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57sfinest · 1 year

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calling harry a “can opener” was SUCH a good play for so many reasons i think about it every day.

in the context of his work, it makes him a tool. as many people have pointed out, including martin luiga, part of the hdb tragedy is that he simply cannot leave the force, and his superiors know that and are using it to their advantage. no matter what happens, even if harry hated every nanosecond of every bit of the work and wanted to leave, he can’t and won’t leave. they can leverage anything they want against him and then reel him back in with a facade of kindness when they “allow” him to keep his job, as long as he does what they want him to. the 41st knows he has this inexplicable talent with people and they use him for it. he’s a cop: that talent can be used in so many awful ways, to push so many different agendas. and they won’t even be his own. a can opener has no particular desire to open a can, aside from maybe the satisfaction of fulfilling a purpose. a can opener has no agency, it’s just a tool for someone else to use to get what they want. and he’s learned to be okay with being used as long as it means he gets to stay. his complacency with this system makes him guilty even if he’s also being harmed by it.

but in the context of his personal life you kind of... flip it. the people around him are going to be opened up whether they want to be or not, and it’s terrible for his relationships. it’s shown that the questions, the prying- the can-opening- it’s become inextricable from who he is as a person. it’s like he doesn’t know how else to communicate, except it’s hardly communication when you’re just ripping people open. he’s invasive as all hell, although whether he means to be is debatable. he’s the kind of person that wants to take things apart to see what makes them tick. he dissects people, but really that’s too delicate of a word for what he does; if he doesn’t get what he wants right up front, he’ll abandon all subtlety and go for brute force. if he can’t get your screws loose he’ll just smash you on the ground and pick through your pieces until he’s satisfied, and if what he did to you isn’t fixable? oh well, there are other cans to open.

and he’ll use it for personal gain: we already know he is (was?) manipulative. once he knows how you operate, he knows how to make you keep him. he can yell or he can cry; he can threaten you or he can threaten himself; he can be completely suffocating or he can withdraw completely; he can be an incorrigible liar or brutally honest; he can present himself as a threat or a joke or a talent. he’s a chimera- that’s why he’s got this inexplicable magnetism, even when people know they shouldn’t like or trust him. fidelity of character means nothing to him. he’ll be whatever he needs to be as long as it gets him what he wants. the can-opening is just his way in.

#disco elysium #harry du bois #and it works on us the audience as well!#look at how many different versions of harry there are out there. each tailored to our individual preferences #we exaggerate and minimize his traits according to what we want to see. he's can-opening us too!#it's just like. of course his job will frame the can opening as a positive thing #but it's honestly one of his worst traits. or at least it is when he doesn't keep it in check #there's nothing wrong with wanting to understand people but the way he goes about it is harmful to everyone including himself #he's doing it because he has ulterior motives like 99.999998% of the time #this is mostly about pre-martinaise harry but i have no doubts that post-martinaise harry can go right back to this btw #a lot of us prefer to think of harry as drastically improving after martinaise which is great and i'd like to hope he does but.#it's also good to consider the overwhelming possibility that he will go right back to being a total shithead #and that may be completely unintentionally! which almost makes it worse!#ALSO. this is part of why kim makes a very good foil #for the most part kim will stonewall anything he doesn't feel like sharing #harry needs to respect boundaries and by god does kim have a lot of those (affectionate)#HOWEVER kim is definitely susceptible to the can opening as well #wait okay i have another post idea.#anyway thanks for reading. as always feel free to add and share thoughts!#kiwipost #hdb meta

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recitedemise · 6 months

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𝗠𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗚𝗮𝗹𝗲'𝘀 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀, 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗠𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗽𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿. This lengthy headcanon will refer to canon dialogue from mostly Gale, sometimes others. Reader's discretion is very much advised. There will be in depth explorations into grooming, emotional abuse, heavy manipulation, and suicide.

First, let it be said that Gale, a mortal man, will always be the powerless one in his dynamic with Mystra. Of course, nearing forty years of age, he remains entirely responsible for his own actions, his own foul blunders and every hurt he'll cause, but it's important to remember who formed much of who he is: his goddess, his deity, and egregiously, his lover.

Mystra is power. Mystra is possibility. She knows what sway she holds over her Ioyal, vulnerable, and entirely mortal followers. In all ways that matter, they are but lambs she can steer and herd as she sees fit. She knows they can't deny her, and knows they'll never want to. Gale's sheer servitude and complete devotion; to the very quick of his bones, she lapped them up.

Gale: I was just... practising an incantation. Player Character: No, there's more to it than that. I know devotion when I see it. Gale: What can I say? She's—she's Mystra. I can't describe it, the need I sometimes feel to see her - to draw the filaments of fantasy into existence... Mystra is all magic. And as far as I'm concerned, she is all creation. Player Character: I didn't realize the depth of your devotion. Gale: Magic is... my life. I've been touched with the Weave for as long as I can remember. There's nothing like it.

