#and having to endure all that talk about his future on top of that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

atinystaypixie · 3 months

Text

Lesson of Rejection

Summary: You are a princess, and as a princess, you don't take rejection well. When your top guard does reject you, its only natural you teach him a lesson.

WC: 2.5k+

CW: 18+, MDNI!!, gang bang, spit roasting, unimplied unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, especially in these situations), cumming in pants, oral (m&f receiving), bondage, public (ish) setting

Requested by: @princeasimdiya12 thank you for waiting luv!

Nanami is a well respected man. Every subordinate looks up to him, all fellow guards admire his strength, and no one is trusted like him. Your father adores him and is the only man he allows to be close to you.

He is always close to you, watching you, and if you look close enough, admiring you. In the comfort of your room of the large palace, you wear minimal clothing and his eyes will occasionally scan the enticing skin of your body. You are a smart girl, and can clearly sense when a man is interested in you. Especially when the well reserved man is caught with the tips of his ears turning red from helping you undress.

You had stormed to your room in a fit of anger after the meeting with your father and your supposed future husband. The man he introduced to you made your skin crawl. A creepy smile, weird stitches across his forehead, and such a disgusting way of talking down on others. But for some reason, your dad couldn’t stop praising him.

“I mean how could he?! He didn’t even ask if that’s what I wanted! Marry THAT man? That disgusting man? How dare he?!” You exclaim stomping around your room and throwing your jewelry about. He told you to come your best dressed and you took your precious time getting all pretty just to be met with this bullshit.

“Don’t just stand there! Help me get this off!” You directed your anger towards Nanami. He understood you were upset, so he didn’t take offense to you raising your voice at him. Usually the maids would help you with this task, but in your fit of rage you told no one to enter your room and that meant only Nanami would be near you. He always is there with an open ear when you go on tangents.

“He’s just marrying me off like some kind of property! Am I not human?” His callous fingers work the laced up ribbons undone. Your dress slipping off your body leaving your backside completely exposed to him. The panties and bra leaving little skin covered. His mind wanted to be respectful and look away, but his eyes stared longer than what could be considered an accident.

“I will not-,” you stop ranting as you turn around. He’s closer than expected and his eyes are hooded. It’s not for long and he quickly changes back to his professional poker face, but it was long enough for you to catch. He turns his head giving you the view of his ears. You suppress a smile and go back to blowing up about your father. Tonight’s events aren’t even a worry anymore, it’s being exposed and forcing Nanami to stay in close proximity for as long as possible.

For at least ten more minutes, Nanami was forced to endure your nearly bare figure strutting around. Your words go in one ear and out the other. His eyes were doing the best to not land on you, but you were making it difficult by making sure to stay in his line of sight. You finally stop dramatically in front of him. The jiggle of your breasts catch his lowered eyes.

“Nanamins, I refuse to be given to that man. He’s not even my type.” Your voice is lowered and dripping with seduction. A well manicured finger pressing against his firm chest through his clothes. It was fine until you started dragging your finger lower at the end of your sentence.

Any other man would have folded right at that moment, any other man would have gone in for a kiss, but Nanami was not any other man. His hand wraps around your wrist halting your actions.

“Miss. I am afraid you are extremely frustrated. It is best if you get some rest. Have a good night.” He gently releases his grip and turns on his hills. This did not sit easy with you. Yes, you were teasing the man and didn’t truly expect for things to go far, but the fact he completely just rejected and left you? That was not going to fly over well.

Nanami didn’t release the effect his actions had. He didn’t realize the fire pit that being professional and sticking to his duties had thrown him in.

It wasn’t until he found himself in the current predicament that he released just how bad you didn’t like being told no.

He entered the training room with powerful strides as usual. You had ordered a special session and without question he showed up along with the other higher ranked guards. He was informed on the information while having tea with you. You were close to him and would often ask him to drink with you. It wasn’t as if he could truly refuse, he was your personal guard and would have to be in close proximity while following every order anyways.

“Today, I would like to do something different.” Your head held high and you spoke to your guards. Nanami internally raised an eyebrow, his curiosity never playing across his face. He knew something was completely awry when you ordered each of them that this session would be kept from your father. “With this session, I want to practice, how should I say,” you do a humming sound of thought, “rejecting.” A smile etches onto your face. The word spikes Nanami’s attention. He was top guard for a reason and his wit was a part of that reason. Unease wasn’t an emotion he felt often, but after the events of the other night, he couldn’t help but feel as if that night and this session tied together.

“Yuki,” you call to the female guard who acts like more of an assistant than anything to you. “Pass me what I asked you to bring.” There is a silk covering on what appears to be a cart. “Gojo,” this time your attention is directed towards the tall, white-haired guard, “take off your pants.” If his eyes weren’t covered, they would be seen popping wide before relaxing again.

Gojo couldn’t say he quite understood the command, but either way he liked where this was going. It was no secret that most, if not all, the guards had an attraction to you. So if you commanded the man to take his pants off, he would gladly do it for you. He was almost too eager, making you swallow a scoff. Your deviant eyes flicked to Nanami and he was still standing straight and at attention without a noticeable shift in demeanor. He wouldn’t be like that long.

A series of orders were thrown out. The guards moved quickly and swiftly as each had a separate one directed towards them. In all their time of training, in all their time of serving, none of them expected to ever be in this situation.

Gojo and Sukuna stuff you full as Nanami is tied with his hands behind his back. His cock straining against his pants as he watched your pussy wrap around Gojo’s dick and your pretty lips soak in your own spit as Sukuna fucks into your throat. You knew that Nanami was suffering, and suffering badly at that. The tea you had him drink this morning had more than sugar added to it.

“Such a slut, Princess.” Gojo spoke, still pistoning his hips forward aiming to reach the deepest pits of your insides. The squelching of your pussy sounds every time his hips connect to your ass, skin to skin filling the room. At this point your eyes were glazed over and sweat was coating your skin. Any moan you had was immediately caught by Sukuna’s dick, turning into gurgles.

Your ears perk at the deep whine that just graced them. Despite having two cocks filling you, your senses immediately clear and your eyes snap to the blonde haired man. His eyebrows tightly scrunched, chest rising and falling heavily, and a red tint to his cheeks. The moans leaving you turn into a choked laugh.

Sukuna groans when he feels your hand push at his hips, removing him from your mouth. “Nanami, was there something you wanted to say?” Your neat eyebrow raises as your hand wraps around the long dick in front of you, your tongue swirling around the tip as you hold eye contact with the restrained man.

“-ease” his words are breathy and low. His body is in so much need of even the simplest touch that he can barely speak.

“Speak up.”

“Please…please, Miss.” The hips that were once rocking into yours stops, Sukuna’s focus is no longer on your plump lips, and Yuki’s face is showing clear shock. They had never heard Nanami sound so needy, so submissive. Their head guard speaking without the normal command in his voice threw all of them off and they didn’t know what to do. “Please, I need relief,” he begged.

“Hmm…,” a heavy pause weighs in the room, “no. We’re working on rejection, remember? I know you are all too familiar with it.” A smirk plays on your lips as you signal Gojo and Sukuna to get back to work. Their egos boosting from getting to fuck into you while the one man who has infinite access to you suffers.

Your walls squeeze around Gojo making his head fall back and eyes clamp shut, “fuck! Princess, if you keep doing that I won’t be able to hold it.”

You release Sukuna with a pop, “go on. I’m not stopping you,” is all you say before going back to sucking. That’s all he needs to feel his balls tightening and dick twitching. He hurriedly pulls out of you and covers your pussy in his seed. The white substance landing on your puffy clit and pussy lips. He lets out deep moans and grunts as he strokes all of his cum onto your cunt.

Sukuna wasn’t far behind, your mouth was so warm and wet around him and it didn’t help that your hand was stroking the parts of him that you couldn’t fit. Your tongue running over his sensitive tip at just the right times had him in the same position Gojo was in moments ago. His eyes were clamping shut and his lips were parted releasing moans.

“Princess, I am close. Please.” He said in broken breaths. The hum you did around his dick letting him know that he could sent him over the edge. His abdomen clenched as he released his seed on your tongue.

Nanami couldn’t take seeing two men release their seed onto you. He was on the verge of cumming without even being touched. Although his skin was hot and his dick was angrily throbbing, he noticed that you hadn’t come. But he didn’t need to say it, because you were already getting up and walking over to him on shaky legs. You grabbed his chin and made him look up at you.

“Look at you,” you scoffed. “Clean me up.” He felt your fingers grip the locks of his hair and before he can say anything, your cum covered pussy meets his lips. If he was in his right state of mind he would have immediately resisted, but he wasn’t. Your clit hitting his nose and his tongue greeting your used hole had an animalistic moan rising out of his chest. He couldn’t bring himself to care that he had to clear another man's seed to get the full taste of your pussy, his body was in so much need that even sniffing your used cunt was making him spiral more.

“Good fucking boy,” you bit your lip as your eyes stayed focused on him. The view was perfect. Your legs widen and his face directly between them as you humped on his face. He was licking at your cunt like a starved man, his tongue lapping up your slit and catching your clit before pushing back into your hole. Gojo and Sukuna might have just got done using you, but Nanami’s tongue was making your body weak. He was making sure to catch every drop of your juices and the pleasure you were feeling was obvious from the way you were moaning. Your moans making the two already spent men feel their dicks start twitching again.

You felt the coil in your stomach getting ready to pop. Your fingers gripping tighter at the blonde strands between them and your hips bucking with more aggression.

Without warning, you cum in Nanami’s mouth. The taste of your release making his dick immediately spurt cum into his pants. His body was shaking while whimpers and moans fell from his lips. His hand rested against your thigh as he caught his breath.

The laugh you let out as you moved his head from your thigh was condescending. You lower to in front of him and unzip his pants reaching your hand in. “You came in your pants,” you stroke his sensitive dick causing another whine to come from him before pulling your hand back out. “I mean look! You made such a mess and I didn’t even touch your dick!” Another laugh left you, off to the side small chuckles could be heard from Sukuna and Gojo.

Your laughs die down and you lean close to his ear and whisper, “the next time you reject me, I won’t be so nice.” You pull away and wrap your cum covered hand around his chin, “thank Nanami for today’s session. Clean up and continue with the day,” you look at Nanami again, “except you. Stay like this, cum soaked pants and everything for the rest of the day.” You gather a robe off of the cart you ordered Yuki to bring you earlier and exit the room.

In passing later, you see that the guards have all returned to their fixed attires and two especially have wide grins on their face. As Nanami returns to you, you see he has done as you asked. The proof being the clear stain at the front of his pants.

“Miss, I am sorry for rejecting you and I have reflected, but could you please allow me to change so I may look appropriate in appearance.”

Your answer comes quickly and without a bat of the eye, “no. Everyone feels the need to tell me what’s going to happen despite my wishes lately. I don’t like it, so in a start to correcting it, you’ll stay like this until the end of the day.” He didn’t protest or speak further after that, he knew it would only make it worse. In any other situation he would have tried to talk you down, but he had suffered enough embarrassment of the day. Before returning to you, Gojo, Sukuna, and Yuki had their fun mocking him. It wouldn’t be the end of it either because he still had a training session to lead later on in the day.

But Nanami was the head guard for a reason, he was the guard entrusted to be close to you for a reason. He couldn’t be deemed the top guard if he didn’t realize the tea he had with you countless times before tastes different. A small aftertaste and the heating of his blood gave away all he needed to know. The guards may have something to mock him about now, but they won’t be the ones inside of your tight pussy for many nights to come, nor will they be the reason your pending marriage will fail.

✨

Thoughts of a Slutty Virgin ~ 🧚🏾‍♀️

Whew it has been a while! This was requested so long ago and I really am thankful for the patience. I will continue to work on the requests that I have yet to put out. PIXIE'S BACK!

ENJOY! Reblog, like, and comment💜

Pixie's Masterlist

Taglist: @444ghosty @un-lawliet @tophamhat-kyo @nobianna @viisgrave

Wanna join my taglist?

Purple dividers at the top made by me. Pictures used are not mine. Support banner made by @/cafekitsune.

#jjk smut #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk #nanami smut #nanami kento smut #anime smut #gojo smut #gojo saturo smut #sukuna smut #ryomen sukuna smut

497 notes · View notes

ponderingmoonlight · 5 months

Note

Can we get a yuta x fem!reader where he saves reader in Shibuya just in time after not seeing her this whole year?

sounds like a plan to me, let's do it hehe

Yuta saving your ass in Shibuya

Pairing: Yuta x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,7k

Synopsis: You have enough. After fighting for multiple hours in Shibuya, you are the brink of giving up your life, of giving up the pondering about a future with Yuta. Little do you know he's already on his way to Shibuya...

Warnings: language, TW! reader accepts the threat of death (and kinda wants to die), angst but comfort, not fully proofread

„Fuck!“, you cry on top of your lungs, bruised fingertips digging themselves into the debris underneath.

You are so damn tired. Tired of the horrible things you had to endure on this cursed evening, tired of all the senseless fighting, tired of death crawling up your spine. Maybe you just have to realize that your time has come, that you’ll be next. After all those people losing their lives today, it’s finally your turn.

“I’ve done enough”, you mutter to yourself.

The countless creatures in front of you cry out while storming towards you again. The people behind you scream in horror, so scared of dying that it wrenches your heart.

Why? Why do you have to be so damn emotional about this, so wrecked by their helplessness? You shouldn’t bother about their fate at all, should just sit here and await your very own relief in silence.

But instead, you lift yourself back up and draw your sword. Again and again, you slash into their bodies, paint the town around you in purple. Every fiber of your being begs you to stop, to just run away and never return, to sit down and let them slice your head off to end this madness once and for all.

It was definitely easier when he was still around. Yuta Okkotsu, special grade, probably the strongest after Satoru.

And the boy you hopelessly fell in love with until he decided to leave you behind. It’s been a year since you’ve last seen him, a year since you really talked to each other. Damn, how much you wished to see him one more time before you die, to at least tell him about your unwavering feelings. Why the hell are you so attached to him after all this time anyway?

But Yuta Okkotsu isn’t enough. The unsaid words between you two aren’t enough motivation to keep going after you’ve seen Nanami die, after both of Toge’s arms got sliced off, after Sukuna almost killed you.

No. You are so damn tired of it all. Fuck your pathetic life, fuck those people you don’t even know.

“I…I can’t…do…it…anymore”, you huff out.

Like in slow motion, your bloody blades glides out of your weak grip, falling onto the ground with a loud clinking.

This is it. Your final moment on this earth. Maybe that huge curse will bite your head off and let it all end quickly. Hopefully you wake up somewhere nice, maybe at a beach or something. And maybe, just maybe, your brain is able to trick you one last time into thinking that he’s here, that he thought about you as well, that Yuta Okkotsu didn’t forget about your existence.

Just a single moment and it will be over. Just one last breath in this cursed place.

You allow yourself to close your eyes, the desperate cries for help fading into the background. The pain that holds your body, all the horrible things you’ve seen…You smile to yourself gently while sitting down. It’s finally over. Now you’re finally able to rest.

And so you wait in silence for their sharp teeth, for them to finally slice your head off. But something seems off…You furrow your eyebrows. What has gotten into this thing? Is it full already? No, these monsters never get enough. It has to me something else.

“Hey, are you alright?”

You hold your breath, eyes snapping open in an instant. That familiar voice, that white uniform…You glare straight into the stranger’s face.

But no, that isn’t a stranger.

This is Yuta Okkotsu.

“(y/n), is that really you? What were you doing here? That curse could have killed you!”

His words don’t fully reach your ears, cries of the curse who gets eaten alive by Rika ringing in your ears. This can’t be true. He…He wasn’t even on the continent. How did he get here? And why on earth is he standing right in front of you?

Suddenly thick anger rises up your chest. Anger because he your left without really telling you. Anger because he didn’t write or reply to your messages frequently, anger because Yuta never seemed to fully care about you after the year you’ve spent together, after the secret kiss you’ve shared. And now he’s standing in front of you with that single droplet of sweat running down his face, asking what you are doing here.

“You have some fucking nerve”, you hiss through gritted teeth.

You lift your trembling figure off the ground, pushing him backwards with all the strength you have left only to stumble over your worn-out legs.

“You disappear for a whole damn year, never really care about me and then you ask my what I’m doing here!? Do you want to know what I did? I tried to save these people, tried to justify the countless dead jujutsu sorcerers, tried to free Gojo-sensei! What were you doing all this time, why didn’t you even ca-“

With a swift motion, he gets down and wraps his arms around you, cages you against his body. No, you don’t want to be near him, you need to get away, you…

Can’t help but cry.

“Why did you leave me here without saying anything?”, you mutter desperately, fists banging weakly against his chest.

Fuck, why does it have to feel so comforting, why do you have to realize just how much you missed him and the way he holds you? Why does it have to be so damn hard to stay mad at him when all you need right now is a big comforting hug?

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am for all those things. When I heard what happens here in Shibuya, when no one could tell me that you’re safe…On my flight back here I regretted over and over that I didn’t have the guts to tell you how I feel”, he whispers against your bloody ear.

“Please tell me you’re alright, tell me I wasn’t too late”, he begs.

Gently, he lifts up your face, forces you to get lost in his blue eyes. Oh, how badly you want to push him away, tell him to leave this place and let you die. But instead, you just stare at him, watch how he scans your body, your countless injuries.

“How long have you been fighting here alone?”, he mutters.

“4 hours. Maybe a little longer. I lost count some time ago”, you mumble, tired eyes still set on him.

He looks so different from when you last saw him. How is it even possible to turn from a boy to a man in the matter of one year? His chest seems wider, jawline even sharper, eyes clearer than ever before. But what changed the most is the way he carries himself. The man in front of you isn’t insecure and fearful. No, he seems absolutely aware of his immense powers, killing of that grade 1 curse with ease.

“You look shocked.”

“I definitely am. After all, a ghost is talking to me”, you reply dryly.

