, Y/N. Saying naughty stuff like that during work hours. Not that I mind though. Just shows how smitten you are by the World's Greatest Detective~"

"N-"

He just waves a finger at u like you're a lil kid getting scolded rn 💀

"Ah ah ah, don't try to refute that fact. Can't blame you for your reaction after all. It's still funny to me that all it took was me losening my tie, gliding a hand through my hair and open up a button of my shirt. ~ "

He just gets up and gives you a peck on your cheek before walking ahead

"I still want that ice ream though! If it's good then I'll give tending to your needs a thought!" 💀 THIS BITCH

but dw he'll make sure to show u how smitten he is after that bc ur mouth just tastes better after some sweet ice cream, right 🤓??

but u know whats the best combo with saying that sentence?

a jealous ranpo 🤩

like ok quick scenario

lets move this outside of work, ok?

So yall are walking around and some random dude decides to hit on u and hello 🤨cant he see that u r legit holding hands with the world's greatest detective??

u kindly tell the man to fuck off but nah hes not letting u chill

wraps protectively his arm around ur waist, clearly showing him that YOU. ARE. TAKEN.

"with that scrawny lookin dude???" bro hes got a death sentence 💀

time for ur bf to show him his skills 🤭 which means threatening him to expose everything about him

immediately tells him where he lives, what he does for a living, where he likes to shop, where his parents live. E. V. E. R. Y. T. H. I. N. G

he just smirks and puffs his chest slightly out as that dude just fking runs off bc id be terrified too 😨

He deserves it tho ✋

"What a fool! Thinking he could challenge ME?! The greatest detective to ever live! See how terrified he was!" hes fking cackling before stopping as he sees ur face

brothers and sisters, we are LOVESTRUCK

and that hoe cann see that right away 💀

"Thank you..." like should we say how hot that was???? maybe 😳😳???

"And?" AH obviously he got us 😭

but we too embarassed to say smth but NICE, theres a nearby alley so u know where hes dragging us 🤩

Pressed up against the wall and hes just centimeters away from u as he asks again

"That wasn't everything you wanted to say, right~? Of course you find me" hot" but just wanna hear it from you, love."

"FUCK, am just a hole for u" 💀😳

goes wide eyed for a sec before chuckling and saying "Well, that wasn't what I wanted to hear but I'll let it count!"

His eyes travel down your neck before finally saying "Hm, I've got an idea in how to make everyone know that you're taken. I deserve a little treat after having saved you, no?" 🤭🤭🤭 got me blushing fr

Anyway problem solved, no one made moves onto u after that and it might turn into a habit before yall go out for the next times 🗣️

But no one's complaining hihi 🤭🤭😳

Fukuzawa Yukichi

oh god where do i even begin 💀

i gotta hold myself back from getting off topic when it comes to HIM 😭

honestly this man has seen and experienced so many things, u gotta do a lot to catch THIS man off guard 💀💀

bro he had to deal with mori's ass in his 20's for too long and STILL deals with it till this day 😐😐😐😐😐

not to mention the agency is like his fking orphanage at this point 😐

Already enough that his first child is still a child with his thirty years of living on this damn planet 🤓

lets say u work at the ADA as well and now yall r holding a meeting to go over some details for a random mission

Idk if its just me but... the way he sits there and is leading that whole shit, telling em what to do and how they could handle it the best way, while encouraging everyone to work hard n stuff... idk....

Its just so HOT 😳😳😳🤭

like hes so charismatic, fuck dazai, yall cant compare ANYONE to this man 😭😭😭😭😭😭 no wonder everyone follows him, id lick his shoes too 😭😭 HORNY JAIL FOR ME?????

anyway he dismisses everyone and the both of you are the last ones to be in the room bc u r just sitting at the table and staring at him like 😳

Dw my girl, hes been noticing the way you've been looking at him the whole time

"Is everything alright, my love? You've been staring at me for quite a while now."

"N-No its nothing 😳"

nah no need to hold back bc we know our knees r gonna buckle the second he takes ur hand

AND HE DOES 🤩🤩

his eyes slightly crinkle at the end as you can see amusement dance in them

"I know that look when something's on your mind. I'll respect your decision to not tell me but I'd like to know what it is."

honestly your red face is already proof enough whats on ur mind but how can u hide it when hes just looking at you with such an intense gaze UGH I LOVE THIS MAAAAAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"W-Well the way you just handle everything with ease even though its a lot of pressure and i dont know...it's just really admirable but also hot when you tell them what to do. wouldnt mind you doing that in the bedroom too, you know. id be a hole for u anytime like this... "

u tryna mumble that shit out of embarassement but he clearly heard you 💀

And he does go wide eyed out of surprise because DAMN thats still pretty straightforward and was kinda the last thing he'd thought you'd say but honestly... he doesnt mind it 💀

in facr hes liking it a bit too much for himself 💀💀 but who is he to complain? Especially when his lover is being so honest with him?

" So you want me to be a bit more authoritative in the bedroom? I-It might be a bit awkward for me to do so but if it's something you desire then we'll gladly try it out together. We should be done with the mission around the evening but if not then..."

you feel his hands gently cup your face as he presses his lips against yours before pulling a bit too soon for your liking

"Then I hope this will suffice until then. I'll be sure to thank you for your patience after everything's over."

THE ONLY THIINNGG

THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IS SAY YESSSS 🤩🤩😭😭😭😭😭

IDC IF IM NOT SPEAKING FOR EVERYONE BC

We WILL wait for him OKAY 💀💀✋✋✋

he just strokes your hair lovingly as you try to hide ur face bc hes just too blinding

anyway as the both of u get ready to leave, yall just hear quick shuffling behind yall bc OOPS

THE DOOR WAS OPEN 💀

THE KIDS DIDNT LEAVE LOL 💀💀 THEY HEARD EVERYTHING

"😳☺️🤭😏" u can choose which ADA member would make which face 💀💀💀

ngl u prob sometimes call them ur children and BRO

ranpo actually annoys u for some candy ngl 💀

u once punched dazai's gut bc yk he'd ask the stupid question like

"if you're our mom, would that make you a milf?"

send him back to the MAFIA trash can he came from 🤩🤩

jk but might write a oneshot about him even tho hes difficult to write 💀

will def do a part 2 of this bc it gives me an excuse to simp for these men 💀

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd dazai #dazai x reader #bsd kunikida #kunikida x reader #bsd ranpo #ranpo x reader #bsd fukuzawa #fukuzawa x reader

[rinstrumental]

ellie gf headcanons pt. 2

# i’m a headcanon machine i cant be stopped… also she is literally a cheesy ass lose girlfriend this part is actually canon confirmed by naughty dog. modern au

if your native language isn’t english/speak any language other than english she is going to think you’re ten times cooler than you already are. best believe she’s hopping on duolingo first thing she gets home too so she can impress you (i know duolingo isn’t the best but she’s TRYING)

she took spanish in high school though

even though she can’t retain the info for shit she will search up terms of endearment in your language and call you them all the time even if you think its corny she can’t stop

whenever someone asks her what her type is she just says “my girl” with the most stupid grin on her face

she fidgets SO much omg she doesn’t wear rings often but when she does (you said they looked nice one time and all of a sudden she’s wearing rings every time you see her) she’s constantly playing with them. she also plays with the strings of her hoodie/loose threads etc.

