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justanoutlawfic · 6 years

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Why Did It Have To Be Me?: 3/3

Trigger warning: mentions of child abuse, marital abuse, rape and incest.

This story took a different turn than I expected. There will be a sequel to this fic, I promise. In the meantime, let me know what you think.

Also on AO3

Mary Margaret walked into her house, her eyes feeling heavy. She wanted to sleep for the next 10 years, pretend like she didn’t just go through the worst night of her life. She was the reason why David and Kathryn weren’t working out.

Inside of her was a tiny life, one that would be dependent on her for the next 18 plus years. It scared her to death to think about. She thought of her mother, who had always been so patient and kind to her. Her mother who never seemed scared.

How had she done it?

As Mary Margaret turned down the hallway, she heard her father clearing his throat. She flinched, clamping her eyes shut. Once upon a time, Mary Margaret and Leopold had been close, they had all been. Then Eva died and everything changed. He poured himself into his work and was barely ever home. She had Johanna to help her mourn her mother, but it still wasn’t easy.

Not 2 years after Eva had died, Leopold was getting married again. This time, it was to Regina Mills. Mary Margaret knew of her, the daughter of Cora and Henry Mills. She wasn’t much older than her, barely out of high school. She didn’t know at the time, but it had been a complete business arrangement between Leopold and Regina.

She could hear Regina’s screams every night and saw how she went from a kind, sweet woman to a hollow shell, who barely ever smiled. She tried to keep a brave face for her step-daughter, but it was too late. Mary Margaret tried to stand up for her, but it was no use. Bruises covered both of their bodies and there was no use in fighting. They were both his prisoner.

Until Regina finally broke free. She had fallen in love with their gardener, Daniel Colter. She told Mary Margaret she would’ve taken her with her, but she had no legal claim to her. While Regina had begged Leopold to let her adopt her, he knew better. He knew that their marriage wouldn’t last forever and he wouldn’t risk losing his daughter. After a messy divorce, Regina had settled out of town with Daniel on a farm. It had been 3 years since then and Mary Margaret would sneak off to see her when she could, but it was difficult.

“Hi Daddy,” she whispered softly.

“You’re home earlier than I expected.”

“It wasn’t that much fun.”

Leopold nodded. “That…or were you just not feeling that well?”

“Huh?”

He reached into his robe pocket and pulled out the pregnancy test. Mary Margaret felt her stomach flip flop. She had hidden it well, hadn’t she? She wanted to hide it from her father until she could find a way out.

“Daddy…”

“Who is the father?” Leopold asked quietly.

“I…I don’t know.”

She couldn’t let anything happen to David. Leopold was possessive and cruel, there was a reason why David was the first person she was ever with.

Leopold rose from his seat and walked over to his daughter, allowing the test to fall from his hands. He grabbed her by the chin and looked her directly in the eye.

“Tell me who the father is.”

“I don’t know, I swear!”

“Don’t lie to me!”

“I…I got drunk and slept with someone at a party! He was gone when I woke up the next morning! I never got his name!”

“So, you’re telling me that my daughter is a dirty little slut?”

“Daddy, please.” Mary Margaret trembled under his grip. “You’re hurting me!”

“How could you let this happen? I thought I raised you better than this! I don’t want some bastard for a grandchild!”

Mary Margaret snapped, feeling violently protective of her child. “Well, just one year ago, it could’ve been yours!”

Leopold’s eyes widened and he moved his hand from her chin, smacking her across the face. She held her cheek and felt the tears falling down her stinging skin. Leopold had come home drunk one night, claiming that everything was her fault. She had picked Daniel to work for them, she had known about his affair with Regina. If not for Mary Margaret, he’d still have a wife.

She wanted to make people happy so damn badly, she could please him.

“Get the fuck out of my house,” he whispered.

“Gladly.”

She turned on her heel and headed for the stairs, but he grabbed her by her arm.

“No. Everything you have is mine. You leave with that dress on your back and trust me, that is a pleasantry.”