What hasn’t change is the fact that his eyes seem to be the mirror of his feelings, instantly filling with sorrow by the sound of your harsh tone.

“I didn’t want to leave you behind. But…I had no other choice, (y/n)! I owed it to myself and Riko-“

“Oh, so now it’s Rika and you, huh?”, you bark.

Enough. You stand up faster than expected, shooting back up only to lose balance and falling back into Yuta’s open arms.

“Hey, slow down. You have to be exhausted.”

“Yes. Yes I am fucking exhausted. Exhausted from that senseless fighting, exhausted from hearing your excuses! What was the real reason you just left me in the dark? Was it because of Rika, because you don’t care about me like that? You should have thought about that before you kissed me the night before you went to different continent-“

“Trust me, I thought about you all the time, I loved you all the time, (y/n)! It was just as hard for me as it was to you. The last thing I wanted was to leave after that night, but I had no other choice. It was my only chance to train properly, to get the best of me. If I could, I would have taken you with me straight away. But I couldn’t. And I’ll probably never forgive myself for leaving you alone in this mess, for almost losing you!”

He grabs your face passionately, makes you forget how to breathe. Is this really Yuta Okkotsu talking to you? Is this really Yuta Okkotsu leaning closer, his lips only inches away from yours.

“I loved you through everything, (y/n). And I hope you did as well.”

“Are you serious?”, you breathe out, staring at him in sheer disbelief.

“You were the only thing on my mind all this time. You and…that I never told you that I love you”, you blurt out.

You aren’t even able to turn away from him. In the matter of seconds, his lips are pressed against yours. Just like the last time you’ve seen each other, just like he did at his dorm a year ago. Sparks fly, your heart shivers in sheer excitement. Oh, you’ll definitely not forget that he just left you, that he didn’t message you on a regular basis.

But at the moment, you just close your eyes and let the sensation of his hands caressing your face while his lips brush over yours so tenderly sink in. Just a few minutes ago, you were kneeling on the ground, ready to let yourself get killed here in Shibuya. And now he’s here. The countless nights you pondered when he’ll come back, how he’ll act, how he’ll look.

When reality is so much better.

“I promise that I’ll never leave you again. I’ll make it up to you”, he mumbles against your parted lips.

“I sure hope so.”

Tags: @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0@ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso @gojosrealwife @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi@weebotaku21@chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain @risuola @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez@belovedvamp@wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz @darkstarlight82

374 notes · View notes

psychicdamaged · 2 years

Text

Quotes from EXU Calamity I'll Be Thinking About for the Rest of Time

"Of course I'm safe. You'd never let anything happen to me." / "I would never let anything happen to you."

"Dad. You know I won't look like this when you get home."

There are a lot of stories in Exandria of mortals who stumbled their way into Feywild and fell in love with an enchanting fairy that they met there. But there's one story of a fairy who stumbled into this world and fell in love.

And in that instant realizes you can hold all the knowledge in the world. But if it dies with you, it doesn't matter.

"I promised you I'd never forget." / "I promised you I wouldn't either."

You hear in your heart, "Darling, no."

Do I know? Do I feel it? That he's gone? / You do.

Laerryn's screams fill whatever secret hallway she's in.

"No, baby. I'll always have my eye on you." And I squeeze their hands.

"I don't know how deeply you have sacrificed to do what must be done, but I know this: There is no god that strides this world that I worship more than I worship your heart... I bear your name. I bear it on this stone. And one day, I will bring you home."

In the kiss, I'll cast Cure Wounds on you.

"It's all on you, smart girl."

And I'll just turn my back on the door and let it close. / No! No, you have to go.

"I'm sorry, my lady. I love you, but I love another more" / "My child, my heart breaks. But I would rather mine break and yours be kept whole."

"But our two cities are like a married couple. We may have our differences. But we are connected by love for eternity. We made a promise to each other, and it's one we must fulfill."

"...and remember the Architect Arcane, Laerryn, the most beautiful woman in the world."

"Yes, it's me. Just look at my eyes. Don't look at anything else. Just look at my eyes, please."

I've kept so many of my thoughts and dreams and wishes for him. I hand it to him. I set it on the ground because I don't expect him to actually take it from my hands. "This is for you. Everything you've ever wanted to know about me and your father, it's here."

"Dad, dad, wait. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." "You have nothing to be sorry about." / "I do." You see, you haven't even looked in his hands. He's holding a basket with a spell kite attached.

"I don't know why I didn't send it." / "I know why, and it's okay. It's okay. Elias, I love you from the moment I laid eyes on you. Everything that I wished for you to know about me, it's in this book. Take it with you. You'll always be five years old to me no matter how much you grow."

You know me. I would never have let my guard down like that. I took those blows.

As I go down, I make sure I don’t miss

"I know what you gave. You found a path beyond the stars. I do not know whence the gods came from, but I know that you found it in your heart. I promise you, Zerxus, I will find that place. I will find the secret of how these worlds were made, and I will come and find you and bring you home."

"Yes, brother. All will be well."

"You think we'll ever get there one day?" / "Of course we will. We're the Okiros."

When you think of the future and what people will say of this time, do you think anyone will talk about how beautiful your dream was? / No. But that's all right, because it was real for us. For those who survived, they will remember, and it will inspire them to dream of things far greater.

What are Patia's final thoughts? / Just that there are many more dreams to come.

"I've been able to become anyone I want my whole life, but I just want to be with you."

"And for whatever time we have left, I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you." / "I love you, too." I'll just kiss her.

"The Brass Ring endures. I want you to know you gave us a chance." / I don't think you hear anything back. Just, you feel relief.

The fire, as brightly as it may burn, does not burn so brightly as your love, which shines the brightest in your last moment, having given this world a chance. Ash, heat, rising faster than you can imagine from the earth. And on a 31, at the very top of that cloud, the last member of the Brass Ring gets to keep his promise to his family.

You fly for weeks over oceans choked by ash and soot. You don't get to give your kids the world that they deserve, but you get to give them the world that they can fight for with you.

In Exandria, I don't know that your story will long be known. I don't know who will remain to tell it. But it did happen and it did matter. And though Calamity is here, because of you, it will not be here forever.

5K notes · View notes

autistichalsin · 6 months

Note

Both Karlach and Halsin are buff capable adults with strong morality, but inside THEY ARE KIDS FULL OF JOY TO BE ALIVE IN THE WORLD FULL OF WONDERS as Oak Father Intended

So strong, so fragile, as life itself LET THEM LOVE LET THEM BE

GOD BUT THIS PART.

They're adults, traumatized, with both having experienced the worst the world can offer, having their freedom and autonomy denied to them, socially isolated. Both have the Outlander background. Both lost their families, both are war veterans.

Yet they both are still so full of love and joy. Halsin is unable to show it the way he wants to when we meet him, while Karlach never wavers from it, yet at the end they're both able to show who they are. How they love LIFE itself more than anything, how they're so full of kindness and compassion and love to protect the weak.

Karlach isn't certain she wants kids at first, but Halsin is- yet when you bring the idea up to her, she warms to it at once. She also teases the idea of getting a "really mean goat." You know who loves all life, all animals? Halsin.

If you bring Karlach to the love dryad and are asked where she'll be in 10 years, you can say "worshipping Selune"; Karlach responds that she's nice, but Karlach is more of a sunshine girl herself.

Sunshine.

What is Halsin's quest about again? Bringing something back to a certain cursed land?

... Right. SUNLIGHT. "If the sun shines on this place once more..."

Sunlight is essential for life. Essential for plants to grow. Halsin wants to infuse life and light back into the Shadow-Cursed Lands, and Karlach alludes to the god of sunlight as being perhaps the only one she'd consider becoming a follower of.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? If Karlach asks Halsin for stories, he mentions how while everyone wants the most exciting chapters, he spends plenty of time hibernating in bear form. Karlach gets excited, saying "sleep AND adventure! Maybe I'll come back as a bear in some future life!"

IF THAT ISN'T SYMBOLISM, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS!

Both are protective of those who need it most. Both have a great deal of empathy. Karlach is more childish in many ways than Halsin, but this could help him let his playful side out more, while Halsin's maturity could help ground Karlach when she needs it. Karlach is always raring to go for a good fight, never straying from what needs to be done, while Halsin is more pragmatic and able to understand when a fight will accomplish nothing. They offset each other in so many good ways while retaining the same core personality- warm, loving, full of life and care and compassion.

Both are touch-starved; you can see how Halsin reacts to being hugged in the epilogue, stating that he always needs a hug and if he ever refuses one, to assume he's been replaced by a doppelganger, while Karlach went without for TEN YEARS. Both are socially isolated, Halsin having been made a sex slave, lost his family, endured the Shadow Curse, and then forced into a leadership role, while Karlach lost her family too, was dragged into hell to fight for ten years where none of her "comrades" would have been worth talking to, and now faces a terminal illness on top of that.

In all the party banters in the Shadow-Cursed Lands, it's KARLACH who shows the most concern for Halsin's mental state, who is horrified when he talks about what he witnessed and how it still affects him. A soft "poor man" in one, and a "stay strong, bear man, we're still here" in another. Karlach is able to see that just once, Halsin wants to be soothed the way he does for others. And similarly, it's Halsin to tell her he "will not try to soothe her with gilded words" but that he "is still here" for her when Karlach finally realizes the truth of her impending death, because Halsin can see that in that moment, Karlach doesn't want to be told it'll be okay; she wants to be told that she isn't alone, that her presence, for however short a time it'll linger, will be cherished by those close to her. Instinctively, they understand these needs the other has at their worst, darkest moments.

I just love them a lot, okay?

#halsin #halsin silverbough #karlach #karlach cliffgate #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #furioso

130 notes · View notes

sockysucks · 13 days

Text

HI TUMBLR!!

ive come to create a incredibly lengthy post about the new mascot horror game called Indigo Park

I need to ramble ( haha rambley ) about it as i have just quit twitter for an indefinite time for my own mental health as an autistic cannot last on there at all

anyway, im going to talk about all the reason why indigo park is so good and what i hope from it!! and any criticisms i have for it, i honestly dont have many even though its so early to talk about.

how i found out about indigo park:

UNIQUEGEESE!! naturally, i was watching one of masons past streams on his youtube playing FNF after having rejoined the FNF community after its update and finding out about the mod HIT SINGLE; the mod masons was playing( people know it mostly for the silly billy song ) and he had mentioned about him making a mascot horror game which i shrugged off naturally because i am not a fan of modern mascot horror as most of it seems to be low effort and genuinely unappealing, i knew he had made something that was definitely made with love but i didnt have the will to check it out until a announcement trailer dropped which i then saw snippets of the game and the characters and environment, which i was definitely intrigued so I played the game myself.

My thoughts playing the game:

and found it surpisingly good compared to any other mascot horror game, it was unique, genuinely had awesome character designs and very high quality’s graphics and beautiful models and lighting were stunning, again really surprised having endured the hideousness of other low quality mascot horror games, to then find a game with fucking great models ( unlike banban, 2 billion polygon remote or whatever lmfao ).

I started the game and to be real as a extremely gay furry who loves little silly furry boys i felt like i was gonna explode during every single rambley voice line and animation played and fell so in love with him, now a massive comfort character and ive draw. him like 12 times prior to the games first chapter being released like 2 days ago lol, ive never gotten so attached so quicky in my life which definitely makes rambley and indigo park a really special game.

I really love this game, the pacing is really well done, the horror isnt low quality, the like actual character models for lloyd and molly are really gorgeous, i just think the hair and some of the texturing is over done slightly, but definitely made me shit myself multiple times despite this, all while i was laughing with my new silly raccoon boyfriend 💜💜💜💜

hugeeeeww shoutout to team neutron for the the absolute gorgeous expressive rambley screen animations and the credits theme that left me almost tbe same way portal 2’s credits effected me the first time i ever played and definitely huge huge props to otterboyva for the super adorable voice of rambley.

what do I hope for the future of Indigo Park

I hope for the future of this game that content farms and bootleggers disregard it, but this doesnt give me hope seeing that one rambley plush that a company made before the first chapter even released that was completely unlicensed. I will be avoiding social media in efforts to not see people start shitting on this game if it becomes on the same level and milked by content farms like what happened to the amazing digital circus ( i watched this on the day the pilot released, and was equally devastated as many others to see it being used as low effort bait in shitty kids cartoons on youtube shorts )

in case you didnt see i did a little animation at the top of this!! very rough but yeah

I love tgis game PLEASEEEE i cannot wait to see more high quality content from this really passionate creative team uniquegeese/mason has formed

in case you wanted to play it for yourself, heres a link to the steam page!! the first chapter is free and a kickstarter started a couple days ago has been completed funded so…. CHAPTER 2 IS CONFIRMED!!

#indigo park #rambley the raccoon #indigo park rambley #good mascot horror

52 notes · View notes

wild-dagon · 9 months

Text

I’ve been thinking about the totk spirit dragon AU and I have some more thoughts about the champions.

When their spirits first come back in the past of course Link is over whelmed and there is a cute reunion but there’s a bigger roll at play.

With them Link is a walking mini battalion five warriors all of different races and all at the top of their skills. And they have to travel together. This makes Link Ganondorf number one problem. But we will get there in a second.

Once Link is at the castle and getting to know Rauru, Sonia and Mineru he starts learning about his powers.

I think the first time he summons the champions he tries to keep them with him for as long as possible and ends up passing out from exhaustion. He’s not used to using these powers. To Rauru and Sonia they are walking this strange boy and his four spirit guards to the castle and the next to boy is dropping to the ground. The spirits reach for him but dissipate as he goes down.

When he wakes in the castle he immediately looks around for the champions. Mineru and Sonia have to talk him down and explain that he has to practice his powers.

Through out his stay with them Link starts to master his new abilities able to keep the champions around for longer and longer periods. Keeping all four out is draining but keeping one out becomes a healthy exercise. The champions take turns being with Link. The don’t want to leave him alone in this new world they have all found themselves in. And while they would all prefer to be out they don’t want to make Link pass out again. If he passes out no one can watch over him.

Slowly he learns how to make the champions physical. It takes a lot of training with Mineru and Sonia. (She might not share his powers but she is to much of a mom not to be around encouraging him)

When Ganondorf launches his first attack on the kingdom Link is able to not only change his spirit powers to Rauru but also the powers of the champions which is what leads to Rauru’s light blast being so powerful.

After the first attack and Ganondorf swearing “loyalty” to the king Rauru knows he needs to talk to the leaders of the other races. He gathers the future sages and asks them to train with Link. At first this confuses the future sages. How would they train a hylian in the ways of their people? Until Link release the champion.

I think this would happen one at a time. Link would go to train with the Rito sage (I’m going to call them Medoh) and at first Medoh is super confused why the king sent this little hylian to train with him. He’s also a little offended think that the king believes anyone can achieve the Rito’s command over the wind. Until Link summons Revali. There has never been a bigger ego contest in the history of hyrule then champion Revali (who taught himself mastery of the winds) and Medoh great warrior future sage and control of the winds through birth right. Eventually they realize they have a lot to learn from each other. Revali gains better to control of the winds and Medoh learns archery techniques from Revali.

They go until Link can’t keep the connection up and Revali’s now drops from his hand as he is nothing more then a spirit now. (They have been at it from dawn to dusk Link is exhausted) He flys back down to Link and tells Medoh they will pick up another day before waving over whatever guards Rauru sent along to help Link return to where they are staying (a roost in Rito village, a stable, or the castle itself.

As the leave Medoh realizes what this was. It wasn’t just training for him and the spirit Rito. It was training to see how long Link can hold his projections. Every move Revali made every time he used his powers drained Link. They were training Link’s endurance.

With each training Link becomes stronger.

He meets with the Gordon sage (we’ll call them Rudania) at first Rudania is conserved for this little hylian and how he’s suppose to train him. Then Link arrives waves in creating and without a word summons Daruk. It is the Broiest Bros to ever Bro. Rudania and Daruk get along like a house on fire. (The might also accidentally set a house on fire) they are having a great time. Rudania learns Daruk’s shielding ability and Daruk gains some skill is creating fire. They walk everywhere instead of rolling because Daruk wants to carry Link up on his shoulder. He knows how hard the kid is working to bring them back and doesn’t want to over work his friend again.

Eventually they have to stop. Link can only take so much but it’s been hours but Daruk knows link needs to rest especially when he starts flickering in and out of existence. He wishes he had noticed Link’s exhaustion sooner.

Training with the Zora is different the Zora sage (Ruta) is a master of combat abilities when it comes to water. Far more so then Mipha or Sidon. Yet she has very little skill in healing. When link arrives Ruta assumed that this would be straight combat training, when Link arrives and summons Mipha she is stunned. They explain it’s actually Mipha that Ruta will be training with.

The two Zora’s start their combat training. Mipha is holding her own in the beginning but it is getting progressively harder to block the other zora’s aggressive strikes. Ruta is frustrated. She was told she would be trading the little prince. The people of hyrule had watched Sonia’s young ‘cousin’ arrive from no where and instantly get adopted by not just the royal couple but also the king’s sister. Ruta thought she would finally see what was so impressive about their new prince. And in away she had. He somehow had a Zora spirit tied to him. How is that possible? Why would a young Zora like Mipha tie her soul to this hylian after her passing. The whole situation is weird and Ruta wants to know what this Hylian can really do.

So on her next attack on Mipha she fakes striking from the left only to jet herself to the right. She uses the water to launch herself at Link. She knows she caught him unprepared so this should be and easy hit. She wasn’t going to kill him. Just knock him down. But Link’s sword is out faster then she can blink and blocking her strike. Well almost she nicks his arm. The guards watching over this start to rush over but Link calls them off. The attack wasn’t meant to kill him.

Mipha rushes over to join them and Ruta gets ya ask her questions about the two of them. The explain as best they can. They grew up together. Mipha lost her life to a dark creature. Link had freed her spirit and she had stayed with him ever since. Ruta still doesn’t get it until she sees Mipha healing Link’s arm. Zora healing magic is special and normally fueled by love. No matter what kind of love there is between the two Mipha cares for Link dearly.

