#and dont even worry about it - i dont even know who i am! i know no one and nothing and everything is a nebulous void!

[bby-deerling]

HIIIII!!!! As you know, ILYSMMM and I stg you are my ABSOLUTE FAVE ON HERE ❤️

I was hoping for Zoro, Law, Ace, Shanks, and Mihawk... with a reader who is just going through it, like straight up not having a good time. They are really down on themselves and are almost at their breaking point.

(It's me. I'm a reader, and this is a straight up self indulgent ask)

(Sfw/NSFW dealers choice)

(Also, if you are not comfortable writing this, a) I am so sorry, b) please do not feel like you even have to respond to this, and c) DONT HATE ME IM SO SORRY)

aww ilysm and i'm so sorry to hear that you're going through it, i'm sending you so much love </3! i could never ever hate you, i always look forward to all the little messages and comments you leave on my fics <3

i've written something similar before for how zoro + law (plus a bunch of other characters) would comfort you when you're feeling down, but here are some additional quick thoughts about ace, shanks, and mihawk <3

ace knows just how warm and loving his hugs are, and as someone who frequently needs words of reassurance himself, but is too prideful to outright ask for them, he knows exactly what you need to hear in order to calm down a bit. he's also good at shifting perspectives, and helps minimize your worries that seemingly feel like the end of the world.

when your sunny disposition fades, shanks notices your shift in mood immediately and tries to fix that with some good old-fashioned revelry. laughter and good times with good people is the best distraction from a crisis, and he hopes that showing you just how much he (and the rest of the crew) love you and enjoy spending time with you will help to you cheer up.

when mihawk notices that you've been isolating yourself, he can't help but pry and ask what's wrong. he's a quiet listener, and provides you with the basics to help keep yourself running; he takes over laundry, cooking, and other chores for the time being, to make sure you have as little burdens as possible weighing on you while you go through this rough patch.

<3

#one piece x reader #shanks x reader #mihawk x reader #dracule mihawk x reader #ace x reader #portgas d ace x reader #one piece drabble

[imwetforyourmom]

yall we hit the big 1000 😧‼️‼️

ok, im not one for any sappy shit or anything but I genuinely dont think I’d be where I am today without any of you guys. if I werent to be writing and talking to all of my favorite people I dont think I’d be in a great place.

I fucking love knowing that I have a thousand people here for me to comfort me, to support me and to always be here for me whenever I need it. i love knowing that I have a thousand friends with me whenever.

its so comforting because I know I have all of you when im feeling down or lonely. ive had really bad social anxiety majority of my life and havent had any good luck with friends, so knowing that I have a thousand people that look forward to me doing anything and that I have a thousand friends or a thousand people who went out of their way in their day to read my stories, to like them and follow me. I love knowing that you did that out of your own will and because you genuinely like me. I like knowing that I dont have to worry about being lonely or disliked or anything along the lines of that because i know I can always come to one of you

being here today, with all of these people reminds me just how adored/liked or loved I am just because of one of my hobbies. you guys like my writing, some of you even adore it, and knowing that I didnt force any of this makes everything so much better. I wouldnt be here today, where I am, how happy I am without any of you and I fucking adore that. without you guys I dont think I’d be as productive as I am, I dont think I wouldve ever pursued my writing, I dont think I wouldve ever tried writing. so knowing that each and every one of you helped me find the thing I enjoy most is so admirable, its amazing and I cannot thank any of you enough.

to the one whos been here since the start @luverboychris, you’re one of the only reasons im still as happy as I am today, you’re one of my bestfriends and I love you so fucking much. you’re the only reason I started writing on tumblr and you’re one of my favorite people 🫶🫶

to the one whos recently become my bestfriend @lovesodakid, I wouldnt have had as many laughs without you. you’re the funniest person ive ever met and im so grateful I can speak my true opinion without you judging me

to the one whos literally my favorite nick girl @nickgetsmewetter and one of the people I look up to, you’re a reason im excited to go onto tumblr everyday

to my idols, who inspired me to write and the reason I continue writing today @luverboychris, @hysteria-things and @worldlxvlys, you guys are literally one of the reasons I write today and continue to write

again, to @worldlxvlys, anytime im upset or feeling down I always go to your stories and read them. you’re one of my favorite creators on this app

im so fuckung grateful for each and every single one of you ❤️❤️

#1000 followers #sturniolo #mollys accomplishments

[rubywithecat]

