#and doesn’t it fucking make you angry as hell that the FIRST HOKAGE the most important dude in their history had an Uzumaki wife

[theshadowrealmitself]

“They don’t care about being uzumaki’s-“ and isn’t that sad? in a world where everyone else who’s from a clan knows their clan intimately and has all these customs and history to make them feel closer to their family, the Uzumaki clan is just lonely orphans scattered to the winds?

Isn’t it sad that Naruto lives in a village where his father’s face overlooks it, everyone who knows his dad says he looks like him, wanting to be a hokage is seen as following his dad’s footsteps, that one of his teachers was his dad’s student and the other teacher was his dad’s teacher, and yet Naruto doesn’t have his mom’s chains, or her hair, all he shares with her besides a love for ramen is the burden of being a jinchuuriki and a clan name that he doesn’t care about ?

Isn’t it sad that there used to be a clan and now there’s no one left to mourn or care about them, isn’t it sad that the last two members might as well be considered clan less since there’s nothing tying the two of them together? Isn’t it sad that that 3 separate Uzumaki’s had to bear the burden of being a jinchuuriki for a village that didn’t even bother to remember them? Isn’t it sad?

#and doesn’t it fucking make you angry as hell that the FIRST HOKAGE the most important dude in their history had an Uzumaki wife #and no one bothered to remember her #uzumaki clan #Naruto #naruto uzumaki #karin uzumaki #kushina uzumaki #mito uzumaki #anyways this is my self indulgent blog so they do care about being Uzumaki’s #cry me a river about it

[dxmmymxmmywrites]

Old Flames

Tsunade Senju x F! reader smut

Warnings: cursing, angst at the beginning, oral sex, scissoring

Very excited to be writing for my bi-awakening queen Tsunade 🥰🥰🥰 love her so much, she needs more content AND appreciation

This is also less smutty than I usually do, so I may come back to this later when life allows to add more to the spicy bits

The sky is dark with the coming storm when you make your walk to the Hokage’s office. It’s the perfect environment to match your inner turmoil, broiling over with too many uncertainties for your liking.

You kept away as long as you could. And honestly, it probably wasn’t the best decision. Now you were just angry with yourself for not coming sooner and so sexually frustrated you could palpably feel your need aching between your legs.

You had done whatever you could in your early days as a Kunoichi. You had always been a little power hungry, but with a desire to actuate positive change in the leaf village. It had led you through to an established reputation as a feared ninja across the Shinobi nations, and along the way you had manage to leave some good behind you.

For some, it had to be hard to imagine you as a naive young woman in your youth. You were hardened by the world quickly, but it didn’t stop you from holding your favorite people very close to your heart.

The new Hokage happened to be one of them. Tsunade Senju.

The two of you had grown up with the same peers, and had observed each other from afar when you were placed in your Genin teams. When you did interact more often, you became quick friends and confidants— two hotheaded and insanely smart girls that were ready to encourage the other to take on the world.

It was a brighter time, before tragedy had shaped you both. Tsunade losing both her brother and promised lover nearly destroyed her, and you did what you could to comfort her when you could.

It became a new way to bond with her teammates, as you all took the time to check in on her, but it would shape your view of Tsunade most.

Despite everything, she still held so many qualities you admired despite losing her faith for some time. She was a damn hard worker, brilliant as ever, and had a kind soul once you got past her shell. It made you weak every time you thought about how you realized your feelings for the first time.

It was a classic case of someone falling head over heels for their best friend. With this of course came the companion cliche of not wanting to ruin your friendship by confessing your love in any way. So you kept your thoughts to yourself as long as you could.

And it was painful. But eventually, they came to a head at the worst possible time— when Tsunade was preparing to leave the village.

Although... the outcome initially was not as bad as it could have been.

You convinced her to delay her exodus for a week. That entire time, the two of you were nearly inseparable. And you fucked like raving animals.

It was a life changing event for you— enough to cement the fact that you, indeed, loved women. But most of all, you loved her.

At some point after an exhausting collection of rounds in bed, you had known your time with her was coming to an end. You couldn’t stop the years even if you tried, because in that moment life sucked and it wasn’t fucking fair that you couldn’t keep anything good in your life.

You had been so tired then, but you have vague memories of her holding you close, and her velvety lips kissing your tears away. It made her absence the next day all the more painful.

She had left at some point in the night when you fell asleep, thought she could never tell you how long she waited in the window before leaving you. You had woken up a love in her unlike any other— and it terrified her. She had lost enough people already in her life, so she followed what her heart told her was the best course of action; leave, before you’re broken again.

It hardened both of you emotionally. Everything was a threat, nothing worth letting down your walls for. While she abandoned her ninja way for years, you clung to yours with everything you had. It might have paid off, but what worth did it have when at home you sat by yourself, when your select companions were away?

You thought of her every night all the same. Sure, you could enjoy others from afar as you once did, but no one was her. No one could ever fill the void she did.

And little did you know, when you least expected it, she would come parading into your life again.

You hadn’t thought Jiraya would be successful in retrieving her, as cynical as it may sound. But then there she was, accepting her role as Hokage before the village in all her fame and glory like she was born to do it. And you had never been so proud, and had never wanted her so badly than how you did in that moment.

Even with the time apart, your reunion was not as horrendously awkward as it could have been. You greeted each other as old friends, and within the week you became one of the honored members of her council. No one bat an eye at this, because you had earned the right to the seat three times over. But Jiraya did grin when Tsunade announced your appointment.

And life went on. It wen on. And on. And on.

And it drove you insane.

Your friendship rekindled in a way you had not expected at all. And she never even mentioned anything regarding your week together before her disappearance.

It pissed you off how unbothered she appeared by it. You bickered like an old married couple and defended each other like the war heroes you were, but goddamn it did you want more validation than a fancy new job where you got to eyeball the woman you had been in love with for most of your life.

So onwards you went to the Hokage’s office. You would settle this, and you would settle it that night if it was the last thing you did.

If anyone notice your darker mood, they steered far out of your path as you travelled. It wasn’t as late as it could have been, so Tsunade would mostly likely still be at work in her office. Later in the day was usually when Shizune could successfully corner her to do paperwork anyway.

Inside the building, you begin to hear the echo of rain from outside.

You take the precaution of knocking on her door with the formal greeting, and she allows you in.

She smirks at you and prepare a remark— but you don’t let her start.

“We need to talk.”

Her expression becomes stern instantly. “What’s wrong? Any threatening reports?”

You cock your head at her, then shake your hands “No, no, this isn’t about work. This is personal.”

She couldn’t have looked more confused if she tried. However, she did remain silent, so you continued with your thoughts. And you locked eyes with her.

“Are we ever going to talk about what happened when you left? At all? Or did it mean nothing to you?”

Her eyes widened, but knowingness came to them. “I didn’t think you would—“

“Whatever you think I just need to hear the truth.”

“I think that—“

“And don’t bullshit me on feelings—“

“Damn it Y/N, shut up!” Tsunade rose from her desk, leaning over it. Her irritated look is intimidating, but you know better.

A quiet moment follows, but your voice betrays you. “I just need to know,” you admit, sounding more defeated than anyone— especially Tsunade— had probably ever heard you sound.

There’s a part of Tsunade that’s fuming at being interrupted so many times, undoubtedly. But some aspect of her fury is doused when she sees how dejected you look on the other side of her desk. She didn’t think she had ever seen you look so small, and like you wanted to curl into yourself.

She never wanted you to make yourself lesser around her. The thought of you being in pain when she fled...

Emotions were swirling within her like a maelstrom.

“Come here,” she commands. She doesn’t raise her voice. She doesn’t need to.

Anyone else would have gotten a snide remark addressing you like that. But you walk until you’re directly in front of the desk, and she pushes her chair out of the way to stand before you.

When she stands fractions of an inch away from you, your heart rate quickens. The intensity of her expression is almost scalding. But it is not angry.

You open your mouth to speak again, but she breached the gap between you. Both of her hands grasp your face in such a mash of assertiveness and tenderness— but what knocks the breath from your lungs is the powerful kiss.

You wish you could say you responded immediately, but you were so shocked all you could do was tremble. Eventually, you felt her hands slink down to tenderly hold your neck as her tongue slipped past your lips.

Part of you wanted to fight her off. To get the last word in, or have the last snappy response. But you couldn’t fight how badly you wanted her to tighten the grip over your windpipe.

“I have never forgotten you,” she pants when gasping for air. “Not even once.”

She dives in for another kiss, and this time you have no regrets about giving in to it. Her hold around your neck tightens, and she’s upon you in an instant. Years upon years of tension and unsaid affection finally come crashing together in an emotional storm akin to the one outside Tsunade’s doors.

Just as she presses her chest to yours, her tongue slips into your mouth and you can’t help but to groan. However, you’re not one to give in so easily— and neither is she. Your sharp nails run over clothed back enough to give her goosebumps, and she reciprocates by sliding her hands into your hair to firmly tighten her grip. In the moment, it’s almost like neither of you need to breathe— your tongues dance in unison and all you can feel is the building heat in your gut as you melt into the other’s touch.

When you finally do part for air, she grins, devilishly.

“I see you still have a dirty mouth.”

You can’t help but turn red. “Shut up and get on the desk.”

That does catch her attention— it had been a while since anyone had the balls to mouth off to the Hokage. It was sexy as hell... and it made her recount all the reasons she fell for you in the first place.

She does step back to sit on the desk, and you follow after her just as she perches like a cat, eyeing you with ample amusement. Just as you set your hands beside her waist and lean in, she pulls at the wrap of her tunic and opens her strong legs.

“Are you going to stand there Y/N?” She purrs. “Or are you going to actually do something?”

It makes your blood boil, but you can’t help the excitement that comes from wrapping your arms around her again. She melts into your kiss the same way you did with hers, but your head starts to swim when you feel her legs wrap around your middle. Who in their right mind wouldn’t let their hands wander to glide up her thighs, listening to her moan, to firmly squeeze her love handles before returning the love to her ass?

You certainly were not going to waste the opportunity. And an opportunity you make it.

And despite being the one above her as you gently push her down against the desk, you melt into her kiss all the same. You throw one knee onto the desk to steady yourself enough to lovingly stroke her sides as you begin to nip marks into her neck.

It makes the grips her legs have on you all the more constricting. She rolls her hips upwards deliciously into yours, leaning to expose as much of her collarbone to you as possible. Any control at that point is abandoned— you nearly purr as you kiss and suck as much exposed skin as possible.

Who would have thought you would have the chance to hear her lovely voice again, much less her tantalizing moans.

“I think I may be one of the only people alive that can say I’ve knocked one of the Sanin on their backs,” you muster with confidence, and give her a sly grin.

There’s a slight glare from her, but she snorts all the same and chuckles. Tsunade raises forward and takes your lips with hers once more, pushing you to climb all the way on top or the desk.

Neither of you can fight the passion between you any longer. Your gasps and moans become louder, and the two of you begin to strip between feverish kisses and gropes. And not a single ounce of self control remains between you when Tsunade peels your underwear down your legs.

It’s like a volt of electricity goes through your body when she unabashedly spreads your legs and licks a stripe up your wet cunt. Her searing gaze locks with yours as she moves her mouth, and your eyes roll backwards when she plunges her tongue directly into your core.

It makes you squeal but she holds your thighs in place as you shake— and there was no way in hell you were getting out of her grasp. You wouldn’t want it any other way.

Her tongue swivels inside you and laps at your insides, stoking every ounce of pleasure out of you that you could think to feel. She remains as unashamed as ever, relishing in the wet noises of your arousal as she begins to thumb your clit and slurp your building orgasm.

You chant her name over and over as she tastes you— ravished you— but in an instant you tap her three times with your pointer finger. Your old signal to stop during sex makes her pause, not just to respect your boundaries. It feels odd to remember an old habit again.

She looks to you for an answer, and you order a smile. “I don’t want this to end yet.”

She grins, but before Tsunade can counter your remark you offer her a hand to pull her up to you. Quickly, you wrap your legs around her middle and shift your weight, putting her beneath you (despite having to save her from nearly falling off the desk.)

Who knows how many people would give their all to be in your position, crawling over the fifth Hokage, trailing your tongue up from her center. Tsunade looks just as pleased, watching you navigate her skin with a hunger you’ve only ever seen her display at war.

And a hunger she proves when she locks her tongue with yours again.

Your bodies writhe against each other with the most tantalizing friction, and you can feel her legs begin to quiver. “Y/n,” she starts, and trails away.

There’s not much you can imagine she would want to say in this moment. “What?” You ask her.

And she smiles at you. The genuine smile you fell for over and over again in your youth, and the one that lingered in your head for years on end.

“I love you. But hurry it up.”

It’s as close to endearing as she would be willing to get, but it still makes the heat in your face reappear. And it ignites the final fuse in your cunt.

You reach to hold the back of her head gently, just as she licks your bottom lip. She practically purrs your name when you put one of your knees beside her waist, and ease to lay your other leg flat.

It’s like electricity across your skin when you finally get to move against her this way. The two of your bare, sloppy cunts squelching together as you both bucked into the other.

You had to touch her everywhere. You could feel the tingle in your spine, and the insatiable desire to lick her and massage her breasts. She was everything you had every wanted, and everything you had ever wanted to fight for.

The gods themselves would have to pry you away from her now.

#Tsunade #tsunade senju x reader #tsunade senju #naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto smut #tsunade x reader smut #tsunade senju x reader smut #smut #lemon #dom reader #dom female reader #x reader #tsunade smut #tsunade lemon #naruto x reader #naruto shippuden x reader #tsunade senju x reader lemon

[ulittuq-writes]

a bullet point sakura au I will not write b/c I have enough projects going already

After the chunin exams, Sakura is desperate to be better and stronger and she’s tired of surviving off of luck and the whim of her enemies

Because she thought she learned after Wave, after she shook and shook and got her first taste of the blood and death that comes with a shinobi life and she still wanted it but she didn’t know how to get there (because she was the top of her Academy class, but she knows now that means very little, in the face of violence)

And she thought she learned again after the Forest of Death, when she cut the hair she spent years caring for because she wanted to be pretty and delicate but now she knows those are just kinder words for weak

Only she’s still just-Sakura, all soft hands and trembling legs

(She’s more than that, of course. She’s on a team of legends and gods-in-the-making and it takes a certain kind of resilience, a certain kind of strength, to withstand that. But she’s just thirteen and insecure and hateful.)

So she makes a plan, because she’s a paper ninja okay? She likes plans and lists and seeing a path written out neatly.

(She’s not the best at following through, sometimes, because she gets angry and impulsive in her anger, but she’s more stubborn than angry, most of the time, so it works out.)

There’s a brief moment, after the chunin exams and between Naruto leaving to bring back Tsunade and Sasuke being retraumatized by his brother and the fight on the hospital roof, when team seven still has training and Sakura learns to hate Kakashi, a little.

Before, she had been grateful that training didn’t amount to much, because it meant she had more time to try to talk to Sasuke and less time spent sweating.

But now she sits to the side while the boys spar and she remembers Kakashi saying “looks like the kunoichi has better chakra control then either of you” and it had felt like praise scrapping the wrong way, because he didn’t say it to her, because he used it to motivate the boys.

Because his eye never really settles on her and, sure, he’d give up his life for her, but he won’t train her

But then Sasuke leaves her on a bench in the dark

But then Naruto leaves and Kakashi in still in the village but she never sees him

So one day, Sakura is training and she stumbles on Anko being badass and

Look, Sakura looked the godaime hokage in the eye, in a different world, and demanded she train her

And that’s not this world, but she still has the courage to stare into the eyes of a woman who could kill her with the flick of a finger and demand to be taught

And Sakura is goddamn persistent. She spent years obsessed with the same boy and tried to shape herself into an image he could love. She is relentless.

Of course, when she asks Anko to train her, the answer in “no way in hell” but again, Sakura doesn’t take no for an answer

Eventually, Anko relents and says “okay, show me what you can do” and Sakura becomes a badass eventually but she’s not a badass now, so all she’s got in the barebones of techniques and her own stubbornness

(Anko’s heard about team seven, of course, so she knows that this kid was trained by Hatake, but it doesn’t fucking seem like it and the next time she sees Hatake she’s going to burn his porn)

It’s a situation of “ah fuck, someone’s gotta teach this kid so she doesn’t end up dead and goddamnit looks like that someone’s gonna be me”

So reluctant-teacher Anko who is not getting attached nope, she’s not! Sure, she gives the kid shit like premixed poisons and explosive seals and some goddamn sensible clothes, but she’s not getting attached!!

