#and akus like “:(( but what if they leave again” and atsus like “but what if they stay?” and basically lists all the reasons why they'd sta | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maislovebot · 4 months

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I love you in the worst way

Atsushi x reader x Akutagawa 3some

My motivation is finally back in full swing!! Please feel free to leave a request or two:3 This is my first time writing a threesome, please be gentle with me:’)

Contains: afab reader, they/them prns, slight sskk towards the end, no use of y/n, slight angst, implied hurt comfort, threesome, foreplay, spit roasting/dp, missionary, oral (everyone receiving), reader gets eaten out TWICE!! How spoiled, Atsu eats it from the back to eat Aku’s cum out of you, oral fixation, established relationship (Atsu & reader), Akutagawa has a crush on reader, jealousy, competitive Atsu & Aku, unprotected, multiple orgasms, overstim, like really, the reader has to stop because it’s too much, squirting, premature ejaculation, hair pulling, creampie, breeding kink if you squint, throat-fucking, aftercare, open ending

You and Atsushi are in a very dedicated relationship. Atsushi can’t imagine what his life would be like without you, and his self doubt would typically stop him from doing anything like this ever, but, something about this offer was too alluring.

You and Atsushi had a very fulfilling sex life, he was always so attentive and sweet. He was always touching you in a way he knew you liked, oftentimes putting your pleasure before his. But this was certainly new. Never would Atsushi have guessed you would have a threesome, with Akutagawa no less. At the beginning of your relationship, you and Atsushi both made it clear that threesomes were fine as occasional ways to spice things up, but you two hadn’t gotten around to doing it yet. He especially didn’t expect it to be with Akutagawa of all people. In all honesty, he wasn’t even sure how he got here. But however it happened, it was shockingly nice.

Sure, Atsushi was feeling a little insecure, but it was strangely attractive watching you get fucked by someone else, and he could tell how enjoyable this was for the both of you. You seemed to enjoy the change of pace, so he was willing to set himself aside.

Akutagawa was currently between your thighs, eating you out with absolutely zero shame. He gripped your hips to pull you closer to his mouth, pumping his delicate fingers to prep you. Your head lay on Atsushi’s lap as he looked right into your eyes to help calm your nerves. It was obvious that you were a little nervous, and Akutagawa can tell too based off of the way you subconsciously shut your thighs, trying to shut him out.

“Open your legs.” Akutagawa's attempt at dirty talk was honestly a little cute, considering how blunt it was.

You did as he asked, opening your legs enough for his head to fit nicely between them. He licked a stripe up your cunt, and glanced up at Atsushi again, reaching your hand up to play with his hair.

Akutagawa didn’t like that.

He’s the one pleasing you, right? Atsushi’s just giving the orders. Akutagawa dug his nails into your thighs to make you pay attention to him and Atsushi glared at him.

“Don’t do that. You’re lucky I’m even letting you in our bed.”

Akutagawa rolled his eyes, but loosened his grip on you. Akutagawa prodded his tongue at your entrance, past your tight walls, using his fingers to thumb at your clit instead. You whimpered at his actions, gripping his hair. Akutagawa liked how you grabbed his hair. He moaned into your cunt, and as a form of support, you lifted your hand up to hold Atsushi’s. Akutagawa still had a firm enough grip to hold you against his face, his head spreading your thighs further as he forced his tongue as deep as it could go. You whimpered again, wrapping your thighs around Akutagawa's head. You could feel yourself getting closer, and you held Atsushi’s hand tighter to stabilize yourself. Again, Akutagawa didn’t like that. He lifted his hand up, grabbing yours as it lay atop his head.

“If you wanna grab something, grab my hair. Don’t hold him.”

You didn’t wanna make Atsushi jealous, but you also didn’t want to feel the wrath of Akutagawa when he’s upset, already dealing with that enough when Atsushi complains to you about Akutagawa after work. You settled for both, holding Atsushi’s hand tight and pulling on Akutagawa's hair, forcing him closer to your dripping pussy.

When Akutagawa pushed his tongue as deep as it could go, you saw stars. He was different from Atsushi, as he was much less gentle. Even when Atsushi got pussy-drunk, he was still attentive. If anything, he became more focused on you. Akutagawa was mean with it, pinching your clit in a way that made you cry out.

“A-Akutagawa, please!”

Akutagawa moved his teeth to nibble on your clit, defying you completely. The stimulation was enough to drive you over the edge, and you came, your cum dripping onto the bed.

“Akutagawa. Don’t hurt them.”

Akutagawa sighed, pulling himself away from your cunt.

“They liked it. What’s the deal?”

“It’s just..I hate seeing them..like that.”

They both looked at you, expecting an answer, but you were still recovering from your orgasm, breathing heavily as the grip on Atsushi’s hand loosened as the tension in your body slowly got relieved. They both sat there, allowing you to calm down from your high. Once you did, you completely disregarded all their questions, clearly not looking forward to giving an answer.

“I need you both..I agree with the both of you. I like how Atsushi treats me so nice, even when he’s being rough with me, but I also like how mean Akutagawa is.”

They both sat in silence, agreeing to go with what you said.

“Understood. But refer to me as Ryunosuke. We’re having sex, I think we’re close enough to go by my first name.” Akutagawa said, going over to you to brush some hair out of your face from your disheveled form.

“Alright..Ryu.”

‘Ryu?’ Atsushi thought. You always call him Atsu. He wasn’t fond of the nickname, especially how similar it was to his. Nevertheless, he bit his tongue to make you happy.

Akutagawa, on the other hand, may have not shown much emotion besides slight confusion from the new nickname, but inside he was ecstatic. It was almost like you two were together.

Atsushi lifted you up, getting you on all fours.

“You wanted both of us, right? Is this what you meant?” You understood his implication, turning away from the embarrassment, but still nodding.

Wordlessly, Akutagawa went behind you. Atsushi wasn’t fond of the fact Akutagawa wanted to take you first, but he bit his tongue again. His patience was running thin, but he could tell you were enjoying it, so he decided to push his feelings down and look at the bright side. At least he’d be the first to feel your mouth around him, and this knowledge made Atsushi smile. He sat up and began to sit in front of your face, leaning forward to kiss you before pulling away and looking at Akutagawa.

“You’re lucky we have no protection on us, but you better pull out.” Atsushi warned.

Akutagawa nodded half heartedly, slowly aligning himself with your entrance. Luckily, it wasn’t hard to adjust to Akutagawa because of his shockingly similar size to Atsushi, who you’d grown accustomed to.

Atsushi still looked hesitant, worrying that taking him and Akutagawa may be too much. You, on the other hand, pushed your face forward to take Atsushi. He felt weak in the knees at your pleading face, so needy. He got the message, and he moaned when your lips closed in around his tip. Akutagawa noticed Atsushi was inside of you, and quickly pushed in the rest of the way to make you focus on him, and Atsushi glared, giving Akutagawa a ‘be nice’ look.

Akutagawa got the message, but chose to ignore it. He pulled out to the tip, then slammed back inside of you, making you moan around Atsushi’s cock, and the vibrations made Atsushi buck his hips into your mouth. Atsushi was trying to be nice, but you were so addicting. You started with kitten licks to Atsushi’s cock, and Akutagawa gripped your hair, rather gently all things considered. He leaned over you to kiss your neck and left small licks to it.

You groaned at Akutagawa’s actions, taking more of Atsushi in your mouth. Atsushi froze, pleasure overtaking him as you hollow your cheeks, giving Atsushi more stimulation. Atsushi whimpered with a high pitched sound, bucking his hips further into your mouth, making you take him deeper. You let out a choked sound and Atsushi almost pulled away, until you gripped on his thigh, giving him a pleading look. Atsushi understood, whimpering as you licked along the underside of his cock, before you were quickly brought back to Akutagawa as he smacked your thigh.

“Why won’t you pay attention to me? It’s like you’re not even feeling me.”

“I am..I just want to make sure Atsu has a good time, too.”

Akutagawa glared at him. This would’ve been so much better if he could’ve had you all to himself. It’s such a shame Atsushi got to you before he could.

Akutagawa sped up his movements, making sure you were paying close attention to him. He couldn’t go crazy fast because of his bad health, but he went so hard you could feel every movement inside of you. You let out a muffled whine, your mouth closing in on Atsushi more. Akutagawa lifted his hand up to your clit, and you could almost cry. It was so much. He kept thrusting into you, keeping a grip on your hair. It wasn’t strong enough to hurt, but it was surely giving you a message, the message being: ‘don’t you dare look at that weretiger when I’m right here.’

