#and a bunch of other dumb lung related stuff

[eureka-its-zico]

So I finished writing my first ever Halo series fic and I’m working on chapter 10 of CITB and then the two prompt requests a couple people sent in.

The plan was to release them all tomorrow. However, I’m being admitted again to the hospital so it might be Saturday. As long as someone brings my laptop to the hospital.

And it’s okay. I need to do this or I’ll go crazy lying here focusing on my shitty breathing and the fact nothing is working.

#jenn speaks #I don’t want anyone to be worried or anything #I was admitted 3 times last year and the years previous since I got Covid in 2020 #ya girl only has one functioning lung and bronchiomalacia #and a bunch of other dumb lung related stuff #I’m used to spending my time in hospitals which super suck

[pluviophile-imagines]

3 for bakugo or todoroki

I decided to do Bakugo for this, & then I got this ask after I closed the prompts for this event so I decided to go ahead and do it because it’s actually one of only two Halloween-related ones and I was planning to make this Werewolf!Bakugo anyway lol. This is a fun little AU that just kinda swaps quirks for supernatural creatures, loosely based off of a bunch of campy halloween stuff like Halloweentown and Sabrina The Teenage Witch. Also, the werewolves have destined mates like those dumb Wattpad novels, because sometimes tropes are fun and cute. Also this is THREE TIMES AS LONG AS I MEANT TO MAKE ALL OF THESE but ive also gotten like five??? individual asks for it 😭😭😭so y’all better not let it flop.

3: kissing so desperately that their whole body curves into the other person’s

Though you’ve known Bakugo pretty much your whole life, there’s a lot about werewolves that you don’t know.

If he were a different person, he probably wouldn’t be telling you at 5:47 on his 21st birthday that he’s apparently supposed to figure out who his soulmate is going to be tonight. If he weren’t so closed off, even to his best friend of over a decade and a half, then perhaps you wouldn’t be having this conversation, and perhaps it wouldn’t feel quite like pulling teeth.

“You have a soulmate?” is really all you can say, because most of your mental capacity is going towards keeping the sob in the back of your throat from being audible.

“Yeah,” he grunts. He’s not even looking at you, because he’s holding his phone in one hand and he’s scrolling through it, and though the two of you are sitting on opposite sides of the couch he has your feet in his lap, free arm wrapped all the way around them like he doesn’t want you to leave. “It’s… I dunno. Kinda cool, I guess.”

“All of you have soulmates?”

“Well, yeah. You witches don’t?”

You wrinkle your nose, trying your hardest to ignore the burning at the backs of your eyes. “No. We don’t.”

Out of the corner of your eye you see him purse his lips, as if troubled by the revelation. “Huh. How d’you know who’s the one, then?”

“We just. Figure it out? I guess. Is this why you’ve never dated anyone?”

“Yeah. Not really interested in anyone but my destined.”

He says it so easily, but you know him well enough to understand. He likes the idea of a soulmate; he’s looking forward to figuring out who they are tonight. Who would have guessed that he was a romantic?

It’s awful. It makes your chest burn. You’d only come to terms with your crush on the guy two months ago. Now he’s gonna be taken from you by some random person he’s never met?

No, you suppose, he’s always belonged to them. That’s how it works, right?

“D’you know who it’ll be?”

“Hah? No, dumbass, if I did that would defeat the purpose.” Bakugo pauses, glancing over at you with just his eyes, then darting them away just as fast. It’s probably just a trick of the light, but you could swear he blushes a little as he mumbles, “I know who I want it to be, though.”

Your eyes widen and you lean up, pulling your legs back (ignoring the way his hands tense before letting them go as if he wants to hold on) so that you can kneel on them right next to him. “Who?”

“Not happening.”

“Bakugo,” you whine, drawing out the last syllable of his name.

“I’m not telling you, brat.”

You lean forward, prodding at his cheek. “Is it Mina?”

“No.”

“Jirou?”

“I’m not telling you.”

“Kirishima?”

Bakugo growls out your name, a warning, but you don’t pull away, getting even closer until you’re practically draped over him.

“Todoroki?”

He grabs you, whipping towards you as his arms fly up to wrap around your waist and yank you off him, tossing you back to your side of the couch as you shriek in laughter. He’d never hurt you, you know, and roughhousing like this is hardly new in your friendship; plus, well, you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t been hoping to feel his big, warm hands like this. Despite all his surprises tonight, he’s still all too predictable, and you’d seen this coming a mile away.

What you don’t see coming is him pausing, braced with one arm against the couch all too close to you, holding his torso over you with his head right above yours. And he stares, those crimson eyes unreadable with an expression you’ve never seen before, locked entirely on you.

You can feel his chest rising and falling steadily against yours, and your own eyes are drawn to where his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows thickly. You’re frozen, unable to move though you’d hardly want to anyway, and it hits you like a brick what he’s really been saying the whole night.

You open your mouth to speak, but then the hazy tension is shattered by the shrill sound of his phone.

Bakugo lunges away, pulls back with inhuman werewolf speed, grabbing his phone as he leaps to his feet. “‘S my mom, sundown’s soon, I have to go.”

“Wait, Bakugo—”

“See ya tomorrow, yeah?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, already half out the door.

“Katsuki,” you try, desperate, and it makes him freeze.

The door is open, his knuckles are pale with how tight he’s gripping the knob, but as much as you’ve tried it’s not enough. He’s gone without another word.

You don’t get to sleep that night.

It’s dumb; he’ll lecture you in the morning as he tells you all about his perfect amazing werewolf destined—that was what he’d called it, right? You prefer soulmate. Mate is a wolf thing anyway—who he’s spending all night with, running around in the forest howling at the moon and making out or whatever.

You stay out in the den, curled up on the couch with a blanket draped around you, ice cream in your lap, and an old movie playing that you’re not really listening to because you’ve been too wrapped up in your own head.

For an instant, you’d been so sure. A mere moment of absolute certainty that he was just as in love with you as you are him, that your oblivious pining for years was actually reciprocated. In the hours since he’d pinned you to the couch, you’d convinced yourself otherwise.

Imagine your surprise when there’s a frantic knocking at your door.

It startles you, making you jump about ten feet up in the air, and you freeze on the couch with wide eyes and a gaping mouth staring directly at the solid wood that seems to be shaking in its hinges. You’re halfway to casting a protection charm when a familiar gruff voice shouts your name from outside.

“I know you’re awake, I can hear you in there! Open the damn door!”

You glance at the time to find that it’s just under fifteen minutes to midnight. Awfully soon for him to be done, but you rise from your spot on the couch with the blanket still wrapped around your shoulders and move to let Bakugo in.

“Coming,” you say, not bothering to be loud because you know he can hear even the shifting of your clothes beneath the blanket.

He looks downright feral when you open the door, panting slightly, hair mussed up, eyes wild. But when he sees you, they light up, happy and excited like a damn puppy.

“Are you drunk?”

“Uh… kinda?”

“...Magical bullshit?”

He nods, a rough toss of his head to affirm. “Ancient rituals. Tipsy’s more accurate, if anything. Figured out who my destined is.”

“And you came to me? Shouldn’t you be with your soulmate, then?”

Bakugo blinks, clearly stunned, barking out a burst of laughter before shaking his head. “You’re somethin’ dumbass.”

You go to respond, more than a little insulted because he’s been acting so fucking weird all day and he has the nerve to say you’re being dumb, but any retort is flung from your mind as he steps forward and puts his hands on your arms.

Leaning in until your noses are practically touching, he speaks. “It’s you. It’s always been you.”

“H—huh?” you stutter out, heart stopping and mind reeling with his words.

“I wanted it to be you. And it’s you.” His hands slide down your arms to meet yours. “You’re my destined.”

There’s so much more to say, so much to ask him, everything ranging from but I’m a witch, how is that possible to so we could have been fucking dating this whole time but he doesn’t let you speak, clearly too overjoyed and inebriated, and you’re not entirely opposed when he yanks you in with exactly the level of roughness you’d imagine from him and kisses you.

And finally, finally, after a decade and a half of wanting to (longer than you even knew what kissing was), you can melt into him.

You believe him then, not that you particularly doubted. It’s like his lips are the missing piece to a puzzle, one you’ve been looking for your whole life. He holds you up with ease, werewolf strength coming in handy, as one hand laces with your own and the other darts to the small of your back. He’d be holding you closer, but you’re literally as close as you could be, body curving against him as his taller form hunches over you.

He kisses you far more sweetly than you’d have expected; no teeth or tongue but still all passion, heavy palm and fingers splayed across your back as the other hand pulls you and grounds you. It’s heated and it makes you forget that you’re both standing in the middle of the open front door at midnight.

You’re both reluctant to break away, you can tell because you both linger a little, bodies frozen as the kiss is followed by one, two, three more just as feverish but decreasing in length. Then the two of you pull away for real (not by much, no, he’s holding you far too intensely for you to get far) and you stumble backwards pulling him by his shirt into your home. He gets the hint, following and shutting the door behind you but not letting either of you make it very far beyond.

“All right,” you say finally, breathless both from the kiss and from giddy laughter bubbling up within you, “all right, you’re my soulmate.”

Bakugo kisses you again.

#bnha x reader #bnha imagines #mha x reader #mha imagines #bakugo x reader #bakugo imagine #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki imagine #ground zero x reader #ground zero imagine #anon #halloween au #soulmate au #I REALIZED JUST NOW WHEN I LINKED THE ASK THAT THE ANON WANTED THE READER TO BE A WEREWOLF TOO OOPS I MADE THEM A WITCH #oh well we can pretend the reason baks can have them as a soulmate is cause theyre part werewolf #ask.🌧 #mine.🌧 #char.🌧 bakugou #event.🌧 750 follower prompts

[miss-tc-nova]

Fools on the Dancefloor - Xehanort x Eraqus

So this was my first fic for the Checkmate zine before I settled on the piece that I did actually end up making. I hope you enjoy because I definitely enjoyed writing it. 

