#and i fucking hated having to do that to my artist

[ventismacchiato]

O4 stuck with you — screaming and fighting !

scaramouche x gender neutral reader

You and Scaramouche were dragged backstage and away from prying eyes, faces flushed and chests rising as the adrenaline from the argument on stage had yet to wear off. The dressing room was still, only filled with you both throwing insults at one another. The rest of your group members shared sheepish looks with one another, deciding to let you both get it out of your system.

As soon as the door was tightly shut you whirled around to face Scara.

“You just always have to get the last word, don’t you?” you asked, stepping closer to him.

“You’re the one who started yelling at me, I was just defending myself,” Scaramouche replied, his tone equally heated, but his posture was much more composed than you. 

“You’re the one who told me to give up,” you accused. 

“Yeah, give up the trophy so I could hold it,” Scara sighed.

“Yeah, as if you deserve to hold it.”

“Now that you mention it, I do deserve it more than you.” 

“You don’t know what it’s like to actually work for something,” you glared, voice laced with contempt, “You probably get everything handed to you by your mom.”

He glanced away, abruptly uncomfortable. “You shouldn’t talk. Your voice is even more unpleasant when you’re whining.” 

Naturally, you kept talking

“That’s the only reason you’re even here with the rest of us,” you continued, letting your jealousy cloud your senses, “I can’t be the only one who thinks that.”

Scaramouche’s face hardened. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he muttered, shoving his way past you to leave the dressing room before turning around one last time.

“Nobody even knew she was my mother until I became a trainee. I used a different name on the application forms. But if hanging onto that little fact makes you feel better about being so pathetic then be my fucking guest.” 

And with that he slammed the door behind him.

You hated the way he could make you inexplicably self-conscious. It used to be a foreign sensation, one left behind long ago in insecure adolescence.

You stood there, breathing heavily, as the door swung shut. The room was silent, everyone stunned by the intensity of the confrontation.

Lumine stepped up and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, slowly guiding you outside to cool off. 

“We’re also gonna head back,” Aether awkwardly laughed, grabbing Childe and Kazuha by their collars and dragging them out.

“So, that just happened.”

“Shut up, Venti.”

“We really need to broaden your vocabulary, Y/n. Your insults could be better.”

“You too, Fischl! Zip it!”

stuck with you!

masterlist — prev | next

begging u guys to let me use ur usernames as fans in this au pls let me make u a crazy stantwt user xx but pls comment on the masterlist so i see it

also everyone saying scara keeps eating yn up w insults is sending me 😭😭

title from the way i loved you by ts it suits scarayn so well

synopsis — after the disaster that was the live award show, where you and scaramouche got into an argument on stage after both of your groups got a tie for top artists, your guys' PR teams have been in shambles trying to scrape up your mess. that's when the idea to send you both off with some other idols to a remote location for a survival dating show to mend your public image comes up. before you know it your bags are packed and you’re on a plane to a remote island. the only obligation is you need to end up with scaramouche at the end of the show, whether you end up liking him or not doesn’t matter to your managers as long as the show’s ratings stay high. whatever you do in between to get there is up to you!

notes — 👍 leave me comments and asks instead of begging for updates pleek i need motivation to post more

taglist — @na1lea @cindywasneverhere @lunavixia @aestherin @mlaakai @camvrin @retiredmommylover @iheartpieck @jangyung @cartierfiles @loveariel @silly-ez @mochipls @pomeiu @chuuismylife @flowerypesky @creammpuff @justanothertiredreader @boxdisappeared @kissmiere @kissingkzuha @webbywill @kazusboyfriend @s3xpistolss @pjsucks @bunns-wonderland @lordbugs @localgirlywithnolife @kosumos @danfelions @featuredtofu @pinxeajin @herebyaccident0 @haeunoo @scaradooche @pglt19 @chemiru @childesbabygirl @simonisferal @shutingstar @vxcmx @domimiki @ttalgi @esuz @tokkishouse @kitsuvil @scarasmood @ihearttori @nomurahayami @starringyau @androxphobic

#scaramouche x reader smau #scaramouche x yn #scaramouche x gender neutral reader #scaramouche smau #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche texts #stuck with you smau

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''