Akutagawa rubbed circles on your clit, the pressure made your knees buckle and lose your balance. Luckily, Atsushi was there to catch you to the best of his abilities considering his angle.

“Mnn, Ryu–feels good,” you babbled out.

Akutagawa could feel himself nearing his edge at your praise, and it embarrassed him how much your enjoyment meant to him. It was strange how much he cared about your happiness, as he only really associates servitude with Dazai. He wanted to please Dazai no matter the cost, even though it dragged him down an absurd amount. He knew the way Dazai treated him was hurting him, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to stop pining after Dazai’s approval. And despite all this, you were able to bring out a different kind of search for approval. It wasn’t like with Dazai how he wanted to prove himself purely so he could sleep at night, and because he felt like he had to try and prove himself whenever he could. He wanted to help you purely because he cared about you and it made him feel good, and the feeling was addicting. He just wanted more, more, more. All he wanted was to make you happy, to please you, to make you cum, hold you close, and–

Before he had even realized it he had started crying. He was still thrusting inside of you, but his vision was bubbly with tears and he couldn’t tell why; he wasn’t the most in tune with his emotions after all.

Luckily, after all those years of torment, he had learnt to cry completely silently, as God knows what would happen to him if Dazai caught him crying. The only person who could see Akutagawa’s face was Atsushi, and he was preoccupied with your mouth.

“I’m c-close,” Akutagawa mumbled. It was expected for him to cum much faster than you two considering his health and his lack of experience, and he expected you to judge him for it, but all you did was nod and pick up the pace with Atsushi. Atsushi was also rather sensitive, and he cried out when you started to suction on his cock even more than before. So warm, so welcoming. Akutagawa came, unable to pull out due to his hypersensitivity. Atsushi followed quickly after. Atsushi pulled out to cum into his hand, as even after all the time you two have had sex, he’d always be too embarrassed to cum on your face or in your mouth.

“So good, both of you, you–”

“Hey, you didn’t cum. I think Akutagawa should keep going.”

How the hell could Atsushi tell? He wasn’t even the one fucking you.

It made Akutagawa jealous. Why was Atsushi allowed to know so much about you, but he wasn’t? They both had similar backgrounds, so why choose him? Why not me? Akutagawa thought. It upset Akutagawa to know that Atsushi knew you better than he ever will.

Nonetheless, Akutagawa followed Atsushi’s orders, not wanting to leave you without orgasm. He moved his hand up, teasing at your hole and rubbing his thumb over your clit.

“Why couldn’t I get you to come?”

“It’s not something you did, don’t blame yourself. Just prove you can make me cum now.”

Your understanding nature never failed to make Akutagawa weak in the knees. It was so simple, you were just kind to him. You didn’t expect the world out of him, and it drove him crazy.

He pushed a finger inside of your cunt, curling it up towards your g-spot as his thumb rubbed circles on your clit. Atsushi watched, and as jealous as he was, he couldn’t deny how hot it was to watch you whimper and whine and arch your back from a different point of view. It was so hot and he couldn’t even tell why.

You arched your back more as Akutagawa added in a second finger, thrusting in and out, in and out. He had slowed down his actions significantly, and it didn’t take long for you to come on his fingers. As you came you let out a loud moan and you curled your fingers into the bedsheets, lifting your ass higher in the air.

You panted gently, and Atsushi pet your hair to calm you down. That was until he had processed what really happened. Akutagawa had actually come inside of you. You didn’t seem to mind all that much, but it made Atsushi incredibly jealous. He wordlessly stood up, walking behind you and pushing Akutagawa out of the way. He saw Akutagawa’s cum dripping out of you, and immediately licked it up from your filled cunt, making you spasm and lose balance on the bed. Akutagawa wordlessly stood there, staring at the erotic sight before him. Something about seeing Atsushi lick up his cum was so. hot.

“A-Atsu! Sensitive!”

“I know, if it’s too much just tell me.”

You whined and nodded, your face pushing into the bed as you tried to balance yourself. Atsushi feverishly sucked at your folds, licking all of Akutagawa’s cum from your cunt. Once it was all cleaned up, he thrusted his tongue inside of your twitching hole, attempting to force Akutagawa’s cum out of you.

Akutagawa stood there, staring at your cunt and Atsushi’s mouth. He was practically drooling at the sight, your arms trembling and trying to hold yourself up as you teared up, loud moans and whines leaving your lips. Atsushi thrusted his tongue inside of you, trying to get as much of Akutagawa’s cum out of you as he could. It was so overstimulating, all you could do was sit there and focus on keeping enough strength in your legs to not topple over. The sheer overstimulation was almost too much to handle.

Considering how you had just cum, it didn’t take long to get there again. You tightened on Atsushi’s tongue, pushing his tongue outside of you, forcing him to fuck his tongue deeper inside of you. You came with a loud whimper and a tighter grip on the sheets, and Atsushi left a kiss on your lower back as he pulled away from you.

“I think it’s mostly gone now. Don’t you dare do that again.” Atsushi said, his mannerisms much more sly than what was typical for him. He glanced over at Akutagawa, almost rolling his eyes at how hard he was again.

“Let’s switch things up, alright Akutagawa? Unless you’re too tired..”

You almost chuckled at how petty Atsushi was acting, it was so strange coming from him.

“Atsu? Are you jealous?”

Atsushi stiffened, his grip on your thighs tightening.

“Maybe, although I don’t think Akutagawa is all that different.”

Atsushi looked at Akutagawa expectantly, and he simply shrugged.

“Perhaps.”

By this point, Atsushi was teasing his tip towards your entrance. Akutagawa was sitting in front of you, staring at the way your back arched.

You gripped Akutagawa’s thigh, gently urging him to come closer to you for easier access. He was curious as to how you gave head, and based on Atsushi’s reactions, he knew it’d be more than pleasant. Not to mention it was you giving him head. He honestly thought you could do anything and he’d be satisfied.

Akutagawa rested a hand in your hair, pulling your head up to the head of his cock.

“Ryu?”

You called him ‘Ryu’ again. Atsushi felt another pang of jealousy, and as gentle as he wanted to be with you, considering how you were so overstimulated your legs were barely holding you up, but he couldn’t help but push into you the rest of the way in one thrust to bring your attention back to him. You yelped, letting go of Akutagawa’s thigh and instead whimpering and shutting your eyes tight.

“Sorry, Ryu. Here..”

You turned your head up, gently gripping Akutagawa’s cock and licking at his tip, jerking off the rest of his cock.

Now, Atsushi wasn’t a particularly jealous person; he was more insecure and vaguely possessive than anything, but seeing you trying your hardest to focus on Akutagawa instead of him, your boyfriend, he couldn’t help it. Atsushi pulled out to the tip and left one quick thrust in, making you let out a choked cry. It worked. You were still trying to pay attention to Akutagawa, but it was hard with how Atsushi was pounding into you like there was no tomorrow and running circles on your clit. It hurt so good.

Atsushi decided to do what Akutagawa had done earlier, pinching your clit. Akutagawa certainly wasn’t going slow either, gripping your hair and forcing you back and forth on his cock, and in all honesty, you weren’t doing much work at all. You mainly just rocked back and forth from Atsushi and Akutagawa’s out of sync thrusts.

Akutagawa was already close to cumming, and he was a little embarrassed. Curse his bad health. You knew he was close because he kept twitching inside of your mouth, and you gently scratched Akutagawa’s thighs in need of air. You were so tired and you felt used up, but regardless, you stuck it out in hopes of pleasing the both of them.

Akutagawa quickly came down your throat, and he tasted shockingly pleasant. You still thought Atsushi tasted better though. No one could quite beat the sweet taste of his cum.

Akutagawa stopped pulling your hair, slowly loosening his grip on it as he pulled out of your mouth. He felt so overstimulated, and he couldn’t even imagine how you must’ve felt. As far as he knew, you’d come three times already.

Atsushi wasn’t quite there yet, and although you were teetering on the edge, you knew it’d take at least a few minutes to build up that final sensation.

As a form of comfort, Akutagawa lifted your head again and left a kiss to the top of your head, running his fingers through your disheveled hair. He twirled what he could around his finger, admiring the look of if. The tender actions caught you off guard, and you melted into his touch as Atsushi kept going at it. You laid your head on Akutagawa’s lap as he played with your hair. It was a nice offset from Atsushi’s harsh treatment of your spent cunt.