The continue their training Mipha learning combat skills from Ruta and Ruta learning some healing tricks from Mipha. They do have to stop earlier then the others. Link wasted energy fighting Ruta so their first training was cut short.

When the ides of training with the future sages came up Urbosa was hesitant. She asked that training with the gerudos be delayed as she wished to observe them more. Rauru agrees with her. They had to be carful of who they picked to train with Urbosa. And Urbosa knows just how loyal her people are to their chief.

It isn’t until the future sage (naboris) reach’s out to King Rauru that Urbosa decides to meet with her. King Rauru invites Naboris to come and meet him at the castle. Link is with him when she arrives. The conversation is stilted at first, Naboris knows her chief is in the wrong but how does she communicate that to the king? Can the king be trusted?

After dancing around the topic for a while Urbosa finally appears. She had been listening the whole time but was waiting until the right time to step forward. She understands the tough spot Naboris is in. But they need to stand against Ganondorf. Once she makes this decision there can be no wavering.

The two Gerudo women get along well after that. Training is an even back and forth. Both women are equally skilled with weapons and lighting and just push each other to further mastery. Urbosa also help Naboris plan for what is to come next. After Ganondorf is gone someone has to lead the Gerudo people, she is helping Naboris plan for that future.

The champions and sages train together many times each time strengthening themselves while also building up Link’s power.

Link has grown a lot. He trains with Mineru, Sonia, and Rauru, as well as the training with the sages. Pretty soon he can keep on champion in a corporal form all day with out a struggle, then two. He could also summon all four in a battle but if he substantiated a serious injury then his powers would falter.

Rauru trust Link. Not only because of his skill but his willingness to help everyone around him. His compassion and service to the people is obvious. He can also tell that Link is used to protecting and guarding people. When Ganondorf arrived at the castle Rauru asked Link a favor. Rauru and Mineru were close to untouchable but Sonia and Link were not. Rauru asked Link to watch over Sonia. Partially to protect his wife but also to protect Link. If the two were ever attacked he hoped that Link, Sonia and the champions could handle what ever it was until he arrived.

Which leads us to Ganondorf’s attack on Sonia.

#dragon link #zelda totk role reversal au #urbosa #revali #revalink #princess mipha #miphlink #daruk #king rauru #totk sonia #mineru #spirit dragon au

225 notes · View notes

onestepbackwards · 1 month

Note

saw the anon ask about what were to happen if the self-aware pla ancestors left their own documentations of the player and passing it down to their predecessors and it was so cool that i wanted to conjure some what-if scenarios if rowan and cyrus DID end up meeting the player.

rowan is pretty ecstatic to meet you, as you could've imagined. a person with such abilities and trainer capability is a sight that is rare to behold outside of high ranking trainers and whatnot, so it's fair to say he's excited. while he could somewhat understand why kamado believed you to be some devil in disguise back then, you didn't even seem to harbor a singular ill intent within you.

cyrus on the other hand.. yeah, he's something else. when he finally pieces together just what and where you are, his perfect plan is in motion. a person with such abilities and knowledge like no other, and with access to pokemon with earth shattering properties.. his interest is piqued. as the plotline progresses all the way to mt. coronet's top, cyrus gathers dialga and palkia to do his usual bargain. but this time, he has a different goal in mind.

He is going to use you to create his perfect universe for him. And those of compassionate spirit who will try to stop you will cease to exist. While cyrus's ramblings and prophecies are complete lunacy filled with sadness and desperation, you can't help but feel a bit tempted to help him. Who could blame you? If such power could be at your access, would you not utilize it for your own desires? Maybe kamado was right about you.

Oooh Imagine Rowan becomes increadibly protective.

He sees you for the first time, and its when you first become a trainer, and it clicks.

You are younger than the hardened, fierce, 'devil' trainer his ancestor spoke about. In this moment, as you and your friend apologize for using the starter pokemon without permission, he recognizes you.

The two of you are nothing but bright-eyed, bushy tailed trainers, but he sees it. That spark that all strong trainers have. That spark that no doubt would become that fierce, determined, fiery expression that his ancestor was very wary of.

Of course, after meeting you, he immediately realizes the odd talk in his ancestor's journals must have been paranoid nonsense. You are a talented trainer who is very good with pokemon, but to Kamado, it must have been something unheard of. Especially after the horrible things his ancestor endured before creating Jubilife village.

He decides to root for you both, and to support you as much as he can. You'll definitely need it if you are the exact same trainer from the future that was sent to Kamado's era. Rowan couldn't even imagine being in your shoes, especially after reading how cold most the village will treat you.

Cyrus though definitely changes his plans around the idea of meeting you.

Someone who could strong-arm gods after losing everything. A trainer who was strong, yet compassionate. Someone who didn't give up, and saved the world despite facing the end.

If you really were from his time, he wanted you on his side.

Sure, he didn't care much for pesky feelings, but he would be a fool to ignore the power of them after what he had read about you. How you used your bonds with pokemon to defeat gods and catch them, all in an era where that was primarily unheard of if you weren't from the local clans.

All it would take is a bit of fibbing, and he is sure he can sway you to his side. Surely, you'll believe that creating a new universe is the perfect plan, no?

No more suffering, no more hardships. No one would ever have to suffer ever again. And you'd have anything you wanted at your finger tips.

Won't you hear him out?

#streamer au #pokemon streamer au #cyrus #galactic boss cyrus #professor rowan #ask #anon #zed.talks #long post

33 notes · View notes

madwomansapologist · 1 year

Text

Scoring Points (In their hearts)

synopsis: Led by your brother, your crew decided to play the King of Clubs game. Arisu might be certain that the best he can do is understand this land, but you are determined to make sure he will survive. Whatever it takes.

warnings: Niragi is his own warning, but the things I gonna make him suffer also deserves some warnings. Hands will be lost. Nudity. Its a aib oneshot, we gonna talk about death and blood and violence and all those bad things. One person will die, only one, try to guess who. Power of friendship. Karube and Chota will be mentioned. Eldest sister worried about younger brother. Younger brother worried about eldest sister. Canon divergent. I love Goken, and I like to represent him as a excited puppy. Happy ending, I promisse. This was supossed to be about Kyuma, but I love the whole team so...

It was a silent trip. Half of you wanted to say something, but the other wouldn’t endure to listen to someone pretending to have a response. So you kept your mouth shut. It was enough to deal with your conscience already.

You thought that nothing would ever be harder than the Ten of Hearts, but the only reason for you to be alive now is luck. None of you knew what to expect now. That game simply started. No names, no rules, no cell phones. If it wasn’t for Ann having a car, or for Kuina to find a safe building y’all could hide in, you would have been shot by the King of Spades. Not even Arisu can save you from a bullet.

Arise led your crew to a new game arguing that it was the only way to finally discover what was happening on this hell land. You told him that you think this is some kind of country, but he said that Hatter ideas clung into your mind. Usagi didn’t believe that knowing what's happening would make that big of a difference, but the majority won.

After all, no one really had a choice. This sick world is ruled by a simple statement: or you play, or you die.

“This is…” Tatta stumbled over the words. “Giant.”

It was the biggest arena you saw since you started playing. It was a harbor filled with shipping containers stacked on top of each other until they were tall enough to block the view of what was inside of it. You could smell the salty aroma, but you couldn’t see the ocean.

“It says we need six players” Kuina read the board on the table with electronic bracelets.

Usagi was quick to add: “But there’s only five.”

And with just a second to imagine what was happening, all questions were answered by two coarse words. “Six, actually.”

And suddenly all the fear of the future turned into anger.

The world really isn’t fair. If it was, Karube and Chota would be with you both, laughing and drinking and gossiping about anything that moves. It it was, anyone who ever thought about touching a woman without her permission would be fucking dead. If the world was fair, Niragi wouldn’t be standing there.

Just like Kuina, your first action was to go to another place. Just get back in the car and let him rot. That was your brain talking, because your true will was to punch him until he couldn’t even open his eyes. Punish him for what he did to Usagi. For what he did to your brother. For what he did to you.

When you three were used by Chishiya, Niragi made sure that y’all would suffer. He beat your brother, and almost… He said he would have his way with Usagi and take you next. You think it's kind of ironic that what saved you both were the warning of a new game.

But when Usagi took the bracelet, you knew that you had no choice but to play with him. She saved you and your brother after the death of your friends, you could never abandon her.

“Don’t look at me like that”, Niragi said as he got closer to you. “I know you missed me.”

You took a step forward. Tatta held your hand. You broke free from him and kept walking until you were facing Nigari. You could smell the rotten flesh. Good. Now he is as rotten on the outside as he is on the inside.

“If you don’t play right, if you don’t help us win”, you smirk. “I kill you myself.”

Niragi licked his upper lip. “You're not the first to say that.”

“But I will be the last.”

With your bracelet on, the gates opened. “Registration is now closed. The game will now commence.”

Walking inside, you realized how big that arena was. It took a full minute to walk past the corridor. And now, able to look inside it, you knew it was some kind of a labyrinth. A giant labyrinth, made with shipping containers.

“What is this place?” Tatta asked.

“The King of Club’s team is now entering the field”, said the announcer, almost like she heard Tatta. And the voice was replaced with rock.

Each from a different side of the labyrinth, four people paraded to the center. And, well, they were cool as fuck. And because of that, you knew it would be harder than you can imagine. Every single calm and centered person that you meet on this land showed you what hell looks like.

“Welcome to our game field”, looking at those four people, you didn’t see the man talking. Until you did. “I am the King of Clubs, Kyuma.”

And he was fucking naked.

Looking at a dead body was less embarrassing than that. You and Kuina looked at one another, trying to make sure that you both didn’t go crazy and started imagining naked people. But if you were to go crazy, it would have happened sooner.

“Okay, let me introduce everyone”, said the naked man. “First we have Shitara.” A hairy man raised his arm.

“Uta.” And she was the coolest woman you have ever seen. In your old life, someone like her would make you blush.

“Maki.”’ He was just a normal average man. Meh.

“Goken.” And he was, for sure, the crazy one. A naked man was right in front of you, but that guy… you could sense the craziness.

“Pleasure.” Silence. “That's all the reaction I get?”

“I think you are weirding them out.” Uta seemed annoyed.

Shitara rested his hands on his thin waist. You were sure it wasn’t the first time they had this conversation. “Put some damn pants on.”

“What? Not a chance! Nudism is an upstanding practice. A social movement with hundreds of years of history! Clothing is a social construct. No biological necessity. Humans should be bare and raw. After all, it's only natural.”

He wasn’t shy. And, well, he didn’t have a reason to be. His body… Don’t get distracted. Don’t look down. Don’t look down.

“Listen, we don’t care about that” Arisu started, annoyance clear in his voice. You hold his hand, trying to stop him from pissing someone off. “Just tell us who you are.”

“Who are we?” The naked men glared at your brother. “We are the citizens of this country.”

You couldn’t help yourself from laughing. You tried to cover your face, but it didn’t make a difference.

“What's so funny?” Goken asked.

“Nothing.” You responded to him, running your fingers through your hair. Looking at Arisu, your smile went bigger. “I told you so.”

Goken and Uta made eye contact. She nodded with her head, and Goken got excited by that. They agreed: you have potential. Maybe your team can finally give them what they are looking for.

Looking at you, not that you have noticed that, Kyuma explained that his team created that game. Shitara was the brain of the project. Six against five. It still looked like your team was at a disadvantage. There were a lot of rules, but they weren't that complicated.

The game lasts two hours;

Both teams try to collect points;

The team with the highest total at the end of the games wins;

Each team begins with 10,000 points;

Players divide these points among themselves before the game begin;

The minimum amount is 100 points;

You can score points by battle, items and base;

You can pair up with a teammate;

Wristbands can give you an electric shock;

Point below zero: game over;

A tie is a win for the King of Club's team.

“So… it's a huge gamble.” You said to yourself. You started to stretch in the way Usagi taught you. How you wish it was a game where you could sit all the time. You are the best in Diamonds, your weakness is those games that demands a lot of physicality. “In a huge arena.”

“You now know all the rules”, Kyuma said. You used all your energy to look at his eyes. “Let the game begin.”

Arisu asked about coming back to the real world, but Kyuma clearly disagreed with the definition of real. “We want the truth”, you said. “Real or not, the truth.”

“You want the truth?” Kyuma repeated. “Face me with everything you have.”

“All right, then.” You caressed Arisu’s shoulder and gave Kyuma your brightest smile. “We’ll play your game.”

“What are you doing?” Arisu whispered when the other team was gone. “Why are you so confident?”

“All will be determined by how we chose to distribute our points.” You whispered back. Nigari was the last person you wanted to hear your strategies. “This is a math game. Play it right, be fast, and we can win. We faced harder games, didn’t we?”

“We didn’t. We literally didn’t. That's the whole point.”

A discussion about how your team should split the points started. Split in equal ways is fucking dumb, no one with working brains would do that, but how else should it be done? Of course Arisu knew what to do.

The faster runners get fewer points. Usagi and Kuina have 300 each. Slower runners get more. Arisu, Niragi and you have 3100 each. And the guard gets the least points possible. Tatta has only 100, but he can touch the base anytime he wants to get infinite points.

“You like me that much, uh?” Nigari asked to Usagi. Running in the labyrinth, you imagined how amazing your life would be if Nigari was mute. “You chose to pair up with me.”

“It's because I won’t care if you die in front of me.”

Laughing, he looked at you. “And you?”

“It’s because of her."

And almost without noticing, you three faced Maki. Together, you three have 6500. No way he can have more than that. With Niragi between you two, Maki did what anyone would do: he ran.

Kuina and Arisu were trying to find items.

“Okay, what's happening between you and Usagi? Or between you and your sister? Why did you let them pair with Nigari?”

“Nothing.” Arisu answered, but he wasn’t convincing. “Strategy. Usagi asked to pair her with him, and my sister… Well, she didn’t ask anything, she just did it. I don’t know. I think she is trying to protect Usagi.”

“Or to kill Niragi.” Kuina completed.

“She never killed anyone.” Arisu opened a shipping container. “She was always the kinder of us. My older brother is the brain, I am the useless, and she is the heart. She would never kill anyone.”

“A item!” Kuina screamed. “We did it”

With another 2000 points, they closed the shipping container. And Kyuma was there to congrat them. “I couldn’t help but overhear. Sounds like there is an issue. You are fighting with two of your teammates.”

As Kyuma stepped forward, Arisu and Kuina stepped back. “I learned something about being a leader. You can’t push people into following you for no reason. You have to be ready to listen to them. Wait for them to come to you.” Arisu couldn’t understand why Kyuma was advising him. “Now, let's go. Let’s not end our lives with regret.”

So they battle. And Kyuma lost.

Of course you couldn’t just find an item. Trying to put up with Niragi, even a second lasted more than a year. But when Usagi saw Goken, a guy that totally looked like someone that should be in a band and probably would be the first to be kick-out because of drug abuse, every second started to matter.

Usagi attracted him, running towards the corner where you and Niragi were hidden. You almost touched him, but he was really fast. Here's the first thing you learned about Usagi: no one is faster than her.

“I was expecting more from you”, you said after receiving his points.

Goken got closer to you. You could even sense his breath. He looked at you from head to toe, a smirk appeared on his face. “You are definitely reaching my expectations.”

"What do you mean by that?" You took a step forward. You didn't touch him, a eletric shock is not on your wishlist, but got your face close enough.

“You two gonna flirt?” Usagi stared at you, hands on her waist. “Now? Really?”

The screen announced more points to your team. Kuina just touched Maki on the other side of the arena. You glared at Goken. “We don’t have time for that.”

Goken was already running. "Maybe later!"

Gathered at the base, your team had a lot of motives to celebrate. But the other team… Well, you know what they say about people that lose everything: now they have nothing to lose.

“What do you think about them?” Uta asked. After all, she was the one that didn’t have a chance to interact with the players.

“They have potential”, said Maki. “Most of them.”

“I will keep my eyes on Arisu’s sister”, Goken couldn’t stop moving. “Gonna do it for the gang, obviously.”

“Oh, shut up already!” Shitara rolled his eyes. “We have to go now.”

Tatta was alone when they came. And he touched the base when he had to make a decision. And when he felt his hand against someone's chest, Tatta wished he would wake up from a nightmare. He would be on his bed, alone, safe and sound.

But he wasn't.

“You picked me?” Shitara stepped back. “You better use this to win. If I die in vain, I’m… I’m gonna beat the shit out of you in the afterlife, man.”

Tatta was staring at the man, looking in the eyes of the man he just killed, unable to move. He killed him. Tatta killed him. Tatta killed someone.

“You were my good friend." Kyuma always sound so happy, but now... "I’ll never forget what you did for us.”

Shitara roamed to one of the exits of the labyrinth. He was confused, barely capable of walking. "Let me at least die with some privacy." After he turned into a corner, hidden from everyones gaze, Tatta saw a laser.

Any sign of faith, any hope, dissapeared now. Dead. The crew was fucking dead. By the end of the game, if they don't find a way to save themselfs, they would be dead. 30,000 points. Thats not something easy to beat.

"Couldn't even guard one pole, right?" Nigari spat. He slapped Tatta's head. "Fucking useless. Trash is always gonna be trash. You piece of shit."

"Lay off of him!" Usagi demanded. "He did the best he could."

"We underestimated them." Arisu said. Tatta noticed how he didn't defended him. But he didn't deserve to be defended. He is the reason why his team will die. "They are prepared to die."

"So what do we do now?" Kuina were sitting beside Tatta. He didn't say a word for quite some time, she was starting to get worried about him. "We just have one hour."

"I think that", you interfered. "We should attack their base."

"They gonna be defending it."