And Sakura is simultaneously having the time of her life and regretting all of the decisions that led to this

Because she’s finally learning and getting strong and she can be useful! But she wakes up and goes to bed sore and she’s got bandages on her hands because of the blisters and she doesn’t have the energy to look pretty (because old habits die hard) only there’s no one to look pretty for and she’s alone and she trains more to drown out that thought but training means Anko (either Anko herself, or using the supplies Anko helped her pick out and practicing the techniques Anko taught her) and Anko means she’s not alone

(Sakura has a little puppy crush on Anko for a hot minute because Anko is pretty and terrifying and apparently Sakura has a type but almost every ninja is pretty and terrifying and Sakura is a hopeless bisexual and suffering (on that note, her and Ino are something approaching friends again and Sakura is resolutely ignoring how pretty and smart Ino is because she is not going to loose Ino’s friendship again when she’s just got it back) (Ino, for her part, is finding harder to ignore her own feelings))

Sakura’s just big mess of emotions and puberty is only making it worse

Anko had no clue what to do with all these emotions, but like, she can’t deny she’s attached now, so she needs a Responsible Adult

Enter Genma

Who’s not like super emotionally healthy but he’s slightly better than most shinobi and he’s leagues ahead of Anko (fuck Orochimaru)

So Genma joins in on the training and Sakura now has two (two!!) adults who are invested in helping her

Genma is the one to bring up learning medical ninjutsu because Sakura has such good chakra control

At first, Sakura is reluctant, because she doesn’t want to be confined to being a medic. Medics usually stay behind the line and Sakura’s been training to fight, she wants to fight and not be regulated to the sidelines

But Anko says, “let them try stopping you from fighting” and Genma points out that “frontline medics are a thing. Our Hokage is one. Besides, you don’t have to specialize, just learn the basics.”

So Sakura learns the basics of healing (she learns enough to patch people up enough to get them back into the fight or keep them alive to possibly reach real medical attention) but mostly she focuses on becoming as terrifying and strong as Anko and as steady and lethal as Genma

When Naruto comes barreling back and says “we can save Sasuke” Sakura’s immediate reactions is “no” because she’s spent the past years with Anko and would gladly dismember Orochimaru and anyone who willingly abandoned the village for that snake doesn’t deserve saving

But she’s a little conflicted because team seven could have been something great and she caught glimpses of it during the forest of death and the invasion and how they worked together but

She’s not just a teenage girl full of dreams anymore, she’s a shinobi and she has ghosts that follow her and she once had her hands inside of someone’s gut trying to heal them (she had to let them die because the battle was still going and she needed every iota of chakra to get out alive herself) and team seven was only ever a dream

So this Sakura is more bitter and cynical and doesn’t keep childhood crushes alive and she can’t stave of death with a spark of chakra but she can weave illusions without the twitch of a finger and she keeps poisoned senbon in her hair and she’s gotten into the bad habit of putting them in her mouth (but that’s okay, Genma’s done it before too (and she used to make fun of him so much for it but then it happened to her and was like “FUCK”)) and she’s made herself a weird little ninja family

The thing is: Sakura has always had a soft heart and she still does because part of her will always be that little girl who wore her heart on her sleeve, but now Sakura is soft for only a select few and now she holds her heart in her mouth where she can let it smile and laugh and love, but most often hides it behind bared teeth

She still goes with Naruto to bring Sasuke back partly because she loved him once (even if maybe she only ever loved the idea of him, loved the idea of someone important and special loving her—whatever it was, she spent years with it and that has to count for something) and partly for what team seven could have been (they were like celestial bodies, pulled in by each other’s gravity only to slingshot away) but mostly because she was ordered to and there’s something poetic about the people Sasuke abandoned bringing him back

Of the people the boy-avenger deemed too weak to brother with breaking him down and dragging him home

And Sakura’s a little (okay, a lot) bitter and angry and maybe breaking Sasuke’s legs will make her feel better (which is not the healthiest approach, but shinobi aren’t known for their healthy coping mechanisms)

And if they run into Orochimaru well, that’s just a bonus (Sakura had crashed at Anko’s place enough times to know that all of her nightmares feature her former teacher)

Sakura recognized Tenzuo because she’s run a few missions with him in anbu (she doesn’t run anbu missions regularly, but Konoha’s still scrambling a bit from the crush and she has a very applicable skill set so she’s been pulled for a few missions)

She doesn’t recognize Sai, but she recognizes the emptiness in him, how he was scooped out a hollowed until there was nothing left but a weapon (there’s a certain mindset necessary to run anbu missions (a mindset Sakura is good at, because Inner isn’t prominent anymore, but she still remembers how to separate parts of herself and lock them away) and she works part-time at T&I—she’s seen empty people, she’s emptied people)

Sai calls Naruto dickless and Sakura ugly and Sakura just laughs

Because she doesn’t care about being pretty, not anymore, and she knows she has a big forehead and her limbs are gangly in the way only a teenagers can be, but she’s a good shinobi and she can protect the people she care about, the people she’s soft for—and that’s what matters

#mars writes #haruno sakura #naruto #bullet point fic #please let the formatting be okay I’m tired to messing around w it

[kanamesharisenwrites]

kh’s story snippet celebration sendoff, entry #3

Oh, I had so much fun with this twisted plunnie! And even though only the opening scene is complete, I did finish a first draft for the entire fic (which I’ve included). It’s rough and vague, but the whole plot concept is there!

Inspired by the story, The Ones that Walk Away from Omelas, by Ursula K Le Guin.

Fandom: Naruto Pairing: Kakashi Hatake/Sakura Haruno Word Count: 2217 Genre: canon-divergence!AU, drama, angst Rating: M Warnings: brief profanity, abduction, manipulation, brainwashing, dark fic

... [ kingdom come ]

"Where's Sakura?"

"Gone, obviously." Sasuke laughs, bloody spittle coating his lips. He groans as he pulls his body off the ground. Swelling from a large contusion over his left eye mars his fair face; there is a matching one at the base of his skull. His right arm, severed and cauterized, lies in the dust a few feet away. "If he didn't kill her, Tobi probably took her. He likes shiny new toys."

Kakashi bristles and widens his stance as Sasuke walks towards him. "I want to know what happened. Now."

"Relax, old man, I'm not looking for a fight." Sasuke picks up his arm and throws it over his shoulder. "Sakura told me to get my head out of my ass and go home. That's what I intend to do."

Kakashi eyes Sasuke with suspicion, searching his demeanor for tells of dishonesty. "After all these years, you’ll forgive me if I doubt your word. It's all a little too easy, don't you think?"

"Easy?" Sasuke scoffs and levels Kakashi with a hard stare. "I knew she only wanted to join me so she could capture or kill me. I decided to kill her first – chidori through the heart." A smirk twists Sasuke's mouth, sharp and cruel, as he watches Kakashi flinch. "One stab and I'd permanently slice through those bonds Naruto rants about. Only it didn't work. Her chakra neutralized my chidori when she grabbed my arm." Sasuke shakes his head, and his smirk softens. "What the hell have you guys been feeding her, anyway? She's as strong as a fucking ox."

Kakashi shrugs. "Ask Lady Tsunade."

"Figures. Sakura managed this," Sasuke gestures to his missing arm, "with nothing but a chakra scalpel. Pulled the rest of it through her body like she was unsheathing a sword. Then she beat me unconscious with my own severed appendage. Last thing I saw was the hole in her chest close up like it'd never been there."

 "You were a fool to underestimate her."

"So were you."

.

.

.

[ .oOo. ]

Shikamaru gives Kakashi his weekly “state of the village” report.

Kakashi asks about Sakura sightings; there’s been none.

Shikamaru turns to leave, but stops. Tells Kakashi he thinks it’s time to give up the hunt.

After Shikamaru leaves, Kakashi stares out the office window and wonders aloud why he’s still there when everyone important to him is gone.

.

.

.

[ .oOo. ]

Sakura comes to him in a dream. She’s older - ethereal yet weary-looking. She reminds him why he needs to stay, about the good he brings to the village, to the world. When she goes to leave, he chases her, promises to find her. She looks puzzled.

“Why, sensei? I was never lost in the first place.”

Kakashi wakes up in tears.

.

.

.

[ .oOo. ]

When Kakashi makes his weekly trip to the memorial, Karin is there. He’s tired and his memory is fuzzy; he doesn’t remember her at first. When he does, he’s surprised. He didn’t think she’d stay in the village without Sasuke.

“Visiting Konoha, huh?”

“Hardly.” She huffs. “I never left.”

“Strange. I never see you around.”

“I keep a low profile. The village isn’t especially kind to Orochimaru’s castoffs.”

“Why do you stay, then?”

Karin pauses, her fingers hovering over Sasuke’s name. When she speaks, it’s slow, deliberate.

“Because that’s what he would’ve wanted. For me to carry on in his stead.”

.

.

.

[ .oOo. ]

Kakashi dreams of Sakura again. She seems disconcerted that he acknowledges her - you weren’t supposed to know that I’m here, sensei - but speaks with him anyway. It’s a soft, gentle conversation, and it lulls him into a deeper, dreamless sleep.

He wakes up more rested than he has in a long time, but his mind anxious.

Sakura seemed too sentient for a figment of his subconscious.

.

.

.

[ .oOo. ]

Shizune comes to see him, asks how life as Hokage is going.

Kakashi admits it’s boring - too much paperwork, too little action. Village life has become too idyllic since the end of the war, to the point that it feels unnatural.

Shizune says she feels it too.

.

.

.

[ .oOo. ]

Kakashi starts dreaming of Sakura every night. 

He tells her silly stories about the new batch of genin trying to unmask him. She shares some of Tsunade’s most “creative” teaching techniques.

She asks him how the village is doing. He tries to explain how it’s so perfect it feels wrong, but can’t quite find the words. Her coy smile suggests she understands anyway.

He asks her to stop calling him “sensei.” She laughs and calls him “Lord Hokage.”

He thanks her for keeping his nightmares at bay. She asks him what his nightmares are, but he doesn’t answer.

After a few nights where he dreams they walk through the forest without talking, he finally opens up.

Before her, he dreamed about lightning and blood: his chidori through Rin’s chest; Obito crushed and plucking out his own eye in offering; Naruto and Sasuke’s lifeless bodies on the battlefield still holding hands; searching for Sakura in an endless maw of darkness.

Sakura holds his hand and cries. Her hand feels so real, so warm and solid, that it wakes him up.

In his next dream, he confronts her. Begs her to tell him where she went, what happened to her. Sakura goes pale. When she tries to speak, she writhes in pain as if the words she meant to say were choking her. She falls to her knees and looks up at him, still no words falling from her open mouth. But he sees it - the Root seal on her tongue. 

He wakes up angry.

.

.

.

[ .oOo. ]

Kakashi calls Sai to his office and asks questions about Root. Even though it’s been years since Danzo’s execution, Sai can’t answer and it leaves Kakashi frustrated as well as angry.

That night, Kakashi doesn’t dream of Sakura. He dreams of the absence of her.

He dreams about capturing Sasuke and bringing him back. Of entrusting Sakura's rescue to Naruto and Sai. Of their return, empty-handed.

He dreams of Naruto’s grief and anger and disbelief - that Root (Danzo) captured Karin, but found no trace of Sakura. Of Sai's silent lips and clenched fists.

The memories fall away and Kakashi calls for Sakura in the dark void of his dream until his throat is raw. 

She doesn’t come.

.

.

.

[ .oOo. ]

Kakashi sees Karin at the memorial again.

She seems agitated, on edge, but she extends a gruff invite to her place for tea.

He declines.

She tells him she lives in a small house painted yellow at the foot of Hokage Mountain, if he changes his mind. 

That night he dreams of Obito, of the Tobi mask falling away revealing his old teammate. Of cruel taunts - so, poor, tragic, Kakashi lost another kunoichi - and cryptic denials - come on, Kakashi, I’d need more than one Sharingan to capture that sweet little cherry - and unfounded accusations - sounds like an inside job, if you ask me. 

Kakashi wakes in a cold sweat.

Then he goes in search of Karin’s house.

.

.

.

[ .oOo. ]

Karin seems almost relieved to see him. She opens the door and he steps inside. Immediately, he can feel it; Sakura’s chakra signature rolls over him like a wave.

Karin leads him to the basement.

Sakura sits in a dingy, old recliner in nothing but a bra and training shorts. A crown of wires connects her to a wall of softly whirring machinery. She opens her brilliant green eyes and smiles.

“Kakashi!”

He turns to Karin. “Unhook her. Now.”

“It’s not as simple as that. If we--”

“If you don’t do it, I will.”

“No, you can’t!” Sakura screams. “If you do, the village will be destroyed!”

.

.

.

[ .oOo. ]

Kakashi sits silently fuming in a meeting with the village council and the daimyo. They throw a lot of facts around: higher birth rates, reduced healing times for injuries, near elimination of sickness, increased shinobi numbers and quality, improved financial stability, etc. It doesn’t take long for him to realize.

“You authorized this project of Danzo’s.”

“Of course. How else do you think he got the technology to accomplish such a feat?”

“I suppose it’s pointless to petition for this project’s end.”

“We truly are sorry, Kakashi. We didn’t know your kunoichi was the one chosen for the experiment. But it has turned out so well for the village. I hope you understand.”

“I do,” Kakashi says. 

He walks out.

.

.

.

[ .oOo. ]

Kakashi visits Karin and Sakura again, asks them to tell him everything they know about Sakura’s situation: unhooking Sakura will reverse all the good her chakra network has accomplished.

Absolute, utter destruction, they say.

Kakashi seethes. “Danzo was a fucking liar.”

“Maybe.” Sakura shakes her head. “But I can’t take that chance.”

Kakashi storms off.

.

.

.

[ .oOo. ]

Kakashi summons Shikamaru.

“The safety of our civilians has been weighing on me.”

“You know something I don’t?”

“Just… been thinking. How many times has a significant threat infiltrated our security in your lifetime, Shikamaru?”

“Point taken. What do you want to do?”

“I want you to develop a village-wide evacuation plan. Be sure to include provisions for temporary shelter and two week’s worth of rations for every family. I expect a working model ready for drills by the end of the month.”

“Yes, Lord Hokage.”

.

.

.

[ .oOo. ]

Kakashi arrives at Karin’s house with Sai. He tells her to leave, to follow the rest of her neighbors to their designated rendezvous point.

“She’s gonna hate you.”

“I know.”

When Kakashi enters the basement, Sakura is waiting for him, ready to strike. 

“Don’t make me fight you.”

“It’s time to let go, Sakura.”

“I can’t. The village will collapse and people will die. I can’t have that on my conscience. I can’t be why Konoha disappears!”

“Konoha isn’t a place. It’s the people who live with the will of fire in their hearts. And those people have been evacuated. They are safe. Konoha will survive.”

Sakura squares her shoulders and chin, digging in her heels. “I’m a kunoichi. My purpose is to be of use to my village, no matter the sacrifice.”

“You are of more use to your village free than you will ever be wasting away in this damned basement!”

“But the village--”

“Fuck the village. It can burn to the ground as long as I know you’re safe. You’re it, Sakura. You’re all I have left.” Kakashi's voice cracks. “I can’t lose you to this.”

Sakura lowers her fists. “I’m scared.”

“I know. But it will be okay, I promise.” Kakashi presses the button on his earpiece. “Shikamaru, are we good to go?” After the affirmative answer crackles in his ear, Kakashi turns back to Sakura. “Do you trust me?”

Sakura nods.

“Sai is waiting for us upstairs. He’s ready to fly us out of here if needed.” Kakashi takes her hand. “Tell me what to do.”

“You’re sure everyone is safe?”

“I’m sure.”

“Flip that lever.”

The rumbling begins almost immediately. Kakashi scoops her up, pulling the crown from her head and smashing it to the ground. Sai spies them from his perch on his ink bird and if he’s surprised by Sakura’s presence, he doesn’t show it. They fly away, watching as a crater of rubble forms where Konoha once stood.

Sakura weeps as Kakashi holds her to his chest.

.

.

.

[ .oOo. ]

There are a lot of questions. He answers them as honestly and as vaguely as he can, leaving Sakura out of the story altogether. Some people are scared. Some are angry. Most are just thankful for their tents, their food, and their lives. This isn’t the first time they’ve had to rebuild.