Music Inspiration: Slow Dance cover by Ashestoashes

~~~~~

               “Yo, Fleetfoot!”

               When the pillow—his textbook—flies from beneath him, there’s a heavy THUNK and the boy in white jolts upright in shock. He finally comprehends the pair off to the side and gives his friends a cheesy smile.

               “Hey guys. What’s up?” he greets, rubbing at the spot his head met the table.

               Bragi snickers, but Vor is a little more serious. “You know Master Odin still expects you to know the stuff you sleep through.”

               That goofy grin replies, “I haven’t flunked out yet.”

               “You’ll be close if you keep drooling on your book.” Bragi’s upper lip curls back and he’s no longer keen on holding the text. “Gross! How can you catch up when you can’t even read the material anymore?”

               “It’s a talent.”

               “Whatever,” Bragi scoffs. Little Vor giggles behind her fist while the unimpressed boy throws his arms behind his head and leans his chair back on two legs.

               “Are you guys ready for the banquet this weekend?” the girl asks.

               “Not really,” Eraqus grumbles.

               Bragi groans along with him. “Man, don’t we already do enough to celebrate the Scala founders? We already got the festival, the show, and the lantern thing. We really gotta add a bunch of dumb speeches and some hokey pokey? Why are we even going again?”

               “Because Master Odin wants us there representing the future of keyblade wielders,” Vor sighs. “But I have to agree, it’s a little overkill on the celebrating.”

               “Some representation we’ll be when only Fleetfoot has fancy feet,” the red-head huffs. “The rest of us’ll be out there steppin’ on toes and Xehanort will probably be flat on his face.”

               Eraqus tilts his head. “You don’t think he can dance?”

               “Era, not everyone has your prestigious upbringing,” Vor reminds firmly. “It’s a miracle the rest of us have some basic understanding of formal dancing, but Xehanort came from a world completely different than ours. And from the sounds of it, he wasn’t exactly popular there.”

               The thought interests Eraqus; finding something Xehanort can’t do is pretty rare. “Yeah, but Xehanort learns pretty quick. We’ve spent most of our lives learning to use a keyblade but he caught up in less than a year.”

               “That’s true,” Bragi agrees. “It’d probably take him less than an hour to master the waltz or somethin’.”

               A hand slams down on the table, startling the boys enough that Bragi topples backwards. “That’s it! Eraqus, you should do a dance class,” Vor says excitedly.

               “D-Dance class?” Eraqus stammers. Even Bragi, once he’s shoved himself off the floor, gives her a skeptical look.

               “Yeah. Even if you try to help Xe, he’s not gonna accept it if he’s the only one. So what if we all went? Besides, I know I’m a little rusty.”

               Granite eyes look to Bragi who shrugs. “I got the gist of it, but my folks never made me learn so I guess I’m in.”

               Teaching Xehanort to dance—now that’s something Eraqus might enjoy. At first, his relation with the new-comer was adversarial, but as their competitions became more and more ridiculous, something stronger grew between them. There’s still a rivalry, but Eraqus began to notice a magnetism drawing him to his friend—a desire to be in his presence as often as possible. Outside that presence, he felt like he was lost in a fog. He spent his life navigating only what was right in front of him, but when Xehanort came into the picture, that smog rolled out and everything seemed clear. The pressure that comes with prestige fades, that outcast feeling he couldn’t shake slips away, and the jubilant act he used to put on becomes real—he’s truly happy when Xehanort is around.

               Dragging him from his contemplations is the creaking door; in steps the very person that has no issue overriding Era’s thoughts.

               “You guys do know class ended like thirty minutes ago, right?” he states, shifting the box under his arm.

               Bragi rights his toppled chair. “Yeah, but we decided to hassle Sleepfoot here.”

               “Guess what!” Vor shouts, hopping closer to Xe. “Eraqus is gonna teach us all to dance!”

               Well, he hadn’t actually accepted yet, but he can only meet that inquisitive glance with a fool’s smile.

               “You guys have fun with that.” The dismissal is so easy it pricks at Era’s ego.

               “So then you don’t mind looking like a clown at the banquet?” Bragi says with his signature smarmy grin. Silver eyes narrow at the offender. “Unless you can actually dance—in which case, show me wha’chu got.”

               Before Xehanort can retort, Vor tugs at his haori. “Come on! We’re all doing it. We’re supposed to be representing our school—we can’t be stumbling around.”

               Once again, he looks to Eraqus as if he’ll get an answer but Era’s being dragged into this just as much as he is.

               “Ugh. Fine.”

               “Great! We’ll do it tomorrow night after dinner!” the girl announces. “Bragi, come with me! We gotta find the others!”

               “Alright, alright.” There’s a clear difference in the enthusiasm and energy, but the two scurry off.

               “Those two are up to something,” Xehanort murmurs, watching the door close.

               “You think so?”

               “Yeah…” The suspicion fades when the youth in black turns back to Eraqus. There’s something soft there that churns at Eraqus’s stomach. “Anyway, chess?” he offers, holding up the box.

               “Oh, right!”

               The boys settle into their window seat, basking in the sunlight and pushing pieces across the board. Eraqus’s game isn’t up to par—his mind distracted with tomorrow’s endeavor. It’s fleeting, but there’s also the thought of Xehanort looking down at him, smiling, slow dancing. There goes any productivity he had any hope of having today.

~~~~~

               Class seems like an eternity and Eraqus can’t even nap through it this time. There’s a strange excitement concerning his dance class bubbling in his brain. He has a habit of half-assing things that involve effort—usually just getting by—but he’d actually spent time last night rehearsing what’s been drilled into his head since he was little. Even his daily chess game with Xehanort can barely distract him from his impatience, earning him a lecture from the boy who won’t accept an easy win—let alone two days in a row.

               Eraqus has never been early in his life for anything, he was even born a week late, but today is different; today, Eraqus scarfs down dinner like a starving man and rushes back to the classroom lugging a record player he’d borrowed from the Master. His heart is only just starting to slow when the door opens.

               “I told you guys he’d be here,” Vor says loudly.

               Urd smirks. “Now if he could just be on time to class.”

               Eraqus laughs. “I had to get the record player running.”

               “Oh my gods, he’s even prepared,” she gasps. “Did Hermod hit you too hard in class today?”

               Not thrilled with the subject, Hermod urges, “Alright, stop teasing him. The banquet is tomorrow so let’s get started.”

               The shortest classmate hurries forward. “Psst, Xe’s been grumbling about this all day, so you gotta give him lots of encouragement,” she whispers louder than necessary.

               “Okay?” Era agrees questionably. Standing straight, he notices how awkward Xehanort looks just being here, not even meeting anyone’s gaze. “Um, okay. Everyone partner up.”

               Vor hops beside Bragi while Urd nudges Hermod with an elbow; that leaves Xehanort—the person who needs the most help—without a partner.

               Eraqus glances around. “Wait, where’s Baldr?”

               “Said he already had plans to hang out with his sister,” Bragi answers.

               “Oh…” Well this un-evened the odds, granted they were already playing with some strange odds with four boys to two girls without the dance teacher, but at least even numbers made it possible to practice in pairs.

               “Guess I’ll just sit this one out,” Xehanort says, not at all irritated with the situation.

               Eraqus glances to Bragi and Vor who wave him on enthusiastically. While he may have been a bit enamored at the thought of dancing with Xehanort, he figured it would be in fleeting moments of demonstration, not being partnered for the whole thing.

               “Uh, no. It’s okay…I’ll be your partner.”

               The pair gives him thumbs up but Xehanort looks less amused. “Seriously?”

               The teacher shakes the doubt from his head. “Yeah.” He motions for Xehanort to approach. “Come on. I’ll do the girl’s part.”

               Cautiously, the boy in black comes closer. Trying to conceal his nerves, the expert props up his partner’s arms in the correct position and slides in to take the girl’s stance. As soon as Eraqus’s hand meets Xehanort’s bare arm, the latter recoils.

               “Nope! No! Uh uh! I’m out!” Xehanort blurts out, attempting to flee the situation.

               “Ah! Wait!” Eraqus snags a fistful of black fabric. “Come on. You didn’t even get to the first step. It’s really not that hard.”

               “I think I’d rather just make a fool of myself.”

               “You’d…rather be made fun of than dance with me?”

               The response comes harshly. “That’s not what I said!”

               The fabric creaks in Eraqus’s grasp while he lets his eyes plead for him. Somehow, in spite of Xehanort’s stubbornness, it works and the reluctant boy turns back with a sigh.

               Surprisingly, the class moves forward quite smoothly. Having done this before, the others require only some refinement on their moves while Xehanort is quick to catch on as always. The muscles in Eraqus’s face begin to ache from his uncontainable grin. Even as he’s correcting minor mistakes, his thoughts are teeming with the moments he’s got Xehanort’s hands on him and the static that buzzes across his skin where contact is made

               Currently, Eraqus is in the middle of teaching the pairs how to dip.

               “The girls should have most of their weight on the outside foot but the guys should still be holding them up somewhat.” Just as Eraqus begins to lean back, he remembers something. “And the guys should never—”

               The end of that sentence was ‘lean over their partner’ which is exactly what Xehanort does. This shift in weight unbalances the boys and down they go. Air promptly evacuates Era’s lungs as he’s squished between the floor and his partner.

               “Are you okay?” Hot breath ghosts across Eraqus’s nose.

               “Yeah,” he chuckles softly, the embers of a fire starting between his shoulder blades. Those silver eyes are so pretty up close, easily mesmerizing Eraqus.

               Xehanort helps the boy back to his feet, but as he does, there’s a disturbance that tugs the teacher’s attention to the far side of the room.

               “Shhh!” Vor hisses. She and Bragi are in the middle of harassing the other two, ushering the unwitting pair towards the door.

               “Hey!” Eraqus exclaims, starting for their friends. “What are you guys—”

               His steps halt when the grasp on his hand doesn’t release. With caution, he looks back at his fingers, still linked with Xehanort’s. His eyes trail up the opposite arm to the boy’s face, who refuses to make eye contact. Still, there’s the faintest dust of pink across his nose.

               “Show me that one again,” he murmurs.

               It doesn’t matter that Hermod and Urd are protesting or that Bragi and Vor are shushing them; absolutely nothing in this moment could tear Eraqus’s attention away from Xehanort. Without a word, he resets his stance, nudging Xehanort to take the lead.

               It’s a little strange to be playing the girl’s part in such a formal dance—having been unwillingly taught to be a leader his whole life—but Eraqus ignores discipline. The lesson forsaken, he lets his body react to the signals Xehanort gives while his mind soaks in this little bit of bliss.

               Having long forgotten their lesson, the pair slow dances for some time before Xehanort speaks with a crooked grin, “I told you they were up to something?”

               Eraqus laughs in response. “Do you think we should tell them we’re already dating?”

               “Nah, this is more entertaining. Besides, they deserve a little suffering for trying to meddle. Bunch of conniving foxes, all of them.”

               “Us too?”

               “Especially you.”

               “Me?”

               A spark shining in silver eyes expresses that adoration Eraqus used to confuse for less amorous feelings. Knowing what he does now, that look makes him feel so light.

               “Hiding all your talent behind that clown mask.” Xehanort’s words hold insult on the surface, but beneath them, in that husky tone, is that admiration. “The skill, smarts, wit…all on top of just how damn gorgeous you are.”