Tokyo revengers men reacting to your attitude

Ran Haitani

“Hey pretty girl” he yelled at u when u were minding ur own business and walking on street. “Can I have ur number” he asked. “What a womanizer he is to casually wanna flirt with me”u thought. “Sorry I don’t have phone” U said as u rolled ur eyes and tried to continue walking but he blocked u with his body to walk further. “Damn that attitude” he laughed and before u even knew, he already grabbed ur phone from ur pocket and dialed his number and made a call to his. “Easy huh? Remember this is my number, love” he said. U reached his hand to grab ur phone back and shout “Hey! Are u a pickpocket? It’s is illegal to steal my phone” His head bent down to ur height and gave u ur phone back. “Ur blocked, asshole” u said angrily and walked away. “Hard to handle huh? U won’t get away with that” he smirked.

Rindou Haitani

He was hanging out with his friend when he was suddenly slapped by u. His eyes widened as he was surprised and has absolutely no idea about it. Then u said to him intensely “This is for breaking my friend’s heart, asshole”. “What—? What the heck r u talking about, lady?” He asked, narrowing his eyes. “Oh well. Now u wanna play victim?” U stepped forward daringly. He was just staring at us in confusion when ur fri ran quickly to u and grabbed ur arm. “Y/n!! What r u doing?? It’s not him!” She yelled in worry. “I know u wanna defend him but he doesn’t deserve-“ before u could finish, ur fri quickly said “he’s not my ex!” It shocked u and u felt embarrassed and guilty for doing that to the innocent guy. U slowly look at him in guilt “Sir… I am sooo sorry. Plz forgive me!” U bowed and quickly about to leave. “Hey, miss” he called. “Do u think u can just leave like that?” he made u look up and smirked. “Such a pretty girl. It doesn’t suit ur rude attitude tho. I will decide what u have to do in order to get my forgiveness”

Chifuyu

U were walking with ur pet dog in the evening in ur neighborhood when u suddenly became thirsty so u went into the shop to buy some water and left ur dog outside the shop, tied it’s leash on someone bike. When u walk out, he saw a guy trying to unleash ur dog and ur dog bit him. He screamed aloud. U quickly rushed there and yelled at him. “Hey! R u trying to steal my precious dog?” He was being accused and just looking at u speechless. “R u out of ur mind, miss? Ur dog here bite him and u r accusing me?” He stood up. U backed a step. “That’s— U were trying to steal so he bite?” He let out a sigh in disbelief “this is my bike, miss. I need to ride this bike to get back to home” He explained impatiently. “Whatever… here’s the money if u have to go to clinic for the wound” u felt guilty saying that but u still wanna deny it was ur fault. He grabbed ur hand and gave u back ur money. “I don’t need this. It’s fine” he stepped into his bike. “Wait— Umm… I know it’s my fault…I’m sorry” u finally said despite ur ego. He smiled and nodded. “Can I get ur number?Ah— don’t think other way—I just wanna— ah—“ u felt so embarrassed asking him and he laughed softly. “It’s ok, I know right?” He took a note from his pocket and write numbers and gave u. “Here” he smirked and u just lowered ur hand, starring at ground cuz u felt so shy to even look at him now u can’t believe instantly fall in love with him.