After the village settles down for the night, Kakashi patrols the perimeter of the wreckage. The only thing left intact is the memorial stone. He stands there for a long time reading the names carved on its surface. The moon rises and the first chill of autumn settles in his bones.

Someone takes his hand… Sakura.

“Do you regret it?” she asks.

“No,” he answers. She shivers, so he pulls her into his arms. “Do you?”

"Yes."

The word leaves her on an exhale, as quiet and forceful as the wind. A tear escapes her, splatters against the chilled skin of his forearm.

"It's gut-wrenching, knowing what my freedom cost. I think a part of me will always feel that way." She runs her fingers over their teammates' names, slow and reverent. "But one day, maybe..."

"Then I'll hold onto it for you."

She glances at him over her shoulder, confused. "Hold onto what?"

He breathes in deep, squeezing her tight. With a kiss to her temple, he answers, "The hope for that one day."

#kakasaku #ksscs #kh writes fanfiction #you can also read it on ao3 if you click the title

[narto-you-ignorant-slu-inactive]

The thing about naruto bieng a bad parent ,it's not about not spending enough time with your kids , it's how ruined his character is they wanted his character to seem grownup and responsible ,but he just seems tired and out of place , even with his family he feels like an outsider , like he doesn't fit at all and I dont even know how to explain it , it's just sad I f you were going to force a canon ending that makes no sense, at least do good man

HONESTLY THOUGH

No, really, what you just said is literally what I think whenever I see adult Naruto. It's not just that he looks tired and thus consequently ugly as hell, he doesn't even act like you'd imagine Naruto being, even after decades, at ALL. Of course growing up can basically tilt your character 180 degrees, and politics are even more prone to doing that. And considering that he spent the last of his teenage years being groomed into the perfect figurehead (because let's face it, there's most likely decisions being made behind his back, decisions that Naruto simply 'wouldn't understand' because I want to believe that deep deep down he's still the same righteous dork he was years ago and politics are ugly, dark, shadowed things, no matter how calm the peace times may be).

But generally? Not even his deeply rooted characteristics stayed the same. He's a dork. He's righteous to a fault. He has to save everyone. He's liquid sunshine and soothing warmth and the most important thing for him is family.

How far did he go to protect his friends, his found family? How often did he yell at Sasuke that he sees him as his brother? How FURIOUS and PANICKED was he whenever talk about eliminating Sasuke came up? How angry was he when Sasuke talked shit or even straight up tried to kill Sakura and Kakashi?

You want me to believe that this guy, so thirsty for love and acknowledgement and a family of his own, would—what, neglect his own family, both blood and found, the way he does? Not be there for every little milestone of his kids or pout whenever he misses one? Not kiss his wife every time he gets to see her, hold her hands or her arm and just constantly keep touching her because he's been starved for this kind of closeness for years? Yell about his FAMILY, inform everyone he comes across about whatever his kids did that day ("She finally called me Da, man! DA!!!!)"), whatever Hinata did ("And she just straight up knocked him out, dude, like didn't even hesitate and gentle fisted the shit out of him")? Bug his friends and tease them and talk to them when they run into each other on the street, even if it's just for a short moment? Not constantly lose his shit whenever Sasuke comes back, even if it's in a more controlled way thse days (frame slightly shaking and smile earsplittig and he has to hold up an image but his emotions are overwhelming, always have been whenever Sasuke's involved)?

He's already using so many shadow clones, and most of the time he doesn't even dignify his own fucking family with that. Instead he tells his pre-teen son to call him Lord Hokage instead of dad, like he wasn't the brat that flat out called the third old man. Instead he misses his daughter's birthday and sends a shadow clone that disspells because he—what, couldn't uphold it any longer? Instead he barely sees his wife, and doesn't even kiss or hug her when he sees her. Instead we see him looking at a freshly returned Sasuke (who came as a surprise, without any kind of warning, mind you) like he's just another one of his shinobi, like the man wasn't his greatest desire for the better part of his teenage life. Instead we rarely see him interact with his friends, with his found family, outside of Shikamaru, who literally works for him. We don't even see him interact with Sakura, who, arguably, is his best and closest friend. Doesn't even visit Kakashi under the pretense of seeking important kage advise.

For fucks sake, the guy literally sleeps on the couch. And, sure, common sense tells us he's merely doing that because he doesn't want to wake Hinata up when he gets home late, but honestly? The third week in a row you haven't slept in your own fucking bed next to your own fucking wife is probably when you should re-consider your priorities because I know, I know that Naruto cares for all of the villagers, loves them, needs to protect them now that they finally acknowledge him, but the thing about Naruto is that he always had priorities, even if it was unconsciously. Just look at his teenage years—does it really look like he didn't have his friends ranked from more important to less important? He'd have never believed it, never even realized it, but between Sakura and Kiba, heck, between Sakura and Sasuke—he chose, back then during whatever the fuck the five kage summit was. So politics and paperwork aside (also, do they REALLY want me to believe he or Shikamaru or SOMEONE with a fucking braincell wouldn't just get an assistant or a full team of assistants just to take care of the paperwork? For real?) he'd spend time with his family, period. Hell, even is it's just 10 minutes every day! He'd find that time. Make that time, even if it means pestering his kids until they come visit him in his office every day so he can play a quick round of cards with them and they can update him on their life, what they've done today and how school is.

Of course, you could also turn that around on its head and say the guilt of not being there for his family weighs down on him, thus making him even more tired and worn out looking.

Honestly though, what I'm trying to say is..... who decided making someone who solves problems via punching and screaming the hatred and stupid out of someone a political figure is a good idea in the first place? He's charismatic, people are drawn to him, but that doesn't change the fact that Naruto, even if he might be good at them, is not someone made for politics, for a position that's more bureaucratics than anything else these days; he's a do-er, does things with his own two hands and not his signature on yet another piece of paper.

They should have made him like... an ambassador or something, who regulalry visitis the other nations to uphold peace and treaties and remind people on why peace times are, actually, a good thing. Because time makes people forget, and they need someone to remind them about this fact and Naruto's the perfect person for that job. He could have even gone and done that with Sasuke, honestly, and left the whole Hokage thing to someone more suitable, like Sakura and Shikamaru. I mean, c'mon, Shikamaru was already pointed out to be a good Hokage in canon itself, and Sakura was both the fifth Hokage's apprentice and the sixth's assistant. They'd have made a terrifying duo.

And personally? All this talk about dreams, the way canon itself likes to point out that Naruto has dreams and things more important than his childhood dream mainly Sasuke, making him realize that dreams change and sometimes you HAVE to choose (because that's one thing Naruto, in canon, never had to do and is one lesson he really should have learned) would have made for one hell of a character development. (Not that Kishimoto cares much about THAT.)

But honestly, when I look at this guy slumped over his desk like his responsibilities are literally crushing him, crushing his spirits and draining him of everything that made him Naruto in the first place (love and care and the desperate need for a family, sunshine warmth and big ol' smiles) I don't even see Naruto. That's some beat-up workaholic father who neglects his family and forgot about having priorities.

#Boruto can't hurt you if you believe in the 'its all Madara's dream world' theory #Ignore typos it's literally 5 am n I just woks up but now im angry and need a Naruto fix it #Nart #Asks

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Naruto Shippuden S21

What a tender intro omg also why is this filler so well animated

The introduction of modern technology will never not be funny to me. Kakashi on a laptop. Gaara sending emails. What has the ninja world come to 

I know it’s just superfluous background motion but that angry little cat design was amazing. Takes me tf out 

Hello again New English Iruka Voice time to feel slightly uncomfortable 

Doesn’t Inuyasha have a monopoly on this baby with a red ball imagery

Why! Is! No one! Making sure! Naruto is fed! He’s a baby!!!!!!

Naruto and Sasuke were such adorable children my heart

SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THE FAMILY WHERE ONE OF THE CHILDREN IS JUST A FROG? WHO IS DOING THESE BACKGROUND ANIMATIONS?????

In case you thought I wasn’t being literal:

[Accompanying dialogue to this image: “Did you hear the rumours that Lord Fourth died because of him?” WHO IS THIS FROG CHILD WITH A VENDETTA AGAINST MINATO]

This ninja cowboy music seems slightly misplaced but okay

Hiruzen. U r the literal ninja president. Naruto is foraging in the forest for food bc no one is taking care of him! How r u like ‘Hahah I’m hungry too :D’ 

“The things that we inconsequential humans worry about are often very petty indeed” “You’re right” It’s Philosophy Hours ft. Pre-Schoolers 

“Are you sure these mushrooms are safe to eat? “Won’t know ‘til we eat ‘em” HIRUZEN PICK UP THE PHONE 

SCREAMS FIVE YEAR OLD NARUTO JUST JUMPED OFF THE HOKAGE MONUMENT AHHHHHH

I miss Neji :((((((((((((((((

“Please make sure that you look after Neji” show us Neji’s mum you cowards!!!

“You have to be more positive, and confident!” Nejiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii my boy

“I wish that I could switch places with you, big brother” There’s a lot to unpack here and I’m wildly concerned about all of it. This episode ought to be titled Konoha Desperately Requires Child Welfare Programs

Making an mini-episode which largely depicts Neji’s tragic backstory and centring its ending on Hinata seems like an odd angle to take

 “I’m alone. I don’t have anyone, but I never cry” NARUTOOOOO

KJHFKJHG THIS NINJA BASEBALL OUTRO I LOVE IT 

SASUKE USING HIS SHARINGAN TO CHEAT AT BASEBALL I WHEEZE

Also not that I don’t like Genma but why is he a central figure in this ending. Has he had more than a single conversation with Naruto in his life

Lmao @ Sasuke and Itachi’s child versions going back to having their adult voices. Pick a lane SP!!!

“Things in season are always cheap and tasty” “Oh, is that so, Sasuke? Hahaha” Sasuke learning about the ninja economy

“We’re going to visit your mother’s family” Two questions: 1) Aren’t your families the same family (eep) and 2) Don’t they all live in the same part of the village

90% of this dialogue is recycled from prior episodes except delivered more slowly and it’s a little confusing 

Itachi sure knows a lot about cooking for an eleven-year-old 

Sasuke being a clumsy child is such a cute character detail ahhhh I love him so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“[Confused laughter] You want to be like me?” What a Mood Itachi

Sakura’s hideout in the woods is so sweet yes 2 semi-normal childhoods

Poor little Sakura already concerned about her appearance they never let girls live do they

“You’re really cute Sakura, don’t hide it” Ino and Sakura are the most adorable children in the WORLD I love their relationship 4ever

“If she’s cute like you say, then I would love to meet her” who will stop all men

“But Ino, aren’t you good friends with Sakura?” “No, not really” Okay not to project but. I have a lot of thoughts on this narrative 

GASP Inner Sakura’s first appearance!!

Tiny Team 7 is all I need in the world honestly I would watch a whole show that was just those three growing up

I have only just now noticed Suigetsu as third baseman. This ninja baseball game and season in general raise so many questions

Noooo Gaara don’t cry you are gonna be so loved in the future

Rasa, can I just say, from the bottom of my heart, I’m going to yeet you into the sun

“When I look up at the sky, the pain inside my heart feels a little bit better” He’s like 4!!!!!!! >:(

“Instead of a mother, you get to have me, Lord Gaara” Yashamaru: Self-Diagnosed Mumncle 

Ngl baby Gaara’s recollection of Karura is nothing like she looked like

I really don’t care for this new Iruka voice I just keep listening to him like ‘that’s not the sound of Naruto’s dad!!’

I will admit him spooking the sleeping children was cute I don’t know why I always find that so funny kjhgkjhg

“Let me buy into this fight” who taught seven-year-old Naruto to gamble

Christ alive the implication that Naruto has been doing the sexy jutsu since he was seven who will put this boy in ninja therapy

If Orochimaru had just continued to be Jiraiya’s long-suffering friend he might be half-endearing but alas he is fecal matter personified 

“Come on out, I made plenty, so you might as well stay and eat” Hjgjfjgfgffg I’m not sure what’s funnier about this scene the implication that Obito and Rin both independently followed Kakashi home without noticing each other, or that Kakashi did notice and rather than question this turn of events was just like “Guess I should make more fish”

“When you’re older, do you think you’ll become a chef” I would pay to see the AU where Kakashi becomes a professional chef why couldn’t that have been his Road to Ninja persona 

Ngl I spent the first half of Kakashi’s minisode wondering if Sakumo was dead or simply too depressed to take care of Kakashi and I think dead is the less upsetting outcome 

“It’s no fun when you’re not around, Kakashi” Obitooooooooooooooo

I’m not saying it’s suspicious that Sakumo is given two different depictions of his grave site in the anime but Sakumo fucked an alien and I stand by that statement 

All I remember from Sasuke Shinden is that a character called Sasuke “Sassy” as a nickname and if they do that in the Eng dub I won’t survive

“[Deep sigh] Alright Sakura, what is it?” Fhfjhfkjh what’s your damage Kakashi can’t your kids come to visit when people start exploding

God Sakura and Ino’s relationship is the realest.... she went to the Hokage bc her gal was worried abt her family friend and then comforted her from her loss... the looooooooove

Hinata not to devalue your work in any way but why did u collapse after poking one (1) man in the chakra point isn’t gentle fist based in taijutsu

Fhjfhkjhf I’ve seen that gif before of Kakashi knowing that Sakura was thinking about Sasuke but it’s still funny

Sasuke just hanging in the woods with kittycats what kinda redemption journey is this lmao

Ehehehe I’m still not over the fact that Sasuke recognizes Sai’s jutsu and Kakashi uses it to communicate like there are six members of team 7 and this arc PROVES IT HELL YEAH

I can’t believe I forgot the circus ninja oh my god 

“There’s good money to be found for performers like us” MOVE OVER EXPLODING HUMANS WHERE’S MY EPISODE ABOUT THE NINJA CIRCUS 

Everyone always commenting on the pupils and sclera of the Hyuga and Uchiha but nobody caring about Old Man Demon Eyes from the Bamboo Village:

You’d think at this point no amount of genjutsu could traumatize Sasuke 

They’re leaning wholeheartedly into the ninja cowboy music

That is not how I thought they would pronounce “Sassy” this show is full of twists and turns

“What about reviving the Uchiha clan? You’re the lone survivor right?” said Chino, inquiring about when Sasuke was planning to have vaginal sex

“You really think you’re going to find him inside that seriously scary looking cave?” GASP IT’S TENZO TIME

AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE IT’S MY BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

“You’re Sasuke, right?” asked Yamato, as if Sasuke had not provided the memorable introduction of stabbing a seasoned ANBU in the shoulder as a sixteen-year-old during a dramatic reunion with his team

“It would be easier for us to keep things coordinated, if you sent us progress reports as you went...” Okay not to be that gal but I love that Tenzo and Kakashi are an “us” in this mini-lecture about how Sasuke should call his father (Kakashi) more often

P sure that’s Yamato’s last speaking role goodbye sweet man we knew ye well

“So does this mean that you trust me?” GO TO JAIL OROCHIMARU

Every time that Orochimaru touches Sasuke I want to leap through the screen you leave that boy alone!!! Go! To! Jail!

Sasuke having to explain his social life to Taka is a dynamic I never knew I needed. What more do I want from Naruto than frames like this:

"By showing everyone that Sasuke isn’t in the Hidden Leaf Village and that he’s still out journeying around the world, it reduces the possibility that the village will be harmed” “So are you saying that Sasuke has to keep travelling forever” “That might be so” I can’t believe the entirety of Taka came up with a better explanation for Sasuke staying outside Konoha than Kishimoto himself

“Compared to me, the likelihood that Kabuto will return to evil is extremely low”

He still helped kill......... 40,000 people????? Okay dude

I CAN’T BELIEVE OROCHIMARU IS ACKNOWLEDGING HE IS STILL EVIL!!!! GO TO JAIL!!

I’m gonna pretend I don’t see Tenzo following Stranger Danger and he’s on vacation on a beach where he belongs

Fhjkhfkjhfkj what’s the meaning of this Orochimaru you’ve looked the same since you were 25:

Sasuke: No. She’s older than I am

Orochimaru: [Soft gasp] What?

