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dentwy · 27 days

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number 8: persona 3 reload

originally, i did not intend to write much about this game. the more i played the more i got into debates and discussions about it. mixed with the varied degrees of reception you end up seeing on social media, it only felt right to fully articulate my thoughts into something bigger. it often seems like people online (on twitter specifically) can focus their thoughts on a single thing at a time. the new game came out, now it's my time to bash on the rest of the series! the remake is finally real, everyone else must acknowledge how i was always right! and so on and so forth. i'm glad i take part of a group of people that care more about our specific takes and opinions (even if we can end up taking the piss on each other for the sake of the bit). i only wish media discussions online didn't usually end up as such black and white concepts.

unfortunately due to the 30 image limt on tumblr i'm starting to come to the conclusion that this site isn't too ideal for what i'm doing. going forward, i'll have to figure out something else or shorten these things.

with that said, whatever your opinion is on this particular game, persona 3 reload, i hope more can come from reading these words. that is ultimately what my goal with writing these things is. first i must clarify a few things:

i have only played persona 3, 4 and 5. it essentially means "the persona series" to me. from my understanding persona 1 and 2 are more smt than what we know as persona, but i couldn't tell you much about them nor compare them to any of the others, so for any mention of other persona games these do not come into consideration.

i played persona in reverse order, be first 5, then 4 and finally 3. both p5 and p5r, only golden, only reload. i could only wish to have an opinion on these things in a vacuum, but alas it is not possible to do. p5r is also my favorite so take that as you will.

there are some general (important) plot points i already knew before jumping into reload, that may or may not affect the end experience. we can argue about the importance of going into something completely blind without getting spoiled vs simply experiencing the way the story is told, but that is a completely different discussion for another day.

without much further ado, this is persona 3 reload. spoilers will be discussed. otherwise, the tl;dr:

persona 3 reload is my excuse to play persona 3. even if it very clearly reports itself as an older game in the series, it is unlike anything its two subsequent entries in the franchise would end up offering. it's an important game, for atlus, and for videogames. instead of tying it forever to its roots, it brings itself to modern audiences, and does it as it was needed.

i never had much intent to play p3, or p3 fes, or p3p. in fact the more i heard about it the less interested i was. pick your poison: uncontrollable party members, or a top down view of the entire game akin more to a regular visual novel than the persona you know. i do understand the intent behind not controlling your party in the original game, i still don't really care for it, sorry. social links don't really do anything, you can't actually talk to the male party members, and every interaction with a woman is exclusively with the goal of you romancing her. you also need to make sure they don't get jealous with you since that will sever the link and waste your time. hadn't really heard people find tartarus fun either, but i see different takes on it now. add this to the fact there are different versions of persona 3 that add and take different aspects of the game, never really offering you the full package. at some point i decided that, effectively, the only way i would play persona 3 is if it got remade. i try to not go back on promises, so i did play it. they got me.

initially, expectations weren't too high, but as the date got closer i did start thinking "damn so by next week i'm actually gonna be playing persona 3 huh". i'd say the first couple of hours of the game were the most magical part. it did get me on that train of saying "this could just be persona 6 if they wanted it to be", but it is a 100 hour long jrpg so things can change quite easily over time.

how would they not get you excited when you're just starting? the game is fabulous to look at. atlus can't miss with their presentation, as usual. actually playing it isn't much different either. the quality of life improvements are very much welcome here. thank you for adding the shift to the game, i was in need of my dear baton pass. all the animations are stunning, the music is punchy as usual, in addition to what could go up as my favorite (if not second favorite) persona battle theme. not mass destruction, it's going down now. first one would be axe to grind from scramble. only thing is that the game maybe looks a bit too much like Made In Unreal with the motion blur turned on so i chose to turn it off through the game files.

even if the places around iwatodai and tatsumi port island aren't the most visually stunning, they serve their purpose so i can't complain much. their simplicity has a charm to it as well. tartarus itself is the key point in visuals, with every floor having its own style and architecture.

general gripes? i don't really find tartarus that fun to go through after 50 hours of videogame. randomly generated hallways are not my thing there isn't much more i can argue; having 250 floors of that gets tedious after a while. tartarus also can simply end up feeling secondary depending on the way you do things. you don't really have to go as high as it lets you before the next full moon, as far as i understand. you do it because it's your end goal, and also because people go missing and you need to get them before they die. i can commend it for making it a player decision instead of forcing it onto you, i guess. puts you in the shoes of the characters and all that. it just turns out that going there once a month for 4 hours straight until i reach the top isn't the most invigorating activity, personally. the game focusing on tartarus exclusively at night also makes it so most other days are completely devoid of activity. even if this isn't an issue for the entirety of the game, there are some long sections where it becomes very evident that maybe you should space out your tartarus visits throughout the month. my schedule management still wasn't the best anyway, so that's on me.

the game is also seriously easy. playing on merciless could've been a better option, but who knows. i started on normal because if a game says the normal mode is "for experienced players. moderately challenging combat" then i'll take your word. maybe i'm just too much of a grind freak. i just try to defeat as many enemies as possible and if i have too much sp left by the time i'm done, i'll do another go at it to not waste it. otherwise, normal gameplay for someone who has already played a couple of jrpgs.

most "challenging fights" are solved with a single theurgy move, if not two. it got so stupid i decided to change the game to hard halfway through it, but not much changed. i do really like the theurgies, i rather they stayed than have them removed. they're just a bit broken in my opinion. i pretty much fused a black frost as soon as you could and used him for most of my playthrough. seems to have worked.

one of my biggest struggles personally is trying to find a reason to ever change party members. i think a lot of the blame can be put on me, sure. i don't recall one jrpg where i'm actually swapping around members a lot. if you find a party that works, stick with it. then there's also the part i can blame the game for. if i have to go back down and change around my party then i kind of won't ever feel like doing it. huge props to them for adding the level up clock, even if it's limited to 13 levels at once.

you might say "a lot of jrpgs are like that" and you'd be right. the issue to me comes with the way persona works. since you have a limited amount of time in a year, can only rely on the sp your party members have, and they don't really level up when they're not in your party, i'm simply gonna focus on the party i'm already using. p5 maybe solved this by letting them all get xp if you got mishima at a higher level, and you could swap them out whenever you wanted if one of them ran low on stamina (doesn't mean i did, though). then again, i also am the type of guy to hoard all the best items i can "in case i need it" and never use any. you do also have the fragments you can use to get everyone back to full and you find a bunch of those as you keep going. then again, you need them to open chests, if you open chests you get the clock to level them up, so maybe it's better to keep them. feels weird, i can't really ever get to decide on what i want to do. the fact party members also get special characteristics like cost reductions for healing magic and passive 10 sp gain every turn makes it a bit hard to swap them out (because, yeah, my party was yukari, ken and koromaru). either way, it is a fun game to play. maybe repetitive, but i can't entirely say i play jrpgs exclusively for turn based combat. "i hate jrpgs" says the guy playing jrpgs, we keep going.

what i'm mostly interested in is story and characters. things persona has a lot of! i'll go into those in the opposite order as how i listed them, because i like to talk about characters.

i am so sorry for the persona 3 fans because a solid 80% of the social links blow, real bad. the rewards for social links in 4 and 5 are definitely nice. initially, i wondered if the fact you don't get much through them besides a persona would give you another reason to max them out. the train of thought was "well, it should speak for itself if just talking to people is rewarding enough", turns out that for most of them the only goal is the persona at the end. if i didn't like someone, i simply wouldn't talk to them ever again. the ones i wasn't crazy into i simply maxed out because i had nothing else to do, otherwise the list of people i maxed would've been lower. i also don't really like how both p3 and p4 make a bunch of your links part of different clubs inside the school. the times end up messing up each other, it feels weird for you to be hanging out with 5 different clubs while never actually going to most of them for more than a month at a time, and everyone ends up being unavailable anyway when you get close to exams or on holidays. the fact that some of these are exclusively connected to one another, meaning you can't even start them if you haven't gotten another one to a certain level doesn't really make things easier. i want to go through each one of them one by one to get across my feelings in regard to social links.

also, i know i said "rewards for social links in 4" but to be quite frank with you i kind of did not do a single social link in golden that was not in the main gang - besides adachi, marie, nanako and dojima. as far as i'm concerned, the rest of the links could be just as bad as the ones in 3, i simply do not know. what it definitely wins over though, is giving everyone in the team their own social link, apart from the usual rewards for leveling them up. i do like the way they tried to fix this in reload, however.

here is where each social link would get their own banner image. images which i stole entirely from rpgsite.net but made it look slick and easier to follow. my apologies if they all blend together but i hope you remember what each social link looks like.