*playing basketball* “this one’s for you babe” *completely misses*

such a nerd for collectibles!! has been since she was a kid. she has funko pops, vinyls, pokemon cards, snowglobes, plushies, smiskis, calico critters she’s a slave to capitalism

little social media presence. her only instagram account is basically a photo dump which is private with only her closest friends following it. (spoiler alert, most of the pictures are of the two of you)

in the last post i said she’s have a pet gecko but i also strongly believe joel would have a dog. could be a teeny tiny chihuahua or a fucking great dane idk just give my man a good friend! ellie also loves that dog (whatever it is) dearly

doesn’t have any piercings and doesn’t ever consider it unless you say that they’d look good on her… your word is her law FR 😭😭😂😂

okay no she’s not dependent on you to the point of it being toxic though. HOWEVER it’s a bit hard for her to express when she feels upset sometimes and gets jealous easily but she tries her best to communicate and keep it healthy

she has her tattoos though of course. although this is a modern au so she’d have different ones i guess… forearm one is definitely in the cards but also lots of tiny little ones. a few for her friends and family and a few she got in a drunken stupor

pottery lesbian that’s it

gets SOOO red when she’s drunk i dont care what anyone says her alcohol tolerance is average at best

i think she would play a sport sometimes. like volleyball. she plays competitively if she’s in school and she always wants you to come “watch your girlfriend be cool”. bring a sign - she’ll love it

kisses and hugs u after the game while she’s all sweaty too…ew but aw

she also really likes animated movies, not disney but like how to train your dragon and the spiderverse and puss in boots (im projecting). she went to see barbie and oppenheimer on the same day and she didn’t dress up but the spirit was there!!

she’s not a gymbro per se but joel probably would have workout equipment in the basement which ellie uses from time to time. and she’s just naturally lean because she’s an active person. pls tell her how big and strong and sexy and amazing she is

ok fine i think she likes being praised AND SHE DESERVES ITT like she’s such a wonderful girlfriend ❤️ ugh shes perfect I CANT STAND HER

goodnight and good morning texts are part of her routine

sunburns easily so you have to remind her to wear sunscreen all the time

doesn’t really know how to do makeup but she’ll paint your nails for you and do your hair

whenever the two of you spend the night together she’s usually last to get up. this bitch could sleep through the rapture i’m not kidding but it’s okay because it gives you time to admire her pretty face as she sleeps in peace and quiet for once

takes the aux very seriously you guys HAVE to share it. unless you like the same music and i think she would like radiohead, joy division, deftones and loser sad songs like that…. she also is a big fan of the spiderverse soundtrack and kendrick lamar though and thee stallion 😜 (i have two wolves inside me)

please reblog mwah thank you!!

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie x reader #ellie williams fluff #ellie fluff #tlou fic #tlou x reader #tlou ellie #ellie x y/n #ellie x fem reader #ellie headcanons

[adaptacy]

Survivor!Leland Dad Headcanons

i am so so so so head over heels for this gorgeous ball of fluff i cannot even explain. literally spent the past like 4 hours rambling about him i cant get over him hes so MMM

Cw: mild angst, i'll make the angsty paragraphs purple so you can avoid them if you just want fluff :)

!!WARNING!!: you will get baby fever.

Leland is a country boy at heart, and he definitely chooses to settle down with you on a small ranch complete with a few acres of property, just in case you ever want to have livestock or expand, but also because he wants room to build playsets and make sure his kids are getting out and have space to play outside.

He'd buy the wood to make a playset, and he'd get all of his dad's tools together and stand out back, staring at the pile of scrap, trying to figure out what to do with it. He wasn't all that familiar with it, but he wanted something handmade- he wanted to be able to build a play set so he could tell his kids about it. You'd go out back and chat with him about it, and every time he explained his vision to you, it was something different.

After about a month, you ended up just purchasing one of those store-made play sets and gave him some of the supplies as well as the instructions. However, he used the wood parts he'd gotten for the bulk of it. The playset ended up looking a little strange- most of it was natural wood, but then the roof and stairs were plastic, and the slide, and the railings, but it had a bit of charm to it. And Leland loved bragging about how he built it himself. You still remember the large grin he wore when he presented it to you, and then leaned down, speaking to your stomach and telling your baby how about all the fun they were going to have on it.

He spent the next two-weeks baby proofing it. Padding everywhere, he managed to static-proof the slide, he added extra stability to the fences, and it ended up looking even more... unique. You teased him about it, telling him that kids were going to find a way to get hurt no matter how much he baby proofed it, but he was stubborn that some was better than none. You let him get away with it, until...

He started baby proofing the house. Some, you understood. Outlet covers. Cabinet locks. Baby gates by the stairs- that was all fine. But then he started putting rubber softeners against every sharp surface, he moved around all of the silverware so that it was out of reach- out of your reach, too, and hardly organized. You put an end to this really quickly, and although he was clearly anxious about your kids finding a way to hurt themselves, you'd tell him that- yeah, they were kids. That's what they were great at. He was just making your lives harder without really doing anything. So, he took it back a notch, though you did notice him sprinkle in random rubber rounders on sharp corners. You didn't call him out on it, and he eventually was satisfied, and stopped, leaving it to rest.

He dresses his babies in overalls and cow-print onesies, the fabric always has some sort of pattern on it, whether its small horses or sunflowers- whatever it was, it had a pattern on it. He wasn't very good at picking out outfits for them, as they very often clashed and he didn't understand that you can't just mix patterns, but with a bit of guidance from you (and you supervising him when you shop for clothes), he slowly got better at picking out outfits for them, and also started getting a bit better at picking out his own outfits as a bonus.

While it wasn't a terrible case, you did suffer from a bit of postpartum depression, especially with your first, and Leland felt awful about it, like genuinely gut-wrenchingly bad, so he did everything possible to make things easier on you. He always offered to be the one on wake-up duty, refusing to let you get up out of bed when the baby started crying. If you wanted, he'd go and get them and hand them off to you, letting you hold them for a little while and let them fall back asleep before he returned them to the nursery.

One night, you'd waken up to the baby crying, but Leland reassured you that he'd take care of them, so you went back to sleep. When you woke up about an hour later, Leland still wasn't there, and you grew a little worried. You got up out of bed and checked the nursery, and both of them were gone. You immediately went into a panic, and you headed down the stairs, only to find Leland on the living room carpet with your baby, leaning against the couch as he dangled a foil toy above them. He yawned; he looked absolutely exhausted, and he was dozing off as he bobbed the toy up and down.

"Lee?" "Huh-? I'm awake, I'm awake, where is she?" He jolted awake, looking around until he spotted your daughter reaching up for the toy above her head, and he let out a breath of relief. "Sorry, she just would not go back to sleep. I came down to start the coffee, and set her down here, and.... Guess I just dozed off." You laughed, walking over to him and sitting next to him, leaning your head against his shoulder. "Do you wanna go get some sleep? I don't mind starting some coffee and watching her." "Are you sure?" "Positive. Go get some sleep, babe, you're all good," you reassured. He kissed your cheek, and then kissed his daughter's forehead before heading back upstairs.

Especially for your first kid, he got really anxious when they'd cry. He'd try all sorts of things- tried burping them, tried feeding them, tried playing with them, anything he could think of. And it took a lot of persuasion for him to realize that, no, your kid was not dying, they were a baby, and babies cry. He got a lot more accustomed to this idea by the second, and then the third, and was pretty much a pro by the fourth kid.

Oh yeah, four kids. Three girls and one boy. He is SUCH a girl dad and I will not be accepting criticism on this.

Every single time you gave birth, you'd hold the baby for about fifteen minutes before passing it off to Leland, who refused to give it back for at least an hour. He'd tell you to just get some rest, you deserved it, and he just wanted to take the trouble off your hands. "Our baby is not trouble," you'd remind, but he'd shush you, and as time went on, your kids started chiming in, telling you "Just get some sleep, mom!", and you'd pretend to go to sleep, and Leland would sit on the floor with them, letting them see their new sibling.