Gale, orb in his chest, doomed to be eaten by the very thing he loves the most, still speaks so reverently of the goddess, of his lover that has left him to die. He conjures images of her memory—and she is all the while forgetting about his.

Minsc: Gale reminds me of vremyonni of my homeland. The man-mages of Rasheman. While the girl-folk go on to rule as wychlaran, Weave-touched boys were hidden away. Trained to work their craft in silence and secrecy. It is an old custom, not well-observed. In truth, I thought it born of caution after some catastrophe of wizardly men-folk of old. Now, I wonder if it was not done to hide them from Mystra, and the snares she sets for young and prideful boys, hm?

Tales of Mystra's treachery spreads far, leaving those familiar waters surrounding Gale's tower in Waterdeep. They whisper her name, afraid to utter it one time too many, suspecting, perhaps, that she'll show in their mirror like some Faerûnian Bloody Mary.

Talent rouses Mystra. She can see who uses the gift of the Weave and feel them, sampling whatever delight sings their veins as they pull from her domain. Not unlike a spider, she'll follows every tremor that strikes her as just a sliver more profound; and Gale, a prodigy, plucked the Weave's web to so garner her focus. And like some black widow scurrying, she surged down that ripple to prey on a boy. There, Gale, so impressionable, was just a mite older than twelve whole summers. He sat so stunned, beholding Mystra as she lured him into the cradle of her Astral domain. Bathed in her magic, pleasantly coddled within that glittering cosmos, Gale felt blessed in a way he'll struggle always to recount, no word, no language, fit to describe it. He felt chosen. He felt seen. And potently, to a child, he felt loved. Now, imagine a child experiencing something like that. Imagine what they'd think, how brilliant they must be when stood beside the rest. She told him he was gifted, made his heart swell not unlike a child's appetite for praise. She knew what she was doing by offering these morsels, by preying on a child's most delicate mind, and Gale, child prodigy, was already so awash in the idea that his value was in magic. Unfortunately, Gale, susceptible, had no way of squirming out of his goddess' grasp.

Reality: She's laid down the seeds to creep into his heart. When he's just old enough—seventeen's sufficient, she thinks—she stakes her claim and makes him hers.

Gale: My virtuosic talent once caught the eye of the goddess of magic herself, Mystra, who named me her chosen and her lover.

Gale is stunned when she takes him to bed the first time. (Is this really happening?) Mystra claims his mouth in a kiss, taking everything she knows he offers so willingly. Mystra, of course, is not so stunned.

Dream Visitor: An elder brain... one of the cruelest and most powerful creatures in existence, enslaved by mere mortals. Gale, tasked with Mystra's missive to sacrifice himself: This is it... I must do as Mystra commands.

Gale has worryingly low self-esteem beyond his magic. As already explored, his entire worth as a man hinged on and was built entirely off his talent as a wizard. He fought tooth and nail for any crumb of affection Mystra would offer his way, something she only gave him at all seeing his gift as a child. He wants her forgiveness. He desires it genuinely. He believes so firmly that he has wronged his goddess, buying into the idea that sacrificing himself will right his wrong. She holds such dominion over him, making him reduce his confidence in himself into a mere, trifling pittance; after all, she wasn't just his lover, but the patron deity he prays to. And regardless, Gale is a people pleaser, his initial acceptance of her missive coming as no surprise.

After all, Gale, at times, goes to incredible lengths to appease his audience. This habit, compulsion, impulse, whatever you want to call it, is a quality that was relentlessly exacerbated in his relationship with his immortal paramour. He wanted to content her, felt all he did was never enough, for as a matter of principle, he was oceans, leagues, and entire galaxies beneath her. Gale figures: well, how can a short-lived dalliance satisfy a god? He had to make her happy. Indeed, he'd done everything she'd ask. He'd bedded her how she liked, kissed her how she wanted, and of course, even said those words she'd said tasted best. She was his lover, a lover that never tended to his own needs and pleasures, and he fooled himself into thinking that's enough. He won't bend backwards for everyone, mind you, but if you're of the ones he would, he would stop at nothing to make you happy. After all, people pleasing is a way to keep oneself safe, a trauma response to sidestep discomfort, and though it achieves only a direly tentative peace, when that is all you've been fed, you will pursue it.

Gale did not want to lose Mystra; he couldn't bare the sting of it. And so, when Elminster visited him, Mystra's call for his death offered oh so callously, Gale, heartbroken, felt that part of him kick up. He couldn't endure the guilt, was so hungry for a chance to let his weighty heart breathe, even if it meant dying in the process.

At least this way, he'll finally do something right. At least this way, Mystra will forgive him, and all his friends will survive.