the magician arcana is occupied by tomochika kenji. what is so magical about him is how quick and easy it is to hate this guy. since he's the first obligatory social link, i did, unfortunately, get him to rank 2. in those two ranks all he could do was talk about miss takeba, pester you constantly on whether the two of you are dating, if you ever get too peep at her since you live in the same dorm, and if you've done anything with her yet. he's also really down bad for his teacher. i don't like him, he's annoying, a creep and keeps insisting he's your friend throughout the entire game even though i never talked to him. he's one of the couple i had to end up watching the full link on youtube because i would never have done it out of my own volition. apparently when you tell him you're into "girls of all ages" he says how "interesting" and "impressive" it is (maybe more on that later). his whole link is him trying to bang his teacher, even though she never really thinks of him that way. he only deludes himself through the entirety of it. he ruins said teachers status since everyone starts thinking she's dating a highschooler, then starts crying when she leaves to kyushu with her husband. nothing of interest happens here.

something i saw someone say is that "everyone knows a guy like kenji". maybe i did? it sure isn't someone i'd ever be friends with though. i don't even particularly think the idea of a highschool kid being into his teacher is terrible, those things happen. it's mostly the fact he is absolutely convinced it's a good idea and wants to dedicate his life to her completely even if he doesn't know the first thing about her or can't really say anything about her that's not the fact that she's extremely hot. she is hot though, so he gets a pass on that. mostly found him insufferable and wanted to bash his head with a rock whenever he started talking to me.

odagiri hidetoshi is part of the emperor arcana, maybe a bit ironic. i initially didn't quite like this guy since he started as a bit of a prick as these people usually do. extremely conceited and aggressive. i respect the dedication but your options end up being "yeah! fuck them all!" or "uh, i think you're going a bit far with this". guess which one he likes to hear you say. a bit further into his link he does realize that there's more important things he could be worrying about, as no one will hear what you have to say if you're this much of an asshole. my problem with his link stems from the fact that he decides to change after trying to defend you, since he trusts you wholly. this would be fair if it wasn't for the fact that you are one of the main people that have been fueling his horrible tendencies up to this point, unless you didn't pick the good dialogue options and instead took longer to do his link. if so, then why does he even like you then? unsure. i believe a better option would be for both of you to get in trouble. then, have you face the actions of your consequences in whatever way imaginable. that way you both grow as people, see the failures of your actions and manage to grow. what if you actually found the student that was smoking and he got expelled? at the start of the link it was only to avoid any further trouble, then it gets more serious. you both understand that kicking him out wasn't the way to do things, and you're directly responsible for it. somehow convince the teachers to give him a second chance, track down the guy and understand where he's coming from. maybe then he can consider his own future as a teacher himself. odagiri is strange because he becomes a lot more genuine towards the end of his link, i can only wish it was done in a different way. he's generally more chill when you get to know him better, so actually being friends with this guy kind of makes sense. maybe he's not the most evocative image of friendship or comradery, but it's something he is trying to figure out himself.

"hierophant" is similar to "elephant" and i think elephants live for long. bunkichi and mitsuko are the first social link i maxed out. they're easy to talk to since they're available all days of the week except for sundays. maybe i should've left them for later into the game but they were the only people i liked talking to so i focused on them at the start of the game. there isn't much deep reflection that comes with their link, but it's nice enough. you're a random kid and they're a random old couple, but you feel for them and they feel for you. what i find strange with them is how little action you actually take into helping them. you're usually just saying "everything will be fine" and "i'll make sure of it" in regards to the tree at the school getting taken down, but, as a member of the student council, you never take any actions regarding the tree. they thank you for helping them out and can say you didn't do anything but they won't believe you. maybe it would be a little bit annoying to actually go out of your way to get people to sign or do stuff outside of the link, but i think it would add a lot to it. you could also just make it part of the link and show a little cutscene of your character doing stuff, who knows. besides, for stuff like elizabeth requests you have to go around the city doing things that don't take your time anyway. they've done it already. imagine if you had to go to a couple of your social links, or talk to the people at sees to sign. all of that for the tree to get taken down anyway, but it's the thought that matters. it's a bittersweet end and i like it for that. it's nice, i only wish you actually had more to do with it than just listening to them progress through it.

miyamoto kazushi is supposed to be the chariot of the track team. instead, he's just the chariot arcana. i only maxed this guy because i had nothing else to do. i don't think i hate him? i simply don't see him as a friend. it strikes me that most of the guys in this game want to hang out with you so bad because they don't actually have any friends. they allude to the fact they do, but clearly they do not. miyamoto is just stupid. he's supposed to be the star of the track team yet you show up one day and sweep all over the guy like it's nothing. he may be the best in your school (before you showed up) but he's not that good in general. the guy is convinced that he has to train as much as he can to win, so he injures his knee. instead of doing what any sane person would do and rest for a month or so, he simply decides to continue to run, further injuring himself. he concludes that the best course of action is to tell you his knee is about to snap and that you NEED to keep it a secret. even if this is bad for you, for him and for everyone involved, he asked you to keep it a secret so there is clearly nothing else can you do. SURELY he has a good reason to keep injuring himself? oh, of course he does! his cousin got into an accident and broke his legs. if he wants to move again, he will need to go to rehab. except he won't go to rehab unless our guy miyamoto becomes the fastest fucking runner in the entirety of japan. it's that simple. so, the only way to do this is to get better now instead of waiting. i don't really think i need to explain how insane this is.

besides the fact that ruining his knee will only make it so he can never run again, thus making his goal impossible, he's not even fucking good at running in the first place? the worst part is that by the end of the game after 3 months of him resting, his knee is completely recovered. so what was even the point of hurting it so much throughout the entire year? as usual the other problem with it is how the best dialogue options you get are "keep going! don't give up!" and "if you stop running you're a pussy!" because it's the short term goals that matter i suppose. i don't even know how you'd improve this link. i think i would scratch most of it completely. what i would like is for him to be in the track team because he likes yuko, and maybe he gets hurt because he's training so hard to impress her. then, he keeps training only because he doesn't have any other excuse to be around her. now, you obviously have to keep it a secret because he doesn't want her to know he likes her. this scenario would consider them being less close than they already are, and would make it kind of high-key fucked up if you ended up dating yuko at the end. i can take that though, it would make for interesting conflict. ideally she would never fall in love with your regardless, as within the canon of the game she seemingly starts a relationship with him if you don't romance her. considering atlus still cannot fathom the idea of a same gender romantic partner, can't imagine they would do that. they did technically do it the other way around with junpei rejecting you in portable, but still.

fushimi chihiro is the face of the justice aracana, perhaps because some justice is needed for this poor girl. i do like chihiro. she's obviously not the most boisterous personality, and she doesn't really need to be for you to like her. at the end of the day, everyone has their type. chihiro is one of the links i do like, or most of it anyway. her insecurities and anxieties towards men come from a very real place, and having the protagonist help her get through it is really nice to see. i didn't actually end up finishing her link because i wasted my time doing other things, but i got halfway through it. the crux of her link had just started when everyone starts blaming her for stealing the club funds and she can't stand for herself. i ended up watching the rest of it on youtube. it's fine. she grows for the better and that's the main thing you need after all. she manages to gather up the words she's been trying to say, thanks to you believing in and helping her out, which is more than most other social links are willing to do. what mostly strikes me as weird is the fact they never address how she actually got the money to buy the manga she wanted. i may have misconstrued the situation, but around rank 6 or so she gets excited to go back to the bookstore and see if anyone bought the manga collection she wanted. i suppose she doesn't explicitly say "i hope no one got it so i can buy it", but i assume that's the reasoning. the thing is that a rank earlier she explicitly says how she'd have to save up an entire year worth of her allowance to get it. so where is this money coming from? i take this as purposely making her seem suspicious so the player has to decide between their intuition and the trust they have over her, which is good. i only say it's weird because she isn't guilty, nor ever was. did she actually get to buy it? how so? this is beyond me, but it's mostly a cool social link all things considered.