He wouldn't let them be held by any of your kids, he didn't want to risk the worst, but he'd talk it through with the kids, explaining the story that Mom worked really really hard for their new sibling, so they needed to be gentle with them, and be patient. The older ones understood it, but the younger ones had a little trouble grasping the fact that babies could be loud, and annoying, and frustrating, but he'd explain to them that babies can't do anything else because they don't know much. Exactly the way that you'd first reassured him about his anxieties with the baby crying.

Another thing that never changed were his occasional anxiety attacks, usually after a bad nightmare back to the event, or when he couldn't sleep despite his meds, and he paced in the bathroom, running his fingers through his hair over, and over, and over again. Thinking about the what if's. Thinking about all of it. And he'd get on the edge of tears, the edge of really breaking down, before he'd go into the nursery and sit next to the crib. He'd set his hand inside, and the moment that his baby's tiny fingers wrapped around one of his, he'd let out a tense exhale, managing a smile. Even when they were grown, he'd stand in the frame of their door in the middle of the night, reassuring himself that he'd done fine. That he'd made a life for himself. Made a family for himself. That they'd be proud of him. And while it never got easier, he got better at understanding it, at calming himself down, at reassuring himself.

As his kids get older, they start asking about his scars. You overhear it from where you're cleaning in the kitchen, and you step closer, listening in. At first, you worry that he'll shut down- you know how sensitive subject it is for him, and there's silence.

"Daddy?" Your daughter asked, and you could hear a sniffle. He let out a soft chuckle. "Yeah, see, you aren't s'posed to know about 'em. Stuff you don't wanna know about your daddy, kiddo," he'd respond, and you could practically see the pout on her face. It was his fault he spoiled them so much. "C'mon, daddy, tell me! Please? I promise I won't tell anyone else," she hummed. "Nobody? Not even your brother?" "Nobody," she assured, and he sighed. "Well, before you were born... I went on a lot of adventures. Me and my friends. See, we had to fight these real bad guys. During the battle, they got a good couple of hits on me, and that's what the scars are from." "Did you win?" There was another pause. "Yeah, sugar, I won." "Where are your friends now?" Another pause. "They're out there protectin' others. They don't have kids like me and your mom. I had to retire from kickin' butt," he teased. "You're still my hero, daddy." You smiled, and you could hear his voice break as he replied with, "I love you, baby. Don't ever forget that, alright? No matter what happens." "I know, I love you too, dad."

It wasn't long before your kids started to touch his scars in passing, when they were playing with him, or when he was sitting on the couch next to him. They'd lean against his shoulder and touch the ones on his forceps, ones that you knew were far too small to be sensitive. But then they'd touch the ones on his back, and you'd hear him let out a quiet grunt, trying to shift- not shift away, but shift so that his back faced them, and they'd ease up their pressure. He'd remind them to be gentle, and they'd oblige, gently tracing the scars on his back.

He understood that they were curious; they were young, and touch was how they explored. He would've been curious too, at their age. So he was patient with them, and understanding. Even when they'd accidentally poke at a sensitive spot, and his jaw would tighten, but he never got angry at them. Sometimes, he'd give you a look, and you'd understand immediately, and distract the kids with something else so he could have his personal space.

It wasn't long before a lot of his scars were named. The ones on his back were Billy and Jessie, and the one on his chest was Hugh. The others had names too, but they changed pretty often. Those three remained the same, though. Sometimes the kids would line them with colorful markers, drawing wings around them or drawing faces on the scar tissue, and he got used to them messing with the scars, and it started to affect him less.

From the minute they grasp the concept of walking, those kids are dancing. Or, at the very least, bouncing as Leland danced around them, singing to whatever was on the radio at that moment. He loved having dance parties with his kids, and you'd join in, and he'd twirl you, your kids acting as a hype squad as the two of you danced. He liked letting his kids pick out something from his vinyl collection and putting it on, dancing along to his favorites and teaching them how to dosey-doe and square dance.

The first time his daughter fell off of her bike, he cried way more than she did. She was already back on the bike, asking for Leland to help her, and he was practically bawling, talking about how he was so proud of her for being so strong. You'd laugh, and step in, helping her out while he collected himself.

The moment that his daughters have enough hair to clip a bow on, he's doing it for them. He does it for every outing, all the way until they graduate. Every prom, he set up one of the bedrooms as a sort of salon, and he did all of their hair for them, even the ones who weren't going to prom that year. And every year, he was teary-eyed as he did it, rambling about how much they've grown up.

With his son, most people expected him to go hog wild with the sports dad thing, but he was entirely the opposite. he didn't want his son to get hurt, so he never even encouraged the idea of sports.

"Lee, you were in football in high school. Don't you want that opportunity for him?" "I knew a guy who was paralyzed from football." "You knew a guy, or you heard it on the radio?" "..................I'm not takin' any risks."

He swears your hormones are contagious. If he walks in on you crying, he starts crying, and he never cried before you had kids. And then both of you would be crying, and neither of you would know why, so you'd start laughing, and then you'd go back to crying again. He didn't understand it in the slightest, but he was fine as long as you and his kids were.

Speaking of hormones, you had to sit him down when your oldest daughter got about 12, and you gave him a very in depth discussion about how periods work, what he should expect, and what he can do to help.

The next time he came back from the store, he had a box of every single brand of pad and tampon. And he assured you that it was important because you never know what might work. Well, what worked was the first box that they tried, and now Leland was left with a lot of boxes and a lot of period products. So, what did he do?

He broke down the boxes and took out all of the period products. And he made a fort with the boxes, using the pads as adhesive and using the tampons as decoration. You and your two daughters stumbled across him working in the living room, laying on his back as he used a pad to tape two boxes together.

"Dad...? What are you doing?" Your eldest asked, the three of you exchanging a glance. "Are you okay, daddy?" The younger one added, and he sat up, turning towards the three of you with the happiest, most proud-dad grin on his face. "It's a period palace!" He laughed, showing off his work.

The kids didn't play in it much, but he and Jacs had their fun with it, and before long it was thrown out, probably for the best.

When referring to him in conversation with your kids, you'd refer to him as Dad, or Daddy, and he'd refer to you as Mom. However, when he was being more affectionate, he'd refer to you as Mama instead.

#tcm #adapting to leland mckinney #leland mckinney #leland tcm #leland mckinney x reader #leland mckinney x reader fluff #leland mckinney angst #leland mckinney headcanons #leland mckinney fluff

[stargirlie25]

Me through reading all the ACOTAR books.

ACOTAR: Ew Nesta and Elain are so annoying. This is going to be the best series, Feyre is such a baddie! Awww feylin so cute! DAMN LUCIENNN. I know she ends up with Rhysand but im not vibing with him......how can ACOMAF excuse this?

ACOMAF: Ohk feysands kinda cute but i dont think we can justify all that....Oooooo Cassian and azrielllllll! Awww i hope Mor and Azriel gets a book! *Goes to tiktok and finds out mor is gay* damn Azriel.OMG I LOVE NESTA NOWW PERIOD POP OFF SIS MY QUEENNN. Elain is there too. Ooooo Nessian. Elain and Azriel? I mean as long as its not mor! NAHHH GIRL DONT U DARE BLAME LULU BLAME TAMLIN! OMG ELAIN AND LUCIEN???

ACOWAR: Feyre isnt really feyre-ing any more :(.OH HELL NO SCREW IANTHE NO WAY YOU DID THAT TO MY MANSSS!!! MY POOR LULUUU Why feyre lowkey being such a bitach?