"Nigari is right." Arisu made his choice. "Lets split up again. Items are key"

"I really think we should..." But no one listened to you. They were already running. If four people attack their base they won't be able to defend themselfs, but clearly Arisu didn't think that. You don't blame the others. Arisu usually is the one that knows how to win. You looked at Tatta. He was so quiet, it was like he wasn't even there. "It's not your fault."

"It is." He finally said something. "I am the one to blame."

You knelt down in front of him. Holding his hands in yours, stroking the scars he gained as a mechanic, you smiled. "Is it a Diamonds game?"

"What?"

"Or a Hearts game? Spades? You ain't gonna tell me they added one cart suit when I was distracted? God, I hope they didn't. I don't have time for that."

"What are you even talking about?" Tatta couldn't help but laugh. "You sound crazy."

"This is a Clubs game, right?" Tatta agreed. "So you can't be the one to blame. This is a team game. We should work together, win together, lose together. The last time I checked you didn't have five arms so you could kill anyone that comes near while touching the base. You did your best. We, as a team, failed to understand how far they can go. Now we have to fight back. Will you fight with me?"

Tatta tried to stop it, but a tear fell. He closed his eyes, nodding in agreement, and was surprised to feel you thumb brush his cheek. "Then lets fight with our lives. I will go now, but I will come back."

Shitara felt a shiver go up his spine. On top of one of the containers, hidden and forbidden to interfere in the game, he watched your team discuss and decide on a strategy. He also saw how they treated the boy who 'killed' him. He almost felt sorry. And he saw when you knelt next to Tatta, your confused words soon turned into something that completely changed how the boy behaved. You saw him, you realized he wasn't well, and you decided to help him.

He was starting to see what Goken saw on you. Maybe, just maybe, this is their last game. Shitara hope he is right.

But your pretty words couldn't change reality: your team was losing. Kuina lose to Maki. Arisu lose to Kyuma. Someone from your team found a item, and you found one after a few minutes, but it wasn't enough.

Running in the labyrinth, already lost, a scream got your ears. You stopped, but then you realized. You heard that before. "Usagi."

You ran in the direction of the sound, only to find Niragi on top of Usagi.

All you could see was black. It was like when you wake you from a dream you can't really remember. From a deep nightmare that eat you whole. When the colors finally came back, it was all red.

"Stop!" Usagi kept screaming. But she wasn't mad. You know her for a long time. She is worried. She is scared. She is hurt. But she isn't mad. "He is done! He is done."

You were on top of Niragi. He wasn't awake. Your hands... You started crying when you saw all that blood. Niragi was already done after the fire, but now you can't even see his face. His chest was moving, but he wasn't awake. Nigari finally shut his fucking mouth.

You look at her. Her head was bleeding. "Are you..." Your tears fought with your words, and they win. Usagi hugged you, and you could feel your body melting against her warm skin. "Are you okay?"

Usagi used all of her forces to give you a smile. Carressing your hands, getting blood into hers, she keep on nodding with her head. Her body was so warm you could fell sleep on her. "I am fine. I am safe."

Looking at you hands, glaring at the blood, something change. Usagi know that face. She saw it on your brother once a day. Its the face of someone hopeless finding a reason to fight. You had an idea.

Fifteen minutes later, you finally found someone. Watching the ocean, Kyuma didn't bother to look at you. "You'll lose." He warned you.

You nodded with your heard. "I know."

"Then go."

"That's the first game I know I won't win." Looking at the ocean, you realized why the game was happening there. It was beautiful. What a landscape. In another situation that place would be a paradise on Earth. "Even the King of Spades wasn't so difficult."

"Thank you. It took us a lot of effort."

"I didn't knew you were a liar."

Kyuma finally looked at you. "What did you call me?"

"A liar." You took a step forward, Kyuma didn't move. "You told us to fight with everything we have. You told us to not have regrets. Here am I, fighting with everything I have, and you refuse to take me seriously. Liar."

Within a seconds, Kyuma hold your hand into his. "As you wish."

But he lose. And the look on his face... you would never be able to make enough money to pay for it.

"How can you..." Kyuma couldn't look away from his hand. "Did you cheat? How did you...?"

You took your left hand out of your pocket, and between your fingers was the bracelet that once belong to Nigari. And it was covered in blood.

"Are you..." Kyuma couldn't look away from the bracelet. "You are insane."

Still holding his hand, you pulled him closer. "You said that we should use everything we got. Thank you, Kyuma. You offered me suck a pleasurable game. None could compare." You were serious, but needed to laugh. "I got this whole 'clothes are a social construction', but you don't know how pockets work?"

Before he could say anything, you ran away. You only have more 30 minutes. You loved the look on his face, but you needed to find your crew.

"You did what?" Arisu yelled. He was holding you on his arms, trying to clean the blood on your wrist with his shirt.

"You heard her", Usagi replied. "She won a battle. And we both found a item. We can win."

"We just need to touch their base", you said, hopping this time he would hear you. "If three people touch it, we won. Thats all we need."

"Lets do it." Kuina was ready to run.

"No."

"Arisu, we need to..."

"I won't sacrifice anyone here. We won't just run into their base and let someone die. Everyone will survive."

"Then do something!" You yelled at him. "If we do nothing all of us will die! We can't just sit down and shut up!"

"I don't know!", Arisu felt like his head was about to explode. When he touched the base, he realized something. "Someone didn't touch the pole?"

"I didn't", you moved to touch it, but he hold your hand. "Did I broke a rule?"

"I know what we have to do! But... I don't know if it will work. We just need a distraction. Something that would be impossible to look away. They are four but if it work..."

"Stop whispering to yourself!", Tatta yelled. You never saw him screaming to anyone. "We have 15 minutes left. Just explain your plan!"

When Arisu explained, everything was clear as day to you. "Am I the only one who didn't touch the base?"

"You were so excited to talk about your battle with Kyuma that you forgot", Usagi told you. "That means you gonna be the distraction, right?"

"Exactly." Arisu wasn't sure if it would work, but he wouldn't die with regrets. "You think you can do that?"

"I think I know exactly what I have to do."

At the other teams base, they couldn't stop talking about how you broke someones arm to took the bracelet out of it.

"Thats weird for her." Uta was standing against the pole. "She never harmed someone on her other games."

"I said that before but no one believed me", Goken said while running around. "She have so much rage inside her. She just needed a reason to explode."

Maki agreed with him. "But I bet Niragi is alive still."

"I think he is dead."

"No way! He is bleeding somewhere."

"Its a bet."

"Why are you so quiet?" Goken poked Kyuma. "Are you scared?"

Kyuma seen almost lost. "She surprised me."

"Thank you for that." Your voice gave away your location. Leaning against one of the containers, all eyes turned to you. "To be honest, I was surprised too."

And you were naked.

"Fuck", Goken shouted.

"Fuck indeed", Uta pinched herself to see if she was imagining something.

Maki looked to the sky. Suddenly it was so interesting.

"I want to battle again but I knew that no one would believe that I wasn't using his bracelet."

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry." Kyuma was looking at your eyes. Well, he was trying to look at your eyes only. "I'm sorry."

"You will battle me or not?"

When Kyuma did nothing, you got closer to him. Blinking your eyes, with a little smile on your face, you watched his eyes fighting to look at the sky. "You such a nice person", you purred. "You don't need to be sorry because you look at me. Clothes are just a social construction, aren't they?"

"I'm not sorry!" Goken shouted. You guess that's the only way he knows to comunicate with others.

"I've noticed", you smiled to him, but your focous was Kyuma. "Don't be so shy. Look at me." When Kyuma did obey, looking deeply into your eyes, you carressed his chest. And the eletric shock made you fall to the ground.

Then they ran. The surprise made the other team slow, they weren't ready to fight back. Dodging them, running towards the base, the three were like lightning. Trembling on the ground, you watched as Arisu touched the base. Then Usagi. But when Kuina was about to touch it, Maki kicked her away

"Really?" Somehow Kyuma was able to shout.

Squirming, you tried hard to answer. "You should know it was a trap."

"Oh my god", Goken laughed. "That was a booby trap!"

"It's a tie", Kuina cried on the floor. "Usagi, run to our base and come back here!"

"You can try" Uta said. She pointed at the big screen. "But can you run to your base and come back here in 3 minutes?"

"Really?" Kyuma shouted again. How could he be so fine? He wasn't even shivering.

"Oh, get over it! It's not my fault you saw a pair of boobs and got distracted." With a lot of effort, you sat down. Arisu run to you, one hand covering his eyes, and took you his shirt. Buttoning it, you stared at him. "I'm going to die and you are mad because I tried to win?"

"Are you covered?" Arisu asked.

"It don't matter", you answered him. "We are going to die. In 3 minutes we are done. I just killed Niragi and what did it change for us? Nothing. Worse: it made us believe we could win. This is it. I gonna die. We gonna die."

"We..." Kuina couldn't move. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't... I should have fought better. I didn't mean to... I'm so sorry."

"I know. We know", Usagi kneeled beside her. "It's not your fault. You tried."

"And now you are going to die!" Holding Arisu in your arms, you were the one crying. "I did everything to protect you and it wasn't enough."

Insteat of crying, Arisu hugged you back. Carressing your head, he was at peace. Arisu knows he did everything he could. That he tried to win with his whole being. And if this is how he is going to die, hugging his sister with the knowlegde that they would die without pain, than so be it.

"You protected me." Arisu whispered. "Since I was a kid. You did everything you could and it was enough. I had a good life. Not a perfect one, but a good one. If I could chose to live this very same life again and again, I would do it."

"We gonna have to deal with them for how long?" Maki asked. "This is embarrassing."

"What about being kind once in your life?" Uta closed her eyes. "Let them cry. One more minute and the game is over."

"Don't be so cruel", Usagi said to her.

"Why aren't you crying?" Kyuma got closer to her.

"I guess I'm just tired" Usagi hold Kuina closer. Whispering to her friend, Usagi felt something hard on her heart. "Tatta will die alone. He must be so scared."

"It's Game Clear to the King of Club's team." The female voice said when the two hours finally ended. "It's Game Over to the players team."

They waited for their death. Your eyes, before wide open, now were closed. Arisu hold you closer to him. Kuina and Usagi shivered against one another. And on the the other side of the labyrinth, Tatta were crying alone. But it never came.

"Do we agree?" Kyuma looked at his team. His hand was up in the air. "In three, two, one..."

All of them raised their hands on the air, and said at the same time: "I vote for the player team."

You opened your eyes. "We died?"

"I don't know", Arisu whispered.

"Congratulations!" Kyuma was so excited that everyone looked at him. And by doing that, everyone saw that Shitara was standing on a corner of the labyrinth. Alive. "Your team was chosen."

"For what?" Usagi feel like throwing up.

"To be trained by us." Kyuma was looking at you. "Welcome home, new citizens."

GENERAL TAGLIST: @suakemi @notanalienindisguiseblink

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

164 notes · View notes

fanfic-lover-girl · 7 months

Text

Gohan and Future Trunks Deserve Better

I have been getting back into DBZ and my love for Gohan and Future Trunks has been reignited. And I am just craving fics where these two precious gems can be doted on and pampered. Because they deserve it! Unfortunately, DBZ fanfiction is not awashed with soft, tender moments :(.

I just need to rant.

Let's start with Gohan. The best Saiyan hybrid. No one, not even Future Trunks, can compete with Gohan's top hybrid status. I know Gohan is not a fighter like his dad and he fights mainly to protect people...but I wish more fanfic writers would explore this as a trauma response. Think about it. Piccolo kidnapped him and forced him into the Saiyan fight. As much as I gush over the Piccolo & Gohan relationship, Piccolo's crimes can't be forgotten. He forced Gohan into fighting and he was not a nurturing teacher. Gohan's first experience with fighting was severely traumatizing. He endured all those brutal fights as a kid, a baby. He faced Frieza, the emperor of the universe, when he was FIVE YEARS OLD. Then the fate of the world was placed on his shoulders when he was 10 when he fought against Cell. Talk about a messed-up childhood.

Then we have the post Cell saga. I understand Goku wanting to stay dead to protect his family - I will never respect that decision. But he failed Gohan as a dad. Can we talk about the likely parentification Gohan would have experienced?? With Goku dead, Gohan is basically the head of the house. I can see Gohan being Chi Chi's support, especially when Goten came into the picture. So not only was Gohan thrusted into fighting and horrific battles throughout his childhood, but now when he needs his father the most as a young man he has no dad. I hope Krillin acted as a father figure. The Z fighters treat Gohan as one of the boys so much that they often forget he's a freaking child. Please get Gohan some therapy. The curse of being the oldest kid. You never get to be sheltered like the younger kids :(

And you best believe that Gohan had to step up as head of the family AGAIN when Goku decided to go on a training trip with Uub with a TBD timeframe. I know Gohan was a grown man then but still...

And now Future Trunks. Oh poor Future Trunks. After all he has been through, my boy Trunks deserves the world and an eternal vacation. Being the Earth's last hope is a heavy burden. Especially when you are not qualified. It's only fairly recently (maybe last year) that I learned that Trunks is not a good fighter. But you can't blame him. His training was severely limited and he was constantly fighting for his life.

The biggest disappointment of the Cell saga is that Trunks did not have a single mentor. By then, Trunks' epic entrance against Frieza should have worn off and it's disgraceful that no one took the time to train this kid. Vegeta should have taken Trunks under his wing but Vegeta couldn't give a damn. But come on, Goku, Piccolo?? Anyone? Even Popo would be better than nothing! Why didn't Piccolo take Trunks with him into the time chamber?? Someone give this guy some training! How could any of the Z fighters feel comfortable letting Trunks go back to the future with his lack of fighting skill?!!!

And I feel so bad for Trunks when it comes to Vegeta. Bulma sold her son a romanticized version of Vegeta and the man was a massive disappointment. Vegeta did not deserve such a sweet, loyal son like Trunks. Imagine you grow up in this dystopian world and you try to save another timeline even though yours will not be directly benefited. Then your foolish dad, in his quest for power, spits in your face and allows another monster to destroy the timeline you risked your neck to save. With Krillin's lovesick antics, Vegeta's testosterone stupidity and the Z fighters just being an uncoordinated mess, I am surprised Trunks did not tear his hair out in frustration.

Kid Trunks should be happy that Future Trunks was Vegeta's guinea pig for fatherhood. I mean I love Vegeta's character arc but I feel jealous on Trunks' behalf to see Vegeta become such a huge softy with Bra/Bulla.

And then Future Trunks has to go back home where he is the sole defender of Earth. And from what I hear, he loses everything in DBS. Can we just give Trunks a happy ending?! Forget Buu and the other intergalactic crazies! Just let Trunks be a teenager! Let him have awkward dates! Let him be a kid! Let him marry a sweet girl and have a family!! My boy deserves peace!!!

I just want to wrap Gohan and Future Trunks in soft blankets and hide them away.

#so many feelings #son gohan #future trunks #mirai trunks #dbz gohan #future trunks deserves better #gohan deserves better #gohan and future trunks are the only hybrids I acknowledge #dbz #dragonball z #piccolo #piccolo critical #cell saga #dbz vegeta #son goku critical #vegeta critical #parentification #childhood trauma

56 notes · View notes

unlikelyjapan · 10 months

Text

s2e6 rewatch notes - part 2

OK, jumping back in from the point where Stevie says "Carm, this is a good thing."

Richie passing Tiff the Sprite (inside the bedroom that is totally just the walls of Donna's brain - the Carmela Soprano-esque mom tchotchke's mixed with predatory animal statues and black accents - maybe a bit too on the nose....) and saying "Carmy made this for you - he's a god damn pop machine, this guy. He's a weird little dude!"

Both Richie and Tiff mistake Carmy's kindness for weakness, just like everyone else from his past. It explains why Tiff would gravitate towards someone like Richie - she hates his brashness (see when she wanders into the kitchen scene after throwing up and he's just revving everyone up) but accepts it so long as it's countered with tenderness because that fits with her idea of masculinity and normalcy.

"We're trying to....um....you know, hook him up with Claire Bear -loosen him up a little bit."

Tiff - "With Claire? Why would you do that? She's so nice."

Nice people (shorthand for normal people) deserve archetypical masculine guys who can be romantic - not people who are neurodivergent and kind. Trauma doesn't factor into any of their considerations in setting people up, because they don't reckon with their own.

The subject changes to Richie and Tiff's relationship and future plans/housing - after just discussing how to "turn Carmy into a MAN man" we watch Richie quietly flounder because we know damn well The Beef won't afford the kind of life Tiff envisions for their new family. Tiff shares her dream about the all-green clothes for them/red for the baby (the baby breaking their mold/image) and they wonder aloud if they're going to be good parents and if Eva is going to like them.

It's true that they'll be better - they're present, they don't want to start from a bad place. But when we look at how they were razzing Carmy, it's indicative of the fact that they're not about to shed the baggage of their histories - they are playing roles that were established for them through their pasts, so they're doomed to failure after the glow of new family wares off and life gets in the way. It'll just look a little different, a little better.

Richie utters "I don't want to be at The Beef every day" to Cicero as Mikey is ranting about the Bill Murray story in the background. Richie was exhausted by the patterns in his life 5 whole years ago, and it wasn't just about providing for his family. It's so obvious that he fully regressed during the pandemic/things not working out in his new life the way he hoped. He also knew at that time that "I'm good with people, but I've never really had an outlet for that" and he never gets to prove what he intuits until "Forks" - by the grace of Carmy, no less.

*lights a candle for Natalie Berzatto* All of Natalie's abuse is so straight-forward and targeted. I'm glad they explored her character this season, but she's still too neatly-tied for the type of abuse she endured. Some of that is a celebration of her core female essence/strength, but I feel like some of the veneer still has to crack in future seasons - if they have her reeling from postpartum depression in S3 on top of her initial worries about Donna/motherhood, it's truly going to break my heart.

Taking a moment just to appreciate John Mulaney belittling the Faks, as it's the only scene where I found their presence enjoyable.