               Heat surges into Era’s ears. Afraid of turning into a real clown, he let’s his gaze fall to their feet. However, at the insistence of the hand at his back, the gap between them closes. His brain stutters briefly before the calm washes over him. The warmth against his cheek, the steady heartbeat against his ear—Eraqus soaks in this incredible comfort.

               While the music floats through the air, the boys continue to softly sway. This would never fly at the banquet; they’re expected to be polite gentlemen and dance with all the girls—that and Eraqus’s parents would never condone this. He’s supposed to be a proper heir who will continue the family line. Xehanort though, he makes it so easy to forget those responsibilities. Besides, they’re perfectly alone right now, no prying eyes, no forbidding parents; the only thing Eraqus has to do right now is enjoy the moment.  

               “It’s getting late,” Eraqus murmurs, noting the moon lighting their tranquility. “I didn’t even get to teach you Scala’s traditional dance.”

               “Now you decide to be responsible?” the other teases. “Why dance at the banquet tomorrow when we can dance here all night long?”

               That brings a flutter to Era’s heart and, from the sounds of it, Xe’s too. “You know the Master is still gonna expect us to be there.”

               “So what?”

               This boy could make every one of Eraqus’s fake smiles real, all with very little effort. “For once I won’t be the biggest fool in the room, not when you don’t even know the basic step of the Choros Lucis.”

               “Oh you’re still a fool; you just happen to be a fool with fancy feet.”

               “I guess that’ll make us just a couple of fools on the dancefloor, huh?”

               “Sure, but probably not because of the dancing.”

               Confused, Eraqus lifts his head. His question dies on his lips, sentenced by a simple kiss that awakens an avarice in the boy. His hands leave their positions, snagging silver hair and preventing any escape Xehanort may have considered. This is everything he’s ever wanted; his whole life, he’s been starved for this unconditional affection. It swells so strongly in his chest he might burst—with a scream, with tears, he doesn’t know. All he knows is that he’s in love.

               For a while, the taller boy indulges him, but does eventually manage to break away, smirking at the resulting pout.

               “That’s why we’re fools.”

#eraqus #xehanort #young xehanort #young eraqus #xehaqus

[recurring-polynya]

9, 13, 19, 23 for RenRuki OTP meme!

9. Have they made each other cry?

Neither Rukia nor Renji are criers by nature, but absolutely yes.

I looked it up, and weirdly enough, Rukia does *not* cry in the manga version, but she does cry in the anime when Renji tells her to go to the Kuchiki. Regardless, I think they both had some wet face syndrome in the days following that.

Rukia was having a pretty tough time in the Academy, and Renji was in a constant state of unconsciously rubbing it in. I bet he made her cry at least once, although she is way too stubborn to actually do it in front of him, I think she did it in private, later.

I’m not sure crying over someone is the same as them making you cry, but I believe with 100% of my being that the “fear she was trying to avoid” in the As Nodt fight was Renji-related, and even though she held it together pretty well at the time, I hope homegirl went home and had a good cathartic sob after the fact.

In the same vein, it’s very believable that Renji had at least one tearful breakdown at some point in the Soul Society Arc. I imagine he came home and puked his guts out after he had to arrest her and throw her in a holding cell and there could have been some tears that went along with that, and possibly also after he found out that Byakuya had no intention of lifting a finger to stay her execution. (I just realized this is not the first time I have headcanoned Renji puking out of grief and it’s true, I think he does, it’s great, I love my brain, thanks)

I would bet money that Renji (possibly both of them) teared up a little when Ichika was born, and/or when they found out about the pregnancy.

Also, not to ruin the vibe, but it seems highly likely that at some point in their acquaintance, probably in their Inuzuri days, Rukia kicked Renji in the nards hard enough to make tears come out of his face.

13. Name something they would never do for the other person.

Like the dealbreaker question, this one is really hard because they are both really intense people who are absolutely ride-or-die for each other (as well as everyone else they know). I am still sticking to my guns that Rukia became a shinigami in the first place for Renji’s sake, and Renji’s entire first character arc involved him binning 40 years of hard work and career ladder climbing to be with her.

That being said, though, they do maintain a fair amount of personal autonomy that I think they would stick to. Renji would never get his brow tatts removed, for example, no matter how much Rukia hates them (or conversely, I think he didn’t tell her before he got them because he knew she’d tell him not to, and he was determined to get them and wouldn’t have listened to her anyway). Likewise, if she asks, he will refrain from wearing a particular pair of extra-terrible sunglasses to a Kuchiki family picnic, but he’s not going to get rid of the sunglasses collection for her. I honestly can’t imagine her seriously asking him to do either of these things-- she’d rather just drag him for them.

I think the part in WDKALY where Rukia decides to keep “Kuchiki” as her professional name was written in a kinda stilted and dumb way, but I do not disagree with it. I am reasonably sure that this was decided at an editorial level, because if they have a Bleach continuation, they would want the character to keep her more familiar name, but then they added the fact that she took his name more generally because people are weird about women who don’t take their husbands name (and then people argue that her keeping her name is “evidence” that she doesn’t love him... so, honestly, there’s no winning either way). Personally, I didn’t like that they waited until they were actually in line at the Soul Society DMV to have this discussion (with Byakuya standing around, no less), but but otherwise, I think it’s a nice compromise, and that Rukia would want to use the names of both the men she considers her family. Renji seemed vaguely disappointed that she wasn’t taking his name entirely, and I can see that, but also, it’s her choice and he doesn’t make a stink about it, which rings true to me.

In all of these examples, the principle is that, all else being equal, each of them will take input from the other, but they would stick to their guns when it comes to decisions about themselves. That doesn’t mean they are going to die on these hills out of sheer stubbornness. I wrote a fanfic once where Byakuya died and Renji married Rukia in order to help her consolidate power in the family, and he took her name and very vehemently made everyone call him by it. 

Also, I am sure there are some household chores that Renji would like done to some particular specifications, and Rukia just will not. Like, she refuses to rinse the dishes before she puts them in the dishwasher and she won’t squeegee the glass after she showers, or whatever the Soul Society equivalents of these things are.

19. If they could each write a single line in their marriage vows, what would they be?

I cannot emphasize enough that Byakuya paid for their entire fancy Kuchiki-ass wedding and even though they are constantly on their best behavior around him, he knows how they are and he would never, ever let them write their own vows.

So, here is a dispatch from some secondary drunken, backyard wedding that they had for close-friends only (Byakuya was also there, but Isshin slipped him a pot brownie and he was feeling very at one with the universe at the time)

Who the heck writes a single line of their wedding vows?? I gave them each a paragraph.

Rukia:

People have been joking a lot, every since we started dating, how lucky you are, but the fact is, I am the lucky one. I’ve been so fortunate, in my life, to have such good friends and family, but I feel luckiest of all to have you-- you’ve always been there to cheer me on, to pick me up, to make me pickles. You’re brave and you’re handsome and you have really, really great hair, and I feel like the luckiest person in Soul Society that I get to marry you. I love you so, so much, you big dummy.

Renji:

I used to think that I would be content if I could just love you from afar. That just being able to see you and hear your voice and know that you were happy was enough for me. But I was wrong, as it turns out, because being able to touch you and kiss you and tell you I love you a hundred times a day has made me happier than I ever thought I could be. I expect that being married to you is going to make me more powerful and obnoxious than anyone here could possibly imagine and I am absolutely not sorry. I love you so, so much, you little dummy.

See, Byakuya, that wasn’t so bad! (maybe it was)

Bonus! In the dead Byakuya fanfic I mentioned above, I had them get married under Gotei authority and I wrote some (partial) shinigami wedding vows that are basically perfect for them and also I was really proud of them:

How will you meet your enemies? As one, we shall meet them, as one, we shall fight.

And how do you swear this? We swear on sword and soul.

Let it be so. With this, you are forged together, a single blade. May your battle be long, and when you fall, may you fall together.

23. Write a ~300 scene between them with no dialogue, only body language.

Wow. Dang. This felt like a personal attack. Anyway, it was really hard, and I did it, but I didn’t like it.

Here’s the scene right where Renji hauls Ichigo off to go fight Ywhach, because I am always thinking about this scene and willing it to make sense (Rukia should have gone with Ichigo, I will die on this hill!!!!), and I think it only works if there’s a bunch of unsaid subtext. It’s depressing, but it’s only 511 words, which is very much like 300 words, almost exactly the same, honestly.

~

The others don’t see it, because they are busy watching Orihime restore Ichigo’s sword, his swords, for maybe the last time, but Rukia does, because she needs an explanation.

Renji’s shoulders slump, his chin tips down, his hands are open at his sides.

He is sorry.

He better be sorry! Rukia clenches her jaw, her eyes burn at him. She is the one who should have yanked Ichigo to his feet, she is the one who should go with him to his death.

Renji’s eyes slide upward and meet hers. His jaw is set.

He is right, and she knows it.

Orihime is hurt. Her lungs are making ominous bubbling noises as Zangetsu pieces itself back together under her care. Rukia is exhausted, but she can manage the kaidou that will save her friend’s life. Renji cannot.

It is more than that, though. Rukia’s bankai is perilous. Ichibei warned her that she should use it sparingly-- that it will take many hours of practice before her body can handle the wrenching temperature shocks. She has used it too many times already in the last 48 hours. She still can’t feel all her fingers and toes since she came back from killing As Nodt. Another go at it so soon may kill her before she even has a chance to be useful. It could kill her and everyone in her blast radius, which might be helpful, but probably...not. Her hand rubs nervously at the hilt of her sword. She tries to flex the dead pinkies, but they deny her.

Renji sees the motion, and he grips Zabimaru confidently. His bankai is new to him, too, but Hihiou Zabimaru was like a weighted practice blade-- So-oh Zabimaru is familiar enough and easy in comparison. Sode no Shirayuki and Zabimaru are both temperamental blades, but Zabimaru has always been at their most dependable when the odds are stacked against them.  

Rukia reaches out and gives Orihime’s hair a gentle pat. She will stay, but she will not like it. 

The side of Renji’s mouth ticks up in a rueful half-smile, and his eyes glitter with the last bit of humor he can muster. She can beat him up all she likes when he gets back.

Rukia flings an arm around Orihime, and stuffs her face into her friend’s shoulder. None of this is fair. 

Renji’s eyes soften briefly, and his eyes are filled with so much love for her. He knows he has the easy job. There aren’t any words to thank her enough for letting him go on a suicide mission with Ichigo while she stays back to give them something worth fighting for.

