#and I mean they put the handprint back on during the love confession at this point that one’s just textual we’re talkin BAIT

[sunforgrace]

you guys please understand they were going to say “CASTIEL’S PERSONAL HEAVEN” and paper the walls like a teen girls room with pictures of dean pictures of dean’s face PLASTERED onto the bodies of beefcakes all while cheek to cheek blares out. as brought to you by fucking metatron

#cutting an I love you because your actor who’s been kinning this guy for years thinks is out of character: #cutting part of me always believed you’d come back because same actor thinks that’s too gay: #cutting castiel’s personal half naked dean winchester heaven because tptb go hey maybe this is too gay and homophobic. as a bit: #I understand why we’re picking handprint. but I will put forth the argument that this is the bait rounds and that overall #the handprint is less bait and more so the weird boy besties behavior #listen you know I LOVE the handprint. but in terms of genuine great american queerbait #and I mean they put the handprint back on during the love confession at this point that one’s just textual we’re talkin BAIT #closest to bait here I’d argue is the fact they had anna palm it while having sex with dean #like actively pausing the sex scene to just show anna gripping it and dean reacting #but again that’s more. weird. than bait I’d say. Simply because that transcends bait into what the fuck are you guys doing #but at this point cas was hot off the scene by season 9 they KNEW what they were doing and they were DOING it maliciously in a POST YOURE #NOT CRAZY TWEET WORLD

[casgod]

My take on the destiel confession scene, it's gonna be long, you've been warned.

So, everyone praises misha for his performance and also cas' declaration. I do agree misha did the best he could and did a good job on his part, however I have to admit, I don't like that scene at all.

First of all, the cinematography is orrible, I'm sorry, all those cuts and shit (I'm not an expert by any means so this is just my personal opinion). We've been fed iconic destiel eye-effing and too long stares for 12 years and during a freaking love confession we get zero of that and an awkward back and forth between dean and cas..... why??? Also I'm having a problem with the part where cas pushes dean out of the way, maybe I'm the stupid one but it seems very off, like cas pushes him to the right but he falls to the left?? Idk this might be me being dumb.

Also, I hated the bangs on the door interrupting the moment, we know Billie is after them, you don't need to remind us.

Let's now talk about the actual content.

So, I don't like at all the way cas explains the empty deal to dean, it seems unprompted and an awkward "previously on". Imo it is also a bit out of character, since we know cas acts without really caring to explain to others what his plans are, as long as he believes he's doing the right thing. So why confess the empty deal? I believe they just put it there for the audience, knowing many might be watching the last episodes of the show without having watched it consistently. And I get it, but I personally believe it was badly executed.

Moreover, I believe it would have been more in character and even more heartbreaking if cas just confessed without mentioning the deal. At that point, dean would have believed cas was just saying his last words since both of them would be dead soon. That way we could have had the same wordless reaction by dean, but for different reasons, focusing on cas' love confession rather than the deal.

Also, they could have cut the "happiness is just in being it .. just in saying it" bcs honestly thats bullshit and everyone knows that. They needed to find a way to justify making the confession the least gay possible. Like I don't get why they tried to explain what's going on, just let him confess and once he's taken we can figure out ourselves what happened!!

I personally believe it should've gone a bit like this: confession part all the same (no mentioning of the deal), still "why does this sound like a goodbye" "because it is" bcs dean understands something's going on BUT doesn't know what it is (also still teary dean because I liked that part)! Then cas says "i love you" and reaches for dean's face/hand and in that moment billie enters and he instead pushes dean away (we keep the beloved handprint) and he's taken by the empty, with Billie. That would have been a real plot twist! Bcs we didn't know it was coming from the start (which we did in the actual scene).

They didn't even have to make them touch romantically but at least the intention from cas should have been there imo. Idk I'm not a writer so there are probably so many better ways to rewrite the scene, but you get my point I hope.

Lastly, without mentioning the deal during the confession, dean would've been forced to talk about it later with the others to figure out what happened. Then Jack could've explained the deal, and Dean would have been hit with the realisation that the "I love you" was cas' true moment of happiness (imagine the doubled shock value!). That way, we would've had an actual conversation about cas after his death (which we deserved) without it being dean having to open up about the "love" part, but making it as trying to figure out why the empty took cas.

After that realisation, we could've had dean shut down and never mention it again (and the crying scene again bcs why not), but at least it wouldve been somewhat justified! Bcs let's be real, the reason we got little to no mention of cas after 15x18 is because they didn't want to confront dean's feelings for cas (didn't want to deny or confirm reciprocity, also the reason I believed they killed dean off in the end).

Anyways, if you actually read my whole rant, thank you! I would love to hear other opinions about it/ how the confession should have gone according to you.

#destiel #spn #supernatural #castiel #deancas #dean winchester #cas #spn finale #spn 15x18 #15x18 #15x18 despair #supernatural 15x18 #dean x castiel #cas and dean #dean #dean and cas #deanxcas #cas x dean #casdean #castiel winchester

[thetiredstuff]

I need to make a post outlining everything that proves they're gonna make Dean say I love you back 

- Meghan said that Bobo wrote the love confession scene as one of the first scenes when the writers came back for season 15

-And you can very clearly tell that there are a bunch if callbacks and moments leading up to the love confession scene

- Dean and Cas relationship has literally been plot line A this entire season.

- They have multiple times shown what happens to Dean when Cas dies: he loses his will to live and eventually will end up killing himself

- The freaking parallels in episode 18 alone: Charlie's gf Stevie getting snapped (dying), Sam's girlfriend Eileen getting snapped, and then Dean's best friend dying???? Like no it only makes sense if it's Dean's boyfriend dying

- Jensen has said that after he learned about the ending that he made certain acting choices reflecting that. What else could have influenced (lol) Jensen's acting if not Dean and Cas ending up together

- Jensen and Jared joking during a con when a fan asked about ‘Samstiel” and Jared answered “Sam has better taste” and Jensen just nodding in the background to then say “Dean has no taste, clearly” At that point, Jensen was aware of Cas’ love confession.

- Misha has not only said Cas is gay he has also said "Destiel is canon" if Dean does tell his truth and it's unrequited, Misha would never ever go out of his way to say Destiel is canon only for us to then be extremely distraught two weeks later. 

- They would never ever ever go for the “bury your gays” trope knowing how much backlash that would create and knowing what an injustice it is. Bobo is a gay man himself (which of course can still mean that he does that trope) but what’s more significant during the virtual panel and meet & greet Misha had today, he mentioned the “bury your gays” trope multiple times and even asked a fan what the reaction was within the fandom. I doubt they would go for that trope if not to spin it upside down and have him come back.

- Cas' end: Rich has talked a bit about how monumental they knew this scene was. Together with Jensen and Misha, they came up with the bloody handprint on Dean's jacket. You don't put such callbacks in there if it's an unrequited love

- Cas was able to speak his truth when confessing his love, now it’s Dean’s turn. 

- Cas is gonna come back in episode 20. I am 100% sure of that. And Eileen is gonna come back and end up with Sam. The brothers are gonna part ways. It would make no sense to have Sam go with his love and then Dean and Cas split ways or then go together without that love being requited. In real life, you obviously don't owe someone your love, but this is a show where nothing is just written because. It all has a purpose. There is no way they wrote that love scene to then have an unrequited love.

- And most importantly: “the one thing I want is something I know I can’t have” Why would they put that there if they aren’t gonna answer it? It is meant to make the viewer question “well what does he want?” and you don’t kill off a character with such a beautiful and significant death by leaving one question unanswered. Unless it’ll be answered later on.

-Also just gonna say, it makes no sense for them to have Cas going to the Empty as his ending. Because we’ve seen Cas escaping from it thanks to Jack. We’ve literally just seen jack blow up the Empty. Like no. He’s gonna come back. 