[despite-everything]

why cant i just catch a fucking break

#ive been sick since monday but its not covid and ive been having to attend classes and go to work and shit #and i spent hundreds of dollars trying to get my car fixed only for it to break down again last night #and my radio stream was silent for a whole hour last night due to a tech issue that wasnt even my fucking fault #and ive just now noticed the gap between my front teeth is much larger than it used to be cause my retainer broke a couple months ago #and even though ive managed to get health insurance again i still dont have dental #and i went through SEVEN years of braces already. ive done my fucking time okay #and then just now a glass of chai fell over in my fridge and covered everything #and because of where my fridge is i cant even take out the drawers so i have to clean them where they are #i just feel like shit and that isnt even considering everything going on at work and school #oh and also i had to cancel my tattoo appointment kinda last minute because my cough got worse #so i knew i couldnt stay still for long enough cause my coughing #and i fucking hated having to do that to my artist #i just want to rest #tree talks

[uncanny-tranny]

Good news! You aren't required to make your hobbies and passions "marketable." In fact, your crafts, hobbies, and passions don't even need to be public if you so choose. You don't have to spend all of your energy becoming perfect if you aren't enjoying the process. You are not a product, you are a person, a creative, and your work also does not need to be a product.

#positivity #yet another post that's like... thinnly-veiled as being for myself #i find myself freezing with anxiety when i think about the things i used to do (writing especially) because... #...i had felt this force to make it ~content~ and ~marketable to an audience~ and it was so fucking daunting... #...it felt like being a gladiator in a coliseum #even now i fight the urge to equate being marketable to being acceptable and worthy of admiration and praise #i wish i hadn't burnt myself out of writing by doing this because i'm simultaneously grieving my writing and hating it #and it sucks the life out of what makes you feel like a person and it takes the art out of art #so be free! pist your art or don't! you are beholden to nobody!!! #(obviously this is not the case for professional artists who rely on their art to keep them alive) #(and i criticize heavily the idea that audiences are entitled to an artists labour) #(i understand that this isn't universal and if it doesn't apply to you then you don't have to take me seriously) #(if you are a professional artist or what have you i hope you are able to feed and house yourself off of that career!) #(i hope you are able to live a happy life and be able to keep loving what you're doing)

[minthological]

hello, fwendy-wends!

i bring you my little painting of wiggog y'wrath because i am. not normal about him. haha

sketch + alt pics below the cut <3

the one above is before sealant, these ones are ~30 minutes after sealing! also tilted one a little so you can see the shinies better! highlights my beloved 💚

#npmd #starkid #nerdy prudes must die #wiggly #wiggog y'wrath #lords in black #art #artists on tumblr #painting #acrylic painting #fanart #starkid fanart #can you tell he's my fav..... #maybe pokey next! if uh. i have another smaller canvas 😭 this was my last 3.5 x 2.75 #his hair was the fun part. soooo many swoops and strands!! wiggly's got volume!!! #side note i do need his sweater. immediately #but yeah the whole summoning he had just the biggest “blowing you up with my fucking mind” aura #but he's in human form so i imagine he can't quite put that across. hence his eyes filled with hate behind him :) #i love how completely done he was the whole time. and his dynamic with pokey? ugh. massive tired big brother energy #i am RANTING okay hope you all like bye bye!! 👋👋

[kawarikisaki]

A page 2 of this, because I can;

And a bonus drawing too:

#dcxdp #dpxdc #my art #got more notes on that first comic than i have on any other thing ive ever posted combined #didn’t expect that #but damn was it encouraging #so now theres more #but also i hate drawing backgrounds.... #fuck backgrounds #im a character artist #anyway i might do more of this #also i got attached to the DC side through fanfic so i dunno what half these people are supposed to look like and google didnt help #but i tried #only the officially adopted kids (+danny) cause there's a limit to how many people I can draw at once without going insane

[omgcatboi]

I don't often post my non kink related art but I'm tryna get the attention of someone else in the community and am too shy and cringe to reach out so. Here, have this portrait I did of Hanzo Shimada. With my finger. On ibis paint. This took me four hours. Progress for proof below.

