#and i don't want tumblr to delete me lmao

[pharawee]

—I FEEL YOU LINGER IN THE AIR 💮 Episode 12 (Finale)

#i feel you linger in the air #ifylita #i feel you linger in the air the series #bright rapheephong #nonkul chanon #yaijom #yai x jom #ifeelyoulingeredit #thai drama #thai bl #bl series #bl drama #my edits. #in which i left out some stuff because i'm a coward #and i don't want tumblr to delete me lmao #(how am i going to survive making playboyy gifs) #but their breathing during this scene killed me #the way it was overlayed over the flashback scenes #i don't know if that was brilliant or weird but it did something to me

[angelpuns]

Hello Angel, I wanted to apologize sincerely. I didn't know that doing what I'm doing was really rude and annoying. The person I send the fan story (kid Leo au) accidentally had already reached to me (I had forgot to do it anonymous) and "explained" me that what I'm doing is so inappropriate and I'm just doing it for the likes in other people's blogs and using their own content instead of being original and do my own, and also told me to not do it ever again. That you are only being nice because you didn't had how to reached out to me in private to talk about it. I just summarized all the things said.

I am really sorry, I didn't thought it was that bad. And I want to thank you for being a really nice person. I also thank the other person for letting me know about it. Once again I apologize 😔

-🌸

Sorry this took so long for me to respond to, I had to sit back and think a lot because hearing that someone said that to you actually made me so mad-

I LOVE READING THE STORY, LET ME SAY THAT FIRST, I GENUINELY ENJOY IT SO MUCH AND I GET SO SO SO EXCITED WHEN YOU SEND ME ASKS CAUSE IT'S SO SO SO FUN TO READ-

I personally LOVE when people send me asks like that, and I think it was a real shitty thing for them to say that to you. I understand why some people may not like it for their own content, but I enjoy it a lot.

You are not being rude at all to me, I promise. I genuinely enjoy reading your fan stories so much!

I'll be honest, I am not a nice person. If I didn't like it or didn't want people to do this sort of thing, I would have never answered your asks. When I get asks I don't like/don't want to answer I delete them (which tbh I don't think is me being an asshole I think it's my right-)

I promise it's not just me being nice, I am not that sort of person lmao-

SORRY IF THIS IS ALL SUCH A CONFUSING RESPONSE I AM JUST GETTING VERY MAD ON YOUR BEHALF BECAUSE EWIJRGIJFREJI I LOVE READING YOUR FAN STORIES AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR!!!

aLSO ANOTHER THING BUT THE FACT THAT IT'S FOR THE SPINOFF COMIC MAKES ME SO SO SO HJAPPY BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A TON OF IDEAS FOR THE SPINOFF AND SEEING THAT I INSPIRED SOMEONE TO WRITE ABOUT IT IS SO FLATTERING AND AMAZING AND MAKES ME SAPPY FEEL GOOD

if the person that said that is reading this, they are in fact an asshole. And it really isn't any of their damn business <33333

TLDR: I DON'T THINK IT'S RUDE AT ALL IT'S ACTUALLY SO SO SO NICE TO GET YOUR FAN STORIES AND THIS PERSON IS AN ASSHOLE FOR TELLING YOU OFF

again sorry if this is very very rambly or whatever I just got like actually so pissed off on flower-anon's behalf while thinking about this-

#also i promise if it takes me a long ime to answer asks #I haven't deleted them #i usually just have some drawing or am thinking about them or am just oo overwhelmed to answer #I've only deleted one or two asks the entire time i've been on tumblr LMAO #just as a PSA for other people who also are waiting on asks #ALSO #if someone has their own fan content that they don't want people writing fics about #that's not my problem #cause this isn't about them <3 #sorry if that's controversial or whatever but I literally love it and appreciate it #i appreciate all of you #sorry the tags are just as long as the post #my b #asks #i love you flower anon <333

[repurposedmeatlocker]

I wonder what it is about Instagram that intimidates me so much. Especially in regards to posting artwork or utilizing any form of interaction on there. The whole site just feels completely exhausting, overstimulating, and not to mention arduous. More and more, I feel less and less good every time I open that app, which kind of sucks because I feel like it is kind of the most obligatory platform in order to stay connected with most people, especially at an industry level, if that makes sense. It just is so unenjoyable to me. Even though I mostly just follow artists whose work I enjoy and support. Am I alone in feeling like instagram just kind of sucks?