#this is incoherent jumble but i needed to write it down #destiel #I love my husbands #spn #supernatural #dean #dean winchester #spn spoilers #15x19 #15x20

[meridiansdominoes]

Curious question!What do you picture Beta squad to look like? I mean, not their armor but their faces. I suppose Fives still has his tattoo and goatee, but what about the other Dominos?And the Teth bois too! I'd really love to listen how you picture them to be And does Kix still has his famous haircut? Jesse and Hardcase have their tattoos?(if they do, how does Jesse feel about having the Republic logo tattooed now that they know it's lead by a traitor?) I just thought it would be fun to know ❤️

OKAY. Lots of people have asked me what Beta squad looks like, and I avoided answering it because (confession time) I never really settled on those headcanons (I KNOW IM HORRIBLE) but I have finally taken the time to gather all my half-brained ideas together, so here’s a list!

Domino squad:

Fives- looks he same. Same goatee and the lil’ 5 tattoo of course. He likes it to much to change it. Same armor too, but phase 1 because he’s not ARC right now.

Echo- He’s clean shaven, like he was in the show. He’s not a big fan of facial hair because it annoys him sometimes. Also same phase 1 armor because he’s similarly not an ARC right now. The handprint on his chest is a little blurred (but still very obvious) because it was placed there by multiple hands instead of just one.

Cutup- He’s got some stubble going on, always. He likes the texture. His hair is cut a little shorter than the rest of them. His armor, as some might already know, has Ahsoka’s markings painted on the front of his helmet, and he has a couple other markings that he painted before he settled on a good design: he puts five little dots, in the pattern of a die or domino, on each of his shoulders to represent his squad, and a blue stripe runs down the center of his chest.

Droidbait- He’s got the standard clone hair cut lol and is also clean shaven. On each side of his helmet there’s a little target (like your firing spot in video games heh) from his name, and then he’s slowly working on filling up the rest of his armor with tally marks from the droids he’s killed. He doesn’t know how many there are exactly and doesn’t plan on counting them, but there’s a lot by this point.

Hevy- He’s still got those little cheek tattoos that you can spot in Rookies if you look close enough, they’re kind of hard to see but they’re there. He’s grown out a lil beard on his chin. His armor is decorated with a flame pattern that reminds him of his second success on Rishi.

Kix, Jesse, and Hardcase- look like how we know them in the show, ha, I’m not changing that! Of course Kix still has his lightning-bolt haircut. Jesse gets the Republic cog during a drunken dare anyway, so it really doesn’t bother him that the Chancellor is a traitor. The Chancellor doesn’t represent the entire Republic either so he’s okay with it

Teth bois:

Del- is an older clone, his hairline is juuuust starting to recede a little bit but it’s more from stress than it is age. He always has a bit of stubble. His armor is fairly standard, it has the normal 501st blue stripes down the arms and legs.   

Coric- There are chevrons running down his arms and legs, and then the medic patch on his shoulder. He’s got the normal clone haircut and is clean shaven.

Nax- has a buzz cut. There’s a tattoo behind his right ear that says “00110001 00110011 00111000″, it’s binary for 138, or the number of men lost during the Teth mission. He’s technically a mechanic, but his current position as a member of Torrent Company means that he sees more firefights than engines. His helmet has diagonal slashes on the sides, but they don’t intersect the t-visor. the rest of his armor just has the standard 501st blue markings.

Attie- *sobs even though it’s my own fault* He’s got the normal haircut, and is clean shaven. His helmet has a tiny blue sun on the forehead. The same symbol is on his chest, and his gauntlets are completely blue. 

Zeer- Is bald, but he does have a beard. He has a massive tattoo on his back of a Corellian banshee bird, a bird of prey that uses a piercing shriek to drive it’s prey out of the undergrowth. Zeer likes to compare that to the purpose of a heavy gunner during battle. His chest plate is completely blue. There are two dots above the T-visor of his helmet, right above where his eyes would be.  

Other assorted characters:

Flak- has an undercut. The Republic cog is stamped into the side of his helmet to identify him as a pilot, but the rest of the design is the reverse of Appo’s–it’s an arrow pointing upwards. He’s also got tattoos on his knuckles, aurebesh characters that spell “free bird” (there’s nothing on his thumbs).

Tipper- shorter haircut, and a bit of stubble. He’s got blue swirls running down his armor to represent his tangle with the blue shadow virus.

Byte- He’s got a little tattoo on his temple, near the spot where Fives has his lil 5, but Byte has a tiny replica of the Coruscant Guard symbol (Guard pride, and all that.) He’s got a buzz cut. His armor has red stripes at the wrists and ankles, and his chestplate has a jagged line down the center.

Okay, that’s all I’ve got for now! I hope it makes a little bit of sense and satiates y’all’s curiosity haha!

#dominoes #dominoesheadcanons #domino squad #beta squad

[writtenmemxries]

hey elena! just curious on your opinion on this since we r all clowning again rn.... :o) how do you think castiel is going to be saved?

Hey anon, thank you for asking! :)

First of all, I love how we as a fandom collectively agreed that Cas is actually coming back, not even the slightest doubt about it. And for this reason I love the fact that you asked HOW I think Cas is gonna be saved and not IF I believe he’s gonna be saved at all. Which, of course, I do.

It would bring a perfect ending to Dean and Castiel’s story, in the sense that it’s symmetrical, circular: Castiel is rescued from the Empty - saved from an eternity of nothingness, in which angels and demons dream about their regrets over and over again, as Ruby put it in 15x13 - in the same way that Castiel has gripped Dean tight and raised him from perdition when they first met. The beginning and the end.

We already know that they’re going heavy with the parallels this season. The handprint is a big one, for instance, even if it wasn’t the writers’ idea, but it was Jensen, Misha and Richard who discussed it. It’s not the only one, though: they brought back the whole Purgatory arc, they’ve been paralleled to Saileen as a couple multiple times now, not to talk about the whole “losing your loved one” trope in 15x18, in which Charlie, Sam and Dean all lost someone, and I think it’s 100% sure that both Charlie and Sam are getting their love interests back next episode, Thanos 2.0 ain’t gonna win, sooo... why not Dean, too? ;)

The point is: this is not the end of Cas’ arc. He thinks it is, because he sacrificed himself for the love of his life, he experienced a moment of true happiness and he’s now content with his choice, entirely dictated by free will. We’ve never seen Cas cry and smile as he did during his confession, which made this a very emotional, poignant and bittersweet moment, and it makes the audience think that it’s over for him, because it was indeed a perfect ending.

BUT

Surprise surprise, it isn’t!!!

Death’s never been their endgame and it certainly won’t be now. It can’t. Moreover, Dean didn’t get a say in the matter. He saw Cas disappear in front of his eyes and he didn’t even had the time to process anything. So no, I don’t think they’re done with it. The development of their relationship is not over yet. Whether Dean reciprocates or not (of course he does, look at him, c’mon!!!), they HAVE to address it. And you think Dean is gonna leave the poor guy in that place full of despair and not fight with everything he has to bring him back home? Ummmmm...

What I find interesting about 15x18 by the way (besides the obvious stuff, of course), is how Jack got sent to the Empty by Billie, basically exploded there but survived, and “made it loud”, as the Empty itself said. Does it mean that everybody is awake or waking up now? I mean, it would be kind of hard to be asleep in a place so loud, wouldn’t it? And if they are waking up, it would be difficult to fall asleep in a place so noisy, so what if Cas is awake, too, now? :)

Ready to annoy an ancient cosmic being so much to be sent back again

Also, we know that Lucifer is coming back, although I don’t think we know the circumstances, do we? Like, will he come back to Earth from the Empty, or will we see him in the Empty, where he’s supposed to be?

Still, I think he might play a role in the whole rescuing Cas business. Otherwise, why would he even come back on the show in the first place? What do we need him for? He’s annoying who cares about him we as a society are past the need of Lucifer on spn.

I know I haven’t exactly answered your question and I just rambled a lot, buuut I’m not very good with theories apparently!!!