Man I remember vaguely Sasuke being involved in this fight based on the Tenzo novel scene later on but hoo boy I do not like this

SCREAMMMM TENZO TRYING TO PROTECT PPL IN THE AREA HE’S HELPING

“I can’t make direct contact with him, so I better go now” I hope it is because you filed a restraining order, Yamato

“To increase the rarity, what I’ve even done is, had all but one person in a clan killed” at this point En Oyashiro is just trying to bait Sasuke

God I love how righteous Sasuke is being rn like this is the kind of dismantling of oppression I wanted for him instead of sad murder times

This battle is bonkers:

Villain: Looks like you brought a sword to a dodgeball fight

Sasuke: Looks like you brought a dodgeball to a magic eyes fight!!

Well I certainly breezed past this part of Sasuke Shinden hello Fushin

I find it hard to believe that anyone but Naruto could best Sasuke rn 

I keep joking that those eyes in the sky look like Tenzo but I’m right and I should say it

What a long, drawn-out and slightly suspicious backstory for Chino (looking at you, Fushin of two personality types)

“But now you’re still able to travel freely... and that is all because you have people who love and protect you” Team 7 cutaway with closeups of Sakura and Naruto, Narusasusaku game strong

“For the Leaf’s nourishment, your entire clan was absorbed by your village’s Roots” wow what a shitty time for such an excellent pun

Unbelievable kkhkjhfk and by this I mean completely believable:  

Chino: Please explain your change of heart re: village corruption

Sasuke: I got a boyfriend

Unbelievable x2:

Chino: KILL ME 

Sasuke: Consider this.... you have.... boy who is friend. Good enough

Chino: Wow Sasuke, you’re right

Lmao @ Kakashi proudly announcing that Sasuke is about to enter an unsanctioned jutsu fight in a bet to free enslaved people how did this letter go “Dear Hokage-dad-Kakashi, I am writing to inform you...”

Even funnier: If Tenzo wrote the letter bc Sasuke is shite at contacting people: “Dear Kakashi-senpai, Brace yourself to be worried and proud—”

“Are you Sasuke’s...” yes Chino, whatever the end of that sentence is, you’re correct

Huh I could’ve sworn at least a good chunk of these freed people go to the Leaf. I didn’t make that conversation up. I have discussed it many times!!! My poor Tenzo cut out for more logical story lines I guess 

Omggggggg the Raikage is telling Sasuke about Naruto’s most vulnerable Sasuke moment..... the love!!! Is this the only reason they invited A lmao

En Oyashiro joining Rasa and Hiashi in the Bad Dad Club

I’ve said this before but Naruto and Sakura going on a date to talk about Sasuke is the most legit representation for their relationship I’ve ever seen that’s it that’s what them dating would be like 

“You’re just like a one man police force” lol @ them cutting out the fact that Sakura said this bc Sakura’s not allowed to have individual connections to Sasuke and also just like....... how much Sasuke still wants to be a cop kjhgkjhgk baby stop

I’ve belatedly realized that Kakashi types to the beat of the intro music and it makes me giggle

“The adult world can be complicated” is that ur way of saying ‘nepotism’ Kakashi

“I’m startin’ to get a belly” “I don’t want to hear about all that” PLS

“You two are really the only ones who are special to me” aw Shikamaru

That slap was A  Lot, Temari, surely there are better ways to tell Shikamaru you want him to be your boyfriend

“You don’t really think that Sai has—” “Well, he is very innocent.” 

Kakashi about Sai: He’s the baby of the family

Sai: I’m the oldest and most experienced of all the youth???

Kakashi: I mark ur ages by when I got you xoxo ur legal age is 3

I’m not sure that that’s the intonation I expected for Hinoko but I guess that’s on me for stereotyping teen girls hahah

“That’s my ninja way” “Our ninja way” I feel like this is shinobi flirtation

The outro with Little Team 7 fading to Big Team 7... I have but one heart

Also the implication that they took a photo immediately post war jhgkjhgkj. Kakashi still has a barely healed stab wound and twenty years of trauma. Sasuke and Naruto both just lost an arm. Also who brought a camera to the battlefield. Who took this picture. (Tenzo waking up from a 224 episode coma: We gotta take a family photo)

“You might consider yourself a member of Team 7, but I wonder if they think the same of you” [Naruto voice] Believe it!!!!!!

“If we just kill the lookouts, it’ll be like easy to get past the checkpoint” okay calm down Soku

Lmao Shikamaru struggling to deal with rebellious teens jhghjkg why are the anime episodes I watch so fitting to my own life

Man not to get 2 real it’s fucked up that Soku fears peace wyd militarism 

I don’t really believe that Soku is deserting the village but it’s a good tactic

[Panning to the bird scene at the beginning of this arc] We call that foreshadowing

Komori’s judgement seems to be clouded by his lowkey crush on Soku

“I’ve just been having these really bizarre dreams lately” that’s PTSD Shikamaru

“Feudal lords are always [tyrants] no matter where you go” then why.... do you have.... feudalism.......... [Tobirama screams in the afterlife]

Not to judge these guys so much but like.... ur ANBU and a veteran ninja surely you should have a disguise after faking your death??????? Kakashi, Iruka, what shinobi standards are you teaching exactly?? U didn’t even change ur hairstyles???

“Something similar happened to me as well” what are you... are you talking about when you pretended to be asleep during the Chunin exams because that’s not the same thing as sleeping under a pile of corpses Shikamaru 

NOOOOOOOOOO SAI WHY ARE THEY HANGING MY ANGEL FROM A CRUCIFIX 

AHHHHHHH I don’t like seeing Sai like this, Kakashi’s right he’s a baby!!

“Let’s just say I’ve found the place where I belong” Fhdjskhfksjhf this is definitely Root Code for something because Kakashi uses this line on Tenzo in his Tsukuyomi dream

“Then why didn’t Naruto come to get me? You and I have never been particularly close, so why were you the one who came here?” LMAO SAI ‘you’re not on my list of eligible rescuers Shikamaru 😒😒😒😒’ 

“Fret not, to me this is but a trifle” said Ro, lying prostrate on the ground in between groans of pain (same)

I mean... Gengo makes some pretty compelling arguments abt the shinobi system

“The alliance of nations that the Leaf is currently a part of... is only going to maintain a dark, tenuous peace” I mean... Gengo’s right even if he is a dick

“Lord Hokage told me everything... and I had a hell of a time getting it out of him too” “I don’t want to know what you did... I don’t even want to imagine it” JHGKJHGKJHG I WANNA SEE TEMARI INTERROGATING A FORMER ANBU, KAGE-LEVEL NINJA I LOVE IT

Wait are these last twelve outros dedicated to each of the rookie teams + Team Guy bc that would be adorable

JHGJHGGHGJHG DO WE ACTUALLY GET TO SEE TEMARI YELL AT KAKASHI

Update from 3 seconds later: We don’t but Kakashi’s “Euh?” sound as she knocks down his door is still very funny

“Friendship is useless” “If that’s true, then why are you crying right now” he’s been taking Sasuke lessons in his spare time

“Do you know of a man named ‘Zabuza Momochi’” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“These are my only friends” said Sai, about two giant cartoon lions 

Sai’s genjutsu scene was actually much sweeter in the book bc Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi and Yamato’s chakra were all protecting him inside his own mind but I don’t mind my boy getting a hug

HAHAHAHAHA WHAT IS THIS CUTAWAY TO NARUTO BATHED IN GOLDEN LIGHT ANNOUNCING “RAMEN” LIKE IT’S A WHOLE SENTENCE OKAY STUDIO PIERROT U NEED A BREAK I GET IT

“What in the hell was that?” that was also my question Shikamaru

Shikamaru with full conviction: To be lazy.... that is my dream 

Hahahaha it’s Ninja Teen Romance Hours I guess

“Oh, you don’t want to [go out on a date]?” No that’s not what I’m saying” [walks away] TEMARI PLS

“Going on a date without a strategy, would be like trying to fight a tailed beast unarmed” [Nodding] “You have zero chance of winning, that way” I suddenly understand Kakashi’s dating life a lot more

They really rely on you being aware of Naruto the Last huh gjkhgkjhgk there’s been no mention in any of this filler of Naruto and Hinata even being in a relationship to this point as far as I remember

Fhjkfhkjhfkfh poor Iruka none of the kids know he’s President of the Naruto’s Dad Society

“I know I’m supposed to be striving to get ahead in my career, but there’s also a part of me that really wants to just continue teaching kids, one on one” Irukaaaaa <3333333

Looool even as Hokage, Kakashi just drops out of nowhere to give cryptic life advice and then leaves

Smash the statue, Tsukune, don’t let the establishment tell u what to do!!

“Eating ramen everyday isn’t healthy you know” am I to believe that Kakashi, the man who told Naruto, ‘if you're going to be a ninja, you need to eat your vegetables’ is on a ramen-only diet?? Falsehoods

“And it’s all thanks to you Iruka” khjhgkjhgjhg alright.... you win this round KKIR shippers

WHO IS ANIMATING THIS SCENE IT IS BUCKWILD??? There is no character model to speak of, most of the kids don’t have noses, everyone’s upside down or spinning around, and Iruka is... hiding in a frog sign???

There is no English translation of this caption???? EXPLAIN JAPAN. TELL ME YOUR FROG SECRETS YOU KNOW I LOVE FROGS [INSERT PICTURE OF TENZO HERE]

(Update I looked it up in the sub and the caption offers no more insight. “IRUKA UMINO, AROUND 30 YEARS OLD. STEALTHILY”)

“This is for Hinata, so let’s all try our hardest” Kiba loves Hinata MOST

You know how if you pause in the middle of an animated action, you sometimes linger on an in-between image that looks goofy because it was meant to add to the motion rather than be focused on? This whole episode is animated like one of those images

It’s okay Lee the only dumbbell Naruto is fixated on is Sasuke Uchiha

I know don’t usually post so many images in these liveblogs, but I really need anyone reading this to see the Leaf Village’s semi-canonical Unofficial Mascot Konorin:

He is??? The love of my life???

“I don’t even have a boyfriend and train every day from morning til night” yes you do. His name is Neji Hyuga and he’s very alive and he’s a jonin sensei and he will buy you all the knives you want after he takes all of Hiashi’s money and redistributes it. In this essay I will—

You see what I mean??? Neji wants to be there for Tenten (and Lee)!!!

Tenten: What would Neji do if he were here now

Neji: [starts manifesting]

“It’s you since you’re a taijutsu specialist, but Naruto and Hinata aren’t” yes????? Hinata is???? She doesn’t use weapons but Gentle Fist is entirely taijutsu??? Why does everyone keep forgetting

KHKGJHKJHGKFHKJHFKJ I CAN’T GET OVER NEJI JUST. MANIFESTING ABOVE LEE’S BED TO GIVE HIM SHITTY WEDDING GIFT IDEAS 

“And don’t forget: Hyuga” Neji........ what.... does this mean!!!!!!!!

Why say “Neji” like that Orochimaru and in fact why say anything at all [Konan voice] I’m the Hokage now, the entire criminal justice system is on its way you are going to jail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really can’t believe that the Naruto writers looked at Tenzo’s role in Naruto SD and decided “let’s do that.... but worse” 

They animated?????????? A smaller Lee??????????? Into Lee’s mouth???????????? As if the animation style wasn’t enough. I need a minute

They are really going full Naruto SD huh??? Cut away skit like a ‘genjutsu’ scne. Lee and Guy playing a married couple and Tenten a baby. Neji in drag. This is a choice

“How can you misunderstand Neji so much” “Even if it’s only as a ghost, I’m sure that Neji would appear” I need. Several minutes

Fhjkhfkjfh Shikamaru’s vision of Gaara, Bee, Kakashi and Tsunade hanging out at this fancy restaurant. Is this who he thinks Kakashi’s social circle is these days (he might be right)

“Okay, I’ll hear you out!” Is this implication of this scene that Temari thinks Shikamaru’s idea of a first date is marriage... and she’s WILLING TO GO ALONG WITH THAT. TEMARI PLS

“Hey Ino, why would you go out of your way to make something I love? Bc she looooves you Sakura

“Sakura, I thought the same thing” GOD JUST GET MARRIED

“It’ll be too late once we go in, I could get all caught up in the mood or something like that” wait........ does Temari think Shikamaru wants to get married or fuck???? Or both??? OH MY GOD

Gaara: Naruto’s getting married.... without meeeeeeeeeee

God I love Gaara’s Blank Period hair it is truly careless and happy hair

“His ramen’s extravagent?” JKGHKHKJH everyone in the Leaf Village trying to convince Gaara that Naruto’s taste is incredibly obnoxious which is true but not in the way being described 

Kankuro what’s your damage let Gaara buy a nice and personal present for the love of his life 

Every time I think this arc can’t get more ridiculous it exceeds my expectations:

[Vaguely horrified accompanying dialogue: “The Raikage—” “—Will do the Hidden Cloud Dance?”]

“Well then, Gaara is just going to have to do the Hidden Sand Samba” Ah. Of course. The Hidden Sand Samba. Why didn’t anyone think of this plan before

Gaara is blushing because his new dream is just to samba dance with Naruto into the night

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Teuchi giving Naruto an “all you can eat forever” coupon that’s cute our sweet boy is so loved 

Gaara: My wedding gift to you, Naruto... is me :)

“I’m just disappointed that we aren’t going to get to see you dance, Gaara” you know what that’s fair Kankuro me too 

Hahahaha Shino dissing Kiba’s plight for becoming Hokage to these random kids

I can’t pay attention to anything this ninja cat is saying because they’ve got Naruto’s voice and it is very distracting

There’s something to be curious about how it would be if Kiba married into a family that has a contract with the Uchiha lmao

Literally the girl who Kiba is supposed to be in love with is given Hinata’s voice #kibahinarights

“Oh, just take it. Money means nothing to me” the Beekeeper is truly one of the strangest characters in the Naruto universe just conceptually. Why are they wearing a giant bee stinger on their butt?

LMAO @ Kiba having absolutely no self-doubt whatsoever. Goals!!

Shino becoming a teacher after the war is actually one of the post-699 futures I like, good for him!

Iruka sweet man Naruto has compared you to a father like 1500 times have you not overheard him one (1) time

Kakashi is such a dumb stubborn bitch trying to find a way for Naruto to have a happy wedding... I love him

“This is my fault, I never taught him how to treat women! Not that I even really know about that kind of thing of course” Iruka Umino confirmed canonically gay

“I just have to bow my head a little” KKIR: 2; Me: 0

I love this tradition of Hokage boys bowing their heads for cooperation between villages yesssssssssssss

Outro for the whole OG Team 7.... I’m fine everything’s fine I’m good cool cool cool cool cool

The implication that they just sell Kakashi wigs in the village... amazing

I know this is about to be an emotionally poignant moment but what Naruto’s presence is reminding is that the only word he has said in the past 6 episodes is “ramen” LMAO

“I’m going to have to apologize to her for raising you as a such a thoughtless, inconsiderate man” raising you... RAISING YOU..................... TRULY PRESIDENT OF THE NARUTO’S DAD SOCIETY GOD BLESS IRUKA UMINO

LOOK AT THIS CRYBABY NINJA THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT ONE OF MY FAVOURITE PARTS OF KONOHA HIDEN WAS HOW IRUKA KEPT BURSTING INTO TEARS OVER NARUTO EVERY OTHER MINUTE THIS IS WHAT BONDS LOOK LIKE

God..................... the Team 7 lover in me just despairs of this final episode bc they’re all separated and also Tenzo needs justice 4 being Kakashi’s co-wedding planner it’s in the book I read it!!!!

I will set aside my feelings to recognize that Kakashi looks very handsome

Goodbye Naruto you were certainly an experience and I mean that in every possible intonation 

#decided to watch the last animated season i'm truly done!!! #ayesha talks anime #ayesha liveblogs nahruto shipduden #liveblogging #naruto series #long post

[isolavirtuosa]

Starting Over (For Real?) 33-34

[fanfiction] NaruSasu

Read the previous parts here.

- 33 -

  “Fucking hell, Uchiha!” Sai yelled, genuinely angry as he followed me into the burning building.

I didn’t really like to do things by the book.  It had been yet another month with no progress into finding the mizukage, so the moment I had a solid lead on where the dissenting ninjas were being held captive, I set the place on fire.

Literally.

“Where are we even going?” Sai asked, his voice going quieter.  There could be hostiles listening.

“Right there, I think,” I said, pointing to the giant tree sprouting up in the middle of the hallway.

“Oh, right,” he said.  He pulled out a scroll and started painting.

Apparently not everyone had fled the fire, and two musket-wielding guards suddenly appeared, pointing their weapons at us.

“I’ve got you,” I said, throwing up flames around us.