Mary Margaret knew that some of the stuff upstairs wasn’t necessarily from him. She nannied for the neighbors down the road and had used it to buy some of her own things. Still, it wasn’t worth the argument.

“I’m taking my car,” she said.

“I’ll impound it.”

“Fine.”

She grabbed her keys, anyway. She knew where she was going and they’d help her with transportation. Storming out of her house, Mary Margaret got behind the wheel. Looking in the mirror, she could see the bruises forming on her chin, the red handprint on her right cheek. It wasn’t as bad as it could be. At least she had escaped alive.

David managed to convince James to go to the after party without him. Kathryn went as well, not saying two words to him after their dance. David couldn’t blame her, he’d hate him too. He had been leading her on for far too long.

He walked into the house and threw his keys up on the hook. Ruth was puttering around the kitchen, making tea.

“Hey, Ma.”

Ruth jumped and turned around, chuckling. “Oh, David. I wasn’t expecting you home, I swore you and James were going to the afterparty.”

“He did...I wasn’t in the partying mood.”

She studied his face, walking closer to him. “What happened, baby? Did you and Kathryn have a fight?”

The worried look on her face brought guilt to David’s stomach. She was such a good mother, she worked her butt off to give him and James a good life. How could he do this to her? How could he give up Yale and the whole life that she wanted for him?

Mary Margaret would understand, she’d have to. She had a full ride to an Ivy League, too. They could give the baby to someone that could give him or her the best life possible. If Mary Margaret was insistent on keeping the baby, he’d find a way to pay child support and visit as much as he could.

He had already broke one heart that night, he couldn’t break another.

“We broke up,” he managed to get out. It wasn’t exactly a lie, it just wasn’t the full truth either.

“Oh, honey.” Ruth put her hand on his cheek. “I’m sorry, I know how much you liked her.”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe it’s for the best. You’re about to head off to college. You don’t want any distractions.” She let out a content sigh. “College. You and James will be the first people in this family to go. I am so incredibly proud of you, baby boy. You know that?”

David bit down on his lip, his stomach twisting. “Yeah, Ma. I know.”

Mary Margaret tossed bac

k and forth in her sleep that night. She had driven to Regina and Danie’s, telling them everything. Regina iced her bruises while Daniel said he’d call the police, but Mary Margaret knew it’d be no good. His lawyer, Albert Spencer, would have him out within seconds and it’d only further put her and the baby at risk. She told them about the baby and her plans, and they said they’d support her. She could live with them and they’d help her raise it.

It should’ve been enough to comfort her and yet, she still couldn’t sleep.

Around 2 AM, she headed towards the bathroom to pee. She paused when she heard Daniel’s voice traveling from upstairs.

“We can’t afford another mouth to feed, Regina.”

“You heard her, she’ll get a job.”

“She’s got a high school education and will be attending class plus raising a baby. How much money can she really make? And where will it go when we all have to work? We’re going to end up financially responsible.”

“Daniel…”

“I want to help her, I do. I just don’t see how we can make it work.”

“We have to try! I’ve been her, Daniel. I was in her shoes and I got away. I was lucky to have you, we’re all she has.”

“I want to help her, I do. Just look at it realistically, Regina.”

“We’ll make it work,” Regina insisted, the firmness in her voice. “I won’t let her go on the streets.”

“Well, what about the father? Do you think he’ll be able to help much? She goes to a private school, doesn’t she?”

“He’s a scholarship student, his mom owns a failing farm in town.”

“So, in short…no help there.”

Mary Margaret shut her eyes, biting down on her lip hard. She should’ve known better than to come to Regina and Daniel’s. They were some of the kindest people she had ever met and they’d risk everything for her, but it wasn’t fair. They already had a 2-year-old son to tend to.

They didn’t need two more mouths to feed on top of it. She’d go to David. Like Daniel said, he didn’t have much, but maybe they could be more help.