Still, I appreciated the ask! :)

#anon asks #elena answers #spn speculation #spn 15x18 #destiel #kind of meta

[edwardsshinyvulva]

my half-baked take on the Destiel conspiracy

I know I’m embarrassingly late to the party, but I just watched Sarah Z’s video on the Supernatural finale episode, and I feel like the “lost Destiel episode” conspiracy is focusing on all the wrong things. Almost all the “evidence” covered in her video has perfectly normal explanations, but things that don’t have great explanations seem weirdly under-emphasized, at least in her telling of the conspiracy.

This is gonna be long lol

Mostly I’m confused as hell about this interview with Jensen Ackles (which I screenshot directly from Sarah’s video because I couldn’t find it online, but I trust Sarah to have good sources):

His excuse for filming the Destiel love confession scene, and ONLY the Destiel love confession scene, is super flimsy?? Why was this extremely weird interview completely glossed over??? (I mean, I know why Sarah didn’t focus on it, because she’s not exactly one to theorize about conspiracies based on “vibe”, which is fine lmao. But if people in the fandom were focusing on it, Sarah would have probably put up some screenshots of posts about it)

I'm definitely not inclined to think Jensen ships Destiel at all, he seems like a typical straight dude who's creeped out by lgbt fans. Asking a crew member to film the Castiel love confession scene “so he can look back on it” does not fit with anything else he's said about Destiel. I would have expected him to do that with scenes with Sam and Dean together, or more of the crew, if his weird "I wanted to remember this from MY perspective" excuse is true. Even if he doesn't ship Destiel, that almost makes me think he predicted that important parts of the scene were going to be cut out and he thought it was sketchy. Like why would this outwardly anti-Destiel actor film ONLY the Destiel love confession scene on his phone, and then talk about it in an interview with a really bizarre excuse? And people have been begging him to just POST THE VIDEO, which would clear up the entire conspiracy, so why hasn’t he just posted it??? If posting it would end the controversial conspiracy, you’d think CW and the cast would want that, right?

Jensen’s social media activity was also super weird during this time, at least as it’s portrayed in Sarah’s video. He didn’t (or at least didn’t for a long time, idk) post a like “finale episode farewell” tweet or instagram post, which is super fuckin weird, and he never liked or responded to Misha’s tweets saying the conspiracy wasn’t true. One of the things he did do online at this time was to comment on one of the costume designer’s posts, which was a picture of Cas’ bloody handprint on Dean’s jacket. It was a generic comment about missing the cast and crew and whatever, but the costume designer didn’t even tag him in the post, which means he ostensibly went looking for it, and he didn’t seem to comment on the other cast’s posts about the end of the show. I’m so confused!!!

Its so fucking ironic that, for me, basically the entire Destiel conspiracy is hinging not on Misha, who has always been a huge Destiel supporter and by far the most communicative with the fans about the entire show, but on Jensen, the one who publicly shamed fans multiple times for bringing up whether dean could be bisexual at con panels.

I’m not saying the conspiracy is true, at least not exactly the way the fans theorized it was. I’m just saying SOMETHING seems fishy here, something is being hidden, but idk what it is and im just ???

#destiel #spn #supernatural #destielgate #also wtf was up with the #rancid nuts #lmao #jensen ackles #misha collins #spn finale

[ravenstyx]

A Spider’s Web

Rated: M/A for violence, drug and alcohol use and addiction, sexual content

Summary: A collection of inter-connected one-shots in the Cardinal Universe, for now, exploring the relationships in the aforementioned story. Jerza, Miraxus, Miraza, Gruvia, Nali, Gildarts x Eileen, Eileen x Acnologia. I reserve the right to add in others as I please. 

Also found HERE

Running narcotics in the city was never easy. Doing it for Tante Eileen while trying to get on her good side again was even worse. Juvia wasn't a runner. Not by trade. She was a singer. She was a server. She was a girl that did her best work on her back. She was Eileen's whipping girl because Tante Eileen wasn't sure if she was still loyal to Tante Kyouka and Juvia… she didn't know, either.

Unlike her mother, Tante Erza was nice enough. She didn't put Juvia down. She didn't swear. She didn't do much of anything, really, except scheme and lay with the bartender and escort Mirajane. Did Erza suspect that Juvia didn't know what they whispered about in the room next door when the lights got low and their clothes came off? Perhaps not. Tante Erza was good, sure, but she was new. Juvia collected her secrets and she kept them because that's what good whores did when they wanted to stay off the map long enough to figure out which route was the best route.

Today, Juvia took the shipment stamped with a brown recluse, the same spider that was tattooed on her neck, to the old automotive shop on Jesper Street. It wasn't the most inconspicuous meetups she could think of but Tante Eileen and thusly Tante Erza never cared much about what their runners faced. Let the dogs sniff out the holes for the coyotes, why not, while the wolves sat on their thrones.

She came out of the woods on foot in a pair of shin-high boots and tights, the mornings were cold now, and adjusted the backpack on her jacket-clad shoulders. It wasn't a very big shipment that she carried. Hardly worth the run at all, really, considering the kinds of deals Somnium usually made. There was a time when Juvia was more suspicious of the make work like this but it had been a long time between fixes. Tante Eileen was holding out on her and so was everyone else on her orders. Aside from that, though, Aria started school a few weeks ago and Juvia wanted to get her something nice. There had been a purple Sparkle My Little Pony backpack that had caught her eye the last time Juvia had dared to take her into Costco, brave only because Kyouka was by her side and Gray was in jail for a murder he hadn't committed but had confessed to, and she would give anything to have the thirty dollars it cost to buy Aria that bag. Anything.

Tante Eileen promised that it would be purchased and delivered; she just had to do this job.

Juvia checked her surroundings before she stepped foot on the broken concrete driveway. There was nothing but highway and treeline for as far as the eye could see; northern forest that was good for blueberry growing, northern highway that carried transport trucks full of food and supplies bound for the northern territories. Nothing else. No conspicuous cars in the parking lot, no cars on the road. She hiked the bag high again and scampered across the lot, feeling like the criminal she pseudo-was. Prostitution was legal in Magnolia. Drug-running was not.

No one stopped her as she skidded to a halt beneath the Imperial Automotive awning. The white plaster building threw sunlight and blinded her. She held her breath and her backpack as a huge Dempster's Bread transport rumbled down the highway, trying to make herself one with the building. When it had passed, she let out all the air in her lungs and tried the man door for the ancient oil shop. It opened with a squeak and a groan. Dust fell from the ceiling and went into her hair. Juvia held off on brushing it out, focusing instead on surveying the building.

There were tired lift jacks, a tire or two, some dusty bottles of engine oil, grease stains on the floor, a grease gun, the tube descending from the ceiling in a coiled mess. To the right was another man door and beyond that was a desk that had, at one point, been made of plywood. Now it was sagging and rotted through, hard northern winters taking their toll on everything. She breathed in mildew and crisp autumn air. She breathed in aftershave. Juvia was tense even before turning but upon doing so and seeing his gnarled and exasperated expression, she thought her heart would explode. She backed away from him quickly even as Gray grabbed her wrist. It wasn't the first time he'd taken her hard enough to bruise.

"Ow!" she chirped and Gray loosened his hold on her immediately, as he hadn't last time when he wanted her attention and all she wanted to do was get away from him. It seemed he was ashamed of the handprint he left on her arm; Juvia took advantage of his contriteness and twisted out of his hold. She didn’t get far, turning into the chest of his partner. He pushed her back roughly; Gray was there to keep her from falling. Juvia felt all of the fight leave her system in a weak whoosh that could have been defeat. She would not cry. Would not. It was a close thing as Gray stripped her of the backpack she wore. He rooted through the contents right then and there in his black Narcotics uniform, moving methodically and professionally. She almost remembered why she loved him then. He was so detached. She almost remembered why she hated him, too.

"Where's the rest of it?"

"That's all," Juvia replied.

“This is a long run from the city for that’s all.”

“But it’s true.”

Gray scowled up at her, trying to see the lies in the truth. Juvia licked her dry lips and Gray thought he latched onto a nervous twitch. "Get the team to search the area," he told his partner. "Try to dig up her car and any associates she brought with her."

“On it.”