maya… maya…. maya…. you should've stayed as a hermit! i genuinely believe maya could be a really great social link if it didn't completely send itself down the drain halfway through it. i find the idea of our main protagonist staying on his dorm all day to play a dead mmorpg really funny. he's playing that thing for like 8 hours straight and then goes back down and someone says "oh, didn't even know you were here". besides that, maya as "maya" herself is a really fun character. the online lingo might've changed since 2008 but it doesn't really come off as unrealistic. most unrealistic part is the fact of all kinds of people in this niche dead game you would find a middle aged woman playing it every day off. there's a lot that the link tries to say in regards to the online spaces, teachers, the school system, social expectations and such. it would come together nicely in the end to have this woman meet someone online that helps her get through her troubles, to then find it was one of her students all along and get really embarrassed about it. the big issue is, clearly, that she goes and says how she's really into you. so, she's not embarrassed about the stuff she said but rather the stuff she said about you, to you. even as the game is about to shut down and she goes "we should tell the developers", it's pretty stupid. besides the fact no group of developers would give a damn about 1 person online telling them this, sending your message logs about how you came out to a guy online as a groomer is kind of insane. she backs down on it not because of that, but because it's pointless to try to do anything about the game. i understand that atlus tries to appeal to different audiences and age groups with these games, but it is a weird thing to have her say. at least she doesn't ask you out at the end of it, maybe persona 5 could learn a thing from that.

fortune is a bit of what hiraga keisuke has. can't really hate the guy for that. i do like hiraga's social link overall, it's pretty nice and round even if it doesn't do any major things. he's a nice kid. most believable of them all to actually be your friend. he's talented and the people around him have expectations on him. his concerns are understandable and being unsure of what you want to do in highschool (or even after) is a regular worry to have. he genuinely enjoys drawing, but he cares for others and wants to help however is possible. i suppose you don't "do" a whole lot for the guy besides being there for him, but you can't really be figuring out his life out as a favor either. you help him when he needs it and chip in when asked about, and that is enough for both of you. he's mostly one of the good ones in my eyes, and the final social link event is also one of the funniest in the entire game. i don't find him trying to run away from home as a good part of the link, but the fact that he keeps bumping into old people that are all about to die and he has to help them out in the moment is absolutely hilarious. at least it's better than maiko in that sense, if only just a little bit.

train those legs! gain some strength! nishiwaki yuko can help you with that! she's fine. i don't really hate her or anything, i just find her a little bit strange. her link surrounds her and some kids she wants to help with training. they're constantly pushing the idea that you're her boyfriend and that's fine, kids can assume those things. you can take the hint and roll with it, or ignore it and stay as friends. neither particularly seems like you actually getting to know her that well, and that's where it ends for me. there isn't much going on with both of you or her entire social link. the kids ask for her help, you aid her, they win against the older kids, you're done. it concludes with her wondering what she wants to do with her future and that's perfectly fine, a bit like hiraga too. she doesn't really decide on what she wants to focus on though. for the most part my thing with yuko was the fact that i always saw her as "the girl miyamoto likes" even if neither of them ever allude to anything of the sort - but she does, canonically, end up with him if you don't. they've known each other for a while and it's clear that the idea is both of them ending up together. unless you interfere, of course. as such, i never felt like getting closer to her had much meaning and i didn't finish her link. i watched it on youtube, though. again, fair enough. don't really have an alternative scenario for her link, sorry. she's fun, i understand why people like her. not that interesting to me.

the hanged man is what i become once i finish maiko's social link, because god. the start of her link is you hearing some girls at school say "hey, did you see that kid at the shrine" and of course the first thought any teenage boy would have in that scenario is "curious. i should go see what that's all about." who the hell is this guy? the kindest soul in iwatodai, i hope. i don't mind the idea of you bumping into a kid that's having trouble at home. he can play with her and waste time to stop her worries. maybe even help her deal with her that and have her learn a thing or two about life. i did laugh my ass off when she started crying about how her parents are getting divorced, but maybe i'm also just evil. maiko is the perfect example of how little input you ever get into these links. i'll go into detail about makoto's character later on, but he is such a brick here. it's either "everything is gonna be fine" or "yeah kid, your parents hate you". she says how her dad just hits her like its nothing and you also have to suggest her staying with her dad when she's given the choice. she tells you to your face how she's running away from home (reminder she's 8 years old) and there is nothing you can do. she simply runs away. right in front of you too. then her parents appear and you're like, "idk, i think i know where she might be though". i don't think i need to explain how bad it is that she promises to marry you when she gets older and there's absolutely no way you can choose to deny it. a lot of missed potential with this one. if it was tuned right it could come out really nicely, but that's not how persona 3 rolls.

tanaka may as well be the incarnation of the devil. a devil i'm a bit iffy about. i think tanaka is a piece of shit, not much to discuss here. he's an asshole, he takes advantage of you and anyone he can. he suffers a bit of odagiri syndrome where everything you say has to be to confirm his own shitty values. the main difference here is that he loves explaining how you are wrong and he is right so most of the time it's actually better to tell the opposite of what he wants to hear, and i find that somewhat more enjoyable. i hate how he got like 40 thousand yen from me and never gave it back, how he doesn't particularly teach you anything at all but pretends he does (and the does game too), and how he seemingly "grows" by talking to you but only because he deludes himself into doing it. it is another odagiri, but less charismatic. it's fine that he hides his true feelings (or at least that's the idea) but nothing about him makes me want to care for the guy. sure, he donated money to charity for one reason or another, but that doesn't wipe the fact that he still casually scams, bullies and mistreats others. the asshole supreme, is what he is. don't think they were going for much more than that. thank you tanaka's amazing commodities, i will continue to buy your products.

temperance is what i need to not kick bebe right on his nuts. hon hon hon how sugoi! french-kun is a weeaboo. he likes japan. he LOVES japan! he can't think about not being in japan. i find his voice and way of speaking extremely jarring and annoying with his japanese voice. in english it's a lot more bearable. his japanese comes off as a racist caricature of what a foreigner would sound like while his voice in english is just a heavy french accent with random japanese words sprinkled around. that's how i see it, at least. i also just find his japanese voice annoying to listen to. i hope for a day where the Weeb Foreigner In Japan character actually has perfect japanese fluency instead of the joke being that he's annoying to understand. now that would be funny. if it was only that then maybe i could put up with it, but he's a really boring character too. it's literally ONLY about him loving japan. his aunt dies and he gets sad because his uncle will get him back to piece of shit france instead of letting him live in beautiful nihon. you talk to him a bunch and he decides to make a kimono to convince his uncle how beautiful japan is. too bad his kimono is horrendous! i don't actually know what he tells to you if you have him maxed by march, or if he's even still around by then. i do not care either. my time was spent on more important people, the french guy was never in my priority. a much more interesting take would be doing the opposite, and having him learn about japan while he misses home. maybe his family moved to japan because they had it rough in france or something. home is where family is, and japan can also be a beautiful place if you know where to look, or something. you could be the one that shows him around and gets him to learn the meaning of home. he can do that ugly ass kimono at the end for all i care, as a token of gratitude to you. i dont know, man, just change the way he talks and maybe he'd be more bearable.

mutatsu has the tower arcana, i'm running out of ideas. he's a sad old drunk man that goes at night and tells teenagers to go pick up girls (fair). i don't really find this man endearing at all considering he's always under the influence but i get his deal. he fucked up and wants to get his wife and son back. the only way he realizes that he should be the one to take the first step is by talking to you. that's kind of it. i respect the advice to use your time wisely, even if the way he does it is hardly what i would consider wise.

the star of the local racing scene is called hayase mamoru, and that he is. i really like this guy. i really like his link. hayase is what i was looking for! thank you hayase! you meet this guy at the track competition when he rolls up to you and goes "hey, nice moves. we should hang out". it definitely comes off as a little weird but hey, he's a sportsman, he knows how to spot a friendly challenger. as opposed to that fraud miyamoto, hayase has his real reasons to run (and is actually good at it!). he does absolutely love it, but, over anything, he doesn't want to be a burden on his family. he is similar to akihiko, losing someone and focusing on himself to take care of his loved ones in whatever way it is possible. since he lost his father, he needs to get a scholarship, as his mother wouldn't be able to pay it. he's a really nice, caring and responsible guy. since he doesn't have many other people he can talk to from the track team, he relies on you to hear him out as well as to train with him. after a while, once his mother collapses from exhaustion, he figures out that he needs to put his family over everything and moves away to work at a factory far away. it's not any big revelation to anyone, but it's simply what was needed from him. he never feels bad about it or gets angry at anyone, he knows what he has to do because it's what he cares about that is at risk. you eventually find out that at the factory he's working the people he hangs out with end up getting into running just like he does, which makes him excited for the future and keeps his passion alive. it's really nice to see. a social link where our protagonist has more than just a passive role, even if not by much, with solid reasons for the link to grow and the character to change.