Izana

U were drinking so much alone cuz of stress. He had his eyes on u just because he doesn’t want a girl who is alone to be assaulted by perverts, not in front of him. U paid the bills and stood up to walk but u were nearly to fall cuz of u drank more than ur limit and u could barely see the ground clearly. U felt someone grabbed ur arms and said smth but u couldn’t hear clearly. He then repeated in louder voice this time. “Miss, can u even walk??” He asked. U pushed him with ur strength. “I can walk by myself. I dont need any help from perverts so get lost” u said, thinking he’s just like those creepy guys from bars. U took another step and now he didn’t grab u, so u fell on ur knees. “Ouch it hurts” u mumbled. “That serves u right, miss high ego” he commented as he wrapped his arms. U were angry so u tried ur best to stood up again and grabbed his shirt collar. U could smell alcohol and smoke from him as well but u realized u were staring at his pretty icy eyes for long and blushed. U quickly let go of his collar out of embarrassment “I will let u go this one time cuz ur pretty boy” u said awkwardly, and u could hear him laugh about it. U walked again and this time he caught u when u were about to fall again. “I don’t know how the hell u think u can even walk to the exist with this condition” he sarcastically said. He sighed “Let me help u” and carried u “hey! What the hell u think u doing??” U yelled but he ignored and walked to his car and put u on seat belt. “So miss, where is ur home?” He asked as he started engine. “No— I can’t go home like this my parent gonna fcking kill me” u said, worried. He laughed softly “wait so u still living with ur parent?” He asked. “Yeah? Is there anything wrong with that?” U side-eyed him. “I’m just kidding. Don’t be mad” he replied in giving up gesture. U looked at him for a sec and laughed cuz he seems cute. “My mum probably gonna like u” u said and u could feel him getting excited. “Do u wanna join for dinner?” U invited him. His eyes lighted up. “Can I?” U smiled “ofc but only if u want to and don’t get any other idea!” U said, embarrassed.

—

Hey loves! I hope u like this as well <3

I’m writing a few random characters that are in my mind so there might be less chance to see ur desire character. That’s why if u have any character in ur mind u can comment down below or ask me in request <33

Thanks a lot!! Any kind of support are very much appreciated ><

—

#tokyo revengers #tokyo rev headcanons #tokyo rev x y/n #tokyo rev x reader #ran haitani x reader #ran headcanons #ran x reader #ran haitani #rindou haitani #rindou x reader #bonten rindou #rindou x y/n #chifuyu x reader #chifuyu matsuno #tr chifuyu #izana kurokawa #izana x reader #izana x you #tokyo revengers izana #izana headcanons #chifuyu headcanons #rindou headcanons

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I'm frightened of you knowing who I am but, could you possibly give me your frank frankly theories pretty please idc if you only have like 2.1 I want them regardless of how many you have.

mayhaps?

ah man i wish i had some to give! i think all of my Frank theories (at present) are tied into other theory posts! he simply doesn't have a lot to chew on yet

#unlike say - wally or eddie - he doesn't have a lot of incriminating information #there's a bunch of little puzzle pieces: #the multiple hims in their house on the map / not having a backstory in his bio / im sure theres more but i cant recall it rn #but the little things we have so far are - imo - so disconnected thats it like. man idk what to do with these yet #i can very lightly speculate that he'll probably play a big role in 'looking behind the curtain' as it were #just since he's the serious Knowledge Guy #and i can imagine that out of everyone he's most likely to pursue the truth if he starts to Notice that things arent what they seem #i also imagine that that miiiiight clash with wally? #cause if frank goes 'holy shit none of this is real' its also likely that he might try to tear down the illusion / something similar #meanwhile wally seems deadset on Restoring the neighborhood and keeping things the same #could be conflict there! wait does that count as a theory? i may have lied to you #sorry my thought process works best when rambling - constant stream of thought can knock new things loose up there yk yk #rambles from the bog #homebogging #wh speculation #and dont even worry about it - i dont even know who i am! i know no one and nothing and everything is a nebulous void!

[mishapen-dear]

i know too fucking much about qsmp badboyhalo.