"It was just me," Juvia said. “And my car is empty.”

Gray ignored her like she thought he would. "I'll get her loaded and bring her down to the station."

"Yeah." His partner made to do his bidding and Juvia was strapped with a pair of handcuffs that were this side of tight. She bit back her complaints.

Imperial Automotive's door slammed and Gray got on his phone, a huge satellite contraption because there wasn't much signal so far north. He called in the bust to head office, then got on the phone to whoever had dropped him and his team off there likely hours and hours before. When he hung up, he grabbed Juvia by the elbow and corralled her toward the exit.

"You're a lot more cooperative than my last bust," Gray murmured when she hurried her steps to match his long ones.

"Should I fight?" Juvia returned.

"I don't want for things to get ugly."

Hilarious. "They are already."

He stepped out into the sunshine and the light was kind to him. There were a few crow’s feet by the corners of his eyes and his mouth had worry lines, there was the odd shot of grey in his hair that hadn't been there before Aria was born four years before, but he was handsome. Heartbreakingly so. Juvia turned her eyes out toward the highway where a black Yukon roared over the northern road to their position. It was safer that way. Not looking at him. When the truck stopped, Gray opened the back door and ushered her inside. She wished he'd waited for another vehicle but he climbed into the front seat. There was a cage separating them and he remained facing forward while one of his men drove but Juvia had a clear view of the back of his head. She looked at him shamelessly and wondered at all of the things she'd somehow lost.

The MPD was as monstrous as ever. A building made of old and new. Skylights kept it bright when the floors and walls were made from deep wood and black tile, the bustle of every day traffic kept it alive. Juvia counted the railings as she ascended the stairs to the interrogation room. Fifty-seven. Eyes were on her, some from the public, some from the police department, men and women that had seen plenty of criminals come and go. Not her, though. She'd bet she and Gray were the talk of the town. Narcotics frontman Gray Fullbuster and his renegade addict baby momma. She'd spent years sliding under the radar during Kyouka's rule at Somnium, or Dreaming Tree as it was colloquially known on the streets, a bordello and a front for one of the biggest cartels in Magnolia, second only to Acnologia's Prodigure, but here she was, tripping on her feet, and why? Someone had ratted over a small shipment of fentanyl.

At the top of the stairs, Captain Milkovich stopped their progress, her hand on Gray's arm just a little too intimate. Juvia had seen enough to know when two people were fucking but trying to keep it secret. Her voice was caramelized sugar; Gray leaned into her subconsciously. Juvia hated her immediately for the way she wrapped him up around her finger without doing a damn thing. She hated her further for the way that she had everything together. For the way that she saw Aria more than Juvia did. For the way that she was…

Better.

In every sense of the word. Just better. Ultear Milkovich didn't stare at the fentanyl patches on Tante Eileen’s desk for hours fighting the urge to stick one on her skin just so she could feel nothing at all. Just because she'd done it too many times before and couldn't seem to stop. It didn't chew at her. Ultear Milkovich didn't kneel at Eileen Belserion's feet, hoping that the Tante was feeling charitable that day and would not stick her downstairs with Tante Kyouka—not Tante, Juvia reminded herself, not anymore, just Kyouka. Disgraced Kyouka—and punish her as she did Kyouka for betraying them all to Acnologia.

"Do you want me to call in someone else?" Ultear whispered. Juvia bet that she imagined she was being secretive; there wasn't enough space between the three of them for that.

"It's fine," Gray said.

"This is a conflict of interest," Ultear maintained.

"I can do it, Ul. Doesn't mean anything to me," Gray said. He had perfected a blank face; Juvia knew he was a liar. It meant something. It had to. He didn't tighten her cuffs too much because it meant nothing. He didn't leave his handprint on her wrist months ago for nothing. "Trust me."

"Alright," Ultear said without as much fight as Juvia expected. Maybe they were in love? Or maybe it was a ploy to make Juvia feel comfortable. Did Ultear suspect that Gray could get information from her that someone else wouldn't be able to?

Whatever the reason, Ultear stepped aside and Gray took Juvia into an interrogation room that was all too familiar. The walls were dark but there were so many bright fluorescent lights hanging off chains that the room didn't seem dingy. She could perfectly see the concrete floor stained with old blood. She imagined that it belonged to one of the officers—beating prisoners was frowned upon these days. On the opposite side of the room was one-way glass. Juvia stared at it, trying to see through; of course she could not.

"Sit," Gray told her. Juvia took one of the chairs bolted to the floor and leaned back. Gray sat opposite her and did the same. "Here we are again." His voice was full of disappointment.

"This is the only way I get to see you," Juvia said offhandedly, half-sarcastic, half-genuine and was glad when he recoiled some. Good. He recovered, though.

"You know how this works." Those simple words cut deeply; Juvia scowled and Gray was careful to keep his triumphant expression under wraps. "I'll go over everything anyway—"

"Just go," Juvia said.

Gray looked like he was going to go into the details anyway. Then he sighed and the interrogation began. He was right, she'd been through all this before, for the same reasons. She'd spent a few weeks in jail for it, even, and had anticipated Gray's line of questioning. She hadn't anticipated the way he'd look over his notebook with something anguished in his eyes when she didn't tell him what he wanted to hear—where the drugs came from, where they were going. She didn't anticipate the way he sat back when he was done. The way he said, "You're free to go, Juvia."

"I'm…?"

"Good to get out of here. Go home. I don't want to look at you again."

She was wary, not ecstatic. "Why?"

"Because a few units of the patch aren't enough to justify clogging up the jail cells."

She chewed her cheek before speaking. "If you think I'm going to lead you to the supply—"

Gray stood so he could sit in front of her, one leg on the ground, the other on the table. "I know it comes from Somnium," he said. His eyes were on the spider tattooed on Juvia's neck. "I know something else, too, that I think you should know."

Her curiosity was strong. So was her wariness. "What's asking going to cost me?"

"Nothing," Gray retorted. "I'll tell you for free. The Spider sold you out."

"Pardon?"

"The Spider. Eileen Belserion. It was her that made the call. It was her that told me to set up at Imperial."

Juvia's response was immediate. "She just called you up and said Hey, Detective, this girl is running drugs up north, better catch her and her tiny supply. Few hundred bucks, it'll be worth the effort. Sounds legit."

"That's not exactly how it happened. She led me to believe that there was a larger shipment which makes me think that either you were a decoy, or she wants you out of the picture, Juvia."

His words sunk in. "If that's true and you let me go…"

Gray didn't fill in the blanks for her and Juvia was afraid to. She had to ask herself if she was more afraid of Eileen Belserion or jail. She had to believe that she was still useful to the Spider. If she bailed now, she'd be killed, but if she went back… maybe Eileen would appreciate her mettle and forgive her for her association with Kyouka.

Maybe.

She rose and held out her hands. Gray unlocked her handcuffs; the tips of his fingers were calloused on her forearms and palms, but gentle. Juvia felt his eyes on her back all the way out of the Constabulary.

This side of Magnolia was trapped in soft decay. There were flowers on rusty lampposts, there were murals on the sides of decrepit buildings, professionally painted ones. The old town train station, the Ojibwa chief in a time before industry gripped the city, the old post office's side painted with a road traveled by a horse pulling a buggy.

It was all surface gloss. There was unkemptness to it all; the beauty truly faded when one stepped out of the main road and into the alleys behind the buildings. Away from the light and into the shadow where the dumpsters were scrawled upon with graffiti, where the garbage gathered against soggy fence posts, where a knock on the right apartment door would get you almost anything you wanted, a rainbow of pills, bowls full of herb, everything from salvia to the tamer green of marijuana.

Juvia felt a twitch in her muscles as she navigated the familiar area to a corner where the police didn't often patrol. Longing, that's what that feeling was. Hankering. She wanted her head to spin, she wanted her muscles loose, she wanted to feel nothing while she did this. So badly.

Breathe.

Because she needed to focus. Typically, she didn't partake in such a dangerous task—wandering around late at night, propositioning those that would rather risk paying a prostitute on the streets than go through the official channels, enjoying their experience at an official bordello under the rule of a registered Matriarch.