Then he stiffens, and squares his shoulders once again. He jabs Ichigo impatiently with one foot and screws up his face into the same scowl he always uses to armor his heart. 

It won’t work, Rukia thinks, as Orihime finishes her task and slumps backward. She will keep Renji’s heart here with her, and Orihime will keep Ichigo’s, and no matter what, none of them will die alone.

#otp meme #renruki #rukia kuchiki #renji abarai #this was one big portions for foxes callback post wasn't it? #why can't i ever stick to the rules of these things? #i don't know #there's something wrong with me #thanks for the ask!!

[purplesurveys]

863

Do you have any friends who are on and off with bfs/gfs all the time? Yeah, Jo and Aya don’t make the most stable couple. They had one really problematic stint last year where they would break up and get back together every week. They ironed it out eventually and they’ve been ok for a while, but lately I think it’s a little rocky again because I no longer see them interacting and they’ve been retweeting stuff that gives me a few hints. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve broken it off for good. When was the last time you almost cried out of exhaustion? Ohhhh boy. It was some day in Feb I think? and everything had just been going wrong for me. Andrew and I got yelled at by our thesis adviser because she didn’t like what we submitted and she gave us a day to revise three entire chapters. We stayed in the college working away from 3 PM to 10 PM then when I got home, I realized I forgot to bring with me a certain item that my org entrusted me with. Absolutely wasn’t allowed to lose it. Had a panic attack and this was when I started crying because it was so late and I just wanted to go to bed; though Andrew saved my ass by offering to go back to school at like 11:30 just to retrieve the damn thing. Lastly, that was a time when business reporting was still giving me hell and I was struggling to find a business story around campus to turn in for that week, so I was freaking out about that too. All in all a shit day. What`s a TV show you hate missing? Idk man, if I miss a show I don’t think there’d be hate attached to it. I imagine I’d miss a show because it made me happy, so this doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Do you think it’s funny how people always say their pet is the best ever? It’s adorable haha but not necessarily funny. Whenever someone says it I totally believe them; I think all pets are the best :) When did you last brush your teeth? This morning.

What was the last website (besides this one) that you visited? I checked my Twitter right before this question. Do you have a friend who you think you’ll be best friends with forever? Yes, Angela is for keeps. Does it annoy you when you accidentally delete things? For the most part I can just undo and get the deleted thing back, but when that’s not applicable it can get super distressing. I know I was gloomy for a very long time when I accidentally wiped out my camera roll with photos from 2014-2016. What`s a movie / book / TV show / band / whatever you highly recommend? Movie: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Book: Got nothing in this department. Show: BoJack Horseman Band: Paramore ha. They got a sound for almost everyone! When did you last use a dictionary / thesaurus? Two questions ago when I was looking for an adjective to best describe what it’s like to lose your entire camera roll and, essentially, good memories that you’ve made. Are you anticipating or dreading anything? I ammmmmm anticipating dinner haha. I can’t think of anything I’m dreading.

If someone could randomly give you something right now what would you like? Baked sushi :( It’s a recent trend locally and it looks so gooddddd, I just don’t wanna spend the last of my savings on it or ask my parents to buy a tray for me. What`s the most annoying thing in the world? At the moment it’s people who refuse to wear masks because they claim that it messes with their oxygen level or because they find it personally uncomfortable. When did you last use one of those water slides you put on hills? I have no clue what you mean. What are you sitting on right now? One of the dining room chairs. What skills would you like to learn / develop? Adobe Indesign and iMovie. I dabbled with these recently – Indesign for a class and iMovie to make a video for Gabie – and though I was always too scared to start using programs like these, I actually found them fun and super useful when I finally had my hands on them. When we saw each other the other day Gab was talking about using this break to take up workshops in different Adobe programs so that she’ll have more stuff to put on her resumé, so I might follow her footsteps too. What is something other people say you’re good at but you think you’re not? Teaching. I always feel like I fumble a lot, but idk I get compliments on it so I guess I’m kinda okay but I just don’t see it. What does your bedside lamp look like? I don’t have one. I used to have a wall light though. It was a just tiny lil bulb that I had to plug in to give my room a light orange hue. What did you last take a photograph of? Myself and Cooper. When was the last time you got really frustrated with technology? Yesterday. My laptop was a bit slow when I wanted my YouTube video to go full-screen, and my impatient ass already got irritated with it. What was the last funny thing someone said to you? She didn’t technically ‘say’ it but my mom was singing a song earlier and had the lyrics wrong, and what came out of her mouth instead was so wrong and so funny.  Who taught you to tie your shoelaces? My grandmother. What was the last thing you bought? I bought snacks from my girlfriend’s dad Korean food business! I got myself odeng (fishcakes) and tteokbokki (spicy rice cake) :) Do you want to move to somewhere else? If so, where? Any country with a capable government at this point. What time is it where you are? 8:04 PM. What’s your favourite picture of yourself as a child? I’m not sharing that on here, but I do have my favorites.

Do you like your neighbours? I suppose they’re okay, in a sense that they haven’t done anything to annoy me. I’ve never talked to them in the last 12 years that I’ve lived here though haha I always felt like my mom could take care of the socializing stuff – and she has been. Does your room need to be cleaned? Nah I’m barely in it these days. It’s mostly spotless and things are stacked up neatly. Do you have a good relationship with your family? I wouldn’t say it’s good, but it’s not bad. Super lacking in the emotional aspect, though, and it’s a big reason why at the end of the day I can’t call it a good relationship. What is something people are surprised to hear about you? That I don’t like fruits. The horrified gasps and expressions never get old. Do you make judgments about people straight after meeting them? Only if they blatantly act like a jerk. Do you hate any particular groups of people? I mean I hate racists, abusers, rapists, Karens... but if you mean to ask if I hate any race or people of a certain sexual/gender orientation then most definitely not. Do you fall up or down stairs usually? Down :( Do you constantly break things? (By mistake or otherwise) HAHA yes. What was the last bug you saw? Kinda looked like a moth but I’m not sure what it was exactly. Are there any smells which make you feel nauseous? Rotten egg, any fruits lol. What is the scariest thing you`ve ever gone through? Random men play-lunging at me when I’m walking outside and then laughing once I jump or whimper. I don’t know if there’s a certain script that those fucking pigs follow, but I’ve had several of the exact same experiences through the years. That’s why my friends can always poke fun at the fact that I drive everywhere no matter how close my destination is – at least I feel safest that way. Do you have anything unusual in your bag? No. I only carried the essentials in the last bag I used when I went out the other day. Are there any people you know in real life that you only talk to online? Yeah, there’s a bunch of people I don’t really get to see irl. Some of them are friends who’ve migrated, some are my friends’ parents, my relatives who’ve always lived in the US, etc. Do you think people who don`t care about education are dumb? In the Philippines they will definitely be considered careless, dumb, and having no ambition. But I know education isn’t as big of a priority in other countries and that college isn’t a necessity in those places, so I guess there’s a cultural difference here. What`s your favourite key on a keyboard? I don’t pick favorite keyboard buttons lol. Do you always finish what you start? Nah I’m a little terrible at that, especially if we’re talking of passion projects. I collected Starbucks planners for like six years and was never able to completely fill up any one of them. Who`s your favourite character from The Simpsons? Or do you hate that show? I’m not a big fan of the show but just because I relate to her a lot and the fact that she’s intelligent and a goody-two-shoes, Lisa. Have you ever had any friends who always tried to steal your things? Nah wtf? I’d so easily stop talking to them if all they did was steal from me lmao What is something you will never understand? People!!! Who!!! Aren’t!!! Nice!!! To!!! Servers/Baristas/Anyone working in a job that has to directly deal with customers!!! When did you last laugh hysterically? Probably earlier this afternoon watching a Good Mythical Morning episode.

#survey #surveys

[teaveetamer]

My Issues With TFioS (and Other Elements of John Green)

Alright I’m just going to preface this with two things.

It’s been about six years since I’ve read the entire thing through, so my points are probably not going to be as detailed or precise as they were when I first read it.

If you enjoyed the book, identify with the fanbase, or like John Green in any capacity... Great! You might want to skip this one. This is definitely not the post for you. I’m going to put all of my more controversial thoughts under the cut so if you don’t want to see them you can just move on.

I brought up the book in that other post because I felt it had relevance to the discussion of “authors using characters as a mouthpiece”, but that’s only a small part of my issue with the book itself. I suppose I could have used a fanfiction example, since there’s more than enough fodder there, but I brought up The Fault in our Stars specifically because I feel comfortable criticizing a book in a way that I don’t feel comfortable criticizing fan works. John Green is a public figure that produced a paid product, made money, and does this professionally, while most fanfic authors are amateurs that provide free entertainment and just do it for fun.

Now with that said, we move on to the meat of the post.

Some Background

Perhaps this is not a little known fact, but I absolutely adore love stories. I don’t have incredibly high standards for them by any means, and in fact I actively enjoy them even when they aren’t the deepest, most thought provoking pieces. Someone got me a copy of Red, White, and Royal Blue for my birthday this year and I read the entire thing cover to cover in a day (and I seriously recommend if you’re looking for a pretty easy read with a lot of gay).

The only thing I love more than love stories? Tragic love stories, of course. If anyone has followed my fanfiction or main blog for any amount of time then you know that I love a little bit of tragedy. Usually with a happy ending, but not always. So when one of my friends shoved (and I mean literally shoved) The Fault in Our Stars  into my hands and billed it as a “tragic but heartwarming love story” I thought it would be perfect for me.

I was sixteen at the time, the target age demographic, and I was always looking for books with smart, well written teen characters. At this point in my life I’d never heard of John Green or his fanbase before. I tell you this because I disliked the book as I read it, but I think John Green and his fanbase are a major factor in why I disliked it so much I’m willing to sit down and write a blog post about it six years later. Granted, that’s not all on the book, but it is a factor.

Needless to say, I was not all that impressed by it. At some points I was downright infuriated, really.

My Issues With the Book

In summary, it feels very meh and overly pretentious. After about two chapters I just wanted to put it down, and the only reason I pushed through is because my friend insisted that it got better. She said it was funny, relatable, and intelligent, but I found it to be none of these things.

The impression I got was that the author, whoever he was, fancied himself terribly clever and he wanted everyone to know it. You know the type, the kinds of people that go around and assure everyone of how smart they are? It feels like it was made for haughty teens to brag about how intelligent they were because they read a “deep” book.  The book itself, despite being a surface level of “witty”, didn’t really have anything to say. In the end it reads like a thirty-something year old man bragging about how smart he is and waxing philosophical about the nature of life (and... Breakfast food..?) and using a fictional teenage girl to do it.