#and also. not enough #that one big summary of his Deal was like . 1k words. #and it brushed over so much shit #like his trust issues and the vacation arc and his criminal background (on qsmp) and the way he was the first to take protecting the #eggs seriously and i dont even KNOW enough about his relationship with maxo and the french that is a big blindspot for me but bad and max #(and foolish?) og founders of the theory bros the first people who started questioning cucurucho and then the french his family the people #who keep proving to be on his side over and over and i love it when he hangs out with pierre and talks create #and when he chills with antoine and helps fix the big spinning ring #and his WEIRD warrior's bond with etoiles (bad always gets along with the protectors have you noticed that #forever was the second big egg protector and baghera took care of pomme from the start and cellbit threw himself to the feds to try to help #the island and etoiles took the weight of the code attacks from bad's shoulders to his own in entirety. he respects them all a lot and i am #chewing him to pieces) #and his relationship with baghera!!!! she can read him so so well and he fucking trusts her enough to be dapper's mom #he may have felt weird about it and was jealous and :c because tahts HIS dapper but #he didn't kill her about it #or really do anything to discourage it #and he noticed her tear streaks and her leg and got Worried about the federation 'fixing' her and #genuinely he was so so happy when he realized she was back he went !!! mode #look. LOOK at these fucking tags. look back at the post. i can Keep Talking. #my point remains i know too fucking much about qsmp badboyhalo #shit and i didn't even TALK about his weird bullshit with foolish #i need a giant corkboard

[zedif-y]

sometimes its like my life is just one big call for help

#please worry about me. please worry about me please worry about me someone worry about me #fuck. fuck #why do i need to apolgize for being a person with thoughts and feelings and shortcomings #why does it feel like i owe the world an apology for being who i am #why does it feel like i need to make up for the fact that im me by giving everything i could ever give #like im sorry its me im giving you im sorry this is all i can give. im sorry that its too much or too little #im sorry its never exactly what is needed im sorry i cant be who even i want to be #i try i try so hard. but its not ever right i just cant. get it quite right #i dont know how to fix it anymore #i dont know how to fix me. i can see everything thats wrong but i dont know how to make it better. please help me make it better. #fuck #im exhausted #i dont know. i dont know i dont know i dont know #pretend you dont see this or maybe do . i dont know this is embarrassing. but this is my blog anyway so if you dont want to see- #-the most depressing shit ever like my Thoughts then maybe you should leave bc ill always be this pathetic its kind of my thing #ha #fudjdbdjdjdkehd #ok. bye

[vse-kar-vem]

how to write vent post title that does not come off as self-pitying and or accusatory (because it's NOT !)

#sorry tumblr is like a diary to me idk what i'll do w this blog after i (sigh) inevitably move on #either way #im convinced everyone hates me again :3 but realistically no one cares about me even enough to hate me im just stupid and self centred 💔 #if anything me TYPING these posts is actuvely turning people against me #again with the assumptions that people care enough to read these 😭 fhskfbhsjfkg #i hate that i care so much what people online think of me cuz irl it's like. whatever #but here there are so many cool people who i admire and would love to be friends with im always hyperparanoid of everything i do #and still i manage to overstep and come off as annoying #like obvs you're allowed to hate me even if you're someone i look up to like that's your perogative #but i hate worrying about IF anyone hates me #oughgh this is easier irl because usually people send off pretty clear signals if they dont like you #but online (esp with how prickly this fandom is) i don't know whether im being insecure and reading into things or whether people just don't #like me (which again is fine i would just rather know if anyone gets it) #i figure art is the one way i can get people to like me 💔 which sounds kinda pathetic because irl i KNOW im liked and capable! #fandom has just become such a big part of my personality that i cant detach my self worth from it #and i do love art and drawing and such i hate that even if i know people my stuff EYE dont and it doesnt mean anything or act as a signifier #of my friendships #wow .... i really am my own therapist ..... i should shut up #the industrial revolution and its consequences (jofandom) #i think these posts are half self exploration half ... almost self harm? because sometimes im so derogatory about myself on purpose in a #'you're worthless' way. but at the same time it's cathartic and i always feel better having probed at my feelings and gotten them in order #not to do a complete 180 but it's MY post and JO LONDON IN *12* DAYS!!!!!!!! AHH i'm sooo excited if it doesnt live up to my expectations i #may cry a little. and there will be another vent post from me ! #sometimes i wonder if anyone actually reads these 😭 #vee rambles

[skrunksthatwunk]

found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now #sigh.. i dont know. i dont know. #at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him #no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow? #it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my #best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker. #i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time. #but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh #he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him. #im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to #say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more? #just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am #and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him #and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him. #she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on. #she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken #but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him #and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not #like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him? #so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her #and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all #the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess #like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea. #but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.