Awww Elucien is so tender! LUCIEN AS A MATE AWWEEEE. Damn Nessian making me sqeual. Lucien went away to find the queen from elains vision! OMG. CASSIAN IS SOOO FINEEEE, elriel is lowkey getting boring....Why is she disrespecting tarquin? He has ALL rights to be upset. Ok tamlin in the HL meeting is being pretty annoying and doing nothing but feyre did nothing as well but NESTA ARCHERON THE WOMAN YOU ARE!!!!! WTHHH HELION AND LUCIEN??????? OMG the war!!! NO THE SURIELLL. THE BONE CARVER NOOOO THE WITCH LADY I FORGOT HER NAME BUT NOOOOOO. THE ELAIN. THE FEYRE. THE NESTA. Omg i have no regrets in my life but this.Damn Nessian ur hurting me. NOOO papa arhceron diedddddddddddd. Damn Ok Elain and Nesta king slayers! Oh rhysand died........i know damn well he gonna come back......´´Be happy feyre´´ bawling. Omggg Lucien was besties with papa archeron???? THE ONLY FATHER FIGURE HE HADDDD DAMN WHY ISNT FEYRE TELLING LUCIEN?? Awww lucien and feyre hug! Cass and feyre are cute but i miss the og´s! Ok girl you flying.

ACOFAS: Snoring. YALL ARE CUTE BUT IM BOREDDD AS HELL. Ok literally no one asked for this Mor pov. Wait why did Elain invite lulu if she is uncomfortable around him? Her power? Elriel kinda gave me brother and sister but i guess elain likes him now.....HI EMERIE IVE HEARD ABT YOUUUUU!!! I just want my girl Nesta, feyre u are not feyreing.

ACOSF: I love nesta so much!!!!!!! Cassian is acting like Rhysands frikcing dog. I hate amren soo much. WHY is Elain acting like shes the victim like nesta told you to leave and now you crying?? Girl you are 23 years old! Ok respect azriel has never disrespected my Nesta. Aw nesta gwyn and emeries friendship is the best one yet!!!!!! Azriel is starting to show an actual personality.....With Gwyn? Okay Gwynriel is so cuteee *sees elucien and gwynriel theories* 100% on board with this!!!!! DAMN the Valkyries! I am so excited for all the other girls to tag along! Just imagine a MOB of nesta gwyn and emerie!!! Eris? HELLL YAHHHHHHH VANSERRAS FOR LIFEEEEEE!!!! YOU ARE TELLING ME CASSIAN DID NOT SAY I LOVE YOU ONCE? Of course nesta lost her powers and she obviously lost them for the sake of the main characters that im bored of :(

ACOA (A court of Azriel): You got her a rose flower......because she likes flowers??? Why is this man so insecure about his hands around her? That cant be right......MISTAKE? THANKYOU RHYSAND FOR STOPPING THIS MADNESS! Wow he just wanted to F**k her and thats it? WTH is Gwyn doing here? Ok creepy Azriel is gone and this new azriel is here? Aweee he is actually kinda cutie now and he is laughing? HE SINGS???? OMG SHE SINGS THO! His shadows singing and dancing with her??? Cuteeeeeee, Ok so he gave the necklace to clotho to give to gwyn, thats cute she does in fact deserve something beautiful like that but why Elains? Ig its the though that counts. SPARKED IN HIS CHEST???? THATS ROWAELIN/NESSIAN LANGUAGE!!!! HOW does her picture it proper?? Glowing and secret? Where the hell did he tuck the image bruhhh?

A thing of secret lovely beauty. AHHHHHHHH clotho and the shadows are team Gwynriel for sure! Gwynriel are sooo mates tho and i hate Elriel with every fiber in my being. How did azriel go from mr. creep to mr. melts my heart?

After finishing: Wow everybody on tiktok are elriels. They are so confident elriel is endgame? Hmmmm but none of their points make sense but i cant explain in a comment section! Maybe Gwynriel and Elucien isnt endgame :(

*Downloads tumblr*

Gwynriel and Eluciens on tumblr have their freaking masters degree DAMN

#pro gwynriel #pro elucien #anti elriel #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #acoa

[4awny]

Sp Driving Headcanons that literally nobody asked for

Stan:-

first one to get his licence obvs

usually a calm and defensive driver

gets a scratch on his car and says aw man my dad's gonna kill me

even when he's 30

drives drunk probably

car is a mess. shit everywhere

overall? man can drive. 8/10

Kenny:-

doesn't have licence. couldn't afford that shit

drives anyway

and it's his brother's piece of shit car

can't park for shit, usually just hopes for the best

has a bunch of naughty bumper stickers for sure

can fix his own car

something always broken

huge dent on the side. "jeez man, how did that get there?"

knowing full well it was a hit and run

felt bad so left a note on the dude's car: hit your car but I'm broke and dont have a licence. my bad sorry. hope you get it fixed

somehow never gets pulled over

overall, dude shouldn't even be on the road. 1/10

Kyle:-

suspect to road rage. man's got issues

hates traffic with a white hot passion

no one is allowed to eat in his car... ever.

cartman is the only one that ignores this rule and is constantly hiding wrappers in random places to annoy him

it annoys him

has run a red light on more than a few occasions

got caught speeding. argued his way out of it. thanks dad

overall, a decent driver but mf needs to chill. 7/10

Cartman:-

hates slow drivers

will happily park in disabled spots

and will say "not every disability is visible!"

and then actually gets offended when someone calls him out for doing it

usually kyle

the type of asshole to say "someone better have died for this" when driving past a collision that got him stuck on the highway for 2 hours

tailgates people for fun

hates being tailgated

gets cut off. follows them for 20 mins just to call them a useless cunt

1 ticket away from losing his licence

overall? 4/10. enuff said

Butters:-

taps the wheel along to songs

sings a lot

sometimes oblivious to road signs

because he's usually looking at the scenery around him

drives 10mph under the speed limit

just to be safe

always offers to drive the guys

the guys: 😒😒😒😒

overall, 6/10. score would be higher if the singing stopped

Craig:-

finds driving a chore

but also likes having his own transport so he can bail anytime he wants

like that one time clyde surprised him with a huge birthday party. but that's another story

parks at the back of the parking lot

then regrets it when it rains

never gets to play his own music, because whoever's in the front is in charge of the bluetooth. it's always clyde

mf always giving lifts to people

for free too

always questions himself why he does it

overall, dude deserves a medal for putting up with so much shit. 10/10

Clyde:-

never drives. simple as that

thank fuck for craig and drive thrus, huh

overall, the leech gets a solid 0/10 and that's being generous

Tweek:-

6 failed attempts before he eventually passed

thought he was cursed

turns out he cant drive for shit

only drives to places he's familiar with

so basically a 3 mile radius from his house

drives in silence. man cannot concentrate

tells people to shut up if they are talking to him when he's driving

like I said, man cannot concentrate

overall? I mean, at least he tries. 5/10 for effort

Tolkien:-

listens to the same radio station

pretty observant. can see the accident before it even happens

the most sensible driver out of everyone

somehow never gets asked to drive tho

takes advantage of that

always offers to pay for gas

is the only one that does

overall, a great driver. 9/10. wd buddy

#thanks for coming gang #about time i contributed #south park #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #craig tucker #eric cartman #kyle broflovski #clyde donovan #tolkien black #token black #tweek tweak #butters stotch #southpark #south park headcanons

[woomycritiques543]

Ok.

I cant beleive that im saying this but-

STOP TALKING ABOUT JUST HELLUVA BOSS!