Juvia supposed she could go to Somnium and beg Tante Eileen and Tante Erza the use of one of the upstairs rooms. That would have been fine. Somnium would reap a percentage of her profits, as was the way, and she wouldn’t be taking her life into her hands, but Tante Eileen would never accept the money Juvia made in her establishment as payment for the money she lost when she didn't sell the fentanyl. It wouldn't matter that the drug was confiscated during an arrest, that profit was lost and it needed to be repaid.

She parted with the blue coat she wore, though mid-October was cold, and adjusted her dress so it sat low around her chest and high on her legs. She shed her tights, too, bundling those up with her coat and tucking them behind a blue recycling bin. When she was ready, she stepped out into the setting sun, trying to milk whatever warmth she could from the fading rays, and prepared for a long night.

She had men come and go, ones that wanted everything from a grope to the full package. Some tried to short change her, others tried to not pay at all, some overpaid with a smile and a wink.

The moon was high and Juvia's pockets were far from full when the headlights of a truck pulled down the alley. She wished there was warmth to be had in the light's bright glow but there was only October's bitter wind and the rustle of leaves hustling down the street, dekeing between the truck's tires.

The vehicle pulled up beside her and the window came down; hot air rushed out and made goosebumps rise on Juvia's arms. She rested her forearms on the windowsill and leaned in. The greeting she'd been harvesting dried up on her tongue when she realized she recognized the person sitting behind the wheel. She leaned away without a word. Gray's voice called her back.

"Get in, Juvia."

She almost listened but caught herself. "No, thanks."

He’d always been bossy. "Get in or I'm calling you in."

"What are you going to say? You saw me standing in the Stacks?"

"That you're trying to sell yourself on the street in the Stacks."

"That's a big assumption." She started walking away. Gray found his accelerator and followed her.

"That's the only reason girls like you come by here. Stop with the games and get in."

"Why?" she asked viciously.

"So I can drive you back to Somnium," he said immediately. When that didn't stop her, he said, "It's not safe out here."

"Looked safe enough to me until you showed up."

Gray didn’t let her words cut him. Pity. "It wasn't so long ago that the Cardinal killings stopped."

"That man is dead and his associates are behind bars," she said succinctly.

He huffed exasperatedly. "Juvia—"

She reeled on him. "I don't care, Gray. I'm more afraid of what's going to happen to me when I go back to Somnium then I am of the off chance of some client getting rough. Now, if you don't mind, I have a lot of work to do before I can even consider returning to Tante Eileen."

He didn't just recoil at her harsh tone, he slowed down. Juvia thought that was the end of it. He revved the engine and caught up to her again a moment later. "I can help you," he said, and he sounded much more sincere. “You won’t have to deal with the weirdos that can’t get what they want in the bordellos.”

"Oh, will you put me into protection for selling a few cheap secrets?" she asked sarcastically.

"If that's what you need."

"I'll be dead before the first day is done.” Tante Eileen’s reach was far. Maybe as far as the Black Dragon’s. “What I need is money, not protection. Unless you're handing it out, leave me alone."

Gray said again, "Get in."

"Fuck off."

His voice snapped against her like a whip. "Juvia. Just get the fuck in. I'll—"

Juvia snapped back. "You'll what?"

He looked up and down the back alley, into the windows of the apartments above. He got an all clear so he felt safe enough to open the console and pull out a wad of cash. "Give you this. To pay your debts." Juvia stopped in her tracks, and the Sierra stopped as well. She reached into the cab for the roll; he held it back. "Get in."

She'd gotten into stranger's vehicles for less. What was getting into Gray's? She climbed in and Gray, true to his word, passed it over. He put his foot down then and accelerated. Juvia didn't panic. She counted the bills. It was enough. She clutched the money, feeling like it was a lifeline, and chewed her cheek. "Where are we going?"

Gray stared at the road. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" There was a wobble in her voice. Sometimes, he scared her and she couldn't hide it. He was too intense. Unpredictable when he was under pressure.

"Away from here."

"You're just going to drive forever?"

"No. Of course not," Gray said.

"Then? Back to Somnium?"

He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “Somnium is poison.”

“It’s my home.”

“You should leave.”

“And go where?” she asked. “Maybe Daisy’s is hiring. Oh, wait, they don’t like girls with a runny nose.”

His jaw flexed. “You need to get off that shit.”

“And you need to mind your own business.”

“I would if Lyon didn’t tell me he got a call two weeks ago about a girl passed out in the bathroom of a fucking Starbucks, ODing on shitty powder cut with fentanyl. Sound familiar?”

She’d been doing fine until that moment but now all Juvia could think about was the burn down her nose, the drip in her throat. She took a deep breath into hollow-feeling lungs. That didn’t help. She dug her fingernails into her legs. Gray noticed. He reached across the console and took her hand away from her leg. She tore out of his grasp and tried to make herself small by the window.

“Juvia…”

“Stop the car and let me out.”

Maybe he had a hearing problem; he didn’t even feather the breaks. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine. Everything is fine.”

“You will be. If you keep trying.” The silence that webbed between them lasted for all of ten seconds. "Aria said to me this morning that she wanted to see you."

It was a ploy to distract her and to make her feel better. It worked. Juvia lifted her head away from the window. "She did?" The last time she'd seen her daughter, Aria had been by her side in Somnium, seeing too much, hearing too much. Aria was all too excited to go back with Gray when he was cleared. It almost killed Juvia. She had to admit, though, that this was better. She loved her daughter enough for that.

"She loves you."

"She does?" The words were out before Juvia could stop them.

Gray didn't look at her; he squeezed the steering wheel until his knuckles were white. "Of course she does. Did you want to visit?”

“Yes.”

His shoulders dropped their tension as soon as he had something to focus on, a destination. “Then that’s where we’ll go.”

She felt the hot press of tears against her eyes. She choked them all back and watched the world go by. Buildings, bus stations, houses. The world opened up and the city fell away; trees took the place of skyscrapers. They traveled to the sound of Pink Floyd's Lunatic. Juvia mouthed the words; it was her song of choice when she was digging her nails into her arm hard enough to draw blood while in the grips of withdrawal. It helped her now, too. She didn't look Gray's way, she didn't sob into her hands, she didn't think how fucked up she was, in too deep and trying to keep her head above the water. She thought about her daughter.

The truck slowed. Juvia looked up and watched as the white brick bungalow came into view. She'd never lived there, it was bought long after she gave up and gave into Tante Kyouka, but looking at its siding, the yard her daughter romped in with the little fluffy dog that went everywhere with her, she wished that it could have been hers.

Those were wants for a different girl.

But hell. As soon as the truck door slammed behind Gray, the front door burst open and Aria came spinning out, Weiner the little spaniel at her heels, Juvia thought she'd give anything to have this.

"Daddy—" Aria's words died off as soon as she laid eyes on Juvia. Wiener had been barking in joy, now he barked because there was someone he didn't know on his property. Juvia held her breath. Aria squealed, "Mummy!" and started running again. When she hit Juvia's legs, Juvia thought she'd fall over, off balance physically and metaphorically.

"Hi, baby."

Aria peppered her with a thousand questions in a matter of seconds. Juvia could barely keep up and fell off the track completely upon seeing the babysitter in the doorway. She was young and stared at Juvia even while she talked to Gray, who was handing out money again. She disappeared into the house and reappeared a second later with her school bag and purse. She called goodbye to Aria, who waved enthusiastically, and then she was gone.

Gray said, "Come on, Aria. It's dinner time."

"But Mommy—"

"Is coming to eat with us," Gray replied without looking at Juvia for confirmation. They hadn't talked about dinner. Juvia thought she could use it, though, probably, because she couldn't remember the last time she ate or felt hungry for anything, really. She let Aria take her hand and bring her inside the modern bungalow. It was nice. Simple. Cleaned, though there was evidence of Aria's presence—a toy box in a play room off the foyer that had been left open because she had too many things. Juvia simultaneously felt stupid for wanting to get her the sparkle backpack and justified—everyone else had given her things but Juvia—she hadn't much to contribute.