[pissfizz]

I’m going to lose my mind oh my god I am so scared for this quincenera wtf

#NOT MINE BTW I MISSED MY CHANCE LMAO #but Jesus Christ family I’ve never met before flying in from Panama…. god I’m so scared #I’ve already been dealing with some wack ass imposter syndrome ass shit cuz of how I was raised this is gonna make it SO MUCH worse #I DIDNT EVEN KNOW PANAMANIANS GOT QUINCES #i was raised with almost zero influence from any culture whatsoever I wasn’t even raised close to that side of the family #and like I’m mixed with white but I can’t even use that as an excuse cuz the cousin who’s quince it is is also mixed #and that side of the family is super tied to the culture and they speak Spanish and shit #i don’t even speak Spanish even if the family from Panama doesn’t think ima. total embarrassment what if most of them don’t speak english #when I’m surrounded by white people 24/7 I feel like a total outlier but the second I’m around anyone else latine I feel like that but WORSE #i don’t speak Spanish I don’t know anything about the culture I’m from the fucking pacific northwest and do digital art and watch anime #i am so far completely removed from everything I’m gonna be sick #my grandma is already so judgy about stuff my uncle was even WORSE and made fun of the stuff that was too white or too American about me #my cousins throwing the party are the least of my worries cuz at least their mixed and second/third Gen too #but oh my god the family I’ve never met before I’m so scared I’m so scared #i was already thinking like. can I even call myself latine bc of how I was raised and how far removed I am from everything. I’m mixed so - #-should I just associate myself more with the white side of my family. am I being fraudulent by identifying with that term just bc I have - #-the blood is that even enough maybe that kid had a point when he said I shouldn’t count as hispanic if I don’t know spanish #and thinking about showing up to my cousins quince as. me. it’s terrifying it’s awful I want to go I want to meet these people I want to - #-celebrate my cousin and be happy for her but GOD what if everyone hates us and just tolerates us cuz we’re related to them #i would say we’re the black sheep of the family but I feel like white is more fitting cuz I feel like we’re just slightly brown white people #god god god I’m so stresssd out by this #is this a weird thing to be worried about is this stupid is this selfish #and to make matters worse I DONT KNOW WHAT TO GET HER FOR A GIRT #vent

[widevibratobitch]

.

#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa #something is Wrong lol #i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡 #and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches #all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now #but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit #and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on #to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back #like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend #i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect #i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back #but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms #or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations #or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings #or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af #because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff #im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility #i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn #but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself #and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc #i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself #and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it #i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do #i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it #and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person #<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation #of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡 #like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT

[bonesrbleaching]

had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what

#lolaa.txt #what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!' #'i wouldnt lie to you!' #okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time. #its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa #also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!' #yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up. #i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men #and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man #so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up. #and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face #that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense. #shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin #you dont have to worry about anyone else. #im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to #never really have #im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are #if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box #then when would you have any space for self discovery #youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats #and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that. #and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names #and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy #and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares. #and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look? #then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness. #SORRY RANT OVER. #im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric. #tw homophobia #tw transphobes

[hella1975]

my mum: you've been doing really good lately. every part of your life is really stable and you seem genuinely happy, it's great to see :)

me, who's felt like ive been going actually crazy bananas insane for months now: yeah haha