-and from that I mean:

The show is awful beyond repair, and what we talk about now is just a repeat of what we’ve said before to the point of burnt out when we already know how this season ends.

The show has bad representation, we get the point. Move on.

-and number two.

THERE ARE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE GETTING HURT RIGHT NOW AND ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS A CARTOON BIRD?!

Really, that’s what we’re going to do?

Whine about a cartoon bird being a creep while the creator in real life has been following a incest blog for over five years?! Not even mentioning the real life implications anymore but just a fictional character doing a bad thing? Not even representation and how it effects real people, but just going “WAAAA VIV’s DEPICTING INCEST IN A SHOW AND DIDN’T DO ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH REPRESENTATION IM TELLING MOM!!!” No, that doesn’t matter.

We already know how the show is going to end. We already know how S2 going to end and all of what needed to be said about the fictional characters has now been said.

When what is important is REPRESENTATION!

-and not just that, but helping those that worked on said cartoon that need our help because they’re being treated horribly- While most of us just sit there and whine about a cartoon character being evil, honestly, it’s becoming tiresome, we cant keep just making this about Helluva Boss anymore-

SPINDLEHORSE NEEDS OUR HELP! So many people are still at that studio and yet we’re still focusing on just the show and that’s not what’s needed at this point! We need to help with what’s happening IRL!

Vivzuepop isnt just transphobic, but also a literal ableist by calling depression “disingenuous” just because it isn’t obvious to her and literally called trans men and gnc “ashamed of being a woman” and a “trender!”

That’s horrible, and yet the fandom still tries to act as if this is somehow “normal” behavior for someone who claims to be a “trans ally” to have when it’s clear that she only shoves the transgender label onto characters that are on the storyboards, shoves them into the background, or erases them if they’re noticeable, when that just means that she doesn’t actually want to represent them, and with her outward transphobia, only did it for brownie points and to fetishize them for money while claiming that trans men are “ASHAMED OF BEING WOMEN AND ARE LOUD HARASSERS THAT WANT TO BE WHITE MEN!” when the “white” part is just a strawman argument to be transphobic.

In fact, everyone that Vivienne Medrano has hurt needs our help, and at this point, Helluva Boss is becoming a waste of moral time that could have been used to help someone in REAL LIFE! There’s so many of us, we can all do something if we combine our efforts instead of just getting angry on Tumblr about cartoon characters most of the time. But that’s it, we need to actually do something and go OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR to places that are more visible. So again- We need to have “#StopVivziepop” at least get close to trending. There are clearly enough of us, we just need to start doing it.

We need to get all that we have seen/learned, but it into a document, and post threads, along with interviews, etc. We need to make what’s wrong with what Vivziepop is doing known, while talking about the wrongs of the animation industry as a whole.

We cant just make this about the cartoon anymore!

We need to TAKE ACTION!

#STOPVIVZIEPOP

#helluva boss critical #vivziepop criticism #vivziepop critical #StopVivziepop #helluva boss criticism #anti vivziepop #anti helluva boss #spindlehorse criticism #spindlehorse critique #anti hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #helluva critical #tagging everyone here since we need the help we can get. STOPVIVZIEPOP!

[moonfungers]

this is sort of random as hell but i can't help but think of like. a funger termina isekai fic. 💀 no but like. FEAR AND HUNGER IS THE WORST universe to be inside, really. it's all misery!!! pain!! suffering!! and i'm just picturing this like, regular person gets transported into the universe and just absolutely loses her shit bc she KNOWS, she KNOWS DAMN WELL exactly how she's screwed, far better than anyone else!! she's played the games dozens and dozens of times, died so many times, and now she's IN that setting, she's in that world, and death is now PERMANENT with REAL stakes. she knows the entire game like the back of her hand, but what does it matter, bc it's fear and hunger. there's only so much knowledge that can help you . .

in my head, in a lot of isekai fic and stuff, ocs tend to like, hide the fact that they know things? but i feel like a modern-day oc who gets transported into fear and hunger would be forced into a position where she has to be honest bc its the best chance of survival. this isn't a game where she can just follow the right steps, recruit the people, get them to do the things, this is now real and dangerous and terrifying, and she knows that she can't do it alone.

and i'm just picturing like. d1, she wakes up before everyone else, loses her shit, and then promptly refuses to let ANYONE leave the train. no no but like, also can you picture what im seeing, this woman just pacing back and forth frantically, very clearly losing it, and she's like "you fuckers are not going ANYWHERE, we are all traveling TOGETHER, bc you all do not understand how much danger we're in" and then the others are like, you know, the train just stopped, weird dream, they haven't even been to prehevil yet so they don't know how fucked up everything is over there, and now this random stranger is just losing her shit, they don't take her seriously bc honestly who would, and so she just. she just starts fucking putting them on blast

"o'saa i know you went into the dungeons and nasrah's with you" "pav you will SIT your motherfucking ass down, you do not stand a chance against the fucking kaiser and it isn't even the REAL one you fucking idiot"

"levi i know youre going thru like. withdrawal right now and its totally ok and we have a doctor here and i will get you some heroin if i need to but like please dont run off where i cant find you"

and just basically knows stuff she absolutely shouldn't know, and she's like "YOU GUYS GOTTA BELIEVE ME BC OTHERWISE WE WILL LITERALLY ALL DIE, DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND. there is only ONE way to guarantee us to live and im telling you this bc i know how screwed we are and i cant do it alone ive never even held a fucking weapon in my entire LIFE i just play video games at home-" and also how fucked up is it, that this isekai oc would know damn well that no matter what, someone has to die? like. you either kill everyone else and like get sulfurized/escape, you get moonscorched bc you run out of time, or someone has to become one with logic. aka to get the best "everyone lives" run, someone still needs to die

idk my brain just had this pop into my brain and won't let it go. it'd like, a cliche trope ofc, but i feel like in the context of fear and hunger, it'd be just so horrifying and awful and so WONDERFUL to read

bc its like, fear and hunger is a game series that we know damn well is a horrible like, UNIVERSE to be in, its depressing and awful for the characters who live in it, but can you imagine the ripe ANGST of having an isekai oc from our world go into it? they have our world as a reference point, in the way none of the other characters do, bc this is their world, they don't know anything else, how could they? but this isekai oc would just be so fucking-- innocent in the way the others aren't, bc she hasn't lived through the horrible F&H world and like, the dynamic there is so so interesting too bc all of the characters in termina, all of them on that train are AWARE or have been involved/done bad things, and this here is a character who hasn't, who hasn't seen blood or misery for her entire fucking LIFE. she'd be an "everyman" character by our standards, you know, but by their standards? she'd be such a fucking anomaly with the shit she says, the things she believes in. and also, you know, the fact she knows things about all of them and the situation they're in she has absolutely no right to know and its so SO interesting to think about, actually?? like genuinely losing my mind thinking about this rn

#fear and hunger termina #fear and hunger termina spoilers #rambles #funger #f&h #fear and hunger #my post #god i rambled so hard #if anyone has other thoughts on this idea please ramble too im kjfldsjfksd #I HAVE NO IDEA IF ANYONE WILL EVEN READ THIS #BUT RAAHHHHH

[captain-mj]

Girl PLEASE PLEASE next part of monsterhandler au PLEASE

This was written before the poll so if you guys made it fox, they’ll Fuck in the next one

i cant with you. soap is so respectful with ghost and still acknowledging him as his LT. Will we get more Gaz/Alex? Does Alex also get the aftermission jitters? How does Gaz deal with that? Whats that about wing binding??