alone, fat and sad, which the moon watches upon, a constant pain he will be. suemitsu nozomi everyone, the gourmet king. the gourmet king is one of the reasons i'm convinced i don't need to trust persona fans on twitter. i'm pretty sure you have to level up tomochika first before getting to talk to this dude, hence the reason i never even started him. that, and the fact that everyone said he was the worst social link in all of persona. i ended up watching it on youtube and came to the conclusion that the worst social link in persona is still tomochika. maybe not, i just hate the guy. it's probably ohya in p5. either way, the gourmet king surely deserves some criticism, but i'm not sure if it's the social link that's to fault. i do believe that there's a high chance i would've ignored the guy anyway if i had the option to talk to him. he's crass, aggressive and generally unpleasant. all he does is go around giving you orders and pretend that he's better than everyone, to only then try to scam you in the end. however, i find it as one of the most interesting links in the game. the "cult" he starts talking about is heavily relevant to the events that take place by the end of the game. someone as weak as him can be tricked into major delusions. someone that is persecuted by his traumas and the actions of others. he can't face himself nor his problems, so all he does is eat. eat his problems away, puke when he can't take any more and continue eating. no need to worry about your problems, just eat. of course a guy like that wouldn't be the most inviting to talk to. it's uncomfortable, but he needs some help. the fact that his link purposely reverses itself once you go against his own beliefs is excellent. you are the one that makes him realize what his problems are and that he's doing things the wrong way. even if it feels weird to still hang out with the guy after all he's done to you, maybe it shows your belief in others (or the protagonist's). people can grow and change. maybe he is too ugly for you to be interested, maybe it takes a bit for the link to get interesting as well. it's fair, i didn't want to talk to him in the first place either. i wish i could've given him a fair chance as he deserved, instead of treating him the same way everyone else did for a long time. he reminds me a little bit of the drunk man in the little prince; "i drink in order to forget. forget that i am ashamed of drinking".

at last, kamiki akinari, the sun of your sunday mornings. i'd have to agree that akinari is probably the best link in the game, as long as we're ignoring aigis. i found it extremely bizarre when this guy of all people won that one poll months ago for who was the best social link in the series. i still think it's crazy, but at least he's pretty good. he is definitely someone that needs you by his side, and i'm glad for that. he's lonely and he's dying. it runs well with the themes of the game, and you can give it a lot of benefit for that alone. what initially seemed a mindless waste of time to him, only waiting for his demise, turned into a beautiful moment he can enjoy for what little time he has left. the only thing i find extremely weird is the creative liberties with which they took the end of his link, where he randomly disappears in front of you. the wiki says "it implies he already died some time ago and this final meeting was his spirit" which i'm sorry that's just dumb. is there any need to make him a spirit and not just a normal dying guy? what does this add to his character? i forget about this fact anyway so it doesn't really matter to me. i like him a lot. his story is also really cool, inspires me to write more things myself.

you will see people usually default to the "persona 3 has the best story, persona 4 has the best cast, persona 5 has the best gameplay". when we're talking about best and worst there's a lot of factors that can come into play. subjective vs objective analysis and what you generally prioritize in a story or a game or any kind of piece of media. throughout my playthrough there are many things i could've gone on about how one game or the other does better or worse, but i struggle to see the point of this exercise. i absolutely cannot look at persona 3 reload without thinking of the other two games, but i rather focus on the game itself than how i would compare it to the rest. ironically enough, i believe i ended up liking this one more to persona 4.

a lot of my issues stem from our main character. canonically, yuki makoto. it may or may not have been me playing the game around the time i started watching the monogatari series again, while also reading no longer human, but the same idea of an actor trying to fit into society struck me as i thought about the way he acts. whoever thinks that persona protagonists don't have a personality are simply wrong. at times they can do things that may be off character if the player decides to do so. others it can shift slightly depending on dialogue options. for the most part, though, there is a certain kind of person you can draw from their actions and their train of thought.

besides makoto always having a dialogue option that can make him simply go "i don't give a damn", for the most part he is the most neutral kind of guy you can find. for better, or for worse. he is sociable and likeable, but only because he's put in situations where others talk to him and he always puts the other person before himself. a good trait perhaps, but it feels as if it comes from a lack of empathy rather than coming from a place of compassion. it's a game of gaslighting and convincing others. miyamoto should continue doing what he wants, it's his leg. odagiri is doing everything right, he knows what he wants. tanaka is making a living off of this, he probably knows what he's doing. maiko hates her parents, she can run away if she wants to. the only reason it's different with the people on sees is because they are important to the story, so they need him to be there to do things.

you can be best friends with junpei from the very start, always have him in your party and gas him up whenever he's down. he will still get angry at you for being the leader instead of him. yukari can get pissed off at mitsuru for keeping secrets from her and the only reason you will go help her out is because mitsuru suggested you do so. mitsuru does the same with shinjiro and ken when they need some attention. not once is it makoto that thinks he needs to take action for his own teammates.

i'm not asking for multiple diverging paths that depend on what actions you take. it's still a linear story. stuff needs to happen. it simply often clashes directly with the actions you take, or want to take, as a player. ludonarrative dissonance plays a big role in persona 3 reload.

i do find the cast of persona 3 really enjoyable. they aren't the strongest group of people. they have their problems and they obviously don't get along quickly as soon as they meet. the dorm setting confuses me a bit in this scenario, as it's not quite clear to me what the requirements are to be part of the dorm or how this even works at all. in fact, is it even normal to have both boys and girls living in the same place like this? it's more of an apartment complex than a dorm from the looks of it, but persona characters kind of end up being more young adults than teenagers anyway.

yukari is the one i ended up going for the romance route. while i do like her a lot, she's also a really weird character. she's dependable, selfless and caring. she can have quite the short fuse, but it doesn't try to come from a place of genuine malice. try being the key word. the start of her social link has her getting assaulted by a group of men and her reaction is to get pissed at you for helping her out. i fully understand she doesn't want to be treated as if she's weak and unreliable, but we're talking about completely different things here. throughout the entire game she keeps throwing shade at junpei for every single thing he does. even if he does deserve it at times, he also has his stuff going on. the guy had the girl he loved die right in front of her and on christmas eve she goes "i can't imagine that guy going out with a girl". seriously what is her deal? again, story doesn't match with the things we are doing. i understand her complains with mitsuru most of the time, even if she doesn't trust her at the start for reasons that are beyond me. she knows how she is, and she knows that she's trying her best. it is her family that brings most of the problems. while i get that she would get pissed for learning what happened with her father, putting the blame on mitsuru without understanding her own situation is a little bit ignorant. if anything, it helps for later on when they learn they've been getting duped and she learns to open up with the people around her. i do really like yukari, i simply can't say she's fabulously executed in the context of the game.

junpei did come as a big surprise. at the start, he's a bit of a weird guy. he's the bro, the one that wants to pick up chicks and go out and play. even if not the type of guy i'd go out of my way to become friends with, there's a lot to him that you will only learn once you know him well enough. he comes off as a little bit strange at the beginning. he's really adamant on trying to hang out with you, but you have nothing better to do i suppose. he really forces himself into you. maybe yukari is a bit too quick into dumping all her trauma to you as soon as you meet each other, but her reasoning is fair. junpei looks more like he's desperate for friends. can't blame him though, he can be a little bit annoying at times. he's weird, in a charismatic way. i think i often find myself talking the same way he does a lot of times, randomly emphasizing some words just because it's funny, or changing his intonation.

junpei is a bit of an idiot, we all know that, but he never means any wrong. he will be there to help out. he wants to stand out, sure. he wants to be the center of attention, sure. he will complain about it, but he's not your enemy. he starts off as extremely selfish, wanting to feel like the hero, but comes to understand that there are more important things to care about. what i was hoping to be further explored with junpei, is this deeply rooted self esteem issues that aren't completely delved into. it happens multiple times throughout the story where junpei starts getting angry at you or blames you for everything going wrong. he knows this is not right, he understands and apologizes. then, it happens again. i seem to understand that at some point, either in the answer, some other spin off or the femc route in portable, we learn that his father is an alcoholic. unless i missed something along these lines in reload, i don't really think they expand upon it which is a bit of a missed opportunity. more content is good, but i don't think getting precise characterizations and key moments of his past outside of the main story makes things better.