#tumblr has its problems but honestly I don't feel half as much dread on here #same with posting art when I do #it is so low pressure #honestly the bad thing for me is spending too much time scrolling on here wasting my time lmao not emotional exhaustion #unless ofc ppl get fixated on the usual unfunny trend #with that said I am not deleting my instagram either I think I am just going to make another account #I want to kind of be more open about my work here and on there but I don't want to do it in a way that is unenjoyable to me #on the edge on whether I will share it rn might keep that on the backburner a bit #sorry about the ramble I just am so frustrated that everything is dependent on social media #on one hand I act like I don't care but maybe I do worry that I don't do enough with my art #squack

[xhanisai]

I do kind of feel a bit spoilt with how the fandom pre-pandemic would share my work easily (fics getting hundreds and even thousands of notes on tumblr and on AO3 immediately and arts getting thousands of notes too). Back then, my work was so eUGH compared to the work I create now which is so much more polished and well thought out.

And now? It’s such a struggle for my art to reach even a hundred notes on this app alone and my fics take a long time to accumulate some attention on ao3. At first I thought it was because my creations have gotten WORSE lol but then I realised it’s been happening to all my friends too online.

Kinda sad tbh.

#delete later #i know that X amount of likes or notes on work doesn't necessarily mean that it's great quality #but i like seeing and knowing that people out there on the internet are enjoying what i put out #and i want more people to see what i can do if that makes sense? #my mentality is a little fucked right now because in the past i created mainly for me and i enjoyed what i did to an extent #but now i'm at that stupid stage where i hate everything i draw and get bored of my own writing and i don't like that #so validation online sort of helps with that mentality to go away #i can't keep up with internet art trends to get the attention on my work that i want that is not a realistic and healthy way of life #and i refuse to touch any salt or negativity in the ml fandom just to get the hivemind to find my work #my most popular work on ao3 is only popular because of lila karma and that makes me so mad because i write 100000x better than that LMAO #but people just wanna see a 14 yr old italian nightmare girl get expelled from school over and over again and i'm just tired af of it #as for art with twitter it's a bit of a russian roulette #you don't know what will be a banger and what won't unless you pay special attention or have a decent following or are always grinding #i don't think my art is for tumblr #i do appreciate the few people who always love and reblog it but i've always known from the start that my art isn't what would be popular #on this hellsite #oh well it is what it is #also don't worry i'm never gonna stop drawing nor am i ever gonna stop writing those two are literally my only outlets of my life #and the only way i can get emotions and feelings out of my body without exploding #and i am still madly in love with ML and will always be obsessed with it #i just miss how the prepandemic fandom would interact with my work and let me know what they thought and all the asks they sent about the #aus i created #it was a good period on this hellsite for me

[syb-la-tortue]

if you see this, you might be a little lost

hello, Syb here, haven’t logged into this account in years, but I’ve noticed this account still get new followers regularly? somehow? how did you even find this place?? XD

my active account on tumblr is SybLaTortue, and yes, it is sadly permanently flagged and I can’t get my cute turtle icon over there and the blog is unsearchable and I have to censor the sexy stuff and it sucks, but I’m not gonna move blog and start posting here unless SybLaTortue gets truly deleted

so like sure, in case of disaster you might find me here, but if you wanna see my art and send me asks on tumblr, SybLaTortue (without the dashes!) is where you’ll find that!

I am also on twitter, where art is posted without censoring (when I post a cropped art on tumblr I’ll always put a link to the twitter mirror) and patreon if you want to support me and see some art months before I post it on here~

#I wonder if twitter being in danger is a reason this blog got a little uptick in new followers #anyway this place was created when my original blog was gone with the original purge back at the end of 2019 #but then it was un-deleted like a month later #it was a big mess and I was pissed at tumblr and took like a whole year off #I didn't stop being mad at it but I learned to deal with it #so I started using my original blog again #but this back-up here was pretty much forgotten #only reason I get reminded of this place is I get new follower emails from this one lmao #but yeah this place is generally inactive pls head to actually active blog #and send me asks over there it's been so quiet since the purge and my break #I still love getting excuses to brainstorm headcanon and go into details about my AUs and stuff #I'll be logging off this blog and going back to SybLaTortue after I hit post so like #if you have question concerning this post don't ask them here I won't answer them here XD #ask or message SybLaTortue if you want answers!