Carm grabbing the saltines and asking Mikey about them working together - Mikey saying The Beef is a nightmare is self-explanatory, but the fact that Carmy follows it up with "I don't want you talking to Claire if you don't give a fuck" and Mikey assuring him that he does, convinces Carmy that Mikey loves him through his meddling with Claire. Out of the two things Carmy has yearned for (at this stage in his life) since high school, Mikey only wants him to have one of those things - the one Mikey and co. decide will be good for him.

Mikey saying "I give, like, the biggest fuck" and Carmen looking pacified/accepting of that statement, means that his father brother is telling him that Claire is the most important thing for him to pursue in his life, and he's just asserting his love for his brother by trying to set him up with her. So much damn pressure....

Discussing The Bear drawing outside the pantry

"It's beautiful....",

"Yeah....we could do this"

"Yeah.....let it rip."

I'm pretty sure this is the last one-on-one conversation Mikey and Carmy ever had, matching the suicide note - this scene is a living goodbye, and John Berenthal plays it like he knows it. Expert-level shit, expert-level acting all around.

All hail Sarah Paulson's hot mess of a character (you can take the dysfunctional girl out of the midwest, but you can't take the midwest out of the dysfunctional girl), even if she was just around to narratively offer Carmy a flashing exit sign (knowing that he's talented and cognitively different from the rest of the lot) and dole out the story about how bears grieve.

I think one thing that Richie, the Fak's and other "related by friendship" hangers-on have in common is that they recognize that Mikey and Carmy's familial suffering has made them dynamic in ways that their own suffering has not. Both have their own unique gravitas that separates them from all the other men in their crummy suburban life - these other men are trying to absorb power by proxy.

"Can you just go and get Dad's gun out of my drawer and I think I'm just going to blow my fucking brains out and then you guys can make dinner because I don't think anyone would fucking miss me" - many thanks to @loudlightobservation for pointing out in the part one comments that Donna probably has untreated Borderline and Narcissistic PD. I initially thought this scene was over-the-top, but I burned an hour reading about how severe the reactions to perceived abandonment can be in these cases.

As per my comments about Natalie and her veneer, at least she can do things like ask Stevie "can you hug me?" and select men like Pete who will always be ready to do so. Unlike the boys, she learned how to identify needs and self-soothe early, probably because she was the most neglected of the three.

Didn't know where to put this: Cicero's relationship/flirtation with Donna when she's in the kitchen "do you know how fucking hot you are when you're slurring your words?", Lee's hatred of Cicero, and Lee trying to make inroads with Donna (again) through a work collaboration - the building in Wilmette likely being the property that Cicero mentioned having to offload. Carol (revealed to be Cicero's wife by name in s1e4) yelling at Lee as he enters for his first scene of the show. Again, I didn't know where to put these interconnected notes, but WHAT. THE. FUCK. HAPPENED. HERE.

Also, is Lee a former partner in The Beef (after he presumably replaced the Berzatto patriarch for a stay) and that's part of the resentment towards Mikey - along with sharing Donna for a time? Or is it something else? I've had a hard time piecing together these narratives beyond the obvious psychosexual connection to Donna.

Ugh, the all-hands crucifixion of St. Pete - I morphed from "who is this cuck?" in season 1 to wanting to storm onto the set and carry him out myself like a baby - not unlike how I felt the first time I saw Carmy slapping the donut out of Marcus' hands. Cringe but ultimately minor transgressions in a charged environment wind up being the greater sin than full-on emotional abuse with the Berzattos.

I'm finding there's less to dissect in the second half of the episode - everything is more overt. Cicero is generous. (re: shielding Richie). Natalie and Carmy are emotionally spent from their Donna-duty.

The whole final Donna/Carmy kitchen scene brings up a lot of existential questions I ask myself as a cook about food being a mechanism of control. I love to gather and cook for people - but I also know I'm an anxious person who needs to control the narrative, and sometimes I want people to be somewhat beholden to me through the care I extend to them through food and entertaining. In doing this, I sometimes feel pushy, and know there is always a level of avoidance in hosting/caring for people.

But with Donna, and through that conduit, Carmy - food IS control. Food IS enmeshment. Food IS the forcing function for unruly togetherness (through the restaurant and grand celebrations in the Italian tradition).

I hope that Carmy, through his collaboration with Syd, carves out a healthier narrative of what caring for people through cooking and service means. I don't think he hates cooking, as others have postulated - I think he hates the enmeshment, I think he hates himself for feeling he needs to control people through food. I think he hates feeling forced to do it, because he can't function that highly outside of it. The sooner he can extricate himself from his past, the sooner I think he'll love creating food and sharing it again.

The Lee and Mikey jousting bit is essential to the dinner unravelling, but while it's immaculately acted, it's not really interesting to me since it's such an overt conflict. Poking the bear, fighting to be the patriarchal figure of the house, blah blah blah. It makes for great visuals, but it doesn't reveal any new depth beyond "men=fucked."

And the "cousin, you're scaring the normals" comment - I see no evidence that anyone who would willingly wander into this abattoir fits that description. The best part of the scene is when Lee says "throw another fork at me and you're going to get fucking rocked" and then there's just the pregnant pause, immaculately shot, with the old clock ticking in the background.

Lee's "You're nothing. You're nothing. You're nothing" harkens back to "You're bad at this. You are bullshit. You should be dead" - all of the Berzatto men are capable of being ground to a pulp by other men they perceive to be authorities in some form or another, and I think we're only just beginning to see in this season how women factor into the equation (those in charge and those who are seemingly powerless) after a lifetime ruled by Donna.

Donna, who enters the scene, and everything defers to the power she holds over everyone with her tempestuous illness.

Ha, I missed the line in Stevie's grace where he says "We're healthy, I think? No ones si....no ones physically very sick."

"Natalie Rose Berzatto...." God. If I had turned off subtitles, JLC's delivery in this scene would make anyone hear "Do you know how much I fucking hate you" - because that's what she meant. And God bless Michelle.

It seems like, the moment Carmy looks at the car and the cannoli, it's finally cemented in his mind that Mikey and Donna are intrinsically the same person (but the selective trauma memories he maintains after Mikey's death wipe out the bad, hence his surprise about him using etc). Ending with Natalie's A+ horror film face and the lyrics "Could you ever know how much I care?" was absolutely the right editorial tone to end the episode.

I'm going to be honest....I thought I'd find a lot more in this hour than I actually did.

I'm really looking forward to Bolognese onwards, mostly because I really miss Syd now - the show without her energy (mostly because Natalie still has inadequate development, through no fault of her own) is just male trauma from a male perspective....

#the bear fx #the bear season 2 #the bear spoilers #the bear #carmy x sydney #carmen berzatto #syd x carmy #sydney adamu #richie jerimovich #claire the bear #mikey berzatto #donna berzatto #the bear s2 #carmy berzatto

126 notes · View notes

call-me-copycat · 1 year

Note

Hi! if requests are still open can you do parental Aizawa with prompt 15 of the soft family section?

Hello! Yes, requests are still very much open, I've just been very busy and haven't had much time to write during the day. So I'm very sorry for the wait, I hope you enjoy despite the time it took ( ˶ˊᵕˋ)

Sounds of Sorrow

Welcome! - Request rules (if you'd like me to write for you) + A little info about me (⁠^⁠^⁠)

▶ Characters: GN (gender neutral) Reader and Father! Aizawa (platonic)

▶ Genre: Comfort

▶ Summary: Time has never been on your side. You've always been counting down the minutes until your father might up and leave you, but Aizawa thinks otherwise. He just needs you to understand.

▶ Word Count: ~ 4229

▶ Warnings:

- Talk about quirk orphanages (something I made up)

- Mentions of abuse, kidnapping, trauma (and it's related PTSD), death, mental illness, and so on

- Reader has a mental breakdown

➤ Request:

"I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again, I promise."

How long had it been?

Time was always promised to heal your wounds unconditionally, always promised that you'll indefinitely feel better as time grew. This promise felt as though it was under the same umbrella of that of a snake oil salesman trying to sell his "cure-all" while being blanketed by the shade of a grim alleyway.

But, nevertheless, you sat and waited. You endured every nightmare, every flashback, every flinch and twitch and imaginary breath down your neck, fully believing not enough time had passed and so that was why you were still the way you were.

But, now how long had it been?

So much time had passed that the people who always spoke those promises to you had backed down upon seeing your tormented state, writhing in the agony of your own subconscious. And it upset you.

You were constantly in pain, but at least you had something to look forward to. The future where you could possibly be normal and happy burned atop your mind, fueling your legs to move everyday and keeping your heart pumping and lungs breathing. The pain was endured even though it was horrible misery, but to you, if it meant it would be gone one day then you'd suffer the torment.

So that's why when you realized that it was never going away and that those people were just saying things, life suddenly lost all its color and the bubbling memories raged as they burned and broiled all the way to the top of your mind, filling your world entirely with the past. You weren't a fighter, you were meek and cowardly, and so the dark emotions and thoughts would always go out of control, no restrictions or opposing forces to hold them back.

Currently lying on the couch of the living room, it was all you could do as your energy was now unpredictable, leaving you either shaking in paranoia of the shadow you saw earlier, or draining you and leaving you to succumb to the devoid atmosphere created by your mind.

Currently in the latter, you had moved yourself to the couch since you remembered it always made your father upset to see you lying in bed all the time. Not angry upset, but rather sad upset. You could always see some dark emotion swirling behind those somber dark pupils of his, but he would never clue you in on to how he was feeling, always focusing solely on you instead.

It felt a tad embarrassing, to be so dependent on someone to help you get through life because you can't do it on your own. Although it made you feel guilty for being so dependent on him to take care of you when your depression reared its ugly head, you found that you couldn't do anything about it whether you wanted to or not. Too drained to move, if you lived alone then you knew you'd probably have already died by lack of personal care.

You didn't know why, but you felt as though you were burdening this man that had so kindly taken you in. He took you in when you were at your worst and absolutely needed it, and how did you repay him? By having him work extra hard to care about your health and safety, by constantly worrying and saddening him with your depression, by taking up so much time in his busy life that he gets little to no sleep, and so on and so forth.

So, maybe you did know why after all.

It still hurt.

Thoughts started flowing in your mind, the steady stream picking up pace and beginning to form what looked to be a violent torrent. Crashing waves paired with the violent drag of the water threatened to pull you in and fully submerge you in the river of dark thoughts.

'Maybe you were better off gone, no need to further be a burden'

'A kind soul takes you in and you simply serve to batter and bruise it with you presence '

'What good do you even give?'

'He'll lose interest soon, nobody will stay somewhere giving all they have only to gain nothing but loss of materials and time '

'One day, he might just abandon you on the side of the road, all because you can't help but take up everything he's got'

Shaking, you clutched your head and burrowed your face into the soft back of the couch, warm fresh tears beginning to make their way down your face as the thoughts pummeled you with their cruel words. What hurt was most of them made sense to think about, and it only served to fill your guilt more than ever.

And you stayed like that for who knows how long. Laying limp and letting the thoughts hurl their callous statements at you. It hurt, but you couldn't do much about it, too drained to even get up from where you were laying. All you could manage was being able to pull the blanket you had wrapped around you earlier up your torso a little further, making it engulf you a little more.

The tears never stopped, and you understood that once again time wasn't on your side as it never helped with anything when needed. Little sobs grew to light wails, tears furiously pouring down your face and body racked with shaking and shivering, a hiccup or two cutting off the sound for a split second every now and then.

All of a sudden, light footsteps were heard dashing rapidly in your direction, but your paranoia was muffled by the sorrow that poured from your soul.

Before you knew it, two large warm hands were gently prying the blanket from your death grip, and then softly coddling your head as they turned you around to look at whoever was behind you.

You met eyes with your adoptive father, and once again, as you saw the worried look across his face all the horrible thoughts began to make sense, causing you to cry even harder and Aizawa to engulf you in his arms as he tried to gently move around you to sit with you on the couch.

His hair was still damp from the shower he just took, and it looked like he didn't finish completely drying himself before dashing out of his bathroom upon hearing your heart wrenching wails coming from the living room.

It was a fatherly instinct, to drop everything regardless of its value or importance and immediately aim to soothe the pain of his little one (despite how old you are, you'll always be his little one to him).

Because to him, it was as if he could feel your pain right alongside you. He may have not known what was the cause of your tears, but it still pained him to see them running down your face and be the cause of an unknown ache- whether that ache came from the body or the mind, it didn't matter as he just wanted to do anything he could to soothe you from it.

And so that's why he found himself in his current position; cradling you in his arms in the spot you were previously laying, holding you and trying to soothe whatever was troubling you.

The blanket was still wrapped around you, but even though it was a bit awkward to work around that still didn't deter Aizawa. He ran his hands along your back, hushing and cooing at you to help your tears come to a slow.

Pushing back the unruly hair that made its way in front of your darling face, he gave you a soft kiss on the forehead as you were starting to come to, the tears slowing and your crying turning from wails to little sniffles and hiccups that still jabbed him in the heart regardless of the intensity.

Once he thought you were back enough, he decided that now was the time to question what might have been the cause of your tears. He wasn't looking for an answer if you didn't want to give one, all he wanted was to know what to do to get rid of the pain that hurt you so.

He held you closely, your head laying against his chest as the warmth and the sound of his heartbeat soothed you in a way. Your face was still wet with the trails of tears and it was accompanied with puffy, red splotchy eyes and unruly hair that seemed to have a strand flying in every direction known to man.

Yet, as Aizawa looked at you, none of that even mattered to him, because through it all he saw his beloved little baby. The little imperfections you struggled to deal with were his favorite aspects of you, because it helped to serve him an image that was made entirely of you, real and existing without a template. And when you were gone, those memories helped him find little bits of you in things that he previously wouldn't have payed any attention to.

Like, for example, how you hated the way your hair looked at times. And once when Aizawa had to leave for the store once not too long ago, he noticed a little character on a ramen box that had a similar hairstyle in the exact way you didn't like yours (he ended up getting it because it got a chuckle out of him). Or how while he was walking to work once, he noticed a man walking in the streets with nearly the exact same limp as you did when you were too tired.

The little things that you didn't like were in the end what made you... You. And Aizawa loved you unconditionally, little imperfections and all. Theoretically, you could run out of your room one day and state that you believed aliens were real and they were coming to harvest people's kidneys, and he'd still love you the same regardless.

So that's why he strived to end the pain that constantly tormented you, wanting nothing more than to choke out the flame of dark thoughts that only existed to feast on your suffering.

Once, at a time in Aizawa's life when he was still struggling to find himself and his place in the world, he ran into a little child all by themselves on the street. No one seemed to even spare a glance at this child, the crowd simply walking around them with cruel apathy and empty hearts. The kid was so little, so fragile looking that Aizawa was worried that even a single gust of wind would be able to knock them down.

He didn't know why a child would be by themselves all alone in the city at night, nor did he know why nobody was even bothering to ask them if they needed help. But nevertheless, he still did what he thought was best. He went up to them and asked them about their parents, their life, if they needed help, and so on.

Imagine a young Aizawa's horror when he realized that this child was a survivor of a quirk orphanage.

When quirks made their way into society, many sick bastards were able to find ways to profit off of them, and human trafficking and organ harvester crimes rocketed up the charts as heroes and police officers tried to find any way to put an end to the explosion of what was deemed a new marketing potential.

And one of these 'investments' were quirk orphanages. A cruel place of business where children without any parents to care for them and also had a potentially powerful quirk were normally the biggest targets of these corperations. Sometimes the child's parents were set up to be murdered just for this sake of 'business'.

They would steal the child's quirk, or if it was irremovable, then they would be forced to work until they couldn't any longer. And then the child would be disposed of, and another would be brought in.

It was a cruel cycle that had unfortunately gained an alarmingly large reputation among the groups of villains that corrupted the town, and it seemed as if everytime one was closed and shut down then two more popped up. It was easy money, especially for those heartless villains that didn't seem to have any other care in the world other than how much their wallet weighed.

You were so young that you didn't even remember what your quirk was, having it taken from you only a week after it developed. Somehow you were able to escape after a riot formed between the villains and the older kids who still had their quirks. And so, instead of fighting, you did what was the only thing on your mind: you ran.

The streets seemed so bright, and the taste of freedom was like honey upon your tongue when you first breached the orphanage's gates alongside some other kids. But the outside world was nothing but even more cruelty waiting for fresh new faces to consume. Half the group spilt off as food was scarce, and the police couldn't help much with too many cases such as yours piling onto them.

You never saw that group again as they got onto a different bus in hopes of finding someone out there to help, and eventually the kids left in your group started to disappear one after another, all having previously promised to take care of you since you were the youngest. Too bad they broke that promise, but you couldn't blame them. Food and clothes were hard to find, and any mouth other than the one on your face wasn't guaranteed anything to eat.

And that's how Aizawa found you, at the ripe age of 19 during one of his first patrols on his own. Seeing a sniveling, grimy, bruised child all by themselves huddled in a box in a dark alleyway certainly wasn't something that he was prepared to run into. But still, he took you to the police station in the end.

It was originally his plan to drop you off and hope that the police would sort things out, but when the officers were discussing on what to do with you he felt you cling to the pants of his hero outfit, and upon looking down he met eyes with your teary expression, face dirty and red while swollen tears ran down your little cheeks.

And something changed in him that day. Before he knew what he was doing, suddenly he was trying to convince the older officers that he, a young inexperienced boy who had no idea who this child was, was suitable for taking you in. And surprisingly, they allowed it right away.

So that's why looking at your teary face on moments like these gives Aizawa a special type of sting, it hits him low and hard because no matter how much time passes he'll always remember that sudden change in his demeanor. And he'll always remember the small, scared child that clung to him so desperately out of fear of what might happen to them.

Sighing somberly to himself at the memory, Aizawa noticed that your crying had finally come to a stop, and instead you were clinging onto his shirt while shaking slightly. Rubbing your back in an attempt to soothe you, he leaned back and tenderly used the pad of his thumb to wipe away the wet trails that still stuck to your cheeks.