#we have so many similar interests and im trying to not be cringe about that 🧍‍♂️ #hi im autistic and some people are really really hard to reach out to lol #anyways ove/watch fandom please don't look at my fat kink blog i cannot handle normie anon hate rn #plus id. what u think bc u play OVE/WATCH #idc* oops #not retyping all that #and if you have seen this art on animo and noticed i updated my signature no u didnt!!! #i dont want people on amino knowing im a fat guy that thinks it hot to get fatter #let me be kinky in peace #hanzo #hanzo art #hanzo shimada #hanzo fanart #overwatch fanart #watch either get no notes at all like all my other art or spark the first fatphobic harassment campaign against me bc i dared #to post out my uaual tags #anyways #artists on tumblr #trans artist #overwatch #my art ALWAYS gets ignored its such a SHITTY FUCKING FEELING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats WHY I NEVER POST IT !!!!!!!!!!!! #but whatever im not normal and need to make friends somehow #when people learn to give the attention my art is worth ill post more #but yall on this site NEVER. do ( at least on ever blog I had before this one) #i just dobt post much of it here bc whats the point? no one gives a shit about my intrests and skillls #im just. pretty face to look at #and thats all ill ever be or amount to #bi polar ramblings ig ig ig

[knifebaby3000]

sweet ★

#artists on tumblr #art #oc #digital art #cowboy #?????????????????? still hate tagging #my art #tian #hi i have good news and i have bad news #good/GREAT news: my man woke up from his nap and is back to carrying my fucking blog. [ zhu voice ] thank u daddy! 🥰 #bad/hilarious news: this is dedicated to my fav pair of jeans which ripped in this exact spot on 30 apr as a final Fuck U to Me from April #THEE cruelest month. they do not make these jeans anymore. 7yrs together....................... distraught #anyway sniff lmfao this was a study #my values are slightly off but i still like how it turned out!!! #also i half-assed his tattoo last time but not today!!! #drawing is so hard......... but worth it.......... my boyfriend's back and he's cooler than ever........... learning............. et cetera #btw caption is a ref to sweet honey buckiin (thank u beyonce (and shaboozey)) but also if u change the tone ''tian'' means sweet! 天 vs 甜 #ok luv u bye i've been fussing at the colors for an hour i am going to BED

[radioves]

brugmansia [angel’s trumpet]

#i cant say i hate the entire genus of solanaceae genus since i couldn’t give a damn about whatever tomatoes got goin on #but i can say FUCK datura and FUCK brugmansia. they’re both virtually the same but brugmansia has these stupid ass center petals #that datura doesn’t and i was This close to settling for datura if it wasn’t for brugmansia’s nickname ‘angels trumpet’ being cuter compare #to datura’s ‘devils trumpet’. anyways where was i- oh right the actual design #yeah his flower is brugmansia if that wasn’t obvious enough. as for his bird i chose white wedding doves #the outfit isn’t inspired by any one thing i just searched up ‘angelcore outfits’ chose a cute dress and went from there #if it were my choice i actually *wouldnt* have given him clothes since he was originally inspired by cupid hence the heart arrow bow #but! alas. i felt that would be weird to literally anyone else so i didn’t do that #definitely would’ve given him a gun if given the choice. we’ll see #digital art #artists on tumblr #illustration #mcyt #hermitcraft #grian #[.art]

[spaciebabie]

"i couldnt find the artist but im reposting this art!" "this art isnt mine!" "credit to the artist 😋" YOU DESERVE NAUGHT BUT WORMS DEVOURING YOUR ROTTEN FLESH YOU SCUM OF EVEN THE HIGHEST HEAVENS. YE WHO CARES MORE TO CONSUME AND PROFIT MORE THAN YOU DO TO CHERISH. YOUR STORY OF GREED WILL AFFORD YOU NO PLACE IN THE HEARTS OF OTHERS AND WHEN YOU ARE LAID IN THE DIRT TO DECAY AS THE DAYS GO BY AND YOUR BONES ARE WITHERED BY THE SOIL YOUR EXISTENCE WILL ONLY BE KNOWN BY THE MICROBES THAT FEAST AND FEAST UPON YOUR FLESH AND BONE UNTIL THERE IS NO MORE. YOUR SIGNIFICANCE WILL START AND END WITH YOUR GRADUAL DECAY AND YOU WILL BECOME NOTHING MORE THAN THE DIRT THE ANIMALS WALK UPON.