Sai just continued painting.  He already knew I had his back.

The guards fired uselessly at us.

“Let’s go,” Sai said, jumping on the broad back of a long-necked bird that looked like something straight out of science-fiction.

I got on its back and we flew towards the first pod, slicing it down from the tree.  It landed on a ground with a thump.

“Try not to send them into the wall of flames,” Sai said cheerfully, balancing himself in a standing position and slicing down the next pod.

We worked quickly, cutting down more than ten of the pods, when something stopped me.  “That pod-” I started to say, even as the sound of an explosion ripped through my ears and pain ripped through my right shoulder.  It was a different color from all the other pods.  It was all I could think about as I fell to the ground.

“Sasuke!” Sai shouted, already disposing of the would-be assassin with a flick of his kunai.

I could see him flying towards me, but the edges of my vision were starting to black out.  I tried to focus on him, but it was like looking at something small at the end of a dark tunnel, barely visible.  My head was pounding.  Had I landed on it?  And my shoulder.  I hadn’t felt pain like this since…

Naruto, flying towards me, crackling with power.  His hand reached out, and mine to meet his.  Everything exploded in light.

The pain in my arm had been unbearable.  It was like I was being pulled apart.  Everything was white, then black, then white again, and when I woke up my arm was gone.  It was the price I had to pay, but Naruto’s arm was gone, too, and I just couldn’t understand why he would make that sacrifice.

“Because we’re friends,” he repeated, and this time it wasn’t good enough.

I needed more.

“When you hurt, I hurt,” he said, and I was faced with the inescapable realization that we were bonded together, brothers, a family, more than family, yet it was swallowed up by my weakness, my jealousy, my inability to love and be loved.

“It’s my loss,” I said, and I felt free.

Of course Naruto couldn’t leave it at that.

“Shut up, usuratonkachi,” I groaned, keeping my face turned away from him as a tear slipped down my cheek.

He was quiet then.

I thought we’d said all there was to say.  I could feel the last of my chakra fading away.  My rinnegan was starting to power down, and I could feel the rustle of something against my legs.

I was at peace as I drifted off into what I thought was death.

I woke up again on Naruto’s back.

He struggled to take each step, stumbling and almost dropping me.

“What are you doing, idiot?” I breathed out incredulously.

“If we just stay out there bakin’ in the sun, we’re gonna die,” he explained reasonably.

“How the hell are you even standing?” I asked.

“Kurama’s healing factor kicked in.”

“Then go ahead yourself and get help,” I said, trying to climb off of his back.

He held onto me stubbornly with his only arm awkwardly wrapped around my back.  “We go together,” he said.  “Besides, there’s no one to help.  Everyone’s been sucked up into the God Tree.”

“Sakura and Kakashi?” I suggested.

“I can’t feel them,” he said, shaking his head.

“Then why don’t we just release the seal?” I asked.

“Can’t until you’re powered up,” he said.

He wasn’t wrong.  My rinnegan was dead.

“What’s to stop the tree from pulling us in, then?” I asked, trying to take in our surroundings more carefully now that I was more awake and aware of the dangers lurking around us.

“Me,” Naruto said, stumbling forward.

He wasn’t kidding.  Any hint of the God Tree attacking and Naruto had me settled on the ground, chakra firing from his only hand in a matter of seconds.

I felt like deadweight.  “Leave me behind.”

“You’re the only one who can stop this whole thing!”

“If I die, the seal will be released anyway.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just do.”

“And what if it doesn’t work?!”

“You can Edo Tensei me back to life.”

“And who am I going to sacrifice to bring you back?!  Just stay alive in the first place!”

I pressed my face into his neck.

Naruto let out a sharp breath.

Neither of us said anything.

Naruto took another stumbling step forward.

Eventually, he got us to the water.  We both drank and drank, completely dehydrated.

I sat with my feet in the water, staring up at the destruction we’d wrought on the Valley of the End.

“How do you feel?” Naruto asked, coming to sit next to me.

“Still drained,” I said, tapping under my eye.

“If you could activate your rinnegan, you could take some of my chakra,” he said.

“I’m not taking your chakra.”

“You didn’t have a problem with it yesterday.”

“Yesterday we were fighting to the death.”

“Well now we’re fighting to the life.”

“That’s not a thing, idiot.”

“You’re the idiot who just wants to give up and die.”

“Hn.”

Naruto bumped me with his elbow.

I turned to give him a look.

He reached out suddenly, touching my cheek.

My look turned incredulous, even as my heart was racing.  Probably from all the blood loss.

“I can’t lose you again,” was all he said before standing up and stretching.  He then proceeded to stumble and fall in the water.

I don’t remember the last time I’d laughed so hard.

Naruto came out of the water sputtering, but then he went quiet.

I wiped at the tears that had squeezed out of my eyes from the intensity of my laughter.  “You are so dumb,” I said, unable to stop smiling.

He was in that freezing water in the middle of fall, gazing up at me like I was something precious.

“Maybe if we find some food my body will heal enough to start making chakra again,” I said, purposely not looking at him.

“Maybe,” he agreed, then splashed me with water.

I tried to blow him away with a katon without even thinking about it.  It didn’t work, of course, but I felt like I was flicking a lighter, and even though I couldn’t get the flame to catch, it was still sparking, almost there but not quite.

Naruto struggled to swim back to me with one arm, pulling himself out of the water and flopping on his back.  A trail of red followed him through the water.

“You’re not okay,” I informed him.

“I’m fine,” he said.  “Just have to release the jutsu.  Then we can go to the hospital and relax.”

I believed in Naruto’s ability to defy the odds, but I was pretty sure that we were going to die.

I should have realized that when Naruto improbably found us food and I was miraculously able to activate my rinnegan so that we could release the Tsukuyomi, all within a matter of a few short hours, that this really couldn’t possibly be real.

I remained blissfully ignorant for the next two years.

Of course, it was easy to be ignorant when I had everything I had never wanted to acknowledge that I needed.

Sakura, my sister, kept her distance as she was grappling with everything that I’d done to her.  When she finally said, “I forgive you,” it was more of a relief than I could have imagined.

Kakashi, the father figure, protected me from the Council and got me safe passage out of Konoha.

And then there was Naruto.  Naruto… kept touching me.

Even when we were still in the hospital, he was always sitting on my bed with his knee pressed to mine.  He was always leaning in too close to talk.  He was always brushing his fingers against the back of my hand.

As my trial approached, he seemed to get even more desperate, to the point that he was straight-up holding my hand.

“Naruto?”

“Mm?” he hummed, eyes closed as he lounged beside me.

“This is really gay,” I said, staring at the way his fingers curled around mine.

“So?” he asked defensively, eyes flicking open.

“So it’s gay,” I said.

“Do you have a problem with that?” he asked, holding my hand more forcefully.

“I’m gay, so no,” I said, the words just slipping off my tongue like it wasn’t my deepest, darkest secret.

“Well, I’m gay, too, so okay then,” he said, and I could feel the heat coming off of his palm.

My heart was hammering in my chest.  “You’re not gay,” I snipped.

“Um, I like you, and you’re a guy, right?”

The hammering seemed to increase.  “You’re not gay,” I repeated.  “Maybe you’re bi.”

“Why does it matter?” he asked, sounding annoyed.  His hand was full-on sweating now.  “I like you and only you, and that’s gay enough, isn’t it?”

It was the perfect amount of gay.  “You don’t like me like that,” I muttered, because of course I was never going to accept this logical fallacy.  Despite the fact that he was always making it blatantly obvious that he did like me like that.

“Sasuke.”

He was trying to get me to look at him, and he wasn’t going to win that game.  I continued to stare out the window, wondering what shade of red my face was.

We were still holding hands.

“Sasuke,” he repeated, the nerves apparent in his voice.  “Sasuke, please say something so I don’t feel like a total ass.”

“I’m not a miracle worker.”

“Sasuke!”

I squeezed his hand.  “…it’s gay enough.”

“Really…?” he asked hopefully.

“I like you,” I said quietly, shamed by the admission.

“I feel the same way,” he said like it was the most natural thing in the world, and then he leaned in and kissed me, and that was the beginning of the end.

Naruto left the village with me on that hot August afternoon, on a goodwill mission from the sixth hokage.  The accused criminal who traveled at his side seemed to undercut the mission, but I was too stupidly in love to notice.

I was in love.

With Naruto of all people.

I mean, deep down, I’d always known.

Still.

It was Naruto.

“Look, Sasuke, I made a fort out of ramen!”

Naruto.

I loved him.

I loved every minute of every day with this stupid idiot.

Then we met Kabuto.

Then we met Kabuto and…

“He’s waking up,” Sai murmured.

“I need to sedate him,” Sakura said.  “Give me a minute.”

I blinked blearily at Sai.  All I felt was firey pain burning in my shoulder.

“Hey, best friend,” he said.  “Don’t worry, you’ll be unconscious soon.”

I swallowed.

“Count back from twenty, Sasuke,” Sakura said, prepping a needle.

I wasn’t going to do that.

She stuck the needle in my arm.  “It helps.”

The pain made it hard to think.

Everything blurred together.

There were three of us after that.  We traveled together, dismantling the oppressive power structure as went.

The three of us, always together.

I never felt so complete.

It didn’t make sense.

It was wrong.

I ignored the nagging voice in the back of my head and clung to my happiness.  A feeling I hadn’t felt since I was a child.  Since my parents.

The relationship between Naruto and I was so comfortable that I didn’t even notice all of my weird sexual hang-ups.  He never seemed worried that I only did things to him.  It was normal.  He never pushed me to let him touch me.  Why would he need to do that?  Wasn’t he just the luckiest guy in the world that his boyfriend liked blowing him and didn’t ask for anything in return?  Naruto, who always gave and gave and gave, deserved to just receive and receive and receive, and of course he would have no problem with that.

Everything was perfect, but there were cracks, and they kept getting harder to ignore.

“I love you,” Naruto told me like always as we stood in the middle of the battlefield, covered in blood and sweat.  More of that blood was Naruto’s than should have been, and he was leaning on me heavily, barely able to stand.

The words came tumbling out.  “I love you,” I whispered back.  Just saying the words out loud left me exposed.

He kissed my cheek, then collapsed into me completely.

Our partner came up behind the two of us.

“Naruto, he’s…” I started to say, open and raw and ready to fall apart.

“I’ve got it taken care of,” he said, taking Naruto from me.

Everything would be all right.

Just that thought, and I knew.  The inconsistencies of this world were laid out in front of me when I let myself be at my most vulnerable.

I didn’t look at the sky for one year, because I knew what I would see.

One year to indulge in my impossible fantasy.

One more year with Naruto.

One more year with him.

And when the one year was over, I woke up.

“Hey, shhhh,” Sakura soothed me, pushing my sticky bangs from my forehead.  “You’re okay.”

My whole body was shaking.

“I got the bullet out,” she said, her fingers moving into my hair.  The gentle stroking motion relaxed me more than I cared to admit.  “You lost a lot of blood, and there was some damage to your blood vessels, but I think between Karin and I, you’ll be nursed back to health in no time.”

I looked at her.  “…thanks,” I finally said.

“You’re welcome, butthead,” she said affectionately.  She ruffled my hair, then removed her hand.  “Are you hungry?”

I shook my head.

“Okay, I’ll let you rest.”

“What about all the ninjas?” I asked.  “In the tree?”

“Well, your crazy fire kept them safe until Karin and Sai could pull them out.”

“The mizukage…?”

“Wasn’t there.”

I sighed and closed my eyes.

“Get some rest, okay?” Sakura said.  “Your body needs to recover.”

“Yeah,” I said, wanting her to just go and yet also desperately wanting her to stay.

I didn’t want to think about what I’d just relived.

I didn’t want to remember his soft smile the last time I saw him.

“I’ll meet up with you two in a couple of days,” he’d said, waving to Naruto and I as he disappeared into the sunset.

I ached.

 - 34 -

  “Fuck humans and their fucking weapons,” I grumbled as Sai fed me soup.

“You’re a human,” he pointed out kindly.

“I am a proper human,” I said.  “I use my own human-born abilities to fight and harm others, not some cheap parlor trick.”

“That sounds pretty specist,” Sai hummed.

“Good,” I said, opening my mouth and letting him feed me.  Every time I tried to raise my right arm, unbearable pain shot through my shoulder.  It basically left me a helpless infant (again).

“It’s not good to think that one group of people is superior to another group of people just because of the circumstances of their birth,” Sai reasoned, scooping the spoon back through the soup.

“Why not?” I asked.  “We obviously are superior, and yet we’ve been subjugated by this feudal system for years, using our superior abilities to serve the whims of inferior beings.”

Sai pushed the spoon into my open mouth.

I frowned at him and swallowed.  “And now they’ve just taken it too far.  Replicating God Trees to capture all the strongest ninjas and keep the weaker ones under their thumb.  Developing stupid fucking weapons that serve no practical purpose.”

“Well, the weapons seem pretty effective to me,” Sai commented.  “I mean, they took you out, so…”

“Do I look out to you?” I growled.

“A little bit, yeah,” he said, shoving the spoon in my mouth again.

I sulked.

“It’s great to see you passionate about something,” Sai said.  ���It’s just, sometimes your passion gets a little… genocidal.”

I glowered at him.

“Like right now, I’ve dared to disagree with you about something and your obvious go-to is that you want to kill me,” he said.

“I don’t want to kill you.”

“Just maim a little?”

“Just maim a little,” I agreed, then sighed.  He was right.  ‘Kill first, ask questions later’ had been the strategy of my late teen years, and it had nearly been my ruin.

“Here, this is the last of it,” he said, holding the spoon out to me.

I opened my mouth and finished the soup.

Sai patted me on the head like a child and took the dishes out of the tent.

I stared at the door flap, waiting for him to come back.  I… wanted his company…?

“I have returned, Best Friend Sasuke!” he declared cheerfully, throwing the flap aside as he entered.

“Great,” I mumbled.

“See, you’re not even being sarcastic,” he said, sitting on the sleeping bag next to mine.

“Yes, I am,” I protested.

“I finished my new comic,” he said, pushing his notebook into my lap.

I took it, letting my eyes drift over the pages.

Sai, in his never-ending pursuit of a personality, had decided to draw a comic based loosely on his life.  It currently chronicled the adventures of “Kai” and “Kasuke” as they traveled through the “Land of Moisture”, looking for the “lakekage” with their two good pals “Sarin” and “Kakura”.  I made it sound derivative, but it was actually clever and well-drawn.  Sai had a good eye for chronicling what was happening around him, even if he had diarrhea of the mouth every time he tried to have an actual conversation with someone.

This issue wasn’t as funny as usual.  Kasuke got shot by a stupid musket and Kai was having a lot of sad inner monologues worrying about his best friend.

I looked at him.

He smiled.

“Don’t do that,” I said.

He let his face fall.

“I’m okay,” I said.

“Yes,” he agreed.  “Now you are.  But getting you to Sakura…”

“Thanks for saving my life,” I said.

He smiled a little at that, a more genuine expression.  “Every time.”

“Every time?” I repeated.

“Every time you’re in trouble, you know I will have your back,” he said, nodding solemnly.

“Yeah, I know,” I agreed.

“Can we share a bro hug now?” he asked.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t even move my shoulder?”

“I’ll gently do all the hugging!”

“No.”

“You really don’t like to be touched.”

“Rarely.”

“How do you and Naruto fornicate?”

“We don’t,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Um, Uchiha, I traveled with you two for months,” Sai said.

“So?”

“I shared rooms with you, I shared walls with you…”

“And…?”

“I walked in on you…”

I took in his genuine confusion.  I thought about trying to be honest.  Sai was always talking his confused sexuality out with me, so why couldn’t I do the same?

Because I was fucking Uchiha, that’s why.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, bringing the discussion to a close.

“Is it that only Naruto can touch you?” he asked.  “Because he’s your lover?”

I glared at him.

“You just seem anomalous, and since I use you as my guidepost of proper human behavior, I want to know if I’m learning something strange from you,” he said.

I breathed out long and loud.  “Yes, Sai, I’m weird.”

“How so?” he asked, genuinely wanting to know.

“I don’t like people in my personal space.”

“You let Sakura stroke your hair when you first woke up.”

“Do you keep a notebook of everything I do?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

“Of course,” he said, pulling out another notebook and putting it on top of his sketchbook.  “How else can I learn from you?”

“Stalking is creepy,” I informed him.