"Let's go wash up," Gray told Aria. Aria released Juvia's hand and raced down the hall. Gray followed behind. Juvia lingered, migrating into the toy room where she gazed down at the toy box. Some items she recognized. My Little Pony's, Peppa Pig, and a Batman doll. There was a picture taped in the top left corner of the box lid—Aria, Gray, and Ultear Milkovich at an amusement park. Gray held Aria and didn't touch Ultear at all, but Juvia felt cold and bitter. This woman was living the life Juvia couldn't.

"Juvia?" Gray asked from the doorway.

"Hm?"

"Dinner is on the table. Laki set it out before she left."

Juvia left the box and hopefully, the bitter expression on her face, and found a smile somewhere in her repertoire. She did what she hadn't in years: sat down to a family meal in a kitchen that looked like it climbed out of the colonial era, all pale pine cupboards, burnt pine floorboards. Rustic. Nice. Gray did well with his salary, apparently.

Dinner was lasagne. Juvia took a small piece, afraid to eat too much just in case it didn't sit well with her. It didn't always happen, but sometimes when she went too long without a hit.

Aria sat next to Juvia and Juvia distracted herself by asking her about school. Junior Kindergarten. Aria spilled everything. There was a boy in her class that was her best friend. They played with a farmhouse just like Daddy's. Her teacher was nice. She tied Aria's shoes if they came undone. They got three recesses and in the play yard, there was a purple dinosaur that rocked back and forth when it was sat in. Her best friend got sick in it yesterday and the teacher needed to spray it out.

"Aria," Gray scolded.

"It's true."

"We're having dinner."

"I'm done," she informed him.

"There's still stuff on your plate," Gray said.

"This is Weiner's. See?" She climbed off the booster seat before Gray could get another word in and plopped the plate on the floor. Wiener scampered over.

"Aria."

"He's hungry." The food was already gone in the spaniel's belly; the plate was clean. "He says thank you and—" She grabbed Gray's arm and tugged him down for a wet and lasagna-filled kiss on his cheek. Juvia laughed, truly laughed. Aria joined her.

Gray's protest fizzled. "You're a butt." Aria tried to run away. “Hang on.” Gray grabbed her up while she squealed and laughed and held her while he wiped her face with a damp cloth he had already at the table. This was a common occurrence, apparently. When he was done, she squirmed out of his hold and tore out of the kitchen with her shirt up around her belly button. Juvia raised her brow and laughed again.

"Don't let her energy fool you. She'll be asleep in thirty minutes," Gray said. "Guaranteed." He picked up the plate off the floor and shooed out the begging dog. He took Juvia's, too. She'd eaten it all. Juvia watched him go to the sink and do dishes. It was so domestic.

"Did you want a coffee?" Gray asked over the sound of the water.

"Yes," Juvia said just because. She wanted to linger there longer. Gray read her mind.

"I'll call you a cab when Aria's in bed, if you want to stick around until then.”

“Yeah?”

“Sure. You can put her down, too. She'd like that, I think."

“Okay.” Juvia fed off the scraps he gave her and pretended that she was unbothered by it. Why the generosity? Why think about it at all. She dragged her fingers over the lacquered wood counter. It was so, so nice. Nicer than almost anything she'd seen. Nicer than she was good for. Juvia made a fist. It gave her the courage to blurt, "I'm buying Aria a backpack."

Gray stopped filling up the kettle to look at her. The expression on his face tried to break her apart: hopeful but skeptical. Hadn't she promised before to buy things but it just never worked out, that look said. Yes. This was different, though. Kyouka wasn't here breathing over Juvia's shoulder. She wasn't feeding her long white lines. She wasn't controlling everything.

"It's purple," Juvia said. "And—sparkly. For Sparkle. It's a pony. One of the My Little Pony's. Aria's favourite. She’s okay. The pony, I mean. Aria is great."

He turned off the water and put the kettle back on its element. "I'm sure she'll love it."

"We found it. In the store, Aria and I." She was blathering. "I wanted it to be a surprise then so—I didn't get it." Gray saw through the lie dusted in white powder, she was sure. Juvia didn't care. "I thought she could put her lunch in it and maybe extra sweaters in the winter. Socks. I don’t know if it’s big enough for boots, too, but—"

Gray finally stopped her. "Juvia. Relax."

She was always running at high-speed and Gray was always telling her to relax. The routine was so familiar that Juvia had to stop for a whole new reason. It hurt. Gray, too, seemed to feel that ache. His face pinched and his knuckles turned white on the kettle and he stopped talking.

Aria came back into the kitchen. "Daddy, it's Thomas Time."

Relief broke across Gray's face. "Yeah, sweetie."

She looked at Juvia as she asked, "Can Mommy come, too?"

Gray answered for Juvia. "Yeah. Sure."

Aria looked at Juvia expectantly. Juvia got her stiff legs to move and took her daughter's out held hand. There were no calluses on Aria's skin. No telltale hardships she'd had to endure just yet. There was just the softness and the innocence of youth. Juvia was selfishly glad in that moment that Aria didn't seem to know what was going on during her short stay at Somnium. Innocence should be treasured.

The living room was like the kitchen, too, too nice. There were two large and comfortable looking couches, pushed together in an L shape; there was an ash coffee table, and a large screen TV. On the other side of the room was a huge window that looked out into the forest. Aria took her to one end of the couch. Juvia settled down, Aria got in beside her and held out her hand for a trailing behind Gray. He sat on Aria's other side and it almost felt nice. Like it could be right. Like Juvia could belong.

Thomas and Friends came on the TV with Gray's help. Juvia pulled Aria into her side and rested her head on top of Aria's. She smelled like blackberry shampoo. Juvia closed her eyes and breathed her in.

A blanket resting over her body pulled her gently from sleep. Juvia blinked. It was dark in the room. The TV was off now, so were the lights. Gray knelt beside the couch, illuminated by the light of the moon bleeding through the large window. He was like a ghost with at-odds hair, raven’s wing locks tousled out of the hold the pomade had it in. He’d been shoving his hands through it too many times. What was he thinking about when he did that? She used to know.

"Is it late?"

"Yeah," Gray whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you, sorry."

"Aria..."

"She's in bed. She fell asleep just after you did," Gray responded. "I watched the rest of Thomas by myself."

"Sorry."

He looked at her for a long time. "You were tired, I guess."

She hadn't been sleeping well lately. Juvia kept the tidbit to herself and propped herself up. Gray was there waiting, watching her as she pulled up the neckline of her slipping dress. "Thanks for spending some time with her."

"I miss her," she said.

A look came over him. Pained. He asked, "How long have you been clean for?"

She wanted to lie. She couldn't. "Days." And not necessarily by choice.

He gathered up her hands and squeezed them together in his own, eyes the colour of over-burdened storm clouds searching hers. She could feel his hot exhale and imagined that he was breathing life into her. If only he could stay that way, she might be okay. "That's good." She smiled weakly and Gray opened up a bit more, saying, "I miss this. I miss you."

Such a simple admission; it made her heart beat and bleed. Gray wasn't thinking about Ultear just then, he was thinking about her, Juvia. The Juvia that used to be. Juvia wanted to be that person again, very, very badly. This, right here, was the closest she'd come to the old, dead her. She leaned forward. His mouth was familiar and his kiss chaste. Only his breathing betrayed him; short. Juvia came back, trying to give him a chance to figure out if he wanted to continue. Gray followed her back into the couch. It almost hurt, that kiss. He was too rough; it had been too long since the last time they'd done this. Juvia didn't care. She took everything he gave out and more. His chest pushed against hers, rising and falling with harried breaths. Juvia grabbed his forearms and held him tightly. She could feel his pulse move in his veins, she could feel his desperation. It ached in time with her own.

Gray's mouth slowed and eventually stopped. Juvia waited, feigning patience as he touched her hair, smoothing it back from her face, hands continuing down over her shoulders. He started again, relearning her body and seeing something she never did when she looked in the mirror. His voice came out hoarse. "Juvia?"