Gale: After I was afflicted with my condition, I locked myself in my tower for an entire year. I was inconsolable, wallowing in my self-inflicted tragedy. I'd given up on myself.

As a byproduct of people pleasing, Gale, too, is all too quick to accept all guilt. He self-deprecates, gaslights himself to a venomous degree, and twists his reality in so cruel a way as to make him the villain Mystra'd led him to believe. He self-flagellates himself, the first one in the world who will throw Gale of Waterdeep a mental punishment. Mystra's a goddess, after all, seen as utterly faultless, and twined so tightly with a being so mighty in esteem, Gale slipped into the role of the guilty often. When tied with anyone with grandeur like this, so immeasurable in their own self worth, it's important to keep in mind this: you are nothing but a prop in which to fulfill their ego. Gale was not Mystra's, not by a long shot. Rather, Gale was a tool, simply her mortal extension.

And he took every blow meant for her... a common and terrible habit for many people in imbalanced, ego-fueled relationships.

Gale's life beyond her wasn't something that interested her. She took most of Gale's devotion, manipulated his life to be her sole mantle of attention, for Mystra is not a goddess that shares very happily.

Indeed, long before his self-imposed isolation, this jealous deity did well at keeping him isolated.

Player Character: Picture kissing him. With tenderness. Then, with passion. Gale: I... I didn't think— Narrator: You perceive quick-fire embarrassment, trepidation, and finally... elation.

And so, cheated out of love, so reduced in his value as a man and lover both, suffice to say, Gale's slow to believe he can ever be loved. That's what happens when you're with someone so cold, consistent only in their infinite lack of respect. Gale looks at fondness, and he feels—confounded, to be sure. He thinks, is this truly mine to have? He doesn't know what to do, is nearly forty in game, and despite having lived decades devoted to one relationship, he feels, at the same time, entirely out of depth. To be frank, he greets it with embarrassment, like he's been caught red handed with something not his at all. He's like a child caught rummaging with his hand in a cookie jar, all this isn't mine to enjoy, not mine to indulge in, but he thinks, startled, but god, do I want. He wars with disbelief, uncertainty, and need, and in so many ways feeling utterly starved, with just a glimmer of affection, he falls fast into love.

Scenario: (And if properly romanced, it changes his world.)

Gale: In her (Mystra's) likeness, I used to read a thousand stories. She was beauty, wisdom, elegance, power... she contained universes. But now... it is hard to see any redeeming qualities in a lover who condemned you to death. I'd much rather gaze into your eyes than hers. Yours are capable of tenderness and feeling... No god could ever compare.

He says it with sincerity. There is such wonder, such love, and such awe in his eyes. He makes the act of kissing him feel like you've just reached into the trenches to but pluck him soundly from his ruin and despair. You think, Gale Dekarios, how unloved have you been all this time?

Gale: To know you love me for the man I am, and not the magic I command… none have loved me so purely before.

The answer is: entirely.

For so long, Gale thought love was simply being chosen. He knew nothing of being favored for the quality of his character, to be cherished and accepted even in those ways he fumbles and lacks. Again, his needs were seldom met, often treated with utter indifference by Mystra herself, and to meet someone so eager to treasure him, dote on him in a way his heart, his body is somberly new to, raptures his spirit and captures his soul. He's seen for who he is. He's... loved, desired for his silly quips, his easy smiles, and his growing affections. He bares himself to them, and in turn, they cradle his heart like something entirely precious. Gale thinks this has to be dream. He says, at times, you are more than I deserve.

Scenario: (But sometimes, he hopes too strongly and loves too greatly. As it always does, then, like he's once more wanted too much, he watches something beautiful slip right through his fingers. Of course, Gale Dekarios. Of course it does.)

Player Character: I didn't know you felt so strongly, Gale. Gale: Perhaps I should have done more. Been more charming, more flattering, harder to reach... but I was only myself, and sometimes that isn't enough.

They don't love him anymore. It breaks his heart. He hurts so much, so profoundly and deeply, and he doesn't realize that he breaks their heart in turn.

Unable to ever voice his feelings with Mystra in any way that amounted to much, Gale's a tendency to wallow, expressions coming off as potentially 'guilt-tripping' and even, on occasion, passive aggressive. Firstly: Gale NEVER means to manipulate emotions, and he's no intention of twisting anyone's arm, either. Fact is, Gale, never taken seriously when he'd bared his vulnerabilities to the Mother of the Weave, can end up saying just a little too much. He feels very deeply, and for most his life, seldom had an outlet for these weeping sentiments. He sometimes lets slip raw words and oftentimes heart-wrenching expressions; all the same, it's not so pitiful as to shepherd an outcome, but rather, is a gesture taken by a man so desperate to be heard. It may feel like scheming, but the truth is far, far greyer: feeling as though he's no right to share the depth of his heart, Gale simply lets it geyser out in a way he can't cork up. In ways he doesn't realize, he's adapted to this ache, passively reacting so his feelings can at least be seen and recognized—no matter how pitifully unwhole. With someone who values so little his thoughts... well, when he slips into these moods, one can hardly feign shock.