Atsushi didn’t like that.

He was supposed to be the one to play with your hair and kiss the top of your head and comfort you through your absolute mind breaking orgasm, not him. Not Akutagawa.

Without warning, he switched your guys’ position around to where you two were facing each other in missionary. He kept thrusting into you mercilessly, rubbing your clit and kissing the sides of your face and licking along your neck, leaving small, delicate licks.

His general goal of switching your positions was to make you stop looking at Akutagawa, but he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t because he simply preferred it that way. He liked looking at your face. It reassured him. He especially loved looking at your eyes.

And by God, was it worth it. He spread you out on your back, and he was met with the sight of your back arching up into his abdomen, pressing up into his waist. Your eyes were shut tightly, your throat rubbed raw from the loud moans you kept letting out. He loved the way your moans heightened in pitch as you kept letting them leave your throat. You kept shaking your head back and forth as you gripped your bed sheets, your thighs tensing and relaxing in a strange, off balance rhythm.

You moved your hands up to Atsushi’s back, raking your fingers down his back, making Atsushi hiss. Akutagawa saw the way you left white and red lines down Atsushi’s back, and he couldn’t help but feel turned on from the sight. He would do anything to have you scratch his back the way you were doing to him. You felt yourself crashing over the edge, and you ended up squirting all over Atsushi’s abdomen from the sheer stimulation. Akutagawa was stunned. The sight was the most erotic thing he had ever seen, and he wasn’t even the one parking in it. He felt so jealous, it was driving him crazy. Why couldn’t he be the one to do that to you?

The sight of your chest heaving from your orgasm driving the both of them crazy. He kept thrusting into you, chasing his own orgasm like a rabid animal. You moaned loudly as he kept going, the entire sight was breathtaking, so much so that he had practically forgotten Akutagawa was even there. Nothing else mattered, just him and you.

That was until you gently pulled on Atsushi’s hair.

“Too much..Atsushi..!”

You were cut off by one of your own moans, and you quickly yelped out as Atsushi pinched your clit yet again.

“Atsushi! Too much!”

He stopped in his tracks, wordlessly removing his hand from your clit and letting go of your hair, pulling out of you slowly.

“G-God, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what got to me—” Atsushi kept rambling on, trying to get you to forgive him for taking it too far, when you weren’t even upset with him. He was begging for your forgiveness before you had even gotten a chance to breathe. You loved him for his worried nature, finding it rather endearing, but you were worried he thought you were genuinely upset with him over what was obviously a total accident.

“Atsu, it’s fine. Trust me. Just lay down next to me..”

Atsushi nodded, holding you close. That was when Atsushi suddenly remembered Akutagawa was there, you had remembered as well, but you were too tired to even look up to see him. When Atsushi glanced over at Akutagawa, he was met by a somewhat lonely, but also surprisingly proud look? Atsushi had realized Akutagawa was proud of the fact he wasn’t the one who went too far, the fact that Atsushi was the one who couldn’t hold himself back. Atsushi rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to you. You buried your face into Atsushi’s chest, waiting for the string of worried questions bound to come any moment.

“When did I go too far? What did I do that made it too much? …” by the time he made it to the third question you were zoning out, and you simply placed a finger over Atsushi’s lips. He shut up, with a mumbled “I promise I’ll make it up to you..” leaving his lips.

“Ryu? Come over here..” you whispered, and he wordlessly obeyed, sitting against the headboard and gazing at you as you turned over to your back so you could look at both of them. Atsushi laid up on the headboard as well, and he checked to see if you had any bruises anywhere on your upper body, rubbing and petting any spots that tensed up when he touched them. That’s when Akutagawa had noticed the two small red scars on Atsushi’s stomach, and he questioned what they were. They looked like burn marks, but he wasn’t going to bother to ask. Not in this mood. That’s when Atsushi looked up, and saw Akutagawa’s jealous bitter face. He looked at Akutagawa quizzically for a few moments, trying to read him, before inevitably giving up.

What was going through Akutagawa’s head consisted of: ‘why were you all over that Jinko even after he went too far? Why not me? I’d never do that to you. I’d never take it too far.’ Amongst many other similar things.

You two kept sitting there for a few moments, Atsushi gently massaging all the tense spots, before Akutagawa gained the confidence to move over and rub small, soothing circles into your hips. Atsushi momentarily glared at Akutagawa, before turning his attention back to you, leaning down and kissing the top of your head. You left a tender smile, and the both of them went crazy for that smile. That smile that they loved. Atsushi was so lucky to get to see that smile every day, Akutagawa thought.

Akutagawa wanted to go on a long rant about how he could treat you so much better, how he was clearly superior to that ‘damn weretiger’ in every way, but he refrained, instead choosing to volunteer to clean your bed sheets and get you a glass of water. You would’ve normally told Akutagawa that he’s the guest, and he shouldn’t have to do that, but you and Atsushi needed a moment alone. Akutagawa seemed to understand this, standing up and exiting the room in what seemed like haste. You and Atsushi laid there for a few moments, your head in his lap, similar to the beginning of the night.

“I’m so, so sorry I went too far..you were right, I was just jealous. You were paying so much more attention to Akutagawa for a minute there and..” you placed a finger over his lips again, turning yourself to face him.

“I only did that because he’s our guest, Atsushi. You’re my man, not him.”

“You even had a nickname for him though..! I know it’s dumb but that’s what really got me going.”

You chuckled, shaking your head.

“Do you know how long his first name is? I didn’t wanna have to say the whole thing every time I said his name. It was awkward.”

Atsushi’s lips opened up slightly in understanding, everything making a little more sense. He smiled slightly, feeling a little dumb at how he completely misread the situation.

You tried to lift yourself so you could straddle Atsushi, but your legs were still far too shaky so he helped you get on top of him. Once you were on top of him you tenderly kissed his neck and shoulders, eventually leading to the top of his head. Atsushi chuckled, leaning into your touch as you two laid there, basking in each other's presence.

After a few moments, you mumbled some form of apology. You were so quiet he couldn’t make out what you were saying.

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry that..” you started mumbling again.

“I can’t tell what you’re saying,” Atsushi chuckled, “what is it?”

“I’m sorry you didn’t get to cum.” You said, a little embarrassed if anything.

“Oh don’t worry about that, I still got to.”

“Not towards the end though. I sort of cut you off.”

Atsushi nestled his face in your hair, smiling into the crown of your head.

“Don’t worry about it.”

You nodded, a comfortable silence filling the room.

Little did you guys know that Akutagawa was standing outside your door and heard everything. He felt a pang in his heart from the indirect rejection, but he knew deep down that this was how it would go. You were so in love with him, he could never compare. He knew you loving him was a long shot, especially considering that it meant leaving Atsushi, who you were clearly happy with. He sat there for a few more moments, before wandering off to get you the water and clean the sheets like he promised. He silently entered the bedroom, with a glass of water and bedsheets in hand. You thanked Akutagawa for the glass of water, before drinking it so fast you broke into a small coughing fit and Atsushi giggled. Akutagawa would’ve as well, but his mind was currently occupied.

Atsushi brought up the conversation of a bath, and he picked you up when you nodded.

“You can join if you want, Akutagawa. It might be a tight fit, though.” Atsushi chuckled.

“No, I'll get in after. I don’t want to intrude.”

In reality, Akutagawa would’ve killed to join, but he had to sort his feelings out.

Atsushi nodded, looking skeptical. You buried your face in Atsushi’s chest, arms wrapping around his neck. You smiled into Atsushi’s chest at his tone, as it was obvious he was no longer jealous. It makes you happy as you tighten your grip on him. It was clear from Atsushi’s tone of voice that he wasn’t jealous anymore, if anything he seemed sufficiently more friendly with Akutagawa.

You and Atsushi exit the bath, feeling refreshed and certainly feeling cleaner. You sighed in contentment, capable of standing on your own now as you both exited the bath.

“There’s still hot water, if you wanna get in.

We tried to be fast, sorry.” You said, smiling at him. God, that smile.

Akutagawa nodded, heading towards the bathroom, the t-shirt he presumably put on while you were showering hiding his frame.

Atsushi laid you out on the bed, spooning you and holding you close.