#spacie spoinks #this is your friendly reminder ta not repost my art 💖 #IF YOU SEE SOMEONE REPOSTING MY ART REPORT THEM PLEASE THEY DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION #I FUCKING HATE REPOSTERS WHO JUST FUCKING SCALP ART FROM HARD WORKING ARTISTS AND THEN POST IT ON THEIR FUCKING #INSTAGRAMS TA FARM LIKES AND GARNER ATTENTION I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU #AND THEN YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO PUT 'credit to the artist!' WHICH ONE FUCKWAD????????????????? THERE'S A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD #THERE IS LIKE NO REASON FOR ACCOUNTS THAT JUST REPOST OTHER ARTISTS ART 2 EXIST ITS ONLY FOR CLOUT

[starii-eyed]

lol i keep forgetting to to post. anyways chappell roan wip. wife. i love her. im gonna kill myself thus is gna take so fucking long to render why did i start dthis i have a million other wips to work on.......

hehe. mwah. smooches u.

#stari art #art wip #wip wednesday #but its saturday #MWAH #chappell roan #i love chappell roan #i have been listening to her nonstop #the rise and fall of a midwest princess #SCREAMS #i hate art #fanart #chappell roan art #sobs #aaa #art #i think my scoliosis came from me being an artist #what the fuck am i doing #digital art #chappell roan's lips

[figofswords]

the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

#WHAT AM I DOING!!!! #i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch #too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun #no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point #trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this #WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!! #there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time #my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me #my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job #i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time #i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again #and WHAT DO I WANT! #THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY! #I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!! #anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed #delete later #i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious) #versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected) #i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want #ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you #i miss that i want that back #whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go

[stiffyck]

watching a video about AI "art" and im losing braincells over some of these people oh my god

#the way someone ACTUALLY SAID THEYRE NEVER PAYING ANY ARTIST AGAIN AND ARE THANKFUL TO AI???? #FUCK YOU #i dont wanna do art professionally #i just draw for fun and for myself #but GOD THERE ARE SO MANY ARTISTS LOSING THEIR JOBS OVER AI #AND SOME POEPLE THINK ITS A GOOD THING #FUCKING WHAT!!!!! FUCK YOU #i hate ai art and i hate anyone who fucking tries to defend it #get off my blog #we support artists here #if you cant comission an artist because you dont have the money THATS FINE!!! IM NOT MAD BECAUSE YOURE NOT THROWING MONEY AT ARTISTS #IM MAD THAT BIG COMPANIES AND PEOPLE WHO CAN AFFORD TO PAY ARTISTS USE AI SO THEY DONT HAVE TO PAY ACTUAL FUCKING ARTISTS #IDK IF IM MAKING SENSE BUT GOD FUCKING DAMNIT AM I SO MAD #stiff talk #stiff angy #new tag #for me getting pissed over shit

[pansyfemme]

honestly the only thing keeping me going through this bullshit is being friends with so many freaky trans people i feel like talking to other trans people is the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes

#having people bitch about me making being trans my whole personality is funny af #because its not really. people just sometimes dont care to actually get to know me #and 2) yeah my art and style are based around it. because i am an artist. making a political statement in my work. a relativly common thing #to do. that is what my work is about. im sorry its so offensive to you #fuck dude i like to think i have a thick skin after facing near daily transphobia on and offline since i was a kid but i do feel so angry #its so easy to get away with for some people #because it has nothing to do with them and everything to me being a cis hating bigoted scary transsexual who bullies cis people by standing #in a room and not being cisgender

[konohamaru-sensei]

Better not check the portraits in the attic.

#art tag #sentai daishikkaku #go go loser ranger #ranger reject #ugh #the red keeper #the yellow keeper #i am too lazy to tag more if its not found then WHATEVER #anywway this is based on a conversation i had with moona about how sousei and shinya might be THE SAME #kind :) they are.. both.... fucked up.... iykyk #just that one of them definitely has more control #anyway #thi sis a cool concept i wish i were a better artist to execute but unfortunately i am me and my drawing is so so #so you have to forgive me #also i was so proud of experimenting with lighting and mood but now i already hate it when i do it #AHH #art hard man

[luneatic-art]

and then, dawn

#malevolent spoilers #malevolent fanart #malevolent #malevolent ep 26 #blood #my art #UMMMMMMMM GUYS. GUYS? GUYS? THIS SHOW. #literally had to do this i couldnt sleep otherwise #fucking. come on. come on come on come on harlan guthrie #yo've fucking murdered me what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #anyway AHEM AHEM. have some greasy man in a pool of blood god bless #fanart #artists on tumblr #the unfortunate thing about staying up in a delirious haze to make art at 3 am is that im probably going to hate this tomorrow :( #but you know. fuck it