Another person asked so ESU stands for Experimental Soldiers Unit (not the most creative but it gets the job done). First part of this is focused on Gaz and Alex, then we switch to Soap and Ghost again

Alex and Ghost talked quite a bit the first few days of meeting. Price and Gaz had watched their budding friendship with great interest. But then they just... stopped. There was never an indication of a fight and when asked, both seemed confused by the assumption they weren't friendly.

Gaz had been Alex's handler since they met pretty much. Farah had never wanted to be a handler, wanting to focus more on her mission, so it made sense when Alex pointed out that Gaz had the necessary credentials and they would be working together anyway.

It took the third mission for see what was "Wrong" with Alex. It was expected. All of the ESUs had quirks. Being ripped apart and shoved back together with pieces that weren't your own does that.

After each mission, Alex would "sleep". That's what Gaz assumed at least. He went to bed after debriefings at least. It scared the hell out of Gaz to find him kneeling on the floor, hands covering his ears, half shifted and shaking because he couldn't pull himself together enough to just be human. Gaz had never felt like such a failure. He should've known, but after talking with Farah, he realized Alex didn't want them to know. The man hid it well.

It wasn't the jitters that Ghost got or the irritability and dizziness common among ESUs. Alex reacted more like he dropped. He refused to explain to Gaz what exactly he experienced, citing that he didn't have the words for it, Gaz thought he was a liar but didn't press.

It was one of the easier days. Gaz could tell because Alex just pulled him into his lap and held him. He was silent, wings wrapping around the two of them like Gaz would leave him alone. On the harder days, Alex just sets his head in Gaz's lap and stares somewhere Gaz can't see. It was always awful, seeing him like this.

Unfortunately, not much could really be done. Gaz just had to wait for Alex to find his way back from wherever he was. It never took too long. Usually, if Gaz had the timing right, the coffee he made for Alex would cool enough for him to drink it.

Alex was perfect. Literally. He was considered the shining example of what ESUs should be. His transformations were perfect. When human, he retained his improved eyesight and hearing with no indication he was anything but a normal soldier. His wings were modeled after a hawk and he had never shown any signs of being feral or depressed due to the changes.

Alex and Ghost talked quite a bit the first few days of meeting. Price and Gaz had watched their budding friendship with great interest. But then they just... stopped. There was never an indication of a fight and when asked, both seemed confused by the assumption they weren't friendly.

Gaz had been Alex's handler since they met pretty much. Farah had never wanted to be a handler, wanting to focus more on her own mission of freeing her people, so it made sense when Alex pointed out that Gaz had the necessary credentials and they would be working together anyway.

It took the third mission for see what was "Wrong" with Alex. It was expected. All of the ESUs had quirks. Being ripped apart and shoved back together with pieces that weren't your own does that.

After each mission, Alex would "sleep". That's what Gaz had assumed at least. He went to bed after each debriefing and stayed there a couple of hours. It scared the hell out of Gaz to find him kneeling on the floor, hands covering his ears, half shifted and shaking because he couldn't pull himself together enough to just be human. Gaz had never felt like such a failure. He should've known, but after talking with Farah, he realized Alex didn't want them to know. The man hid it well.

It wasn't the jitters that Ghost got or the irritability and dizziness common among ESUs. Alex reacted more like he dropped. He refused to explain to Gaz what exactly he experienced, citing that he didn't have the words for it, Gaz thought he was a liar but didn't press.

It was one of the easier days. Gaz could tell because Alex just pulled him into his lap and held him. He was silent, wings wrapping around the two of them like Gaz would leave him alone. On the harder days, Alex just sets his head in Gaz's lap and stares somewhere Gaz can't see. It was always awful, seeing him like this.

Unfortunately, not much could really be done. Gaz just had to wait for Alex to find his way back from wherever he was. It never took too long. Usually, if Gaz had the timing right, the coffee he made for Alex would cool just enough for him to drink it.

Alex buried his face in Gaz's neck and breathed in. "You're wearing new cologne."

"Ran out of my normal stuff and can't really get it here."

"Ah. I like it. Different though." He pressed closer to Gaz, like they could melt together. Gaz would let him if it was possible.

"You're talking faster than normal. You alright?"

"Yes. Thank you for sitting with me."

"Of course. Can't let you be alone like this. Not right to."

Alex adjusted Gaz so they were facing each other. Despite them not being too different in size, Alex could still toss him around with ease. He had once picked Gaz up and threw him during a mission. That moment had been on replay in Gaz's head for weeks afterwards.

Alex kissed him softly and Gaz cupped his face before reaching up, running his fingers through his hair and along his scar before touching the sensitive tufts on top. He nipped his lip in response and Gaz laughed but quickly moved his hands elsewhere.

Despite what he had said to Soap, he knew he couldn't do those methods either. The idea of hurting Alex, even mildly, was nauseating. At first, he had thought it was because Alex was better. It was an unfair thought of course. Alex was not "Better" than the others. He simply was Alex.

Wing binding was... well. What Ghost did was not technically wingbinding. He tied his wings indoors because he couldn't properly shift. If he was like Alex, they could just disappear. But since they couldn't, he had to tie them down to his back. The actual thing was used as a trust exercise for particularly frustrating monsters and a light punishment. The handler would tie their wings together and then their hands underneath it. It didn't hurt, just caused discomfort, but the point was thanks to the way they were tied, they were helpless. They had to trust their handler to free them and not hurt them. A few handlers blindfolded their charges too, but it was more controversial. Considered more cruel. Though Gaz knew some of those same people considered corporal punishment fine. He believed that was a bit hypocritical. 

According to Alex, who apparently had it done a few times, not by Farah of course, it was more about the sensitivity to him. His wings were special. It felt violating to have them tied. Gaz had overheard him and Ghost talk once. Alex had said he had no idea how Ghost could handle them being seen all the time and Ghost had just shrugged and said its something he had to get used too. He couldn't wear a mask over his wings.

Gaz scratched at Alex's scalp, hearing him purr. "Hey, could you do me a favor? Well, its more for Soap than me."

"Sure." Alex opened his eyes and grabbed the cup Gaz had made him. He sipped the overly strong coffee.

"Ghost hasn't done anything wrong, but Soap is having trouble getting Ghost to trust him. If you have any ideas, I could pass them along."

Alex hummed. He looked serene. Beautiful in his calmness. "I'll see. Personally, I think he's doing as good as he can get right now. But I'll also try talking Soap up to Ghost. He trusts me."

Gaz nodded and kissed him again. Alex pulled him closer, trying to melt into him again.

"There you go, love." Gaz mumbled softly against him. He tugged his hair and kissed along his jaw. Alex relaxed against the bed, looking up at him. Gaz had somehow ended up straddling him. He went to move and Alex grabbed him by his hips and pulled him down.

"Please." It wasn't actually a plea. More of a courtesy. A "you can stop but I really don't want you too". Gaz didn't want to stop. They kept kissing and Alex's hands slid under his shirt. He squeezed him and Alex got rid of Gaz's clothing. Alex kissed down his chest, holding him in place.

"Alex." Gaz groaned softly and lightly tugged Alex's hair, getting a sharp bite in return. He let out a whimper and Alex flipped them over.

"Time for me to take care of you, yeah?" Alex whispered against his throat.

-

Ghost did the mission with the same brutal efficiency expected of him. He didn’t really focus too much on anything else other than completing his task. Soap’s voice sometimes echoed around in his ears and he followed his directions since he had a bird’s eye view of the situation. 

When Soap told him he had cleared everything out and they were good to go, Ghost went into autopilot. He ended up behind Soap, following him so he didn’t have to think too much. His feet were clumsy for some reason and it was hard to think. Before he even got to evac, his hands started to shake almost violently. 