[meashre]

Hey Y'all, for ages I've been meaning to make a new account that is not associated with my actual self, so that's why an otherwise blank blog is following you ❤︎‬❤︎‬❤︎‬❤︎‬❤︎‬

✧˖°( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )°˖✧

#delete later #teenage me shared too much #honestly not a lot #but still too much lmao #mostly I just don't want anyone who I know irl to know this is me #a fairly common sentiment when it comes to tumblr I think

[swordsonnet]

on the off chance anyone on here followed me for my jonmartin fake dating au, currently standing tragically unfinished at 7 out of 8 chapters: i'm still working on the last chapter! i would love to have it up this year, but unfortunately i can't make any promises, because i've started a new medication and the side effects are wreaking havoc on my mind and body. haha isn't chronic illness fun. but rest assured the fic is the beating heart under my floorboards, and i WILL finish it one day

#i feel pretty bad about it because my update schedule has been really inconsistent for the whole fic :/// #and now the final chapter is going to be even more epically delayed than the other ones #should've probably finished the whole thing properly before i started posting it but you live and learn i guess #my chronic illness really messed with my ability to write and i hate it #like the chapter is almost done. under normal circumstances it wouldn't take me long to finish it #but it's like my brain has forgotten how to make words happen. ugh. #i don't want to let people down by making them wait so long for an update #but i also don't want to let them down by giving them a mediocre chapter y'know #if all goes well the new meds might help with both the chronic fatigue *and* the depression which would be an absolute godsend #but ngl. the side effects are rough. and they can apparently last for up to six weeks #and i've only been taking the meds for about 2 1/2 weeks so i've still got a long road ahead of me #i also started my period yesterday which certainly doesn't help lmao #delete later maybe #just needed to vent for a lil bit. and as everyone knows there's no better place to discuss your private business than tumblr dot com

[funkytoesart]

tw for ed talk in the tags so like,,, idk be mindful of that i guess if you happen to read the tags of this post? just need to vent to the void a lil lol

#tried vlogging today #one of those “day/week in the life of an artist/etc etc etc” vlogs #because i love watching studio vlogs but also i wish there were more from webtoon/comic creators so I was like except that like... y'all #it should be illegal for me to point a camera at myself 💀 #Me: I'll do a vlog! #Also Me: forgets I'm ugly as fuck 🤡 #this is why I don't allow people to take my photo lol #anywayyyy decided NOT to vlog bc literally No one wants to see *gestures to myself* any of this lmaoo #Also apparently it's time to double down on that diet 👍 :/ #which is like: I already only eat like around 1200 calories a day or less most of the time wtf am I supposed to do now lmao #Anyway i hate getting reminders that despite having ED I can't lose weight and like... then what the hELL is the USE of having debilitating #eating disorder issues if I can't even lose weight while I'm at it 💀🤡💀🤡💀🤡💀🤡 #Funky's personal tag #please ignore this I'm just venting and don't got no one in my personal real life that won't get annoyed at me if I vent to them irl lol #delete later #lol tumblr is such a bad website it totally fucked the tags on this post lmao

[carlytayjepsen]

am i the only one who didn't like barbie......

#it just felt all over the place to me #as though it was mostly a bunch of deleted scenes stitched together #the story didn't flow #the script was just.... very predictable #with a bunch of random “feminist” things thrown in that felt very tumblr 2014 #and the mum and daughter who like save the day.... they didn't do anything? #we didn't get to know them or their lives at all???? #and the narration didn't work for me that felt very disjointed #and all these clips of the “real world” just didn't mesh for me #i wanted to love it so bad akshdksksjj #i definitely will watch it again #the set was amazing #the costumes were amazing #and i cried sm lmao #just...... yeah #i don't get the praise for it i guess???