Situation: (And if no one shows him trust and tenderness, any true care in his character or worth, Gale gets swallowed up by how wronged he was.

He thinks: Let me be a god. Let no one hurt like me anymore.)

Gale: They only want us to serve them, pray to them...and ultimately, to die for them. But what if we didn't need them? What if we wielded their power instead and helped ourselves in all the ways they refuse to? I could make that happen.

Gale is not above anger, and as stated, he is not above pettiness; however, more than that, he is not above righting himself whatever wound he was struck. Gale, if not offered much by ways of affection, understanding, is made to believe that one idea that's lived growing in his mind: Gale Dekarios is far from sufficient; he has to be more. He has to be better. Gale, in such an unkind ending for himself, sips too desperately—and perhaps greedily, too, but desperately serves as a far better word—at that idea that he needs power. And so, wresting the Crown of Karsus for himself, he spites Mystra in his own way, becoming a god he feels is leagues better than she will ever be. Damn her thoroughly. Damn her ego, her power, and her endless indifference. He will serve the people, protect them, and in ways Mystra never could, better the world.

Situation: But as a god, he loses all sense of his kindness. Humanity. All who loved him leave him, and even Tara spurns the image he's become. With power, he's gained the respect he thought he always wanted... but in turn, he lost in even greater measure all the love he's known.

Endnote: But healing, knowing to forgive himself and knowing he's deserving of care simply for being Gale Dekarios will remain, always, the best path for him.

#HEADCANON.#Oh... anyway. This. Was. A lot.#And it was a lot for me mentally and emotionally to write.#So much of this hit home.#Gale isn't perfect. He can be petty and immature—a byproduct of not being all too good at venting his frustrations when #it gets to a point. He has very bad self esteem. He is not forgiving of himself and is too forgiving of Mystra.#He endured FOR DECADES the cold indifference of a goddess he called his lover.#I know people dog on him because he's a grown man with these hurts and traumas and responses #but just because his trauma manifested in ways you don't find palatable or hot or sexy #doesn't mean they aren't scars left by trauma buddy!!!#And quite frankly that bit about God Gale sounding vindictive and angry #yeah! SOMETIMES people who have so cold and uncaring and belittling a partner #end up angry. You shoved someone into a corner and hounded them for SO LONG. Don't start crying when they rear back on you and bite #I have a deep connection with godhood Gale. But obviously a healed Gale that finds love and acceptance in himself is so much healthier.#I'm rooting for you Gale (always).#So much of this was typed up with a lot of first hand experience so... to say this was a Gale exploration #as much as a way to navigate my own trauma is an apt one.#No two tales of abuse are alike of course. Gale's experience isn't my experience. But I can sympathize a great deal.#TL;DR: This meta post means a lot to me. K. Thanks.

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theflyingfeeling · 5 months

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...💌

#not-very-seriously contemplating making a fitalk sideblog #just so i could ramble on about my fic ideas like the lunatic i am without bothering anyone #because istg i come up with at least 3 new ideas a day and more if necessary #but i'm too self-conscious to do that on my main blog too often because i always manage to convince myself no one actually cares #and that the only few people who do seem to care only care because they want to be supportive #and/or think it's cute i'm so passionate about the fics/pairing or whatever #and there's nothing wrong with that and i'm thankful of course!#but it sort of makes me feel like a child being praised by adults ya know? 😭#and idk maybe i just feel like this because i used to share a hyperfixation OTP with a friend #and i'd come up with new fic ideas/headcanons for our OTP on a daily basis #until the friend admitted they weren't even that into the pairing #they just found it adorable to see how enthusiastic i was thinking of stories of them :)#which made me feel like such an idiot lol silly me thought they were as into it as i was #like. i get the need to infodump about hyperfixations to a friend even if the friend is not into the hyperfixation #especially if you don't know anyone else to whom you could talk about it #but i don't need that personally. i'd rather talk about my hyperfixations to someone who actually wants to hear it #and not just because they think i'm being adorable or they want to support me #i can very well keep it all to myself or just idk talk to myself?? lol #so yeahhhh i kinda don't want to make myself feel like a clown like that again 🤡#i do realise i think about fic ideas an unhealthy amount probably lol #but then again isn't that what actual published authors do all the flipping time?! the only difference is that i'm not getting paid for it😤#this wasn't supposed to become a rant lol the words just started flooding #anywayyyyy who wants to hear about my royalty!aleksi / ballet dancer!olli fic idea with side roommates-with-benefits olli/joonas?#additional tags include 'helping the other put on make-up' and 'anal fingering'. if you even care #(pls don't actually ask it's ridiculous)