Akutagawa’s shower was quick, as to be expected. Once he re-entered your bedroom, he looked over and saw you sleeping peacefully, and Atsushi looking at you with a small, content smile.

“Hey, Akutagawa. You can lay here with us if you want. It would be rude to just send you home.”

Atsushi leaned down and left a gentle kiss to the back of your head, awaiting an answer.

Akutagawa knew he shouldn’t. Sleeping in the same bed as you would only make him grow more attached to you, but the option was too tempting. He crawled into bed with you, trying his hardest to not wake you up and maneuver his way through the dark bedroom. He eventually managed, laying in front of you. He shamelessly wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight. He may not be able to be with you in the way he wants, but maybe he could settle for this. He just had to pray this wouldn’t be your last encounter.

Little did he know, Atsushi was going to have a very interesting conversation with you the following day, something about inviting Akutagawa into the relationship. Something about it was really nice, and he couldn’t quite describe what it was.

Wc - 5.1k

Currently resisting the urge to make a pt2 where y’all get together💔💔 yk in like a poly way..maybe I’ll write it eventually

248 notes · View notes

mochidrabbles · 5 years

Note

bring me the angst! bsd headcanons for atsu, aku, chuuya and dazai where their s/o slowly falls out of love

Atsushi:

○ It takes Atsushi a little while to realize what’s going on. At first he assumes you must be upset with him; he’s a fuck up, after all, so surely he did something wrong to upset you! At least, those are the sorts of thoughts running through his mind.

○ No matter what he seems to do, though, he can’t make it up to you. Dinners, gifts, massages, anything he can think of. He even goes to the rest of the ADA for advice on how to make things up to you, though he gets few suggestions and many sympathetic looks.

○ Finally he apologizes to you, nearly in tears as he begs you to forgive him. Things finally hit him when you’re so completely utterly confused about his apology. The more you assure him that he’s done nothing wrong the more his heart sinks.

○ Atsushi is in denial for a little while. He keeps insisting that he must have upset you somehow, that he can still make it better. Things improve little even when he does accept that you don’t love him anymore. He still blames himself for not doing enough, not being enough, to deserve to have you around.

○ Atsushi is perfectly happy, for far too long, to let you use him and to pretend everything is fine even when he knows it’s not. It’s up to you, in the end, to break things off because he’s too afraid of losing you.

Akutagawa:

○ Doesn’t see it coming. You’ve been together for so long Akutagawa took it for granted that he’d be spending the rest of his life with you. He never imagined either of you falling out of love, and perhaps that’s why it takes him so long to realize it when you do.

○ Akutagawa can tell that something is different, maybe a little off, but he doesn’t think too much of it. He figures that maybe you’ve had a bad week, or are feeling a little off. Either way, if you wanted to talk about it surely you’d come to him so he gives you your space.

○ It’s when things don’t get better and you only seem to be drifting further and further away from him that Akutagawa begins to worry. He sits you down to talk things over, finally. Seeing your chance you decide to break things off. They haven’t been working for awhile, in your opinion, and it’s better sooner than later.

○ What was obvious to you comes as a complete shock to Akutagawa. He freezes so completely you’re almost afraid for him, and he just gets up and leaves. He’s heartbroken, but he refuses to show you and avoids you like the plague while you’re moving out, and after the breakup. You’re not likely to hear much from him again.

○ Akutagawa put so much faith in the relationship, he takes the breakup hard. He very likely has a hard time trusting a new partner for a very long time, and ends up afraid that everyone he loves will end up getting sick of him and leaving - it’s not the first time it’s happened, after all.

Chuuya:

○ It starts with little things; less enthusiasm with his little surprises, less interest in dates. Chuuya notices, but doesn’t overthink it - like Akuagawa he assumes you’ve probably had a rough week or something along those lines, and are particularly worn out.

○ Unlike Akutagawa, though, he decides to do something about it. A nice surprise, or something along those lines. Unfortunately, he plans it right before you planned to break things off, and you feel too guilty to break up with him right after he’s treated you.

○ He sits you down to talk and you avoid the question until Chuuya gets frustrated. It’s when he ends up, in the heat of the moment and a fit of anger, asking if you even love him that he realizes that you don’t. Your silence tells him everything.

○ Chuuya ends up going out for the night to clear his head. He goes fro a drive and he’s gone so long you start to worry, but you don’t dare call him after the trith finally comes out.

○ Chuuya is heartbroken, but he’s an adult. Once he’s gotten some of his emotions out he comes back home and talks things over with you. You breakup, of course, and he even helps you find a new place. He’s civil with you, but distant, and you can tell he’s hurting.

Dazai:

○ Dazai knows from the beginning. He can see all the signs; the way you look at him changes, the way you react to his touch, the lack of interest you have in doing things together, the way you slowly stop taking care of him. He can see it all, and is left slowly watching as you let him go.

○ At first he tries to change your mind. Afraid to lose you after it took so much to let you in Dazai turns up the charm. Working to make you laugh, to spice up the relationship in any way he can; in and out of the bedroom. Anything to rekindle the spark.

○ He realizes quickly that it won’t work and stops trying altogether. It’s almost jarring for you, the way he goes from trying to sweep you of of your feet to barely even speaking to you. Once he realizes you’re letting him go and he can’t force you to hold on, he does the same.

○ But try as he might to let go you’ve tied yourself to his heart and he can’t undo the knots. It hurts to watch you move on, and Dazai can’t quite bring himself to suggest you break up. Instead he sort of fades away from you; starts ignoring you, drifting away, until either you break things off or it’s too obvious that they’re over and the two of you barely speak.

○ Dazai falls into a major depression after you’re gone. He overworks himself to give himself somthing to focus on, and he tries to replace you with women he find in bars, or wherever else, but nothing seems to fill the hole you left within him.

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs imagines #bungou stray dogs imagine #bsd #bsd imagines #bsd imagine #imagine #headcanons #angst #Dazai Osamu #chuuya nakahara #akutagawa ryunosuke #atsushi nakajima

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kalperun · 5 years

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Zebra (BSD, aku/atsu)

To my dear friend @whyis-every-username-taken and her wonderful BSD OC James Michener who can read the memories of people by looking into their eyes. It is also to be noted that he helped Akutagawa get out of the port mafia and join another ability group known as the Degenerates and helped solidify the relationship between Atsushi and Akutagawa.

Atsushi was never one to blatantly ditch unfinished work. Work that only needed a couple more pen strokes to pass Kunikida’s microscopic gaze of judgement before going on a lunch break. But these past few weeks, as soon as he saw that the clock struck noon, meaning that he was now allowed to leave for his hourly scheduled lunch, Atsushi found himself jumping straight out of his seat, towing his bag with him, and heading out the door in one quick fluid motion.

A fluid motion that should be reserved for signing his name at the bottom of his paperwork, something that he tended to forget. And Kunikida kept reminding him of that fact with increasing annoyance.

Besides Kunikida’s throbbing vein in his temple that Atsushi was positive would explode one day, it was as if he was more than eager to leave the closing walls of the ADA. As if he was more than jubilant to be rid of his co-workers; an excitement that was equal to Dazai’s past happiness when he finally found a method of suicide that was both a marvelous experience as it was completely painless.

But Atsushi never meant anything offensive by his quick need to leave as soon as the second hand met ‘noon’. He simply had places to be. Places and perhaps also something that he could be tending to. The ADA wasn’t his entire life after all. He had school and other people such as James to meet up with.

So when people such as Tanizaki raised an eyebrow at his rushed departure, and Ranpo merely stared at Atsushi with a look that told him he was more than willing to keep quiet in exchange for some candy, Atsushi learned to ignore it but always come back with said candy.

Mostly because some things were just not meant to be told. Some things were just meant to remain secret. It wasn’t necessarily lying. He simply wasn’t speaking about his lunches ime endeavors with a certain person.

That certain person who had pulled him straight into the alleyway by the ADA, hand covering his mouth as Atsushi held back a yelp until he realized who it was he was looking at.

“Were you followed?” Akutagawa asked without wasting a second as he released Atsushi, taking a moment to skillfully glance out the alleyway while remaining attached to the shadows.

“I know I wasn’t part of the port mafia and had all that ninja training you had, but I am part of the ADA,” Atsushi took a moment to remind. Although, he was slightly annoyed at the fact that Akutagawa had once again unexpectedly pulled him out from the street with unnecessary force. But on the upside at least he hadn’t used Rashoumon to do it. This time.