"You feeling better?" He asked, taking caution to keep his tone soft while you were still in a vulnerable state.

Upon feeling a slight nod of your head Aizawa relaxed some of the tension that ran through his body, allowing himself to lean back into the couch while still holding you in his arms. He fondly ran one hand through the locks of your hair while the other was constantly kept wrapped around you.

Letting out a heavy sigh, the tired pro began to think about how he could ask you what was wrong without it feeling too forced or too sudden, but you ended up beating him to it.

"I'm sorry.."

Upon hearing your apology, Aizawa shook his head. "No, there's nothing to be sorry for", shaking his head once again, "nothing at all".

You soon began to shake, and Aizawa prepared for another bought of tears, fearing he might accidentally fall with you as he can't stand the sight of your pain.

"No!" The sudden outburst caught the both of you off guard, and in your panic you tried pulling away from the man, but unsuccessfully as Aizawa gently held you in place.

"No?.."

The split second of silence was deafening, but it was quickly filled regardless.

"I just- ... I just... " You didn't know how to properly phrase the thoughts in your head, and it ended with you shoving your face back into Aizawa's chest, his arms immediately wrapping back around you as he sensed you were becoming overwhelmed.

"J-just- Just.. don't wanna-.. see you g-gone.. or be a bu-burden..". Your voice came out muffled due to the fact that you were refusing to face the world and instead opted to hide away in the arms of your father, but he still understood you anyways.

Aizawa's expression softened as he breathed out in saddened exasperation. Now he was finally starting to piece things together; you thought you were taking up too much time or space in his life. But that couldn't have been any further from the truth.

"..."

Upon receiving nothing from the man but silence, you started to quiver in his arms, fearing for the worst as the cruel thoughts began mocking and berating you just as they had done moments earlier.

"I don't ever want to hear you say you're a burden again."

He started it slow, as if he was still testing the way the words came out, ending it with a complete flip in attitude when he confidently stated it, as though he was cemented down in his decision and was thoroughly ready to shoot down any opposing views.

"But-"

"No." Such a simple word, yet it still held behind it such a heavy force that beared the weight of the words that he planned to speak, the wave of emotions and hidden thoughts behind it almost too much for such a lonely word to bear.

Aizawa clenched his jaw, a pained expression gnawing at his features. Despite his face holding such as exasperated and angered expression, the profound sadness in his eyes gave away the true merit of his mind.

"You've been with me how long? I'd say about 10 years, correct?"

Confused on how to behave in compliance to his odd reaction, you numbly nodded your head, wondering where he was planning to go.

"10 years...", He leaned back, reveling in the pleasant memories that came to his mind when he thought about all the things he got to do with you.

"That's a decade of me getting to watch you grow up. A decade where I got to help you learn how to get through with life, a decade where I got the honor of being your father ..." He paused, seemingly getting lost in thought as he looked idly behind you, before turning to look back at you having once again hidden your face in his arms.

His expression softened further as a gentle rush of fond memories began to make their way through his mind.

Lazy mornings going shopping in your guys' pajamas, holding you up so you can put the star on the Christmas tree, watching you run around in your new kimono on child's day, taking you all the way to Tokyo since you loved it so much and it seemed to bring the biggest smile he's ever seen reach across your little face... And so many others.

Burden... Oh how he loathed the word. It exacted from him a dormant rage that he had never been aware of boiling and seething inside of him. But oh, how he wanted to erase the word and it's meaning clean from your mind. And fill the empty spot with even more cherished memories instead.

He continued looking down at you with a tender expression, one of longing and fatherly affection. Softly nuzzling the top of your head with his free hand, he gently pried your face from his arms so that he had you facing him.

"Tell me, during those 10 years, did you ever regret getting taken in by me? Did you ever wish you were taken in by another family? "

Startled by his questions, you thought that you had given him the wrong idea, that instead of you thinking of yourself as a burden he thought he was the problem. Truth be told, Aizawa knew what he was doing. He's a smart man, so of course he's going to try to find a solid way to get you to understand his point of view and what he wants you to know.

"Ehh?! No! No, it's not that! I just- I just-"

You started getting teary eyed again and Aizawa cut you off before you ran yourself dry with a kiss to the side of your head.

Pulling back, he continued.

"So you don't regret how your life turned out?" He said, trying to get you to look him in the eye, but failing due to your uncooperative demeanor, "You see, I feel the exact same way. Just asking you those questions hurt. Do you know why I asked them in the first place?"

Dumbfounded once again, you dumbly shook your head in response to the odd questions he was asking you. You wanted to know where he was going with this, as everytime something like this happened, he'd always have a new answer, one that was always somehow deeper and more profound than the last.

Aizawa wasn't finished, and this time he wanted to get his answer to hit somewhere deep and prominent, to have it so that not a single piece of guilt could shred your determination, nor a single dark thought to tear away at your resolve. He just wanted to help you be happy without fear or guilt, for you to be truly relaxed without paranoia breathing upon you, and for you to simply enjoy what life held without feeling weighed down by all the past packages that consumed your mind everyday.

"Because- and I want you to hear me loud and clear- I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again, I promise."

And with his words stated quite clearly, he waited for your response. Although he knew what he thought and how he felt, Aizawa clearly understood that you didn't, and that was the main root of all your worry and fears of abandonment.

Silence filled the room, the tension weighing down the previous sounds and words said. Smaller sounds were able to be heard from around the house, but Aizawa was completely focused on you. He was mentally preparing himself for any opposing remarks, questions, or debates, knowing all too well that you were like an object being used by your terrible thoughts and paranoia. Oh, how Aizawa had developed a deep hatred for something that didn't even physically exist.

Nothing was said as you sat there in your father's arms, trying your best to make what your could of the situation. It was an all out clash of thoughts as you began to absorb more and more of his words. The dark thoughts, crying out their terrible song and attempting to drag you down with their sharpened claws, versus the firmly planted words of your father (that you knew right away the man wasn't going to debate).

Nothing was said, but it wasn't needed as your actions spoke soundless words and cried in silent pain.

Aizawa was watching you carefully, you knew that the whole time as it was a habit of his, never daring to take his eyes off of you (the tired pro had his own fears and paranoias to battle himself).

Silently, tenderly, you seemed to make a decision as Aizawa watched you slowly look up at him, shyly making eye contact for the first time in ages. And with that, the tense barrier was broken as you lunged forward, hugging him as tightly as your arms could hold. In a matter of milliseconds, Aizawa's arms met yours immediately, wrapping you up in a just at tight hug (though, he had to be careful in order to not cause you any harm with his strength).

Breathing out a sigh of relief, Aizawa knew that though this conversation wasn't the last of many, but he was glad that you both had stepped forward together.

And that's how your night went, both of you content in each other's arms as your paranoia was snuffed out by the brighter and hotter flame that was of your father's devotion to loving and caring for you.

Just this once, your sounds of sorrow weren't given the right of way, and for that you knew you owed your father a "thank you".

A/N:

Once again, I'm very sorry for the delay! I promise I'm working on the asks that were sent to me, I try to write when I can, even if that means at least a sentence or two a day if that's all I can do.

If anyone is interested in this becoming a whole story, I can gladly write out the reader's and Aizawa's background! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

Thank you all for reading, feel free to request at anytime, and I hope you all have a wonderful day! ‪ ୧꒰*´꒳`*꒱૭✧

年2023/月02/日19

#Copycat Writes #boku no hero academia #bnha aizawa #my hero academia #aizawa shōta #dadzawa #aizawa x daughter reader #my hero academia fanfic #bnha #mha #Eraserhead #my hero academia fluff #aizawa comfort #mha fluff #boku no hero #boku no hero fanfic

255 notes · View notes

rose-in-a-fisted-glove · 3 months

Note

Hi it’s the SU anon here I’m very sorry for how much I upset you, and I seriously wanted to piece tgt what I’m missing from the Jewish viewpoint so I appreciate u still being open to talking to me despite the ignorance. Also disclaimer I’m born and raised in Malaysia so I’ve not met an actual Jew in person until very recently in uni, so all I know is from the messy pile on the internet and I do genuinely learn from ur posts when I see them.

From what I see on ur blog u do show quite a lot of sympathy to the all the cruelty happening in Gaza, but don’t tolerate this being used as an excuse to target Israel/Jewish ppl. I do understand that the whole concept of pushing for an Israel/jewish ethnostate is very much entwined with the history of Jewish culture and the antisemitism endured through different times, so I think this is the part where I made the most ignorant statement on? After rereading what I wrote it might also have sounded like all Jews hold extremely reactionary views towards the word “ceasefire”? Pls do point out more of what upset u, I take full responsibility for what I said and pls stop this convo at any point if I end up offending u more.

Recognizing that you don't know something is the first step towards fixing it. It's good that you thought on your previous ask and tried to research it! But you're missing an awful lot so let's start from the top.

(As a reminder and so others can seee, here's the original ask)

"Hi, this a question abt ur opinion on what’s happening in Gaza just bc you’re one of my favourite blogs that goes deep into Jewish culture/issues. If at any point this question becomes annoying pls ignore.

Anyways so in my college SU meeting recently someone sent in a motion to make an official statement to condemn the war and call for immediate and permanent ceasefire + provide more support to the Jewish and Muslim/Arab students affected by increased hate in the community as well. This sparked a debate among those in attendance and of course there’s a few very pro-Israel voices that insists that a ceasefire will cause Israel to lose all ability to defend itself as well as many pro-Palestine arguments. The motion ended up discarded bc of procedural reasons but as someone who has mostly held a free Palestine view so far and has been hoping for a more inclusive Israel in the future, I don’t understand why stopping a war hurting both sides is taken as an Israel must disappear take by many. I always just accepted it as it’s probably got a lot more antisemitic undertone when it’s a Jew that hears it, but I really wanna hear ur take as well bc the debate I witnessed brought up very disturbing points that I can’t stop thinking about. Hope this didn’t end up sounding disrespectful and thanks for always sharing important Jewish viewpoints without undermining other social issues!"

First problem comes right with the opening sentence; "Hi, this a question abt ur opinion on what’s happening in Gaza just bc you’re one of my favourite blogs that goes deep into Jewish culture/issues."

Going to random Jews who do not post about the conflict and asking for their "stance" on it is part of a series of antisemitic loyalty tests and is extremely rude on top of it. Furthermore, speaking on Jewish cultures and issues and antisemitism is not the same as being experienced or knowledgeable on international conflicts.

And then your next paragraphs are of course riddled with anti-Israeli biases and examples that you've been listening to/reading propaganda uncritically, such as "wanting a more inclusive Israel" and in your more recent ask saying things like "I do understand that the whole concept of pushing for an Israel/jewish ethnostate is very much entwined with the history of Jewish culture and the antisemitism endured through different times". So you clearly have a basic lack of knowledge about both Israel and the conflict in general along with Zionism itself.

But, again, that's not an area I talk about much. If any of the folks who do talk about it, see this and want to go into it, please do! Just to repeat here, you shouldn't have been asking me in the first place.

Then, this part here, showed me that you have a history of dismissing antisemitism as Jews being overly sensitive "I always just accepted it as it’s probably got a lot more antisemitic undertone when it’s a Jew that hears it." And then that was compounded by your closing insult, "thanks for always sharing important Jewish viewpoints without undermining other social issues!"

And that closing insult told me that I had woefully failed in sharing any information about antisemitism at all. "Sharing important Jewish viewpoints without undermining other social issues". Jewish "viewpoints" and antisemitism are just as important as any other sort of bias. Pointing out antisemitism and sharing stories about antisemitism does not, and can not, undermine other social issues. It is not lesser. Honestly, I'm still kind of livid over that shot.

21 notes · View notes

scarrabear · 9 months

Text

QUOGAN HEADCANONS PART 2

hi again!!! I'm back with part 2. I honestly expected to finish my thoughts but yeah I talk a lot and just have so many thoughts soooo I'm still not done!

College Years

Logan and Michael helped Quinn and her family set up her dorm room (she has her own room but has communal bathrooms)

Logan buys his first condo to live in for college years with the plan of using it as an investment property in the future. (This could be the apartment we see Quinn at in Zoey 102??)

Logan gifted Quinn a gold necklace of his name and Quinn got him a (vegan) leather bracelet with her name on it before move in day!

Logan was very intimidated at first and didn't think he was smart enough for UCLA but Quinn and his group of friends helped encourage him.

Quinn was nervous about making friends and was one of very few girls in her class at Caltech. Logan and the gang (especially Zoey and Lola) helped boost her confidence and help block out any sexism she would endure as a women in STEM.

Their first semester there was some uncertainty on both ends on if their relationship would last, plus people kept telling them "oh high school relationships fail just dump them". Scheduling time to speak to one another on the phone and in person meet ups was hard at first but the two realized how worth it their love was.

Quinn realized a month into her first semester that no guy compared to Logan in terms of attentiveness. Logan realized how truly lucky he was to have Quinn after only spending a few weeks in school listening to his classmates *try* to sound smart.

After the first year, Quinn got a summer internship at a TekMate (currently in a crisis competing with the iPhone) and this began her working her way up the company. Logan worked as a producer's assistant for one of his father's films aka this being one of the most humbling experiences for him.

^^ that summer, Quinn lived with Logan in his condo that first summer and yeah the two had lots of sex but also learned what being in an adult relationship consists of (budgeting, grocery shopping, chores, etc.) Quinn was also saving up to rent her own place.

During Logan's 3rd year at UCLA in my mind is where he meets Jared (a new character in Zoey 102 and one of his groomsmen), the son of fellow rich/successful movie producers and Malcolm asks him to help adjust to UCLA. The two become close immediately and Logan introduces him to Quinn like a week after knowing each other.

Jared and Quinn are both gleeks. Quinn only started watching because of the character Quinn Fabray and they get Logan on board too. Quinn dresses up as a cheerio one halloween and Jared and Logan are Warblers.

In 102, Jared is confirmed gay and has a longtime partner. Back in 2010-ish, Jared was probably scared shitless to come out to Logan but wanted to because he started seeing someone, presumably his partner. Logan was the one to ask Jared "so are you and (insert name)..." to which jared opens his eyes and Logan interrupts trying to calm him down saying "its totally cool if you are! Quinn is from Seattle you know so she's cool with it too!" this causes Jared to tear up and the two share a bro hug.

Logan and Quinn start becoming more and more comfortable in his own masculinity/femininity respectively and their sexualities.

Every summer up until graduation Quinn worked at TekMate, eventually being offered a position as an invention consultant at age 23. Logan threw her a huge party.

Logan dealt with accusations all through college that he only got in because his father bribed the school...he ended up graduating with a solid B+ average.

Quinn graduated top of her class wow who's shocked not me

Post College Years/Before Engagement

Logan continues to buy up real estate as investment properties but mainly lives in one "starter" home in The Hollywood Hills. Quinn lives in Logan's first condo (rent free) and the two have sleepovers quite literally every night. Their friends and family keep harassing them about why they don't just move in together but the two are adamant about it not feeling "the right time" yet, ie: Quinn establishing herself and wants to be financially steady and Logan respecting her space but also building up his producing credentials.

Logan proposed for the first time not long after they graduated to which Quinn said she wasn't ready yet. This prompted them to have the discussion about living separately for a while. Not only did this make their relationships stronger, but helped them grow as individuals. (Logan kept the engagement ring)

Like in the movie, Logan was openly stating he wanted to marry Quinn but respected her needs. She probably wanted to establish her own name in the tech world before being known as JUST "Logan Reese's wife". Quinn always reassured him though she would eventually say yes and would let him know when she was ready.

They buy their first home together after 10 years of dating (age 27). Around this time as well, the CEO of TekMate announces they are stepping down from the position and they suggest Quinn be one of a select few to begin the training process to take over. Quinn is eventually chosen as the new CEO a year later at age 28, the youngest and first female in the company's history.

Shortly after Quinn becomes CEO, Camille (new character from Zoey 102 and one of her bridesmaids) is hired as head of marketing for TekMate. the two become fast friends and Quinn immediately introduces her to Logan who is just ecstatic. Camille also gets along great with Lola, Michael, Stacey, Mark, and Jared.

Logan entrusts Camille to text or call him whenever Quinn is stressed at work.

The idea of of developing the unbreakable see-through phone comes when at a party, Logan randomly wonders what would happen if he ran over his old iPhone with his new car (one of his new cars I should say).

on their anniversary every year, they take a trip to a different area of the world.

Logan and Quinn go all out for decorating their house for Halloween, Christmas, Hanukkah, and Valentines Day.

Lyric was the one who asked the couple the most on when they would get married.

When the unbreakable see through phone was getting closer and closer to launch, Forbes magazine cover, etc. is when Quinn felt she was truly established as "Quinn Pensky, the inventor" and when she told Logan she was ready to get married, he cried. He also told her he still wanted to propose to her to which she anxiously anticipated it.

Yeah Part 3 coming soon!!! Thanks again for reading you lovelies <3

#quogan #Quinn pensky #logan reese #quinn x logan #logan x quinn #zoey 102 #zoey 101 #nickelodeon #paramount+

51 notes · View notes

whumpy-wyrms · 10 months

Text

The Last Lab Rat #3: Surreal

previous | masterlist | next

content: lab whump, medical whump, captivity, accidentally getting outed as trans (dw nothing bad happens), gender dysphoria, nonsexual nudity, needles, top surgery, noncon drugging, manipulation mention, trans whumpee, intimate/creepy whumper, whumper as caretaker

when the whumper can excuse unethical experimentation but draws the line at gender dysphoria. there’s gonna be actual whump in the next chapter i swear, just had to get this stuff out of the way first :>

—

Dew waited until he heard Anton leave the room before he got in the shower. He was happy to have his binder off, but it was still terrifying not knowing what the future will be like for him here.

The bathroom door had no lock, which kinda sucked. He tossed the mud soaked hospital gown on the floor and hid his binder in the cabinet under the sink.