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mel-loly · 1 year

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-“Just a flower, in the middle of the field at night, a light is turned on and reveals.. A day arriving with confident hope and silent happiness!”🌹🐝

#for those who didn't get it.. today is my birthday! and so tomorrow is really the day of the party and etc..#that's why I put “arriving” because tomorrow is a really special and very important event in my life akzbskhzjsb #and yes. I'm cosplaying as princess bela. she's one of my favorite characters and her dress.. It's literally a dream come true for me!#because I'm really going to use one similar to this one tomorrow irl and-#I won't tell you guys more details because it's personal things but- well. that's a little explain of what the art is about!#I really feel very happy.. and I admit. I don't even know how to explain my happiness but.. well...#I feel special. surrounded by people who *really* love me and show true affection for me and..#that I just have to thank. for everything. I have gratitude for all of you! like- thank you very much. really. for everything..#I can't even express in words how grateful I am for each of you #know that I love and appreciate everyone who is still with me on this journey called life!#and of course- I couldn't forget to talk about him lol. thanks to mike!#I don't know what would have become of me if I hadn't met someone as friendly and good-hearted as him #he was always by my side and made me feel more special in every day. in a unique way and one of the most important to me..#I love him very much/p. and I hope that our friendship will be forever happy and respectful the way it already is!#(of course. this also works for the other friends I made here too- please don't get mad or jealous! I love you all. okay??)#and well.. that's it.#I hope I still stay here. that I enjoy my day and face any fear or harm that I might have ahead of me and..#that I just hope for the best. I put everything in God's hands and I feel confident that things will work out no matter what the cost!#thank you guys again for everything and happy birthday to me lol-💛#happy birthday to me #it's my birthday #mel creator #mel loly #cosplaying of beauty and the beast #i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog #art mel #art #my art #my oc character

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enigmasandepiphanies · 9 months

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I think some of y'all (people in uni) were never 15 and read, "we accept the love we think we deserve" and sobbed while reading perks of being a wallflower and it shows

#gift giving is not a competition to some of us bestie #love is not conditional #dont make me overwhelmed by making our mutual friends bday a fucking competition #thank god her best friend also agrees and we are both her best friends so we know #but just why are people so #like this insecurity with love is so insane #people who want to see your love will see your love at the end of the day and if they don't keep being the lighthouse around please #anyway in other good news spoke to the cool batchmate i always wanted to talk more with and she was also like bro i love having convos with #you lets hangout and so we ate dinner walked and talked about history partition cultural stories my ex friend's bisexuality crisis which was #so similar to hers also takked about my cultural crisis family stories her firefly house urdu poetry her boyfriend my career pospects #so yayy i guess but so tired presentation was good prof questioned a lot cause he literally knows my source text authors its his friend in #uni and this girl said he'll take us out for drinks on last day of course so yayyyyyyy #my roomie and her bf constantly talk eh that is but i am gonna shower play my playlist till i sleep #today has been something but atleast i will have dinner with a new person tomorrow as well so yayyyy #life is just being very overwhelmed lately and i just hope people i love know that i love them and i am missing them even though #they live a floor above from me or live miles away too actually #eni life stories

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babybrothershaped · 5 months

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personally i find it quite funny that adam went to hell and no one mentioned him again. he wasn't mary's son so he didn't mean anything to the rest of the winchesters

#i promise i actually do like adam its just both sad and funny to me how none of the winchesters gave a shit about him 😭#it was that anti john post about how john only contacted adam after sam left for stanford #thank you for rbing that post ashi ssfghkk #they complained that cage fics are always about sam and not adam and its like. yeah of course we forgot about him. spn forgot about him too #but ive also read some very interesting cage fics of both adam and sam together and their seperate experiences so

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starbuck · 5 months

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@derelictship tagged me to post my top 9 films watched in 2023. It didn’t specify “for the first time,” but I went with that despite how large a couple of my rewatches (watched first in 2022) loomed over this year as well…

To Be or Not to Be (1942) - Absolutely adore this film. I actually forgot that I watched it last year because it’s really and truly climbed inside my brain and it feels like I’ve known it forever. It’s the film that made me start paying attention to Ernst Lubitsch as a director when I had the realization of “WAIT a second - isn’t that also the Trouble in Paradise guy????” - so I owe it everything for that alone. I rewatched it a bunch of times and showed it to four people, to pretty positive reviews! My cousin even unexpectedly requested that we watch it AGAIN so my other cousin can see it! My second favorite of the year.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) - Only watched this once, but I loved it immediately and am itching to rewatch. Will be seeing it in a proper theater in February and bringing my mom along, so hopefully she likes it as much as I do!