[luxraydyne]

pop quiz what breed of childhood trauma borne neuroticism is it called when being condescended to on just the most neutral, limpid, nothing thoughts you express like you’re a little silly child, or “out of your depth”, or woefully misinformed, or just speaking on something you shouldn’t cause fuckin hell you’re doing it *wrong*, and with the most plainly obvious remark too, makes you want to chew on your own arm until you reach bone marrow

#i hate internet discourse i hate internet discourse i loathe online Big Fandom it makes me come out in hives #i'm not stupid. i'm NOT stupid. i know this. i'm not being mean and nasty and bitchy either. just saying shit wrong. #siiigh i don't want to just stop making shit and like speaking. about stuff. on the internet. but like also. why would you? #there are exceptions (who i hope would recognise themselves if not i apologise) but largely i am more miserable #and more self destructive more regularly since stepping out of anonymity and engaging with people online #except animal crossing. like everyone i've interacted with through acnh has been. really Nice tbh. which is nuts lol #the stories you hear are almost universally bad and yet everyone i've chatted with albeit briefly has been so nice #i get anxiety over whether or not some stranger i'm never gonna meet thinks i'm an imbecile or not like how stupid is that? it's ridiculous #my self esteem has somehow gone backwards??? #it don't fuckin matter! proving a relative nobody wrong and keeping her in her place don't matter! i mean it's daft but what's the point #and i know i need to internalise that i KNOW but damn it's hard #i want to just say fuck it and leave. become like a fandom esque zombie or whatever. but i also want autonomy over what i've produced now #unless i just delete all that too ig #but why should i!! #i go through this cycle every month it's like having an extra self-loathing hormone #if you're super attached to something w my username on it just download it for yourself you have my blessing give urself peace of mind lol #in principle i want to ghost and all of a sudden i'm am unperceivable and none of it's my damn problem any more lmao #but then i'm too bullish and prideful and egotistical so i'm like 'bbbut my seven tumblr followers who always like my silly text posts uwu' #i'm the dw in this scenario. the sign says 'just leave you're a nuisance' and i'm looking right at it like 'he he. no <3' #even if just doing what the signs says would definitely go some way to help with not wanting to just perish. or the arm chewing thing. #i just. simply. think. i would like to know. what it is i have done specifically #i know the answer is somewhere between nonexistent and nonsensical like it's not worth thinking about #what i've done is exist in a way that is arbitrarily deemed stupid/distasteful/ugly/deviant/noisy/irriating/etc it's irrelevant #and yet. there is a burning black void of needing to know in me. anon hate get into my dms tell me why you dislike me so #nothing is scarier. is the phraseology #like a game of wackamole with every utterance. is this one gonna get bapped with the hammer of 'you are so wrong'? why? does it matter? #who knows....it is a mystery...... #i matter so little! i have 50 followers! two (2) ppl read the fanfic and thought it was 'aight! i don't matter! i am such a tiny fish! #what is even the point just leave me be no one cares! #i *could* redirect this hysterical existential horror energy into my original work. i *should* do that

[lebrookestore]

wtf.

#i just got?!?!? three hate asks?!?!?! bc im stanning seventeen and they don't want me to?!?!? #i didn't know i was this hated on tumblr lol #pls don't join the fandom WOW i really don't want to if theyre like that :/ #what did i even do lmao #i can bet that if i block even one of those asks all of them will disappear #delete later #brooke rambles

[floweryfandomnerd]

.