This wasn’t good. The… fucking jitters. He hated them. He wondered what Roba did that made this happen. Did he rewire his brain while he was unconscious during the experiments? Make it to where hypothetically he’d always be at fucking war? 

Soap noticed. The bastard. He noticed and he looked at him gently. 

“Lt, this is an order. Go to your room.” 

Ghost stared at him for a long moment. That part of him, the argumentative angry part, wanted to scream at him. But he did it. Ghost went to his room like a good boy. He did what he did before. He planked and then did pushups and then threw up in the attached bathroom until his skin felt like it would fall off. Until his throat burned from the acid and his eyes watered. 

He was a mess. Pathetic. Needy. He scratched at his throat, cutting through the thin fabric. He wanted nothing more than to come down. It wasn’t even that he wanted to sex, he need the touch. The feeling of another body. The release of endorphins was a nice addition though. 

Ghost didn’t look in the mirror. Couldn’t look in the mirror. Didn’t want to see the thing that reflected back at him. 

His door opened and he knew it was Soap. He fixed his mask and pretended to be fine. 

Ghost shook his wings out and looked down at him. He made sure to seem bigger, more intimidating. “Listen. I’ve said multiple times, I don’t need your help for this.”

Soap stepped closer, looking very, very nervous. “Okay. What if I scratch your wings again?” 

Ghost frowned, wings twitching. “No. Look I don’t…” Don’t what? Want to be touched? That wasn’t true. He didn’t want to be perceived though. 

Soap knew. That was the most infuriating part. He could see Ghost’s boundaries better than Ghost could. 

So Soap touched the inner part of his wings, gently scratching. Ghost leaned against the wall, his body tensing all over but pushing closer. His head tilted back. 

“Harder.” Ghost puffed out. His voice sounded too breathy to his own ears. It felt nice, sending little tingles up and down his spine.

Soap stared at him, realization flashing through his eyes. “Simon.” Oh how Ghost hated the way his name rolled off his tongue. His thick accent twisting the syllables. He wanted him to say it again. “Do I need to stop? I know you and Price di-” 

Ghost covered his mouth immediately. “Please, shut up. This is humiliating enough.” 

Soap’s eyes crinkled like he was smiling and he yanked the feathers. Ghost moaned and arched into him, panting softly. Pleasure and pain zapping through his body. He was so sensitive. No one ever touched him like this and he wanted to take Soap to bed and return the favor. Ruin him like he was working to ruin Ghost.

“I don’t…” Soap said softly and Ghost groaned, prepared to snap at him to please shut up again. Before he could speak, Soap scratched the base of his wings carefully, making him whine. “There ya go. Now listen to me. I don’t want to take advantage of ya. But I’m supposed to take care of you.” 

Ghost wanted to bite him. Tell him he was perfectly capable of consenting and if Soap wasn’t careful he’d bend him over his desk. 

That sounded nice actually. His hand probably fit perfectly around Soap’s throat. 

Soap slid to his knees in front of him. “If this isn’t enough, just tell me, yeah? Want to start slow.” He unzipped Ghost’s pants and pushed them down. Ghost looked up, eyes focused on the other wall. Soap paused. 

“Everything alright, Johnny?” His hand tangled in his mohawk, not pushing or pulling, just holding. 

Soap responded by licking up his cock, hands on his thighs. Ghost let out a soft sigh. The warmth from his hands mixed with the pleasure finally dragging Ghost back down to earth. Filthy kisses were placed up and down his cock, Soap’s tongue flicking over him. Ghost bit his lip to keep quiet. 

He felt Soap’s mouth closing around him, struggling a little with the size, especially since from the way Soap’s tongue flicked along the veins in his cock, he doubted it from a lack of experience. 

“Fucking hell.” He pushed Soap forward a little, feeling Soap’s gag around him and pull back. 

“You’re too big to be shoving me around. Stay still.” Soap grumbled and started to take him again. Ghost resolved himself to instead gently scratch at his scalp and rock his hips. He felt pressure start to build in his stomach but Soap had set too slow of a pace. It was pleasant but it wasn’t enough. 

Ghost yanked him away, finally glancing down. Soap’s face was slick. Pretty. Lips slightly swollen and tears streaming down his face. 

“Johnny.”

“Simon.” His voice sounded rather hoarse. “What do you need?”

Ghost grabbed him and Soap’s nails scratched over his biceps. They ended up on the floor, Ghost pinning down Soap’s wrists far above his head. Soap looked afraid. Just a little. 

“Simon.”

Ghost growled and tugged at Soap’s clothes.

“Tell me to stop and I will. One word. All I need” 

Soap kissed at where his mouth would be through the mask. Ghost, taking that as permission, shredded his clothing. He hadn’t put his gloves on so it was easy. 

A moment later, he pulled back just enough to grab lube from his dresser. He handed it Soap. 

“I need you to prep yourself for me. Nice and slow.” Ghost’s hand around Soap’s throat. 

Soap whimpered and coated his fingers. He kept eye contact with Ghost as he did. Ghost kept him pinned, reminding Soap of his place. 

Soap panted softly against him. “Ghost.” The hand squeezed. 

“Keep calling me Simon.”

“Simon. I need to be able to walk tomorrow. Just wanted to remind you of that.” Soap grinned before groaning as he fit another finger in himself. 

“It’s why I’m having you prep yourself, darling. That and…” He dug the tips of his claws in just enough for Soap to feeling them, but not enough to break the skin. Soap moaned and pressed closer, more firmly into his hands. 

Ghost nuzzled against his cheek and Soap desperately kissed at some bare skin along his throat. “I’m ready, come on.” The slick sound of his fingers stopping as he pulled them out.

They rearranged themselves. Ghost’s hips between his thighs. He held Soap’s hips and pushed into him, hearing him groan. Soap hit his shoulder and he paused. The warm, tight heat was making his brain fuzzy. All he wanted to do was bury himself in Soap and not let him go. 

“Fuck, just… need a minute.” Soap panted against him, holding on to him. His hands started to scratch at the special spot between Ghost’s wings and his hips jerked of their own accord. After a moment of Soap adjusting, Ghost started to push in again. He kept pushing in, going slow but not stopping even when Soap started to shake. 

Ghost noticed the bulge in Soap’s stomach right as he bottomed out. He held Soap down and let him adjust again. The little pants and whimpers driving him crazy. 

“Slow.” Soap ordered and Ghost listened, rocking his hips into him carefully. He made Soap keep looking at him, watching the embarrassment building as Ghost made him whimper over and over again. Ghost slowly pulled out to sink back in, Soap’s back arching as he did. His body clenched hard around him and his mouth opened slightly. Ghost let go of his throat to gently slide his fingers along his tongue. Still careful with the sharp edges, he explored Soap’s mouth. Soap started to suck on his fingers, not being nearly as careful. His eyes were glazed and his legs were shaking. 

Ghost thrust in harder and hit his mark, making Soap’s moan. He started to speed up, hitting the same spot over and over again. Soap scratched at his back before yanking at his wings. 

“I cannae, cannae, cannae, Simon.” The man under him whimpered and Ghost grinned, fucking him harder. His eyes fluttered shut as he groaned loudly. 

Ghost stroked him once and he was spilling over his hands, shaking. He held him by his hips and thrust in a few more times before spilling into him. 

Soap gently pulled Ghost closer until their foreheads were together. “Better?”

Ghost paused and took stock of himself and… yeah. He was great. “Did I hurt you?”

“So you are feeling better.” Soap sounded smug. How he managed to when he was still trembling from the aftershocks was beyond Ghost. 