"Yes?"

He hesitated. Thinking about his words, his actions. Not too deeply. "Did you want to go upstairs?"

There had been a nervousness building in Juvia's stomach, she'd been afraid he was about to tell her to go. It fled. "Okay."

Gray rose from his crouch and took her hand. She relied on him to lead her through his house, a little bit because she was afraid of tripping in the unfamiliar territory, a little because if he was going to crumble the foundations of what he built here, Juvia wanted him to be the one to swing the hammer, not her.

Every other stair creaked. Gray moved carefully; Juvia mimicked his steps. At the top of the stairs were three doors, the one to the right was the very last of the bunch, and the only one with the door open. Juvia searched for Aria's room and found it at the opposite end, a soft light coming from its bottom. A nightlight. Gray pulled her along into the darkness that was his room and closed the door, taking the sight away from her. Now there was only shadow, the smell of his sheets, and aftershave faint in the air.

Gray didn't bother with the lights so Juvia couldn't pick out the particulars of his room—pictures? Decorations? What kind of bedspread did he have? It all remained a mystery. Gray stepped into her and she thought it didn't matter. He still felt so strong wrapping his arms around her middle; he could almost envelop her twice; she was too skinny. He noticed; Juvia knew he noticed. He didn't lecture her. There were times when Juvia thought she was the only problem. Then he'd treat her like this—like she was the drug he couldn't stop thinking about—and she'd remember that they were both addicts.

Gray brought her to the bed and pushed her down by her shoulder. He joined her after undoing his pants and letting them sit loosely on his hips. His weight settled on her and she wrapped her arms around his back, holding him near. He kissed her on her neck over the spider tattoo and it was like a poor welding of old and new. Who she was meeting who she used to be. It left her almost crippled, his soft press of lips, his tongue sliding on her skin, his breath the gentlest of hammer strikes, slamming her into a place where she could barely breathe and only felt.

Juvia got her hands between them and pulled her dress down, needing to move forward from this place just to prove that she could. Her breasts came out and Gray occupied himself with those. Nothing changed, not really, those were still his favourite. Juvia worked around him and unbuttoned his shirt. She missed a button and had to come back. Once it was undone, Gray sat up so he could get the material off his shoulders. His pants could remain where they were; they weren't that much of an obstacle. Juvia bothered only to pull them down another few inches, making it easier to pull him out. He only let her jerk it without a condom, holding her back when she tried to slide down and put it in her mouth. She decided not to be too hurt by it.

"Here." He leaned back while she slid her hands up and down his length and searched blindly through his nightstand. He came back; Juvia listened to the sound of plastic rustling. He put the condom on in the dark. How many other girls had he had with the lights out? She knew he frequented Black Glove, another bordello in the city. She even knew his favourite girl there. A blonde with massive tits that demanded when she was in the thick of it that he call her Jenny, though that wasn't her real name. The tidbit of information was gathered solely for the purpose of torturing herself—Juvia didn't need to know, or even really want to know—which girl Gray loved to pay to fuck.

He edged into her and moved his hips slowly while he massaged her at the same time; Juvia's thoughts cleared. Gray liked to get into it right away but he would never leave her wanting. He knew how she liked it and did it flawlessly, too. Juvia bowed into him, holding in breaths and sighs as only his fingers increased speed, aware that it wasn't just them in the house. The bed creaked occasionally. Gray held the headboard in one hand, Juvia’s hip in the other. She wrapped her legs around his back and met each of his thrusts, thinking that would keep things quiet. Not really. He never stopped, though he did slow sometimes, coming all the way out just so he could get her closer and closer to orgasm, smacking his cock on her sensitive body.

He was a patient lover, squeezing out every bit of enjoyment he could. When it was time, Juvia came biting her lip. Gray didn't last too much longer after that and collapsed on top of her while still inside. He kissed her and she thought she could cry. He was too sweet after lovemaking. Always. She kept expecting him to get up and retreat into himself but he took his time before rising, kissing her chin, her neck, her mouth. When he was finally ready, she felt his absence like a hole in her heart.

He came back out, of course, and turned down the covers. "Come under," he told her.

Juvia hesitated. "Don't you want me to go?"

"It's late," he replied and again urged her beneath the blankets. Juvia let her apprehension go and did what he asked. He slung his arm around her body and put his head into her shoulder and she thought she could know peace like this.

Gray ruined everything. He usually did. "I know a doctor at Shoals."

Shoals. A rehab center.

"If you get in there... Aria would like to have you around more."

Tante Eileen would never allow for it. Juvia didn't tell him that. He'd get the hint when he woke in the morning and she was gone.

#Gruvia #gray fullbuster #juvia lockser #ft #fan fiction #fairy tail #my writing #this might be the prettiest thing I've written #killed me a little inside #cardinal universe

[livingvicariouslythroughphan]

Eat Me

Summary: Sugar daddy Phil feederism fic where dan is really thin when he first starts because no money but Phil loves feeding him and watching him fill out

Author’s Note: A bunch of people loved this idea so here it is. This might be the weirdest thing ive written so feedback would be great. like would you guy’s want more of this type of stuff or do you prefer other kinks more? lemme know <3 lol at my title what does it even mean in the context of this fic (2.1k words) anyways i finished this earlier but didn’t get to post it til now sorry about that also happy valentines day! <3

 When he first saw Dan shirtless, he realized exactly how thin the boy was. His hip bones jutted out to a worrisome degree, and the outline of his ribs was visible with every breath he took. He didn’t say anything, he knew why Dan had wanted a sugar daddy in the first place- he was broke- a circumstance which doesn’t exactly lend to adequate nutrition at times, he got that, and to bring it up would be needless embarrassment for Dan. Even then, he wasn’t exactly emaciated, he just looked what Phil would label “concerning”, and the man couldn’t help but want to change that.

 What he hadn’t predicted was just how much he would enjoy the process. There was just something about feeding Dan, something about the way he was always grateful, always wanted Phil to order for him at restaurants, always blushed and nodded submissively when Phil insisted on dessert. And then after that, when they were back at home, when Phil would run his hands over the swell of his full stomach as he fucked him from behind, when he would fondle and squeeze the small amount of fat that had gathered in his thighs, when he would fantasize over the thought of Dan’s tummy becoming permanent, an ever fixed roundness, an outward sign of Phil’s feeding.

 He knew it was weird, but it was hard to care when Dan was looking at him with that satisfied, sleepy, “thank you” look he wore so often now. Phil loved seeing him well dressed, well fucked, well fed, and knowing that he had done that. He loved watching as his ribs became less and less visible by the week, he loved the way the sharp angles of the boy’s shoulder blades softened. He loved the recent roundness of Dan’s face, the way it gave him a young, innocent quality. And, slightly odder, he loved watching Dan eat, and even feeding him.

 It wasn’t something Phil put much thought into, why he was so aroused by all of this, because it wasn’t as if Dan objected. They’d never really talked about it in explicit detail, but Dan’s reaction to the older man’s behavior negated any doubt on Phil’s part.

  One night in particular had cemented this facet of their relationship. It was a Saturday night, and Phil had taken Dan out for dinner. As the waiter approached their table Dan fiddled nervously with his napkin and glanced up at Phil, blushing furiously, and asked, “Will you order for me?” Phil’s eyebrows rose in surprise and he was poised to question the request when a voice came from his left, asking if they were ready. Dan gave him a shy yet somehow pleading look and he nodded quickly, before ordering for the both of them, he’d been with Dan long enough to know what he liked, and the look on his face as the waiter turned to leave was well worth the momentary bewilderment.

 There was gratitude there, a pretty commonplace emotion from Dan, though the implications of that still made his heart clench a little with the thought of all the nights Dan must’ve went to bed hungry. But there were other emotions now too, ones Phil was struggling identify. Something like embarrassment and… was that arousal? He tilted his head, shooting Dan a questioning look, watching as the boy averted his eyes and fidgeted.