That’s why I brought up the “mouthpiece” thing. I didn’t want to read a book about a thirty-something dressing up his thoughts as a teenage girl. I wanted to read a book about a teenage girl.

Speaking of Hazel Grace… I don’t know if this is a common experience, but can anyone else tell when a man writes a female character? I find that I usually can. Men have a particular voice when they write, and especially when they write women. Every single page hammered me over the head with the fact that this was a man who was trying (and, in my opinion, failing miserably) to write a relatable teenage girl. And, in my opinion, he parroted a lot of very upsetting, dangerous mentalities for young women.

There were quite a few “I’m not like other girls, and not just because of the cancer!” moments (a mentality that I find wholly problematic coming from other women, let alone a man writing for a woman) that just had me rolling my eyes straight out of their sockets. She doesn’t care about shoes, see! She reads books! Isn’t that awesome and unique? Because, apparently, women are not allowed to do both.

These problematic mentalities extend into the book’s romance plot, too. Augustus is, frankly, one of the creepiest motherfuckers I’ve ever had the displeasure to read about. Not only is his aggressive creepiness portrayed as romantic, but Hazel reacts exactly how men wish women would react to their advances. Unfortunately I don’t have a copy of the book in front of me so you won’t get much in the way of direct quotes, but some examples include:

He stares at her, completely unblinking, for the duration of their cancer kids support group meeting… before they’ve even so much as spoken a word to each other. Which also features this gem of a quote: "A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault. But a hot boy . . . well." which just perpetuates the disgusting misconception that women are okay with being creeped on as long as a guy is attractive. Spoiler alert: We fucking aren’t.

He repeatedly refers to Hazel as “Hazel Grace”, despite her introducing herself as “Hazel” and asking him to just call her “Hazel”. And not only does he ask for her full name, he demands she give it to him. This rings all kinds of alarm bells for me, because you know who else does that kind of shit? Christian Grey. And it’s manipulative, disrespectful, and downright rude. It is essentially saying “I hear your desires, but I would prefer to address you how I want to address you, not how you would like to be addressed, because my ego is more important than your comfort”.

Hazel is perfectly fine with getting into a complete stranger’s car and spending time at his house mere minutes after meeting with him and after all of the questionable shit he just pulled.

Continuing this book’s litany of problems with women, let’s talk about Isaac’s (ex)girlfriend. The book treats their breakup as this massive betrayal, then even goes on to justify vandalizing her property because of it.

I’m sorry, but no.

You, as an autonomous human being, have the right to end a relationship with someone else whenever, wherever, and for whatever reasons you designate, regardless of previously expressed emotions or promises. How and when she did it was not the most ideal, but she’s an emotionally immature teenager, and there’s never going to be a good time to do something like this. What was she supposed to do, keep pity dating him because she felt sorry for him? Wait until someone invented technology to cure blindness? Assuming she did actually break up with him because of his disability… Are her reasons shitty? Sure. But she’s allowed to have them.

And you know what? He’s allowed to be mad about it. His anger might be completely understandable, if not totally justified. But you know what else? That does not give him the right to take revenge on her by vandalizing her property.

I would have no problem with this scene if it were honest about what it was: a bunch of teenagers with under-developed frontal lobes that are angry and feeling vindictive. But it’s not that. It’s depicted as not only completely justified, but heroic. I’m sorry, no. You are never heroic for harassing another human being.

And Augustus’s dumb little speech to her mom is such garbage. You really expect me to believe that a grown woman was so pwned by some jerk teenager’s super witty justification for destroying her property that she just went inside and, idk, watched TV? Didn’t call the police to report the crime that he and his friends were actively committing against her? Bullshit.

Speaking of bullshit, that scene is pretty egregious, but that doesn’t even begin to cover my issues with this book’s pretentious dialogue. If you told me that they ran every word in this book through Thesaurus.com then I would believe you without hesitation. The one hook, the draw, the thing that kept me reading was supposed to be the relatable characters, but they just aren’t relatable. They’re not realistic in the slightest. Seriously, go read any line of this book out loud and tell me how ridiculous you feel. I kept expecting Augustus to pull off his skinsuit and reveal that he was secretly a robot trying to imitate human speech the entire time.

I’m not sure how far I can go into this point without giving you direct quotes, but half the stuff that comes out of these characters mouths is pseudo-intellectual nonsense. “Put the killing thing between your teeth so it can’t kill you”?

It’s not a metaphor.

Putting an unlit cigarette in your mouth is still stupid. I guess it won’t give you lung cancer, but really? It’s still not a great idea.

Augustus has to go buy these cigarettes, which means he’s actively going out and giving money to an industry that has been funding pseudoscience and suppressing health initiatives that would prevent people from suffering what he did (i.e. fucking cancer).

Here’s a clue: Tobacco companies don’t actually care about what you do with the cigarettes. Their transaction stops as soon as you put the money in their hands. I could purchase a hundred packs and throw them in the garbage, and the only thing they know is that they got about $600 from me. Way to “stick it to the man”, asshole. You’re not clever.

With the exception of the Isaac’s-girlfriend thing, all of that is in chapters 1-4, by the way. This book turned me off so thoroughly that early.

So by the time the Amsterdam trip rolled around I was already not enjoying this book, but then this thing happened and it was just the final nail in the coffin for me. You probably know what I’m talking about already, but if you don’t… The Anne Frank Museum kiss.

I honestly cannot even articulate how incredibly tasteless and disrespectful I find the entire thing, and not only does that happen, but it’s followed by an r/ThatHappened “and then everybody stood up and clapped!” Seriously?

There are smarter, more well-versed people than me that have covered this topic, so I’ll leave the analysis for why that’s all kinds of wrong to them.

Those are really my big gripes, though there’s a few smaller ones (like Augustus throwing a pre-funeral like are you a psychopath? Why would you put the people you love through that???) that I’m not going to touch on because they weren’t all that instrumental in putting me off. Instead I’ll move on to the external factors.

The Fanbase

So I finished the book, a little miffed at having just wasted my time, and immediately told my friend that I didn’t like it much, and that I would be returning her copy the next day. Feeling pretty meh-to-slightly-negative about it, but whatever, it happens.

I was essentially met with “wow I can’t believe you didn’t get it.” and “Oh well maybe you’ll finally understand how deep it is when you’re older” from my friend. Which is really just one step away from the wow can’t you read?! BS that I’ve been seeing more and more frequently these days. So immediately I was pissed. All that aside, I was sixteen, the target age demographic? If I didn’t ‘get it’ then John Green was doing a pretty piss poor job of conveying what it is.

So I went online seeking something. Either validation that I wasn’t wrong and that I didn’t miss the point, the book just wasn’t great, or an explanation of what this it was that I’d missed. And let me tell you... Spotting a negative opinion of this book was like looking for a unicorn. There were a few, and many of them were met with the same kind of thing I had experienced. Vitriol, insistence that they were stupid or that they didn’t get it (again, with no explanation of what it was), and, apparently, a lot of harassment and threats.

I discovered that John Green’s target audience had a tendency to be… A bit obsessive. Lots of young, impressionable teenagers that were willing to jump on an opposing opinion with zealous outrage. If I had any interest in pursuing any of John Green’s other works or John Green as an internet personality any further, then it died in that moment. Absolutely nothing turns me off like a rabid, spiteful fanbase.

Now by this point I was already in the rabbit hole, and I began encountering a lot of criticisms of John Green and the things he’s said and done in the past. I did not like what I found.

John Green Himself

To be extremely blunt, the guy put such a bad taste in my mouth that it retroactively soured my opinion of The Fault in Our Stars even more. Since this is a post about my opinions on the book, I’m only going to be discussing things that affected my view at the time I read it. These are all things that happened six years ago, and I have no idea what this man has been up to or what he’s said about any of these topics since.

Let’s just get this out of the way… John Green writes the same book over and over. There’s always a quirky, nerdy white boy that is invariably cisgendered, and almost always straight. He is always an outcast with only a few friends, though apparently never directly bullied. He always meets an edgy girl that he falls in love with the idea of. Usually there is a road trip somewhere in there too.

The Fault in our Stars admittedly doesn’t follow the exact same framework, but it’s close enough in a lot of ways. Instead of the Quirky, Too-Smart-For-His-Own-Good cisboi being the PoV character, it’s the love interest (Hazel also fits this description, albeit a female version). Hazel and Augustus are both still outcasts. Hazel is attracted to Augustus because he’s Deep and Edgy and A Little Larger Than Life. The road trip is a flight to Amsterdam.

Looking at the man... Yeah the entire premise starts to come off as some weird self-insert fanfiction. I can feel the “I was a quirky, bullied teen and I wish this is how my high school life had been!” energy coming through absolutely every pore and every molecule of ink. Every character reads like John Green. John Green has written book after book and the main character always appears to be John Green in a slightly different teenage skinsuit.

And that’s fine, I guess. A little lazy, but I guess it’s working for him since he’s making hella bank? It’s certainly not enough to put me off the guy, just not something I’m interested in reading, and not something I find compelling.

What put me off for good were some of his comments. Dude skeeves me the fuck out. I’ll just go over some of the highlights I found at the time, and why they upset me so much when I heard them.

“Nerd girls are the world's most underutilized romantic resource.”

As a nerdy girl that has been stalked and harassed by men because I’m “good girlfriend material” (aka I like video games and traditionally masculine stuff and I’m pretty! I must be a unicorn!), this statement is disgusting.

I don’t care if it was a joke. I don’t care if he wasn’t being serious. This is the kind of shit that men think is a compliment because they think it makes “quirky” girls feel “unique” and “special”, but that “complement” is also an insult. You know why? Because it makes female interests all about how men perceive their sexual or romantic viability.

John Green’s penchant for writing “special” and “unique” girls (while simultaneously shaming “typical” girls, but I’ll get to that in the next point) and depicting them as the ideal woman just reaffirms my feelings about this quote. I think, on some level, John Green has no idea why this is such a bad take. And that’s not even getting into the fact that he called human beings resources. Women are not objects that exist to be a plot device or for your gratification. Fuck right off with that shit.

“She was incredibly hot, in that popular-girl-with-bleached-teeth-and-anorexia kind of way, which was Colin’s least favourite way of being hot”

This is just one quote of many that shames people with eating disorders and weight problems (on both ends of the spectrum, “too fat” and “too skinny”. Another fun one being: “there’s the weird culturally-constructed definition of hot, which means ‘that individual is malnourished, and has probably had plastic bags inserted into her breasts.’")