“And yet everyone you love stalks you, and you allow it,” he pointed out.

“Anyway, I was weak and barely conscious when that happened with Sakura.”

“I think you crave touch but are afraid of it due to past trauma,” Sai decided.

“What kind of nonsense psychobabble is that?”

“Just throwing out some ideas.  It seems the same with your lover, Naruto, as well.  Sometimes you want him near you, and other times you seem repulsed by his closeness.”

“Can you just drop it already?”

“But I want to understand…”

“Well, I don’t understand, so how are you supposed to understand?!” I snapped.

He looked at me curiously.  “But you always know everything.”

I looked away from his gaze.  “You know that’s not true.”

“Well you act like it,” he said.  “I admire that bravado.  If you believe in something, then it becomes truth.”

“That sounds unhealthy.”

“Oh… it does, doesn’t it?” he hummed, pondering it over.  “I never thought you were healthy, though.  Just cool and confident.  I mean, no one around us is sane, so it seems to me like being insane is what is normal.”

“Now you’re calling me insane…?”

“I do know about Revolution.”

I sighed.  Why did I have to be held accountable for all the ridiculous things I’d said and done in the past?

Sai studied my face.  “You actually regret it?”

I looked away from his knowing eyes.

“You usually stand by your convictions,” he commented.  “You’re always telling Naruto you were right to leave the village.”

“I was right to leave the village.”

“But you don’t think your plan to kill all the kages and rebuild the ninja world from their ashes was right?”

“Who’s to say?” I said with a shrug.

His look got sharper.  “There’s something else you regret.”

“You have plenty of regrets,” I deflected.

“Yes,” he agreed.

“Would you like to describe them to me in explicit detail?” I asked.

“I can try.”

“Really?  You don’t mind cutting yourself open and bleeding for me?”

“Well, if it will make your convalescence go more quickly,” he said.

“Okay, well, cut away,” I said, trying to gesture imperiously with my hand and immediately letting it fall back to the ground as pain shot through my shoulder.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” he said.  “Oh, wait, you already did.”

My eyes narrowed.

“I guess lately I’ve been thinking about how many people I killed for what I thought was a just mission, but were really just the megalomaniacal dreams of a madman.”

Sai always knew how to jump right into things.  “You did what you did,” I said with a shrug.

“I took people’s lives,” he said, shaking his head.  “Now I wonder what it all meant?  Who did I kill and why?  I never thought to ask the questions, I just thought that if I accomplished the objective then the mission would be a success.  Now I can’t help but wonder… were they really criminals?  Were they really Konoha’s enemies, or were they Danzo’s enemies?  I… I’m starting to have feelings, and they’re not good ones.”

“That’s why it’s better to be dead inside,” I said.

“That’s true, because even if you can’t feel the good, you can’t feel all this bad,” Sai agreed.  “But then what’s the point of existing?”

“Also a very valid question,” I said.

Sai frowned.  “Best Friend Sasuke, that sounded vaguely self-harmy.”

“I’ve never self-harmed, Sai,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Sometimes I worry that you might.”

“Um, why?”

“Because we’re so similar,” he said, black eyes staring into mine.

“Sai…” I trailed off, not liking what I was seeing.

He forced a smile.

“Stop that.”

It drooped.

“I’m… here,” I offered quietly.  “Always.  I’m always here for you.”

“I’m here for you, too,” he said, holding his hand out to me.

I took it, giving him a very limp and limited-movement shake.  “What matters now is moving forward, not looking back,” I decided.

Sai was still holding awkwardly onto my hand.  “Maybe, but sometimes we can’t move forward without facing what we left behind.”

I pulled my hand away from his sweaty, awkwardness.  “Does saying it out loud make it any better?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head.  “Nothing makes it better.  But maybe it gets a little farther away.”

We were both quiet for a long time.

“I think-” Sai started to say at the same time that I said, “Itachi-”

Sai stopped talking, his mouth slightly open.

I slammed mine closed.

“Oh, Sasuke,” he said softly.

“It’s nothing,” I muttered, looking away.  “He was just in my dream world.  It’s stupid.  It’s nothing.”

“Oh, Sasuke,” he repeated.

“What?!” I snapped.  “Do you think I’m so stupid for being trapped in an illusion for years where my obviously dead brother was brought miraculously back to life by a forbidden jutsu and decided to travel with me and my pathetic crush while we went around the world trying to dismantle the ninja hierarchy?”

“Not stupid, just willfully ignorant,” he said.

My head bowed and I closed my eyes.  It felt too heavy to hold it up.

“At least your world actually had dreams and possibilities,” Sai said.  “Why did the rest of us all imagine such hopeless futures for ourselves?”

I swallowed.  Then I swallowed again.  I could feel it all boiling over, about the spill out.

Sai was suddenly clambering over my lap, pulling my head into his chest.

“Don’t hug me,” I ground out, trying to even out my breathing.

“I want to respect your wishes, but you need this,” he said.

“What do you know about what I need?” I growled, my voice cracking on the last word.  I swallowed again.

He just squeezed me tightly.

I made a very frustrated noise that immediately turned into a cry.  I stopped it, pressing my face into his shirt.  “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not,” Sai said, starting to sway us side-to-side.  “None of us are okay.  And that’s okay.  But we have to express our emotions.”

I laugh-cried into his chest.  “Yes, you and I should express our emotions.”

“We should,” he said, resting his chin on top of my head as he continued to sway us.  “This feels really good.”

“Are you going to get confused about our relationship again?” I mumbled, sniffling a little but still not quite giving in to crying.

“No, this is definitely a Best Friends Hug,” he said, holding me close but in no way making inappropriate sexual innuendos.

I almost wished he would so I could yell at him instead of clinging to him, my arm curling weakly around his back and holding onto the hem of his shirt.

Sai stayed quiet as he rocked my shaking frame.

“He murdered my entire family and made me relive it over and over,” I whispered.

Sai bent his face in closer to mine so he could hear.

“I spent my whole life hating him,” I continued.  “I was going to kill him, no matter what.  And then he died and…  I was wrong.  I was wrong about my entire life.  But I couldn’t admit it, so I took that hatred of my brother and I put it on Danzo, and then he was dead, and I just took my hatred and put it on the entire ninja world, and it just never ends.”

“It doesn’t,” he agreed softly.

“If I could take back all that hatred… if I could have…  I just wish I still had my brother.  But that’s fucking crazy.  What he did…  But Naruto and I just traveled with him like it was nothing.  We just traveled together as a family and I’d never been happier in my entire life.  It felt like everything had fallen into place, and yet it was so improbable, and I didn’t want to see it but I had to see it, because there was no way that life could ever be like that.  Because life is pain and suffering, and we never get what we want.”

Sai tilted my chin up.

I blinked rapidly, trying to keep my eyes dry.

“I’ve never been happy,” he said.  “But for a while, as part of Team Seven…  I started to think that I could be.  And now.  As part of Team Sasuke.”

I rolled my eyes at the name and caught myself sniffing again.

“We’re going to make a world where people can be happy.”

“And how are we going to do that?”

“I don’t know,” Sai said with a shrug.  “But let’s give the world back its hopes and dreams.”

“You sound like Naruto,” I muttered.

“Wow, thank you,” he said, giving me a last, tight squeeze that felt so good before pulling away and sitting beside me again.

I decided not to think too deeply about all the stupid things I’d just said and let the comfortable silence wash over both of us.

#narusasu #isola starting over #shit's really going down now #i know it's sacrilege to the narusasu bond but sasusai are best friends forever and their bond is sacred

[sun-summoning]

part i | part ii | part iii

-

sakura and sarada make their way to the dock, but five minutes into their walk, sarada gets fussy and demands sakura carry her. after alternating between nuzzling sakura’s neck and thrashing around, sakura hears the girl’s stomach grumble and can’t help but snort.

“don’t laugh at me!” sarada yells. “it’s not nice!”

“sorry, sorry!” sakura quickly soothes. she kisses sarada’s forehead without really thinking about. “you’re just super cute. and hilarious,”

“you’re still laughing, mama!”

sakura clenches her jaw as she works on smothering the rest of her amusement. when she’s quiet, sarada peers up at her shyly. “when i’m hungry,” sakura tells her, “naruto isn’t allowed to talk to me. usually he says something dumb and i snap at him in my hanger.”

“what’s hanger?”

“when you’re hungry and angry.”

“oh.”

“yup.” sakura winks at her and sarada grins back. “why don’t we get some dinner?” she suggests.

she should probably let naruto and sasuke know where she went so they don’t worry, but then she snorts again, not giving a single care for naruto and sasuke who abandoned her with what they though was a ghost demon child. screw them. they could worry.

not really wanting anyone to see them and ask questions about who this girl is, sakura buys them a tray of takoyaki. they stop for some drinks and dessert and then they eat by the lake in the uchiha district. they sit together on the dock, their feet dangling off the edge, and watch the sunset between bites.

sakura has to wipe sauce off of sarada’s cheeks on more than one occasion and has long given up on telling her not to wipe her hands on her pants. all the while, sarada regales her with stories of her parents. 

or, from how sarada words things, about sakura and sakura’s apparent husband.

“-one time papa and i made were going to make you breakfast because papa said you had a bad week.”

“aren’t you a little young to be cooking?”

“yeah, but if i don’t help then the food will be yucky and you would be sad. papa likes tomatoes and he always puts them in stuff but tomatoes are gross.”

sarada continues talking and sakura nearly chokes because you know who else likes tomatoes? 

sasuke. 

and who did sarada say her father was? 

also sasuke. 

“--and remember the resort papa took us to for our birthdays? can we go back there again mama now that he’s back from his mission? or--” sarada pauses and bites her lip. “when he gets better, i mean.”

sakura swallows thickly. “um. sure.” sarada seems to brighten up a fraction so sakura smiles at her. “yes, we definitely can.” and although she knows she shouldn’t, she adds, “i promise.”

“okay!”

sarada continues chatting, beginning most things with “mama, remember when--” and telling her silly stories about her own antics or those of her parents. she talks about sakura like she’s this incredible supermom and about her papa like he’s adores them both so much. she mentions little things about her papa that make sakura pause and consider that maybe sarada’s claim might be true. maybe sasuke could be her father. 

but then sakura looks at her reflection in the water and remembers she’s seventeen, just got back from a war, and definitely not the woman this little girl is talking about. she’s too young to have had a child, she knows she most certainly did not have a child, and, most importantly, sasuke doesn’t love her the way this girl’s father loves her mother.

-

when they return to sasuke’s house, there’s no trace of sakura or the girl. naruto freaks out, rushing through the house and opening every door while screaming sakura’s name and swearing revenge on the ghost demon child if she did anything to hurt sakura. 

“can you not?” sasuke asks.

naruto glares at him. “how can you say that? sakura-chan is missing!”

“or she’s just gone.”

“that’s even worse!”

sasuke counts to ten to keep his temper in check. “naruto, sakura’s shoes are gone and so is her bag. she probably just...went out.”

“hm.” kakashi crosses his arms. “sakura took the potential threat outside without any sort of back up. that’s...surprisingly irresponsible of her.”

sasuke rolls his eyes. “or just nice? the girl is a kid, not a monster. unless--” he eyes the scroll in kakashi’s hand. he still hasn’t explained what it is or why he needed to come back with them when he had more important things to do like assign missions or review the annual budget or read porn at his desk. “--there’s something you’d like to share?”

“yeah!” naruto adds oh so helpfully. “what the hell, sensei! you still haven’t said anything helpful.”

kakashi is saved from having to shamelessly bullshit his way out of an explanation when the front door opens again and they hear sakura talking and the little girl giggling. the two enter the kitchen and naruto grabs sakura. he sweeps her into a tight hug, spinning her around the room.

“ugh,” sasuke scoffs. “can you not?”

“fuck you!” naruto yells when he lets go of sakura.

“oooooh, you said a bad word.”

the little voice draws everyone’s attention to the girl. suddenly shy in the company of more people, she moves closer to sakura until she’s standing behind her legs. sakura bends down and murmurs some soothing words before picking the girl up. 

sakura��s quick affection makes sasuke a bit anxious. did they make a bad decision leaving her alone with the little girl? shit. of course they did! what were they thinking? they knew nothing about her and they just left sakura alone?! sasuke meets naruto’s eyes and knows he’s thinking the same thing. they left sakura with the ghost demon child and now she had sakura under her control and--

“i’m just going to give sarada a quick bath,” sakura tells them.

her mundane words snap sasuke out of his panic. “what?”

“sarada,” she repeats, gesturing to the girl with a turn of her head. “she’s a bit of a messy eater--”

“hey! mama’s being a meanie!”

“--so i’m just going to give her a quick bath.”

she goes upstairs to the bathroom where they first found the girl, leaving sasuke and naruto to wonder what was going on. they both turn to kakashi, only to find him almost hyperventilating.

“whoa, sensei!” naruto yells as he approaches the older man. “are you okay? you need to breathe.”

“i can’t.”

sasuke stands. “should i get sakura?”

“fuck!” kakashi makes a noise reminiscent of a dying animal crossed with laughter. “i’m going to die. i can’t. this is amazing.”

“what the hell are you talking about?” naruto asks.

kakashi shakes his head but again, sasuke’s gaze is drawn to the scroll he’s holding onto.

“you know who she is,” sasuke realizes. 

kakashi’s eyes crinkle as he grins. “that i do.”

-

sakura stays with sarada for a few minutes before understanding she’s smart enough to not let herself drown in the bath. she tells sarada she’s just going to get some clothes because, well, sakura didn’t think that far ahead, and when she’s standing in the doorway, she decides that sarada might be smart enough but accidents still happen, so she leaves behind a clone. 

she goes back down to the kitchen and glares at naruto and sasuke.

“hello, fuckboys.”

naruto pouts. “what’s that for?”

“um, for abandoning me earlier?”

“well you’re a jerk too! you left without even leaving a note. we were worried the ghost demon child got you!”

“she isn’t a ghost demon child, moron. and obviously you weren’t that worried,” sakura says, nodding to the cup of instant noodles naruto prepared in her absence, “considering you had time to cook.” 

“it’s called stress eating. can i live?”

“children!” kakashi calls, getting their attention. “can we focus? we have a strange child and a strange scroll to attend to?”

“right.”

“why don’t you summarize what you’ve learned so far, sakura.”

so she does: 

the girl upstairs is sarada. she’s four-years-old and think she’s from konoha and that sakura is her mother. she also thinks sasuke is her father but sakura keeps that fact to herself. sarada hasn’t done anything that might indicate she’s something evil or might have some bad intentions. she’s just kind of there. calling sakura her mother.

“are you?” kakashi asks.

naruto laughs and sasuke mutters, “really?”

“of course i’m not her mother!” sakura gestures to herself. she chooses naruto and turns to him. “naruto, look at these boobs and tell me i’ve had a baby.”

“i--” naruto looks into her eyes pointedly. “i don’t think i’m allowed to look at your boobs.”

sakura raises an eyebrow at him. “they’re my boobs and i told you to. why would you not be allowed?”

“well, it’s not okay to sexualize you like that. you’re my friend!”

“sexualize? ugh!” sakura crosses her arms, irritated. “i told you to look at them in the context of gauging whether or not they were dragged down by motherhood, not to--” she shakes her head. “you’re gross.”

“at least i own it!”

“that doesn’t make it better!”

sasuke, who had not been looking at sakura’s boobs, decides to end their pointless argument. “we get it. you didn’t have a baby, sakura.”

“thank you.”

“but,” kakashi says, “that doesn’t change the fact that she could still be your kid.”

“okay, you lost me.”

that’s when kakashi grins. or, at least, he probably does, judging by the way his eyes crinkling. damn that mask of his.  “have you kids ever considered time travel?” 

“i...what?”

“time travel,” kakashi repeats.

sakura nods. “no, yeah, i heard you.”

“then why’d you say ‘what’?”

“because apparently tsunade-sama, the greatest hokage this village has ever seen, was succeeded by a delusional idiot.”

“wow.”

sakura shakes her head as she laughs a little. “time travel? kakashi-sensei, that’s ridiculous!”

“well...” naruto, who seems to be considering the idea, frowns at her. “as someone who had a fox living in his stomach for his whole life, are you for real, girl who literally hopped between dimensions to save sasuke?”

shocked that he isn’t as baffled as she is, sakura looks to sasuke for a voice of reason. instead she finds him genuinely thinking over kakashi’s claim.