Akutagawa simply returned back to Atsushi’s side, an eyebrow quirked at the weretiger before he started to walk. “You’re skills in stealth are still mediocre at best.”

Okay, perhaps Akutagawa was a bit on the bullseye there but that didn’t mean that Atsushi wasn’t going to be defensive about it. “I’m not bad. It’s just not being in my tiger form can make it - difficult.” Weak argument, but at least Akutagawa was pitying him enough to not shatter the last defense he had against his pride. So in a last ditch effort to keep the ex-mafioso from speaking further he grabbed his hand, his arm pressed against the others own as they made their way out the opposite end of the alley, walking briskly down the street.

“Any plans on where you want to eat this time?” Atsushi asked as he looked up at the other. “I know you seemed to like that curry place from last week. We could go there again.”

All he received in response though was a rather unresponsive hum. Atsushi didn’t mind though. Akutagawa had things to look out for currently. Such as other ADA agents going out on lunch break. Only just one concern, but the biggest concern you can have when you’re trying to keep your relationship a secret.

“This way.” Akutagawa suddenly spoke up, gripping Atsushi’s hand tighter as he kept his head low, hand now wrapping around Atsushi’s shoulders urging him to do the same as the sides of their bodies were pressed against each other. It didn’t help that Atsushi had such distinctive hair, but it did help a bit when using their guise as a couple to allow attention to wash over them.

But it wasn’t a guise. And that was made evident as soon as they found themselves on a park bench, store bought bento boxes sitting between them as they ate their lunch in relative peace. There was nothing but the cool wind against their backs, miraculous shade casting over them thanks to the hanging cherry blossom tree that would not bloom until months to come.

This is what Atsushi has been doing everyday for the past few weeks.

Ever since James got them both to be cordial with each other, and to talk, they started to meet up on their own. After all, Dazai was pushing for them to be partners, not in the way Chuuya and him are ‘partners’ currently, but partners out in the field. Because with their abilities combined they were nearly unstoppable.

So with Dazai training them to be partners and then James pushing them towards toleration of each other and then friends...well. That’s how Akutagawa and him ended up here. Sharing a bench and eating bento boxes together as they began yet another lunch date.

“You said yesterday that you had a mission with the Degenerates. How did it go?” Atsushi asked around a mouthful of rice, never really having the courtesy to swallow then talk. A flaw that Akutagawa has pointed out but never held against him. Atsushi already lacked enough confidence in the area of dating. Let alone dating your suppose-to-be mortal enemy. Best not to think about such things.

Akutagawa huffed, his bento box set neatly on his lap as he regarded the question almost thoughtfully. Atsushi could just see the creases between his almost-existent eyebrows as he figured out how to answer. If Atsushi lacked in dating his once-upon-a-time-enemy - who tried to kill him multiple times but the action was mutual - then Akutagawa definitely lacked in the same area.

It was unusual at first. For the both of them. From trying to be each other’s demise, to then sharing coffee, and then kissing… He wondered if this was what it was like for Chuuya and Dazai.

“It was fine,” Akutagawa admitted. “It’s just sometimes strange remembering that the Special Abilities Division used to watch me closely, and now I’m technically working for them.”

Atsushi laughed at that. “A lot of things have changed. But perhaps for the better…” He let the sentence hang though, as if hoping for Akutagawa to continue, which to his credit he did.

“I know. Between me and you, then Gin and I being apart of the Degenerates. The only thing that hasn’t changed is Dazai pushing us to be the next soukoku.”

“I don’t think that’s too bad though. As long as it doesn’t interfere too much with my school work and things at the ADA, I am sure we can achieve the goal of being what Yokohama needs.”

“The next soukoku?” Akutagawa asked for clarification.

“Yeah, except the name doesn’t fit.” Atsushi thought out loud as he stuffed another rice ball into his mouth. “I mean - double black? I contrast that color and you have that whole Rogue from X-men hairstyle going on.”

“And I am sure that you must know that I can’t understand a single word you’re saying.” Akutagawa deadpanned as he set aside his now empty bento box, unable to hear the weretiger over the cluster of rice in his mouth.

Atsushi almost choked as a laugh tried to build its way out through his throat, but with a well-timed swallow he was able to avoid the embarrassment. “I was saying that the name ‘soukoku’ doesn’t fit.”

Akutagawa paused in thought before giving a slow nod of agreement. “I suppose I see your point. But it would be simpler to just go with ‘shin soukoku’ and move on.”

“Sure, it’s simpler but it’s not as fun.” Atsushi argued before it dawned on him. “Oh! I got it!” He stated as he turned his entire body to Akutagawa, mustering the most serious face he possessed and with - miraculously - an unwavering voice he said, “Zebra.”

Akutagawa stared at Atsushi. “No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Atsushi,” Akutagawa breathed out his first name. “We’re not calling ourselves zebra.” He tried to urge as Atsushi only started laughing. “It’s not funny.”

“But it is!”

“We’re not calling ourselves zebra.” Akutagawa said with a tone of finality, causing Atsushi to pout as he finished off his own bento box.

“You have no idea what great opportunity you’re missing. Zebras are majestic creatures.”

“Uh huh,” Akutagawa hummed with the amount of fucks he gave which was zero.

“And,” Atsushi waved his hand in the air as he stood up with his empty bento box, his bag slung across his shoulder. “It fits our white and black aesthetic.”

With an over dramatic eye roll that could send the earth spinning the other way, Akutagawa only shook his head as he fell into step with Atsushi, both of them taking a moment to throw away their bento boxes before continuing on.

“I think James would approve.”

Akutagawa quirked an eyebrow. “Even if James was offered the option between a million yen or adopting an orphaned ability user who would kill him in the middle of the night, he would still choose the orphaned ability user. So his ‘approval’ does little to change my mind.”

Atsushi snorted as he let out a laugh, nudging Akutagawa with his shoulder as he did so. “And yet here you are, out of the port mafia because of his influence. I smell a liar.”

Atsushi could feel the small glare that Akutagawa was giving him, but he knew it was playful and he didn’t mean anything by it. “Speaking of James, you haven’t looked him in the eye have you?”

Chewing on his bottom lip he gave a nod as he sighed heavily. “I think he knows I’m avoiding his gaze on purpose at this point. But you have seen him a couple times this past couple weeks, haven’t you? Was he suspicious of you as well?”

A small shake of his head led to a small breath of relief for the weretiger. “Partly. James does tend to think the best of us. So I don’t think he’ll identify this as distrust or malice but he would be worried. He might end up asking what’s wrong eventually…”

“And when he does what do we say? I don’t like lying.” Atsushi wasn’t even good at lying to begin with. And lying to people when he had their trust? He wasn’t keen on breaking that trust. James being no exception to that rule whatsoever. “Even all this sneaking around feels like lying. But I don’t want to tell everyone about us. At least not now.”

Atsushi knew that people wouldn’t mind him and Akutagawa being together, but Atsushi also wanted to keep this to himself just for now because he didn’t feel ready for his relationship with him to come out yet. He knew that Gin knew about them, and Atsushi didn’t mind and actually liked having at least one person know, but for now, he just had to figure things out.

Between school, the ADA, becoming Dazai’s dream team, Atsushi needed to figure out where his relationship with Akutagawa fit in this entire mess that was called his ‘life’. On the bright side Akutagawa understood that and the sneaking around gave some excitement to the relationship.

With the Degenerate sneaking into his apartment at night so the both of them could watch some bad rom-com, or just talk and cuddle in bed together, or just go out like this together, it was nice and fun. Like Dazai’s suicides it was a marvelous experience and completely painless.

“We wait then. That’s all there is to it.” Akutagawa’s words made it all sound so simple, but at some point even he knew that Atsushi was going to need a small push for this to work.

Smiling brightly at the man beside him clothed in all black, with a sleek pair of sunglasses, he wrapped his arm around his. “Looks like we’ll make good partners after all. But about zebra-” Atsushi didn’t get to finish the sentence as quite suddenly he was pulled into the nearest alleyway for the second time that day, Akutagawa pressing Atsushi against the wall, Rashoumon wrapped around his mouth.

It made Atsushi flush at the rather intimate position he had put them into. With Akutagawa’s body pressing against his own so Atsushi was flat against the wall, and Rashoumon prohibiting him to speak, his ears went red at the possibility of someone seeing them in such a compromising position.