Arsenic and Old Lace (1944) - I watched this one on my birthday while tipsy from wine and it was one of the best experiences of my life. The first film I really enjoyed Cary Grant in, which made me very happy because I WANTED to like him, but I just kept hating the roles I was seeing him in for various reasons. I’ve liked everything I’ve seen of him since, though, so all is well now!

A Night at the Opera (1935) - Another one I am itching to rewatch because I enjoyed it so much the first time. I want to show it to my family, but I feel like it’s most effective if you’re already familiar with the Marx Brothers, which my family is not, so I’m figuring out how best to facilitate that.

The Third Man (1949) - THE film of the year for me. I loved it so much the first time, that I didn’t believe it could possibly have been that good and had to rewatch it to confirm that yes, it really is. I’ve rewatched it several more times since (including once with my family, who enjoyed it), and I watch the whole thing with a smile on my face because it just makes me so, so happy.

The Seventh Seal (1957) - Decided to finally watch this one while grievously ill (VERY mild cold, but my first since 2018) without knowing what it was about, which was a TRIP and it Got Me, so here we are. I’ve told James this already, but it was a conversation with my coworkers involving this film that led to the infamous tragedy/catharsis post. I’m also gonna be seeing this one Big in a theater this year!

12 Angry Men (1957) - If I recall correctly, I watched this one during the same illness and really enjoyed it. Yet another I am excited to rewatch sometime this year!

How to Steal a Million (1966) - I forget who recommended this one to me, but thank you! It was highly enjoyable and went directly onto my “favorites” list!

The Smiling Lieutenant (1931) - Snuck in at the VERY end of the year! I had actually put it on my schedule for this year, but I got impatient and watched it early, so it counts for 2023. Yet another film where I had absolutely no idea what was happening or going to happen, and became more and more delighted as the film went on. Just procured a physical copy, so I’m going to be posting my favorite parts soon because you ALL need to see this and I will not rest until you do. Probably my third favorite after The Third Man and To Be or No to Be.

I watched around 60 new-to-me films in 2023, more than I have in any year EVER, and I plan to double that in 2024, so I’m excited to see what new gems I will “discover” for myself!

tagging (with love and no pressure): @calamitys-child, @lupismaris, @mobydyke, @frodo-of-the-nine-fingers, @thesundanceghost, @ishmaels, @knownoshame, @pocketsizedquasar, and @halewoods

#i think all the direct recommendations i’ve received are scheduled for this year #so - if you’ve recommended smth to me or hyped it a lot in general - stay tuned!#and i’m always taking more recommendations #even if i can’t fit them in this year - i will put them on the big list for the future #i like um… humor? tragedy… Triangles?? i feel like that describes my taste pretty well (it doesn’t - but if you get it you get it)#dislike uh… Grating Misogyny #i’m willing to watch through it in certain cases but i’m never going to LIKE it #and in extreme cases i just get too annoyed and have to stop #once you realize that not ALL films from ‘back in the day’ were Like That - you start to lose patience with those that are #because you know it was a Choice #you feel me?#ANYWAYS - thanks for the tag friend!!#this past year was SO fun - lot of incredible films i saw aren’t listed here #because i generally define my favorites as ‘films i want to rewatch’ rather than ‘the best pieces of art i witnessed’#(although these are obviously all also very well-made films as well of course!)

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awakenthebeing · 1 year

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that’s SO funny that piepoe just straight up leaves when they’re overwhelmed. so inspiring. wish we could all be so brave

NEHQHABABAHAHA YEAH NO NO LITERALLY. piepoe is used to being alone and has a sort of social uncomfort due to it? But not in the sense of social anxiety, in the sense of "I need to leave right now or someone is going to be thrown" kind of sense. Of course Piepoe doesn't become hostile until extremely bothered by a social presence, aka someone who persists despite her leaving for some alone time. Then she just grabs them and throws them far away from it!!

He does his best but he fucking sucks at getting out of social situations in a polite manner they just up and leave without saying a word or grab the thing bothering and throw them anywhere that isnt near herself😭😭😭🙏

#thank you for sending such a powerful thought tho. i wish i could do it too imo #shes just doing her best... sometimes its too much... and it literally doesnt want to politely say theyre overwhelmed #while he DOES wanna be polite the uncomfort is very bad for them so they just need to leave asap. no questions asked #but HEHE REGARDLESS!!! of course sending much much love your way!!!#be safe and eat and drink water... don't forget its okay to leave a social situation if youre overwhelmed!#you can always inform the person about the situation later or right then and there just whenever ya want to <:3