#will delete later if I remember to just need to yell into the void #why is my art doing so badly on here lately aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #I thought it was just cause I was drawing for other fandoms and not just shuake #but even my shuake posts are doing so bad compared to how they used to I'm ????? #Like I think my art has gotten better yet it's just getting so little interaction #it is so disheartening like I might as well just stop sharing it idk #I love drawing and wouldn't stop but like if no one even likes it then idk the point in sharing it #and this is just like ugh #self pity but whatever. I want people to like my art enough to actually share it and say something nice about it #also saying this on main instead of my art blog to not guilt anyone ig feel free to ignore this #but it's frustrating #every time I think I'm happy with my art regardless of how well it does my brain likes to remind me that it isn't happy actually #which is so dumb!! cause I DO like my art. I like drawing it! and I like learning things about what I'm drawing too!! #but if something does bad on tumblr then suddenly I don't like it. adhd rsd how I loathe thee #also like my art has been doing better on twitter than tumblr and yet twitter does not offer me the same serotonin as tumblr this is bs #why would 200 notes on tumblr make me happy but I barely care about what I get on twitter as long as it's above 50 #and yet it is twitter giving me the 200 notes wtf #it's not even doing bad on twitter why is my brain beating me up on this I swear to god #if anyone read this thanks for caring ig lmao #but fr like can my brain stop being a bitch about this #the twitter people are liking the art even if tumblr isn't really. chill out #anywayyyyy I have shouted into the void now thank you #I think I should stop drawing and play breath of the wild for a while #it would fix me <3

[eldrichthingy]

.

#tw vent #I'm so fucking tired honestly. the work is literally killing me lmao. it's just.. the past two months have been horrible for me #maybe it's the lack of therapy. maybe it's just that I have almost no free time. maybe it's that I crave human connection but can't find it #and when I do find it. then I feel like I should've have because communication outside of irl acquaintances or family is so much more tiring #to me for some. weird reason. it's just... I'm used to these people. maybe that's why it's so hard. #I feel so guilty also. for leaving s/mblr. it happened accidentally (with tumblr deleting my acc) ofc but I just didn't want to come back #idk why. I don't feel like I should have a blog at all honestly. maybe I shouldn't have in a find place because what's the point. #what's the point if I don't communicate with people here. and it's just... I'm too tired. too scared I guees. to do that. #idk what I think I just. I just wish I could take a break at work. I'm not sure if it'll help but gods it's so exhausting. #I'm glad that tumblr exists and that I'm here though despite for what I said. it's just a safe place where I can feel slightly more alive #and interact with people. with art. yes even if it's just smallest interactions ever. but the thing is.. I feel so tired right now. and #I've been feeling like this for the long time. and I'm even too tired to be here. idk. maybe it's just not for me. #I wish that next year will treat me at least slightly better. just... everything has been feeling so overwhelming idk #eldrich.rambles #delete later

[prettyblondguys]

Am I allowed to be negative on here about stuff for a minute? Pretty please?

I don't really think that things are gonna change for the better/ get better for me at this point tbh

#Like. I know things constantly change and nothing stays the same but I don't really think it'll get much better y'know. #Lik #I get paid 8.50 an hour to fucking wipe 3D glasses off and retrieve golf balls and get covered in gross mystery liquid bc im in charge of - #-- trash and I have to argue with grown ass men about a claw machine not working. #I don't really think that's gonna change and I don't think I'm ever gonna be able to move out of this house or live on my own or anything - #-- like that or start dating or be the type of normal I want. Just a lot of decisions leading up to me being stuck here forever and yeah. #Shit sucks #Tbc I'm NOT fishing for It gets betters or stuff like that. If I could turn comments off for this post I would lol I really appreciate any #-- concern and stuff but I am Okay #I'm still doing everything I'm still going through the motions even tho the motions suck ass. It's just that I'm constantly -- #-- positive and that gets really really hard sometimes lol. Like. My mental health doesn't do well if I'm not forcing myself to be -- #-- disgustingly positive so I am. A lot. But it's HARD and sometimes I just wanna admit that no actually it DOESN'T feel like everything -- #-- is gonna be okay and that I actually do kinda not like my life lol #I'm good I'm fine I'm just bitching and moaning #I . Wrote this last night bc I couldn't sleep but sent it to the drafts of hell lol. Today's gonna be so fun /sarcasm #Besties I'm fine please please please seriously I'm good #Just pretend Tumblr has a Turn comments off feature lmao #Y'all can seriously ignore this #Will probably delete later but what's the point of Tumblr if not to embarrass yourself by oversharing lol

[solnishscrem]

.