Know what this line is? It’s called “negging”, and it’s a popular tactic of incels because it works. You make someone seek your approval by intentionally giving them backhanded compliments to undermine their self esteem. The idea is that the more you insult them, the harder they’ll work to try and impress you. It doesn’t work on everyone, but you know who it does tend to work on? Insecure younger people (usually girls). You know who John Green’s target audience is? Insecure teenage girls.

As for the actual substance of the quote… I hate it. He’s shaming a woman for the choices she makes over her appearance. Which are, fun fact, none of his damn business. Also the idea that “skinny” and “anorexic” somehow need to go hand in hand is just wrong, insulting women for a mental health disorder they have no control over is offensive, and using a serious mental health disorder (did you know that anorexia is the most deadly mental health condition?) as an insult is disgusting.

Coming back to my earlier point about shaming “normal” girls, this quote is just the tip of the iceberg. He repeatedly shames women in his books for looking or behaving “typically”, while quirky girls are lauded as the ideal. Quirky girls are “weird and interesting” and normal girls are “boring”. If this was intended as a compliment, it’s a shitty one. If you have to shame one group to make another feel better, it is not a compliment. You are lowering all women when you pull that shit. You teach them that in order to feel good about themselves another group has to be made to feel worse.

And hey, maybe the pretty girl likes her teeth bleached because it makes her feel confident? Why can’t bleached teeth girl and anime t-shirt girl both be beautiful and unique and confident in their own right? Why is it “powerful” for anime t-shirt girl to wear her nerdy clothes, but scorn-worthy for bleached teeth girl to like bleaching her teeth?

What John Green is doing is simply replacing one ideal (skinny pretty girl) with another (quirky cute girl), and then he pretends like his version is somehow “woke” because it’s not based on physical appearance (though all of the women in his books are also physically attractive. Hmmm. Guess “nerd girls” are only “viable resources” when they aren’t hard to look at?).

And trust me, I’ve been down this path. I’ve been taken in by guys who try to make me feel ~special~ by putting down other women, and it leads to absolutely nothing good. It doesn’t make you feel better. It just makes you feel angry and resentful, and that’s not a place you want to be in. In fact, this was a mentality I had recently escaped from around the time I picked up this book. Seeing someone with as much influence as John Green parroting this specific brand of toxic shit to exactly the audience that would be most likely to feed into it? I was never going to be able to like the guy, sorry.

I know some people are able to “separate the art from the artist”, and I might have been willing to do that had the book actually been good… but it wasn’t. So in the end the book just looked worse for all of the author’s shortcomings.

So yeah, in summary: The book was mediocre at best, the author pushed all of my angry feminist buttons, and elements of the fanbase were annoying, condescending, and spiteful. I didn’t like the book in the first place due to the myriad of problems plaguing it, but everything else just made it look so much worse in hindsight.

Anyways, this probably got kind of ranty, but it was cathartic and I did make this blog to vent about dumb stuff. I think this qualifies.

#Personal stuff #TFioS Opinion Piece #Sorry it took so long #I had a lot to say #A little ranty

[ladyloveandjustice]

Fall 2018 Anime Overview: Continuing Series- Golden Kamuy Season 2 and Banana Fish

Golden Kamuy Season 2

If you enjoyed the first season, this is pretty much more of the same, so check out my review of season one to know what to expect.

Though I guess you could say this portion of the season DOES lean even harder into weirdness than the first one did. There’s not many anime where you’ll see two dudes having the time of their lives modeling fashionable outfits made out of human skin, which include...crotch appendages...only in Golden Kamuy y’all.

Interestingly bizarreness tends to overlap with queerness a lot in this season and its hard to know how to feel about it. For instance, it’s definitely an unexpected revelation that dudes are attracted to Lieutenant Tsurumi like whoa. 

IDK apparently he’s a catch. Half of his subordinates are in love with him. It’s handled as comical and of course the dudes are mentally unbalanced weirdos (as is everyone in Golden Kamuy except Asirpa and Sugimoto only sometimes) and one of them dies, but the show is never overtly mean to them either. Nobody acts disgusted about it and when one character observes the attraction, he basically shrugs about it.

 Satoru Noda apparently also REALLY loose with his fixation with dudes muscles with this part of the story, to the point we got the beef-cakiest hotsprings episode I’ve ever seen, which includes an extended fight scene where the male characters were naked throughout. There’s also an entire scene where apparently otter meat is an aphrodisiac that causes the dudes to be really into each other, so they engage in nearly naked sumo wrestling.

This is all clearly supposed to be wacky and funny, but at the same time it’s pretty clear the mangaka must REALLY LIKE drawing these scenes of muscular, naked men, and I support him following his dreams. Also I won’t deny it’s refreshing to see a hot springs episode where not a single woman got objectified, but there was dude oglin’ a plenty. It healed me a little.

I guess while we’re talking about this show and its weird relationship with queerness I should reporting that my prediction was right and the trans woman I mentioned in the previous review did become an ally. Her transness hasn’t been bought up again (though for some reason the subs decided to switch to “he” despite sticking with “she” before) and her role is pretty minor, she does reveal she’s skilled in both cooking and surgery (because she likes dismembering people) and talks about how great it would be to see people murdered every so often, so pretty much more of the same.

And that’s really all there is to say. Golden Kamuy has only gotten weirder and the plot only more convoluted (I’m starting to have a hard time keeping track of the characters tbh), but it’s an entertaining story and there’s still characters with resonance and heart underneath it all (the scene where Sugimoto discusses his trauma from being in the war with Asirpa genuinely tugged a heartstring. These two are still great and have really settled into a kinda of adorable dad-daughter dynamic at this point) and the historical and cultural research that went into this story is still amazing. 

I can tell the anime’s still skipping a lot of the manga (most of volume 7 was completely skipped), but since the English release of the manga is so slow, I’m happy to watch it in the meantime. It helps that the show has a bangin’ soundtrack and and it managed to pull its ginormous cast together for some truly exciting and action packed final episodes that left me eager for more. 

Banana Fish (13-24)

Again, if you read my review for the first half of the show, you can basically expect more of the same, both with the good and especially the bad parts. We do get more downtime with Ash and Eiji’s relationship, and they continued to make me think this show would be so much better if it focused more on these quiet scenes rather than on piling as much trauma on Ash as it possibly can. 

I think this second half did allow me to see what was compelling about Ash and Eiji’s relationship and why it’s stayed with so many people. When Ash explained that he’s finally found someone who will love him without expecting anything in return, so of course he’s willing to do anything for that person, that got me in the heart. Ash is someone who has either been viewed as a threat or someone to exploit- he’s especially used to being treated like he’s nothing more than a body, a receptacle for desires. Eiji isn’t afraid of Ash, or in awe of him, and never asks anything of him other than for him to be okay and by his side. Ash genuinely can just be a dumb teenager with him while he can’t with anyone else. Eiji is an outsider, to Ash’s gang-bangin’ world, to his culture in general, and that allows him to see Ash as he truly is, just a kid who needs to get out of this mess.

The romantic in me really loves that concept, and as an ace person, I especially connect to the underlying implication that Eiji is a romantic partner who isn’t going to demand sex from Ash or try to force him into it. Though Ash’s implied desire to avoid sex almost certainly stems from trauma, I know how he feels in a broad sense. And I think it’s a thing a lot of women can relate to even if they aren’t ace, wanting to find a relationship where they aren’t used or objectified, so it goes back around to how Ash acts as kind of a representation for the anxieties and desires of (likely) the mangaka and many women despite being a male character, and I still find that very interesting. The scene where Ash has a complete breakdown and screams at his rapist while laughing hysterically was really affecting.

So there’s moments of real resonance here, but is it worth the bullshit surrounding it, which includes every single gay man being represented as a rapist, to the point a gay bar is connected to a child porn ring? The nasty implication that gay sex is inherently evil and non-consensual, and Ash and Eiji’s relationship is only okay because they’re not doing it is very strong, and as much as this ace appreciates a romance that doesn’t require sex, I don’t want it THIS way.

There’s also some SERIOUS anti-Semitic bullshit that I can’t believe MAPPA didn’t edit out in a couple episodes. Like it would have been so easy to cut. Also some more pretty rough scenes of black men being murdered (they’re extras this time at least, and the main black dude for this part of the anime miraculously manages to both survive and not be an offensive caricature. Also his name is Cain Blood which is the best name in this story, and possibly ever). 

The second half of the anime also involved some of the more absurd elements worsening. I got REALLY tired of every character commenting on how hot and amazing Ash is like. I GET IT.  Also Ash’s life of being sexually exploited somehow gives him the ability to seduce any man holding him captive, and every bad guy is down for raping a teenage boy, I guess. It’s actually again, a little surreal to see these tropes with a male character. I’m used to seeing hot female characters who’ve been through sexual trauma and have magic seduction powers and are endlessly drooled over...I almost want guys to watch these segments so they can see how uncomfortable it feels when the tables are turned. 

There’s also some really good examples of ACTUAL jarring tone shifts, where the anime really fails to land some of its attempts at a funny, light moment in the midst of really tense and tragic situations. I think it’s possible the manga managed this better, but I can’t imagine the “joke” where Ash has to crossdress and a male doctor gropes him and Ash punches him out cold and his friends chortle and tell him he’s not a gentle woman could ever be done in a non jarring way. Like, I don’t like sexual harassment humor in anime at the best of times, but it’s especially bad when the person who is harassed has been raped more times than he can count.  We’re expected to take that seriously, but not this, because Ash is in a dress? It’s also like, appalling that his friends who are fully aware of his history would laugh about him getting assaulted again. It’s a moment that feels like it comes from a completely different anime. 

So um, yeah. My conclusion is those resonant moments are not worth the bullshit. The ending really cemented this for me. I had an (admittedly overly flippant) reaction that kind of sums my feelings up. Let’s just say I HATE meaningless cruel tragedy for the sake of tragedy, and I especially hate the implication abuse victims can never find happiness. 

I can’t say Banana Fish is an anime I’ll think fondly of or recommend. I do still find the discussion about it interesting, much more interesting than the actual story (as presented in the anime, again, haven’t read the manga), tbh. And I can see the seeds of a good story there, and I can understand why fans would want to see a reboot that truly modernized the story, cutting out the worst stuff and giving it a better ending, while keeping the resonance of the main relationship and the good characters (I really did like Sing, and Yut Lung was interesting. Shorter and Skip both deserved way better. Also Jessica, who at least got to do something besides be victimized at the last minute. One whole female character got a few moments of agency. Hallelujah.) Maybe someday it will happen. 

In the meantime, there’s a bunch of cool articles on Banana Fish that are worth a read. All of the pieces published on animefeminist as well as this post on Otaku, She Wrote are really informative, illuminating, and break down a lot of the issues I found here.