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astrxealis · 9 months

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okay rambles but i started creatively writing in like ... 5th grade? and. oh god just a little encouragement to anyone looking to get into writing or insecure or whatnot, but HELLS, maybe it's to he expected with my (obviously) very young age and inexperience with writing then, but my writing was really. yeah. Yeah. but then i'm what... a lot older now, obviously, and my writing has gotten leagues better. i'm probably not a good example for this bcs childhood years development stuff are different etc etc BUT practicing writing more and whatnot really does go a long way :]

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#my writing in 2020 is a lot different than my writing now even! especially so compared to my writing from 2010s #reading a lot of media is also really important :] i always read a lot of books BUT i only started to really read poetry since the pandemic #which were uh basically my early teenage years so idk if i'm a good example for this bcs childhood brain development and stuff (???)#BUT STILL ..... playing games like ffxiv and being really invested in the lore and writing + reading more poems and being fascinated with #more authors and pieces of literature + expanding my general vocabulary knowledge whatnot ... it all really goes a long way!#oh man i'm pretty proud of myself actually. i do love my writing. as imperfect (as all things are) it is.#i had a lot of Pauses with writing throughout my uhh relatively short life thus far since i'm NOT yet an adult and all aha but yeah!#so bless ffxiv again for bringing back my writing spirit... and other medias and whatever <3 #rn i have to thank bg3 for bringing back my Creative Spirit bcs i've been writing a lot more again and having/working on my creative ideas!!#okay i just wanted to ramble a bit lol ^_^ there!#idk my being a writer is very important to me. and my journey as one too.#i want to make a book one day! most feasibly would be to make a collection of short stories :] a bit similar to 'm is for magic' maybe bcs #i grew up with that lol neil gaiman i adore you <3 #i have a very special original world in my head but i am a little selfish and want to keep them all to myself... oops. or who knows!#anyway i have a lot of ideas and i adore writing and literature sooo much <3 #anyway. okay. leaving it here.#cheering on every writer author whatever out there !!! unless you're a sucky person of course yuck bigots but yeah ^^ <3 #huge writing inspo for me is uhhhhhhhh. thinking #ffxiv! does ffxiv count. esp drk quests. and shb as a whole. and then... edgar allan poe? neil gaiman? yeah?#can't remember anyone else good gods but i love vivid and imaginative storytelling and writing descriptively :] a bit of prose but also #quite simple in its eloquence (???) unsure honestly oh gods anyway BYE rambles over apollo signing off beep boop AGHHHHH (screams)

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myladyofmercy · 5 months

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it's been a while since i hit a big follower milestone and i fully blame the artful dodger

#800 followers #gained so many new mutuals since this show dropped #haven't been on this big of creative high since young royals #i love it here #also today is a very sad anniversary so now i can connect the date with smth happy too #thank you for everyone who has followed me recently #it truly means a lot #(and of course everyone who's been here for a while)#🥳#also my dms are always open

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ao3screenshotss · 1 year

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I’m not sure if you give credit to the fics used in this blog, but I’m still going to include it just in case. https://archiveofourown.org/works/45823654/chapters/115322548

#submission #i always appreciate when people give credits to fics and their authors!!! they deserve more recognition so thank you for crediting!!#of course not required but very much appreciated :DDD #anyways #dramatic irony at its best #but tbh id do the exact same lmao too awkward #thank you for submitting!!

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masakousuke · 5 months

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Thinking of wiping my ao3 to get a fresh start on it for my other interests ngl, not to be all "I want you died" on this fandom, but it's sucked the life out of me and if I can't be happy with what I made, I want nobody to be. Fuck your silent enjoyment, in all honesty.

I'll be very real. I've been writing a super long fic I really cared about. I really really cared about it. I still love it. It's 130k+ words and entirely sitting in my docs, and I had a bunch of other far shorter fics that had been finished and never posted. I'm not feeding my work to nothing and nobody except potentially AI. What for? To suffer from having shared your heart with others only to be ignored? I get enough of that in real life.

Summer fic is mine, all mine. And maybe it's a good thing that it is because maybe it was every bit as bad as the rest of my work clearly is.

It has not been a pleasure. I've tried my hardest to make it one. I'll fuck around here when I want. Catch me elsewhere if you care.

That's the energy I'm starting 2024 with. Sorry for expecting the unreasonable all the time. There is no joy in creating without sharing, so I'll share something else with someone else.

I'll see if I want to delete those fics. But if I do I will delete. Not orphan. They are mine and were never anyone else's.

#hitorijime #hitorijime my hero #last spiteful message or something unless i feel depressed and come back to you again like a man drunk calling his ex #some of you were cool and some even still are. but I'm very done with everything! thanks #I'm too mentally ill for this and always was. of course nobody asked me to make things #I shouldn't have gotten so excited over this. now it's just left me hollow #maybe someday I'll grow the fuck up #for now this is all i have for you. a tantrum. goodbye it's been incredibly not real #shut the fuck up ulri

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orcelito · 5 months

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When you get this ask you have to answer with 5 of your fave songs, and then send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers!!