Mary Margaret didn’t hear from David for the rest of the weekend, but didn’t think much of it at first. He didn’t have her phone number and it wasn’t like they ran in similar circles.

On Monday, she walked down the halls, her hand instinctively going over her chin every few seconds. She didn’t have any makeup and Regina’s skin tone was too different from hers to lend her any. She didn’t know how she was going to explain it to people, but most seemed to be giving her the cold shoulder anyway.

When she turned the corner and saw Kathryn, it didn’t take long for her to figure out why. She knew and she had told her friends, of course she had. Keeping her head held high, she walked straight past her and headed towards her locker. Before she could start her combination, David approached her. He opened his mouth, then shut it, his hand touching her chin.

“What happened?” He whispered.

Mary Margaret jerked away. “Let’s just say my dad didn’t have the best reaction.”

David’s eyes widened. “Mare…I am so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Look, I’ve been staying with my ex-step-mom and her husband, but it’s not the best situation. They can’t exactly afford two more mouths to feed and well…I know your family isn’t much better off and we’re not exactly together, but maybe…” She trailed off and saw the guilty look on his face. “What?”

“We need to talk. Do you um, do you think we could meet up later?”

“Why can’t we talk about it now?”

“Mary Margaret…”

“If you have something to say, just say it.”

David sighed and looked around. Everyone was staring at them. He took hold of her hand and gently lead her into an empty classroom, shutting the door behind him.

“I didn’t tell my mom.”

“Do you want me to go with you? I could make it easier.”

“I mean…I’m not going to tell her.”

Mary Margaret tilted her head. “What?”

“I think…I think I’m going to Yale after all.”

Mary Margaret felt her heart sink in her chest and he reached out to touch her arm, but she pulled away from him.

“You said you would stay,” she whispered.

“I can’t. My mom worked so hard her entire life to give me and my brother a good future. I can’t let her down.”

“What about the baby? What about…” She trailed off before she could ask about herself. She didn’t matter to him, of course she didn’t. “What about it’s future?”

“I think…I think maybe we should consider adoption.”

“Adoption?”

“We’re kids, Mare. What kind of future can we offer it?”

She ducked her head, trying to not think of what Daniel had said. She knew this was the best option, but she didn’t want to go there.

“You could go to Columbia. You can give yourself a future. This baby needs parents. Not…not…”

“Two kids that slept together after one of them got into a fight with his girlfriend?”

“We were more than that.”

“Were we?”

David bit his lip and looked away. Mary Margaret stuffed her hands into her skirt pocket, looking around the classroom.

“Maybe you’re right,” she whispered.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to pressure you into anything…”

“I can’t give this baby anything and it’s not fair to them. I’m only holding on so tight…because they’re all I have. But…a parent does what’s best for their child, always.”

She thought of Regina and the lies she had told to keep her son safe. She thought of how Regina had spent the last of her inheritance to fudge the papers to keep the world from knowing who Henry’s father really was. She knew that she could never let Leopold know the truth. Daniel was an amazing father, he loved Henry as though his blood ran through his veins.

Being a mother meant giving your child their best chance.

Mary Margaret knew what she had to do, to give this child hers.

4 Months Later

David walked into his dorm room, throwing his backpack down on the bed. He knew college was going to be tough, but it seemed to be harder with each passing day. He looked over to the bed on the other side of the room and saw that his roommate was fast asleep. Thomas was from the city and didn’t seem interested in bonding with David very much. It definitely wasn’t the college experience he had been expecting.

Kathryn had reversed her acceptance to Yale and had managed to beg her way back into Stanford after all. David was glad that she was chasing her dream, but it meant that she was alone. Even James was attending a different college and was barely in touch, only texting to brag about his latest conquest.

He settled down at his desk, ready to take a crack at the homework that was due the next day. Before he could crack the lid on his psychology textbook, the phone in his pants buzzed. He fished it out and saw he had a text from Mary Margaret. They hadn’t spoken since she left early for Columbia. She promised to keep him updated on the baby and send him the papers when the time came. He peered down at the screen, reading the simple three words.