 “What was that about, love?”, he asked gently, curiously, his voice lacking the annoyance Dan had feared it would hold. “I just- I guess I like it when you tell me what to eat?”, Dan answered, his statement coming out sounding more like a question. Phil’s eyes widened in understanding, and he nodded thoughtfully, considering what Dan had just confessed. Carefully, he determined his next words, “Well, that’s ok, I think. Because I like telling you what to eat.”

 “Really?”, Dan confirmed, looking hopeful and flustered. Phil chuckled, “Yes, really. I like telling you what to eat, and I like watching you eat it, and I like the way you don’t look like you're starving anymore. And most of all I like watching your thighs and your stomach jiggle when I’m fucking you.” Dan was blushing now, partially from embarrassment at Phil’s candidness and partially from arousal. Before Phil, he hadn’t known this could be something he was into, but now it seemed irresistible.

 Phil could tell from Dan’s expression and his squirming that the boy was getting horny and he decided to test the waters and take it a bit further. “And you know what, Dan?”, he asked, pausing to let his sugar baby shake his head before continuing, “When your food comes, I want you to eat it all like a good little boy, want you to finish your dinner so you can have dessert. And then I’m going to take you home and fuck you, fill you up that way too.”, he finished, smirking as Dan’s lips parted and he muttered, “Ok, Daddy.” Phil watched as Dan moved his hand to his lap and let out a tiny whimper. He shook his head, chastising, “Ah, ah, ah. No touching, baby boy. Be patient.” Dan blushed deeply and snatched his hand away, “Sorry, Daddy,” he said softly.

 A few minutes later their food was brought, and so began a meal filled with more sexual tension than either one of them had known possible. Phil watched preditorily as Dan ate, and Dan felt warm under his gaze as he obediently cleared his plate. Dessert came rather quickly and soon they were on their way home.

 During the cab ride home, Phil had his hand firmly on Dan’s thigh, and occasionally he would squeeze it. Twice he trailed it upwards, brushing teasingly over Dan’s half hard cock. Dan had bitten his lip to stifle a desperate plea when Phil inevitably pulled his hand away. “We’re almost home, love,” Phil reassured, and, soon enough they were pulling up to the curb in front of their building.

 Phil paid the driver and helped Dan out before leading him inside and onto the elevator. Once the doors had closed, Phil cupped Dan’s jaw and kissed him gently, his other hand going down to rub at Dan’s slightly distended belly. The boy whined into the kiss and Phil bit down mildly on his lower lip before leaning back, the hand that’d been on Dan’s jaw going to join the one on his stomach. Phil ran his hands over it, slipping them under Dan’s shirt, cold against the warm skin there. “I love you like this,’ he murmured, and Dan smiled shyly and leaned into his touch. Above them, the elevator dinged as the doors slid open, and suddenly Phil couldn’t wait to be home.

 He guided Dan down the hallway to his flat. He unlocked it and herded Dan in, closing the door behind them. Dan was watching him, waiting for instruction, and Phil gladly gave it, “Go get undressed and wait for me on the bed, ok?” Dan nodded and scampered off. Phil lingered in the foyer a bit, giving Dan time to get in place, before making his way to the bedroom.

 The door was cracked and he pushed it open, suppressing a groan at the sight of Dan sprawled naked on the bed. “Good boy,” he spoke, walking up to the edge of the bed and rubbing softly over Dan’s hip before gripping his cock, giving it a few gentle squeezes and then taking his hand away. He turned, walking to the dresser and slipped his shoes off, shrugging his jacket off too, and laying it over a chair in the corner of the room. He then opened the drawer of the bedside table and got the lube, tossing it onto the bed next to Dan.

 Dan watched as Phil moved around the room, he’d been trained to wait patiently until his Daddy was ready to take care of him. Finally, Phil was kneeling over him from between his spread legs, and Dan moaned in relief when the man’s hand went to his cock again. This time Phil’s touch was much lighter, and before Dan could even properly enjoy it, it was gone again. Dan whined in disappointment, wiggling his hips and looking pleading up at him. “You ready for me, Dan? Did you prep yourself before dinner? Did you finger yourself open in the shower while Daddy was at work?”, Phil asked, knowing Dan probably had.

 “Yeah, Daddy. Please, want you. Wanna be full like you promised,” Dan begged, spreading his legs further. “You will be, baby,” Phil said, leaning down to kiss Dan’s neck. He sucked a couple marks onto the skin while his hands cradled the swell of Dans belly, squeezing the small bit of fat that had gathered at the bottom. “Love this. Makes you look so soft and young. I love how your hips look with my handprints bruised into them too,” Phil praised, shuffling down the bed a little to kiss his tummy.

 Dan was close to desperation by now, he’d been needy since Phil’s little speech in the restaurant, and this teasing was almost more than he could take. He bucked his hips a bit and moaned when the tip of his cock brushed Phil’s chest. His pleasure was short-lived though, as Phil then pinned his hips down and gave him a disapproving look that was tinged with more than a little fondness. “No wiggling, baby. Take what Daddy gives you,” Phil reminded him and Dan nodded, opening his mouth to apologize when Phil quickly leaned down and took Dan’s length into his mouth, causing the words to die on his tongue.

 What came out instead was a shaky whimper, and he was suddenly grateful for Phil’s hands holding his hips down, he’d never been able to stay still for this. Phil licked through his slit and kissed down the side of his dick, giving him just enough stimulation to make his desperation increase but not nearly enough to let him come.

 After a few minutes of this torture the man pulled back, sitting up between his legs and grinning at Dan’s flustered state. “Daddy, come on. Want you to fuck me…”, Dan whined. “Mm… alright. You just wanna be full don’t you, sweetheart?”, he teased, grabbing the lube and slicking up his cock. “Yeah, so bad… Want you to come in me, Daddy… please?”, he rambled. “Of course, Dan,” Phil reassured, shuffling up further and positioning his cock at Dan’s rim, “You ready? You did stretch earlier, right?”, he asked.

 “Yes, yes… Please, Daddy…”, Dan urged, his breathing growing uneven. Phil didn’t respond, instead he just thrust in, watching lustfully as Dan’s mouth fell open and he gasped out a breathy moan. “Fuck, Dan…”, Phil grunted, pulling back and starting to fuck into him, one hand holding his hip and the other kneading the softness of Dan’s inner thigh. He moved them to grip the back of the boy’s thighs and push them into his chest, staring as Dan’s stomach creased and turned into little rolls. His gaze traveled between watching his own cock pound into Dan, and watching his ass jiggle with the thrusts.

 “Please..please, touch me, Daddy. I wanna come…”, Dan whimpered, knowing better than to touch himself without permission. Phil moved one hand to stroke Dan’s cock and spoke, “You’ve been such a good boy, Dan. You gonna come for me?” Dan nodded frantically and whined at the near constant stimulation to his spot. Phil’s finger rubbing roughly through his oversensitive slit sent him over the edge, and he jerked in Phil’s grip, coming messily over Phil’s hand and his own stomach.

 “Ahh, shit… Dan!”, Phil groaned, his thrust growing sloppy as he neared his own orgasm, close from the build up and watching Dan come over himself like that. The small whiny moans as Phil’s thrusts brushed his prostate Made Phil want to fuck him even harder and he rutted quickly into Dan’s hole, coming in him and filling him up like he’d promised.

 Phil gently pulled out and guided Dan’s legs down. “Thank you, Daddy.”, came Dan’s sleepy voice and Phil smiled, running his finger through a bit of cum on the boy’s stomach and holding it to his mouth. Dan opened obediently and sucked the finger clean, making playful eye contact and licking his lips when Phil moved his hand away. “You are definitely welcome, baby boy.”, Phil breathed, laying down next to Dan. He knew he needed to clean them up, but that could wait a bit. Dan shuffled closer to him and tucked himself against his chest, sighing contently. “I’m so glad you’re into that,” Phil breathed, running his fingers through Dan’s curls. “Me too,” Dan spoke, smiling against the warm skin of Phil’s chest.

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