“sasuke-kun--”

“why are you letting her call you ‘mama’?” sasuke asks.

“what?” 

they all nod, actually curious, and sakura flushes. it’s not like she was encouraging it. she tried to make her stop but the truth is she just didn’t have the heart to. the little girl seemed to think she was someone else -- someone that she positively adored -- and it would have been cruel to stop her. sakura shrugs. 

“b--because i--” sakura huffs and glares at them. “i feel bad!”

“you feel bad.”

“yes!” sakura shrugs. “i just...i don’t have the heart to stop her. she’s just believes it so strongly and i’d feel bad saying no.” she chews her lip. “and she’s adorable.”

as if on cue, sarada begins calling for mama from upstairs.

sakura moves but stops herself to prove a point. sarada calls her again and sasuke raises an eyebrow at sakura, challenging her. 

“you gonna do something about that?” he asks.

“no!” sakura hisses instinctively. but then sakura calls her one more time and she falters. “okay, gotta go, bye!”

-

sakura comes back down soon after to ask sasuke for some old, small clothes that might fit sarada. then she smiles sheepishly and gestures to the drenched front of her own shirt and asks if maybe she can borrow something too. 

rolling his eyes, sasuke leaves naruto and kakashi and goes upstairs with sakura. he hands her some things from his adolescence that would probably be too big on sarada but fit decently enough on sakura.

he lingers in his room after she’s left and considers the entire situation.

who the hell is sarada? where did she come from? and why was she in his house? 

naruto’s “ghost demon child” theory is ridiculous but kakashi’s time travel one actually has some merit to it. sasuke considers the little girl that follows sakura around like her shadow and tries to place her. did she come from the past? is she a relative of his? but that can’t be. there’s no way she could mix sakura up for her real mother. there was no one in his clan that looked like sakura. assuming, of course, she even came from his clan. 

sasuke frowns because she had to be an uchiha. she had the features and she was in his home, walking around like it was hers.

so then did she come from the future?

the question causes sasuke to still. he swallows thickly and because he’s alone, he actually considers it. did the girl come from the future? if she did and sakura was her mother did that make him--

sasuke blushes at the thought. he looks around wildly as if he’s been caught doing something inappropriate. but if sakura was her mother and he was her father, why wasn’t she going around calling him “papa” as much as she was calling sakura “mama”?

it startles him how easily he accepts this possibility, but the truth is there’s no reason it should. a child with sakura? it’s not like there has been anyone else he cared about. and he highly doubts he’ll ever care about someone the way he cares about sakura. he hasn’t done anything to show his feelings, but surely at some point he had to have been able to do something. right?

“screw this.”

deciding that it would be best to just repress his feelings and his thoughts, sasuke exits his bedroom to return downstairs. he passes the bathroom where sakura and sarada are, and he peers in through the open door. 

there he finds sakura kneeling in front of sarada, drying the girl’s hair with a towel while sarada tells her a story including sweeping hand gestures and a lot of smiles on sakura’s end. they both look ridiculous in his clothes. sarada is swimming in his shirt and sakura’s just fits awkwardly. 

but what catches his eye is the uchiha crest on their backs. 

suddenly sakura is standing, looking his way and coming closer. she smiles that sheepish grin she uses when she has to ask him a small favour. “hey, sasuke-kun. sarada made a mess on the floor. could i get another towel--”

“shut up.” 

sakura’s eyes widen and sasuke feels a bit guilty. 

“just. i...” sasuke doesn’t say anything though, suddenly flustered and unsure. his heart is pounding so loudly he wonders if sakura can hear it and wonders what she might think of it. 

“you?” she prompts. 

she looks confused and sasuke tries not to look hurt. it would be ridiculous to look hurt much less feel hurt that what -- that sakura can’t read his mind and tell how much he wants to just be with her?

he doesn’t really get it. it’s not just about being with her -- not in the way that naruto is with a new girl every other week. no. sasuke just wants to be around her. sasuke wants to see all the incredible things she’s learnt how to do and is constantly learning how to do. he wants to hear about her ideas, her missions, her damn day. he wants to laugh at her culinary failures and marvel at her chemical successes. he wants to watch her be better and maybe learn a thing or two. he just wants to be by her side.

“nothing.”

he can see that he’s disappointed her almost as much as he’s disappointed himself. he shakes his head as he goes back to his room and gets her another towel. she’s still standing where he left her, a pensive look on her face, as he hands it to her.

“thanks,” she mumbles.

“it’s fine.”

sakura nods. “i think i’ll take sarada back to my apartment tonight.”

“sure.”

“that is, if that’s okay--”

“i don’t care.”

“o--okay.”

sakura pauses, as if she’s waiting for him to say something else, but then she goes back to sarada and finishes drying her off. 

when they’re done, they go back down to naruto and kakashi. sakura tells them about her plan to keep sarada with her for the night and kakashi looks disappointed but doesn’t stop her. naruto tells her to call him if sarada does anything suspicious like watch her when she’s sleeping, but sakura tells him to go away. 

“goodnight, sasuke-kun,” sakura finally says to him when he walks her to the door. she shifts sarada in her arms so she might better balance her bag. the girl yawns widely and closes her eyes.

sasuke opens the door for them. “bye.”

as they walk away, sarada waves at him lazily and he swears he hears her mumble, “goodnight, papa.”

#fic #that time travel fic

[crescentmoonrider]

Another question, if you don't mind: five speeches/rants/are-you-fucking-kidding-me-looks Obito made while being (re-)introduced to the shinobi way of life. Could be deadly serious (examining of a flawed system viewing people as tools first and foremost), or lighthearted (dealing with Konoha architecture that makes no logical sense) or anything really (those vegetables cost how much? Fuck it I'll grow my own!)

First. Grandma was reluctant to call ninjas to help with the harvest, but even she wasn’t stubborn enough to deny needing help. So with gritted teeth she wrote the demand, and with gritted teeth Tobio didn’t stop her. Now, faced with the ninja team sent by Konoha, he wishes he had. They’re young. They’re much too young to be working, much too young to bear the brand of killers on their foreheads, much too young to be sent away from their village without an adult supervising them. He tells them as much.

Second. Kakashi says Obito was 13 when he died in the war. Tobio was 13 when grandma found him, and he still remembers the pain, still hurts to this day because his hip never healed right. He is lucky to be alive, to be able to wear his scars like he does instead of having died a bloody mess of mangled flesh mixed with rocks and bones alike. That fact horrifies him. He shouldn’t have to consider himself lucky to have barely survived a war as a child. He loves children, and the thought of sending them to die, the thought of considering this to be normal - it disgusts him. He looks at Kakashi (two years younger than him and he was warring too at that time) and he just really wants to puke.

Third. The Hokage asks Obito if he is ready to be a loyal Konoha shinobi and serve the village with his life. Blond dude (Inoichi ?) is next to him, making sure he doesn’t lie. As if Obito would tell anything but the truth. He despises ninjas. (Kakashi is tensing at that, most likely already going through three different plans to break Obito out of whatever place they’ll throw him in.) Obito despises ninjas, despises the way they look at people and say “tool”, the way they send children to death, the way they kill without an ounce of regret. He won’t be loyal to that, won’t serve anything this fucked up. However - (Kakashi closes his eyes as if praying.) However, Obito is an adult, and if he has to die so that children won’t have to, then he will do it. Obito is a friend, and he will be loyal to the end to those he cherishes. He doesn’t care for the village, but he won’t throw away the people living there. Now, if he gets a chance to change the way things are run, he sure as hell won’t waste it, don’t get him wrong. He will just… wait for it, somehow. (Or create it if he has to, and the faces on the cliff seem to smile at him at that.)

Fourth. Kakashi pauses everytime he has to enter the house. It’s slight, and Tobio wouldn’t have noticed it, but Obito is trained to analyse everything he sees, and his eyesight has always been better than most. When he confronts Kakashi about it, he already knows he isn’t going to like what he hears. By the time he manages to get the whole story out of Kakashi, he wants to set the village on fire. Who allowed Kakashi to come back to this house ? He can say the tatami mats have changed all he wants, Obito knows some things don’t disappear that easily. Hell, Obito still flinches every time he has to go underground, and he can’t even remember why. Kakashi remembers, remembers every single thing he went through, and no one ever thought to help him in any way. The next time he sees Sakura for his monthly checkup, he tells her as much (in as little details as he can, because Kakashi really wouldn’t like him talking about that stuff), and she frowns.

Fifth. Naruto has the most blinding smile, eats like he’s never going to eat again, and he calls Kakashi’s books garbage. All good points in Obito’s book. When Obito gets pulled aside by Kakashi and Jiraiya (the garbage author and incidentally also one of the strongest ninjas currently alive, somehow) to talk about the demon inside Naruto and how it almost killed Jiraiya… Obito has to remind himself that no, setting the village on fire is still not a good idea, no matter how much he wants it. (He is only allowed in the know because he and Kakashi work better as a team after all, he should be thankful for that.) A demon. In a child. And when he asks details about it (later, when Kakashi and him are at home and he can get angry all he wants), it only gets worse. Naruto eats like he’s never going to eat again, and Obito isn’t so sure it’s because he is a growing teen anymore. He doesn’t even know who to curse anymore. (He can’t change Naruto’s life, but hell if he won’t find a way for it to never happen again to anyone.)

#naruto #obito uchiha #kakashi hatake #obito AU #jemsquash #yumi got asked stuff #yumi writes #i went with the deadly serious because im an angst writer first and foremost #and somehow this turned into a sorta fanfic #ehhhh #but yeah long live obito the revolutionary #wanting to become hokage seems to be a habit for him #also featuring sakura realizing Things #'holy shit no one helped sasuke' 'holy shit kakashi spent half his life in front of a grave' #'holy shit N A R U T O' #obito was right and we were all fools (jk) #this is my second time using this tag and im starting to joke a bit less #burn it all to the ground and build it up again it would be faster #or make a giant illusion that works too i guess #(first is a scene in the comic if you didnt recognize it btw)

[barrimyr-adin]

Well here’s the Akatsuki Suppression arc notes

I hope you enjoy it because I sure fucking didn’t.

Ugh, i'm going to have to endure a bunch of Shikamaru bullshit in this arc.

Kishimoto is gonna turn Yugito into fodder, isn't he?

Asuma looked so douchey when he was younger.

I'd also like to know how he's doing all this ninja shit when he's been smoking for like twenty years.

I will admit that the OP music is pretty dope. I really like listening to it.

Is Konohamaru's voice actor also Ino's voice actor?

Part 1 Tsunade > Part 2 Tsunade

How is angrily stamping a bunch of documents while not even looking through them supposed to be taking your work seriously?

So why is Tsunade a princess but Naruto and Asuma aren't princes?

We all know damn well that the reason Kishimoto made Tsunade so "incompetent" is because she was the only female Hokage and Kishimoto fucking hates letting his female characters be good at anything other than being pretty.

I fucking hate these old dudes.

So Jiraiya just ditched Naruto and Tsunade to go on recon and didn't even stay in contact? What the fuck?

Pretty sure Kishimoto just needed him out of the way, because if he was there then he would have solved most problems super easily and Naruto wouldn't have had enough chances to act like a fucking moron.

The fact that Kakashi and Tsunade are encouraging Naruto's obsession with Sasuke is honestly disgusting.

Fuck you, Kishimoto. Just fuck you, you piece of garbage. Why do you hate women that much? You didn't just beat Yugito, you had to fucking disrespect her like that too!? And if you wanted her to lose, then you shouldn't have made her so badass in the first place. Fuck you, you were so damn lazy that you couldn't even give an explanation for how she was beat either!? For fucks' sake Kishimoto, just fuck off. I'm sick of your shit.

If this series wasn't anything other than garbage than Yugito would have fucking demolished Kakuzu and Hidan.

I hate how the Akatsuki can barely stand each other. Making the villains hate each other is a cheap way of dehumanising them.

You'd think Naruto would be more buff after three years of training with Jiraiya.

So is every Akatsuki pair just gonna be two douchebags who do nothing but argue about minor ideological differences?

This monk is dope as hell! Can he be the main character?

For fuck's sake, now we have to deal with these douchebags beating another person who should fucking wreck them.

And of course, we're not gonna get an explanation for how they win again. Because Kishimoto is lazy and has no respect for his story, characters, or audience. And apparently no one told him about the whole "show, don't tell" rule.

Am I honestly supposed to believe that Naruto "there-are-no-shortcuts-on-the-road-to-Hokage" Uzumaki is asking Kakashi to give him another trick to speed up his training? Somewhere along the path, Kishimoto entirely forgot who the fuck and what the fuck he was writing.

How the hell are we back to Naruto wanting to catch up with Sasuke? Wasn't like the entirety of Part 1 devoted entirely to that? And maybe you would be in the same league as Sasuke if you actually fucking did something in the past three years, Naruto.

Yamato is me right before exams.

I fucking love Sai.

So why are Sakura and Sai just sitting around marveling at Naruto instead of training themselves? I mean seriously, Kakashi, Yamato, you guys know they are also members of Team 7 right?

Sakura, why are you being passive aggressive towards your fucking elementary school teacher? If there's a teacher you should be pissed at, it's Kakashi.

Tsunade's plan seems clumsy as hell.

Aren't Ino-Shika-Cho supposed to be one of the closest teams? Why the hell are Asuma and Shikamaru going out with Izumo and Kotetsu instead of Choji and Ino? Does Kishimoto really not give a fuck about them at all? Don't answer that, I already know.

Like I heard about how people got pissed that Kishi pushed aside Ino and Choji to focus on Shikamaru but this is something else, man.

Is Sakura's character ever going to not revolve around another man?

Naruto, not bothering to rest is the dumbest fucking thing you could do. You know what Sasuke was doing when you guys found him? He was asleep. RESTING! Then he whooped your asses. The key to success is rest.

I thought his signature jutsu was the Shadow Clone Jutsu and the Rasengan.

Why do I feel like I missed a bunch of shit in the filler arc before this?

Like, I don't know who this monk dude was, but I'm gonna assume him and Asuma were boyfriends.

That bounty comment is kinda fucked up, Asuma.

How long is this ramen bullshit gonna go on for?

I literally could not give fewer fucks about Hidan and Kakuzu.

The reason I actually liked Kisame and Itachi is because they actually got along, especially in comparison to Orochimaru and his cronies. But fuck, the rest of the Akatsuki are just a bunch of assholes.

How is a change in chakra nature supposed to make the Rasengan stronger? The Chidori is both a change in form and nature but the Rasengan was more powerful (at least in Part 1 before all of Kishimoto's shitty retcons).

So from what I heard about Team Minato, I still think it's bull that Kakashi even knows the Rasengan. I think it would have made more sense if Obito, the obvious Naruto parallel, was able to learn the Rasengan through hard work but Kakashi the apathetic genius couldn't get it as easily as he got everything else, so instead he created the Chidori, something he could get easier. But to be fair, knowing the Chidori and the Rasengan and wielding the Sharingan helps with the whole image of being likely the most versatile ninja in the world, especially since Kakashi really hasn't been living up to his hype.

Are you really going to teach Naruto to create a new Rasengan before he's even mastered the normal fucking version?

I don't really get how a Rasengan with a change in chakra nature is considered unachievable? I mean, that's basically the Chidori.

I'm calling bullshit, Kakashi. You don't actually think that Naruto could surpass the fourth Hokage. If you did, you wouldn't having fucking ignored him for all of Part 1 and then just let him be taken out of the village. The only one of your students you believed in was Sasuke.

Naruto used to be the guy that nobody believed in. The kid that had to do everything on his own because nobody around him thought he was worth helping. Everyone thought he was a hopeless case. And i'm not saying that we still need that. But now we can't even have a single arc pass without like three or four people fucking raving about how much they believe in Naruto. It's like, for fuck's sake Kishi, how could you go so far from the heart of your series? How could you stray so far in the opposite direction from what was working?

You don't actually think you're going to fight the Akatsuki do you, Ino? Kishimoto is just gonna make you get your ass handed to you and then have one of his faves swoop down to save the day.

Choji is a really good friend.

For fuck's sake, Kishi. You couldn't even let Choji use his own fucking words? You just had to have it be about how kewl Shikamaru is. Ugh.

They were fucking, Shikamaru. Their relationship was obviously romantic.

Kakuzu, I really don't think you're allowed to just carry corpses into public bathrooms like that.

If the Akatsuki are known as international terrorists, then how the hell are they able to just go around wherever they want in their very distinctive robes without anyone giving a damn?