#golden kamuy #banana fish #anime overview #anime #my reviews #body horror cw #fall 2018 anime

[echelonfiction]

Thinking Of You: Chapter 6 - not like usual

AN1: It’s just fanfiction, i mean no disrespect 

AN2:  I had a chapter of brightlights ready  to go but my computer died a bout a monthag and /that/ seemed to be the only thing tht hadnted backed up, enjoy some TOY

Warning: , drugs,  alcohol

Tagging @fyeahproudglambert @meghan12151977 @msroxyblog

(ask to be tagged)

Chapter 6

“Chester, what do I do,”

“Is she actually... oh my god, she said she was exhausted but doesn’t everyone say that,”

“I think maybe... I don’t know,” Mike laughed.

“Maybe most people say it, but those who fall asleep really are,”

“No, I didn’t” I groaned as I opened my eyes. My hands were tucked under my armpits my head was rested on someone’s shoulder I looked up at Mike he looked nervous. “I’m sorry,” I whimpered.

“It’s okay,” he said I sat up holding my own head noticing a drool patch on his shirt. Both our eyes with to it then to each others.

“I’m sorry,” I said again, I could feel my cheeks as the heat rose in them.

“It’s okay,” he said as I grabbed a napkin and his shirt wiping it off. “You must be really spent,” he said I looked up at him. he didn’t seem mad at all.

“That’s not an excuse,”

“Tatiana,” Mike laughed. “It’s not a big deal,” I turned to the table and threw the napkin on it.

“Tatty,” Chester said I looked up to him. His face was soft. “Why don’t you have your dinner and not think about it,” he said. I looked at the food I’d ordered on the table. “It’s really not the end of the world,” he said softly.

“You’re right,” I laughed looking between him and Mike. It really wasn’t an issue, embarrassing but I was fucking tired. “Want some of my fries as an apology?” I asked pulling my food tray to my knee, half leaning it on Mikes' knee as well. He looked nervously at Chester who must’ve told him to in some secret bro code.

“Sure,” Mike laughed.

*

I walked into the bedroom. I’d finally sorted everything out into a good routine, work aside, sometimes I got some free time. Shannon was looking at his phone.

“Are you ready bear?” I asked.

“Yeah, babe, I was just putting some feelers out for something good,”

“Not really a vital, Shan” I smiled.

“maybe” he smiled as he walked to me. “But fun!”

“Right?” I turned to him

“Besides, you’ve been so uptight lately,” he said with a smirk. “It wouldn’t hurt you to lose your mind for a little while.”

*

We got to the club, I don’t know why I felt so uncomfortable here.

“Leopard girl,” I heard and looked over to see Chester’s friend Brad waving us over.

“Hey,” I called back giving each person I knew a hug as I approached. “Guys, this is my amazing boyfriend, Shannon.” I said pulling him into me, “Babe, that’s Chester, Brad, Dave,” I said realizing Mike wasn’t here. Shannon gave a nervous wave to which he got a bunch of hi’s

“yo, Tatty,” Chester called. “This is my wife, Talinda”

“Hey,” Talinda waved.

“Hey” I grinned, nice to finally meet you,”

“You too,” she smiled.

“sit down guys,” Chester said, Joe was grabbing drinks, I’ll get him to grab you some,”

“sure thanks,” I smiled sitting down next to Shannon.

“Where do you know these people from, again,” he asked. “Those loon groups you attend?” I looked into his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I know Chester through the group,” I told “He come through work or Burger King a couple of times when I’ve been studying,”

“Right,” he sighed.

“They’re not loons,” I told calmly. He looked into my eyes.

“Babe,” he laughed.

“I go there too,”

“I know,” he said pulling my hair over my shoulder. “You’re better,” he said kissing my cheek.

“Tatty,” I looked up at Chester, “Joe will bring your drink soon,”

“Sure,” I smiled. “Are you guys nearly set up?”

“Yeah, I think Mike’s just,”

“Chester, there’s a problem with the, oh hey Tatiana,” he said walking over giving me a huge hug. “I’m glad you came,”

“Mike,” I cheered. “Same, this is my boyfriend,” there was an awkward silence before Mike moved and shook Shannon’s hand. “Shan baby, this is Mike,”

“Hey bro,” Mike said happily,”

“Hey,” Shannon said sarcastically before Mike sat next to me.

“So, you’ve been well?” Mike asked.

“Yeah, crazy busy,” I laughed. “But I think I’m starting to find a balance,”

“Getting back up on top of your leopard stuff?”

“slowly,” I said. “I caught up on all the stuff I needed to submit, but need to catch up on the readings and shit,”

“You’re smart, you’ll get there,” he smiled.

“Thanks,” I laughed. “How’s your week been?”

“Decent,” he nodded. I felt Shannon tense a little. “I have to do a sculpture now, from that drawing,”

“Oh, you made it so complex,” I worried grabbing Shannon’s hand holding it tight.

“Yeah, it’s going to be a bitch,” Mike laughed.

“Mike,” Chester called we both looked over. “What was there an issue with?” he asked as Joe started handing out drinks.

“Oh, right,” Mike laughed. “I’ll catch you later, Tatiana, thanks for coming,”

“Sure,” I smiled as I was given my drink. I leaned back into Shannon as he said thanks to Joe. “I always get nervous when I am about to hear new music,” I told Shannon.

“You do?” he half laughed.

“Yeah,” I smirked. “Like what if they’re shit and I have to pretend they’re good,”

“do you pretend I’m good?” he asked looking into my eyes. I had a feeling he was asking about something not music related. But I wasn’t biting. I wanted a good night and I wanted a good night with him.

“I know you’re the best,” I told. Moving closer to him. “But you’re oh-so-naughty,” I kissed him.

“Oh, really?”

“mhmm,”

“You need to show you deserve to know exactly how much,” he said grabbing my thigh kissing me deeply.

“Challenge accepted.” I grinned.

We sat with each other, Shannon and I eventually broke off a little-going to the bar acting kind of like a normal couple for the first time pretty much ever. The band started they were loud and grungy I watched as they sung and really owned the stage.

“wow,” Shannon laughed.

“What I looked over at him

“Your friend has some lungs,’ he admitted, Mike got his turn he put his guitar over his shoulder and started. “wow,” Shannon scoffed. “Homeboy is rapping,” I looked at him. His eyes were dark. He was turning in to dark Shannon who was a fucking jerk.

“I think they’re great,” I said honestly stirring my drink.

“I figured you would,” he said kissing my cheek. “Hey, will you be okay here for a bit?” he asked looking at his phone.

“why?” I snapped.

“I’ve got to go meet someone,” he said looking at me. “Don’t give me that look, I told you I was putting feelers out,”

“I don’t want to do it, Shan,”

“Don’t want us to both have a good night?”

“Yea- “

“Watch your friends play, I’ll be back before you know it,” he said kissing me before walking off. I turned back to my drink and it was almost like the music changed to suit my mood. It went from some kind of regular rock song to the lowest grungiest guitars I’d heard in such a long time. The song hit in just as I looked up the boys were going crazy on stage, Chester started singing something about bliss, ignorance something about being one step closer to the edge, being ready to break, wanting to disappear. I found myself staring at my drink. I felt this song at my core, by the time it got to the bridge it broke for a moment before Chester started screaming ‘shut up when I’m talking to you,’

“Where’s your boyfriend,” I heard I looked up, Chester’s wife.

“Oh, he had to go meet a friend, He said he’d be back,” I smiled.

“Good, come hang,” she said grabbing my arm pulling me over to her table right by the stage, I barely had time to grab my drink, let-a-lone say no. I was now apparently watching the band with her. “They’re good huh?”

“Yeah,” I smiled. “Such an individual style.”

“I agree, I could watch them for hours.” She said I smiled at her as she started watching them, her eyes trained on her husband. He held the stage so well, I watched them all do their thing until my eyes noticed Mike. He was everywhere. All over the place like a bunny on speed, pressing this button and that button all the while still having a great time on stage with his friends. Every time he smiled, I did too.

“Have they been a band long?” I asked.

“Kind of,” Talinda said. “Like not as long as Metallica,”

“Fair,” I nodded.

“Chester moved from Arizona a few years ago to be the singer, they’re really starting to get somewhere,”

“Oh, nice,”

“Mike and the other guys were a band before that, but Chester really meshes with them,”

“I can tell,” I smiled. “Did you move here with him?”

“No, we met here,” She told. “I am also from Arizona but we met here,”

“That’s cool,” I nodded.

“Are you from Cali?”

“Yeah,” I smiled. “My mom’s family is out of Long Beach, my dad out by Modesto,”

“Oh wow,” Talinda laughed.

“My parents thought LA was pretty central,”

“What about Shannon?”

“He’s from Louisiana,” I said. “He and Jared moved here for Jared’s career,”

“Jared?”

“Shannon’s brother, he’s great,” I admitted. “He wants to be an actor,”

“Oh,”

“He’s actually good though,” I laughed. “But I think He’s a better singer,”

“He sings too?”

“Yeah, he and Shan are in a band as well,”

“Oh, that’s awesome” Talinda cheered. “Maybe they can tour with Linkin Park?”

“Linkin Park?” I questioned. Talinda pointed at the stage. “Oh, right,” I laughed. “I’m so dumb,”

“Nah,” she laughed with me. “I don’t think they’ve said it once,”

“Alright, Ladies and Gentlemen,” Mike called from the stage. “We want to thank you all for coming out and being such a great crowd,” his eyes flickered to mine. I think. Probably not. “This is our last song, we’re Linkin Park, this is Papercut,”

“There we go!” Talinda and I said in unison.

“This is a really good song,” Talinda said, I smiled at her and listened. It was pretty intense, fear of the night, paranoia, the words struck something in me, then the way it was arranged at the end. I found myself completely mesmerized by Mike. “He’s cute, huh?”

“Huh?” I looked at her

“Mike, he’s cute,”

“Oh,” I looked at him pretending I hadn’t yet. “I mean, he’s not ugly,” I admitted. “He’s got a nice smile,” I said. “But I have a beautiful boyfriend,” even if I was major pissed at him right now.

“Okay,” she grinned at me like she was keeping a secret.

“Don’t do that,” I warned with a grin.

“Hey, I’m with the singer,”

“I like drummers,” I laughed as they finished up the song. Chester was off stage Talinda was instantly all over him giving him kisses and praise.  The other guys went to their respective partners or guests. Mike came to the table that I was standing up. “That was kind of amazing,” I told him as he at wiping his face with a towel he was given at some point.

“Kind of?” he laughed looking at me out of the side of the towel.

“Yeah, I’d give you the hugs your band was getting but it would be weird,” I admitted.