his arc with chidori, though, is probably my favorite in the game. this is when he manages to meet someone he can take care of. someone that makes his life a little bit more interesting. when he's at his lowest, feeling useless and easily replaceable, he has someone by his side he can share time with. at first, she doesn't seem interested in him, but junpei is the reason why chidori opens up and learns what it means to live. to want to live for longer. they both deeply care for each other by the end of november, and sacrificing herself to save his life is all she could ever wish to do for him. on it's own, it's a really strong moment for the story and junpei himself, but by getting some flowers for him to give chidori right before she dies, she can survive and come back later on. now, i feel a little bit weird with the game wanting you to do things you can easily miss to get an extra event that completely changes the story development and junpei's character, but either result can work out in some way. if she doesn't survive, junpei has that moment he will always look back on to make sure it never happens again. live for her sake. if she does survive, that memory is still just as painful, but it comes with a bright light of hope for the future. chidori is back, the pain and suffering wasn't for nothing as he still grew and learned what has to be done, but now it's accompanied by a different future to push towards. her memories are gone, so all they went through is lost for her. at the same time, all the pain she suffered is missing as well. trying to overcome those hardships and staying there by her side is another reason to live and continue, for both of them. it may as well be poignant enough to kill her off and leave it there, but since it's not something the game retcons out of nowhere and does lead you into it way before it actually happens, it feels proper. i also cannot complain about having some nice and happy event in the list of tragedies that keep happening towards the end.

mitsuru seems like a nice lady. extremely responsible and intelligent. she can be cold, but she means well. there's a certain charm to her that stem both from her personality and big sister energy, as well as the ways she often misunderstands others due to her lack of experience with the world and her upbringing. even if not my favorite, mitsuru is someone they all need to have around. her social link in particular comes off as a little weird to me. at the point in the story where you can start talking to her, it doesn't really fit at all. she trusts you wholly so having you around in a moment where she needs it most makes sense. you know, with the whole dead father thing. you go around the town with her as she learns more about what Normal People do. turns out she's getting married off to a guy for the sake of the company. it would be nice and all if you helped her figure out what she wants to do, as the general idea seems to be that the kirijo group is tying her future down. what we're overlooking here is that the world is seemingly going to end in the next month. girl, you don't have a future unless we do something about it. it doesn't matter what you decide now with your fiancé if you don't decide if you even want to remember all of this. it won't matter if you have no plan for how to survive. no one in sees ever looks at this whole deal as a barrier to break through. obviously, it's scary. no one is sure what will happen or how to deal with it. is it better to forget and die in peace? or try your best and fail? on daylight, mitsuru talks to you about takoyaki and how getting married may not be a terrible idea. at night, she wonders if you're all gonna get killed. she even talks to you with the idea of "only having so much time left together" but until graduation, not the end of the world.

specifically with my playthrough, there is a specific dialogue where she says something along the lines of "if i was in love with someone but i knew i can't be with him, would that be wrong?". here you can either tell her that if it's not meant to be then that's it, or that it's up to her. i don't really know about individual opinions but i think that being in love with someone you can't be with isn't quite something you control. i understand the question is probably more suited as a "should i still try or do i give up?" but that's not what she's saying. is it wrong? no? should you do something about it? whatever you think is right. obviously in the context of the game this either means "be with me" or "i'm not interested", so telling her that she should decide for herself indirectly tells her that you like her back. unfortunately, that is not my case! she proceeds to confess to you in front of her annoying fiancé, makes both of you really uncomfortable and she runs away. interpretations may vary but i can't see mitsuru as the type to be into you. just like akihiko, she's close to him as a dear friend. not much more than that. she can absolutely defend your honor and you may mean a lot to her as a friend, but not as a potential lover. though, at the same time, she gets riled up in the moment and isn't quite sure about her own words so it could be fair to say she simply spouts out something that could be taken differently - but she does say "i want to be with him forever" and then confesses to you, so not a lot to misinterpret from that. maybe just a me thing. even then, it still doesn't fit in the slightest with the point we're at in the story, so whatever.

akihiko is definitely the bigger bro. he's always there, he's got your back, you got his, the respect is mutual all the time. akihiko is also autistic as all hell and we love him for that. most of the time he genuinely doesn't know how he's supposed to talk to others, but, over anything, he has one thing he focuses on and devotes his entire life to. to train, to become stronger and to become the best he can be. he sure trains because he genuinely enjoys it, but it also comes from a place of tragedy. a loss he cannot forgive himself for. he doesn't want that to ever happen again, so he knows he needs to improve himself. i absolutely adore the fact he was adopted by a caring family on what i assume was around his early teens. he becomes stronger by the people around him and it takes him a bit to realize it, but he will always have someone taking care of his back. be it family or friends. a guy that knows what he wants and will do anything to achieve it. "but even if that's how i feel, i can't back down now. i'll carry that responsibility, and pay for it the rest of my life if i have to."

before playing the game i was ready to become a devoted fuuka fan. i was a little bit surprised to find out i didn't go that hard, but i sure understand the hype. fuuka seems to be concocted to be the girl your average fan would adore. she's cute, shy, really nice, caring, good with computers, a bit of a nerd, curious about trying new stuff, and is always in need of your help. i do like her a lot. she's a really nice friend, i'm safe to assume most people would be glad to have a friend like fuuka. it's just that.. damn.. i find her social link pretty weak. the majority of it is solely her trying to get better at cooking and you trying out her food. at first, god awful. then, she learns she can make onigiri and it's good. only onigiri, though. it's fine if she wants to get better at a single thing for the sake of everyone, akihiko does do the same after all. akihiko, however, has many reasons to try and get stronger. fuuka wants to get closer to others, i suppose, except she's not particularly closed off from everyone in the group either. if you didn't do anything with her here, she would still improve on her own and grow as a person through normal story means. so at the end of the day she goes through the same arc twice in the game. she has that one moment where she mentions she doesn't like bookstores because she couldn't stand up for herself back when someone accused her of stealing a book or something. a fine example of why she wants to change, but it insists on focusing about cooking instead of having her do anything more active. slowly, she naturally starts wondering why is it that she relies on you so much and you get the option to tell her that she loves you or, actually, you're only really good friends. my guy yuki back at it again gaslighting women. she learns that it's not always about having a list of traits that are useful for others to use, and tones down all the negativity that's been burning her away. there's nothing inherently wrong with the link, she gains confidence in herself and opens up to people. whether through cooking or talking about her problems with her friends, she comes to understand herself. as always, i would wish you had a more active role in these things rather than let everyone passively grow by debating about what they should and shouldn't do against a wall (you). the counter argument is that i do really like fuuka so it gets a pass.

i want to talk about ken and shinjiro at the same time because they end up being intrinsically linked together by the time their arcs peak. for starters, i find ken extremely charming. he's a nice kid, maybe too grown up for his own good but that's what makes him responsible and easy to talk to no matter the age difference. he also tries to act more grown up than he is, insisting that he likes his coffee black, that tokusatsu is actually lame and generally trying to hide what he's thinking or feeling. not entirely dissimilar to shinjiro, the stern looking buff guy with a heart of gold hidden within the trench coat he wears all day every day for the entirety of the year. seriously, it's so hot outside what is your issue.

now i did know that shinjiro died, because, once again, persona 3 fans cannot keep a secret. i saw someone casually mention he dies, then i talked to someone else and explained how "i read about a character dying but i'm not too sure about it". then, they proceeded to say "oh yeah, i know who you're talking about. worst part is that he was the strongest party member so all the levels and armor i put into him were worthless". way to be subtle! regardless, a little bit before the events of october 4th, shinjiro himself reveals to you that he doesn't have much time left in this world. both him and ken have been living in pain for the past 2 years, and this day is where they want to put that to rest. before ken comes out and says he wants to kill shinjiro with his own hands, he does show clear signs of something going on in his head so it doesn't entirely come out of nowhere. same for shinjiro being responsible for the death of his mother as there must have been some reason he quit school and has been loitering for the past year. what i'm not entirely sure i can buy, even now, is the fact that ken, a 10 year old boy, has been actively planning to kill this guy for the past 2 years. not only that, but also planning on killing himself after the fact.

take this as my interpretation of the character, i've discussed this entire thing with someone else at length and couldn't really come to a proper conclusion. ken explicitly says to shinjiro: "i've even though about killing myself", "i vowed to live until i found her killer", and, literally, "i'm gonna kill you". i, personally, take the slightly goofy, responsible type kid that amada is as the type to not conclude that the entire meaning of his life from age 8 onwards, to be the fact that he has to kill a guy and end it all. perhaps the idea was that he initially thought about suicide, later figured that it wasn't the way to go and revenge was the better option - and not, killing shinjiro and then killing himself. unsure. either way, i'm not here to talk about the mental stability of an 8 year old child and child suicide rates. i'm here to talk about ken amada.