Rashoumon retreated, Akutagawa putting a finger to his lips as Atsushi in that moment, with his brain on the fritz, asked the dumbest thing that could come to mind. “Is this about the Zebra?”

The look that he received only had Atsushi start laughing, causing the Degenerate to press his hand against his mouth as a very familiar voice could be heard passing by the alleyway.

“James, we’re going to be late! Making that stop for your slushee made us behind schedule. We’re already thirty-two seconds late.” That was without a doubt the strict and stern voice of Kunikida that at one point probably made multiple poor math students he used to teach piss in their seats.

“Well, to be fair, I wasn’t just going to refuse the nice lady who bumped into me after she knocked my other slushee out of my hand. She was insistent, and wanted to buy me another one.” And that was James. Just James. That’s all that was needed to know based on the wreck of a history professor.

“She was hitting on you.” Kunikida supplied.

“Yes, She was nice - wait - She was what?” Came James’ confused voice.

“I know. I’m just as surprised as you are.” Kunikida responded curtly, clearly busy with his overzealous schedule.

The two familiar and passing voices slipped away past the entrance of the alley, now too far to be able to hear coherent words, leaving behind two teenagers who were still entangled with each other against a wall, their shoulders shaking.

Atsushi lost himself into laughing against Akutagawa’s shoulder the other joining lightly in the contagious hilarity of the situation as they then slipped down to the ground, just the both of them together, laughing, on a filthy ground without a care in the world.

It was for that very reason when Atsushi found a stuffed animal zebra on his desk the next morning - no name of the sender but he already knew who sent it - he named it ‘slushee’.

@tradrishanally a fic for your cute fic war as well!

#bungou stray dogs #anime #bsd #atsushi nakajima #bsd atsushi #bsd akutagawa #akutagawa ryuunosuke #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #bsd kunikida #fan fic #oc #oc belongs to whyis

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shinsoukokuvalentine · 6 years

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I love all your content so so much! you can do it!! You're honestly so amazing, there is no way I would have been able to write even one of your fics, let alone run a blog which regularly posts them for over half a year! When/if you feel up to it, can I request a fantasy/fairy tale AU of a dragon Aku guarding prince Atsu locked in a tower? (or the other way around, whatever works for you)

(Thank you so much! Sorry about the wait; I’m slowly starting to feel better. I took some days off just to get things done and I think it’s setting me back on track.)

151/365: A Fate of Scales and Fire

Atsushi opens the shutters early. The east window at dawn is the best place to experience the morning sun, because for a few precious minutes, it shines directly on Atsushi’s face through the gap between the nearby mountains.

With a sigh, he rests his head and arms on the windowsill. Footsteps sound behind him, and a lock clicks. The door creaks on its hinges as it opens. Only a moment passes before Atsushi hears a familiar grunt.

“You haven’t touched your breakfast,” mutters Akutagawa. Atsushi shakes his head, and Akutagawa adds flatly, “It’s getting cold.”

Atsushi shrugs. “I don’t care,” he mutters.

From behind him, Akutagawa groans. “Well I do,” he says. “So stop being childish and eat your breakfast.”

Atsushi huffs. “Maybe I’d stop acting childish if Father would stop treating me like a child.”

Silence. Akutagawa says nothing, and simply steps over to the table, takes the breakfast tray, and walks back to the door.

“You know it’s for your protection,” he says quietly.

Atsushi whips around. His servant, Akutagawa, remains nonplussed by his master’s sudden rage.

“I’ve been here five years, Ryu!” cries Atsushi. “The minute I turned thirteen, Father had me shipped out here!”

“I know,” Akutagawa mutters.

“I haven’t touched the ground in five years!” Atsushi goes on, spreading his arms out. “Just this tower! That’s all I’ve touched for all that time! And I’m sick of it! I hate every part of living here!”

Akutagawa stiffens. Atsushi stops. Slowly, the weight of his words dawns on him, and his mouth goes dry.

“Oh… Ryu, I didn’t mean...” he starts to speak, but the door closes behind Akutagawa before he can finish. A lump in his throat, Atsushi sighs again.

“Out of everything I hate here,” he whispers, although no one’s around to hear, “you aren’t one of them.”

Since Prince Atsushi was placed in the tower by his father, the King, only two beings have stayed with him: Akutagawa and the dragon.

The dragon guards him. It sits either atop the tower - spitting flame, roaring loud enough to shake the earth - or at the tower’s base, in the dragon’s keep - asleep, breathing smoke from its nostrils. It’s allowed outside.

Akutagawa, on the other hand, serves him. He washes Atsushi’s clothes, cleans the room, and cooks his meals. He’s allowed outside.

Atsushi stays in the tower. He reads the same books over and over, growing tired of them despite the fact that his favorites are still good. He plays chess with Akutagawa sometimes, and loses more than half the time. There are very few rooms he’s allowed to enter. Most of them are closed off, such as the stairs to the servant’s quarters and the dragon’s keep, to which only Akutagawa has the key. Atsushi isn’t allowed outside.

At least, he isn’t allowed onto the ground. When the dragon sits atop the tower, Atsushi will sometimes climb up the ladder to the roof and sit with it, gazing out at the vast world below, curling close to its warm, black body against the chill of the wind. The dragon doesn’t seem to mind.

Sometimes Atsushi wonders if it actually cares for him. When Atsushi visits it on especially windy or cold days, it will try to nudge him with its snout back through the trapdoor that leads inside. But if Atsushi stands his ground, even though the dragon has strength enough to force him into the tower, it doesn’t. Instead the creature pulls Atsushi to its chest and wraps its wings, each the size of a barn, around him. Close to the fire in its belly, Atsushi doesn’t have to fear the cold.

Despite the fact that both the dragon and Akutagawa keep Atsushi trapped, he can’t find it in his heart to hate them. Instead, he envies them, with the kind of soul-consuming envy that digs itself into his stomach and boils there. They can go outside.

Meanwhile, Atsushi’s begun to forget the feeling of grass on his feet.

In one of Atsushi’s books - it’s a boring one, so he didn’t read it very often, which is why he’s forgotten this fact until now - there’s a character trapped in a dungeon. Atsushi realizes, as he reads the book again (it was the only one he couldn’t recite from memory, so he decided to try reading it once more) that while he’s in the dungeon, the character describes in detail the process of picking a lock.

Atsushi’s eyes widen. He sits straight up in bed, now absorbing every word like a sponge, when previously he had only been skimming.

He has a chance.

That night, after the dragon’s in its keep and Akutagawa has since taken Atsushi’s dinner tray, he moves from his bed. He has very few belongings that he’d like to take with him; his favorite book, perhaps, and an extra set of plain clothes. He leaves his crown behind.

He tries what the boring book says about lockpicking, as quietly and slowly as he can. He lets out a gasp when he hears the lock click, swiftly covering his mouth, praying that Akutagawa and the dragon are asleep.

Nothing stirs. Atsushi puts the boring book into the pillowcase where he’s thrown his few belongings, just in case it comes in handy again. Then he opens the door, steps down the stairs, and makes his way to freedom.

The door to the servant quarters doesn’t open. Akutagawa doesn’t call for Atsushi to come back. But the farther down the stairs he goes, the more ache Atsushi feels at leaving him behind.

He stops. He hesitates, standing on the stairs, almost at the bottom, where the final door stands: the door to the dragon’s keep. He wonders, for a moment, if he should go back for Akutagawa.

He shakes his head. No, Akutagawa will protest. He’ll order the dragon to increase its guard, and Atsushi will never get another chance at escape again.

So he continues. As quietly as he can, he opens the door to the dragon’s keep.

The room’s full of smoke, and Atsushi resists the urge to cough. But there is no door in the keep; only a large, arched entryway through which the dragon comes and goes, and which leads directly to the outside. Through the smoke, Atsushi can see moonlight.

He almost sighs with relief. Ducking low under the smoke, he walks forward, skirting around the dragon, too occupied with the sight of moonlight to notice when its heavy breathing stops.

“Where are you going?”

Atsushi freezes. Through the smoke, Akutagawa emerges, bedrobes on, holding a black cloak in his hands. “Are you… Trying to escape?” he says slowly.

Atsushi’s eyes dart between Akutagawa and the moonlight. He could bolt, try to make a run for it. But the dragon would catch him, his thoughts argue, even though he wonders where it’s gone.

After a minute, he sighs and hangs his head. He nods.