Awwww thank u !!

In terms of Absolute Favorite songs... I think the #1 spot still belongs to Capricorn by Xan Griffin

Even after Years, it still hits something deep in my heart. I have cried to this song before, which is saying something for me. It's just... really special to me.

Hard as Fuck to give a ranking for another 4, so here are 4 songs from some of my favorite artists

Non-exhaustive list. Idk if these could be counted as my top favorite songs Ever, but that's such an arbitrary classification and can change depending on mood/general state of being/etc. So here r just a lot of songs that I love very much from some of my favorite artists. Yes.

#anonymous #ask #i think u can tell a lot about me from me choosing these 5 songs as top favorites lol #i havent been listening to grandson as much this year as prior years but i still love his music #and this song was one i listened to OBSESSIVELY when it first came out #yes id say i like it more than blood//water. that song is so good too. but u must understand. this song SLAPS #armageddon is the blue stahli song that makes me wanna just jump in place. such fun !#music people was of course my top song this year & i love it so very much #and then Nothing Personal was the first song i heard from des rocs. and it rewrote smth in my brain i think #i love love LOVE his music. very good person in a very bad place was THE album of 2022 for me #but this song stands above that in terms of just. agh i love it so much #id say des rocs is probably my 2nd favorite artist behind iamx. so very special to me #i really should listen to more xan griffin. i was listening to this song project when it was first coming out #(a thing of songs for every zodiac sign) and man. Man.#im obsessed with it very much. but havent tried to branch into anything else. obviously this needs to change.#at some poing lol. later.#anyways yea thank U for the ask. im always very eager to talk about music heheh

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lacomandante · 5 months

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teresa has this calm, protective kindness that makes me insane upon rewatching the sharpe series tbqh. and richard getting WHIPLASH hearing he’ll see her again is so perfecttttttt 🥺 i appreciate how there’s time for scenes independent of her romance that show how intelligent and compassionate she is despite all that’s happened to her. god i love her sm

Anon you are SO RIGHT on ALL of these points.....I foam at the mouth and roll around on the ground just THINKING about all of this. Teresa has every opportunity to be cold and cruel and ignore others, and she doesn't. She sees that Sharpe's struggling with leadership, nearly killed by his men if she hadn't intervened- pointing out to him that even though she doesn't always do what her men want, she asks them- does he just beat them until they do it? (There's a number of factors there beyond Sharpe's control, but she makes a good point.) She listens to soldiers gossip, gives him advice, sees him take that advice and SMILES when he does!! She doesn't have to do any of this but she does bc she wants to see him improve!! She sees him learn and grow bc of it and it's just so sweet... I definitely wish we got to see more of her by herself, but I love those moments, however brief. Especially with her and Josefina!! She checks up on her and makes sure she's alright, comforts her when she's going through a rough time, and offers her a solution to her problem."why do you try and hide your feelings? you're really quite kind." 😭 She wakes Sharpe to help, and makes him promise later to look after her and AAAHHH she cares!! she knows what its like to be a survivor of assault and she tries to protect both josefina and lady farthingdale!! And I have a multiparagraph rant about it but like. Teresa wanting to saving Lady Farthingdale from Hakeswill, her compassion and her kindness!!! are used against her!!!! AUGH!! But because that last thought is really sad- yes, I love how much Sharpe gets excited to know Teresa is nearby. His neck is on a swivel and if he were a dog you'd hear his tail thumping the ground rapidly. Hogan can get Sharpe to do just about anything by mentioning her name- and Sharpe is constantly thinking about Teresa throughout Company- where is she, why couldn't she get out, is she coming? And his panic when he thinks she's been shot coming out of the fortress OOUGHH...but I think one of my favorite scenes of all is the barn scene in Enemy, him poking his head out from the window and being SO excited because WIFE!!! WIFE IS HERE!! FUCK THE ROCKETS WIFE IS HERE

#;letters #(thank u anon i love u. we are All in the Teresa Moreno fanclub and you are SOOOOOOOOOOO RIGHT!!!!)#(i am such a sucker for romance and i LOVE teresa/sharpe but i too also wish teresa had more scenes outside of it)#(like i keep forgetting that we only get one scene of Teresa interacting with Ramona in Enemy and in my head theyre besties)#(bc OF COURSE they are- theyre both spanish and their husbands are best friends!! how can they not be)#(ramona can bitch to teresa about harpers...lack of performance in her native tongue LOL)#(but even from the one scene we see theyre having a lovely time and are very good friends ;ww; )#(teresa needs more friendships but especially female friendships too)#(anyways please feel free to send me asks all the times always forever i love this THANK YOU)#(giggled twirled my hair and kicked my feet)

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