“Fuck off. Did I hurt you?” Ghost pulled out of him, making Soap whimper. No blood so no tearing. 

“No. Don’t worry. Though, I wasn’t really expecting to do this… You wanted this. Right? I know its just after mission maintenance, but I’d hate to think i took advantage of you.” 

Ghost glared at him and fixed his clothing. Besides his unbuttoned pants, he hadn’t really lost any clothing. 

Soap seemed to just now realize what Ghost had done to his clothing. He looked like he had been mauled by a bear. His pants ripped down the seams and his shirt in tatters. 

“You fucking cunt.” Soap groaned. “How am I supposed to get back to my room like this?”

“Half the base wouldn’t mind seeing you like this.”

“Careful. Might think you’re jealous.” Soap snapped, getting up slowly. He gritted his teeth and Ghost felt bad. 

“Sit down on the bed for a minute.” Ghost ordered and he grabbed some of his clothes. One of his sweatshirts that went over his wings so there were no holes in the back and a pair of sweatpants. Soap went to take them from him but he swatted him away. Instead, he got the rest of the tattered clothing off and redressed Soap in his clothes. “There.”

Soap looked flustered. “Ah. Thanks.” 

Ghost ruffled his hair. “Wait until you can walk. You’re shaking like a newborn dear.”

Soap huffed at him but continued to sit. 

Taglist: @nalawayward @joltom @azure-winter-crow @korym @cod-hyperfixation @thychuvaluswife @revenge-of-the-bucket-demon

#johnny soap mactavish #john price #captain john price #ghostsoap #simon ghost riley #soap cod #cod mw2 #ghost cod #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare ii #alejandro vargas #rodolfo parra #rodolfo cod #alerudy #aledolfo #soapghost #soap x ghost #ghoap #Experiment au #Monster au #Monster!Ghost #Monster Ghost #The Remains Au

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

dawg, lemme tell you somethin, I LOVE your writing style so far and I want more SO BAD !! I’ve been stuck by myself in the “I’ve been an arcana fan since release but now it’s like dead” hole, so I’ve been absolutely starving for content. Your headcanons are such a great length and so descriptive, each one feels like I’m reading a whole fanfiction, and it’s a real treat. I cant wait for more !! 🥺🥺 If I ever get around to scribbling some stories based on your thoughts, I am tagged u on SIGHT.

I’ve never requested headcanons before but what about m6 with an mc who walks with a cane?

The Arcana HCs: M6 with an MC who walks with a cane

~ thank you for the positive feedback @taduki ! I'm so happy when I find out my ramblings bring people joy. I have a few friends who use canes regularly, but I don't have any personal experience. I'm basing this off of the little bit of research I did and the experiences I've heard about, so if I make any mistakes please let me know so I can correct them ~

Julian

He thinks it's hot

He's a doctor, he's familiar with mobility aids and the many reasons someone may need/want to use one

Dude literally had three years of experience as an apprentice under Nazali in active warzones amputating limbs

He's the type of guy who loves learning new things, so once you're comfortable going into detail about your condition to him he will have so many questions

And then he's going to go do research about it

And then he's going to come back with even more questions

But mostly he just thinks it's hot, canes just have so much dramatic potential

Can you keep a sword in it? Can you use it like a club? You would make such a good pirate with him

Once you explain that it's actually easier to use if it's lightweight and easy to store he'll stop suggesting modifications

But if you have it with you while you're out and you don't feel like using it he'll keep it hooked over his arm or clenched in his fist because deep down he's a theatre kid

Asra

However much they knew about mobility aids before the Red Plague, they learned everything they could after you woke up

He's so tuned in to you he can tell at a glance what kind of day you're having and will act accordingly

When they were reteaching you magic some of the first spells they taught you were what they remembered you using to help with your disability

He has definitely enchanted your cane before, mostly with your permission

One of the useful ones was a shrinking/growing rune so you could keep it in your pocket

Less useful was when one of your customers made a rude comment about you not moving as fast as they wanted you to around the shop

So they enchanted it to trip them on sight

He forgot to tell you, you didn't find out until the rude customer came back on a day you weren't using it and you watched your cane fly across the room to thwack them across the shins

They're not allowed to touch your cane without your permission anymore

Nadia

The evening she first arrived in your shop you weren't using it so she didn't notice it until you arrived at the palace the next evening

When she realized she had been getting annoyed at you for being late, only to see you walk in with a mobility aid, she felt awful

It was also a wake up call realizing how many stairs you had to climb just to get to the front doors of the palace

She doesn't want to pry or burden you, but she's also deeply committed to providing for your every need, and there's a day or two of her waffling back and forth between pumping you for information and pretending there's nothing unusual afoot

Once you open up about it she's very invested

Every outfit she gifts you comes with a high quality cane, beautifully painted to match

After everything's done with the Devil and she's reworking Vesuvia's infrastructure she is definitely taking accessibility into account

She's not going to burden you with her education or assume you're an archetype, but she makes sure you know that your input is more than welcome on any and all of her plans

Muriel

That trip with Morga was hell on your body

You spent weeks riding and walking for hours with minimal rest, trying to learn physical self-defense tactics at the same time

He may be gruff but he's not cruel, he was offering to carry your bags (or you) by the third day in

Seeing how patient you were with both Morga and yourself was one of the things that convinced him to open up to you and trust you

He prefers speaking with actions more than words

One of the first gifts he gave you was a beautifully crafted cane, lightweight and incredibly durable, with the story of your journey together carved into it

He also customized it to work with you perfectly, because he knows better than anyone what a body in discomfort moves like and he's memorized all of your tells

When you move into his hut with him he makes trails through the woods for you so you don't have to worry about uneven ground or roots or loose stones

He is also very happy to carry you around if you ask him to (he will blush the whole time though)

Portia

It's cannon that the first time you meet she out walks you across Vesuvia

It takes her a little while to adjust her assumptions

Not because she thinks badly of anyone who uses a mobility aid, but because it's her job to be on her feet all day long and the concept of having difficulty doing that is totally new to her

There are definitely a few moments when she bounds up the stairs two at a time, only to wait awkwardly at the top silently berating herself for not paying closer attention

The first time she matches her pace to yours on a slower day for you her whole worldview shifts

Being the type to power-walk everywhere, this is the first time she's been able to notice all these beautiful details around her

Was that painting always there? The fabric on those curtains is gorgeous!

Now it's one of her favorite things about who she becomes around you

She will (and does) throw hands with anyone who makes a disparaging comment about you moving too slowly

Pepi tried to jump up onto your cane once when it was propped up against a table and made the biggest crash when she fell

Lucio

Ooh, nice accessory, he's got one too!

It should be shinier though. Don't worry, he'll fix that for you as soon as he's no longer an incorporeal goatman

He has no filter between his brain and his mouth, he is bombarding you with questions. Why do you use it? Were you in a particularly nasty fight?

For once he's not being remotely judgemental (except about the fashion sense involved), dude has an entire missing limb

Sometimes he'll reminisce about what it was like before he got the alchemical prosthetic he has now, and will ask you if you have any ideas for your cane

He is very happy to carry things for you and often suggests you use his golden arm to lean on instead

He says it's more fashionable this way, but really it's a point of common ground for him and he likes having you close and being dependable

If you let him he will absolutely buy a pair of matching canes for the two of you, yours to help you move around and his to make grand sweeping gestures with

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #asra the arcana #julian the arcana #nadia the arcana #muriel the arcana #portia the arcana #lucio the arcana #the arcana #the arcana shitpost #asra alnazar #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #portia devorak #muriel of the kokhuri #lucio morgasson