“I can’t stand it here, Ryu,” he says quietly. “I need to go.”

Akutagawa stiffens. “But you’re safe here,” he protests.

Atsushi looks up, meeting Akutagawa’s eyes. They’re the color of the smoke around them, and brimming with disbelief and pain that only Atsushi knows how to identify.

“I don’t want to just be safe,” he murmurs. “I want to see more of the world. I want to be able to touch it and feel it and taste it. I can’t stand being so far away from it, Ryu.” When Akutagawa doesn’t reply, only looks down at the floor, Atsushi speaks again, speaks words that he didn’t think, words that come out of his mouth before he knows why they were there in the first place.

“Come with me.”

Akutagawa picks his head up. Atsushi hesitates, but then he sets his jaw. He says it again.

“Come with me, Ryu,” he says. “If you want to keep me safe… Then keep me safe outside the tower. I don’t…” His voice breaks. He pauses, struggling to find words when there were so many before. “I don’t… Want to go without you.”

He knows it’s true. He feels it through every inch of his being.

But he’s worried. Worried that Akutagawa will say no. Worried that he’ll set the dragon on him, worried that he’ll be stuck in the tower until his death.

But then Akutagawa speaks.

“If I can go with you,” he says softly, more gently than Atsushi’s ever heard him speak before, “I’d follow you to the ends of the earth.”

Relief that washes over Atsushi in that instant. For the first time in days, he smiles, and for the first time that he can remember, Akutagawa offers a meager smile back.

“We’ll go quicker if we fly,” Akutagawa says, lifting up the coat he’s still holding. Now that the smoke’s cleared a little, Atsushi can see that it’s patterned like the dragon’s scales.

Atsushi tilts his head. “You mean… Ride the dragon?” he says slowly, incredulously as his eyes widen.

Akutagawa nods as he slips the coat over his shoulders.

“Precisely,” he says, and suddenly, before Atsushi’s eyes, that very coat turns Akutagawa into the tower’s dragon.

He supposes he should’ve put the pieces together sooner. But in the sky, his arms around Akutagawa’s neck, tears in his eyes from the wind and his joy, Atsushi’s too happy to care.

#shin soukoku #sskk #atsuaku #noragamiiscomingback2k18

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popopretty · 7 years

Text

BSD Chapter 53 (51.3) Summary

This is part 3 of Chapter 51 “Echo”. Well, things happened quite fast and out of everyone expectation I guess. I myself think that it’s the calm before the storm but the storm itself might not happen so soon.

Anyway, here’s some summary as usual… Trust me the kanjis in this chapter are killing me. So I skipped a lot of parts, as a lot of things can be understood just by looking at the picture already.

I most likely will make mistakes here and there, both English and Jap are not my mother tongue, but I hope I help explain something. I have seen people either getting excited or criticizing the chapter and I hope I can help pointing out some good things after all.

SPOILERS AHEAD

- Atsushi takes Aku coat and manages to dig a big hole in the quicksand to get out. He combines his ability with Aku to form another ability (somewhere along the line of “Rashomon beast under moonlight - Dark beast super claw”) (TN: lol sorry for my crappy translation - it’s a word by word translation from the Chinese letter lol). With this, once Gon’s rock is cut, it cannot come back to life.

- Pushkin is trying to escape from the cave, ranting about Gon and Fyodor and The Rats in the House of the Dead being just puppet and means of entertainment etc., about being born as a weakling and that blessed ones should take the weak’s hatred and die. Just when he thinks he has managed to escape, he finds the whole Port Mafia and Armed Detective crew waiting for him. He then begs them to spare his life and promises to deactivate the virus but still gets a good beat by Fukuzawa and Mori.

- Back to the base with Shinsoukoku and Gon. Their virus are deactivated too. Then Gon starts laughing and telling them that Fyodor has not been at the base from the beginning. Aku argues that there’s no way Fyodor can give orders from outside, Katai has already taken control of the signal system. Gon then reveals that Fyodor has been given order to them by requesting music on the radio (so I assume the song Gon listened to in last chapter is an order too).

- Meanwhile, Fyodor is sitting in a cafe, ready to get out to prepare for another attack. He’s then greeted by Dazai who is sitting at the same coffee shop. (TN: Fyodor looks genuinely surprised here - but I hope he already has something else on his sleeves because if he doesn’t then that would be pretty boring for this arc). Dazai then explains how they manage to find Fyodor, and that is thanks to Fitzgerald’s “Eyes of God” (remember that software that he obtained some chapters ago?) (TN: I smell Fast & Furious 8 here lol)

- A group of military crew leaded by Ango rush in to capture Fyodor. One of them tries to cuff Fyodor and dies immediately. (Fitzgerald later asks Dazai if he knows what kind of ability Fyodor has and Dazai says no) (TN: Fitzgerald actually asks if "ADA" knows Fyodor ability, but I assume Dazai also includes himself in the context, judging from what happened so far) So Ango and the crew just takes Fyodor and leave (TN: Fyodor looks pretty relaxed. He definitely has his Plan B…or so I wish)

- Some time has passed after the incident, and now we have the Armed Detective Agency dressed in suite on a luxury boat. Tanizaki is worrying about getting punished for not following Fukuzawa’s order (not fighting the mafia) and trying to work out some way to apologize to him. Ranpo is back, but Chuuya is still in. Basically Chuuya just gives up and beats up all the characters ^^”

- We have a Dazatsu moment, where Dazai acts unexpectedly quiet. Atsushi is thinking that it’s strange for Dazai to be making such a difficult face. Dazai then asks Atsu how is it to work with Aku, to which Atsu says it’s terrible and he doesn’t want to do it ever again XD. He then tells Dazai about what happens in the base. Aku tells Atsu that he will wait 6 months for Atsu to improve himself, and after that he will kill him. Atsu agrees to it with a condition, that Aku is not allowed to kill anyone during that time. (TN: Awww) Atsu then makes up his mind to become stronger, to practice and learn how to use his ability, to win against Aku and get over his own trauma with his mentor. Dazai smiles a very satisfied smile and says “The mafia that doesn’t kill huh?”. (TN: My heart skips a beat when I realize this can be a reference to Odasaku ;_;)

And that’s the end of this chapter. Although this is not the best chapter, and there are still many holes in logic that needs to be filled, I think it’s still enjoyable to some extent (Fyodor somehow looks freaking good in this chapter is also a plus). I’m pretty sure the thing with Fyodor hasn’t ended yet but maybe we will get a few more filler chapters before things get serious again :)

Thank you for reading my translation <3

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #spoilers #chapter 53 #chapter 51.3 #summary #thanks for reading #dazai osamu #atsushi nakajima

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chom-raaa · 7 years

Text

A long winding commentary on Home is Where the Heart Is Ch14 (by setosdarkness)

@athina39 whoops this got really out of hand…

This week a lot of my favorites fics have updated and I’m like hmmm HIWTHI will probably update any time now. I have zero self-control when I read this fic, so I spent my whole break, and most of my commute reading. And most of my evening to write this because I did not expect it to be so big (^v ^;)

“…I could hear the number of exclamation points on that. Is that not acceptable?” Tachihara is so adorable, and I love how he’s similar to Atsushi when it comes to Akutagawa, and how Chuuya learned “life skills” from Atsushi lolololololol!! But dammit Chuuya, so clueless, thinking that Tachihara is “such a nice guy” and a “great kouhai” even though he’s acting like Atsushi, even though he knows Atsushi is madly in love. But then I guess Chuuya doesn’t see why someone would love him Q.Q Also, I like the mention of how Chuuya could predict Tachihara’s response “even if he doesn’t have Flawless.” The way flawless and Oda just kind of slip into his thought process kajsdhfajks

I love how Chuuya’s apartment has become all colorful and vibrant with flowers and nice things jdaklhfdkjadshf and DAZAI IS JUST A PART OF IT!!!!

And when the waitress was smiling at Chuuya for dabbing his napkin at Tachihara’s face and he assumes it means she’s approving of that “normal action”, because he thinks it’s normal when Dazai does it. Because apparently he’s not anything special to Dazai so what Dazai does with him is normal, not anything particularly special CHUUYA PLEASE

Also I think everyone reading this fic has adopted Higuchi’s dying seal sound *nods*

Chuuya’s still concerned about his little outing with Dazai after his date awwwwwwww

Dazai knowing Chuuya’s schedule better than him, making all these arrangements for him (“blackout curtains and the hypoallergenic bedding” whooooa), practically managing his life for him what a waifu <3 I also love the thing where Chuuya throws forks and knives at Dazai who effortlessly deflects all the attacks with a spoon, how married they are *Higuchi squealing noises*</p>

YURI ON ICE. YURI ON ICE. That’s all I’m gonna say.