Anton seemed so upset at his poor attempt at an escape. Dew had never been so afraid of the mad scientist, well, it’s not like he knew him for that long anyway. How long had he been here? Two days? He’d get out of this soon, he was sure of it.

But he couldn’t stop that voice in his head telling him he’d ruined his only chances of escape. Anton had mentioned a punishment earlier, was he planning on hurting Dew every time he went against him?

Dew couldn’t stop his mind swarming with the terrible things he saw earlier, trying to block it out by the sound of the water raining down on him. After he washed all the mud off of him, he sat down and curled up in the corner, legs to his chest, feeling the water pour over his head. He didn’t want to think about this, didn’t want to think about being a mad scientist’s lab rat.

It was hard though, when that’s all he really could think about. What was this freak going to do? He hadn’t even started experimenting on Dew yet but he was already terrified. The suspense of not knowing was killing him. Dew tried to ignore it, tried to remind himself he wasn’t going to die here and he just had to wait for his next moment to escape. But how long would it take for that moment to come? How many experiments would Dew have to endure before he’d get another chance?

Dew’s internal monologue was interrupted when he heard the bathroom door open. Dew’s body went rigid, he felt like a deer in the headlights, staring at the shower curtain in the direction of the door, hoping Anton wouldn’t come near him.

“Don’t mind me, Dew,” Anton said nonchalantly. “I’m just replacing your clothes, I’ll leave in a sec—” There was a noise, as if a cabinet door was opening, and a confused hum. Shit.

“A-Anton?” Dew squeaked.

“Yeah, uh,” Anton stood, holding Dew’s binder. “I didn’t know… you’re trans?” Dew’s heart skipped a beat, his stomach dropping and feeling like his entire world was over. “Uh, I’ll go get you some other clothes… be right back.” The door shut, and Dew was left alone once again.

The suspense itself was killing him, if not the fact this captor literally knew Dew’s other only weakness. What would happen to him now? Dew tried to let the pressure of the water raining down on his head drown out his thoughts, but it seemed he just couldn’t stop worrying anymore.

Dew’s spiral was interrupted once again when he heard the door open, and more shuffling on the other side of the curtain. He didn’t dare say anything unless he wanted it to come out as incomprehensible sobs.

“I put some different clothes on the counter,” Anton said. Dew couldn’t decipher his tone, it sounded normal, if not a little awkward, but he never had any idea what the man was thinking. If he didn’t know any better, it sounded like his captor was a bit remorseful. “I’ll uh, talk to you when you’re done?”

Anton once again left Dew alone with his thoughts. He didn’t know what he preferred more, honestly. Being alone, his mind thinking of all the terrible things that could happen to him, or being around his captor, where those thoughts could easily become reality.

The only thing Dew could really do was be done now. The water was starting to get cold, and he didn’t want to anger the scientist any more by taking too long. He peeked his head out the curtain to see a baggy sweater and sweatpants. Different from his other clothes, but much better than what he was wearing before. He put them on, and stared at the door.

Dew was tired. He wasn’t going to wait anymore; he had to face what he did, who he was. He had to get it over with, whatever it was that Anton was going to do to him. It’d be over eventually, and Dew could curl up under the bed again.

When he opened the door to see Anton staring at him, sitting cross legged on the edge of the bed, Dew crumbled. Pretending to be strong was so hard when all he felt was fear.

“J-just let me go, please!” Dew cried, falling to his knees. He couldn’t do this anymore. He wanted to go home. He’d do anything at this point. “It’s— you don’t want me. I-I have too many problems you’d have to deal with, it would be too much of a hassle! J-just let me go and t-take someone else to use as your test subject, p-please.” He knew it was selfish, but he didn’t care at this point. He didn’t want to be a lab rat.

“Dew… I’m not mad,” Anton said. Dew still couldn’t read his tone, nor his facial expression. What was he gonna do to him? “And obviously I’m not letting you go either, you learned that earlier. And frankly I’m getting tired of repeating myself.”

Dew let out a small sob, but otherwise stayed silent, eyes drifting away. He felt Anton’s stare, his eyes felt like lasers burning into him, the events of earlier hitting him like a truck. He tried to escape, and he was so close.

“I don’t know what terrible thing you thought I would do if I knew you were trans, but I’m not like that. I’m not a monster.” Pretty ironic coming from the guy who kidnapped someone with the intent of turning him into his lab rat. “If you need like, hormones or something, I’ll give you that. You’re my test subject but you’re still human. I want you to stay happy and comfortable for the most part, you know? This factor would just interfere with the experiments.” When Dew still didn’t answer, Anton sighed. Which made Dew flinch, which made Anton feel even more… guilty?

“…If it makes you feel any better, I’m trans too.” Anton had never come out to another person before, besides his mentor.

“Really?” Dew’s head snapped up, surprised. He had certainly never expected that to be his reaction.

“Yeah,” Anton sighed. “And it’s not healthy for you to wear that binder for that long, you should know that.”

“…Yeah I know.”

“Okay,” Anton rolled his eyes. “So why didn’t you tell me sooner? Why didn’t you ask for help?”

“Because you’re a fucking weirdo scientist who kidnapped me.”

“Seriously—”

“I want my binder back- please.”

“No can do, Dew. Sorry, I had to get rid of all your old clothes.”

“What? Why?”

“Relax, I can get you a new one if you really need it, though, you know, top surgery would be more optimal.” Dew could not believe what he was hearing.

“Wait, you could get me top surgery?”

“Yeah, I performed it on myself years ago. It’s no big deal really, I have lots of serums that make healing go faster, and makes everything less painful too. I know what it’s like to be dysphoric—”

“I want it.”

“You sure?”

“Yes! Yes I want it.”

“…I guess I’m not in a huge rush to start the experiments just yet…” Dew stared in disbelief. Was this real? Was this a trick? “But Dew, there’s something else I need to talk to you about.” Oh. Just as fast as Dew’s weird excitement came, it was gone and replaced with dread.

“W-What?”

“You tried to escape earlier.” Shit. “I was going to punish you for it, but I changed my mind.”

“O-oh…” Dew gulped.

“That was your freebie, any other escape attempt, or attempt to hurt me, or attempt to communicate to anyone outside, you’ll regret it. Is that clear?”

“Y-yes,” Dew shuddered under his gaze. No way in hell was he giving up just like that, but he’d keep his thoughts of escape to himself now. He just had to wait until the right moment came.

. . .

Anton “scheduled” the surgery for tomorrow, whatever that meant. It’s not like he had a real job or other responsibilities. Dew wondered how this guy could even afford a place like this, with all this expensive equipment and science stuff. Were his experiments being funded by an outside source? Oh god, that was a terrifying thought, the government being behind all this. Dew would have to ask about that later.

Everything felt so surreal. It always had, but now it was different. He didn’t know what he expected from his captor anymore, not after today.

Anton had told him he wouldn’t “punish” him for trying to escape earlier, pretending to understand what he was going through and that he’d “been there.” But he also warned, in his usual cryptically threatening ways, that if Dew makes any more escape attempts, there will be consequences. And that he didn’t want to know what Anton would do to him.

He also remembered earlier, when Anton was showing Dew all of those terrible experiments and lab equipment, and hinting at all of the terrible things he would do to Dew once he starts experimenting on him. He remembered what he was really here for, and that terrified him. No matter how “kind” Anton sometimes seemed, for some reason, he was still a stranger who wanted to hurt Dew. He was still the guy who took him from his friends and home.

And now he wanted to give Dew something he’s always wanted, his whole life, that he never expected to get, at least anytime soon. He worked a dead-end minimum wage job; he couldn’t possibly afford anything like this, and now it was being handed over to him like it was no big deal— from his abductor, no less. It didn’t make any sense. Anton took Dew’s life away, but he still wanted to keep him happy and comfortable in his body? His body that was surly to be changed by these experiments anyway? What was the point of all this?

Maybe it was because Anton’s trans too, and it would be easier for him if Dew was comfortable in his body. It’d be easier for him if he gave something Dew had always wanted, so he’d have some leverage over him— some reason for Dew to be in his debt. Dew knew that his captor wanted him to trust him, to be compliant in being experimented on, for some demented reason. But Dew wasn’t going to let that happen. He wasn’t ever going to give up his freedom for this guy, hell, he didn’t even know what the scientist’s goal was for him.

But now Anton had suggested that Dew get top surgery, and who was he to decline an offer like that? Dew knew it was probably a way to manipulate him, but he didn’t care. He’d always wanted this, and now, even if it was a sick and twisted way, he was happy he was getting it. He was still planning on not sticking around this place, escaping the next chance he got. But he also wasn’t going to pass up this opportunity. Maybe if he kept learning more things about Anton, or vice versa, he’d keep going easy on him.

After all, he needed Anton to trust him, if he was ever going to get a chance to escape.

Dew didn’t know what time it was now, but it had to be pretty late. Anton told him he’d leave him alone for the rest of the day, that he should rest from the events from earlier. He tried that, but his mind was too active. He obviously couldn’t rest knowing what was going to happen to him tomorrow, so he was once again alone with his thoughts for a few hours until he heard the familiar footsteps coming towards the room.

Anton unlocked the door and walked in, holding a sandwich and some water. Dew hesitantly looked up from his spot on the bed, still terrified of the man.

“Here,” Anton said, holding the food out for Dew to take it, who chose to glare at the scientist instead. “Seriously? If I wanted you drugged, I’d just stick a needle in your arm. Just eat it.” He emphasized that by ripping a part off the sandwich and eating it himself, showing Dew that it was safe. He wondered how much longer Dew would be stubborn about not trusting his food.

As Dew ate, Anton kept staring. He did that a lot, Dew noticed. Dew tried to stare back, but the eye contact was way too uncomfortable sometimes.

“You really don’t talk much, do you?” Anton asked.

“I dunno.”

“When was your last T shot?” Shit. Dew wanted to avoid this today, but he supposed it was inevitable. He knew he needed to stay on schedule, but he really didn’t want this guy around him with needles, even for good reasons.

“…A week ago.” There was no point in lying about it though.

“Oh, so you need one today, then?” Anton asked. Dew nodded. “Alright.” The scientist left the room, locking the door behind him, and arrived shortly after with the stuff.

Dew, excited for something familiar in his routine since all this happened, was also terrified because that scientist was holding a needle again. The only other person he’d let give him his T shot was his doctor the first day, and then only he could. It was still hard for him, having to inject himself with a needle, but it was better than anyone else doing it.

Dew reached out to take the syringe, “I can do it,” he said.

“Dew, you’re shaking. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“W-well I don’t want you to do it!”

“Why not?” Was it really not obvious?

“I- It’s my T shot, I’ve done it like a million times before! I’ve been doing this for over three years now— just let me do it.”

Anton knew how scared his test subject was of needles, for reasons he didn’t understand. He supposed it would be easier to let Dew do it, considering he’d done it all those times before. But he still didn’t want Dew to get away with everything he wanted. His test subject would have to learn to do as Anton says.

“I’ll do it. You need to learn not to resist me. I won’t always go easy on you like today, you know.”

“Fine,” Dew said through gritted teeth. “Just get it over with.”

“We also need to work on your little fear of needles you have.” Anton said, prepping the needle and bringing it closer as Dew flinched. “It certainly makes things much harder than it needs to be.”

“I get it.” Dew sucked in a shaking breath as Anton rolled up his pants to expose his thigh. He was shaking in fear, he realized, Anton was right about that.

“Why are you so scared of needles anyway?” Anton asked as he plunged the needle into Dew’s leg.

“I- I dunno.” Dew squeezed his eyes shut, wishing this would go faster. Anton’s grip tightened on him as he leaned away, trying to stop the tears from flowing.

“Weird.” When Anton was done, he stood and started to leave. Dew let out a sigh of relief, finally alone.

“Asshole,” Dew whispered under his breath, thinking Anton couldn’t hear. That wasn’t the case, as the scientist suddenly whirled around and took Dew’s wrist in a grip, turning his test subject to face him.

“I let your escape attempt earlier slide because you’ve only been here only two days, and I… felt a bit of remorse. Gender dysphoria’s a bitch, so I’m trying to get rid of that obstacle for us. But know, I can do anything to you. You’re still just my test subject, know your place. If you try to escape, you will wish you didn’t.”

“J-Jeez okay, s-sorry!” Dew stuttered. Anton released his grip and exited the room.

“Get some rest, big day tomorrow.” The scientist said, shutting the door and locking it behind him.

. . .

Dew could hardly sleep that night, his mind racing with thoughts of the surgery. It was really happening, wasn’t it? A part of him knew he shouldn’t trust his captor, especially with something like this. What if he was lying? What if it was a trick to get Dew to agree to some terrible experimentation? Dew had to admit, it didn’t matter if he thought Anton was lying or not, because he was still going to accept that offer. There was a small chance that Anton was telling the truth, that he’d give Dew something he’d wanted all his life, and Dew wasn’t going to decline.

Besides, if Anton was that desperate to experiment on Dew, he could easily force his test subject to do anything without being able to stop him.

Dew realized it had to be Monday by now, and that his friends and coworkers were sure to notice he was gone. That gave him some hope, that maybe he’d be rescued soon. He just had to keep waiting it out, as he kept telling himself. He’d see Hayden, Layla and Sawyer again soon, and maybe tell them what he’d been waiting to for so long. He didn’t realize how much he missed them.

Dew didn’t get a lick of sleep that night. He was used to nights like that, he’d always been a sort of insomniac. He hoped Anton wouldn’t notice, but that was unlikely. It was morning before he knew it, and the clicks of the locks took Dew out of his racing mind.

Dew didn’t wait under the bed after Anton entered the room this time. He timidly crawled out before Anton said anything, too full of energy to stay still any longer.

“Big day, Dew.” Anton said with a big, unsettling grin on his face. “You excited?” Dew gulped. What was he thinking, trusting this maniac like this against his better judgment?

“Y-yeah,” Dew said. “I guess.” Anton’s eyes narrowed, looking his test subject up and down.

“Did you get any sleep last night?”

“Um, n-not really?”

“Huh. I’ll deal with that later. C’mon, let’s go then.”

“W-wait, I wanted to ask something, i-if that’s okay.” Dew fidgeted nervously with the hem of his sweater, and when Anton made a ‘go on’ gesture, he continued. He made sure to choose his words slowly and carefully. “I know I… I remember what you said yesterday. But um- I uh, I’m wandering if I can make a phone call? To- to tell my friends I’m okay… I d-don’t want them to worry about me. I miss them.”

That was at least half of the truth. Anton looked in a much better mood than yesterday, so maybe he’d recognize Dew’s sorrow and let him say goodbye to his friends, hopefully not realizing that Dew’s real plan was to somehow tell them he was in trouble and get someone to track the phone call.

“Dew,” it turned out that Anton had seen right through Dew’s half-assed plan, suddenly looking serious with his cold gaze locked onto his test subject. “Forget about them. Your home is here now, you’re not leaving. If I have to repeat this one more time, you’ll regret it. Understand?” Dew looked away, shuffling on his feet and trying to think of anything to say to convince his captor to go easy on him.

The silence seemed to anger Anton more, grabbing Dew’s chin in his hands, tilting his head up to look at him. It was intense, every time Dew made eye contact with the scientist, it was intense. Something about him, something about his eyes- it didn’t feel human. Dew didn’t know how to describe this feeling, but it terrified him. He felt like prey cornered by a predator, as if it was playing with its food. He remembered Anton asked him a question, and quickly nodded his head before he could scare him further.

“Say it. Say it and mean it.” When Dew hesitated, Anton moved his hand to rest on his test subject’s throat, squeezing lightly. It didn’t hurt, but the threat was known.

“I-I won’t leave,” Dew forced out, his mind screaming at him not to let himself believe it. “I won’t try to escape or- or contact anyone for help. Or ask to contact my f-friends, or anything like that.” When Anton still looked at him expectantly, Dew knew what he had to say next, though he was never going to mean it. “I-I’m your test subject now. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Good,” Anton released his grip and turned away towards the door, seemingly going back to normal as if none of that terrifying encounter had just happened. “Let’s go already.”

Dew followed Anton out the door, after he took the chain off his ankle and tied rope around his wrists and ankles this time, so he wouldn’t run. Dew was too sleep deprived and strangely excited to care about that terrifying lack of mobility out there, causing him no way to escape.

Dew once again reminded himself this was probably a manipulation tactic, and the odds were more than likely Anton was just going to preform some fucked up experiment on him instead. He remained cautious, glancing to the exit, reminding himself of yesterday. Reminding himself the same plan wouldn’t work, he’d have to think of something different another day, when he got a different chance.

They arrived at that operating table, and Anton stood to the side, gesturing Dew to lay down, to which he timidly did.

“So, um, h-how are you gonna do this?” Dew asked nervously as Anton walked around the table, picking up a few restraints. “It- it won’t be painful or anything, right?”

“You won’t feel a thing,” Anton said, smiling as he started restraining Dew to the table. He strapped his arms and legs down, making it impossible for his test subject to move. Once Dew realized what was happening, his struggles came too late, the terror of his situation finally catching up to him.

“W-What’s with the restraints?” Dew asked, voice shaking. He almost didn’t want to know the answer.

“It helps me relax,” Anton said nonchalantly, moving out of Dew’s line of sight.

“Okay, that makes absolutely zero sense, but whatever.” Dew tried to calm his nerves, but it felt impossible when all he could think about was this all being a trick to get him to agree to being directed like some alien’s research specimen.

“Calm down, I won’t hurt you, you know.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Dew continued struggling against his better judgment, hating being restrained like this. “Th-This isn’t a trick, right?”

“Dew, if I wanted to experiment on you, I’d just do it. It wouldn’t matter if you agree to it or not, because you’re mine. But no, this isn’t a trick. I’m not like that. You want top surgery, right?”