the way he throws around "i even thought about killing myself" rings pretty hollow to me. as if killing himself was a phase he had. i fully understand that his mother was the only one he had. she meant the world for him, obviously it would destroy him. is he really that kind of kid though? i always took him as the strong, independent kind. did yukari go "i thought of killing myself" when her father died? did anyone else at sees think of "killing themselves" when they lost someone close to them when they were younger? now don't take me wrong, these are all serious topics and it's evident that different people will take such loss in different ways. i'm only trying to understand how ken would react to it. he's not "weak" for thinking about such dark outcome for himself because he lost someone close to him, it definitely affected him severely and that's all it is. for 2 entire years though? you're telling me he was exclusively thinking about this for 2 years? that as a 10 year old, this was his only goal in life. i just feel like i have to suspend my disbelief a little bit too much for ken amada of all people to say such things.

shinjiro, as valiant as he is, ends up sacrificing himself to save ken. he tells him that he's welcome to kill him, but warns him that it will haunt him for the rest of his life, just like it did for him. definitely where shinjiro's character shines the most. for a moment, ken himself thinks that his revenge is now worthless if he dies through other means, but it's clear that it would be hard to process such an event. the guy that killed your mom just saved your life. how would you feel about this? it's a lot of mixed signals and of course he's confused. so confused to leave sees for like half a week. who knows where to, he is still just a kid. it's beyond me whatever the hell he did on his own for those days, but i digress. at the same time, everyone does kind of forget the fact that ken literally tried to kill shinjiro by his own hands. whether he was successful or not doesn't entirely matter, his plan was to kill.

now this, as i take it, is probably a lapse in judgement from ken. sure, he may have pumped himself for a while to think he had to kill shinjiro. i don't think 2 years makes sense. i think as soon as he found out shinjiro was the one that killed his mom, he started thinking about it and it got to him. when time came to it, i don't believe he would actually be able to kill shinjiro. again, he's not that kind of kid. maybe my own head canon, but words like "i don't have anything else to live for" is a thing he would just say in the moment and not mean with further thought. in my head, it simply works out better as ken living in pain for that long, not being able to move past it entirely, hating the guy and blaming all on him. only then, he finds out who shinjiro is and thinks that killing him is the way to go. this, instead of living for 2 years with the sole goal of killing a guy. once it gets to it, shinjiro saves his life and he realizes how even though his reasons for hating him are fully justified. there's more to the story, more to shinjiro and more things that are worth living for.

shinjiro's death doesn't particularly hit me as hard as something like chidori's, most likely because i already knew it would happen. plus, the fact he does mention he will die regardless, but it's very resonant in it's own way. not because you're gonna die anyway it means your life means any less. i didn't really talk to him much before he passed and never even added him to my party, but you only realize how important the people around you are once they're gone. his death incites hope for the future. he leaves off with a smile and finally atoning for his sins for the last time. death isn't happy, but he makes the most of it by doing what he couldn't do last time. save a life.

koromaru is a dog. he's a good boy.

aigis may have ended up as my favorite character in the game. she's a special one. what was initially a pretty hollow, although goofy robot girl, whose only purpose was to defeat shadows and protect you for reasons neither of you understood, turned into a deeply caring, worrisome character who bears no resemblance to that of a machine. besides looks, that is. i have to commend sakamoto maaya of all people, for the excellent performance behind aigis. sakamoto has always been good at her job, but it was only recently that i've taken notice of how precise her performance can be. how the slight changes in the way she speaks sell a different version of the character, through age, personality, or growth along a span of time. aigis does look like a human and does sound like one, but doesn't talk like one. there's a lot she doesn't understand and a lot she doesn't know. evidently, as you grow and get to understand the world around you, you will clearly become "more human". if it were only in writing you would surely understand how much she learns through time. sakamoto just makes it incredibly grounded. even after aigis is gone for a while and everyone starts mentioning how she seems different, you feel that as well as a player. i can't say anything about the english va, i watched her play the game for a bit and she seems fun. i simply didn't play the game with english voices.

beyond that, aigis becomes an extremely fun character. she grows so much but you grow alongside her. i mean, we're all human (i hope) but how often do you actively think about what it means to be a person? what truly makes you human? she has all the characteristics of a human being, but she comes to the realization that she will never really become one. she's a machine, she can be repaired and come back to life. she will outlive everyone around her and there is nothing she can do about it. what she can do, however, is to keep the memories of everyone important to her. if she will outlive them, the memories of them will do as well. even if it's not for long that you've known her for, she means a lot to you and to everyone. you mean a lot to her, too. caring for others is what makes her human. so even with the body of a machine, one that can be repaired, she cannot be replaced.

with these freaks, you get the cast of persona 3. they're a special bunch. they have their issues, as any group does. as any person does, really. they have an enjoyable chemistry that doesn't explode from nowhere but does bloom as time goes on. not much is forced here, but even if a bit slow it manages to hold itself together nicely. even the casual group events that happen on every game with the beach, ryokan and banquet celebrations are, honestly, better than usual. the beach episode doesn't feel out of character. junpei is always the guy that will try to hit on girls even if he's really bad at it, and he gets made fun of for it instead of making it awkward for everyone involved. akihiko only does it because of a bet, as he would, so it's also fitting enough. with the ryokan they do sort of get into trouble "by accident" and do just want to leave quietly before anything happens. even if it's more because mitsuru would get angry and take their lives if she found out, but still. ryoji is more to blame about this than the rest of the guys, which i haven't talked to about yet.

ryoji is unabashedly himself. he gets little time to do much for him to become, like, a relevant character in my head. i find him really fun, though. he's charming and goofy. he's so clueless about everything that it becomes funny. more than a creep he's curious about others in every shape and form which leads to misunderstandings and questionable behavior, but generally funny nonetheless. i would like for him and his time on earth to have a bigger impact on the protagonist as he's supposed to be part of him after living "inside his body" for the past decade, but that leads into the ending itself.

the big thing goes last. i talk way too much about the characters when compared to the story. i like to think that i'm better at that, hence the priority, but this has been taking so long to write that my thoughts get all scrambled around and i forget half of the things i wanted to say. i started writing these things just so i could set my thoughts on paper before forgetting them! only 8 of these and the length has gone up 10 times, so, there's that. in between beating the game, starting this, adding one more year to my life counter and the moment of writing this sentence, they've announced the answer as the dlc to come out later in the year. i cannot talk about the answer since i haven't played it, obviously, but there are some things i know about it. as far as i'm concerned, the ending of the game is the only thing that matters right now. the answer may as well be the fanfiction epilogue written by someone at atlus, i don't care. i'm sticking to what i've played and what i know.

i've been insisting on how the game often employs the ludonarrative dissonance card throughout it's runtime and characters. this is what strikes me as particularly truthful towards the end.

in december, everyone is told the world will end. there is nothing they can do to stop it. if you decide to forget, everyone dies happy. otherwise, you can try your best and see what happens. january, the background music changes and the entire screen gets a saturation shift for every color to be slightly muted. persona loves to make things clear at times, but this one seems a little bit too on the nose even for persona standards. you know what would be cool? making small changes throughout the month until the fated day. only then, the music would slowly change for all to sound more somber and the entire city to look dead. it comes off as extremely weird because the dorm theme is still the same one, as well as the song that plays for jobs and social link events. i say you either go one way or the other, not both. make it so everything is purposely dark, somber and sad. go all the way with it and have everyone around you react to it. i don't really see the point in doing this change so out of nowhere myself. it feels dumb. it doesn't really fit either. add the fact that half of the month is wasted on nothing because you can't talk to any school related social link until vacations are over, and it feels like a pretty stupid month leading up to the grand finale.

must say, the takaya fight was harder than nyx. not sure why that guy has more health. he also just drains your entire sp like it's nothing - he's crazy. nyx you can kind of beat in 1 or 2 moves for every phase. it's not that interesting of a fight, but i like the design. once you're done with nyx, you get a call from igor about how friendship gives you infinite power to seal nyx forever. "the power of friendship surges within you", since you've supposedly made the necessary bonds to garner a power unlike anything else. strong enough to sustain the heavy blows by this godlike entity, and strong enough to use your final ability "great seal". now, supposedly, since this skill uses up all of your hp no matter your level or items, the idea is that you're effectively using all your life force. had i not looked it up after beating the game i really do not think i would've ever thought about this connection on my own. maybe i'm stupid? i sure didn't read what the skill even did when using it, less so how much hp was necessary to use it. i cannot say with confidence anyone else checks that before hitting the final blow on the last boss of the game. if i understand right, what people infer from this and the events in march is quite simple. guy has no more hp (so literally, his life) -> waits until he could fulfill his promise -> dies. is this what has been getting hyped up since 2006?