I love love love how Chuuya goes to pray for Dazai’s safety while Tachihara wondered if he was planning sea travel and how it mirrors one of the previous chapters and aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

ANGST RANT #1

Chuuya feels left out of the loop because all these things are happening without him: everyone on some secret assignment and apparently it’s not important that he knows. “He—he’s useless when it comes to strategies and planning.” And he’s just trying to justify all of it, because he’s just not good enough to be included or something like that (but no Chuuya you’re such a good boss!!!!)

Moving on to Chuuya’s expectations. He can’t seem to expect anything good from Dazai and even when good things happen he just assumes it’s temporary and something else is coming later (poor baby).

“I try not to expect Dazai’s good behavior whenever possible” Because Dazai let him down too many times Q.Q

And how he just savors every moment they have together because who knows when it will all just come to abrupt halt?? Like that scene where Dazai booked a room with only one bed and he just enjoys the moment because “after all, once Dazai decides that he’d like to leave again, there will be no repeat performances of this comforting closeness anymore”. And when they screw up the ice skating tournament and it was all such a mess but Chuuya saw it as “a chance to dance that closely, intimately, with Dazai, but that’s neither here nor there”. He perceives it as a “chance”, an opportunity, something good that he wants to hold on to. Despite being so involved in each others’ lives it’s like Chuuya is falling the whole time and bracing for impact, preparing himself for the worst, but then it’s only natural.

And once again with how Chuuya rationalizing Dazai’s behavior. “Dazai laughs - but it’s soft instead of grating. Though that’s probably because…” and there’s always a reason because it simply CANNOT be what he wants it to be. All the excuses are better than making assumptions, because look where that got him in the past.

Poor Chuuya just avoiding the route with the greatest potential of pain QAQ It’s so sad that someone who usually takes things head-on would distort his thoughts ignore some really obvious signs because it’s brought him so much pain.

When Dazai talks about them spending the next New Year’s together “Chuuya smiles, because that kind of promise is nice, but ultimately means nothing. It’s nice, if only in this moment though.” OMG he wants this so bad but he’s so resigned to the fact that Dazai’s just going leave at some point alksdjalksdjf

I love the texts Chuuya gets from everyone. I love how distinct their voices are <3 Atsushi freaking about chazuke, Aku thanking Chuuya for helping him make chazuke (gimme all the akuatsuuuu). Aku warning Chuuya about Dazai, I just love the way he talks about Dazai now go Aku!! Yosano and Kouyou? Ranpo wants to give Poe gifts akjsdfhkajdshf! </p>

Some notes on Dazai: “Does that guy need anything aside from your company anyway?” *more dying seal noises* I just love the way Steinbeck says that like it’s common sense and that the oh-so-tricky Dazai is so obvious and predictable in his affections. And Dazai always replying to texts if they’re from Chuuya, trying to be there in his own way I guess *cheering Dazai on*

“I am helpless against your beauty and I’ll need your company to cure me of this lovesickness” OMG I almost died of laughter (maybe we all kind of have that feeling for Chuuya tho), but then I read the next part where Chuuya thinks it’s some kind of code and then later: “Did you just fucking imply that my looks made you sick?!” aaahahahahahaha I’m dead XD

ATUSUSHI SASS APPRECIATION

“Ah, so the man-tiger really sounds threatening when said by mafia members. I thought it was just Akutagawa.”

“Do you really want to know what i call him, Chuuya-san?” I love Atsu’s not-so-innocent side

And when Chuuya denies missing Dazai and Atsu’s all like"Are you excited about Fukuzawa’s return then?“ LOLOL

Aku’s "I’m going to the hospital” comment. Period.

ANGST RANT #2

OK so the mistletoe, which has all sorts of romantic connotation and stuff, sacred plant of a goddess of love, all magical and etc etc, but then Chuuya says “Mistletoe are parasites, pests….They…kill trees. And stuff” as if he’s talking about how loving Dazai was killing him.

And before they have their indirect “kiss” there’s “Because things have ultimately not changed, have they? They can’t change–because that would mean—“ and he’s just not ready to accept that yet. Not an actual kiss. Puh-lease.

Back to my earlier point on Chuuya anticipating loss and disappointment; he knows he wants this with Dazai, he slowed down all of those moments he had to be close to him, but he just can’t see a happy ending. And Dazai just kind of confirms it too, telling Chuuya he’s going to Russia with Mori and Fukuzawa last minute and leaving just like that. Not really telling him the details of his mission.

And “Dazai siphons the life out of him, leaving him with work, work, work. It’s just like before, only with more phone contacts and more Facebook friends, this time. He wonders if he should feel happy for expecting this all along.” Draining him LIKE THE DAMN MISTLETOE.

Dazai not telling Chuuya that he’s really moved in with him. How Atsushi knows, everyone knows, but not Chuuya. Once again left out of the loop.

ANGST RANT #3

“Dazai claimed to never lie on negotiations and what happened back then–was a negotiation, nothing else……Dazai Osamu is a fucking liar” The way he rejects Dazai’s confession, the way he’s forced himself to see their relationships ajkdfhajksdhfkajsh

“Chuuya’s heart beats staccato beats of misery and hurt, as he watches Dazai’s face remain impassive, in control. He hates it.” This contrast between Chuuya’s turmoil and Dazai’s perceived calmness, Dazai sort of making his decisions for him, running him in circles just because he could predict his reactions. How frustrating, how unfair. The table flip was so impactful in this scene. How can he struggle for autonomy against someone who can grasp everything in the palm of his hand?

Dazai’s trying to be careful but his lack of transparency is one of their biggest problems, way to go Dazai. Just because you know he’s going to reject you doesn’t mean that you can just hide things and not let him do it. Let this poor man decide T.T I do acknowledge his effort though.

Chuuya’s three years of trying to be normal falling apart, I love how he corrected it to eight years, because he’s been struggling for so much longer.

(Mori asking Dazai to be the PM’s new Boss? Ouch, OUCH)

“’And I’m just the sharpest tool in your box.’” He’s been holding that one in hasn’t he? The way Dazai was his world while to Dazai he was just an object to be used.

And holy shit Dazai, telling Chuuya that they can’t have normal things because they’re monsters. Chuuya’s been struggling so long to find self-worth, to finally deserve to live among normal people…I would imagine that he would have these feelings for sure, being such a kind person doing such wicked things, but then it was because DAZAI was the one who said it, who invalidated his feelings, that hurt him the most. *sobbing*

Chuuya’s actually crying now, finally falling apart after keeping it together for so long, but Dazai can’t just kiss those tears away now like he did after his nightmare. Because all of those insecurities and scars are coming right back to reality now.

“Eight years ago and Chuuya would have carved out his own, beating heart, the moment Dazai said that it’s part of the plan.” The way this was written, from the wording to the buildup from the previous paragraphs, was so raw and painful I had to stop reading for a moment because sweet Mother Theresa on the hood of a Mercedes Benz Chuuya needs so much love.

He wants proof, perfectly acceptable because there is overwhelming evidence of Dazai hurting Chuuya. The little bits of him caring for Chuuya are overshadowed by Chuuya’s Dazai-is-pain-I-can’t-come-close-or-I-won’t-be-able-to-bounce-back-again mode. Especially when Dazai is STILL hiding things from him. Still making his choices for him. And despite all of his efforts he feels as if nothing’s changed. Dazai’s still lying, he can’t be normal, can’t escape from the past, “He’s the only one truly disgraced here, tainted with darkness, tainted with the budding light of hope that will never fully bloom.”

Dazai asking for him to just believe even if there’s no proof is outrageous at this point.

But then akjdhfaksjhfaksjadfh Dazai’s all desperate and just pleading for him not to push him away how heartbreaking.

They’re going to need a catalyst to get back together right? Please send help!

Thanks so much for this wonderful update!! So intense adfasajkfhaskjhdjk, I can’t wait to see how the characters handle this. (I did not proofread my comment so sorry if I rambled too much)

#bsd #soukoku #fic #commentary #review #chomra blabs #oh no this got way out of hand

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