“Yeah!—”

“Great, then stay still.” Anton brought another dreaded syringe in Dew’s line of sight, and he held his breath in anticipation. Of course he knew this was coming, and he honestly sighed with relief knowing he’d be knocked out soon. He realized Anton could easily just operate on Dew while he was fully awake and conscious, feeling every cut, incision, and pain that came with it.

Dew closed his eyes as he felt the injection, and slowly started drifting away. The last thing he heard before succumbing to the anesthetic was a soft, “Goodnight, Dewey,” and then he was out.

. . .

Dew woke up a few seconds (hours) later, back in the room he’d been stuck in, lying snugly in bed and covered in the softest of blankets. His mind was groggy, and he could barely sense someone standing over him. There was pain, but it was dull, hardly noticeable. He honestly felt comfy there, relaxed and warm and without that blinding fluorescent light that would always shine in his eyes.

Right.

Dew slowly opened his eyes and tried to move into a sitting position, but found his body far too weak, and also felt a strange weight off his chest. That made sense. He felt a firm hand moving to hold him down to the bed, telling him he needed to rest. That was probably a good idea.

When Dew’s mind cleared enough to remember what was going on, he almost couldn’t believe it. His chest was flat, they were gone. He had just gotten something he’d always wanted.

Then why was he filled with so much dread?

Dew should be happy. He should be relieved. No more gender dysphoria. No more hiding in oversized hoodies or being forced to wear a binder all day. He was finally in a body that felt like his, he wasn’t trapped anymore. But yet he was, in a completely different way.

He should be with his friends right now, laughing and smiling and celebrating. Hayden would be holding his hand with his pet ball python on his shoulder, cheering him up and lightening the mood as he always would. Layla would be lovingly info-dumping about a special interest of hers, as usual, but in a way that made him feel loved as well, with her cat purring in his lap. Sawyer… He’d definitely be there too, cracking jokes and playing video games in the corner, too awkward for his own good, but that’s what Dew loved about him.

But that wasn’t what was happening. Dew was all alone and afraid in a scary place with the man who kidnapped him. He wasn’t with his friends, he wasn’t celebrating or eating cake or hugging his friends or listening to music. He was alone.

His friends must’ve been worried sick. Dew wondered if anyone was looking for him. He didn’t know what to feel, he’d always wanted this but… not like this. None of it was right, he didn’t belong here and he had to leave. He had to tell everyone the good news, he had to tell them that he—

Anton was in the room, and Dew almost felt like he could hear his spiral. He forced himself to calm down and stop thinking about home, it was too painful right now. He needed something real, something tangible to latch onto, otherwise he’d deteriorate.

“I’m th-thirsty,” Dew rasped. That was a good start. Focus on anything else.

Anton handed him a glass of water that must’ve been on the nightstand, and Dew gulped it down eagerly, ignoring the sudden sleepiness he felt, and the way his eyelids felt far too heavy to keep open all of a sudden.

. . .

The next week was spent with Dew resting in bed, relying on his captor for everything, and it felt humiliating. He absolutely hated it.

The scientist told him that the healing process would go much faster than usual, because of what could only be described as some sort of healing potion he had concocted. Dew didn’t care for science, and he certainly had no interest in listening to Anton explain it, much less trying to understand what he was explaining.

But he was right, the recovery was quick. Though, Dew was filled with drugs and painkillers and even sedatives, after he resisted succumbing to the sleepy effects of the healing concoction and falling asleep.

What was worse, was that when Dew was awake, he could hardly move anyway. The first few days of recovery was spent relying on Anton for everything. Being hand fed food, water, having to be carried to the bathroom, he hated being so dependent on the guy holding him captive.

It was a few days after the surgery, when Anton came into Dew’s room to feed him. Dew hated to admit it, but he was starting to get lonely by himself, and started to look forward to when Anton would come to see him. It wasn’t like he had anyone to talk to or anything to do besides stare at the ceiling and count the seconds.

“You hungry?” Anton asked, a bowl of chicken noodle soup in hand.

“Yeah,” Dew said, getting used to this new routine. He was excited for when he’d finally be recovered enough to do, well, anything for himself again. And sleep under the bed, away from the open space, bright lights, and the scientist.

Anton sat at the edge of the bed and helped Dew sit up, taking a spoonful of the soup and raising it to Dew’s mouth. He hated this, it was excruciatingly hard not to curse his captor out whenever he fed him like this, but he realized it only helped gain Anton’s trust. Which of course, he needed.

Dew sighed and moved his mouth to the spoon, eating the contents of it. He felt like a doll Anton was playing with, or some animal he was training to be nice and docile, not the wild animal yearning for freedom that it was.

Dew learned to just let Anton do what he wanted, and it was easier to just get it over with than let it ride out forever. Arguing with the scientist never worked, so what was the point? When Dew was done eating, instead of Anton getting up to leave, he began to speak.

“It’s been a few days, you probably need a bath, huh?” Hell the fuck no.

And then Dew was being carried to the bathroom, helped out of his clothes, and gently set in the bathtub. He hated absolutely everything about this. The scientist seemed to not notice- or care- about Dew flinching as he raised his hands to Dew’s head.

“Relax, Dew,” Anton said gently, carding his hands slowly through Dew’s fluffy hair as he washed it thoroughly. Dew hated that he let himself lean into the touch (he blamed that on the drugs), the only nice touch he had gotten since he’d been thrown into this place.

It wasn’t the worst thing in the world. He was almost fully submerged under the water, his body not visible under the bubbles. Dew closed his eyes, imagining himself anywhere else, with anyone else doing this to him. He felt a warm rag slowly wiping away the grime on his face, wincing as he let it happen. He couldn’t help but find it relaxing when Anton poured warm water over his head, rinsing away the shampoo from his hair.

And then it was time for Anton to check how his body was healing, which was fine with Dew because he didn’t really feel any gender dysphoria anymore. After the bath, Anton helped Dew stand and gently wrapped a towel around his body, and used another towel to dry his hair off.

It all felt so surreal, once again. Why was his captor being so nice to him? Why did he care so much about how Dew felt about any of this, about his mental well being? Was he trying to manipulate Dew into wanting to stay here? Because it was… Not working.

Sure, it was nice. And Dew didn’t remember the last time he’d been treated like this, without having to worry about responsibilities like work or chores. But he was still being held against his will. And he could not let himself forget about his status here, as a test subject. As the week went on, and that healing stuff did its magic, Dew was only filled with more dread for the future. He could tell that Anton was getting antsy too, excited to finally be able to start experimenting on his little lab rat.

Besides eating, using the toilet, and the few baths he was given, Dew spent most of his recovery from the surgery unconscious. He argued against it, but Anton told him it meant the healing potion— what Dew chose to call it— was doing its job.

Dew guessed it could be worse. He was kinda happy he was unconscious for most of his recovery, in a strange way. Dew hated being in pain, and sleeping it away basically meant it was never there to begin with. He didn’t like the fact that he was losing count of the days though, and was more than frustrated that Anton refused to give Dew a calendar.

It was about a week and a half since the surgery, and Dew was already fully back to normal. He reminded himself that he was supposed to be scared of Anton, and started sleeping under his bed again to avoid the guy. Whatever terrible experiments the scientist was planning would surely start soon, and Dew was more than terrified. He just hoped they wouldn’t be too painful, and that he’d get out of here soon. Maybe this whole experience would just end up being free top surgery and a small vacation from work, and then he’d get rescued and could forget any of this ever happened. That would be nice.

One more thing lingered in the test subject’s mind. He didn’t understand why Anton was so adamant on taking his clothes and belongings away from him. It wasn’t like he was too picky about what Dew wore now anyway, just a few different sweaters and sweatpants when he wasn’t bedridden in recovery. But there had to be a reason, right?

Dew hummed some of his favorite songs to himself, missing his music. Despite everything, he hated being alone. He couldn’t stop thinking about his friends now, wishing he had spent more time with them the week before he was taken. He just wanted to go home.

—

this chapter was not very whumpy but like, necessary for the story and stuff. now that the boring stuff is out of the way, the test subject can actually start being experimented on soon :) fun stuff.

taglist: @whumpinthepot @shywhumpauthor @whump-me-all-night-long @whump321 @fuckcapitalismasshole @sorry-i-spaced @theelvishcowgirl

let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

50 notes · View notes

crash-bump-bring-the-whump · 1 year

Text

Dimitri whump? Did someone want Dimitri whump?

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five

TWs: hypothermia, captivity, torture, beating, self sacrifice, fear, starvation mention, near death experience, being stripped (strictly in a fixing hypothermia context)

True to his word, Dimitri had been taken next.

When the strikes with the bloodied metal rod had only earned the guards a vicious, leaping headbutt, they started talking strategy. Boots between his shoulder blades and on his wrists kept Dimitri pinned to the floor. He didn't bother to temper his expression when they mentioned the freezer.

Dimitri hadn’t wanted to risk them deciding to choose Mariano over him. He had only just gotten to sleep again after a fitful night. Waves of pain kept ripping him from his rest whenever he tensed up from whatever his dreams held. It was worth it, to ensure that Mariano would be spared.

“Oh? Did we finally figure out what breaks the fearless Dimitri?” One taunted, gripping Dimitri by his biceps. “Not a fan of the cold? Does a little ice make you nervous?”

He was dragged through the warded hallway, fighting against their hold the entire way. They wanted to feel him struggle. They wanted to know that they had found a foothold to start breaking him down.

Mariano was lucky his little pained noises were sort of cute.

“Rather be locked in the freezer than have to hear your voice.” Dimitri growled, rearing to headbutt the guard again as the other opened the freezer door. A third caught him in the hip with the rod, sending Dimitri staggering. The first one shoved his boot into Dimitri’s back, sending him forward. He stumbled, trying to catch his balance as the door slammed shut behind him.

“Alright then, we’ll see you later!” The one who’d kicked him called. They all walked off. He was alone.

Silence wrapped around Dimitri at the same time as the cold did. It wrapped its fingers around him, around his chest. It squeezed teasingly. A threat.

Dimitri huffed. He crouched down, in the middle of the freezer. Soles of his boots to the floor, nose tucked to his knees. He reached up and started to loosely braid his hair. He didn’t have a hair elastic, but it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t be moving much anyway. He wrapped his arms around himself, hands tucked up under his biceps.

This was going to hurt horribly in just an hour. His skin had already begun to crawl. His pulse had started to pick up.

It would be fine. Mariano had been beaten into the floor more times than Dimitri had thought he could handle. He wouldn’t have been able to survive this on top of it all, much less another beating. So it fell on Dimitri to take it.

He just had to endure.

The others had to be there soon. Laredo, Izan, and Manuel wouldn’t leave them here to rot. Bastian certainly wouldn’t either, not when he’d have felt the pact dampeners kick in. They’d show up and raze this whole place to the ground. Laredo would help Dimitri stand and walk, might even carry him if he was fucked up enough from the cold.

Laredo’s arms were always warm. He remembered the last time they’d shared a bed, and he’d wound up as Laredo’s teddy bear. He thought about how comfortable he’d been with Laredo against his back, pulled flush against the other mage. He missed it.

He thought about how Mariano had felt when he’d held him. His own arms were bony, lanky. His ankles were already aching from the air. Mariano was soft and warm, though. The muscle on him was nice, it made him pretty comfortable to cuddle up against. His hair smelled good too, even after days of torture. Not flowery, like his shampoo, just…nice. He smelled like home. It all warmed Dimitri’s face.

It couldn’t last, though.

He started to shiver, taking deeper breaths as his hips started to cramp. This part of hypothermia was the most uncomfortable. The aches were only just settling in, and his mind hadn’t yet adjusted to the idea that this was how it was going to be. There would be no relief in the near future. No matter how many times he’d repeated this section of training for Luis, or was forced into it after disobeying an order, he never could get used to it.

His traitorous body still expected to be coddled.

The shivering was getting harder. Ideally he would’ve been up and moving, but after days of only minimal food and water and sleep, he didn’t exactly have energy to spare. “That’s alright.” He whispered to himself. He couldn’t see his breath in his little huddle yet. “I’m alright.” He didn’t need to wear himself out by panicking.

They didn’t want him dead, just like they didn’t want Mariano dead. They both had valuable information. They could last. Mariano was strong.

He was even stronger.

Dimitri was shaking so hard that it was hard to keep his balance, now. He’d have to give in eventually, and expose more of himself to the icy surfaces. He’d have to accept that this would be sped up at some point. Not yet, though.

His teeth had started chattering, filling the silence of the freezer. His shoulders jumped and tensed with every wave of shivers that rolled through him. Every noise that escaped him pissed him off more. The irritation that roiled in his chest didn’t help to warm him like it usually did.

Reflexively, Dimitri tried to pull his magic to his fingertips. The wards held firm. All he did was frustrate himself.

It was easier to think that this was just some punishment, though. It was easier if he’d done this to himself. He sort of did, in a way. He’d elected to do this, he’d tipped his hand. He was doing this for Mariano.

Why was it not easy?

He’d watched Mariano offer himself up like it was nothing. Was he so out of practice that he’d lost the mentality for this? Had he lost the grit? Had prison made him soft too?

Dimitri tucked his face further into the alcove of his knees and torso. The cold air was creeping in. He could feel it in his nose, crawling down his throat.

Why was this so much worse than he remembered?

Tiny whimpers escaped with every shiver, now. He needed to stay in that crouch for as long as possible. As soon as he fell, it would all be downhill from there. It always was.

Dimitri’s skin ached. His back ached. His arms and legs ached–it was like he’d never be warm again. Like he’d never get to stretch out and relax. He almost lost his balance, needing to readjust his stance. They wouldn’t let him freeze to death.

It was still unbearable.

He could do this. He could endure. He’d barely been in there for an hour. It was fine. One time he’d done a stint of three for Luis, after refusing to be called off of a target.

Dimitri wavered.

It was only for a moment, just a small lapse of endurance. It didn’t matter. Dimitri’s heart leaped into his throat as he was forced from his sad attempt at conserving heat. He gasped as he fell backwards, catching himself with his hands. The chill lanced up through his palms, through his wrists. He felt the cold ripping through his shirt like it wasn’t even there.

He needed to stand. He needed to get his boots against the floor, and the rest of him off of it. He tried to prop himself up more, to get back up like he always did. He was a war mage. He was Dimitri, one of the longest lasting war mages. His name struck fear into the hearts of people who knew about him. He didn’t stay down.

Dimitri’s hands slipped. He hit the ground again. He couldn’t get back up. His arms were cramping up too badly. His legs trembled too hard.

His whole back was laid out along the awful floor. His body heat was being leached away, faster than he could believe. Did it always happen so fast? His stomach trembled. Even his breathing stuttered and shook. Every inhale chilled him further. It brought the cold deeper into him, undoing all his hard work.

The door cracked open. One of the guards poked his head in. It was the one he’d headbutted earlier. “Ready to come out? It’s been a while. I brought dinner.” He had a cup and a paper plate with half a sandwich in his hands. “All I need from you is a little bit of info, and then we can get you warmed up and Mariano to a doctor.”

“F-f-fuc-ck y-you.” Dimitri stuttered, suddenly aware of how hard it was to talk. His throat was unbearably tight. His jaw didn’t want to move beyond the painful trembling.

“Alright then. Thought you could use a pick-me-up, but guess you still want to be difficult.” Dimitri yelped as water, cold water, was tossed onto him from the cup. It immediately soaked into his clothes, into his hair, and his skin crawled as it chilled.

The door shut again.

“Fu-fuc-ck…” Dimitri whispered as silence fell again, his stomach now gripped by more than just the cold. Dread started to creep in, winding through him. He could feel his magic ebbing, crawling deeper into his chest and chasing his waning body heat. “Fuc-ck th-this-s…” Something pricked at his eyes, and his chest hitched.

He wasn’t going to do this. This was not going to happen. He was not going to have some pathetic crying fit over water being thrown on him.

He could die here if they didn’t know what they were doing.

Dimitri finally managed to curl up on his side. His hands were stiff and aching. Even being pressed to his stomach didn’t help. He should technically strip, but there was no way to dry himself off. He wouldn’t give them the satisfaction anyway.

Another shudder ripped a sob from him. It was involuntary. Dimitri hated it. He hated it so much. It would’ve made his face flare hot from embarrassment, normally. As he was, he couldn’t even feel the heat.

He wanted to kill the guard who’d thrown water on him.

He knew he could hardly lift his arm.

Time melted away as more cracking, shaking noises escaped. Slowly, horribly, they died off. There was only silence, then, and Dimitri drifted in it. The harsh lighting of the bulb above dimmed as his eyes drooped closed.

Then hands, hands and shouting and movement. Someone was being called an idiot. Something warm was draped over him. The hands were strong as they lifted him off the freezer floor. There were three pairs, three people, all fussing over him. His hair was wrapped into a towel and away from his face. His clothes were pulled off of him, exchanged for new ones.

“Careful, careful. Don’t be too rough.” A distant voice said. “He could die if we’re not gentle.” Scolding. Manuel? Dimitri didn’t catch what was said next, too exhausted to keep following the conversation.

Warmth filled Dimitri’s awareness when he woke up next. He was still so cold, but his face was tucked up against what felt like a heater. His arm was draped over something soft and warm. His hair was down and dry. The smell of home filled his nose.

When Dimitri opened his eyes, he saw dried blood, black and flaking off of Mariano’s skin. His face was sweaty and flushed with what was probably a fever, given how unusually warm Mariano was. The other mage was still in the clothes he’d been wearing when they’d been taken. Rattling, struggling breaths eked past Mariano’s parted lips.

Looking further, Dimitri saw the bars of their cell. He felt the hard concrete beneath his shoulder and aching hip. His chest twisted. He’d been rescued, but not by the people he’d wanted.

Dimitri pressed his face back into Mariano’s shoulder.

Dimitri cried.

#whump #hypothermia #fear #kidnapping #captivity #torture #self sacrifice #near death experience #starvation ment #beating #dimitri #mage of violence #the cocaptives arc

65 notes · View notes