It’s a girl.

That was it, nothing else. Had she decided to find out the sex of the baby after all?

He walked back over to his bed and pulled out the copy of the sonogram that Mary Margaret had given him from under his pillow, the only picture he had of his daughter. She would grow up without him, possibly not even knowing that he existed. There was a good chance her adoptive family would choose not to tell her that she was adopted. All he could hope for was the day that he got to hold her before she was given away.

He gently kissed the picture, before stroking it. “I’m sorry, baby girl,” he whispered. “You deserve more than a coward for a father.”

Mary Margaret was in pain, but she convinced the doctors that she was well enough to make the trip down to the NICU. She had to go there first, she had to see her baby girl.

Baby girl, she had a baby girl.

She wasn’t supposed to deliver so soon, her due date wasn’t for another 3 months. She had only been at 26 weeks, she was supposed to have more time.

God, why didn’t she have more time? She was supposed to have until January to save up enough money, to get an apartment and work her butt off to raise the baby. She had only just gotten a job a week prior. The plan was to drop out of Columbia after she found a decent place to live.

Now, all she had was a couple of hundred bucks and a college roommate who had barely woken up to give her a ride to the hospital.

There was no way she could keep her now.

The nurse parked the wheelchair in front of an incubator towards the back of the room. The baby inside barely looked real, almost like a doll. Her eyes were shut and she seemed to have a million monitors attached to her.

“Can I hold her?” She asked.

“I’m sorry, Miss Blanchard, I’m afraid she’s too weak. In a few months time…”

“I won’t be here in a few months,” Mary Margaret whispered. “I’m giving her up for adoption.”

“Oh.”

“I…I don’t even have a couple lined up. I wasn’t planning on this, I was supposed to have more time.”

“If you leave her here, we’ll find her a family.”

Mary Margaret looked up at her. “Really?”

The nurse nodded. “It happens more often than you think. You’ll sign away your rights and we’ll contact someone to take her when she’s strong enough.”

Mary Margaret let out a deep breath. She wouldn’t have time to pick someone, she’d have to trust that the family was good enough. She remembered learning that most agencies had strict qualifications. Her daughter would end up somewhere good.

“Do you think you could give this to her when she’s old enough? Make sure it goes home with her?”

She held up the blanket that was folded on her lap, the one she had been working on since graduation. It had purple ribbon and a name stitched in the corner. The nurse took it, studying the name.

“Emma,” she said, softly. “What a pretty name.”

“I know whoever adopts her can change it, but…I’ve had it in mind since before I even knew what she was.”

“I’ll make sure Emma keeps this, I promise.”

The nurse draped the blanket over the second half of the incubator, before walking away to check on another mother. Mary Margaret forced herself up, holding onto her IV as she did. She peered into the incubator, tears gathering in her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Emma,” she whispered. “I wanted to keep you, I had it all planned out. It was going to be the two of us against the world, just you and me baby girl.” A single tear fell down her cheek. “But you came early, and that’s okay. You were just so excited to make your mark on the world, weren’t you?”

She reached her hand through one of the holes and stroked her hand.

“I love you so much, it may not seem like it since I’m leaving you here, but I do. I love you more than all the stars and the moons in the sky. You’re my miracle, you know. You’re the reason I’m still here. I have to give you, your best chance. And that’s not with me.”

The baby barely moved and for a moment, all that could be heard were the sounds of her respirator.

“I hope one day I’ll see you again,” Mary Margaret said. “Until then…be happy, be good for your new mommy and daddy. Just know you’ll never leave my heart, ever.”

The nurse came back around. “Miss Blanchard, you really need your rest.”

Mary Margaret nodded and sat back down in her wheelchair. The nurse pushed her out, forever separating mother from child.

#why did it have to be me verse #snowing #snowing au #tw: Incest #tw: rape #tw: child abuse #tw: marital abuse

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