genuinely, what are we working with here? i fully support the idea of killing your protagonist. i think that is fabulous. i only struggle to find it appealing in the way it's done here. first off: really? he uses all his hp in battle and dies? we know for a fact battles as shown in game aren't applicable to a real scenario. is the implication that your party members legitimately die and are brought back to life mid battle with a simple item? i do not find the idea of a skill you forcefully have to use to finish the game as a cool "got you". do we, as players, actively decide to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of those we love? does the protagonist do this on his own? if we're talking about a skill used to seal a god you just unlock in this particular scenario, of which you have no further info of, with the supposed strongest persona imaginable, with the help of the bonds you've crafted along the way, i don't buy it one bit. what i see as the weirdest thing in all of this is the fact that he doesn't even die right then and there. he's back up and kicking as soon as the fight is over. it takes a whole month for the guy to die, even though he's supposed to have been completely drained.

everyone forgot about what happened, except for you and aigis. i'm not sure why our main character remembers, but at least the player will obviously do. just when you're supposed to all meet up in the roof as you promised, they finally end up remembering and come running to you. you get this really nice cutscene with everyone running full of joy knowing what they've accomplished and what the future promises for them. you're dead, though. dead corpse in the roof. not that any of this is shown as a tragedy since it's presented as more of a happy moment than anything. the game ends. was this the promise he had to keep? what about ken and fighting him again when he gets stronger? what about whoever you romanced and promising to be by their side? what about aigis saying she wants to be alongside you forever? what about literally anyone you ever talked to expecting you to be by their side lending them a hand when they most need it? i'm really sorry, i just cannot think that this the only thing that mattered before passing away.

as i get it, the argument seems to be how it lines up with the theme of the game and the idea of death. not that death isn't a prominent idea in the game, but i would argue the only reason you are facing death is because you literally are facing Death, not because you get what death is. death isn't nice, it's a tragedy. "facing death" is about accepting that people can pass on and leave things behind, not literally dying and being okay with it. jesus christ, we're talking about a 17 year old highschool student. it doesn't matter if he gets what death means, he hasn't been alive for even half of what the average human lifespan would be. persona 3 is about loneliness. that's the theme. loneliness always comes along with death. the death of our loves ones making us feel alone. loneliness, and finding the people you live to fight that loneliness. the people by our side that will help us get out of our worst moments. the ones that will help us grief and bright our days back up. please, kill the main character - but make it meaningful, not a plot device.

you know how i take this as? making friends kills you. i played the game, i talked to people, i made friends, i made lovers. all of this for them to give me the power to defeat god and for it to kill me. this is the ultimate power you have cultivated. my actions as a player ultimately don't matter because you are there to die at the end of it all. you used a skill in battle and it killed you. sorry!

now, let me backtrack a bit. i knew the main character died at the end of the game way before i played the thing. it's another one of those things people cannot keep to themselves. no matter how slick you think you are by posting the same screenshot every march, i can imagine what is going on here. i had my own theories of how this would happen. clearly, Death had been living inside of you for this long. you are intrinsically tied to the fate of the world. surely, if you kill Death, you kill a part of yourself. maybe nyx had its fate tied to you. maybe it's as easy as a noble sacrifice for the sake of others. it's none of the above, apparently. you finish the fight, a month goes by and you go to the roof. it might've been clear already but i need to be frank, i had to look up what the ending was supposed to mean. rather, what people interpret it as. great seal skill and all.

now, see, had i not read about him dying or other theories, i'm not completely sure if that's what i would've concluded it as. after looking at it in retrospect, yeah, dies. he's extremely tired by march, he needs to close his eyes and rest. rest for how long? you decide. the problem to me is how unclear the reason for all of this seems to be. okay, so he died. let's track down the reason. why did he die? he beat nyx and kept living for another month, so why now? they never said anything about his life being tied to nyx either, so that can't be it. absolutely no idea. okay - so it's because of the stupid skill at the end of the fight. whatever, sure. why didn't he die back then? why did it take an entire month for anything to happen to him? does he just toughen out death for that long? i couldn't tell you. turns out, it's because that's the day they promised to meet up no matter happened. yeah, sure, that makes sense. what about literally every other promise he made the month before and months before that? was that the only thing that ever mattered? to meet up at the roof on graduation day? you know what fucks me up: he doesn't even fucking meet them! he takes his beauty sleep before they even get there! so you couldn't even fucking keep that promise anyway!

you know what doesn't kill you? sleep. actually, that's a lie, you can die on your sleep pretty easily. the way this entire scene is written and shot (or animated, i suppose) does not strike me as anything close to a death. i understand that it is, because aigis is crying, because you don't want to "sleep" but it will happen anyway, because you're literally fading to black, and because the guy just taking a nap may be a little bit boring. i say he could be taking a nap. who gives a damn! the ending is open ended enough for you to bring whatever the hell you want into it. does he wake up shortly after and they celebrate? why not? it makes as much sense as him breaking all those other promises and amassing the power of friendship to kill himself. you'll have a bit of trouble defending your head canon once the answer rolls up, unfortunately. guess he really is dead!

i will sustain that it's left open ended on purpose. it may be a little bit self explanatory, yes, but as long as it's not spelling out anything directly at you, you can take it as you will. the idea of coming up with an epilogue that blatantly details what happened seems off the mark to me, but at the same time i can't criticize a piece of story content i haven't seen, so that's all i can say.

i liked persona 3 reload. it's a fun game. it has great music, generally fun gameplay and enjoyable characters. it's not my favorite persona game by far, but it has many redeeming qualities to it that make it a really interesting entry. i deeply enjoy the dichotomies between themes, settings and aspects for persona 3, 4 and 5 a whole lot, which makes each one of them stand out in their own right. the more i played and as time passed, i started wondering how much i actually care about persona 4. i'm not too sure about it by now. i should probably replay it at some point, but this has taken way too long to write so here goes nothing. it's been one year and one day since i created this account. thank you for reading.

#review #game review #media analysis #persona 3 reload #video games

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sillyrabbit81 · 3 years

Text

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 2.5k

Warnings: Smut, swearing

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 6 Part 8

Part 7

Liam's phone rang. He ignored it and let it go to voicemail. When it rang again, he made a noise of disgust and took his phone out of his pocket to look at it. "It's my publicist. I had better take this."

Liam answered the phone and went outside to talk. I turned the oven on and started to unpack the groceries. Then I got the roast, put it in a baking tray, poured olive oil over the top and seasoned it with salt and some pepper. I got out some onions and garlic and started to cut them up to place around the roast to give it some added flavour.

"That looks great," Liam said when he came back in.

"Thanks," I said, and I gave him a grin. I took the tray and put it in the oven. I got my phone and put an alarm on, giving myself time to cook the veggies before they finished. A thought came to me, and before I could bite my tongue, I said, "They do say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

"Really?" Liam licked his lips, looked down at his pants and said, "I'd say they were aiming too high."

It took me a minute to work out what the joke was. When I finally did, I couldn't help but laugh and hide my face in my hands.

"You've gone so red!" Liam appeared to be having fun with my inability to control my blushes.

"Oh, my God!" I said, still hiding my face and laughing. "Alright, that was funny."

It took me a while to stop laughing. When I did, Liam said sombrely, "Sweetheart, I have to tell you something."

"Uh, oh, it doesn't sound good."

"It's not bad. I don't know how you will feel about it." Liam then told me that his publicist had called to let him know there were pictures put on Instagram and Twitter of the two of us kissing at the pub last night. "Your name hasn't been mentioned, and the photos look to be shot from pretty far away on a mobile, so someone in the pub took the pictures. Sarah says they probably aren't going to tell who you are by the pictures unless someone who knows you well comes forward."

I think if my eyes bulged out of my head any further, they would have fallen out and rolled on the floor. "That quick?" It was all I could think to say.

"Yeah. It's hard to know what will come out and when. A lot of times I go out, and no one notices me, but other times I have paps or members of the public following me for hours."

"Who's Sarah?"

"My publicist." Liam reached across the bench and took my hand in his. "Are you ok?"

"You say they don't know who I am?" Liam nodded, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I wasn't happy but what was I going to do about it? I picked at my nails. I needed to paint them; the pale pink polish was starting to chip.

"You ok?" Liam asked again

I shrugged. "Your life is weird."

Liam chucked. "You keep telling me that."

"So, what happens now?"

"Well, usually Sarah would say to private all social media, but she had a look and said she could only find a Facebook profile for you which was already private. Do you have any others? Instagram? Twitter? Snapchat?"

"No. I have a YouTube account that I use to watch videos, but that isn't linked to my real name or email. Also, a Tumblr account, again not associated with my name. And no pictures of me."

"Tumblr?" He raised an eyebrow. His fucking lip twitched.

"I was a confused 22-year-old ok?" I said a bit defensively. "I haven't used it in years," I remembered then the dating site we met on. I quickly logged on and selected the options to hide the account.