#sometimes i forget that 'being in total control of my emotions at all times' isn't just my cringe lore & is actually something im good at #like wdym my MUM said this. girl im experiencing horrors over here! #i got really offended by it? ilke i just smiled at her and agreed but inside i was like HELLOOOOO CAN ANYONE HEAR MEEEE #i just genuinely feel like i am so detached from myself and im entirely manipulative and i micromanage every facet of my personality #and change it day-to-day person-to-person and not in the Normal Human Way but in a crazy insane I Am Manipulating People Way #& it's a CONSCIOUS thing & like. idk who the real me is idk if there is a real me idk if id like her if i saw her idk if im a good person #but i look like im doing fine. i seem really stable and happy atm according to the person who knows me better than anyone #like that's the extent of my control on myself. even my mum cant tell. HUH #idk i feel like im being dramatic bc last week and this week ive definitely been feeling a lot better #and like maybe i was just having some sort of months-long episode but that doesnt negate the fact that while i was IN it no one could tell #not even the closest people to me that see me every day in the same house where im most vulnerable could tell #that's like. worrying surely. maybe. i think. whatever im just saying shit at this point #i always do this tho i go 'i fundamentally base my self-worth on how little i share vulnerability with people #and it's been a constant part of my personality since childhood that i dont talk about my feelings' and then i get SO pissed off #when people dont realise im going through shit. like girl what did you THINK was gonna happen. look inwards #hella goes home

[tokyoteddywolf]

22 isn't very much at all, I think.

#5am rambles #anyways ignore this as per usual im just thinking in a post that i'll delete soon. i just worry and writing it helps. #you ever wonder when you'll “grow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown? #that theres still more to learn in life and that the mistakes you make are just that? mistakes? #that you are still so very very young in a world that is so very very old? #im almost 23. barely a quarter of my lifespan. im still a child in a way- my brain not fully formed. #you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out? #I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt. #i was failed. and now im a failure. at almost not quite 23 years old. Maybe i wont be a failure in another few years. #i still have a while to go before I die. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. im just going to try my best. #I have time. I can learn. Grace and patience are not endless but damn if i dont try to figure things out #first step though is meds and therapy tho. we're done with the pity party. some things you just have to accept are okay #cuz my whole life i was taught that being emotional is a weakness. its pathetic and stupid to be upset or angry about anything. #any time i wanted to show i was upset or angry i was 'wrong'. i was 'selfish' and 'dramatic' #so i suppressed and pretended i was fine. that i wasnt weak and pathetic. that i was good and not an annoyance or burden. #i am not weak. i am not pathetic. i am fine i am fine i am fine you dont need to worry about the inconvenience at your door. #sometimes the shame is so much that i cant look at myself or even think i deserve help. that therapy is for people with real problems. #that i feel like ill just be told im like this for attention or dramatics. that im such a disappointment and selfish too. #ive been a “problem” my whole life to the point i dunno if i CAN be fixed. that anxiety eats me alive every day. #therapy is supposed to give you methods to cope #i dunno if it'll work though. I forget my appointments a lot. i struggle to talk sometimes. i may be autistic but its hard to get diagnosed. #emotions are so hard to figure out.

[ufolvr]

"why are you saying piccolo and cell are asexual isn't that kinda shitty since they can reproduce asexually and-" 1- piccolos species hasn't fucked in like 300 years 2- 99% of the characters you ship cell with shares DNA with them so you might as well fucking not I guess.

#'but piccolo-' yeah man i know. i know. #with cell its like. idk its fucking weird. who are you going to ship them with anyways. literally everyone is there. what now. #like cellza is like. well its not even fun but also frieza is in there you know this yeah. like theyre biologically related at least #dont go there dont make Me go there #also the bitch was raised in a lab to fucking kill people i dont think gero was worried about coding bisexuality in that thinf #📡 incoming transmission 📡 #as mentioned before. i am jittery and insane so i apologize for my erratic behavior

[tortademaracuya]

Lalala im just venting in the tags

#im so sad lately and i hate it #wanting to cry out of nowhere. being unable to even take care of myself or others #i just want to lay down and rot while these feelings of loneliness overwhelm me #i know i should ask for help and part of me wants to. but the one i reached out didnt turn out okay #i dont want to be the type of friend that only asks for stuff #and iknow i mustnot be very fun like this. soasking for people to keep me company feels selfish #not only that but. admitting how i am...feels pathetic everytime myfriends ask how im doing #its pathetic to admit ican barely take care of myself because ima little sad. that i cant find joy in anything or do the things i have to do #everything feels so tiring and wrong and lonely. eachday that passes i feel worse #even in a group of friends i feel so lonely and thats unfair to the. who havent done no wrong #my head is just broken and i feel like i should just disappear so everyone dont have to worry about me #haunted.txt