When did the Akatsuki become such fucking gimmicks?

Still pisses me off that we have Izumo and Kotetsu here instead of Ino and Choji.

Asuma seems to be overreacting to Hidan and Kakuzu. They've barely even engaged and Asuma's already making them out to be invincible.

I don't understand why Kishimoto is having such difficulty making Hidan and Kakuzu actually seem threatening. He refused to let us see how they beat Yugito, he refused to let us see how they beat the monk, and now Asuma is fearful of them for no reason. Kishi really forgot about the whole "show, don't tell" rule.

I see Kishimoto hasn't fixed Shikamaru's problem of sitting still for an extended period of time to think of shitty strategies while his opponent just fucking stands around doing nothing but watching him for no goddamn reason.

I get that all these shogi metaphors are supposed to make Shikamaru look smart, but they just sound like nonsense. It really just makes Shikamaru seem delusional. The battlefield is not a shogi set and your comrades aren't pieces. If you can't understand the situation without an elaborate metaphor about a board game, then you are a ridiculously limited strategist.

These monk techniques are fucking dope.

Immortal jerk is the only insult you could come up with, Shikamaru?

Asuma's Burning Ash jutsu doesn't make any sense but I'll let it slide.

The new OP shows a bunch of the Konoha 12 but its all lies. Kishi doesn't even remember that they exist.

Hidan went all hammy insane villain. How shocking. I've never seen that before. What a unique character.

I want to die.

I can't take Hidan seriously because he sounds like Billy Crystal.

I want you to imagine every scene with Hidan in it, but replace him with Mike Wazowski.

So Shikamaru was only able to save him because Hidan spent too much time screaming useless bullshit?

Yeah, guys. Shikamaru is such a badass. Such a genius. Incredibly intelligent ninja. Doesn't rely on luck or ridiculously stupid villains at all.

I fucking hate you, Shikamaru.

Thanks for reminding me about Sasori dying, Shikamaru. Still fucking angry over that.

Why would Shikamaru even doubt that Deidara is dead? Is Shikamaru's so-called intelligence ever going to make any sense or at least not be bullshit?

These fucking shogi metaphors are just getting goddamn annoying.

Look if you need to fucking stop time for 10 fucking minutes just to have your character analyse the situation then they're not a very smart character. And it's bad pacing and you're wasting time.

Your character is also not impressive if you need to make one of their opponents stand watching with their thumb up their ass instead of actually doing something for no goddamn reason just so they stand a chance.

So are Izumo and Kotetsu going to fucking do anything?

So how many more people are we gonna have to listen to kiss Shikamaru's ass?

Actually, there's really only one person kissing his ass. And its Kishimoto, who will never miss a chance to insert himself into the story in order to yell at the audience "LOOK AT SHIKAMARU, ISN'T HE SO COOL!?"

I swear, Kakuzu and Hidan are such fucking idiots.

Stitching Hidan's neck back together isn't going to change the fact that his inner organs have been sliced open.

So that super well-animated fight in the OP isn't going to actually happen? It was just for the OP? Man, fuck that.

The only person we've seen use crows is Itachi, so why is he attacking one of his own? Well, besides the bullshit plot twist I know is coming.

So who's this dude with the glasses and how's he going all Aquaman with the crows?

Jfc this taijutsu is horrible, it's only ever worth a damn either in OPs or in the ultimate climactic fights that the studios are saving up all their money for. But even so, this taijutsu is fucking trash to look at. Same with the Team Gai clone fights.

Holy shit, its Pain.

Not the voice I was expecting for Pain.

Where is he though? That is some fucking scenery.

I know I've already said this, but I really hate how the Akatsuki just turned into a bunch of douchebags just waiting to kill each other for no goddamn reason.

Is Shikamaru really trying to make Ino and Choji be quiet and listen to Asuma right  after he fucking yelled at Asuma to shut up?

Did Asuma just take his last fucking moments to fatshame Choji?

Man, Asuma really is a fucking dick.

Asuma, shut the fuck up. Shikamaru would be the shittiest fucking Hokage possible.

Man, Asuma. You sure are taking a long time to fucking die.

Asuma, are you going to spend all your damn time fatshaming Choji? It's not like his weight is holding him back as a ninja, in fact it's his strength. Maybe he'd be the super strong shinobi you wanted him to be if you spent some actual time training him instead of fatshaming him and playing fucking board games with Shikamaru.

Thanks for reminding me about how Shikamaru was promoted to chunin first. Still fucking pissed about that.

Is it bad that I felt literally nothing during Asuma's death?

Still think it's fucking stupid that Naruto still needs shadow clones just to make a normal Rasengan.

So in theory, Naruto could make several shadow clones and then then have all of them go through his Nine-Tails Transformation? Dude, no one could stand against him if someone just trained him to control the Nine-Tails' power.

Still think this shadow clone cheat is fucking bullshit.

It fucking sucks that Kishimoto thought making Sakura more violent was somehow actual development. She used to be one of the more intelligent, calm, and rational members of the team. Now she just threatens to beat anyone who disagrees with her.

Pain has been monologuing for so long that he's lost my attention. I know that he's explaining his intentions but it's dragging on for so damn long that I don't even care anymore.

Nevermind, it all just amounts to world domination anyways. So not much to even care about.

So the Wind Style: Rasengan is just a Rasengan with air pressure? How exactly is this superior to the Giant Rasengan? Or superior to making Naruto's training over the timeskip not shitty?

What's with this stylistic change in the Kurenai scene? Felt like I stepped into a psychological thriller.

I feel like we've seen Konohamaru cry at too many funerals. Can someone just give this kid a break?

Why does this lady have an irish accent?

"I'll be here for you" he says as he walks away from his own son while he's crying in agony.

Man, Shikamaru is a dick, Shikaku is a dick. Is there a Nara that isn't a dick?

Why are these fucking shots of Shikamaru's face and hands better animated than the fight Asuma died in?

Okay, I know I've said this before, but using shogi as a device designed to represent Shikamaru's intelligence is ridiculous.

Also why does it feel like the animation and art style have changed?

So why is it okay for Shikamaru to define the meaning of his life by vengeance but everyone gives Sasuke shit for wanting revenge against Itachi?

How the fuck did Kakashi and Tsunade just know to be at that specific place at that specific time? Wouldn't it have made more sense if Tsunade had brought Kakashi along in case they refused to back down? Its just stupidly convenient that the both of them just happened to know that Team 10 would be there at that specific time.

And why the fuck is Kakashi willing to go on this mission!? He tied Sasuke down to a fucking tree just to give him a speech on the futility of revenge, but he's perfectly willing to let Shikamaru go after revenge, even willing to help him? That's fucking bullshit. And yet another instance of Kishi going out of his way to make things go well for Shikamaru, even when all sense would point to everything going wrong for him.

And why not just bring Naruto instead of Kakashi? It's been established that Naruto is closer to Shikamaru than he is to others and he just mastered a new powerful jutsu. Plus you don't have to mess up his character to bring him along the way you have to with Kakashi.

Better yet, why didn't Kishimoto choose Kurenai instead of Kakashi? (the answer to this question is: sexism) At least then it would make sense for her to want revenge. Plus Naruto could continue training with Kakashi and maybe Team 8 could come in as back-up instead of Team 7. Give them some fucking focus.

Also, once again, Tsunade's characterisation has fucking sucked in Part 2. She used to be a very enjoyable character, now she's just an asshole who runs around shouting at people, letting everyone do whatever the fuck they want, and going on about how she believes in Naruto. I'm also sick of how everyone disrespects her, nobody acted this way towards Sarutobi.

Man, Kakuzu fucking dragged Hidan in front of the entire Akatsuki.

Tbh, Hidan is a fucking joke.

Wait, Ino is a skinchanger!? So dope!

That thing with Kakuzu and the bird was dumb in so many ways.

Jesus christ, did Kakuzu and Hidan really fall for that shitty fucking trap.

Shikamaru's new jutsu didn't even make sense. Not to mention that it came out of nowhere with literally no forshadowing.

I can't believe that Kishi is making Kakuzu fucking go on about Shikamaru being a good tactician when that was literally the flimsiest fucking plan possible.

They are really gonna drag out the process of Hidan mirroring Shikamaru's movements, aren't they?

So is Kakuzu a human puppet too like Sasori?

So Choji can harden his hair now? Since when could he harden his body at all?

I don't like how apparently every element is weak or strong against another particular element. It should be about the skill of the ninja, not about whatever fucking element they have. Plus, it just feels like it was shoehorned in right at the end.

To think that for a second I thought we were done with Kakuzu. I got my hopes up, thinking we were almost done with these fools' bullshit but nope. Kishi loves to torture me.

Kakuzu's special attack: getting uglier than usual.

Did Kakuzu just summon a bunch of No Faces?

Or were they hollows?

How the hell is your mask still on after that wind attack, Kakashi!?

Kakuzu named his giant fire attack after a headache?

Did Hidan just scream out "Heeyaah!"?

I feel like the animation has suddenly gotten so much better.

Or maybe not better, just... more fluid?

FUCK YOU, SHIKAMARU! I WAS SO READY TO SEE CHOJI WHOOP HIDAN'S ASS!

So are Choji and Ino gonna be able to do anything?

Oh yay, Kishi ruined Choji's character.

Why are you like this, Kishimoto?

So did Choji just conveniently forget to bring his clan's food pills?

Hidan and Kakuzu suddenly went from zero to badass in like a millisecond.

How did Shikamaru even catch Hidan in that Shadow Possession? Every other time he needed to make the hand signs just to keep the jutsu up.

So I guess of all the Akatsuki we've seen so far, Kakuzu seems to be the strongest. Though it still feels like a bunch of bullshit pulled out right at the end.

And Hidan seems to be the weakest, outside of Zetsu and Tobi who we haven't seen in action yet.

Well this new animation style is much more appealing, only problem is a lack of facial consistency.

So Kakashi has mastered earth style, lightning style, and water style?

When the fuck did Shikamaru become the protagonist of this series?

Seeing Hidan so chill is honestly unsettling me. He looks like me after I've failed an exam. Motherfucker just looks dead inside.

I don't get it. Was Hidan's jutsu connected to Shikamaru or Kakuzu? And if it was connected to Shikamaru, why isn't he finally fucking dead!?

So if it was Kakuzu connected to the jutsu, then what was that bullshit with Shikamaru about "not being deep enough"?

This may be the only time Shikamaru has actually been smart, although I still hate the whole masterplan-that-we-had-no-idea-about-being-revealed-at-the-end trope. It occasionally works with villains, but not with heroes. The protagonists shouldn't be misleading their own audience and in most cases it just feels like an asspull.

Also, even if the concept of Shikamaru's plan was smart, the whole thing would have fallen apart if Kakashi hadn't coincidently, conveniently, and nonsensically been in the right place at the right time and agreed to go with them (I still don't fucking understand why he went with them). Their whole plan would have been fucked if Kakashi hadn't been there, which shows bad planning and a lack of foresight on Shikamaru's part.

There will never be anything in existence as bullshit as Shikamaru splashing Kakuzu's blood onto Hidan's fucking needle of a blade as he's about to fucking stab him. Except maybe the fact that Hidan apparently didn't fucking notice it despite the fact that Shikamaru did it right in front of him. Like, he didn't even try to hide it.

Ugh, Kishi, if you want me to believe that Shikamaru is a genius then stop pitting him against fucking morons.

Did Kakashi just judge Kakuzu for killing without remorse when Kakashi is a fucking ninja?

AGAIN! WHY THE HELL IS KAKASHI OKAY WITH SHIKAMARU TRYING TO GET REVENGE!? He's not just fine with it, he's supporting and enabling it! It's completely out of character. After all that bullshit with Sasuke and the futility of revenge, he's just gonna do all the work so Shikamaru can get his revenge? Why?

Because Shikamaru is Kishi's self-insert, that's why. Fucking hate this character.

Why is Kakuzu even dead? Shouldn't he have three more hearts?

Why the fuck didn't we get to see Choji use that Expansion Jutsu: Super Slam on Hidan!?

Oh ffs, why is Kishi so insistent on not letting Choji and Ino do anything at all

im just so sick of this

Well, Kakuzu's back. When will I be free from this bullshit!?

I'm not complaining but why do all the Akatsuki members paint their nails

Hidan's laugh is depressing.

Did you really need to name each of them, Ino? As if everyone can't see them. And why the fuck did you leave out Yamato?

Sakura, we both know the smartest person in the Land of Fire is named Shino Aburame.

Of course Kishi had to insert a fucking flashback just to kiss Shikamaru's ass.

Apparently Will of Fire means being a lazy ass now.

How inobservant can Hidan be.

How many asspulls is Shikamaru gonna get?

And Asuma's ghost just randomly fucking appears? Yeah, that makes sense.

Why does Naruto have the slitted pupils but still has blue irises?

Ugh, it seems like Naruto has adopted Shikamaru's style of combat. Do almost nothing while your enemy just fucking watches.

Ffs, just let Choji do something!

How the hell does Wind Style: Rasenshuriken befit the Nine-Tailed Fox, Kakuzu?

When I heard about the Rasenshuriken, I imagined Naruto changing the shape of the Rasengan, making it thinner but wider and spinning at speeds high enough to slash through things. I imagined it being his own unique creation, a long-range Rasengan that could be thrown. Which would allow him to cover his bases and make up for his weakness when at long distance. But nope, it's just the Rasengan but bigger. Which is redundant considering he already has the Giant Rasengan.

And of course, Naruto fucked up again. Can you do anything right?

Didn't Kakashi say he's already used the Chidori four times that day? Isn't that his limit? Shouldn't he be fucking dead!?

Even Choji notes that the Rasenshuriken is fucking stupid.

Seriously, what's up with Naruto's eyes?

Ffs, Naruto you can barely do anything at all but you're talking about surpassing the Fourth Hokage? Man, fuck off.

And once again, Naruto is putting his pride before the mission. And somehow this is supposed to be endearing. And for some stupid fucking reason, everyone's okay with it. And for some even fucking dumber reason, Kakuzu hasn't killed them all yet.

Why do these deer look like demons?

He isn't that good, Sai. The author just loves the taste of his ass.

I'd say that I hope Hidan gets out and destroys the whole village one day, but let's be honest, Hidan is such a dumbass he wouldn't be able to get anything done even if he did get out.

A long preparation time is supposed to be a disadvantage to an attack, usually added only to extremely powerful attacks. But in this dumbass series, that doesn't matter because your opponents will always just fucking sit there and watch you do your stupid fucking preparations instead of actually fighting you.

I think the animation went back to its old style.

If Kakuzu is so focused on Naruto, why doesn't Ino just take the opportunity and use her Mind Transfer Jutsu to take control over him? This whole thing could have been fucking solved 10 episodes ago if Kishi gave a damn about his side characters.

God, the Rasenshuriken is fucking ridiculous.

Is it just me or has Kakashi gotten hotter?

Naruto hasn't surpassed you in the fucking least, Kakashi.

This is the fucking fifth time Kakashi has used the Chidori today! How is he not fucking dead!?

Man, Kakashi can be a real savage when it comes to trash talk.

Why the fuck are we seeing Shikamaru interact with Kurenai but not with her own fucking team?

ugh why do i ask questions i already know the answer to

did shikamaru just like.. lay claim on Kurenai's baby? he didnt even fucking ask her or anything

jesus christ even the pieces are the same. just call the fucking game chess

i feel like shikamaru has gotten even more arrogant than he was before

so naruto's body can regenerate the incinerated flesh after entering the four-tailed form but he can't take some extra chakra and wind pressure? that makes a lot of fucking sense

....

i just wanna die

so apparently the rasenshuriken is basically the eight trigrams sixty four palms ghdvuybfdjgfjwkjfdjJUST FUCKING KILL ME

it doesnt even make sense!

thats not how fucking wind works!

and when the hell has naruto ever been precise!?

and why can't he just heal!?

why am i still watching this trash series?

who the fuck is this lady orochimaru wants and why should i even care

how the hell is the rasenshuriken gonna be a last resort when he can't fucking do anything else?

IM FINALLY FREE

IM DONE WITH THIS FUCKING ARC

I DONT HAVE TO KEEP WATCHING THIS FUCKING SERIES

IM FREE

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#Naruto #Naruto Shippuden #Barrimyr watches Naruto #Akatsuki Suppression Arc #im not even gonna bother tagging this #im fucking numb #notes