"Ok, well, there's not much else right now. A few rags called Sarah for comment. She said the standard no comment and asked for my privacy to be respected. The rest is up to you."

"Up to me?" I asked, confused. "What's up to me?"

"When you want to confirm the relationship and release your name."

"Liam, I met you less than 24 hours ago and have known you only a few months. I'm not ready for that. I like you a lot, but maybe you pick your nose and eat it, and I'll have to dump your arse tomorrow and then it's been a big song and dance over nothing." I joked. The mood had gotten too heavy for me. I wanted to talk about something else.

"Sweetheart, I'd never do that." He smiled sweetly, "I'd make you eat it."

"Ewww!" I screamed.

"Get over here." He chased me around the bench, and after a few evasions and some more squeals, he caught me. Perrin came in through the doggy door and barked at Liam a few times. Our behaviour obviously scandalised him. "Perrin," I called. "Come here, boy."

"You think your dog can save you?"

"Of course, he's very protective of my honour."

"We will see about that." Liam bent over, and I thought he was going to tackle me. Instead of flying backwards, I was hoisted forward and found myself over his shoulder. I screamed as I heard a loud crack, my hands flying to my bum.

"Did you just smack my arse?" I must admit I was finding all the manhandling arousing. I wasn't going to let him know that, though.

"Yes, I did. Want another?" Liam was heading down the hallway, taking me to the bedroom.

I giggled. "No!"

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," Liam quoted. Shakespeare sounded good with his accent. I giggled some more, and I got another one. Yes, very arousing.

Liam hummed. "I quite like the view here." He rubbed my bottom and took me into my bedroom.

I was very close to his round bum. "This view is not so bad either," I said and smacked his arse. Unfortunately, it probably hurt me more than it hurt him. His butt was tight!

Liam dropped me onto the bed at that point, and the look on his face was hysterical. I couldn't stop laughing, and tears were rolling down my face. Then I did the most embarrassing thing: I snorted.

That was it. Both of us couldn't stop. Every time I calmed enough to think I could speak, one look at Liam's face, and I'd be off again.

Eventually, we stopped, and I was able to say, "Oh my God, your face! That was so bloody funny." I wiped my eyes.

"I think that may have been the first time someone's done that to me."

"Really? Didn't you go to an all-boys school?"

"Yes, but it wasn't the US." Liam tried suppressing a grin as he said, "we got ball taps."

I tried not to laugh. I really did. "Oh, my God!" I was off again.

We watched the original Mad Max before I had to go and finish dinner. I was horrified when Liam said he hadn't seen it before. I immediately made him watch it. He said it was ok, the concept was great, but he didn't love it. I told him he needed a brain scan.

When I went to make dinner, Liam offered to help, but I told him not to be silly.

Liam sat at the kitchen bench chatting to me while I chopped and blanched the vegetables. After a while, he said he had to call Sarah and his assistant Ryan to make sure he had organised the dog walker to take Cole for a walk and play.

"Any update from Sarah?" I asked Liam when he returned. I feigned disinterest while I finished slicing the roast.

"All the same right now. Some sites have posted the pictures, saying I was spotted drinking with an "unknown female companion." The pictures have circulated a bit on Twitter, but it's mostly just by fans. They haven't hit the mainstream yet. It's all fairly standard, and it will go away by tomorrow by the looks of it."

"Good," I said. A look I couldn't interpret passed over Liam's face. He masked it pretty quickly. I opened my mouth to ask if he was ok but shut it again. I said, instead, "dinner's ready." I passed Liam his plate.

"Thank you," Liam said, leaning over to kiss me before eating. I watched as he cut up some beef and started chewing. "Pretty good. Almost as good as Mum's," he teased with a wink.

I elbowed him, and God bless him; he pretended it hurt.

We ate in silence for a while. I gave a few pieces to Perrin. He was so old, and I couldn't help but spoil him occasionally. He won't be around forever.

After dinner, Liam insisted on helping me clean up, and we stacked the dishwasher. Watching him bend over, his jeans straining as he put the plates in, stirred some feelings. Erotic feelings.

"Want to watch another movie?" He asked.

"Not really," I said. "I'm in the mood for some dessert."

"Ice-cream? I can't have any, but you can."

"Not ice-cream," I said, shaking my head. I looked at him with my very best bedroom eyes.

"What do you want then? Want me to go to the shops?" He said, not catching on. I put my arms around his waist. "If you let me borrow your car, I'll go. I can just go on my own."

"No, you wombat." I met his hips with mine, his eyes widened. "What I want is right here." I wriggled against him. Liam grinned widely, his cheeks creasing in such a sexy way.

"I thought you were shy."

"I am getting used to you," I said. "The real me is coming out." The truth of my words took me by surprise. I looked away, second-guessing myself. Why did I do that?

"I like her," Liam said hoarsely. If he hadn't spoken then, I think I would have stopped. But when his hands went into my hair, and he pulled, stretching my throat, I knew I wasn't going to stop. He kissed me there, and his teeth grazed my skin. My fingers reached under his shirt, and they gripped his back. My nails dug into his skin.

"Bedroom?" I whispered.

"Bedroom," he agreed and walked me backwards to my room.

"You promised me something earlier today," Liam said in between kisses. We were close to my bed.

"What's that?"

He stopped kissing me and cupped my face with his hands. "You said I could undress you."

Liam took hold of my t-shirt and waited. I nodded. He slowly lifted my shirt up and over my head before dropping it to the ground. He tilted his head as if contemplating and gently turned me around.

I felt Liam gather my hair and put it over my shoulder. He caressed my back with his fingertips, making me shiver with pleasure. I heard him give a satisfied hum before undoing my bra. He turned me around again and took hold of my bra straps, pulling them down my arms.

When I dropped my bra beside my shirt, Liam took a step back. He looked me up and down, his eyes hungry. I wanted to cover myself under his intense gaze, my earlier courage wavering under his scrutiny.

My arms started to move, and he gave me a stern look. "You're not thinking of hiding now, are you?"

I shook my head and forced my arms back by my sides. "Good, because I want to look. You're quite the sight." As if to emphasise his point, he adjusted himself through his pants. I felt a thrill of excitement flow through me and felt the familiar throbbing between my legs.

Liam got down on his knees and kissed my belly. His rough stubble tickled. "Your skin is so soft," he said in a low voice. He undid my jeans and kissed a trail down as he unzipped me. His breath was warm, and I felt it through the cotton of my briefs, his last kiss placed just above my slit.

It was almost agony. I moaned at his teasing breath and lips. Then Liam pulled down my underwear and kissed my mound. I felt his tongue part my lips, and when he found what he was looking for, he flattened his tongue and moaned into me.

I didn't know what to do. For a moment, I wanted to stop Liam, but it felt too good. I could feel my resolve waning. I didn't want to wait. Why should we wait? What was I waiting for? I had to stop thinking and go with it, enjoy him, enjoy the experience. I put my fingers in his hair as he licked and sucked at me. He seemed to remember what I liked, and soon I was close to my peak.

One of his fingers played at my entrance. I silently begged for Liam to put it in. My core was desperate to be filled. His finger slowly entered me, and I was lost. I needed him. At that moment, all I wanted was to feel more of him inside me, have him fill me.

I felt like this was the moment. If I don't ask Liam now, I probably never would. If I didn't want him now, why am I even allowing this to happen? I wanted him. He excited me like no one had done since Andy. He had knocked down the defences I'd built to keep myself alone. Keep me in my grief and guilt. I didn't want to be alone anymore. I wanted to feel desired again.

"Fuck me?" I asked. The words just tumbled out. I knew at that moment I would beg if I had to. "Please, Liam, I want you to fuck me."

I wasn't sure if Liam heard me. He increased his attention, and I felt the pressure building. His hand gripped my arse, his fingers digging into my cheeks as he pulled me closer to him. The short rough hair on his cheeks and chin tickled against my thighs. My legs buckled. I couldn't stand up anymore. He held me there while I panted and moaned, seeking release.

I felt my climax arrive like a bolt of lightning. It was sudden and intense. My body contracted as waves of pleasure exploded over me. Short, wordless shouts came from my mouth until it was over. I collapsed onto the bed.

I laid there a while, eyes closed, trying to catch my breath. Liam was shuffling around and heard his belt come undone. I felt the bed dip, and I opened my eyes to find Liam naked, climbing up the bed until his face was above mine.

Liam supported some of his weight with one hand and laid on me, our whole bodies skin to skin. He was warm to touch, and he almost felt hot to my now cooled skin.

"Ask me again," Liam said.

Part 8

#original story #original fiction #romantic story

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