#vent #will delete later #sigh the horrors r getting to me #[insert sad word vomit here] #no amount of duct tape will fix this hole #hopefully itll be better by tomorrow #i miss medication #i have some left over n it's tempting but i don't want to dose myself w/o a prescription. that's bad lmao #also the side effects will absolutely wreck me in my current state #oh well #life goes on etc #edit: ok but tumblr asking me if i want to blaze this post is sending me akdhdkhd

[urfavstargirl]

inner man challenge! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

hey babes!! okay, i know i said i was going on break but i got this sudden inspiration and yk i had to make a post!! so this challenge is called the inner man challenge, because it's all about fulfilling your inner man and staying in the wish fulfilled!!

WHAT IS THE GOAL FOR THIS CHALLENGE? ★

making the state of the wish fulfilled your dwelling state

fulfilling your inner man

falling in love with imagination

not caring about the 3d

FIRST STEP! ★

this is crucial! remove the intention of manifesting to be for getting in the 3d!!! "but girl.. the whole point of manifesting is to get it in the 3d" okay yes, if u want to believe that i can't change your mind. but to get it in the 3d we need to be fulfilled, and you can't be in the SOWF if you are still trying to get it! read this if ur still confused <3

me personally i feel like the reason why some people don't get results from methods, challenges etc is because they are doing the method to get it in the 3d, not to feel fulfilled. but thats just me 🤷🏾‍♀️

SECOND STEP! ★

now for the fun part, decide what you want!! df, db, sp, a billion bucks in ur account, being the smartest of ur class, moving out of your paren'ts home, getting into your dream college, literally go wild!!

THIRD STEP! ★

fulfill your inner man when your inner man needs fulfilling! if something bad arises in the 3d that shakes ur confidence, fulfill!

having the urge to look in ur bank account to see if you have a billion bucks? close your eyes, imagine your inner man looking at her bank account and seeing the numbers go up by the second!

one of your family members makes a comment about how ugly you are?? would your inner man care?? NO! bc she's fine asf!

if anything 'bad' happens in the 3d, imagine your inner man saying "uh.. thats cute but i'm living my dream life rn sooo.."

WAIT, IS THERE A SCHEDULE? ★

there's no schedule to this challenge!! no "in the morning say 1409834 affirmations, in the afternoon vaunt for 3 hours, in the night do starfish position and affirm for the void" NO!! literally just fulfill your inner man when ur inner man needs fulfilling!!

"don't force yourself to do a method you don't want to do! don't force yourself to visualize the same scene someone else even though it doesn't create any feeling of knowing inside of you and feels like a chore to you. don't repeat affirmations if you don't want to and don't repeat an aff you don't resonate with. do what you think is fun! and do what feels natural to you! by taking the pressure of being perfect off yourself, it's easier to imagine in order to experience, rather than to get it in your 3d." - @remcycl333

HOW DO I STAY IN THE STATE OF WISH FULFILLED THE ENTIRE DAY? ★

no need to stay in the SOWF the entire day, we are always changing states! for example, right now you're in the state of reading this post, and i am in the state of writing this post. it's all about making the SOWF your dwelling state! so if you accidentally stay in the state of lack 7 times but you are in the SOWF 8 times, then the SOWF is your dwelling state! (btw don't count the times you enter a state lmao)

ANYTHING ELSE? ★

get off tumblr, just delete the app.. like this place is literally just making you overconsume. you have better things to do!

if you have a negative thought don't spiral and think all your progress has gone to waste. breathe in and out, your inner man has it and that's all that matters.

have fun!! this challenge isn't like other challenges (soo quirky i know 😜), it's meant to fulfill you instead of making you stress about the 3d. make fun scenarios in your head, vaunt, just have a good time!!

WHEN you get successes (whatever you consider to be a success: feeling that your inner man is fulfilled, or getting it in the 3d) send it to me or make a post about it using #star's-inner-man-challenge!

if you have any questions let me know in my inbox, bye yall!! 💞

#star's-inner-man-challenge #imagination creates reality #living in the end #loassumption #manifestation #master manifestor #loa #neville goddard #law of assumption #loa affirmations #manifesting #the law of assumption #manifest #spiritual #spirituality #shiftblr #reality shift #things to manifest #shifters #shifting realities #reality shifting #void success story #void state success story #void state #i am state #loa tumblr #loablr #loa blog #manifest your life #manifest your dreams