“Only for you,” he grinned starting to catch his breath. I looked away “Drinks,” he cheered as the bartender brought a tray of what everyone was drinking, including me, which was weird. Chester came over grabbing his drink.

“What’d you think Tatty?” he asked.

“I thought you guys were great,” I admitted. “I don’t know how you guys aren’t touring,”

“We might be soon,” Chester admitted.

“Sweet,” I grinned. “I really liked the last song,” I admitted. “and the shut up screamy song?”

“Shut up screamy song?” Mike laughed.

“You know, the angry one,” I said. “shut up when I’m talking to you,” I sang half-heartedly.

“One step closer,” Mike said.

“Yeah that one,” I smiled “And the last one, the lyrics were hype,” I admitted.

“thanks,” Mike smiled.

“And the rapping over the rockfish sound, it’s pretty epic,” I said he looked in my eyes.

“Thank you,”

“You’re welcome,” I said proudly.

“Where’s Shannon?” he asked looking around.

“Oh, he had to go meet a guy,” I shrugged. “He’ll be back soon”

“Oh,” Mike looked away to Chester who was talking to some guy. I watched his face for a moment, so sticky and sweaty, his hair was up spikey as from the towel just now. The sweat was right down his neck into his shirt, I felt a hard lump in my throat that I had to swallow as I looked away. It doubled back as a slight cough as I took the next mouthful of my drink.

“You good?” Mike laughed.

“Yeah,” I smiled. “Wrong hole,” Mike busted out laughing I don’t know why but I joined in.

“what the actual hell,” He laughed turning to me.

“What?” I laughed.

“you don’t just say that in public,” he laughed.

“you’re dirty,” I said pushing him away.

“I’m dirty?” he exclaimed. “You said it,” I shook my head and went back to my drink as arms went around my waist.

“you look like you’re having fun,” my boyfriend whispered into my ear.

“Even more now you’re here,” I said turning and wrapping my arms around him. Kissing him, but he didn’t take it properly. He pulled back for a moment showing me his tongue with a pill on it. I rolled my eyes and kiss him anyway. Taking the pill with a chaser of his kiss. “Babe, you should’ve stayed for longer, the set was awesome,” I said bringing Mike back into the conversation.

“I heard the start,” he said. “It was pretty good,” he said.

“Thanks, Man!” Mike said offering Shannon a high-five which somehow turned in to a high-five hug over the top of me.

“You guys been playing together long?” Shannon asked.

“Few years with Chester,” Mike told, repeating the story Talinda just told me, a moment later Chester had joined Shannon and Mike in a conversation of band talk. Shannon wrapped his arms around me but wasn’t paying attention to me. So, I turned mine to Talinda. I was enjoying being out and not being completely bat. Shit. Crazy.

#Shannon Leto #chester bennington #mike shinoda #jared leto #linkin park #fanfic #fan fic writing #fan fiction #fan fic #music #echelon #30 Seconds To Mars #Thirty Seconds to Mars #echelon fiction #30secondstomars

[shivroy]

🌟 for seetsu!

-He has a very blasé outlook on life, which is fun and much-needed when he’s with his friends (who are basically urnamm’s gang and zander and jordan) and when he’s alone it turns into complete apathy towards most things. Him being isolated has led to major problems in his life, such as self-harm and eating disorders which he is struggling to get over. His friends are helping him in every way that they can, and they are surprisingly compassionate for a group of avidly swearing annoying boys who dare each other to put a hose on a steep road in the winter and then tape themselves to a skateboard and other stuff of equal stupidity 

-Although his isolation has led to a lot of bad stuff, it did cause him to mess around with a synthesizer and he got pretty darn good at it. He also loves messing around with midi fighters and soundboards (when he’s feeling sad he likes to make loops like this and just mess around with that, but when he’s on the happier side he makes stuff sort of like shawn wasabi. one of his favorite songs was when he remixed sound clips of a fight between torixi and jordan and the beat was jordan going “OOF” from when he tripped over the carpet when trying to lunge at tor, tor’s laughter make some good background noise and messing with the maniacal melody of that was very fun for him. he also discovered that the words “(Your body looks like a) pierogi that exploded in the microwave” has a good tempo. thanks for being so awful, tor, what fine-tempo’d words indeed.) He posts a few of his songs on the troll version of youtube, but he doesn’t get very many views. He did the ultimate overkill and managed to get internet from other dimensions, and because of that he’s a big fan of @brinytrolls‘s troll Sarkan’s channel though! He probably secretly wishes he could meet Sarkan and one day make him like inro/outro music, but he doubts it’ll ever happen. Who knows if it will >:3c 

-Related to that, him and his friends like to do dumb little band practices, and seetsu passionately denies the fact that a synthesizer, saxophone, timpani, cowbell, bassoon and detroi occasionally falling off the couch rhythmically does not sound very good. 

-Being in matesprits with zander is one of the best things that has happened to seetsu. He really believed he was aromantic for a long time but it was mostly because he lives in an apartment complex with a bunch of other snotty arrogant goldblood kids who put thumbtacks outside his door and are incredibly annoying. Even though zander is weird and off-putting to newcomers, seetsu really gets him and they make each other somewhat less creepy. Somewhat. Seetsu enjoys making robotic things with zan, and he is responsible for most of the programming for elsibot, which was so good that it became fully sentient, so… he’s very good. They also make stupid crap all the time. 

-He also gets along with teuksi and vaydra quite well, because they enjoy doing random math problems and playing video games together even though all of them are not able to see very well (or in teuksi’s case at all). They don’t care at all if they are called nerds. 

-He’s not bothered by most people, but detroi really annoys him. His constant purpleblood blather bothers him sort of when it’s just mindless talk detroi says wehn he;s high out of his mind, but when he’s saying all sort of stuff that puts down basically all bloods other than purple he almost can’t deal with it. At that point he begins to understand why jordan is so bothered by his black feelings - with a lot of younger trolls they’re really uncontrollable and awful. Seetsu can’t tell if he actually despises detroi or despises him and simultaneously wants to make out with him. Unfortunately, when zander is back at his hive which is pretty far from the CSH, seetsu gets cold at night and likes to sleep in the vicinity of someone else, and as you all know the first commandment in the purpleblood holy book is “thou shalt not sleep without holding onto a motherf***er” (so sorry) so seetsu ends up being with detroi a bunch. Dunno how that stupid frosty-veined highblood will help his notably warm-blooded self, but it’s the thought (or idiotic behemoth beside him) that counts. 

-Although he hates people pointing it out, he does talk in a very individual way of talking. It’s less of a lisp, more like how someone sounds when they have retainers in (kind of like how Sam from Moonrise Kingdom talks if people have seen that if you have you get what I’m talking about). Not exactly elegant, but not gross or anything, just particular. He also says a bunch of things to annoy people, such as he intentionally says “libary” and “pichur” when elsibeth is around because she will lose her mind, and he refers to anything plural as puppies, which can be massively unpleasant in certain circumstances. 

-He is a derse player! He sometimes thinks he should have been prospit, but then he remembers “oh yeah I am the one who locked myself in my room for three days and ate ranch Bugles and watched all of stranger things nonstop.”

-His strife specibus is a bunch of hexagonal light canons that he controls using his psiionics. I’ll draw those sometime so people can get a better idea of them. Speaking of that, his psiionics are pretty shoddy before the game and the most he uses them for is to lift half-empty bags of chips so he doesn’t have to get up and flick pencils at the back of people’s heads to agitate them. I bet you can guess who that always works on. (jerbert)

-And last but not least… He shaves his head about once a month because then it shows less when he decides to skip taking a shower for the eleventh time in a row. It’s quite a ritualistic process for him. It also helps keep his alarmingly bristly hair in check. It’s pretty pokey if he doesn’t shave it for a while! 

#JESUS CHRIST IM SO SORRY I WROT E TOO MUCH THIS IS A PROBLEM #asks #long post / #really long post / #seetsu leinid #i didnt know i had that much to say but i guess i did #that was fun though! ASKS ARE STILL VERY OPEN #IF YOU WANT TO SEE ME YELL FOR A LONG TIME SEND ONE IN!!! #I WILL DO IT

[zwishy-gift-registry-wishli-blog]

The Tradition of giving the Worst Gifts needs to be Broken

There is you who puts in all efforts and thoughts on a gift for someone months before the occasion. Not a single shopping site left which you haven’t checked up. There is not a single blog on ‘Best gifts‘ which you haven’t looked up for those ‘awesome ideas’. You pay attention to what people might need or want as a gift. You are the generous gift giver who expects the same amount of thoughtfulness from others when it comes to receiving gifts.

And then there’s a person within your social circle who is the salt to your coffee. This person does not fret much about what gift to give. Maybe he walks into a shop for ‘the gift’ minutes or a night before meeting you.

There’s a point one percent chance that such a gift turns out to be actually liked by the receiver. But the remaining percentage leaves the receiver with a dumb, lame, undesirable gift in their possession.

You might have surely been a victim of or a witness to one such ‘Worst gifts’. It can be a relative who thinks you’re still twelve at twenty-one. It can be a friend who does not bother about your likes, as long as he is able to be get done with this ritual of giving gifts on certain occasions (because giving is exhausting and receiving is not). It can be you who does not realize what occasion it is when buying your mom her birthday gift.

Still a kid for them:

You drop a hint at your aunt that you need new shoes with all those office-outing plans going on. And this hint because your birthday is weeks before that outing. So your aunt being the sweetest and thoughtful angel that she is, gifts you a big box of something. Your smile widens when you actually get me a pair of… wait… a pair of Teddy bear shoes? Your eyes swell up at the sight. Now it’s you who will have to spend money on real shoes.

It’s her birthday and she is off duty:

We tend to gift moms stuff like Teflon nonstick cookware for her kitchen, even on her birthday. She may tell you straight-off that it’s her birthday party, not her housewarming party. And you are left awkward realizing what all you could’ve given her that were not cooking related.

Technically your birthday isn’t yours to plan:

You may have your birthday planned weeks before. So you pack up quickly after office and rush to your apartment for a night of Netflix, Nachos and drool-ing sleep. Just as you are unlocking the door you may be welcomed by a bunch of people with stupid caps on shouting at the top of their lungs, “Surrrprise!!!”

Yeah. You are…

So guys, just because you like something does not mean everyone else would too.

No, you don’t need to go overboard but a little sensitivity towards someone’s likes and dislikes could actually make their day! So toss a little effort with generosity and there! yours will never make it to the list of ‘worst gifts’.

#Best Gifting Ideas #Best Gifts #Best Gifts India #Thoughtful Gifts #Worst Gifts